eskawrites

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thunderstorm writing session let's gooooo

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welp, I’m almost halfway through my office’s hunger games (aka an AI-driven downsizing project that will result in an unknown number of layoffs) and I have so far managed not to break something or snap at my supervisor for saying something fake and stupid. I think I deserve a reward

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robin's rings save me. save me robin's rings. robin's rings please

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I remember one time in my freshman year of college the dorm head went to each floor with like hot cocoa and cookies and gave us all a cute lil presentation about the importance of sleep, and I specifically remember he gave us this statistic about how trying to go more than 24 hours without sleeping was the equivalent of being drunk (I remember because I had just been the first person on the floor to pull an all nighter and everyoneeeeee turned to look at me at that) and idk if that’s actually true or not but like you get the point

So anyway funny how, all that considered, I’m still better at my job than the almighty plagiarism algorithm 🤔

Monday morning week two of AI training hell and the company’s on fire and I got a total of zero (0) sleep last night but at least I had eggs and bacon and quality control is an ancient relic of the pre-AI age so literally nothingggggg matters. Let’s fucking go.

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Monday morning week two of AI training hell and the company’s on fire and I got a total of zero (0) sleep last night but at least I had eggs and bacon and quality control is an ancient relic of the pre-AI age so literally nothingggggg matters. Let’s fucking go.

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two women. and they kiss. think about it

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the problem with ronance is that they're so cold weather coded to me. they are autumn angst and winter melancholy. the eeriness of october and the trauma of november and the little spark of hope and warmth and healing that comes in december. and yet it is 90 degrees and so humid outside i can't breathe, so writing shall remain slow and difficult

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Natalia Dyer as Willis Things Heard & Seen (2021)

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just spent 3 hours doing freelance stuff and filling out job applications instead of writing fanfiction like i planned to. everyone be amazed for i am, in fact, god's bravest soldier

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GOD not enough people talk about how Stranger Things is literally all a metaphor for trauma. The abused gay kid is taken by a monster in his own home. The poverty-stricken mentally ill single mother has to confront a monster only she can see. The depressed cop grieving the loss of his child has to save another child from the monster. The bullied kid who's desperate to fit ends up unintentionally sacrificing the one person who really cares about her to the monster. AND THAT'S JUST SEASON ONE.

The Shadow Monster is literally mistaken for PTSD by the Lab. It's chasing after Will, following him everywhere, catching him off-guard. Will and Nancy's S2 story is so interesting when you realise they're the same, except Will's is a literal monster and Nancy's is a figurative one. Haunting them, turning them into someone they're not (Will being flayed, Nancy getting blackout drunk at the party). The closer they get to the anniversary date the more the walls being closing in on them. Nancy stabs Will -aka the Mind Flayer- with the fire poker, and is the one to watch the Shadow Monster leave both of them from the cabin door. Only for her it was all symbolic.

Season 3 Billy is the main target, while Will was sneaky and very apologetic while flayed, Billy was aggressive and volatile. The Mind Flayer twists his mind into doing unspeakable things just like his trauma already has for years now. It'd fucked him up so much the only thing he knew how to do by the end of it was let the monster completely take him, and end the suffering of not just himself, but everyone around him.

Season 4 is just... blatant about it. They said fuck metaphors the monster is literally their trauma. Max spent her entire year borderline suicidal and running from the people that care about her. The only thing that saved her were the fact that her people loved her entire to literally reach out and touch her heart.

Nancy's trauma was old, and constantly festering beneath the surface. Vecna took her suddenly, without warning, re-traumatised her and then let her go, because it'll just keep festering for her like it's always done. He blames it all on her, and until she can accept that it wasn't her fault, Vecna will always have a hold on her.

Don't even get me started on Eddie. People say his death was pointless and he should've just run? Yeah, that was the point. He was tormented by the town for no reason, written off from the moment he was born. He was doomed from the start. That's what makes it so tragic. What would've happened had he lived? Really? Let's say, miraculously, he escaped being imprisoned for the rest of his life. The town would still despise him, he would still be hunted by people looking for "justice". It would never escape him. We're talking serial killings here, that's national news. He was destined to have a pointless end. He just chose to sacrifice his life to save her friends from having an equally pointless one. That's why he stopped running. Not for himself, but for everyone like him. His gravestone says "Now At Peace" for a reason. He'd never felt peace in life. His death should make you angry at how pointless it is, it would've never happened if the monsters hadn't been chasing him.

GOD. This show is good. And it's all an analogy!!!!

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help i'm in my big sister robin feels again

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do you own anything autographed items?

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I hate how every time the cyclical discourse of why there aren't many femslash ships on ao3 lists people line up to resurrect the "there are no well written female characters" argument and beat it to death again. The writing of the female characters or the ship has nothing to do with why mlm ships are more popular.

Mlm ships are more popular because most of the people in fandom are attracted to men. Thus, when they see two hot men interact, they will ship them regardless of how said men are written or how much screentime they have. On top of that, there's a contingent of lesbians who also exclusively ship mlm pairings. When you account for them, all the other queer girls, straight girls, and queer men, you will get crazy numbers. There's such a simple explanation for it, yet people constantly try to fault creatives and the source material instead of being honest and saying, "I like men, so I write men."

This isn't an attack on people like this. I don't believe in bullying people based on what they like. I'm just tired of the bullshitting. This is not 2012. Female characters have been written with depth for years now, and even if they weren't, when has shallow characterization or shitty writing gotten in the way of gay ships? Girls will write 20 000 works about two men who were mentioned off handedly in the source material once and have no canonical ties and then look me in the eyes and say wlw characters just aren't well written. At least they were written.

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I miss her (Nancy Wheeler)

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i did not think i was writing a creepy scene until suddenly i heard a weird noise in my apartment, realized it was not in fact the cats, then had to do a walkabout and turn all the lights on as i made sure there weren't in fact monsters chilling in the hallway or something

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Eddie Munson could have fallen off the planet for all that Nancy kept up with him after everything.

It wasn’t intentional. Or maybe more honestly, it wasn’t anything personal. She just didn’t see them having much in common outside of saving the world.

Maybe, if the schools hadn’t stayed shut down — despite all the “think of the children” pleading that came from the parents who remained in Hawkins, two weeks after having to see their children an extra eight hours out of the day — and she had tutored him to help him graduate.

Maybe if she had stayed in Hawkins for longer than it had taken her to confirm that the end of the world had really, really been averted and to churn out a think piece on the hidden victims of the Satanic Panic for the Hawkins Post (that then got picked up by the Indianapolis Star and went all the way to the USA Today).

Maybe if any other number of what-ifs or could-have-beens had taken place, she could have let one more bond born from trauma fester into something close to friendship, but she’d gotten out as fast as she could, and that was that.

Now, with him being in Robin Harrington’s tiny office, she finds herself confronted with another ghost of her past. He looks healthier than he had in ‘86. His hair is still long, but more in line with the grunge that seems to be popular now than the heavy metal he favored then. The scar that mars his jaw and throat isn’t as freshly healed, red and angry, but has settled into a puckered pink. The wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look is familiar from their time together; he looks between her and Robin.

Robin, who has pulled herself up to her full height, is towering over Nancy. Her face set in a stern look that Nancy hasn’t seen on a teacher since she corrected Mrs. Simpson’s grammar in the fifth grade. She feels about as small as she did back then, as Robin’s voice goes cold, “Is that a problem, Miss Wheeler?”

“Birdie.” If it weren’t for the context of Robin, she doesn’t think she could have picked Eddie Munson out of a lineup. She certainly doesn’t remember much of his personality, aside from loud. So it can’t really be a surprise that he seems to be sticking up for her.

She is though. So surprised that she doesn’t realize that the two of them are still talking. Hands flying, Nancy, unused to guilt, feels bad that she is, maybe most surprised that Eddie can sign more than anything else that has happened that day.

“Fine!” Robin spits.

“How have you been, Nance?” Eddie asks, like they catch up all the time. Like Robin isn’t fuming three feet away from them.

Robin, who is glaring at a middle distant point between her and Eddie like she can’t decide which one she is more mad at, asks, “Where’s Steve?”

“He’s at the payphone, got a page from his emergency placement on the way over. We’re getting lunch, do you want to come, Wheeler?”

“She’s busy.” Robin answers for her in time with her own, “I couldn’t.”

Eddie isn't someone she thought of as wise, but he keeps his mouth shut. Maybe it's something that has come with age, or surviving being hunted for sport. "Whatever you need to discuss with me, Miss Wheeler, you can make an appointment."

"I'm gonna step outside and wait with Stevie."

"No," Robin snaps, and though Eddie's anti-authoritarian nature is one of the few things Nancy remembers about him, he stops in his place. "It'll only take a second."

Her stern glare now directed at Nancy. "I'm available tomorrow after 10."

Nancy really needs a translator. She needs one she doesn't have to wait on, but her options are starting to seem few and far between.

It's best to accept what she's being given, she decides. "Fine. I'll be here at 10."

"With bells on, I'm sure."

"Let us walk you down, Nance." Eddie's overfamiliarity grates, if she's honest, but she knows the value of having someone in her corner.

"Sure."

Eddie slips from the room first; there's a lingering awkwardness in his shoulders that she remembers from high school. He signs something quick to Robin, Nancy doesn't bother looking over her shoulder; she knows she'll find a pretty face twisted up into something cold and unforgiving. And it's not like she can eavesdrop on a conversation that has no words. The door shuts behind them with a decisive click, and for just the briefest of seconds, as Robin is pulling it shut, her eagerness to be rid of Nancy has them close, pressed flush from back to front.

She moves away. She needs a translator; she needs help. She doesn't need an answer to why Robin's sudden displeasure with her has something like nausea curling in her stomach.

read the rest of chapter 3 on AO3

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coming out as a kpop demon hunters stan just so I can say that this is what it sounds like is a cfdau robin song