#small talk is the way to do that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

borgevino · 10 months ago

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the allergy i am seeing grow up around small talk in any form is troubling to me. do you know how to make friends with people in your physical environment? it typically starts with small talk. do you want to live in community? small talk. do you want to have the type of relationship with your neighbors where you can run over and borrow a battery for your smoke detector when it starts beeping at 10pm? small talk!! do you want leeway from your coworkers when you fuck up something small? you gotta be able to build a relationship and that's small talk, baybeee.

"but i don't need friends and i don't care about community!" okay, lone ranger, what about the people in your community who need you? "but i have social anxiety!" me too, bud! we simply must soldier on. making up lists of questions to ask people helps. and people are predisposed to be generous, i've found. even if you make some kind of mistake, what is this but the natural give and take of human interaction? nobody is perfect.

you were not put on this earth to live by yourself and then die. you need people and people need you. treat those around you with curiosity and generousness of spirit and you will gain so much goodwill in return.

#my pharmacist spotted me a weeks worth of meds once when mine were in a building closed for asbestos #because we'd been doing small talk for a couple of months and had a rapport #this is not emotional labor btw. in no way is 'doing small talk' emotional labor. dont say that.#edification #community is a garden

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wordsmithic · 1 year ago

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Never understood people who are like 'oh I hate making small talk we shouldn't be expected to" like trust me your inability to carry a basic conversation is more exhausting to the other person than it is to you

#I hope you don't mind me using your tags but they're just so on point #like how are you going to get to big-talk if you don't start from somewhere??#the overlap between people who only want “deep conversation” and people who can't continue a basic conversation is huge #self awareness is key #and why am *I* expected to continue the conversation out of thin air several times in a row???#news flash: you also have to show that you care about the people you care about #people are not mind readers #small talk is the way to do that

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voiider · 7 months ago

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I need codependent Danny/Jason as a little treat (for me) and I love the idea of them having some sort of instant connection the moment they meet (bc ghost stuff idk)

Danny who's been dropped in Gotham with no way home (alt universe??) and he's been here for 36 hours and having a Very bad time senses a liminal being and immediately latches onto them heedless of the fact that his new best friend is shooting at some seedy guys in an alley and goes off about how stressed he is and how he can't make it back to the ghost zone and what a bad day he's been having (and it's important to note Danny is a littol ghost boy literally hanging off of Jason's neck as he floats aimlessly) and Jason is like "who are you??" And Danny is like "oh sorry I'm Danny lol" and then just continues lamenting his woes

And honestly ? This might as well happen. Nothing about this Danny guy(is he human?) gives Jason a bad vibe and tbh he's never felt more calm and level headed before so he just keeps up his usual Red Hood patrol and doesn't even think about it when he heads back to a safehouse and feeds Danny dinner (breakfast) before crashing for half the day

The only thing I actually need is Jason meeting up with the bats for some sort of Intel meeting and they're like "uhhh who's that" and Jason is like "that's Danny." And does not elaborate (very ".... What do you have there?" "A smoothie" vibes)

And it takes them a while to realize that these two have known each other for less than 12 hours and are literally attached at the hip

#very remora fish with a shark #jason todd #danny fenton #danny phantom #dpxdc #dp x dc #this isnt super important but i imagine Danny's ghost form as young and unaged from his death so jason is used to this small whispy kid #who just hangs off him and talks literally all the time #so when something comes up and someone is like 'idk if we can bring danny looking like... that' (glowing and a literal ghost)#danny is like 'oh ok u need a human? ok :)' and transforms #its been WEEKS #jason didn't know he could do that #nobody did #and now theres this 20ish dude standing there #human form danny doesn't talk a lot (anxiety) ghost form danny can't stop talking (anxiety)#could be a ship fic and at this point jason goes from 'where is my little buddy :(' to 👀😳#i imagine theres a sort of feedback loop with them both feeding off of each other's ecto energies and vibes idk #so when danny is human its not as strong #batman is convince this strange entity is like hypnoyizing his son and like hes not WRONG #but it goes both ways #idk #i just need more codependency fics :(#i should go on a bender #ignore my 500 open tabs and go to town

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dykedvonte · 13 days ago

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Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.

We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.

Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.

He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?

I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?

#like curly is very much does his job goes home takes care of self repeat i dont think hes like an asocial person but he doesn't take the tim #time to indulge in himself the way he thinks hes a bigger picture guy so as long as nothing is disrupted hes relatively okay even if its #slowly chipping away at him and making him feel hollow like he thought space was endless that he could never reach a point of feeling finis #he never had to predict what to do after the end and suddently he realizes there was no end to it because there cant be an end to nothing #hes accomplished so much objectively but hes done nothing with his life outside of his work like he mentions no hobbies other friends or an #thing of the sort he doesn't even feel like he can vent it cause what? hes complaining about how hard it is to get promoted to have securit #in a job you hate and a position that keeps weighing you down like I feel like if he explained himself at the party and didn't let Jimmy t #talk for him hed actually have made points the others would get cause even if they envied his position he still is justified in being unhap #not everything that you think would bring you happiness does or fulfills even a small part of that desire #idk hes a lot more fucked in the head but like towards himself than people realize like how he lets Jimmy treat him is indicitive of that i #mouthwashing #mouthwashing game #captain curly #curly mouthwashing

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rufuslupislupis · 1 month ago

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So, did everyone see K doing the work of a team of people for four days straight and just decide that was a normal thing for them to have done and not, like, INCREDIBLE thematic work.

Like. The problem is not that K is self-centered or that K is selfish or even that K is a dumbass. The problem is that K has never learned how to champion a cause. K has been trying to fix the world, not just Evan, and the whole *gestures* thing with his arm is not just about their ‘I can fix him’ mindset.

It’s ‘I can fix everything.’ It’s ‘I can fix what I SPECIFICALLY broke.’ Magic is gone because K wanted to have a world full of wonder and hope. Like, Evan’s lack of healing is directly followed by magic breaking, and that is why K is so desperate to fix it. Look at what K has been doing to fix what they have broke, look at how Teddy’s been forced to stay inside and how K has actively deteriorated. It’s not just about this one thing! The character flaws go so deep.

It is not normal to do what K has been doing. It is actively detrimental to do what K has been doing to themself. K fucks up (or at least perceives themselves has having fucked up) and then K takes a big, risky swing to fix the fuck up and then that fails, too and K has to fix it again so K takes another try…

The ARGs and the trench coat look and Teddy in a room all day and K not eating enough. Those are a big swing too. Those are a big, flashy way to fix things because again K has not learned how to champion a cause, K did not properly recover from Terminal Onlineness even if they did learn how to stop viciously bullying people for bad opinions.

K has a deeply admirable, genuine desire to help and the way K chooses to help is Big Swings and the rules of the world have changed. The rules of the world have changed. This is NOT Big Swings time, this is buckle down and work at small goals and focus in time.

Evan tried to help and failed too. But what Evan tried to help with was a t-shirt, not a broken arm, and so the consequence was nothing but an errant bird.

#k tanaka #‘it’s protagonism’ absolutely but not in the way you seem to think #think SMALL not BIG #this is the whole thing. whole fricking thing #also why is nobody talking about how absolutely amazing this was for erica to have down #thank you kindly ms ishii you stirred the pot so fucking good that the pot broke in two and everyone is screaming #mismag #mismag 2 #dimension 20 #ohh man parallel to the cauterization in mismag 1 actually #dunno what to do with that but its tasty tasty tasty #IDK this is just a lot of thoughts

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

#warm up #writeblr #i spent a lot of time picturing our future #how funny to think: in each version of our future #i was never myself #i was someone smarter kinder braver #better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me #i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me #people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy #the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made #it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else #i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO #SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness #you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.

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a-shade-of-green · 1 month ago

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do you think it was weird for mike to go to california and experience his first byers family dinner in months just for it to be far too similar to wheeler family dinners

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midwinterwings · 6 months ago

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RULES OF BEING OTHERKIN #1

Being authentic and true to yourself is the only way you are 'supposed to be/act like' (insert entity). If anyone else disagrees it only tells you about them.

#going to start a small 'series' where I document stuff I learn that is otherkin specific. This is for myself as well as anyone who might #be struggling with things I used to/am working on(otherkin specific). hopefully this will reduce any mental pitfalls other otherkin may #fall into as they explore their identity and help out someone.#this 'rule' took a LONG time to fully understand and grasp. for the longest time I would consciously or subconsciously #think I was less Loki if I did or was something 'Loki would never do. until i realized I do exactly and experience exactly what Loki does #and experiences because...Im literally Loki. (talking about incarnations here). I felt pressured to be a certain way because 'Loki would #never (insert). being aroace is on of them. i tried to convince myself I wasn't aroace #and when I finally ran out of reasons i felt i was 'less Loki' because mythologically hes like the opposite. but Loki IS aroace. because #Im Loki. and Im aroace. so loki is SUPPOSED to be aroace because Im loki and im being exactly how loki is being. because im loki. being #myself. therefore being exactly like Loki. again - incarnation.#anyway....if anyone else struggles with this I hope this helps someone. its a really sucky place to be in honestly.#godkin #deitykin #alterhuman #otherkin #divinekin #nonhuman #alterbeing #therian #I think I will be learning a LOT more as I keep exploring and I will note down any 'rules' I learn - more like lessons but rules personally #sound more right for me. rules i will live by (yknow unless i find out im wrong but...im going to trust myself more and right now i feel #like this rule is true. so im using it as such unless i find out im wrong in future.

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jojo-schmo · 11 months ago

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My job is burning around me and I’m only seen as an expendable cog in a giant corporate machine, but at least I have Helpy to lend a brightly colored hand!!! <3

#am I talking about fazbear entertainment or my irl job? nobody knows #what I do know is today I found out we’re getting a salary increase freeze for 6 months at least #which in corporate speak probably means a year or more #and restructuring of the company may happen after that #who needs a livable wage? not me obviously #anyway I just needed my small pink boy to cheer me up and it helped a lil #it was fun drawing his blush that way I may keep doing that. hehe #and he must have pretty pink eyeshadow #I’ll be all good in a few days just processing my life asmkcpjsdklc #my baby bear my little skrunkly guy…..#I need a plush of him to kiss on the forehead…#fnaf #fnaf help wanted #help wanted 2 #five nights at freddy's #helpy #fnaf helpy #art

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jasperthejester · 2 months ago

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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to

my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can

me:

#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong #which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general #but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that #—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something #so yeah small crisis woo #i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though #because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things #but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd #so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up #ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before #so progress i guess #wow long rant in the tags whoops #jasper’s posts #moots have some jaz lore i guess

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that-butch-archivist · 4 months ago

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Making a birthday cake for a friend tonight (something I haven't done for a while), and I forgot how much I love baking & cake decorating. I'll post pics when I'm done, I'm very excited. 🥰

#archivist talk #the archivist regrets starting nursing school #the archivist #the archivist is a tad stressed but also this fun thing is happening so that's just dandy #i think i might have to give up on the kitchen being a place where one can sit and eat #i never use it for that personally #not because i don't want to #it just lacks the space for it and i don't have a real dining room #(my kitchen is long and narrow)#if i can figure out a good reasonable way to re-arrange the living room such that i can have both a living room AND a small dining corner #i may do that #however given the amount of bookshelves i've got going on & all my other lusts i imagine this won't happen #le sigh #i love my apartment so much #i think if i had a small dining area/dining room that would make the kitchen perfect #and if i had a den that i could put my desk/file cabinet/all adulting work in #that would free up my bedroom to be even more coquettish & focused #and also entirely comfortable #that would change a lot actually goddamn #but alas this building is not going to change #so maybe if one day i could afford a 2 bedroom that had a den .... bonus points if it has wood floors #and those arched doorways that i so love #i would be in heaven #i have to finish nursing school so i can pay for things with less stres #and also help my siblings more #and then maybe so i can get a nice home that would be super cool #but for now i must simply chill as they say

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tempestmothstorm · 2 months ago

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crazy how the sanshee plush is one of the few actual direct confirmations on what a non-act 2 Natsuki’s home life is like because of how cagey she is on literally everything. Like this isn’t anything surprising or something you wouldn’t be able to extrapolate from the games but unlike everything else we know about her the implications are right there on the tin.

They literally did the character bio trope where where all the likes are normal but the dislikes are about their very specific trauma it’s just so funny they did that on the plushie card

#the thing is the rest of the bios are mostly normal it’s just this one with the yellong part why did they do that #idk if I’m stupid or forgot the yelling thing being shown directly in a non-act 2 context but I at least appreciate the confirmation #since I might just be mixing up fanon and canon considering 90% of what we know with Natsuki’s whole deal is interpolated from small tidbits #but like trying to understand anything about non act 2 Natsuki’s background is so funny because she doesn’t like to talk about anything #so all we know about her home life is by comparing her to act 2 and the secret poem plus psychoanalysing her thoughts and actions #is like the secret poem says Monika definitely made her dad worse but the problem is we don’t know how much #anyways and for all we know her dad could range from somewhat average dad to should be put on a watch list #and sometimes there’s dialogue like the one in self love about Natsuki worrying about her friends retaliation #and it’s probably meant to act as a confirmation to whether there’s physical abuse considering how out of left field the question is #but like it could be interpreted either way so it’s basically just Schrödinger’s physical abuse for no reason #I’m not criticizing or anything I think the characters being able to hold secrets is cool and ambiguity is awesome #and the choice to keep the ambiguous is intentional since the characters only share what their comfortable with #but I just need to vent about that one line in self love ok #like idk if I’m just stupid but there’s multiple interpretations but it’s seemingly both a decomfirmation and confirmation #idk it’s weird but her dad yelling at her enough to make it one of her dislikes is at least something in terms of actual evidence #damn it I put a paragraph in the tags again I’m sorry gang I’m not moving it #ddlc #doki doki literature club #tempestmothtalk

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gayspacemonk · 1 year ago

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the thing is, the "I would eat my arms and legs for zoro" scene wasn't just for shits and giggles. yes, it was to show just how devoted luffy is to his friends, but it also shows how he's naturally an great captain that he immediately understands zeff and says without hesitation "oh yeah I would do that and beyond for my crew"

#zolu #it's the small things #i really like how luffy was portrayed in the live action i could talk about it for hours #i know it's different from his portrayal in the anime but also i think it kinda had to be this way #like in anime an constantly high energy character such as luffy works just fine but in live action it doesn't make much sense #anyway i think iñaki did a great job and on that stance i do not accept different opinions i will fight you #opla #one piece #one piece live action #also bc hes madly in love w zoro but we all knew that already

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kairospy · 1 year ago

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Just saying,

James is the spoiled one in the relationship. He’s used to getting all he wants because Effie and Monty would indulge his every whim. He’s dramatic as shit, loud, confident, but so theatrical about it.

Regulus is the more quiet one (though not shy or insecure AT ALL. This man was meant to inherit an empire and associate (if not better) the most powerful wizards, be honest with yourself, he was be confident and stoic), and if he wanted something, he had to take it for himself seeing as his parents mostly focused on Sirius for 15 years. He’s independent.

To summarise: Regulus wears the pants in the relationship and James is just happy to be there and be pampered and be bought nice things. Regulus calls him ‘love’ and he’s gone. He wears Reg’s jumpers when he’s home alone. He’s pathetically whipped and would let Reg do anything to him. James cooks so well and makes Reg a different dish each week bc this man is used to house elf menus and that wont cut it. Regulus stands behind him, chin on his shoulder arms around his waist asking about ingredients, and James just about fucking dies—