#so i can call medic now
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
guys i still use the internet i promise!! i just haven't been drawing a lot lately, but here's a quick doodle of my medicsona as onea them classic tf2 wiki medic render stock images
#ive been messing with his design a little#i love this stupid fps game#also i finally have a premium valve account#so i can call medic now#and i can go HELPPPPP HELPE HELEPEP#i love men#happy pride btw#my birthday is tomorrow :)#ok now actual tags#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 oc#tf2 fanart#tf2 medic#tf2 oc art#tf2 ocs#tf2 mercs
48 notes
·
View notes
Text
THIS THING IS SCUUUFFED AS HELL & ITS ALSO THE BEST THING I HAVE ANIMATED THUS FAR. IM SO IN LOVE WITH EMIZEL. JUST WISH I GAVE HIM MORE STUPID TATTOOS. NEXT TIME THO. NEXT TIME. I ALSO LOVE VEX&VIV SOOOO MUCH. charlies flavor of Deranged is my FAVORITE!!
#cw gore#jrwi fanart#THE SQUIRMING IMAGE#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#ACTULY FINISHED THIS A WHILE AGO. kept going back n forth between trying to work on it more or call it done#in the end i chose DONE!! i worked on this for a full day n a half. NO idea what possesed me but it is NOT happenin again anytime soon#i shall do better NEXT TIME!! in the meantime tho OH MY GOOOOOD WHO WANTS TO SCREAM ABT THE SUCKENING WITH ME#THE FUCKINNN THE FUCKIN THING WITH VEX N VIV BEING THE SHADOW LEADERS OF THE FANGS/DEMONS#OH MMYY GOOOODDD THATS THEIR LIL MEAT GENERATOR... THTS SO FUCKED UP AND COOL UUUGHHH I LOVE THEM...#THEIR FLAVORE IS SO WONDERFUL. I LOOOVE HOW SILLY THEY ARE. MAKING PUNS WHILE PULLIN A SCREAMING VICTIM APART#vex n his lil fashiony art workshop and viv n her sterile n clean doctors office#i bet she doesnt even HAVE a medical liscense. it would be funny if vex did tho. could u imagine#they main MEDIC in tf2 together. viv is the battlemedic while vex only pocket medics for her. COULD U IMAGINE#guh i could go on abt these two forever n ever n ever i LOVE THEMM i gotta draw em more....#OH ALSO before i run outa room. i should say. i took inspiration from a tf2 animation called POOTIS ENGAGED#the animator. Ceno0. uses black bars in the action sequences in SUCH A COOL WAYYY everytime i watch that video i feel inspired#oneday ill make more complex fight scenes... one day....#in the meantime UGHHH I LOVE THE SUCKENING SO MUUUCH CAN I JUST FUCKIN SAAAYY THAT I THINK EMIZEL IS A SMART COOKIE!!#THESE PPL FUCKING FEAR HIM NOW!!! 'SHAMIA SHAMI' IS NOW THEIR MORTAL ENEMY!! POWERFUL ILLUSIONIST. CANT DIE.#THAT PART AT THE END THERE WHERE HE FUCKIN. KILLS HIMSELF INFRONTA THEM. THATS SO AWESOME. THATS SO METAL. AND THEN HE COMES BACK!!#I WATCHED EP 7 ASWELL BUT I WONT SPOIL IT HERE. BUT OMYGOD. EMIZEL IS SO COOL AND CAPABLE N SMART N FUNNY N UGHHHHHH I LOVE HIMMMMM#OKAY THATS MY RAMBLE FOR THE DAY THANKYOU FOR READING. I READ ALL TAGS SO YOU SHOULD RAMBLE TOO. IF YOU WANT. IF YOU CAN.
762 notes
·
View notes
Text
girls when their issues get dismissed as anxiety for the millionth time
#futaba sakura#persona 5#p5r#p5#fanart#futabadoodles#chat i am SO losing it#went to get diagnosed w adhd wasnt diagnosed because and i quote “it could be anxiety” omfg#neurotypical psychiatrists especially white ones die in a hole 🥰#also because i “wasnt struggling enough”#like hi so i have this thing called emotional intelligence a good support system and access to coping skills hope that helps!#god forbid a neurodivergent person has tools to manage their condition and isnt in hell everyday i guess!#hate her ass!!!!!!!#i wasnt looking to get diagnosed for medication or support bc i already use a lot of like adhd specific supports and shit#and w accommodations my anxiety diagnosis can cover what i need for the most part so it was rlly just a validation/confirmation thing#like idk yeah. i am managing. im not particularly struggling. because ive been selfdx for a while and have implemented changes in my life#and i happen to be in a very very good place rn and im very lucky. so like. ???#rlly felt like “you have all the symptoms but youre not struggling enough with anything to be able to diagnose ypu” ok thanks fuck you#cuz ppl w adhd can manage being unmedicated by choice i js wasnt officially diagnosed before i guess its deemed “okay” to not live in hell!#dunno im frustrated. i have difficulties but i manage them well and i am very lucky to live an easy life for now so like 😭??
168 notes
·
View notes
Text
Part 3:
There is a universe, somehow, where Silco saves Vi.
It's... actually not all that uncommon, despite the circumstances.
It's a known fact they dislike each other: Vi's too much like Vander and she takes pride in that. That pride leaves a bitter taste in Silco's mouth.
They fight, often. Well... Vi fights, it's what she's best at. Silco listens quietly and tears her little arguments apart like wings from a butterfly. She curses his name and trashes his office every time one of his endeavors gets people killed. It happens more often than not - the price of freedom is always paid in blood.
Every death toll brings her to his office like a bringer of justice misled by righteousness. But he let hers storm in regardless. Sevika's learned to let her.
Every time, he sits and watches. Calmly. He watches her ruin months of careful notation or scorn a job well done. When necessary, he can chase her out with a few words. Usually, it's a reminder of her temper, her age, or Vander.
She's not Vander; it seems he's the only one willing to make her remember that. She hates him for it. For the death and the suffering and the fact that neither of them can fill the cast iron gloves hanging above the bar. Not really.
He isn't Vander either. He never pretended to be. He has no interest in burying his head in the sand. There's a cost to that... Vi know it.
She also knows that when the chips are down and the guns are aimed, when she's collapsed in an alleyway from a broken rib, and when it feels like it's just her with the Last Drop to her back... Silco's there. He'd do many things, but he'd never abandon her.
He drags her home and leaves Mylo to patch her up. He bails them out of idiotic schemes Vi got the five into. He hides enforcer bodies in the river (he never minds doing that). He pays someone off or makes someone disappear.
She still hates him, probably.
He... can't return the sentiment. She's irritating, in all those familiar ways Vander was, but it's different. He'd looked up to Vander, once. Much like Powder does to Vi - much like they all look up to Vi. But, she is not her Father. She is a child trying to fill shoes too big for her. From such a perspective, her irritating qualities are more... palatable.
She bartends, clenching her jaw and playing diplomat with the remnants of Vander's faction. She's a child, and the underworld knows it. Her hands are clumsier as they clean the glasses, unsure of how to be gentle when the rage burns.
The first time she asks Silco for anything is after she breaks the last of Vander's shot glasses. It's one of the only times her eyes mist in his presence. Nice glass is hard to come by in the undercity, and her going to the surface was out of the question... not after last time.
Silco has Sevika deliver the shipment, and neither of them mentions it again. Silco's shots are always served in a new glass, though. It's the closest to a thank you he can bear.
She's Vander's child. They all are. A step too far and the four (five, though Ekko's much better at staying out of trouble than his irritating late-guardian) gain a new title. Silco does not consider himself an emotional man, not anymore. But the first time an opposing crime lord tries to get to him through the children - Mylo, specifically - he finds himself... inspired.
Sevika finds Mylo in their enemy's basement. It's Silco who takes him home, a hand on the boy's trembling shoulder. They walk, tall - at least Silco does, something odd raging in his gut like a tidal wave.
It's a statement for him to walk Mylo home and he knows it. They're stared at - it's probably the first time he's ever done anything visible like this with any of Vander's kids. He doesn't regret it. Mylo doesn't either.
They root out the rot and leave a new scar in Zaun, Sevika is efficient and brutal when the time demands it. She aligns with Silco in that manner. He's never liked these inter-faction fights, but sometimes messages must be sent. Messages signed eloquently in blood are more memorable, and it must be memorable. Zaun's streets are too used to violence - if you want to send a message you must be... purposeful.
Mess with Vander's children and you will be meeting Zaun's ghosts.
It's the first collection of murders Vi doesn't condemn him for. Mylo's behind the bar with her, ranting about shitty air ventilation, nervous, bruised hands calming themselves as they dust glasses. Vi's quiet as Silco sits, not a word spared. She pours him a shot in a cleanly cut shot glass: it almost tastes sweeter.
They are Silco's wards. Vander's children, but under Silco's gaze. He doesn't want it to go any further, and the city would do well not to test it. Piltover too.
The marshall learns quickly enough that the streets play by new rules now. The Lanes are the safest place in Zaun for its children - they're nothing but a death sentence for enforcers.
Vi's... useful, in that regard. The only thing she seems to hate more than Silco is the people who got to Vander before he did. Another rare thing they both agree on. It's why he has no qualms about burying her ghosts when her rage is too strong and her fists too unforgiving.
So, yes, Silco has saved her before. This is different. It's not a glorious or proud moment... it's... necessary, as all things are in his life.
It starts when he slips by the Last Drop - he tries to do it fairly regularly. Not for the children, but for the statement. He's welcome here now. The streets know it. He haunts his old life, a stronger, fiercer phantom than any of his old demons.
It's pride, and he knows it. He strides in and smiles through the glares, Vi's included. She still pours him a glass no matter what fight they're having. She loves Powder too much to chase him away. That power is the halfway point between intoxication and sobriety, just as the shot of Vander's whiskey is.
He's late for his visit this time. Very late. More likely than not Vi's gone to bed and won't be up until late noon. He'll pour himself a drink and be done with it. It's not for the children - it's for himself. It always is.
There are no regulars to grumble at his arrival, just a drunk passed out in the alleyway next to the bar. Vi is still learning the art of cutting people off - sometimes he thinks she keeps the nastier ones drinking to teach them a lesson. Drags them home so they owe her a favor - so they remember they were at her mercy, once.
She's like Vander, but she's not all Vander.
Or maybe she is... Silco's throat is tight and his eye is beginning to throb from the long day. He reaches the door and stops.
It's left open.
Paranoia is an old friend. It keeps two knives on him, always in arm's reach. Danger is the best friend of Zaun's children, and it's taught him well. There's a gun at his belt too - ready. Always ready.
Vi does not keep the door open. It lets a draft in, and the stench of the streets. She's particular about such things.
Silco pushes the door open and takes a long breath. It's a familiar sight, not to the bar, but to Silco: there was a scuffle, of some sort. There's blood on the bartop and a broken bottle on the floor. Stools are tossed aside, and the jukebox is donning a new crack - it was a long fight, then. It seems the dancers danced their vicious waltz all through the bar.
Silco steps into the bar, still lit, but empty. There's... something climbing up his throat as his mind churns out the most likely probabilities. It tastes like river water.
Vi's a fighter, like her Father. The streets know it. They call her the 'little hound'.
Silco has no reason to correct them.
He crouches down to study a skid mark on the floor, right next to a small pool of blood. Someone's been punched, hard. Silco moves faster, passing the ghost of a bar and delving into its hold - the heart of this haven Vander built.
The door to the children's rooms is locked. That means one of two things. Either there's a nasty sight beyond for Silco to find, or Vi did what she does best.
He knocks: a rhythmic game that he knows one of the five will get. It's one of Powder's many games, tapping on his office door before barging in. Or his closet. Or his desk. Wherever her new hiding spot was. She and Ekko found some sort of amusement in startling him. Silco may loathe to admit it, but the pattern made their impromptu visits nicer. The anxiety leaves when the assassin in the belfry turns out to be the two youngest giggling at their endeavors.
Silco uses Powder's knock. He's met with silence.
There's a churning in his gut because he knows... he knows the costs of affections.
He's made enemies. That's condemnation enough. But Vander's made enemies too. Vander's children are still Vander's children - and the Hound's death doesn't satiate old blood feuds. And if it's revenge against Silco? He's not as clandestine in his affections as he wants to be...
Sevika tells him that much.
So he curses under his breath and slowly places his forehead on the door as he prepares himself.
If he opens this door... If those kids are dead... If Silco kicks this door down and finds bodies, he's going to make someone burn. He's going to carve this little haven apart in a baptism of blood.
A perfectly reasonable reaction. Justified, even. Not even Vander would disagree. It doesn't settle the crashing wave of something other than anger that's ripping him apart at the thought.
There's a scrambling on the other side and Silco releases a long breath he forgot he was holding.
There's a familiar hiss: "Powder - Powder no -"
Claggor's alive at least... and so is -
Powder opens the door taking a large gasp as their eyes meet. She runs to Silco and grabs him in a hug as if he's a lifeline and not an anchor pulling her into polluted river water.
It's not her usual. She'll poke at him or snatch something out of his pockets, but she's never been much of a hugger.
Silco isn't either.
He lets her stay, for now and places a hand on her head. She's warm... breathing and warm. He uses his other hand to push the door further. It reveals a more desperate scene. Claggor's holding a bloodied rag to his head. Mylo's nursing a broken nose from where he lays on the couch.
So it wasn't a long scuffle - it was multiple fights.
"What happened?" Silco only ever demands. Something Mylo hates - can't ask nicely, can you?
"Was one of those gangs Vi chased out a few weeks back," Claggor's always the voice of reason and honesty. Now he's donning a black eye and bruised knuckles. He has Vander's build, but lacks a stomach for fighting. He can do it - and do it well, but not like Vi...
He lacks her conviction. Speak of...
Damn girl. She's missing from their usual nest. Ekko too, but that's at least usual.
"Where is Vi?" Silco keeps his voice level, or he thinks he does. Powder pulls away and wipes her eyes, a familiar guilt dancing over her unblemished face.
"She went after them," Mylo answers, nasally, as he holds his head back. "Told us to hold up here till she got back."
"Alone?" Silco's not surprised but he is... angry.
Not at Vi. She's a fool; always has been. Like someone else he knew. She's doing what she'll always do.
Powder's near inconsolable, as she usually is when it comes to such things: "She told us to stay - I didn't want to but she made us promise and - and we couldn't find Ekko so we don't know where he went. I - I wanted to get you -"
"It's alright, how long ago did this happen?" Silco crouches down to meet Powder's gaze.
"I dunno, ten minutes," Mylo answers from afar. "You just missed it -"
"Which gang?" Silco's impatience is eating at him.
No one has an answer. Powder stares at the floor with tears in her eyes.
"Stay here," he orders in the face of silence. "Wait for me."
"You're gonna get her, right?" Powder pleads as he stands. "I can help!"
It's always about helping, with her. Always about being useful and loved. It's painfully easy to manipulate.
"Protect your brothers," Silco instructs carefully, softly. He looks around the room and eyes familiar explosive devices at her bedside. "If they come back to finish the job, use your tools. Make them regret what they've done."
"We don't need her-" Mylo begins to object before Claggor slaps his shoulder.
Powder doesn't buy his order, but it's enough. She bites her lip and nods. Silco spares her a warmer glance before he departs. The door closes behind him and it seems Claggor and Mylo immediately begin to argue: typical.
Silco's a bit too busy seething to do much else. He gives the bar another survey, trying to decipher what Vander's little prodigy got herself into.
It could be a little collection of street menaces. Faux-tough folks who like to poke and prod at any establishment they can, except of course the actual bastards of Piltover. Silco hated such short-sightedness. That energy would be better aimed at those gold-plated brutes that police the streets they spit on.
There's no chance of beating Piltover if the streets are too busy going at each other's throats. Vi had kicked out a few folks, and broken a few teeth, but retaliation had always been out of the question. She'd been spared from the worst of Zaun's cannibalistic tendencies her whole life.
Though she may hate it, Vi was the closest Zaun would ever get to royalty. The daughter of Vander, protected by Silco's knife edge. So either these bastards were stupid or they knew exactly what they were doing.
And if they were the latter, there was a large chance Vi wasn't just gone. That's the cost of sending messages.
You get sent messages too... in filthy, bloody packages...
"Thought I might find you here," a voice breaks through his concentration as he finds a few discarded coins by a table. It's Sevika. He doesn't even bother looking over his shoulder, as he pockets the change.
"Never a dull moment," Silco curses, standing. "Vi's run off."
"I know," Sevika mutters with a familiar exasperation. "I tried to stop her."
"You saw her!?"
"Yeah, caught her chasing down some thugs. She had a few scores to settle." Sevika is far too casual about it as she saunters over to the bar and pours herself a drink.
"And if it was a trap?" Silco's' challenge sounds a bit more paranoid out loud than it did in his head.
"I recognized the poor bastards, they're stupid - harmless in the long run," Sevika shrugs. "They take folks by surprise. Though they're in for a nasty one now."
Silco sighs, heavily, pinching his nose as a headache tries to wrestle into his priorities: "Where did she go?"
"Up towards the fishmonger's, at the pace she was at, she's probably caught up by now. She'll be back. They won't."
Silco doesn't say anything to that. He can't. So he leaves.
"Keep watch," he orders as he goes, because orders are simple, kinder things.
The streets are dark and damp, as always, but they're colder now. It's a bad idea to walk alone - especially given who he is. Not that he hasn't proven time and time again that the cost of messing with him is fatal, but his paranoia reminds him too easily how quickly a knife can come for your back. That being said.. these were Vander's streets and they are his now. Despite the animosity there, the old resistance keeps a watchful eye out on his back. He doesn't trust it, but he does understand it.
You take care of those kids now, or so the old Yordle from the brothel had ordered. Do that, and I won't mind you.
He still walks quickly and grapples with old ghosts. Vi's growing into something - something Vander would be keen on stopping. Something Vander had always been afraid of becoming.
It's a stupid thing, really. Silco's breathing in Zaun's poisoned air and lamenting on all the things that dead fool may have been right about.
Vi's useful as a little hound, but Silco's never gotten good at leashing her. Vander never managed it either. All of those kids were annoyingly stubborn and brilliant and mold them as Silco may, some things don't change. Not the river water of Zaun or the blood on the bridge - not the kids raised in her wake.
For the first time, Silco considers that maybe he's not the only one who drowned on these streets. It's no coincidence the thought comes as he passes the corner Vander died on.
He pushes it aside, quickly. He has something more important to deal with.
He finds her stumbling back. She's a mess. Broken nose, a black eye, and her knuckles are covered in blood. She is covered in blood. She limps along, guarding her side, pausing only when she sees him.
"Oh fuck me," she scorns and Silco has to chuckle at that.
"Hello Violet," he greets with a sarcastic glance. "You look well."
"Fuck off, Silco. What are you doing here?" half of the anger in her voice is from pain. The other half is her earnest loathing of him.
He can answer her honestly, though: "Looking for you."
"Well, you found me." She presses onward, passing him with a glare. He's content to follow.
They walk in silence for a while, Vi spitting out a glob of blood after a minute and cursing a colorful array for her wounds.
"Did you find them?" Silco inquires, once it's clear she intends to ignore him the entire time.
"Course," she spits.
"And, you walked away."
"I won. They're not coming back."
"Good," Silco supposes. The praise doesn't land kindly on her shoulders, but it's earnest.
"If you're gonna lecture me on how stupid going off alone was -"
"I have no such intention."
"I didn't kill them, either."
"I wouldn't care much if you did."
Vi sneers at that and presses onward.
"Call for a doctor, when you get back," Silco orders, gently as he can.
She glares at him - a clear refusal. It's not a bad idea, and she knows it, but because Silco said it, her little spiteful side would rather bleed out on the street.
That's... not Vander. It may be Felicia in her...
"Were you stabbed?" Silco suddenly catches a glimpse at the side she's guarding.
"No."
"So all the blood isn't yours?"
"Can you just fuck off?"
"Violet. Have you been stabbed?"
She whirls around, probably to hiss another insult at him, but she stumbles instead. Embarrassingly enough for both of them, Silco moves to catch her. She grabs a light post in place of his hands, and heaves out a heavier breath.
Silco watches, rolling his eyes at the theatrics. He pockets his hands as if they didn't almost betray him.
"It would kill you to direct your stubbornness somewhere beneficial, wouldn't it?" He jabs, in a whisper.
"I didn't fucking ask for your help!" She snaps back, pulling herself back up and pressing a bloodied hand firmer into her side.
"No. You didn't," Silco mutters, and he's quick to snatch her wrist, stained by her own crimson. He isn't as strong as he once was, but with surprise on his side, he can yank her hand away long enough to see the wound beneath it.
Oh, look at that. She has been stabbed. Who would've guessed?
She rips out of his hold and he lets her. It was a more performative act anyway - she'll glare at him either way. She leans away from him with a snarl of: "Fucking bastard." Like a cornered dog.
Little hound indeed.
"Sit down," he orders.
"No -"
"Violet. Sit. Down."
It doesn't usually work on her. The tone was more useful with Claggor - but she's bleeding out. Seems that some of the stubbornness is going with it.
She sags to the cobblestone with a grimace as she guards her side, hissing through clenched teeth as she lands heavily. Silco crouches down in front of her, pulling out familiar tools from a small pouch he always keeps handy.
Again, paranoia and preparation were identical twins, you could only tell them apart in practice. He was well-versed in both. He's had to stitch himself up too many times...
Well, he'd had to stitch up Vander too many times...
"Oh, fuck this: Get your damn doctor," Vi spits as she spies the small vial of astringent.
And Silco hums to match her scathing tone: "I would. But you've decided to give us a time crunch."
"I - "
"Move your hand."
"No!"
"Violet, I am not going to tell your siblings that you bled out in front of me."
It's the only way to get her to do anything. A familiar arm to twist when it's necessary. She knows it too, which is why her glare burns darker than Zaun's night. She still obeys, even lifting up her shirt a few precious inches to show him the gore beneath. That's enough - it's more than he dares ask from her.
The streets of Zaun are familiar with questionable medical practices, and Silco's familiar with impromptu triage. They'll need better stitches and a thorough cleaning once he's done, but it would stop her from bleeding, for now.
She hisses through her teeth when he pours the cleaner over it.
"Fucker -"
"You're welcome," he interrupts curtly. "And you're lucky."
She says nothing as she clenches her teeth and covers her eyes, breaths coming fast and heavy.
"If this had gone any deeper, or moved any higher, we'd be in a different predicament," Silco continues.
"Well, it'd fix one of your problems," Vi spits between heavy breaths as Silco threads the needle.
He chuckles at that one: "Perhaps."
Vi bites her already bloodied knuckles to keep from screaming as Silco begins his work. Painkillers would be a useful thing to keep handy, but Silco prepares for needs, not comforts.
This may... change that.
The closeness is one of necessity, and it's obviously no comfort to the girl. Silco works quickly. It's messy, but again, he intends to get an actual doctor as soon as the bleeding is stemmed. You can't exactly apply a tourniquet to a torso - and you shouldn't make a habit of stitching up your enemies.
Not that Vi was an enemy... not to him, at least. Not yet.
"Of course, if you did die," he finds himself musing: "I dare say Claggor will end up breaking even more glasses than you did."
She doesn't respond but there is a breath - quick... it may even be a laugh.
"Unless Mylo takes over bartending. In which case I should hike up our liquor order. Something tells me he'll get too eager to test the merchandise."
"Oh fuck off." There she is.
"We'll have to wait until Powder grows a bit taller so she can see over the bare - granted she doesn't kill me first for letting you die."
He cuts off the thin wire now holding the wound together. It snaps quickly and he ties it - tight. Vi's hand suddenly clamps onto his arm and he's thrusted back years by the force in that grip. He tries to hide it and likely does seeing how out of it the girl is. She's leaning forward, breathing heavily. His breaths, in conjecture: feather-light. Too quick.
"She - she wouldn't," the girl manages.
It's Silco who can't respond this time, staring at the white-knuckled grip on his arm. Well, they would be white knuckles if said knuckles weren't split and covered in grime. Familiar... too familiar.
Vi continues though, the pain spilling from her eyes despite the chuckle in her throat: "She likes you too much - looks up to you."
"A questionable choice," Silco finally forces out of his dry throat, carefully dissecting Vi's grip from his wrist.
"Yeah," she spits, leaning further forward, at least until Silco catches her shoulder.
"You'll split the stitching. You still need a doctor."
"Fuck."
Understandable. Silco helps her stand and, as if to scream how much she's truly out of it, she doesn't protest in the slightest. They make their way through the streets, slowly. The Last Drop is the closest safe spot, though the faster they find a doctor the better.
They get halfway there when Vi starts breathing just a little too heavy for his taste. She's shaking and when she starts leaning on him he caves in. They stop and he pushes her to a wall.
Another order: "Catch your breath."
She obeys. That's a problem. Vi does not obey. She seethes and objects and ruminates even when he's right. They're running out of time. He can't leave her here but he can't wait either.
Choices, choices, choices...
"I shouldn't have gone alone," Vi recites hatefully as she slides down to the brick wall, wrapping both arms around her stomach. "I know, it was fucking stupid."
"Well, at least you recognize it," Silco scathes, holding the bridge of his nose again as the ache behind his eye worsens. Brilliant. Who does he know around here? Anyone trustworthy?
"They needed to get the shit kicked out them," she rues, weakly.
"And did you get stabbed before or after you exacted your justice?"
"After. Fucker pulled a knife once it was a one-on-one."
"Predictable," Silco scolds. She glares, good - at least something familiar is still present.
"Maybe for you."
"Don't pretend Mylo doesn't play dirty. You know to expect it." Silco hardly notices he's begun to pace. There's blood dripping on the cobblestone, trickling from Vi's fingers. They need to move. Vi's breaths are still heavy.
The streets smell like river water. Silco can hardly breathe.
"I broke his face."
And that, Silco can laugh at: "I don't doubt it. Now get up. We need to go."
She closes her eyes at the order - a bit too long for his taste. He couches down and grabs her shoulder - fiercely. "Violet."
"I'm moving," she grumbles, taking his hand and weakly standing once more. Immediately, she collapses and Silco barely catches her, lowering her to the floor gently as he can as it all trickles out of him in hollow realization like the crimson from her side.
He sits her up against the wall and, heavily, takes a seat beside her. He can't carry her back. He's not that strong - maybe never was. And she's bigger now. He needs to go - get someone who can help.
He can not leave her. Not like this. Not like this.
He's lied millions of times, he'll lie a million times more before his life is through, but he made a promise, to a dead man, but a promise nonetheless. He cannot leave her to die another one of Zaun's orphans. Her last cradle in the cobblestones. He will not leave her to die alone.
"Fuck." It's weaker now, wet. She's crying.
He can't stomach it.
"We need to move," he tries to find a sternness to press onward. It ends up sounding desperate. His hand is over hers, applying pressure she doesn't have the strength to.
"I shouldn't have gone alone," she repeats. The anger's gone... it's fermented into regret.
"You should have called me," he hates the rage that is slipping through his teeth like the blood between his fingers. "I would've handled this."
"They kicked Claggor," she breaths - like that's some sort of defense.
"You are dying."
There it is: in the air. No taking it back now. He knows it. She knows it. Zaun knows it.
"You are dying because of your own idiocy," he seethes regardless.
"Keep Powder away from your fucking war," is her answer - always the fucking martyr, so much like her second father, it's disgusting. "Mylo and Claggor... keep them away -"
No. No he will not -
"You want to keep them away? Do it yourself," he hisses as he pulls her up again. This time he has one hand under her shoulders and the other pressed against her side, firmly. Her blood is warm against his cold hands and he tries to ignore it: "Move."
"Silco -"
Not fucker. Or bastard. Or the many other colorful names she's deemed him worthy of.
"Move." That's his answer. It's his answer for the next few blocks. Then, there's a stirring from one of the rooftops and Silco almost breathes in relief to hear a familiar rhythm of taps, asking if the coast is clear.
Vi notices nothing, she's limp, and in a moment of weakness, he digs into her wound, inciting a gasp. She's still alive and she'll fucking stay that way.
"EKKO!" He calls and the boy is there, peeking over a roof's ledge. His eyes are wide and Silco doesn't help to soothe the fear there. "Get a doctor! Now!"
"Who?" the boy cries back, eyes locked on Vi.
"Anyone! Closest one you can find." Silco's done with plans currently. No one will try anything stupid with Sevika staring over their shoulder. Time's not on their side. On Violet's side.
Ekko's smart enough to not get himself kidnapped - probably. Tonight's just been full of all sorts of lovely surprises. Though if he has to chase another child down he can't promise he'll maintain his patience.
They press onwards. The streets are dead this early in the morning. It's nearly time for the early risers to stir. What fools do creep the streets vanish at the sight of Silco and his fiery eye.
Vi's a heavy weight on his side, her feet dragging more and more with every moment.
"I seem to recall one of Vander's teachings warning against this exact situation," he mutters.
The sound of her late Father stirs her just a bit - it's all he needs. Her eyes flicker over and he drags her onward.
"Something about being careful about the fights you pick - and the causes you die for," he scorns.
A familiar warning. One he'd almost died for. The hands around his neck are heavy, but still lighter than Vi's weight on his side.
She doesn't answer.
"How did it go?" Silco breathed rhetorically. "Every time you raise your fist, make sure you're ready to die for it?"
"Make sure... you're ready... for someone to die for it," Vi breathes and it's not relief, but it's something similar that fills Silco's flooded lungs.
"Ah, of course. He was always so worried about collateral," Silco feigns ignorance. "And murder."
"Yeah," Vi barks a weak laugh. "You... wouldn't... know..."
"I wouldn't," Silco agrees. "Everyone has something they'd die for. I happen to think certain causes are worth killing for. Vander did too, he liked to pretend he didn't."
Vi goes silent so Silco clears his throat: "Not this though."
She does huff at that.
"It will be embarrassing if you die from this," Silco mutters.
No answer. He begins to calculate the next way phrase that could stir her up when she breathes a weak laugh.
"He wouldn't have died from this."
"Neither will you," Silco states.
"He... wouldn't have been stupid."
Silco does roll his eyes at that: "He absolutely would have been."
"Should've... seen it... coming."
"Yes. But you'll learn."
"I was... angry."
"I know." Silco breathes. Because he does. He knows it better than anyone else. Better than Vander would've.
Like a blessing from Janna, there's a golden light spilling from down the street, and they turn towards the Last Drop. They aren't a step towards it before Sevika is at the door, throwing it open and running towards them.
"The trick about anger, Violet -" Silco breathes as they slow. He looks at her and finds a determination in those eyes - "It's all in knowing how to use it. That rage will either kill you... or keep you alive. It's time you decide how you'll use it."
Sevika is there and she picks Vi up like she weighs nothing. The doctor arrives a few minutes later, Ekko on his heels. Some kinder neighbor who lacks prowess but is willing to do it for free - to repay an old favor to Vander.
Good enough. He's too tired to play Zaun's usual games.
Powder's crying next to him. Mylo and Claggor fret the whole time. Ekko takes his place next to Powder and watches with a mixture of grief and horror. Sevika is strangely quiet.
But Vi? She refuses to fade. Refuses to pass out. She grips the chair beneath her and grinds her teeth on a twisted rag from Sevika as the doctor works. Her nails carve into the wood until splinters bloody her cuticles - and sometimes, she looks to Silco.
He doesn't know what she sees there, doesn't know what she's looking for. He just knows she's going to survive.
She knows it too.
She's not Vander, never was. It's not a bad thing.
But it changes everything.
#Arcane#fanfiction#AU#Arcane AU#Dad Silco#This is just Dad Silco AU#But he's adopted four children#Five actually#But technically he'd already adopted Jinx so there's just MORE now#Part 3#Still have no idea what to call this AU#The focus has really been on Vi and Silco I know#They're just so interesting#Silco#Vi#Ekko#Claggor#Powder#Mylo#Vander#I'm feeling “Children of Zaun” but like that title is so extra lololololol#stabbing#blood#impromptu medical care#Ya ever bond with your third dad after nearly bleeding out in an alleyway?#Listen: They kicked her bro she wasn't gonna let that slide#Vi! Your third father is the leader of organized crime he can HELP!!#Vi: I would literally rather die than ask that man for help#Silco: That's embarassing. Also don't you DARE -
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)
#moe talks a lot#i was shaking earlier and despite the fact i sound like im gonna cry#and the fact that my mom can pick out im about to cry from pain bc im trying to take less pain meds#LIKE MY MOM IS INSTRUCTING ME TO DO#shes like well why arent you taking any pain meds#BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO AVAILABLE OPTIONS AND ON A SIX HOUR TIMER#i cant take both at once or else what happens to me if i hurt before the six hours is up#i have to manage them in a way that allows me to benefit from both and being told im doing it wrong#after being told well its your fault it got so bad because you never complained about pain before#YEAH NO JOKE? REALLY? I NEVER DID? because everyone acts like im too young to feel that kinda pain#oh youre hurting? just wait until youre older#and its currently agony to breathe again but that i guess is also my fault bc im trying to use pain meds#holy moly i just want to not get dizzy standing up cause wow dang#sure would be nice if the multiple incisions in my stomach didnt THROB every time i sneezed or coughed or cleared my throat#but since i didnt use much pain meds before because i would be mocked for being too much of a baby its like#welp damn now i could really use some and im being called out for being too reliant#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain#im literally smaller than most children and so i do understand my body size makes people worried about the medication intake#but can i please just go a day without being asked how much im taking or when i last took it or if im gonna cry#anyway sorry for the excessive rant today never really had surgery or anything so this is brand spankin new suffering
51 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think we need at least one more bnha x dc crossover in a fusion AU way with bad parent Bruce just so we can have Trained Assassin Teen Jason go to UA in a rehab way (because I doubt bnha proheroes are really against killing in certain cases and Jason would flip that shitty distopia from inside out if given the chance, which he should have) and Stain go after Bruce's ass.
Outside Jason's interrogatory room:
Random diplomat: —and so we decided to consult with yourself, since this is... an exceptional case.
Nedzu: I knew there would be trouble to decide a punishment for the Red Hood, but I wonder what makes everyone so uncomfortable.
Random diplomat, who I'm going to call Jeff: Well, that's— why don't you take a look at him for yourself? *Activates one way mirror function*
Jason, a literal teen: *bored out of his mind, spinning in a swivel chair*
Nedzu, not a human but also in charge of a whole full school of teens: Ah. He's younger than I expected. Though that explains a lot of things.
Jeff: It does?
Nedzu: The decision of making Batman face the Joker to force him to kill him, despite his well known irrational protest against killing in all cases, instead of killing him himself makes more sense coming from a traumatized teenager in seek of safety and certainty.
Jeff: I see. Anyways, his age is one of the three reasons why it's nearly impossible for us to come to a conclusion.
Nedzu: Having in count his young age, I assume his life circumstances is other?
Jeff: Yes. The kid was interrogated by an agent with a range truth-type quirk before and— He was murdered. And resurrected, violently. Then spent a year or so under tha care of assassins.
Nedzu, smiling wide: Oho. So that's the reason.
Jeff: For his last antic, yes. Knowing this, it's hard to judge him because no one has gone under similar events before. Specially because his previous life wasn't exactly a normal one either.
Nedzu: By the way, what is the other reason?
Jeff: ...his fans would burn us alive if they discover we put him, a traumatized teen who almost got killed by his father, in prison for killing people who— under any working system— should end in life sentence or penal death.
["Sir, the crowd outside doubled its size."
"Again Ramírez? This is the third time already!"
"There's nothing I can do bout it. They aren't doing anything illegal."
"Anf onef ovf them gahve me a muffin."
"Johansson! Not eating during guard duty."
"He didn't have breakfast, sir."]
Nedzu: So that's the real reason.
Nedzu, already taking the legal papers: If we agree in a few things, then I'm willing to have him in UA to rehabilitate him.
Jeff: Of course.
Aizawa: *enters to Nedzu's office*
Tsukauchi, Jason and Nedzu already there: *turns heads to him at the same time*
Aizawa, a single father of twenty children: Oh no. What did they do now?
Tsukauchi: As far as I know, nothing yet this time.
Nedzu: Aizawa, take a seat. This is Jason, he's going to be part of your class starting today.
Aizawa: Isn't him a bit old?
Jason who has never been normal for a single day in his life: Apparently, I'm seventeen...ish. You should have seen me a week ago. I looked like 19 years old.
Tsukauchi: The doctor said it could be good for him if he could look at himself and see his real age, so recovery girl made a call.
Jason: It was a therapist. I've never had one of those before. And oh boy, wasn't she right? I only jumpscared myself twice this week.
Aizawa, already resigned to parent this kid: Hahhhhh.
Todoroki, going downstairs after a nightmare: *stops*
Jason, in the middle of a stress-baking session: *looks at him dead in the eyes while whisking cream*
Tokoyami, sitting in the dark for no reason: Revelry in the dark.
Jason, finishing yet another cake: More like a feast. Black forest, you two?
Todoroki: Sure.
Dark Shadow: Me three.
Aizawa: Class, due to recent events, you will have a new classmate joining you.
Jason: Sup.
Aizawa: This is Jason. He is—
Todoroki: An excellent chef. Thanks for the cake.
Aizawa, too used to their bs: —technically a criminal. But there were extreme circumstances and the global government agreed to let him free and give him a hero license if he graduates from Nedzu's hellish rehab program. Good luck.
Jason: Meh. Can't be worse than digging myself out.
The whole class: Hiiiih—
Aizawa: I was talking to them. They have a terrible low terror resistance and you can traumatize anyone who talks with you for more than ten minutes.
By the way, in this AU Jason has a healing quirk. Because he deserves it and I like it how it goes with his name. Plus, the angst of baby Jay trying to heal his mom even after she had already died and it's only her corpse.
I was thinking it seemed like a normal healing quirk, but after he dies, resurrect and is thrown into the pit it evolves. As time pass, Jason finds more and more phoenix resembling features in his quirk.
#jason todd#bnha x dc crossover#aizawa shouta#nedzu#todoroki shouto#fumikage tokoyami#they're friends now#this started because i want stain to go after bruce so bad#jason's legal guardian is tsukauchi because they let him choose#the options were some of the pros involved in his case one of the medics and tsukauchi#and he went with tsukauchi bc his quirk can tell if he's lying or saying the truth#so he will believe him if something happened#plus tsukauchi is chill and won't call him out unless is a serious matter#naomasa tsukauchi
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
to put a long story short: at the end of ffxiv's base game, literally Directly before the beginning of its first expansion (heavensward), there is a series of quests and story arcs that eventually snowball into an hour-long cutscene in which the entire thing comes to a head in the literal worst way possible. like, "the hero's plans all go horribly wrong and several major characters die onscreen, with others going missing (presumed dead), eventually culminating in the player character being framed for the murder of the leader of a nation-state and being Literally Forced To Flee The Country" wrong.
heavensward leads directly on from this plotline. you arrive at the major location of the expansion in the midst of seeking asylum whilst being a wanted criminal everywhere else in the world right now. it's like. A Whole Thing. the game makes such a big deal out of it all. the fandom does as well. and for good reason!! it's a really good moment!!!!!!
and then roughly 1/3rds of the way into heavensward you find out that literally none of it mattered. nobody important actually died, no changes were actually made to the status quo, and nothing comes of being literally kicked out of the country for (what is implied to be) several in-universe weeks, if not months. None Of It Mattered. None.
TLDR; the bloody banquet is a major, exciting, and very infamous twist that seems like it's going to segway into a MAJOR upheaval of the status quo and some really intriguing ramifications for the story as a whole... and then heavensward does away with literally all of that and practically writes the entire thing off as a waste of time.
you may be able to see why i'm so salty about it.
#also worth noting that the nation-state leader (who's death was The one you were framed for)#was assassinated specifically because she was trying to reform her country's merchantile incredibly corrupt leadership system#into a more bearable democracy that would give voice to the people instead of the greedy scumbags currently in power#one of the members of the syndicate (a group of rich people who at this point have more power than the sultana- her)#tried to kill her bc. well. obviously reformation would mean they wouldnt be in control anymore.#and so her supposed death is the big crux of the bloody banquet#and then. THEN. heavensward goes OUT OF ITS WAY to reveal she is not only ALIVE AND PERFECTLY FINE#(she got drugged with the classic fantasy eternal sleep that looks like death medication)#but that her plan for reformation was ACTIVELY STUPID. she DOESN'T GET TO DO IT. NOTHING ABOUT THE STATE OF UL'DAH CHANGES#THE GAME JUST TELLS YOU BETTER GUYS ARE IN CHARGE NOW AND EXPECTS YOU TO BE FINE WITH THAT?#AS THOUGH THE ORIGINAL PLAN TO CHANGE THE SYSTEM ENTIRELY WAS THE FLAWED PART OF THIS EQUATION?#god. i hate it so much. if you're not gonna change the status quo at least have the balls to kill off a character for christ's sake#i can rant abt it all day. it's just such a travesty on every level#yin-thoughts#ffxiv#also for the record ''bloody banquet'' is a fan term. the whole thing isnt called anything in-universe iirc#it's just a catchy title for an infamous sequence wherein people die at a banquet. you know how it be#it's just. god. something about it is just so utterly vile. the game all but looks nanamo (and to some extent the player) in the eyes#and goes How Dare You Try And Change The System. You're Stupid For Thinking This Could Work.#it feels so disingenuous and mean spirited and now the entire thing just leaves the worst possible taste in my mouth#and it SUCKS. because the bloody banquet scene itself is INCREDIBLE. but the way the game handles it after it happens is just#so bad!! it's so bad!!!! aughhhh it's so so so so so bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!#the ffxiv writers are so in love with preserving the norm and so terrified of changing it up and/or killing off established characters#ive ranted abt it before and knowing myself i'll rant about it many a time again. it just sucks man#ffxiv crit
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
adhd advice will be like people with adhd struggle to get their thoughts organised. also to get diagnosed you need to get your thoughts on why you have adhd organised in advance in order to convince the doctor you have it
#sorry for the vent incoming but#both my sister (who is diagnosed with adhd and autism) and my mother have been saying they think i might be adhd for like a year now#and like thatd be cool bc adhd can be medicated right? so maybe i can get help with my disaster life after all#except the problem is every time i think about the task of calling the doctor i get overwhelmed and cant#unfortunately asking my family for a list of why they think i'm adhd is not helpful bc theyre always like#“idk just whenever we talk about [sister]'s adhd i think how it sounds like we're describing you” & then none of them can give me an exampl#all ive come up with myself if when i was a kid i remember i was either quiet or so chatty that i forget the other person needs to speak#or like i'd try to join in a conversation and many times people would say like 'thats not really related to what we're talking about'#i no longer and super chatty bc i learned fo shut the fuck up pretty quick or you get made fun of but yeah.#i also forget things but i'm also very good at writing them down bc i know i'll forget and make people annoyed if i dont#so like idk if that counts like i feel like in my life ive been forced to learn how to cope and fit in so its like#is it adhd and i'm masking or is it not#like this is always the problem when i seek professional help they find out i can do hard stuff and they say you seem like you're okay#but like. hard stuff i can do is still hard. is everything supposed to feel this hard then? i hope not#vent#anyway other points are my thoughts keep me awake at night (its like loud jumbled thoughts of tv quotes and music and conversations ive had#and also obviously i struggle to make appointments. and i get distracted when i'm doing something boring even if i remove distractions#from my sight bc if i have no distractions i just start daydreaming. is this anything#this post itself is distracting me from work#i also connot make connections with 99% of people i meet socialising is so hard for me#maybe i should just send this tumblr vent to my doctor and see if it gets me a referral would that work
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed
#marzi speaks#marzivents#hi folks. i haven’t been making much art lately. apologies! i want to be#unfortunately shit is Stressful in both my little world (i’m starting to get overwhelmed with my meds and refills and driving)#and on a broader more societal scale (if trump gets re-elected shit is going to go so fucking bad oh my god)#PLUS we’re in the It Gets Dark At 6PM Zone now#i think i’ve lowkey been catastrophizing a bit with all that’s been going on#i should probs look into those psych referrals my doctor gave me#she offered them bc the almost-dying earlier this year was Traumatic and i was showing signs of anxiety/depression#but i think they’ll just be helpful in general#god though i hate being on prescriptions. it feels like there’s a constant timer hanging over my head#refill these pills before this time so you don’t have to miss a day. woops! the pharmacy’s out of stock on this one#so you’ll have to come back at another less convenient time. fail to do so and the medication goes on hold#which requires a phone call where you speak to a Robot that may not understand the nuances of ur situation#grrrgh it sucks so bad. thankfully i refilled my prednisone the other day and have like 3 months’ worth now#and that’s the one i really can’t afford to miss bc steroid withdrawals could really fuck me up#but uggghhh i hate it. so much. bc it looms over me always#i hate keeping track of when i’ve taken my pills too. i keep a checklist for every day#so i remember what i have to take and if i’ve taken it#but god it sucks. i’m at the point where it’s basically routine now so i do it automatically#but i know if i stop monitoring i’m gonna forget if i’ve taken my steroid one day#and either double dose or skip the day. and that’ll fuck me up pretty good#anyways. hoping hoping hoping this election goes well bc idk if i can take it if our country tis of thee elects the fucking fascist#this one’s fine to rb. i think many of us share this sentiment lmao
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
Today I offer you a crossover of my two current hyperfixations, FNAF and TF2
Glamrock animatronic Tf2 Medic yayyy :D (Mf looks like grown up balloon boy-)
Different versions I tried out before landing on the final ver:
Ref
#tf2#team fortress two#my art#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf sb#fnaf security breach#fnaf glamrock animatronics#concept art#tf2 au#tf2 medic#might make the rest of the team tbh#I also had some game mechanic ideas for this guy!!#idrk much but since he has wheels he is FAST so in order for you to NOT DIE for the rest of the night you have to pop of his wheels#if you pop one- not only is he considerably slower#but he will also make a lot more noise with his limping- alerting you of his presence beforehand#if you pop both- for one that is very mean- but on the other hand now he is basically incapacitated#he will still maybe crawl around to catch you (like monty) but otherwise he can barely do anything to catch you#BUT there is also an off chance that he will call for help with his sirens >:)) and a duo is a lot more dangerous than a single medic#anyways#tw scopophobia#tw staring
63 notes
·
View notes
Text
( alright so. i spent ~72hrs in the ER but i was actually able to go home cuz my psychiatrist offered to help me get my meds stabilized. but in the meantime i'm gonna be home w my parents away from my apartment and probably gonna have to apply for medical leave through my school. and i can already smell just how much it'll suck to go through that process. but i'm here, i'm okay and i just want to be okay. thanks for being patient with me <3 )
#tw: medical#( i have to be super diligent during this time too & remember it's more about healing than school )#( bc after what happened it honestly can wait )#( even if most of it was my fault for not taking my damn meds )#( & like. i'm a lil unsure of how to feel abt how my supervisor responded )#( i called him thinking it was the responsible thing to do but he was like 'nah the school gotta talk to u first b4 u tell me' )#( which like. i get it. but as i said i thought it was the responsible thing to do as your student )#( anyways. enough about that. i have to get my mind on my goal NOW. )#( which is to get to a more medically stable place with my meds so i'm comfy doing school )#( i was also diagnosed w an adjustment disorder which?? i was like ????? at first )#( but during my 3.5 hr drive i thought about it and i kinda came to like a 'nah this kinda makes sense' stance )#( anyways imma stop rambling now but jsyk i'm here even if i'm not super active this next week <3 )#⠀ ⠀ ♥︎ ⠀ ⠀ 𝒏𝒐𝒂𝒉 𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒆𝒔 ⠀ ⠀ ╱ ⠀ ⠀ out of character.
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
oooh blast from the past, i drew this of omalia and torelai in 2019... its wild how much my art has changed...
#old art#yew art#fantasy ocs#omalia#torelai#also sorry for no new drawings. i fainted and fell and broke my spine. so i have been laying around recovering#i cant really do Anything rn... and even if i was physically capable it turns out when you break your spine#you get prescribed very strong pain medication#so on top of physical inability to do anything. im also very Brain Weird and cant do anything haha#but god i hope i can draw again soon i have IDEAS#i want to draw my ocs SO BAD#especially omalia and torelai... i want to draw them being sweet and snuggly...#and i also have an art trade i arranged shortly before my spine decided on violence#which i want to finish SO BADDDD their ocs are so damn cool#theyre extremely patient about everything health wise tho which i appreciate so much...#theyre an amazing artist who i look up to in art style a lot so im super flattered that they like my art enough to do a trade :'}#but yeah im like completely physically incapable of doing Anything rn :( my health is in shambles#in fact right now im about to call my brother and wake him up because... my glasses and charger are on the floor#and i can not reach them.#feeling a little silly that thats a problem in my life and i cant even get my glasses by myself... but oh well#health issues will do that sort of thing. best to just try not to feel ashamed of needing help#LMAO THOUGH this is SUCH a ramble. if you read this far thank you i appreciate you#and there will be new art... Eventually... i wanna draw so damn bad...
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
BOLD THE FACTS ft Valerie Powell
→ Tagged by the wonderful @corpocyborg--Thank you so much! ♡♡♡ → Answers are based on her status during the in-game events
✧˖°. PERSONAL
$ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty
✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non-applicable / would be in great shape if not for the brain worm
✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other
✔ Education: qualified/ unqualified / studying / other
✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / commits more crimes (bribes law enforcement) to avoid charges / yes, but charges were dismissed
✧˖°. FAMILY
◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children
◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased
◔ Affiliation: orphaned / abandoned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable
✧˖°. TRAITS + TENDENCIES
♦ extroverted / introverted / in-between
♦ disorganized / organized / in-between
♦ close-minded / open-minded / in-between
♦ calm / anxious / in-between / highly contextual
♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in-between
♦ cautious / reckless / in-between / highly contextual
♦ patient / impatient / in-between
♦ outspoken / reserved / in-between / highly contextual
♦ leader / follower / in-between
♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in-between
♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in-between
♦ traditional / modern / in-between
♦ hard-working / lazy / in-between
♦ cultured / uncultured / in-between / unknown
♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown
♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown
✧˖°. BELIEFS
★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic
☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking
✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know/ don’t care / in a manner of speaking
✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care / in a manner of speaking
❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care
✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious
❀ Philosophical: yes / no / highly contextual
✧˖°. SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION
❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual
❥ Sex: sex-repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless
♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious
❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious
⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all
⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all
✧˖°. ABILITIES
☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor/ none
≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none
✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none
✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none
✧˖°. HABITS
☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic / former borderline alcoholic turned sober
☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker
✿ Recreational Drugs: tried some / never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict
✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess
☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater
$ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic
♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gamble
Tagging: @medtech-mara, @vayneoc, @themermaidriot, @itzsassha, @elfjpeg, @morganlefaye79, and @vox-monstera ♡
dividers by @saradika | masterlist here (awesome resource--thank you so much! ♡)
#oc: valerie v powell#g: cyberpunk 2077#gotta ramble some now:#i wasn't really sure how to characterize her finances during 2077#like she's not destitute but it's definitely not great#gig paycheck to paycheck sorta sitch#and she had a rich kid education#so lots of private tutors and travel experience#and she likes to read a lot#but she doesn't hold any fancy degrees or certificates#and both her parents have been deceased for 14+ years (if i remember my own timeline) by 2077#and she's introverted but she's an isfj so like the most social of the introverts#she's inclined towards caution but she can be swayed into reckless decisions if the right person (jenkins; jackie; arguably goro) asks#i feel like 'sex favorable' might undersell her libido a bit tbh lmao#combat and tech skills might get some tweaks post-2.0 depending on what build i end up rolling with#currently i see as her as VERY VERY good with firearms but less so with melee and blades#i think she's really sexy holding a katana tho and the ninja build or whatever they're calling it looks fun af#she was a work hard; play harder corpo party girl in her early 20s and did everything under the sun#but her mother died as a result of her addiction which *eventually* made valerie choose a totally sober life#and the medication is actually used for proper medical reasons not recreational#long post#misc: dash games
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
This will probably get looks from performative and ultimately harmful non-transfems despite my being transfem but-
Some y'alls only interaction with feminist history and theories, radical feminism regardless of its intersectionality and really any feminism deeper and louder and meaner than blatant choice feminism like the barbie movie and whatever TF taylor swift thinks shes got going on is through your occasional and short interactions with terfs and it shows. You call vagina art terfy and it fucking isnt. Its feminist art. Your brainrot is making you a fucking mra. The fact y'all think talking about the man vs bear situation is about/started/ran by terfs (and encouraged some really questionable other transfems shitting on it despite it clearly just being about women's safety and yes all men, not transphobia.), everything from questioning wether certain groups belong in our community to thinking a word is a slur or having a lesbian icon (I have sources don't test me) or not to not liking a certain band has been called "terf rhetoric". I'm all for us Transmascs talking about how terfs affect us cause they absolutely do and their harm to the transmasc community can not be understated but like.... Y'all are not allowed to call Jack shit terf rhetoric anymore. Like nothing. You don't know what it means, you litterally call transmedicalism and sysmedicalism terf rhetoric. Do you mean exclusionist? Say exclusionist. Terfs are not the end all be all hate group. They have a very specific complex mindset that affects so many people in specific ways. Someone hating Neopronouns is not fucking terf rhetoric. It's nbphobia. Holy fuck. Learn what words mean.
(intersectional trans radfems exist, radical feminism isn't terfs and swerfs and historical radfems would laugh in their faces for their idiocy)
#clover speaks#clover vents#hating bi lesbians is not terf rhetoric vagina art is not terf rhetoric medical sexism is not a terf topic#everytime you call some form or bigotry or some form of deep cut feminism you dont know shit about terf rhetoric#another trans person loses their wings#terfs harm people via certain avenues in specific ways#you've turned it into a fucking meaningless buzzword to decribe everything from opinions you dont like to actual bigotry#its basically gotten the exclusionist radical regressive gatekeep gaslight terreatmemt#words that mean very specific real things but gets so overused it means fuck all now#if your explanation for why something is supposed terf rhetoric is just something something splitting the community#something something exclusionary something something heard one say it once then you dont have the authority to fucking talk about it#I've been in the trenches fighting terfs and learning about their veiws and mindsets to accurately fight and rehabilite them#the hell they've actively put me and many other trans people through can not be understated#one called you a name one sent you a hate anon and sudeenly your the master of knowledge? gtfo#the specifics and deep rooted hate and history of that group is serious and every time you call some fucking#meaningless community discourse about if some inane insult is a slur like stupid or freak and call it terf rhetoric#you give terfs more fog to hide in you obscure the enemy that much more#you make it harder to find real actual terfs and their nazi friends when you call a fucking antikin a terf for being antikin#stop comparing other groups to terfs and heres a quick ajd easy way to identify if something is actually fucking terf rhetoric#dose the topic specifically talk about terfs or terfism or transmysogny/transandrophobia in the context of exclusionary radical feminism?#if the answer is yes then their might KEY WORD MIGHT be terf rhetoric involved.#if the answer is no then its not fucking terf rhetoric plain and fucking simple#find another buzzword milo because transmedicalism by definition cant BE FUCKING TRANS EXCLUSIONARY RADICAL FEMINIST RHETORIC#God this fucking community sometimes is so fucking exhausting#reminding me yet again that its mostly young and mostly people who lose their minds when i bring up terfs and racism#and yes you perisex afab trans person who thinks this isnt about you and the random shit youve false flagged as terfy#this is about you and your misusage of a serious allegation and association to falsely claim some terminally online take is terfy#You just make me hold my head in my hands and sigh really loud and try not to send you to the shadow realm#Not everything an alleged terf believes makes something terfism or terfy#please actually learn what words mean before you use them and make an ass of yourself called some tranfem exclusionist a fucking terf psyop
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
body is experiencing a thing (non life threatening, just annoying) and I wanna go to a doctor about it but also not because I don't wanna be told all I gotta do to feel better is lose weight
#I've heard it every single fucking time I've been to a doctor#even before i was like. actually fat#and it's so ANNOYING#the only time i had someone actually look at me and not just my weight was the counselor who got me in touch with a social worker#that was probably the best thing that's happened to me since i moved to BC#i have been too scared to look into anything medical since because now that I'm actually fat. it's gonna be the first thing brought up#and they won't actually listen#and idk if i can handle that anymore#i know what's wrong with me isn't just a weight thing#most of whats wrong with my body is just stuff I've been dealing with for years#even before i got more fluff#i just wasn't allowed to seek medical attention for any of it because my mom couldn't be bothered#she used to call me a hypochondriac all the time#ugh...#vent
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
fuck me ig
#right so my pharmacy gets pissy if i try to refill too early#so i waited till the day of to call it in#but now they need to get stuff from my doctor and recommended i call my doctor#so i did that.#and they said it can take up to three days for them to approve a refill.#is it. not just hitting a button???#just ''yeah we're fine w a refill bc this person has been on these medications''?? why three days
10 notes
·
View notes