#sirius is tortured

[lulublack90]

Prompt 20 - Hurt/No Comfort

@wolfstarmicrofic July 20, word count 796

Part three of werewolf Sirius

Previous part First part

CW - Blood, torture, attack, cuts, bites

The wolves were all pretty subdued after the eventful night. Most were dozing and the rest were either eating or relaxing around the camp. Sirius was sitting beside Remus, tucking into a big bowl of that mystery stew. Remus was lazily running his fingers up and down his back. 

“Tell us how you got captured then,” Marcus suddenly said. “Remus won’t tell us your story, but now you’re here, and he isn’t being such a stroppy git, can we hear what happened?” Sirius turned to Remus.

“It’s up to you, sweetheart,” Remus told him gently. Sirius opened up his mind, deciding it would be easier to show the gathered wolves what happened than try to retell it. He closed his eyes and remembered that rainy night when he and Remus were supposed to be on an easy-guarding mission.

“Why does it always rain when it’s us?” Sirius grumbled as he shook his long hair. "It's always perfect weather when Potter's about," Remus sighed at him and produced two umbrellas from inside his robe. Sirius took it gratefully. But in the split second, the umbrella was blocking his view, as he opened it, they were ambushed. 

“Hello, cousin,” Bellatrix cackled as they were stunned. 

They awoke in a dungeon. 

“Remus?” Sirius croaked, “Remus?” A groan from the other corner let him know where his boyfriend was. He crawled over to him and checked he was alright. He had a swollen cheek, but that seemed to be about it. They held each other in the dark. 

Days passed and no one came. They were both getting nervous as the full moon was coming and Sirius had discovered they’d been given magic suppressants in the water that was sent to their cell every day. They stopped drinking, hoping the potion would pass through their systems before the moon rose. 

Sirius tried again and again to transform into Padfoot but nothing happened. Remus began to ache and stayed as far away from Sirius as the tiny space allowed. 

When Remus dropped to the floor and began to scream, Sirius banged on the door and shouted for help, but no one came. He tried to change into Padfoot right up until Remus stopped writhing around on the floor. He backed into the opposite corner and waited for the inevitable. 

The gigantic wolf shook out its fur and sniffed the air. Moony prowled forward, his teeth glistening in the small amount of light that made its way into the dungeon. The wolf didn’t even bother moving quickly, he taunted Sirius with how slowly he moved towards him. Moony shoved his massive nose into Sirius’s chest and sniffed. Sirius thought for a split second that maybe Moony recognised him and wouldn’t hurt him. But then the wolf lifted its enormous head, looked him straight in the eyes and bit down, hard. Sirius screamed, the pain was unbearable. 

He woke up alone, covered in his own blood. He pulled away his tattered shirt and assessed the damage beneath. Deep puncture wounds marred the skin around his shoulder. He knew what it meant, but he didn’t care, all he cared about was where Remus was.

Finally, after another week in the dungeons, Bellatrix appeared. 

“Bella, please, where’s Remus?” He begged her to tell him, but she just smiled her insane grin and cast the cruciatus curse on him over and over, leaving him once he passed out. She came down on the morning of the full moon and tortured him. His body was already in pain. She just laughed at him when he pleaded with her not to, not today. He didn’t last long, which must have pissed her off as she cast a slicing charm on him as well, and he woke to dozens of thin, itchy cuts all over his body. 

The moon rose and his first transformation started. It was hard. It hurt more than the bite had and way more than anything Bellatrix could ever do to him. His bones broke, his tendons snapped, and his blood felt like it was boiling inside his veins. He threw his head back and screamed until his voice gave out. He didn’t remember much after that, just a few snippets of pain and fear. 

The transformation back to his human form was just as painful. He was exhausted by the end of it. He curled up into a ball and wept. 

He ended the story there, putting his walls back up and walked away from the camp, needing a moment to collect himself. It was even harder reliving those hard months below Lestrange castle. Tears dripped down his face and onto the dusty ground below. He didn’t want to be here any more, but he felt that leaving wasn’t an option for him either. 

Next part

[remusgirlie]

"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me"

[doodlemcjazzhands]

[messervixen]

“The Black Dog”

“The Prophecy”

“Peter”

Okay Taylor that’s enough feeding the theories for one day-

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

Guilty as Sin?

James Potter x f!reader (mentioned), Remus Lupin x f!reader

warnings: smut, protected p in v, lots of descriptions of what ifs (you’ll understand with the song), underage smoking, if you squint it may just be cheating but oh well, this is so good to me

summary: someone once told you, there’s no such thing as bad thoughts… right?

word count: 3k

a/n: i’m in love with this song from taylor’s new album!!! sorry if this characterization isn’t what you like but this concept has been eating me alive. i love remus tho. might be a part two if you guys want !!!

part two is here!!

~~~

Drowning in the Blue Nile

He sent me “Downtown Lights”

I hadn’t heard it in a while

~~~

“Oi y/n!”

You turned on your heels at the sound of your name being called. Down the hallway, you could see James Potter striding toward you. Despite the bodies of other students that filled the hall, you could see he was holding something in his hand. It looked big, and as he came closer and closer you could see more and more of what it was.

“Hello James, something I can help you with?” You asked once he was close enough to hear your normal tone. You looked down at his hands, you could see what he was holding clearly, it was a record. And from the cover of it, it looked to be a muggle one. “What’s that?”

James smiled his intoxicating smile and held the record up. “Something for you.”

You gasped and one of your hands moved up to cover your mouth. In his hands, he held the latest album of your favorite singer, Heroes by David Bowie. It had come out in October, and every time you searched for it, it was sold out. You traced your eyes over the beautiful shining black and white cover, you were practically speechless.

“How did you- when did you- James...”

“I have my ways, don’t worry about it,” the black-haired boy replied with a small laugh.

“It’s not close enough to be a Christmas gift, and you know my birthday isn’t till spring,” you observed out loud. Your eyes met his again and you blinked. “So, what’s this for?”

He shrugged. “For the past few weeks, I haven’t been the only one to take notice of how much you’ve been playing Bowie in the common room. And I heard you talking to Moony about how you haven’t got the new album yet... so here it is.”

He held it out to you and with delicate hands, you accepted the gift, still amazed. “James, you didn’t have to.”

“I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to,” he said as he ran a hand through his hair. “I’m surprised Moony didn’t already get it for you.”

“Yeah...” You looked down for a moment before meeting his eyes again, and you smiled. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Play it tonight, put it to use. Anyway, I’ve got to run, I’m supposed to be helping Peter with his Charms homework. See you at dinner.”

He gave you another smile before turning and walking back the way he came. You were too preoccupied with the flawless record in your hands to say goodbye. For a split second, you felt your heart flutter with a feeling you knew you shouldn’t have felt. So, you pushed it away and restarted your walk to the dungeons.

You knew better than to let those thoughts linger in the open hallway.

~~~

My boredom’s bone-deep

This cage was once just fine

Am I allowed to cry?

~~~

“James got that for you?”

You had just put the record on, and the sound of David Bowie's voice began to fill the Gryffindor common room. Your cheeks almost hurt from how much you’d been smiling. On one of the couches, your boyfriend Remus sat, his typical book in his lap. You turned and flung yourself on the open spot next to him, nodding your head to the beat of the song.

“Yeah, he gave it to me earlier, isn’t it wonderful?”

Remus nodded; his eyes locked on his book. “It’s definitely something.”

You rolled your eyes. “You like Bowie too last I checked.”

“You play him so much I’m surprised not everyone likes him,” Remus replied. Suddenly he shut his book and turned his head to look at you. For a split second, you felt hope that he was going to just listen with you. But of course, that wasn’t the case. Instead, he rose from the couch. “I can’t concentrate with it playing, I’m going to go read in my dorm.”

“But we barely spend any time together Rem, unless it’s a shag,” you protested, anger suddenly taking you over. “When’s the last time we went on a proper date? Or anything at all? I’m so bored of this.”

Remus as usual, kept his composer and showed no sign of any emotion. “If you’re so bored you’re welcome to leave me.”

“You know that’s not what I want,” you said.

“Then I’m not sure what to tell you. You’re welcome to join me, you know where to find me.”

He left before you could say anything else.

You ran your hands over your face in frustration. How did your relationship come to this? You started dating Remus in fifth year, and it had been the happiest moment of your life. He was your first love, the boy you shared almost all of your firsts with actually. You loved him more than anyone, yet it never seemed to be enough. So, you began to give up.

After all, it was your last year at Hogwarts, after it ended, you’d never have to see him again. Because really, was so much pain worth a moment of happiness? You didn’t believe so anymore.

Instead of following him up to his dorm as you would have the year prior, you simply laid back on the couch and enjoyed the first listen of the album.

~~~

I dream of cracking locks

Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks

Crashing into him tonight, he’s a paradox

I’m seeing visions, am I bad?

Or mad? Or wise?

~~~

The first time you ever thought of James in the way you knew you shouldn’t be was about a year into your relationship with Remus. After he had begun his distant behavior, his cold manners, and all those awful things. Previously, you had only ever felt attracted to the one Marauder. You saw Peter as a sweet little brother, you saw Sirius as an older annoying brother, and you saw James as well, a friend. That was until one late December night.

You and Remus had one of your arguments and you went outside for a smoke to help with your anxiety. For a few minutes, you sat in silence, the cold air and smoke in your lungs a great distraction from the boiling fears that consumed your mind. You were afraid to lose Remus. More than afraid. So, you inhaled a deep puff of the cigarette to focus on something else.

“You’ll catch a cold out here you know.”

You jumped at the sudden sound of a voice. James sat next to you, and you were perplexed at how he managed to sneak into the spot so quietly. You were also confused as to why he was there in the first place.

“If that’s the case then why are you out here?” You questioned as you let out a cloud of smoke.

He held up his hand and you passed it to him. “I had a... date anyway Filtch was in the corridor, so I ran out here. I doubt he followed, he and Mrs. Norris hate this time of year.” He inhaled a deep breath and passed the cigarette back to you. “Why are you out here?”

“A date? Is that what they call a shag now?” You laughed for a few seconds before your frown resurfaced. “Remus and I had a disagreement. We both said some nasty things, I needed to clear my head.”

“Ah, lovers quarrel. Are you all right? Remus can say some pretty nasty things when he’s mad,” James said as he pushed his glasses back up his nose.

You stared at him in silence for a moment. Never before had you realized how attractive he really was. Sirius was known to be the most attractive of the Marauders, but his crude personality, at least in your opinion, always outshined his natural features. James, however, since the start of sixth year, had matured. That meant he was no longer solely physically attractive; he also had an attractive personality. He was funny, caring, outgoing, and a leader. And of course, he was six feet tall with curly black hair and a perfect smile. Who wouldn’t be attracted to that?

You swallowed away the tingly feeling that shot through your fingers as you passed him the cigarette again.

He’s your boyfriend's best mate, stop thinking like that. You thought to yourself.

But as you watched him exhale another breath of smoke you couldn’t stop yourself from thinking about how his perfect lips would feel against yours.

“I’m sure you two will make up by the end of the night, he really loves you,” he spoke. His eyes caught yours, you could see the small smirk on his all too good-looking lips. “Who wouldn’t fancy a girl like you anyway?”

“A lot of guys actually,” you responded.

His hazel eyes were practically glowing. “They’re blokes. Have you seen yourself y/n? You’re pretty, smart, funny, and you have a fascinating music taste. And anything Remus might’ve said to make you feel less than perfect well... he didn’t mean it. Trust me, that wouldn’t be possible.”

You laughed. “What? Me being less than perfect or Remus meaning what he said?”

“Both,” James answered.

He must’ve felt it too. That pull. You almost considered moving closer to him, but before you could make the decision James stood. You were relieved, the spell was broken. Your senses came back. You shouldn’t have even thought about what it would feel like to kiss James Potter.

“Let’s get back up to the tower, it’s pretty fucking cold,” he said.

You only nodded and threw your cigarette to the ground, crushing it with your sneaker after you stood. “All right.”

The two of you walked back up silently and you were greeted by an apologetic Remus. As he held you in his arms though, all you could think about were the thoughts you had previously thought.

~~~

What if he’s written “mine” on my upper thigh only in my mind?

One slip and falling back into the hedge maze

Oh, what a way to die

My bedsheets are ablaze, I’ve screamed his name

Building up like waves crashing over my grave

~~~

You gripped the red sheets of Remus’s bed so hard your knuckles turned white. Your breathing was heavy and unsteady. You tried to lean your head up to kiss him, but he wasn’t paying attention. It was something you’d grown used to. He liked to fuck you hard, not soft, not lovingly. No. He liked it intensely. You did too, but you also liked being gently taken care of.

Too bad he didn’t enjoy that anymore.

“Rem I-”

“I’m- almost done.” He cut you off, his breathless voice which once made you squirm now made you angry.

It was despicable, it was so wrong. And yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from doing it.

You closed your eyes and began to imagine someone else on top of you. Instantly, you felt a rush of heat to your cheeks at the picture in your mind. He would be so much more careful, and considerate. You’d heard from many girls how good of a lover he was. All of them would dote on how much he liked pleasing them. With his fingers, his mouth, and his...

You tried to squeeze your thighs together.

You should’ve stopped, you knew that. But your mind kept going.

You pictured him on top of you. His curls would be so soft. His hands would be callused from Quidditch. He’d use them on you, make you cum over and over again. You imagined how he’d curl his fingers so perfectly inside you.

“That’s it, my perfect girl,” he’d whisper to you as he went on with it. “You’re so good for me, aren’t you?”

Suddenly, without warning, you felt yourself reach a peak you hadn’t reached in a while. You squeezed your eyes shut and came at the thought of how good James Potter's praises would make you feel.

When Remus was done, he lay next to you on the bed breathless. “You came?”

You only stared at the top of his bed. “Yeah.”

~~~

These fatal fantasies

Giving way to labored breath, takin all of me

We’ve already done it in my head

If it’s make-believe

Why does it feel like a vow we’ll both uphold somehow?

~~~

There was something so exhilarating about being around James. Especially when the two of you were alone. It was as though every time the two of you had a moment alone, he gave you another reason to keep your fantasies going. Often, it made you wonder if he knew of your terrible thoughts.

The two of you sat by the black lake, the rest of your friends were further away playing a game of football. It was funny watching Lily get frustrated trying to explain the rules to Sirius, but it was even funnier when James commented on it from beside you.

“Oh no, he picked it up again. Evans is almost turning as red as her hair, I worry for her health,” the boy with glasses joked.

You snorted. “She’s going to have a heart attack from that boy mark my words.”

“I believe that. ‘Suppose it’s a good thing she’s thinking about becoming a Healer,” he replied.

You threw your head back as you laughed, one of your hands flying up to grip James’s arm. After a few seconds though, you composed yourself and pulled your hand off him as though it had been burned. Your eyes immediately found Remus across the field. He paid you no mind.

“Y/n can I ask you something a little personal?” James asked.

Your eyes met his and you didn’t hesitate to nod. “Sure.”

“You and Remus, things aren’t good between the two of you.”

“What gave that away?” You faked a smile. “But that’s not a question love.”

He really smiled. “I know. Sorry. My question was why are you still with him if things between the two of you are like this? I understand being in love, Merlin I tried to get Evans to go out with me for ages. But you and Moony... You used to be in our room all the time, you guys used to be so happy and I dunno around each other. Do you guys even go out anymore? I haven’t seen a snog between the two of you in a while.”

You inhaled a deep breath, your attention moving to the blade of grass between your fingers. “I suppose I’m afraid.”

“Afraid?”

“Yes, afraid. Rem he- he's my first everything and I dunno. If we broke up the friend group would be torn, and everything would be complicated. I suppose it’s just easier this way,” you answered. You hadn’t been this honest about how you felt in a long time. It felt good. And it felt even better when you caught James’s caring eyes.

“Do you love him?”

His question caught you off guard. “I did. I still think I do.”

You watched him look across the field for a few seconds before he did something you never would’ve expected. Ever so gently, he placed his hand over yours on the grass. All you could do was stare wildly into his eyes. Was this supposed to make your heart race and your face red?

“I care about you y/n, and I care about Remus as well. I want what’s best for both of you and if I’m being honest, I don’t think that’s with each other,” he said softly.

“Have you said this to him then?” You questioned, you found it hard to breathe with the feeling of his rough hand on yours.

James nodded. “Of course I have. He doesn’t like advice that much though.”

“He really doesn’t does he?” You mumbled.

“No, he doesn’t. But either of you can talk to me about anything. You know that right? You don’t have to be afraid of anything y/n. Even if you do break up I’ll be here for you, you won’t be alone. Course you have Lily and Mary and Marlene as well but...” You watched his face change as he trailed off. “I dunno. I thought it would be different with me.”

“Different?” You held your breath. “How so?”

His thumb moved across your skin; you bit down on your lip.

“You know...” he trailed off again, his voice quieter than before.

All you could think about was how good it would feel to pounce on top of him and kiss him till you couldn’t breathe. You’d do it, even out there in the open. You imagined how intense and fast it would be. A few minutes at most but a lifetime of pleasure no doubt. He’d make you feel things you hadn’t felt in ages, he’d do whatever you asked. That’s just the person he was.

“James, you don’t even know the half of it,” you admitted softly.

“Love, I think I do.”

You could’ve fainted right then and there. His eyes were so mesmerizing, his voice sent goosebumps all over your body. It was terrible, despicable, and tragic. But oh, how fucking good it felt to be seen again. And as it seemed, James really saw you.

“James we can’t-”

“We aren’t doing anything.” He leaned closer to you. “And besides there’s no such thing as bad thoughts. Only your actions talk.”

“So you-”

“Yes, yes I do.”

“James...”

“I know I must sound like a god-awful prat but believe me I don’t want the two of you to break up so we can... No. I want you two to break up because both of you are miserable. And I do really care about the both of you, you’re my mates.” He explained quickly.

You turned back to the field and saw Remus slowly approaching. Without thinking you ripped your hand away from James’s as fast as you could and stood up. You took a few deep breaths before you looked down at James.

“If Remus and I do break up, I want you to know it’s not because of... all right?”

“All right.” He nodded.

“Good,” you said before turning and making your way out to Remus.

You knew what he wanted to do, and you would oblige.

You had about ten thousand more fantasies to think of during it anyway.

[letraspal]

You said you were gonna grow up,

then you were gonna come find me.

[anythingformessrmoony]

can’t wait for all the new marauders fic titles to come from ttpd

[lilys-trophy-wife]

i think one of the best things that will come of taylor swift’s new album is all the soul-crushing, gut-wrenching, life-shattering marauders edits we will surely receive

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Not to be a bitch or anything but I feel like the marauders fandom is losing their flavor and sense of whimsy

Like maybe it's bc it was a new sparkling thing for me to enjoy but I feel like before I had stumbled into a room with everyone sitting in a circle with their monster high dolls out and like sharing clothes and they were like "hey have you seen these two guys in the Harry Potter movies? Yeah well they kiss now wanna play with us?" And then I went and sat down with them and it was all gravy and there were so many new characters to relate to and put in different scenarios and it was so fun bc like everyone was just like little bottom dwelling queers with raccoons as their role models like "actually so I think Sirius is genderfluid what do we think?" And the crowd went wild

and now its like all white characters with no flavor and people are like "guys James Potter is a swiftie" and "Taylor Swift wrote all the young dudes" and "Sirius black is manly and I hate the way you twinked him it's so unrealistic" and "Jily is the only acceptable ship bc jegulus nor regulily wouldn't have happened" and it's just like when the annoying kid in your class goes "no I'm tired of you guys they're my friend now" and then sits next to you and pretends to be asking you genuine questions all while glancing over at their friends and its like we spent all this time playing with our monster high dolls and diy-ing their outfits and made our doll houses out of shoeboxes and these guys come in here and start stomping on all our toys and bringing in their two story barbie house

Basically it used to feel like playing with monster high dolls with all my cool monster high doll friends and now I feel like everyone is playing with Barbies and I miss our MOTHER FREAKING CARDBOARD DOLL HOUSE

Anyways going to get back to writing rosekiller smut

[yourlocalbadgerscales]

James Potter not being able to hide his bewilderment when he sees that baby Harry has inherited his mother’s green eyes… James Potter skipping around the house, his and Sirius’s voices draining each other as they stand together looking down at the new member of the Potter family sleeping tightly, their eyes shining and mouths running….

James Potter, who never lived long enough to learn that Harry also inherited his mother’s sarcasm, her humour…

Harry James Potter, who inherited Lily’s gaze, that look in his eyes… like he was older than his age… Harry Potter, who inherited Lily’s desperate need to prove herself, Lily’s posture, the way Lily wrote her g’s… Harry, who inherited not only traits from his mother, but also traits from his father.

Harry with his father’s messy hair, Harry who bounces his leg when he’s stressed and ruffles his hair when he’s nervous, unlike his father who ruffled it to impress girls. Harry with a glimpse of his father’s mischievousness in his Lily eyes. Harry who talks in his sleep like his father, Harry with dimples like his father, Harry with poor eyesight like his father.

It’s all a mess of Lily (can’t function properly under stress), James (showers in cold water)… and Harry himself (short temper). Because if it’s something so many people seem to forget about him, which always pisses him off, is that Harry is his own person too.

He loves Treacle Tart, he has his own awkward little laugh, he can’t control his face, he bites his nails when studying, he loves strong smells, and that’s all him. Just… him.

And what Sirius never got to tell him, is that: if people would try to look past the way his parents are still with him in his eyes, behind his smile and in his heart… they would see a wonderful young boy. So much more than what his parents ever made him. Harry raised himself. Harry grew up to be his own.

But Sirius never got to tell him that, just like he never got to tell him that he had Remus’s awkward flush, Sirius’s shit-eating grin, Dorcas’s frustrated resting face, Regulus’s unbothered expression when he was locked into his own little shell… traits that were Mary’s, Marlene’s, James’s, Lily’s, and most importantly Harry’s own.

Sirius never even learnt if these were things Harry would have liked to hear.

[outromoony]

Regulus "let it once be me." Black and Sirius "Why always me?" Black.

[imthebadguyyy]

loml

pairing : james potter x reader

fandom : marauders

series : the tortured poets department

synopsis : james is the love and loss of your life.

a/n : hope you enjoy!!

who's gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?...

seventh year

The Great Hall was buzzing with the usual lunchtime chatter. Students from all four houses mingled, their laughter and conversation filling the vast space. Plates clattered, and goblets clinked, but you barely noticed. Your eyes were fixed on a spot in the middle of the table, your thoughts miles away.

You could still remember the first time James had pulled you out into the rain.

fifth year

It had been a warm spring evening, the sky darkening with ominous clouds. You were supposed to be studying for a Potions exam, but James had other plans. With that mischievous glint in his hazel eyes, he had taken your hand and led you outside.

"What are we doing, James?" you had asked, half-laughing, half-exasperated.

"Dancing," he had replied simply, and with a dramatic bow, he had pulled you into a waltz right there on the soggy grass. The rain had poured down, drenching you both, but you hadn’t cared. You had twirled and laughed, your wet hair plastered to your face, his glasses fogging up. It had been pure, unfiltered joy.

“Y/N? Hey, Y/N!” Marlene’s voice snapped you out of your reverie. You blinked and looked around, suddenly aware of your surroundings again. The Great Hall, the noise, the chatter – it all came rushing back.

“Huh? What?” you said, shaking your head slightly as if to clear it.

“You were miles away,” Marlene said, her brow furrowed in concern. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, just…thinking,” you replied, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

Marlene studied you for a moment, then glanced over her shoulder. “Thinking about James?” she asked quietly.

You didn’t respond, but your silence spoke volumes. Marlene sighed and scooted closer to you, lowering her voice. “Y/N, you know it’s okay to still have feelings for him, right?”

“I don’t…” you started, but Marlene cut you off with a knowing look.

“Don’t lie to me. I’ve seen the way you look at him. And I saw how he looked at you when he walked in just now.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you couldn’t help but glance over to where the Marauders were sitting. James was laughing at something Sirius had said, his head thrown back in pure amusement. For a moment, your heart ached with the memory of his laughter mingling with the sound of rain.

“Whose gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?” Marlene said softly, echoing the words you had once whispered to her in confidence.

You swallowed hard, feeling a lump form in your throat. “It’s not that simple, Marlene. Things are different now.”

“Different how? You’re both still the same people. And I’ve seen the way he looks at you – like he’s lost without you.”

You shook your head. “We’ve both moved on. He’s with Lily now.”

“Are you sure about that?” Marlene asked gently. “Because from where I’m sitting, it looks like he’s just as lost as you are.”

You looked at James again, your heart aching. Could it be true? Could there still be a chance for the two of you? The memory of dancing in the rain was still vivid, a symbol of the love you had once shared. Maybe Marlene was right. Maybe it wasn’t too late to find your way back to each other.

Marlene squeezed your hand, giving you a small, encouraging smile. “Talk to him, Y/N. You owe it to yourself to find out.”

You nodded slowly, determination building within you. It was time to stop daydreaming and start living. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance to dance with James in the rain once more.

if you know it in one glance, it's legendary...

first year

James Potter stood on Platform 9 ¾, his eyes scanning the bustling crowd of students and parents. It was his first year at Hogwarts, and excitement coursed through his veins. He had already met Sirius Black, a boy with an equally mischievous glint in his eye, and they had quickly become fast friends. But as he looked around, his attention was suddenly captured by a girl standing a few feet away, saying goodbye to her parents.

She had an air of quiet confidence, her hair catching the sunlight in a way that made it seem to glow. She laughed at something her mother said, the sound clear and bright amidst the chaos of the platform. James couldn’t look away.

“If you know it in one glance, it’s legendary,” his father had once told him, speaking of love and destiny. James had scoffed at the time, but now he wondered if his father had been right. He didn’t even know her name, but he felt a pull towards her, something deep and inexplicable.

He was still staring when Sirius elbowed him in the ribs. “Oi, James, what’s got you so spellbound?”

James blinked, tearing his gaze away from the girl. “Nothing, just…looking around.”

Sirius followed his line of sight and smirked. “Ah, I see. Got your eye on someone already, eh?”

James felt his cheeks heat up. “Shut up, Sirius.”

The whistle of the train interrupted their banter, and students began boarding. James watched as the girl hugged her parents one last time before picking up her trunk and heading towards the train. On an impulse, he moved closer, wanting to catch her name.

“Do you need help with that?” he asked, stepping up and offering a hand.

She looked up at him, her eyes meeting his, and for a moment, James felt the world narrow down to just the two of them. “Thanks,” she said with a smile that made his heart race. “I’m Y/N.”

“James,” he replied, struggling to keep his voice steady. “James Potter.”

“Nice to meet you, James Potter,” she said, her smile widening. And just like that, she was gone, disappearing into the crowd of students boarding the train.

James stood there for a moment, staring after her, before Sirius dragged him onto the train.

Years later, James sat in the Gryffindor common room, the fire crackling softly in the hearth. Lily Evans sat beside him, her head resting on his shoulder as they talked quietly. He loved Lily – he knew that. She was brilliant, brave, and kind, everything he admired in a person. But sometimes, he found his thoughts drifting back to that moment on the platform, to the girl with the glowing hair and the infectious laugh.

“If you know it in one glance, it’s legendary,” his father’s words echoed in his mind, and he felt a pang of doubt.

“What’s on your mind, James?” Lily asked, sensing his distraction.

He looked at her, guilt washing over him. “Just thinking about old times,” he said, forcing a smile.

Lily reached up to touch his face gently. “You’re always thinking, aren’t you?”

James chuckled softly. “Yeah, I suppose I am.”

As Lily continued to talk, James tried to push the memories away. He had chosen Lily, and he loved her. But deep down, he couldn’t shake the feeling that there was a part of him that would always be tied to that moment on the platform, to Y/N, and the way she had made him feel with just one glance.

in your suit and tie, in the nick of time...

Fifth Year

The Great Hall was buzzing with the usual Friday evening chatter, but tonight, there was a different kind of excitement in the air. James Potter, notorious for his messy hair and casual demeanor, stood nervously by the Gryffindor common room entrance, dressed in a sharp suit and tie. His friends, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, were nearby, watching with amusement as James fidgeted with his cuffs.

"You look great, Prongs," Remus said with a reassuring smile. "Relax, she's going to love it."

James adjusted his tie one more time and took a deep breath. "Thanks, Moony. I just want everything to be perfect."

Sirius grinned, nudging James playfully. "Don't worry, mate. Just remember to breathe and don't trip over your own feet."

James shot him a look but couldn't suppress a smile. "Thanks, Padfoot."

Just then, the common room door swung open, and you stepped out. James's breath hitched as he saw you in a beautiful dress, your eyes lighting up when you saw him.

"Hi, James," you said softly, blushing.

"Hi," he replied, equally bashful. "You look... amazing."

"So do you," you responded, your eyes sparkling with excitement.

James offered you his arm, and together you walked out of the castle, heading to a secret spot he had found—a cozy clearing in the Forbidden Forest, magically lit with floating lanterns and enchanted music. It was the perfect place for a dance.

As you both swayed to the music, James couldn't take his eyes off you. You giggled when he spun you around, and your laughter was infectious. You were both so wrapped up in the moment that you didn't notice Remus sneaking up with a Polaroid camera.

"Smile!" Remus called out, snapping a picture just as you and James looked over, caught mid-laugh, your faces glowing with happiness.

Sirius's voice rang out from behind, "Look at the lovebirds! Don’t get too carried away, Prongs."

James rolled his eyes but couldn't wipe the grin off his face. "Shut it, Padfoot."

You and James shared a knowing look, the teasing only adding to the magic of the evening.

Seventh Year

James Potter sat on his bed in the seventh-year boys' dormitory, the chaos of the day swirling around him. His eyes were fixed on a worn Polaroid photo he held gently in his hands. It was the picture Remus had taken that night two years ago, the night of your first dance.

In the photo, you and James were laughing, so clearly in love that it was almost tangible. James traced your smiling face with his thumb, a soft smile playing on his lips.

"Still staring at that old thing?" Sirius's voice broke through his reverie.

James looked up to see Sirius leaning against the doorframe, a knowing smirk on his face. "Yeah," James admitted, "I can't help it. That was one of the best nights of my life."

Sirius walked over and sat next to him, peering at the photo. "You two were adorable."

James nodded, his thoughts momentarily lost in the memory.

Sirius glanced at him, a more serious look in his eyes. "James, are you sure you didn't make a mistake?"

James looked up sharply, his brow furrowing. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you and her were great together," Sirius said softly. "You loved her."

James sighed, his eyes drifting back to the photo. "I know, Sirius. But things changed. We grew apart. And now... now I'm with Lily."

Sirius leaned back, considering his friend's words. "Do you love Lily?"

James hesitated, his gaze fixed on the Polaroid. "Yeah, I do. It's just... it's different."

"Different how?" Sirius pressed gently.

James struggled to find the right words. "With her, it was easy. Natural. With Lily, it's... more complicated. But that doesn't mean it's not real."

Sirius nodded slowly. "Alright, then. As long as you're sure."

James slipped the photo into his pocket, standing up. "I am. I think."

Sirius clapped James on the shoulder. "Just make sure to keep making new memories, mate. Don't get stuck in the past."

James nodded, feeling a mix of nostalgia and uncertainty. He knew his past with you would always be a part of him, but he was determined to give his relationship with Lily his all. As he headed out to find Lily, he couldn't shake the lingering doubt, but he resolved to move forward, hoping to create even more unforgettable moments.

you said I'm the love of your life...

sixth year

The stars twinkled brightly above as you and James lay on a blanket in the Astronomy Tower, the cool night air filled with the scent of blooming flowers from the grounds below. It was a perfect night, far away from the chaos of school and the looming threat of exams. You had a small box of chocolate-covered strawberries between you, a treat James had managed to sneak past the house-elves.

James looked over at you, his eyes reflecting the starlight. "This is perfect," he murmured, a soft smile playing on his lips.

You picked up a strawberry, the chocolate glistening in the moonlight, and gently held it to his lips. He took a bite, closing his eyes in delight. "Delicious," he said, his voice filled with contentment.

You giggled, feeding him another piece. "I'm glad you like it."

As you continued to feed him the sweet treats, James reached out and took your hand, his fingers intertwining with yours. "You know," he began softly, "I've been thinking a lot lately."

You raised an eyebrow, curious. "Oh? About what?"

James's gaze was intense, filled with a mixture of nervousness and determination. "About you. About us."

Your heart skipped a beat. "What about us?"

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "You mean everything to me. More than Quidditch, more than anything else at Hogwarts. I... I love you."

Your breath caught in your throat as you stared at him, his words hanging in the air like a sweet melody. "James..."

He squeezed your hand, his voice steady and sincere. "You’re the love of my life. I can’t imagine a future without you in it."

Tears welled up in your eyes, but they were tears of happiness. "I love you too, James. So much."

He pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you as you both lay there, the stars above and the world below seeming to fade away. In that moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you and the love you shared.

As you fed him another strawberry, your heart swelled with joy and contentment. James Potter, with his messy hair and mischievous grin, had captured your heart completely, and you knew without a doubt that you were his, just as much as he was yours.

seventh year

The halls of Hogwarts were quieter than usual as you made your way to the Gryffindor common room. It had been a long day, and you were looking forward to relaxing by the fire. As you approached the entrance, you noticed the door slightly ajar and heard voices inside.

Curiosity piqued, you peeked through the crack and saw James and Lily standing by the fireplace. Your heart clenched. You and James had broken up a few months ago, and though you were trying to move on, it was still hard seeing him.

James's voice was soft, almost tender. "Lily, there's something I need to tell you."

Lily looked up at him, her green eyes curious and a bit nervous. "What is it, James?"

He took a deep breath, his usual confidence replaced by a vulnerability you rarely saw. "I've liked you for a long time, but it's more than that now. I love you, Lily. I think I always have."

Your breath caught in your throat, and you took an involuntary step back. The pain was sharp and immediate, like a dagger to the heart. You knew things had changed between you and James, but hearing him say those words to someone else was harder than you had imagined.

Lily looked stunned, her cheeks flushing a delicate pink. "James, I... I don't know what to say."

He reached out, gently taking her hand in his. "You don't have to say anything right now. I just needed you to know."

Unable to bear any more, you turned and walked away, your footsteps echoing in the empty hallway. Each step felt heavier than the last, the weight of his words pressing down on you.

Reaching an empty classroom, you slipped inside and leaned against the wall, struggling to hold back tears. The memories of your time with James flooded your mind—your first dance, the laughter, the love you once shared.

It was over now. He had moved on, and you knew you had to do the same. But in that moment, the pain was raw and real, and you allowed yourself to feel it, if only for a little while.

mr steal your girl, and make her cry..

The Gryffindor common room was buzzing with excitement. James and Lily had called everyone together for an announcement, and the atmosphere was charged with anticipation. You stood near the back, feeling a mixture of curiosity and unease. You had your suspicions about what the announcement might be, but you tried to push those thoughts aside.

James and Lily stood by the fireplace, hands intertwined, both beaming with happiness. James cleared his throat, and the room fell silent.

"We have some exciting news to share," James began, his eyes shining as he looked at Lily. "Lily and I are getting engaged!"

The room erupted into cheers and applause. You forced a smile, clapping along with everyone else. You made your way through the crowd to offer your congratulations.

"Congratulations, James. Lily. I'm really happy for you both," you said, your voice steady despite the ache in your chest.

James smiled warmly at you. "Thanks. It means a lot."

Lily hugged you, her happiness radiating from her. "Thank you. We're so excited."

You nodded, the smile still fixed on your face. "You both deserve all the happiness in the world."

After a few more words, you excused yourself, claiming you needed some fresh air. You slipped out of the common room and wandered the halls, your heart growing heavier with each step. You found yourself outside an empty classroom and ducked inside, your composure finally breaking.

A few moments later, the door creaked open, and Remus and Sirius walked in. They had seen you leave and had followed, concern etched on their faces.

"Hey," Remus said gently, his voice full of empathy. "Are you okay?"

The tears you had been holding back began to flow, and you shook your head. "No, I'm not."

Sirius moved closer, his usual playful demeanor replaced with genuine concern. "Come here," he said softly, pulling you into a hug.

You collapsed into their arms, sobbing uncontrollably. The weight of everything—your broken relationship with James, seeing him so happy with Lily, and the future you had once imagined now completely out of reach—came crashing down on you.

Remus held you tightly, his voice soothing. "It's okay to feel this way. Let it out."

Sirius rested his chin on your head, whispering softly, "I'm sorry, love. Sometimes it feels like life's just Mr. Steal-Your-Girl-And-Make-Her-Cry."

Despite the tears, you let out a small, bitter laugh at Sirius's words. They stayed with you, offering comfort and support as you slowly began to gather yourself.

"It's going to be okay," Remus said, his voice steady. "We're here for you. Always."

You nodded, grateful for their friendship and support. Though the pain was still there, you knew you weren't alone. With Remus and Sirius by your side, you felt a glimmer of hope that you would find the strength to move forward.

you shit talked me under the table, talking rings and talking cradles..

Sixth Year

The Great Hall was transformed for the Halloween feast, filled with floating pumpkins, flickering candles, and enchanted bats swooping around the ceiling. The atmosphere was lively, with students chatting and laughing as they enjoyed the festivities. You and James sat side by side at the Gryffindor table, the warmth of his presence making the evening even more special.

Under the table, your hands were intertwined, a secret connection amidst the public celebration. James squeezed your hand gently, drawing your attention away from the decorations and back to him. He had that familiar mischievous twinkle in his eyes, but there was something deeper, more serious, behind it tonight.

As you reached for a goblet of pumpkin juice, James deftly took your other hand and slipped the ring from your middle finger. Your heart skipped a beat as he held your gaze, his touch sending shivers down your spine. He carefully placed the ring on your ring finger, his movements slow and deliberate.

"James?" you whispered, a mixture of curiosity and excitement in your voice.

He lifted your hand to his lips and kissed it tenderly, his eyes never leaving yours. "I can't wait to marry you and have a family with you," he said softly, his voice filled with sincerity and love.

Your breath caught in your throat, tears of joy welling up in your eyes. "James, I..."

He smiled, his expression tender. "I know we're still young, but I can't imagine my life without you. You're everything to me."

You felt a rush of emotions—love, happiness, and a deep sense of connection with the boy sitting next to you. "I love you, James. More than anything."

He leaned in, brushing a soft kiss against your lips, the world around you fading away as you shared that intimate moment. The noise of the feast, the laughter of your friends, and the decorations all seemed distant compared to the warmth and love you felt for each other.

As the evening continued, you couldn't help but glance at the ring now adorning your ring finger. It was a simple gesture, but it symbolized a promise—a future filled with love, commitment, and the dreams you and James shared. Holding hands under the table, you both knew that this was just the beginning of a beautiful journey together.

years later...

The cozy cottage in Godric's Hollow was filled with the soft coos and occasional cries of a newborn. You stood at the doorstep, a mix of anticipation and nerves swirling inside you. You hadn't seen James and Lily since they announced the birth of their son, Harry, and now you were here to meet the newest member of their family.

James opened the door, a tired but proud smile on his face. "Hey," he greeted, stepping aside to let you in. "Come on in."

You smiled warmly, stepping into the house. The living room was filled with baby items—blankets, toys, and a crib in the corner. Lily sat on the couch, cradling baby Harry in her arms. She looked up and smiled when she saw you.

"Hi," you said softly, approaching them. "Congratulations. He's beautiful."

"Thank you," Lily replied, her eyes shining with joy. "Would you like to hold him?"

You nodded, your heart pounding as you carefully took Harry into your arms. He was so small, his tiny fingers grasping at the air. You felt a rush of emotions—happiness for your friends, but also a twinge of bittersweet nostalgia for the dreams you once had with James.

James watched you with a mixture of pride and something else—guilt. He shifted uncomfortably, his gaze dropping to the floor.

"He's perfect," you said softly, your voice steady despite the emotions swirling inside you.

James cleared his throat, finally meeting your eyes. "I'm really glad you came. It means a lot."

You smiled, your voice gentle. "Of course, James. I wish you all the happiness in the world."

Lily looked between the two of you, sensing the unspoken history. She smiled warmly, trying to bridge the gap. "We have something we'd like to ask you."

You looked up, curiosity piqued. "What is it?"

Lily took a deep breath, her eyes sincere. "We would be honored if you would be Harry's godmother."

The weight of her words hit you, and you felt tears welling up. "Lily, I... I'd be honored. Thank you."

At that moment, Sirius appeared in the doorway, having just arrived. He took one look at the scene and immediately understood. His eyes narrowed at James, anger flickering in his gaze. He walked over and stood by your side, his presence comforting. He gently took your hand, offering silent support.

James shifted uncomfortably, his guilt evident. "We really do want you to be part of his life. It means so much to us."

Sirius's grip on your hand tightened slightly, his voice cold as he addressed James. "You don't get to just ask her to be godmother and think it makes everything okay, James."

You squeezed Sirius's hand, a silent plea for understanding. "It's alright, Sirius. I love Lily, James, and Harry. I want to be here for them."

Sirius looked at you, his expression softening, though the tension remained. "Are you sure? You don't have to do this if it hurts too much."

You nodded, your eyes filled with determination. "I'm sure. They need me, and I need them too."

As you stood there, holding baby Harry and surrounded by your friends, you felt a mixture of pain and healing. Life had taken unexpected turns, but there was beauty in the new connections and the love that still bound you all together.

"Welcome to the family, little one," you whispered to Harry, feeling Sirius's steady hand holding yours through it all.

i can't get out of bed, cuz something counterfeits dead...

The sunlight streamed through the windows of your cozy apartment, casting warm patterns on the walls. But despite the brightness outside, the room felt dim and heavy with sorrow. You lay in bed, cocooned in blankets, your thoughts consumed by memories of happier times with James.

Remus and Sirius had grown increasingly concerned about you. They knew you hadn't been yourself lately, spending more and more time alone, lost in your own thoughts. They had tried to give you space, but they couldn't ignore the pain they saw in your eyes.

Remus knocked softly on your bedroom door, poking his head inside. "Hey, how are you feeling today?"

You mustered a weak smile, though it didn't reach your eyes. "About the same."

Sirius followed Remus into the room, his expression a mix of concern and determination. "We brought breakfast," he said, holding up a tray laden with food.

You forced yourself to sit up, feeling a pang of guilt at their worried expressions. "Thanks, guys. You really didn't have to do that."

Remus sat on the edge of your bed, his gaze gentle. "We want to help, Y/N. You're not alone in this."

You picked at your food, unable to summon much of an appetite. The weight of your heartache felt suffocating, and it seemed impossible to imagine ever feeling whole again.

Sirius reached out and took your hand, his touch warm and comforting. "We're here for you, Y/N. Whatever you need."

Tears welled up in your eyes, threatening to spill over. "I miss him so much, Sirius. I can't stop thinking about him."

Remus squeezed your shoulder, his voice soft but determined. "It's okay to grieve, Y/N. But we don't want to see you suffer like this."

You nodded, feeling their love and concern wash over you like a lifeline in the storm. "I know. I just... I don't know how to move on."

Sirius leaned in, his voice filled with conviction. "We'll figure it out together. One step at a time."

They stayed with you, offering words of comfort and encouragement, their presence a beacon of hope in the darkness of your grief. They helped you out of bed, coaxing you to eat and drink, and gently guided you through the days ahead.

With Remus and Sirius by your side, you began to find the strength to face each new day. Their unwavering support and love became your anchor, helping you navigate the rough waters of loss and healing. And though the pain of losing James would always linger, you knew that with Remus and Sirius by your side, you would never have to face it alone.

still alive, killing time at the cemetery..

The news came like a thunderclap, shattering the fragile peace of your world. James and Lily were gone—taken from you by the dark and vengeful hand of Voldemort himself. The grief was overwhelming, suffocating, as if the weight of the loss would crush you where you stood.

You and Sirius raced to Godric's Hollow, your hearts pounding with dread as you approached the ruins of their home. The sight that greeted you was almost too much to bear. The once quaint cottage lay in ruins, smoke still rising from the wreckage.

You stumbled forward, tears blurring your vision as you searched desperately for any sign of them. And then you saw him—James, lying on the ground, his lifeless eyes staring up at the sky. Lily was upstairs, her body lying mere inches from where baby Harry was nestled in his cradle, who miraculously survived.

You fell to your knees beside James, your heart breaking into a million pieces. You wailed and sobbed, clutching his lifeless body to your chest, unable to comprehend the magnitude of your loss.

Sirius collapsed beside you, his grief mirroring your own. He reached out, pulling you into a tight embrace as you both mourned the loss of your friends, your family.

But amidst the pain and despair, a spark of determination ignited within you. You looked down at baby Harry, his eyes wide and innocent, and you made a silent vow. You would raise him, protect him, and ensure that he knew the love of his parents, even if they couldn't be there to give it themselves.

As Sirius prepared to leave for revenge on Pettigrew, you made your decision. You stood up, your eyes filled with resolve, and you looked him in the eye.

"I'll raise Harry," you said firmly, your voice steady despite the turmoil inside you. "I promised Lily and James that I would look after him, and I intend to keep that promise."

Sirius nodded, his expression one of fierce determination. "I'll do whatever it takes to bring Pettigrew to justice. And then we'll make sure Harry knows the truth about his parents."

You embraced Sirius one last time, drawing strength from each other as you faced the uncertain future ahead. Together, you would honor the memory of James and Lily, and ensure that their son grew up knowing the love and sacrifice that had defined their lives.

You made your way to lily, combing her beautiful locks out of her young, lovely face, breaking down in tears again as you enveloped her in your arms. "I won't let you down Lils" you vowed, rocking back and forth, clearing the specks of dust that had landed on her cheeks.

You went back to James, running your hand through his mop of curls one more time, a raspy sob breaking past your lips as you pressed a kiss to his forehead, tears dripping down onto his nose. "I love you and i always will" you sobbed, stroking his cheek, wishing his arms would envelop you instead of hanging limply at his sides.

You took a minute to compose yourself, picking baby Harry up and heading to the door, apparating to the apartment you shared with Sirius.

You would never let anyone take him from you.

you're the loss of my life...

The fire crackled softly in the cozy living room of Grimmauld Place, casting flickering shadows on the walls. You sat nestled in an armchair, a book in your lap, but your mind was far away, lost in memories of the past fifteen years.

Harry, now fifteen years old, had grown into a remarkable young man under your care. He was fiercely loyal, brave, and kind-hearted, qualities that reminded you so much of his parents. He often called you "mama," a term of endearment that warmed your heart every time you heard it.

You had raised Harry as your own, pouring all your love and devotion into him, determined to give him the happy childhood that had been stolen from him by Voldemort's cruelty. And in return, Harry loved you fiercely, seeing you not only as his guardian but as his closest confidante and a second mother.

But despite the love and joy Harry brought into your life, there were still moments of darkness and pain, moments when the weight of the past threatened to crush you under its unbearable burden. Tonight was one of those moments.

"I miss him, Sirius," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper. "Every day, I feel his absence like a hole in my heart."

Sirius reached out and took your hand, his eyes filled with sympathy. "I know, Y/N. We all do. He was... he was everything to us."

Remus nodded, his expression somber. "James and Lily were the best of us. Losing them... it's a pain that never goes away."

Tears welled up in your eyes, and you struggled to compose yourself. "I still love James, Remus. I always will. He was the love of my life, the loss of my life."

Sirius's grip tightened on your hand, his own eyes shining with unshed tears. "We'll get through this together, Y/N. We'll keep Harry safe, and we'll make sure James and Lily's sacrifice wasn't in vain."

Just then, the door creaked open, and Harry stood there, his eyes wide with concern. He had heard your conversation from upstairs, and his heart ached at the pain in your voices.

"Mum? Mama?" he called softly, his voice trembling.

You turned to see him standing there, his eyes filled with tears. Without a word, he rushed forward and threw himself into your arms, clinging to you as if you were his lifeline.

You held him tight, feeling his warm tears soak into your shirt. "Oh, Harry," you whispered, your own tears flowing freely now. "We're okay, sweetheart. We're okay."

Sirius and Remus joined the embrace, forming a tight circle of love and grief. Together, you cried for the ones you had lost, but also for the strength and love that still bound you together.

In that moment, surrounded by the ones you loved most in the world, you felt a glimmer of hope amidst the darkness. You knew that as long as you had each other, you could face whatever challenges lay ahead, and that James and Lily's legacy would live on in the love you shared with Harry and with each other.

a/n : well...this broke my heart a lot. as always, comments likes reblogs feedback etc is always appreciated 🤍

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[ghostlymarauder]

tell me The Black Dog by Taylor Swift is not Sirius Black's pov after Remus accused him of being the spy

[iloveyouimsorrry]

“the album is abt matty healy!” “no it’s about joe!” WRONG it’s abt the marauders

[suzieloveships]

Never beating MsKingBean89 allegations

[regulusunset]

taylor swift wrote the black dog from remus’ perspective and no one will tell me otherwise:

“i move through the world with a heart broken, my longing state unspoken and i may never open up thе way i did for you (…) i miss the smoke. were you makin’ fun of me? that was intertwined in the tragic fabric of our dreaming. with tail between your legs, you're leavin'. (…) i still can't believe it, 'cause old habits die screaming.”

my soul hurts, i’m totally lost here.