#which in corporate speak probably means a year or more

[jojo-schmo]

My job is burning around me and I’m only seen as an expendable cog in a giant corporate machine, but at least I have Helpy to lend a brightly colored hand!!! <3

[miupow]

ℌOℓเ𝔇AY 𝔇ECOɌATเNɠ ⸝⸝ 휴닝카이

asking your favorite i.t guy for help decorating goes horribly (or perfectly) wrong. 一 𝒾n 𝓌hich you and your coworker huening kai get stuck in a closet together during a snowstorm。

⧼ 🎄 ⧽ 一 𝓅airing・hueningkai x fem!reader 𝓰enre/𝓌arnings・smut, fluff, pwp, nsfw, minors do not interact! trapped in a closet trope, power outages, sex with the lights off, groping, breast worship, nipple sucking, dry humping, handjobs, clitoral stimulation, unprotected sex, pullout method, vaginal sex, cumshot, cum marking, begging, slight sub!kai but not really, praise kink, size kink, resolved romantic and sexual tension 𝓌c ・5. 9 k | 𝓉o 𝓁ibrary.

[𝓃otes。] holy shit this is so much longer than i meant for it to be. i was just possessed by some sort of demon and wrote this thing in two days, which is the fastest i've ever written anything ever... thank you @jellymochii for betareading! hope you all enjoy this cute little fic while on your holiday breaks ^_^

no one had ever bothered to warn you about how difficult it was to plan a party. maybe if someone had, you wouldn’t have jumped at the opportunity when it had been presented to you— though it was awfully in your nature as a corporate kiss-ass to accept any work-related project that was offered to you in blind hope that you’ll manage to impress some higher-up somewhere along the line. you had only been hired at txt bank a few months ago, anyway, and the lady you replaced was the one who oversaw all the holiday decorating. didn’t that mean, technically speaking, that by association it was now your job too? either way, you figured that it would do you some good to prove yourself dependable.

“i’m sure you’ll do great,” your boss, yeonjun had reassured you with a not-so-comforting pat on the back. “don’t be afraid to ask for help!”

you were terrified to ask for help. you didn’t even know most of your coworkers’ names yet, let alone feel comfortable enough with them to ask for help with a benefit-less side quest. it might just be paranoia, but you were sure they wouldn’t want to help you even if you did ask. the old financial analysist seems to have been a popular staple in the office, and you were a far cry away from the life of the party. young, inexperienced, and far too shy for your own good— you’ve never had any of your peers reach out to you for more than letting you know what you were doing wrong. yeonjun’s assistant, beomgyu, was the only person in the bank you felt even remotely comfortable with, having known him since you were a freshman in college, and without his mentoring and his happy-go-lucky attitude, you were sure that you would have buckled under the pressure long before you made it to the new year.

naturally, you run to him first.

“you don’t want my help, believe me,” he laughs, swiveling around in his desk chair to face you. “why don’t you ask kai? you know he’ll say yes— hell, you could probably ask him to jump from the tenth floor and he’d do it. he’s obsessed with you.”

“he’s not obsessed.” you retort weakly, rolling your eyes. “he’s just being nice.”

“sure, buying you coffee and lunch, following you around like a lost puppy, and offering to walk you to your car every night is just being nice.”

“i asked him to that first time!” you pout. “the parking garage is scary when it’s dark out…”

huening kai worked in the bank’s i.t. department, down in the basement. even then, you still saw him often, the poor boy constantly running up and down those stairs whenever he was called. he was the only stranger to welcome you warmly when you first began at the company, offering his assistance with anything you needed— it was an honest godsend, because the computer software went so far over your head it made you dizzy. you still haven’t gotten quite the hang of it, but that was mostly because it was difficult to focus on what kai was saying when he was bent over you so closely and intimately, explaining equations and spreadsheets with that soft, gentle voice of his. you only felt dizzier in his presence, so nothing he told you ever stuck… but that worked just fine for you, because that meant you could keep asking for his help.

beomgyu says that kai has a crush on you. you’re certain he’s just that sweet and friendly with everyone. 

as much as you hate it, beomgyu’s right that kai would help you out if you asked him to. you feel bad for hogging up all of his time, as busy as he is even when he isn’t assisting people, but if beomgyu won’t help you he’s the only other person you’re willing to ask. when you see him again later that evening, smiling that pretty lopsided smile that gives your tummy butterflies, offering to walk you through the parking garage again, you ask him meekly if he’d help you decorate for the office christmas party.

he accepts a little more enthusiastically than you had anticipated he would. “there’s a storage closet down in the basement that has some old decorations from last year’s party.” he tells you as you dig around in your purse for your car keys, “i can show it to you sometime if you’d like! it’ll have to be after everyone goes home, though. i’m technically not allowed to go rooting through storage.”

“isn’t there supposed to be a snowstorm tomorrow?” you ask. “yeonjun told me he’ll let everyone go home early if it starts getting really bad. maybe we can stay behind then?”

“ooh, sneaky.” kai giggles. “sounds like a plan!”

your heart raced the entire drive home. it was just going through some old dusty decorations, it wasn’t a date or anything even close to it, but why did your heartbeat flutter like it was one? that night you tossed and turned, unable to sleep— no matter how hard you tried to clear your head you couldn’t stop thinking about your plans with kai. part of you was nervous you would land in trouble with yeonjun if you were caught snuck around the office after hours, but all of that anxiety was drowned out effortlessly by your excitement and anticipation. alone? with kai? it might not be a date to him, but it sure was one to you.

by the time exhaustion finally overtook you, rays of light from the rising sun were already beginning to stream through the gap in your curtains. you get only a few hours of sleep before your morning alarm forces you awake. you’re tired and groggy, and can barely stay awake to get dressed and ready for work, but the sight of fresh falling snow out your window revitalizes you better than any cup of coffee. frigid, bitter wind slaps you in the face as you leave your house, your flimsy scarf and coat doing little to shield you from the brewing blizzard, but you can’t find it in you to be unhappy even as you nearly slip and break your neck getting to your car. this is exactly what you were hoping for, and a quick glance at your phone confirms that the snowfall is only going to get worse.

you find it difficult to focus all day, partly because of your nerves and partly because you kept looking out the office windows to admire the snow. seoul turns nearly invisible below you, all the streets and buildings covered in a sparkling, dazzling blanket of pure white that blinds you. it was oddly peaceful, the swirling snowfall silencing the usually loud and bustling city.

by lunchtime, you couldn’t see anything outside at all. the snowflakes turn rapidly to sleet and ice, and the wind picks up to the point it’s howling and shaking the windows. yeonjun began sending people home at two, and by four the office was silent for an entirely different reason.

you tell yeonjun that you have some extra statements to go through, but that you’ll be leaving shortly— you even make a show out of packing up your purse, going extra slow just in case he wants to stay and chat. thankfully, he exits the office without much fuss, reminding you to drive carefully, and to tell security when you’re leaving so they could lock up behind you.

“of course, sir, thank you. have a good night.” you reply with a tight smile, praying that you don’t look as guilty as you feel.

once you hear the exit doors close behind him, you shoot up out of your desk and hightail it to the basement. kai meets you at the stairs, grinning and waving excitedly with his bag slung over his shoulder. “it shouldn’t take very long, the closet’s pretty small,” he says, ushering you to follow him. “i want us both to get out of here before the storm gets any worse.”

while you certainly wouldn’t mind spending extra time alone with kai, the last thing you want is to get snowed in at the office. he leads you down a dimly lit hallway, flanked on each side by identical personal offices. the rooms were empty and dark, devoid of any signs of life or activity— it shouldn’t surprise you, seeing how everyone had left for the day, but something about the uncanny, isolated atmosphere gave you the creeps. kai continues to lead you to the very end of the hall, stopping at a scuffed, unmarked wooden door. a keypad fixed to the adjacent wall blinks brightly in the dark.

“this is the closet you were talking about?” you question, eyeing the door oddly. “it doesn’t look like a storage closet at all. why’s it got a keypad?”

“it used to be a server room, i think. there’s still some equipment in the back.” kai responds lightly, bending over slightly to plug in the code for the keypad. “now it’s just used to store stuff we don’t need, though only my department can use it. expensive computers and whatnot. after last year’s christmas party i helped put away everything, and i stored it all in here ‘cos i was too lazy to take it all the way to the top floor.”

the keypad beeps and the little blinking light turns green. kai pulls the door open and gestures you inside.

the air in the storage closet is stale and dusty. you search in the dark for the light switch, but kai locates it with ease, and you find yourself having to blink hard a couple of times to adjust to the near-blinding fluorescent light. against each wall countless labeled boxes and tubs are stacked up nearly to the ceiling, each one filled to the brim. a line of folding chairs leaned up against a broken desk, a ladder and some cleaning supplies occupied a far corner. as kai had said, abandoned old server racks had been pushed to the very back of the room, collecting dust, far too outdated to be of any use anymore. the room was small and narrow with no windows, barely enough room to move around besides the carefully constructed walkway that wove between all the junk. you feel awfully claustrophobic, especially with kai’s tall, broad frame stepping in behind you. you both toss your bags to an empty spot on the floor, and the door swings shut with a dull click.

you can still hear the storm outside, even down here. the wind howls and whips around viciously, and the sleet pummels the walls like thousands of tiny bullets.

“there should be a fake tree in here somewhere,” huening murmurs, squeezing past you to make his way towards the back of the closet. his chest brushes against your back as he moves past, and you can feel the firm planes of his broad pecs through the thin material of his button down shirt. “and some wreaths and ribbons and things. i think i hid them all back here so i wouldn’t get in trouble.”

you laugh airily, a little too distracted to fully pay attention to what he was saying. “you? in trouble? i don’t think yeonjun has the heart.”

kai shrugs, opening a random cardboard box and peering inside. “you’d be surprised. you haven’t been here long enough to see what he’s capable of— oh, by the way, how are you liking it here so far? getting the hang of everything?”

you should probably be helping him, but you can’t tear your eyes away from the way the muscles in his back ripple through his shirt. “i, um. i’m still figuring it out. i really appreciate your help.”

the blizzard grows even louder outside, to the point it’s beginning to frighten you. you don’t think you’ve ever heard of a snowstorm causing a building’s walls to cave in, but there’s always a first for everything.

if kai notices that you haven’t moved from where you stood by the door, he doesn’t mention it. “no need to thank me! i’m happy to, really. i’ll help you out with whatever you need anytime, y/n, you just have to ask. you know you can count on me.” he moves on to another box, seemingly still searching in vain for those decorations. ”who’s your favorite coworker? if you have one, i mean—ah, that’s a stupid question. it’s probably beomgyu.”

kai’s tone changed suddenly, from happy and bright to something you couldn’t quite place. you’ve never heard kai sound like that before. “what do you mean?” you prod, cocking your head to the side.

he looks as if he’s weighing the question, biting the inside of his round cheek as his eyes look everywhere except at your face. “well, i mean, like… he’s your friend, right? and you and him have known each other for years now. you hang out with him every day, outside of work too, going to the bar and whatever. and you’re always talking about him, and laughing at his jokes, and looking his stupid face and his stupid hair—”

you’re not sure how to quite process that. “actually, kai… my favorite coworker is you.”

kai’s head spins around so fast that you’re afraid it’s going to come off, his big brown eyes wide with shock. “wait, what? really?!”

“yes, really.” you giggle, “i thought you would have known that, silly. beomgyu’s my friend and all, but he gets on my nerves all the time. you’ve just been so sweet to me when nobody else has, and you’ve made me feel so welcome… it really means a lot.”

kai’s face turns an adorable shade of pink, all the way to the tips of his ears. “oh. well. um. th-thank you. i—” he averts his eyes back to all the boxes, shyly lowering his head. his long dark bangs fall into his eyes, shielding the unreadable emotions that swirled in their dark chocolate depths. “i’m glad you feel that way… i can’t seem to find any of these stupid decorations, i’m worried we’re not going to be able to make it out of here before the power goes—”

just then, the light flickers, pops, and plunges both of you back into complete and total darkness.

“—out.”

it’s so dark inside the storage closet that you can’t even see your hands in front of your face— if you screw your eyes shut and open them again, it makes no difference, completely blind to everything except the cacophonous howling of the wind. “shit!” kai curses, the first time you’ve ever heard him do so, some loud stumbling and crashing coming from your left. “hold on, i’ll get us out of here—”

more crashing and banging, now moving your way; you open your mouth to warn him far too late, and kai barrels into you, nearly knocking you over. “sorry!” he yelps, outstretching his arm to break your fall and instead grabbing a fat fistful of your breast. he doesn’t seem to even notice, his hands large and warm and squeezing a little too tightly, seeping through the thin material of your blouse and bra and making a very unwelcome heat bloom between your legs.

“um, kai,” you stutter, trying your hardest to keep your voice level, “that’s… my boob.”

kai tears his hand away as if it were touching hot coals, and much to your dismay you find yourself immediately missing his touch. “i’m so sorry!” he repeats in a rush, stumbling over his words, his usually deep voice a couple octaves higher. you’re sure his handsome face is glowing crimson red, and distantly you wish the lights were on so you could see it. “i— i, i  didn’t mean to, i swear!”

“i know you didn’t,” you reassure him quickly, reaching out your own arms to help him squeeze himself by. with your help, he manages to slip his way past you, towards the general vicinity of the doorway, his feet knocking over things all the way there. you can hear him pressing buttons rapidly on the keypad, the device making no noise or beeping any lights— kai curses again and slams his fist against the wall, the loud thud echoing throughout the dark room.

“we’re stuck in here.” kai mutters in dismay.

“what do you mean we’re stuck in here?!”

“the door automatically locks itself when it closes and the keypad is the only way to unlock it… and it turned off along with the power. it’s alright though, the backup generator should turn on any minute now…”

the two of you stand around in silence for a long pregnant pause. the power does not turn back on.

“or not.” he gripes. “okay, this is fine, we’ll get out of here somehow— here, let me turn on my phone flashlight…”

kai rummages around in his pockets before pulling out what you assume is his phone. you anticipate seeing the little flashlight to finally illuminate the all-encompassing dark, but it never comes. “…and my phone’s dead. great. just great.”

“you really need to get better about charging that thing.” you quip sarcastically. “how many times have you asked to borrow my charger? now i only bring it because i know you’ll need it.”

“i know, i didn’t— wait, really? just for me?”

you don’t respond to his question, your cheeks flaring up from the confession you didn’t mean to let slide. “my phone should still have a charge.” you say, attempting to change the subject, “but i left it in my purse. i’m gonna try and grab it.”

carefully, you begin to shuffle your way towards the corner of the room, where you were at least mostly certain that you and kai had placed down your bags. kai follows you closely, his large hands balanced on your shoulders to keep him steady… a fine ideas at first, when you were making good headway, but you didn’t get very far at all.

you manage to only make it a few short steps before your kitten heel catches on something rolling around on the ground— kai must have knocked the contents of a few boxes over on his way over to you, little plastic bulbs that feel an awful lot like christmas ornaments, as ironic as it is. you trip and stumble, and you probably could have caught yourself easily if it wasn’t for kai’s large body falling with you. you both come crashing to the floor, your sharp gasp drowned out by kai’s loud shriek right in your ear; he squishes you against the cold linoleum floor, his chest pressed against your back, his hips flush against your ass. you try to wriggle free, but kai is just too heavy on top of you, motionless and oddly silent as he breathes hard against the back of your neck.

 “oh my god, kai, you big oaf, get off of me!” you whine, attempting in vain to push yourself up onto your hands and knees— your wiggle your hips against kai’s own, akin to a bucking hose trying to unseat it’s rider, and that’s when you feel it.

your pencil skirt has ridden up so that only your pantyhose and underwear were covering your ass, and you can feel every inch of kai’s hardening dick pressed up against you as if there were no clothes between you at all. the weight and curve of it, slotted perfectly between your asscheeks like it belonged there, the way it twitches violently in his slacks when you gasp.

“i’m sorry,” he whimpers, his head buried in your shoulder, his voice wobbly like he was about to cry, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m so sorry—”

just then do you register his hands on your hips, touching you so intimately, steadfast in their movements down your ass and thighs despite shaking like a leaf. he’s never been this close to you before, his body so sculpted and masculine against you, his soft plump lips ghosting over the exposed skin of your neck, wafts of his musky cologne clouding your senses. you shouldn’t do this, you should remain professional… but you’ve wanted huening kai for months, since you first met him, and having him pressed against you so helpless and vulnerable has destroyed all your control and reason. all you could think about was that kai wanted you too, and you had the proof straining against you and begging to be freed.

you roll your hips back against him slowly, as if not to startle him— the broken moan that falls from those kissable lips is downright obscene, whiny and desperate, shooting hot sparks of pleasure down your body to your core.

“a-ah, d-did you, um. did you mean to d-do that?” he asks in a small voice, his cock growing even harder against you.

you can’t take it anymore— in kai’s dazed state you manage to pull yourself up from underneath him, spinning around on your knees to grab wildly in his direction. you manage to get your fist wrapped around his tie, and with a sharp tug kai’s lips come crashing down onto yours. his lips are soft and pillowy against your own, tasting a little sweet, like the tea with milk and honey he enjoys drinking while he works. his panting breath tickles your skin, his fingers coming up to card through your hair as you open your mouths and breathe each other in. your bodies press together heatedly, hands roaming everywhere you could reach, groping and pulling each other impossibly closer together. kai’s other hand slides down your back to cup your ass, squeezing the plush lightly between his fingers. swathed in all this darkness, it was easy to forget that you weren’t dreaming.

you’ve never kissed or been kissed like this before.

“does that answer your question?” you giggle when you part for air, panting hotly into each others mouths before kai descends upon you to recapture your lips himself.

this kiss is even more heated than the last, kai prying your lips apart to deepen the passion with teeth and tongue. you wish you could see, could admire the sharp tic of kai’s jaw as he kissed you, lose yourself in those beautiful brown eyes. bear some witness to something you were sure would never happen. you could feel the thud of your combined heartbeats, blood rushing in your ears to drown out the storm as you both fumble with each other’s clothes. kai’s hands move to cup your tits, squeezing harshly when you run your hand down his chest and belly to his belt buckle. it’s a struggle to unfasten in the dark, but you manage to roughly tear his fly open and fish his hot throbbing cock out of his boxers. you wrap your hand around it, so fat your fingers barely connect— kai lets out a strangled whine as you stroke up to thumb at the tip, thick globs of precum slicking up your hand.

“t-take it off,” kai grits out against your lips, his large hands fumbling with the buttons of your blouse, “please, wanna feel—”

an affirming hum is all he needs, impatiently pulling at the buttons— your blouse pops open with a loud ripping sound, and he pulls both your top and bra down just enough for your breasts to fall out. your nipples harden in the cold air, but they’re quickly warmed up by kai’s fingers. he pinches and tugs at the buds roughly, the sensation making you keen wantonly.

“kai! that shirt was expensive!” you whine, but the hand pumping his cock only strokes faster— you really couldn’t find it within yourself to care much about anything, and you wanted to make sure kai didn’t stop to apologize even more than he already has.

“couldn’t help it, i just love your tits,” kai groans, letting go of your nipples to grope and massage the fat mounds of your breasts. his grip gets tighter with every flick of your wrist, breath coming out in short airy pants. “fuck, you’re so sexy, it makes me g-go insane. running around in those tight tops and those short little skirts, i just want to— ah!— f-fuck you all the time—!”

“kai,” you whimper, rubbing your thighs together in an attempt to quell the searing heat growing between them.

“i wish i could see you right now,” he continues, and you jump at the sensation of a hot wet tongue against your nipple. “i could probably cum just from how hot you look— god, i’ve been wanting to do this for forever.”

his plump, spit-slick lips seal around your hard bud, his hands continuing to play with your chest as he sucks and nibbles. you cry out high in your throat, letting go of his twitching cock to crumple your fist in his shirt. your pussy aches to be touched, dripping so much slick you’re sure you’ve completely ruined your panties. kai’s fingers and mouth better than anything you’ve ever felt before, good enough to make you cum from just this alone, but you desperately, wildly, primally need more.

“touch me!” you beg him, pulling him impossibly closer, right where you need him most. “kai, please touch me!”

kai gives your nipple one last tug between his teeth before pulling off with a pop, leaving your breasts covered in his spit and erupting in goose flesh from the frigid air. slowly and carefully he crawls himself between your open legs, sliding his fingers underneath your bunched up skirt. he runs a fingertip down the gusset of your panties, just the ghost of a touch, but it’s enough to make you keen in delight. “you’re so wet,” kai laments, sounding utterly debauched, rubbing between your weeping pussy lips over the lace, circling your clit until you mewl, “made a mess in your panties… did i really make you this wet? that’s so fucking hot…”

he relinquishes his finger, and you’re not sure what you were expecting next, but it definitely wasn’t for him to grab ahold of your pantyhose and underwear and tear them from your body in one powerful yank. the nylon and lace rip like paper, the ghastly sound ringing in your ears, and kai tosses the shredded fabric to the side before positioning himself to kneel between your thighs.

“i’ll do more than touch you if you’ll let me,” he whispers in your ear, running his hand up your inner thigh leaving behind a burning trail in it’s wake, “i wanna fuck you so bad, baby, please, can i? i’ll buy you new clothes, i’ll buy you whatever you want, just let me ruin you…”

“we don’t have a condom…” you breathe, but you widen your legs to give him more room anyway. usually that would be a deal-breaker for you, but you’ve already done more in this closet than you would have ever even dreamed of doing.

“i’ll pull out, i promise.” kai’s voice is far too soothing for your own good, those terrible, god-sent big hands grabbing ahold of the back of your knees to expose you even further. you can hardly think at all anymore, too focused on the throbbing need swirling deep in your pussy, and how good it would feel if you would take the risk and just let go.

“please…” is all you can manage to say, and with a delighted groan huening folds your legs up to rest on his shoulders and positions his weeping cock at your entrance. it feels so filthy, with your torn-up pantyhose still clinging to your legs and your heels hanging from your toes, and once again you wished desperately that you could see just how lewd of a sight the two of you were.

kai slides his cock up and down between your folds, getting his shaft nice and wet with your juices. his bulbous cockhead bumps deliciously against your clit before gliding back down to your entrance, pressing against the rim of your hole just enough to tease before letting up and doing it again. as hot as it is and as good as it feels, you can’t handle any teasing anymore, not when you’ve been on the edge and in need of release for this long.

“put it in,” you beg, and you can hardly recognize your own voice. you sound so needy, so pornographic— it would be embarrassing if you weren’t this far gone. “please, please, need you s’ bad, kai, need your cock—”

kai shushes you with an unexpectedly chaste kiss, sweet and gentle and nothing at all like the way he was thrusting himself inside of your tight wet heat like an animal. the stretch burns so good you nearly scream, his cock longer and fatter than any you’ve ever taken before. for a delirious moment you worry that he’ll tear you in half, that he won’t fit, your walls clenching down on him like a vice as he forces his way deeper and deeper, until his tip kisses your cervix and his balls slap wetly against your ass.

“s-so big,” you slur, clawing weakly at his chest, your mouth slack and your mind completely blank except for how impossibly full you feel.

“is it too much?” kai asks you nervously, back to his sweet anxious self for a split second. “i’m so sorry, i couldn’t stop myself, pussy’s sucking me in—”

“feels so goo-o-od!” you mewl dumbly, finding it harder and harder to string a sentence together the longer kai is inside of you. “need more, hyuka, give it to me!”

the innocent nickname makes him moan, and just like you wanted and pleaded for he begins to fuck you in sincere earnest. his thrusts are fast and brutal, lit by a deep, primal fire you had no idea kai possessed. it knocks the wind out of you, overwhelmed in the best possible way, your mouth falling slack and your eyes rolling into the back of your skull as you moan loudly every time his cock spears your cervix.

“deep! so f-fucking deep!” you hiccup breathlessly, surrendering yourself completely to the onslaught of red-hot pleasure. you can feel him in your belly, right under your navel, your wet little pussy squelching obscenely with every movement of kai’s hips. he finds your sweet spot with shocking ease, angling his cock to drag against that spongey bundle of nerves and make you even wetter.

“yeah?” kai croons, thrusting himself inside of you impossibly harder, faster, “feels so good, huh? fuck, this pussy’s so fucking wet, so fucking tight— best cunt i’ve ever had, baby, feels better than i ever imagined… can’t let you go now, perfect girl all for me. this perfect pussy’s all mine, you hear, no one elses!”

he recaptures your pert nipple between his lips, suckling even rougher than before; your breasts bounce to the rhythm of his thrusts, sensitive flesh jiggling in his face as he trails his teeth and tongue across the planes of your cleavage, leaving dusky lovebites in his wake. he slobbers over your tits like a hungry dog, his moans and whines muffled by your nipples he takes turns slurping them up into his mouth. the pangs of pleasure from your sore nipples combined with kai’s quickening pace and filthy words tug you closer and closer to the brink of insanity, the fiery hot tsunami building deep within your belly threatening to overflow and toss you into its euphoric depths.

“love you so much,” kai admits as he continues to babble nonsense, seemingly not noticing just what was coming out of his mouth, “been wanting you for so fucking long, needed you  so bad— my pretty girl, so beautiful, wanna see your face when you cum. you must look so sexy when you cum.”

your heart clenches along with your cunt.

there is nothing you can see, but there is plenty you can hear— kai’s hips clapping against your ass, his beautiful broken whimpering, the slick sounds of your pussy gushing around his cock. you open your mouth to speak, voice the mounting ecstasy that built steadily in your throbbing cunt, but you can’t seem to get out anything other than shrill, pathetic cries of pleasure. your mind was wiped completely blank, nothing but static behind your eyes, thoughts filled with nothing except the pressure in your core and how good it would feel if you let it consume you.

“gonna cum!” you wail, using up all your energy into making yourself speak— kai groans happily, his thrusts grow desperate and sloppy, speeding up to pound your sweet spot into oblivion.

“yes! cum with me, angel, come on, you can do it.” he coos, voice shaking as his body jolts and shudders above you. his hands come down to press hard on your engorged, sensitive clit, rubbing tight circles against the throbbing bud. “that’s it, make a mess, cum all over my cock!”

your orgasm hits you like a truck, your entire body shaking from the overwhelming pleasure as you pulsate and gush around him. you recognize distantly that you’re squirting, droplets of viscous liquid splashing all over your tummy and thighs, drenching huening as well. your release triggers his own climax, and he wrenches out his cock from your quivering pussy just milliseconds before ropes and ropes of thick, sticky cum splatters hot and wet all over your heaving tits.

“holy fuck,” kai whimpers, unable to catch his breath, “that was the best sex i’ve ever had.”

you just giggle weakly, trying to calm down your racing heart yourself; the two of you lay against each other in silence for a moment basking in the afterglow while you both come down from your highs. your orgasm sucked all the life force out of you, it seemed, leaving you weak and exhausted as you lay boneless on the cold storage closet floor.

and just like that, the lights turn back on. the heating system starts back up again. you’re nearly blinded after spending so long in the dark, squinting your eyes as you take in your surroundings.

kai is staring right back at you.

his dark hair is wild and sticking out in all directions, his eyes blown wide and his cheeks dusted pink. his tie is half-undone and his work shirt is terribly wrinkled, drenched in what you can only assume to be your juices. his softening cock lies against his thigh, poking out from his unzipped fly, slacks just as damp and ruined as his shirt was. his chest heaves with the force of his breaths, no doubt taking in your own appearance himself. you look down just enough to see your torn clothes, your cumstained breasts and wet thighs, your smart professional outfit looking like it was ravaged by some sort of rabid animal.

“you look beautiful.” kai whispers in rapture, gazing down at you with soft melted chocolate eyes.

“um.” you respond smartly, cheeks burning, averting your eyes to check the closet door— the keypad’s light blinks cheerfully at you, as if it had never been turned off in the first place. “do you want to get out of here?”

kai smiles, that signature smile that gives you even more butterflies now than it did before. “do you wanna watch a christmas movie at my place?”

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©𝚖𝚒𝚞-𝚙𝚘𝚠.𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐。𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝, 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎, 𝚘𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚙𝚢 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚢, 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖. 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚍.

[postmoe]

Can you do a Yandere ZZZ men getting rejected. like the genshin version same reason that they just weren't their type and misunderstood. Also I saw this art about Seth older brother.

https://x.com/yougei_/status/1872198958057169238

omg pls if Seth's brother isn't something cool like that. They bring him up slightly in Harumasamasa story and I was so O.O tell me more.

Happy new year everyone! Welcome 01/01/2025!

Wise, Ben, Billy, Anton, Seth, Lycaon, Lighter, Harumasamasa - drugging, fighting, suggestive themes, I think i made it pretty gn so it could go either way, knocking out.

.

Wise:

It takes a lot of courage for someone introverted like him to speak up about his feelings. He goes through all the possible scenarios before even bringing this up, deciding that if he's going to be true than he will shoot his shot in person and not message you the dozens of deleted texts he had initially typed.

That's why when you say 'no', it's very disheartening but he's not all that scared about the consequences.

"The city is a terrible place, you know? Generic crime is the least of its worries, not when corruption is rampant in every security and business corporation that exists."

You're not really listening to his rambles, shoulders shaking as you cry through the gag in your mouth, saliva ripping down your chin. Your arms are tied tightly behind you, around the back of the chair you're sitting on and preventing you from moving freely. When Wise finally removes the blindfold from your eyes, the room around you is blurred by your constant tears. He has the generosity to wipe them for you, seeing your a concrete room with a few necessities. A bed in the corner, a small couch, a television with some movie tapes (nothing too scary), a small, wooden coffee table. You see a mini fridge ahead and the bottom of a staircase. There's no windows, though a mirror behind a plastic sheathe in front of you shows a room behind you with a toilet and possibly a shower.

Despite your spit coating your face and the hyperventilation through your nose, he tenderly cups your chin and kisses the corner of your mouth, almost shyly if it weren't for the heated glint in your eyes, "Humans can adjust to anything, with time. Don't worry, you know I'll always keep you safe, with or without your consent."

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Billy:

"What do you mean?! It's because I'm a robot, isn't it? That's low, starlight, suuuper, suuuuuuper low."

You shake your head, smiling innocently with your hands up to indicate that that's not the case at all. "Billy, you're one of the most charming people I know-"

"- Then date me! C'mon, I promise I'll be the perfect partner for you. I'm your knight in shining armour, after all! Literally," he taps against his chest to make a 'ding ting!' sound.

You refuse the laugh that bubbles up, thinking back to all the times he has 'coincidentally' been there when you needed it most. "Yeah, about that... I wanted to talk to you..." How do you say this? 'Billy, be honest, have you been stalking me?' It is probably best to just be out with it, "Have you been following me, Billy? It's kind of weird that we keep running into each other all the time, especially whenever you seem to think I'm 'in danger'." Which could literally be you mis stepping and having him rush over to you in worry from seemingly nowhere.

As a robot, you'd think one of the better things he was capable at was lying. However, the animated nature of his gives him away too easily. He knows that all too well, deciding it was easier to just come out with the truth. Billy nervously rubs the back of his neck, "Ah, Anby said it would come across as creepy... But, you have to understand from my perspective, starlight! You're made of breakable materials. Flesh, bones, muscles, meat, it's all something that can be so easily taken advantage of."

With a sigh, you shake your head, hoping to get through to him since he obviously has the wrong idea about your species, "No, we're not that fragile. Humans-"

"-No, but, see, you are!" He's too into it now, grasping your wrist with little effort. You step back in shock, wincing at the pain, asking him to let go but he doesn't. Billy's voice is softer, the yellow lights of his eyes narrowing in on the pained expression your face so easily portrays, "I'm not even using a lot of pressure here. If you listen closely, you can hear the splitting of your bone. No, seriously! Put your ear to it," he holds up your wrist when you start to cry, looking around desperately for anyone nearby. It's late, not even a bangboo in sight.

With a loud 'snap!', your voice chokes and your crumple to your knees, except Billy doesn't let you fall to the ground. He picks you up in his arms and holds you to his cool, metal chest. He's cooing over you as you cry and cradle your wrist. You look up with such a hurtful expression, "W-Why did you do that? I need a hospital."

As if something clicks, he quickly changes mode and started fretting, holding you tighter, "Oh, shoot! Dammnit, starlight, why'd'ya make me do that? I didn't mean to go that far. Hah... Come on, let's get you home and fix you up. No more late night escapades, 'kay?"

+-+-+-+-+

Ben:

The guilt riding him when he takes you is immeasurable... He knows it's for the best. Statistically speaking, you're more likely to get hurt without him around to protect you. It's just unfortunate it had to go this route.

At the moment you were in a cage in the corner of his home office, shaking with anger and cold as he had stripped most of your clothes in punishment, your arms restrained behind your back and a blindfold to keep you more sensitive. He checks the time on the corner of his computer; it's only been 20 minutes.

Once you rejected him, he had seemed to take it in stride. It wasn't meant to be, sometimes you see a juicy fish just too late and miss it, he had to move on.

But he couldn't.

Your fiery attitude and boisterous laughter filled the calm void inside him. You are everything to him.

So one night, when he's walking down the street to clear his mind, he sees you getting off work late. When salmon travel upstream to go home, it's the bear's job to catch it. Or, something like that. With the way his mouth salivates and his body jitters in excitement, he can't help but compare you to a delicious meal, even if he doesn't want to devour you - in that sense.

Once you wake up, you fight, of course you do. He doesn't necessarily blame you for it, but, bad behaviour needs to be punished. It's when you tried to bite through his thick fur did he snap. Intentionally hurting someone is a no-go. Though, it is your first offence. Another ten or fifteen minutes and he'll let you out.

"I don't want to keep you trapped here forever. I'd like if we could go out together, too. We just need to be civil about this," he states, hoping to appeal to you with calm incitements.

Instead, you grit your chattering teeth and curse, "Fffff-uck yo-ou."

His shoulders sag, his frown deepening as he turns back to his monitor to continue working.

+-+-+-+-+

Anton:

He and his bro had spent countless hours rehearsing and none of the answers to come out were negative. So, how is it that you say anything but a resounding YES?

"I dunno," you say, shyly rubbing your arm as you avert your eyes, "I just always thought I was one of the guys. Whenever you introduced us it was always 'Anton and his two bros'."

His jaw goes slack as his brain catches up. It takes a moment of cogs turning and mathematical calculations as every moment he's ever 'friend-zone'd you comes flashing in his mind. Then, he bursts out laughing, his large hand coming to land on your shoulder, "Dude, no way! Okay, I can see where you might think that." In a completely different display of affection, one you haven't exactly experienced from a man like Anton, he runs his hand down your arm and catches your own hand in his, collecting your other as well to intertwine his fingers and hold you close. He swallows the lump in his throat, as though saying it a second time is harder than the first, - though in his defense, he and his bro had concluded that you would say yes after the first confession, this wasn't in the script. "I really do like you, (Y/n). A lot. I'd do anything for you."

Anton truly is one of the sweetest people you know. However, "I'm sorry, Anton. I think our lifestyles are just too different to begin with. But hey! I'll always be your bro!"

It's getting awkward, and you have to tug a few times before he lets go. With a small farewell, you turn on your heel to leave and give you both some time to think. He will be okay, Anton always bounces back, no problem!

Except, he doesn't. In another turn of events for someone like him, he zeroes in on a nerve near the back of your neck and hits it hard. Immediately, you collapse into his arms, unconscious.

The drill on his hip shifts from the adjustment he has to make to carry you, causing him to look down before averting his gaze with a guilty conscience, "What? Don't look at me like that, they were getting away! Besides," the smile of his is unparalleled as he stares at your sleeping face, "We just need to show them their place with us; they'll come around."

+-+-+-+-+-+

Seth:

He knows it's wrong, it's so wrong. The stalking. The lying. The manipulation. Saying something as, "Wow! What a coincidence, I didn't expect to see you here, (Y/n)." is enough to make his heart hurt with deceit. You deserve better, you deserve the word.

But you just won't listen.

You run down any empty alley to help someone who calls for help and have been scammed and attacked four times this month because of it. Yes, he knows he does it too, but, he has the skills to deal with it! It also means your money gets stolen easily and you're left with cup noodles every night for a week because you can't afford a proper meal. Not to mention your sleep schedule taking a toll because you refuse to close up shop if a customer is taking their time because you don't want to 'hurt their feelings'. Or what about that cat bite that struggled to heal because-

Seth takes a deep breath, calming his racing and distraught thoughts. His superior Zhu Yuan said it herself, "If someone I love kept putting themselves in danger, then I'd step in, no questions."

He's offered countless times to handle things, to get you to call him in any sort of emergency, and wishes so badly that you would accept his feelings rather than saying something stupid like you'd get in the way of his goals.

Why is he so scummy?

The sound of the lock to your shop is loud in the empty street. It's 11pm, you usually shut at 9 tonight. You're so tired and unconcerned that you don't even jump at his presence when you finally turn around. Your parted lips spread into a smile, tired eyes crinkling as you greet him, "Officer Seth! What a lovely surprise, are you out patrolling?" When you step forward, you notice that he's hunched in on himself, a prominent frown on his usually cheerful face, ears back and looking solemn. You come even closer, unaware of any possible signals he could be giving you to stay away, "Seth? Are you okay, what's happening?"

Instead of saying anything directly, he just walks forward until his body meets yours, collapsing into you for a hug. You let him melt in your embrace, hands coming up to rub his back gently and pet the soft tufts of his hair, murmuring how you're there for him. He has to stop his hand from shaking when he holds up the injection pen, calmly moving your hair away from your neck as though he was simply returning the favour of comfort. "I'm sorry," he mumbles into your skin, his own tired eyes closing to shut out the world, allowing it to be only him and you, "It'll only get worse if I do nothing, and it's already so bad now."

You don't have time to ask him what he means, the sudden pressure in your neck causing you to yelp. The sting comes after the shock, you try to pull away but he doesn't let you move, only continuing to squeeze you against him as your legs buckle and go numb. "Seth...?" You whisper his name, looking up with such a worried expression that he can't help but smile softly.

"No, dummy," he lifts you up when your arms go paralysed next, walking in the direction of his car, "You're supposed to scream for help when something happens."

Your lips wobble as you begin to cry, unsure of what your dear friend is planning by doing something like this. His car comes into view and you shift your head against his chest, voice weak, "Help."

"Shh," he hushes you, savouring your warmth in the quiet night, "It's too late for any of that now. You'll be safe with me."

For weeks he had been dealing with this dark, malicious substance oozing through his veins at the prospect of doing something so criminal. Now, though? Now, as he holds you and feels you and sees you in front of his, he feels like everything is suddenly right with the world. He must've been overthinking everything like usual.

+-+-+-+-+

Lycaon:

You shouldn't be so surprised to see that Lycaon has such a nice apartment. His job isn't exactly middle class and he rarely spends money outside of his fur upkeep products.

Still, as you sit the wet umbrella in its plastic sheath - curtesy of the building staff - next to the door way, you can't help but look around in awe. There's no a lot going on, a large lounge that has enough space for at least ten people, accompanied by a larger tv that is currently off. An open kitchen, hallways to the left and right, an upstairs with a balcony over half the floor plan.

And a lovely table and chairs by the floor-to-ceiling windows that looked over the city of New Eridu, which was currently pouring with rain and being illuminated by lightning.

Lycaon was standing by the lovely table, placing down the teapot down after pouring two cups before turning to face you. In an unusual turn of events, he wasn't wearing his signature uniform which you have grown accustomed to seeing, instead, he was in a simple black, buttoned down shirt and long pants. He hadn't changed the patch and belts on his face, however, which he regards with a tender touch and explanation, "Apologies, I barely had time to change before you arrived. Even though I invited you over, it's unforgivable of me."

You purse you lips at him, walking towards the set-up and stating, "You said you had feelings for me and yet you still talk to me like I'm one of your clients."

The corners of his lips tick up in a dejected smile, "I suppose it's habitual at this point. Besides, I'm still a little unsure how to go about this."

He pulls out the chair for you to sit, your body resting in the comfortable cushion on the hard seat. It takes you a moment to realise that what you said probably wasn't the best call right now. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that... I was just trying to lighten the mood."

This time, his smile is a little more sincere, "Please, do not worry about it. Our previous meetings have been a tad awkward so I understand."

This relaxes you greatly, your shoulders sagging in relief. You turn your attention to the hard rain hitting the windowsill next to you, the home is warm but you're close enough for the cool air on the window to still hit you, "It's really coming down, huh?"

"Indeed," he agrees, not that he could really argue against it. Lycaon takes your cup and opens a small sugar bowl, taking a spoonful and stirring until it all dissolves, "I believe the forecast stated that it would be storming all week."

"I hope the outer circles are okay, they tend to flood easily," you mindlessly pray, accepting the teacup once he's placed it back on the saucer. You both enjoy a silence of words as you sip from your respective beverages, the rain soothing your mind.

Lycaon's ears flicker every-so-often to the sound of thunder, an endearing attribute to witness. You wonder if days like these would be common if you had said yes. It would be nice, but, you know now just isn't the right time for something like that.

Lycaon considers differently.

He clears his throat after a while, once you both had enjoyed a substantial amount of tea, "I must admit, my reasons for inviting you over are not quite... honourable."

You finally look away from the drowning city lights and to your friend, "What do you mean?"

He sets his palms in his lap and takes a deep breath, exhaling from his mouth to steady any unease, "I'm afraid I won't be allowing you to leave here, (Y/n). I've contemplated back and forth about my actions and decided that this was the most favourable outcome."

Confusion hits you before any sort of fear or anxiety, "Huh? Are you going to kill me?"

When Lycaon stiffens at that, you can't help but feel like your joke wasn't exactly off the mark. It's only until he shakes his head, almost exasperated, that you finally remember to breathe, "Goodness, no! I would never entertain such a thing. I merely mean that unless supervised by myself, you won't be leaving the premises."

You roll your eyes and play along, "Okay, so, do I have to find a hint to unlock the door? Is this a new thing for your business-" everything suddenly blurs and you double over in exhaustion. What the heck? It takes a moment to recover but when you do, you stand abruptly from the table, both hands steadying you as your body is overcome with unease, "Actually... I don't wan'na to play anymore..."

One step turns to two, and perhaps you get another half in before you're knees are collapsing beneath you and Lycaon is holding you up. He's kneeling, carefully monitoring your condition to make sure you go down as simply as the drug entices. He's talking calmly, saying something to soothe the process, perhaps, but you'll never know beyond the jumbled noise being muffled by your own hearing.

+-+-+-+-+

Lighter:

"You're not taking this seriously!" You shout at him, charging forward to get one good, hard punch to his cheek.

Lighter easily sidesteps you, grabbing a hold of your arm and twisting it backwards. You yelp in pain as he pins you down, finally doing something other than dodging your attacks, "Oh? Is that better or, do you want me to punish you more?"

His knee rubs suggestively between your thighs, your eyes tearing up in frustration as you thrash and kick. Mercifully, he retreats off of you and you you're quick to stand in another defensive position, "What is your problem?! If you're going to fight me than fight me properly!"

"I think you've forgotten that you're the one who issued this challenge," he pushes his sunglasses up his face nonchalantly, refusing to take them off despite the fact it's nighttime.

You growl and rush in to deliver a swift kick to his shin - which he artfully evades, "Only because you won't leave me alone! I'm fine by myself, I've always been fine by myself! I only ever started having troubles when you came into my life!"

He tuts and shakes his head, jumping back from another attack, "You know Big Daddy says it's not okay to tell porky pies. Little pigs like you who do get in big trouble for it."

That makes you falter, stepping back in bafflement and frankly a bit of discomfort, "What?"

Lighter is quick on his feet, stepping aside you, kicking out to trip up your ankle and catching you from behind. He spreads your legs with his own and holds your wrists behind your back, "If it weren't for me, nobody in the outer ring would look twice at you before robbing you blind and leaving your body dead in a ditch. Vulnerable city folk like you aren't exactly welcome here."

"Why go through all that trouble for someone like me, then?" You try to get out but this time, he isn't faltering, so you relinquish yourself for a moment of clarification, "If you guys hate me so much then why did you step in?"

"Because I like you. I really, fucking like you. And all I wanted was a bit of thanks and appreciation," he leans down to mumble in your ear, biting the lobe not all that gently. Again, you're pushed to the ground, his hips easily keeping you down without so much as breaking a sweat, "I win. Now, as per our agreement, this time you have to say, 'yes'."

+-+-+-+-+

Harumasamasa:

You're hands are shaking so badly that you can't hold a cup of liquid without spilling it. Your head is swimming with nausea and you seeing double of everything. How long had he been doing this without you knowing? Was this why your back didn't seem to ache the same way anymore, or your knees or your shoulders?

The door to your cell opens and you're greeted with the man himself. It's amazing how easy it is for people with power to abuse the system. "So, how're you feeling, honey? Changed your mind yet?"

"Y-You're a monster," you spit, stuttering not because you're scared or cold, but because your teeth won't stop chattering from withdrawals.

Harumasa laughs, closing the cell behind him and crouching down so he's at the height of your quivering body on the bench, "Awh, I never claimed to be a good guy! But, I wouldn't go as far as say 'monster.' Still," he reaches out and gently tucks back some of your hair, "In this scenario, you might not be wrong."

You jut your head back, smacking the brick wall with the back of your skull, 'thud!', "Fuck off."

"Oof," he winces, eyes cringing, "That had'ta hurt. C'mon, baby, just say yes and I can make all this disappear."

You're swaying from lack of balance, gods you think you might throw up, "Can't you find someone else to force your love onto?"

He stands abruptly and the motion makes you fall back, only being supported by the construction that was now the cause in your skull, "Nope! I want you. I have since I started dosing you with these." He pulls out a baggie of colourful tablets, his medication for his rare affliction. Sighing wistfully, he cradles the rainbow meds against his cheek, "If it weren't for these bad boys than I wouldn't have been able to get you do addicted to me. No one else can help you now, honey. I'm all you've got."

"Someone will come," you wish under your breath, body falling forward while you clutch your stomach in pain, "Someone will notice."

Harumasa purses his lips at you, humming in thought. With a defeated moan, he pockets the medication and stretches his arms above his head, "Welp, let's see how strong your will is after another day in the cell." Striding to one corner of the room, he grabs the little, plastic rubbish bin and brings it between your legs, "Here, you're gonna need this. The next 24 hours will not be fun for you."

You only notice he's gone when the shutting door echoes through the room, too lost in trying to keep your withdrawing body from keeling over.

[littledeathdove]

Mother Miranda is manipulative, she likely changes certain aspects of herself when she is around a specific person or group of people. Why? To gain their trust, to have them love her until she desires to take advantage of it. It’s all to get what she wants, which is rats waiting to be used for experiments that will soon lead to the rebirth of her baby girl.

Mother Miranda is intelligent, very intelligent. She went from being just a mother to her child to becoming a mad scientist who studies something so advanced and complicated. Even though she didn’t succeed in her experiments the majority of the time, she still was able to do something many people couldn’t do. She was able to make four, possibly eight, successful super-beings out of the mold/cadou. All in 100 years. Not with a background dealing with scientific studies, just with the will to get back what she wants. Eva.

Mother Miranda is selfish, she doesn’t care about the people in the village who are willing to worship her and her ideals to the grave. She doesn’t care for the four lords who are willing to listen to her commands follow them through and be obedient to her. Well at least the majority of them. Miranda doesn’t care for that, she doesn’t care to see these people happy. All she wants is to see her dreams fulfilled and to take back what was unrightfully stolen from her, her daughter.

Mother Miranda is a perfectionist, she doesn’t settle for anything less than what she wants for her daughter. She could have taken Eveline, the girl who had the same DNA as her true daughter, the same girl who likely had the same face as her true daughter. Even with all of the things Eveline had in common with Eva and even being able to control the mold to a devastating extent, Miranda still called her a failure. She saw a flaw in Eveline, so that means that Eveline isn’t the right vessel to bring back her daughter. Her daughter must have the perfect body, the perfect host. Her Eva deserves it more than anything.

Mother Miranda is sadistic, I believe that woman like seeing people in pain. She probably lets out a chuckle every time she sees a lycan tearing up the body of a poor villager from a distance. There’s no doubting the fact she liked seeing the villagers afraid of her, afraid of what wonders around the borders of their village, afraid if they would be plucked away from their life in the village by one of her lords.

Mother Miranda is a nerd, sharp turn there, but it’s true. That woman likely talks about the mold and her experiments like it is the most interesting thing ever, because it is, to her. Oswell E. Spencer, the madman who is a co-founder of umbrella corporations, only confirmed this when he talked about the late-night scientific talks they had together during his stay in Miranda’s village. While Spencer likely started up these conversations, I could only imagine Miranda doing most of the talking once she realizes it’s about something she is interested in.

Mother Miranda is obsessive, she is obsessed over the mold, and she is obsessed over bringing back her beloved daughter. Miranda is like a train station that only has two stops, her mind only goes from one thing to another. Yeah, she focuses on other things like making sure the villagers are behaving accordingly, making sure the lords are doing what she commands, and making sure she keeps up her image to the oblivious villagers. But mainly her focus is set on two things, expanding her knowledge of the mold and bringing back Eva. It just shows how obsessed this woman can get, she does it with her whole soul.

Mother Miranda is unpredictable, you can’t have a set idea of how you believe Miranda operates. No, no, that’s not going to work for you at all. She can be doing things you know that she always does and then she suddenly is doing something completely different. It’s crazy, just like how she is. Speaking of crazy.

Mother Miranda is bat-shit insane, there is no denying it because it’s just one of her main personality traits. Chris, Ethan, and Heisenberg were all correct in saying that she’s a crazy woman. This woman decided that she was going to take the mold she found in a cave she wanted to die in, and put it in the villagers. Who thinks of that? What sane person does that? She experimented with likely more than a thousand bodies, elderly, adults, teens, children, and babies. I mean I doubt that woman had a limit she didn’t cross because she is just that unhinged.

Those are just traits I remember studying about her by memory. But you get the gist. Miranda is just crazy all in all, but she is doing it all for her daughter, could you blame her? So what if she has a few (many) bad traits? You have to love a woman who has the mannerisms of a crow and the persistence that is the size of the sun.

Now just imagine how these traits would affect you if you were to somehow gain to woman’s interest so much that she became curious. The more curious she gets the more she learns about you, and if you somehow can do things that shock her, it will lead to more. It will lead to her wanting to know more and more like a greedy salesman. She doesn’t take any interest in most things, so when you somehow make your way into her thoughts more than once while she is doing what she does best in her lab, good luck to you. Because now you have the village priestess becoming slowly obsessed with you. And both good and bad things come out of it. So have fun being a new major thing crow mama’s thinks about all the time.

Took a break from writing my one-shot to make this random ramble post. Anyway, look at this new header of my wife >:)

[fuck-customers]

Had a customer today order a strawberry doughnut (among a few others), and I know she said “strawberry” because it sounds nothing like “rainbow” and not even in the same way that “two” and “three” sound nothing alike yet I may still mistake them if the road is loud enough. It was “strawberry” —my boss heard her say it too!

I give her her order, she checks it over. “This is the rainbow?” Uh, what? I don’t remember her ordering one—I check my pad, there’s no rainbow, so either she forgot or I didn’t hear (it’s happened). “I got a glazed, a strawberry—” “That’s a rainbow.” All righty then. I take the box back, tell my boss the change, void the strawberry, and charge a rainbow. The difference in price is 95¢. I report this to the customer with an apology, and she does this little “Oh” (the little eye-rolling kind that could just be “Duh, me, would help if I got my wallet back out!” but in this case… probably wasn’t). She tells me she only has her card (we’ve got a card minimum of $3), and I wave her off since this is one of the cases we’ll waive the min, and accept her card.

She starts asking if there’ll be an extra charge for it only being 95¢, and I think she’s asking if the store will have to pay extra—we do, occasionally, get customers who are concerned about us. I don’t like speaking any more than I have to (I have speech issues, and talking takes a lot of breath and energy which I don’t always have), so I just shrug that off too since it’s nbd. She gets angry and starts yelling at me, and I realize she means will she for some reason have to pay more than the 95¢ I’m charging her, so I explain that it’s just the store, that the store has to pay a fee on all card transactions and for ones under $3 it isn’t worth it, but this is one of the situations we’ll accept it anyway. Thankfully, she seems mollified, and the remainder of the interaction passes smoothly.

But this isn’t the first time she’s pulled this shit, it’s just apparently the first time she’s actually had to pay for her upgraded doughnut, or at least the first time when she didn’t have cash.

Because when she did the “Is this the rainbow?” thing, my boss recognized her. She’ll come on Fridays, often during our rush so there’ll be a line of cars behind her, and she’ll order one doughnut and after paying claim she had actually ordered a rainbow. During those times, my boss will just hand her the rainbow doughnut no charge since she’s more worried about getting the line moving than about a single dollar. But after today my boss ain’t gonna let her get away with it anymore.

And like, seriously? Why the fuck would you do that at a small, one-location, family-owned shop? Go pull that sorta shit at a big chain. I thought everyone knew you steal from corporations, not local/ma-and-pa.

No but I hope I remember her next time I’m at the window when she drives up, so when she “conveniently” orders a cheaper doughnut instead of the specialty one she actually wants, I can sweetly ask her, “No rainbow today?” Unfortunately though, while I’m generally good at recognition, I’m shit at association. There are regulars who’ve been getting the same thing for years, and while I’ll recognize them as a regular, I still don’t know their order.

Posted by admin Rodney

[ceasarslegion]

By the wishes of a few people, here's my advice post about living alone. Keep in mind I'm speaking from the perspective of a canadian urbanite, so this will not apply to absolutely everybody in every kind of culture, economy, living situation, those in rural areas, etc. This also is not assuming wealth disparities are a matter of personal attitude, i KNOW it's complicated. Get back with that shit right now, you know damn well this advice assumes you are able to achieve the financial means to live on your own and is not disparaging anyone who legitimately can't.

Let's cover the basics first.

Source of income:

This seems rather obvious, but your income should be regular and reliably the same or similar on a monthly basis. The most obvious way to achieve this is with a job, and I'm sorry but minimum wage is not going to cut it on your own anymore, which means you're going to have to swallow your pride and accept that you'll likely have to work for some industry or corporation with a dodgy moral record. Get used to it. There is no point in self-flagellation, the world is complicated, just take the 50-60k a year office job, no one actually expects you not to and nobody will hold it against you when the "moral" option is soul-crushing retail. The real world really doesn't give a shit what you have to do to afford a comfortable lifestyle as long as you do what good you can within your abilities, no one in the real world expects you to sacrifice your own wellbeing for a cause.

Salaried positions are your most reliable because you'll always pull the same amount, while hourly pay comes with the ability to pull overtime pay in exchange for more shifts, but if you run out of sick days you'll have to spend the rest of the year taking unpaid time off when you need to call in. Whichever one you choose depends on what's available to you and what's right for you physically and mentally, I can't make that call for you.

You also need a credit card. That is non-negotiable. If you don't have a credit score, you can't sign a lease. Bad credit is better than no credit. We can argue until the cows come home whether or not credit scores are good or bad, but it's just reality that you're going to need one. The good news is it's fairly easy to build credit from no credit: you just have to pay off your credit card in full on time every time. The bad news is it's equally as easy to tank your credit score, you just have to miss one or pay it too late, and it's very hard to build good credit back from bad credit. So don't see it as free money, only spend as much as you can pay back, and if you don't have credit right now, start with small things like lunch and little treats that you immediately pay off.

Looking for a place to live:

Once you have your regular and reliable source of income, you can start looking for your place. There's a few things you should keep in mind:

-Draw up a budget for how much you can spend on rent and bills. That includes all basic living expenses: rent, utilities, food, internet, phone, hygiene. Compare how much you make per month to what you can spend. 1/3 to 1/2 of your salary is a bit more realistic to expect to spend on rent alone nowadays, so work within that range when you apartment hunt. Think of everything when you're budgeting, like how much do you spend on haircuts per month? You probably didn't think of that, because I didn't either at first.

-Apartment buildings with some/all utilities included often have higher base rents. You have to keep in mind that this is so the landlord can balance out the utility bills of the whole building, which are unpredictable expenses and on them to pay every month. If you don't know how to budget yet or don't know how to do so with unpredictable bills, I highly recommend trying to find a place with utilities included so you know EXACTLY how much you'll need to pay every month and can plan in advance

-Older buildings tend to be both cheaper and more likely to have centralized utility systems, which means they have to include it in the price of rent because there's no way to tell who used how much of something. If it's your first place alone, you'll probably be tempted to get the brand new, expensive building down the road, but it won't actually make much of a difference when you move in. You will love it regardless.

-Never ever sign a lease until you've either seen THE unit you're considering, or one of the show units that is exactly the same layout. The last thing you want is to go off online photos only to move in and find out the building has a mold problem. You can arrange personal tours by contacting the building manager or the landlord directly. Phone calls are the best way to do this.

-If you want the unit after seeing it, you know you can afford it, there's nothing funny about the place, apply IMMEDIATELY. Places are usually on the market for a few days before they're snapped up by a new tenant, you have to strike while the iron's hot.

-If you've decided on the place you want and had your application accepted, read the lease carefully before you sign. Many places require tenant insurance that meet specific policy requirements, have registration rules about long-term guests, outline how the parking works, quiet hours, smoking rules, mail, laundry, all the way down to what kind of barbecues are allowed on your deck in the case of mine (I am in a wildfire danger zone, so any types that produce embers are strictly prohibited for fire safety reasons). Ask any question that comes to mind about the lease. Not everything in a lease is some human rights violation just because you don't like landlords, keep in mind you're living in the same building as dozens of other people, so there has to be ground rules established for everyone's sanity.

-Internet is often not considered a utility so you'll have a hard time finding any place that includes it. You can arrange to have your wifi set up in advance of a moving date on a specific time and date, do this right after you sign a lease so you don't forget. They won't charge you until you're actually hooked up to the network.

-If your utilities are NOT included, get those set up in advance too. The main ones are HVAC, water, and electricity. The companies that do this vary depending on where you live and what's available, so shop around online once you've signed your lease and sign up as soon as possible. The last thing you want is to forget this and then move into a dark freezing apartment with no water.

Budgeting:

After your living expenses are covered, you should have a comfortable amount of financial wiggle room leftover. If you wouldn't, the place you're looking at is either too expensive, or you're being overcharged elsewhere. It's completely normal for living expenses to take up most of your budget these days, you're doing just fine in the same boat as everybody else if that's the case, so don't panic yet. If you have absolutely NOTHING leftover though, then you're out of your price range.

You also need to set money aside for fun and saving. Do not forego fun money, your brain will try to kill you with hammers and knives if you never get or do things for yourself. And if you're on your own, you're the only one providing that for yourself now. And a solid building base of savings will only help you in the future, whether you lose your job, have an emergency, or even need a down payment on a house later in life. Don't be a doomer about your circumstances or the socioeconomic and generational cards that were dealt to you, chip away at it a little at a time. And don't fall for social media's insistence that anybody with anything at all is some bourgeois degenerate or that being fortunate enough to be able to have upward mobility makes you some ultra wealthy shithead, working towards a comfortable standard of living for yourself does not make you a rich elite or a bad person. You're working towards the standard we should all live as, not exploiting the poor or being a class traitor. I feel the need to add that last part since we're on the website of "struggling art students in NYC are bourgeois that are just bad with money and having a gaming computer makes you upper middle class." Don't listen to a word any of those people say, I know it comes from a place of very real hurt and pain for them but that doesn't make it grounded in absolute reality for absolutely everybody.

Social needs:

If you're by yourself, there's gonna be a lot more work you have to put in for your social and entertainment needs. I can not stress enough how important it is to give this the time and work it needs, do not neglect this.

Lots of libraries have clubs you can join that will get you out of the house and meeting new people regularly. They're either free or very inexpensive. This is a great place to start.

Take advantage of technology we have now. Hop on discord calls more frequently, make sure you're talking to your friends on the regular and try to make plans as much as you can.

Also, I advise finding lots of things you can do by yourself. You will be spending way more time alone than you ever have before, so find single-person hobbies. Go thrifting, get into knitting, go explore the city, read lots of books, do puzzles, just don't lock yourself inside all day in your free time. Even if you're doing it alone, going out and seeing that the world is bigger than your apartment and your workplace is very good for you.

Misc advice:

You don't need a conventional coffee pot maker. Single serving will suit you just fine.

Cleaning is easier when you have a routine. It doesn't all have to be done on the same day of the week, but having a regular schedule of what gets cleaned when for non-daily chores will help you keep on top of it. And please, god, don't neglect your cleaning and hygiene just because no one lives with you to see it. On that note, spray bottle all purpose cleaners are your best friend for daily spot cleaning and you should deep clean your washroom around every 2 weeks in my experience since that's where you'll be doing most of your personal hygiene. Also make your damn bed, yes you'll just get back into it at the end of the day but having a major part of your space neat and tidy will do wonders for your mental health.

Don't buy the cheap garbage bags. Some things you really do want the expensive shit for.

If you don't have a car, delivery service/rideshare subscriptions ARE worth it and legitimately economical in the long run. I do wanna circle back to square one and say that yes, most of them like prime and uber do have dodgy moral records, but sometimes you just gotta swallow your pride and accept that. Once again, no one in the real world expects you to spend your entire day on public transit looking for toilet paper that isnt 30 dollars a pack or lugging 50 pounds of groceries back on a bus just for a cause. It's not the fault of someone who needs these services for their quality of life that they do the things they do, don't put that responsibility on your or other's shoulders when the fault lies at the top of the corporate ladder.

When you're budgeting for living expenses, expect your income to be at the lowest and your expenses to be at the highest. I expect 2 call ins per month and to need to spend the max amount i have on groceries every time, that way I never fall short and never have to cut into my savings that I've dubbed my "oh shit, I'm broke" money. Your emergency reserve may look tempting to you, but as someone who has been in a position where they had to drain it to nothing in the past because of an unforeseen financial emergency, you REALLY are gonna want that untouched if and when shit hits the fan. Life is unpredictable, prepare to roll with the punches so they don't knock you out.

A few people wanted to be tagged in this, so here you go @lilsnatch and @kisstheashes <3

[firedragon1321]

Note- This post is edited. Reason is at the end. Please reblog the edited version as the original is unintentionally albiest.

I joke and laugh about Leon Pokemon being a dummy idiot (affectionate). He can't even find his way to the largest building in a city without assistance. But. Like. I started thinking about all the ways Chairman Rose took advantage of that over the years. Telling Leon what to say. How to act. Who to be. To say nothing of the sponsors on his cape. How much power do they have over Leon's persona? Where does he end and they begin?

And THEN I thought about how the League works in Galar. It's just...a much bigger thing than elsewhere in the Pokemon world. Simple gym battles take place in massive stadiums. How many of these battles occur per week, let alone per day? They are part of every person's life, even if they are just a spectator. And the sponsors/League controls the entire circus. Rose's intentions weren't fantastic. You expect me to trust the nameless corporations?

Also, how many Pokemon were scooped out of the Wild Area to train for glory, for a sponsor, for money, for power? How many were thrown away, unable to measure up to the standards of an extraordinarily complicated and demanding League? How many Trainers only care about being as strong as Leon, not caring about the well-being of their Pokemon?

We saw Hop do this. Admittedly, he is not malicious and Bede was crawling under his skin. But there are malicious Trainers out there. If not for the fact you need a sponsorship to participate in the League- this bottlenecking how many Trainers can participate- Galar's ecosystem would be in fucking shambles.

And speaking of Bede, his entire identity revolved around victory and power thanks to- surprise surprise- Chairman Rose. Only when he met Opal did he finally reach his potential...and even that involved shifting from Psychic types to Fairy types. Meaning his Duosion and Gothorita had to be either released or retired.

And I didn't forget about Piers the Rat Man and Spikemuth. Rose told Piers to move to a far away location with a Power Spot to enable flashy Dynamax battles. Piers told him to fuck off. Thus his gym is in backwater nowhere where few Trainers dare to dread and the whole town has been swallowed by crime and poverty. Did I mention Piers blames himself for Spikemuth's current state? Meanwhile, this is- once again- Rose and the League/sponsors having more power than anyone has the right to possess.

Combining these factors, you get a society in which the Trainer and Pokemon- provided they are strong enough- are a product. A commodity. Something to wow audiences and nothing more. Trainers like Hop are left in the shadows of the greats. But the greats are decaying giants, dangling from slowly snapping puppet strings.

This system doesn't go away because Rose is gone. In fact, Leon takes over as League Chairman. But how much of the new leadership is really Leon? Outside of battle, the man has his struggles. I can see the Battle Tower and Galarian Star Tournament being his ideas. But there's more to running the League than that. How many people- including his sponsors- are vying for power in the background?

If I didn't sell you on Galar being a dystopian nightmare yet, there is so much pollution the local Corsola are effectively zombies. Much of it probably comes from the stadiums- powering the screens, keeping the lights on at night, possibly energy from Dynamaxing. Electric-type Pokemon could debatably cut down on the pollution but like- how many Pikachu do you need?

It's a shame there was so much sleeping on SwSh because there's so much insidiously good shit bubbling just under the surface. I think if it was canonically explored people would like Gen 8 more (even if it ended with a reinforcement of status quo like Gen 5). But GameFreak had been afraid to make digs at its own formula since Black and White. The League does exist in other regions, albeit it's not as secretly dark as this. Addressing the Galar League could put a foot in the door to question the entire series.

EDIT- It has been brought to my attention that Leon is smarter than he looks, refusing to cooperate with the Darkest Day plot. More importantly to this edit, he may also be interpreted as disabled, making parts of this post unintentionally come off as albiest. As an autistic person, I apologize for this. However- as it's been reblogged a few times and Leon having a disability is not proved by canon- I chose to leave the text as-is- save for eliminating one joke that went too far- and attached a tw for albiesm. I am deeply sorry.

[wc-confessions]

I’ll do a full breakdown of why the news surrounding the Tencent animation disappoints me.

Disclaimer: while you can have criticisms about Tencent as they seem to be a controversial company, don’t use it as an excuse to be sinophobic. If your thoughts ever go to “well of course a Chinese production would suck” or something of that ilk, please stop right there. The main issues are corporate greed and laziness, not China. Got it? Time to carry on.

Firstly, it strikes me as more of a proof of concept than an actual announcement. It’s the most minor problem IMO, so I’ll let them off the hook. They probably wanted to make sure people knew it was being worked on.

Secondly, AI. Warrior Cats is an art-centric community; it’s no wonder fans are pissed. I don’t like AI art, you - a (probable) Warriors fan reading this - likely don’t like AI art, your father doesn’t like AI art, everyone here doesn’t like AI art. Which means I’m going to argue on a more technical side. Looking at the confirmed and possible AI art, I have a question. What do they achieve? They don’t fit with the style of the hand-drawn illustrations, they resemble galaxy cats in space, while that Yellowfang generation is just a bootleg of the reprinted Rising Storm cover. Their existence in the presentation is a waste of time and resources (literally, AI prompts use up absurd amounts of water). I’d rather them show exclusively human art because you can tell they’re going in a direction, even if it’s uninteresting.

Speaking of the presumably human art, oh boy. To start off mildly positive, I’ll say a majority of the illustrations are decent. You get some character designs and scene concepts. They’re clearly playing with art style. I don’t find them particularly ugly, so… good job! I suppose! Now, to address the elephant in the room: anthro cats. For the love of StarClan, I’m begging on my knees, don’t make these cats anthro in the final product. It would fundamentally break the entire series. They call humans “twolegs” for a reason! Go work on the Redwall movie if you want anthro animals.

Finally, my last concern. As of writing, there hasn’t been confirmation of the Tencent animation being a movie, TV show, or other. My opinion on a TV show is “it’s fine.” Warrior Cats is a long series, making it suitable that it gets a longer adaptation. Meanwhile, my hope for a Warriors movie is as big as a single grain of sand. 

Warrior Cats is borderline unadaptable when it comes to shorter-form media unless you want to dish out a pretty penny. We can already see this with the Prophecies Begin graphic novel; it’s transparent HarperCollins or whoever is in charge of these things didn’t want to pay for six TPB comics, so they had to hastily mash two books together in one. If the Tencent animation is a movie, I’m afraid some concepts already have signs of this. Multiple pieces have what can be assumed to be Fireheart and Tigerclaw fighting. I’m sorry, but that happens later in the books. Are they going to scramble the narrative worse than the graphic novel adaptation? Are we seriously going to wait 20+ years for an official animation, watch at least one high-profile fan project get canned, only for it to be about as accurate as evil snipers in an action movie? If it’s not a movie, ignore what I’ve said. If it is a movie, sigh.

TL;DR: Should’ve made the Little Dragon Studios series official instead of forcing them to cancel, guys.

.

[brw]

Do you think Carol Danvers is an industry plant?

I'll be honest I kind of don't believe in industry plants as a whole, just because I think it's kind of silly, but I'm assuming you don't mean in the literal sense of "musician or artist with corporate backing but isn't upfront about it", but instead on her being pushed less because of demand and more because of corporate mandates.

And yeah, that's definitely true. Carol became Captain Marvel in 2012, and it's not a mistake that that year is also the origin of what many people call the fourth wave of feminism, which also gave rise to an increasingly aggressive "Anti-SJW" culture and incel culture online in reaction to this new feminist movement that focused more on body shaming and body positivity than previous waves. It definitely feels like Marvel was trying to capture some of that energy and momentum with Carol, while also probably feeling a little self conscious for the past decade of her showing her ass with Frank Cho and Greg Horn covers every month.

It does make sense; Carol's character was conceptualised as a means of capturing the feminist movement of the 70s, so she's always been very tied in with feminist movements and the culture surrounding those movements, which has always informed how she has been depicted and designed. In the 70s, a woman owning her sexuality while also being brazen and physical and fighting with her fists was thought of as more empowering, while in 2012 being more covered and in a position of power and leadership was instead the emphasis. Neither of these positions or lines of thought are wrong, they just speak to different era's priorities shaped by the culture around them.

But it is also that Marvel seemed to become increasingly aware that they lacked a strong female character in their main line up of solo title characters the way DC had Wonder Woman. And with the MCU completely erasing Janet, doing that to Wanda, and making Natasha very much so a b role in other characters' stories, I think there was a growing anxiety that they needed to fill this vacuum with someone, and Carol, who had enjoyed a lot of prominence in the 2000s as an Avengers mainstay, who didn't have the baggage that Janet had and hadn't been ruined by comics and films alike like Wanda was at that time in her history, who already had this legacy of feminism as a core part of her conceptualisation, was the natural choice.

But it has also always come across as kind of... odd. It's always going to stick in some people's mouths, because Carol was not the first woman to hold the Captain Marvel title. Probably other than Mar'Vell himself, she is the most conventional, least challenging person to hold that mantle. Monica Rambeau as the second person ever to hold the title, being a black woman and the first black person period to lead the Avengers, has had that history largely underplayed and ignored (and I don't necessarily think she should "take back" Captain Marvel or anything, but she was the first person to make that title a legacy and it's weird how that has been downplayed to suit Carol's narrative by Marvel). Genis-Vell was interesting as a clearly unstable, mentally ill man holding this power and this legacy, later becoming a villain because of his struggles with his mental health and powers and how they interacted. Phyla-Vell and Noh-Varr are both queer, lesbian and bisexual respectively. Like Carol is probably the least diverse person to hold the Captain Marvel mantle after Mar-Vell, so it was always a little odd how much Carol's marketing and depiction acted as if she was this great figurehead for women with superpowers, who is a massive inspiration by virtue of being Captain Marvel, a woman who leads the Avengers, when Monica did that in the 80s!

But anyway. I don't really think Carol is an "industry plant" in, well, any context, because by virtue of being published by Marvel Comics, every character is an industry plant. They are an inherently money-minded, capitalist entity. Every character is going to be thought of in part by how they sell. If publishing this character or this story will bring in money, or not. That's just big publishers as a whole. Carol's history and trajectory into Captain Marvel, while interesting and representative of a larger cultural movement, is definitely not the first instance of this, and really isn't anything new to big two comics and how they react to things.

[yunamedkostobot]

I just can't do with them

This person speaks like the Grievous POV in Labyrinth of Evil, when he speaks a lot about this events, is non-existent and this book directly preceeded Revenge of the Sith in Legends continuity. So, only magazine article, you know, it does not mean anything, and Jedi are completely innocent about it!

While I do not condone Grievous methods neither in Canon, nor in Legends, the Kaleesh invasion on Huk would not happen if not the Yam'Ree did not attack Kalee first and did not attempt to enslave his population. Where was the Jedi than? Where were they after it, when Kalee outright started to starve?

And it is not the first time when Jedi in Legends failed to help those who were in need.

There was Jabiim. This page when Stratus clearly sums up everything went wrong with the planet.

The planet used to be faithful Republic world, but neither Republic, nor Jedi helped them when they needed it the most. The result? Total majority of people of Jabiim supporting Stratus and CIS. Yep, maybe Stratus is pushing revanshist propaganda, but it would not have made the same impact of people of Jabiim, if there were not quite an objective conditions.

There was Findar with his population being enslaved by criminal overlords for more than ten years. Add the fact, the same overlords who conducted the experiments with memory wiping on people, and only the fact that Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi (who were heading to another mission) crash-landed here saved the findians from future nightmare.

The probability theory says that when one thing happens is the accident, coincidence, when it happens twice, and sistem when it happens thrice. So, make you own conclusions.

And even the argument about it no longer being canon doesn't really works. In Canon, Jedi outright ignored Czerka corporation literally enslaving its workers(what she by this time did not do in Legends). This exchange between Qui-Gon Jinn and Yoda really sums up what is wrong with Order right now.

«Qui-Gon had been too young to see the cracks in the bravado—the pain that all Dooku’s guidance and all Rael’s accomplishments had never been able to erase. “That he would effectively sell citizens into slavery—” “Grievous, this is,” Yoda agreed. Into Qui-Gon’s mind came the echo of Rahara Wick: What’s the point of having a Republic in the first place? “We should put an end to it,” he said. Yoda shook his head. “Not ours to decide, the fate of the treaty is—” “Not the treaty. Slavery.” Qui-Gon folded his hands in front of him, allowing the robes to obscure them—the most formal way in which a Jedi could address another. “Why do we allow this barbarism to flourish? The Republic could use its influence to promote abolition in countless systems where the practice flourishes. How can we fail to do this?” <.....> Qui-Gon’s patience began to wear thin. “This isn’t about imposing human ethics on nonhuman species. This is something humans do to one another, an atrocity we should put an end to.” “We? Not the chancellor, not the Galactic Senate, not even the people of the Republic, but the Jedi?” Yoda thumped his gimer stick on the floor. “Want to rule, do you? Dangerous this is, in one who would join the Council. Dangerous it is in any Jedi.” Qui-Gon knew all of this. On one level, he accepted the truth of it. On the other—“If we don’t stand for the right, what do we do? Why do we exist?”»

From the same book we know that Czerka corporation acts even worse, than IRL Russian nobility up to 1649 or American slave-owners. Their property can not be considered free unless they buy themselves out of it, no matter how long they were absent from Czerka's control(as Rahara case clearly indicates). Up to ratification of Council Code of 1649, Russian serfs who ran away from their masters can be declared as "wanted" only for 10 years and were considered free after that. The black slaves could use the Underground Railroad and get to the North or another country when slavery was illegal.

It's not a case for Czerka. They will never let their former property go, no matter how many time passed since the escape, or where their former subject had gone.

And Jedi stand and allow it to happen. Doing their part in Republic, yep, Yoda?

"Many ways there are of serving the right,” Yoda replied. “We work within our mandates, and there do as much good as we can. To do otherwise, to substitute our judgment for that of the Republic, is to repeat the mistakes of the past.” So instead we make different mistakes in the present? Qui-Gon kept this to himself."

And also, to what mistakes of the past Yoda is referring to? What mistakes are deemed worse than allowing slavery to exist? Even in the Legends the Jedi having closest ties and basically control of Republic(to some level that it can be considered religios teocracy) allowed them to defeat Siths and practically destroy them except one. And even then, after the victory they stepped down(too far IMO). What thing could be called mistake here?

I am gonna specify: the Republic had a lot of problems that have a need to be fixed, but there was one thing that made this state more durable or competent is having Jedi, but not as the «Galactic therapists»(therapy can not be forced onto living being without his desire, if it is not a conversion therapy), but as the protection from arbitariness and exploitation. If some planet was endangered, they could have contacted Jedi and ask for help. The main problem of Order in this case is the fact they did not do enough for the people they should have protected, blindly trusted some reports and never attempted to search for the truth beyond it(Kalee, Galidraan and Pijal to lesser extent) and also hadn't seemed to have their own outposts for survelliance or interference, or some rapid reaction forces since Ruusan reform in Legends(1000 years)/«Starlight Beacon»'s destruction in Canon(200 years). I can not call it anything else but shooting yourself in the foot.

The Jedi should have been more autonomous, should have had their own information information service, outposts in the Galaxy and forces of reaction. It was not necassary to cut their ties with Republic entirely, but distance themselves from Senate, so people wouldn't think that Jedi «blindly serve the corrupt Senate».

Jedi Uncrits: «But the Jedi are only 10.000 for all of Galaxy, they could not do it!»

Well, in this case it's better to drop your practice to recruit children under five(as Rael Aveross's case indicates), abandoning tons of kids and youths elder than this age(like Caris in Legends). Or what, they will not blindly accept everything Council says? Sorry for the Council.

[sillylovingpupper]

So you guys did it again.

So, as of my writing this, Trump is the presumptive winner of the US Election. He hasn't actually won, but barring a major upset he's going to. This time, he's won the popular vote (by a lot, actually, 6 million as of my writing) so there's really not a lot to fall back on. Wow. I have to say, I'm a little less optimistic this time than the last time I wrote a post like this. The Republicans are setting up to have a (narrow) majority in Congress, too. There's a pretty good chance of a full Red government.

So, what do we do now? First and foremost: don't panic. Take a few days, breathe, maybe see how the final votes shake out (we may still get a narrow House victory), but take a few days. Trump isn't going to be president until January. Nothing terrible will happen in the next week or two if you take this chance to rest. Well, not politically. I can't speak for your personal life.

I said something similar in 2016, and I'll say it now. Trump and his people can not change the course of the country quickly. The way this country was designed explicitly prevents that. There's fewer protections now than there were, but the really big, drastic changes he wants to do require an Amendment, which relies on a 2/3rd majority in Congress. The Republicans do not have that. The Trump Republicans don't even have a majority in Congress. So as much as he wants to, he can't gut the country day one. Some of the stuff he wants to do, he can do under Emergency Powers, but not a lot of it. It's not likely that the United States has been dealt a fatal blow today.

However. He can and very likely will make things very difficult for us for the next four years. A lot of Federal Offices are setting up to be staffed by complete loons more interested in breaking things than fixing them. We'll almost certainly see abortion and transgender rights being carved away in the early days of his Presidency, and he has a lot of support for his economic plan. Also he plans to add Musk to his administration, and we know what he tends to do to companies. We'll also probably see a good amount of healthcare in general get cut, and further reduction on corporate restrictions. Trump and his allies are coming into this with a plan this time, as opposed to 2016 when I think even Trump was surprised he won. It's not going to be a big, loud, destructive thing, but there will be damage. This isn't the end, though.

Many of you reading this may feel helpless right now, that's there's not much you can do. You're disabled, you're exhausted from work, you're deep in a red state and in the closet. It's okay to not do something immediately about this.

Living is a rebellious act right now. It's important that you survive. If you have to keep your head down to do it, then do it. Many more of you may be feeling like you can't do enough. Like the only solution is an armed revolt. That may be the case. That's not something I'm really invested in being a part of, for many reasons, but it may be the case, in the worst case scenario. What's even more important, though, is that we come together. Look after each other. Trans people, immigrants, they're in the crosshairs right now, and if you can do something to make them safer, by all means, please do it. If Trump gets his way, a lot of access to education, health, and safety will be curtailed for all of us. This is the time when we pick up where the government steps off. This is the time when we look to our communities, both literally next door as well as online. A strong community trumps the government every time. That's ancient knowledge. It's why the ability for people to organize is one of the first things on the chopping block. So build a community, and be smart about it, especially if you're in a red area. Remember, too, that one of the biggest tools in the fascist toolkit is to divide us along whatever lines they can find. Don't let them. Hold tight. If the person next to you has believes in things that disgust you? As long as they're not harming other people with them, don't push them away. The more united we are, the harder it will be for fascism to grow.

71 million people voting for Trump isn't nothing. But it's less than a quarter of the population. There's still more of us. Protect yourself, protect your loved ones, and don't let anyone tell you it's over for this country. America only falls when we let it.

[blazinghotfoggynights]

If I am basing whether I think Buddie will happen on season 7 alone, I am going to have to say no. I think a lot of the last minutes rewrites were done to accomplish quite the opposite.

My take so far:

Tim seems to be in love with the Tommy Kinard character. Maybe he was originally intended to be a plot device, but it is obvious with the rewrites and forced in scenes that Tim Minear is really invested in Tommy and wants Lou on 911 much more. I believe that season 8 will be used to cement Tommy's place as a regular and even push him to the forefront, ahead of long-time recurring characters like Karen and Ravi. I think he will even get more time than Hen and Chim. I think the only way we don't get a big push for Lou to return and be the next breakout star on the show is if the main cast members all push against it. (Tim seems to be obsessed with the characters who made the 118 a racist, misogynist hellhole. 😒Ijs. Gerrard is back when anyone with RL corporate experience knows someone like him would be blacklisted by any organization that doesn't want to be sued into oblivion. I am sure DeLuca will make an appearance as well. I will probably write a meta about that entire situation.)

From 7 x 4 onward, in interviews and in the show itself, Eddie's heterosexuality has been stressed repeatedly. Buck finding his person has been heavily hinted at. Buck is chasing Tommy shamelessly. Tommy's problematic behavior is being ignored and justified by the writer himself. It is spun as positive, which fans are eating up. This is the setup to separate Buck and Eddie for good and start building up 911 to be the BuckandTommy show.

The absolutely loony arc of Eddie chasing his dead wife's doppelganger served it's purpose. It cemented Eddie's obsession with women. It placed a focus on Eddie's obsession with being with a woman, needing a woman, and being driven by a woman.

Christopher moving back to Texas is possibly the foundation for a Ryan Guzman exit. Christopher probably becomes comfortable in Texas and Eddie, the way he loves his son, will make the decision to go where he is. Maybe Ryan goes to Lone Star. Maybe he doesn't. But it will seal the coffin on Buddie for good, force all fans to accept BuckTommy, open the door the the new power couple, and set up Tim's boost of Tommy's character and Lou's more prominent place in the cast. I can actually see if 911 gets a season 9 and beyond, Lou being pushed to the front. With Ryan gone, and as Buck's partner, Lou could easily jump over every other member of the cast to become the second main focus. I think Buck will remain the primary focus in the foreseeable future,because he is a fan favorite. However, if the Lou fandom continues surging, even Oliver could find himself playing second fiddle.

I think Oliver is completely comfortable with portraying a queer character. But is Ryan? Just because someone did something in the past doesn't mean they are willing to do it now. I think there is a lot going on behind the scenes that is never going to be revealed while the show is still on. Maybe a few years after, someone will spill the tea, but not now. I know which members of the cast I am betting on speaking out first, post show.

Why is no one in that cast, other than Lou, bringing up Tommy or his relationship with Buck? Even the other half of that relationship talks about his coming out and realization arc, his growth, and being in a relationship, but he doesn't give the relationship itself the time of day. Buck and Eddie's dynamic was still being referenced a lot even when Buck is in a whole ass relationship with another guy. That's interesting.

I know the BTS clips are short and fun, but can someone provide one where Lou isn't obviously being ignored and if he is a part of it, it isn't awkward and forced?

[landthatplane-blog]

Another steam of consciousness on Mr Daniel Ricciardo and no sleep so apologies in advance if things are a bit scattered.

A little scared to post because tags have been intense.

Anyways....

Happy for Daniel. Everyone criticized him for taking a break last year (which he clearly needed) and not taking a Haas/Williams seat. People thought that he thought he was too good. Well, he's now taking a seat at the last place team, to rebuild and prove himself. He sees a pathway, but he's taking the step down in hopes for a long view move. He is a multiple race winner and probably could have retired but of course, unfinished business. Beauty of the sport. The comeback. He's allowed the chance to rebuild and is literally starting with a back marker team now and knows he has to prove himself. But now, people are pressed he is in a seat. Again, obviously Red Bull see something in him. If they weren't seeing some indication - based on Red Bull's history of being cutthroat - this wouldn't be a conversation. Even on that Simon Rennie/RB podcast, Simon mentioned not wanting to basically lie or hype Daniel up if the results weren't there. There's a trust there. Luckily, they saw something. They literally can't hire Daniel solely for markeing/PR. Does it help? Of course. Everyone has to find value wherever they can. There's only 20 seats people have to take their opportunities where they can.

Alpha Tauri is a junior team narrative. It was but they've obviously repeatedly put out there they're looking for a restructure with one experienced driver and one younger, and they're going to be using Red Bull parts. Two young drivers (unless you're a generational talent like MV) could very well result in little to no points and they're dead last right now. Haas had to bring back two experienced drivers to make up for the previous years of two young drivers. They need an injection of experience.

Pay Driver - He has not had a family member nor a huge corporation buy his way into the sport. He's built a career where people are interested in him - over 10 years - how can people find a way to penalize that? Again, he can't win. Just because he can pull in interest from huge sponsors - again, after years of building a career, that's just the business. If it was based on that person's definition alone - Lewis, Lando would also be pay drivers. But it isn't based on that factor alone. There's so many factors.

A lot of people deserve things, but this is a competitive sport, so nothing is ever guaranteed. Liam may very well deserve a spot on the grid, but you could also say he never would have had this opportunity if not for DR's accident. Also, if he’s as great as people think he is - I’m not too worried for him. People keep going back to Alex Albon's appendix causing the string of recent events but sometimes I think - this all wouldn't have happened if Daniel hadn't left Red Bull in first place lol. Maybe he'd still have his Red Bull seat now! I don't mean that in a he shouldn't have left, just that his leaving kind of caused a similar effect and gave all these other people opportunities lol. But again, that's not really how it works. They're making decisions based on today's circumstances. And now, he's come back but has to re-earn his spot. His leg up is Christian Horner supports him, but he still has to perform to get back. Just think it's funny people are acting like, there won't be hard work or there's no talent (again, drivers don't forget how to drive). It's complicated and impossible to identify who "deserves" a seat more or less. So many variables and impossible to be definitive (the way some people speak as if they know everything/must be right). Guess, we could argue forever which is what's entertaining. That said....

Professionalism/Kindness. While I think everyone knows that the way McLaren handled Daniel's exit was in poor taste, never once did Daniel complain or make excuses. He was professional and continues to be. The results weren't there. When he was fired (let go, released), he understood it. Acknowledged the results weren't there and this was part of the sport (I'll get into that NY Times article another time - but it was clearly not for a lack of trying). Daniel called Oscar Piastri to tell him no hard feelings. Wanted him to still have a positive start. Even Checo has been asked about Daniel "coming after his seat" and presumably under a lot of pressure for 2025 and his response was also professional and an understanding of the sport. He said Daniel's a friend and there are only 20 seats, there's no hard feelings. It's up to him (Checo) to perform. They all understand. Nobody inherently deserves or is guaranteed a seat. Wish some fans would understand. If the drivers aren't publically pressed about it themselves - maybe everyone just calm down. People are just so nasty, and without actually knowing all the information. Twitter/X is the worst. This should be fun, juicy, competitive but no need to bring hate or be nasty.

That's all for now🤷🏻‍♀️. As always, happy to discuss but please be kind (or funny).

[adracat]

G Witch episode 16 thoughts

Or the episode where the real plot thickens. No offense to earth and Guel but these are the sort of stakes and drama I'm weak for. Truly a wonderful present to receive on this blessed of Sundays! Just in time for Walpurgisnacht too

And we start off strong with this heated Prospera and Bel confrontation! Cont. from last time, Bel just learned Eri Samaya is not Suletta Mercury or even alive anymore, but a mysterious 3rd thing-- her biometric code uploaded to the cloud aka Aerial. We learn her immature body couldn't handle it so she perished. Eri is now entirely composed of Permet particles, and without Aerial housing her consciousness she'll dissipate. The Gundam is literally possessed by a child's ghost.

And it seems with a permet score of 8, the datastorm can be extended with Quiet Zero and create a space for Eri to live. Or that's the implication, I gather. How exactly that would happen is a mystery though I suspect it would mean granting Eri a new physical body, perhaps by 'overwriting' Suletta's mind/soul. (Well this is sounding familiar, isn't it 3h fans?)

But amid all this, there's the matter of Benerit's leadership. Without Delling, they need someone to control the various corporate beasts so it's decided they'll hold an election. Awfully democratic of them tbh. Though I wager leadership might boil down to whoever can crush hardest in a Mobile Suit royale.

We know Shaddiq will be throwing his hat in the ring, as will our prodigal failson Guel by the looks of it. Speaking of, I wish he had a bigger moment with his brother but maybe later? Their surprise was pretty good, and I enjoyed Guel's talk with Petra. She's grown up quite a bit from the shallow bully/fangirl of the first season.

Moving on to Mio, I went nuts over this shot. Suletta is fulfilling all her promises!! Even cleaned her disaster area of a room and messaging three times per day. She's unnervingly good at following directions tbh.

Adored this so much too. Lauda is grateful to GUNDARM for their aid and subsequently clears them of suspicion in the terrorist attacks. He goes out of his way to say Mio is free from the dueling games too, but Mio could care less about that petty nonsense. Her heart and mind is set on Suletta.

Quick mention to Secilia for being the most relatable person in the show. She just wants to sit on this god forsaken couch, watch the drama, and see who'll be Miorine's husbando. She's so funny, I swear.

And ofc we get spacian/earthian hostility in the wake of the attacks. You can't blame these kids for being scared and lashing out at the nearest targets but also Earth House was clearly not involved and aiding students during. Even Lauda of all people can understand that. They are grieving for a friend apparently which just complicates the situation further. Sad for all tbh

Martin steps up to defend his housemates, which was nice to see, but it's Mio who is able to shut down their hostility with a clever bit of blackmail. She's so cool and taking no one's guff this season

Nika had a brief interaction with Sabina, but it was insightful. We understand Sabina's loyalty to Shaddiq now as she's an earthian who was taken in by Grassley. Like Nika, she wants to become a bridge for spacians and earthians. Their methods contrast Nika's but they're all coming from the same place. Sabina is anyway. Shaddiq is a bit more inscutable.

Detective Mio is exploring all avenues in her quest and the space assembly league are all too happy to collaborate. They all find Shin Sei and Prospera suspicious, it seems. Valid observation. She does manage to locate Nika, sorta, and brings that information back to the others.

Mio is so adorable when Earth House thanked her for everything. This is probably the first time in years people appreciate who she is on her own merits and formed bonds that aren't conditional or tied to her father. It was just a really wholesome moment. Ah I love her and Earth House! Especially after hearing that first drama cd sketch.

Shout out to Till for shipping these two like the rest of us. Solid wingman right there. Poor Suletta doesn't quite know where they stand after all this time and doesn't want to be a nuisance, but still desperate to show Mio her dedication.

Just look at this pathetic puppy face 🥺

Only a monster could say no to that look, and luckily for her Mio is an understanding and loving bride.

Prospera Jumpcare. Watch out y'all, this one has a mean bite. Her showing up suddenly was unnerving. For the love of all that is holy, never do this again lady. Creeping me out somethin fierce.

HOO BOOOY where to begin? So 5lan was rejected from Aerial immediately, unlike when Eri was humoring El4n and Mio. Is this a sign she's grown in power or just fed up with 5lan's gremlin antics? Could be a combo of both! I take this as confirmation there were multiple failed clones/instances of Eri and Suletta was the lone sucess. The others look Eri's age. 12 of them in total, making Suletta unlucky 13.

I kinda felt sorry for 5lan here, cause he has a right to want to live and not be a tool but also... I don't like him and wish him nothing but misery for being a creep + striking Bel, who I do love. Poor Bel is not having a good week in between Prospera's guilting and now 5lan's.

And we finally arrive at THE SCENES we've been waiting for. It's so wonderfully tense but also tentatively hopeful at the start. Suletta who wants nothing more than to bridge the gap and Mio who wants the same.

Mio starts off with an empathetic apology, stating she understands Suletta's choice in ep12 even if it was traumatic for her. But the reconciliation derailed the moment Suletta declares her mother was right after all. She did the right thing. Run gain one, move forward and gain two.

Mio is galvanized by this logic and hastens to ask Suletta how she can smile at something so terrible. She might understand why Suletta killed for her sake, but she doesn't get how Suletta can just blindly accept everything is ok; that murder was right. Then Mio goes directly in, striving to make Suletta understand. She presses her about her mother, asking if Suletta would do anything. Including giving up her dream for Mercury or killing again.

Her answer, while terrible, is yes. To all of it. Suletta would forfeit the school for Mercury. Would kill again at the behest of her mother. Would do anything so long as her mother said it was right.

Suletta only sees the positives. She got to go to school, have friends, and meet Miorine who she loves. All because she moved forward at her mother's demand. It's horrifying but it makes perfect sense why she would think this way. It's clear from her anxious gestures she's not wholly oblivious to the horror either, but deems her discomfort inconsequential when she gains so much from obeying.

Hearing this speech is the breaking point for Mio who dashes away, leaving a forlorn Suletta to gaze after her. And we're swiftly shown what exactly she has on her mind

This scene was electric from the start. Someone is finally calling out Prospera's manipulation and while she's unflappable as always you have to admire Mio's fire. She wants Suletta to be freed and doesn't care a whit what Prospera thinks.

GOOOOOD this quote. We know Mio loves Suletta genuinely but Prospera only sees her 'daughter' as a tool to be tossed around and used by others. Her phrasing is disgusting in this exchange. 'She's a good little girl, isn't she?' *shivers*

Prospera proceeds to lay her cards on the table and is amazingly forthright, declaring her intent. She reveals her hungry fixation for vengeance and 21 yr long grudge against Delling.

Ngl it's pretty hilarious that Mio doesn't mind the idea of these adults killing themselves fighting each other so long as she and Suletta are left alone. Mio in protective wife mode fr.

It's not that easy however, as Prospera coerces Miorine to help her with QZ. And the first step is to become president of the Benerit group. Miomio for President 2023!! Will she find a loophole from this dire situation? Cast your votes now as we await what becomes of our stellar cast until the next Suletta Sunday~

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: Of all the many languages you speak which is your weakest one? Do you use those languages?

It’s privilege to learn any language that isn’t your mother tongue. As Ludwig Wittgenstein correctly observed, “The limits of my language means the limits of my world”. If English is our native tongue we put ourselves at a disadvantage because we expect every other nationality to take the trouble to speak it. There seems no incentive to learn a foreign language. We become lazy not just in language but also in other ways including our cultural enrichment, our imagination, and a misplaced sense of our self-importance in the world.

Of the European languages I know, I probably think German would be my weakest. When I was in school in Switzerland you’re brought up in three languages: French, Italian, and German (even if the Swiss speak Swiss German). When I say weakest I mean I can converse fluently, but I don’t have time to read German literature in the same immersive way I would say with French literature or take any special interest in German affairs.

I would say I’m fairly fluent in French now but still prone to silly mistakes. I’ve been told that I can speak without an accent and that is heart warming to know, because that was always the goal once I moved here to France. I don’t really use French in my work as it’s a multi-national entity and so English is the default language of corporate world, but I’m speaking French pretty much the rest of the time outside of work.

I was extremely fortunate to be born into a multi-lingual family where Norwegian and English were spoken from birth. All my siblings were being versed in Latin (not Greek which came years later after doing Classics at university) by the time I was 8 or 9 years old because my father was a classicist and he felt Latin was the building blocks to mastering other languages.

All this occurring whilst we moved lived and moved around a lot in the world such as China, Japan, India, and the Middle East. When I was initially sent to one of the first of my English girls boarding schools I was horrified that most of the girls only spoke English. I thought I was the stupid one for only knowing 6. Boarding school, if nothing else, gave me a great privilege to hone in on the languages I did know and start to learn others.

My parents didn’t take the easy way out and put us children in international schools like all the other expat children. That would have been too easy given how tight knit the British expatriate community was out there. Instead we were left to sink or swim in local schools in places like Tokyo and Kyoto in Japan or Shanghai in China or in Delhi, India. It was a struggle but you soon find your feet and you stumble towards some basic level of fluency.

I’m fortunate that before Covid my corporate work took me often to the Far East and it was a great opportunity to hone what I already knew. The result is I can converse and take business meetings in Chinese and Japanese (though English gets thrown into the mix too).

I would say Chinese is more of a struggle for me these days because I’ve not been back since before the Covid lockdown in 2020. Chinese is one of those languages that can easily melt away if you don’t get the chance to converse in it on a regular basis. Japanese less so, probably because the culture had more profound impact on me than Chinese culture.

Hindi is less of an issue because I have close Indian friends and also I watch Bollywood movies as well as converse with Indian immigrants here in Paris who have local stores. Urdu I learned through the backdoor because Urdu has a spoken affinity with Hindi (if you know Hindi then you know spoken Urdu, more or less, especially in Northern India and cities like Delhi where Urdu was born in the burnt ashes of Mughal India). Reading is another matter because they each use different scripts - Sanskrit for Hindi and Arabic and Persian script for Urdu.

Strangely enough when I was doing my tour in Afghanistan years ago with the British army, I would speak Urdu with local Afghans who served as official translators or were selling goods on the base. These Afghans knew Urdu because an entire generation of Afghan boys and girls grew up in refugee camps on the Pakistani border during the different phases of the Afghan war. I have very fond memories of their friendship and hospitality, but less so of the war itself. 

With Arabic, it had lapsed woefully until I did a posting in Dubai in the past year (as catalogued in my blog) and I found myself suddenly remembering a lot and asking Arab friends. Soon I was able to hold my own amongst my colleagues and corporate clients. In these cultures it’s really hard to stay focused because so many of them speak very good English. So it’s hard to get them to stick with their own language because you want to learn from them - but they want to show off their English proficiency - and so you have to be polite but persistent to stick with Arabic.  

If you’re learning a new language then I hope you stick with it. There’s almost nothing more rewarding in your life than the disocovery a rich culture through language. The key is to find a way to make it fun rather than a trip to the dentist chair for a root canal operation.

Thanks for your question.

[sugar-phoenix]

unfinished rought unedited short story about vampires

alright so the winning vote out of the polls was "yes" so I'm deciding to post my unfinished short story draft here because I'm too impatient to wait until i finish it to post it

My new roommate is a vampire.

How do I know this? Simple.

Johnny Robert-Mulligan told me, about a week after he moved in.

“Now you seem like a respectable man, Daniel, so I'll tell you straight up: I'm a vampire.”

I nodded, thinking that he was joking or high or something.

“I will be having blood packets delivered to me each week. You need not make dinner for two. And don't invite your friends over on nights of full moons unless you want them to be sucked dry.”

We stared at each other for a moment. It was then that I realized that he was being completely serious. And then, he laughed, quite loudly, which scared the wits out of me.

“I'm just kidding, of course,” he said, chuckling.

“Oh, thank God. I thought you were actually a vampire there for a moment.”

“No I am, I am a vampire. I was joking about the full moon thing. That's a werewolf thing, not a vampire thing.”

I only stared at him in shock again.

“Oh, don't tell me you believe in werewolves? Those are completely made up.”

“Well,” I responded, “until five minutes ago I didn't think of the possibility of either vampires or werewolves being real.”

And thus began our odd friendship, of which I learned a great deal about vampires. As it turned out, vampires were a lot less untouchable than I had previously thought.

“Is it true that vampires die from a stake to the heart?” I asked one lazy Sunday afternoon, while we were watching the game. The ads were rolling, and I was eager to take this chance to ask my new roommate more about himself.

“Technically speaking, a stake to the heart could kill anything. You could also kill me by stabbing me, shooting me, running me over, throwing me off a cliff,” Johnny proceeded to count off his fingers. “Anything that would kill you would kill me.”

“Oh, I see. I guess that makes sense.”

“We're not immortal either,” he added, taking a sip out of his Coke can. Although soda did nothing for him in terms of sugar intake or energy, he told me that he had gotten quite hooked on the taste.

“You aren't?”

“No, we're just extremely long lived. I think my great grandfather lived for almost 600 years.”

I let that sink in.

“How old are you, Johnny?”

“I think I'm turning 197 this year.”

I turned to look at him.

“That would mean you've lived through both of the World Wars.”

“Oh yes, I did. I don't remember anything though, I was too young. You see, vampires only reach adulthood at around 150 years of age.” He took another sip of his soda. “You know, come to think of it, my parents might have stolen blood from the opposing sides to keep us fed. I think there was a movement or something. ‘Make The Nazis Paler’ and all that.”

“I see.”

And then the ad roll finished, and we were back to watching the game.

 I neglected to mention that Johnny was roommates with me because we were both enrolled in a local college. I was undertaking my bachelor’s in graphic design, which meant that I was more often than not buried under design projects, the likes of which could run from posters to redesigning entire corporations. Thusly, I would often have myself shut in my room during the busier weeks, specifically midterms and finals.

Johnny told me that he hadn’t decided what his major was, and that he was simply experiencing what college was like. He doubted that he’d have a use for it, to which he told me his mother disagreed, since he would at least need to take a job of some sort and make money, but what was the use if it was only going to last him so long and in about 300 years it would probably become obsolete?

I only nodded and hummed to his explanation. I didn’t quite like thinking about these things. Everything seemed so impermanent when you were a vampire, and as a relatively short-lived human, it was creepy to think about.

Thankfully, Johnny got along quite well with my friends. He didn’t have any friends of his own, which I thought was strange, but it’s possible that he drove them away with his casual talk of things that happened long ago. If you didn’t know he was a vampire you’d probably think he was a freakish nerd of some sort. But because Johnny was my roommate, and because he got along with my friends, they were apt to invite him along with me whenever they had parties.

It was at one of these house parties that Johnny met Cynthia. She was a psych student, and she often twirled her hair around her finger like as if she could will it to curl just by doing so. She always had one or two girlfriends around that she talked to, and rarely did she talk to anyone outside of them. But for whatever reason, she caught Johnny’s eye.

“I think she’s a vampire,” he said to me one day, as I was trying to work with the pressure-cooker in our kitchen.

“Yeah?”  The contraption hissed steam at me, and I prayed it wouldn’t take my eye out. “What gave you that idea?”

“I think—no, I know she’s a vampire. She’s got that quality about her.”

“What quality?”

“Vampire quality. You know, we can sense each other out.”

“I see.” I didn’t particularly believe him, but I wasn’t going to say that either. What do I know, perhaps vampires did have a sixth sense for each other, and perhaps this was what was happening, rather than my initial theory that Johnny had a big fat crush on Cynthia and was secretly hoping she was just like him. Of course, I kept all this to myself.

“Go and speak to her then,” I said.

“What? No. Women must be approached carefully, Daniel, otherwise you risk spooking them away.”

“You speak as though they’re skittish deer. I think you’re just scared of talking to her.”

“Scared? No. I’m simply being strategic.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Strategic, scared. Either way, you haven’t talked to her yet.”

“I will talk to her. Soon. Next chance I get. I plan on it.” I nodded, gingerly lifting the lid of the pressure cooker to reveal the pasta and sauce within.

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