#so even when i try i cant do escapism through art

[simsfromupthere]

opening The Sims 4 after updating my mods, immediately being hit with a "your computer may not have space to run the game smoothly" or w/e, trying to at least use CAS, even though my UI is still broke, watching the screen freeze for up to 20+ minutes on the same frozen screen only for the game to immediately crash

[literaila]

hey v ! what about peter and reader getting ready to go somewhere and after reader puts on some red lipstick peter can't stop kissing her ?

lipstick

warnings: ugh, peter

*

“how many times have you done that?”

peter is standing behind you, leaning against the wall, probably ruining your focus, or your makeup, or your sanity. he’s probably staring just to mess with you.

you refrain from smiling in the mirror. wipe a smudge with your nail. “i don’t know, peter,” you meet his eyes, and his nefarious smirk. “how many times have you watched me do it?”

“i got lost somewhere around the first time.”

you laugh at him, crumbling the napkin you’ve been using, now filled with kiss marks, and turning it around so you can throw it at peter. “are you sick?” you ask him.

instead of answering, he licks his lip and unfolds the napkin, staring at the red marks, creases and tireless efforts arranged in a messy pattern. “this is like art.”

“why are you acting like you’ve never seen anyone wear lipstick before?”

“what?” he asks, hand to his chest. “i cant watch you get ready? i’m banned from being in the bathroom when you are?”

“yes, and yes.”

it does not escape your notice when peter tucks the napkin into his pocket for safekeeping.

he shrugs. “i don’t mind breaking the rules.”

you scoff at him and pat his shoulder as you walk past him through the doorway. “i would’ve locked you out if i knew you were going to be weird about it.”

“weird? how am i being weird?”

“you were lurking. you’re still lurking.”

“i’m talking to my girlfriend. that’s part of our contract.”

“you’re following me.”

peter smiles. “well, i like you.”

you roll your eyes, almost—almost—smiling when you feel his arms wrap around your waist. “please don’t make me argue about your stalker like tendencies.”

“we don’t have to argue,” peter says, kissing the space beneath your ear. his breath is hot.

“i need to put my shoes on, peter.”

he smiles, his teeth clashing against your skin like a dreadful reminder. some type of jumpscare—minus the fact that you merely lean into him, sans jumping. “we can spare fifteen minutes.”

“how can you be thinking about anything besides the fact that we’re already late to meet may?”

he nibbles on the skin by your collarbone, then licks it, as reprieve. “it must be the lipstick.”

“you’ve literally seen me with lipstick before. i wore some on our first date.”

“‘s probably why i like it so much.”

his lips are needy as they crawl around your skin. his hands are stationary, but they pose their own threat as they lurk.

“peter, we have to go.”

“i’m not known for my punctuality,” he spins you around, his lips curled in mischief, “you know.”

“i’m aware.”

you refuse to indulge him. your brows furrow, your hands held in the air—just so you can avoid accidentally touching him. purposefully.

“then why are you so worried?” peter asks, kissing your cheek.

“i’m not kissing you,” you say, instead of answering.

“you’re not?” peter pouts like a child. he is far too grown.

“no.”

“how come?”

you try to pull away from him, but, shockingly, peter is stronger than you are. your will is weak. “you’re going to smudge my lipstick. i just finished.”

“you have more, don’t you?”

“not the point.”

“what?” he asks, his voice so serious and teasing. “you don’t want to kiss me?”

“no, i do not.”

you look away from him, admiring a wall that has always been there.

“are you sure?” peter asks, ducking so he can catch your eyes again, because he is nothing if not cruel.

you break, pouting. “peter,” you whine, “we’re not going to be late again.”

“i think we are.”

“you can kiss me when we get home later,” you promise, trying again to wiggle out of his grasp.

“that is a terrible compromise.”

“you won’t compromise,” you snap back. “what else am i supposed to do?”

peter grins, tilting his head. “okay. i have an idea. how about i kiss you, and then we leave? you don’t even have to kiss back, even though we’d both prefer it that way.”

“i’ll kiss you,” you mock him. “you’re the worst negotiator i’ve ever met.”

“then how come we haven’t left yet?”

you scowl at him, and he scowls back, but his eyes are alight.

your skin is ravenous with an ache to touch him, he’s so close that kissing him would be nothing—merely breathing, really—but you don’t want to lose this game to peter. and you dont want him to stop looking at you.

he pretends to check a watch. “hmm, it’s getting awfully late.”

“are you british all of the sudden?”

peter grins, biting his lip before he tries to bite you. you lean away. “if you like my accent, all you have to do is say so.”

“i like it when you get out of my way, and stop trying to sabotage me. i like that a lot.”

“no clue what you mean, dear.”

you roll your eyes and manage to cross your arms in his hold.

“i wonder how we could solve this,” peter muses, tapping his finger on your waist. “it’s a big problem.”

“i could leave you behind and have lunch with may myself.”

“that’s one option.”

you roll your eyes again.

“i was thinking something else, though,” peter says, and he’s closer now, but you’re sure that you never saw him move. “something more… proactive.”

“shove it, peter.”

“you don’t even want to hear it?”

you sigh, leaning your chest into him, out of pure delusion. “fine. what?”

peter smiles at you, eyes catching eyes.

the look on his face is soft, delirious. he’s got that look in his eyes, and that smile on his face, and he’s still staring at you like he’s mesmerized by whatever you’re doing.

“what?” you repeat, but softly, like you can’t find your voice in the chest cavity peters taken hold of.

“kiss me,” he says, softly, and it’s really not your fault that his lips are already brushing yours.

and it’s not your fault when you lean in, sighing in relief at the mere feel of him.

you’re almost breathless, from the tiniest of kisses.

but then you kiss peter again, and again, and your hands finally wrap around him—keeping hold of something real in this fake reality—and your voice isn’t your own when you groan at peter for making you do this.

you have evacuated your body. you have lost common sense.

but it doesn’t matter, because kissing peter has always made you forget all of that.

and it still does, when he pulls back, grinning like he’s won. “see?” he says, voice ragged. “it was simple.”

“we’re going to be late and it’s your fault.”

peter laughs, kissing you again, staring at your red lips. “gladly. i’ll take all the blame.”

“and you’re making it up to me later.”

“whatever you say,” he murmurs, thumb brushing your bottom lip.

he releases you and watches as you finally put on your shoes.

you don’t think it necessary to mention the red marks on his lips. it’s not like it’s your fault they’re there.

*

[scaranation]

༊*·˚ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒’ 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐈𝐓

header art by @/kkaags on twitter

Pairing: chess captain!Ayato x reader

Content: fluff, headcannons, modern high school au, ayato is slightly a red flag on this one

You joined the chess club as a newcomer to the game, where Ayato introduces himself as a fellow beginner. You think he's just terrible at chess - after all, how could he lose to you so often? However, as time goes on, you begin to question if you're the one who's been playing into his hands all this time...

a/n - was just rereading ayato lore and remembered he plays chess, so i wanted to write about him doing it in a modern chess setting where he's absolutely whipped for the reader 😭 i cant stop writing about desperate genshin men im so sorry

chess captain!ayato, who’s been harbouring a small crush on you ever since you stepped foot in campus. despite taking different classes, you’d always be the centre of his attention, even if you rarely interacted with him.

chess captain!ayato, who’s elated to see you join the club. the moment you confess to being a beginner, he flashed you a smile before asserting that he, too, was new to the game.

chess captain!ayato, who revelled in the gleeful look on your face whenever you won a game against him. he’d take care to fumble right into your victory each time, just to feel his heart flutter when you smiled.

chess captain!ayato, who’d play exactly as you wanted when you tried book moves for the first time. oh, you were attempting a scholar’s mate? he’d ‘accidentally’ fall right into the trap, feigning shock as you smugly pushed your queen to F7.

chess captain!ayato, who ignored the incredulous looks everyone else shot him when he blundered his way through every game with you. as a highly accomplished player - winning all the tournaments he competed in - it certainly was a sight to see the kamisato ayato open with pawn to H4.

chess captain!ayato, who would only play at his true level when you weren’t looking. his favourite hobby was to push the worst move possible and watch your thinly veiled happiness as you won yet again, pretending to be annoyed when you teased him for his ‘stupidity’.

chess captain!ayato, who would leave ayaka to run the club as his vice captain whenever he was busy in a game with you. he enjoyed the expression on your face as you thought, the light twitching of your lips to murmur ghostly syllables to yourself. he liked to imagine how those lips would feel on his.

chess captain!ayato, who would desperately try to prevent you from realising he wasn’t exactly as bad as you thought he was. when you were talking to your friends about how absolutely hopeless he was at chess, he’d shoot them a silencing look to staunch their shocked expressions. if you tried to look up previous records from tournaments, you’d somehow find yourself in conversation with him and forget about what you were doing entirely.

chess captain!ayato, who’d nod eagerly and let you ‘coach’ him in chess. he’d smile so delicately as you bid him good luck before a tournament, whilst everyone else idly wondered why on earth the feared ayato would need help to be reminded of piece value.

chess captain!ayato, who’d be too immersed to notice you if you walked in on him playing a proper game. you’d be stunned at the way his fingers gracefully snapped the pieces into position without hesitation, the subtle clink of lacquered wood against the board reasonating through the room as he claimed piece after piece. he was nothing like the foolish, impulsive player you’d versed countless other times.

chess captain!ayato, who’d study his opponents with an almost terrifying look of sheer calculation. his eyes would skim emotionlessly over the board, lithe hands almost flying between the pieces and the timer. occasionally, a cold smirk or two would escape - indicative of his incoming victory.

chess captain!ayato, who’d look so wounded when you found out - acting like you’d caught him cheating on your non-existent relationship. you’d only feel embarrassed at having thought you were better than this absolute menace of a player, whilst he apologised time and time again before (timidly) asking you to play one more round.

chess captain!ayato, who’d then offer to properly teach you outside of school hours. of course, he didn’t view them as tutoring sessions - he saw them as dates. or, perhaps, just opportunities for him to admire your face until he reached the stage of his plan where he could ask you out, and you’d be too equally infatuated to refuse.

Checkmate.

༊*·˚

[metalheads-trash-bin]

!! MORE NOTES FOR TROLLS FANFIC WRITERS!!

These consist of observations, facts, and headcanons :)

Volcano Rock City

Riff & rock trolls:

Breathy giggle, shy almost

At college for musical theory/art

Immune to lava - see it like hot water

Change in music doesnt change where they were raised w - (Pink heart, but diff style)

Volcano rock city arenas lava is now rainbow to show all genres

High fives show harmony and connection

Daycare in pop village - poppy teaches them the history of the whole world tour situation w barb as a guest

Riff uses air drums w drumsticks to dance w head bobbing when just chill dancing

Hard dancing is ofc what you think it is

Riff has three siblings, hes the favorite sibling since hes the baby. He spends time with his mom. He has two sisters and one brother. The brother is the eldest.

Food item: Fiber energy juice boxes

Barbs full name is Barbara

Creek notes:

Creek being creek “a little positivity would go well with that vest.”

Gets grabbed by chef

Chef forces creek into king gristles mouth

Creek figures out how to prevent himself being killed, calling out and gristle spitting him out. Creek begs for his life.

He strikes up a deal with chef. Through that hes taken out of the amulet for good.

Chef catches the snack pack, putting them back into the cage.

Chef pulls out creek, and they have the whole strangle moment.

Creek tells them he sold out everyone, showing no remorse so they dont try rescuing him. He even says to her theres no other “not him getting eaten” way, and chef agrees.

Instead of poppy focusing on the kingdom she becomes empathetic towards Bridget, turning back after being let go and helping her out. Poppy explains to the bergens that theres other ways to be happy. Then demonstrates that.

The bergens believe her, having a happy ending where they realize they dont need to eat trolls.

Chef gets rocketed out on a grill, creek in her fanny pack. She tries to eat him, the creature below them waking up. They get eaten by said monster.

“If poppy had only listened to you, if she took you seriously..if we all did. This would’ve never happened. If she just focused on the kingdom and not saving me, you all could’ve escaped and ran off. Finding a new haven. I know in the end it was a good plan..and lead to good things. But..she didn’t know that, no one did. You all almost died.”

“I’m sorry I never took you seriously, I’m..so sorry branch.”

Mount Rageous- rage dome

Bruce canonically listens to true crime podcasts

Jds canon in the sad book club

Floyd had a canon solo career

Mount rageous has an adult area called “the bowl” under the clouds

Floyd worked there doing modeling, playboy esque. Alongside singing solos in bdsm clubs

Teens found out eventually as gossip is.

Scarring under JDs gloved hand

Branch cracks under pressure after introducing floyd to creek, spiraling in front of poppy and sobbing to her about his feelings on everything. She panics and tries problem solving, branch snapping and then them walking away. They came back to eachother the next day, talking it out and deciding health wise its best to just be friends. They became platonic soulmates to eachother like riff and barb, the separation and experience of being together bringing them closer anyhow. Being in different levels of life just, cant work long term.

Creek says things like “Mother Destiny” or “Mother” as his connection to the earth.

John Dorys first thing when the gang separated was neverglade trail

Johns killed someone, he followed them on a hike and tried bashing their head with a rock. The person had a self defense pocket knife because of the wild animals. They slashed his left hand, john trying to push them off a cliff (waterfall cliff). Person grips onto his jacket, pleading for their life and how they dont understand what they did to deserve this, hanging off the cliff only not falling because hes gripping onto johns jacket. Johns gripping the ground, reaching for a rock and smashing their eye until they let go. Person falls, not dying because the water wasnt shallow enough. He runs down with a hunting knife, stabbing the guy to death. This was his first kill, only doing it so he could eat as he was struggling.

Edit: BY EAT I MEAN GETTING MONEY AS HE WAS A HITMAN NOT A CANNIBAL AAAAGHHHHH

Doug is the lawyer jd’s acquainted with at the bowl since hes the only lawyer that handles other species disputes.

Jd loves fish, especially fish sandwiches.

Notes on trolls three and poppy:

poppy seems super pushy and non empathetic to branch, literally appearing as if she cant put herself in someone else’s shoes.

2. She consistently tests his comfort and boundaries. Even being manipulative in some instances to get him to do what she wants.

3: it seems like she was more interested in investing in JD and the mission because they’re BroZone, not because she cared about branch or his trauma.

4. Yes at sometimes she comforted him and convinced him to continue with the mission, but that doesn’t make up for her lack of empathy simply because she shows sympathy.

5. I understand being a huge fan of BroZone, but some of her behaviors absolutely cross the comfort of the members. JD kept the funderwears for memorabilia, not because of some scent thing. Yet poppy’s borderline lustful reaction implies she would’ve kept them for that reason.

6. Sometimes she still struggles to listen to him, projecting her familial issues onto him and saying how grateful he should be. She was so fixated on the facf she craves more from her family, that she couldn’t even fathom the fact someone wouldn’t like their family members or have a more complicated relationship.

These are all of course little things, but they can build up and they can cause long term built up issues. It’s saddening to see that even if they sorted out her not listening to him, she still has a lot she needs to fix. And Branch, especially after all of his trauma being forcibly resurfaced, most likely can’t handle all of her flaws she needs to work on.

These all were brought up to her when they separated, she didn’t react the best initially until a few days later when she finally gained some sort of empathy and guilt for her neglect towards my brother.

[frecklystars]

I'm sorry to make a vent post :c I hate being negative but I haven't been online in a couple of months and this kind of explains why + I really needed to let this out somewhere. TW for mentions of self harm and suicide mention, this vent post is a little bit heavy.

i havent been online for a couple of months now except one (1) time, and then i left again, just letting my queue post as always. my cptsd/depression/anxiety has been astronomical levels of Terrible. going offline just made me feel so so so much worse bc this is where i normally self ship and post my art. not blogging about my F/Os, not drawing them, not editing videos/not making gifs, feels... really really bad. self shipping is my main coping mechanism and not being able to self ship makes everything feel 50 billion times more hopeless. so I should try to get back into that habit again

its july. its gonna be my anniversary w/ the two F/Os who breathed life back into me when i was at my absolute worst. i should be really excited to celebrate an F/O anniversary for the first time in two years, but ive been... so... fucking miserable. the last few months i have been back into My Worst State Of Mind Ever. i have been having really bad days where im slipping back into planning how to end my life and self harming again like i did a year ago. this isnt an everyday occurrence as of right now, and rn as im queueing this post, i am not planning currently. but every other day i slip back into those old self destructive bad habits, so it's safe to say my depression is definitely Worse. im trying to figure out how to uh, hang in there. because i can't stop the source of the Thing that is causing me to feel like my only escape option is ending my life. this isn't just my mental health/a chemical imbalance in the brain making me feel this way, this is entirely situational and out of my control.

i know the source of my problem and why i feel this way, and i cannot control it. i havent talked about it on my blogs bc i dont wanna scare anyone, and i will NOT go into details here, but i havent felt safe in a very very very long time. i contacted the authorities back in January this year, i am planning to contact them again soon, but im afraid they can't do anything for me until things get worse than they already are. it sucks that you have to wait until things are literally impossible to get through until the authorities even CONSIDER helping you.

i have just been trying to take everything one day at a time and vent to a few close friends when i need to, but this has been so unbearably difficult to endure every single day. ive been dealing with this FAR longer than a few months, but regarding these last few months specifically, i feel like i haven't been functioning like a person. every single second i am just,,, scared and paranoid, this is the only thing i am ever thinking about because im so, so stressed. i dont WANT to think about it but i literally am incapable of having any peace. every few weeks, something scary regarding my situation happens, and makes my anxiety worse. i cannot tell you how scared ive been. im so scared every day that this is going to kill me, whether it's the actual situation that will kill me, or my own anxiety/fear will drive me into making an irreversible choice. which! i don't wanna do! i genuinely don't want to end my life, i just - i feel extremely trapped in this situation and i've felt very very very hopeless about it for a LONG ass time, and that shit weighs on you over time

my fear/paranoia has affected my self shipping, and self shipping is my main source of comfort, i cant lose it. i keep losing it. ive lost so much already i dont want to lose my F/Os all over again. i keep thinking there’s no point in self shipping because my F/Os would betray me or harm me in some way. i know they’re imaginary and they can’t hurt me IRL but like, from a self shipping standpoint, i can’t stop fretting over all of it being a huge trick. like they’re pretending to love me so they can betray me later. i can’t get any relief, I am having panic attacks all the time, my flashbacks are worse than ever. I can’t self ship and I can’t... function. i'm so messed up from everything that has been happening to me, i feel like healing is impossible at this point. i really hope that is just the severe anxiety/depression/ptsd talking. i hate being negative, i dont want to have such a pessimistic outlook, but it's just felt so... hopeless. like there is no point. but what am i gonna do, not try to feel things with my F/Os again? what am i gonna do, not self ship ever again?? i really have nothing else to do except try my best every day to get through this. or kill myself - and i dont wanna go down that latter road again bc its messy and it sucks and its expensive when you fail and i have permanent scars from the last time i failed two years ago, and i! want! to! get better! i dont genuinely want to die, i just want to escape my situation! this situation i am in should not be worth ending my life over. but i am scared all the time and that hopeless feeling is so heavy and it's just getting harder and harder to carry for so so so so long

i have friends both IRL and online who are trying to help me get back into a safe situation again, but there is only so much we can all do. so i just have to keep taking all of this shit one day at a time and just hope and pray some sort of miracle gets me through this. its been years so i really dont believe theres a way out anymore but i am just! agh!! fucking angry and sad and terrified 24/7 and sick of dealing with this, so i will keep powering through every day even if i gotta kick and scream the entire time.

ok anyway! im gonna stay offline for a little while longer (this is queued, if anyone is kind enough to reply/send an ask, i will try to respond when i return) but i will come back slowly but surely sometime maybe this week, next week at the latest. i at least want to celebrate my July 21st anniversary :( thats my most important one this year. i really really really need to get back into the habit of self shipping even if i dont feel much for my F/Os atm. i refuse to just lay down and take this, i want to at least try to feel something again even if it hurts.

thank you to those who have been patient with me with replies; tumblr says i have over 200 inbox messages and 99+ dms since ive been gone. i will try to get back to people slowly but surely, its just probably gonna take me a hot minute. if anyone has the free minute, if you can just send me something like "everything will be okay" in my inbox, i would super appreciate it 😭🙏 and thank you to anyone who took the time to read my ramblings.

[nemzd]

Purification and Order in a plave no diffrent then hell~

Part 02/??

(Think I be continueing the story nonethenless, idea is just to good to be thrown away)

... You were shocked,.. The Angel of Light himself.. Archangel Micheal... but.. he doesnt look really as mighty as many have said.

You:..But I am not dead... why am I in heaven now? I mean I wouldnt mind dying soon and met the Lord, just that a Angel? .. Took me by firstly hitting me unconcious I thought that was suposses to be diffrent..

Micheal just looked at you.. with his wings behind him and a cold glare on you... he then spoke..

Micheal:...Mortal.. are you in the knowledge of the current situation that we all find ourselves in?..

...

You:...No? I mean I regualry pray to God to stay up to day and keep myself in touch-

..

Micheal: Mortal, God has left heaven.

...

You just looked at him and were like.. what? How, this aint possible. God cant just disappear out of nowhere.You then spoke..

You:I.. disagree, who have I been talking to then in my prayers? I feel his presence... and I keep myself in touch with him every single day.

Micheal just continue to glare at you... but suddenly took his sword and tried to hit you with it... but you were once again protected by a blinding light..

Micheal:....How.. How is the creator of the universe with you?! I can cleary feel the power of God, going through your body.. it cant be but it has to be.. the Holy Spirit...

He fell down on his knees.. with his black hair and began to softly cry. You were astounished at the sight before you... I mean how couldnt you?.. The literal Archangel Micheal was crying before you! And told you that God left heaven... but.. you were so confused.. because you always were in his presence... but then you felt something.. he has gone up to your lap.. and cried the words.

Micheal:..Holy, Holy is our God...Lord have mercy on me.

...

Now you were just unfazed, what happend that a Angel would cry in your lap for the forgiveness of God?.. Oh boy.

You:..Why,what happend? It cant be just that the Lord disappears when I am constantly in contact with but you Angels arent? What happend?!

...

Micheal:God has left heaven! Do you not get it Mortal?!

As he said those exact words the cries have stopped and he had a tight grip on your tight.

Micheal:I cant think of even 1 good reason why God's presence is with you... The Holy Spirit of God.. within you .. but if the his presence is withhin you... you might be a key figure of finding out where he is....

At that moment he stood up and ripped your Shirt off.. he took his sword and sliced his hand and branded your chest.

Micheal: Dont even think of running away, for if you try to escape heaven all the other low ranking Angels wont hesitate to devour you... the only thing that keeps all of them away from you.. would be me.. so be a good little mortal and just listen to me.

And with that, he bowed slightly down and with a cold stare left and slammed the door and left you once again alone in that room of yours in which you still had a chain around your wrists... you were to perplexed.. and tried out but ... you thought..

You: I stil gotta pray..

So you went down on your knees and prayed the "Our Father in Heaven Prayer".

You: Our Father, Who art in heaven

Hallowed be 'Thy Name:

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our trespasses

as we forgive those who trespass

against us:

and lead us not into temptation

but deliver us from evil. Amen.

Right when you finish your prayer.. the door was slammed open.. and another figure appeared...

???:...How is it possible?.. After so long.. has he finally appeared once more?

When you saw the now you know Angel.. he had.. blonde hair and red eye with badanges all over him, and one over his eye.He ran directly to you and began to tightly hug you and he started to softly cry.

???: OH Lord.. where has thou been.. let this humble Angel Raphael feel your presence once more...

As he hugged you... you werent really suprised no more...Another Archangel.. and this time its Raphael. But the Angels wings, wrapped themselves around your small figurtivly small body and he began to just let out everything out...

To say that now you were fazed would be a understatement, like WHATS GOING ON, WHAT HAPPEND HERE, WHERE IS THE LORD AND WHY IS A LITERAL ARCHANGEL IN YOUR ARMS...

But .. seeing him in a state like this you couldnt help.. but feel bad for this Angel, you wrapped your arm around him and hugged him,completly forgetting your shirt was ripped a second ago and that you were "branded" by Micheal the Archangel.. but you just looked at the one in your arms and said said..

You:...Psalms 34:18.. "The lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

When he.. Raphael heard those words.. his tears began to become even heavier... you took him onto the bed and simply held him while he just cried all his pent up stress into your arms and after some time.. he fell asleep in your arms... it was safe to say,that this whole situation.. is just to weird and now that he wont possible let you go now that he has you in his embrace, after some time, you also went to sleep with him in your arms. Oh well holding someone like Archangel Raphael in your arms was something you never thought of ever doing.

You simply never thought you would ever do this.. comforting a Angel.. a Archangel much less .... Ha.... will this be a big mess to fix.

(Cliffhanger~)

So, the idea of this as a whole can be made into a story, which I naturally intend to do, but a little spoiler in my idea is. One day you be meeting the MC, of the game version for this is something I can assure you, MC and you are 2 whole entire diffrent people my dear readers so stay tuned as I plan to literal milk out this idea that I was blessed with.

[eofoc]

day 9: relationships (part 1)

Ange & Juliet - platonic, half-siblings

Ange & Yuze (angeyuze 🌿🌊) - romantic

Mischa & Orifiel (orimischa 🗝️🦢) - romantic; art credits: first, second

Juliet & Roselyn (roseliet 🌹🕯️) - complicated; art credits: first, second

AAAHAGHG MY FAV DAY!!!!! prepare for a crazy CRAZY EXTENSIVE infodump (under the cut) ...

edit: i feel like this is already a long ass post so tbh. i might just reblog with a description of the other two (🗝️🦢+🌹🕯️) at a later time :]

idk if i need to say this but i hate incest. please block me if you engage in any sort of incest media / fiction. my ocs siblings relationship are strictly platonic

💚🧸 ill start with the siblings because they make me a bit crazy i cant lie. they are half-siblings!! juliets dad died when she was very very young (a baby basically) so she grew up with her step-father (ange's father)... she didnt really gaf about him at all though because she was mommys girl . amen

when they were younger, ange and juliet got along really well!!!! juliet loved playing the role of an older sister and she liked dragging ange around ... they also played togetjer a lot :3 but like. gradually they started getting more into their studies and all .... their parents were getting more and more antagonistic towards each other so they began piting the kids against each other as well. #divorce

as a kid ange viewed juliet as some sort of a. higher figure... something beyond his reach... a kind and silly and funny angel and the only person who treated him right honestly. so when he assumed that juliet has betrayed yuze and had his parents killed . his world Lowkey literally crumbled. i think he realized at that time that shes just a human person and can Also make mistakes.

their relationship got a bit strained because ange started to isolate himself Hard. and juliet is a naturally pushy person when it comes to others so it did make her frustrated when he wouldnt tell her anything or talk to her... wah...... ange was also being ostracized by society because of his father :( juliet tried to throw parties and warm others up to him and she was like. just act nice okay. but it failed lowkey because hes a bit of an asshole sometimes

they had a big fight over that and stopped speaking like.. at all...... ange thought juliet was setting him up and exposing him to people that dont like him when all she did was try to fix his image and reputation... whatever okay.

i also want to say theyre very similar in a lot of aspect!!! both mask their emotions to a crazy degree, usually with a smile or with humor... both kind of try to appeal to people as much as they can, but in different ways? ange mostly wants people to see him as stupid and non-threatening (opposite of his father) and juliet wants people to see her as pitiful and hard-working. they are also both mildly suicidal BUT ange is like -> i have no purpose so i should kms vs. juliet being like -> kms is the only way to escape the purpose i have in life

🌿🌊 ohhh the doomed yaoi... they make me super super sickly.... i talked about their childhood like 93849 times so . well. idk if i should do it Again . However

theyre like. childhood friends to one-sided enemies to lovers . in their childhood years yuze and ange met when yuze was helping his parents with tailoring clothes and yuze helped him out a bit (ange was afraid to speak up and yuze noticed it...) and so it began. ange kind of even in his childhood clung to yuze a lot because it seemed like he was the only one who understood him and his troubles. like even to a bigger degree than juliet could. to yuze . well he didnt think too much about it . like childhood friend yay :)

then the whole FIASCO happened. yuze jumped through 9328 mental hoops and as a 10 year old the only logical thing that made sense was that ange had something to do with the death of his parents. poor ange lost his only friend, his dad was executed and his mama now hated him more than ever and forbid juliet from meeting with him. so they were both going through it .

and then when they meet again they are literally . two different people . its like meeting a fuckign stranger because of how much theyve changed and that drives me a bit crazy. ange is hurt by the resentment yuze seems to hold for him.... yuze is like damn i have to kill this guy (he doesnt Really hide it...) but he finds out how suicidal ange is and hes like. :/. i dont like you but dont do that actually jesus christ youve had it rough. and then he finds out that ange didnt have anything to do with his parents after all and the GUILT that kicks in is crazy. and then more stuff happens (Heh

[liexwrittesfreely]

Grieving Meaning

(VERYYY long post)

Feelings of despair

Without any profound motive,

Or motive at all.

Of which I must find

Hiding within all the

Sad thoughts I’ve ever had

That no one could refute

Upon me being utterly correct,

Of in exchange they started calling me a realist

Instead of a pessimist.

After all,

What makes me a pessimist

Is that I think about all those real issues

(solely)

Without thinking significantly

At the happiness surrounding me

Which is a part of my real condition of

“the now”.

My real existence

Isn’t solely surrounded by sadness.

Do I need one motive

To feel so much grief

For people who’ve I met

That aren’t dead;

For people I’ve never met

Who died tragically;

For people I’ve known

That died peacefully

Without me by their side?

Out of the blue

Without actively missing them?

With 99% of the time

The grief not being directed towards them

But just me trying to fill the empty spot

Of motive.

When did motive leave?

When did I start feeling grief

Without anything being lost?

When did I start chasing ghosts?

Will my retriever help me

Retrieve these lost ghosts to me

Like how she did with

All these tennis balls,

Lost in the backyard?

I miss you,

However I think you’ve taken a part of me

When you left,

Along, everything escaped from it

Like water in an old bucket.

I’m sorry

I didn’t go through with it,

I think it was for the best though,

Since I’ve also been happy

Even with the leaking

Even with the lack of you. .

Why did I start feeling that way

When I knew you would be gone?

Why did I think it would be all over

Without you?

I cant put anything in my heart now,

And if I do it comes right out.

And I try again.

And it pains me all over

And over again.

I think it's human nature.

I think I’m human.

Or maybe it’s the animal instinct

Of self preservation.

When I encounter

The little white room,

With noisy kids

That seem all too happy

For all the senseless work

Given to us by people

Who barely believe in the world,

Our futures and theirs

Might have been doomed the day

We met the little white room.

For me,

It symbolizes my lack of freedom,

My lack of free will.

Why do I do something so senseless?

So unnatural

As sitting for hours

For no knowledge to be able to entertain me

While my back aches

And the exhaustion becomes unbearable?

I’m tired,

I’m tired!

There’s no physical motive

When I grieve for something I cannot see.

Do I grieve my own freedom?

Do I fear the pain

More than death?

I grieve your loss,

I grieve my loss of humanity.

That is so animalistic

I cannot interpret it rationally

So art becomes the only answer.

Art has meaning without rationality,

Language through personal perception

And not a dictionary.

No formula to follow,

No specific person to impress.

I had forgotten due to the good days

Of rotting in my room

To remember all the pain

Through exhaustion.

Now I know motive.

School has taught me something.

Finally,

Something.

I question the world too hard,

Looking for a answer

For something that might as well be

Simple chemistry.

Still I go to school to study it

Still I keep forgetting.

I can't help but forget how to solve the equation,

How can I make the world a better place?

If they ever make it

A better place

Will people be sad

Now without any real motive

To be so,

Just like me?

Except there won't be anything to blame it on.

Is a land too beautiful to be true,

Not seem like it will ever be something

We are able to touch?

Will reality not seem enough to us all?

What will we chase?

Sadness?

What does that imply for us all?

Motive chases sadness,

Sadness gives motive,

Motive to pass through it to a happier place?

Is there ever an end?

Is there ever an answer?

I will stop thinking so hard

At a meaningless objective

When I have no more time.

[padme-amitabha]

I just saw a post calling ahoska and obi wan anakins truest loves and uh what? It brought up the mortis arc of tcw and essentially minimizing the anidala love for one another as some form of escapism and how its poison ( even tho vader literally gets saved bc of luke - padmes son🙄) Its so strange how ahsoka fans want to make her a more prominent character than she really is. Also a recurring opinion that gets brought up is ahsoka knowing/understanding anakin better than padme and obi wan when she didn’t even know things about him (like he was a slave) and we consistently see anakin confide in padme its just so odd how alot of star wars fans diminish her

That doesn't surprise me at all since Star Wars is Ahsoka Wars at this point. And even if it wasn't, you have to give the Skywalkers at least some rest uk? The constant retconning and addition of new stuff most people didn't even ask for is tiresome. Ahsoka from the start felt very OC-ish to me because she was constantly hyped and favored in a way not even Anakin was. She felt like a self-insert jedi character so her place is canon is just weird. And forcing her to be important in places where she's not needed just shows Filoni's favoritism. At least GL wasn't ever really biased towards Anakin and Luke. Anakin mainly suffered through so much and had enough flaws and complexies which Ahsoka never had. She's constantly in a plot armor and just overpowered imo. But ofc she's a badass Jedi so she is more popular than Padme. I cant even.. I just hate the way TCW and Filoni wrote her. I don't see Anakin as being a big brother to anyone. Or being a teacher. The only other natural interaction he has except Padme and his mother is with Obi-Wan and even that took time. They didn't get along well in the first two movies and although he does joke around with Obi Wan in ROTS, he has his own slightly awkward and shy way of doing it. And I imagine he's semi reserved and shy with other Jedi. Or when we see him interacting with Padme's family. But to make him a responsible master is strange because even in ROTS he was too young and not mature enough to be level-headed and responsible all the time. And I like that because he has flaws but he was trying to learn and wanted to be a good father. And I do believe he really gained that maturity (which was stunted due to obvious trauma) and fatherly affection for Luke after ESB and not before. I think he would have had trouble connecting with Leia as well post ROTJ because he wasn't prepared to and had no experience being a role model for anyone. Meanwhile, 22 year old TCW Anakin with Ahsoka acts like a 30 year old man with anger issues...

It's also frustrating to see Padme being reduced to a love interest when she was a main character and part of the trio. She, like Han, didn't need to be a Jedi to be one of the main characters and it's boring to see a trio of Jedi only. I don't really blame Ahsoka fans - only Filoni for constantly dragging her into everything and I'm glad it's backfiring because I see fans who previously liked her are beginning to get tired of her being shoehorned into every single SW thing and acting all Mary Sue. Also, see the amount of concept arts and storylines they wrote for Padme during the prequels. She had more arts than Anakin and Obi-Wan. GL clearly wanted her to be important even more than Leia in ANH because we see much more of Padme and the first movie directly involves her and her planet with Anakin's discovery being a sideplot. It's disrespectful to reduce her to a love interest.

This video puts it really well (although he isn't a fan of the prequels as far as I can remember): "Dave Filoni's biggest problem as a writer apart from his complete inability to write interesting dialogue or craft stories that are more than just fetch quest for Magical McGuffin or create people who actually make smart decisions or his borderline fetish for the boring mediocre character he's trying so hard to insert as the driving force behind the entire Star Wars narrative is his constant [ __ ] around and reconning of past events and World building to suit the needs of his own narrow story. It's like he's staying in a hotel room for a couple of days and decided that he now has the right to completely remodel the place because he feels like it. This isn't your job Dave you're supposed to work within the rules of the world that George created not write a whole bunch of new ones just to suit yourself that now affect everyone else."

Lol applause for saying that out loud

[merv606]

I know some people are out there hoping Daniel will escape from Terry but I’m like…HELL NO!! I want that pretty little twink thoroughly destroyed and Terry totally triumphant. Daniel is Terry’s and always has been. I want Terry to out a ring on it! 🤣 ♥️

😈

More?” Daniel slurs out, a soft noise he refuses to call a whimper coming from him as Terry’s arm wraps around his midsection - he swears it’s swollen from the older man’s cum - as Terry arranges him to his liking. Mere seconds later and Terry’s cock is already back rubbing against Daniel’s entrance, slightly sore, clearly from being thoroughly used - but willing still it seems as he cants his hips the best he can - all to the praise of the older man which just has him clenching, forcing more of Terry’s come out of him, making his crack event wetter; more obscene.

How is Terry still hard?

The sound of the tube of lube which really, embarrassingly, isn’t needed - at all; not with what’s coming out of him, having taken more loads than he can even count - open and gaping. Even when he clenches he swears it doesn’t close all the way. Still, Terry loves him like this - so wet and open; clearly fucked within an inch of his life.

Hands massaging his ass, the older man’s thumbs delving between his cheeks, parting them.

The sound of Terry touching himself to the sight of Daniel’s hole; fucked open and painted in white.

Terry has collected art from all over the world and knows nothing in his collection or that he’s ever seen for that matter would ever compare. Daniel will always be the most priceless thing he owns.

“Absolutely perfect.”

A finger is gently pressed up through the mess, and Daniel knows without looking that the older man is sucking said finger into his own mouth, and he shuts his eyes as Terry groans.

“Terry, no,” Daniel whimpers, knowing what’s coming but it doesn’t stop the older man from putting his lips to his ass next.

He jerks forward, knowing that Terry will just tighten his grip, pull Daniel back into place. There is no going where Terry doesn’t want him to go; especially so if it’s away from him.

Sure enough, large hands tighten on the hold on his hips, fingers digging into the already bruised soft flesh of his hips.

It’s not that it doesn’t feels good - quite the opposite - it feels so fucking good but the fact that Terry’s mouth is on him like this - his cum oozing out of him … it’s so filthy which Daniel would can’t admit to himself (yet) that that’s part of the appeal.

“You know you taste good like this.”

Back to the older man’s face buried between Daniel’s cheeks eating him out, Daniel humping back against his husband’s face, trying, and failing not to sound like a cat in heat.

Too desperate to come, he’s reaching back to hold himself open, completely on display for the older man, clenching to show Terry the state his cock has left him in. The sight of that, his hole clearly owned, and the ring on Daniel’s left hand marking him as Terry’s through and through as he tries to tempt his husband.

“God, you can’t even keep it inside can you honey?”

He needs to come, and he comes hardest when something is inside him, trained well by the older man, so he moans out, “so put more in me.”

“Fuck, what you do to me,” and while Terry’s voice is rough, there’s an awe there, love dripping from every word, like the cum dripping from his ass. Lining up, first teasing the head of his cock against his husband’s greedy hole, just to see him try to fuck back on it before judging it back inside. Terry watches the hole open easily to the intrusion, his cock head keeping him open, before he pushes the next few inches inside.

Normally he’d be griping the sheets, making himself relax to take it - if it was the first time that night that he was Terry inside but now he’s too open and used, so relaxed he simply lies on his belly, legs splayed open, for the older man to use him as he sees fit.

Bottoming out, his hips flush to Daniel’s ass; cock so deep Daniel can taste it.

Pulling out only to see the gap, the white on his cock from the cum already inside him - he filled his boy good and deep.

Fucking back in, squealing wet noise - the soundtrack of desire - as Terry has him again and again and again, fucking more out than in.

Destroyed now, as willingly as he could be; ruined for anyone else but Terry.

[thenixkat]

and you punched the metahuman victim because?

Batman's a bigot let's just say it

like, asshole you coulda punched Luthor instead of Luthor's victim Batman claims he only joined Luthor to figure out what Lex had been doing with Captain Marvel

Batman's group was plotting to double cross the villains

hmm maybe knocking Billy the fuck out while you explained to the room what Luthor did to him wasnt the best idea Bruce

especially teh part with you chasing with a gun while revealing everything that he knows is a lie

ah the dehumanization of prisoners who are only prisoners b/c a bunch of unsanctioned vigilantes kidnapped them for not bowing to their top vigilante

oh no how dare the people you kidnapped and put in a reeducation camp kill one of the guards keeping them locked up. The savages

meanwhile the regular people, the US president decides to drop nukes on the brawl at the Kansas gulag of course SUperman's the only hope. Also its nice to see someone acknowledging that Captain Marvel can match Superman

Wonder Woman attempts to kill Batman for talking shit. B/c we need someone to make the bad guy, and that's clearly what they've been trying to do with wonder woman here

just trying to murder someone who is there to help quell the revolution and keep teh prisoners in this illegal reeducation camp just cause they have an attitude is the best behavior from a superhero

Batman and Wonder Woman decide to stop fighting eachother and take on the planes carrying nuclear bombs. Granted i doubt either of them considered what the president might do is the heroes stop him from bombing them and their illegal prison camp

its probably not the best thing to say that all metas need to die for the sake of the world company that's bread and butter is selling stories about super people doing shit. But go off, which yer shitty shitty morals

The SPectre plans to punish who ever survives, the humans or the metas for the genocide that occurs either way, b/c teh Spetre is a shitty shitty superhero and an even more shit angel

and it picked up the narrator cause it cant tell teh future and needed help with teh judgment call cause the only two options the writers have decided to railroad shit into is either the metas get genocided or the metas take up humanity with infighting nevermind any other potential options

and the narrator chews teh Spectre the fuck out for simply being an all powerful observer and doing shit for dick to make shit better

so Superman decides to murder the UN for deciding to bomb his illegal prison camp and all of his friends who'd kidnapped people from all over teh world and were fighting all out to keep those prisoners from escaping that could have resulted in countless regular people casualties

teh narrator talks Superman down from murdering the UN

again with the people seeing superheroes as gods thing. I assure you that it'd be more normal for the average person to think of superpowers folks as just some asshole rather than a god

man i dont like this story

but also i love how solving problems along side the common folk doesnt involve like stopping being vigilantes and working through official channels. And it definitely wont mean doing shit that reduces crime in general

Batman rebuilds Wayne manor and turns it into a hospital to care for the people harmed by the radiation but he's still got multiple death robots just in every room watching people and he continuously patrols said hospital

why the fuck does Wonder Woman deserve to regain her crown when she tried to st

art a totalitarian regime?

fuck her and Superman and Wonder Woman hook up b/c they cant just leave a woman unattached

I dont care for the story. I didnt even find out the info I fucking read it for

I will say that its well painted and that painting a comic is an ordeal, too bad its wasted on this story

and Wonder Woman's fucking pregnant! Of course b/c that's the only way to heal and move forward hook up and have babies

of course other heroes breeding is a problem b/c they just spawn amoral wild animals but its ok for Wonder Woman and Superman to breed

they want Bruce to be a godparent to the baby. Bruce is shitty parent thank fuck its over

[dooplissss]

i would like to know about the ocs 🫴🏽

bless you

ok I have way more than just these but these are the current standouts, maybe I’ll do a part 2 tomorrow bc i cant stop talking about my silly little guys

Emmett & Marasmus: Newest oc for dnd, pact of the undead warlock. Emmett was just living his life til he ate the wrong mushroom for dinner and it revealed itself to be a god named Marasmus that wants people to praise it, so it took over poor Emmett’s body and puppeted him around, turning his hometown into a cult. Emmett broke out of his stupor and escaped after nearly feeding a spore to his brother and he’s been running ever since, his body slowly being eaten by the monster that inhabits him. Also they bicker constantly, real Beacon and Duck Newton vibes.

Emmett is truly just some guy who doesn’t deserve to have this wannabe god parasite stuck to him but that’s how these things go. He’s so sweet and ofc he loves his family bc I’m predictable and make that a trait for nearly all my ocs. I tend to avoid family drama or at least do it in a different way than most people, in that I prefer my characters to be striving to get back home or avoiding going home because they feel they don’t deserve to be a part of their family anymore, but always always always they are loved despite everything bad they’ve done/think they’ve done. I really hope the game goes long enough to see Emmett get to hug his brother again and forgive his mom for not being able to help him, he’s the only one of my ocs who’s been wronged by his family and even then its neither of their fault. God he needs a hug so bad

Salem & Erin: god this guy is so fun. Salem is a skellington who started as a rich brat that got peer pressured into a ritual that makes you immortal, 40 years later he had a heart attack, died for a second, and then started rotting alive. He spent decades alone in his big mansion haunting his own halls, bored out of his skull. Occasionally people would come thru, be terrified by him or try to kill him, but largely he was just left there. It took him years to work up the courage to enter his son’s room and reminisce about him; he was married a long time ago, but as soon as he floated the idea of having his spouse and child go through the ritual too they up and left him.

Eventually a realtor, Erin, comes to the house to sell it, and she’s the only person who isn’t scared of him. It’s the first conversation Salems had in years and they become friends, her daughter Olivia makes clothes for Salem to disguise his form and help him gain the courage to leave the house more and more. Salem lets more people into the house, especially artists he really loves art, and eventually lets people live there while he moves in with Erin and Olivia once he feels safe enough to live among people again.

Originally Erin and Salem were supposed to just be friends but ofc I started shipping them and ughhh they make me insane. They’re both divorcees and have talked at length about how they’ll never make that mistake again, but Salems been in love with Erin since the beginning. And he’s the least subtle person on the planet so ofc everyone knows, including Erin and she’s just patiently waiting for the day when Salem admits how they feel, however long it takes. I made Salem for dnd and his quest is basically to find a way to undo his immortality, but tbh every time he joins a campaign it dies soon after so I think I want to try making a comic or a series of vignettes or something for him anyway, especially since I’ve had a lot of time to think about plot hooks and stuff.

this is the only fic i have them but i really love it please clap

Tillian & Somlen: The OCs of All Time. I literally have a tattoo representing them, they mean so goddamn much to me its hard to put into words like they changed me as a person. Somlen isn’t my oc, he belongs to my dm, but the two are so tied together and influenced each other so much it all kinda blends together.

Tillian is a haunted one bard who grew up in the town of Winslow, a little prairie town that had something Wrong in the well that caused all the sounds to warp. The crops whispered, the blueberries gossiped, her mom echoed, her dad sang, her brother spoke backwards, and when Tillian herself spoke everyone would hear something different (I had a d100 list for what they would hear). After someone disappeared while doing recon inside the well, the town boarded it up and went their separate ways. When Tillian’s family went to stay with her aunt, she said hello to her cousin and instantly killed him with her voice.

She went to bard college to help get her voice back, and as the game started she was simply looking for answers to why this happened and what caused it. She meets with the group, starts adventuring, and one fight goes so bad she gets fully 3 failed death saves killed. Something picks her out of the river of death and brings her back to life, and that’s when she buys a haunted doll, a homebrew item from TAZ that takes that final death onto itself.

As the adventurers leave town, she feels her bag moving on to find oh fuck the doll is alive and its an asshole. The doll says his name is Somlen and he was cursed after he slept with the wrong person. Tillian HATES this guy at first but ah fuck, if she dies he’s going to die in her place so she has to be more careful. And as she talks to him more, she starts to warm up to him. He cheated on his girlfriend and he’s the perfect picture of the horny bard trope, but he wants to do better and become a better person.

Things happen, yadda yadda, Tillian finds out the location of the hag that cursed him and they kill her, taking the curse away but Somlen is still stuck in the doll body, they need powerful magic to get him polymorphed back to human. The group decides to go to a city but, as a lark, one of the npcs decides to try her luck to change him back and she rolls a goddamn nat 20. Somlen is human again and oh god he’s in his birthday suit. While Tillian is in total shock, the group gets him clothed, Somlen jokes around and plays it cool up until he gets back to Tillian, who just. Wordlessly takes her signature scarf, the one her dad knit for her, and wraps it around him and hugs him. And it hits them both like, they did it, he’s safe, and Somlen would do anything for her and vice versa.

They go into the city where they get a clue to visit the outskirts where Tillian’s aunts house is, except its old, like really really old, all that’s left is a hole down into the basement. And when they get in, Tillian can feel something trying to communicate with her, and she learns this place is over 2000 years old and so is she. That night, when she sleeps, she wakes up inside the well surrounded by hundreds of faces and she knows every single one of them. The thing that lives in the well tells her to bring her friends back for it, and that’s when it hits her: This thing, the Uvuuduam, has been sending her out every hundred years to go collect a group of adventurers and bring them back to feed them to this monster. It controlled her into tracking down every villager of Winslow and throwing them down into the well, including her mom and dad and brother. She is as much the thing haunting her home as this awful creature is.

She wakes up, silently collects her things, and leaves everyone behind to spare them. They catch up, ofc, but she is desperate to spare them from this fate. She offers them a anti-scrying necklace so they can leave her and be untrackable, but no one agrees to take it, they’re all in it to save her much as she begs them not to. She is absolutely broken by this revelation, but the group and especially Somlen are there to hold her together.

They send some time leveling up and preparing to go to her town, and finally the day comes when they arrive. They go into the well and face the Uvuuduam, it’s a tough fight (we had a irl sleepover to play it all the way thru), but they do it and she severs this horrible things neck as she screams, her voice finally returning to her after all these years. Everyone in the well wakes up, she reunites with her family, and (this part always makes me cry) when she sleeps that night, it’s the first restful sleep she’s had in 2000 years. She and Somlen stay behind in Winslow, finally home.

Like. They are truly everything to me. They are foils in so many ways but it just makes them stronger. Tillian is an aromantic bard, helping me realize I myself am aro, and it always gets to me that she loved so fiercely and so much and it was used as a weapon against her, that the monster knew it could depend on her to make connections strong enough to make people willing to do anything for her and therefore bring back its food. She loves too much for her own good, but she’s safe now, she’s with her family and the people she loves and god forbid anything try to take advantage of her ever again.

Also these two are just funny. Two halves of a whole idiot. Tillian is a neurotic mess at all times, Somlen is full of himself, they’re life partners and also an inseparable comedy duo. They’ve seen each other at their very worst and choose each other without hesitation over and over. They’ve both had their free will ripped from them thru curses and manipulation and they vow to break the hold others have on them, they would tear the world in half if the other asked. And just. Tillian wants nothing more than to return home while Somlen runs as far away from his past as possible, but he finds a home in her and he helps her win back hers. They love each other and they are best friends forever :’) also I’ve written so many fics about them and I still have so many more I want to write lmao

[cluelessbees]

Okay….

A concept— Dash and Lily Byler AU (I posted a part 2-ish)

Idk if you guys have watched dash and lily but it’s a very cute season-long like cheesy Christmas romance. The whole premise is that Lily puts this book in a bookstore that Dash finds and they essentially communicate through the notebook. They don’t know each others identities but they have to do a dare in order for the other to answer their question.

Im like not explaining it well but it’s very cute 😭. So like I was wondering ….byler au 👀?

So now enjoy my take on their notebook entries to each other—

(For context this one is Will’s to Mike after Mike proposed being called Blue + Mike’s entry afterwards)

Idk if it’s any good but enjoy—

***

Blue huh? 

You really aren’t giving me any clues to your name? I guess you do really like the mystery aspect of this all.

I guess I’ll continue in the theme of colours. Call me yellow. Or…think of me as yellow. I don’t think yellow works as well as a name compare to Blue, but it’s my favourite colour.

It just feels warm….which feels sorta weird to say. How can a colour feel warm? 

I don’t know. It just- reminds me of sun and how it would tickle my skin when I would lay on the grass in the park with my family. It’s just one of those warm memories. Something I think about when I want to escape.

That’s- a really weird thing to admit to a boy I’ve never met. But it’s just easier to tell you these things I guess? You’re easy to talk to- or write to.

I’m sorry if I’m being weird. I hope I’m not scaring you away.

Because ….i like talking to you blue. I hope you like talking to me.

Anyways, enough about me. It’s time for your dare. 

You’ve mentioned never really being an artist, huh? I’m not buying it. I think you like being creative. You just hate showing it.

I’ve attached a drawing of a map to this art centre. Go to it. I’ve booked you for a 4pm painting lesson. Let me know what you draw.

Don’t focus on perfection just have fun, okay? 

Give the book to the instructor, tall guy with a weird mustache you’ll know what I mean when you see it.

From, 

Yellow (?) (i have no idea of yellow is working or not)

***

Dear Yellow,

I’ll have to admit- it doesn’t work as well as Blue, but that’s okay. I think I’ll continue calling you notebook boy. I like the mystery element behind it. You’re very mysterious to me. I cant help wanting to know more about you.

You do remind me of yellow though- the warmth that is. I don’t know how else to describe it you just seem like such a warm person. Which- is weird to admit because I don’t even know you but it’s true.

Also, you don’t have to worry about scaring me off. I’m far too intrigued in knowing who you are to be scared off by anything. 

And….I happen to like you too, Notebook Boy

(See notebook boy just works better)

Anyways, a finger painting class huh? Have to admit I did not expect that. You’re always filled with surprises.

At first I thought you were just being sadistic. Like- you wanted me to stain my hands as some sort of punishment for a previous dare. But- I have to admit it was fun getting messy.

And I managed to get a sweet finger painted rainbow out of it. I’m sure I can’t compete with the art you make. You’re probably the most talented artist I know (I’m aware I haven’t seen your art yet but I’m still right.) But I like it- I think. It’s a decent painting.

Scratch that my friend just asked me if it was made by my little sister— okay so maybe not decent, but I had fun. Maybe…I do like creativity. Although no one will know but you.

I hope I get to see your paintings someday.

For now, i leave you with a dare and a question. 

What’s your taste of music like, Notebook Boy?

Mine is a mixed of genres, but I thought it would be fun for you to try something new. You seem very reserved so…I’ve attached a ticket to a friends rock show. It’s for tomorrow at 9. He makes good music. I’ve always like the atmosphere of his gigs. They’re so loud and the energy just seeps through the veins. 

I hope you like it. 

Blue 

P.S. hand the book over to my friend at the end of the show! He’s the guitarist. Tell him Blue sent you. 

***

I have more if y'all want but yeah--- thoughts? (Part 2)

[glasshearts-break]

06/07/2024

Long time no post on this blog. I cant give the exact date but I want to say the last time I was active was about 4 years ago. I recently graduated highschool and a global pandemic happened during that time.

4 years later I went looking through this blog and I had some intense and some light emotions.

The heavy stuff first is that since I've been off of this blog I still committed to my healing. My healing journey has been off and on. The way I can describe it is I start trying to implement new habits, affirmations, working out, going outside, talking to friends and it seems to be going well. However I can't escape whatever is inside of me. No matter how much shadow work, breathing, resting I do i come right back to where I started. I thought I must not be working hard enough. I'm not being consistent and coming back to healing after my depressive episodes/anxiety fall outs. Where I'm going with this is while I have made some slight improvements because of some diet changes I still have the exact same problems I did 4 years ago. It's hard to read and it makes me emotional to know that I've been battling my own mind for so long and yet I still feel this helplessness.

Moving on quickly from that there were some posts that made me happy. When I see the photos I posted I feel warm and nostalgic because that's me.

Weirdly enough I think I'm coming back to my vent blog and hopefully I can document the healthy changes because I am still dedicated to my happiness even though this journey has been rather bleak. I want to post my art because I stopped doing that and I want to journal here. Looking back at happy entries makes me happy knowing that it wasn't all suffering.

This was longer than intended but its my voice.

[shkika]

Having trouble with thinking of something to ask hrmm

What part of the rw lore do you find most interesting? Like..what are your thoughts on it? any twists you've thought up or any detail/s you just wanna rant abt?

The rainworld lore is painfully a lot and painfully little at the same time, like why are the pearls focused on garbage worms and what is noise milking oh my goddd

moon isnt lore on her own but her pearl readings are a massive source of it. so if i had to say my favorite thing would be iterators and the relationship they had with their colonies. the fact they can vary and the fact iterators have different opinions of their parents!! (one iterator talked abt havjng to sit through dark political times awkwardly like 🧍🤷 at some points. thats funny)

ahem I looove it a lot!! for example the way moon worded her existence is sad. the way she speaks about them is sad. like in short “ancients must not try very hard so we do that for them. at least i did” <- smth along the lines

she sounds bitter she dislikes them with a hidden passion even when she has 5 braincells left. Not to mention she calls them parasites with bad takes (sheesh). something people dont really ?? recognize enough or at all imo is that moon almost retired (ancients moving away from her city) and she was happy about it. Until it didnt work out and some stayed and she was pissed again.

now pebbles speaks with softness (as much as he has it in him) he liked them! he liked their art! their music! he liked witnessing their stupid arguments even when they were in his name (he found the citadel he shaded funny for being so angry)

he found a lot of things they did stupid but he also was impressed in other aspects! he liked them a lot to the point the last item that he keeps for comfort and keeps him together as a whole is a hymn of theirs. even when abandoned, he finds comfort in the company they used to bring him!!! how sad!!

Another part of the lore. Hm cycles.

I have no idea how they work. Youd believe at first that when you die. You get reborn. Pain!!! never escaping!!

But that cant be the case it has sooo many plotholes if thats the case.

1 artificers kids died! straight up GONE. theyre dead!! thats why shes so insane you cant tell me theyre just lost somewhere and also pups cant ascend (me when i reach spiritual enlightenment at 10). theyre straight up gone.

2. imagine u defeat the scav kind and he comes back an hour later.. nah. thjngs DIE

3 why did the ancients go crazy over killing themselves then idk!

4 suns was basically crying about how they dont know what theyll do if spearmaster dies. yeah no respawning then.

So then the cycle is being reborn into smth new. great. how does karma play in this. how do you raise it. time? do you have your old memories after u go into a new cycle?? i dont know!! no scug has ever been plagued with dreams of being smth else before. !!! how do you confirm its a thing!! idk!! how do you know you are in a samsara! i wish we got ancients talking about it. in pearls or smth.

i havent ascended with saint yet. (reached karma 10 and bonked the siblings) but i doubt they answer all of my questions

random kiki rw lore fact- did you know that the rot area - (riv gameplay) there is a room in it thats just called terror!!! it upsets me greatly. the place is so different because the rot literally eats his walls. it fucks me up sometimes even if it seems obvious

[stovetoast]

i know this is my art blog but i can do whatever i want. agents posting GO (WARNING THIS IS MESSY)

agent 3: lake. 19 (11 in splatoon 1), they/them

i dont have a lot on lake!!! they actually didnt get recruited at all, they just kinda... stumbled into the battlefield while the octavio fight was happening and insisted on sticking around afterwards because they had Way Too Much Energy. they dont really know a lot about their past before that, even less after oe. they now spend a lot of time researching turf game strategies (theyre not legally allowed to play because their special limiter is broken) and trying to push through the chronic fatigue. oh, and theyre in a qpr with 8.

personality . uhh basically lake likes to pretend theyre still silly but its Not working. they cant really speak above a certain volume either without it hurting. im so bad at describing personalities heeellllp hellllp help meeee helllllp

agent 4: mari(elle). 21 (15 in splatoon 2), any

the child of two splatlandian grizzco higher-ups! like... they work with the bear himself! they worked under the company at the inkopolis location for a while, including while the whole callie disappearing fiasco was happening, at least until the company got big enough where he could quit and her parents wouldnt notice. they didnt. cool! there may or may not be a reason that they didnt (wink) but i havent decided yet.

mari is kinda uhhhm. well. ive described it as theyre working on being silly without being mean. and hes been getting better :] + toni kensa fan oh heeeeelllllll no

agent 8: august/kass. 19 (13 in oe), he/him

oh god yeah i dont have a lot on him either. basically baby kass and baby lake met a few weeks before the Oe Incident and became fast friends. but then the metro happened and uhhhyeah you can imagine what happened to that. they both know they were close but dont really uh. actually i explained this better in another thing let me grab that.

"the key difference between a normal playthrough and this is that, not only did he run into agent 3 a few times in the metro, he… lost an eye when they were sanitized. the same eye, in fact. plus, his memories weren't entirely… restored, like how it i assume its implied to in oe. the contents of the mem cakes were merely evidence that there was a life before this, something to evoke feelings, and something to keep him going. that isn't his life anymore."

anyway. oe happens and now were here. present day kass is SILLY okay? but in the way that like. he dunks bread in pepsi and stares at mari (roommate) with the most blank face imaginable when they look at him weird. i dont know where im going with this hes just weird. he also has a strange fixation on death as a coping mechanism for the fact that his first memories are pretty much of zombies but hes respectful about it dw

new 3: clementine "kit"/patch. 16, it/its

basically it was forced to take on an unhealthy amount of schoolwork (+ a few extra years of school) because its parents live all the way in calamari county and didnt want it doing stupid shit. its primary guardian is its older sister, whos a lot nicer about this stuff yay! but yeah uhh splatoon 3 basically happens because it wanted to escape that. why it actually went in the manhole is up to interpretation .

through the nss bonanza business it made a friend, my friends oc ball :] together they are agent 6 and agent 9 (dubbed by lake because they knew itd get confusing) and theyre Siblings Yaaay. its smallfry friend (agent 3) is dubbed sen, short for baby sensory video, at least while kits learning their language. it doesnt know a lot about sen but is in the process of learning!!

its generally very quiet and soft-spoken to most people because of how it grew up, but in more of the ^_^ way ig??? despite that its also known to not have a sense of self preservation, again because of how it grew up. it goes out in the scorching hot desert for random junk. it ended up with severe facial scarring because it dove into danger so much in alterna. im describing this very badly im so sorry.