#sbi incorrect quotes

[kittycatcomander]

AU where SBI are villains, and Kristin is the villain wrangler making sure all the kids who get counseling in her office get a chance to meet who ever they want, even if they’re wanted dead by the hero commission.

Cue meet-cute(?) between Kristin and Phil, where she spends weeks tracking down the infamous “ Crowfather, killer of heroes and hater of the system” because some little kid wanted see him, and she stands tall and totally not terrified (/s) on a rooftop waiting for him.

And Phil is faced with this woman who spent hours and hours researching his routines not to arrest him but to let a little kid meet him, and he just falls for her.

So they exchange numbers, and everytime from there on out when Kristin has a kid who wants to meet The Blade or Orpheus or Nemesis she just casually shoots THE TOP VILLAIN a message, internally screaming, while Phil is kicking his feet on the air like a stereotypical teenager everytime his phone dings with a personalized ringtone.

Hero!Dream: I have finally confronted you, doer of evil! Today, our fight will be legend-

Crowfather!Phil: wait pause mate- OMG ITS HER 🥰🥰

Hero!Dream: wait wha-

Technoblade: I’ll take it from here

And so begins her getting really casual about the fact she personally texts the top villain.

I’m imagining some side stuff where she meets Tommy, a sidekick in desperate need of help (which she’s happy to provide), and a few others who’s relationship evolves with her over time.

Kirstin when first meeting the Blade: hooooooly smokes this guy is Dangerous, but if the kid wants to meet him… I’ll be prepared

Techno: uhhhhhh (struggling to interact with the receptionist, holds kids and swings them around gently like planes, lets them win fake fights)

Kristin: ok wait he’s like seven shaking puppies built like a brick house

She and Phil talk more and more as the arrangement continues, about everything and eventually life, and things shift from there. The first time that a villain tries hurting one of the kids also shifts their relationship…. especially since Kristin handles it as efficiently as she does.

There’s more, but in this AU I imagine Kristin to have a super dangerous power of her own (unregistered because teehee) that motivated her to work with troubled youth in need of help and kids working with a limited lifespan. I want her to be OP but just friendly and downplaying her ability since she was never in a situation to use it to the full extant.

Also there’d obviously be a CrimeBoys plot and adoption of Tommy into the family (bye bye Dream) which leads to her getting invited over to like. Family dinners and stuff, where the interactions are all completely cute and normal but undercut by her perspective reminding her of crimes they’ve all committed. Like-

“Phil, who had the most beautiful eyes but hands stained with the blood of approximately 3,791 people, passed her the salad with a bright smile. His son(?) continued the story of how he met a new friend. Kristin wasn’t sure if the story was in or out of masks, and she was scared to ask at this point.”

I especially want her to and Phil to reflect the two main approaches to changing the world, where you could either completely destroy the system in place (villains, anarchy) and forcefully restart, or you could tackle an issue at its lowest (if the world is full of corrupt people, change the people from a young age)

[starboyrockstar]

SBI INCORRECT QUOTES #3

Wilbur: I have the highest kiss count in the family

Techno: Maybe, but you don't have the highest kill count in the family

Tommy: IM A MINOR-

[gemsiiie]

sbi incorrect quotes but it’s things my friends said that are in MY QUOTE BOOK

—

*Wilbur and Tommy playing minecraft*

Wilbur: Who just spawned inside me??

Tommy: That’s what mothers say when they’re pregnant.

—

Tommy: Flamboyant. It’s gay water.

—

Techno: Looking dead inside is the best way to look.

—

Wilbur: Hey girl, if you were my god, i’d change religions 😎

[lunar-lover-writes15]

SBI RANDOM WRITE PART 2

Second part to the last tangent/story. TW SWEARING!

Technoblade: “Are you sure about this? Once this thing broadcasts, there’s no turning back.” (Talking about the video of Tommy stuck in a tree)

Wilbur: (evil look in his eyes) “That’s what I’m counting on.”

20 minutes later

Tommy: (yelling and opens the door) “WHAT THE FUCK WILBUR!! YOU POSTED THE DAMN VIDEO OF ME IN THE FUCKING TREE!?”

Wilbur: “BAHAHAHAHAA YES HAHAHAHA”

Tommy: “WHAT THE HELL!”

Philza: (standing in the doorway) “Payback for NOT LISTENING TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

Techno: “Yep, payback…plus it’s funny. It could go into a YouTube compilation.”

[disturbed-and-depressed]

Technoblade: Do you wanna know how I really hurt my wrist?

Tommy: Yes

Technoblade: I was hoola hooping. Philza, Y/n and I attended a class for fitness and fun.

Tommy: Oh my god

Technoblade: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.

Tommy: Why are you telling me this?

Technoblade: Because no one will ever believe you

Tommy: You sick son of a bitch

[nomsfaultau]

MFR Philza: the glass is half full! ^-^

MFR Wilbur: No the glass is half empty

MFR Techno: actually, the glass is fully of POISON because you guys are trying to DRUG ME AGAIN

MFR Tommy: oooo drugs! Gimmie!!!

Everyone else: NO-!

[non-binary-god-eclipse]

Philza: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a Burgle and you guys have to act wisely.

Tommy: Fine!

Wilbur: Ok

Technoblade: mh

Philza: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Tommy: bold of you to assume that I have money.

Wilbur: bold of you to assume that I don't want to die.

Technoblade: bold of you to assume that I can die.

Philza who's disappointed: you're not supposed to say that!

[average-vibe]

wilbur: do you think of the children before you speak?

tommy: what?

wilbur: the children. that need oxygen. to breathe. do you think of them before you waste oxygen speaking?

[xonoka]

I love incorrect quotes 😭

[tang0w0tek]

Phil: What, you wanted me to say no?

Phil: How can you say no to that face?

Phil: Look. *Holds Kid Tommy in front of them*

Phil: Try saying no to that face.

Kid Tommy: ^_^

Kid Wilbur, genuinely trying: …

Phil: That's what I thought.

[zhe-lazy-fox]

Tommy, Wilbur & Techno: *screaming*

Phil: *runs into the room* What's wrong, Techno?!

Tommy: Wait, why are you asking Techno that when Wilbur and I are also here?

Phil: Because Techno wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

[starboyrockstar]

SBI INCORRECT QUOTES #2

Tommy, in his big man age of 17 after Phil told him that he can't burn school and call it self defence: IM LEAVING

the Uber driver that Phil called cause he didn't want Tommy to go around at night alone: okay????

[munebat]

made a sbi apartment AU incorrect quote of my own since the anon has been doing it and I’m not disappointed

A!tommy: talking about C!ca’s funeral You do know we’re burying a great person today! A!wilbur, shocked: Did someone else die?

[lunar-lover-writes15]

Sbi Random Write

Idk what I’m doing alright. I just went off on a tangent/story that I thought was funny. TW SWEARING! Wilbur: “Hey, is that Tommy? And is he stuck in the fucking tree?” (Points to an upside down Tommy stuck in a tree)

Techno: “That we told him not to climb!?”

Tommy: “PHIIIL HELP!!”

Philza: “...Ah shit.”

Techno: “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Wilbur: (takes photo) “Hahaha I’m sending this to everyone!”

Tommy: “HEY I HEARD THAT!! DON’T YOU DARE WIL!!”

Techno: “Ughh let’s go Phil.”

Philza: “Fucking hell, WE’RE COMING TOMMY!! [whispers: wilbur film this please!]

Wilbur: “Mhm I got you.” (Starts filming)

Tommy: (Phil and Techno get him unstuck) “Thank you…AH!” (Falls on his face) “Oooow!! That huurt!”

Wilbur: “BAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!! I GOT THAT ON CAMERA HAHAHAHA!”

Techno: “We told you not to climb the tree WHY DID YOU CLIMB IT!?”

Tommy: “Techno! Have you met me!? If you tell me to not do something I’m gonna do it!”

Techno: “I…fair point…”

Philza: “There’s a reason why they invented Advil. It’s so I can manage my headaches because of you little shits!”

Techno: “Heey!”

Philza: “Except for Techno, he’s the exception.”

Tommy: “Favoritism much?”

Wilbur: “Shut up child!”

Tommy: “Really!?”

Philza, Techno, and Wilbur: “YES!”

[autistic-fandom-trash]

SBI incorrect quotes

Your prompt: Tommy: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling? Wilbur: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Techno? Techno: Probably “road work ahead”. Phil: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

Your prompt: Tommy: Wilbur isn’t answering their phone Techno: I’ll call Tommy: Phil and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi- Wilbur: Hello?

Your prompt: Tommy: *Gently taps table* Wilbur: *Taps back* Techno: What are they doing? Phil: Morse code. Tommy: *Aggressively taps table* Wilbur: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Your prompt: Tommy, setting down a card: Ace of spades Wilbur, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Techno, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Phil, trembling: What are we playing

Your prompt: Tommy, banging on the door: Wilbur! Open up! Wilbur: Well, it all started when I was a kid... Techno: No, they meant- Phil: Let them finish.

Your prompt: Tommy: *Screams* Wilbur: *Screams louder to assert dominance* Techno: Should we do something?! Phil, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

Your prompt: Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. Tommy: Shit. Wilbur: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Techno: OH MY GOD PHIL FELL OFF!!!

Your prompt: Tommy: Everyone, synchronize your watches. Wilbur: I don’t know how to do that. Techno: I don’t wear a watch. Phil: Time is a construct.

[nomsfaultau]

scp Tubbo who just lost they legs: ow

Philza: no no I can work with this. Have you tried blood letting?

Tommy: Tubbo doesn’t have blood??

Philza tosses his hands up in exasperation: well there’s your problem mate!