#simon you asshole

[bluegiragi]

work it out (part 2)

early access + nsfw on patreon

[mokeonn]

"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.

But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.

[western-river]

I'm really pissed of because of a tiktok that included DBDA so here's the rant:

I just saw a tiktok where it showed a bunch of shows where if one decision was made the whole show wouldn't have happend

For example: with heartstopper that charlie gets put next to tao instead of nick, so nick & charlie don't end up talking.

The last slide was for dead boy detectives.. yay DBDA mention!

EXCEPT it was edwin saying hi to simon.

EDWIN DIDN'T OWE SIMON SHIT. THAT WOULD NOT HAVE SAVED HIS LIFE. YOU ASSHOLE. EVEN IF, BIG IF, SIMON WAS BRAVE ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING WITH IT AND THEY WOULD GET TOGETHER. IT WAS STILL THE 1900s. IT WASN'T JUST SIMON. YOU CAN'T JUST IMPLY THAT EDWIN DIED BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SPEAK TO SIMON. THAT'S VICTIM BLAMING, AGAIN, YOU ASSHOLE.

Mannnnn that pissed me off. Edwin's (after)life could've been a little different, maybe, but simon wasn't the only one who chanted. There were multiple guys that grabbed him. If Simon and Edwin SOMEHOW gotten together, they would probably end up lying on that things side by side while being offered up.

Edwin had no control over his death. It was a hate crime. He is in no way to blame.

You asshole.

[sgt-tombstone]

okay wait hear me out: Soap with a shaved asshole

BUT (wait, listen, hear me out)

Ghost is the one who shaves him, and he does it with a straight razor

semi-regularly, Johnny finds himself face down in a pillow, his ass in the air trying to stay as still as possible while Simon spreads his cheeks, lathering shaving cream in his ass crack, the knife-sharp edge of the razor pressed against his sensitive skin, hands holding the skin taut to avoid cutting him, giving him the smoothest shave he’s ever had, all so Simon can fuck him better

he spends the entire time nearly vibrating in place, trying to stay stock still so Simon doesn’t accidentally cut him, but his cock is hanging between his legs and every scrape of the razor on his skin has him twitching, trying to get friction, unsure if he wants to flinch away or press back into the razor’s edge in Simon’s hand

sometimes he swears that the shaving is more erotic than the sex that comes after

[hollypies]

Fuuuck I don't want to draw backgrounds anyway why do I get randomly dizzy and see black spots . What's that about

[cod-dump]

Soap: Have you never lost anyone close to you? What would you do if say… Ghost died

Gaz: Is he actually dead this time or just fucking around again?

Soap: Actually dead. What would you do?

Gaz: Before or after I start laughing?

[indianchindian]

Against the delusional Edmar shippers hating on Felicia for no reason:

Seriously I searched Twitter (proudly deadnaming it) for some Edvin and Felicia content and I go through these:

What is old Edvin to you? He's growing and evolving as a person and this picture seems to be bad and I don't support smoking but please move on!

PR stunt my fucking ass!

.................

Like how delulu can those people be? Edvin and Omar had amazing chemistry in YR especially their intimate scenes but that's because they're really professional and had an AMAZING intimacy director! No doubt! Period! Exclamation mark!

Why tf are people hating on Felicia for nothing? Or because she's dating Edvin and both of them are being (slightly) public about it. And that you can't fetishise Edvin and Omar together anymore?! Or that you can't imagine yourself with Edvin as a tweet suggested??? Why the fucking delulsions and hate when Edvin and Omar HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FRIENDS BEST????? HUH! Plus Omar and Felicia are really close, like look at this adorable picture 😭

(and Edvin liked, lol)

And look at this

And this

Literally look at Omar's comment!

And this

And this

These guys literally left supportive comments 😭😭

Edvin and Felicia are dating. Omar is besties with Edvin and Felicia, and I look Friends Best at a literal level. I had my fair share of beef with delusional shippers before them so seeing this really pissed me off big time. Also, why tf is Felicia being hated on just because she's dating Edvin and that she "changed" him for the worse like I can't with the misogyny! As much as I don't support smoking, Felicia isn't to blame and people change if THEY choose to! Edvin and Felicia seem happy, but again I'm not to be intrusive when I'm a stranger to them irl, and same goes to you! I love Edvin and Omar's chemistry, but I 200% ship them AS A FICTIONAL COUPLE BECAUSE THEYRE ACTORS DOING AMAZING AT THEIR MOTHERFUCKING JOBS PLEASE STOP BEING ASSHOLES AND START TO ACCEPT REALITY!

It's actually refreshing to see tweets and replies supporting and defending the couple it's just that this triggered my beef for delusional shippers in the past

Like this post (misunderstood this lol lack of sleep maybe?

[ccrites]

Signal Lost

I've had something happen to me that's so incredible and that I could have never hoped, something so touching and so unbelievable that it made me rethink a whole lot of stuff: a wonderful reader on Ao3 started reading my long-form fic (101k words!!!) and commented basically every chapter after a certain point. And wow, I would have never thought something like this might happen.

And yeah, it is my first fic with plot in it, yeah I will never believe it to be perfect, but it's good enough. And receiving all those emails from Ao3 really was the highlight of my days over the course of which I saw said reader slowly go through all my favorite parts!

And so I wish to give it some spotlight here, while I'm finishing up my school year and work and whatever! I will post this here for now, but I will drop chapters every few days and make a Masterlist for it this weekend. (nvm I don't have the energy to do this any time soon lmao) I have too many loose ideas in my head so this is just to pass the time till the brain worms wiggle all in the same direction

So without further ado:

Link to AO3 here : Signal Lost - a John Price x reader fic

----- here's a blurb to pique your interest!

“I don’t think I’ve ever received a document as classified as this one. What am I supposed to do with it, Kate?” he says, dragging his thumb across the pile of papers, each file filled with more ink than the last.

“You asked for proof, there’s your proof,” Laswell says.

“You said you’ll bring someone competent, and who can help us, this doesn’t tell me shit.” He stares blankly at the screen, tired. She stares back.

“The Captain specifically asked to keep this under wraps.”

He rubs at his face, scratching at his beard. It’s getting long again.

“Who is he, anyway?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

He groans again, picking up the file on top. No photo, no name, no age, no height, weight, no nothing . And he thought Simon was secretive.

“What can you tell me?”

“It’s the closest we’ve ever gotten to him. Did things a particular way.”

He shifts through the papers. “And the discharge?”

“Left after the entire team got wiped out. Messy stuff.”

“That why he doesn’t show his face?” He bends forward, grabbing the cigar from the ashtray and bringing it to his lips.

“John.” Her voice carries a heavy warning.

“Just sayin’,” he says, biting around the cigar with one side of the mouth. “What kinda captain doesn’t go down with his men?”

“Got enough guilt as is. You’re lucky I convinced them.”

They both remain silent. They know the missions would be a slippery slope. One wrong move and a war is started. He puffs a cloud of smoke.

“Anything else?” John asks.

Kate looks to the side, her face illuminated by another screen. He can see her hesitate, her lips are pursed in a thin line as if she’s debating her options.

“You’ve worked together before.”

His face lights up. “Finally! Who?”

Her face immediately hardens back up. “Can’t tell, John, my hands are tied.” She sighs. “You were still a Lieutenant.”

Years ago then. He mentally catalogs everyone he’s ever worked with, but he knows that at that age, he was throwing himself at every available mission, wanting to make a name for himself. “So an old fart then? How’s that gonna help us?” If the guy was a Captain when he was still a Lieutenant, and he felt himself grow old, he can’t imagine who Laswell is bringing back from the dead.

Laswell’s face distorts, he knows he’s pushing her buttons, but he has to know.

“Not older than you John.”

His eyebrows raise. “Oh?”

---

or

returning to the military to hunt Makarov is hard enough, to do it with your past lover is even harder. a "friends to lovers to enemies to friends and back to lovers" story

---

Tags and other CW: will be posted for each chapter containing warnings for more hardcore stuff (i.e., torture and angst namely), but this is a fanfic, with smut, so if you want all the tags feel free to check the ao3 link bc there are a LOT and I am lazy to retype them all here

[lurafita]

Twisting Fairy Tales

Today's edition: Cinderella

Featuring: Magnus in the role of the non-evil Stepmom Raphael and Simon in the roles of the non-evil Stepsiblings Clary in the role of Cinderella Alec in the role of the crown prince who is so much more interested in the stepfather of the weird girl who keeps talking to the ducks in the royal pond Jace, the crown prince's first knight who is very much interested in the weird girl and wishes she would step away from the creepy ducks And Izzy in the role of the younger sister of the crown prince who would really rather talk to the Bane brothers than the princes to foreign kingdoms that hher parents have lined up for her.

[ebbpettier]

i love wayward son but as someone who worked at a renfest his whole childhood (and is desperate to work for one again but money's tight) i have an ULTIMATE NITPICK

[boypussydilf]

the montage of cake ruining shit in ooo by Doing Cat Things… the thing i vaguely half-remember from an adam muto interview abt fionna fucking things up in magical worlds sometimes bc shes coming from an angle of reacting like it’s a Video Game or something…. and simons whole. the way he interacts w absolutely everyone he doesnt feel a need to be “okay” for… I think our main cast might be the Making The Situation Worse gang. theyre here to roll up and ruin everything. cake is magic now but she still has the mind and perspective of a normal cat, fionna doesn’t know how to interact with any of these universes from the perspective of them being unique worlds with real people, and simon just wants to make a fucking beeline to trying to shut his brain off. this is going to go poorly ❤️

[lesbianwyllravengard]

I've decided that in any kind of 'Simon and Daniel are brothers' headcanon I will always insist that Simon is the younger, whether that's younger brother or younger twin. My reason for this is entirely because he reminds me a lot of my younger sister, and when we were kids and my brother and I would get in trouble for misbehaving she was always perfect and she'd point it out. "I didn't say that bad word, mommy", "dad, I wasn't yelling", "I ate all my dinner", and I could absolutely see Simon doing that shit with Markus and the Jericrew. North and Josh are fighting and Simon's sitting there pleasantly like "I wasn't arguing, Markus😌" absolute whore for approval and favour

[soymsan-entro]

@goldenliartrash tagged me to make a poll of my five all time fav characters and then tag five people to do the same. I am not entirely sure I have 5 active mutuals but let's go.

my tags are @focushiccup, @roseblackout, @aclassicalkilljoy, @teaboot who is not a mutual but I'm very curious about theirs and @lirocrew

[devilsskettle]

dinner in america is such a “take what you want from it and leave the rest” movie for me because i do think it’s very cute and i can buy into some of the wish fulfillment nature of the story but admittedly there are some parts that really don’t work for me, there are some parts that fall a little flat either in terms of the characters or humor, and the pacing is a bit of a challenge tbh. but it’s unbelievable what the human brain can overcome by virtue of simply Just Liking That Guy

[lesbiten]

ppl who neglect their cats and leave them outside will be like "we literally domesticated cats they used to be WILD and UNTAMED and so they should live outside!!!!!!" .....................what do you think domestication is all about like did you forget that before you finished the sentence or

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

I apologize in advance if it's weird, I'm just communicating through a translator 😅 Have you ever wondered whose idea it was to create the Phantom? Who could have come up with such a character? I'm not talking about the company, I'm talking about the developers. Was it one person's idea?

I'm assuming what you mean by Phantom is Ghost, and I don't know bro like I wasn't in the Infinity Ward meeting room man.