#so exhausted w myself

[sttoru]

cw vent 🧍‍♀️

idk what it is but i literally ruin every single possible friendship i have w someone . never ever have i not been the reason for falling out w someone lewlll im gettin frustrated w mysef at this point. i either can’t keep a convo going, which ends up in them giving up and not talking to me, or its me ghosting them bcs idk how to respond to their messages???

sometimes i b saying sensitive stuff on impulse (with no tone indicators whatsover) thinking the other person will automatically sense my intentions behind the text when its not the case & they can easily interpret it in multiple ways than like i did intentionally 🧍🏽‍♀️then it gets awkward and boom there goes another (possible) friendship

or when i respond dryly or ‘passive aggressively’ WITH NO intention to come across as so . bcs i usually type in caps & idk — very excitedly (ex. replying to a question in multiple msgs instead of 1 text) so when i respond shortly like ‘okok’ to someone, they will always easily interpret it as me being mad at them or me being dry and not wanting to continue the convo when I RLLY just eithergot distracted or i rlly didnt know what to respond

then there’s me stressingand having literal mental breakdowns when someone i text responds in a different tone than usual. like they’d respond in a dry or serious way and im instantly crying and being anxious thinking that they hate me or are annoyed by me . i react to this by either ghosting them to avoid rejection or confrontation or straight up ask ‘did i annoy you’ (which i always do and it can get exhausting for the other person, thus how some of my friendships end bcs ppl couldnt stand being questioned by me abt clarification on their tone lol)

or when i leave ppl before they can leave me / ghost them before they can ghost me. . . LITERALLY MAIN REASON FR ME HAVING NO FRIENDS

ITS SO STRESSFUL i always tell myself that m okay with no friends, but then when i actually have zero friends bcs of my kinda ‘anti-social’ attitude i break down?? like?? what did u expect ma’am….

bashing my head into a wall at this point

[hinamie]

9 / 266

[nonomikun]

happy valentines day! :D

i was thinking about either redrawing my old work or making something new...but just ended up exploiting my old idea XD

the lyrics are from unreleased dallon weekes song "valentine"

( o˘◡˘o) reblogs appreciated!

[ezlo-x]

Also sorry i havent been drawing much lately 😭

[saetoru]

with no disrespect fem doesnt equal she/her tho it would be easier to just say reader uses she/her

bro she’s fem! bc i said she’s fem! like fr y’all nitpick over everything. reader was referred to as suguru’s “sister” and used “she/her” pronouns and had a pussy like that’s very fem to me thanks !!

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

[glowingsand]

quick sketch before sleepy time :3

[alienaiver]

doctor prescriped me some new meds to help w pots. excited to see if they work!!! im picking them up tmrw

[chiimeramanticore]

waow

[ef-1]

draw on me like one of your French girls

[stardial]

You're super cool and if they don't have a crush on you that's their loss. You deserve someone who is endlessly grateful to spend time with you. Someone who's desperate to be with you. Accepting anything less than that is beneath you

WELL. idk i’m actually fine w most ppl not crushing on me? i can get all these things out of a rly nice friendship too <3 i’m specifically hoping this One person is crushing on me because they’re incredibly fun to flirt with

[hinamie]

completely innocuous vash sheet :) fr practice

[microknifeyuri]

uh. vent art. or something. losing yourself and losing everyone who you cared about as a result

[the-acid-pear]

God can you imagine how hard it'd be for new phoneheads to adapt to their dimensions. Like it already hurts all over and now you gotta accommodate to this new head trying not to bump it against anything and trying not to get the cord tangled on shit... I know my ass could not make it.

[fenriael]

Sirnith Haar-Blade, a pirate of Maormer and Altmer heritage (haar: a cold sea fog). A captain who went down with his ship in a terrible storm, but instead of drowning he fell into the inky depths of the Abyssal Seas, and wound up in Apocrypha, where he learnt to master the powers of the realm.

[arthurmargon]

i know we’re shifting into springtime but climate anxiety has me genuinely unsettled and nervous abt the temperature not being freezing anymore 😭 like i let out a big sigh of relief when i saw the forecast predicting snow this weekend as if i was seeing a negative pregnancy test. this is all almost exclusively ronald reagan’s fault i will not expand upon that