#WE ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO STORM AWAY TO OUR RESPECTIVE ROOMS THATS HOW YOU KNOW DINNER IS OVER

[a-shade-of-green]

do you think it was weird for mike to go to california and experience his first byers family dinner in months just for it to be far too similar to wheeler family dinners

[iouinotes]

Show-off | Mike Ross

pairing: Mike Ross x female!reader

show: Suits

genre: smut word count: 2,9k

summary: you and your co-worker Mike dont get along very well. But when you have something that he needs, suddenly everything is different.

a/n: Just watched the first two episodes of "Suits" and something about Mike is really attractive-

Working in a well-known office as a lawyer has it's advantages. Such as being respected by business people or being able to afford a lot of things, you spend all your evenings analyzing documents rather than meeting actual people.

Nevertheless, sometimes there are also negative factors. For example, my co-worker Mike, who really believes, that he is with his ridiculously skinny tie and sarcastic humor better than the others. Or right now, better than me.

"God, I cant believe you. Can you behave for once?" I use my fingers to push my hair back in frustration, noticing how my head starts to hurt. Its 10 pm and I'm currently trying to stay calm, though because of one man in particular, my nerves seem to be getting thinner within seconds. Valuable time is wasted that I could spend somewhere else instead of with him.

"Now it's my fault, that you don't have the documents with you? Sorry, I can't help you being organized in your own workplace." His voice irritates me. Everything about him is so frustrating.

"I told you, I didnt get the message! How am I supposed to know, that you need something, when you don't tell me anything about it? Maybe you should stop being so childish and ask me in the first place, instead of running to Rachel!" If our job had nothing to do with justice and we werent literally standing in a law company right now, I would kill him. And then I wouldn't hesitate to go to court and say it was self-defense, because I didnt want to hear any of his miserable excuses anymore.

"So what do you think, I should do? I need these documents for tomorrow. Please, I know you don't like me, but it is really urgent." Why does he has such blue eyes? The look he is going me is even more irritating than his voice.

I sign, exhibit my laptop and try to put the pens back, that are laying all over my desk.

"Okay, fine. As I said, the documents are at home, so-" I don´t even get to finish my sentence.

"Great, so I'll meet you there. And I wont even tell anyone, if your place is a mess." His eyes wander over my messy desk, and even If I don´t like to admit it, it's a bad habit of mine. But, he shouldn't make any assumptions about the neatness in my apartment.

"I hope you loose the documents on your way home." At my words, he grins smugly.

"Well, then I could lie and say you didnt found them anymore and I hadnt had the chance to go through them." He leans towards me.

"I'll run you over with my car." He raises his eyebrows at my threat.

"You sure should do something that makes you smile more often. Is that even something you know how to do?" I show him my middle finger and turn to left my office. When I close the door, I hear the laughter in his voice.

"The next storm should be named after you as quickly as you left the room." He follows after me.

"Can you shut up for once? Oh, I forgot. You don´t last one second being silent. Thats a shame, the world could finally heal." His hand rests on his heart, his features fake a hurt expression.

"Ouch. You really don´t like me that much, huh?" His eyes try to search mine.

"You get on my nerves on purpose every fucking day. Should I thank you for that?" I turn my head to look at him.

"Yes, you should. Your life would be so boring without me." He grins at me again from the side, that typical grimace that is always adorn on his face.

"You wish." When I tell him my address, he raises his eyebrows, but before he can make an unfavorable comment, I get into my car.

Darkness surrounds me and when I see him going away, I lower my head to the steering wheel. He really is the best at confusing my emotions.

~~~~~

I turn off the lights of my car and get out of it, so I can finally make my way to my flat. Its not something special, I mean I have a living room, which is quite big and connected to the kitchen, a bedroom and a bath. But I am very lucky, because I have a small balcony, from which I can watch the stars at night. But I usually only do that when I can't sleep.

So, when I enter my apartment, I let my eyes wander over the manageable mess, I put some clothes back in the closet and the dishes in the washing machine. The place almost looks decent, when I hear the doorbell.

As I open the door, I'm nervous for some reason. I let him in and turn to my office drawers, looking for the document.

"Nice place. You live here alone?" His fingers trace my bookshelf, I see him reading the titles.

"No, my wife is still at work." When I look at him dead serious, I see him laugh in surprise.

"So, you do have humor. I thought, you were one of those exceptions that wouldn't be able to do that." He means it as a joke, but something in my chest hurts.

When I reply with a monotonous voice, I see his eyebrows pull together. "I live here alone. That's what you wanted to hear?" I'm getting more frustrated again with every second he's around me.

"No- I didnt mean it that way. I'm sorry. My intentions were good, I promise." When I look at him for a moment, I see his honest expression.

It would be so easier for me to hate him, if I didnt know, he was a good human. Well, most of the time.

We are silent for a moment, but when I hear his footsteps, I tense up.

"What are you doing?" He's now standing right next to me.

"Helping you. You seem a little, tense?" I glare at him for a moment and he raises his hands in defense.

"Just pointed out the obvious. But dont worry. You still look lovely." I stop in my movements at his words.

"Thats such shock for you?" His voice shows surprise and a certain curiosity.

"Only that you say it." I look into his eyes.

"Well, you may think I'm dumb, but I'm not blind."

He just called me beautiful, sort of. It´s confusing me.

When I finally find the documents, I hold my hand out to him.

"I don´t think you are dumb. I think you're annoying. And a show-off. I don´t like that." His eyes follow me.

"What do you like then?" His question surprises me. He slowly takes the documents out of my hand, his finger gently brushing mine.

"I don´t think that is any of your business." I try to clear my voice. His touch makes me shiver.

"Come on, tell me. Would that be so bad?" His whole presence is making me nervous and I feel my hands start to shake.

At work, I can always hide behind a mask, pretend that nothing he does affects me. I can act like I truly hate him, even though I catch myself looking at him, from time to time. Especially when he shows off his intelligence without realizing it, impresses his clients and -I would never admit it- me too. It's a certain charm about him, the way he always knows how to answer, while being mischievous and clever about it.

But now, that he's in my apartment and so close to me, it's suddenly different. And I don't know how to react to him being nice.

"I look for someone who isnt afraid of commitment. Someone who is honest and kind, but who also challenges me. I want to feel safe, so I can put my trust not only in myself."

He nods and is quiet for a moment, I begin to feel stupid for telling him all of that, when he responds.

"I get that. Someone whose shoulder you can lean on when things get too much. Someone who meets your needs, who wants to be in your life. For longer than a one-night stand." He smiles at me and I see for the first time, why I possibly could like him.

"Also, statistics show higher rates of being robbed or kidnapped, when you have one-night stands." This remark almost makes me laugh, even though it's frightening.

"Well, who would even notice, if I would disappear? Probably only my clients, because they need me." I lower my head, being completely honest with him for the first time.

"I would notice."

When I look at him, he takes a step towards me. His fingers gently slide over my shoulder and brush my hair aside, the touch makes a warm feeling bloom in my chest.

"I couldn't annoy you anymore. My life would be pretty boring without you. And it's not so bad to be able to look at such a pretty face every day, even if it always looks at me annoyed, like all the time." I quietly laugh at that, feeling surprisingly good because of his compliment.

We look at each other, now being really close. My eyes travel to his lips and I don´t even know how it happens, but suddenly he is all over me. His lips on mine, his hands on my waist, lifting me up to sit me on the desk. I moan softly when his hands tangle in my hair and he pushes himself closer to me, so that he's standing between my legs. One of his hands gently wraps around my neck and I feel my loud pulse.

My hands move too, stroking his back and holding him closer to me by his tie. As he pulls his lips away from me, he lifts my chin with his finger. Now, looking down at me with widen pupils. I hold his eye contact, forgetting all about my issues with him, when he speaks to me with a deep voice (which I suddenly don´t think sounds irritating anymore).

"Be angry at me tomorrow and mine for tonight. I bet, all your frustration from work and your thin nerves can catch a break, what do you say?"

Not much. Because I pull him towards me by his tie and kiss him again. I don't want to stop at all anymore. He returns the kiss with the same enthusiasm and his hands find their way to my waist again to lift me up again. When he crosses the living room with quick steps and lays me down on the sofa, I already feel out of breath and clearly turned on.

His kisses become more intense, his lips move from my mouth to my neck, leaving marks there. But it feels too good to make him stop.

"I will gladly hear your excuses, when someone asks you about your hickeys tomorrow. Because you will be all flustered, when you think again about this moment. Where you are ready to be fucked by your colleague, who you despise so much." I whimper as he pushes up my dress and his hands pull my tights down to my knees. The cold air hits my skin, but I don't really notice it, because his lips are on my neck again and his fingers connect first with my stomach and then further down. I hold my breath as his lips touch my ear and his fingers stroke my folds.

"So wet for me. Didnt think, I would turn you on this much." I kiss him to shut him up.

"You are-" I moan, when he finally puts a finger in me. "-so annoying." He laughs at me.

"Am I? But you seem to like it." I feel myself getting wetter, his fingers feel so good as they move gently but firmly inside me. One of his hands moves to push my dress further up and somehow, he manages to pull it over my head. Now, I'm lying in front of him in just a bra, his hands slowly find their way over my body and to my back, which I lift slightly so that he can open the clasp.

When I lie naked in front of him and he massages my breasts, his lips touch mine and his fingers stimulate me, I feel like I'm in heaven.

He breaks apart, so he can look at me and I draw my eyebrows together, when his fingers increase in speed. My mouth opens and the sounds that escape me echo in the apartment.

"I'm- god, I think I am going to come-" at that he starts to tease me, going slower but a lot deeper. My eyes almost roll back as he hits a certain spot inside me.

"That feels good? What do you say, when you want something?" You stupid idiot.

"You stupid-" I begin to say as his lips graze my nipple and his finger scissor and stretch me out further.

"One word, darling. Say it." And because I feel this knot inside me (and maybe this side of him turns me on, like a lot), I finally open my mouth to please him.

"Please, Mike. I-I need to-" My sentence is cut off as his fingers speed up and I moan loudly.

"Thats a good girl, you can be so good to me, if I make you." His lips search mine as I finally come. My breathing is heavy and when I come down from my high and look at his face, I see the satisfied expression.

"You are done-" I can't maintain my strict facial expression and suddenly have to start smiling. His eyes widen in surprise and I raise my eyebrows, still smiling softly.

"What?" I quietly laugh at his expression.

"Nothing, its just- I have never seen you smiling so happy." I roll my eyes gently. As I look at him closer now, I see the bulge in his pants and the loosened tie. As I lean forward, his eyes shift to my body.

"You still are fully clothed. A bit unfair, don't you think?" I watch him swallow and my hands move to his chest to slowly unbutton his shirt. As I also remove the tie and slip the shirt from his shoulders, I sit myself on his lap. Rocking my hips forward and seeing his eyes close. His hands move to my hips and begin to control the movements, my eyes close too and my head leans into the crook of his neck as the movements become faster.

Sighs and heavy breaths leave his lips and once again, one of his hands moves to grab my breasts, lightly grazing the nipples.

I look at him, noticing his swollen lips and his flushed cheeks. His hair is a mess and his forehead is furrowed, but he tries his best to pull himself together.

I groan as I look at him and suddenly think back to todays afternoon, when he was on a phone call and I heard how he listed one reciting fact after another, without any difficulty.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"N-nothing" I'm definitely too embarrassed to admit how much his intelligence and the way he seems to know everything, turns me on.

One of his hands moves to my entrance and teases me by just circling around it. When I try to push myself down, he pulls his fingers away.

"You tell me, whats going on in that pretty head of yours and you'll get me." My body feels so hot, I can't think properly anymore.

"You where on a phone call today and you just- you listed without any effort every single point that will help you win the case. You just said it like- it's nothing."

When his fingers dig into me again, I bite my lips. I try to control my moans and not pay attention to the fact, that I just gave him every opportunity to make him be more complacent than his usual self.

His fingers pump into me and I feel slightly overstimulated. But I wouldnt want to stop now.

"You get off by the thought of me, saying memorized facts? Who would have thought that my intelligence would turn you on so much." God, his ego probably doesn't fit in this apartment anymore.

"Don't think too highly of yourself, you still annoy me." Now I'm really just trying to get myself out of the situation. I lean towards him, so he can't say anything anymore and pull on his blonde hair to distract him.

Moans escape my lips and when I notice that his noises are also getting louder, I pull away from him. He looks at me confused.

"I want you inside me." Thats all I say, but he quickly complies with my request. I slide off his lap and wait for him to take off his pants and boxers until he's finally on top of me again. His fingers find my bottom lip and while maintaining eye contact, I open my mouth so he can insert a finger. My tongue brushes against his and after a few moments of him pressing on my tongue, he lets his fingers move back to the spot that needs him the most.

He stretches me for a few minutes until he finally guides his cock to my hole and slowly penetrates me. My eyes close and I hear his breath in my ear as he pushes further.

"You are so tight- good thing finally someone fucks you." I nod without thinking and hear his laughter in my ear.

"You think so too, huh. Would you let anyone fuck you then?" My stomach tenses, I feel the pleasure growing again and every movement of him. This feels so good-

I try to shake my head, but I'm too lost in the sensations to pay much attention to his words.

"No? But I thought, you hate me. Why would you let me fuck you, if you don´t even like me?" His thrusts become faster and more uncontrolled, I feel him getting closer to his own high.

"I-" I try to stutter "d-don´t hate you." I feel myself getting closer and reach into his hair, pulling at the roots and feeling his lips on my shoulder. His thrusts become more powerful and as he moves his hand and massages my clitoris, suddenly everything goes white in front of my eyes and I come.

I feel every inch inside of me, feel his fingers brush over the visible bulge in my stomach and think to myself: god I feel so full

When he comes too, I moan so loudly that it's impossible that my neighbors didn't hear me. His hand finds its way around my chin, he slides a finger into my mouth and I feel my vagina tighten because of it.

He hisses and his thrusts slow down until he finally pulls out of me, trying not to fall on top of me. As I give him some space next to me, he falls halfway on me, but pulls me on top of him in the next second and I can hear his strong heartbeat. With his outstretched hand he pulls the blanket over me, that had fallen to the floor.

We both try to catch our breath and as the minutes pass, only the wind outside is heard. He is the first to break the silence.

"So, you don't hate me?" I lift my head from his naked chest to look at him.

"Only sometimes." He shakes his head and smiles, gently stroking my back.

The evening went by quickly, we ordered a pizza and ate it (clothed) on the terrace. We were going over his documents for tomorrow, I blushed at the thought that this was the real reason he came here, but he just hugged me from behind after we finished and continued watching the stars.

It's not really clear what this evening means for us, but I don´t want to get into that, not yet. Because I'm not sure what it means anyway.

Because now, I have to get used to the fact that his voice no longer irritates me, that his jokes no longer annoy me and that he as a person, is actually not as bad as I imagined.

"Who thought, I was the one to get you relax."

But he is still a show-off.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 7

Day 7 - There is a string tied around your pinky that only you can see, the end of it leads to your soulmate.

Pairing(s): Kid AU! Intrulogical

TWs: Remus being Remus [though not overly so, he’s like, 9 here], some swearing

–

Remus Castillo and Logan Smith were two very different children; former was creative and bursting with chaotic energy, while the latter preferred to be more logical, more stable. One studied hard into the night despite his young years, the other decided that a good time was filling a blender with crayons and silly putty to see what would happen. Both attended different schools, lived a good distance apart, and neither of their families knew the other existed.

What could possibly bring together such opposing forces?

If your answer wasn’t being forcibly dragged kicking and screaming from the local museum by security for tampering with the exhibits and screaming about historical theft, then congratulations; you’re most likely still sane.

How did these very different children meet, you ask? 

The story began on a Friday lunchtime - as all good stories often do - when Sanders Elementary and Faraday Academy For Gifted Children both booked their museum visits for the same time slot. Thankfully, the museum staff speculated that they could indeed handle two classes of fourth graders at once - those poor, unfortunate souls - and decided to start both classes off on either sides of the museum with a little overlap.

Logan entered the foyer with his peers, gazing around at the array of trinkets and treasures adorning the space. Though he hungered for knowledge of all kinds, his heart was set on the cosmos, reaching for a copy of the museum’s map when his hand was blocked by another. He recoiled and turned to face the other; a boy with tanned skin as opposed to his own pasty complexion, with wild green eyes that bore into Logan’s own, and a grin like a shark about to snap Logan’s hand up in it’s jaws.

“I call dibs, four eyes!”

Logan huffed, straightening his glasses, “There are plenty of maps to go around, there is no need for rudeness-”

“Why do you talk like you’ve got a stick up your ass?”, the boy asked with no hint of remorse nor shame, “Just talk like a regular kid, jeez!”

Logan was flabbergasted. No one had ever talked to him like that before. Then again, no one ever really talked to him in general. Perhaps that was why his lonely little brain could only think to stammer out, 

“Who ARE you!?”

The boy roared with laughter, “Wow, thats all you have to say!? And they call ME weird!” , he shot a hand out towards Logan’s, not removing the one touching the map, “I’m Remus! What’s your name, frankenstein?”

Logan huffed, “Logan Smith. And you know,”, he began, puffing his chest out proudly as he yanked the map away, “Frankenstein was the scientist, not the monster, therefore, you’re not insulting me-”

Without hesitation, Remus leant into Logan’s space and licked the map, causing Logan to jolt back and drop it. Picking up his spoils, Remus chuckled manically, “You look smart but you’re super dumb. Frankenstein IS the monster, dumbass, that’s the whole point.”. Without waiting for Logan’s rebuttal, Remus made his way back to his class, leaving Logan to frustratedly grab another map and return to his class, unaware of the string that formed around his pinky…

The tour was everything Logan had hoped for; an informative romp through space and time, enjoying the sights of the planetarium and a walk through a tunnel lined with geodes. And yet, all Logan could think about was that stupid boy who stole HIS map. Hmph! How dare Remus call him stupid! Whatever, at least they would stop soon to have lunch in the Polar Exhibit and he wouldn’t have to think about- 

Oh god dammit.

As they entered the wide circular room, he laid eyes on the boy from before pretending to have gotten his tongue stuck to the giant fake iceberg in the centre of the room. Cheering him on was a gaggle of other children while their teacher seemed more content to just eat his own lunch and try to pretend it wasn’t his problem. Logan huffily stormed over to the nearest empty seat and popped open his Big Hero Six lunchbox, ready to moodily munch his jelly sandwiches when a painfully familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

“We meet again, professor!”

Great.

“Remus.”, Logan hissed, though he tried to maintain composure, “A pleasure, I’m sure but I must be-”

“- crazy to run away from your soulmate?”, Remus finished, leaving Logan, once again, speechless.

“E-Excuse me!?”

“Check your pinkie, dingus.”

Logan checked and finally noticed the string, and to his horror, the end of it that tied itself around Remus’ pinkie.

“Looks like you’re stuck with me for life! Unless I die, then you’re stuck with my corpse. Oooh! Maybe you can bring me back to life! Really earn that Frankenstein nickname-”

“This HAS to be a mistake!”, Logan squeaked, flustered and shocked by the news, “There’s no way YOU are my soulmate!”

Logan made eye contact with Remus and for a moment the boy looked hurt, but he plastered on a grin and poked Logan in the arm, “Nope! Fate thinks you’re my future husband, so suck it!”

Groaning, Logan let out an exasperated sigh, “Fine, then I suppose you should tell me about yourself, Remus.”. Logan would - for eternity and a day after - deny that the smile Remus gave him made his little heart flutter for the first time.

As the two ate, Remus went into a long tangent about his life and Logan found himself absolutely fascinated. 

Remus Castillo had a twin brother, Roman, who enjoyed Disney movies and being “an overly wordy drama queen”. They had a single father, much like Logan’s own, whose wife had apparently decided she was destined for greater things that didn’t involve unplanned twin boys (Remus’ words, not his). Logan listened as Remus told him all about his family’s culture, having moved from Aguascalientes to Florida a year ago for work related reasons; retelling fond memories of watching the parade of Calaveras along the Avenida Madero with his father and brother each year. Logan found Remus really enjoyed a mixture of colourful and morbid subjects, each tangent sending Remus on a fun winding road down memory lane or through a vague memory of some educational book.

Logan Smith had wanted nothing to do with the boy who’d licked his hand and stolen his map, but as lunch ended and both classes were being called away to their respective classes, he found he didn’t want to be separated from Remus.

Very apparently, Remus didn’t want to either. If they way he was gasping Logan’s arm and hauling him towards the class from Sanders Elementary instead of his own was any indicator. 

“Come on! You can hang with us! Roman won’t mind! And my buddy Remy’s lotsa fun too-”

“Remus Castillo, stop right there.”

Remus indignantly ignored his teacher, plowing through his sentence, “You’ll LOVE my class, they’re all weirdos like us-”

“REMUS!”, barked his teacher, already done with the nine year old terror, “You let that boy go this instant!”

Remus defiantly clung tighter to Logan’s arm, “No!”

“Remus Castillo, you’re to let go NOW.”

“But he’s my soulmate!”, Remus yelled, causing his classmates to chatter excitedly. It made Logan feel a little self conscious, but Remus didn’t seem to care, “Pleeeeease let him come with us!!”

His teacher rubbed his temples as if it could massage the exhaustion away, “That’s nice, but you are NOT going to cause more trouble, soulmate or not!”

By now, even the children and teacher from Logan’s academy were watching the commotion. It came to a head as Remus’ teacher tried to separate the two of them, earning the tiniest war cry from Remus as he stomped on his teacher’s foot and clung fully to Logan like his life depended on it.

“I’M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT HIM! I’LL STAY HERE UNTIL WE’RE A GROSS MUSHY PILE OF SKIN AND BONES IF I HAVE TO!”

With that pleasant image in his brain, Logan decided to perhaps appeal to his own teacher,

“Miss, can Remus perhaps stay with our group so we may avoid further-”

“Absolutely not,”, she turned up her nose at Remus’ display, “Our school has a reputation to uphold, I will not have it sullied by such a rude child.”

Well that backfired. Now both teachers were having to try and separate the two of them. It took two of the museum’s security personnel to finally haul Remus off of Logan, carrying the writhing child as they assured his teacher that they’d put him in the tantrum room. With the way they handled his feral yelling and attempts to grab at any nearby exhibits for something he could use to bash them with, this probably wasn’t their first Rabid Child Rodeo.

Logan watched dejectedly as they hauled his soulmate out of sight while his teacher ordered him to get in line as they continued their tour. He couldn’t focus on any of the various bewitching artifacts that the guide presented to them on their tour of the ancient world though, all he could think about was Remus. Alone. Stuck in some room. Missing out on the exhibits. Missing him.

“....Emile?”, Logan asked the boy standing to his left.

“Yes, Logan?”

“I’m about to do something very, very impulsive.”

“.... Okay?”

“And reckless.”

“...Right-”

“In the name of fate.”

“........”, Emile sighed, “What do you need me to do?”

“Either talk me out of what is likely a terrible decision that will without a doubt go on my permanent record and possibly disappoint my father. Or encourage me so that I may spend time with my soulmate for as long as possible.”

Emile shook his head, “Well, if cartoons have taught me anything, it’s that you’re gonna go for it no matter what I say so...”. He placed a hand on Logan’s shoulder, “Make it good, Logan, I wanna remember the day the untouchable Logan Smith lost his mind.”. With a shared chuckle, Emile let him wind up for whatever he was about to do, while Logan waited for his moment. The tour guide was gesturing to an exhibit of ancient Mayan armour when Logan chose to strike, raising his hand while Emile awaited the fireworks show to come.

“Sir? I have a question.“

“Of course, what is it?”

“Did the museum ask permission to have that armour?”

The guide looked confused while Logan’s teacher looked ready to have an aneurysm.

“I… don’t understand what you mean. Anyway this-”

“I’m merely asking,”, Logan interrupted, ready to keep pushing until he would be  hauled off by security, “because I believe that if it were my culture being mercilessly appropriated and stolen from, I would be rather upset.”

“We’re allowed to have it because it’s for education-”

“But it’s still stealing. And stealing is always wrong, correct?”

“Well, it-”

“It’s a yes or no question, please answer as such-”

-

Remus hadn’t expected company in the tantrum room, but he wasn’t complaining as Logan was marched in, looking positively proud of himself in spite of the way the security guard nearly tossed him inside with obvious frustration. With a bright grin, Remus pat the beanbag next to him, positively writhing with unbridled joy, “Spill! What’d you do?!”.

Logan tried to play stoic and prideful, but the excitement cracked through in his voice, “I merely inquired as to why museums considered their historical thievery to be ethically justified until the tour guide got angry and attempted to ignore me.”. “Sick!! Then what!?”, Remus’ delighted eyes met Logan’s with a similar sparkle of mischief.

Logan chuckled as he admired their string of fate, as people called it, slowly pulling his eyes from it to meet Remus’ again, “I screamed. Loudly. For quite the duration. I must say, I’m rather proud of my own lung capacity.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but there was a fondness in it.

“Naturally, security came to try and calm the situation.”

“And then they brought you here?”

“No, they attempted to calm me down”, Logan snickered, “But, one of them put a hand on my shoulder rather rudely. So I bit them-” “YOU BIT ‘EM!?”, if Logan could bottle the light that radiated from Remus there and then, he would have, his own smile growing while his soulmate’s grin threatened to tear through his cheeks, “Logan, mi alma, you’re insane! I love it!”

“Mi alma?”, Logan queried, his cheeks losing the great blush war as his face radiated a nice rosy crimson.

“Oh, right!”, Remus explained, “It means ‘my soul’, it’s what people call their boyfriends ‘n’ stuff back home. I figured since you’re my soulmate, it makes sense to call you that!”

For a moment, Remus faltered, “Uh…. if you don’t mind I guess? It’s whatever, I’ll stop if you hate it-”

“No, no, I rather appreciate the sentiment,” , Logan awkwardly smiled back at Remus, “Mi alma?”

The wilder of the two threw his head back in a roar laughter, “Man, your pronunciation sucks! And that’s an easy one!“, he teased as he shuffled his beanbag closer to Logan’s and continued with a wild smile, “Looks like I gotta stay with you for sure now and make sure you get it right! You’re stuck with me, Nerdy Wolverine!”

It would be hard work convincing his father to let him move schools to be with Remus, Logan knew that. Despite the fact his father adored love in all forms and regarded the bond of soulmates as sacred, Logan knew it’d logically be a hard sell to ask his father to not only pull him out of an expensive academy, but also to have him possibly move home or make a rather lengthy commute. 

But as Remus’ had met Logan’s, the latter found himself locking fingers with his wild soulmate, banishing that thought while they still had time together. Whether it would work out right away, after a couple of months, or even over the course of a few years, they’d make it work.

“Falsehood,”, Logan smirked, “I believe it’s you that’s stuck with me.”

-----------

Okay, this one’s the cutest thing hands down. I’m so proud of this one! As a tidbit, I had it in mind that their single fathers were Janus for the twins and Patton for Logan. 

@tsshipmonth2020

Taglist: @somehow-i-got-an-account @cateye-glasses

[sardinesandhumbugs]

dude dude empty chairs at empty tables from les mis that line "oh my friends, my friends, forgive me that I live and you are gone" thats BADGER

A/N: asdlfjadslfjadsf your mind, nonny. This was meant to focus solely on Badger and his losing Rat Sr and Toad Sr, but then, naturally, this broadened out to Badger and grief in general.

For obvious reasons, trigger warnings for death.

(Also, yes, I am still working on these prompts, so if you are waiting on one, fear not! It will get written... just very, very slowly. @wolfiethewriter I snuck the hat story in!)

x

It had been a bitter winter that year. A selfish winter, taking so much and giving nothing in return.

And Badger is tired.

Toad Sr had been the first one to go – an impossibility to anyone who had known him, but, then again, life cared little for probabilities. It took the indomitable toad in a cascade of carriage wheels and snowblind storms and slick roads and Badger was left with nothing but a funeral to prepare alongside his mourning friend.

"It's how he would have wanted to go," Rat says in the twilight hours following the funeral.

(To many, Rat is now Rat Senior, but Badger finds the epitaph weighs heavily on his mind; it's a constant reminder that his friend (and he) are ever growing older while the generation below settle into the youthful energy that he and Rat had once enjoyed.)

"What?" Badger grumbles. "Dramatically?"

"No. Quickly." Rat sighs and readjusts the blankets around himself that are far too numerous for an armchair by the fireside, even in the bleak midwinter. "He would have hated to fade away slowly."

"One would think he'd much rather have not gone at all," Badger says.

"We must all go eventually, Badger."

"Maybe. But not any time soon. Not yet."

"We're not so young as we used to be."

"Neither are we so old as to welcome death as a familiar friend," Badger answers with rancour.

Rat gives a breathy half-laugh. "Even so, it seems like a long time since our first meeting. Do you remember it?"

"Like it was yesterday," Badger says, and he does not add that it is not long ago enough, not by half. Not by a long shot. "Toad invited us both for a meal at the Red Lion Inn. You looked like you thought I might eat you."

"Can you blame me? You were scowling at me something rotten." Rat chuckles sheepishly. "Truth be told, I'd never really met a badger before then – they always seemed to keep to themselves, and you're not the least intimidating of animals."

"I suppose we're not. We're not really Undergrounders or Wild Wooders, and we're certainly not Riverbankers." He hesitates. "We're just Badgers."

"Well, that never bothered Toad."

"No, it didn't."

A pause lingers between them, a silence for the animal who would have filled it within a heartbeat.

"Toad was the first animal I could honestly call a friend," Badger says eventually. The words sit heavily in his lungs, a truth he has been avoiding since the news came of Toad's demise. "A sorry state of affairs to reach at that age, but most other animals veered on the same opinion as you did," and he nods to Rat (not accusing nor bitter, only the lonely truth), "that we were a solitary type and best left to our own devices. And then he introduced you, his oldest and dearest friend, and I suppose some part of me felt..."

"Territorial?" Rat offers with a rueful smile.

"I suppose that is one word for it."

"And now look at us."

"How the tables have turned," Badger agrees.

Rat gives a breathy half-laugh. "We've had some times though. Do you recall the night Toad showed us the tunnels beneath the Hall?"

"I remember it, but I'm surprised you do. You were three sheets to the wind, and then some." His words are admonishing, but his tone is affectionately amused. "You and that blasted amphibian."

"If I recall correctly, you were singing as loudly as either of us."

"I wasn't the one who dove head-first over a wall in trying to catch his hat."

Rat snorts. "It was a low wall."

"Not low enough and there was a drop on the other side. I was prepared to climb over to fetch your hat back for you, but you just shouted–"

"'Grab my legs,'" Rat choruses with a chuckle.

"–and leapt head-and-arms over it without even checking to see if I was there, like it's an impromptu trust exercise."

"You did catch me though."

"A few drinks later and I might not have." Rat's humour is contagious though, and Badger finds himself smiling along at the chaotic memory. "I just turn to see a pair of legs rapidly sliding over the wall and all I can think is I'm not trained for this kind of thing."

"It was a good hat."

"It better have been one-of-a-kind for that stunt."

Rat gives a laugh that shakes at the edges and ends abruptly with a sharp, pained inhale. The smile returns quickly after, but it is watery and the carefree humour has faded.

(Badger makes no comment on the rattle in his friend's laughter, just as he has made no comment on the sudden breaths Rat takes between words, nor how the water rat has slipped quietly from captain to passenger aboard his own boat, relegating the rowing to the generation below.)

(Maybe, if he doesn't comment on it, it won't matter.)

(Maybe, if he doesn't comment on it, Death won't hear and will pass his remaining friend by.)

Rat's paw finds Badger's, and although his friend's has always been dwarfed by Badger's, it now feels frailer than before. The grip is tight though, and the fervour unnerves Badger.

"Don't retreat," Rat says. "When the time comes, don't hide back in your sett."

Badger cannot promise that. "When the time comes?" he echoes instead.

Rat smiles, but there is sadness in his eyes that tell he is not fooled by Badger's feigned ignorance. "First friends will always be special, but they're a beginning, not an end, Badge," and the smile does reach his eyes in that moment – at the nickname that had been so commonplace in their more youthful years. "And, whatever anyone else might think, you are not a solitary animal."

x

And then there is one.

Rat's passing had been as slow as Toad's had been quick, and that cruel winter had hemmed Badger and his fading friend and the barely-beyond adolescent Ratty in a house that stank of death.

(A blessing, said animals who didn't know better, that he eventually went; better for all that the suffering should finally end.)

And as he attends the second funeral in as many months, towering over the heads of the above-ground folk, he feels keenly the buffering that his riverbank-born friends had granted him. Animals who had once earnestly invited the trio for drinks now offer faltering commiserations with gazes that refuse to meet his, and there is more than the awkward shadow of grief that hound his conversations.

The Undergrounders see him as more Wild Wood than one of theirs (after all, his home is in the wood's depths; how much more Wild Wood could one get?) and the Wild Wooders regard him as one of the Undergrounders (they pay their respects, for his medical knowledge has helped more than one of their kind, but he is not one of theirs, he is of the earth) but it is the Riverbankers who break his heart the most. Their eyes flicker to the Wild Wooders, to the Undergrounders, and it is clear that he has been a visitor to their world; a tourist staying by the grace of his friendship, but that friendship is buried beneath the ground and he should follow suit.

He stays through the funeral, for respect to his late friends – and their offspring, who are too shattered to bear the brunt of well-meaning animals alone – and he stays civil, despite the keening anger that sits in his heart. Instead, he speaks in steady, unerring words of the Rat he had known, and he is too tired to correct the animals who mistake his dry eyes for detachment.

He is tired, and he is alone and his friends are gone.

So let the Badger who sung at Rat's wedding and danced at Toad's die alongside them, he decides. There is no room for that Badger anymore.

He packs up the part of him that begrudgingly endured society and the world lets him. Badgers had always haunted that sett; they are a somber, to-themselves kind of animal and the fact that the current badger had been an outlier is something comfortably and quickly forgotten.

x

Toad Jr and Ratty have yet to shed their childhood nicknames, but in time they will pick up the moniker mantels that their fathers have left in their wake – and Badger cannot watch it happen. There is already too much of their fathers in them – or perhaps not enough. In their sons are left uncanny valleys of the animals he had once known; ghosts that linger in rogue phrases and remnant gestures, echoes of a time that are forever lost to him.

And maybe there is too much of their fathers in him. For, in the wake of their fathers' passing, neither animal loiter on his doorstep for more than the acceptable allotted condolences, both given and received. There is no outreach of mutual mourning to tie them together; only the bitter memory of what has been lost to render each presence painful.

Barely beyond puphood, Badger finds himself thinking as Ratty (still Ratty, always Ratty. Rat was his father; Rat was his lifelong friend; Rat is gone) shakily takes the meal that Badger has brought. They both are grieving, but Ratty is young and hopeful and, even as the sickness had stolen more of his father away, he had never quite believed that it would do the unforgivable until it was too late.

But Badger has sat with his grief so long that it feels like well-worn slippers. Every time he had visited his friend's parlour for lunch, or by the fire with drinks, or smoked out on the jetty, his mind had whispered perhaps this will be the last time. So when he and Ratty share that meal and the conversation is a muted, disquieted thing, Badger accepts the truth that his grief has been promising.

Ratty is not Rat.

Rat is gone, and Badger remains.

When Badger leaves that once-cosy riverside abode, it is with the knowledge that he will not return to his late friend's home until its present owner comes to Badger's sett on his own terms. He will not darken Ratty's door with reminders of his grief until Ratty is ready.

(It doesn't occur to him that Ratty might be thinking the same thing; that he saw the flinch in Badger's stoic form as his turn of phrase cut too close to his father's, or the quickened breath as he for a moment – but, oh, what a cruel moment – mistook Ratty for Rat Senior.)

(It doesn't occur to him that Ratty might see his own absence to Badger's doorstep a similar kindness, or take Badger's retreat to his sett as confirmation.)

(And so the cycle continues.)

x

Badge becomes Badger becomes Mr Badger, and suddenly he is the old, intimidating animal that he had seen his grandfather and his father become. He is not quite Wild Wooder and not quite Undergrounder, and he had forgotten that in his time playing as a Riverbanker, but none have space for him now.

Rat is gone and a badger he doesn't recognise remains.

That is, until a lost mole and a water rat wander to his doorstep one cold autumn night.

There is so much of Rat in his son that, even now, the grief runs riot through Badger. Ratty is no longer the scruffy pup hanging on to his father's coattails, nor the gangly, grief-stricken adolescent shakily reheating a mourning meal, but an animal comfortably settling into adulthood.

There are differences, of course (there is a tension to Ratty that easy-going Rat had rarely possessed, and a sharpness to his words that betray a difficult time of it) but when he laughs, it is Rat's voice that Badger hears.

It is not the raucous fracas that Rat would employ (Toad Senior had laughed so loudly, so infectiously, that Rat had caught some of his careless volume) but there is enough of it. And so even when Ratty reintroduces himself as Rat, Badger can't help but stick by Ratty.

Still Ratty, always Ratty. Rat was his father; Rat was his lifelong friend. Rat is gone.

Rat is gone, but Ratty remains and he needs Badger's help.

There is enough of the Badger that once was that he rises to the occasion. He braces for that same uneasy grief he had met with in the aftermath of the funerals, but not for the almost-filial manner Ratty and Toad appeal to him with – nor for the fragment of something he hesitates to call paternal responding in kind.

It is different, but that's no bad thing.

For Ratty and Toad are not their fathers, but neither is Badger the Badger that once was.

He is different.

But maybe that's no bad thing.

[themetaphorgirl]

I asked for cute and cuddly things so I could write something adorable!! I tried to combine as many as possible!

@therestisconfettis​ : “the psolc babies making a pillow fort!!”

@birds-are-better-than-you​ : “My brain immediately goes to people actually listening to him talk instead of cutting him off, but thats just rooted in sadness”

@fragolinaa​ : “I just want people cuddling him, maybe someone who hasn't yet like Emily or Dave?”

@purpleturtle31extra : “Spending an off day exploring music together! Like showing him songs that remind you of him or a certain memory..”

anonymous: “cute cuddly idea: u mentioned Emily and Dave getting Spencer legos. Write a little thing of a rainy day or whatever and everyone’s just chilling building random shit with legos and then there’s gonna be Spencer actually building something with proper ratios and actual potential urban planning and everyone else is just like “hmm... I have built something vaguely resembling a plane”

anonymous: “omg cuddly mom alex?? maybe spencer napping with her and he has a nightmare??”

I hope I touched on everything!! I think I captured at least a little bit of everything!!!

----------

“Hey,” Emily said. “Are you feeling okay?”

Spencer dragged his fork around his plate, his chin resting heavily in his hand. “I’m not hungry,” he said dully.

“This is your last day to eat whatever you want,” she pointed out. “Go get something sugary. Donuts or something.”

He shrugged, and she bit back a sigh. Everyone else had left on Wednesday afternoon to spend Thanksgiving break with their respective families- literally everyone, even Hotch- and while they’d had a nice Thanksgiving at James’s house, and she was enjoying having her room all to herself, she and Spencer had been left behind, and the kid was moping like it was his job. She was starting to figure out that while he liked doing things on his own, he needed the security of knowing that everyone else was nearby.

“I guess I’ll go get some chocolate milk or something,” Spencer sighed, sliding down from his chair. 

“See? There you go,” she said. “Treat yourself.”

As soon as he slid down from his chair and trudged away she pulled out her phone.

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:09am

You guys need to help w the kid hes so sad i dont know what to do

James texted back first, which didn’t surprise her.

doctor james, medicine man

9:10am

Is he okay? 

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:10am

HES SAD I CANT HANDLE IT COME HELP ME

spaghetti grandpa

9:11am

He’ll be fine. He knows everybodys coming back today right?

the cause of hotchner’s headaches

9:12am

HE IS SAD NOW COME OVER

She set her phone aside as Spencer walked back up to the table with a carton of chocolate milk in his hands. “Can you open this for me, please?” he asked. 

She did and handed it back, but he didn’t drink it. “How about we go watch a movie or something?” she suggested. “While we’re waiting for everybody to get back on campus. That’ll be fun, right?”

He shrugged. “I guess,” he said. “What time is it?”

“A little after nine.”

He scrunched up his face, calculating. “Who do you think will be back first?” he asked.

“I don’t know, babe, we’ll have to see,” she said. “Drink your milk and we’ll get out of here.”

He sighed. “I don’t think I want it anymore,” he said. She shot him her best impression of Alex’s mom look. He rolled his eyes, but he drank it anyway.

Outside the dining hall it was cold and gray and dreary, rain falling just steadily enough to be irritating. She pulled the hood of her jacket over her head and made Spencer put his purple galaxy-print raincoat on over his his sweater before they walked down the steps. 

“Do you think the weather will ground planes?” he asked anxiously. 

“Your guess is as good as mine, squirt,” she said. “It’ll definitely rain all day, but I don’t know if it’ll affect planes. You’ll probably know better than me.”

He said nothing, but he slipped his small hand into hers. She squeezed back gently. The kid had been perfectly well-behaved the whole time she’d been left to watch him, but it was frustrating to see him so sad and quiet and droopy. She didn’t think it was possible to be homesick for other people, but Spencer definitely had a bad case of it.

They settled in the common room, but the cozy space seemed cavernous and empty without the rest of the group. Spencer left his coat and his shoes in his room and settled into Alex’s usual spot on the couch, leaning on the armrest. 

“So what do you want to do, kiddo?” she said. He raised and lowered one shoulder. She huffed. “I’ll just pick something then.”

“Nothing scary, please,” he said, his chin resting on his folded arms.

“No, don’t worry, I learned my lesson,” she said. She grabbed a Star Wars off the shelf- she wasn’t sure which one it was, but she figured she couldn’t go wrong with something sci fi.

“Hotch’s plane lands at eleven, right?” he said as she plunked down on the opposite end of the couch.

“I think so,” she said. She reached over and ruffled his hair lightly. “Stop overthinking, you’re going to blow a fuse in there. Everyone will be home soon, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried,” he mumbled.

They got about halfway through Star Wars (she still wasn’t entirely sure which one it was) when they heard Dave and James on the stairs. “Hey, guys!” Dave called. “We’ve got presents!”

Emily paused the movie. “What do you mean, presents?” she said. “What’d you bring me?”

James and Dave each held large plastic tubs that they dropped with heavy clatters on the floor. “Spencer, you’ve been having fun with the legos we got you for your birthday, right?” James said.

Spencer raised his head. “Yeah,” he said slowly.

“Well, we decided to dig around for our old lego collections you can have your own giant collection,” Dave said. 

He slid off the couch. “Really?” he said.

“Yeah, absolutely,” James said. “Go get yours, we’ll put them all together.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up. “Okay!” he said, darting off to his room.

“Oh my god, thank goodness you two are here,” Emily said. 

“You know, you said he was sad, and I didn’t believe it till I saw him,” Dave said, wrenching the lid off the first bin. “He looks like a deflated balloon.”

“See? I wasn’t lying,” Emily said. “Poor kid has been moping all week.”

James checked his phone. “Hopefully everybody will get in without any problems,” he said. “Alex texted me a little bit ago and said they delayed her flight by an hour.” 

“Oh, yikes,” Emily said. “She’d better get back here soon. And don’t tell the kid that, he’ll worry more.”

Spencer ran back into the room with his legos. “How should I organize them?” he asked. “Color first or size first?”

“How about we, you know, build something?” Dave suggested as he sat down on the couch. “C’mere, passerotto, I think I have all the pieces to the batcave.”

“Ooh, which version?” James asked as Spencer sat down on the floor in front of Dave.

“I don’t know. I think I built it once when I was Spencer’s age and then never touched it again.”

Emily leaned over James and scooped up a handful of plastic pieces. “What are you going to build?” she asked.

“Hey, don’t copy me!”

They worked on their projects mostly in companionable silence, sometimes absent chatter. Rain continued to tap at the windows. At least Spencer seemed distracted at last, focused on his projects.

Lightning cracked, white light shining through the window for a brief moment, and everyone jumped; Spencer knocked over one of his structures. “Holy shit,” Emily said. “That was terrifying.”

“You okay?” Dave asked, touching Spencer’s arm lightly.

He nodded, leaning against Dave until he lifted him onto his lap. “Do you think everybody’s okay?” he asked. “Planes can’t always fly in this sort of weather.”

“I’m sure everybody’s fine,” Dave reassured him. Spencer bit his lip, still staring out the window. “So what have you been building?”

“Scale model of campus,” he said. “Well, it’s not exactly to scale. But it’s pretty close.”

James held up a lump of legos. “This was supposed to be a plane,” he said. “But it doesn’t look particularly aerodynamic.”

Spencer laughed. “What kind of plane is it supposed to be?” he asked. “It looks like an off-kilter Cessna.”

“I don’t know. Just...a plane,” James said. 

“I’m trying to see how tall I can build this thing without it falling over,” Emily said. “Not much success yet.”

“I’m sure you know, caro,” Dave said, poking Spencer lightly in the side. “How tall is the tallest lego structure ever?”

“The tallest one is in Milan, it’s a hundred and fourteen feet, eleven inches tall,” he said. “The previous tallest was just a hundred and fourteen feet tall, in Budapest.”

“Milan, hm?” Dave said. “Maybe I’ll go see it next time I’m over there.”

“There’s one in Tel Aviv that was built to be four feet taller but-”

Lightning cracked again and Spencer jumped. Dave rubbed his back lightly. “It’s okay, it’s just a bad storm,” he said. It was too late, though- the attempts at distraction had failed, and Spencer was clearly back to worrying, the corners of his mouth tugging down.

Dave looked over at Emily. What should we do? he mouthed. She shrugged helplessly.

Thankfully, right at that moment heavy footsteps echoed on the stairs. Spencer raised his head. Please let it be one of our group, please let it be one of our group, Emily thought fervently.

A tall figure in a rain-soaked coat made it to the top of the stairs, almost terrifying for a split second, but he threw back his hood and shook his head. “Jesus, that was a nightmare,” he said. 

Spencer scrambled to his feet and ran towards him, nearly kicking Dave in his haste. “Hotch!” he shrieked, throwing his arms around his waist.

“Hey, kiddo!” Hotch said, bending to hug him. “Hey, careful, it’s raining really hard out there, I’m drenched and I don’t want you to get wet.” 

“How was your flight?” James asked.

Spencer, undeterred, still clung to Hotch; Hotch ran his fingers through his thick short curls. “Unbelievably shitty,” he said. “Flights were getting canceled left and right, it’s just storming bad everywhere. If I hadn’t gotten such an early flight, I might not’ve made it back.”

“That’s what we’ve been worrying about,” Emily said. “And when I say we I mean Spencer.”

Hotch tugged him back so he could see his face. “Hey, stop worrying,” he said. “Everybody will get back eventually. I promise.” 

“I can’t help worrying,” Spencer said. “What if everybody’s flights get delayed? What if something happens to their planes. What if-”

Hotch scooped him up. “Hey, I think the dining hall’s open for lunch,” he said. “Anybody else hungry? I didn’t have time for breakfast before my flight and all they gave me was one packet of pretzels.”

“They stopped giving away peanuts because of allergies becoming more common,” Spencer said, leaning his cheek against Hotch’s shoulder even though his coat was soaked with rain.

“Yeah?” Hotch said. “How about you go get your coat and your shoes, okay? I’m starving.”

“Okay,” Spencer said reluctantly. Hotch set him back down on his feet and he ran down the hall to his room.

“I am so glad you’re back, Hotchner,” Emily said, sweeping her lego tower back into the bin. “He’s been so sad with everybody gone.”

“I can tell,” he said. “Has he been like this the whole time?”

“Oh, yeah,” Emily said. “I’ve barely been able to get two words out of him.��

“Even when they came over for Thanksgiving he wasn’t talking much,” James added.

Hotch sighed. “I didn’t even think about this,” he said. “Poor kid.”

Emily’s phone buzzed. “Oh, it’s Penelope,” she said. “I’ll put her on speaker. Hey, Pen, how’s it going?”

“Terrible!” Penelope said, her voice crackling over the line. “I made the flight from California to Texas for my layover, but they canceled my connecting flight. It’s storming too bad.”

“Oh, yikes,” Dave said. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she sighed. “They have me booked for a flight first thing in the morning, and the airline is putting me up in a hotel for the night, but it’s so frustrating.”

“I’m sure,” James said. “Stay safe, okay? Do you need anything?”

“Are you kidding? The hotel has like a million channels and room service, I’m doing great!” Penelope said. “I’ll call you guys in the morning before my flight, okay? Talk to you soon!”

Emily sighed as the call ended. “Well, that’s one down,” she said.

“Penelope’s not coming?”

Spencer peeked out of the hall, his rainboots on and his coat dragging from his hand. “Yeah, her connecting flight got canceled,” Dave said. “But she’s safe, and she’ll be on a flight tomorrow, okay? So don’t worry.”

Judging by the way he pressed his mouth together, he definitely was worried. Emily pushed herself up from the floor. “Let’s go get lunch, okay?” she said. “Before Hotch starves.”

The rain had gotten decidedly worse, coming down in heavy sheets and flooding patches of the courtyard. Her umbrella helped a little but not much; Dave complained loudly the entire walk over. Spencer stayed glued to Hotch’s side, clinging tightly to his hand even once they made it to the warm safety of the dining hall. 

Hotch pulled Spencer’s hood down as they got in line. “What do you want?” he asked. 

“I’m not hungry,” he said.

He frowned, then covered Spencer’s ears. “Emily, be honest,” he said. “Did he eat while we were gone?”

“Not for lack of trying,” she said. “I kept putting shit on his plate and he barely touched it.”

“Did he just eat ice cream and candy?”

“He didn’t even want sweets. Or coffee, even.”

Hotch’s frown deepened. “Well, shit,” he said. He dropped his hands to Spencer’s shoulders. “Okay, kid, you have to eat something. If you don’t pick, I’ll pick for you.”

Spencer shrugged. “That’s fine,” he said. 

Hotch met Emily’s gaze, eyebrows raised. “I told you,” she said. 

She followed Hotch down the cafeteria line as he filled up two plates. Spencer stayed so close he ran the risk of getting stepped on, his small hand clinging to the hem of Hotch’s jacket.

Dave and James had beaten them to their usual table, and neither of them looked particularly happy. “Bad news,” James said. “JJ just called. Her parents rescheduled her flight. They were worried about the storms, so she’ll be here tomorrow afternoon.”

Emily glanced over at Spencer. “But she’s okay?” he said anxiously.

“She’s fine, caro,” Dave said. “And she’ll be here tomorrow.”

“What about Derek and Alex?” he asked. “Have they called? Or texted.”

“Not yet,” James said. “Maybe they’re already on their flights, though. I”m sure we’ll hear from them soon.”

Hotch set the tray down on the table, then picked Spencer up and set him down in his chair. “They’ll be fine,” he said. “So how did Thanksgiving go for you guys?”

Even with their attempts at changing the subject and trying to draw him into the conversation, Spencer seemed to sink further into himself, his legs tucked up under him and his chin resting in his hand, his plate still mostly untouched. Emily couldn’t blame him for being sad. All week it had been just the two of them in the nearly-deserted dining hall, and even with the boys there it seemed wrong without the rest of the group- Penelope shrieking about something that didn’t need to be shrieked about, Derek regaling them with stories from football practice, JJ’s pretty laugh bubbling over, Alex keeping the peace and stopping cups and plates from getting knocked over and tilted onto the ground.

Hotch didn’t make much headway getting Spencer to eat, but at least he ate a little bit, and their little group braved the storm to get back to Lincoln House. “What have you guys been up to?” he asked as they settled in the common room again, coats and umbrellas hung up to dry.

“Legos,” James said. “This was supposed to be a plane.”

Hotch laughed. “Yikes,” he said. “I’m glad you’re not planning on going into engineering.”

“Yeah, probably for the best,” he said ruefully. “I-”

“Hold on, hold on,” Dave interrupted. “Did you guys see the group chat?”

Emily fumbled for her phone. “No, I didn’t, I...oh.”

“What’s wrong?” Hotch asked.

“Derek’s flight got canceled too,” James said. “He says it got delayed and he sat on the tarmac for three hours, but they pulled everybody off the plane. His mom’s already picked him up, so he’s fine.”

Emily glanced over at Spencer. He curled himself up smaller, his knees tucked up to his chest, chewing on his thumbnail. “But he’ll be here tomorrow?” he said. 

“Yeah, he’ll be here tomorrow,” Dave reassured him.

Spencer lifted his head. “Can we call Alex?” he asked quietly. 

“Yeah, of course,” Emily said, immediately pulling Alex’s contact info on the screen. “Here, kiddo. Just press-”

Lightning cracked, and with a sharp pop the common room went dark.

“Holy shit!” Emily shrieked, the phone falling from her hand.

“Did a fuse blow?” Dave said.

James got up and looked out the window. “Well, judging by the other buildings on campus...I think the power’s out everywhere,” he said.

“Well, fuck,” Hotch said.

Emily raised an eyebrow. “Watch your language!” she said in mock horror.

“Oh, shut up,” Hotch said good-naturedly. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait for the power to come back on. Spencer, do you want to go ahead and call Alex? She’ll probably be glad to miss the power outage.”

“I think the tower’s down too,” Spencer said in a small voice. “There’s no signal.” He held the phone back out to Emily. “Thanks anyway.”

She reached for the phone, and as the lock screen flickered she caught the faint mark of tears on his cheek. “Oh, no,” she said. “Oh, fuck. Spencer, don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying,” he said, but there was a distinct wobble in his voice.

“Spencer, it’s going to be okay,” Hotch said. “The power’s going to come back on, and everyone will be home soon.”

It was too dark to see, but she could hear Spencer sniffling in a valiant effort to keep form crying. “I know,” he said. “But I-”

Hotch picked Spencer up and placed him in Emily’s lap. “Stay here with Em for a second,” he said. “James, Dave, come with me.”

Spencer dropped his head against Emily’s collarbone as she wrapped her arms around him. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “It’s been a rough week, dude. You didn’t get to go home and see your family, and you miss everybody. And you’re worried because of the storms. It makes sense.” She kissed the top of his head. “And now we’ve got all this power outage shit. But it’ll be okay.”

Hotch dumped an armload of stuff onto the nearest armchair. “Thank goodness for Penelope’s illegal candle stash,” he said. 

Emily twined one of Spencer’s short curls around her finger. “What’s with all of the pillows and blankets?” she asked.

In the dim light she could see Hotch grin. “We’re going to make a blanket fort,” he said. “C’mere, Spencer, I could use your brain for this.”

Emily set Spencer on his feet as James and Dave brought in their collections of pillows and blankets. She busied herself lighting candles and placing them in safe places around the room as Spencer directed the older boys in their construction. He seemed to perk up a little bit with something to focus on, especially as they let him be in charge.

“Okay, I’ve made some blanket forts in my day, but this one is pretty cool,” James said. 

“That’s because Penelope has about eight million blankets and they’re all soft as baby puppies,” Emily said as she crawled into the fort. “I claim the blue pillow!”

All five of them fit comfortably inside, the interior lit with a string of battery operated fairy lights, also taken from Penelope’s room. Spencer nestled himself between Hotch and Emily. “Are we going to tell Penelope that we borrowed all of her stuff?” he asked. 

Hotch handed him his favorite blanket. “I think if we leave the fort up till she gets back, she won’t mind as long as she gets to hang out in here,” he said. 

“What should we do?” Dave asked. “Power’s still out, and there’s no wifi either.”

“Oh!” Emily said. “Okay, I’ve been trying to get you to listen to this album for weeks. Now is the perfect time! You’re a captive audience.”

They took turns passing each other’s phones back and forth, listening to different songs in the comfort of the handmade blanket fort, playfully arguing over each other’s tastes in music as the warm glow of the fairy lights cast soft shadows. Spencer seemed a little less tense now, snuggled safely between Hotch and Emily with his blanket hugged to his chest.

She hadn’t kept track of time, but it was at least two hours before the power switched back on, the overhead lights suddenly way too bright after the dimmness of the tent. “There we go,” Dave said, sitting up and checking his phone. “And we’ve got signal again!” He stretched his arm over James and Emily to hold out the phone to Spencer. “Here, passerotto, see if you can call Alex.”

He took it eagerly and tapped at the screen to bring up her info, but his excitement faded almost instantly. “It went right to voicemail,” he said. “Thanks anyway.”

James scrambled ungracefully to his feet. “Hey, since the power’s back, who wants to watch a movie?” he said. 

“Not a Star War, please,” Emily called. “I can’t tell any of them apart.”

Hotch propped himself up on his elbow. “Hey, Spence,” he said. “It’s okay. I’m sure Alex is fine.”

“Yeah,” Spencer said. He turned to Hotch, one corner of his mouth tugging up in a rueful little half smile. “I bet her flight got canceled too. It’s okay.”

James flipped the overhead lights off, leaving them back in the glow of the candles and the string lights, and crawled back into the fort with the remote in his hand. “All right, if anyone has objections, y’all can get up yourself and change it,” he said.

Emily settled back as the movie started. Spencer was quiet beside her, but after a while he rolled over onto his stomach, his forehead pressed against Hotch’s arm and his blanket tangled around his legs, and she smiled when she heard his first little snore.

“Hotchner,” she whispered. “This blanket fort idea was genius.”

Hotch grinned. “Sean made me make one for him while I was home,” he said. “I figured Spencer might like it too.” He paused. “Is he asleep?” Emily nodded. “Thank god.”

James sat up and pushed his hair out of his eyes. “Guys, I still haven’t heard from Alex,” he said. “It’s still going right to voicemail when I call her and she hasn’t answered any texts.”

“Maybe her signal’s out too,” Dave said. “Don’t worry about it. Alex can take care of herself.”

James pouted. “Yeah, but...I might be a little worried about her,” he said. “It’s not like her to not answer.”

“Awww, you miss your girlfriend,” Emily teased. 

“I do! I do miss her!” James said. 

“Guys, if any of you wake up Spencer, I will murder you,” Hotch hissed. 

“I’m sorry!” James whispered back. “I just- I think I need to be worried about Alex.”

Suddenly a familiar person knelt down and leaned into the tent. “You’re worried about me?” Alex said, her long red hair hanging loose around her shoulders. “That’s so sweet!”

James scrambled up, smacking Dave in the face in his haste. “Oh my god, I missed you!” he said. He tugged her closer, cupping her face in his hands, and kissed her deeply. “Oh my god. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she laughed, running her fingers through his hair. “My phone died and I didn’t pack any of my portable chargers in my carryon. Where’s everybody else?”

“Everybody’s flights are delayed,” Emily said. “Spencer’s been beside himself.”

“Oh, poor thing,” she said. “Is he sleeping? I don’t want to wake him up.”

“Yeah, he just dozed off,” Hotch said. “He’s going to be so relieved to see you.”

Emily scooted over to make room. “C’mere, the movie hasn’t been on for very long,” she said. 

“Hey!” James protested. “She’s my girlfriend, shouldn’t she be next to me?”

“Well, she’s my roommate, and I’ve had her for longer,” Emily said. Alex laughed as she settled between her and Spencer, busying herself with snuggling him against her side and tucking him in. Emily leaned over to whisper in James’s ear. “Besides, we all know you two are gonna go fool around the second you get a chance. You’ll get your quality time, don’t worry.”

Even in the dim light she could see him turn red. “What are you guys whispering about?” Alex asked. 

“Nothing!” James squeaked. Emily made a rude hand gesture and he smacked her arm. “Emily! Stop it!”

She snickered as she leaned her head against Alex’s shoulder. “How was your week being in charge?” Alex asked as she adjusted Spencer’s blanket around him.

“Could have been worse...could have been a lot better,” Emily said. “He was so sad. I’m not good with sad kids.”

“I’m sure you did great,” Alex reassured her.

The movie was almost over when Spencer began to shift and whimper in his sleep. “Is he okay?” Emily asked.

“He’s-” Hotch winced as Spencer kicked him in the shins. “Ow. Bad dream, I think.”

Alex sat up. “Okay, I’m going to wake him up,” she said. 

“Careful, he can be pretty feisty,” Hotch warned.

Alex stroked his hair back from his forehead as he tried to pull away from her. “Spencer, wake up,” she called gently, her hand resting on his chest. “Come on, darling.”

She kept coaxing him until his eyes finally opened. “What’s going on?” he mumbled.

“You had a bad dream,” she said. 

He blinked. “Alex?” he said sleepily. “Did your plane land safely?”

Hotch laughed. “Yeah, kiddo, her plane landed safely,” he said. “Get the sleep out of your eyes.”

Spencer rubbed his face and blinked again. “Alex!” he yelped, throwing himself into her arms. 

“Hi, baby,” she said. “Did you miss me?”

“A little bit,” he said, tilting his face so she could kiss his cheek. “Was your flight okay? Was there a lot of turbulence?”

“Everything was fine,” she reassured him as she cuddled him against her side. “Now, sh, I think Dave is getting invested in the movie.”

“No, I’m not,” he said absently.

“Yes, he is,” Emily teased.

Spencer settled down with his head on Alex’s knees; Hotch tugged his blanket around him. “Everybody else will be here tomorrow,” he said. “Penelope’s connecting flight got canceled, and Derek’s got canceled, and JJ’s parents rescheduled her.”

“That’s good,” she said, stroking her fingers through his hair. “Go back to sleep, darling. You look so tired. And everything’s going to be okay, nothing to worry about.”

The rain had settled back into a light tapping on the window; the thunder and lightning had long since stopped. Emily leaned back against her pillows, smiling in contented relief. Alex was right. Everything was going to be okay.

[a-reasonforthoughts]

My thoughts on the Rise of Skywalker, because quarantine forced me to finally watch it. !!!!Spoilers!!!!!

Growing up, Star Wars was my childhood. My sisters and I read all the books (including the comics) and we packed the Essential Guides with us everywhere. Because for our deep love of the Extended universe, when the last few movies came out we had... mixed emotions. I didn’t even see the last movie when it came out after hearing some less than stellar reviews. So here’s my review, or rather my reactions to the Rise of Skywalker. (Yes, I actually sat down with paper and pen and watched this movie.) Title craw: The DIABOLICAL First Order.

‘The Emperor has returned.’ Wow, the are expecting us to go along with a lot aren’t they.

Cool. Kylo wrecking everything.

Yay, a planet that isn’t snow, desert, or forest. Hold on tight kids, they’re throwing us right into this one. We’re already at Palpatine’s house.   Ew. Whats with the tank?

Whoa eyes! What’s up with his lips? Can someone bring this fossil a drink?

Imperial March playing while a Star Destroyer rises in the back ground. Is this Vader’s old ship? Rey is “Not who we thought she is.” Thought she was “Nothing”?

Ew, what is Klaud, and why is he here?

Who are all these people on the Falcon? “How do we thank you?” “Win the war.” aren’t you all on the same team? Why do you need to thank him? Cool, another planet thats not snow, desert, or a forest. Never mind.

Oh great, Rey’s here.  Looks like the Lightsaber is fixed.  I know the names of a bunch of these plants! When Luke was training with the ball thing (Training remote) he was just trying to deflect the shots. Rey’s trying to take down the whole forest. 

You sure you want to destroy that thing Rey? There can’t be to many of them laying around Who are all these people? Why’s the Falcon on FIRE?! Since when is “Light-speed skip” a thing? Seriously. Who are all these people? I thought after the last movie there was only like, 10 of them left. Hey! It’s Merry from Lord of the Rings!

What’s this old orange doing here?

“Sith Way-finder” Sigh. Are Poe and Rey a “thing”? Are Finn and Rey a “thing”? Why’s everyone here but R2? There he is. Why did they not bring him?!

Now I’m watching a Planet of the Apes crossover.

That guy who was on the same team is dead now. His blood is clear so the rating doesn't go up. Well, Hux is certainly different.

Someone must have taken his hair gel because his hair was never this poofy before.   Is this a Holi Festival, or Burning man.

Why are we learning the name of this random kid? Rey just walked away from her, what was that? Yay! The force link is still there!

Kylo is giving off stalker vibes. It’s nice to see him growing into his role of Supreme Leader. Looks like everyone hates him. Wait- Who is this guy?! Why are they following a stranger!

It’s LANDO Oh, so Rey know’s who Lando is, but thought Luke was a myth. Makes sense. Boom. First order is here.

Lando: “My flying days are over.” Why? “Give Leia my love.” Ew.  Wait, why is Lando out here? Did Luke just leave him? He said he came here with him. Has the emotional issues of being abandoned by Luke led him to never fly again? Is this a parallel story to Rey’s abandonment? What’s the motive here movie!  They made it even harder for these Storm Troopers to see out of those helmets.

3PO is getting a lot of lines. Rey *is distracted* Ship *Blows up*  Now they have sinking sand. WAS THAT ALMOST A CONFESSION?! This guy just says, “The Falcon is not responding.” when asked, and they’re like “Don’t be such a downer!” Oh yay, they survived.  Kay, we’re just brushing over Finn’s almost confession. I’m sure they’ll come back to that later. *Cough* Okay, that flashlight bit was funny. 

How do you know that’s the guy you’re looking for? That could be anybody’s skeleton! How’d they find a knife that neither Luke, or Lando (who might have been here for 20 years) could find!  Rey’s making friend’s with the basilisk.

She just transferred some of her life force to the snake! Why!? This old ship they found in the desert still works. “Chewie, tell Rey we got to go!” Why can’t you do it? You’re not doing anything. Axe. Here comes lover boy.  How to Breathe, the movie, by Rey.

Trailer shot.

Was he just gonna run her over?

Cool, she’s pulling the ship out of the sky. Uh oh, helmet’s off, there goes her focus.

Now they’re playing tug-a-war with the ship. It’s the light saber fight all over again.  Whoa!!! She juST LIGHTING’D THE SHIP! Kylo Looked freaked out for a second! She just told Finn she had a vision of her and Kylo together, and he looks like he’s gonna cry. 3PO tells them how horrible and dangerous it is to override a droid’s programming. “Let’s do that!” That droid looks like a yoga wheel and a hairdryer. 

Rey to the new droid: “Someone treated him badly. It’s alright, you’re with us now.” Yeah, just don’t watch what we’re about to do to this other droid.

Looks like we’re adding another girl to this love triangle (hexagon?) She’s not supposed to be a Mandalorian is she. (So help me-) I hate you and I’m going to turn you in *Hit’s her over the head and pulls out a lightsaber* Okay, lets go.

Why they so mad at Poe for being a smuggler?  Wow. They are forcing C-3PO to do this. Backup his memory to the hairdryer! It’s got to have a reason for being here! C-3PO “Oh! I just had an idea of something else we could try-” ZAP!  ...Was that supposed to be funny? These writers need to learn what humor is, and when to use it. Why are we focusing on Poe and his old girlfriend the Power Ranger? Wah! What’s up with 3PO’s eye’s? Is he a Sith droid now? Why does he have that function?!

Rey, you’re boyfriend’s here. They wiped 3PO’s memory and he doesn’t know who anyone is, but he’s still polite. Poe angrily points “That’s gonna be a problem!” Our heroes ladies and gentleman. I hope the First Order just blast them. That Admiral’s badge just let them in? Like no one reported that missing?? Wiped 3PO’s memory and they’re getting the dagger anyway. Worst rescue ever. 

Vaders Helmet has had a hard life. Rey has a vision in every scene she's in.

More ‘Rey’s family history’ with Kylo “Tell me where you are,” She’s in your room dude.

R.IP. Vader Helmet

That Stormtrooper behind Kylo must be so confused.  *Sees helmet, breaks link*  “She’s in my quarters!” Told you so. Why is Hux the spy? When did this happen? What does he think the outcome of this will be?

3PO just wandering the halls with a crossbow. 

“You are a Palpatine.” Wanna be a Solo? Is this like his fourth proposal? OooooOOOOooo, that was cool! Kylo standing in the blast of the Falcon’s engines was a moment we needed!

Yikes! They took out Hux fast! They didn’t want to question him or anything? No?

The Death Star was blasted to smithereens, why is it here? How is it here?

They made that dagger to line up with the wreckage? I’m pretty sure things that are constantly beat by the ocean will move or erode over time. Who even made that? What was the purpose?!

Yay, another scavenger  Who’s also a ex-Stormtrooper, because why not.

That’s a horse covered in a rug. Rey’s out trying to kill herself again.

“There’s another Skimmer!” Wonder who that is. He is literally following her to the ends of the galaxy. 

Wait- The throne rooms still in one piece?! The chair and everything?!!! Dark Rey- YIKES! TEETH

I thought he stopped the holocron with his foot, I was really surprised when fingers formed and he picked it up.

Kylo acting so cool as she’s trying to slash him to ribbons. I see Merry again! Wait- What’s Leia got to do? And why does Maz know? They’ve never explained what this strange orange is and what she can do.

Finn’s in deep- Wait how'd he get out here?????

Leia don’t distract your son while he’s fighting for his life!

SEE!!!!!!!

“I wanted to take your hand. Ben’s hand.” You think he’s going to leave you alone after that?

Why is Rey just a total mess in every movie.

Chewie mourning Leia is a good touch. It’s nice to see the reaction of someone who ACTUALLY knew her.  Whoa! They got Harrison Ford to come back! That must have taken a lot of bribery (or blackmail).

Has almost dying given Kylo/Ben the power to see non-Force user ghost, or is he just going nuts? So this is just a rehash of Han’s death scene. 

Aw, he called him Dad- Hey don’t throw that away, you need that!

He’s nuts. Those red helmets look stupid. Aaaaand it’s the Death Star again Merry in the background! Why’d they make Poe the General? Lando finally got off that planet 

“General.” “General.” She’s burning his ship. Good luck Kylo/Ben.

You know how hot that fire has got to be to burn metal “A Jedi weapon should be treated with more respect.” You brat.

Why did he have Leia’s lightsaber here? “...it would be picked up again, by someone who would finish her journey.” Oooookay, but why not just have her take Luke’s old Saber? It’s gotta be laying around here somewhere.

I know it’s symbolic and all that he’s raising the x-wing, but there’s no way that thing still works.

Alright, 3PO’s memories are back. Why’d we have to go through all that? I spy Merry again! How does Poe know all this stuff about Exogol? He’s just a fountain of information over here!

“Now we take the war to them!” That’s literally what you’ve done every movie ever No one is questioning how Lando got here. Isn’t this a secret base? *Dr. Evil voice* ONE MILLION STAR DESTROYERS 

Who even wrote this story line? Finn’s going with his gut and everyones just going along with it. Not like you could all die or anything. They brought the rug horses with them

How are they breathing in space!? Those red troopers still look stupid.

What’s this crowd chanting? Are they speaking Parseltoungue?  “I never wanted you dead.” That’s why I told Kylo Ren to kill you.

Hang on- his plan is ‘You be the empress, and I’ll just possess you. Grandaughter.’  EW. Why would she want that? How is that a tempting offer? Someone’s gone senile. Direct quote: “I got to go do something!” “I’m coming with you!” Why do these people get attached so quickly?! 

“Luke was saved by his father. The only family you have here is me.” Yeah, but I got a boyfriend who follows me everywhere!

Ben runs and jumps: “Ow.” We finally get to see the Knight’s of Ren in action! (Where have they been this whole time?) “Once you kill me I shall become apart of you!” So she could just, not kill him. Right? Oh yeah, here we go, now we got a showdown!

Well, that was anticlimactic 

WHAT IS HAPPENING Poe just realized he's the worst General ever.

YO. Don’t tell your troops there is no hope! What is wrong with you??? Why isn't Lando the General? He is a lot more qualified!!!

Wait a minute!! Where were all these people when LEIA ORGANA called for help????

Wedge Antilles!!!!!! So all the life force sucking was just so Palpatine could up grade his outfit? *Flings Ben into a pit* Palpatine is so done with the Skywalkers Hey, I know these voices!!!! Aaaaand now he wants to kill her. So whats our big moment? TWO lightsabers! 

Why did the make that the big epic moment? Why didn’t they have Ben run over and they do it together- It would have been perfect for his story arch! Rey: “And we” Together: “are all the Jedi!” Now she's dying. Why? Not even the writers know So Finn’s Force sensitive. Cool I guess? This is a really touching moment for them, even more so if they did anything other than fight this entire movie!

This kinda feels out of nowhere

I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW

NOW SHE’S SMILING AND FINE. HE JUST DIED Merry’s here again and I can’t even be happy about it Now Finn has to chose between Rose and the new girl  Poe’s trying to start something with his Power Ranger old flame, and she's like “Not a chance.” Now everything’s all happy like BEN DIDN’T JUST DIE. ARE WE NOT GOING TO ADDRESS THIS?????????? Oh hey, it’s the Lars farm. Nobody else moved in after all these years? Now she's burying the Skywalker lightsabers in the place they all hated.

WHY IS BEN NOT HERE!!!!!!! HE WAS A MAIN CHARACTER FOR THESE MOVIES AND THEY DID HIM DIRTY!!!!!!

Well I guess they had to wrap this mess up somehow

[lambvein]

Cheerful Host-part 9 (Reupload)

The past months have been hell on earth. A nightmare come true. These dumb fucking bimbos have been training me to reply to their every command whether it be to finger my pussy or fondle my nipples or bounce up and down to make my massive knockers bounce in public…but I wont give in to their orders!…unfortunately I have a bad feeling my decision to disobey will prove fruitless and harmful to me and my assets.

“Where are you taking me? Why are we going back to the mall, havent you embaressed me enough in that victoria’s secret earlier? What else could you sluts possibly want?” I spoke to the hive of bimbos in an annoyed tone.

Juggs responded “well a perfect bimbo needs a perfect makeover isnt that right ladies? And what better place to start than getting those already fat lips pumped up even more hehe!”.

“What?!?! No, please I already have ridiculously fake, plastic jugs and booty please I cant handle any more implants!” I begged the bimbos.

“Thats exactly the point silly billy! We, like already pumped up your tits and ass so now we need to top off this bimbo cake with some big, fat, fake dick sucking lips!” ariana spoke in a mocking voice.

I began to tear up at the thought of how goofy I would look with massive fake lips and how hard it would be to speak or communicate

“Please ladies, dont do this to me I will do anything…anything at all!”.

“Awe mega mountains thats cute, if we want something from you we will make you do it…speaking of which…play with us right now! Hands on your tits and pussy, girl!” Juggs demanded.

“WHAT!?!? Were in the middle of a fucking mall are you crazy?!?!” I whispered into my cleavage as to not seem crazy infront of the crowd of mall-goers bustling the crowded building.

“EXACTLY!” The bimbos all shouted at once.

I then began to feel the all too familiar feeling of my pussy and nipples swelling up…it felt…AMAZING.

“wont you play with us now, mountains…come on you know you want too” nicki spoke in a seducing, childish tone.

“Hurry up bitch, were not letting you go anywhere until you obey us!” Jugs shouted in the back of my mind.

I gave in to the feelings and dove my hands into my tight top and shorts and began to play with myself. My attempts to stifle my moans proved to be no help as every passing pedestrian either looked at me disgusted, whistled at me or copped a feel themselves.

“Hmmmm these horny guys grabbing a feel gives me an idea, mountains present your huge jugs to the next chick that walks by and beg her to feel you up hahahaha!” Juggs suggested, the other 59 bimbos controlling me all laughed at my situation and decided to pump up the sensitivity in my delicate areas.

The slightest brush from my tight clothes was enough to bring up an accidental squeal in ecstasy. Without hesitation I hefted my titties up to an approaching goth high schooler who had just exited the mall’s hot topic.

“Please, please play with my tits! I need release so bad!” I shouted at the young lady as my knees were shaking and my arms were swiftly giving out from attempting to carry my enormous knockers.

“What the fuck!?!? No way you dumb bimbo!” The goth hissed at me before storming off, dissapearing into the dense crowd of shoppers.

“Girls, please make this end. My shorts are soaking wet and im so tired from hefting my boobs around in everyones faces amd playing with myself for the past hour” I begged the bimbos.

Juggs replied “Okay fine mountains…we will save this for later when your makeover is done!”.

The bimbos all squealed at my suffering as they swiftly brought me back to my feet out of my puddle of pleasure and strutted me over to the mall’s lip injection clinic. The sluts strapped me down to a leather chair in the back of the store as a curvy nurse holding several needles appeared.

“Oh my god can we please talk abou…” my speech was cut off by the nurse pumping the needles into my face all at once.

The sensation of my lips filling to the brim with silicone felt terrible. It took several minutes to finish her injections and by the time she finished half of my view was obstructed by my now cartoonishly large top lip.

“Mmpppff mmppff mmpppfff!” I lost the ability to open my mouth enough to create words.

My lips have become too fat and heavy to be able to open my mouth. “Perfect! I have never done silicone injections that large before but I made a special case for you so you better enjoy it!” The nurse said to me in a cheerul tone as she grabbed a handful of my bottom lip to test its thickness.

“This is perfect! No more backtalk from miss mega mountains!” Nicki interjected.

The sluts all cackled at my inability to speak as I was lifted up off the leather seat and out of the nurse’s office.

“Next stop, a new wardrobe!” Jugs announced.

“Mmmmmppppfff!” I attempted to plead to the sluts.

“Silly mountains theres no point in rebelling. We just took away your one way of communicating with the outside world. You are all ours now” juggs said with a triumphant jiggle of my colossal titties.

“Now play with us…or else…” Nicki demanded.

I didnt hesitate and quickly stuffed my hands down my bra and worked my nipples as best as I could to satisfy the bimbos. Several people passing by either gave me a dirty look, blushed, looked away or hollered at me like some kind of dog. After several minutes and many awkward interactions we approached a lingerie shop I had never noticed in the mall before.

“Alright ladies GO WILD!” Juggs announced to her hive of sluts as I was forced to sprint into the sex shop as my big boobs hit me in the face several times.

The sluts selected several outfits: a christmas themed bikini, a sexy nun costume, a leopard print bodysuit, an obviously too small tracksuit, a latex devil outfit and a tiny pair of panties with an equally miniature bra to go with it. I was practically pushed into the change rooms by my swarm of sluts to the confusion of the clerk at the store and got a look in the mirror at my current situation. I felt like breaking down crying.

I looked like a cartoon character, I barely fit in the change room with my enormous caboose and fat melons attached to me and to top it off I now sported the biggest pair of fake lips I have ever seen, they reached past my chin and rested just below my eyes “MMMMMPPPPFFF!”.

“Like what you see, mega mountains?” Juggs taunted.

“MMMMMMPPPPPFFF!”.

“Yeah, we are all pretty sexy together arent we, I suppose you should be thanking us that there is no reverse spell to separate us…yeah…were one big bimbo together forever.” Juggs mocked as I stared in utter shock at what I had become.

“Ummm excuse me if you are done, like, pouting we have some outifts to try on” kim said in a spiteful tone.

The girls then reached for their first outfit…the santa bikini. All the outfit consisted of was a red mini bikini with a santa hat. The bimbos finished dressing me up and proceeded to put me in as many lusty poses as they could think of, it was so degrating watching my now ruined body being paraded around like this. Every single one of my private bits were on full display…my large and in charge nipples are easily distinguished from the tiny fabric of the bikini top, the bottom of the bikini served as nothing other than a string of cloth rammed up my ass and served no other use other than to split my fat pussy lips. After several minutes the bimbos decided to move on to my next outfit…a sexy nun outfit…compared to my last get up this outfit was actually quite conservative. The costume consisted of a regular nun’s cap and robe with the main draw being the large frame in which the purpose is to display as much cleavage as humanly possible and of course the sluts spared no time as they adjusted my boobs until as much titflesh was spilling out as possible. They became bored of the maid outfit rather quickly probably due to how much skin it covered. The next suit the bimbos decided to stuff me into was a leopard print bodysuit, after zipping up the suit my breath was sucked away as the suit hugged and pushed up all of my curves.

“MMMMPPPPFPFF!” I tried as best as I could to communicate to the bimbos that I couldnt breathe under all my titflesh but my begs were of to no avail as the sluts continued to pose me in any way they pleased without a hitch.

“Damn girls look at our tits! This cleavage goes on forever and ever!” Ariana spoke in a lustful tone to her fellow sluts.

My next outfit was an extremely tight tracksuit. My enormous junk in the trunk was tucked into the extra small tights resulting in a brought up squeal from the cameltoe being firmly set in whilst the tights run deeply into my own ass crack, next the track jacket was zipped all the way up resulting in my titties looking like beanbag chairs stuck in a suit.

“Ooooohh I like this outfit! And it seems like mountains is enjoying it as well. Look how much shes blushing!” Kim pointed out.

“I know what will really get mountains going” juggs said as she took over my whole body.

I felt my lips open as I was forced to speak into the mirror…wait how was she making me talk with my fat, fake lips?!?!

“Hey samantha…enjoying the ride? I sure hope you are because its going to get so much sweeter…we will never stop recruiting sluts to join our hive and you will never escape being the host of our hive. You will never be rid of your massive knockers, your big fat booty or us…so get used to it bitch because you are under new management. The bimbos management” Juggs finished her speech and returned to her respective consiousness in my jugs.

I felt like crying but my big fake lips only allowed me to hold a ridiculous duck face as I stared full view at my figure. Whilst I was distracted the sluts undressed me from the tracksuit and quickly suited me up into a hot red latex bodysuit and attachable devil horns. The slut squad stuffed my extreme assets into the bodysuit to the point of deriving severe discomfort from within the suit. “Perfect!” Jugs announced as she assessed the fruits of her labour by fondling my tight implants and injections.

“Yes, a million times yes! Lets roll girls!” Juggs announced to her fellow bimbos as I strutted out of the sex shop.

“Mmmmppppfff mmmpppff!” I tried conveying to the sluts my terrible discomfort due to the constraints of the bodysuit but my begs and moans fell on deaf ears as they kept bouncing me along like some kind of pornstar preparing for a shoot.

I looked absolutely ridiculous, I looked like jessica rabbit going to a bdsm convention.

“*ahem* we need some attention down here mountains, come on dont you know how to be a good guest?” Jugs spoke in a sharp, snarky tone.

I stuffed my hands down the front of my suit which only made my discomfort more extreme and began working my nipples to please the bimbo hive.

“Now don't you dare take your hands off your tits until we say so or you will feel the wrath of the bimbos” juggs hissed.

I continued playing with my mountains as I was forced to walk through the entire mall as if to display to everyone what I had become, this is so fucking humiliating. My face was burning red by this point which only further put my heavy makeup job front and centre. It took several minutes to exit the mall and by the time we had my pussy was ready to burst but the sluts refused to supply me release. With my new outfit pushing up my knockers and booty combined with my new fat lips I now felt even more embarressed to be seen in public. The people only see me as a bimbo now and now with my massive lips I cant even talk back…I am now a passenger to my own body at the horny hands of 60 bimbos, sluts, whores and strippers….wait why are we going back to the strip club!?!?!…

[bloggingwithmattporter]

My Relationship and How It Ended

All through our lives, we wonder who our partner will be and how will we find them? Going out with friends, talking online for a while or just simply a bump into each other. At the age of 20, I was amazed at the thought of how i'd meet someone I could be myself around. Myself having an incredibly outgoing bubbly personality, I always knew that I could be seen by many people, but never knew that I would find someone who I'd consider to be perfect for me. For years I've been independant and achieved things by myself with no partner by my side, I didn't want anyone nor was I looking for someone. But yet, I always thought to myself "I wonder if my future girlfriend would be proud of me", which actually makes you realise you're more lonely than you thought, but hey, that's okay because you know one day you will find her.

Everything changed for me one night, a few weeks after I started a new job. I decided to go out one night, which i remember fondly enough that I would've rather stay in and watch some films, but decided it would be a great time to celebrate the job I acquired. When you were like me and decided to drink yourself silly every single week, you had to find reasons to go out. Little did I know, going out that night would change my life in millions of great ways, which is now terrifying to think about.

 After a fair few drinks, I decided to go out into another area of the club to share my loud obnoxious personality around. The moment I walked down there, was like a movie. I saw a girl, even in my intoxicated state, I could tell she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever laid my eyes upon. I instantly came up with a goal to make her laugh. It takes a lot to make me nervous, it was trait that I never had. I went up to her and at that exact same time, she walked up to me and introduced herself. You know how I said it was like a movie? I said that because when I looked into her eyes, everything around me froze, I was just standing there. After what felt like thirty minutes, I introduced myself then we sat down and had a drink. I wouldn't be able to tell you the exact conversations that we had, but I can tell you I interrupted her to inform her that I needed to do a pee followed by what I thought to be an FBI cross Ninja jump over the table, but according to her that was never the case... I still stick with what I thought it felt still to this day. When I returned we had another drink and spoke some more and introduced us to each others friends. One of my friends, Jordan, looked at me when I introduced her and smiled at me, for some strange reason, he knew I was interested, suppose I've never really introduced a girl to my friends before. As this night drew to a close, I lost her and eventually stormed out of the club because I had enough. Little did I know, she was asking about me when I left. I got home, surprisingly, and fell asleep.

I woke up to a message from her asking me out on a date. I immediately felt emasculated, but that was okay. Obviously I said yes. We went to a Shannon Noll concert, it was a perfect time spent together and the happiest i've been in a very long time. I still remember how it felt to feel true happiness after such a long time of being alone.  

As messages upon messages went by between each other, it was suddenly a week or two later. We had organised for me to stay over her place, have a couple of drinks and listen to some old school music, the best kind. As she's on the floor choosing the songs to put on and I am sitting on her bed, that strange feeling erupted in me again, true happiness. I didn't know at the time, but she was radiating something I haven't felt before, whether it was her great music choice or just being around her. As the night progressed, next thing we know we were in bed together 'cuddling'. We were talking about something that made me laugh, which at the end I did something I couldn't take back. I laughed and then said I love you, which i quickly recovered by saying "lol jokes, you wish". Yes, I actually said that and it turned out more funny than what we were previously discussing. This became a running joke for years to come. I remember laying there thinking "Why did I say that", I was confused about how it happened because it just completely slipped out, I didn't mean to say it but knew I felt it. This was when I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. In the end, it was a perfect night spent by someone whom I believed I loved very quickly. I had never felt this way about another person before. 

A week at work progressed and we decided to stay over again, same music, but this time we felt closer than ever. It was an amazing feeling for me and I was honestly just falling harder and harder for her. I knew the next time I saw her, I wanted to do something special, so I surprised her with a little getaway to a nice resort at the Sunshine Coast. When we got there, we checked in and went across the street to Woolworths to stock up on food and the dinner I was going to cook for her, Beef Strogonoff. When we returned, we got the keys and went to our apartment to find out that there was in fact, no kitchen. So it turned out to be a KFC night. This was when I knew she was the one for me, as we finished eating, i decided to rip the KFC bags and dress her up.. it was incredibly hilarious at the time and damn she could pull the look off. We got into bed and watched Eurovision trying to understand the words they were singing, it was great and it was definitely a great weekend. Once again, the kitchen became a running joke too, I could never escape it. After this weekend away, we sat down and decided it would be best if I moved in with her, as I’m always there anyways. So a month after dating, we were living together and I’ve never felt so much happiness, everything was perfect and working out for me.

Months and months went on, we sat there laughing about the possible arguments we would have because we have never argued before. I knew for a fact that I was so in love with this woman that I never wanted to lose her. We were perfect for a very long time. I’d get lost in her eyes every time she would laugh, or how her eyes opened wide when she was explaining a story or a topic she was passionate about. She has the most incredible smile with a beautiful laugh.. which includes her little snorting she does when the laughing can’t stop.

Every morning I would wake up, give her a kiss on the forehead and say good morning. Every night, I’d give her 10 kisses on the forehead, we both made sure to count as it all became a ritual. There were so many memories, inside jokes and little rituals we had that we got so used to that it all became normal. I was still in love with this woman at the age of 23.

Suddenly, cracks started to appear because of my inability to talk. I know, how does someone not know how to talk? That was and still is the hardest thing for me. I am so used to not sharing my feelings about negative things and instead keep it bottled up inside, its a very unhealthy thing to do and still to this day I'm slowly learning.

We were having many fights, breaking up but working our way back to each other every single time. We knew we wanted to be together and we were too stubborn to admit it at times, we were an incredibly competitive couple. Ask her about the monopoly game, she'll tell you she won..... thats because she did but I can assure you we never played monopoly again. I cannot elaborate on the amount of fights and quick break ups we had, we had a severe rough patch. But everything was perfect and I was still the happiest guy in the world.

The last time we broke up was around May 2018, the month we got together in 2016. This was a tough break up but we got back together a week later. I know, people may think how is this healthy, but when you're in love with someone, you'd do anything to make sure it works. Everything was perfect for many many many months. We discussed getting our very own place and we started to buy furniture each paycheck so we would be able to move into a house that wasn’t partly furnished, having kids (even agreed on some names to respect my mother which meant a lot to me) and more importantly, the engagement I was going to do at the start of the year.

I started an incredibly bad addiction to video gaming every day for hours on end, instead of the usual couple of hours a week. I became lazy and didn't appreciate what I had right next to me the entire time. Nearly 3 years we spent together, you would think that I would be more attentive. I just forgot about every thing in my life and was just committed to video games like the person I was long before I met her. I stopped wanting to have sex and I stopped wanting to go out on weekends with her. This all hit home and completely shattered me after she told me she was getting male attention elsewhere. I stormed out with all my stuff and didn't look back once.

A week has gone by and I just sit here in silence every single day. I've eaten half a sausage roll that made me vomit, a few chicken balls and a handful of chips, against my will. During my silence, I realise how much I have changed. I have gone from the alcoholic version of myself to a guy who found out he was ready to settle down, the mature Matt I thought I wouldn't find until I was very much older. I'm not going to lie, this last paragraph is hard to type because I just fall back into the ifs and buts. I know for a fact, all I had to do was to get off that Xbox and give her attention, clean the room when she asked, give her the intimacy that we both required but I slacked out on and most of all, show her the amount of appreciation I have for her since we got together. I feel as though I never want to show another woman intimacy or become close again, unless it’s with her. The constant knot in my stomach won’t dissapear. The world knows just how much I do love her and all my good friends know how much I appreciate and love her, it just turns out I forgot to reassure the most important person to me.

I realise that I don't blame her for any of this because I guess it is all my fault. Every girl in a long lasting relationship needs to know that feeling that their partner does in fact care about them. I just guess for me, it is too late for that. I would do anything to go back to the life we had with me bringing an insane amount of changes that would make any girl feel like the luckiest woman in the world. Not only did I lose my girlfriend, I lost my best friend and the only person that knew exactly who I was and who I am still to this day. She knows more about me than anyone else on this planet and i'm not afraid to admit that. She was my definition of a soul mate. I've never felt more comfortable and open with someone in my life and I highly doubt I'm going to find that feeling with anyone else for a very long time and even then, the chances are slim. All our inside jokes and memories haunt me every single day because they were the happiest times of my life. Every song that comes on the radio, its hard to listen to. All the songs on my phone, I can't listen to because each one takes me back to a time with her. It's hard to watch Netflix alone because I watched basically everything with her many times over. It's hard to get up in the morning and go to work, because every morning I would drive there knowing how close our future home was and how ready I was to propose to her, she was the reason why I got the new job a few weeks ago. The memories are suddenly everywhere and every day you're just caught up in constant nostalgia. The pain doesn’t disappear.

If I could go back in time and change everything, I would in a heartbeat. If she messaged me and told me she wants me back, I'd be there in a heartbeat too. With Christmas and New Years coming up, this is going to be a hard problem for me to recover from for the rest of the year. We had so many plans, I had many plans she didn't even know about. Nearly 3 years down the drain because I was too stupid to show her the amount of love and appreciation I have for her.. it truly fucking hurts. Being so ready to settle down, just for it all to come up above your feet isn't the best feeling.

The hardest part about break ups, is trying to forget about the imagined future you two had planned together. Our future looked so perfect. Going from being so happy, to suddenly depression hitting you straight on the head. The emptiness and loneliness is something I haven't felt in my life and I wouldn't wish it upon my worse enemy.

I don't expect many people to read this, but if you do, thank you for letting me vent and taking it on board. If you're in a relationship, please, tell your partner you love them and that you appreciate them, that's all it takes. Listen to them, talk to them and be there for them through everything life throws their way. Don't get caught up in technology or social media, they can easily become the source of break ups in this generation, which fucking sucks. Put your phone down and just show your partner that you love them. Never would I have thought I’d lose the one piece of me that meant more than anything else on this planet.

Most importantly, to her. If you're reading this, please know that I love and I miss you more than words can explain. I'm sorry that I didn't show you just how much you meant to me and just assumed you knew. You were, and still are, my world. The things we have done together are things I'll forever cherish and miss. You were my soulmate and I wish I could just show you all the changes I'd make to prove just how happy we can be. I would do anything to have you laying in my arms again and hearing you laugh. You are the only person in this world that I need and I’m honestly shattered to know I wasn’t that person for you. My friends keep telling me to move on.. why would I want to, and how could I move on when I know I’ve already met my soul mate? I’ll forever miss and love you.

I honestly thought typing this would make me feel better, even in the slightest amount, but in the end I guess it just made things worse for me. The hardest part for me was leaving someone who I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. I don't know where I would be or the type of person I would be if she didn't enter my life. She brought out the best version of me that was possible.

 If you're going through a rough time, talk to a friend or family member. Please know, it's not embarrassing to seek professional help.

[gcdlyfury]

La Roche was a small man, unassuming and rather plain looking despite his name and its meaning. There was nothing rock like about that man but it was his name none the less. Perhaps that was what made him an effective spy master here in the french court and why when he stepped into a room quietly filled with opulent and lavish surroundings few if any paid attention to him. When he spoke though in a thick french accent the voice was not mousey or projecting meekness. It was a voice that commanded respect even here. Gesturing to the seat before him he motions for your character to sit as he begins his line of questioning. Even if well acquainted to members of his own court he asks the same. Whether you take the seat is your choice but the unassuming La Roche begins to ask questions and scribble down the answers not once looking up from their notations..

Ilaria had sat quietly as she adorned herself in traditional mourning attire. Black looked rather wonderful on her, a stark contrast against her fair complex and soft red hair. she had a slightly damp tissue within her hand, as she took in a deep breath. she knew exactly how to behave, so she remained quiet until spoken to. despite his rather unimpressive appearance, she knew never to question such a sight. after all, she knew all to well how the plain can get away with so much. 

"You have been summoned here this day at the behest of the French court for an interview and we appreciate your cooperation at this time. Can you please state for official records your name, age and court position?"

“Ilaria De Luca, Handmaiden to the Orsini Family. I’m currently twenty three years old.” Only direct answers, thats all she could afford. to be unassuming, unbiased. At least, for now. She sniffled slightly out of habit, as she had forced herself to cry a storm before being summoned. the effects of her tears and ‘sadness’ still evident, which is exactly what she wanted. 

"Prior to the debacle of the dance floor where had you been?"

“I had to be sure to have the rooms of the family I serve in order. ensuring all baths were prepared for them. They had gotten so done up for the festivities, I knew if I wasn’t prepared for them to wind down for the end of the night, I would feel awful.” She remarked. 

"Had you noticed anything during that ordeal that seemed personally amiss to you other than the obvious?"

Ilaria took a moment as she recalled that night, amidst all the panic and choas and the injured when she went to join her brother and her dear Giulie. She took a deep breath before answering, her voice slightly shaky as she began to appear emotional. “Only that my King wasn’t there.” She said quietly, looking down at her tissue as her fingers tried to find the driest part of it. 

"Where were you when the body of the Italian king was discovered and where there witnesses to where you were at the time?"

Ilaria’s lips trembled when she heard the word ‘body’. She couldn’t help the shaky breath she took as she tried to blink away the tears forming. “I should have gone to find him, sir. Instead, i had been tending those wounded on the dance floor as the family I served were taken away to clean up. In specific had that prince fall on my feet so I felt bad and tended to the blood I saw.” She remarked, her teeth slightly gritted. She was upset. It was a mixture of regret and anger. “God, I should have made sure the King wasn’t alone. i can’t believe his guards had no idea what was happening.” She retorted. 

"Who or what do you personally suspect could have contributed to the unfortunate demise of the Italian king?" 

Ilaria looked up from her tissue. The fact that she was upset already didn’t help that fact that she felt almost disgusted by his remark. “Quite frankly, I believe we should have started with his guards. How dare they leave him alone?” She began, though the logic was somewhat sound. “Second, the fact that they allowed the King to go into the maze so late is tres bizarre, no?” She asked, with the little bit of french she knew. “I just-” She paused, and looking at the man. He seemed so uninterested, and she decided to drop all the complaints she had within her. “I believe it was definitely something planned out, and Im afraid I can’t even trust my own fellow ladies and sir that are staffed. we love our King, but these foreign lands have made some people radical.” She expressed, her voice getting quieter. “this person must have been powerful, I couldn’t imagine anyone else who is able to blind us so.” she remarked. 

"How did you personally feel about Italy's position in the last five years to six years?" 

“I truly believed we were doing so well. Even with the plague, we had been thriving under it all. I joined right before the plague hit and I could only tell how well we are treated, how endeared the family is by us. I never went one day where I resented them” the lies falling from her lips seemed far too natural. “Im only afraid of what will happen to the family. The Orsini’s can be hard to understand but they are wonderful people. The functioned so well together, as if their world wasn’t so chaotic. I admire them for it. I just hope they dont break with this loss.” She stated, a couple of tears forming and her using her tissue to wipe them away.

"What reasons would you have to harm the king, if any?"

Ilaria looked at the sir, as her eyes held the utmost disgust for the man. yet, the sweetness in her voice almost made one forget what her eyes pierced within a man’s body. “i dont have any reason to harm my King, sir. the only thing I would supposed that made me upset was how little he took care of himself. you know, mentally. however, that isn’t enough to kill a man over.” She remarked, looking back at the man’s notebooks and sighing for a second. “that man has been sweet to me when I didn’t deserve it, i can only hope he has the most blessed afterlife.”

[cryinggameff]

Sixty Three

Cayden

I was in Jamaica working on a deal with some guys Sean had connected us with a while back. We had been doing small business with their niggas out in texas and we hadn’t had any real problems, other than the small feds issue but that was on our end, and it had been dealt with. My sources let me know people had stopped talking and the investigation was dropped. Randi was on on my ass to fix that one real quick, but i understood why.

Jamaica was beautiful though, i wished i was here to just chill, with my girl, not working. We’d spend the day on the beach, or in this big ass hotel room…fucking and everywhere. Most likely the second one. I promised myself to bring her some time.

Sean and Pat were both with me, and we were going to some meeting with the dude who was gonna supply shit. We were in our car on the way there.

“Like i told you, dude kinda crazy, so lets try and avoid any beef. I heard he be keeping niggas balls as torphies and shit,” Sean said, looking over from the drivers seat.

“I can respect that,” i chuckled. “Maybe imma start doing that, make yall niggas really fear me.”

“Thats some batty man shit,” Pat mumbled.

We pulled up to the building, which was some food place.

“They doing drug deals out of a restaurant?” I looked at Sean.

“Thats how it be here,” he shrugged. We walked in past the store front and inside there were lots of tables and plastic chairs. A group of people were gathered at the back near the register, two guys stood on either side of the table, body guards. They stepped up when we approached and my instinct was to be pissed off because the nigga knew i was coming but yet he had security in my face.

“He knows who i am,” i said simply. They looked back at their boss and then let us through. We sat down on the opposite side of the table.

“Sean, wa gwan my brotha?”

“Im chillin. Omarion, this my nigga Cayden. Cayden this the crazy dude Omarion,” Sean said. Omarion looked me over and i did the same.

“Texas right?” he said. I nodded. “You know i done business with yall in the past actually.”

“Word? When?” I asked. He leaned in, putting his hands on the table. He smirked in a way that really made me think he was crazy.

“Way back when, Red was running shit back then,” he said, tilting his head.

“That must have been a long time ago then,” i said nonchalantly.

“Shame what happened to him isn’t it?”

“Tragic,” i said. He burst into full blown laughter. I guess people really knew what had gone down. I smirked.

“I like your style Cayden,” he said. “This should be a good partnership. Lets get to the business then.”

“We got everything ready on our end. Just gotta see what we buying before we hand the money over.”

“Everything irie my brother, dont worry,  we got the best quality product. I got some coke and the weed for you to try, the rest will be here tomorrow when we do the drop,” he said, turning and nodding to one of his guys. The guy got up and went back to the kitchen then came back with a brick of coke and a bag of some rolled up blunts. He put them on the table. I opened the plastic wrapping and looked over the coke before passing it to Pat. I wasn’t about to try it because i knew i had a problem with the shit and Randi had threatened to leave me over it when we first got together. Doesn’t mean i wasn’t tempted though. Pat took a sniff while i lit the blunt. I knew the weed was gon be lit because everyone knew this was the place for the shit. I took a long pull.

“Damn,” i said, blowing out smoke. The guys chuckled and i took another drag.

“I told you my brother. So we good for tomorrow?” Omarion put his hand out. I nodded and shook his hand.

“We’ll see yall tomorrow,” i said, standing up. Pat and Sean stood up too.

When we got back to the hotel the first thing i did was face time Randi. It has only been 3 days but i missed her and i knew she was probably freaking out by now. She was clingy for a nigga. Her phone rang for a real long time before she finally picked up.

“Why the fuck it take you so long to pick up?” i asked, immediately wondering what she was doing. She moved the phone so i could see her face.

“Well i was sleeping,” she said, voice low. I could tell she had just woken up from her hair and her voice.

“You at the girls’ place?” I asked, not liking the idea of her being alone.

“No, they’re here, at the house, they watching a movie i think,” she said, brushing hair out of her face.

“You love watching movies, why you sleeping?” my brows came together.

“I was tired. Where are you?” She asked.

“My hotel room. Its real nice, youd love it here babe. Imma bring you one day.” She smiled.

“Okay,” she said, excited now.

“You look pretty,” i told her, looking at her messy hair and makeup around her eyes, i liked it.

“I literally just woke up, im pretty sure theres drool on my face,” she wiped her cheek.

“Nah. You look perfect.”

“I miss you,” she frowned.

“I know,” i said simply. She knew i was missing her the same if not more.

“Come home quickly, i need you…”

“Whats wrong?” I asked immediately. I already knew something must be up.

“Nothings wrong. I just love you and i wanna see you,” she said in a not so convincing voice but i let it go.

“I love you too. You gon be aight. Just a few more days. But you need to get out of bed and get outside. You even leave the house today?”

“Not really.”

“Get off your butt or im gonna send someone over there. Im gonna send Ty actually. He needs the key to my office anyway. You know where it is?”

“yeah i know,” she said. “Ill give it to him.”

There was banging on my door then and i lookd over. Sean and Pat stormed in and were making all kinds of noise.

“Nigga we going out,” Sean said. Pat grabbed my phone from my hand.

“Hey Randi. Cayden has to go now,” he said.

“Okay. Bring him back in one piece please,” she said.

“I promise,” he said.

“Okay, go play with you friends. I’ll talk to you later,” she said to me.

“Bye baby,” i yelled. Pat hung up and i sent him a mug.

“Dawg you not staying in this room. Grab yo shit we going,” he said. I groaned but got up. It would be a shame to leave jamaica without partying.

Randi

The last few days were very strange for me. I would go to sleep and when i first woke up id forget about the whole being pregnant thing, then after a few minutes as i really woke up and started my day id remember and be momentarily terrified. I mean i was terrified the rest of the day too because i still had no idea how i felt other than scared and i couldn’t even share it with anybody because Cay didnt know and wasn’t here. China and Jada were staying here right now and, though Jada sort of knew, i hadnt confirmed anything after the positive test, i couldn’t talk to them about it.  The crazy thing is that i was actually scared to the core to tell him. I couldn’t rationalize why on earth id be scared. That morning when i woke up i decided to call Dr. Williams office to see if she had an opening, and she did. So instead of going to the salon first thing like i usually did, i went there.  

She looked like she was ready to pop. Seeing her so sure and confident in her pregnancy and clearly over joyed about the prospect of having a child, i couldn’t control myself, i spilled the news because i had to talk to someone.

“Thats definitely some news,” she said, giving me a soft smile.

“It feels weird saying it out loud,” i said, running my hand up and down my thighs.

“This is the first time you’ve told anybody?” She asked, surprised. I nodded. “So Cayden doesn’t know then.”

“No,” i said in a guilty tone. “I found out at a bad time, he was leaving for work and i didn’t wanna make him worry or feel like he had to stay, so i kept it to myself,” i said.

“That sounds pretty stressful on you, dealing with it all on your own,” she said sympathetically. I nodded, biting my lip. “How are you feeling about it, whats been going through your head?”

“I dont think im feeling the things im supposed to be feeling,” i explained.

“You dont have to feel a specific way, you’re allowed to feel your own emotions. You can always say the truth here,” she tilted her head to the side.

“But i don’t want something to be wrong with me,” i said.

“Why would something be wrong with you?” she wrote on her notepad.

“Because im not all excited and happy, im just terrified. I’m even scared to tell Cayden,” i sighed.

“Being scared is normal. This is a big change,” she pointed out. “Do you fear how Cayden will react?”  

“No,” i shook my head, “its not that. Im not sure what it is,” i played with my hair.

“Whats the worst thing you immagine happening,” she tried instead. I paused for a while, picturing me telling him.

“I think its more to do with me. I dont want him to see my fear and be upset by my reaction,” i scratched my arms. She nodded.

“You think Cayden won’t be understanding of your fears and concerns?”

“I dont know,” i shrugged.

“You’ve been together for how long now, has he given you reason to think he wouldn’t be understanding of your story and how things may feel a bit intense for you?” I shook my head.

“Then maybe you should give him a bit more credit and trust that you can confide in him,” she put a hand on my knee. I nodded. I knew she was right. The fears were all because i was in my own head too much. I knew i was also generally high strung when Cayden was far away from me.

“You’re right,” i said, dabbing at a single tear that had escaped. Why did she always have me crying in her office?

“You’re very brave, dont forget that. Give yourself a break. You are a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman…and you will make a terrific mother.”

When she said the last part i really lost it, i don’t know why. I took the tissues she offered me and we just sat in silence for a little while, since my hour was almost up anyway. Once the session was done she gave me a long hug and told me to come in any time. I thanked her and then left the office.

When i got back home i was emotionally drained and just tired all together. Jada invited me to watch a Romcom which was my favourite, but i needed to lay down so i flaked and went upstairs to sleep instead and Cayden ended up calling me an hour into my nap and we had a short but nice conversation. Hearing his voice and seeing his face lifted my spirits and also made my stomach flutter in a new strange way. I couldn’t believe i was one of those girls who couldn’t go a few days without seeing her man, but it was different once you were married. We truly functioned as a unit, and taking him away was taking away part of me. He encouraged me to get out of bed though and i washed my face before going to join my friends downstairs.

“How you doing?” Jada asked, looking at me a little too intensely.

“Im good. I had an intense therapy session, im always drained after talking to Dr. williams,” i explained.

“We got you some food, i was gonna bring it up but i didnt wanna wake you,” China said. “You should eat,”

“Im actually starving. What you get?”

“Fried rice, its in the fridge” she said. My mouth watered immediately and i ran to the kitchen. Suddenly i was happy and feeling good about life as i warmed my food and grabbed some cutlery. I brought it to the couch and Jada flipped through netflix finding a new movie.

“A walk to remember?” she asked.

“Too sad,” i said.

“Jumping the broom?”

“Yeah i like that one,” i nodded. She pressed play and i made myself comfortable.

Later on in the day, Ty did come by just like Cayden had said. I let him in and asked him if he wanted something to drink. He said sure and followed me to the kitchen. I got him a can of coke from the fridge.

“How you doing nugget?” he asked. “You look down.”

“Im alright, i didnt sleep a lot last night. Im just tired,” i said.

“Can’t sleep cause yo nigga gon?” he guessed. I stuck my tongue out at him. “Yall so extra.”

“Don’t act like you dont be all pissy when Cole not here. We all have to put up with you until he come back on the weekend.”

“I dont get pissy,” he said real quick, face serious as ever.

“Ok,” i said in a ‘sure’ tone. He sent me a mug and drank his coke. “So what did you need again?” i asked, having forgotten what Cay had told me i was supposed to give him.

“The key to Cayden’s office,” he said.

“Right. Ill go get it, be right back,” i said. He nodded. I got up and left the kitchen to go up to the bedroom. The key was in some safety deposit box with a pin but it was our wedding say so i knew it. I unlocked the box and got the key while also lurking at everything else. There was some money, a gun, some keys, and an envelope. I grabbed the envelope and opened it. It was a deed for the house that had, apparently, been updated to have my name on it beside his. I couldn’t help but smile. I had never asked him to do that. Cayden had bought this house all on his own way before me. It made my heart skip a beat seeing he added my name on a legal paper listing me as an owner of the property.

“I love you Cay,” i said to nobody. I put the letter back where id found it and locked the box back up. I left the room and started for the stairs, jogging down them because id kept Ty waiting when i got distarcted. I was wearing socks though, and the stairs were polished wood, so when i put my foot on the next step it slid all the way past the edge and threw me off balance. I let out a little scream as i  slipped and caught myself on the hand rail before i could go tumbling down the stairs.

“Fuck,” I said, my heart pounding. Ty was now at the bottom of the stairs. I took the rest of the stairs slowly. My hand had somehow ended up on my stomach in a very non random way, i guess to protect it.

“You good?” Ty said.

“Yeah,” I said, trying to calm myself. “That was really scary,” i ran my hand up and down my lower belly. He looked down at my hand which was still on my belly, making slow movements. He looked at me like I was weird at first then he seemed to put things together. I went red.

“Wait…” he said. I quickly removed my hand and wiped the nervous sweat on my jeans. “Are you knocked up?” I didnt answer right away so that about confirmed it.

“Please don’t say anything to anyone,” I begged, closing the sweater I had on. He chuckled.

“Oh shit,” he said, looking at me like he was seeing me for the first time.

“I haven’t gotten to tell Cayden yet so don’t tell him please. I know you’re his best friend but im begging you,” i said desperatly.  

“Don’t worry, I won’t” he said in an understanding tone.

“If he asks how i am just say im good. I dont wanna worry him,” i said. He nodded. “Thanks,” I said, handing him the key. He took it and I thought he was gonna leave but he wrapped one arm around me and pulled me into a hug. This was the most affectionate he had ever been with me. We had a very brother and sister relationship. I mean he would mess up my hair teasingly or choke hold me but this was a real, soft hug. I didn’t know what to do.

“Be careful on the stairs aight?” He said. I nodded. He pulled away. He nodded and then went out the door. I knew I had to tell Cayden. I would feel horrible if he found out from someone else. I promised myself that would be the first thing i did when he got home. I just had to wait a few more days, and not fall down any stairs.

[entireoranges-creativity]

Untitled and barely edited

After much self debate and following my heart and mind I have come to the realization that the top secret Garvez fic from a few months ago isn't going anywhere. I lost my mojo and am stuck. I know my track record and I'll never pick it up again. This was the main reason I was attempting to finish it before sharing as a work in progress. The thing is I actually like what I had (well most of it LOL) and I don't want my work to go to waste. So I decided to share it. I have it separated for the different chapters but for the sake of sanity just gonna put it all together. I suppose if anyone would want to continue it I won't argue with it. Sorry I wasn't able to finish it.

Title: TV Show: Criminal Minds Ship: Garvez (eventually lol) Note: Takes place after the events in 13.4 Disclaimer: I don't own don't sue

At what point exactly the conversation had switched to Garcia Luke couldn’t exactly say, but it wasn’t a topic that he minded. Being still new to the team it was Emily that lead the majority of the discussion sharing anatotes and silly stories she held in her head from nearly thirteen years of history.

“She really is something else huh?” Luke chuckles as he throws the final piece of garbage of their late night dinner into the bin.

“That she is. No matter how dark and depressing things can become Penelope Garcia is that permanent flashing light in the storm."

“Do you think she’s ok?” Emily sighs, she knew what Luke was referring to and the entire evening, even longer, it had been quietly buzzing in her head as well. Besides being a beacon of light Garcia was also sensitive at times nearly at fragile levels. The team respected that, gave her space after more difficult cases, didn’t reprimand her for her office not meeting FBI requirements.

“I honestly don’t know Alvez. That case...those children...I don’t know.”

“We’re trained to process these type of things, how exactly you train yourself to process shit like that, I’m not entirely sure but somehow we do. I know I’ll be okay tonight. Same as you. Garcia though?”

“Yeah. I know. Perhaps I should give her a call?”

“No. Better yet let’s just go over there Emily. I have no doubt she’s still awake.”

“And I know a diner on the way that sells her favorite pie.’ She stands up walking to the desk and pulls out her purse and keys from the bottom drawer.  ‘Come on Luke our lighthouse needs saved.”

Title: TV Show: Criminal Minds Ship: Garvez (eventually lol) Note: Takes place after the events in 13.4 Disclaimer: I don't own don't sue

The topic of work in any capacity never came up. Anything that could be considered a stresser was held back from being said again. For the nearly two hours the three of them gathered in Garcia’s living room they didn’t say much in reality instead opting towards watching a movie. Neither Luke or Emily were surprised when a sweet family animated movie was selected. They all right then could use a non-stresser of a night. Trolls certainly was able to help provide that.

“I think she’s asleep.” There was no thinking about it, Emily’s soft snores gave away Luke’s quandary.

“Yeah. Sometimes I don’t know how she stays sane. Any of the team.” Garcia gently stands up from the couch careful not to hit the sleeping late night guest and removes a gray blanket from the bookshelf. Without saying anything she hands it to Luke who carefully lays atop of Emily.

“It’s hard.” He feels he should say more, try to reassure her that everything was gonna be okay, but she had already nodded solemnly and step out of view into the kitchen. Emily’s snores increase in volume and he finds a smiling at her fondly. In the last year, now more then a year he hadn’t recalled ever seeing her sleep. Everyone else on the plane had some point or other had slept on the often late night flights back to D.C. but never Emily Prentiss. Either working on something with the case or lost in thought.

“She’s pretty amazing huh?” Garcia had returned holding a Kermit The Frog mug with a liquid steaming out of it.

“Sure is. Gotta say with the nearly countless people who have served as my superior she's within the top 5.”

“No, she’s the best.” Garcia says matter of factly. Luke chuckles.

“Ok she’s the best.” A silence that held the room the majority of the evening has returned. Garcia takes a seat in the cushion chair that Luke had previously been occupying as she sips gingerly from the mug.

“It has to be hard for you.” She states after a few moments.

“What is?”

“To be in love with her and not be able to do anything.” At that moment Luke was grateful he hadn’t been offered anything to drink because he’d either do the ultimate spit take and or drop the mug onto the carpet.

“What?! I’m not.” He responses in a harsh and panicked whisper hoping it won’t awake a certain someone.

“It’s okay to admit it. Despite my repetition of not being able to I can keep a secret.”

“There isn’t anything to admit. Emily is great but yeah no.” Garcia lowers her eyes and glares at him as if trying to bore into his mind perhaps his soul.

“I’ve seen the way you look at her.” Luke stays silent, he was completely unaware of any looks recently he had given to Emily (or any individual for that matter) which would have opened Garcia’s opinion to this conclusion.

“Yeah um no.” He considers apologizing for not having feelings for their unit chief but opts against. That silence returns, this time it felt heavy. He pulls his cellphone from his pocket to get see how late it was. Twenty minutes til two. He was surprised Susannah hadn’t called or texted to see when he was coming by to get Roxy. He had previously informed her he was back in town and would get Roxy that night. Though apart of him suspected Susannah would dognap his baby and live on the run. Perhaps dressing the canine in silly costumes. Luke snickers at the images in his head and silliness of his delusions. He lifts his head back up to Garcia only to find she had followed Emily’s move and had fallen asleep. For a second he’s disappointed, he would have loved to know what she thought of Roxy dressed as a pirate. Perhaps another evening. He steps quietly to the same bookshelf that held Emily’s blanket and removes one for Garcia. He removes the nearly empty mug from her hand placing it on the coffee table before drapping the at times crazy tech analyst with a red and blue striped fabric.

Luke is about to make his venture out to get his dog and get home at last when it occurs to him he didn’t have a key to the door. He certainly didn’t have the heart to wake either of the women. And no way in hell was he gonna leave with the apartment unsecured.

Sorry if this wakes you. Can’t get Roxy tonight. Thx for watching her. Will get in morning.

Once the text to Susannah is sent a wave of pure nearly knocking you out exhaustion hits Luke. Garcia’s room with her bed was not gonna happen. He looks around and sees next to Emily is the only viable place. Spotting the light switch it flips it down and using the outside lights shining in from the window cautiously makes his way back the couch. In mere minutes he is asleep.

Title: TV Show: Criminal Minds Ship: Garvez (eventually lol) Note: Takes place after the events in 13.4 Disclaimer: I don't own don't sue

As an FBI agent and before that an Army Ranger he knows when someone is watching him, staring at him. His heart starts to increase in tempo, the fight or flight response is starting to battle within. Next to him something or rather someone starts to stir and push against his body. At that point Luke finally opens his eyes to fall upon Garcia in a different outfit then he previously saw her in staring down grinning. He turns ever so slightly to discover at some time that night the cushion of nothingness between him and Emily they both now shared the space. He even had the majority of what had been her blanket. Emily is the first to scrabble to her feet and make a beeline down the hall; he assumes to the bathroom.

“See? I told you.” Garcia almost says in a sing-song voice.

“See what?”

“You like her. Even if subconsciously you like her Luke.” He rubs his eyes fiercely letting a groan escape.

“I don’t. We were just two adults who slept on the same couch. Thats. All.” Garcia shrugs before turning away herself and walks into her kitchen.

“What do you want in your scrabbled eggs?”

“Actually I need to get go....”

“I got peppers, onions, sooooo many cheeses. What’s your poison L.A.?” He smirks at the newest moniker for his name.

“Thank you Garcia but if I don’t get Roxy soon I’m not gonna have her any longer.” The sound of a metal utensil falling on a tile counter, a gasp, and barefeet hitting wooded floor fill Luke’s ears.

“Oh my God what happened to Roxy?!” He understands smiling let alone laughing would be the worst thing to do, but God he couldn’t help it.

“Garcia she’s fine.” He at last gets out, her glaring at him helped speed up his recovery.

“You said you weren’t gonna have her any longer.”

“Yeah as in Susannah my dog sitter is gonna insist on just keeping her.” A stare down between the two commences, it’s broken when the bathroom door reopens and Emily walks back into the living room.

“Good morning.” Emily says to both, but her glance only lands on Garcia.

“Good morning my sweet princess! Sleep well?” Luke can swear Garcia gave a wink in his direction. He nearly throws his hands up in disbelief. What exactly did she think could have occurred with herself literally sitting a foot away?!

“Yeah it was nice. But I’m gonna have a kink in my neck.” He would have said the same if asked.

“I’m sorry my love. I’m making scrambled eggs. Just let me know whatcha want in them!” Emily’s eyes grow wide and without invention moseys into the kitchen with Garcia pivoting to follow. He remains on his spot on the couch hearing mutters of their discussion, refrigerator opening and closing, pots being shuffled around. He removes his cellphone. 7:37 and 5 missed calls and 12 text messages from Susannah.

“Shit.” He leaps up and beelines to the door.

“Everything ok Luke?” Emily pokes her head out of the kitchen, Garcia hovering behind.

“Yeah fine. Its just Roxy I need to...”

“Of course! Thank you for last night. It meant a lot to me.” Luke is surprised Emily didn’t turn at the gasp Garcia made, but grateful she was missing the apparent ‘I told ya I knew something is going on!’ grin.

“Anytime. And thank you Penelope for the movie and the couch. Maybe another time I can try those scrambled eggs.” His phone starts to vibrate still being on silent. Susannah, of course. The women give him a wave as he answers and slips out of the apartment.

Title: TV Show: Criminal Minds Ship: Garvez (eventually lol) Note: Takes place after the events in 13.3 Disclaimer: I don't own don't sue

Luke exchanges a look with JJ, it didn’t take six hundred hours in profiling training to have the sense something in that poor woman’s story wasn’t adding up. Or at least there were important elements being left out which could mean Kimberly’s life or another one of her clients being saved. He knew if anyone could dig through the half truths and missing information it would be a certain technical analyst.

“Cool hand Luke, what you need?” He smirks before giving an unexpected chuckle. And he thought that L.A. was an improvement.

“Wow, I like the way that sounds, Garcia. You feeling ok?” The opportunity to tease her about it despite the fact it made him feel good and appreciated as more then the ‘new guy’ or ‘newb’ couldn’t be passed up.

“I am naturally magnanimous in word and deed, and when it comes your way, bask in it. What do you want?” He feels his smile turning up again at her explanation in usual Garcia style.

“Listen, JJ and I’ Why he suddenly had a the foresight to mention JJ was prefy to this conversation was one he couldn’t answer. He assumed she knew he wasn’t alone, on calls like this it’s often groups spoken on speaker phone. ‘We need to run background checks on all the male members of the Desmond family. We were told that they're deceased, but we need verification.” Luke keeps going back to why would someone lie about that? What was being held back from them?

“So cyber grave-digging, look for zombies. Got you.” He won’t quite put it like that but any other response from Garcia he won’t accept or believe he was conversating with the real Garcia.

“You can start by double-checking a death certificate for Conrad Desmond sometime in '99.” JJ adds to the phone call helping reign in exactly what they were looking for to speed things along for everybody’s sake.

“I am the genie in genealogy. Just rub my lamp. That came out wrong. Goodbye.” The sound of her pure panic and picturing her expression was priceless.

“Wow.” Luke couldn’t help himself as he mutters at the dash of the vehicle.

“What did you do to her?” JJ questions a smile equally wide on her face. Luke shrugs not sure how to answer. He didn’t do anything to her, it was Garcia being Garcia. No more no less. He can see in his peripheral view that his passenger is staring him down.

“What?”

“You know what Alvez. I’ve known Penelope for over ten years. She’s the Godmother to both my boys. To say I know her well is understatement. And that Garcia right then and in fact almost anytime she’s interacting with you nearby isn’t the Garcia I have known.” Luke still is unsure of how to respond. This wasn’t the first occurrence he had been told this. He always chalked it up with the friendly banter he had with Garcia.

“It’s just Garcia being Garcia.” He hopes that’ll be a satisfactory response. He sees JJ shake her head.

“Nope. I don’t buy it.’ She pauses before her small smile erupts into a full ear to ear grin. ‘I think she likes you!” He knows immediately what definition of like was being applied. Great just great. Now not only was he involved with Emily occurring to Garcia; he now was involved with Garcia occurring to JJ. He never would have suspected working for the BAU was a keen to being back in high school.

“JJ, she can barely tolerate me.” He knew that was a lie. Their relationship had made great strides the past few weeks.

“No. I’m telling you Luke there’s something there. And she’s pretty awesome too. Just saying.” She adds the last part softly. He can only hope JJ didn’t see his eyes roll into his head.

Title: TV Show: Criminal Minds Ship: Garvez (eventually lol) Note: Takes place after the events in 13.5 Disclaimer: I don't own don't sue

Luke stares out the window of the jet the latest briefing of what they were arriving to in under an hour had just been completed. Various topics from the other agents filtered in and out of his ears but they were just sounds to him. She had been shot? Garcia had been shot? He had studied and learned the histories professionally and personally of everyone on this jet; and Hutch and Steven too. Then it occurs to him he had never fully cracked Garcia files or asked in-depth questions involving her. Not because she didn’t matter to him, rather because much as she was involved with the team she was an outsider and not a true BAU agent. Plus it was Garcia she sits in front of multiple screens 97 percent of the time, Luke could justify why he never asked her ‘hey have you ever been shot and have that shooting be in connection to your job?’ But he still felt guilty as if he failed her not knowing.

“It was one of the scariest things I ever dealt with. Still is.” He looks up to see Spencer has moved seats to the one directly in front of himself. Luke did know Spencer’s history and if that statement was true he knew it had to have been extremely bad.

“I just feel really bad that she has to deal with all that. I’ve dealt with, hell I will always be fighting the PSTS demons until the day I die, so I’ve seen the signs. That what we saw was it clear as day.” Spencer nods knowingly himself.

“What makes it worse is I don’t think Garcia has ever dealt with it. I mean really dealt with it. You deal and master your experiences with Afghanistan. I have started therapy for my time in prison...”

“You have?’ Spencer nods once again. ‘Good for you Spence. But yeah I hear ya Garcia for what I can gather her wounds healed, the initial emotional drama faded, and that was it. It works for a time, sometimes even ten years but unless she really faces it she’ll never heal.”

“I don’t think she realizes there is a wound still, at least not until a few hours ago. And in a couple days it’ll be covered up again.”

“Until there is another trigger which could occur at any time. It has to be hell for Garcia the knowledge it’s always somewhere lurking in the back of her mind and without proper therapy or help she can’t handle it.”

“I think just being there for her on the days it begins to crumble is all we can do. Because much as I hate she never got help I’m not fool to think she’ll ever seek actual help.” Spencer sighs and turns to the window as the jet begins its decent back to the ground.

Title: TV Show: Criminal Minds Ship: Garvez (eventually lol) Note: Takes place after the events in 13.5 Disclaimer: I don't own don't sue

“Great job everyone. I’m really proud of you guys. This one... it was a hard one.” Emily address her team as they gather up their assortment of bags and begin to get off the jet. At this moment more then anything Luke wants to pop open a beer drown it down, followed by another, and another until the world and more importantly his memories become a blur. He exchanges a look with Matt, his face expressing the same. He didn't have to contiune looking at the others to know they were all on the same boat. Not all cases created this reaction, but this was as Emily said a hard one. The herd of them follow towards their offices to clean up the last few things before the relaxation process when the group is stopped by an excited Garcia and JJ equally as joy filled.

"Oh! Here they are. It's the whole everyone, ok, whole family, whole family is here. Whole family, I would like to take this opportunity to formally apologize. I am so..." She says with a pure sincerty in her words. Luke all during the case and away from her wanted to give her a call, send a text. to do anything to allow her knowledge of the fact he cared; but he knew that others on the team had gone an amazing job keeping her head above the water line.

"You don't have to apologize. We all understand from experience." Emily poiletly cuts Garcia off.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"All right. I'll shake that off. Uh, I am going to recommit to living life to the fullest.' Something in Luke strings, as he and Spencer had previously discussed she was covering up the pain. He sure a visit with Derek Morgan did wonders for her and was a great bandaid, but this simple solution of shaking it off didn't fly for him. 'Right now, to that end, I'd like to invite everybody over to my house for a celebration of life, liberty, and the pursuit of responsible intoxication." However right now more then his desire to help her Luke still wanted to get drunk. And he couldn't think of a better place or group of people to do it with

"All right." One spoken agreement for everybody.

"To the home cave!"

+++

Yeah so that’s it. My vision was Garcia was gonna try to set up Luke & Emily and perhaps try to recruit some of the team on her “side” while JJ was gonna try to do the same with Luke & Garcia and also try to get others on the team on her “side”. I also was trying to deal with Garcia not really dealing with her stress and constantly burying things down and Luke was gonna force her  to deal with it.

[citiesfinest]

“i’m into you”

so Friday rolls around and its 5 am. im so excited to get to san diego for so many reasons, but mainly just one. but thats not the first thing i think of when i wake up in the morning. its, “how many things will go wrong before i get there” aka my awful airport luck. last night, i saw that the flight i was supposed to get on was cancelled and there was only one flight left that i could get on or else i wouldn't be able to make it. there is this god awful snow storm that came in last night and will last all weekend, the irony of my life.

the roads suck. like literally 13 inches of snow. driving there was horrible and hated it. i was probably going 20 mph but i also didn't care, i just needed to get to the airport. i made it, i parked, i checked in and i headed to the gate and by the grace of god i made it on the flight!!! i totally made a scene in the airport on how excited i was but i don't care.

made it in and was so happy to hear that Keaton hadn't left and she was still here so while we waited on her, we went and ate at barley mash. absolutely loved that place and their flatbread. so we ate and chatted and waited for keaton while i was excitedly looking at my phone to see if another picture was sent. such a girl i know but i don't even care.

she shows up and she IMMEDIATELY took me to chickfila. i mean thats love people. she took me to the sunset cliffs at point loma and it was beautiful. i could have just sat there forever. she took me by her house and then we grabbed dinner at this vegan place… i just got tea. needless to say, if you dont have burgers, its not going to work out between us.

she took me back to where i was staying while i very very patiently waited for our next plan. well since i suck at being patient it was difficult and even though those plans fell through, it only built the excitement more. i had to make the person grovel a bit but at the end of the day, i didn't care i just wanted to see them.

saturday comes, and we head to hash house a go go and the plates were bigger than my face. i mean, such good food and the place was so chill. i loved it. ran by a rite aid to see if they had any sweet tea, they didn’t. thats discrimination right there. 1 o'clock rolls around i get a text that says “ im coming over” “prepare yourself” best text ever. we pull up to the house and they said “ theres his truck” and i dont think i realized how excited i was until then. i came into this trip was 0 expectations. not expecting anything. but a girl can still crush on a guy right? which is what i did. i cant tell you how many times i pulled on that door handle to open the door until i opened it. and it was awesome when i finally made it to him.  it was at that point that i didn't want to take my hands off of him but im a respectable girl so i just kept that smile on my face. which didn't leave the entire trip. some time went by and we were all just hanging out and then they found out that a motocross event was going on tonight and i was immediately in. knowing that i would absolutely love it but it was fun to see him in his element, being at something that i knew he loved. so all in all, it was a great first date.

we left and headed to this bar that i cant remember the name of, and waited in line for what seemed to be an eternity. but we finally made it in and i loved the place. literally played so many good songs. he got this slushy drink with redbull and vodka and i tried it… yeah i still dont like redbull. but i got a margarita and it was so great. just being there with him was great. watching him laugh at me dance was awesome because i know im a bad dancer but he just went with it. we left that bar and headed to another bar called moonshine. it was everything. we walked the whole way there. there were strobe lights and a huge dance floor and it was heaven to me. we took a few shots and there was a sweet tea drink. he said that there wasn't that much alcohol in it but maybe that just proves that im a lightweight. we danced together and he caught me a few times but that was expected. he has the best personality and is hilarious which made the night even better. until the unexpected happened… we went to get food afterwords and there was my favorite sweet tea there and HE DILUTED IT WITH WATER. so gross. i literally poured that shit out immediately. that whole night was so great though. but it was still just the beginning. his friend asked him if he was headed back with all of us, as in where i was staying, i pretended to look away so that he could answer and i knew he said yes but before he did i was like in my head, “hell yeah he is”. so we get back to the house, i go into the room and i come out to find him laying on the couch. my first instinct was to crawl on top of him, but he hadn't even kissed me yet so i didn't do it. but instead, i brought him to the bedroom. i think we fell asleep 3 1/2 hours later….

i woke up probably an hour later to grab breakfast with marc which was great. it was good to get good conversation with him. he was hilarious how excited he was to get together, so much so that he wants me to get to know his family more and come back out. the pressure without our parents throwing us together is great. grabbed an uber back and headed home. took a quick “power nap” except we didn't nap at all. it definitely woke me up more. the morning went by fast, the guys played video games which annoyed my friend but i really didn't care. i was surprised it annoyed my friend so much because at the end of the day, they're guys. they opened their whole weekend for us, they should be able to chill.

we jumped in the car and headed to grab lunch at this sandwich place and that dip was so damn good. i mean so damn good. we went hiking at torrey pines and it was beautiful. this huge trail across the shore of the ocean. he is so playful and bad hahaha i mean the jokes that go through his mind, its hilarious because the same ones go through my mind. i told him that wherever he is one day “ whenever you think of something dirty, i will be thinking it too” he's super handsy which i like. he's easy to hang out with. i think then is when i realized, that i liked him but i also realized that if this doesn't go anywhere later on, i had a bomb ass time and loved it all. im such a live in the moment kinda girl so thats what i did. i enjoyed every single moment. especially when he would grab me from behind and pick me up. or when he grabbed my ass and the lady in the car said “watch where you put your hands” that was the BEST moment. we drove home and as soon as we got home, he pulled me in the room and i literally would've taken him down right there. but there were people outside the door and im a loud person. i went to take a quick shower and the rest of the night went on. the bbq was so good and they ran out of silverware and i ate with my hands, but so what.

we were getting ready to leave for the bonfire and saw him go into the room to grab his jacket, and i was going to follow him in but he came out so quick so i just ended up going in to grab it. and then i turned around and he was in there and he closed the door and asked for a piece of gum… and just knew. and he threw me on the bed and i would have taken him right then and there… again. he told me this morning that tonight would be worth the wait but im not a very patient person so the teasing was going to get good. we grabbed everything and walked out.

we headed to grab firewood and lighter and we found sweet tea at the store and i didn't think my night could get better. but that wasn't until i saw him jump in the water because he lost a bet. and seeing him walk out of that water was the greatest sight ever. like holy shit. he wasn't the only one who was wet. and then he like actually got me wet by grabbing me and soaking me. i was a little to excited to warm him up by the fire but he had a different idea of warming up. and holy hell it was incredible. he told me he was about to take me over in the sand and i told him “lets go” and trust me i think we both would have. we sat in the car after the fire and i had him hooked. the key was to build the suspense and when i told him the state i was in, i knew i had him. too bad he had to wait…

we got home and i went to change and he looked at me like i was crazy for putting clothes on… such a good look to get. we went out with our friends and sat down. i sat down on him at first but i knew if i stayed on top of him, i wouldn't be able to control myself to i moved to sit next to him. he was talking about playing a game with his friend but i he was good and said no. so i texted him saying “can we go now”. he laughed and immediately got up and pulled me in. literally pulled me in. i tried moving away to make him work for it and then he started tickling so i was like well fuck this just do it. needless to say, we were both sweating by the end of the night.

morning of he took me to get smoothies and donuts and headed to the airpot. great weekend. too short. still very surreal that i went down. but i would do it again. something about him intrigues me. but if anything, great times and memories came from it, and im glad i did it.

to the guy who will remain unnamed for now, this trip was one for the books

[rawcbwzx-blog]

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[cryinggameff]

Fifty Six

Randi

I woke up in a cold sweat, clutching the blankets in my hands tightly. My stomach was in knots and my heart wouldn’t stop racing. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to be sick.

I’d been having nightmares for a few days, they were all about Cay getting shot and me crying over him screaming for help. But in my dreams he never made it, he always died in my arms and that’s when i would wake up, panic on 100. It got better when I would see him next to me obviously ok but by that point I already felt sick. Cayden showed up behind me, grabbing my hair and running his hand across my forehead.

“Baby?” He said, voice filled with concern. I was still being sick so I couldn’t answer. When I was done I rested my forehead on the toilet seat, steadying myself. “What’s going on?” He asked.

“I had a bad dream,” I croaked.

“And it was bad enough to make you sick?” He frowned. I nodded.

“It was the worst thing that could ever happen to me,” I said, still emotional.

“What’s that?” He asked as if it wasn’t obvious.

“I lost you. You died, in my arms,” I said, looking over at him.

“I got shot?” He guessed. I nodded. He picked me up and put me in his lap, cradling me like a kid. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“It’s been happening for a few days,” I said. He smoothed my hair.

“You should have told me,” he said. “How do we get them to stop? You want me to take a few days off work so we can spend some time together? Would that help?” He offered.

“You don’t have to do that,” I groaned.

“Yes I do. If my girl not feeling good I gotta,be there,” he said. I closed me eyes, leaning my head on his chest, taking in his scent. That also helped to calm me down.

“I wish I never fell in love with you,” I mumbled. He pulled back looking at me confused.

“What?” He said shocked.

“Because now I have so much to loose,” I explained. He nodded then, returning my head to his chest.

“I get it,” he said. “But I’m not going anywhere so don’t worry about that.”

“Okay,” I sighed, putting my hand on his chest. I trailed down to his ribcage and ran my finger lightly over the bullet hole. I started to wonder if I could really do this shit anymore, worrying about cay because of his lifestyle. But I quickly pushed the thought out of my mind.

“How’s your stomach?” He asked, moving hair from my face.

“Better, I think I can lay down now,” I said. He stood up, picking me up along with him and started for the bedroom. He put me down on the bed and grabbed the remote, turning the TV on. Then he got in and let me snuggle up to his side.

“We can chill till you feel tired,” he said. I nodded. So we watched some cooking shows until I eventually fell back asleep.

The next morning I got up and ready quickly because I had a lot to do to prepare for this dinner for Cole. There was gonna be Hella people in my house and I still had to prepare for food, drinks, all that. I don’t know what I was thinking when I offered to throw it. But I felt the need to, Ty wasn’t up to doing it right now, and I was the next closest person to him. Cayden offered to drive me around and I took him up on it because that would be one less stress.

I pulled up to ikea first because I didn’t even have enough plates and cutlery for everyone. It was gonna be the crew plus his parents, my parents because they loved Cole, plus a few others. Around 20 people. After the plates and cutlery we got back in the car.

“Where next?” Cay asked.

“Grocery store. We gotta start this dinner business,” I said. He nodded and started the engine.

Once everything was gathered we drove back home and unloaded. I put some stuff to start cooking because it was already afternoon. Cay went to do some phone calls for a bit because he hadn’t gone in today as promised.

As i set the table for all the family that was coming Cayden came and offered to help.

“Sure, why dont you do the plates and ill do cutlery,” i suggested. He agreed and we started arranging the seats.

“So Ran, when you gon have my kids?” He asked casually. My face scrunched up naturally and i laughed. ‘What?’ I thought. “I don’t know why you laughing, im dead ass serious.”

My face dropped and i stopped laughing before i got in trouble.

“Well, i didn’t know you wanted kids,” i said simply, denying that this was about to go where I feared.

“Nah, I told you before we got married that i wanted a family with you,” he said in a very certain tone.

“I thought that just meant be together, live together forever, joined bank accounts and what not.”

“You lying. So when?” He asked. I sighed and put down the cutlery i was holding. “I can wait, it doesn’t have to be right now.”

“I don’t want kids right now. Really i may never want them,” i said, not for the first time to him. I was pretty sure i had said it to him before we got married as well. “We can get a dog-”

“What you mean you never want kids. Thats ridiculous,” he cut me off shaking his head.

“What you know about babies Cay? We just got married for goodness sake. Being a mom takes a lot Cayden, and I’m not sure I can do all that. That’s not something I want to mess up.”

“You won’t know until you try. And I know I know for a fact you would be the best mom, you know how to take care of people.”

“Cay-”

“I took a bullet for you, you owe me,” he said.

“Thats not fair,” i shook my head. “I know I could take care of a baby, it’s not that. It’s the sacrifices that come with it. I don’t know if that’s the kinda life I want. And its my body at the end of the day, ill do what i want.” I finished, done with the subject for the night. Cayden looked at me like i had betrayed him before storming away. I took over his job and finished the plates he had not set.

When eveyone arrived and we sat down there was an awkward distance between me and Cay and i just hoped nobody could sense. He didn’t ask me to make his plate for him, he didnt hold my hand under the table. Cole stood up then to make a speech. I smiled and tried to be as jovial as I could despite the desagreement earlier.

“Well first thing, I’d like to thank Randi for putting all this together,” he said, looking at me. I blushed and nodded, “and I’d like to thank you all for coming through to support your boy. It means a lot to have my family all here,” he said, looking at them. I knew how much that must have meant considering the years of them not accepting him, but the relationship was better now. “And to have all my friends who always there, either to kick it, or in the stands watching me play. Yall real ones. That’s why I’m excited to tell Yall that I’ll be playing ball again next year…” he said. My brows came together and we all stared at him. He had told me he thought he was done. “Because Dallas signed me to play proball,” he smirked. I think I squealed, and other people cheered and clapped.

“I hate you for not telling me,” I said, teary eyes with happiness.

“I told no one, well i told Ty… I wanted to wait till now, when you were all here,” he said. “So ya, it’s lit,” he finished, lifting his glass. “To the future,”

“To the future!” We all shouted raising our glasses.

When we were finished eating i cleared the table with the help of my mom and Cay took everyone else outside to the patio.

“Ill wash you dry,” my mom said, as we entered the kitchen.

“Okay,” i said. She started running hot water while i scraped any food off the plates.

“So. What happened with you and your husband,” she asked. It was uncomfortable when she called him that and she knew so she did it to tease me.

“Oh nothing. Cayden is just mad at me.”

“Why is he mad at you?” She asked, handing me a wet plate. I wiped it with the cloth.

“I told him i dont want kids,” i said. My mom paused and turned to me.

“You don’t?” She sounded dissapointed which i hated. I shook my head.

“I really dont think so,” i said apologetic. She paused for a moment.

“So Cayden does. Thats why he’s mad.” She said.

“Exactly. Thats stupid right?” I asked, expecting support. She was silent.

“I shouldn’t get involved,” she said. My face fell because it was rare for my mom to not support me.

“So you agree with Cayden then.” I didnt ask.

“That’s not what im saying. But you cant just shoot his wishes down and make a decision then expect him to not be mad. Thats all.”

“Shouldn’t that not matter. He seems to forget really ill be doing everything. I think i get the final say,” i huffed. My mom sighed.

“Oh sweetie. I told you marriage was no joke,” was all she said. I gave up trying to win her over to my side. She was just making me feel bad.

Once everyone left and cleaning was done i went  upstairs to our bedroom and took a long bath. I was getting ready to be alone with Cayden and for whatever drama may follow. He never came up though. I came out of the bath and chilled in the blankets for a while, and still nothing. I turned the light off and pulled the blankets tight around me so that it would kind of feel like his arms.

Cayden

My blood was boiling. I didnt know what i had done to her that she never wanted to have my kids. To me that was like saying she didnt love me because thats what people who love each other do. They get married and start a family. Then there was the fact that she didnt care what i thought and pulled that its my body nonsense on me. Obviously i understood she had most of the hard work in this but i wasn’t her boyfriend, i was her husband and i thought she respected that. I tried to be chill during the party so I wouldn’t kill Cols Vibe. But I’m sure people could tell because Ty came to me after when people we chatting outside. He was out and waking now which was good to see after 2 weeks in hospital.

“Who hit you?” He said. I shrugged.

“nobody man, it’s nothing. Dumb shit with Randi,” I mumbled.

“Married life not what you expected,” he chuckled. I let out a little smirk.

“Nah bruh,” I sighed. “But we ain’t fighting or shit like that, we had a disagreement on some serious shit, and I don’t know how we supposed to get past that shit.”

“Hmm”

I decided to sleep in another room for the night.

The next morning i had a very rude awakening. It was Randi slamming the wall with the door as she threw it open.

"This is where you slept!” She was livid. I sat up a bit.

“Why does it matter?” I asked groggy.

“Because you don’t sleep in a whole other bedroom just because you’re angry. If i ever slept in another room besides our bedroom you would kill me. Hell thats why you made me sell my place!” She threw the pillow at me.

“At least I stay under the same roof even though im fucking livid, I don’t run away at the slightest bit of discomfort,” I mumbled.

“Oh thats how you feeling.”

“Ion wanna see you right now,” i said. Her face dropped and i felt bad for a slight moment. “I dont really wanna talk to you either.”

“Fine,"she said with a shrug, turning for the door. She left, closing it a little harder than necessary.

I grabbed my phone to see if I had any messages or calls. I had shit to look over at work then Pat needed to see me, so I got up and started getting ready. I was just gonna do my own thing until Randi actually took a chance to hear me out instead of up and deciding shit on her own. I really didn’t even wanna see her though because it made an anger rise up in me. How could I want this so badly with her and she not even interested. We weren’t on the same wavelength which was a first.

I pulled up to the original warehouse to see Pat in the afternoon. I went up the stairs and to the office. I knocked once before going in. I immediately noticed the new look from Red’s old, sleezy office. Now it looked reasonable with black leather chairs, a big desk, and a pool table by the little bar. Similar to how I had mine.

"I like what you done to the place,” I said.

“Man I had to get rid of Red’s strip club shit, I think that sofa actually had STD’s on it,” he said. I cackled because I knew for a fact it did.

“Smart.” I sat down in the chair in front of the desk. “Aight man so let me holla at you about the Dominicans,” I started.

“Red’s niggas,” he sighed sitting as well. “You think they really all want revenge?”

“see that’s what I was thinking but using my connections to get info, it seems it’s just a few niggas who was loyal to him like that, and we got 2 of them, the one who got me and the one who got Ty. My homie at the Dominican warehouse by Barlow says he don’t think the others will try anything because word spread we got they friends. So I think it’s handled, imma still limit our deals with them though, cut em off slowly.”

“See I was just thinking I’d much rather risk getting into business with these Jamaicans. They wild, but they about their money. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” he said. I nodded.

“Tell you what if you trust em,” I shrugged. “I trust you so, if you tell me it’s legit, I’m down.”

“I’ll look into it. I know some niggas.”

“Aight cool,” I said, sitting back and getting comfortable.

“You ain’t gotta be somewhere?” He chuckled. “Like with your new wife.”

I thought about how I had promised to take a few days off to be with her but all that was out the window now. I was too bitter to be by her side right now.

“Nah,” I said simply.

“Shit, well let’s hit up the strip club then,” he suggested. I nodded. We got up and left the office.

We went out for a few hours because we hit up a bar first, then we went to the club. I left the club around 10 to go home. Pat and some other niggas were still inside. I got in my car and started for home.

I pulled up around 30 minutes later because the club was so out of the way. I opened the door sort of quietly because I figured Randi was sleep and if she wasn’t awake we wouldn’t have to deal with each other. I put my keys down by the door and went to the kitchen. When I got there the lights where all off except the small amount coming from the open fridge that Randi stood in front of. She glanced back at me and I stared back at her as she ate ice cream from the container. After a moment she turned back without a word and continued. I grabbed my water from the fridge and a banana all without uttering a word, then I went upstairs to my new room.

I wasn’t sure how long I was gonna not talk to her but the next morning I woke up feeling the same way, betrayed. I didn’t wanna open my mouth and say something I’d regret because with the way I was feeling I would. So we went around each other quietly for that day as well and things got real awkward when her mom came over.

“Hey mama,” I said holding the door open. She gave me a hug.

“Hey baby, how you doin?” She smiled.

“I’m alright, how you been?”

“I’m great. Is Randi home, I didn’t call ahead,” she giggled. My smile faltered.

“Im…not sure,” I admitted.

“Wouldn’t you know if she were home?” She laughed for a minute before going quiet. “Yall still fighting aren’t you,” she realized. Apparently she knew. I scratched my neck. There was an awkward silence.

“I’m here,” I heard Randi come up behind me. “Come on in mom, we can go sit on the patio.”

“Okay sweetie,” her mom said, going further into the house. “Nice seeing you baby,” she said to me before trailing behind Randi to the back.

That night I had my first bad dream in a long time, and I knew why. I just refused to admit it or give in. I knew, thinking about it, Randi was having them too. I was torn between reconciling things with her, but not wanting to give I’m so easily. Having kids and a family was very important to me. I felt if I gave in first in this silent warfare I was agreeing to her terms and I’d never get what I wanted. So I decided to play it casual for the next few days and keep icing her out till she came running to me. I didn’t mean it in an evil way but I just needed her to get how strongly I felt about the issue.