#well in my defense - the author also was pondering about what is essentially a special interest for me in their authors notes and invited

[givemaycoffee]

Oh my god. I just wrote an essay in the comments of a fanfic and I was like Wow, I sure had a lot to say.

And then I remembered I actually took my adderall this morning XD

[realityhelixcreates]

Lasabrjotr Chapter 54: Give A Reason

Chapters: 54/? Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe Rating: Teen And Up Warnings: none Relationships: Loki x Reader (Getting There) Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor(Marvel) Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), How Do I Love Thee, Let Me Count The Ways. One: That Bangin’ Ass, Two-

Loki explores his feelings.

Loki was over the moon.

“She cares about me, Thor. Me specifically.” He was practically wiggling in smug excitement. “She confessed it to me, herself.”

“So you have said, brother. Several times. In the past hour.” Thor said, leafing through a book about metalurgy. “I am glad for you. This is progress in several ways.”

“Yes. She is coming to see my obvious superiority as a potential consort.”

“Possibly. I meant more that you are becoming someone that a human from her country could care about. That you are progressing, as a person. Look at all of the things you have been doing lately. Caretaking mortals, participating in their justice system, housing them, defending them. You know. Like a benevolent god.”

“I...” Loki paused. “I suppose I've come full circle, haven't I?”

“You're starting to see them as they are. We ignored them for so long, encouraged everyone else to do so as well. We didn't see them as they are, and it's one of Asgards lasting flaws.” Thor said. “We don't see anyone as they are. Look at these humans. Look at everything they have accomplished in their short time. For better and for worse. It's amazing. You're seeing them now, like I do. As people. People worthy of respect, of admiration. Of protection. Of love.”

“I still do not understand them. Do you think there is anything more I can do?”

“Stick with one project at a time.” Thor suggested. “You like to think big, but Earth is bigger still, and it will overwhelm you. Your longhouse project is a hit; stick with it until it is done.”

“I am thinking of asking the general populace for volunteers to help with the building.” Loki said. “I know all of our dedicated builders are tied up with city projects right now, but anyone who has time to spare and an interest in doing so, should be able to do simple things, like hauling soil, or stacking stones. Most of all, I want mingling. I want human and Asgardian to become acclimated to one another. It's going to happen sometime, so it might as well be soon. We should be building our bridges as early as possible.”

“Hm. I'm inclined to agree, though I think there should be some regulations. Einherjar to watch over them-”

“Perhaps a joint human-einherjar force?” Loki suggested. “Humans may never be able to match Asgardians, but they could still benefit from training with us.”

“Hm. You're right. However, humans tend to favor weapons like guns.”

“Yet we have both worked with a man who specialized in the use of a bow, and was far superior to most gunmen.”

“I think worked 'with' is a bit of a stretch on your part, brother.” Thor pointed out.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Yes, well.” He huffed. “All I am saying is that we know humans can learn to be extremely proficient in weapons that aren't guns. I do not believe the Icelandic government would allow us to authorize the use of firearms for non-Asgardian citizens anyway. But they have not disallowed the axes and swords that Trolekaerhalla brought with them, so I am assuming those are still legal.”

“Outside city limits, anyway.”

“Outside Icelandic city limits.”

Thor closed his book. “Oh, damn. I just thought of something.”

“I do not believe you.”

“Ha ha. We are thinking of building a permanent human settlement. On land that has not yet been granted to us.”

“Oh damn!” Loki echoed. “I keep thinking of that area as already granted, rather than 'potentially granted in the future, if expansion warrants it'.” What was 'future' to humans, was 'tomorrow' to them.

“We will have to consult the embassy.”

Loki groaned. The 'embassy' consisted of a cluster of small buildings across the river and to the north, from which a farm was also seasonally run. It was staffed by a rotating roster of minor officials, whose job was to 'oversee' Asgardian building and regulate their impact on the local environment. They were not particularly troublesome, and, except for a near obsessive concern with the health of the fens and the river, they did not bother Asgard with all that many demands. But it was an absolutely galling reminder of their fallen status that the king of the Shining Realm had to ask permission for anything, and from such minor officials.

There was an element of helplessness and subordination involved, and Loki despised it. They were going to need to accrue power quickly, if they were going to create and maintain relevance in this realm.

“I'll get a messenger ready.” He said.

“No, I'll go myself.” Thor offered. “Bring some clout to the conversation. Unless you'd like to go? You could bring your little lady with you, get her some experience in things like this.”

“Perhaps. That reminds me; I should send her father a gift.”

“You are getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?” Thor teased. “You haven't even asked for her hand yet.”

“Not like that, you wag!” Loki exclaimed. “It's just that when we first brought _____ here, we did not know that it was going to be permanent. But it is. We have found no cure yet for our co-dependent weakness. In that light, I have essentially taken his daughter from him, and into our household, so I owe him. You know that. Isn't that why you sent all that junk to Dr. Selvig?”

“Erik is not Jane's father, and it wasn't junk!” Thor protested. “It was Asgardian objects that were no longer needed!”

Loki gave him a long look.

“I see your point though. Perhaps you should send a gift.”

“Hm. Her father is a peasant who spends most of his time in a confined space with a cat. What would be suitable for such a man?” Loki pondered.

“No weapons.” Thor said. “No armor. Not only could he not make use of them, but customs would confiscate them immediately.”

“Surely a knife...” Loki began, but Thor shook his head. “Very well. Cloth? A bolt of fine silk, or linen. Wool? Surely we can provide something better than wool.”

“It's not a troth gift, Loki. Send him some cotton, and call it a day. There is no need to overthink this.”

“A careless gift can become an insult.” Loki said. “It may not be a troth gift, but I still want to convey to the man that I place his daughter at a high value, and that I haven't just absconded with her as if she were otherwise worthless. Perhaps I shall go with the linen. Or a heavy cotton. _____ tells me that her Iowa becomes very hot in the summer, and very cold in the winter. He could make use of both.”

“I do not think that anyone who has laid eyes on you lately could believe that you do not value her.” Thor teased. “Though some of the more jealous among them might wonder why she compels you so.”

“That is their loss. If they cannot see her many virtues, it is not up to me to enlighten them, though I might choose to do so anyway.”

“You have a list?”

“She has many virtues.”

“That is something I have been meaning to ask you about.” Thor said. “The nature of your affection for her. Where it springs from.”

“Are you questioning my feelings again?” Loki asked defensively. It was something Thor had been doing a lot these past few years. Loki realized that it was good for him to explore his emotions; a thing he was admittedly terrible at doing for himself. But when someone prodded him about it...

Well, he wasn't happy about it, but with someone guiding him, he could analyze internal issues that he would never have allowed himself to touch on his own.

“It is good for me to love my seidkona.” He said. “I'll be able to open up to her like I need to. This way, you don't need to shoulder the whole burden of my odious emotional instability.”

“It's not that much a burden. And you are being evasive.” Thor said.

“Of course I am.” Loki shot back. “I...I guess I'm just pleased to find that I am still able to feel this way at all. I do not wish to examine it too closely and find that it is somehow false.”

“Oh, I do not doubt it is real, and neither should you. Your feelings are your feelings, no matter what. What I believe we should examine is from whence these feelings have sprung, then we might better know how to proceed. That is, if you want to proceed.”

“Yes, I want to proceed!” Loki said. “Of course I want to proceed! The desire consumes every moment that I do not distract myself with something else.”

“Well, talk to me about it.” Thor prodded. “Do you know why you love her so? Is is guilt?”

“What? No!” Loki scoffed. “Any guilt I feel is completely separate from all this.”

“So this has nothing to do with effectively destroying her life, and taking her from everything that she loves and taking her from everyone that loves her. And that's absolutely not why you shower her with attention and prestige, and want to send a gift to her father. No guilt over what you did there. That's not why you want to build homes for Trolekaerhalla, in leu of helping to rebuild New York. Guilt absolutely does not drive your actions there either. I see.”

“Any guilt I feel is...partially separate from this.” Loki amended, face burning. “But it's not the only reason. I feel like she deserves much more than the world has allotted her, myself included. I see a potential in her that I would never have guessed hid in the depths of humankind.”

“Humans have caused you much trouble in the past.” Thor pointed out. “The Hulk flung you about like a toy, the Captain held his own in battle with you.”

“The Hulk is a special case.” Loki said. “All of your little company are. Or, at least, I used to think so. But she had nothing, you understand? No advantage. She hadn't the hoard of wealth, nor the high education, nor the job with a powerful organization, nor the exposure to scientific innovations that all of your Avengers did. And yet, she is this. If this potential exists in her, the most common of humans, might it be in them all? Fascinating. Horrifying. And so, so intriguing.

But that's not the only reason either. Outside of my feelings regarding her species and magic, she has great virtues of her own. Her mind is hungry, so much so that I fear if I were not by her side, her curiosity would lead her to destruction. She doesn't lack ferocity or courage when they are needed, but she also balances that with such compassion. I find that impressive, with everything she's been through.”

“It doesn't have anything to do with her being the only woman to show you affection in some time?”

Loki's face went even redder. “No...There were a few on Sakkar...but I refused their advances.”

“Really? Why?” Thor remembered the people of Sakkar as being very odd, but not altogether repulsive.

“Lack of trust, and a distinct cultural difference. To them, the fact that they could be exiled or executed at literally any moment led them to a hedonistic, live-in-the-moment lifestyle. Nothing meant anything to them. They didn't truly care about anything, and couldn't be trusted for anything.

But _____ cares. She cares about so much. Things have meaning to her, as they have to me. Maybe none of our troubles would have come about if I just hadn't cared so damn much. But I do. And that care has gathered her up into it now, wrapped like a cloak about her shoulders. I can no longer see myself without her.”

“Yes, you were besotted mere days after meeting her.” Thor pointed out. “Perhaps you were just ready. You are getting to that age where a man wishes to settle down and think of family.”

“I am younger than you!”

“Barely. But...That is another thing to think about. You will need to tell her.”

Loki pressed his lips together tightly, making an irritated sound through his nose. He knew that. He wasn't going to do it, not until he couldn't put it off any longer.

“Have you been looking at yourself? Like Sjofn suggested?”

“Yes, but I still don't see the point. I find it no less repulsive for looking upon it more often.”

Thor shrugged. “Sjofn has always been wise when it comes to these kinds of things. You know.”

“I know. I just don't see it, that's all. I wish I did.”

“Maybe _____ will. Speaking of, do you have any plans?”

“Your party is very soon. I thought I might dance with her.”

“And?”

“And make nice with your Avengers. Or at least try to. I feel Stark shall never be friendly with me, but she might be impressed. I would like to kiss her, should she allow it. The last time was...not ideal. I can do better.”

“She makes you want to do better?”

Loki nodded, and Thor smiled.

“I think that is how it is supposed to work.”

                                                                          ******

You swept the fancy green dress Loki had given you in wide circles around the room. There was going to be a party tonight! People were already arriving: Tony Stark had landed an advanced aircraft right on top of the former site of the militant camp, and he had brought others with him. More had come across the river. They were all unmasked, and causing great excitement in the city. Saldis had been talking about it nonstop.

You were starting to get the impression that she had a special interest in humans.

She helped you dress and did your hair, blabbing about their fashion, and strangeness, and beauty. Perhaps Andsvarr was going to have some competition soon.

You had worn this dress before, but only for Loki. It was still scandalously low-cut, in your opinion, but easily the fanciest thing you'd ever owned. Of course, this was going to be a fancy party, so you had to be dressed your best.

What did one do at a fancy party? Waltz about in a great big ballroom? Eat little appetizers off silver trays? Or did the rich and powerful get completely faced just like everybody else?

You'd probably better warn everyone about the crystal mead.

“These are the most important people of your world. Do you think they would speak with a servant?” Saldis asked anxiously.

“What? Of course!” You said, putting on some of your personal jewelry. It was cheap and fake, but you didn't honestly see how anyone could tell the difference. Besides, your dad had gotten you most of this, for birthdays and Christmases over the years. That was the real treasure, wasn't it? “I mean, they talk to me every week, and I'm a nobody.”

“How is it that you still think that?”

“Habit, I guess.” You shrugged. “I've never felt like I really meant anything before, and it's hard to adjust my thinking. It sorta comes and goes; one moment I feel proud of everything I've done, and the next I feel like a complete impostor.”

“I understand that. They warn us not to fall for the nobles, because we wouldn't know how to live their lives, but I feel like that's a sham so the nobles can keep their sons and daughters as bargaining chips in political marriages. But that shouldn't be a problem anymore.” She added, noticing your disgusted expression. “Allfather Odin started phasing that out before I was born, and it seems like Allfather Thor is going to continue his work.”

“His Highness is in accord.” You said. “He told me so. It still grosses me out though. But if you want to go talk to some Avengers, I don't see why you shouldn't. Besides, aren't you kind of falling for a noble yourself?”

Saldis cleared her throat. “Well. If it works out, yes. But if it doesn't, neither of us are exactly hurting for potential suitors. It's just that we like each other best. Just like you and the prince.”

You sputtered. “What? No, we're not-”

“It's fine, everybody knows.” Saldis said. “I heard the Valkyries gossiping about it, and the general didn't tell them to stop. That's how you know that she knows it's true.”

“Everybody doesn't know anything.” You insisted. “Me and Loki aren't a thing.”

“Which is why he had that dress made for you, and why you moon at him every time you think no one is looking. Someone's always looking.”

“I don't moon...” You said. “Wait what was that about the dress?”

“It's very fine. A courtier's dress, to reflect your position as advisor, that you belong in the court with him. That's quite a statement. If you ask me, he's been making that statement for some time.”

“No way.”

“Perhaps. Perhaps not. The prince has always been hard to read, but the emotion that he does show seems quite genuine.”

“You really think so? Other people think so?” There was no way. But if it was true, if it was true...certain things were falling into place. But there was no way, was there? No way it could work. You couldn't dare to hope.

Could you?

[thomasyirawala9-blog]

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[othersportsnews-blog]

For Aaron Rodgers, drive to prolong vocation will come from soccer 'love affair' - ESPN Wisconsin Weblog

New Post has been published on https://othersportsnews.com/for-aaron-rodgers-drive-to-prolong-vocation-will-come-from-soccer-love-affair-espn-wisconsin-weblog/

For Aaron Rodgers, drive to prolong vocation will come from soccer 'love affair' - ESPN Wisconsin Weblog

9:24 AM ET

Jason WildeESPN.com

Close

Included the Packers due to the fact 1996

On-air host at ESPN Milwaukee and ESPN Madison

Two-time Wisconsin Sportswriter of the 12 months as selected by the Countrywide Sportscasters and Sportswriters Association

Environmentally friendly BAY, Wis. — Aaron Rodgers has fallen in adore all over again.

No, we’re not talking about the as soon as fiercely private Environmentally friendly Bay Packers quarterback’s particular existence, which continues to be fodder for leisure magazines and gossip websites. This “adore affair” — his phrase — is much more of a rekindling of a passion that has been inside him due to the fact he was an eighth-grader playing for the Chico Jaguars in his indigenous Northern California.

To be crystal clear, the two-time NFL MVP never ever shed his zest for the activity. People who viewed him up near through final season’s operate-the-desk, 8-activity earn streak — or have been on the acquiring close of a person of his stern admonishments after a psychological blunder — can notify you his depth hasn’t waned.

But as the Packers kick off training camp Thursday early morning — Rodgers’ thirteenth in the NFL and 10th as the team’s starting off quarterback — Rodgers does so with a better appreciation for the journey that is about to commence anew.

“I consider it is a improve, a slight improve that happened the final few yrs, where it truly has grow to be just a adore affair,” Rodgers reported in an offseason interview on Wilde & Tausch on ESPN Wisconsin. “From [becoming] a activity I always enjoyed playing and enjoyed competing and am hyper-aggressive [in] to just truly loving the course of action even much more — the follow, the planning, just making the most of all those moments even much more.”

Aaron Rodgers is entering his thirteenth NFL period and 10th as the Packers’ starting off quarterback. Todd Kirkland/Icon Sportswire

The end result? The male who employed to say he wouldn’t be an NFL lifer, who did not see himself playing soccer past 36 or 37 yrs aged, now has patterns on playing into his 40s. He’ll turn 34 in December, and influenced by his close friend Tom Brady, the seemingly ageless New England Patriots quarterback, Rodgers thinks himself capable of playing for one more ten years. Brady, who has led the Patriots to five Super Bowl titles, turns 40 following 7 days.

“[That sensation] has variety of specified me the thought that this is what I want to do. I adore soccer, and I want to hold playing as prolonged as possible,” Rodgers reported. “And when you have that variety of slight change in your pondering, then you commence going to, ‘How can I do that?’ And the way you can do that, in my viewpoint, is having treatment of oneself at a hyper-sensitive stage to all the places that that involves — the rehab area, the eating area, the workout/concentrate area. And all all those merged have variety of specified me the thought that I might like to hold playing at a higher stage, as pleasurable as it is ideal now.”

You are what you try to eat

To that close, Rodgers intensified his offseason exercises and made some changes to his routine, alterations he wouldn’t especially focus on but types supposed to improve his longevity and longevity. (Whilst Rodgers missed 7 games in 2013 with a damaged collarbone, he has missed just a person other activity thanks to harm as a starter.)

He has also grow to be borderline obsessive about his diet regime, and while he hasn’t authored a cookbook or established his own house food supply assistance like Brady, he is religiously following Packers director of effectiveness diet Adam Korzun’s nutritional tips — past his consideration-grabbing decision to give up dairy awhile again.

“Tom usually takes truly, truly excellent treatment of his system and has for a prolonged time. He understands what it usually takes to get that longevity,” reported Rodgers, who documented to the offseason plan in April in the ideal shape of his vocation. “I attempt to operate out at minimum five periods a 7 days through the offseason, but truly the crucial as you get more mature is your diet regime.

“I’m receiving more mature, [so] you have to be smarter about what you happen to be eating. So for me, you can find a better consciousness about what you happen to be eating and then how the things you happen to be eating influence your power and your skill to melt away extra fat and just variety of your day-to-day quality of existence when it will come to your wellness.”

That has meant offering up some of his favorites, like Lady Scout cookies.

“I adore ’em. C’mon. Give me the crimson box, the environmentally friendly box … the Samoas,” Rodgers reported with a laugh. “But [eating them was a little something] I could do when I was youthful, when your metabolic rate is a minor greater and you happen to be ready to bounce again more quickly. But when you get more mature and you’ve got begun a good deal of soccer games and taken a good deal of hits, for me, I just really feel superior when I’m eating a much more plant-centered, natural diet regime — things that’s grown in the ground. I just really feel healthier.”

Thoughts above subject

For Rodgers, while, what he is eating is only part of the equation. The much more essential change, he states, has been in his pondering, a little something his predecessor remembers battling with as very well.

“The greatest obstacle to me — and I hate to say ‘drudgery’ — was just the day to day grind,” Professional Football Corridor of Fame quarterback Brett Favre, whose sixteen seasons in Environmentally friendly Bay provided 3 with Rodgers as his backup (2005 by 2007), recalled in an interview before this month. “It was not a physical grind. For [men] who had to set on pads and had to bang each and every working day, it would wear on you. For a quarterback, specially the starter — and Aaron possibly is going by this in his mind — it is a [psychological] grind.

Aaron Rodgers was Brett Favre’s understudy for 3 yrs. AP Photograph/Morry Gash, File

“There is a selected stage of competitiveness in you which tends to make you excellent, and Aaron naturally has that, that when you move out on the follow area each and every working day, you want to be the ideal. There is just an monumental quantity of force that you set on oneself, an day to day plan that you have to go by, that becomes occasionally virtually as well significantly.

“There were being periods I was like, ‘I just never want to be Brett Favre right now. I just want to be ordinary.’ Having individuals tugging at you each and every working day, ‘You’ve bought to do this at 3, you’ve got bought to do this at eleven, you’ve got bought to do this,’ and together with that, the force and expectations that you set on oneself occasionally are virtually unachievable. It commences to wear on you. But that goes with the territory if you enjoy a prolonged time and have monumental levels of just … greatness. It really is a excellent matter, but that, to me, is what wore on me much more than something.”

People who know Rodgers ideal say the frame of mind adjustment, which they commenced to recognize a yr or two back, has been delicate, a person that other folks at Lambeau Discipline possibly haven’t picked up on.

“His adore for the activity will never ever improve, but I consider at periods when you grow to be an founded, elite player, you want to obtain different approaches to motivate oneself,” quarterbacks coach Alex Van Pelt reported.

One of Rodgers’ most loved areas of activity months, Van Pelt reported, has grow to be the obstacle of going by the opponent’s blitzes and the Packers’ corresponding checks, then talking to teammates about slight route changes.

“I consider part of it is the force of follow is way fewer for me. As [a] young player, you set so significantly into all those reps, specially since you never get that quite a few of them, and it is not pretty as pleasurable since each and every enjoy is so essential to you [proving oneself],” Rodgers reported. “When that variety of goes away and you happen to be an founded player and you can commence functioning on minor things inside of plays, inside of segments of follow, anything becomes a good deal much more pleasant. Simply because then it becomes a chess match out there — not only with the defense that you happen to be looking at, but with oneself.”

Or, as Van Pelt set it: “For him, receiving to Sunday is the bonus. I consider he truly, certainly enjoys the course of action.”

‘Be an irreplaceable part’

In some approaches, Rodgers’ slightly altered outlook is a survival mechanism. Presented the Packers’ constant roster turnover, which leaves them amid the NFL’s youngest teams yr-in and yr-out, Rodgers could very easily mature discouraged and distant. Alternatively, while crestfallen by a number of current veteran totally free-agent departures (guard T.J. Lang, exterior linebacker Julius Peppers, fullback John Kuhn), he has redoubled his initiatives to connect with gamers who were being in elementary school when he was a rookie.

Aaron Rodgers sees himself capable of playing for one more ten years. AP Photograph/Matt Ludtke

“He is taken it to one more stage this yr,” coach Mike McCarthy reported. “We are performing some new things from a training standpoint, as significantly as fundamentals, and he is ideal there [telling the young men], ‘Hey, this is how I did it, this is how it felt, this is why …’ Simply because, like something in existence, when you teach someone a little something, if you can notify them what the problems are just before they make them, that’s a huge training resource. And he is been excellent that way.”

Rodgers’ aggressive fire, which is legendary inside the creating, may well also be a aspect. Having had a entrance-row seat for the Packers’ messy divorce from Favre through the summer time of 2008, Rodgers has come to look at it as a cautionary tale — a person he can stay clear of residing himself by making guaranteed he never ever provides the Packers a cause to transfer on from him.

“I consider as you get more mature, and you see a good deal of your good friends transfer on, retire, get minimize, get injured and cease playing, you have that point where you consider about your own vocation and how prolonged you can go,” Rodgers reported. “And for me, I bought even much more enthusiastic to be an irreplaceable part of our group.

“In performing that, I also, I consider, begun to truly have a better consciousness of my surroundings and take pleasure in the minor things much more — the planning, the conferences, the follow. And when you happen to be loving all those things, the activity is truly icing on the cake for you.

“I adore to contend and adore to enjoy. So for me, it was a natural development to take pleasure in it even much more and to want to enjoy it as prolonged as I can at a higher stage.”

Editor’s observe: Jason Wilde addresses the Environmentally friendly Bay Packers for ESPN Wisconsin and hosts “Wilde & Tausch” with previous Packers offensive lineman Mark Tauscher weekdays on ESPN Milwaukee and ESPN Madison.

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