#since I won’t have time tomorrow
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Working on a piece of art with the most Grinch-like grin imaginable because I am genuinely being So Evil by drawing this… I can already hear how much this is going to get me yelled at… I WILL make the target audience cry and if I don’t then what’s the point of anything
#I’m like 50% down with it. will hopefully be finished today#since I won’t have time tomorrow#it is SO TEMPTING to share a spoiler but I’m holding on bravely#I need to keep the mystery for maximum effect#and it’s torture..#which is why I should stop yapping and go draw#artist agonies
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just did a fifteen hour shift i WILL kill myself if anyone attempts to make me move for the next fifteen hours
#got two bottles of wine and half a bottle of hendricks out of it so not terrible#but i also had like. ten hours on my feet without any food xxxxx#and i did something dodgy to my knee grrrrrr#anyway i’m going to the pub tomorrow evening (the pub that i know work at lmao so that’ll be funny)#now****#and i’m seeing my friend who i haven’t seen i believe since my last birthday party (basically a year ago)#also decorating the christmas tree…… my parents and sister bought a tree TWO WEEKS AGO and it’s just been sitting naked in our lounge#not even bc they were waiting for me to come back it’s just bc there wasn’t a time they were all free…. which surely can’t be true#anyway so i probs will be moving at some point in the next fifteen hours#dw guys i probably won’t kill myself xxxxx#also idk why i keep posting these life updates like you guys don’t need to know about my comings and goings#but you’re getting them anyway coxoxox enjoyyyy<3333#hope everyone is doing well…… i might have marauders things to say again at some point……..
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don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode) don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode) don’t trust your brain after 7pm (winter mode)
#marzi speaks#hi i’m fine. no intrusive thoughts or anything like genuinely i’m ok#just thinking a bit too hard about a bit too much at once#i loveeeee anxiety rumination brain. can we GO TO SLEEP#i offered to drive my dad to his pharmacy tomorrow since i’m getting my pneumonia shot there as well#it is a perfectly safe drive and i know the route exactly. but i haven’t been at a traffic light in months#i’m nervous 👍 i’m most nervous about the parking#i’ll feel better once i do it. and now that i offered to i can’t back down unless it becomes a matter of safety#which it won’t because i know i can do it#but if i avoid doing it now it’ll just reinforce the fear. so i have to push myself a little#and i’m overthinking with that and everything else. as per usual i feel like i have no time. which is Freaky Scary !!#hooray for anxiety rumination brain. oh hey i basically already said that. my mind’s running in circles can u tell :3#i AM okay tho. i’ve had worse anxiety spells. think i just need to get to sleep. and maybe have a cry first we’ll see
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One Pokémon a day ! - Pikachu #0025
#since I was little I never been able to draw Pikachu 😭#this is the closest I got to an accurate Pikachu 😭 kfbskdns#i won’t have time to do Raichu tomorrow so I’ll have to do 2 Monday (or another day)#alex’s art#one pokemon a day !#Pikachu#pokemon#pkmn#pokemonart#pkmnart#pokemon art#pkmn art#Pikachu art#pokemon fanart#fanart#Pikachu fanart#pkmn fanart#electric type#electric pokemon#electric type pokemon#gen 1 pokemon#Kanto#Kanto pokemon#kanto region
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_
#(my toxic trait is that i’ll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anyway… eventually.)#there’s rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but still…)#there’s also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38… that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that mona’s frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc it’s obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i should’ve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huh…#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said ‘so if i asked you if you can start work next monday—’ huh…#sigh… maybe ch 36 next month then… i’ll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 but…#and then there’s the hard to clean text boxes which… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#…though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2…#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tls… since we’re in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious ‘idw the creators to find out about it’… i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so i’d like to. y’know. have the chance to update the tls where possible. i’ve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippei’s name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tls… fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc it’s hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc it’s their job that they’re getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if you’ve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound ‘em out in dms here or sth. don’t worry~~~ i won’t eat y’all if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless you’re the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but that’s bc idw bots to flood the comments bc that’s annoying as he—#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for it…) i’ll improve on my work ethic… tomorrow. maybe.
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I was bored so I decided to try and draw Glaucus here again
Oh wait, I’m not actually sure I showed the first version of this format I have here. I did this for Solus too, so I could figure out his design. And I ended up liking the sketch, so I made it with full design
I just never posted it because I wanted to rename him, but I still don’t know what to. The name Icarus has now popped into my head, since he’s got a sun association, but it might still fall into the “too much Greek/Roman” problem I’m having. Hm
But anyways, back to Glaucus here (I’ll fully talk about Solus and his look another time). So I’ve got a better grasp of his design now
I do still think his design reads as not royal enough, considering he’s supposed to be the leader of the future Demons. It’s also probably not evil enough, since he’s also supposed to be the initial antagonist under an evil influence. But like, it fits his humble fisher vibe. And while he’s supposed to be the leader of the Demons, in my head the title of “king of Demons” does not have the same weight as it did in old times, and outside of the whole politics stuff, they’re pretty much the same as normal Demons
Maybe this is just like his casual wear, or what he wears after you defeat him and rid him of the evil influence. He can go back to being the nice older uncle who’s all about fishing
Also I feel like with his design compared to Solus, the two look distinct while being related, and like Solus is much younger than him, which I am glad for. I did end up making Glaucus’ eyes a bit too big in comparison, but oh well, something to fix if I ever do a full drawing of all of them
I’m still working out Glaucus’ side hair things, I just know I want them to not look the same as the other guys in this family
I also feel like I should give Glaucus some markings somewhere, but I don’t know where of what they’d look like. I tried the hand marking thing Menos has, but it didn’t look right with the bands he has (which I wasn’t really sure if I should have or not in all honesty). And the freckles Solus has are supposed to come from his mom’s side of the family, so he can’t have them
I also didn’t want to give him tied back hair, but I think he looks too young without it. His younger self probably didn’t have slicked back hair though
I think what I’ve accomplished here is that I have a much clearer idea of a design I want to use for him, even if I probably need to make another one that fits his role more. As well as just in general, his design
So uh, yeah
Oh wait, other random design notes
His various different blues are supposed to be referencing the blue dragon sea slug, since they have the “glaucus” name too
Also his outfit was mostly inspired by this one Kuro concept outfit
Okay, I think that was all I wanted to add. Not much really
#he needs more tweaking but he’ll get there#and I should probably be studying for my Geography exam tomorrow#especially since I won’t have time to after 5 with the party I’m going to#but yeah#this I guess#I don’t really have much to add#evoland 2#evoland 2.5#my OCs#my art#glaucus demonia#solus demonia
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things aren’t going well with peach. while i think my dad’s very right to be concerned that she hasn’t eaten anything in nearly 60 hours (obviously i am too), im becoming increasingly concerned that she hasn’t slept at all in around 36 hours and prior to that she was under anaesthetic, which isn’t exactly restful, so it’s closer to 48 hrs
like dad took her back to the vet today and we’ve got injections for her painkillers now because she’s not eating, and also injections for fluids (because she doesn’t drink; she only gets water from her food), so the not eating is Bad but also kinda under management, but if she doesn’t sleep soon i’m extremely worried. dad was like ‘if she doesn’t eat by tomorrow afternoon we’ll take her back because the injections will run out’ but like. if she doesn’t sleep tonight we have GOT to take her back first thing in the morning so they can sedate her or something
#her pain doesn’t seem to be too bad now that she’s got pain relief so idk what’s stopping her from sleeping#she won’t even lie down unless i’m sitting next to her. she just sits there staring out the window#her pupils are also taking up her entire eyes and have been all day#that’ll be a side effect of the medication and maybe the lack of sleep? but it won’t be making her feel any better#she can probably barely see at this point#like imagine you’ve been awake for 2 days after surgery and you’re in a lot of pain and haven’t eaten since before surgery#and are also on strong painkillers. and you also have no idea what’s wrong with you or why everyone’s doing things that hurt you#bruh your brain would be COOKED. there’s no way she has any idea what’s going on rn but she’s clearly feeling terrible#personal#like i think she’ll be ok in the long-term but she’s gotta somehow get through all these immediate issues#last time something like this happened she stopped drinking and never started again#not eating or sleeping don’t have workarounds as simple as putting water in her food#it really doesn’t help that there’s so much other shit going on rn#i’m doing a whole bunch of stuff with my phone and computer that’s taking a lot of work#but also my sister’s going on a long overseas trip that she’s leaving for tomorrow#so the combo of dad and sister coming and going constantly and also like 6 random deliveries for tech stuff in the last 2 days—#has the dogs really wound up. so georgie’s been howling at absolutely everything#and it’s rainy so my clothes aren’t trying and they’re hanging on a rack hooked on the hallway door so the door can’t close#which puts one less door between my room and the dogs so they’re waking me up every time anything happens#and i sleep during the day so that’s ALL THE TIME. i’ve had like 8 hrs of sleep between the last two afternoons#my sister always has so much random life stuff she wants to talk about and was getting really annoyed that i wasn’t very receptive#like ‘im about to go away for 3 months’ sorry i know its a big thing but i can’t just reschedule peach’s medical emergency
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anyone else getting a little tired of the unending horror
#she speaks#truly cannot keep living like this gang!#burned out and stressed constantly to a level that i keep thinking will plateau#only for it to keep somehow getting worse#idk if y’all know this but being a teacher in america is truly a completely unsustainable job#it verges on deliberate cruelty the shit we’re just supposed to handle and be ok with every day#and the expectations we’re supposed to be able to meet#with very little time to plan or prepare let alone rest#tomorrow i literally have no planning time#so i won’t get a single break outside of like 20 minutes for lunch if i’m lucky#and then we have a grade level meeting after school that i didn’t know about until literally today#bc we need to have report card comments done by tomorrow.#which you’ll never guess!! we also didn’t know about/weren’t reminded of until today!!#and maybe that’s on me but admin normally puts out so much stuff about it ahead of time#and this time we got literally nothing#and now i’ve had to cancel my therapy appointment right when i probably need it the most#and since it’s less than 24 hours i might get charged for it 🙃#i haven’t vacuumed in months and my car inspection is 3 months overdue#i wake up exhausted every single day and come home so overwhelmed i can barely talk#and yet things keep fucking happening every single day#and it all just keeps compounding#and i have no other option but to keep pushing through and hope it doesn’t literally kill me#this can’t be all there is. it can’t keep feeling like this forever. when does it get better i cant keep doing this
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bad stuff in my brain tonite dudes. not a fan
#kit talks#just so much worry#worry over my nephew and worry over my sister who’s having a godawful month#guilt and shame from how messy my house is and how i’m never going to get around to cleaning it up#like i can’t even start. there’s just so much clutter and i have no idea how to deal with it#i’m too goddamn tired to deal with anything#then i feel guilty bc like i said my sisters life kinda sucks right now and me feeling guilty for also being in a bad spot doesn’t help—#anyone but the guilt is still there#going to a theme park w friends this weekend and i feel Guilty for spending money and Guilty for not using the time to fix my life#and Guilty for not like. doing what my sister did for me and using the time + money to do stuff with the kids#and yes. i know those things are batshit insane. but they won’t go away#and i go back to work tomorrow after being off since friday and GOD i do not want to#my friend has covered for me (and from the sounds of it she’s been fantastic) but there’s still gonna be 100 emails and all the teams msgs#and having doctors whine about how ‘everything burns down when you’re not here!!!!!!!’#and i’m just already tired. i don’t want to deal with any of this#anyway. that’s that. so i guess i need to try and make myself sleep so at least i’ll just be normal tired tmrrw n not sleep deprived tired
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I’m currently very upset about the American healthcare system. Like I hope they know that they are making people actively sicker 🫶
#don’t read the tags if you don’t like skin related stuff although I’m not going into major detail but I felt like I should warn people an#anyway*#autumn rambles#so basically I had a regurlar cyst on my lower back which isn’t abnormal for me and wasn’t causing me any pain until like a week ago when I#say down on my bed but I did it in a way that I think made this minor cyst burst inside my skin and now it’s definitely infected because#the skin around it is swollen and red but my cat also recently got put down so I felt like such a burden that I didn’t want to tell my#parents but eventually the pain got so bad I caved and told my mom on Sunday night and today she called to try and figure out if I could go#to my primary care this week but since I haven’t been in three years (which I know sounds bad but I see my other two doctor every six#months PLUS I have my double infusion every month so I’m fucking burnt out on seeing doctors so yeah I’m not going to go to my yearly#appointment like I’m supposed to because I’m fucking tired of it PLUS my primary care goes through doctors like crazy and I was tired of#having to explain my life story every time I go to get a regular check up)#but anyway since it’s been 3 years I have to fill out a new patient form in their office before they can even let me know if they have an#appointment available this week like how fucked is that??? why can’t I fill it out before my appointment???#also they had the audacity to say to go to urgent care when the whole reason I called my doctors office is because my info is all there in#the system where as the urgent care people are likely going to have no access to my medical history and they won’t know anything about my#chronic conditions#I’m just so mad because the cyst hurts so fucking bad right now#I had to put a bandaid on it because it’s slightly beginning to burst and I’m terrified of taking the bandaid off#I’m just so torn on what I want to do#like I need to suck it up and go to urgent care but we need the car to get there and my dad has plans tomorrow night and Wednesday is#thanksgiving prep and I hate feeling like this huge burden#it’s the middle of the night rn so I can’t do anything about it and I’m just sad#like I should have stopped being a baby and went after supper but the cyst didn’t hurt as bad then
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I found a nice place to send my cv at, but I’m terrified
#i should send it tomorrow but my computer dosen’t have internet for some reason ????#my dad is terrible with technology and thing he accidently throw out something important about it :’)#anyway so I can’t print my cv and I swear I had it save on my phone or iPad so I could send it online#but I can’t find it ??? so either I make a new one or try to open my laptop#problem is that my laptop take so long I have time to chicken out not do it I don’t trust myself 😭 Bfkdbxj#I’m also scared that if I get reject I’ll have a breakdown tbh#it’s already rough mentally i keep remembering how unhappy I was at my old job and it wasn’t even that bad 😭#but this time it’s not retail so only bosses and colleagues to worry about#but it was my boss making it hell (other than social anxiety) not the retail part#so that dosen’t reassure me#but it’s also close to my house so that’s good too#it’s physical though I worry I won’t be able to do it#my body is not what is was since I got sick fkdbdjjd#anyway I News to gather up courage 😭#alex.txt
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since ming-hua/ghazan have 2 kids... what abt zaheer + pli??
(firebender/combustionbender and/or nonbender -> airbender?)
I was gonna answer this earlier but the lack of sleep reared its head 😅 I took a nap and in the meantime received permission to talk about it, though just in case I will still try to keep it brief. A P’heer child does exist in a few of our verses (we aren't lying when we call it the MULTIverse of madness, I can name at least 7 different AUs off the top of my head and that's not counting the variants where only small changes are made. If we ever made a comprehensive list it'd probably be longer than the list of our OCs and that one’s currently up to 31)
Anyway, her name is Nazra, born in about 153 AG if I remember my timeline right, and she’s a combustionbender. But despite being the same height as her mom, possessing easily the deadliest ability imaginable and generally looking rather intimidating, she’s an impossibly awkward nerd who’d rather sit around and read Air Nomad philosophy like her dad all day. Though she does take after her mom in the romantic sense, having a soft spot for airbenders, while simultaneously doing it better because she’s the definition of a disaster lesbian. She’s quiet, a bit anxious and really sheltered, but she does have a feisty streak to her in that she easily calls people (read: her sister/s) out on their bullshit if they annoy her, and isn’t afraid to use her bending to protect those she loves
The reason I’m not quite sure of the extent as to which I’m allowed to talk about her is because she’s not my OC and neither is she Kat’s. She was created for the fic Empty and Become Wind by Esaleyon, a Red Lotus Korra AU which Kat used to beta read for and which we use as basis for the Ultimate AU I described in my response to the Lien-Hua ask. But as far as I know, the author quit writing/the fandom and as I said above, Kat and I took Nazra in, so to speak. But she features in only a small handful of our AUs (currently only 3 come to mind, one of them ironically being the complete polar opposite to the other two in terms of tone and how dark the storyline is) so we don’t speak of her that often. She is still very dear to my heart, has been since 2020, and in the AUs she features in I consider her a sister to Suiren and Midori
If you’re curious, a few years ago Nina (@silima, who single-handedly fed the entire Red Lotus fandom with amazing art back in 2020-2022 or so) drew her, thus creating the design that I base my own sketches off of, so everyone say thank you Nina :)
#heads up the fic link leads to a mirror site since I can’t access the actual ao3 without a vpn. same thing though#and it took me so long to find that Nazra art… while scrolling through Nina’s art tag I went down like 50 different memory lane trips#sooooo damn nostalgic 🥺🥺🥺#NINA BRING YOUR RL ART BACK I MISS IT PLEASE#*cough* moving on#fun fact#this isn’t the only time I’ve (stole) BORROWED Nina’s designs for characters#never mind that I use their colour palettes for the RL. as well as their teenage designs#but I also heavily referenced the one (?) drawing they made of Malina. Unalaq’s wife. in my own design for her#sorry Nina I hope you don’t mind 😅#anyway#@ anon I’m most likely going to my grandma’s tomorrow which means that I won’t have to worry about any responsibilities#and unless some kind of pain acts up I will probably have the energy to respond to your messages properly#so fingers crossed lmao#kat and nia and their multiverse of madness#the legend of korra#the red lotus#p’heer#original character#eabw nazra
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I do not like having to go to the DMV… I do not like it at all.
#pardon my insanity#this has been a week of facing things that I do not like#large and busy airports (kudos to CVG for getting me through TSA real fast and making that part nearly pain-free though)#all the *escalators* in said airport#(I get severe vertigo on escalators… I do not like them -especially going down)#(this was actually the first time I’ve managed to get on a downward escalator since before Covid lockdowns)#went to the dentist for something a little more invasive than a typical checkup less than two hours after getting home Monday…#…the dentist made the airport seem like a cake walk#(usually not fearful of the dentist… but that’s the first time I’ve had to have novocaine shot in my cheeks and that was weird)#and then the DMV was such a pain yesterday (and online instructions prior to were different than there so I had to leave and come back)#…DMV successfully made Monday’s dental procedure feel easy!#and now tomorrow I have to wrangle my cat who is terrified of the vet *back* there because five weeks and her ear infection won’t go away#and listen to her hyperventilate and try to dig her way out of the carrier the whole drive up (which scares the ever-loving crap out of me)#she does that on Gabapentin too -it’s that bad
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i need to stop forgetting things exist the fucking second they leave my field of vision. why is is impossible for two things to occupy my mind at once especially when im tired. like. i feel like a sim. i feel like actions are being canceled and i just. move on. and completely forget what i was doing moments before. i fucking hate it
#i feel like it’s getting worse too#like its always hasn’t been great but the past few weeks have been especially bad#why can’t i remember things!! why is my short term memory sucking ass!!!!!!#like if i don’t write/type things down i loose it#making me wanna rip my hair out what the fuck is going on!!!!!#gonna start playing those phone games that improve memory or whatever#it’s either that or going to my mom for an essential oil recommendation#i know it’s probably some undiagnosed shit but im also like. i can’t keep blaming whatever is wrong with my brain because its a problem with#/me/. ya know?? like. yeah it is something with my brain. obviously. but i need to take some sort of action to fix it. and i dont know what#that action is#besides the two options i said before#or carrying a fucking notebook around and writing down everything. which is stupid also and i know won’t last a week#problem is im gonna forget about any rule i come up with since as soon as im preoccupied with something else. i’ll forget the rule#i would need a hat with the reminder on paper tapped to the hat#so it’s always dangling in front of my eyes#i don’t know what else to do at this point!!!!#it’s making me so worried about going away for college. cause yeah i did really well at community. but if i have the deteriorating memory#of a goldfish who’s constantly banging its head against the glass. how am i gonna make it through university.#i love writing essays in the tags that no one will read <3#having a ball rn. a great time. not feeling like a waste of resources at all rn. feeling great.#if my mom doesn’t let me wear my earbuds tomorrow i think ill scream#anyways. gonna bake some blueberry lemon sweet rolls tomorrow#me rambling#i love being undiagnosed#but let’s be real#being diagnosed won’t give me anything other than more of an excuse#because i can’t go on meds with my current living situation#and i also don’t really want to go on meds because i don’t trust them#feeling silly i think ill actually post this one maybe someone has a suggestion for what to do#vent
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WAIT. After lv 15 they don’t have any more affinity lv content for the global server..!
#How am I going to survive the cold long seasons of no main story content after this..!!#(I get that it makes sense global doesn’t have any of the later lv things since it has only been two months since release and I would-#assume CN also only got more later on but still)#this has literally been the only way I’ve been surviving since I finished all of godheim like 2-3 weeks after release#hey at least eden is coming out tomorrow so theres that#I won’t be starving for a good while I’m assuming#I guess I’ll just have to hoard all of the later gifts I’ll still be farming for when they release more of the affinity lv stuff#for all time#lovebrush chronicles
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won’t lie, experiencing some horrors
#just cried uncontrollably for like 20 mins#cried like 3 times yesterday too#i have no energy for like anything rn.. went to buy new glasses today tried on 15 pairs hated them all and then went back to my car#and cried because i really need new glasses since i fucked up my current pair and they don’t sit right now and dig into my face#tw death . my grandma passed away while i was flying home from canada#and it sucks because everyone got to be with her and say goodbye but i didn’t#and there’s a viewing tomorrow and my dad thinks i should go since it will be my last chance to see her but i don’t want to#i get that it’s a healing way to say goodbye for some people but i don’t want to see my oma lifeless#i know i’ll never get to see her again and that fucking sucks but she’s gone and i don’t want to see her like that#plus i have work and i already called in sick 2 days i don’t want to leave them short again even if it’s understandable#anyway the funeral is on tuesday at least i have the day off already and don’t have to worry about work#everything sucks soooooo fucking bad rn i won’t lie i’m not doing too great#and i miss el so much like i would kill to be able to hug my gf right now#their mom sent me a video today of them laying on the couch with their parents cat cuz they visited for father’s day#and i’ve cried twice while watching it…#argh. anyway. going to go watch a silly little video of some sort and maybe sleep early cause i haven’t been sleeping well#it’ll be ok 🧡#p
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