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bellofthemeadow · 1 year ago

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The Road Ahead - ch 7 | Frankie Morales x female reader

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

For most of your married life, you dedicated yourself to waiting for Frankie. After each deployment, you patiently awaited his return, longing for the moment when he would be by your side again. During those nights when nightmares consumed his thoughts, you yearned for him to open up to you, hoping that he would find solace in sharing his pain. And as his addiction spiraled out of control, you held onto the hope that he would recognize his problem and seek help. However, despite your countless protests and pleas, you now find yourself waiting for him once more as he ventures off to Colombia, engaged in God knows what.

But this time is different. Determined, you make a solemn promise to yourself: You will never wait for Frankie again.

Rating: M for Mature (18 + no minors allowed)

Word Count: 9K (Again, I have no excuses)

Warning: Applicable for the entire fic / PTSD, drug use and addiction, postpartum depression, abusive familial relationships, self-hatred, unhealthy coping mechanism, explicit sexual content, violence, mentions of suicidal thoughts, super angsty

Chapter Summary: What is left of you and Frankie and is it possible to rebuild after everything that has happened between you two?

Notes: Hey everyone, thank you again to everyone who liked, commented or reblogged the earlier chapters of this series it means the world to me that you all enjoy this! I also wanted to apologized because this took way longer to write than I anticipated, and I wasn't able to have it ready by Sunday like I thought. This is kind of bittersweet as it is almost the end of this story, only the epilogue will be left after this. I wasn't sure which direction to take with it, but I hope you will all enjoy where I've taken Frankie and his cielo. Love you all so much <3 <3 <3

One Day at a Time

Frankie follows two steps behind his mother, his arms full of paper grocery bags, while Alma opens the door of the old yellowish one-story home where Frankie grew up. "Por favor, coloca los comestibles en el mostrador," she requests. "Sí, mamá," Frankie replies. He puts the groceries down and wipes the beads of sweat from his forehead. The Floridian humidity has been killing him today.

Alma flutters back into the room like the 72-year-old tornado she is, this time with her arms full of seedlings, and she passes Frankie. "Y coloca la pizza congelada en el congelador," she instructs. "Sí, sí, no te preocupes, yo lo tengo." Frankie knows he was being short with his mother; his words were more biting than they should have been, especially since Alma allowed him to come back home after his stint in rehab. Shame creeps up his neck at his dry tone when his mother turns toward him. "Mamá…" However, Alma doesn't say anything. She approaches Frankie, softly grabs him by the shoulder, bringing him down to her level, and engulfs him in a tight hug that still makes him feel like a little boy after all these years. "Lo siento, Francisco. I don’t mean to boss you around Mijo. You know how mamas are." "Lo siento, Mamá. I didn’t mean to snap at you." Mother and son embrace in the middle of the kitchen, the full light of the afternoon sun illuminating the kitchen.

“Tell me what’s on your mind mijo. Are you not going to see Estrelita this afternoon? That always cheer you up.”

“Si. Once I put the groceries away, I am picking her up from Mrs. Hu and we’ll spend the rest of the day together.”

“And what about her mother?” Frankie lets out a sigh.

"We're going for lunch tomorrow. It's her first day off in a while, and honestly, the first day she won't be working an 11-hour shift. This new job is really working her to the bones.”

Since Frankie left rehab five days ago, he hadn't been able to see you. And it was eating at him, consuming him from the inside. He had already missed you so much these past few months, but now those added days were plain torture. You had talked briefly over the phone on the first night Frankie was back in his childhood home to arrange how he could see Ella in the upcoming days. The initial conversation had been awkward, to say the least. You had tentatively asked Frankie how he was feeling now that he was back, how rehab went, did he feel any different from before. Frankie had tried to be as forthcoming as possible, but he knows that over the phone he probably sounded like the stilted mess he felt like. But he tried, without the comfort of the routine rehab had provided, he was feeling anxious and tired. Rehab had gone as well as it could, although he was lonely and missed his family. You had taken a breath upon hearing his answer. He didn't feel that different, except for developing a newfound love for licorice as a by-product of sobriety. You had laughed at that, a breathy and airy laugh, as if you had been holding it in during the entire four months he was away. Frankie was overjoyed to hear he could still make you laugh, and he was tempted to do a victory dance in his old bedroom, between the posters of Top Gun and a young Winona Ryder.

After a moment had passed, a comfortable silence settled between you both, and Frankie had asked how you and Estrella were doing. Your voice sounded tired and sad over the phone. Frankie could picture you sitting on the edge of the bed, chewing on your bottom lip. Apparently, Ella was doing as well as a seven-month-old could be, although you were certain she was missing her daddy (Frankie's heart clenched at that thought). On the other hand, you were currently overwhelmed. You apologized for not being able to be there when he left rehab, and Frankie could hear the guilt seeping through your words. He was quick to reassure you, saying, "Don't worry about that, it wasn't much fun waiting for me to be cleared. It took almost two hours, it's not important." Your voice echoed in a quiet whisper that Frankie almost didn't catch: "It's important to me." Unsure of how to respond, he settled on humming softly.

You continued, explaining the reason for your absence. Apparently, the library at Florida University, while state-of-the-art, wasn't immune to flooding. You had spent the last three days knee-deep in water, trying to salvage the book collection, and you had been working almost eleven-hour days. You referred to it as a "nice little welcome gift." You told Frankie that by next week, you would finally be able to return to a normal work schedule, and you could see each other then. In the meantime, you assured Frankie that he could see Ella anytime and that you would clear it with Mrs. Hu to allow Ella to go with him. Although Frankie would have much preferred coming home to you and Ella, he understood why it was better for everyone involved that he stayed with his mother for a little bit. “Take care to not take it personally, it’s not against you personally. It’s important now to go at your wife’s pace. Take the time to show her how far you’ve gone, and allow time for you both to rebuild the trust that was broken” his therapist had said.

Nonetheless, Frankie was heartbroken upon learning that he wouldn't be able to see you for a couple more days. He had so much to tell you, so much to share, and so much to apologize for. But he could hear the exhaustion and stress in your voice. A baby, a new job, and a flood all at once? Frankie knew he would have needed more than cocaine to get through all of that. So instead, he murmured encouragement, "Don't worry about me, I'll take Ella during the day and spend some quality time with her. Gotta make sure she didn’t forget me, you know." The joke didn't land, and only a sniffle answered him. "I'll see you next week, take care of yourself, all right?" Frankie attempted to finish the conversation with his usual "I love you" but the line disconnected before he could get a word in edgewise.

Frankie flopped onto his bed, his eyes landing on the helicopter model on his bedside table, and he took a deep breath. He repeated the counting exercise, 1-2-3-3-2-1, five times. Grounding himself. It wasn't fair that you couldn't be there for the conversation he had dreamed of and meticulously rehearsed for the past three weeks, but life wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that you were married to a cocaine addict either, but what could one do? Frankie would wait for you, and for now, he would make sure to see Ella every day, creating memories with her and catching up on everything he had missed. Maybe at some point down the line, she would also crawl with him as she had done with you and Benny.

So, in the meantime, Frankie was back home with his mother. He tried to take on most of the household chores so as to contribute as much as he could. At the same time, he spent a lot of his evenings browsing online, searching for ways to appeal his suspension. He came across a recommendation for a lawyer who had served in the military back in 2002 and seemed willing to help him on that front. Will apparently knew the guy and according to him, he was legit. So, for the first time in a while, it looked like things were starting to look up for him.

Otherwise, Frankie devoted his afternoon to spending time with his little Estrelita. Without fail, every day at 1 pm, he would drive back to your home and knock on Mrs. Hu's door. This daily ritual was something he held onto tightly, never willing to miss a single visit. The anticipation would build as he waited for the door to swing open, and a rush of excitement and joy would flood his heart each time he caught a glimpse of Ella. However, no moment could ever compare to the overwhelming surge of emotions that nearly toppled him when he first laid eyes on Ella when he finally passed the two large doors of the Rehab facility 5 days ago.

Although you couldn't be there in person, you were adamant that Ella should be there to welcome Frankie back. So, you enlisted Will's help to bring Ella and make it a special moment. You provided Will with a detailed list of instructions, ensuring everything would be taken care of. In preparation, you gave him enough bottled milk to last at least two days, just in case, and a bag filled with Ella's favourite plush toys. You made sure Will was comfortable and capable of changing Ella if necessary, and he approached the task with the precision and efficiency of the military man he once was.

When Frankie swung open the wide entrance doors, his eyes were immediately drawn to Pope, who was making exaggerated arm movements, and Benny, who was jumping up and down like an excited child, holding a large sign that read "Kick the habit" adorned with an excessive amount of glitter. Although deeply touched by his brothers' enthusiastic welcome, it was the sight of Will, holding little Estrelita in his arms, that truly overwhelmed him. Frankie dropped his bags and sprinted towards them without hesitation. Scooping Ella into his arms, he held her delicately and pressed his tear-streaked face close to hers, unable to contain his emotions. Ella, for her part, displayed remarkable patience and giggled at the man holding her, tugging at his unruly brown curls and cooing happily. Frankie nestled his nose atop Ella's soft, damp head, his heart overflowing with a mixture of joy, longing, and remorse. He fought back the tears threatening to escape, determined to be strong for his precious Estrelita. After a few moments of simply holding her close, he found his voice, albeit choked with emotion, and whispered brokenly, "Papa missed you so much, Estrelita. My little princesa, papa is never going to leave you again. Te amo, Ella. Papa and mama love you so much."

As Frankie poured his heartfelt words into the air, a subtle shift occurred within Ella. Her eyes, previously filled with amusement, now glimmered with a glint of recognition. She seemed to respond to the familiar voice that had serenaded her during those long months, a voice that carried enchanting stories and was always brimming with love. Papa's voice was like a warm embrace that had the power to banish any lurking monsters from her world. It brought her solace and comfort, reminding her that she was cherished beyond measure.

Frankie found himself unable and unwilling to let go of Ella, holding her tightly for a solid 15 minutes before she started to fuss. Coming to the rescue, Will rummaged in the enormous pink bag you had packed for him and produced a bottle of milk, passing it to Frankie. Frankie sat down on the steps in front of the rehab center and fed Ella, cherishing this long-awaited moment of closeness after four months apart. The rest of the boys gathered around, expressing their sheer happiness at seeing their old friend, bombarding him with a flurry of questions. Did he feel better? Did he see God in there? Were the nurses hot? On a scale of 1 to 10, how much did he want cocaine now? Despite the barrage of inquiries, Frankie couldn't divert his attention from the little miracle nestled in his arms. In that moment, nothing else existed except his Estrellita.

Then came the time to head home. Frankie's heart was brimming with a mix of emotions as he prepared to leave the rehab center, his precious Estrelita nestled securely in his arms. As they walked towards the car, Pope couldn't contain his joy any longer, and with a hearty slap on Frankie's back, he exclaimed, "Fish, so glad to see you've ditched that half-dead corpse look. Cocaine was definitely not your colour." Frankie, caught off guard by the sudden impact, instinctively pushed Pope's arm back with the one that wasn't cradling Ella. An amused smile played on his lips as he retorted, "Pendejo,"

"Hey, no swearing in front of the baby," Benny exclaimed with a touch of melodrama, pretending to cover Ella's ears. Her ear-piercing giggle filled the air, bringing a smile to everyone's faces. Frankie narrowed his eyes, and before he could give Benny a piece of his mind, Will stepped in, playfully knocking Benny on the head. "Come on, you know the baby doesn't speak Spanish, so it doesn't count, right, Fish?" he said. "Right.” Frankie levelled a hard stare at Benny, “I’m not planning on making a habit of swearing in front of my baby," Frankie assured.

Benny finally sensed that something was amiss, he took a deep breath and kicked his shoe against a rock, sending it flying toward the row of cars. "I was just saying..." he grumbled. Frankie took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and silently counted to himself. Opening his eyes again, he was greeted by Ella's sleepy face. He smiled before gently tracing the contours of her small face with his finger. "Thank you for everything. I don’t know how I could ever repay you for all you have done," Frankie vulnerably said, his voice filled with heartfelt gratitude.

And then Frankie was home. Well, not his true “Home." Not the home you both built and where you both made memories. The home where you started a family together. It wasn't the sanctuary where he felt the most happiness. But for now, his childhood bedroom with dated 90’s posters and marine carpeting would have to suffice. Until tomorrow that is when he would finally get to see you again. As Frankie meticulously arranged the last of the groceries in their designated spots, he instinctively reached for his phone and noticed a message notification from you. With a sense of anticipation, he double taps the message, eager to consume your words as if he had been starved from you and every morsel you were 0willing to give him would bring him back to life.

"Hey, hope your day went well. Just wanted to confirm that tomorrow at 10 am was still good for you? I have time for a small break, so I wanted to make sure Mrs. Hu is still available to take care of Ella on Saturday.”

Frankie's heart skipped a beat as he read your message, his eyes scanning each word with a mix of excitement and longing. In an instant, his fingers danced across the screen, his response punctuated by an urgency to reassure you of his commitment. "Still all good, and don't worry, I'm on my way to pick up Ella right now. I'll personally confirm with Mrs. Hu, so you don't have to take time off your break. Knowing you, I know you haven’t eaten anything today. Make sure you do please, mi cielo.”

As Frankie anxiously awaited your reply, stressing that he had been too forward, maybe he should apologize. The three familiar bubbles appeared, signalling your typing. His pulse quickened, his mind racing with thoughts of what you might be saying. The bubbles vanished and reappeared, teasing him with their fleeting presence. Finally, your message materialized on the screen, bringing a strange mix of relief and dread. "Perfect, thank you, Frankie. I appreciate it. Give a good smooch to Ella from me. See you tomorrow.”

Frankie's eyes lingered on your message, his mind briefly wandering to the unspoken words that you might have wanted to say to him. Did him using your nickname bother you? Did you not want Frankie to check on you anymore? Had he overstepped boundaries, slipping back too quickly into the role of the husband when maybe you weren't ready or didn't want that anymore? Tomorrow could be the day when you would let him down gently, he thought. Knowing you, you would handle it with kindness, expressing how your love for him had changed, making it clear that co-parenting was the extent of what you were willing to offer now. He wouldn’t blame you for it.

Frankie felt it in the blink of an eye—the overwhelming urge that surged through his entire being. It was like a bolt of electricity coursing through his veins, threatening to consume him. He closed his eyes tightly, took a deep breath, and silently counted to himself. 1.2.3, 3.2.1. Yet, the tension remained, refusing to be easily dismissed. He needed to ground himself, to anchor his spiralling thoughts. Five things he could smell, five things he could see, five things he could feel—Frankie went through the exercise, trying to find solace in the present moment. It provided only temporary relief.

Feeling the weight of his unease, he instinctively made his way to the top drawer of the kitchen. Opening it with a hint of roughness, he reached for an unopened bag of licorice. Grabbing a handful, he popped three pieces into his mouth, savouring the strong anise flavour as it traversed down his throat, almost burning in its intensity. It provided a fleeting sense of comfort, easing the edges of his turmoil.

Glancing at the time, Frankie realized it was almost 1 pm. He couldn't afford to delay any longer if he wanted to maintain Ella's well-established routine. You had always emphasized the importance of routine for babies since the moment you found out about the pregnancy, and Frankie wasn't about to fuck that up. So today he would spend time with Ella, give her all the love he possibly can. Then tonight, when everyone sleeps, Frankie knows he’ll dream of you, as he has for the past 4 months.

__________________________________________________________

The next day, 9h35 am

You sit in a cozy booth tucked away in the corner of a charming diner. From the moment you entered, you could feel that distinctive "Instagram vibe" floating in the air. It was clear that every aspect of the place had been meticulously arranged to appear mismatched, deliberately striving for an eclectic aesthetic to preserve the nostalgia of the old-fashioned diner. Yes, you thought to yourself, gentrification was at work here. Even a grand flower wall greeted visitors at the entrance, complete with a petite park bench—a perfect spot for capturing that perfect profile picture.

This wasn't the usual scene you and Frankie frequented. He was always camera-shy, and you weren't particularly inclined toward social media. Nonetheless, you sought out this neutral ground, guided by the Google reviews that promised private booths—a perfect setting for the long-overdue discussion with your husband.

You scan the surroundings, taking in the vintage posters and old photographs adorning the walls. The mismatched furniture and worn-out booths in shades of blues and oranges catch your attention, loud but not too overwhelming. It's like magic, this hipster vibe, you think. You try to catch a glimpse of the menu on the blackboard near the counter, but since you requested the quietest booth, sacrificing the view makes sense.

You always order the same thing anyway: a large latte with almond milk if they have it, with a touch of hazelnut. Frankie, on the other hand, goes for a black Americano with five shots of espresso, like the maniac he is. He would often playfully tease you about your choice, mocking that it wasn't "real coffee" if it needed to be drowned in milk and sugar. In response, you would scrunch your nose, adopting a faux haughty tone, and retort, "I don’t take food advice from someone who considers beer as its own food group” Like clockwork, Frankie would seize you, pulling you close, and plant a passionate kiss on your lips, whispering, "Sweet, just like you, my love."

A rush of nostalgia washes over you as you close your eyes, relishing the memory. Glancing at your watch, you note the time: 9:40. Knowing Frankie's punctuality, he would be arriving any moment now. In your shared understanding, being 15 minutes early was on time, being on time was considered late, and the mere thought of being late was inconceivable.

As you anxiously fold napkins into little origami birds, the distinct voice of your husband reaches your ears, engaging in conversation with the barista at the counter. "One Americano, five shots, and one large latte with almond milk and three pumps of hazelnut," he orders. Your head twists instinctively in the direction of the sound, and in that moment, your eyes lock with Frankie's. It's as if time had stalled, and Frankie, looking like his namesake, is like a fish out of water. The sight of you completely disorients him, leaving him breathless as if the wind has been knocked out of his lungs. Or rather, the water from his gills.

You fare no better. Seeing Frankie like this, looking so good—better than you've seen him in some time—sends a shot straight to your heart. You're happy to see him looking so well, but at the same time, a twinge inside whispers meanly in your ears, "You couldn't help him get himself here. You don't deserve Frankie like this; he deserves better than the scraps you can offer. He'd only stay for Ella, anyway." The voices are harsh, leaving you on unsteady ground.

You look down at the table, trying to silence the voice. "He remembers my coffee order. That ought to mean something," you think to yourself. The voice let’s out a cruel chuckle as if to say, "Sure, keep telling yourself that." Now, it resembles your mother's voice, and you shake your head to rid yourself of the thought. You don't want to have a complete meltdown in the coffee shop on the very first day you get to see your husband again. You already feel bad enough that you couldn't be there when he left rehab. "What kind of wife am I?" Your heart breaks. "A shitty one," your mother's voice answers with fake saccharine sweetness.

After composing yourself, you raise your eyes again toward Frankie, who seems frozen in front of you. The torment of seeing him so close, yet still out of reach after four long months, feels like a form of exquisite torture. Your hands weakly wave in his direction, accompanied by a shy smile. Shyness—an unfamiliar feeling when it comes to Frankie; in fact, it's quite the opposite of the easiness that marked even the beginning of your relationship. Frankie always felt like your home, and to feel so uncomfortable with yourself is a feeling you are rather unused to having with your husband.

After enduring a couple of excruciating minutes, Frankie finally approaches you, skillfully balancing a tray with your two drinks and two muffins. A smile escapes your lips, appreciating Frankie's thoughtfulness once again. He places the tray on the table with a resounding thump, causing the dark liquid of his Americano to threaten an escape from the oversized mug. Frankie's face flushes with a cute red hue as he stammers awkwardly, "I got you your usual coffee. I figured you wouldn't stop loving hazelnut in your coffee in 4 months." Regret etches itself onto his face, and he continues, "Not that there would be anything wrong with that. You can change your mind. You can get what you..." His words trail off as self-doubt seeps in, "I should have asked. I shouldn't have just assumed. I can go back and order something else..."

"Frankie!" The sound of your voice interrupts his rambling. "Hazelnut is great, as I always tell you. It's the..." Before you can finish your sentence, Frankie jumps in, completing it with a small smile, "Superior nut."

"I also got a blueberry and a carrot muffin. You can take whichever you want," he offers. You return the smile, playfully teasing, "I know for a fact you want that blueberry muffin, Francisco Morales." You look back at Frankie with a wide grin, continuing, "It’s almost as if you knew that carrot is my favourite, so I’d leave blueberry for you." Frankie’s answer is his signature sheepish smile as he plucks the blueberry one from the tray and dugs into his muffin. You do the same, meticulously separating the top of the muffin from its bottom and creating little nibbles of carrot goodness.

After a beat, you kindly offer, "You look good, Frankie. Really good, actually. I'm genuinely glad to see you looking so well." Frankie's smile widens to the point where it could blind you. "Thank you," he says with gratitude. "I've been working really hard, but I think it paid off you know. I do feel better.” Frankie stops, chewing his lips as if he thinking what to say next, “I won't lie to you; rehab was really hard, one of the hardest things I’ve done. And it's still challenging, there are days that seem insurmountable. But at least now, I understand what I was doing wrong— not seeking help, being stubborn, thinking I could handle everything on my own." As he speaks, he places his hand on top of yours, which rests on the side of the table. "Not talking to you will always be my biggest regret.”

Your breath hitches in your throat, and you feel your palm growing clammy under his touch. Yet, you resist the urge to pull away, aware that it might be the wiser choice. Frankie has just opened the door to start talking about everything that has transpired in the last couple of months and everything that lies ahead in the coming years. But you're uncertain if you're ready for that conversation. Once you start talking, it becomes undeniably real. The decisions you make today will shape the future for you, Frankie, and Ella. The weight of that responsibility bears down on you, leaving you feeling both anxious and overwhelmed. The room becomes smaller and smaller as if the walls are closing down on you.

You withdraw your hand, trying to alleviate the pressure and make a show of grabbing your coffee, taking a big gulp to buy yourself a moment of respite. Frankie's expression turns disappointed, but you're unsure of what to do next. The silence hangs in the air, heavy with unspoken words and unaddressed emotions.

"I saw the new plush toy when I picked up Ella from Mrs. Hu yesterday. She seemed to love the unicorn. Thank you," you offer, attempting to break the tension. Frankie's smile flickers back, albeit weaker this time. "I wasn't sure if it was okay, but I wanted to get her something nice. I've missed her so much.”

"You're Ella's father, Frankie. Of course, it's okay for you to buy her things. She loves you," you reassure him, trying to offer some comfort amidst the complexity of your feelings. "I love her too. And I love you, mi cielo. I'm so, so sorry about everything. There aren't enough lifetimes for me to show you how deeply sorry I am for all that I’ve done. For everything that I didn’t do. But I am so sorry, and I intend to make up for it every day for the rest of our lives," Frankie earnestly declares.

You chew on your lip, your thoughts racing as you struggle to find the right words. It's time to confront the truth, to express the raw emotions that have been swirling within you. "I don't need you to make up for it, Frankie. I needed you to... I wanted... I don't know how to say it," you confess, your voice raw and vulnerable.

Frankie's expression shifts, a mixture of guilt and bitterness. "You needed your husband not to be a major fuck-up. You don't have to pretend, I know," he admits, his voice laced with a hint of self-disgust. "I'm trying so hard, mi cielo. I want to be the man you need me to be. I want to be the husband you deserve. The father Ella deserves.” “Frankie…”

"No, please, mi cielo, please. I need to say this," Frankie implores, his voice filled with urgency. He takes a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before continuing, "I've been doing a lot of talking in group therapy, but I've also been listening. I was trying to understand where I went wrong if there was something I could have done different. And there were many things, but I've realized that the drugs, they weren't the actual problem. They were more like a symptom of the real problem; my therapist helped me understand that they were more like a physical manifestation of what was wrong deep inside me. Taking drugs was my way of externalizing all the pain and turmoil that I was feeling i within. In a twisted way, I never truly believed that I deserved you or Ella, and maybe a part of me wanted to sabotage the good things in my life. I don't know. I don't want to lie to you and tell you that I'm completely cured, that I won't ever feel the urge to do reckless things when life becomes overwhelming. But I don't want to be that man anymore. I want to change.”

Frankie's words hang in the air, heavy with honesty and vulnerability. He looks into your eyes, his gaze filled with a mix of remorse and hope.

"I want to tell you why I feel this way," Frankie continues, his voice filled with conviction. "I want to share with you what I’ve gone through, I see how unfair I was to you by shutting you out of this large part of me. I want to open it to you and show you everything, the good, the bad the ugly. I mean, only if you still see yourself doing so sown the line.

You could see the sincerity etched on his face, the genuine desire to make amends and rebuild what was broken. His words resonated deep within you, stirring a mix of emotions.

"I know, Frankie. It's just... It's just that," you said, exhaling audibly and averting your gaze to the side, trying to collect your thoughts. "You know it's not that simple." As you settled your eyes back on Frankie, his face displayed a mix of understanding and devastation, realizing the weight of your words.

"So much has happened, and I don't want to rush into anything," you continued, your voice tinged with hesitation. "Perhaps we could keep the current dynamic, for now, allowing things to unfold a bit more slowly. With work calming down maybe we could take small steps towards building a stronger trust, maybe we could have dinner together as a trio a few times a week? I still want you to spend time with Ella as much as you want, but I also need to sort out my own thoughts and emotions before moving forward.”

A deep sigh escapes your lips as you continue, your voice trembling with vulnerability. "I know it might seem selfish, Frankie, but you really hurt me." Unable to contain your emotions any longer, a sob escaped, your resolve weakened by the pain. "You hurt me deeply, and now, I'm left questioning whether I can truly trust you." The tears wells up, despite your best efforts to hold them back, betraying the depth of your hurt and confusion.

Frankie's leg begins to bounce restlessly as he absorbs your words. "Mi cielo..." he murmurs softly, his voice filled with a mix of concern and longing.

"Look, Frankie, I'm not saying that I don't want us to find our way back to each other," you start, trying to articulate your thoughts as clearly as possible. "I just... I don't know what I want. I thought I would have it all figured out by the time you left the center, but it feels like I'm still as lost as the day I found you on that couch after you got busted. It's like I've been living in this constant haze, and now that you're here and you want to open up and work on us and our family, I can't help but feel overwhelmed with fear. So, so scared."

Your voice trembles with vulnerability as you continue, bearing your deepest concerns. "I'm afraid that history will repeat itself. I'm scared of ending up like my mother—bitter, angry, and becoming a bad mom to Ella. The thought terrifies me." Taking a deep breath, you fight to steady your racing heart. "Frankie, I don't know exactly what I want right now, but I do know that I want to do what's best for Ella. She deserves a loving and stable environment, and I need to ensure I can provide that."

Frankie looks down at his hand, his fingers fidgeting nervously, and swallows with difficulty. His Adam's apple bobbing harshly against his skin. "I... I understand," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. Closing his eyes momentarily, he musters the courage to ask the question that weighs heavily on his mind.

"Can I... Can I ask you something?" Frankie's voice wavers as he seeks your permission. "Of course, you can ask me anything," you reply, your tone filled with reassurance.

"Thanks, it's part of my new 'communication policy.' I'm trying to make my wants heard and all that," Frankie says, passing his hand across the nape of his neck in a nervous gesture. "If something comes up at home... you... Are you going to call me to fix it? I mean, you could call me at like 3 am, and I would rush home, you know that right?"

Looking at Frankie, a mix of uncertainty and bewilderment on your face, you respond, "Yes, of course, Frankie. I will always call you if something comes up. Why are you asking that?" Frankie's expression shifts to one of shame, and a vibrant shade of pink tinged the tip of his nose.

"I just... argh! You're going to think it's so stupid. It's just... I saw the video," Frankie confesses, his voice laden with vulnerability. Perplex, you ask, "What video?"

Unsure if you could be any more confused, Frankie explains, "The video with Ella and Benny. Will told me that Ben was there to fix the fan in the bathroom. And he was there the first time Ella crawled. It's stupid, I know. Benny is like a brother, and I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me like that. But I felt so insecure and inadequate when I saw the video. I was in rehab, unable to help myself, while Benny was being the man of the house for you and Ella, and..."

Feeling a surge of empathy and understanding, you reach out to him, placing your hand on top of his and squeezing tightly. "Whatever happens, Frankie, you are Estrella's father, and nothing will ever change that. There is no one else that Ella loves more than her papa, you know." As you speak, Frankie let out a small scoff, doubting the truth of your words.

"No, no, no. It's true. I wouldn't lie to you about that," you affirm, looking into his eyes with sincerity. "Do you know why Ella started to crawl that day? It's because of you, Frankie." His gaze fills with uncertainty, Frankie asks, "What do you mean? I wasn't even there."

"No, you weren't physically there, but I played the voice recording you made every day for Ella. And while I was helping Benny remove the old fan, I guess the recording stopped. Ella just wanted to hear more stories from her papa. She was crawling toward you, Frankie."

Frankie's emotions overflow at your words, and he can’t contain his response any longer. "I can't... I thought... My god, what did I think?!" His voice cracks with anguish as tears stream down his face, making him appear years younger, vulnerable like a child seeking reassurance. "I would never think that you... It's just me, I am the problem, and... Ella was crawling because of me?"

You nod, your voice filled with tenderness. "Yeah, she was. Because she loves you, Frankie. You never have to worry about that."

Frankie's tears continue to flow, but there was a glimmer of relief in his eyes. "It's all I've ever wanted, being worthy of her, being worthy of you and your love," he confessed, baring his heart.

"Frankie..." you began, but he interrupts, "You don't have to say anything. It's okay," Frankie reassures you, a small smile gracing his face. "I'm just so glad I got to see you today, to talk. It was a long time coming."

"Yeah," you admit, your own smile forming. "I like this “open communication Frankie”. Do you know if he is planning on hanging around?”

Frankie lets out a laugh, the sound carrying a sense of newfound hope. "Oh yeah, him and “emotionally healing Frankie” are planning on settling down around here for a long time."

Your smile widens, warmth spreading through your heart. "I'm so glad you're better, and I am so glad you are home, Frankie."

"Me too, mi cielo. Me too."

________________________________________________________

That same night

As you settle in the comfort of your bed, a soft glow from the bedside lamp casting a warm ambiance, your eyes fix on Ella peacefully slumbering in the crib stationed at the foot of your bed. The events of earlier in the day dance vividly in your mind, refusing to release their grip on your thoughts.

The memory of Frankie's face haunts you—the subtle but unmistakable disappointment he tried to conceal when you mustered the courage to confess that you needed more time. The weight of that moment bears down on you, leaving you unsure. You can’t help but question yourself, wondering how much pain your hesitations were causing him. How much pain it was causing you. The flood of confusion and doubt was starting to overwhelm you.

As you lay there, the rhythmic rise and fall of Ella's chest serving as a soothing lullaby, you realize that love was a delicate dance. It required patience, understanding, and forgiveness. And in that dance, you and Frankie had stumbled, fumbling through the steps, yet you always found the strength to hold each other up. Were you holding him right now though? Was your dance so out of step that you couldn’t catch each other anymore?

You groan and roll over in bed, hoping that sleep would bring you some clarity. However, as soon as you close your eyes, you open them again and see the clock glaring back at you, displaying the time as 9:45 pm. Instantly filled with urgency, you leap out of bed like a woman possessed, making sure not to wake baby Ella. You hurry over to the small desk on the other side of the room, where you keep important papers. Frankie had also used this desk as a workspace sometimes when he didn’t want to bother you while you were making dinner. You could almost see him, sitting on the small chair, dwarfing the desk with his large frame and checking with various weather stations around the county if flying would be possible in the upcoming days. Those were the good days, you think to yourself, simple yet you would give anything to go back to them. You reach the desk in less than 3 strides, and you hastily pull open the top drawer. You retrieve Frankie's letter that had been sitting there, untouched, for the past four months. You had been avoiding it, trying not to think about it, but now the pull was too strong. Clutching the letter close to your chest, your hands trembling, you bring it back to bed. You turn on the bedside lamp, setting it to its lowest brightness, casting a soft golden glow in the room—enough light for you to read but not disturb Ella's sleep.

You stared at the envelope as if it had the power to scorch your fingertips, fully aware that its contents very well could. Gritting your teeth, you tear through the envelope, taking out the piece of paper adorned with Frankie's handwriting. It lay before you, an expansive canvas etched with the raw emotions of his pen. Inhaling deeply, you brace yourself and commence reading, finally ready to confront whatever lay within those written words.

Mi Cielo,

I'm trembling as I pen these words to you. Tomorrow, I am finally taking your advice from months ago and I am going to check myself into rehab. It has become evident that one truth remains steadfast in our marriage: you are always right, mi corazón.

Depending on when you read this, I might be in rehab or have already completed my time away from you. Perhaps I am even at your side right now! Reading these words together with you, cringing behind your shoulder. If that is the case, let me warn my future self: you had better treat her well, pendejo. Do not repeat the same foolish mistakes I made.

You burst into laughter, the sound echoing in the room, at the same time Ella’s squeal rings out from her crib. Holding your breath momentarily, you listen for any more sounds, but the silence reassures you. Letting out a sigh of relief, you turn your attention back to Frankie's letter.

During these past five days since I left our home, I have been replaying our life together in my mind. Every time, I am confronted with how much I fell short of being the person you deserved. If I could turn back time to those moments when you looked at me with your caring eyes, asking if something was wrong and how you could help, I would be honest with you. I would not hide the nightmares that haunt me, the overwhelming feeling I get from the sound of a garbage truck, or the fact that I am not okay when I pretend to be. Mi Cielo, I am sorry to admit that you have married a weak man, and for that, I apologize.

Apologies are just the beginning; words alone cannot fix everything. That is why I am going to rehab—to become the man you and Ella deserve, and because I want to improve myself too. I have realized that I have forgotten what it truly means to be alive. For too long, I have merely existed, following orders and going through the motions of life. Now that I have the freedom to make my own choices, it is as if I have forgotten how to do so. I need to learn and grow. I am scared, mi cielo. The thought of being away from you and our little Estrellita makes me feel sick. But I know it is the right thing to do, even if it tears me apart to leave you and our baby.

I will put in the work, and when I return to you, my love, you will never be alone again. I will be there by your side, committed to building the life we once dreamed of. Do you remember those letters you sent me while I was overseas? You painted a picture of calm evenings in our backyard, summer getaways to a lakeside chalet with our friends, and long lazy weekends in bed—a simple and perfect life. That is what I desire, mi cielo.

I lost my way because I could not face the man I had become, a man I did not want to be for you. Despite my intentions to spare you from pain, I ended up causing you so much hurt—the very thing I swore I would never do. I became lost, but now I am determined to find my path again. And when I rediscover my true self, I will catch up to you, embracing you in my arms, and we will walk the rest of our lives together. Side by side.

No matter what lies ahead, mi cielo, know that you are my everything.

Te amo, mi cielo, and I will see you sooner than you think. The day I see you again, I plan to shower you with love until my last breath. Every passing moment intensifies the yearning within me to hold you in my arms once more, to show you the man I have discovered within myself. I love you and will keep on loving you from afar.

Yours forever,

Frankie

Your body trembles involuntarily, tears cascading down and staining the letter in your grasp. Emotions surge through you, overwhelming and dizzying. The relentless question echoes in your mind: Why must everything be so tangled and convoluted? In your heart, you know the truth—you love Frankie, and he loves you. It was the one thing that has always remained steadfast, this bond between you and Frankie that has weathered many storms and endured even more hardships, but which remains there to this day. Maybe it is more delicate today, more tattered, and fragile, but it exists still, the letter and Frankie’s efforts are proof of that. You can feel it in your bones. Shouldn't that love be sufficient? It could be, you think. You sprint out of bed and leave the bedroom, grabbing your phone that was resting on the table next to your bed.

Urgently, you bolt out of bed and hastily exit the bedroom, snatching your phone from the nearby table. As you hurriedly make your way to the kitchen, your fingers dial a familiar number, and you anxiously await the response on the other end. Finally, a voice answers, "Hello?"

"Hey, Will. I'm sorry to disturb you at this late hour," you say, your words tinged with nervous excitement. "Do you think you could come over and watch Ella for an hour or two? There's something I need to take care of and it can’t wait for the morning."

_______________________________________________

Frankie pours a splash of soy milk into his bowl filled with honey-nut Cheerios. Soy milk isn't his preferred choice due to its texture, but his mother has fully embraced the diary-free way of life apparently. He isn't particularly fond of Cheerios either; it's been years since he last had them. Yet, he hopes that eating something familiar will bring a sense of comfort and help ease his frayed nerves.

Frankie lets out a weary sigh, realizing the need to stop dwelling on what transpired between you both earlier. As he had anticipated, you handled the situation with kindness, even offering apologies when there was no need. His therapist's words echoed in his mind—you needed time, and that was perfectly all right. He knows that not everything could always align with his timeline. The important thing was that he would still have the opportunity to see you and spend time with Ella. Nothing was truly lost, at least not yet.

With a renewed sense of determination, Frankie reminds himself to stay positive and walk alongside you on this journey you are undertaking. Pushing for a hasty decision would only impede both of you in the long run. Today, Frankie recognizes the significance of establishing his own boundaries and he must now respect yours. He's committed to doing so, honouring your need for space and allowing the necessary time for decisions to be made. Together, you'll navigate this path, supporting one another every step of the way.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Frankie hastily finishes the last spoonful of Cheerios, his gaze shifting towards the oven clock: 10:25? It seems late for someone to be arriving at the house. Especially unannounced. Aware that his mother is already asleep due to her early morning work schedule, Frankie hesitates to disturb her. Could he have forgotten something with Pope or Will? Maybe Benny needed to talk to him; he had been neglecting their friendship since his return from rehab, and he needed to make amends for that. He reminds himself that his own insecurities shouldn't hinder the love he holds for his old friend. Frankie makes his way to the front of the house and opens the door, “A bit late for knocking on people’s ….”

However, the words catch in his throat as Frankie beholds the sight before him. There you stand, clad in his oversized shirt that engulfs you in a sea of fabric, paired with small black shorts. It tugs at his heartstrings. "Mi cielo... What are you doing here? Is everything alright, did something happen? Where is Ella?" he exclaims, a mixture of surprise and concern etching across his face.

“Ella is with Will, at home.” you answer “With Will?! But why…”

"I read your letter," you say with apprehension. Frankie can feel his heart racing, pounding in his chest, as he braces himself for your words. "Mi cielo, that letter..."

"No, please. Now, I want to talk. Please let me, Frankie," you interrupt, pleading for your chance to speak. Frankie nods fervently, allowing you to continue.

"For so long, I've been consumed with worry for you, Frankie. I saw that you were suffering, but I couldn't reach you because you never let me in. It made me so angry and hurt. And I know it may sound selfish, but your struggles with addiction felt like a reflection of my failure as a wife. But now I understand that it's not the case. I could never have helped you unless you wanted to help yourself. And you have, Frankie, and I am incredibly proud of you.”

Your voice quivers with emotion as you confess all the thoughts that have lived in your mind these past months. "I know that our paths have been diverging for a while, but I still love you. I will always love you. There hasn't been anyone else I've loved as deeply as I love you, Frankie. Since that night at the bar, I knew you were the one for me. And I know it can’t be that easy, even if I want it to be. If love could cure all wounds, we wouldn’t be there right now. And I know that I don’t want things to go back to how it was before because it wasn’t right for us. The non-talking, the avoidance, the walking on eggshells. It can’t go on like before Frankie, if we do this, I want us to grow together, I want us to be on this journey together, as long as you promise to be with me, with all your being then I want to be with you. I want us to try together, to really try - the both of us.”

"Those four months without you, Frankie were like living in my own personal hell. I can't bear the thought of spending any more time apart than necessary," you express, your voice trembling with raw emotion. "I'm not ready for you to come back and sleep in our room just yet, but what if we set up a bed in the nursery? We can take it slow, see how it feels, and go from there. The important thing is that we do it together. You always tell me that I am your sky, and Ella is your precious little star, but, Frankie, you are my sun. Despite the clouds that have overshadowed us, I need to have my sun back in my life.”

You take a deep breath, your eyes locking with Frankie's. A broad grin spreads across his face, and he gently says, "Come here, mi cielo." Without hesitation, you launch yourself into his open arms, seeking solace in his warm embrace. Soft sobs escape your lips as Frankie holds you tightly, nuzzling the top of your head. It feels like a long-awaited reunion, a return to the safety and love that only his embrace can provide. In this moment, you realize how deeply you missed him and how irreplaceable he is in your life.

"I'll sleep on the floor in the bathroom, mi cielo, if that means I get to be with you and Ella again," Frankie says earnestly, his words filled with devotion.

You let out a snort, snuggling even closer to him. "No need to be dramatic, the nursery will be more than enough," you reply, a mix of amusement and relief washing over you. Frankie smiles, his lips pressing against your hair as he hums softly.

"We'll take it one day at a time, all right?" you suggest, your voice filled with a blend of hope and love, as you lean into Frankie's embrace.

"Yes, mi Cielo, one day at a time," Frankie affirms softly, his voice tinged with tenderness. His arms encircle you tighter, refusing to let you slip away. In that moment, you can feel the strength of his commitment, his quiet dedication to rebuilding what was broken. To mend the love of your little family.

As you both stand there, wrapped in each other's arms, the weight of the moment crashes on you. It's not about going back to how things were before; it's about forging a new path together. The hardships you've faced have reshaped both of you, moulding you into stronger individuals. Now, it's time to rebuild your love, piece by piece.

One day at a time, you will rebuild, and hand in hand, you will mend the broken pieces of yourselves back together again. In your heart, you know that it will be enough because together you are the better part of yourselves. For what is the sky without its sun? The sun's gentle rays bring warmth and beauty, and Frankie was always able to illuminate your life, filling it with love, joy, and meaning. And what is the sun without its sky? Just as the sky embraces the sun, you, like the sky, are Frankie's shelter and support. Your love and presence create the foundation for his warmth, his reason to illuminate the world. Together, you know that you can weather any storm and chase all the clouds away.

You love Frankie and he loves you, and for tonight as he holds you close in his arms that you have missed so much, that is enough. The rest will come one day at a time.

Epilogue

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thaliaisalesbian · 1 year ago

Text

i get myself twisted in threads

Chapter 3: where you'd always be

Chapters: 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, ao3

“I can do it.” El says, face set. “I closed a gate. I can open one.”

“We don’t know where Steve is, honey.” Mom tells her, gently. “You’ve said you couldn’t pinpoint where he is.”

“He keeps moving.” She insists. “Running. Hiding.”

Jonathan doesn’t think Steve is running from anything, not if he still has that bat. It’s more likely he’s searching for another gate.

He hadn’t run from the demogorgon, and he hadn’t even known what it was then.

There’s no way he’s running now, not if he’s got a chance to kill them.

Unless he’s too injured to put up a fight. But that’s not a thought Jonathan can let himself linger on.

“Would it really hurt to take her out into the woods?” He asks. “See if maybe it’s easier out there?”

It feels like the chance that they’ll find Steve is dropping drastically each day, even though El says he’s alive.

If El told him the only way to get Steve back was to listen to ABBA every day for the rest of his life, he’d do it. Not having Steve around has been… weird. The fact that they know where he is but can’t get him only makes it worse.

The kids have all been off, snappish to the point their teachers noticed, and Will yelled, actually yelled, at Mike yesterday.

“I will go alone.” El adds. “Find him by myself.” She would, too. The second they leave her alone, she’ll go into the woods and if she finds a gate? Well, she’ll almost certainly go through it.

Mom runs her hands through her hair, and Jonathan hugs her quickly. He knows she and Hopper haven’t been sleeping, that they’ve been staying up at night to try and figure out a good way to get Steve out. “Jonathan, Nancy, would you take her?”

Hopper and Mom both still have jobs, and the kids are in school—it’s probably for the best that they don’t know about this attempt. They’d just try and join in, and he really doesn’t want to wrangle six kids through the woods.

Technically, he and Nancy have school too, but Nancy’s got next week’s work done already and he can catch up easily.

It’s not like he’s really been able to focus on his teachers, anyway.

Steve might be able to handle the kids, probably would be if he or Nancy were trapped instead, but he has no idea how. Will and El, maybe one more of them, that’s fine for him. But all of them? Jonathan’s never been sure how to get them to listen.

“Yes.” Nancy answers. “We’ll take her. El, go eat and get dressed. We’ll try and be back before the kids get out of school.”

“Thank you.” Mom hugs all three of them, hard and fast, and then she has to leave, too.

“Do you really think she’ll find him?” Nancy whispers. They’re walking a little behind El, letting her lead them on whatever path she’s following. Possibly a path Steve has walked today.

“I don’t think she’ll stop trying until she does.”

They spend a lot longer in the woods than they intended to; the kids come and find them in the end. He doesn’t know how—they didn't bring a walkie with them, and it’s not like they would work at this distance anyway.

“Mom said since it’s Saturday tomorrow, we could help look now.” Will tells him. Jonathan doesn’t think he’s lying.

El hasn’t said much of anything to them all day; he has no idea what she’s been picking up on that makes her so sure Steve is close. She doesn't even greet the others, fingers staying loosely by her side when Mike tries to take her hand.

“Okay, but we’re not staying out too late.” He says, looking over all the kids.

“Yeah, we don’t want to be out here after dark.” Lucas agrees. “And my parents will kill me if I miss curfew again.”

“Here.” El stops after a few more minutes of walking. Mike tries to take her hand, but she ignores him again, the way she’s been ignoring all the kids since they showed up. Max isn’t able to get a reaction out her either.

“Here? You’re sure?” Dustin asks, and all the kids start talking at once. Nancy leans towards him.

“Should we get Hopper and Joyce?” Yes. Yes, they should. They need to, really.

“I don’t think the kids will wait, even though it’s the smart thing to do.” They’re not unprepared; the kids have their little weapons, he knows Nancy has two pistols on her, and he’s got an ordinary bat, because El was not going to wait for him to hammer nails into this one.

“We have to go.” El looks at him, with all the seriousness and gravity of someone more than double her age, and points at the mini-gate ahead.

The edges are flickering, like it’s going to close soon.

It probably will.

“I am going.” She tells them. “They will come with me.”

“I know.” Jonathan says. They don’t have time to wait, and the kids won’t accept a couple of them staying behind to let his mom and Hopper know what’s happened.

Stepping in front of them, bat raised, he walks through the gate first.

Steve sees the faint glow of a gate, maybe a mile and a half away—he’s never been great at tracking distances.

He can’t run very fast; his legs won’t cooperate with that.

But he tries. He jogs as fast as he can, and eventually, he can see something—someone?—on the other side.

They come through—a group of people—and he’s too late. He’s too late, because the gate closes behind them.

If he had anything to bet, he'd bet that he knows exactly who they are, and what they're doing.

He sees the demogorgon before they do.

finish on ao3 or keep reading below

If he’s right—if they came after him—he can’t let them die. He can’t let them die for him. He pushes himself harder, faster, feels the still-healing bites on his ankles rip back open, start bleeding.

Good. It will draw it away from them.

He launches himself in front of them.

Swings the bat.

Feels it connect.

Rips it out.

Aims for the head.

Over and over again, ignoring the shouting behind him. There’s another one, circling, but it’s staying back for now.

Something bumps his shoulder, but when he glances over, it’s only Jonathan, standing back to back with him, his own bat raised.

Just a regular bat, though. It will hold them off a little, but it’s not great.

Nancy’s got a pistol out. Lucas has that little slingshot at the ready.

He can’t let them get hurt.

When the second one circles close enough, he goes for the torso on purpose, hoping to lead it away.

He doesn’t see the other two—demodogs, not fully grown yet, thankfully—behind it.

They bite and claw at him; he’s so close to them he can hardly hear the gunshots.

Jonathan pulls him away, looking… angry?

“Steve, what the fuck?” He asks. “Why did you do that?”

“You didn’t… see… the first one… coming.” Steve barely manages to catch his breath enough to speak. He’s never really been a great runner.

“No, I get that. Why take that one,” He nudges the second corpse with the tip of his bat, “alone?”

“I’m not letting any of you get hurt.” He looks them over, the kids’ faces all strained with worry and fear, Nancy still holding her pistol tightly. “I swear it, I’ll protect you all, or I’ll die trying.”

“Steve.” Nancy gasps, and he knows she didn’t mean to say it that way, like it was wrenched from the depths of her soul, from the look on her face.

“Come on.” He pushes against Jonathan a little, stepping towards the kids, even though standing by himself hurts. It’s worse than it’s been in days, but they really can’t afford to stay out here. He can’t protect them all in the open like this, and Nancy will run out of bullets if they’re not careful. “I don’t really have a hideout, I’ve just kind of been sleeping in trees. But we’ve got to get you all somewhere safe.”

"Hurt." El slips her warm little hand into his free one.

"I'll be okay," He tells her, remembering her lying rule. "We can take care of it when we’re safe.”

He needs to get them out of here.

El squeezes his hand, hard. God, she’s just a kid. A little girl. She shouldn't see him like this.

None of the kids should, and he wants to be pissed at Nancy and Jonathan for bringing them here, but he doesn’t have time right now. They can't stay out in the open.

“Where are we going, Steve?” Dustin comes around his other side.

“My place.” He says. He hasn’t actually been there yet—he’s been avoiding it; it’s probably not much better in the Upside Down than in it is Hawkins—but it’s closer than the Byers’. He probably wouldn’t make it there, at this rate.

That, and his packets of crackers are barely enough to keep him fed. He doesn’t know how long they’re going to be in here for, doesn’t know when—or if—another gate will open anytime soon.

“How long has it been?” He asks as the kids gather around him, mindful of the nailbat.

“Nearly two weeks.” Nancy answers. “We haven’t found another gate. El could tell us you were alive, but she couldn’t pinpoint where you were.”

“I’ve been moving a lot.” He nods to one of his marks on the trees. “Trying to find a gate or something.”

“Yeah.” He can feel their eyes on the back of his head, even as the kids start whispering to each other and asking him questions.

He does his best not to think about how hurt Jonathan looked when he pushed him away. It's not Jonathan actually cares, anyway. He's probably only here for the kids' sake.

“This looks bad, Steve.” He’d only let Nancy in to help clean and bandage the wounds because El had stared him down. He can handle this himself, and from Nancy’s frown, she’s not too happy about it either. But he doesn’t need to get in a fight with a superpowered pre-teen today.

“It’s been nearly two weeks, they were healing. Ripped back open today. This is the worst they’ve been in a while.” Steve leans back against the mirror. The rot of Upside Down doesn’t seem to have infected his house like it has the woods, or maybe he’s just used to how things look here now.

That, and if he’s not facing the mirror, he doesn’t have to think about how he must look—probably pale and unwell, with too-long hair and an unshaven face.

His mother would throw a fit if she saw him.

“What have you been eating?” She asks. “Most of the food here doesn’t look edible.”

“It isn’t.” He doesn’t bother to hide the wince as she tightens the bandages. She’d call him on it if he did, and he doesn’t have the energy for that lecture right now. “I’ve got crackers.”

“Crackers?”

“If you know about more food around here, feel free to go get it. I checked the school first. I tried town first, you know. Got chased out. That’s how I got these in the first place.”

“We’re going to get out of here.”

Spoken like someone who hasn’t been looking for a way out for two weeks.

“Yeah, we need to get the kids out.” He agrees, and it’s not what she wants him to say, but Will’s already been stuck here, and he still has ‘asthma’ attacks fairly often.

Joyce and Hopper wore Hazmat suits when they came in here. They have none of that protection.

By the time he’d realized he should be wearing something over his mouth and nose, it’d been a few days. They had in the tunnels, but he’d been more concerned with other things at the time.

“If there are clothes that aren’t infected here, use them as masks.” He hops down from the counter. “We don’t have anything to cover our eyes, but we should limit exposure as much as we can. Especially for Will.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve survived two weeks, Nancy.” It’s a little mean, but he doesn’t care about being nice right now. She and Jonathan are one thing—ideally, none of them should ever be here, but all the kids?

They can be stubborn but they’re also all like five feet tall, it’s not that hard to shove them to the ground.

“Steve.” Nancy’s hands are on his face when he looks at her again. They’re warm, and he wonders how cold his skin feels to her.

Everything feels so cold here. As much as he wants to pull away, he can’t make himself do it, savoring the warmth for a moment.

“What’s going on? You spaced out.”

Fuck. He hadn’t had anyone to confirm those episodes, and he can’t tell time here anyway.

“I’ll be okay.” He steps out of her reach. “Don’t worry about me. We need a plan.”

“The kids have been making one around the kitchen table the whole time we’ve been up here, I think we can spare a few minutes.”

“And those few minutes don’t need to be in the Upside Down. The sooner we get out of here, the better.”

He walks around her when she doesn’t move out of his way.

“Steve.” He turns to look at her, watches the way her brow scrunches as she looks him up and down again. “You don’t have to pretend.”

“Pretend what?”

“Don’t play dumb, it really doesn’t suit you. You’ve always been good at reading people, you know exactly what I mean.”

“Later, Nance.” He doesn’t want to explain to her—with the kids probably listening right outside the door, because she says they’re at the table but they’re all too curious for their own good—that he’s been in pain, cold, starving, and terrified out of his mind for the better part of two weeks and that he’s drained, he’s tired of all it. And when they weren’t here it wasn’t as much of a problem—he could sleep in any tree he wanted, pretty much, as long as he could climb it. Now he has to figure out how to feed them all and keep them all safe. Sure, Nancy’s got her pistols, Jonathan’s got that new bat of his, but she’ll run out of bullets eventually and a regular wooden bat isn’t very effective against demogorgons.

Of course, El’s here too, but he doesn’t want her to fight if she doesn’t need to. Her powers take a lot out of her and she shouldn’t need to worry about that, or protecting her friends.

“Steve! Are you gonna die?” Dustin doesn’t even wait until the door is fully open, and Steve lets himself laugh.

“No, shithead. I’m not going to die. Don’t worry about me. We have a plan to make, remember?” Dustin nods and immediately starts talking, which means the others all start putting in their own ideas.

They’re so easily redirected at times, it’s almost funny.

What it really serves as is a reminder for young they are, all over again.

He’s not paying much attention to what Jonathan is doing, so he nearly falls over when he wraps a warm arm around Steve’s waist.

“You look like you’re going to fall over, man. Let us help you for once.” He doesn’t sound mad, not the way he did earlier, but Jonathon Byers is one person he’s never been good at reading, no matter how many times he tries. Will is a little easier—he’s still a kid, and the amount of trust he and the rest of the kids put in Steve helps.

Most days, he’s not even sure that Jonathan likes him, let alone trusts him.

Actually, these days, he knows Jonathan doesn't like him.

“Thanks?” It comes out as more of a question than he intends, and he ignores the ‘subtle’ look Nancy and Jonathan share. Since when do they want to help him?

“Nancy, do you remember where my bedroom is?” He asks. “We need to get stuff for masks. And maybe some of it can be ripped up for bandages.”

“Do you think we’ll need more, Steve?” Will’s at the bottom of the stairs, eyes wide. “Are you bleeding a lot?” He and El have stayed a few steps behind the other kids, and Max is half-turned toward them like she’s listening in, too.

“Nah, little Byers, but it’s good to be prepared, right?” He detaches himself from Jonathan and manages the last few steps on his own, ruffling Will’s hair. “Like you would in your dungeon game, right?”

“Dungeons and Dragons, Steve, come on.” Will rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling a little bit. Will’s caught onto his little game of pretending he doesn’t know what Dungeons and Dragons is called, but none of the others have yet.

“You can’t keep hiding things from them.” Jonathan says quietly. “They’re going to be insufferable when they find out.”

“Yeah. ‘Friends don’t lie.’ I know. But for now, they don’t need to be worried about me. We need to get out.”

“And you think any of us is going to let you stay behind and play bait?” Now he’s upset, moving into Steve’s space, and it would be so easy to shove him away, but he doesn’t really want to.

Jonathan’s warm, and everything here is so cold.

And because, even though he knows it's only so the kids don't overhear, for a second Steve can pretend it's because Jonathan cares.

Not the time to think about that.

“Or were you going to leave that part out?” Nancy’s holding what looks like a drawerful of his clothes. “You can distract them all you want, Steve, I know you.”

Does she?

They haven’t exchanged much more than small talk in months, even before he overheard their conversation.

He knows better than to tread where he’s not wanted, no matter how much it hurts.

Watching Steve turn away stings more than she thought it would. Jonathan takes half of the clothes out of her arms, giving her a look.

“He wants us to use them as masks.”

“And he hasn’t had one this whole time because…”

“His old bandages were ripped from the clothes he’s wearing.” He didn’t have anything else.

“Did he tell you anything?”

“Not really.” Steve’s good at figuring other people out, but when it comes to himself, he either doesn’t care to—or maybe he doesn’t know how.

Nancy pauses. Steve had zoned out, but only for a few minutes. It might not be anything.

It could be something here affecting him. Does he even know that he’s been zoning out? What if it had happened while he was climbing a tree, or fighting off a demogorgon?

Or it could be from the concussions he’s had lately. She’s noticed that he’s been getting migraines more than he ever used to.

It scares her.

It scares her, because after Hargrove beat him up, Hopper had had to go after him when he’d tried to walk home, and it wasn’t until Joyce saw his face in daylight the next morning that she’d insisted he go to the hospital.

That had been a fight. The kids had been stumbling over themselves to talk in between calling their parents and making plans to get home.

She knows his parents weren’t home. He wouldn’t have tried to leave if they were.

He had to have lied about Joyce and Hopper about it; there’s no way they would have let him stay by himself.

She’d been pissed at herself when she’d seen him at school the next week, bruises looking worse than ever, and had realized that she hadn’t even thought to mention that he was probably alone to anyone.

She hadn’t even checked up on him once. She doesn’t know if Hopper or Joyce did. IF they had, they hadn’t mentioned it.

Out of habit, she checks that her pistols are in place.

“What’s that for?” Mike asks, just a little too loudly.

“Arts and Crafts, Wheeler, get with the program.” Steve deadpans. Mike glares at him, but when Lucas elbows him he doesn’t say anything.

“Steve thought we should all have something to cover our faces,” Nancy explains. “Tie it around your mouth and nose.” She hadn’t really gone through them earlier, but t-shirts should work, right? They’ll be really big for their intended purpose, sure, but that just means they can double or triple fold them.

More layers might be better protection, too.

She ties hers on as the kids help each other with theirs. As soon as Steve has tied Max’s into place, she turns around and holds out a hand.

“Aw, Maxie, are you going soft on us now?” Steve teases, voice lilting a little, and she kind of hates the way it makes her heart lurch. He used to tease Holly with that tone.

He used to tease her with that tone. They're not friendly enough for it now, and it just reminds her of how much she's been missing him.

A little ridiculous, really, because he’s been right here the whole time.

“Never.” She scoffs. “I’m just making sure you set a good example.”

And even though she knows it’s different, she misses when things were that easy between them.

“Hey, Steve.” She catches his attention when the kids have moved away. She probably should have asked earlier, while they were still upstairs. It would have spared him some pain, at least. “Did you want to change?”

“Yeah, I probably should.” But he doesn’t stand up right away, and when he does he’s leaning on the table for a long moment before he straightens and takes the set of clothes she’d grabbed for him.

She doesn’t even have to look at Jonathan for him to follow Steve out, in case he falls or something.

Steve’s not going to be happy that they’re hovering, but he’s scaring her.

Nancy’s also worried that he’s hiding another injury from them—something more immediately dangerous than his ankles.

“Is Steve okay?” Dustin asks, looking ready to go after them. Steve would hate the kids seeing him like that even more than he will Jonathan, though.

“He’ll be okay. He’s just worried about all of you.” She tells him. She doesn’t want to lie to the kids, but Steve might actually kill her if she tells them the whole truth. “He’s figured out how to survive here alone, and even though we want to help him, he has to worry about us now too.”

“We can take care of ourselves!” Mike protests, and she shoots him a look. “El has powers!”

El shakes her head. “I have been using them to find Steve.”

“Well, you still have them!”

“Steve does not want me to use them.” She answers, in that calm, serious way of hers. It would be unnerving if Nancy wasn’t so used to it.

“We can talk about that later. What have you figured out so far?” She tries to redirect. Will’s got a piece of paper in front of him, and he’s been sketching a very rough map of the woods.

She’s not sure where he found it, or if he’d brought it in. She’s not sure it’s worth it to ask right now.

“Steve said he’s been sleeping in trees, right? Maybe he’s noticed more unusual spots.” Lucas nods to the map. “Maybe he can mark them for us.” The kids are off again, going over what Will remembers—which he’s never been the most forthcoming about—and their own theories.

Nancy leaves them to it and goes to raid the kitchen. She’d only taken a glance earlier, but it turns out what Steve said is true.

Everything that’s cold is bad. He’s got some wrapped foods that might be okay, but she’s not sure how much she wants to risk someone getting sick here.

“Nance?” Jonathan’s voice pulls her from her cupboard search.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, nothing happened.” He glances back into the dining room and lowers his voice. “Just wanted to know what you found.”

“Not a lot. These might be okay,” She shakes the still-sealed box of pop tarts, “But pretty much everything else is bad. He’s been living off crackers.”

“Mom is going to freak out.”

“At least it’s a weekend?” It's a ridiculous thing to say—they have no idea when they’ll get out of here.

They don't even know what time it is. It’s so dark here.

“Yeah, I guess.” They check all the cupboards, but there’s not much else, only a few cans that aren’t covered in Upside Down mold.

It won’t be enough for all of them for long, and she doesn't trust anything left open, so they’re probably going to have to split one can at a time until they’re out.

God, she hopes they’re out of here soon.

<- 2 4 ->

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heizenka · 2 years ago

Text

⚘ Brother!Billy Hargrove x f!sister reader

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

— content warnings: Season 3 spoilers, season 4 spoilers, references to death, ANGST(I cried writing this oml)

— word count: 0.8k

Inspired by: Heroes by Peter Gabriel

The world around me felt quiet as I walked away from the car, towards the quiet field. My head for once, was quiet. There were no thoughts of regret, guilt, or even anger for what happened that night at the mall.

The folded piece of paper felt weightless in my hand, though it held the heavy thoughts that have been stuck in my head for months, the months that were spent without him.

I stopped walking when I reached the headstone I dreaded seeing again.

BILLY HARGROVE

MAR 29 1967

JUL 4 1985

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

My heart felt heavy once my eyes read the headstone over, even though I had it memorized since the last time I saw it.

His funeral.

I sat down in front of the neat headstone, swiping a few leaves off the bottom of it. I looked down at the paper in my hand for a few seconds, contemplating whether or not I actually wanted to read it.

A heavy breath left my body before I decided to unfold the paper and read it, besides if death was going to come so soon why not clear my head first.

Dear Billy,

I know that you hated me, since the very day I was born you only saw me as a problem in your life. And for a really long time I felt the same way.

But I realize now that I was wrong, and I'm sorry.

But if someone told me a year ago I would be sitting at you grave and grieving over your death, I would think they were mental. Because why would I mourn you? The only thing you have ever done for is take me to school, hell sometimes you didn't even do that. You would ditch me for some hookup.

But I realize now you did so much more foe me, but I just never thought to notice.

Whenever I would do something that I knew dad would get mad about, you always somehow managed to get into bigger trouble, or start a fight with him. You made sure that I never had to deal with him, or the the things he would do if he found out.

I always thought that I would spend my entire life hating you, but what do I know? I just learned that I may die in less that 24 hours, so I just going to stop assuming I know anything thing anymore.

But the worst part about all of this is that I want to be able to not care that your gone, to keep living my life like you weren't killed by some monster from another dimension right in front of me.

I keep thinking back to that day, thinking that I should have tried to get you to change your mind about saving El, thinking that I should have been the one to have taken your place.

Maybe it wouldn't hurt as much as missing you. Maybe you would still be here, and everything would be right again.

But I don't have powers like El, I can't fix this, I can't go back to that day and take your spot, and I can't change what dad did to you.

I imagine that if you were still here, nothing between us would have changed. Or, maybe it would. Maybe we could have been friends, like a real brother and sister.

But your not here, and nothing can change that

I'm sorry.

I'm so so sorry Billy.

Love you shitty little sister, Y/N

I let out a heavy breath, folding the paper back into it's original form and shoving it in my pocket.

I wiped the stay tears that managed to escape my eyes before standing up to walk back to the car, but before I took a step, the sky around me turned dark.

I looked around me, everything was the same, just darker.

"Hey Y/N." It felt like I was just stabbed in the chest as I heard Billy's voice from behind me.

I slowly turned around, my eyes met with his grey eyes, the eyes that I haven't seen since he died.

Tears slowly fell down my face, the only thing I wanted to do was run up to him and give him a hug, tell him everything that I wanted to say but didn't get the chance to.

He stood there, he didn't move.

But a small smile formed on his face, and he opened his arms, he opened his arms for me.

A sob escaped my mouth, my heart felt so heavy in my chest, I didn't know what to do.

He walked towards me, and the closer he got the more my heart hurt, I just wanted to be with him. I wanted to be able to be held in my big brother's arms for the first time.

So I let him get closer, until he had me in his arms. He felt so warm as he held me tightly, I cried into his chest and wrapped my arms around him.

I was finally with my big brother again, and I never wanted it to end.

Even if it now meant that I had to join him in death.

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tirednerd2012 · 2 years ago

Note

I can see them in the van explaining everything to Argyle to catch him up. Argyle can't believe that Will went missing for a couple of days. But when he says that out loud, Jonathan corrects him saying that it was for seven days. Seven long days. Because for him, it was days he wishes he could forget but can't. That his little brother was scared and alone, missing for seven days.

The boys would be asleep by this point. It's late and Jonathan is the one driving so Argyle can rest, but he's still processing everything he found out. He can't sleep and he's surprised Will and Mike are able to because holy shit, did they just forget they buried a body? Jonathan kept looking back to check on Will, as if he didn't want him to hear the story all over again.

"I can't believe he went missing for a couple days."

"Seven."

"What?" Argyle asks.

"He went missing for seven days. From Sunday night until the following Sunday. He was in that hellhole for a week," Jonathan corrected him. Argyle takes a moment to realize the severity of what Jonathan was saying.

He remembered the sheer panic Jonathan had during the first week of school when they couldn't find Will. The parking lot in Lenora was much bigger than the one at Hawkins High and Will simply got lost on his way out. El seemed concerned but Jonathan was downright panicked. They all looked for him and eventually found him wandering the parking lot as the cars thinned out. Jonathan darted to his brother's side and hugged him. Argyle always figured it had been the nerves of the move and Jonathan had struck him as a high strung person anyway, but Argyle realizes he must have genuinely been scared Will was gone.

Everything about it made sense. Even when they were high out of their minds, the moment Will coughed, Jonathan would look over and watch, as if trying to figure something out. His eyes would cloud with concern and worry. Will being so quiet all the time, El not knowing a lot of things he thought a teenage girl would know. Why Jonathan was so protective and defensive of them both and why he struggled to let Will go out alone, always offering to drive him.

Argyle looks back at his best friend with a new realization about what his family had been through and what they're all facing again. And he knows Jonathan. He knows the dude is scared out of his mind that his sister isn't safe and his brother is in danger again and it terrifies him.

Then, in the silence, Jonathan informs Argyle that he was the one who planned Will's funeral. He was 16 and he picked out his little brother's casket alone because Joyce was determined that Will wasn't gone. And she was right. Jonathan was just caught up with grief that he was convinced his mother had gone crazy. Argyle tries to comfort him with the fact that not believing Will was talking through the lights is a completely normal reaction and Jonathan just responds with that it didn't matter, because his reaction was still wrong. Argyle knows Will wouldn't want him to think like that, but before it can become an agrument, Jonathan just whispers how he felt the life drain out of him when they identified the body. He didn't get the best look at it, he just saw Will's face and that was enough. He threw up.

Then he confesses how he wanted to kill himself after the funeral. He mumbles the confession, barely audible just in case Will was faking being asleep. He sighs and then goes on to explain further before Argyle can freak out. He told him how dark his life was when Will died. He felt that part of him had died with Will. Especially back then, Will was his only source of happiness and he was his everything. Jonathan raised Will for as long as he could remember and the concept of failing him destroyed him. It was too hard to go on after. When Will died, the lights in Jonathan's world left with him. There was just a hole. And nothing could fix it.

But then Will was alive. And Jonathan got that light back. Will had never been the same after that, but Jonathan devoted everything he had into Will's recovery. He willingly threw away his shot with Nancy at that time because Will needed him and nothing else mattered.

"Sometimes I just think about how he was alone in that hell hole. He must have been so scared. And cold," Jonathan says and it's this moment when Argyle realizes Jonathan never spoke to anyone about this before. He'd always put it back because he didn't want to burden his family with his thoughts.

Then he looks back at Will again. He sees a young man, but he imagines him as a child, helpless and alone. He shudders at the thought of this kind-hearted, sassy kid who watched Argyle like a hawk those first few weeks he started hanging around Jonathan. When he asked why, Will simply answered that he needed to be sure Argyle wasn't going to hurt Jonathan's feelings, but when he warmed up to him, he welcomed him with open arms. Will, who loves his siblings more than anything else. Who held his sister when she was upset and cussed out a random senior who threatened to kick Jonathan's ass. And he was taken, ripped away from his home in the night.

And it hurts Argyle because what did this kid ever do to deserve this? He looks back at Jonathan and sees the pain in his eyes. This family never deserved to go through so much, but here they were, just trying to get by. Argyle apologizes for thinking Jonathan was so high strung when they met, and Jonathan laughed and said it was okay, he's always been high strung anyway, certain things just amplified it.

#stranger things #argyle #jonathan byers

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yurtletheturtlehenderson · 3 years ago

Text

COSMIC - S1:E3; Chapter Three, Holly, Jolly - [Pt. 2]

A Will Byers x Male!Reader Series

𝘞𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥, 𝘠/𝘯, 𝘔𝘪𝘬𝘦, 𝘋𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭. 𝘈 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘭 𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳.

WARNINGS: Mentions of [lots of] blood, use of the 'f' word literally ONCE, uhh, I think that's it?

|| 𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

El sits on the floor of Mike's basement, back to the couch. Candy wrappers and crumbs were scattered around a finished puzzle of a beautiful green forest. The strange plastic ship, floating in the air in front of her. It suddenly drops to the ground as her attention is brought to the Supercomm on the couch. She picks up the device and clicks it on, bored with the static that comes from the other end, she soon abandons the device and stands up.

She walks up the steps, eager to explore the house more. When she reaches the top of the steps, she cautiously peeks around the corner. When she decides no one is home and the coast is clear, she continues to explore the house.

With the house to herself, she had more time to linger, and appreciate and explore. It was fascinating to her, and yet it made her sad. Could she have had a life like this? She didn't know what to think when she admired every object, every picture on the wall. There was one in particular that caught her eye.

It was a small photograph, but you could tell it was important. It was another picture of Mike and his friends. Only, they were younger. They were playing and splashing around in the water, a lake it looked like, surrounded by beautiful green trees. Each of them had an arm wrapped around each other forming a line, and their pants were rolled up to their knees.

The young boy on the very left had messy black hair, who El immediately recognized as Mike. He was smiling brightly at her from the picture. A young Lucas to his right, who wore a rather proud grin. Dustin was looking at the two, more specifically Lucas; he had been laughing when the photo was taken.

Will, she believed his name was, had one scrawny arm draped loosely around Dustin, however, he had his full attention on a very cheery looking Y/n who stood proudly showing off a very small frog to the camera. He had daisies on his head, tangled in his hair, and a gleaming smile showed off a missing tooth. He was holding the frog so delicately.

But it wasn't Y/n, or even Mike that caught her eye. It was the way Will was looking at Y/n. His eyes held a certain fondness and appreciation, his smile warm and genuine. El tilted her head ever so slightly, thinking. Something deep inside her was gnawing at her, a feeling that was foreign to her. Shaking her head, she moved on to the rest of the living room.

She went back to the funny chair Mike had shown her and took a seat. She reached over and pulled on the lever, sending her back and forth as it kicked her feet out. She looked around curiously as the chair rocked her back and forth.

El noticed the weird device on the table beside her and picked it up. It was a strange curved thing attached by a curly wire. It had many buttons, every one of them had a number on them. It let out a strange noise, barely audible from the top. She brought it up to her ear to listen to the endless monotone hum. Not knowing what else to do she mimicked the tone, just for fun before putting it back.

She stood up from the chair and sat herself down on her knees in front of the TV. Curious, she ran her fingers down the side until she felt the button and pressed it. A brief crackle of static rang out and as soon as it came on it was replaced with the voice of an older man, the screen lit up in front of her.

"...was occupying a large part of Lebanon. Today, Syria has become a home for-"

Click.

El pressed another button.

The moving picture on the screen changed, where many bright flashes of color dance across the screen. A fake man with yellow hair held a sword as he exclaimed.

"I have the power!"

Click.

"...gift that will last forever. From the Harmony Treasures' collection-"

Click.

A beautiful melody came from the TV set and El's eyes widened in surprise.

Click.

"On the beach and in the sun"

El froze. She recognized the rolling tin can that appeared on the TV. Her breathing began to quicken as she fought the memories back.

- 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

The all too familiar humming and beeping of the machines echoed off of the cold, isolating walls. Eleven sat at the same table, with the same camera facing the same window with the same adults who watch her and study her. Nothing was new, and she feared nothing ever would be. All she wants is to go this over with. Wanting to get the damn wires off of her head.

Yet, she sat still, compliant, unmoving. Never taking her eyes off of Papa as she watched him hand the clipboard to one of the men and give her a nod of his head. She turned her head and attention to the small Coke drink. Her eyes bore into the empty can and she concentrated.

Her head shook ever so slightly as she focused, straining. It was difficult, but she was able to do it. The can caved into itself with a loud 'crack' and it wasn't until the monitors stopped did she realize how loud they had been. She looked back to Papa, looking for his approval.

He stood unmoving, a glimmer of satisfaction in his eyes. She felt her nose run damp, a warm liquid oozed from her nose. She blinked, confused and slowly brought her hand up to her upper lip, realizing she was bleeding. She looked to Papa, expectantly. He only smiled a cold empty grin.

- 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗙𝗟𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞 -

"Coke is it! Coke is it!"

El quickly pushed the first button, shutting the TV off. Breathing heavily, she stood up and made her way to the basement.

|| 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕 ||

My back was beginning to hurt from hunching over for so long, but nevertheless, I continued looking. Lucas needs ammo for his wrist rocket, so naturally, the four of us were currently scouring the schoolyard for rocks.

"How about this one?" Mike asks, walking up to Dustin.

Dustin examines the rock Mike handed to him.

"Too big for the sling." He shrugs, tossing the rock to the grass. "So, do you think Eleven was born with her powers, like the X-Men, or do you think she acquired them, like... like Green Lantern?"

"She's not a superhero. She's a weirdo." Lucas says as he searches for that.

"You don't know that," I mumble, Lucas, however, doesn't hear me.

"Why does that matter? The X-Men are weirdos." Mike adds.

Lucas turns to Mike, agitated. "If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?"

I roll my eyes, and straighten up, stretching out my back.

"What are you talking about?" Mike sighs.

"Mike, seriously?"

"What?"

"You look at her all, like... 'Hi, El! El! El! El! I love you so much!'" Lucas teases, grabbing Mike in for a hug before getting down on one knee. "'Would you marry me?' I'm telling you, man, you're just as bad as Will!" He stood back up when he said the last-

'Wait...What?'

"What?" I asked, completely thrown off.

The boys freeze, Lucas especially. Lucas excluded, the boys all look at me with awkward smiles on their faces. Dustin chuckles and gives a still frozen Lucas a few pats on the arm.

"Good job, man. Real smooth."

"Guys, what is going on?" I asked exasperated, crossing my arms.

"Shit," Lucas whispers, closing his eyes.

"Lucas..."

Mike wears a triumphant grin on his face and looks expectantly at Lucas.

"Yeah, Lucas. Tell him."

Lucas sighs, and stiffly turns around, his change of attitude dramatic. He looks around once or twice before growing stern with me.

"You, and Will?" He suggests.

"What about us? What does that have to do with- Oh come on... You can't be serious. He does not like me."

"Literally everyone knows he is totally in love with you." He scoffs.

I scoff in return. "Love? Don't you think you're being a little dramatic? Not to mention, ridiculous?"

"Am I wrong?" He turns to the boys, who hesitantly shrug.

He turns back to me, a look screaming 'There you have it.'

"That doesn't prove anything! We're best friends! So what if we're close?"

He laughs. "Yeah, just as close as Nancy and Steve! And you're no better. You just haven't realized it yet."

"W-What? W-what ar- No!" My words are caught in my throat and I felt my cheeks begin to burn.

'No, I don't!'

It takes moments for me to recover. "Okay, let's say you're right. Let's say he does love me. How can you know for sure, huh? It's not like he told you!"

"Uhh, yeah! Might as well have. He didn't deny it!"

My heart stops, and I feel butterflies erupt in my stomach.

'Will? And me?'

"Look what we have here!"

'Oh, God. Not now.'

I roll my eyes and before I can stop myself I speak. "What do you want, Troll?"

My eyes widen at my sudden boldness but I remain confident. I stare down the two boys who have been bullying us for as long as we've attended this school.

"You better watch your mouth, freak-"

"Back off!" Dustin yells, cutting him off.

Troy looks over to Dustin, looking prepared to throw more insults at my brother but something changes his mind and he cools off. A smug smile tugs at his lips.

"Or what?" Troy spits.

Dustin falls silent, and Troy continues.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. What are you losers doing back here anyway?"

"Probably looking for their missing friend." Troy's goon laughs.

Anger begins to take over and my blood starts to boil.

"That's not funny. It's serious. He's in danger." Dustin immediately cuts in.

"I hate to break it to you, Toothless, but he's not in danger. He's dead. That's what my dad says."

'Where's that damn rock?'

"He said he was probably killed by some other queer."

I feel a lurch in my chest, and I can practically feel my vision going red.

"Come on. Just ignore them." Mike soothes, not only to me but to Dustin and Lucas as well.

He's right. I need to get out of here. I storm off, ready to shove him in the shoulder as I pass but suddenly I feel something catch my foot and I fall to the ground. A sudden wave of searing pain explodes on my chin when I hit the ground.

Dazed and confused, I push myself up enough to see a large, rather bloody rock just inches from my face.

I groan, rolling over on my back, I hear laughing and frantic footsteps.

"Y/n!" Dustin and Mike run over to me, Lucas storms up to Troy.

Dustin and Mike each grab an arm and help me sit up. I hesitantly bring a hand up to my chin and I hiss in pain. I look at my fingers and they are absolutely covered in blood.

'Holy crap.'

I groan and look to Lucas worried. He stands firm and tall, right up in Troy's face.

"Leave us. The fuck. Alone." He says through clenched teeth.

My eyes triple in size, surprised by Lucas's actions.

Troy and his friend laugh and walk away. Repeating Lucas in a mocking voice.

"You okay Y/n?" He reaches out his hand.

I gladly take it. However, I get a little lightheaded as I stand. "Shit, that's a lot of blood."

I look down and I see splots of blood already sprinkling my shirt.

'Great. This will be easy to explain to mom.'

"You still have that first aid kit?"

I close my eyes, sighing.

"Crap. No. I left it at Mike's." I sigh.

"We better get you to the nurse's office then."

"No, I-I'm fine." I sigh, wincing at the pain.

"Are you sure? You're bleeding, like a lot." Mike says.

"Yeah, I'm good. As long as I stop the bleeding, I'll be fine.. My body has always been able to heal quicker than most, anyways."

"He's right. I've seen it."

I offer a small smile. "Well, I at least better go get a tissue or something. I'll be right back." I say.

The boys nod, and I head off to the bathroom. My mind wanders back to what Lucas was telling me earlier, and the weird feeling in my stomach returns...

#you'll float queue #stranger things #will byers x reader #reader insert #will byers #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #lucas sinclair #cosmic #y/n henderson #stranger things x reader #x m!reader #m!reader #x male!reader #holly jolly

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ambssssssssss · 3 years ago

Text

“I’m so sorry, Lena,” A harsh cough followed the words and Lena felt her eyes begin to fill with water. She was kneeling in the broken streets of National City at Kara’s sighed, mindless of the destruction around them as the injured woman before her absorbed all of her attention.

“Hold on, Kara, just a few more minutes.” Lena found Kara’s bloody, shaking hand and grasped it with her own. Kara gave her a watery smile.

“We could’ve had so much time if I hadn’t been so scared.” There’s a strong current of regret in her tone and Lena feels as if she can’t breathe as she pulls Kara’s hand to her lips and presses a kiss against dirty knuckles.

“We’ll have time now, darling. All the time in the world.”

“I thought we promised not to lie to each other anymore.”

A long, uncomfortable pause followed. Kara’s breath grows more shallow by the second, but her eyes remain the same. The deep blue of her iris shines with that same adoration that Lena had always seen in them, and always felt unworthy of. Kara lifted the hand that Lena wasn’t holding on to desperately, ignoring the way her limbs trembled, to carefully cup Lena’s cheek.

This is the end. They both know it.

“No, Kara, please,” Lena can hear the desperation in her voice but ignored it just as resolutely as she ignored the tears falling from her eyes. Tears that Kara barely had the strength to gently brush away. “I can’t lose you again.”

“You never lost me, Lena, not for a single second.” The conviction in Kara’s voice is broken by the blood that slips past her lips as a cough tears through her throat. She collapses back against the broken asphalt after the fit subsides, landing on uneven ground with a pained groan. “I’ve always been yours, even when I wasn’t.”

The noise around them barely registers in Lena’s mind. The battle had been over for a few minutes at least, but Lena had paid no attention to the chaos around them. Kara, just as she had done since the day they met, commanded all of Lena’s attention. It isn’t until Kara coughs again that Lena realizes that she hadn’t been unconsciously blocking out anything going around them.

Kara’s cough echoes of the wreckage of a ruined city around them. If Lena had the strength to pull her gaze away from Kara’s slowly dimming eyes, she would have seen the veritable host of people around them falling to their knees as the consequences of this final battle hit home. They won, yes, but none of them thought that the cost would be so high.

Lena is dimly aware of another person settling on the other side of Kara, taking her hand and nearly gasping out Kara’s name in a choked cry. Even with the addition of Alex with them, Lena doesn’t tear her eyes away from Kara.

“I know, darling,” Lena grips Kara’s trembling hand tighter, wrapping both of her own around it and pressing a kiss to Kara’s knuckles again. “I think I always have. I should have said something sooner.”

“Better late than never,” Kara cracked a smile and just for a second, Lena could believe that she wasn’t watching the love of her life die right before her eyes. “Promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t blame yourself, for any of it.”

“Kara-”

“Promise me, Lena. None of this is your fault, or mine. It happened, and it sucks.” Kara smiled again as Lena released a rueful chuckle. “But you can’t let this stop you. Promise me that you won’t give up.”

“I promise Kara,” Lena leans over and seals her promise with a trembling kiss pressed to Kara’s forehead.

“Good.” Kara’s strength left her completely, her head fell to the ground and if not for Lena’s grip on her hand, the same would have been true of it as well. “Remember, I am always yours. Even when I’m not.”

Kara turns her head then, to Alex who sits on her left. Words are spoken by both of them but Lena doesn’t hear them. She can’t hear anything over the high pitched sound ringing in her ears and Kara’s last words playing on a loop in her mind.

They should have had so much more time. They should have had years to be together, truly together. Years without lies and secrets pulling them apart. Years of light and laughter and love, so much love that it would be bursting out of them. The kind of love that couldn’t be contained. They should have had it all but now they only had minutes.

They only have minutes and Kara doesn’t know how Lena feels. A sudden panic seizes Lena as she realizes that minutes are quickly receding into seconds and Kaa still doesn’t know.

“Kara,” even to her own ears, Lena’s voice sounds so far away. “Kara, I love you.”

There’s no ignoring the tears now, they fall from Lena’s eyes unbidden. But Kara is smiling at Lena, that special, bright smile that always made Lena feel like she was the one who could fly.

Kara’s smile remains as her eyes fall closed and her body goes limp. Kara’s smile remains as she exhales, whispering Lena’s name with her last breath.

Supergirl dies a hero, mourned and celebrated by many.

Kara Danvers dies to the sound of her sister crying beside her.

Kara Zor-El dies smiling in the embrace of the woman she loves most.

Lena woke up feeling as if that last image of Kara’s smile had been burned into her retinas. The dream, memory, ends in the same place it always does, the moment before the realization of what she had just witnessed sinks in. Lena wakes with soul crushing despair settling deep in her chest so that her breath in a new day is little more than a broken sob. It takes a few minutes for Lena to gather herself enough to climb out of bed and reach for her phone. The move is calculated. Lena knows that if she had reached for her phone first, she wouldn’t have gotten out of bed.

Every other day, Lena had been able to push herself through it. She could almost pretend that everything was normal, until she caught herself trying to call Kara and invite her to lunch. Even after two weeks, Lena’s first instinct was still to call Kara. The hope that maybe the dream had been a nightmare rather than a memory and Kara would answer when she called had been all that kept Lena going for the past 14 days.

The day of Kara’s funeral had pulled that hope to a crashing halt.

There had been a service for Supergirl the day before. It felt like all of National City had been there, human and alien alike. All the heroes that Kara had worked with over the years were there, a few of them people that Lena had only met briefly before the wave of dark matter destroyed all of their worlds. The Flash had a few words to say. Cat Grant had barely held her tears in. Superman openly cried as he said goodbye to his last blood relative. Lena had watched it all with a blank expression, Alex’s hand in hers.

Lena had made her way to Midvale on her own and was one of the last to arrive at Kara’s childhood home. Eliza had greeted her with a hug and a far too knowing look. Lena had slept in Kara’s bed and refused to cry until she was sure that no one would hear her.

Now, Lena pulled on the dark outfit she had selected the night before and made her way downstairs. Alex and Eliza met her at the bottom of the stairs and led her to where Clark and Lois were standing with J’onn. Eliza pulled Lena into another hug while Lois looked as if she was the only one in the room who could understand Lena’s pain. Everyone was treating Lena like she was Kara’s widow and Lena wasn’t sure she would ever recover from that.

She had Kara had never been together. They hadn’t gone on dates or celebrated anniversaries. They’d never even kissed and yet Lena still felt like a piece of her heart had been broken beyond repair. She wasn’t Kara’s widow but she was Kara’s someday and that was somehow worse.

How could Lena mourn what she’d never had in the first place?

Kara’s funeral had been short. She wouldn’t have wanted all of her friends and family to spend hours crying over her. Kara had been a ray of sunshine, a becon of joy. Although tears were shed, everyone wanted to follow Kara’s wishes so it soon turned to a memorial rather than a funeral. As everyone had been distracted by Alex’s story of the first time Kara saved her, Lena didn’t think anyone would notice when she stepped onto the back patio. She nearly jumped in surprise when a masculine voice called her name.

“Sorry,” Clark said as he stepped up beside her. Lena hummed her acceptance of the apology but didn’t say a word.

They stood together in silence for a few minutes. If it had been any other time, Lena might have made a joke about a Super and a Luthor but it didn’t feel right with her Super missing. Eventually, Lena can see Clark’s shoulders sag and knows that the silence is about to be broken.

“She was always so much stronger than me.” Clark speaks in a low, haunted voice. “I’ll never be able to thank her for righting my worst wrong.”

There’s a heavy set to his shoulders and a distant glint in his eyes that makes Lena feel foolish for forgetting where all this conflict had started. Lex had killed Kara, but it was Clark that turned Lex into a staunch believer in the superiority of man. It was Clark who faced Lex time and time again. CLark who wasn’t strong enough to deal the blow that would have ended all of this conflict. It was Clark’s weakness that had pushed Kara into that position, and Clark’s cowardice that cost Kara her life.

The urge to hate Clark for his inaction is strong, so strong it makes Lena’s stomach clench and her hands tremble. It would be all too easy to blame Clark for losing Kara, but Lena knows that it wouldn’t be fair to him. There’s plenty of blame to go around but Clark doesn’t truthfully deserve any of it. Lex does. For targeting Kara and dealing the fatal blow, but most of them blame falls on Lena herself. For her own war against Supergirl, for the experiments that gave Lex his powers, for not being strong enough to defeat him on her own.

Kara would still be with them if not for Lena’s failures.

“But there is something I can do for her, if you’re willing to help me.”

It takes a moment for Lena to realize that Clark’s statement had been a request. She looks at him, blinking in askance.

“Follow me,” Clark, in a move that Lena would never have expected to come from him, gently took Lena’s hand into his own and guided her down the porch steps towards the beach. Agreeing to Clark’s request that she wait there for a moment, Lena tries to settle her nerves. When Clark returns, Lena knows that there is nothing she could have done to prepare herself.

Clark touches down gently a few feet away from Lena and in the space between them hovers a sleek, grey pod. The black surface on the outside fades to clear and suddenly Lena can see Kara.

She looks peaceful in death, Lena thinks, like she finally dropped all the weight she had been carrying for so long.

“On Krypton, when a woman died,” Clark swallows roughly. “It was tradition for the oldest female member of the House to speak Rao’s blessing over them.”

Clark meets Lena’s gaze evenly.

“I know that would be Eliza here, or Alura if she had come, but I also know that Kara would have wanted it to be you.”

“Clark,” Lena hesitated, “Kal, I don’t know.”

“I know what you mean to her. Meant.” Even though they had been doing so all day, hearing Kara referred to in the past tense hurt deeply and Lena felt the tears welling for what must have been the thousandth time.

“Okay,” Lena agreed with a shaky nod. Clark handed her a small piece of paper from his pocket and then turned his gaze to the pod containing Kara’s still form.”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

Lena was sure that she would never be ready to say goodbye to Kara but there was no sense in waiting. Voice thick with tears and barely above a whisper, Lena began to read.

“You have been the sun of our lives. Our prayers will be the sun that lights your way on the journey home. We will remember you in every dawn and await the night we join you in the sky. Rao’s will be done.”

They stood there for a moment with only the sound of the waves crashing against the beach breaking the still air. Then, with a heavy breath like he was steeling himself for the hardest moment of his life, Clark lifted the casket into the air with him. A moment later, Kara returned to the stars that had brought her home.

Clark returned to the Danver’s household while Lena remained on the beach by herself. There was a fleeting feeling of Lena wishing she had something to hold on to, a memento of Kara’s. The feeling faded only to be replaced with a much stronger wish to simply have Kara there with her. The feeling was strong that for a moment, Lena felt the soft, familiar warmth of Kara’s hand in her own, their fingers resting together easily. As time stretched on, Lena let herself be lost in the phantom feeling of what could have been, until the sound of a car door closing shattered the dream and brought Lena crashing back to reality.

A reality where Kara was gone.

Suddenly, the beach felt just as stifling as the house had been.

Realizing that her moment with the ghost of Kara’s memory was over, Lena turned to make her way back to the house.

Only Kara’s closest friends remained at the house. Clark, Lois, and Lucy were sitting together on the couch, the two normally argumentative sisters silent in their grief. Barry and Iris were curled together in a chair, Barry staring blankly ahead as Iris watched him in concern. Caitlin and Cisco sat together on the floor in front of Barry and Iris, their shoulders pressed together. Ava sat in the other chair with Sara leaning against her legs, her fingers idly wrapping a strand of Sara’s hair around and around. The other Legends must have gone back to the Waverider. Alex and Eliza sat together on the loveseat and made room between them for Lena.

It was odd, Lena decided as she took the seat provided for her, to be surrounded by so many heroic figures and not feel even the smallest amount of hope. The Kara shaped whole in the arrangement could not be ignored. No one said a word as Lena sat down and the silence was no less disturbing the longer it went on.

“It doesn’t seem right,” Cisco broke the silence with a sad voice. “The most powerful person we know.”

“The bravest and most caring, too,” Barry added just as softly. “She didn’t even ask for help.”

“You were all busy,” Alex shrugged slightly but Lena could see the tension in her jaw. “You all had your own villains to face and lives to live. She wouldn’t have disrupted that.”

“She wouldn’t put all of you in danger like that.” Lena’s voice was hoarse from disuse. Not counting her blessing of Kara at the beach, that was the longest sentence Lena had said in two weeks.

“I did, with the Dominators and Crisis,” Barry’s expression shone with guilt. “She answered every time.”

“She was like Oliver,” Sara said, leaning further into Ava as she spoke. “More of a hero than any of us will ever be.”

“All these powers, even time travel, and we still can’t save everyone.” Iris sighed and dropped her head onto Barry’s shoulder. Barry pressed a kiss against his wife’s forehead.

“We would if we could.” Barry said. “I’d go back in a second if we didn’t have to worry about another Flashpoint. An event like this is too big to go back and change.”

“Flashpoint?” Lena asked curiously. Alex looked at her with the smallest bit of surprise and a hint of question in her eyes.

“One of the first times I travelled back in time on purpose, to save my mom. I ended up changing everything,” Barry explained.

With everyone reluctant to leave, it took little prodding to get Barry to continue elaborating. A conversation about the difficulty of preserving the timeline arose between the members of team Flash and the two remaining Legends in the room. Lena listened with half an ear but her mind was stuck on the comment that had started this conversation.

It didn’t feel right without Kara in the room, not only in the sense that Lena personally felt as though she was missing an essential part of her being, but in the sense that something about all of this was fundamentally wrong. The only thing about Kara’s conflict with Lex was that Lex was gone. It doesn’t make sense for him to have taken Kara out with him, especially not without Kryptonite. Lena remembered the final blow in sharp detail. The beam that had exhausted Kara was golden, not green.

A comment about the natural order of time caught Lena’s attention and she pondered the implications of it. The natural order of time ensured that everyone was at the correct time and place, whenever that happened to be in the linear timeline of their own lives. Barry and the Legends are able to move through time as long as they don’t disrupt the natural time. There were few rules for time travel, but the most important was that one could not be in the exact same place and time as they had been before. A person cannot physically be in one specific time and place more than once.

But, there were ways to send other things through time. The Legends used a ship, and Barry had once sent a message back in time to himself, warning of things to come. The beginnings of an idea began to form in Lena’s mind. Physical time travel was limited, but that didn’t mean that other forms had the same limitations. Unfortunately, Lena was kept from following that rabbit any further down the hole by the group finally breaking apart for the night. Lena forced the questions and ideas from her mind until she returned to National City.

#supercorp #supercorp fanfic #tw: death #but they don't stay dead #time travel #part 1 of ?#i'm not sure how long this will be yet #ambs writes #ambs fics #i think i'm calling this one #make your heart beat better #myhbb #myhbb 1

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pigeonp0st · 4 years ago

Note

Oh you could write one where reader and Supergirl are fighting together against some supervillain and reader gets hurt and almost dies and Kara is freaking out because she can't lose her girlfriend and just... angst (please don't kill reader though, i'm begging you)

Kara Danvers x Reader #5

Words: 1,905

Warnings: Angst, Explosion not described in detail. Just an aftermath.

Notes:

MWHAHAHA! I technically didn’t listen to your plead...so i’m sorry? (Thank you for the request and sorry for all spelling mistakes)

——

They were kids.

You weren’t bulletproof like Kara, definitely not grenade proof, you knew that...but they were kids. Kids clutching onto their mom looking terrified. Terrified that their mom would get hurt, terrified that the three of them were going to die.

You’re terrified too. Lately as your life has gotten better with Kara, beautiful, caring Kara, you’ve been getting more scared everyday, scared that something was going to happen to ruin your happiness.

The fear is almost enough to paralyze you when you see the latest National City supervillain get ready to throw the grenade, but alas...when the man throws the grenade the stupid instinct to protect overtakes you and you jump into the air to catch it like a ball, before it can get to close to the family.

You’re more invincible than them, even if you’re not nearly as invincible as Kara...it’s time to test that theory, you think bitterly.

Turns out—when the grenade goes off and a piercing scream hits the air—you’re not that much more invincible than a regular human.

Kara, you think, tears running down your face, Kara, Kara, Kara. Kara. Everything hurts but all you can think about is Kara and whether or not she’s going to be okay fighting without you. Forever, possibly. Fighting without you forever, and just thinking about your death feels like ice water being poured over you until the cold sinks in and it’s just panic.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It takes moments before she’s by your side, moments that feel like a lifetime, she was slowed by the kryptonite she was fighting against and wasn’t able to get to you in time when the grenade went off but now she’s here, and she’s sobbing. Sobs that wrack her body, and you’re trying to sit up despite the ringing in your ear.

“Kara!” You yell, eyes wide, and you don’t want to be doing this to her, you want to pretend like you’re okay with this—you want to be strong for her—but you can’t. You can’t, because holy fuck. Fuck. “I can’t feel my legs, Kara. Baby, I can’t feel anything. I can’t...why can’t I move?”

Kara places a hand on your chest, and you can feel that, it hurts, “Alex,” she says into the comms, “it’s Y/N...she’s badly injured. I can’t bring her to the DEO, I can’t fly; the kryptonite is still in the air around us, and I can’t move her away from it either.”

You hear Kara’s panicked voice next to you, and when you focus you hear it in your own comms.

Alex’s voice crackles through immediately, and even she sounds scared, “how bad, Kara?”

“She says she can’t feel her legs, and she...she’s losing a lot of blood. She’s cold, too, and her breathing is labored,” Kara’s practically ranting now, her fingers shaking against your chest. “I’d put pressure on the wound but there’s a lot of blood and I don’t know—”

You turn your face away from Kara when her hand travels to your cheek, and you try to tune her out, because her face...it really says everything about your condition, and you don’t want to hear Kara talk about all of the ways you’re dying.

You catch the last thing Alex says and it fills you with dread that makes your bones feel even heavier, “keep her awake, Kara. There’s no telling if she’ll wake up again if she falls asleep now.”

Kara’s resulting sob rips your heart to shreds.

“I didn’t realize until I met you how much I don’t want to die,” you tell her after a moment filled with her cries. You’ve never felt so scared in your life (besides after Kara’s fight with Reign) “but I really don’t want to, Kara. I really don’t want to.”

“You won’t,” Kara says, trying to give you a reassuring smile, “you won’t because I need you to stay. What am I supposed to do without you?” She tries to laugh afterwards but it’s really just a choked sound, and you can hear the fear in her words.

The iron taste that was on your tongue felt like death, but now as you slowly start to taste it less, and as the smell of gasoline slowly slips away, you wonder if this is really a sign of death. The reapers signature.

“You’ll live.” You say, “you have to. There’s no other choice.” Your voice is filled with too much certainty for a dying woman, “It’ll be fine. You’ll get to eat the last popsicle in the fridge,” a humorless chuckle forces its way out of your throat, “I hid it. It’s under the frozen peas.”

You can tell by the look on Kara’s face what she’s thinking about. A half empty bed when she goes home alone to your shared apartment, your favorite mug sitting on the counter half full of cold coffee, your dishes still in her sink—your sink—your clothes in the washing machine, your…

“I can’t,” Kara whispers, her voice filled with the amount of sorrow only she can manage, “I can’t lose two of my worlds. I’m not strong enough.”

Kara Zor-El not being strong enough. It’s a humorous thought. You know Kara will fight, she’ll fight because it’s all she knows. She’ll find her reason. She won’t give up on the world, even if she gives up on herself for some time. It’s the one thing you need to be sure of right now.

“Yeah you are,” you mumble, trying to lift your shaky hand to cup her cheek. She grabs a hold of your hand and helps you to your destination. You try not to scream curses at the world at the sight of your blood on her pale cheek. “You, Kara Danvers, are an anomaly in the way you never let anything knock you down.”

“This is enough,” Kara promises, and it’s the last promise you’d ever want to hear from her, “you’re enough to ruin me.”

“Kara,” you whisper, hating the world so furiously in that moment for all it wants to take. “That’s the last thing I want to hear...I only ever want to build you up.”

“And you do,” Kara says, “but love really does both, doesn’t it? Sometimes it hurts as much as it heals.”

“That isn’t fair,” you whimper out, and Kara nods against your hand, closing her eyes and trying not to breathe in the smell of your blood.

Moments later Kara opens her eyes in a panic after realizing that you haven’t spoken, only to see you trying to blink your eyes awake. She squeezes your hand repeatedly, trying to get your attention. “Y/N, it’s not time.” She tells you desperately, “it’s not time.”

One of her tears fall against your cheek, causing you to pout. “Stop crying,” you slur, delirious from the blood loss, “I resent it when you cry because of me.”

Kara shakes her head, only crying harder.

You smile up at her sadly, “I'm sorry i’m dying.” And you mean it.

“Stop saying that,” Kara pleads, like it’s breaking her, “stop.”

You wish you could give Kara what she wants but your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier and you don’t think you have much time. “Just tell Alex to name a kid after me, or at least tell her to name a fish after me.”

Kara’s shaking her head and shaking your arm, trying to get you to open your eyes again, “Y/N! Hey! Stop, come on, baby, just open your eyes…”

You try, you really do, you’ve never tried so hard to listen before, and it works for a moment, just for a second you manage to open your eyes, much to Kara’s relief, and that’s when you finally notice a crowd of people and a slumped alien (the man you two were fighting) a little ways behind you and Kara. When did Kara do that to him? When did the people come?

It’s when you see Alex though, rushing out of a black van, that you feel some sort of relief. Alex will protect Kara when you’re gone. You’re sure of it.

—

“Wake up! Wake up,” Kara sobs, “Alex, Alex—please, she’s not—”

—

“She died, Kara, in the van, we managed to bring her back...but things are looking uncertain right now. For now, the best thing you can do is look after yourself”

Kara’s glowing red eyes snap up from the floor towards Alex. Her powers have been going haywire since they arrived at the DEO. “Save her,” Kara pleads, voice hoarse from crying. “Please.”

—

It’s late at night after Kara hears your heart stop (the second time) that she gets placed in kryptonite handcuffs.

Alex doesn’t want to do it but Kara isn’t in control of her powers anymore, and she almost seriously hurt someone. Multiple times.

Kara doesn’t leave your side after they get your heart going again, she can’t hear your heart with the kryptonite on so the only thing she can take comfort in is the beeping of your heart monitor.

—

You wake up two weeks after your accident.

Kara’s asleep next to you when you do.

You’re confused and thirsty so it takes you several long moments for you to remember what happened, and once you do you’re sobbing hard, crying loud enough to startle awake a sleeping Kara.

She freezes when she sees you, you’re curled up in the hospital bed and shaking with your relief and the leftover fear, and she’s watching you like she doesn’t know what to do now that you’re awake.

She’s been praying for this moment, imagining it, waiting for it day after day, minute after minute, second after second, but now that it’s actually happened she’s paralyzed with her overwhelming emotions.

“Y/N?” Kara stutters, eyes filling with her own tears of relief.

You laugh at Kara’s face, loud and completely joyful, and suddenly she’s sobbing too, grinning all the while, because you’re here—finally— you’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay, and you’re laughing, and the world is finally okay again too.

“Damn, weren’t we dramatic?” You smirk, paying no mind to the tears running down your or her face.

Kara laughs, pulling you into a careful hug (she got her handcuffs taken off only a day ago). “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” you whisper back, tightening your hold on Kara as much as you can and simply breathing her in. Breathing life in.

“I feel like i’m dreaming,” Kara says after a while, voice trembling. You feel like you're dead...and like you're in heaven. Is this heaven?

“You aren’t,” you reassure Kara anyways.

She nods against your shoulder, shaking even harder than you were. “Are you okay?” You ask worriedly.

“you’re the one who had to go and die two times.”

“Nearly three times,” Alex says from the doorway.

You notice Kara tense and shift in front of you until she realizes it’s just Alex, and you think that’ll probably be something you two will have to talk about, but for now you roll your eyes at Alex and say, much to both Kara’s and her amusement; “the only reason you tried so hard to save me is because you didn’t want to name your kid after me, isn’t it?”

Alex’s shrug and “maybe” gets a glare from Kara and a smirk from you.

#kara danvers x reader #supergirl x reader #supergirl imagine #kara danvers imagine #kara zor el x reader #kara zor el imagine #fem reader #supergirl #kara danvers #kara zor el #alex danvers #dc x reader #kara x reader

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robinrequiems · 3 years ago

Note

mmm more clishes.... Idk reverse background or personality kind of au? :/

ill do you one better 1 of my favorite mutual, reverse & personality au, they’re the same age bc I have a tiny idea *shy hands*

this is uh. a really long one thay started to lag my phone too

• oh god guys I got vivid memories of ra’s being a good grandfather and I can’t get it out of my head

• i hate it ur honor

• but ok. krypton didn’t get blown up, instead, they all migrated to earth, more specifically kansas.

• the kryptonians are angry and enraged, they are treated as if they are monsters when they arrived peacefully. they tried to kill them.

• so in return, the aliens killed the humans.

• they created a secret underground. that secret underground is to help aliens or meta humans and kill humans.

• all of them hated aliens and sought to destroy them. until kal el found a reporter trying to help aliens who were injured due to an explosion the government did to take out one of their bases.

• kal el.. fell in love with her. lois lane, she is an reporter fighting for alien rights.

• he met with her. in secret. and they.. had formed a connection. an amazing one.

• and then they had a baby.

• at the alien base, but.. she was human and people did not like that. so they wiped her mind and made her believe that they never had a kid. like the last few months.. wasnt real. she had gone missing those months since the aliens didn’t want her trying to hide the baby, they made her believe the last few months was spent in a coma and kal had found her and taken her to a hospital.

• he couldn’t see her anymore. he mourned for her lost presence, but they would have killed her if she stayed.

• but now they had precious jon el. he would be the highlight of their cause.

• they noticed his powers came in faster than kal’s, so they perfected his powers.

• he was going to bring humanity down on order of his grandfather, jor el

• kal saw his son break slowly. loses that childhood innocence that kal tried to maintain.

• his sons amazing bright blue eyes dulling, loses the spark that he cherished.

• kal was going to get him out of there, try to refuge the remaining childhood he had. even if it killed him.

—

• damian wayne! the bright bubbly and prodigal son of bruce and talia wayne ( b & t are married, suck my— ). the press loved him, he was just.. him. he was the baby and was cute, the cutest ever

• he was an expert in martial arts due to the training his grandfather, father, mother, & so much more gave him

• ra’s owns a farm. he’s.. sorry all i get is farm ra’s vibes due to.. something:) think endgame thanos, yk?

• he was the baby robin, one that you never messed with due to the herd of heroes who would come save him

—

• kalel left jon with Lois, a brief note explaining the current situation

• it was weird, jon was ten and was meeting lois for the first time

“Hi, honey.. I’m lois.”

“I know.. Dad told me about you.”

“Oh.. right. What do you want for dinner?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You have to eat.”

“No! I’m not hungry!”

• an explosive, superpower alien. Lois is way out of her head.

• he had outbursts, a lot of them. it was hard, really hard for Lois; she took some time off from the planet and focused on jon

• he broke a lot of stuff. he sometimes could not control his strength, but she was working with him

• but then one night he ran away, or flew away. he felt remorse for making Lois cry. she saw this as a win, but she lost her kid

• but then a little robin found him

“Um. Are you okay?”

“Huh-what- what do you want? Why are you talking to me?”

“Because you look sad? Yknow - hugs make people feel better. My ahki ( brother ) hugs me when I’m upset and it makes me feel better.”

“Don’t touch me.”

*Damian walked to him, smiling softly* “cmon, i won’t hurt you, silly. I’m robin.”

“A bird?”

“Haha- no, a vigilante- i sorta snuck out. My family can be a bit overbearing- and I sorta embarrassed myself at this theater thing.. some person—“

“Did I ask?”

“No.. sorry.”

“Hey— what are you doing - !”

“Hugging you.”

Jon won’t admit that he likes it, it’s different and weird, like this traffic cone in front of him. Jon pushed him off though, making himself stumble and fall on his ass.

“Ow..”

“Don’t touch me.” With rhat, Jon flew off into the night. Damian didn’t know who this boy was. But he intended on finding out. Even if it killed him. ( maybe not that extreme, but- )

• look damian was smart, right? smarter than average, and smarter than everyone in his school. teachers included ( ha ha )

• so he had to find this boy! so he started looking into aliens. until his family put an end to it

“Damian, this is dangerous.”

“But baba ( dad )”

“No. Go to your room.”

“Ugh!”

• he did slam his door shut if you were wondering

• he will find the mysterious alien boy, okay? he will!

• his brothers teased him and said he had a crush

• no he didn’t! the boy was really mean, he pushed damian- why would he do that? whatta jerk!

• but damian did find him again when he ventured off to metropolis to visit an old friend, colin.

“Alien boy!”

“That’s not my name, bird boy.”

“And that’s not mine. You didn’t tell me yours!”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s safer for you.”

“I can defend myself. You sound so silly, please tell me your name?”

“No.”

“‘Least the first initial?”

“Fine. J.”

“J it is.”

“Yours?”

“Wha- what? I told you my code named.”

“It’s only fair.”

“.. Okay. D.”

“D. Okay.”

• damian talked to him for a bit before jon did fly off when damian was talking about the stars, damian knew he was getting closer to him

• but he got grounded. whoops. he wasn’t supposed to go out

“Give me your phone, Damian.”

“What if I go out? I need a phone, baba.”

“I.. Your computer”

“School work.”

“Switch.”

“What! No- but-!”

“Damian.”

• yeah damian was very mad, but what made him madder was that apparently, his family was listening to the secret conversations between J and him. but d didn’t know that yet..

• his family needed to track down J, they didn’t care if people were aliens, the JL had aliens.. but they had no idea who this boy was, and the way damian was looking into the underground alien sanctuary, that worried rhem. Damian was smart and cunning, but he is able to portray an innocent persona, they all had the habit of undermining his intellect, so if damian began looking into this, it was for a reason

—

• jon found that D rambled. A lot. Even when jon didn’t respond. Jon doesn’t even know how D always found where he was. It’s so weird.

• but Lois noticed a change in jon.. he was. calmer. she didn’t know how, but when he went out, he came back calmer.

“I have to go to Gotham for a gala hosted by Bruce Wayne, would you.. like to come?”

“Do you want me to?”

“I’d like you to, but you don’t have to.”

“.. Fine.”

—

• lois walked to bruce with Jon in tow.

• “bruce.” “Lois, looking lovely as always.. who is this?” “Jon, my son. Say hi, Jon.” “Hi..” “He can hang around one of my sons— Damian, if you want? I’m sure him and his friends would love to have Jon around.” “What do you say Jon? Would you like that?” “Not really..” “I assume you, Damian doesn’t bite. Not anymore. And he’s pretty accepting.” “.. Fine.”

• damian was called over by his father and he did a double take. J. Was here. In front of him. Damian just internally shrugged and held a hand out, “Hi! I’m Damian! Wanna go play with my friends! there’s a game room so we don’t have to be with the gross adults.. you can also just.. sit there. My friends are pretty.. Loud?” “Okay.”

• jon had to take his hand back from damian since damian began eagerly tugging him.

“Damian seems to be accepting him pretty easily.” “I hope they can be friends, Jon.. doesn’t have any. I have only recently got him from his.. father.” “Odd, does he go to school?” “No, not yet, I’m still trying to get him adjusted.” “Ah.. Damian goes to West-Reeves. Maybe he could go there?” “That private school? Bruce.. I cannot afford that- not all of us are millionaires.” “Mhm.. I could pay.” “I can’t let you do that.” “He could get a scholarship.” “In what?” “Academics or athletics.” “Ill.. Talk to him about it. “ “well, ms lane, I just go talk with potential partners, I’ll see you later.”

—

• j got accepted into west reeves under a athletic thingy.

• that was cool. they became best friends!

• sorta

• flashforward 5 years to 15, their dynamic only grew. Damian told Jon his identity, jon didn’t become a hero, but did learn how to stitch damian up because tje idiot showed up bleeding a lot.

• everything was going great

On the phone, Damian: J! J! Guess what’

J: you’re so loud, D, what?

D: I got the lead! In the play!

J: no fucking way?

D: way!

J: Good j—— *crash*

D: J-?

D: J- Jonathan?

D: oh no.

• the call was ended abruptly. Jon always finished his sentences. Something was wrong. Something was really wrong.

• so damian called Lois quickly and ran downstairs to the batcave, lois wasn’t picking up either, she normally always picked up or at least sent a text. She did neither

“Baba!”

“Damian? You should be asleep.”

“Something’s wrong! Somethings really wrong!”

“Jon and Lois- Jon- I heard a crash- and- and”

“Habibi.”

“Mama?”

“Breathe; tell me what’s wrong.”

“I was on a call with Jon.. I told him about the play since I wanted him to go and stuff. Then I heard a crash. And then the line went dead. I’m scared— what if something happened!”

“Let’s not jump to conclusions, what happened with Lois?”

“She didn’t pick up the phone— she normally does! Or she texts me and says she will call back!”

“Maybe she is asleep.”

“No! You need to believe me!”

“Damian, calm down, I do, we will go to see if they’re okay, you get back to bed.”

“No. I’m coming with.”

“No you arent.”

“But!”

“Listen to your father.”

• okay fine. He’ll listen, damian went back up to his room for half an hour before calling his friends to do a rescue mission. He had an extra suit in his room, he can do this.

• with his team, it consisted of shazam, abuse, nobody, and green lantern, himself too, of course.

• captain marvel picked him up once he was ready and they met up with the other 3.

Maya: you said he’s in trouble?

Dami: Yes.

Colin: than let’s go save him!

• they went and saved the bestie, nearly got killed too

• oh and now damians sorta probably grounded when batman shows up 🤡

J:You came for me..?

D:We all did.. why are you so surprised?

J: * wraps his arms around damian * thank you

D: i- yeah.. anytime. what’re friends for?

• friends. Jon liked that. Jon also liked the way Damian’s cheeks went red when jon hugged him

• jon knew he chuckled before Damian’s arms wrapped around him. hard. Damian was a hard hugger

• jon became a superhero at 16. Damian had even more of a reason to sneak into his window every night now! Lois had began thinking the two were dating

D: Us? Dating? Please! He is way too good for me!

L: awwww, gosh, how haven’t you been swept off your feet yet?

J: he has, but he has rejected them all

D: what can I say? I’m a gay theater kid ( this is a /j i promise a big big joke ) so they gotta be dramatic enough to put up with me, AND they need to do something big and bold to actually catch my eye

L: *laughs* take notes, jon

J: mom!

• jon has gone to a few of Damian’s plays and to dress rehearsals

• he was also there to watch damian wreck a car during his drivers test

D: there was a fricking squirrel there, J!

J: are you sure? maybe you’re just a shitty driver?

D: you’re a shitty driver!

J: cmon don’t pout

D: ‘m not!

• he was pouting. oopsie. jon did get him ice cream after

• jon goes by abnormal, because he’s an alien and because I don’t have any other ideas

J: this girl asked me out

M: oh? who! tell us!

D: ..what?

J: yeah, in my physics class

T: ooh! get it, jonno

M: give us a name, coward!

J: her name is Charlotte— but she goes by charlie. she’s.. different. red head. pretty freckles—

M: pretty freckles? does Jonny have a crush?! Oh my gosh, our sons growing up, Tai!

T: im about to start sobbing

J: fuck offff— D?

D: huh?

J: you’re being quiet, you plotting??

D: uh. yeah! duh- *he nudged jons shoulder with his, forcing a grin* figuring out ways to embarrass you in front of your girlfriend.

J: sucha brat- * jon ended up putting Damian into a playfully chokehold *

• damian just played along. he just smiled and watched as jon began walking with her instead of their friend group

M: hey- kid- you alright?

D: I’m onto a year younger than you Maya.

M: tou didn’t answer the question

D: I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be? You’re silly.

• tai ended up pulling him aside

T: when are you going to tell him?

D: how am I supposed to when he basically has a girlfriend now?

T: are you just gonna sit there and pine all day??

D: yes, thank you for understanding

• he’s a stubborn little shit and will absolutely not confess, his best friend is happy, who is he to ruin that?

T: he’s totally jealous.

J: so- do you- do you think it’ll work? That he’ll be surprised?

T: totally

J: thank you for lending me your girlfriend, Maya

M: anytime- not literally- you aren’t having her again

• this was all a trick, sorry, d.. jon does like you

• ( hope you all saw that foreshadowing earlier :) )

• damian needed big and dramatic. jon was gonna do that. even if he was uh. sorta aloof and shy.

• he learned how to sing and play the guitar for Damian. maya and tai were gonna scatter flower petals onto the floor for Damian to follow ( they will tell him too too )

• the whole school will probably watch as Damian finally gets a big dramatic proposal

• damian will love it

M: just follow the petals!

D: I’m confused

M: trust us

• damian did and followed the petals and low and behold, jon kent with a guitar and small smile

D: j-jon?

J: hey. I wrote you a song

D: no you didn’t

J: shut up and listen dumbass

*after that amazing song of how Jon asked damian out to homecoming*

D: that was amazing

J: dramatic enough for you?

D: YES! ( damian went and sprinted to jon, hugging him so tightly before leaning in to kiss him ) we are boyfriends now right

J: yeah, idiot

D: ur the idiot

• I can’t add anymore because myphones really laggy, I hope you enjot

#cliche asks #jondami #damijon #personality swap #Damian wayne #Jon kent #background swap

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allegra-writes · 4 years ago

Text

“About you”

Tom Hiddleston x Reader

General audiences

Warnings: None

You and Tom have been friends for a while, and even though you have a huge crush on him, nothing’s ever going to happen between you. You would know, you tried. He just doesn’t see you that way. Or does he?

“Maybe if I ask you why don’t tell me, I won’t try hard enough…

I refuse to give it up, my lady”

About you - Hola a todo el mundo

MY MASTERLIST

‘Hurry up, y/n, we’re gonna be late’ Your best friend, Mary, pulled out your earbuds, effectively pulling you out of your musings.

'I’m coming, I’m coming!’ You replied, walking faster after her. You ajusted your earpods and your coat firmer around you, not that it did any good. Why did you decide to wear a dress on such a cold night? Probably for the same reason you had accepted to go out on the first place. That reason was currently standing just a few yards away from you, waiting for you girls outside the station and looking down at his phone: Tom William Perfect Hiddleston. Blonde hair, dreamy eyes and a smile that could melt glaciers. Always kind, always funny, always dangerously charming. He looked up and met your eyes, and that aforementioned smile took over his face, warming you up inside. Huh. Seemed you were right about those glaciers after all. Feeling the heath creep up your cheeks, you couldn’t help to smile back.

'Seb! Oh my gosh it’s so good to see you! We missed you so much!’ You heard Mary say and took your eyes off of Tom’s. Seb, Tasha and Nick, the rest of your group of friends, were already there as well. Apparently you had been too busy staring at Tom to notice. You wished you could say that had never happened before, but sadly it was quite a common occurrence.

'Seb, you look great. New York did you good!’ You stood on your tip toes to be able to hug your much taller friend.

'Darling, you look gorgeous as ever!’, Seb replied, holding you tight to him. Over his shoulder you thought you saw a flash of something crossing Tom’s face, but it was gone as soon as it got there and you wondered if maybe it was just your overactive imagination, always looking for signs that weren’t there.

'Well well, that’s enough, let her go, you’re going to end up smothering her’ Tom reproached jokingly, placing a hand on Seb’s right shoulder and he let go of you.

'Ok, now that everyone has had their fill of dear Sebastian here’, Mary suggested 'what do you guys say if we actually get into the underground station so we can get going and maybe make it to the play on time for a change?’

You did exactly that and soon the six of you were packed into a carriage full of people. Mary and you got seats and Seb stayed close to you, but Tom and Nick ended up on the other side of the coach. You weren’t sure where Tasha was. You turned up your music but after a couple of minutes, Mary was tugging at your earphones one more time.

'Tom is staring at you’, She whispered conspiratiorially, 'Again.’

'You’re delusional’ You replied without lifting your eyes.

'I am not such thing!’, Mary insisted 'Why do you think he’s even here, taking the tube with us? He does have a car, you know’

You made a face, you hated that car. It was ostentatious and flashy and always calling the wrong kind of attention. Namely, the attention of shallow and plastic looking women who threw themselves at the car’s owner. But then again, as far as you knew, he maybe even enjoyed that.

'Maybe he feels like drinking tonight and doesn’t want to have to worry about driving’ Was your nonchalant response.

'Oh, please! He never drinks. Not more than exactly one beer.’

'Maybe he will tonight!’

'That’s not it and you know it! Sebastian, back me up here!’

'Oh, would you look at that! Tash has found a seat. I’ll go ask her if I can sit on her lap’ And with that, he was gone.

’… Coward.’

'Seriously, Mary, would you just let it go? Please?’ You pleaded, resting your head on the cold glass of the window, felling suddenly very tired.

'Ok, hun, this isn’t like you. Tell me what is going on?’

'Just drop it, please. He doesn’t like me that way,’ you said weakly, trying not to let the hurt show in your voice.

'And how would you know that?’

You finally took your earphones off and turned to face her.

'Because,’ You looked at your best friend in the eyes and confessed 'I have already asked him out’

Her face immediately fell and for the first time, she was left without words. It took a few moments for her to ask, really softly,

'And he said no?’

'He said yes’

’…I’m sorry, I’m not sure I’m following, you’re going to have to explain’

You sight deeply, you didn’t really wanted to remember that night. The memory of it still brought tears to your eyes. However, you swallow hard and tried to relate your story through the knot in your throat.

'Remember that night last summer when I dragged you guys to see that band with me, Louden Swain?’

'The one with the hot singer, yeah.’

You shook your head. Trust Mary to forget what she had eaten for dinner, but to recall the hot musician from three months ago.

'Anyway, remember how you guys all had something to do the next day, because it was Thursday night and you all left as soon as the show was over?’

You waited for her to nod before you went on 'Well, Tom and I stayed behind, so I ask him if he would like to have a beer with me. And we went to a pub near by…’ You trailed off remembering that night, how Tom would throw his head back laughing at something you said and everything felt just so natural, so easy.

'And? What happened then?’ Mary urged you on.

'We talked, we laughed, we had a nice time. It was… Just like we always are. He was my friend Tom. He didn’t flirt. He never tried to make a move.

“He’s Tom, he’s shy! And he’s a gentleman, he wouldn’t try to…’

'Mary,’ you cut her off 'I’ve seen him with women, being all smooth talk and debonair. He just wasn’t like that with me. After the pub, he walked me home and when we got to the door, he hugged me goodnight. He hugged me’

You sighed deeply, and blinked hard trying to get rid of the sting in your eyes.

'Maybe he got nervous…’ But she sounded unsure. You looked at her, trying to will her to understand. You wished for the thousand time you were like her, guys just seemed to gravitate towards her wherever she went. And why wouldn’t they? She was beautiful, funny and moved with confidence, always knew what to wear or how to do her make up. You weren’t like that at all.

She fell silent after that and eventually, you pulled your phone out to turn your music on again, but found you had a new text from Seb.

She’s right tho, you know

It was all it said. You turned around looking for him and finally spotted him a couple seats farther back, with Tasha firmly on his lap, seemingly completely at home there.

What do you mean?

You sent to him. A few seconds later, your phone chimed again with his reply.

Tom has a crush on you

You stared at those six words an embarrassingly long time before your brain started working again. When it did, you typed,

Not you too. It’s not like that. You guys just don’t know.

This time, his response took a little longer to arrive.

About the time you guys went out after that show and how he froze and didn’t kiss you at the door when he should have? Yes I know, he told me everything about it. In. Excruciating. Detail. And about how you didn’t call him the next day or the day after. He sulked 'bout it for weeks.

Seb was still typing when you interrupted the rest of his tirade with

I thought the guy was supposed to do that

He started typing again and soon you got another text, this one exasperated.

ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?? For all your talk about feminism and equality and empowerment he thought if you still liked him YOU would call HIM. He thinks you friendzoned him that night.

Your obnoxious answer was

He never made a move

You looked over at Seb just in time to see him rub his face with his hand in frustration before texting

Not every guy needs to go for the kill on the first date you know? Some of them actually care about more than sex. There are some gentleman left out there.

You caught his eye as he placed his big hand on Tasha’s naked tigh. He winked at you and sent

Not me, tho. I’m a pig

That made you laugh out loud.

You looked out the window and saw there was only two more stations left before Picadilly. You were almost there. Your phone ringed with another text from Seb again.

Go on, you. Prove me wrong. Ask him out.

You bit your lip and looked at Tom, apparently deep in conversation with Nick. Not even the ugly fluorescent lights from the tube could make him look bad. It was unfair, really. You took a deep breath and before you got nervous and changed your mind you text him

Wanna do something together after the play?

You saw as he felt his phone vibrate and opened your text. His face lit up with the big, boyish smile that you adored. He bit his own lip and raised his eyes to meet yours through the crowded carriage and as his expression softened you were finally sure that your friends had been right all along. Because he was looking at you like you were everything that existed in that moment. There was no carriage, no crowd, not anything. It was just the two of you.

Anything you want, I’m yours

A text message wasn’t supposed to leave you breathless. But sure damn it did.Not to be bested, you sent back

What I want is for you to kiss me goodnight this time

There. There was no mistaking now, that wasn’t a "you’re my friend” kind of text. You literally couldn’t make it any clearer to him.

The train came to a stop and you had to get off, so he couldn’t answer. But as soon as you reached the stairs, you felt him entwine his fingers with yours.

And as soon as you got out the station and into the street, you felt him tug on your hand hard, making you turn around and crash into his waiting mouth. That’s when the world really stoped. That’s when everything truly disappeared. The dark, loud, bussy streets suddenly went pitch black and silent.

It was as if you had never been kissed before. As if you had never felt soft lips pressing on yours, nibbling them, coaxing them open, warm breath mixing with yours, big hands cupping your cheeks carefully, delicately, a tentative tongue licking your parted lips… All too soon it was over, but he didn’t let go of you just yet, and you didn’t try to get away. It was like gravity, there was no resisting it. He finally rested his forehead on yours and whispered against your mouth

'How about I just kiss you hello?’

The end.

This was the very first fice I ever wrote, back in 2018 and I realized I never posted here. Such a trip through memory lane! i hope you didn’t find this too cringey, cuz it will always hold a special place in my heart💖

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddlestone fanfictiom #loki #loki x reader #loki imagine #loki fanfiction

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roomeight · 4 years ago

Note

what are some of the most cursed things you've seen happen in the fandom in all those years of being a blur fan? can you list? (also feel free to mention some of the most wholesome things that happened too, if you wish). i became a stan this year and saw some drama but god you've lived through and saw so much sdjhsdkjsd

The most cursed things I've seen/heard:

A very intense fan once gave Damon a stuffed teddy bear with a camera inside of it. Thankfully, someone informed Graham and they were able to get rid of it.

A girl pretended/gaslit a bunch of fans into thinking that she was Damon's girlfriend/baby momma. They had about two years of tumblr posts pretending to be Damon and herself talking to each other and a very detailed timeline of events that mostly matched up to Blur's timeline. She said that her and Damon had an unplanned child in the nineties who was killed in a car accident. They didn't speak for years and then Damon found out about the kid, started seeing her again, was no longer in a relationship with Suzi, and had a very sexual daddy/daughter sex relationship that involved Missy hearing her call Damon daddy while they were fucking. On further investigation I found out that they were a pathological liar who said that they slept with many band members. ...Yeah.

During Humanz some very young fan tweeted that she'd given Damon a blow job after a show. She later deleted her account after a lot of backlash and angry fans coming after her.

Graham sometimes checks the twitter profiles of people who tweet at him.

Someone once insinuated that they'd fuck themselves with a Graham Coxon action figure (el Coxo) and Graham saw the tweet.

After one of the TGTBTQ shows in London I went to, apparently there was a second huge after-party at Damon's house. Jamie got so drunk that Denholm had to drag him home.

Graham shat himself and his jumper once when he and Damon were really drunk on Damon's dad's wine.

Damon once woke up to a random Russian girl in his bed and they had sex.

Damon and Alex once made out so much that Damon had to subsequently get a blow job from someone because he was so turned on by it.

Graham, drunk, once broke all the windows on the tour bus when they were touring America.

Damon had sex with so many women in Iceland that it became a local joke that he had illegitimate children with a bunch of Icelandic women.

Wholesome things

Damon saw my Graham Coxon tattoo on my arm during Kids with Guns in L.A. in 2018. He came over to my side of stage and climbed up exactly where I was (I had to hold him up with Smoggy so he wouldn't fall). He saw my tatt and grinned big and then gave me a fist bump as he climbed down. 🥰

On the Humanz tour I saw a fan who told Damon that his music had saved her life and he looked really moved and gave her a huge bear hug. She was crying. It made me cry too, lol.

At one of Graham's shows a male fan told Graham he loved him. It was very cute and wholesome. He was a nice guy.

I saw Keith and Hazel Albarn in London and Damon walks exactly like his dad. Also his parents are adorable.

At Coachella in 2010 I was in the front row for Gorillaz. Jamie passed by and I yelled his name. He seemed surprised that someone recognized him and came over grinning and talked to us for a bit.

At a Gorillaz show at Red Rocks, Damon came out wearing a South American pouch with a rock in it. He said "I'm wearing my special rock inside a big rock." It was cheesy af and I loved him.

At the same show there was a huge sign that said no smoking weed. During soundcheck Damon stood next to the sign smoking a huge blunt and giggling because he was very high.

After a show in Seattle, a bunch of fans waited hours outside for Damon. Damon finally came through in a car and stopped to do autographs and pics with some of the 2D cosplayers. He was very tired, I could tell, but he stopped anyway to say hello to the fans. That meant a lot to me.

Someone once asked Damon about Gramon slash and asked how he felt about it. They explained it's about you and Graham having sex. Damon replied "that sounds hot" and "it's great if people are being creative."

Damon and Graham were once asked about Gramon I think? And Graham went off about how one night when they were teenagers Damon snuck into Graham's room and had a "mental block."

Damon feeds the faeries at his Iceland home to keep them happy and owns what he believes to be is a unicorn horn.

Damon was always mistaken for a little girl when he was a child.

As a teenager, Damon would dress up like Adam Ant and look at himself in the mirror.

Damon stopped going to acting school and transferred to Goldsmiths because he missed Graham.

Damon once dropped his trousers on stage and crawled off when people reacted badly to his bits.

Damon once had to dress up and live as a woman for a few weeks as a class assignment, which included dressing in women's clothing and walking around London.

..that's all I can think of for now ...I'm sure there's more!

#blur #damon albarn #graham coxon

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gloomyhearts · 3 years ago

Text

That's life || Steve Harrington

Chapter nine

November 11, 1983

Y/N's POV

I opened the door for Dustin after he knocked thousands of times.

"What's wrong?"

"Will is alive. We more Eleven communicated with him. We heard him singing. He's in the upside down. Lucas knows where the gate is. Miss Byers and Hopper are driving to the lab"

"the lab has the gate to the upside down" he nodded. "Son of a bitch. And Barb? Is she alright" he looked down.

"I'm sorry El said she's gone." I placed my hands in front of my mouth in shock.

"I have to go to the school again"

"why?"

"We are hiding El there. I just want to get some food." I nodded and he walked into the kitchen.

"Dustin I really think you shouldn't go back" I walked after him and stole his cap

"nooo. Give it back" he jumped to reach the cap.

"You've got plenty in your room." He rolled his eyes and walked to his room.

The phone rang a few times before I reached it "Henderson's"

"Y/N here's Nancy. I need your help I'm at the Byers house. Could you come over."

"Of course I'm there in twenty minutes." I walked to Dustin's room and told him that I'm leaving.

So when I knocked on the door Nancy opened it with a baseball bat in her hand.

"Right time. Maybe you can hit some nails into it that would be great" she handed it to me and went inside.

Ok that's strange.

"Hey Y/N it's good you could make it. Two hands more are better. So we planned that we would throw fuel into the hallway and--"

"okay wait. Why are all these Christmas lights hanging around?"

"Oh yeah my mom thought Will wouldn't be dead and there was wavering lights. And she thinks she's talking to him through all these" I only nodded.

absolutely strange.

"And how do you 'call' the monster?" I gestured quotes to the call.

"we don't have any names for them but I heard your brother and his friends talking about it and calling them demogorgon or something like that."

Could it get any stranger?

There was some knocking on the door and Jonathan answered that.

"Steve, what the hell are you doing here!" I eavesdrop their conversation in between the hittings.

"I wanted to apologize for the incident." Steve paused, maybe because Nancy walked over to the door.

"Steve leave. Don't involve yourself in that. Please stay outside or go home" she shouted at him.

what's with me?!

"What is this noise?" He meant the hitting of nails.

Steve walked past Jonathan into the house and looked around.

"Y/N you're here?" I rolled my eyes at him.

Suddenly all the lights began to flicker and then it shut down.

The whole house was in a reddish light.

"Nanc" Steve's voice echoed through the hallway as he was looking through the whole house for Nancy.

That hurts.

Jonathan ran towards the monster but there was plenty space between them. He had thrown the lighter on the floor and the flue had inflames.

Automatically I covered my face and turned so I wouldn't look into the flames, Nancy did the same but she still held the revolver in the direction of the monster. Steve had grabbed the bat out of my hands and stands next to Jonathan.

"What should we do Jon?" Jonathan turned to look at Steve as he shrugged his shoulders.

Great, we are going to die.

The monster began to walk towards us and we started to take few steps back to keep the distance. The monster pinned Jonathan to the ground and Nancy began to shoot it. But then Steve ran in the direction of the demogorgon and hit it with the bat. The monster flew away from Jonathan.

"Steve you're insane what's wrong with you" I screamed after him.

"Go Steve you'll kill it" Jonathan stepped next to me once he was standing and Nancy shoot a few times again.

Why are my friends so crazy.

After the monster disappeared into nowhere the four of us were standing in the middle of the hallway questioning what happened a few moments ago.

"I don't know what's happening but that's crazy, it's weird" I sat down on the couch as the three other teenagers walked into the living room.

"So mom is right" Steve was the only one who was still standing.

"She is what? What the hell was that?"

"That lovely Steve is a demogorgon, something from the upside down"

"where did you catch this word?" I rose my eyebrow.

"At the funeral when you were talking to the boys. And also at school yesterday when we communicate to the upside down"

"Where's your mom now?"

"She is with Hopper. She told me they are going to the lab"

"Jonathan could I use your phone?" He nodded and I walked over to it.

After a few rings my mom answered the phone.

"Hey mom, can I talk to Dusti?"

"Oh sorry he is not here."

"he's not home? Do you know where he is?"

"No sweaty I'm sorry"

"but thanks mom, love you." I ended the call and turned to my friends and Steve.

"I have to go"

"where?"

"I don't know but I have to safe my brother" I was halfway out of the door when Steve held my wrist. "let me go. I need to go."

"You don't even know where to. Let me come with you to protect you." Jonathan and Nancy looked confused between us.

"I think I'm able the protect myself. And where I am going there's a badass girl with telekinesis super power who will protect me" Steve's eye widened as I said those words.

"Okay wait serious? Where are you going then?"

"The school"

"I'm coming with you" Steve walked after me through the door and held his passenger door open.

"Thanks" he started the engine and we drove through the dark streets to the Hawkins middle school.

We sat a few minutes in the car after we arrived scared of what we would face in there.

"I like your new style" he pointed towards the cap.

"Mm thanks" and again there was this tension between us.

"Y/N I'm sorry for everything really if I could turn back in time I would and I'd change so many things. I'm so sorry."

"Steve leave it, please" I saw a lot of white Van's driving on the school ground and parking in front of the entry.

"Who are they?"

"I don't know but. What the hell you're seeing this?" The people leaving the cars and walking into the school all held weapons.

"I think we shouldn't involve ourselves into this"

"Steve my brother is in there" I'm looking right into his hazel eyes.

Oh god I missed them so much. How much I'd like to kiss him. Stop it right now!

"If you're right. With that girl. They are safe. Y/N we only going to risk our life" he took my hand into his and squeezed it.

"I can't just sit here and wait" I wanted to open the door but Steve locked it. "Son of a bitch open it!" Shots drowned my voice and we went silent.

"Fuck" muttered Steve under his breath. The lights outside the school began to flicker and Steve threw his arms around me. We ducked into the footwell.

"I'm here Y/N it's alright." A few tears escaped and he wiped them away. We were in this position until we heard knocks on the window and we both frightened. He let go of me and looked where the knocks came from.

"Look. It's Dustin." I turned to look into familiar blue eyes and I began to smile.

"Steve unlock the fucking car" when he did, I opened the door and threw my arms around my brother. "Dusti you're alive"

"stop you're embarrassing me"

"those are your friends, they know how I am" we laughed a bit but then there was silence which could kill you.

"where is.." Dustin cut me off

"she's in the upside down she saved us." I looked at Mike who was crying and walked over to him.

"Mike I'm so sorry" I hugged him too and rubbed his back. "If you need help I'm here you can talk to me" he nodded and Lucas asked if Steve could drive them home.

"Of course but let's go" on our way home the boys told us everything that happened in the school building.

"That's insane." Steve couldn't believe it but listened tensioned to them.

When we were at our house Dustin went inside so Steve and I could talk.

"I'm sorry that you're involved in this too. I should've left without you."

"So you would be killed by the men with the weapons of course Y/N" he rolled his eyes and laughed slightly

"but thank you Steve" I kissed his cheek and went inside the house as well.

It took Steve quite a while to drive away but he did anyways.

"So you and Steve" he wriggled his brows and smiled.

"There's nothing he's with Nancy anyways"

"but she will choose Jonathan over Steve I bet" he hold his hand in front of me but I didn't shake it.

"I'm not betting over feeling that's dumb."

"When you say it. Good night idiot"

"night asshole" he walked into his room and I into mine as well.

#stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington #steven harrington #stranger things imagines #stephen harrington #stranger things #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington x reader #steve stranger things #stranger things steve

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strangerthingsharrington · 4 years ago

Text

Can’t Fight This Feeling

-24-

Steve held my hand tightly as we climbed up the escalator slowly. My body had had enough. I was exhausted, tired...just drained.

After reaching the top, I stopped and looked behind us to the others in the party moving slowly up the steps. Max came up first with tears streaming down her face, which still bore a shocked expression.

She looked to me and her lip trembled. I let go of Steve’s hand and walked quickly to her wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug which she reciprocated. My tears overflowed as Max let out a sob.

“It’s okay,” I told her quietly, closing my eyes, “it’s gonna be okay, Max. He saved all of us. Billy is a hero.”

She continued to sob into my shoulder, I leaned my head against the side of hers and opened my eyes, seeing the party around us with sad, solemn looks on their faces.

Lucas stepped up and put his hand on Max’s shoulder, “Come on, Max,” he said gently, “let’s go outside.”

Max slowly removed her arms from my waist and looked at me, I pushed some of her hair behind her ear and smiled sadly at her, “We’re gonna get through this, all together. I promise.”

She nodded to me before turning to Lucas and reaching for his hand.

Steve had come up and stood next to me, he put his arm around my shoulder, “Come on,” he said quietly.

I nodded, turning with him to walk towards the doors to go outside and away from the devastation.

I could hear the guards yelling at one another back in the food court. I could smell the fire burning. I was trying to think about how I’d explain marks on me to my mom when I saw her.

Most importantly, I needed to figure out how to get Dustin and Erica back from the Hilltop.

Steve pushed open the mall door for us and the fresh air hit me like a ton of bricks. Even though it hadn’t been long since I was last outside, it felt like an eternity especially after being that close to fire and smoke.

There were police, ambulance and fire trucks all coming from what seemed like everywhere trying to park and get into the mall. I wondered if they managed to move the monster out of sight in the food court. I wondered how this story was going to be told to the public.

“You okay?” Steve asked me gently.

I looked up at him and shrugged, “I’ll give you an actual answer tomorrow. I need to get Erica and my brother.”

He nodded, rubbing my arm. He began looking around, hopefully trying to find someone who’s car we could use to get them.

“Louise!”

My eyes went wide and I looked around until I spotted her. My mom.

I let go of Steve’s hand and ran to her and hugged her tightly as the tears began to spill over and down my face.

“Where’s Dusty?” she asked.

I sniffled and pulled away from her, “He’s at the hilltop,” I said with a shuddering breath, “we have to get him.”

She nodded and wrapped her arm around me, I looked behind me to Steve and saw him scanning the crowd. Was he looking for his parents?

I looked around and caught sight of Lucas and Max walking towards his mom, before she began looking around frantically.

“Mrs. Sinclair!” I called to get her attention, “I know where she is, she’s with my brother! I’m going to get them!”

Relief flodded her face and she nodded, “Thank you!” she called before turning her attention back to Lucas.

I looked back to Steve and he was looking down at his shoes.

“Steve!” my mom called to him, he looked up instantly, “Come with us!”

He looked quickly around again before jogging over to us, “Come on, Steve,” she said, looking over his face, “you’re just as much a member of the family as anyone, so let’s go.”

At that, tears fell from Steve’s eyes and he pulled my mom into a hug, “Thanks, Mrs. Henderson.”

They broke apart and she smiled softly at him, “Lets go and get these kids.”

We walked to her car and got in, she questioned what had happened and between Steve and myself we managed to tell her about a fire that had broken out in the mall. Where one of us would falter with the story, the other would step in and continue to spin the lie.

Steve gave directions to my mom, as she told us about how her and Mrs. Sinclair came to find out they hadn’t seen any of us for two days, and that they came to the mall to look for us.

Erica was right, Mrs. Sinclair really did want Erica back for Uncle Jacks party. She went to the Byers house to see if Lucas and Erica might have been there, but obviously the house was empty. She then went to the Wheelers house that was empty, before finally coming to my house. They deducted they hadn’t seen any of the kids in about forty eight hours and thought we might have been at the mall, since that was where we all had been spending most of our time.

“When I pulled up I could see the smoke billowing up,” mom explained, “I was so worried but no one would let me in!” she told us as she parked at the bottom of the hill after Steve told her to take the left, giving her more time to make the turn than what Dustin gave him.

Once the car began slowing down, I hopped out and began running up the hill, with Steve calling out my name behind me.

I just needed to get them back. My legs were burning and I felt like I couldnt breath anymore. But I needed to get them.

“Guys!” I called once I almost reached the top.

“Lou?” I heard Dustin call out.

I reached the top, and bent over trying not to vomit.

“Whoa, Lou, you okay?” Dustin asked me.

I breathed in deeply and stood back up, “Come on,” I said ingorong him, “let’s go.”

“What happened? Is everyone okay?” Dustin asked.

I looked over to him, “The national guard came in, if anyone asks there was a fire at the mall,” I said looking between the two of them.

“Lou, is everyone okay?” Dustin asked again a bit more stern.

“Billy died,” I said quietly.

His eyes went wide, “Holy shit. Are you serious? Is-is Max okay?”

I shook my head, “No,” I answered honestly, “come on,” I said, extending my arm out towards them, “mom drove us, your mom is waiting for you at the mall,” I told Erica.

I turned around just as Steve took the last couple steps to the top of the hill.

“Lou, I would’ve gotten them,” he told me breathlessly, “your legs have to be killing you,” he said when he reached me.

I nodded, not even bothering to deny that fact.

“I just...needed to get them,” I said quietly to him.

He watched hesitantly, before reaching out to me and putting his arm around my shoulder, “Come on, let’s get Erica to her mom and then you need to sleep.”

Without saying another word, I put my arm around Steve’s waist and walked carefully back down the hill with Dustin and Erica in tow.

Steve helped me into the front seat of the car as Dustin and Erica talked to my mom about what they had been up to. Steve got into the backseat right behind me, with Dustin going next to him and Erica behind the drivers side.

Mom drove us quickly to the mall with none of us really talking. I stared out the window, watching as my small town of Hawkins passed me by. A week ago this was my boring town. Nothing exciting ever happened here.

I knew differently. Too much had happened in the town. More than anyone would ever believe.

We got out of the car after reaching the mall and Erica ran back with her mom and Lucas. Robin was at an ambulance with her parents talking, she caught my eye and waved to me before making a phone sign with her hand and mouthing tomorrow at me. I nodded to her before I saw El wrapped in Mrs. Byers arms, as they both cried.

I looked on in confusion, unsure of what had happened since I left.

I looked to Jonathan and Will but Jonathan was already looking back to me.

Glancing quickly around the group, I realized who was missing. Hopper.

‘Where’s Hopper?’ I mouthed.

Jonathan looked to El then back to me before shaking his head softly.

In an instant I understood. Police Chief Hopper didn’t make it from the underground lair. Another victim to the fire at Starcourt, I assumed they would tell everyone.

“LuLu?”

I looked over to my mom who pushed some of the hair that had fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear, “Come on, baby. Let’s get you home and get cleaned up and go to bed.”

I nodded, taking another look at the mall that was still smoking, with police and firefighters around the doors looking in.

I turned and walked back to the car with everyone. Dustin went to the front seat while I went to the back seat, with Steve taking the middle seat so we were next to each other.

We kept our hands wrapped tightly together, and I had my head leaning on his shoulder.

“Steve,” mom asked softly looking into rear view mirror to us, “do you want to stay at our house for the night, or are you heading home?”

I lifted my head up and looked to him, he lowered his head and sighed, “I should go home...my parents might be wondering where I am, and I need the extra key to my car.”

“I can come get you in the morning to pick up your car?” I offered.

He looked down at me with a small smile, “Thank you,” he said softly.

I smiled a little back at him and laid my head back on his shoulder for the rest of the silent drive to his house.

When we pulled up the lights were all off and I felt Steve deflate slightly. I guess neither of his parents stayed up to wait for him. Even though he hadn’t seen either of them in almost forty eight hours at least.

“Are you gonna be able to get in?” I asked as mom put the car in park.

“Yeah,” he answered quietly, “I hid a key outside...not the first time this has happened,” he explained to me.

I nodded solemnly, lifting my head from his shoulder and opening the car door, our hands staying locked together even when getting out the car.

“Thank you, Mrs. Henderson,” he said once he got out of the car, “see ya later, Dustin,” he added before closing the door.

“Call me tomorrow when you’re ready and I’ll come get you, okay?” I asked him.

He nodded before letting go of my hand, only to let his arms go to my waist and pulled me to him, resting his face on the side of my head. My arms laced around his neck and I held him tighlty to me, ignoring the pain going through my arms.

He moved his head back a bit and made eye contact with me. His eye was incredibly swollen, dried blood was still around his nose and mouth. He was tired. But he held my gaze with such a sincerity that everything, for just an instant, felt okay.

He leaned down and lightly pressed his lips to my forehead, kissing me softly for a second.

“I’ll call you tomorrow, Lou,” he whispered, with his lips still pressed against my forehead.

I nodded slightly, “Okay,” I whispered back.

We let each other go and Steve took a few steps backwards towards his house I smiled lightly at him which he reciprocated before turning around and walking up to the front of his house.

I got back into the back seat of the car and watched him go.

“I just wanna make sure he gets in,” mom said quietly.

Steve bent down once he was at his front door and went into a flower pot that was out there, he straightened up and opened the front door a second later. He turned to face the car and brought his hand up in a small wave, before turning and going inside the dark house, closing the door behind him.

Mom started the short drive back home, thankfully leaving us in silence, aside from her oldie music station in the background playing quietly. I think she knew we had a rough little while and didn’t want to pester us. For the moment at least.

Once we were inside our house, that’s when she began her different line of questioning.

“So...why haven’t I heard from you guys for almost two days?” she asked once she closed the front door.

I sighed and turned to face her, “We’re sorry, ma,” I told her, “I’ve been hanging out with Robin and I have this thing with Steve that I’m trying to figure out...Dustin’s been hanging out with the party and talking to Suzie on Cerebro...then we were at the mall and the fire and everything...” I drifted off, looking to Dustin to confirm my answer to her new question.

Dustin nodded quickly to her, “Yeah...we’ve just been hanging out.”

“Why are you so bruised up, Louise?” she asked me, “what happend to Steve’s face?”

My breathing stopped, “Um-huh...my arm um-someone grabbed me when we were trying to get out of the mall, to make sure I kept up,” I told her before lightly touching my neck, “I think I was grabbing my throat because of the smoke...I was scared, ma. I don’t really remember,” I explained trying to think quicker.

“Steve got in a fight,” Dustin chimed in, “he won this time at least.”

Mom looked back to me, eyeing my arm and neck again, “Are you sure you’re okay, Lou?”

I nodded, “I’m really okay, mom. A little sore and...yeah, I think I just need some rest.”

Mom sighed and wiped her face of the few tears that had fallen, “I beleive you guys,” she told us, “I do...I was just so afraid when I found out...when I heard that Mrs. Sinclair hadn’t seen Lucas or Erica for a while either...I just couldn’t stop thinking that something bad had happened, to both of you. I don’t know what I’d do if something...” she looked away from us and shook her head.

I glanced over at my brother and saw him looking down at the ground, feeling probably the same way I did. Terrible. Mom was reiterating back to us to reason why Dustin never told me about any of this from the beginning. If something happened to both of us, she was going to be alone and that wasn’t fair.

I looked back to mom as she sniffled loudly, and I knew that was the end of the questioning and she would be changing the subject immediately. When the conversations got to heavy and started making her or us upset she always tried to change it to make us all feel better.

“Go to bed guys, I’ll make a nice big breakfast in the morning, sound good?” she asked looking to us, with tears ready to spill over from her eyes any moment.

“Yeah, sounds good mom. See you tomorrow,” Dustin said before turning and going down the hall to his room.

I nodded once, “Night mom,” I said before following Dustin down the hall.

I followed Dustin to his room and stepped in.

“What is it, Lou?” he asked, taking a seat on his bed and looking at me.

I closed his door and walked the few steps to the bed, taking a seat next to him, “I’m sorry you guys went through this before.”

He sighed and shrugged, “It’s not like we went out looking for this before, and we definitely didn’t this time. But we got through it.

“We’ll all meet up tomorrow with the party and talk out everything. Fill everyone in on the last little bit...talk about Billy and Hopper...” he drifted.

I nodded and stood up, “Yeah...yeah, okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, Dustin.”

“Lou.”

I turned to him again and saw him watching me, “It’s like I said before,” he started, “you just gotta...close your eyes and eventually, no matter how scared or nervous or upset you are, you’ll go to sleep. And another day will start again. It’ll pass. The fear and shit...feels overwhelming to start, but eventually it’ll lessen. It’s worked out for me before.”

I felt my chest tighten just thinking about how Dustin and the rest of the group ha been through this before. How they had to keep quiet about the things that had gone on. That must have been extremely difficult for them to deal with.

“Night, Dustin,” I said softly before turning and leaving his room, closing his door behind me.

I walked right to the washroom and turned the shower on as hot as I could stand it.

I stripped down and stepped in washing off the past forty eight hours worth of grime and dirt and blood and vomit, probably.

My brain was too tired to process anything else. It felt like it was the longest and shortest two days of my life. I couldn’t explain it...it was too much going on all at once.

Once I felt sufficiently clean and like I rubbed my skin raw, I turned the shower off and stepped out, wrapping myself in a towel.

I went to my room and changed into pyjamas, placing my towel on a hook to dry off.

I laid on my bed for hours. I tried to just close my eyes and let sleep find me like Dustin said. But I couldn’t do it. I wanted to scream and cry, out of both relief and sadness. Relief that this was finally over, sadness over all the turmoil we had all gone through and that we were going to continue to go through because we lost Billy and Hopper.

When I couldn’t pretend anymore I opened my eyes and looked at the clock on my nightstand. 3:47am.

I sat up and got up off my bed and heading to the front door, hoping that fresh air would help me in someway.

The house was quiet. I was positive that mom and Dustin were both sleeping, or pretending better than me.

I opened the front door, stepped out, and closed it quietly behind me. I turned to the small two seater we had on the porch, but someone was already there.

“Steve?” I questioned.

He was already looking at me with wide eyes, “Hey...why aren’t you sleeping?”

I tilted my head at him, “I couldn’t sleep...better question is why are you here?”

He grinned at me as I sat next to him, “Same reason.”

“How long have you been out here?” I asked.

He took my hand in his and sighed, looking out across the front yard to the quiet street, “I was home long enough to shower and have my mom and dad wake up because I had the shower on so late, and then my dad got mad at me. I grabbed the spare key and just...started walking,” he told me before looking over to me, “so maybe...two hours.”

I adjusted so I could look at him a bit better, “Steve, you should’ve knocked on the door or something! You didn’t have to sit out here for two hours!”

He breathed out a laugh, “I thought you’d be sleeping!”

I smirked and shook my head before it faded, “What did your dad say?”

Steve hummed and looked to me, “He was mad about me using the shower so late. I asked if he even noticed that he hadn’t seen me in two days...he didn’t,” he said sadly, “I asked my mom and she thought I had been home. I asked them if they even noticed my face. Mom asked if I was okay, dad asked if this was another losing fight of mine. Then he said he was going back to sleep and for me to ‘stop whining’ and get a hold of myself.

“So I left,” he explained looking down at our hands, “they just...whatever,” he sighed.

“Hey,” I said, shaking our hands, he looked over to me, “if it upset you, then it’s not ‘whatever.’ It matters and is-it’s valid, Steve. And it’s important to me, how you feel.”

He brought our hands up and kissed the back of mine, “Thank you,” he said quietly barely moving his lips from my hand.

I smiled shyly at him, “Come on, Steve. I can get the couch ready and you can sleep there, or I can and you can take my bed?”

He shook his head and leaned back, “Can we just...sit for a while longer?”

I bit my lip with a small smile, sitting further back in my seat, leaning my head on his shoulder, “Okay,” I whispered.

Then, in what felt like an instant, sleep finally found me.

——

Title credit to REO Speedwagon and gif credit to owner! I’m so sorry, there’s probably so many spelling/grammar issues!

#Steve Harrington #steve harrington x reader #stranger things #stranger things imagine #netflix #steve harrington imagine

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