#sleepy bois inc incorrect quotes

[kittycatcomander]

AU where SBI are villains, and Kristin is the villain wrangler making sure all the kids who get counseling in her office get a chance to meet who ever they want, even if they’re wanted dead by the hero commission.

Cue meet-cute(?) between Kristin and Phil, where she spends weeks tracking down the infamous “ Crowfather, killer of heroes and hater of the system” because some little kid wanted see him, and she stands tall and totally not terrified (/s) on a rooftop waiting for him.

And Phil is faced with this woman who spent hours and hours researching his routines not to arrest him but to let a little kid meet him, and he just falls for her.

So they exchange numbers, and everytime from there on out when Kristin has a kid who wants to meet The Blade or Orpheus or Nemesis she just casually shoots THE TOP VILLAIN a message, internally screaming, while Phil is kicking his feet on the air like a stereotypical teenager everytime his phone dings with a personalized ringtone.

Hero!Dream: I have finally confronted you, doer of evil! Today, our fight will be legend-

Crowfather!Phil: wait pause mate- OMG ITS HER 🥰🥰

Hero!Dream: wait wha-

Technoblade: I’ll take it from here

And so begins her getting really casual about the fact she personally texts the top villain.

I’m imagining some side stuff where she meets Tommy, a sidekick in desperate need of help (which she’s happy to provide), and a few others who’s relationship evolves with her over time.

Kirstin when first meeting the Blade: hooooooly smokes this guy is Dangerous, but if the kid wants to meet him… I’ll be prepared

Techno: uhhhhhh (struggling to interact with the receptionist, holds kids and swings them around gently like planes, lets them win fake fights)

Kristin: ok wait he’s like seven shaking puppies built like a brick house

She and Phil talk more and more as the arrangement continues, about everything and eventually life, and things shift from there. The first time that a villain tries hurting one of the kids also shifts their relationship…. especially since Kristin handles it as efficiently as she does.

There’s more, but in this AU I imagine Kristin to have a super dangerous power of her own (unregistered because teehee) that motivated her to work with troubled youth in need of help and kids working with a limited lifespan. I want her to be OP but just friendly and downplaying her ability since she was never in a situation to use it to the full extant.

Also there’d obviously be a CrimeBoys plot and adoption of Tommy into the family (bye bye Dream) which leads to her getting invited over to like. Family dinners and stuff, where the interactions are all completely cute and normal but undercut by her perspective reminding her of crimes they’ve all committed. Like-

“Phil, who had the most beautiful eyes but hands stained with the blood of approximately 3,791 people, passed her the salad with a bright smile. His son(?) continued the story of how he met a new friend. Kristin wasn’t sure if the story was in or out of masks, and she was scared to ask at this point.”

I especially want her to and Phil to reflect the two main approaches to changing the world, where you could either completely destroy the system in place (villains, anarchy) and forcefully restart, or you could tackle an issue at its lowest (if the world is full of corrupt people, change the people from a young age)

[incorrect-dream-smp-quotes]

Techno: Okay, time for Plan C.

Phil: You don't have a Plan B?

Techno: No, I do, but Plan B involves Wilbur dying, so that's a last resort.

Tommy: I like Plan B.

Wilbur: Why do I have to die?! Why not Tommy?!

Techno: That's Plan G.

Tommy: HEY!

[starboyrockstar]

SBI INCORRECT QUOTES #3

Wilbur: I have the highest kiss count in the family

Techno: Maybe, but you don't have the highest kill count in the family

Tommy: IM A MINOR-

[nomsfaultau]

Philza: me and Wilbur just had an argument :(

Tommy: uhh so he’s not speaking to you?

Philza, sighing: no, when Wilbur’s mad he just gets really dramatic and ominous. Watch. Son? Wilbur, not looking up: yes?

Philza: I love you

Wilbur: you only love the idea of me

[tang0w0tek]

just had an art idea with “whose kids are more chaotic” and it’s literally just sbi vs the clockers

[lunar-lover-writes15]

SBI RANDOM WRITE PART 2

Second part to the last tangent/story. TW SWEARING!

Technoblade: “Are you sure about this? Once this thing broadcasts, there’s no turning back.” (Talking about the video of Tommy stuck in a tree)

Wilbur: (evil look in his eyes) “That’s what I’m counting on.”

20 minutes later

Tommy: (yelling and opens the door) “WHAT THE FUCK WILBUR!! YOU POSTED THE DAMN VIDEO OF ME IN THE FUCKING TREE!?”

Wilbur: “BAHAHAHAHAA YES HAHAHAHA”

Tommy: “WHAT THE HELL!”

Philza: (standing in the doorway) “Payback for NOT LISTENING TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

Techno: “Yep, payback…plus it’s funny. It could go into a YouTube compilation.”

[munebat]

made a sbi apartment AU incorrect quote of my own since the anon has been doing it and I’m not disappointed

A!tommy: talking about C!ca’s funeral You do know we’re burying a great person today! A!wilbur, shocked: Did someone else die?

[autistic-fandom-trash]

SBI incorrect quotes

Your prompt: Tommy: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Wilbur: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Techno? Techno: Probably “road work ahead”. Phil: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Your prompt: Tommy: Wilbur isn’t answering their phone Techno: I’ll call Tommy: Phil and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Wilbur: Hello?

Your prompt: Tommy: *Gently taps table* Wilbur: *Taps back* Techno: What are they doing? Phil: Morse code. Tommy: *Aggressively taps table* Wilbur: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Your prompt: Tommy, setting down a card: Ace of spades Wilbur, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Techno, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Phil, trembling: What are we playing

Your prompt: Tommy, banging on the door: Wilbur! Open up! Wilbur: Well, it all started when I was a kid... Techno: No, they meant- Phil: Let them finish.

Your prompt: Tommy: *Screams* Wilbur: *Screams louder to assert dominance* Techno: Should we do something?! Phil, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

Your prompt: Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Tommy: Shit. Wilbur: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Techno: OH MY GOD PHIL FELL OFF!!!

Your prompt: Tommy: Everyone, synchronize your watches. Wilbur: I don’t know how to do that. Techno: I don’t wear a watch. Phil: Time is a construct.

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

inncorrect sbi quote book so you won't have to

by cinanom

hahahhahahahahahahahahahaha

Me: i just got a website from my freind. that was a mistake. now im putting in sbi names for this incorrect quote generator and collecting all the unique ones like pokemons so you won't have to.

Me: *two days later* I regret this *looking at 98 pages of sbi quotes and with 7 missing assignments (yes I counted)*

Words: 12022, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Dream SMP, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Characters: Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson | Philza, Wilbur Soot

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson | Philza, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)

Additional Tags: Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Crack, TommyInnit-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Phil Watson-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot-centric, No Angst, yay!, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)

[jadienjaystoriesandart]

Tommy: Isn’t that your brother?

Points to Cyberknife

Techno: No I disowned him a long time ago.

[ltlemonpop]

Techno : okay- Phil. You remember that you are on your last life correct?

Phil: yah

Techno : good. Now please explain to me why you are LITERALLY ON A DATE WITH DEATH!

Phil, holding Kristens hand : but it’s our anniversary :(

[creativeemo07]

Philza: Look--Why can't you just see things from My Perspective?--

Tommy,(6'1): (Crouches down)I don't really see anything--

Wilbur,(6'5?): (Also Crouching down)Yeah,Same--

Wilbur: (Still Crouching down)What about you Techno?

Technoblade,(6'2-6'3): (Crouching down)Anddd I do not see anything--

Philza:

Tommy:

Wilbur:

Techno:

Philza:

Tommy:

Wilbur:

Techno:

Philza: (Proceeds to Take off one of his Sandals)

[waywardnajsepticeye]

Techno: Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.

Tubbo: I think you mean cards.

Tommy: He did not.

Techno, pulling out knives: I did not.

[starboyrockstar]

SBI INCORRECT QUOTES #2

Tommy, in his big man age of 17 after Phil told him that he can't burn school and call it self defence: IM LEAVING

the Uber driver that Phil called cause he didn't want Tommy to go around at night alone: okay????

[mantafizz]

Wilbur: Techno... did you just refer to a knife as a people opener?

Techno: should i not have?

[lemomnade]

The Dream SMP as stupid things my friends and I have said Part 1

(All taken from a document of funny moments with some actions or locations changed for dramatic flair)

—

Quackity: I’m not scared of him.

Technoblade: You should be.

Quackity: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Technoblade: I sleep with a knife in my hand.

—

Philza: I have gained monk-like patience from being on this SMP.

*Technoblade spawning wither noises*

Philza: I am like a god-level-kindergarten supervisor.

*Tommy screaming*

Philza, reaching for water bottle: Gimme my patience juice--

Wilbur: *presses button*

*cut to “It’s all gone!” and angst*

—

Philza: *Scooting away from Ranboo in his panic room* Ranboo, that makes it sound like you're in the maffia

—

Technoblade: Goose has become a sign of rebellion and anarchy. And considering the nature of Untitled Goose Game… it’s not wrong.

Technoblade, several minutes later after nearly staging a revolution on the SMP: The goose is a god that is to be worshipped. I am his priest.

—

Philza: What are you doing?

Wilbur, while sipping a red substance from a wine glass: Drinking.

Philza: What are you drinking?

Wilbur: Well, technically it’s out of date cranberry juice… but in a way, that makes it aged wine *sips*

—

Dream: Someone’s being rude. Do you need to go to Church Prime?

—

Philza: Are you okay?

Wilbur: I’mplayingacharacterthatsadomesticterroristandits SO FRICKIN GAY!!

Philza:

Wilbur: Roleplay stuff.

Philza: ...ah.

—

Tubbo: Wait, Alaska is connected to Canada? I thought it was an island!

Technoblade: *in a corner writing his evil agenda, desperately trying to spell terrorist correctly and failing*

—

Tommy: I’m mad at you.

Dream: Why?

Tommy: I had another dream.

Dream: *sighs* What did I do this time?

Tommy: You and Techno kidnapped Tubbo, took him to your house, and chopped his head off.

Technoblade: And you were laughing maniacally the whole time.

Tommy: Yeah.

Dream: Sounds fun. *to Technoblade* We should do that some time.

Technoblade, at the same time as Tommy: Yes!

Tommy, at the same time as Technoblade: NO!!

—

Philza, eating with Technoblade: So, what’d you do today?

Technoblade: Well, let’s just say politics suck and baguettes are not particularly useful for sword fighting.

Philza: *chokes*

—

Dream: *in a crab pose*

Tommy: *looks at him*

Dream: I am your demons.

Punz, half of the server following him, now behind Dream: And I am yours.

Dream: *leaps*

—

Eret: Do you want to hear my new philosophy?

Tubbo: ???

Eret: If I cannot be bisexual, then I shall be die-sexual.

Tubbo: *wheeze*

—

Dream: If a sacrifice needs to be made, I’m willing to have the children take the bullet.

The minors on the SMP: You’re always willing to have me take the bullet! And if there isn’t one, you shoot one at me!

—

Tommy: Dream’s not keeping his chestplate on and it’s making me mad.

—

Dream, writing the SMP: All the other SMPs are boring

Wilbur: This ones got some zest to it

Technoblade: *rubs his fingers together* Gotta love ze ZeSt~

—

Tommy: *is trying to kill Dream* I wanna smite this thing but I can’t HIT IT!

—

Video: *explains how a volcano can become extinct and never erupt again*

Tubbo: So volcanoes just die?

Tommy: Yeah, like Wilbur Soot.

—

Technoblade: *Hugs Ranboo*

Ranboo: Friendship!

Technoblade: Sure.

—

Technoblade: Let’s have cake for lunch!

Philza: We can’t do that.

Technoblade: Why? No one’s gonna stop us.

Philza: *gestures to government*

Technoblade: *pulls out wither skulls* Did I stutter?

—

Technoblade: *talking to the voices about Carl*

Tubbo: ???

Philza: In case you’re confused, Karl is also the name of his horse.

—