#so essentially I failed everything
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some-french-asshole · 1 year ago
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Everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful everything is awful
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wizardsix · 26 days ago
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about 30 hours into veilguard and while I have an essay worth of my problems w the game and how this is absolutely not ten year's worth of developing I do want to say what I do like. the maps (visuals/progression/exploration), combat, and the companions (only five of them. neve and taash annoy me and I would absolutely not recruit them if this game didn't force you to)... overall it's all right on its own but it's no dragon age game.
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lem-argentum · 8 months ago
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i *DID* like end.walker, but playing it has just made me want to talk more about the strengths of shadow.bringers because it highlights them evenm more. help!.!!!!!
#lem text#xivposting#ITS ABOUT THE.THE FLOW. THE PACING. HOW THE EMOTIONAL WEIGHT OF THE INCITING INCIDENT NEVER LOSES MOMENTUM#ew focuses on the final days but you jump around to so many places that are far away from each other and have suchj different situations#and that kind of progression is similar to how the expansions work too#but THE ENTIRE. PREMISE. SETS UP SHB TO PROGRESS IN A WAY WHERE EVERYTHING SEEMS RELEVANT AND ENHANCES GHE MAIN POINT#AND AND SND. i’m too scatterbrained to word it hfnksjzfk YOU KNOW..!!.!/!!!!#ITS LITERALLY ALL ABOUT THE SETUP. FROM THE CRYSTAL TOWER SIDEQUESTS TO THE WARRIORS OF DARKNESS PLOTLINE IN POST-HW#TO WHEN ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS START COLLAPSING AND YOU FIND OUT THEY’RE BEING SUMMONED TO SOME UNKNOWN WORLD.#****AND THAT PART!!!!!**** IS ESSENTIAL BECAUSE. THE FACT THATJ THE SCIONS SPEND YEARS ON THE FIRST. GIVES **THEM** ALL SPECIFIC REASONS TO-#CARE ABOUT THE PEOPLE. AND THE EVENTS. AND THE PLACES. WHICH IN TURN GIVES *YOU* THE SAME REASONS FOR INVESTMENT. AKNFHDKFJ#because OK. you meet alphi and he tells you about how much of himself he sees in eulmore. how to him it is a mirror of his past failings#and so you care about ITS development because you care about HIM and then it does the same witg ALI.SAIE#who cares so sosososo deeply about the people in the inn at journey’s head and how they’ve been affected by the flood#the scions all feel a connection to the first for a unique reason. introducing you to each bit of the worldbuilding alongside them#AND THAT PATTERN. IS SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE THAN IF EVERYONE WAS NEW TO THE EVENTS. INSTEAD YOU ARE LED TO CARE THROUGH THEIR FAMILIARITY…….#efkdjzn ​i could word this better on a better day. it’s the setup it’s the setup…….. ahgkdnjf 💛💛💛
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thereareeyesinsidethetrees · 7 months ago
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last post for the night i swear
the real tragic part about the whole science fair incident is that perpetual motion is impossible to achieve
ford’s machine would have never worked, regardless of whether or not stan had interacted with it
(warning i accidentally wrote an approximately 30-tag dive into ford’s character in the tags don’t click see more if you don’t want to read that)
anyway!! good night everyone ❤️‍🩹
#it’s also tragic because ford didn’t know#the impossibility of perpetual motion was discovered far before that point and yet he didn’t know#i mean. ‘he’s actually just so arrogant that he thought he could break the laws of physics’ doesn’t make any sense#his reaction to the situation really didn’t match that interpretation as far as i can tell#i don’t think it’s just a ‘oh no! my dream school (that i was essentially shoved into pursuing)!’ type deal#here’s what i’m thinking:#fact one- stan and ford were seemingly already drifting apart by this point in time. this is important to note#fact two- it’s really emphasized to him that he’s smart. that’s all they say about him really- that’s he’s a genius#fact three- filbrick does not even care enough about stanford to say his name. he calls ford his ‘ticket out of this dump’#these last two points were likely heavily emphasized to him throughout his childhood#filbrick found out ford was smart and thought stan wasn’t. so ford became his plan to make money#ford is heavily bullied for his weirdness. his hands and his interests. being smart could ‘make up’ for this in his mind#he wants to leave. he outright states this- he doesn’t feel like he belongs and he wants to go somewhere he does (his own bermuda triangle)#so what essentially happened- i believe- is that ford internalized all these things#that his weirdness is bad and that he makes up for it by being smart and that he’s meant to make his family money-#-and that he wants out#his machine fails. this is a slap in the face to him. perpetual motion is impossible?#but why didn’t he know that? he’s supposed to be smart isn’t he? if he isn’t smart then what the hell is he?#what redeeming qualities does he have? how is he supposed to help his family now? he’s a failure isn’t he?#he spots a familiar bag. stan was here. suddenly he has an excuse- a reason to believe it wasn’t his fault#(and there’s really nothing to be at fault for but he doesn’t think that)#it’s easier to blame it on stan because of how distant they’ve grown. he can’t read stan as easily#and his reaction is suspicious- did he actually sabotage the project? is it…actually not ford’s fault at all?#they don’t speak to each other again for another decade#stan because he’s afraid of rejection#ford because he doesn’t want to face his own insecurities and emotions about everything#it’s easier to pretend that he wants to be famous and isn’t just doing it to make it his father money#and it’s easier to distract himself with things he loves than to feel all the guilt and hurt and frustration#and that. is perfect for bill to use to manipulate him#that’s my thoughts anyway. sorry for the rant was not expecting that to happen
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kittlyns · 19 days ago
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#my papa was diagnosed w lung and colon cancer. and he's too frail to do anything about it. so he's essentially just going to slowly die#they're not sure how long it'll take. or how advanced the cancer is. but it's there. and it will take him.#my grandma is also descending into bad dementia from her multiple traumatic brain injuries#it's gotten noticeably worse this past month#she needs to stop driving but I'm the only person in the family w a driver's license who can get to her#so if anyone was to pick up the slack it would be me.#aside from literally not having time nor money for that. I don't know how to handle this sort of grief#I'm 26 but I haven't come to terms w the fact that there is a quickly approaching day#where I'm going to wake up and my grandparents aren't going to be around any more#and I won't see them ever again.#I know I shouldn't borrow grief. but how do you avoid it.#and my granddad too.#and I can't really discuss this with anyone else. my siblings should be the ones that I could unpack this with#but bc of the age gaps between most of us they have an entirely different relationship with these people than I do#I remember everything. picking my granddad up from the airport. him giving me tootsie rolls. crying when we dropped him back off.#going fishing w my papa. bringing the fish back and watching my grandma gut and filet them. building a sandbox with him.#shelling pecans w my grandma. watching court tv while she made breakfast. her trying and failing to teach me how to swim.#it's not fair that I'm going to be the only person who remembers those things. and that to some degree I already am.
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chimeric-art · 2 months ago
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NOPE NOT DONE TALKING ABOUT IT
So generations pass, the Kindred are all but extinct, humans have spread to every habitable corner of the world, and now the human nations are struggling with the issues that come from overpopulation and the presence of a substance that can do Anything in high enough quantities.
In most places aether is a controlled substance, doled out by their respective governments according to the rules of that society. In some places it's considered a basic need, in others a luxury, in others a dangerous drug. In almost all cases, it's been diluted and is in such small quantities that magic of the past is assumed to be the stuff of fairy tales.
This timeline mostly centers around the city of Augustine, where aether is under the strict control of an agency which accepts applications for its distribution. If a person's application is appealing enough, they can be granted massive amounts of aether, more than most people could acquire in other places in the world. Accepted applications tend to be things in the realm of "ways to better society," such as medicine, agriculture, and so on.
Although the city is prosperous, there is a dark underbelly to the agency overseeing its aether, as well as the man in charge of it...
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theygender · 6 months ago
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What are you talking about. Exactly zero of these things are essentials
#i hate new cars sm man 😭#i cant even afford a car payment rn but i know i need to get a new car asap#bc my 11 year old ford exploder keeps having parts fail on me and also theres a concerning rust issue going on#so im looking into car options a lil bit so i can maybe get an idea of whats out there#once im done with my payments on like braces and other stuff and hopefully have a bit more wiggle room#and i was already not liking the idea of looking at New new cars bc like#i want buttons man. i dont want some touch screen bullshit thats gonna distract me while im driving you know?#i got spoiled with my 2003 and im worried what its gonna be like if i have to get a New car#so im looking into new car options for literally 5 seconds and immediately find this#'well the interior is made out of shitty fabric but at least it has essentials like [things i absolutely dont need or even want] :D'#like. everything there is completely unnecessary. and fucking ALEXA??#why would i want muskrat to be able to spy on me while im driving. wtf is this bullshit#maybe ill just need to look into used cars specifically but its always such a crapshoot#last time i bought a used car secondhand i ended up with something that broke down literally two days after i bought it#(only reason my current car was good when i got it was bc i bought it from my grandma)#i guess maybe a used car dealership might be better bc then at least i would have some accountability if they sell me something shit?#but i dont even know where to start looking when it comes to finding a used car that i would like...#and i dont exactly just wanna walk into a dealership clueless to see what they have there. i wanna be prepared so they cant fuck with me#idk. still gonna be a while until i can get to that point anyway#rambling#edit: just realized alexa is bezos not musk. but fuck em both i dont care. two heads of the same hydra
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scarletiswailing347 · 8 months ago
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thought of some really cool backstory for killer!zam for the dbl au but i Cannot tell if it clashes with the canon lore or not cause i havent looked into it enough yet
#mine.txt#c zam#au dbl#f ls#basiaclly survivor!zam got banished to the void after 6 months cause he just kept on dying#and it eventually made his mind just shut down and start dissociating#which the entity didnt like cause that meant he wasnt feeling things anymore#and eventually he turned into a haunt cause i assume survivors that got voided turn into haunts eventually??? idk it doesnt really say#and the void in the blight's lore cinematic doesnt really look like the one in the event#while the one in the observer's cinematic doesnt really point to much#and during halloween or whenever it canonically takes place during a rift opening event spoke managed to release him#which made him remember everything that happened to him in the trials and yanked him out of his dissociated state#which stirred some Extremely Strong and Extremely Homicidal feelings#which made the void go hmmm maybe i still have some use for this guy after all and brought him back from the void#but since hes a haunt he needs a lot of auric cells to reconstruct#which isnt a problem for the entity but its still way more than the average killer needs#idk what the logic of the visceral cankers and pustula flowers are since i cant really find anything other than they bloom during halloween#so i headcanon they appear in areas with a larger concentration of auric cells#and normally auric cells are too spread out to spawn them#hence why they only really show up in halloween since more consciential energy is built up in the entity since emotions are running high#(i mean all kinds of emotions not just despair cause just despair would be the void)#and since zam is essentially a walking talking auric concentration hes got them blooming all over him#i also headcanon the realms run on amok time so both survivor!zam and killer!zam are just running around at the same time#theyve got an isolated timeloop thing going on where survivor!zam keeps dying and turning into killer!zam#while killer!zam keeps running on heightened emotions until the toll of killing himself over and over again gets to him and he gets voided#at least until mapicc has had enough and decides to teach zam to be better at surviving#as opposed to leo and clowns method where they just kinda try (and fail) to shield him#so survivor!zam is more visibly traumatized now but can at least hold off his own#killer!zam meanwhile doesnt get fatigued from killing himself over and over again and doesnt get voided#the entity allows this cause it inflicts significant emotions in the survivors lol
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colourfullanguages · 1 year ago
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gotta love malaysia renaming bahasa melayu to bahasa malaysia to "be more inclusive" and promote it as a national language for all malaysians regardless of race only for nobody to actually call it bahasa malaysia because even scholarly articles just straight up call it bahasa melayu
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mars-ipan · 1 year ago
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btw i was Really Smart in communications today :]
#marzi speaks#i asked a question that stumped our professor and answered his questions well#i didn’t take a spotlight tho. i waited a fair bit or to be called on before answering#it’s weird for me#now that i’m in college i’m realizing just how crazy competitive my high school was#and like. i /knew/ it was competitive. but it was competitive in ways i didn’t even realize#like things were presented to me in a way where if i didn’t know everything i was doomed to fail from the start. i was fucked#i mean hell i wasn’t even top third of my class. 200 something in a class of 600 something people#but now i’m in college and i’m with my peers and i’m realizing like. actually i am pretty damn smart#i never thought i was /dumb./ i just never thought of myself as exceptional either#and i definitely have my struggles. my poly sci class is so fucking boring i Do Not Like It#but i’m realizing now that i’m a lot smarter than i’ve thought i was for the past… what six years? seven? ten?#a long time. essentially#and it feels WEIRD!! god it feels weird#i’m kind of afraid to be percieved as smart??#i think it’s tied to internalized misogyny. bc when i inspect that fear#i realize i don’t want to be reduced to a (sorry for hp reference) hermoine granger type of misogynistic caricature#it’s probably tied to how my mother (very smart) was regularly dismissed or even laughed at for her smarts#idk. when a guy is smart then it’s just cool.#when a girl (or girl-adjacent thing like myself) is smart then oh it’s levioSA not levioSARRRR sorry brainiac oh the WOMAN has an OPINION#stupid WOMEN and their stupid THOUGHTS. who let them think. etc etc#so idk. i’m worried that if i let myself recognize that i’m smart#instead of letting other people make the observation for me#that i’ll be seen as stuck-up. bossy. etc.#but if i don’t acknowledge that i’m smart who the hell will?#i think that a lesson my mother has been teaching me for my whole life is starting to be fully understood in my head#i should call her and talk about it. kinda wanna just talk to my mom in general#ANYWAYS. trying to let myself be proud of my smarts again. in a healthy way this time#without worrying about failure or impressions. because i am smart. i have a lot of ideas and i ask a lot of questions#i don’t need to explain my smartness to anyone. i can just be smart in this way. maybe that’ll get easier as i practice it
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leatherbookmark · 2 years ago
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my (probably easily solvable with just reading the necessary parts in the novel lol) problem with the post abt how it’s not that nmj doesn’t have any hobbies, it’s just wwx being unreliable, is... okay. “wwx knew this from the time my was working under nmj” -- how did he know this? was he close to them during that time? close enough to notice my’s attempts at finding nmj a hobby and nmj’s incompatibility with these? were there rumors about these that reached wwx’s ears? why would people talk about that, though? or did wwx come up with a random headcanon on the spot?
(i’m honestly puzzled by quite a number of things wrt the narration; often i can’t discern if the narration is from wwx’s pov, showing us what he knows, or if it’s omniscient narration that tells us the true state of things. in the first chapters of the novel, after wwx is brought back to life, a lot of the information feels too... informed to be wwx’s knowledge, unless he spends most of his time in inns gossiping with people, but also too flimsy/gossipy-sounding to be the Objective Truth.  that, or i’ve lost the ability to read lmao;;)
i do feel like empathy is less “a sequence of separate scenes shown by the deceased exactly as they want it” and more “the deceased sharing with wwx the state of having experienced their memories, with focus on the memories/feelings they want him to see”, though. nmj’s empathy sequence has time skips, sums up nmj’s dissastisfaction with his new deputy envoy without a concrete “scene” to illustrate it... therefore, my trying to “find nmj’s weakness/hobby” could be just something that happened between the lines that wwx/mxtx simply didn’t find important enough to describe earlier. it wouldn’t be surprising, considering other things that mxtx doesn’t consider necessary to write about.
wwx sure can misinterpret people’s activities, but i don’t see him coming up with a headcanon about something as mundane; he could have simply observed that nmj can taste “tea. that’s tea for sure, aye” regardless of the quality of the leaves, that he doesn’t care for wartime tension-relieving hookups or about the artistic properties of a calligraphy scroll. the “meng yao was trying his best to find something in nmj that he could exploit later” bit is a bit confusing again, because it talks about my’s intent that was somehow noticeable for either nmj or wwx or both. but then, i could easily imagine my trying to get nmj to relax, asking him how he unwinds and then trying to find something for him (and failing), or alternatively: nmj adding the “everything he did was to figure out my weaknesses to exploit my trust!” tint in, uh, post-production.
on the other hand, i also simply wonder if the 当年孟瑶在聂明玦手底下做事时魏无羡就见识过了 sentence has anything in the phrasing that would hint at how exactly wwx obtained the ~intel~: personally during the war or via empathy. hmm
in general though -- i don’t think that nmj having no hobbies other than practicing his saber is necessarily bad, or something a hater would say. dude seems like someone who’s busy as hell, and there’s a certain straightforwardness about him that just gives me the idea that he’d be... rather utilitarian in the things he does. he focuses on the saber training because the nie sect Does Sabers Here, sir, to the point that he doesn’t even go “okay whatever, my did is shit at the saber, let him be a diplomat instead” but constantly nags him about saber practice. practice your saber, and you’ll be a good sect leader, and you’ll be able to protect people and vanquish evil. functionality!
and if he sees a painting, well, does the painted mountain succeed at looking like a mountain? then it’s a good painting, he guesses. is the calligraphy legible? then it’s good. but are they useful? if it’s a book with lan rules, a map, a name of a pavillion or a motto for the disciples to live by -- then sure, but if it’s yet another poem about the beauty of flowers? eh, they’re fine. a character written on fancy paper solely to be beautiful? in what way is it going to influence you? it’s not? then why have it in the first place. an expensive fan painted by a master painter? you’d cool yourself down just as effectively with a blank, cheaper one. etc, etc
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aro-aizawa · 1 year ago
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nintendo saw ppl beating the end bosses in less than 30 mins with basically nothing in botw and went hm nah lets make it ten times harder w many more stages :)
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mishkakagehishka · 2 years ago
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Socialisation is key, i really am just like a bunny
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artificer-dice · 2 years ago
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Sometimes I feel like I have to reassure myself that I actually do know what I'm doing, I'm just sometimes trying something new, am just out of practice, or made a probably admittedly dumb mistake.
Imposter syndrome hits hard when things don't work right but the fact that I'm experienced enough to know what went wrong to fix it in the future or know a way to fix that mistake should also mean something.
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theladygazingatemptiness · 2 months ago
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me @ me: hoe don't kill this fish tryna be Mother Ocean
#wak#cher the fish mom#negative /#animal death ment /#tag vent /#I'm p sure part if not most of why the brine shrimp/Sea Monkey experiment failed#(aside from the fact that generic brine shrimp mortality rate is already high bc they're meant to be fish food but. Barely Relevant)#is bc all the time I'd think#'ok but. what if there isn't Enough food and they die'#'what if this isn't Enough conditioner and they die#'what if I haven't cleaned this Enough and they die'#and I meant well. I really really did and I genuinely thought I was doing the right thing#and as I've stated before I spent well over $200 trying to keep them alive#but. I end up letting my weird feelings get in the way and doing way too much and ruining Everything as a result#(not to mention the sheer lack of Brine Shrimp As Pets information out there Did Not help. Again Not An Excuse Just An Explanation)#(I Have No Excuse)#which is most Definitely not an issue exclusive to brine shrimp#but. it's one of them#like... I'm the person who after 20 salt shakes still thinks 'What If This Isn't ENOUGH Salt' and ends up making food completely inedible#plus I was thinking 'I'll Raise Them As Friends And Not Food!!' or w/e dumb fakecute shit I was thinking#but I had No Idea what I was doing and clearly wasn't qualified#and so rather than providing essential nutrients for people's pets they just ended up having to be put down drains and wasted#I'm going off on a tangent but.. the point is#me @ me: Play By The Fucking Book This Time. You Don't Know More Than Actual Fish Specialists So Don't Act Like You Do#If Experts Say Only Feed 4 Pellets A Day#Feed Only 4 MF Pellets A Day#Don't Make That Poor Animal Suffer Because You're Paranoid About Literally Everything Instead Of Being A Normal Well-Adjusted Person#And Because You Insist On Playing The Hero You Absolutely Aren't#The Brine Shrimp Didn't Deserve That And Neither Does Your Fish#So: Get Tf Over Yourself!! Do Tf Better!! And BE Tf Better!!
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disillusionedjudge · 8 months ago
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((I'll repost the thing about Myriel soon! I had some Thoughts about Gylfie and her ambition so now I'm trying to sort that all out and how it affected her ability to maintain relationships
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