#who is totally into the pretty man with three kids who has lost two spouses already

[lurafita]

Twisting Fairy Tales

Today's edition: Cinderella

Featuring: Magnus in the role of the non-evil Stepmom Raphael and Simon in the roles of the non-evil Stepsiblings Clary in the role of Cinderella Alec in the role of the crown prince who is so much more interested in the stepfather of the weird girl who keeps talking to the ducks in the royal pond Jace, the crown prince's first knight who is very much interested in the weird girl and wishes she would step away from the creepy ducks And Izzy in the role of the younger sister of the crown prince who would really rather talk to the Bane brothers than the princes to foreign kingdoms that hher parents have lined up for her.

[myhauntedsalem]

30 Doctors, Nurses and Paramedics Describe their Most Disturbing Medical Stories

1. The Guessing Game

“I work as an ICU nurse. A mid-20s female came in with some serious cardiac abnormalities and then went into respiratory distress. Never had any medical history at all. We had to put her on the ventilator, but she was on just enough sedation to keep her lucid. She could nod/shake her head yes and no appropriately to questions.

One night, the patient in the room next to hers died, but the body was still in the room about to be taken to the morgue. The female patient’s door was closed with curtains drawn, so she couldn’t have seen what was going on next door. When I went in to check on her, she had a look of sheer panic on her face, trembling. I asked her a series of questions to see if she was cold/hot/in pain/etc. and she denied all. I asked her if she saw something—she started to aggressively nod her head YES. She wasn’t on any drugs that would make her hallucinate. I went on to get details on what this thing looked like. After playing 20 questions I got this: a man, pale white, left arm missing, heavy, bald, standing still, behind me. This was the man who had just died next door.

I spent the rest of the night consoling her.” – whites42

2. Life After Death

“When I was on an ER rotation during med school we got a call about a 23-year-old woman who was shot in the head, and who was already completely gone, but was reportedly five months pregnant so they were doing CPR until they got her to the hospital to see if the baby was viable. They got her to the ER and did an ultrasound and turned out the baby was full-term so they did a C-section in like under a minute and got the baby out.

I don’t think it’s so incredibly uncommon but it was pretty surreal to see a baby delivered from a dead person with their brain exposed and she was pretty close to the same age I was at the time.” – bluegraypurple

3. The Last Goodbye

“When I was a student, I got called in on a stroke patient. She had coded and they were doing CPR. They worked for 45 minutes, but she died. They cleaned her up, and called on the family to say goodbye, but by that time the family left. She had been both brain dead and without a pulse for more than 45 minutes. Blood had filled her brain, and she was completely grey and started to smell. Suddenly, she sat up, and called for her family. The nurses rushed to get monitors and equipment back on her. They started working on her again, she stabilized, said goodbye to her family, and promptly died a second time.” – simplesimon6262

4. Miracle Man

“When I was in trauma surgery in upstate by, got a notification about a man who was shot 3 times in the head. He comes in, literally one eye hanging out of the socket, blood everywhere, and he’s slumped forward. Apparently, he was shot in the temple, exited out his right eye socket, in the nose exited from the roof of the mouth, and In the cheek one with exit from the side of the head.

At this point, I’m thinking they just brought him in so we can pronounce him in the ER because he looked dead. I go to examine him and tilt his head back, and he says ‘Yoooo be gentle!’ I jump back and scream like a little boy, as did everyone in the room. Literally, the bullets missed his brain in every single shot.” – Noimnotonacid

5. Bleeding

“One of the aides I work with said she was doing postmortem care on a patient who had been on many, many anticoagulants before death. She said when they turned her on her side she started bleeding out of every orifice—eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. She said her and the nurse went home and had nightmares for a week.” – sparklingbluelight

6. The Haunted Hospital

“My town has two really old hospitals. One no longer functions overnight, and the stories are unsettling. No one cleans the old ER alone because all the lights and call bells go off. On other floors, there’s a kid with his ball, a lady in a white dress, etc. A coworker was cleaning an entire floor utterly solo (the norm) and bounced between rooms because the cleaning solution stays wet for a few minutes. Upon returning to a freshly wiped bed, hand prints were clearly visible.” – Sapphire_Starr

7. Eyeless

“I used to do home care for an elderly lady with learning disabilities and no eyes (they were removed due to a congenital condition). She was lovely but prone to wandering around her flat at night in total silence, which led to several horrifying situations where I left my room at 2 am only to encounter her standing silently in the hallway, turning her eyeless face towards me.” – NovelistResearcher

8. Lonely

“One call that will always haunt me was on an unresponsive female at around three in the morning. We get there and do some pointless CPR along with the fire department… She had been dead for a while; no shock-able rhythm, and clear rigor mortis. The most disturbing part was that the original caller was her 11-year-old daughter, who had just spent three days with her mother’s corpse and called 9-1-1 because she was ‘lonely’. It also didn’t help that the victim was completely naked when we arrived.” – CupofJoe776

9. Clear Waters

“I have quite a few stories, most of them are hilarious and then there are those you never want to think about. What fucked me up the most was when I saw how eyes change at the moment of death. Imagine you are looking at clear water but that clear water changes to foggy in an instant. In my 8 years here I’ve only seen this once, and I’ve personally seen well over 250 dead or dying people.” – ImCuden

10. Night Lights

“I work nights in a long-term care facility as a nurse’s assistant. I have two men under my care and both of them are unable to use their call lights. They have severe dementia and debilitating Parkinson’s disease but still, their lights are looped around their bed rail. One night their light came on and I went to answer it already confused and creeped out. I turned it off and left the room. Before I could get two doors up the light came back on. I went in there and both lights were unplugged from the wall and thrown under their beds. I fished them out, plugged them back in and left.

I’ve seen shadows standing over the dying and felt a tap on my shoulder while doing chest compression’s so I knew that lady had passed.” – beeoakly

11. Holding Hands

“I’ve had a couple of weird calls. One was a major MVA-head on many, many years ago when we played M.E. as well. We had 2 DOA (husband and spouse) that were killed instantly in a head-on collision. They had a 12-year-old daughter that was in between them and they actually took the impact, saving her life.

While en route, we noticed the husband’s arm had come loose so I went back to re-strap it. As I was doing that, the wife’s arm suddenly fell out as well, and her hand fell into her husband’s. My boss was watching in the rearview mirror and helped clear the way as I ran back into the front. It spooked both of us. Apparently, the couple (mid 30’s), had just found out he was cancer free after his last treatment.” – Anonymous

12. Last Meal

“I had an old lady come in by ambulance, near death. She was a DNR (do-not-resuscitate), so we weren’t going to do much for her. She didn’t have any family that we could find. The hospital was full, so we had to keep her in the ER for the night.

Again, she was near death. When you’ve seen enough people die, there’s no mistaking it, and she was almost there. Barely responsive; pale, cool, breaths were really irregular, heart rate was up and down, too. We just turned the lights down and kept an eye on her monitor, basically waiting for her to die.

About an hour later, she’s standing at the door of her room. She’d gotten up and put on all her clothes. We were all like, ‘WTF?’ One of the nurses went to check on her, and she said she was hungry. Not knowing really what to make of things, we got her a chair, a bedside table, and went to the cafeteria and got her a tray of food.

She sat there, ate all her food, talked with the staff a little. After about an hour, she told her nurse that she was tired and wanted to lie back down. We helped her back into bed, and within 30 minutes she was dead.” – Anonymous

13. “Don’t Let me go Back there”

“When my mom worked as an E.R. nurse a guy came in from a car accident and was losing blood. In the midst of resuscitation, the man jolts awake and screams ‘Don’t let me go back there! Please, please, please don’t let me go back!’ A few seconds later they lost him.” – JeremyHowell

14. The Rusty Old Saw

“This woman was clearly struggling mentally. She went into her basement and started sawing at her wrists horizontally with a rusty hacksaw, bleeds a good amount, and then starts walking around the house. She wasn’t dying quick enough, so she sat down in a chair in the middle of the living room, and started going at her wrists again, this time with a pair of scissors.

I was the second person inside the house. It looked like a massacre. We searched the house top to bottom, fully expecting to find multiple dead bodies in there. I’ve never seen so much blood in my life. Every single room had a trail of blood in it.

The woman was found on a chair in the living room. Rigor mortis had contorted her body into a really strange, unnatural pose, and her face was haunting. Literally the stuff of nightmares. Her wrists had huge chunks of skin/veins/muscle missing from them. Saying she slit her wrists is inaccurate. She ripped them to pieces.” – anoncop1

15. Visitors

“I work a stroke/telemetry floor on the bought shift. Most of our patients are elderly. Apparently, there are two things that patients see before they pass away. Some will say that two men are walking in their rooms and telling them to get ready to leave. The patient will call and tell us that these men are big and abrasive in their demeanor. They are either terrified or annoyed when they see the two men. The other thing they will see is a little boy who will go into their rooms and try to wake them up. The boy is usually loud and runs around their rooms. The patients will call and ask who’s letting children just run around late night. Several nights or even that same shift we’re coding or cleaning the patient for the funeral home to pick up.” – pokfynder

16. The Handsome Man in Black

“I used to work in a skilled nursing facility, usually assigned to the Alzheimer’s ward. One night I’m in the linen room stocking my cart, and I heard someone shuffle up behind me, then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and there was no one else in the room. The door was still shut too.

Another lady started to complain that a man was coming into her room at night (again, Alzheimer’s so I didn’t think much of it) so to reassure her, I told her I’d check on her throughout the night. She complained of this man for every night for two more weeks when I asked her to describe him to me.

‘He’s real handsome, and wears a black suit. Oh. He’s right behind you now, honey.’

That freaked me the f*ck out. Of course, there was no one behind me. She died the next night in her sleep.” – Anonymous

17. The Blender

“We got a call for a male in his early 30s with ‘heavy groin trauma’ (exact words of the dispatcher). We roll up lights and sirens and the guy is waiting for us on the front step with a towel over his crotch. We barely come to a stop and the guy is already running towards the rig holding this towel. I asked him what was wrong and he moved the towel and this guy’s dick was just barely hanging on. Apparently, he had ‘lady problems’ so he decided to fornicate with the food mixer he had in his kitchen and accidentally turned it on.” – YayShinny

18. The Charred Skin

“Motorcycle driver, accident, third-degree burns, arrived DOA. Had to transfer him from ambulance gurney to ER bed. As we were moving him with a transfer sheet, the liquefied/cooked subcutaneous fat caused the charred skin on his back to separate and his body slipped onto the floor (despite several of us trying to ‘catch’ him).” – Doc-in-a-box

19. Dead Man Moaning

“Worked security through college at a local hospital. The only ‘creepy’ thing I remember is when a dead man moaned. One of my duties was to help wheel patients who had expired down to the in-house morgue. Once we were wheeling an older man from the ER down and halfway down the hallway he let out this low moan. I started to panic, thinking that he was coming back to life but the RN explained to me (newbie) that sometimes the air in the lungs doesn’t come out until sometime later or is delayed for a bit.” – ill_do_it-later

20. Otherworldly Screams

“I have had fellow coworkers swear that strange things have occurred in the ER. Two people that I work with were charting at the nurse’s station when they both heard a scream followed by incoherent words come from one of our open bays. There were three patients in the room and they denied screaming or hearing anything. I have also had fellow coworkers talk about hearing strange voices especially after really bad codes and one person states she felt someone grabbing her shoulder after the doc pronounced a trauma code. These are all respectable people and I do not think they would lie.” – Anonymous

21. Blank Stare

“We got a call to go out to a scene for an elderly woman with chest pains. I arrive at the house, front door is open. We knock, hear the old woman calling out from the back ‘I’m in the back room’ in a very monotone and calm voice. My partner and I go to the back of the house looking for this woman, and that’s when we smelled it. Nothing prepares you for the smell of rotting corpse. I’ve smelled it a dozen times, and it never gets any less disturbing. We radio for police and ALS backup as we move through the house.

We opened the door to the master bedroom, and there is our patient. She is approximately 80, and she is staring at the master bathroom with these cold, dead eyes. She never once looked at us as we approached her and began talking to her. I got to the bedside and got in front of her gaze, and she just looked right through me. I turned around to see what she could possibly be looking at, and there was the source of my smell.

A man, about the same age as my patient, is on the floor with very little left of his head still attached to his body. A shotgun lay on the floor next to him, and most of his head was strewn about the walls and bathroom counter. We loaded the woman up in the ambulance, and our police backup pulled up.

I don’t think that woman blinked once the entire time she was in our care.” – TheFilthiest

22. “Bill’s Here”

“I’m an RN and while I was a student I was caring for a lady who had an end-stage renal failure, had a DNAR (do not attempt resuscitation) and was shutting down. We were having a little chat when she stopped, looked over my shoulder and said ‘Bill’s here love, I’ve got to go,’ and swiftly stopped breathing. Read her old notes and Bill was her deceased husband.” – Jesspandapants

23. The Body on the Floor

“The call was for an older woman, lying in bed. When we get there, the smell is horrendous of a dead body. There are millions of flies everywhere and a little old lady in lying in the bed, alive. About five feet away, there is a body covered up by a sheet. The lady was a dementia patient, and her husband (the deceased) was the primary caregiver. Based on the number of flies and state of decomposition, the police estimated the guy had been dead for about three weeks. The woman must have been getting some food out of the refrigerator, but it was totally empty by the time we arrived.

The creepiest part happened on the way to the hospital with the woman, she said, ‘I hope that nice man on the floor is OK’.” – Tools4toys

24. The Fallen Cross

“I responded to a call where a janitor was dusting quite a large stone cross in the middle of a church. He had been up on a ladder cleaning, when he slipped off, and proceeded to try to hold onto the cross to keep from falling. Unfortunately, the weight of the 200-pound man was too much to support. The cross fell towards him, landing on his left arm, with a part of the horizontal stone of the cross, pushing his muscles and tendons out of his wrist like a squeezed toothpaste tube. Then the cross fell completely on him splattering his brain across the floor. Quite disturbing, and definitely the most horrific and gore filled call I had ever witnessed.” – UpboatOarKnotUpboat

25. The Headless Nurse

“I used to work in St Barts Hospital in London, which in parts is over 1,000 years old. One of the buildings had 2 floors (with massively high ceilings), and so the floors were taken out and rearranged to make into 5 floors. The nurses working night shift would often tell us of the ghost of a night nurse who wandered silently doing her ’rounds’ at night—but due to the new floors, only her head would be visible drifting down the ward.” – jenthejedi

26. Monsters

“I was still a nursing student at the time, but this was from when I had my psychiatric clinical placement in my 3rd year.

I was assigned to a young male patient with schizophrenia. He had been a voluntary admission because he heard voices telling him to hurt people around him, and he admitted himself because he was afraid of actually going through with it.

Anyway, I went into the room alone, as usual, and did the usual introduction and asking how he was doing. He was at a desk drawing creepy, hideous monsters—each monster had its own page, and there had to be at least half a dozen of these pages scattered around him. I asked him what they were. He answered that those were the monsters he saw. They were the monsters that whispered to him and told him to hurt people and do awful things. Guarded, I asked him, ‘Are they telling you to hurt me?’

He answered, ‘Yes.’

I didn’t stay very long in that room.” – duckface08

27. The Man in Black

“People turn batshit crazy and creepy as hell when they get really sick. There’s even a term called ICU psychosis…and trust me, it’s real. Anyway, the creepiest that takes the cake for me is this (am an ICU nurse, btw): Had a patient who was admitted for overdose. Very long history of mental health problems. She was thrashing around in bed, very combative, kicking people’s asses for days, totally incoherent.

Well, the night I had her, she started making decent sense, but still not oriented at all. She was extremely paranoid and kept talking about the man in black in the corner. I’d hear her talking to him and screaming, all night long. So I’d go in there and try to calm her down, but you could see the fear in her eyes. she was talking other nonsense about how she was in space and shit, and with certain patients, you try to redirect their ‘reality,’ but what I did didn’t help. She said ‘that man in black! Don’t you see him!’ and pointed to the corner. I said ‘there’s nobody here.’ I stepped in the corner she was pointing to and waved my hands around. While I’m waving my hands around in the air, she had the most horrifically terrified look on her face that actually scared the shit out of me, like I had just assaulted the man in black. I said ‘see, there’s nobody here’ and she said in a matter-of-factly that’s what you think.’ I promptly got the fu*k out of there.” – HeatherTakasaki

28. Eyes Wide Open

“I work in palliative. Most deaths I’ve seen have been more or less peaceful, though the ones that are not, stick with you. One guy was silently screaming through his last few hours of life. Another guy (who up until this point had been unresponsive) reached up and grabbed me when we attempted to lower his bed to turn him.

One time while doing post-mortem care I walked into the room and thought ‘that’s weird, how come nobody has closed his eyes yet?’ He had that movie-perfect dead look, with pale blue staring eyes and slack jaw and greyish, waxy skin. I closed his eyes and started the care, and when I looked again those eyes, still staring at me, were slowly opening, one slightly slower than the other. He groaned when we turned him to wash his back and his hand managed to clamp onto the bed rail and we had to pry it off. When we finally got him onto his back again, there was a foul-smelling, oily black, viscous liquid on the pillowcase. I cleaned his mouth again thinking it must have come from there, but his mouth and nose were clean. The best I could figure the stuff had come from his eye. I couldn’t wait to get that bag zipped up.” – draakons_pryde

29. Crawling up the Hallway

“I used to work as an STNA in a nursing home. Worked third shift throughout university. During the night we turned half the lights off so it was darker for the evening and didn’t get a lot of light in the residents’ rooms. We had one resident who was younger (70s) and was mostly in for mental reasons. She had long, dark hair and was very thin.

I was sitting at the nurse’s station at the top of the hall and heard a call light go off. I stood up, looked down the dark hall, and on all fours—straight out of The Ring—this resident was crawling up the hall toward me. The other STNA had forgotten to put the bed rail up and the resident was VERY good at climbing out of bed.

Needless to say, I needed some new britches and my heart was racing a mile a minute.” – blameitonthewookie

30. Heaven

“Had a young woman in full liver failure. She was orange in color and she was still conscious. She asked me what I thought it would be like to die. I told her I didn’t know but I hoped it wouldn’t be painful. She then asked me if I thought I would go to heaven. I told her that I believed I would. She asked me if I thought she would go to heaven, and I told her I wasn’t able to answer that question.

She then told me ‘I am going to heaven and I know it,’ and I asked her how she knew that and she told me something that I will never ever forget. She told me ‘I know I am because that man over there told me so.’ I asked what man and she said the man sitting on the end of the bench. I asked her what he looked like and she said ‘he looks just like the Jesus on the windows of my church.’

Well, to tell you I was pretty well affected by that statement. She then went on to say ‘And he says that you are going to go to heaven too.’

We then prayed and I will never forget that interaction between the two of us. About a week later she passed away. I hope she made it to heaven.” – Anonymous

[phantoms-lair]

Based on this by @cirilee​

None of them really had any time to process what happened. It seemed one moment they were trying to figure out why Shaggy and Scooby never showed up at school, the next a strange wizard named Vincent had appeared, been blatantly supernatural, apparently because he didn’t have time to convince them gently, then teleported them to a creepy old house in the Himalayas.

Any thought of protest died when they saw Shaggy in a wheelchair, looking like he was a half step away from the grave.

“Like, sorry guys,” Shaggy said with a weak smile.

“Sorry for what?” Daphne asked, running to his side.

“For not getting help the moment he realized there was a problem.” Vincent had his arms crossed and was looking annoyed.

Shaggy shrugged. “Like who could I ask? Last couple of times you didn’t exist or were an actor.”

Vincent didn’t budge. “And you had eighteen years this iteration.”

“Yeah, that’s on me.” Shaggy admitted. “But this is usually the best part and I was hoping to get through it.”

“The best part of what?’ Fred asked, confused.

“Of us, man. Of life. Of having the freedom to go out and explore before responsibility pulls us down.”

Vincent put a comforting hand on his shoulder, “Perhaps you should let me explain. I gave you a lot to process.” “I know, and, like, I think I understood a third of it. But I should at least tell them what I did know. I should have done it before. Just didn’t know how.” He shifted a bit uncomfortably. “This...isn’t the first time we’ve done this.”

“I am fairly certain this is the first time a wizard kidnapped us.” Velma pointed out, wondering what was happening to her friend.

“No. Well, first time this go round. That’s the thing. All of this, being friends, growing up, solving mysteries, we’ve done it so often.” He shuddered and Scooby curled up to him, whining softly.

“This isn’t important. We need to get you to a hospital.” Velma insisted. Strange impossible stories could wait.

“A hospital can’t help, Velms. Only thing that would happen is freaking out the staff.”

“This is magic? A curse?” Daphne surprised, trying not to think of what would traumatize a hospital staff.

“That’s what I thought, but this is beyond magic.  So, like I said, we’ve done this before. Became friends, grew up, solved mysteries, and then I died.”

Scooby crawled into his lap and his friends were rendered speechless.

“I didn’t stay dead,” Shaggy quickly added. “I just remember wanting to stay with you guys more and...everything started again. We were kids, we grew up, we solved mysteries. Things were a little different though. Our families, the world itself. And it happened again and again. It was like reincarnation, only across different versions of Earth and we were always together. Some were pretty great others...not so much. You never remembered, but it was okay. We were together. Then,” He looked down. “Like two or three lifetimes ago I starting feeling not so great. And things seemed to be getting weird, like the world was more malleable or something. But I didn’t really have anyone to go to, not till this lifetime. I figured I’d track down Vincent after graduation, but I ran out of time.” He looked at the wizard, as if passing the story off to him. “While I disapprove of Shaggy waiting this long to get help, as he apparently met other magical versions of me and said nothing, I was able to determine what had happened. And it’s very unprecedented.” Vincent took over. “Shaggy mentioned the worlds you were reincarnated were different. From what I surmise, you’ve been reincarnating across the multiverse, and the multiverse itself is key to what been going on.”

“Go on,” said Velma in a tense tone.

“The multiverse is truly infinite, new worlds are brought into existence, with their own magics and physics. And each time a new world comes into existence a new deity is created with it. In order for said deity to truly understand their purpose they’re incarnated as a mortal to live out a life in another reality before ascending and taking their place. It has happened countless times before and will happen countless times again. But only once has said deity lived their mortal life and, instead of ascending, forced himself into reincarnation, dragging four mortal souls along with him.”

“Wait.” Fred interrupted. “Wait wait wait wait. You’re telling us that Shaggy is a...a god?”

“A nascent one, like a chick in an egg.” Vincent confirmed. “Albeit one that has put off hatching for what would seem to amount to centuries. While over time his power has grown, spilling out around him, the shell -so to speak- has not gotten any smaller.”

“I believe your exact words were ‘My power has become too vast for this flesh vessel to contain’.” Shaggy quoted.

“And you had no idea what I meant when I said it, so I was trying to be more clear.” Vincent shot back. “But the long and short of it is: Shaggy’s power is killing him. He doesn’t have much time left.”

“But you said he’s a god! If he’s immortal how can he die?” Fred asked, distraught. He needed to fix this, how could he fix this?

“His body isn’t.” Velma said in realization. “God soul, mortal body. The chick has gotten too big and it’s breaking through the egg. It’s going to-” She cut off as she realized what was happening. What always happened when too much pressure was put in a vessel unable to contain it. No wonder he said the hospital would be traumatized; he wasn’t just going to die -he was going to explode.

“Still, we’re not going to let you die that easily, Norville!” Daphne sounded close to snapping. “If the problems that you have too much energy, then let us share your power. We’ve been together over several lifetimes and we’re not leaving you now.”

“Apparently you’d all need to, like, marry me intergalactically.” Vincent had tried to explain it to his a number of times before they’d settled on that.

“Heck yes!” “Yeah, sure.” “Alright”

Shaggy blinked in surprise, a blush spreading over his cheeks. There had been no hesitation, even joy. “Really?”

“Honestly, even if your life didn’t depend on it, it feels good. It feels right.” Fred shrugged.

“I don’t remember the past lives we lived together, but when we met in this one I knew on sight that you guys were the most important people I would even meet and that I belonged with you.” Daphne explained.

“I don’t like this business with magic, past lives, and god souls, but honestly same.” Velma shrugged a bit uncomfortably. “All of you are so important to me. I don’t understand how a wedding is going to save you, but I’d be happy to marry you, all of you, even without such a need.”

“You guys...you can’t…” Shaggy shook his head. “I stole your souls from your home reality because I was too selfish to let you go.” Sure he didn’t understand what he was doing, but he had done it. “You guys were totally supposed to go to heaven, get the whole eternal reward thing and I just kept dragging you away. If you do this, there’s no afterlife ever. No reunion with lost loved ones. Just eternity as an immortal. This is, like, really really permanent. I can’t take that from you again.”

“This is not a simple wedding. It is a joining of selves, allowing his divinity to spill into your soul.” Vincent explained. “It will allow him to survive to the natural end of this lifetime, but either way this is the end of the cycles. Whether it is today or many years down the line, Shaggy can no longer put off his ascension. He’s only managed this long because his bond with Scooby Doo had already acted as a siphon. But if you accept, the divinity will change you, even in this lifetime. You’ll be different, and when you die you’ll ascend with him, forever separated from this and every other world you’ve ever called home. A ‘divorce’, so to speak, would shred both of your souls. Hera would have ditched Zeus ages ago otherwise.”

“TODAY!!!” Daphne shrieked. “Shaggy’s going to die today?!?!”

“Shaggy is not going to die, because we are going to marry him and live out our lives here before going to do God stuff.” Fred crossed his arms as if daring Shaggy or Vincent to argue. “You can’t,” Shaggy said weakly. “I stole you. It’s not right.”

“Shaggy, would you say we deserve to be happy?” Velma asked.

“Like, of course!” How could she think otherwise?

“We’ll, you’re my happiness, along with Fred and Daphne, so I’ve got two words for you.” She looked him in the eye. “I do.” Velma leaned down and gave him a long deep kiss.

There was a sudden flare of near blinding blue light that seemed to emanate from Shaggy before it flowed through the kiss into Velma. She broke the kiss, laughing almost giddily. “Oh wow. That is a feeling.”

Shaggy seemed to be struggling to catch his breath, but on the whole, looked healthier than he’d been since they got here. “Like, yeah.” was all he could add, dumbstruck.

Fred and Daphne shared a look and nodded. Fred leaned over the wheelchair while Daphne scooped Velma up in her arms. “I do,” they both said together, giving their loved ones the same kiss Velma had before.The blue light flaring in both Shaggy and Velma and spreading to the other two. They then switched partners, and then came together, affirming and reaffirming their love.

“Raggy?” Scooby asked, looking up at his best friend.

Shaggy always knew what Scooby meant. He hadn’t said anything, after all. Scooby was asking if he accepted it. Accepted his dearest ones’ love and promise to be with him, to even give up being human for him. And it was selfish, but…

“I do! I do! I do!” Shaggy leapt from the wheelchair, no longer needing its aid. He grabbed the three of them, his dearest friends, now and forever his spouses. He had only wanted a chance to explain and say goodbye. But they had stayed with him. They had saved him and even loved him.

The blue divine light flowed freely from all of them, even Scooby. It wasn’t a flare of power, but a manifestation of pure happiness.

Wherever they were in the multiverse, as long as they were together, it was home.

[closetofanxiety]

Fyter Fest: SUCCESS

I liked this show a lot! Not everything was to my taste, but there was plenty to enjoy. Briefly:

* The Cody vs. Darby Allin match was one of the best wrestling matches I’ve seen in 2019. The crowd was a little subdued for long stretches of it, perhaps being accustomed to more of a flashy style, but I loved the whole thing. Cody, who liked like a giant compared to Allin, was trying to wrestle and old-school (dare I say, Southern) style match, while Allin was trying to shift it to a more familiar indie style, which would be to his advantage. It was a genuine collision of two different approaches to wrestling, and it worked incredibly well. Darby took at least two completely insane bumps I’ve never seen anyone do, and after one of them, Cody contemptuously did push-ups in the ring. THAT’S GOOD OLD SCHOOL VILLAINY. I also loved that this was a time-limit draw, another old school story device. Neither guy lost any face in the match, and the crowd was still excited by the end, which they timed very well (Cody hit his finisher with two seconds left, and thus couldn’t get the three-count). Cody, derided in his initial indie run as “The Three-Star General” for his supposedly pedestrian matches, has stolen the show on both AEW events so far. 

* I did not love the post-match run-in by Shawn Spears! Without getting into any of the piping hot takes about unprotected chair shots, I thought it pulled focus from the great wrestling match that just happened, with Darby Allin being turned into kind of an afterthought. I get that they need to advance storylines and right now they don’t have weekly TV to do that, but this felt almost Russo-esque. 

* The Moxley-Janela match was really good! Going into it, I wondered how much different an AEW hardcore match was going to be from the WWE template. Like, would they go full indie and have shopping carts and pizza graters and barbecue skewers? The answer is no: we didn’t see any items in this match that would be outside the bounds of a WWE match (except maybe the barbed wire), but it was how the two wrestlers used them that made the difference. The barbed wire spots were wince-inducing without being truly gruesome, the tables were swiftly destroyed, and the barefoot thumbtacks spot at the end was a stroke of sadistic genius. What a first match for Moxley in AEW!

* The women’s triple threat match was a little sloppy at parts, but the whole thing was redeemed by Nyla Rose totally playing against type down the stretch and hitting a truly insane flying guillotine knee drop from the top turnbuckle. She then snapped off a truly brutal German suplex to solidify her status as the early badass of AEW. Yuka Sakazaki and Riho looked a little out of step a few times, but mostly they did well in the role of competitors who also have to compete against the monster opponent. 

* One thing AEW has managed to do well so far is put on three and four-way matches that don’t get bogged down the way they do so often in other companies. You know: there’s a three-way match and invariably one person spends most of it outside the ring, effectively turning into a two-person match with occasional run-ins. In the women’s match and in the four-way, AEW’s agents managed to produce matches that actually felt like all the competitors were involved throughout the course of the contests. The four-way was particularly good, and should go a fair distance toward making Jungle Boy a breakout star in the company. He’s got a great look, he’s got unique offense, and his friendship with giant dinosaur man Luchasaurus is the stuff of a marketer’s dreams. 

* The six-man tag was fine. I know this is going to sound like I’m complaining that a buffet is too good, but I think I’m full up on matches pitting the Young Bucks against the Lucha Bros for a while. They’re fun, they involve incredible athleticism and exhibitions of timing and skill, but you know what to expect. The bright spot of the match for me was the underappreciated luchador Laredo Kid, who got a lot of quality time as the Lucha Bros’ partner. 

* I really did not like the pre-show. The three-way tag match was very good, and I was really happy to see people online reacting with astonishment at Private Party. Those guys are fantastic, and they’re so young. They’re only going to get better. Everything after that match was extremely not my thing. I appreciate they’re trying to do something different with the comedy, and it’s going to be important for them to have something that connects with non-wrestling fans or wrestling-curious fans who aren’t going to want to watch two hours of matches every week. And I certainly don’t expect a company that has two shows under its belt to have a foolproof formula in place. But if they’re going to do comedy, they should really hire actual comedy writers, as much as the idea of writers has become a taboo in non-WWE wrestling. The jokes were flat and most of them centered around the Fyre Fest documentaries, which are really yesterday’s news at this point. 

* The librarian thing really died a death with the crowd. I don’t watch Being the Elite or The Road to, so I missed the explanation for this gimmick, but it does not come across well. The constant shushing is so bad it feels almost avant-garde after a while, like it’s actively confrontational with the audience over our expectations for a wrestling show. Then Leva Bates cut a heel promo in defense of books and I wanted to check out. Her match with Allie was decent for a match on a Shine midcard, but Leva’s limitations as a wrestler are pretty much what they’ve always been. The match ended with a totally blown spot that was supposed to be the pay off for the whole “the librarians love books” thing. Terrible.

* I hated the last pre-show match. Every once in a while, you’ll see a super local indie show where one of the sponsors gets to “wrestle,” usually meaning the crowd is treated to the owner of a car dealership standing on the apron for most of a tag match, until getting the chance to throw a weak clothesline and cover a hated midcard baddie for the three count. AEW, though, decided they should do that same thing but with the non-wrestler sponsor being put in a 10-minute hardcore match. I’m sure some people liked this. I am not among them. This match inadvertently featured the gnarliest spot of the night (until the Darby Allin coffin drop onto the edge of the apron JESUS DARBY WHAT ARE YOU THINKING DO YOU WANT TO DIE YOU HAVE A LOVING SLEAZY WEIRDO SPOUSE PLEASE THINK OF HER) when the fighting games convention organizer guy did a German suplex that dumped Nakazawa directly on his neck. Thank God Japanese wrestling training involves constant neck bridges! This is why super local indies only let the sponsor guys throw a weak clothesline: because they know that non-wrestlers doing wrestling moves endangers everyone’s safety. 

* Other things: Commentary seemed to be markedly better for the most part, thanks to the addition of “Goldenboy” who might be a video game person? (sorry video game people I am no use here) ... JR is really straying into Grampa Gaffes territory with his praise of “Oriental” wrestlers and blurting out that the women wrestlers all seem like his daughters ... the camera direction still needs work, with the director missing a number of big spots ... Kenny Omega running in to pummel Moxley after the final match was good stuff ... the Super Smash Brothers’ “Dark Order” thing is treading perilously close to Black Scorpion territory ... this was just shy of four hours, counting the pre-show, and I found myself wanting more when it was over ... a friend was over watching with me and we found ourselves yelling at the screen in a way we haven’t done with televised wrestling in a long time 

[mockky]

A sad story how Russo bros reminded us about the crappy world we live in

Disclaimer (kinda). Preventing the arguments like “read the comic-book to understand the movie”. First of all I've never read the comics and never will. I shouldn't do that to watch a movie. It's the director's job to tell me a story. It can be changed a bit, but it still has to have a logic. This is author's priority.

I guess there's no need to run through the movie again and get to details, it's too many of them. Just a few big ones. Firstly, the time travel idea is pretty lame by itself. Every time-travel-movie does the same mistakes – PARADOXES, no one managed to escape it. So if you can solve your problem only by time travel – please don't do the movie, this job is not for you.

It's like the creators don't know the rules of their own universe. Nebula translates her thoughts to Past-Nebula, they're connected somehow even being far from each other, killing Past-Nebula literally doesn't do anything. How does it work? All this plan just fucked up the previous movies. And then some random rat actually saves the universe? Seriously? I don't know but I think it’s called “lazy writing”.

OK, there's no movie without a sin. But what's really important is the screwed up characters. No one did or got anything what one was supposed to.

Loki. His extremely stupid, reckless and suicidal lunge actually was extremely stupid, reckless and suicidal. The God of Guile threw himself with a toothpick against titan and dropped dead. Bravo!

Thor. I never really was a fan of him. But this is officially the worst comic-relief ever. Why he should be like some sort of that whiny drunk dumbass, especially after him being so cool and strong in Infinity war? Gods saved us from fart-jokes and slow-mo-food-fight. Thor lost his parents, lost his brother and Asgard. He's broken and crushed, and Marvel just points finger at him and laughs. Very mature.

Doctor Strange showed up to show us a very important finger.

Captain Marvel is a whole new level of pain in the ass. Skip the Boring-IMBP-part. Though it's hard to forget how they just shoved her in fan's throats, and expected them to have the same empathy for her as for Tony or Cap. But we know them for 10 damn years! The biggest problem that she's not a person, she is God ex machine with magic GPS in her head, invincible, strong-independent-woman and all. With that cockish face of hers, kicked Thanos's ass, but when it comes to the gauntlet, it's up to Hulk and Tony. What da hell? All that power, it's the only thing she could help with. And don't give me that "it's a big universe, not only you've got problems" crap. Thanos's snap affected THE WHOLE universe. Isn't he the main threat here and now?

And what really pissed me of is the ending and the way it fucked up the most interesting and deep part of it all – Steve and Bucky.

Allow me to remind you few points.

CATFA

We see Steve as this tiny subtle guy with heart of gold and strong will, he is hero inside. I can do this all day. He wanted to go to war, he took the serum, he's like walking embodiment of self-sacrifice and heroism. But he became “the chorus girl”, this empty symbol, a fake. Actual soldiers don't believe and don't respect him, cuz he’s never been in real fight. He does not respect himself anymore. But when his friend got in danger in the blink of an eye Steve transforms into this Rambo, alone against the world, flipped like a switch. He dashed headlong to the enemy's base just for tiny possibility his friend might be alive. At that very moment Steve becomes what he meant to be – the real Captain America.

CATWS

Steve managed to get through 70 years of brainwashing with only one phrase, and refused to fight Winter soldier hoping that there was still Bucky somewhere. The entire movie revolves around two of them.

CATCW

Some fans said that Cap and Tony should switch sides on this one, but it doesn't feel right for me. Cap's got a point. What if there's somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us. Obviously it is CATFA reference, where he goes against orders to save Bucky. And he's afraid cuz he knows that it could cost lives. And now he's running around the city protecting Bucky from the government and T'Chala. He fights Tony, bloodily, everything to protect Bucky.

What a lovely deep drama! It's a comic-book story here we’re talking about. I bet in CATFA no one really noticed sweet little Bucky. But the Winter soldier just stole the movie and fan's hearts. Steve and Bucky have this strong almost cosmic bonds, it's stronger than brotherhood or friendship, it was so since 40s. After all this freezing thing they became totally unique for each other. You can smash vibranium shield with that bonds (which Cap actually does symbolically when gives up the shield TWICE, both times for Bucky). It's unbelievable that after all he did for Bucky Cap could ditch Bucky for anyone or anything. Creators teased the fans and encouraged that bromance. It was openly a queer-baiting, it was a canon, and you can't stop the shippers.

Three movies were built up on this relationship. It was work of art if you ask me – so many details, so much depth, and the amaizing acting, I mean you can watch it over and over, and every time you find something new in their eyes or words. And they not just talk, they actually do anything to proof their devotion to each other. It's absolutely beautiful. And it's Bucky who made Steve interesting and alive as a movie character and a real hero as a person.

And what we get in the end? Bucky turned into dust in front of Steve, but on the group meeting Steve talks about... Peggy? Where did it come from? He doesn't mention Bucky the whole movie. Steve goes to return the Infinity stones and comes back an old man. For us, for Bucky, it was 5 sec, but for Steve it was 70+ years. He left Bucky and lived 70+ years without him. Besides he never said Bucky about his plan (or just desire or whatever), didn't say a proper goodbye, didn't consider it as a betrayal. He just decided to live for himself. By the way Bucky reacted as if it was a big surprise for him and even bigger disappointment. He was anxious during that scene when Steve suddenly didn't show up on the platform. And if you wanna say “Bucky knew it was gonna happen and was happy for his friend” then it's the great time to keep your mouth shut. He obviously wasn't happy with it, and he didn't know. Post-movie interviews don’t count! Don’t tell me that it was off-screen. It’s a MOVIE! If something is important – it’s on the screen and it becomes a canon. Stupid scene in a cafe with selfie and kids IS on the screen, apparently it’s important af and it’s a canon. Fat greasy-haired Thor yells at some gamer in chat – that’s VERY important and it’s a canon. But a talk between best friends when one of them decided to leave the other for good and go to the past doesn’t deserve screen time. Are you sure you set your priorities right? By the way Sebastian asked Russo about this. He thought there would be some dialogue between Steve and Bucky, but director said No, you already had that conversation.

No wonder Bucky didn't approach to Steve and only looked from distance. What can you possibly say to the man who claimed himself your best friend and then easily abandoned you just like that, lived without you for 70+ years and apparently was OK with it.

Steve just goes to Peggy. Because that's how it must be, that's natural, that's happiness. This cliché stuck so deep in the people minds, so they can't see anything behind it. I'm sure that not so many people knows what it actually means, but they believe that it's the right thing.

I might blow few minds now. Here it goes – the closest person is the one who shares with you your life experience, not the bed. NO WAY! I'm not saying than your partner can't be your friend. Spouses are not always the closest friends and the closest friends are not always spouses. You just can't screw up all Steve's emotional baggage that related to Bucky just for Peggy, which was in Steve's life, what, like 15 minutes? Steve knows Bucky since childhood, they were best friends, they supported each other, lived together, protected and saved each other many times. They share the same fate (war, serum, man out of time), there's no one who can be closer. “He loves her so much!” arguments can't erase too much of a history. It just doesn't work that way! You can't exchange one for another. A loved one can't replace your best friend, cuz of damn emotional baggage! You can have both, you can have none, but you can't trade it!

And what about Peggy? CATFA-Peggy was not a good person actually. She's whimsical and eccentric damsel. For example she shoots 1) at the experimental read not properly tested shield 2) with a chance to kill someone by ricochet 3) in enclosed space without ears protection for her or everyone else; she punches a soldier for an inappropriate commentary. And the scene in the bar shows Peggy as a simply impolite person – she ignores the soldier who just got back from captivity, it's very rude, especially when Bucky was polite with her. And on top of this I think she picked interest in Steve only after the serum. I bet Pre-serum-Steve was friendzoned for the rest of his life.

In TV-series though she appears to have a strong personality. She is an interesting character and not just love interest for Steve. She founded the S.H.I.E.L.D., had a happy fulfilled life. She let Steve go. And when she died, Steve let her go. I don't believe for a one second she is the love of his life. Staring at the photo is NOT a depiction of love. Not in my book. It's just a woman Steve once kissed.

So what went wrong? They made such a great Steve's character development, they put so much in his relationship with Bucky. Countless details, shades and layers. Every scene, every dialogue. An all of it just... puff... vanished.

Actually it wasn't so sudden as it seems. First signs of it appeared in Civil war. Did you noticed how the creators put the distance between Bucky and Steve? It's like “Hey guys! You know this whole story gets kinda pansy. We stand for cliché, for heteronormativity and happy ends! Every man got a girl! You can't have best friend, not the same sex, only hetero! So quit with the hugs end eye-fucking, more masculinity! Sebastian, you must get as thick as you can, so nobody could say you're gay. And Steve's gonna make out with a girl, just to be safe”. And this kissing scene is the most awkward I've ever seen. This weird kiss out of the blue, the fact that Sam and Bucky are watching (BTW how often do you stare at your friends kissing? Please, share at the comment section). Even actors call this scene awkward and weird, they basically hate it. And in fact that this scene wasn't it the script, it was added much later.

Then the forced friendship between Bucky and Sam. Moreover, they tried to replace Steve'n'Bucky's friendship with it. Sam rather has a chemistry with Steve, not Bucky. And the way Mackie and Stan here and there together on comic-cons where Mackie acts like he's Stan's BBF and Stan's just embarrassed. This whole all of a sudden friendship thing feels so unnatural and stretched. It's not like I don't wanna Bucky has friends and all, adaptation and stuff, But it doesn't mean Bucky doesn't need Steve, no one can replace him. And it all was only to make their friendship NO HOMO. But the way I see it, there wasn't anything gay about them (BTW I'm not a shipper and not homophobic), just some people have dead opossum's emotional range. In their head the man wants either bang you or kill you, nothing in between. I'm sure nobody took seriously the idea that they make them gay, or that they look like gay. It's just bromance. But noooooooo. They must've done this to them, cuz Happily ever after.

Eventually we got what we got. In Endgame Steve and Bucky are barely shares the screen together, even if they actually next to each other, they don't hug, don't talk, don't even look. Even after Bucky got back from the dust. It's like they never cared for each other.

Steve considered Bucky recovered after being tortured and brainwashed for 70 (it still blows my mind how long it is!) years, he's OK. No one said he's OK though, even Bucky himself. He's still the same wrecked man lost in time and his own head with tremendous weight of guilt and torn apart personality. It's not the same Bucky from 40es, and he never will be. Steve’s the only one who could break through to him, for Bucky Steve is like the ground he stands, the only guide light in this chaos that left of his life. According to Stan – Steve is the only thing that keeps Bucky alive. Well, Bucky, sorry pal, gun or rope?

Steve is an asshole. He thinks he's so special and good enough to rewrite Peggy's life (which was good for Peggy without Steve) just because he wants it. Abandons Bucky, who has nothing but Steve, abandons the world he fought for and called his home, and the friends called family. All this for the woman, who was almost nothing to him especially compared with Bucky and the others. All the things Peggy said in a hospital, all the character development and his words about the man died in the ice, new home and new family – all of it was fucked up, buried under that shit. You need to move on. Until you get a time machine. Then you can go back. So what is it? Maybe Steve never was a hero and hence he doesn't deserve our respect. Or, what is the most likely, creators think we are idiots.

Steve gives the shield to Sam. And I wouldn't mind. Why not. This job definitely is not for Bucky. He's tired, he's semi-stable 100 years old man, he had enough of war for two lifetimes. It's too much for him, it would be cruel for Bucky. Symbolism is a cool thing, but life doesn't work that way. Pep-talks don't heal. Get real, OK? Sam is a new Cap, fine, it's logical. But it's always about the How, not What.

From the moment Bucky sees the old man on the bench til the end of the movie Bucky didn't even think about to approach Steve, he sent Sam instead. They didn't talk, Steve didn't even look at him. This entire scene Bucky has this endless sadness in his eyes. There's a glimpse of a smile when he looks at Sam, but in the moment it's gone. And then it's pain and sorrow on his face again. I don't really see happy Bucky. 

Just look at his eyes and tell me you look the same when you’re happy

And actually Steve doesn't sparkle with joy either. He kinda lived his “happy life”, but there's no sign of it, especially that he refused to talk about her. 

But it's confirmed information – Peggy's mysterious husband IS Steve Rogers.In the end Bucky got this last slap on his face. Bucky asked himself if he worth all of it. NO. No, Bucky, fuck you.

I find it funny (seriously I don't) that it's the same directors and screenwriters, who did Winter soldier and Civil war. How could they screw it up? One might say “Cuz there's TV-series Falcon and Winter soldier coming, it needs to be this way”.

A few little ideas for ending that wouldn't do any harm.

Behold!

1.  If they want Steve out of it, why don't kill him? Canonic, right?

1.1 In final battle Steve is dying. He tried to shield Bucky and dying on his arms. He can give the shield to Bucky, so his broken and lost friend could have purpose in life that helps him to move on. Or he can just die and Bucky takes the shield as something in memory of Steve. And then Bucky gives the shield to Sam, like saying “I've lost it all, I've lost my friend, but you're a good guy and maybe we can become friends sometime”. If it happened like this I could in time accept Sam as a new Cap and Bucky's friend.

1.2 Or perhaps Steve, still dying, gives the shield to Sam.

2. This one is not so good idea, but OK. Steve goes to the past, his a douche. But if you want a TV-series he can’t take Bucky with him. And it's still the same – Steve gives the shield, doesn't matter who would it be (pick anyone you like). But Steve can’t leave without saying goodbye.

Oh my god! It's two of it and we still got the TV show! Fascinating! And there is more of it.

3. Oh that's the good one. The one with the Steve we know and love. Steve stays. Steve goes to the past to return the infinity stones. Steve could allow himself just a moment to be selfish and have that dance with Peggy, or stay for not so long, a year maybe. And then he must go back, knowing that there are people who need him more, than Peggy. Of course if Steve is young, fit and tight, he won't retire. But Sam and Bucky are still with us, they're cool enough to have a TV-show.      

4. And what if like this? Shuri did the research to find a way to clear Bucky's head from the Hydra's code. What if she did? Or what if with Hydra's code some memories are gone too? Maybe Bucky could be an antagonist.

And just for me. We don't care about the money, and give Steve and Bucky the final they deserve.

1. Bucky and Steve dying fighting together. The most obvious and sad final. Till the end of the line

2. Bucky dies. It's tragic for Steve and he could say “I've lost it all”, and goes to Peggy. A little OOC, but not so bad.

3. What if we go back to that brain-cleaning option? Steve dies, but Bucky's so broken he can't stand it, and he goes to Shuri so she could wipe up his memory. Tragically and symbolically, cuz first time he was forced to forget Steve's alive, and now he does it voluntarily to forget Steve's dead.

I'm not a screenwriter, and my head's not crowded with ideas. But this is still better than what we've got in the Endgame. I could step on my own throat and accept the Endgame only if Bucky says that Steve is a traitor and he hates him. I'm not saying that Steve doesn't deserve this dance or happy ending. He does. Everybody Does. Everybody've suffered enough. But Steve doesn't deserve to become such an asshole. Bucky doesn't deserve to be forsaken in such a way. 

Honestly, I don't care about forced bromance with Sam, or Sharon, even love interest for Bucky (it would be kinda specific I guess). They could do anything, but they can't throw away Bucky and Steve. These characters are alive, their world is real. Sometimes happy ending is impossible. And if you force it, you can ruin everything. And this is what they actually did.

And it just bugs me – why, why did they do this? Maybe it's too much pressure and they screwed up. Or maybe it's Big studio' bosses. You know maybe if they just shut up about it.. time heals you know. But it gets worse. On the interview directors says one thing and screenwriters say the other, they all can't string sentense together. And only Bucky's face speaks for himself. I mean did you see this fresh Sebastian's panel at London comic-con? I’ll show you few moments, but you've got to watch the whole thing (https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=5&v=-KQpzG49exM). When he asks the audience did they like the movie, many people say “No!”, when he approves the final of Endgame one shout “Liar!”. Look at the body language. You'll see how he sincerely and emotionally talks about anything.  As soon as it comes to Endgame, he is immediately clamped, his leg begins to twitch.

The previous question was that he was interested in - what kind of heroes he wants to play. Therefore, he sits on the edge of the couch, leaning over to the public. The next question about the final and Steve going to Peggy. He immediately moves and leans back, he covers his belly with hand. The question is unpleasant to him.

Then the speech becomes confused, although before that it flowed freely, he literally gasps as if he doesn't know what to say, his micro-mimic denies his words.

He says he agrees with the final, Bucky is happy, Steve deserves it. But his body screams just the opposite - a sharp wave of his hand and chin say "no"

And this is the worst one. On the words “He (Bucky) was happy,” his whole pose just screams “NO!”. This insincere smile, this tilt of the head and a slight denying swaying. All this says more than any words

It's so obvious that he so tired of it. I bet that under the contract, he has no right to scold the movie and must promote the policy of the studio. But when he said that “Bucky was happy for Steve” .... This is the most forced smile I've ever seen. This is the most unconvincing lie in my memory. You can see just right through it, it's like an open book. But he has to do it, because crossing with the Big Studio Boss when your career just went uphill is not the best idea. The truth is important, but the dream is too. He started the career since the age of 15, which is quite long, considering this is not such a brilliant career, but he definitely worked so hard for it. So he caught between the hammer and an anvil now. On the one hand, acting career is the only thing for him, on the other hand studio bosses who can bury the dream, and on top of it the fans who are looking for his support. So "Steve is happy, Bucky is happy, awesome film, kill me, please!". By the way where is his best buddy Mackie? Why Seb's cleaning this mess all by himself? Seeing him like this just breaks my heart

And I honestly do not understand the people who liked it. How can you not see all this?? And there are those who claim that we didn’t like Endgame because we didn’t see any movies at all and didn’t read comic-books. There are Stucky fans who liked Endgame. Are the clichés so strong that people just don’t see all this... The story of Bucky and Steve was way too deep. Bucky is too tragic and well-developed character for a superhero comic-book story. All this deserved so much more. And the creators simply could not finish the job; mass cinema is simple and flat and it's made that way on purpose. They pull the most primitive triggers, so that people do not have to think. The most simple patterns help to reach more people. In other words, they are doing everything to raise more money. And it works. Thus we’ll get more of it in the future. No doubt about that.

For me, Endgame marked the victory of the corporate moneymaking machine over creativity. And the box office speaks for itself. It's an awful world to live in...

[dustofinsanity]

𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑒 & 𝐼𝑐𝑒

ㅤ

Hanbin / Reader ㅤㅤㅤ Mafia AU ㅤㅤㅤ Words count: 3.5k

Summary: A traitor in your new husband clan, that was you both need to see how much you meant to each other.

Content/Warning: Arranged marriage, violence, explicit content, torture, blood, romance.

It wasn't the life you wanted, it has never been and it would probably never be but, since your father gave you no choice, you had to say yes and live with a perfect stranger. At least, you still didn't live like common people. Pretty house with cute white fence, adorable family, a dog, golden fish and maybe two canaries? No thanks. You weren't made for this kind of life. You grew up surrounded by blood and violence, murders and betrayals and you couldn't deny that you loved it so much.

But now, they wanted you to be the perfect spouse for a man you had only known for three months. You were a killer, a cold and sadistic monster, not a fucking housewife!

You didn't want to get married, you wanted to stay single in your clan and become your father's number one assassin. You could have been but a pact was made between two big mafia families, yours and your new husband's. You hated this pact, you hated it so much but you also wanted to make your father proud. As the perfect daughter you were, you agreed to marry the first son of that rival house, Kim Hanbin.

Things could have worked out between you both if you hadn't been educated so differently. Your clan was created by your great-great-great-grandmother and women were as much important as men, doing the same bloody jobs and tasks. It wasn't the case in Hanbin's clan. Women stayed at home and took care of the kids, being perfect housewives. But, as said earlier, you weren't this kind of woman, not at all, and it created tension which sometimes resulted in arguments between the two of you.

For example, he told you once that you couldn't leave your apartment without, at least, two bodyguards, but it was just impossible for you. You replied back that you weren't a weak princess and you didn't need someone to take care of yourself. Hanbin got mad and yelled at you before punching the wall, leaving a big hole in it. As always, you stayed calm, expressionless and, without saying anything, bandaged his hand.

It was like this for three months and you knew it wouldn't change. You have an argument, Hanbin loses his temper while you stay calm, he hurts himself or leaves the house to go fight and you end up healing his wounds. Always the same scenario, once or twice a week for three months. You couldn't say you liked it, of course, you didn't, but it didn't bother you either. Saying you liked Hanbin would be false but he entertained you.

He was like fire and you were ice. Strange duo.

Adjusting the handle of your bag on your left shoulder, you slidded your keys in the door lock and noticed it was already open. You pushed it slightly and saw Hanbin, arms crossed over his chest, teeth clenched, a deadly hint in his deep black eyes.

"Where have you been?" He growled.

"Your men didn't tell you?" You replied back, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, it's true, I lost them in the shopping mall."

"What's wrong with you?! You can't go out like that!"

"Hanbin, I'm not a little girl, I can look after myself."

"Do you know what will happen if you get hurt or kidnapped?!"

"I'll die and you'll find another wife. But please, take care of my cat." You joked ironically as you tilted your head.

"I..." He started and froze, lowering his head and sighing. "Forget it." He pushed you and, grabbing his leather jacket, left your apartment, slamming the door behind him.

You didn't try to hold him and only shrugged when you found yourself alone, used to this kind of situation. You took off your boots, walked to the living room where you put your bag on the couch and went to to bathroom, bringing the first aid kit in the kitchen.

You knew Hanbin would be back in a few hours with new bruises on his face and hands. Even if it was never really bad, you couldn't let him like that.

Sitting on the couch, your black persian Slayer on your lap, you were watching another horror movie when your heard the front door open. Putting your pet on the floor, you stood up and took the kit on the kitchen table without saying a word or looking at your husband. You sat back on the sofa and patted it, inviting Hanbin to sit next to you.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked, raising his hands up while your were taking the bandages and disinfectants out of the box. "I can do it."

"I don't mind." You answered calmly, grabbing his hands carefully. "I can at least do that as your wife."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. Again."

"Don't be sorry, I'm used to it. You do your duty as a husband, I can understand. But I don't want to be protected, I can take care of myself."

"Y/n, my enemies are yours now and ,trust me, my family has a lot of enemies. They could come after you to get to me."

His voice was soft, almost sad, and Hanbin looked at you with a sweet gaze while you were healing his wounds on his phalanges. He didn't want you to get hurt because of him. He didn't fear your father, he just wanted you to be safe.

He was a proud man and, during all his life, he saw feelings as a weakness, a weakness that had emerged in him since he started living with you. Not immediately but, week after week, he saw all the little things you did, even if you still didn't want to listen to him most of the time. He saw how sweet you could be even if you were known to be one of the most sadistic assassins in Seoul. He saw how cute you could be when you saw babies pictures or when you played with your cat, even if you always looked at him with cold eyes. He saw how much your personality completed his.

You raised your head to heal the bruises on his face when you noticed the way he was looking at you. Swallowing, you gently put ointment on his wounds with your fingertips and tried to avoid his eyes.

"Don't worry about it. If they come after me, I'll just shoot them." You said coldly, catching him a little off guard. "Don't forget who I am, Hanbin."

"You're my wife. I have to protect you."

"Can you put aside your husband duty for a minute? It's getting annoying."

You closed the first aid kit and stood up, letting your husband know you have cooked dinner and have left it in the oven. You bowed politely in front of him and walked to your room, teeth clenched.

You knew Hanbin didn't want to upset you when he asked you to let his men protect you, he was just doing his husband duties, but you had your pride and being protected meant you were a weak girl. You couldn't accept that. You were the daughter of one of the most dangerous mafia bosses of South Korea, not a little girl who would cry if she scratched her knee.

After you changed, you crawled in your bed and turned the bedside lamp off, trying to calm yourself with some breathing exercices. It started to work when the door opened and you saw Hanbin's shape from the corner of your eyes. Usually, you both didn't sleep together but, every time you had a fight, your husband sneaked into your room and came to lie down next to you. When you asked him why he did that, he just answered that he didn't want to let you sleep alone when you were angry. You couldn't deny it, you found this attention really sweet even if you never cuddled him or anything else.

But this night was different.

Like you always did, you turned your back at him and were about to fall asleep when you felt his arm slide under your head while he wrapped his over arm around your waist and pulled you against him. Breathless, eyes wide open, you didn't move or say anything but couldn't hold a sigh when he started to put light kisses on your shoulder, rising to your neck.

"You talked about my annoying husband duty, right?" He whispered in your ear, grinning when you nodded silently. "Let me show you a more pleasing one..."

Things didn't change between Hanbin and you since your first "real night" as a married couple, almost a month ago. You both still fought often and slept together sometimes but this night was the only one you had sex and, you couldn't deny it, it was better than you imagined. Hanbin was rough and sweet at the same time, punishing you as much as he wanted to show you how much of a good lover and husband he could be with you.

Even if he did it just once.

You were thinking about it when you heard someone knock on your door. It was probably your meeting of the morning. You made a deal with Dabin: You could be in charge of the female assassins in your clan but couldn't leave your apartment alone. Then, you agreed to have a bodyguard, only one, Jaehyun, your brother-in-law. When Hanbin asked why him, you answered that you found him cute even if it wasn't totally true.

You stood up from the couch and, adjusting your blood red satin shirt, you reached the front door and opened to your guest, without looking through the peephole.

"Jaehyun? What are you..." You started to ask, frowning, when you saw the gun in his hand. "Here we are."

"You knew, right?" He grinned.

"You're not that discreet."

"Come with me and I won't kill you."

"Can I-"

"No, you can't." Jaehyun cut you off. "I know you, Y/n, and I know what you're capable of."

Chuckling lightly, you lowered your head and left your apartment, Jaehyun's gun planted in your lower back. When you met some of Hanbin's men, you told them you were going for a walk with your bodyguard and, since they knew Jaehyun, they didn't ask anything. You walked for almost ten minutes when your kidnapper forced you to get into a black van where three other men were waiting for you.

"I guess you're not the pizza men." You teased with a disdainful smirk.

At this moment, Jaehyun hit the back of your head with the handle of his gun and everything became black as you fainted in the van.

"As I told you, take-" You started to say when someone punched you in the face. "Take care of-" Another punch. "of Slayer. He only eats-" Another one. "Premium kibbles."

"You bitch!" Jaehyun shouted at you, slapping your face violently before turning to the camera. "Listen to me, Hanbin! If you want her back alive, send 65 billion wons to this account tomorrow." He showed a sign with numbers written on it. "If you don't, she will come back to you in pieces."

The video cut abruptly and Hanbin threw the phone your kidnappers left in the mailbox against the wall. His hands were shaking and sweat was rolling down his temples while he ran his fingers through his black hair. He knew there was a traitor in his clan and he wanted to expose him in front of everyone but he would have never imagined the traitor could be Jaehyun, his trustful right-hand man, his own little brother.

"How..." He started to say in a low voice. "How... How did this happen?!" He shouted, standing up suddenly, throwing everything that was on the coffee table away. "I want everyone on this!"

"We tracked the black van through the licence plate but they dumped it five miles away." One of Hanbin's men said.

"Are you telling me we don't know where my wife is?! Talk with all your snitches and call me if you get any information on Y/n! If I don't get back her before midnight, I swear to God I'll kill you all!"

He took his leather jacket and left the apartment, followed by five of his men while the others ran away, doing what their boss told them to do. They knew Hanbin meant it when he said he would kill everyone if he didn't take you back. He would dig up the whole world to get you back.

Meanwhile, in an old abandonned warehouse, Jaehyun was talking with his accomplices, saying he knew his brother would do everything he could to find you. He turned to you when you chuckled at what he said.

"Do you find this funny?" He asked you, grabbbing your chin with his hand, looking straight into your eyes.

"You don't know your brother." You grinned, spitting blood on the floor. "Do you really think he will come after me? At this moment, he's probably drinking champagne with his men."

Jaehyun tried not to laugh but ended laughing out loud, saying you were a fool if you thought his brother didn't care about you.

"You're so stupid, Y/n." He smirked. "You don't know him as I do. I know his biggest weakness and, surprise! She's bleeding in front of me. I heard him talking about you and if only you could know what he thinks about you, how much he cares about you. But, that's sad, you'll never know." He leaned over you, a sadistic look on his face. "You're gonna die, Y/n. And I promise you, my dear, you'll suffer like you never did."

You gave him a dangerous gaze, the kind of look that frightened all your enemies and spat blood on his face.

"If you hurt my husband-" You started to growl when Jaehyun punched you once again.

Blackout.

When you opened your eyes, you found yourself alone in a narrow space, muzzled and handcuffed to an old pipe. You tried to pull on the handcuffs, hoping the pipe would break, but quickly understood you weren't strong enough. You looked all around you and frowned, trying to find something that could help you but felt the danger was worse than what you thought. You turned your head and noticed the smoke that filtered under the metal door.

"Jaehyun, you bastard!" You thought, immediately realising that Jaehyun set the warehouse on fire.

You pulled again on your handcuffs but hurt yourself more than anything else when you heard some voices coming from outside the building. You didn't even try to scream, knowing they couldn't hear you. You rolled your eyes and sighed, focusing back on the pipe, when one of the voices made you open wide your eyes.

"Find Y/n! We won't leave without her!"

An explosion made the warehouse shake a little and you heard a lot of voices while the smoke started to fill the place you were in.

"If you die here, you won't see Slayer again!" You thought to give yourself courage and strength but it didn't work and you started coughing.

Time was running out and the place was almost full of smoke. You could hear people leaving the building, calling for their boss to get out but your husband didn't want to leave without you. And that's when a thought, a painful and unbearable thought, came to your mind. If you'd die here, you couldn't see your cat anymore, yes, but you couldn't see Hanbin too. It wasn't even possible.

You looked at your hands and, remembering what your father told you one time, you pulled again on the handcuffs. If the fasteners or the pipe won't break, your bones could. You growled and winced as the metal started to cut your skin but didn't give up. You didn't have to hurt both of your hands, just one would be enough. Blood flowed along your wrist and fell on the floor, the pain was unsustainable and you wanted to scream but stayed focused on what you were doing, pulling stronger and stronger on your injured wrist.

Suddenly, you heard a horrible but somehow relieving sound and pulled your broken hand out of the handcuff. With your valid one, you removed the tape from your mouth and tore your satin shirt, wrapping it around your bloody member. Running to the door, you noticed Jaehyun didn't lock it.

"Stupid bastard." You grinned while you opened the door and ran away.

Because of the smoke, it was hard to see where you were going and you had to avoid the flames and debris which fell from the celling. Moreover, the fact you were losing blood didn't help you at all and your head started to spin.

But, not knowing how, you reached the ground floor and saw Hanbin crouched down in the middle of the big area, surrounded by fire, rubbing his hand on his face angrily.

"Hanbin..." You breathed before coughing. "Hanbin!"

He raised his head quickly and looked straight into your direction, opening his eyes wide before running to you.

"Y/n!" He sighed, pulling you into a strong embrace. "Come here!" He picked you up in his arms and, avoiding the flames and burning debris, ran away, your head buried into his neck, arms wrapped around his shoulders.

Blackout again.

A light kiss on your forehead woke you up and, slowly opening your eyes, you saw Hanbin moving a little away. A smile stretched your lips as you whispered a little "Hi". He greeted you back and caressed your cheek gently, asking how you felt. You hardly told him your throat was hurting and looked at your bandaged wrist and hand. Still stroking your head tenderly, your husband explained that you lost a lot of blood and he was waiting for more information about your state.

"You could've died there." You whispered, remembering when you saw him in the warehouse.

"And I would if I hadn't found you."

"I found you, jackass." You chuckled before coughing.

"We will talk about it later." He smiled, kissing your forehead.

"Why did you stay?"

"I told you, Y/n, you're my wife. I'll do anything for you."

You felt a tear rolling down your cheek and, for the first time, you didn't feel ashamed to cry in front of someone. Hanbin wiped it away with his thumb and put his forehead against yours, whispering he loved you.

"I love y-" You started to reply when the door of your chamber opened and a doctor came in, apologizing for disturbing you.

"It's okay." Your husband told him after smiling at you. "How is she?"

"For someone who almost died few hours ago, surprisingly good. You breathed a lot of smoke and we had to put you on an IV since you also lost a lot of blood because of your wound." He checked your file and, smiling, he added. "Oh and no need to worry, the baby is good too."

"The baby?!" Hanbin and you shouted, eyes wide open.

"You didn't know?" The doctor asked. "You're almost 1-month pregnant."

You turned your face at your husband, confused, when you suddenly thought about that night. Chuckling a little, Hanbin smirked as he raised an eyebrow and put his hand carefully on your baby bump. He asked the doctor when he could bring you back home and the answer made you both smile. You could leave the hospital the same day but had to stay in bed for few days and get an IV every day for three days. He greeted you and left the room, congratulating both of you about the baby.

"Hi, little you." Hanbin whispered against your tummy, kissing it lightly.

"Where's Jaehyun?" You asked, worry about the fact he could come after you again or, worse, your baby.

"This bastard won't hurt anyone anymore." Your husband growled, still focused on your tummy.

"Did you..."

"He touched you, Y/n, he had to die." He raised his head and cupped your face in his hand, kissing you like he never did before. "I'd kill everyone for you."

"Leave me some toys, you selfish." You smirked in a cold voice. "I want to play too."

"You're a monster, Y/n." Hanbin chuckled, proud of how strong and ruthless his wife was with your enemies. "Well, now we know we will be three soon... Will you listen to me and let me protect you?"

"In your dreams."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ⁓•⁓ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ Thank you for reading! 💜 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ⁓•⁓

Thank you to my lovely kitten @hotjohnnymod who corrected it. 💜

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Valentine’s Day Looks For Lonely Old Maids Wishing To Be Courted!

HEY guys! So I was gonna do a ~vlog~ type deal here but I unexpectedly lost my voice, which was probably God telling me not to do this, but I chose to ignore that message. Anyway, Valentine‘s Day is creeping up on us like it does every year, and seems like every day I see another new VDay Date night makeup tutorial put out into the world by the lovely beauty vloggers. But it got me thinking- what about people who are single on Valentine’s Day? All the guys, gals and people in between who were unable to score a date? Plenty of people go out of their way to try and feel nice on Valentine’s Day, right? Right. Do those people not deserve their own tutorial? So, I present to you: Looks for a Valentine’s Day All Alone.

Now, I don’t normally wear makeup, actually, because, well- I trust we’re all familiar with the term ‘putting lipstick on a big’? I happen to bring new, exciting, and literal definitions to that phrase. But if I go to a party or a holiday shindig I’ll put a little on, and Valentine’s Day is no different. I want the illusion of feeling nice, you know? Even though makeup isn’t an everyday thing for me, I haven’t felt the love of another human person in over two decades, so I really think I’m the best person to walk you through the looks today. I’m a pro at lonely Valentine’s Days. So, here’s how we started:

Average, but workable. I made sure to pull my hair out of my face. Now, I’m gonna go step-by-step here for the looks achieved, so feel free to follow along!

All the VDay makeup styles I’ve seen so far have been eye-popping and phenom and all, but that’s not the look we’re going for today. We’re single old maids, remember? We need subtly on our side to draw someone in, because they won’t be expecting it. A sweet, subdued look that subconsciously screams ‘please marry me immediately and support me financially as I write the Next Great American Novel’. That’s what we’re going for today. Now, most people start off with foundation, so apply that now if you want- I personally opted out on account of my foundation is three (3) shades darker than my actual skin, because I don’t go into the sun and therefore have an unhealthy complexion they can’t match in stores, and also because I only use it in stage shows so I don’t appear faceless. So, anyway, I started out with the eye shadow:

I went for that nice light pink and the sparkly brown next to it to create my Look. They worked quite nicely together, and the sparkle didn’t overpower the ‘marriage-material-girl-next-store’ vibes. After I applied it all I tried to take pictures to show it off, but the lighting in my house was against us. But I promise it was cute, and I’m sure whichever colors you’ve selected for yourself look cute as well! I also just used some of the eyeshadow to add to my brows- I don’t like, ever bother with them because in all honesty I don’t usually need to, but they haven’t been touched up in a bit so I figured what the hell. Anyway, let’s move onto mascara!

I had two options to pick from- a volume-specific mascara or the bare minerals. I’ve heard great things about the bare minerals brand, but a couple years ago I had said something to the effect of ‘I don’t see the point in glue on eyelashes, that would make me so nervous’ and my friend Annika immediately said ‘Molly, do you even have eyelashes?!?! You should love those things!’ and sometimes I still think about that if I’m having a bad day, so I opted for the bigger volume kind.

Make sure to be CAREFUL when applying! I’ll never forget 8th grade graduation when my friend let her mom do her makeup and she got straight up stabbed by the mascara wand. Her eye was completely red for the whole ceremony and reception. You don’t need that alone on Valentine’s Day, honeys. 

Now, this is the part where most people apply winged eyeliner, and I literally love that style to the ends of the earth, but one time a makeup artist took my face in her hands and begged me to never touch eyeliner because my eyes are apparently too damn small for it to look good, so I just don’t have it. Absolutely add it to your look if you want, though! I can’t imagine it would take away from the sweet simplicity too much. Onto lipstick!

I had three super cute shades to pick from- the one on the left, I adore, but I felt it was too strong a shade for our Simple Look. The pink was lovely, shy but popping, the perfect Valentine’s Day color! But when I wear it, I’m forced to physically confront my fears that I’m slowly turning into my mother and am cursed to live out her life, and I figured we already have enough issues to deal with being alone and unloved on Valentine’s Day, why bother to throw that one in too, you know? But the red on the right? Perfect! It’s a great, fun shade by a brand I’ve literally never heard of before, but the shade is nice on me, There might be a little glitter in there, but ignore that, because it’s not actually part of the lipstick, there was just an incident on the floor of a train station bathroom on New Years Eve and we’re still dealing with the repercussions. Don’t worry about it! Just pick a nice VDay shade that’ll draw the attention of your dinner delivery person!

The application has to be precise, kids, because cleaning it up and wiping it off can be a real female dog. We don’t need any more stress than we already have, being alone and unloved on Valentine’s Day.

And look at that! That’s not the face of a girl who’s doomed to become her mother! That’s the face of a girl who’s going to sit on her couch watching MTV’s Catfish while telling herself she’s gonna marry a doctor someday. You know, when I was a kid my mother was always so quick to lay on the praise, to assure me that I’d be rich and successful and happy as an adult. These days, she’s all about me finding a rich husband. All the time, it’s ‘we need to get you a rich husband so you can be taken care of and have a lot of babies!’ And like, would I mind if that’s how the future played out? No, absolutely not, it’d be great. But like….what happened? When did she loose her faith in me? What made her give up? If I can’t be trusted to make a name for myself, how can I be trusted to find the Rich Husband I deserve? I look like a twelve year old, do you know how hard it is to get men to seriously flirt with you when you’ve got my face? Sometimes girls will flirt with me, but before I can a chance to even decide if I’m into it or not my mom appears from the shadows, apparently doesn’t read any of the Vibes going on, and effectively kills the moment. She’s a total cockblocker considering how much she wants grandchildren. And even she’s not giving me a pity Valentine’s Day card this year…

So anyway! This is the Fun part of the night alone! You look cute, you’ll probably goof around and take some selfies, selfies you think in the moment are gorgeous and not even like you and the pinnacle of human beauty, post them online to make it look like you have a life but then you’ll delete them tomorrow when you realize they got no likes. Here’s what they may look like for you:

But….we’ve reached That part of Valentine’s Day Single

You start to grow disillusioned with everything. Why were you even bothering with this? You aren’t going to get a rich spouse, you aren’t even going to get laid. All you’re going to get is a pity smile from the Chinese Food Delivery Guy when he drops off General Tso Chicken for one. Screw this, right? You head to the kitchen 

Make sure you grab the PINK wine, because it’s still festive and you’re desperately hoping to feel any sort of enjoyment out of the holiday still!

You’ll chug for as long as you can. Make sure to be careful, though! Don’t want to mess up your lipstick!

This brand I’m using is dead awful, by the way- the label implies it’s made by reindeer pissing into a bottle, and I’m pretty sure that’s an apt way to describe the taste. But it’s pink and festive!!! And besides, the good red wine is GIVEN to people who DESERVE it. It’s saved for dates and sex and romance and relaxation. Why waste it on some nobody who’s gonna waste away alone? Keep the bottle with you.

Time to shift into our second look for the night!!!

So we’re gonna come back to the eyeshadow pallet- see the brown and black at the end? We’re gonna use them to represent all the chocolate we’re going to be eating! Spread it around your mouth and lips as unevenly as you can- we’re really pigging out tonight. 

Look in the mirror. Look at what you’ve done. Feel the self disgust churning in your stomach with the wine and chocolate. You promised yourself today was gonna be a nice day, a Treat Yo Self day, a day filled with self care and self love. Pitiful. How can you ever love yourself if a rich man never will?

So now we’re gonna bust out my absolute FAVORITE product, this lovely blue nail polish:

I know with other products for our looks so far I’ve been liberal, insisting you choose colors that work for you- but I really must insist you get blue nail polish for this part. Because obviously after the chocolate and wine binge we’re going to start crying! Valentine’s Day, all alone, never experiencing love in your life so far? What’s there to even be happy about! But crying is like…such hard work, you know? You get headaches, your eyes puff and redden, you make obnoxious noises that make the old lady in the apartment next to yours bang her cane on the wall to get you to shut up. Who wants to deal with that, right? So we’re going to get a little ingenuitive and use this to represent our tears!

Draw on as many as you please, just be careful not to get any in your eyes! Then we’ll have real tears, huh? Wouldn’t that be wild…it would give off the illusion of feeling something even though now there’s just a burning emptiness inside you. You’re still crying, but you feel numb more than anything else.

Now, of course- crying is going to smudge your eye makeup. I brought out my second mascara, the bare minerals, to achieve the look:

Scratchy! 

What else would crying cause? Oh, right, it’d completely wash off all your cover-up and broadcast your damn acne to the world! Use some lipstick to achieve! 

And now, I mean, what’s the fucking point in pretending anymore, right? It’s all fucking useless. Did we actually think we were gonna find someone ON Valentine’s Day? Did we think someone we knew was just gonna confess their love for us today? Of course not! They all know us! We can dream and pray for love all we want but we know the truth, so what’s the point in hiding? Grab that bright pink mom fear lipstick and write ‘UNLOVABLE’ right on your forehead and tell the world. Tell the world. 

At this point I had planned to make a dunce cap that read ‘STUPID SENTIMENTAL BITCH’ but I discovered that my head is too Goddamn big for any material in this house that could be turned into a hat. Because of course it is. Because I have to discover another flaw in the middle of this breakdown. So let’s just stop pretending, huh? Just go ahead and give yourself a nice big clown nose.

You played yourself for a fool. Fucking disgrace. Fucking clown. When the fuck is my chicken getting here. 

It’s at this point you’re going to start blasting P!NK music as you force yourself to hold eye contact with your reflection. Maybe the night will turn around, Maybe I can still be happy- No. That’s not going to happen. That’s not going to happen ever. We’re all going to die the fuck alone. Look at what you’ve become:

Who could ever love this?!?!?! But guys, don’t worry, the looks almost complete! Just gather an array of junk food and alcohol and hop right on into your bathtub!

This is where you’re going to stay for the next 72 hours! Doesn’t that sound fun?! You’re gonna mope and eat too much and fantasize about celebrities or fictional characters falling in love with you and cry some more. While all your friends and family are out on romantic, sweet, Valentine’s Day dates with their beloved, you’re gonna be in a dark bathtub eating fried rice and reading fanfiction on your phone. Nice!

You try to salvage the night one more time by taking a great cleavage pic(or dic pic if thats what you're working with)-

What a #Look! But it doesn’t work. This is how Valentine’s Day will always go. Time to finish the look completely by turning the shower on and just standing under it with all your clothes still on

At least the water will touch your body without any complaints. 

So yeah, guys, that’s it for my Lonely Valentine’s Day makeup tutorial! Hope you guys enjoyed, hope something spoke to you, hope you found yourself inspired! Let me know how the looks turned out for you!!!! Happy Valentine’s Day guys!!!! Love you all!!!!!!

[easyobsession]

dwts25 cast announcement (aka lo is STILL recapping this crap?)

Jesus lord help us all, the shit storm covered in glitter is back for its 25th season and while I’m highly doubtful I’ll post weekly because I’m still upset over last season and pretty fed up with a certain pro at the moment, I’m feeling generous and somewhat indebted to tradition to at least do a post on the cast reveal.

Wow, that was a long ass sentence.

 *A quick sidenote before we start- you guys, I actually know who all except 4 of these people are!! This might be a record. Good on you, ABC.

The Guys

DEREK FISHER with pro partner SHARNA BURGESS

Speaking of people I don’t know… He’s an athlete, what do you expect? He used to be a basketball player, right? Does he still play? Was he any good? They got Kobe Bryant to send a message, but is that because of Derek or just ABC’s connections? I have no clue. Instant judgment says he won’t be great.

DREW SCOTT with pro partner EMMA SLATER

Who doesn’t love the Property Brothers? When I first heard about Drew as a possible contestant, I wasn’t shocked. He and his brother seem pretty easygoing and willing try almost anything- and out of the two I think Drew is a little less likely to worry about the stereotypical possibility of looking “less masculine.”  I think Drew could be good- he’s insanely tall, which might work against him, but he seems really excited and I bet he works hard. I’m excited about him.

FRANKIE MUNIZ with pro partner WITNEY CARSON

Loved Malcolm in the Middle. And Agent Cody Banks, with Hillary Duff? AND BIG FAT LIAR, WITH AMANDA BYNES BEFORE SHE LOST HER MIND? And that Disney Channel movie (back when they were DCOMs) where he was in a kid in a wheelchair that raced in a soapbox derby? God, what a throwback. Apparently since then he’s gotten pretty into racing for real, however I don’t see us having another James Hinchcliff on our hands. Even in the 2 second intro they did on GMA he looked stiff and awkward. I don’t see this lasting long at all. Shame.

JORDAN FISHER with pro partner LINDSAY ARNOLD

Forget Hamilton, this boy is from the Disney Channel! Liv and Maddie, anyone? TEEN BEACH MOVIE? It’s Seacat, y’all! He’s gonna kill it and it’s gonna be so fun to watch. I think he and Lindsay (who shall from this moment on be known this season as LindsAY, not to be confused with fellow contestant LindsEY) will be a great team with a lot of energy. He won’t win though, due to the Disney Channel curse. In true Disney star tradition though, he will likely get second place. (Somewhere in the distance Kyle Massey, Zendaya, and Corbin Bleu are having a Disney Kid/DWTS Runners Up club meeting. Meanwhile Sabrina Bryan is nearby plotting to burn down ABC headquarters.)

NICK LACHEY with pro partner PETA MURGATROYD

First One Tree Hill, now this. The man is out to conquer the world. I don’t think he’ll be as good as Drew (his brother, not the other contestant this season) and I almost think his wife will outdo him by just a hair. That said, I don’t see him being awful. Along the lines of boyband members, I can see him maybe a little behind the others like Nick Carter and Lance Bass, and probably not nearly as good as Wanya Morris or Joey Fatone. I think Nick will start off okay and slowly work his way up, but I don’t think it’ll be a fast or easy process. But as long as he and Vanessa don’t bitch and moan about their spouses like Carlos and Alexa PenaVega did, I’ll be happy.

TERRELL OWENS with pro partner CHERYL BURKE

It’s Terrell like Cheryl, not Tuh-rell. He is (was?) in the NFL. That sums up my knowledge of this man. I assume he was (is?) pretty good from the way people talk about him? He looks pretty graceful and I doubt they’d give Cheryl anyone too shitty since it’s such a big deal she’s back. I don’t know. The only football knowledge I have is from Friday Night Lights. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t fuck it up in the ballroom.  

The Girls

BARBARA CORCORAN with pro partner KEO MOTSEPE

I actually have watched quite a bit of Shark Tank since Robert Herjavec’s season, so I know Barbara! She’s 68, so good for her, though since she’s with Keo we know she won’t last long. Though I doubt she’ll be much good, I know Barbara is very spunky and look forward to seeing her.

DEBBIE GIBSON with pro partner ALAN BERSTEN

One of the 4 I don’t know. Apparently she had a hit in the 80s that I’ve never heard of and she’s currently battling Lyme disease, which I also know nothing about. But after a quick trip to the trusty Mayo Clinc’s website, I learned that Lyme disease is basically a bacterial disease transmitted by deer tick bites (check yourself, kids!), with symptoms that can include a rash, flu-like symptoms, joint pains, and neurological problems. So Debbie has a lot going on. All of that said, I can see her being a bit like one of the higher-skilled housewives when it comes to skill- not epic, but not too bad.

LINDSEY STERLING with pro partner MARK BALLAS

I think I’m rooting for her to win. Of course we’ve all seen her- she’s performed on the show multiple times (Maks and Meryl, week 3 Foxtrot. Look it up.), She’s cute as button and apparently she and Mark have known each other for a while. I’m excited. I think she’ll do well. It’s gonna be weird seeing her dance with a person though instead of her violin.

NIKKI BELLA with pro partner ARTEM CHIGVINTSEV

I’m a WWE girl, so I know Nikki. Since the proposal at Wrestlemania in April she’s taken time off from wrestling, but she’s still around starring on the WWE reality show Total Divas as well as the spinoff Total Bellas, starring her and her twin sister Brie. Whether or not she’ll be any good is a huge question mark, because while being in amazing physical shape, obviously wrestling has a little less finesse than dancing. Fellow WWE superstar Chris Jericho competed in season 12 with Cheryl and came in 6th (he wasn’t great, and he’ll gladly tell you that himself), however I think Nikki being a woman gives her an advantage over the male wrestlers. The guys in WWE don’t have to worry about being sexy (though some are- Seth Rollins, call me) but the girls, while times have progressed and are now seen as equals in terms of talent, do have to be a little more graceful, so to speak. All of this being said, I’m not sure how well she’ll do. But I’m excited to find out.

SASHA PIETERSE with pro partner GLEB SAVCHENKO

I didn’t watch Pretty Little Liars, but I know who she is. Another one too cute for words. I hope she does well.

VANESSA LACHEY with pro partner MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY

I don’t really know what Vanessa has done aside from being a wife/mom and a TRL VJ back in the day. But she looks like she can shake her booty and I think she’ll do well with Maks. I can see them being a lot of fun. I also think she and Nick seem less timid than Carlos and Alexa, and I’m crossing my fingers that they understand the concept of the show is to win with your partner, not cry about how much you wish could be dancing with your husband instead (because that’s NOT HOW IT WORKS, ALEXA). So I’m pumped. I also hope the troupe is prepared to open the DWTS daycare for all of these children that will need watching while the mommies and daddies go to work.

VICTORIA ARLEN with pro partner VAL CHMERKOVSKIY

The final cast member I do not know. I looked up her story though, and I can see why Val has been so pumped about her. She seems AMAZING. For those of you also in the dark, here’s some info I’m copying from the internet:

“At the age of 11, Victoria developed two rare conditions and lost the ability to speak, eat, walk and move. She slipped into a vegetative state in which recovery was unlikely. She spent nearly 4 years "locked" inside her own body, completely aware of what was going on, just unable to move or communicate. Doctors believed there was little hope of survival and recovery was unlikely. In 2010, Victoria began the nearly impossible fight back to life. She learned how to speak, eat, and move all over again. She competed in the 2012 Summer Paralympics held in London as a member of Team USA and she won four medals: one gold and three silver. In April 2015, she made the transition from professional athlete to sportscaster and joined ESPN as one of the youngest on air talents hired by the company. In April of 2016, she defied yet another odd and learned to walk after spending nearly a decade paralyzed from the waist down.”

And she’s TWENTY-TWO, Y’ALL. Let’s all take a quick moment to examine our lives- WE’RE ALL FAILURES. LOOK AT THIS GIRL. SHE’S A REAL LIFE SUPERHERO. Also one of the ones I’m excited to see and rooting for (despite some shit I won’t get into. Check my twitter. It’s there somewhere).

The Troupe and Pro Decisions

TIME TO POP BOTTLES, Y’ALL. YOU KNOWN DAMN WELL WHY I’M CELEBRATING. However I’m also hesitantly holding back bc until the first episode airs and a little blonde man doesn’t magically come out dancing with his celebrity partner along the lines of Michelle Obama, Ellen DeGeneres, Christ himself, I won’t be 100% convinced we’ll get such a huge season without God’s Gift To Movement. (#SQUEREK- MY VALDAYA FAM CAN ENJOY THAT THROWBACK. YOU’RE WELCOME.)

On a completely different topic, Mark is back. Woot! With his creativity and LindsEY’s talent with a violin, I’m super pumped to see what he comes up with.

Also Alan has been upgraded to a pro. Yay Alan!

I’m sad Sasha isn’t a pro this season because we all love him and he’s done so great with his past partners, but I think a large part of him being a pro depends on if they can find someone that balances will with his height. So I’m sad, but happy he’ll be around at least on troupe.

On  a similar note though, who cares about height? Sasha is clearly a great teacher. Keo, however, though I’ve got mad love for the man, has proven time and time again that he needs some time on troupe to work on his teaching skills. I realize Barbara won’t ever be the next Laurie Hernandez, but regardless. I’m not happy they moved him up.

I’m also sad that a few favorites won’t be around like Karina and Tony. (dude, Karina went from this to attempting to date Chad from Jojo’s season of the Bachelorette on that new E! show. What the hell happened to our girl?)

The Judges

As far as I know they’re the same. Yippee -.- but guess what I’m pissed about y’all! SHIRLEY BALLAS IS JOINING THE JUDGING PANEL OF STRICTLY COME DANCING. WHICH IS NOT DWTS. WHY DO THEY GET HER AND WE’RE STUCK WITH CARRIE ANN AND JULES? What sick form of bullshit is this? I’ve said before I want both of Mark’s parents on the panel, plus Anna Trebunskaya (who just had a baby boy- CONGRATULATIONS ANNA!!!) and if Maks is competing and can’t judge, then Bruno, because I love his insanity and inappropriate innuendos. So damn you, Strictly!!

Predictions (in no specific order)

EARLY EXIT/THE BILLY RAY SCHOOL OF DANCE: Barb, Derek, Frankie

MIDDLE OF THE ROAD/BE GLAD YOU DON’T HAVE TO LEARN 46 NUMBERS FOR THE FINALE: Nikki, Terrell, Nick, Sasha, Debbie

GOING ALL THE WAY/STILL FINDING GLITTER IN YOUR DRAIN 6 MONTHS LATER: Jordan, LindsEY, Vanessa maybe, Victoria, Drew

For the final 3? As of lately I’m questioning damn near everything in my life, but I’ll give it a shot. Final 3 LindsEY, Jordan, Victoria. I’d normally guess Jordan for second, but with these girls I’ll guess Jordan 3rd and…. gah, this is hard. I want to say LindsEY will win, but I almost think Victoria will get it. I have a feeling this will flip-flop a lot. Okay, final guess pre-premiere is Jordan 3rd, LindsEY 2nd, and Victoria wins. But I���m not 100%.

Whew. Thank god I’m finally done writing this. If you actually read the whole thing, god love ya.

I’m still on social media @lauthom93 and love a good discussion, debate, or argument- not just about DWTS but anything at all, so hit me up there or right here on tumblr.

Back to my regularly scheduled madness. You know I’m sending love and gestures kids shouldn’t mimic.

Lo.

[just-another-busy-fangirl-writes]

Laura’s Reading List: Jensen x Jared

Let me know if you have any other fic recs for me to read & put on this list!

[awesome list]

{another list}

Out of the Darkness by aelia (on LJ) ***Comp   Towards the end of Supernatural, Jared and Jensen are slowly drifting apart until there is nothing of their friendship left and they literally go separate ways. When they coincidentally meet eight years later, Jared finds his former best friend not only pysically changed but also mentally hurt. Can Jared and Jensen find each other again? And can Jared help Jensen to leave behind the darkness that has been encasing him ever since that accident has changed his life?

Got me so blind I can’t see by @ashtray-thief, NC17, 20k ***Comp   Jensen has loved Jared ever since he came to court. But Jared is the king’s half-brother and Jensen is just a commoner. There’s nothing Jensen can do but focus on his career in the military and bury his feelings. But when the king sends him to protect Jared on a diplomatic mission and Count Amell pursues Jared with intent, Jensen can’t hide his feelings any longer.

The President’s Man by dont_hate_me01 (on AO3) ***Comp   When Jared’s father died ten years ago, Jared became involved with drugs and bad friends. Luckily, he had more than one person in his corner who looked out for him. Things started to look up, but the past became the present and left Jared in more danger than what he thought possible.

It Never Gets Easier by fatebegins (on AO3) ***Comp   Jared’s not so happily married. He married Jensen young, and had kids before he was ready. Before Jared knows it his life isn’t his own. Pushing down his own feelings, Jared makes a mistake that will change his life forever- maybe for the better.

Claret and Clarity, by firesign10, 3k and 15k, NC17 ***Comp   Jensen is a vampire who hasn’t been hungry in a very long time. Danni brings a very special treat to tempt him.

The Love that Remains by lulyls (on AO3) ***Comp   It’s a story about loss. About an 11 year old boy who falls in love with a boy with blue hair at a summer camp. This is a story about how both boys part ways too soon, but change each other’s lives forever. This is a story about dreams. About how, years later, a guy meets a homeless man, is drawn to him in a way he can’t explain, and feels an inexplicable need to help him. A story about how the heart knows, even when the eyes don’t. This is a story about destiny. There’s a boy named Jared and there’s another named Jensen, and this is their story. How they lost and found each other, and how they must battle their inner demons, have faith in themselves and in one another. This is the story about two boys fighting to finally have the happy ending they’ve been dreaming about their entire lives, and to find their own definition of happiness. It’s a story about love.

Screw You, We’re From Texas by makeit_takeit (on LJ) *** Comp   Everyone knows the story - Jensen had plans to enroll at Texas Tech and become a Physical Therapist, Jared was heading for the University of Texas to become an Engineer. Instead, they both got against-all-odds breaks in Hollywood and ended up on a totally different path. This is the story of what could have happened if fate twisted differently, if they never got those big Hollywood breaks, and instead ended up living the lives they grew up expecting to lead.

Faint Stars and Bright Satellite Skies by marishna (on LJ) ***Comp   It’s a story made for Hollywood- a chance encounter between a regular, down-to-earth guy with his whole life planned out for him without a second thought and a well-known, popular movie star turns into something far bigger than either man could ever anticipate. Neither Jared Padalecki nor Jensen Ackles expect or want the complications that arise in their lives from their fast friendship- especially when it develops into something neither anticipated. While Jared accepts and tries to deal with his growing feelings for his famous friend, Jensen fights it every step of the way until his strictly controlled life, hidden behind a public persona, spins out of control.

A Supernatural Love Story by MsImpala67 (on AO3) (Ch 10 5/12)  The story of how Jared fell in love with Jensen, how Jensen was already in love with Jared, and what happened after that.

Beautiful Disaster by nyxocity (on AO3) ***Comp   Rock Band AU. Jensen’s the lead guitarist in the number one rock band in the country. Justin’s the lead singer, and they’ve been doing this together since middle-school, been together since just after high school. As on top of the world as they are, Jensen’s starting to become disillusioned with the lifestyle and his crumbling relationship with Justin. And then he meets a new roadie on the crew named Jared who’s got a voice like an angel and a heart to match, and everything starts to change.

Homework Verse by nyxocity (on AO3) ***   Jared’s eighteen and in his senior year at a private school in San Francisco. He’s coasting pretty on his parents generous school donations—until his seventh period Physics teacher gets replaced with the maddening, infuriating, gorgeous Mr. Ackles. Jared’s gotten by all his life on his money and his charm, but Mr. Ackles seems to think he needs some… lessons in self-control. The journey their relationship eventually takes them on turns out to be far more than either of them ever bargained for. ((Toppy!Teacher!Jensen in glasses and Student!Jared in private school uniform included))

It Takes Two ‘Verse by ObsidianRomance (on AO3) ***Comp   Jared and Jensen first meet when pro wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys Jensen decides to improve his game with some ballet lessons from famous Polish ballet dancer Jared. Jared thinks Jensen is brutish and Jensen thinks Jared is prissy, but you know what they say- opposites attract.

Alpha Mates by sanshal (on AO3) ***   What happens when two rival alphas are forced into a mating bond?? In a world where alphas hold power and mated-betas are naturally submissive to their alphas, two business competitors are compelled into accepting the other as their life-partner. In spite of the inevitable clash of wills and egos, the duo manage a fragile peace…but will the others’ secrets shatter the careful truce they managed? And will the two rivals ever manage to attain domestic bliss?

Honey, Flower, Apple, and Lime by veronamay (on LJ) ***Comp  The year is 1855. Jensen is the scion of a wealthy Dallas family, heir to a ranching empire that stretches across the American Southwest. Until now, he has led a life of carefree abandon, charming his way into boudoirs and out of entanglements by dint of his silver-tongued wit. After his father’s sudden death, Jensen is sent to London by his stepmother to acquire a wife during the Season. Threatened with disinheritance should he make an unsuitable match, he arrives on the doorstep of his friend Welling’s household prepared—reluctantly—to do his duty. Everything changes, however, when he lays eyes upon the Wellings’ newest footman. Padalecki is tall, strong, intelligent and beautiful—everything Jensen admires in a man. From the moment they meet, Jensen is willing to risk everything to gain the gorgeous Texan’s love. But Padalecki wants nothing to do with Jensen … or does he?

Phoenix by Xenodike, NC17, 111k ***Comp   It’s a nineteen hour drive from San Francisco, California to Evergreen, Colorado. When Jensen drives out of the roundabout and onto the compact dirt road leading towards the two thousand four hundred and fifty-six acres of The Phoenix Ranch, it’s nine o’clock in the morning and he’s been traveling for twenty-three hours straight. Coming home to the ranch Jensen left ten years ago, he has to face his past, present and decide what he wants going forward. All while juggling a baby, a broken relationship, his grandpa, dad, part-time stepmom, four uncles, a cousin, the mother who abandoned him and Jared fucking Padalecki. It’s complicated…

Of Princes and Prophecies by Zubeneschamali, NC17, 44k ***Comp   Jared has lost everything thanks to the usurper High King. He can’t take any of it back, but he can strike out the only way he knows how: kidnap and ransom. The High King’s fiancé is riding across the country and through Jared’s forest, and wouldn’t he be a fair prize?Jensen has not quite resigned himself to the fate of being the High King’s second spouse when bandits strike. If he can get away from them, it might be his only chance for a life of his own. But once he finds out who the bandits’ leader really is, everything will change, for himself and for his kingdom.

Guilty series by Theboys on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice, shame on both of us, because we let it happen. Jensen and Jared are both guilty. The only question that remains is whether or not they’re willing to do anything about it. (parts 2,3 and 4 have Daddy Kinks)

You Are My Hero by A_Touch_of_Hope on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Jared’s finished school, and it’s finally the summer. He plans on spending it with his best friend Chad. Jensen, Chad’s father is going through a rough breakup–Jared never expected that listening to Jensen berate himself would hurt so much. Feelings develop, and he feels like he needs to get away. But Jensen finds him. “I’m thirty-nine. Not getting any younger. If you want me, let this happen. If you don’t, stop me, and I promise you that I will never make an advance on you, Jared.”

I’ve Got A Jared Waiting At Home For Me by A_Touch_of_Hope on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU. Jensen needs to be with Jared, not stewing in his cubicle, just waiting for the clock to strike five. Yes, Jared had given him mind-blowing head as a wake-up call birthday present, and then proceeded to ride him like a cowboy—it had been fucking spectacular—but not enough to grant him the patience to remain here, when it’s the last place he wants to be right now.They have stuff to do, no time to sit around.

Teach Me, Daddy by littlefirefly31 on Ao3. Jared/Jensen. J2 AU.  Prompt: Hey, man! I’ve missed your stories so much, I’m glad you’re back! I have, yet, another request - Age difference J2 with younger, bottom!Jared and lots of daddy kink? (ages 11 and 21)

[myhauntedsalem]

30 Doctors, Nurses and Paramedics Describe their Most Disturbing Medical Stories

1. The Guessing Game

“I work as an ICU nurse. A mid-20s female came in with some serious cardiac abnormalities and then went into respiratory distress. Never had any medical history at all. We had to put her on the ventilator, but she was on just enough sedation to keep her lucid. She could nod/shake her head yes and no appropriately to questions.

One night, the patient in the room next to hers died, but the body was still in the room about to be taken to the morgue. The female patient’s door was closed with curtains drawn, so she couldn’t have seen what was going on next door. When I went in to check on her, she had a look of sheer panic on her face, trembling. I asked her a series of questions to see if she was cold/hot/in pain/etc. and she denied all. I asked her if she saw something—she started to aggressively nod her head YES. She wasn’t on any drugs that would make her hallucinate. I went on to get details on what this thing looked like. After playing 20 questions I got this: a man, pale white, left arm missing, heavy, bald, standing still, behind me. This was the man who had just died next door.

I spent the rest of the night consoling her.” – whites42

2. Life After Death

“When I was on an ER rotation during med school we got a call about a 23-year-old woman who was shot in the head, and who was already completely gone, but was reportedly five months pregnant so they were doing CPR until they got her to the hospital to see if the baby was viable. They got her to the ER and did an ultrasound and turned out the baby was full-term so they did a C-section in like under a minute and got the baby out.

I don’t think it’s so incredibly uncommon but it was pretty surreal to see a baby delivered from a dead person with their brain exposed and she was pretty close to the same age I was at the time.” – bluegraypurple

3. The Last Goodbye

“When I was a student, I got called in on a stroke patient. She had coded and they were doing CPR. They worked for 45 minutes, but she died. They cleaned her up, and called on the family to say goodbye, but by that time the family left. She had been both brain dead and without a pulse for more than 45 minutes. Blood had filled her brain, and she was completely grey and started to smell. Suddenly, she sat up, and called for her family. The nurses rushed to get monitors and equipment back on her. They started working on her again, she stabilized, said goodbye to her family, and promptly died a second time.” – simplesimon6262

4. Miracle Man

“When I was in trauma surgery in upstate by, got a notification about a man who was shot 3 times in the head. He comes in, literally one eye hanging out of the socket, blood everywhere, and he’s slumped forward. Apparently, he was shot in the temple, exited out his right eye socket, in the nose exited from the roof of the mouth, and In the cheek one with exit from the side of the head.

At this point, I’m thinking they just brought him in so we can pronounce him in the ER because he looked dead. I go to examine him and tilt his head back, and he says ‘Yoooo be gentle!’ I jump back and scream like a little boy, as did everyone in the room. Literally, the bullets missed his brain in every single shot.” – Noimnotonacid

5. Bleeding

“One of the aides I work with said she was doing postmortem care on a patient who had been on many, many anticoagulants before death. She said when they turned her on her side she started bleeding out of every orifice—eyes, nose, mouth, and ears. She said her and the nurse went home and had nightmares for a week.” – sparklingbluelight

6. The Haunted Hospital

“My town has two really old hospitals. One no longer functions overnight, and the stories are unsettling. No one cleans the old ER alone because all the lights and call bells go off. On other floors, there’s a kid with his ball, a lady in a white dress, etc. A coworker was cleaning an entire floor utterly solo (the norm) and bounced between rooms because the cleaning solution stays wet for a few minutes. Upon returning to a freshly wiped bed, hand prints were clearly visible.” – Sapphire_Starr

7. Eyeless

“I used to do home care for an elderly lady with learning disabilities and no eyes (they were removed due to a congenital condition). She was lovely but prone to wandering around her flat at night in total silence, which led to several horrifying situations where I left my room at 2 am only to encounter her standing silently in the hallway, turning her eyeless face towards me.” – NovelistResearcher

8. Lonely

“One call that will always haunt me was on an unresponsive female at around three in the morning. We get there and do some pointless CPR along with the fire department… She had been dead for a while; no shockable rhythm, and clear rigor mortis. The most disturbing part was that the original caller was her 11-year-old daughter, who had just spent three days with her mother’s corpse and called 9-1-1 because she was ‘lonely’. It also didn’t help that the victim was completely naked when we arrived.” – CupofJoe776

9. Clear Waters

“I have quite a few stories, most of them are hilarious and then there are those you never want to think about. What fucked me up the most was when I saw how eyes change at the moment of death. Imagine you are looking at clear water but that clear water changes to foggy in an instant. In my 8 years here I’ve only seen this once, and I’ve personally seen well over 250 dead or dying people.” – ImCuden

10. Night Lights

“I work nights in a long-term care facility as a nurse’s assistant. I have two men under my care and both of them are unable to use their call lights. They have severe dementia and debilitating Parkinson’s disease but still, their lights are looped around their bed rail. One night their light came on and I went to answer it already confused and creeped out. I turned it off and left the room. Before I could get two doors up the light came back on. I went in there and both lights were unplugged from the wall and thrown under their beds. I fished them out, plugged them back in and left.

I’ve seen shadows standing over the dying and felt a tap on my shoulder while doing chest compressions so I knew that lady had passed.” – beeoakly

11. Holding Hands

“I’ve had a couple of weird calls. One was a major MVA-head on many, many years ago when we played M.E. as well. We had 2 DOA (husband and spouse) that were killed instantly in a head-on collision. They had a 12-year-old daughter that was in between them and they actually took the impact, saving her life.

While en route, we noticed the husband’s arm had come loose so I went back to re-strap it. As I was doing that, the wife’s arm suddenly fell out as well, and her hand fell into her husband’s. My boss was watching in the rearview mirror and helped clear the way as I ran back into the front. It spooked both of us. Apparently, the couple (mid 30’s), had just found out he was cancer free after his last treatment.” – Anonymous

12. Last Meal

“I had an old lady come in by ambulance, near death. She was a DNR (do-not-resuscitate), so we weren’t going to do much for her. She didn’t have any family that we could find. The hospital was full, so we had to keep her in the ER for the night.

Again, she was near death. When you’ve seen enough people die, there’s no mistaking it, and she was almost there. Barely responsive; pale, cool, breaths were really irregular, heart rate was up and down, too. We just turned the lights down and kept an eye on her monitor, basically waiting for her to die.

About an hour later, she’s standing at the door of her room. She’d gotten up and put on all her clothes. We were all like, ‘WTF?’ One of the nurses went to check on her, and she said she was hungry. Not knowing really what to make of things, we got her a chair, a bedside table, and went to the cafeteria and got her a tray of food.

She sat there, ate all her food, talked with the staff a little. After about an hour, she told her nurse that she was tired and wanted to lie back down. We helped her back into bed, and within 30 minutes she was dead.” – Anonymous

13. “Don’t Let me go Back there”

“When my mom worked as an E.R. nurse a guy came in from a car accident and was losing blood. In the midst of resuscitation, the man jolts awake and screams ‘Don’t let me go back there! Please, please, please don’t let me go back!’ A few seconds later they lost him.” – JeremyHowell

14. The Rusty Old Saw

“This woman was clearly struggling mentally. She went into her basement and started sawing at her wrists horizontally with a rusty hacksaw, bleeds a good amount, and then starts walking around the house. She wasn’t dying quick enough, so she sat down in a chair in the middle of the living room, and started going at her wrists again, this time with a pair of scissors.

I was the second person inside the house. It looked like a massacre. We searched the house top to bottom, fully expecting to find multiple dead bodies in there. I’ve never seen so much blood in my life. Every single room had a trail of blood in it.

The woman was found on a chair in the living room. Rigor mortis had contorted her body into a really strange, unnatural pose, and her face was haunting. Literally the stuff of nightmares. Her wrists had huge chunks of skin/veins/muscle missing from them. Saying she slit her wrists is inaccurate. She ripped them to pieces.” – anoncop1

15. Visitors

“I work a stroke/telemetry floor on the bought shift. Most of our patients are elderly. Apparently, there are two things that patients see before they pass away. Some will say that two men are walking in their rooms and telling them to get ready to leave. The patient will call and tell us that these men are big and abrasive in their demeanor. They are either terrified or annoyed when they see the two men. The other thing they will see is a little boy who will go into their rooms and try to wake them up. The boy is usually loud and runs around their rooms. The patients will call and ask who’s letting children just run around late night. Several nights or even that same shift we’re coding or cleaning the patient for the funeral home to pick up.” – pokfynder

16. The Handsome Man in Black

“I used to work in a skilled nursing facility, usually assigned to the Alzheimer’s ward. One night I’m in the linen room stocking my cart, and I heard someone shuffle up behind me, then I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and there was no one else in the room. The door was still shut too.

Another lady started to complain that a man was coming into her room at night (again, Alzheimer’s so I didn’t think much of it) so to reassure her, I told her I’d check on her throughout the night. She complained of this man for every night for two more weeks when I asked her to describe him to me.

‘He’s real handsome, and wears a black suit. Oh. He’s right behind you now, honey.’

That freaked me the f*ck out. Of course, there was no one behind me. She died the next night in her sleep.” – Anonymous

17. The Blender

“We got a call for a male in his early 30s with ‘heavy groin trauma’ (exact words of the dispatcher). We roll up lights and sirens and the guy is waiting for us on the front step with a towel over his crotch. We barely come to a stop and the guy is already running towards the rig holding this towel. I asked him what was wrong and he moved the towel and this guy’s dick was just barely hanging on. Apparently, he had ‘lady problems’ so he decided to fornicate with the food mixer he had in his kitchen and accidentally turned it on.” – YayShinny

18. The Charred Skin

“Motorcycle driver, accident, third-degree burns, arrived DOA. Had to transfer him from ambulance gurney to ER bed. As we were moving him with a transfer sheet, the liquefied/cooked subcutaneous fat caused the charred skin on his back to separate and his body slipped onto the floor (despite several of us trying to ‘catch’ him).” – Doc-in-a-box

19. Dead Man Moaning

“Worked security through college at a local hospital. The only ‘creepy’ thing I remember is when a dead man moaned. One of my duties was to help wheel patients who had expired down to the in-house morgue. Once we were wheeling an older man from the ER down and halfway down the hallway he let out this low moan. I started to panic, thinking that he was coming back to life but the RN explained to me (newbie) that sometimes the air in the lungs doesn’t come out until sometime later or is delayed for a bit.” – ill_do_it-later

20. Otherworldly Screams

“I have had fellow coworkers swear that strange things have occurred in the ER. Two people that I work with were charting at the nurse’s station when they both heard a scream followed by incoherent words come from one of our open bays. There were three patients in the room and they denied screaming or hearing anything. I have also had fellow coworkers talk about hearing strange voices especially after really bad codes and one person states she felt someone grabbing her shoulder after the doc pronounced a trauma code. These are all respectable people and I do not think they would lie.” – Anonymous

21. Blank Stare

“We got a call to go out to a scene for an elderly woman with chest pains. I arrive at the house, front door is open. We knock, hear the old woman calling out from the back ‘I’m in the back room’ in a very monotone and calm voice. My partner and I go to the back of the house looking for this woman, and that’s when we smelled it. Nothing prepares you for the smell of rotting corpse. I’ve smelled it a dozen times, and it never gets any less disturbing. We radio for police and ALS backup as we move through the house.

We opened the door to the master bedroom, and there is our patient. She is approximately 80, and she is staring at the master bathroom with these cold, dead eyes. She never once looked at us as we approached her and began talking to her. I got to the bedside and got in front of her gaze, and she just looked right through me. I turned around to see what she could possibly be looking at, and there was the source of my smell.

A man, about the same age as my patient, is on the floor with very little left of his head still attached to his body. A shotgun lay on the floor next to him, and most of his head was strewn about the walls and bathroom counter. We loaded the woman up in the ambulance, and our police backup pulled up.

I don’t think that woman blinked once the entire time she was in our care.” – TheFilthiest

22. “Bill’s Here”

“I’m an RN and while I was a student I was caring for a lady who had an end-stage renal failure, had a DNAR (do not attempt resuscitation) and was shutting down. We were having a little chat when she stopped, looked over my shoulder and said ‘Bill’s here love, I’ve got to go,’ and swiftly stopped breathing. Read her old notes and Bill was her deceased husband.” – Jesspandapants

23. The Body on the Floor

“The call was for an older woman, lying in bed. When we get there, the smell is horrendous of a dead body. There are millions of flies everywhere and a little old lady in lying in the bed, alive. About five feet away, there is a body covered up by a sheet. The lady was a dementia patient, and her husband (the deceased) was the primary caregiver. Based on the number of flies and state of decomposition, the police estimated the guy had been dead for about three weeks. The woman must have been getting some food out of the refrigerator, but it was totally empty by the time we arrived.

The creepiest part happened on the way to the hospital with the woman, she said, ‘I hope that nice man on the floor is OK’.” – Tools4toys

24. The Fallen Cross

“I responded to a call where a janitor was dusting quite a large stone cross in the middle of a church. He had been up on a ladder cleaning, when he slipped off, and proceeded to try to hold onto the cross to keep from falling. Unfortunately, the weight of the 200-pound man was too much to support. The cross fell towards him, landing on his left arm, with a part of the horizontal stone of the cross, pushing his muscles and tendons out of his wrist like a squeezed toothpaste tube. Then the cross fell completely on him splattering his brain across the floor. Quite disturbing, and definitely the most horrific and gore filled call I had ever witnessed.” – UpboatOarKnotUpboat

25. The Headless Nurse

“I used to work in St Barts Hospital in London, which in parts is over 1,000 years old. One of the buildings had 2 floors (with massively high ceilings), and so the floors were taken out and rearranged to make into 5 floors. The nurses working night shift would often tell us of the ghost of a night nurse who wandered silently doing her ’rounds’ at night—but due to the new floors, only her head would be visible drifting down the ward.” – jenthejedi

26. Monsters

“I was still a nursing student at the time, but this was from when I had my psychiatric clinical placement in my 3rd year.

I was assigned to a young male patient with schizophrenia. He had been a voluntary admission because he heard voices telling him to hurt people around him, and he admitted himself because he was afraid of actually going through with it.

Anyway, I went into the room alone, as usual, and did the usual introduction and asking how he was doing. He was at a desk drawing creepy, hideous monsters—each monster had its own page, and there had to be at least half a dozen of these pages scattered around him. I asked him what they were. He answered that those were the monsters he saw. They were the monsters that whispered to him and told him to hurt people and do awful things. Guarded, I asked him, ‘Are they telling you to hurt me?’

He answered, ‘Yes.’

I didn’t stay very long in that room.” – duckface08

27. The Man in Black

“People turn batshit crazy and creepy as hell when they get really sick. There’s even a term called ICU psychosis…and trust me, it’s real. Anyway, the creepiest that takes the cake for me is this (am an ICU nurse, btw): Had a patient who was admitted for overdose. Very long history of mental health problems. She was thrashing around in bed, very combative, kicking people’s asses for days, totally incoherent.

Well, the night I had her, she started making decent sense, but still not oriented at all. She was extremely paranoid and kept talking about the man in black in the corner. I’d hear her talking to him and screaming, all night long. So I’d go in there and try to calm her down, but you could see the fear in her eyes. she was talking other nonsense about how she was in space and shit, and with certain patients, you try to redirect their ‘reality,’ but what I did didn’t help. She said ‘that man in black! Don’t you see him!’ and pointed to the corner. I said ‘there’s nobody here.’ I stepped in the corner she was pointing to and waved my hands around. While I’m waving my hands around in the air, she had the most horrifically terrified look on her face that actually scared the shit out of me, like I had just assaulted the man in black. I said ‘see, there’s nobody here’ and she said in a matter-of-factly‘that’s what you think.’ I promptly got the fu*k out of there.” – HeatherTakasaki

28. Eyes Wide Open

“I work in palliative. Most deaths I’ve seen have been more or less peaceful, though the ones that are not, stick with you. One guy was silently screaming through his last few hours of life. Another guy (who up until this point had been unresponsive) reached up and grabbed me when we attempted to lower his bed to turn him.

One time while doing post-mortem care I walked into the room and thought ‘that’s weird, how come nobody has closed his eyes yet?’ He had that movie-perfect dead look, with pale blue staring eyes and slack jaw and greyish, waxy skin. I closed his eyes and started the care, and when I looked again those eyes, still staring at me, were slowly opening, one slightly slower than the other. He groaned when we turned him to wash his back and his hand managed to clamp onto the bed rail and we had to pry it off. When we finally got him onto his back again, there was a foul-smelling, oily black, viscous liquid on the pillowcase. I cleaned his mouth again thinking it must have come from there, but his mouth and nose were clean. The best I could figure the stuff had come from his eye. I couldn’t wait to get that bag zipped up.” – draakons_pryde

29. Crawling up the Hallway

“I used to work as an STNA in a nursing home. Worked third shift throughout university. During the night we turned half the lights off so it was darker for the evening and didn’t get a lot of light in the residents’ rooms. We had one resident who was younger (70s) and was mostly in for mental reasons. She had long, dark hair and was very thin.

I was sitting at the nurse’s station at the top of the hall and heard a call light go off. I stood up, looked down the dark hall, and on all fours—straight out of The Ring—this resident was crawling up the hall toward me. The other STNA had forgotten to put the bed rail up and the resident was VERY good at climbing out of bed.

Needless to say, I needed some new britches and my heart was racing a mile a minute.” – blameitonthewookie

30. Heaven

“Had a young woman in full liver failure. She was orange in color and she was still conscious. She asked me what I thought it would be like to die. I told her I didn’t know but I hoped it wouldn’t be painful. She then asked me if I thought I would go to heaven. I told her that I believed I would. She asked me if I thought she would go to heaven, and I told her I wasn’t able to answer that question.

She then told me ‘I am going to heaven and I know it,’ and I asked her how she knew that and she told me something that I will never ever forget. She told me ‘I know I am because that man over there told me so.’ I asked what man and she said the man sitting on the end of the bench. I asked her what he looked like and she said ‘he looks just like the Jesus on the windows of my church.’

Well, to tell you I was pretty well affected by that statement. She then went on to say ‘And he says that you are going to go to heaven too.’

We then prayed and I will never forget that interaction between the two of us. About a week later she passed away. I hope she made it to heaven.” – Anonymous

[supernatural0224]

J2 fics

1. Mildred: A College AU It is a truth universally acknowledged that a Jared in possession of his heterosexuality will immediately switch teams upon enrollment in college and first contact with Jensen Ackles. [cute, adorable. Long, but really simple.] 2. Disclaimer  Jared and Jensen are willing to do almost anything to help their friends. Almost. But what Chris is asking of them this time? It's the one thing they both swore they'd never do: Grow up.  [I don't know about the individuals in here, but the relationship they have was ah-mazing.]

3.No Codename  Jared's got a brand new show, tons of things to keep him busy, and pretty much the most awesome costar he's ever met. Okay, so maybe he has some less than entirely pure thoughts about said costar sometimes, but he's, like, eighty-three percent sure Jensen thinks impure thoughts about him, too. Sometimes. Possibly. Now he just has to stop being so chicken-shit and actually make a move.   [oh my God! I can't remember when was the last time I had this much fun while reading something! And the best part is that I can imagine our Jared and Jensen being like this, in real life 😍] 4. Operation: Mistletoe  FBI Agent Jensen Ackles is a damn good agent, but his devil-may-care attitude, gut instinct, and sheer dumb luck have finally run out. With his job and reputation on the line, Jensen is assigned to a new partner: the overzealous and overachieving Agent Jared Padalecki.Their mission: Infiltrate a ring of drug dealers hiding out in Suburbia in the midst of the Holiday season.The only catch? They have to pretend to be head-over-heels in love with each other. [cuuute 😍] 5. Project Get Jared Banged Jared's had the best stepbrother in the world in Jensen since the age of five — growing up together and more attached than usual brothers would —, only realizing that he’s in love with Jensen by the time he hits thirteen.After five more years of Jared's impossible crush, he knows his life turns and spins around his brother. Luckily for Jared, he and Jensen have always been closer than other siblings, making his feelings seem a little less hopeless. Or that is until Jensen announces he’s moving to Austin to live with his girlfriend next year, leaving Jared's perfectly built Jensen-centric world crashing to the ground.That’s when Chad and Sandy decide to convince Jared that moving on and letting go of his feelings are the only way to get through his lost love for Jensen. Yet their plan to get Jared out of his shell and over his stepbrother doesn't sit well with one person: Jensen himself, who realizes that the more Jared tries to pull away, the more he wants to get him back closer. [The first time I read the summary, I squirmed away. But then, it turned out to be one of the sweetest, with angst served on side dish I have had in a while ;) ] 6.The Winchester Identity  A tall and handsome doctor is kidnapped by a mysterious green-eyed man who has no memory—but who definitely has a past. The J2 AU version of "The Bourne Identity".   [W-O-W!! This was so freaking amazing and absolutely amazingly written. It had been such a long time since I've read a good thriller - and since I hadn't read or watched the original, so I was totally unspoiled. I loved everything about it. Though it is freakishly long, but it is SO worth it.] 7. A Hole Straight up to the Sky   Captured by scientists determined to save the human race from impending extinction, two weres - seemingly strangers - are caged together in the hopes that they'll mate. What happens between them is unprecedented and changes the course of both their races forever. [I liked it. It was good. Worth a read.] 8. The Gloaming  gloam·ing ˈɡlō miNG/ - the part of the day after the sun has gone down and before the sky is completely dark: dusk Other popular connotations: gloam, glow, glowing, glomming, glommedJared always knew he would one day experience a gloaming and find his soulmate. No one told him, and in fact, no one else in his family that he knew of had ever glommed; but he just knew, and he was willing to wait, despite all the offers thrown his way and all the well-meaning advice by friends and family; Jared waited.After all the tragedy Jensen had endured recently, he was now content to live a simple life taking care of his family and working a job that he loved. He sure never thought he'd ever find love again, let alone a true love; if one were to believe in Gloamings, which Jensen never really did until it happened to him.Jared and Jensen - strangers from seemingly different worlds decide to give love a chance. But will outside forces and unforeseen enemies drive them apart or bring them together forever?They only have 60 days to consummate or the Gloaming will Fade... and they will both lose out on what could possibly be a love for the ages. [pure fluff. Like seriously, even the angst feels fluffy but um, yeah. Go ahead. It is fun. [Sequel awaiting]]

9. The Lost Big screen star Jensen Ackles was on his way to Brazil to continue filming his latest project. He was glad to lose himself in the role and bury the pain of his broken heart by slipping on a stranger’s skin. Because of his manager’s twisted attempt to help, he found himself on a private jet with a high-class rent boy. Before he could figure out what to do with that, a bolt of lightning sent them tumbling into the rain forest. With them believing there were no other survivors, Jensen has to figure how to get them back to civilization. It was a good thing he was as strong and capable as the leading men he portrayed on screen, because how much help could an expensive hooker really be in the middle of the Amazon? [okay? This? This is pretty amazing. (Apart from certain someone being over possessive and protective, but that’s probably just me) And I enjoyed this story more for, well, the story than the fact that I love to read about pairing. So, big kudos to the author. ] 10. Hope You Don't Mind   Jared has no problems being an introvert in a family of extroverted women. He enjoys his alone time as a freshman in high school... that is until signs for prom start showing up. With both his sisters going, he begins to wonder if maybe his time alone is a little lonely. [it is fluffy and funny and fantastical and a pretty decent one.] 11. When You Find Me [You'll Search No More] When Jared unexpectedly finds himself in possession of a stolen jewel that belongs to the mysterious and powerful sorceress who lives in the woods behind his castle, he feels compelled to return the stone right away. The witch surprises him by offering to grant him one wish, and the last thing he expects is to fall in love.  [i probably read an extra zero when I first read the word count so I was so surprised when it was coming to end :P But it is good, very cute :] ] 12. reinventing love 'verse   Coming out to your best friend isn’t easy. But then again, neither is falling in love with him. [okay. This is AMAZING and CUTE and I am a pile of mush which doesn't know what to do with her life anymore. *whispers very, very slowly* I want a love like that... ] 13. Bring Me to Life   Jared’s a shy young man, whose life has never been easy. His father hates him, his mother drinks her sorrows away and his husband Paul treats him like he is nothing more than a beautiful toy. When his husband has to go away on a business trip to Europe for two months, he sends Jared away to a ranch in the middle of nowhere to keep him under control. There, Jared meets people who show him what love, friendship and loyalty mean for the first time in his life. Can he escape his life and finally find some love and happiness for himself? [Oh, Jared! Come, babe. Let me wrap you up in blanket burrito.] 14. Refracted 1. To deflect (light, for example) from a straight path by refraction. 2. To alter by viewing through a medium. 3. BentJared knows exactly what he needs to do: earn a 4.0 grade point average, lead the basketball team to the state championship, nab a spot on the Homecoming Court, and be the best son two Catholic parents could ask for. He should know, this sort of stuff has been his life for the last 17 years, but this is when everything changes.Befriending Jensen Ackles, who everyone knows of but doesn’t really know, opens Jared’s eyes to an array of possibilities he’d never considered. With Jensen in his life, Jared finds the courage to to be his own person, recognize his real feelings, and make his own decisions when it comes to school, friends, and love. [this was nice. Sweet and simple. I liked it.] 15. There's a Hole in Me, Just About the Size of You  [I have already read and listed it, but seriously, it is just so angsty and inevitable and mushy - it is worth reading again] 16.The Doors of Time  About love and Fate and destiny. And Jensen being weird. And piano music. And finding the one person that's made for you in a world that isn't. Something like that. [AMAZING - seriously. There is no other word for this. Just, WOW!] 17. For All Your Days and Nights (I'm Gonna Be There)  Jared returns from a days-long hunting trip to learn that the chieftain of their tribe has passed away and Jensen, his best friend, is to succeed his father. As their new leader, he faces many challenges, including having to find a spouse. But before he settles down, Jensen asks for one night with Jared first. It turns into much more. [OMG this is super sweet! Loved it.] 18. Brand New Start  Jared Padalecki is one messed up kid, after his parent die he his tossed from Foster home to Foster home slowly losing everyone he loves. He's given one last chance with the Ackles. Can he come to peace with his past? Will he admit that he's attracted to Jensen? AU story of a hurt boy who's trying to find some peace and maybe, if he's lucky, love. [A little heartbreaking, a little painful but worth a read.] 19. [Won't Someone Come] Rescue Me   Big things are coming soon to The Wayward Heart Band; then lead singer and guitarist Jensen discovers a box of abandoned kittens, and his personal future starts to look just as bright as his professional one. [aw, so cute 😆] 20. You Came Smiling Softly, Shyly Moving, Into My World   Jensen wants more — wants to know what Jared tastes like in the morning, and after he's had his first cup of coffee of the day, and between takes, sheltered away in their trailers. He wants to explore Jared's body with his hands and mouth, get him to make every sweet noise there is; he wants to be inside him and all around him, until he's everywhere. [I ABSOLUTELY loved it. The author is probably my fav one.]  

[whogoesthere-cleveland-blog]

The BIG Egg

The Place: The Big Egg

Location: 5107 Detroit Avenue, Cleveland

Susan: The Big Meh(gg)- Please Forgive Them for Their Trespasses. 

Shannon: A place for people to go and eat. 

Overview of The Big Egg

Shannon: What seems to be becoming the trend, I’ve been here once before, but, you, Susan, have not. Which I really don’t get because didn’t you often have the honor of being the last man standing waiting to chauffeur random revelers home from many a’ music venue in the wee hours of every grunge era lost weekend? How you managed to consistently dodge this place, I’ll never know. Then again, a direct quote from their current website and menu might have had something to do with your judiciousness: “More than seven years have passed since Big Egg Family Restaurant closed its doors on the Detroit Shoreway…the Big Egg had developed a loyal following by offering good food on the cheap. Not so abundant was an adherence to standard sanitation practices. After being cited for a number of health violations, the Cleveland Health Department pulled the plug on what was then a Cleveland staple.”  I guess props to the Big Egg for being so transparent? The one time I dined there during their golden (health violation) era was after attending some bizarre performance art piece (I know, I know - a bit redundant to use bizarre and performance art in the same sentence) at Cleveland Public Theater. After being seated at our table, I flipped my pre-set coffee mug over for a late night cup of joe and was surprised to find several pieces of French toast expertly stuffed inside. I guess at least I was able to buy a box of Tagalongs from a table of Girl Scouts who were inexplicably hawking cookies at midnight. Then again, maybe those scouts were just a continuation of the performance art. Who knows? Just part of the mystery of The Big Egg, I guess.

Susan:  Ha! I love that story. The menu referenced “devastating PR in 1997”. Was that because of all the health code violations? I just assumed they found a dead body in the bathroom or perhaps a riot broke out at 3 AM between the club kids and the bike messengers. I mean, the place did have that sort of reputation back in the day. The menu reads more like the New Testament. It’s very long and detailed and yes, they offer up much explanation, acknowledgement of past sins, and then ask for atonement. Yeah, it’s amazing to me that I’d never been here. However, I will say, in the late 90s and early aughts, after a long night of drinking, we would drag our collective asses home to retire for the evening. Wait, no we wouldn’t. We’d just go home and drink more.

(As an aside, I apologize for the blurry photos. It was Daylight Saving Time Sunday and I couldn’t tell if it was me or the camera that was fuzzy and unfocused.)

Anything special about the interior? 

Shannon: The dining area is split up into two rooms with the Northern and Western walls featuring windows - oddly we were seated in the Southeast section near the back vestibule and adjacent to a television set (with bad reception that was playing Turner Classic Movies on mute) even though the place was far from being crowded. The decor was festive and seemed to cover all the major holidays from late 2016 through the Spring 2017: mistletoe and poinsettias, to leprechauns and clovers.

Susan: There was an underlying scent of bleach in the air, which while is typically distasteful, in this setting, I found it oddly reassuring. I think that was a purposeful move by management, like, “See! We’re clean here! So clean that the entire place smells of Clorox! It’s just that clean in here, you see! So very, very clean that your nose hairs will become singed by the scent of chlorine-Now THAT’S clean, I tell ya!!” And don’t attempt to actually watch the TV in there. You will develop cataracts while trying to make out the shadowy forms moving across it. I really feel like they should not have even bothered with that. It would have been fine if it was like a 20 inch black and white Philco Predicta with a dial, but it wasn’t! It was a huge flat screen TV with the worst reception on the planet.   

After being seated, we looked at the menu for a really, really long time: 

Susan: In our defense, as aforementioned, the menu was very long and apologetic. There was like three pages of small font text in the back. How do you not read and analyze that!? I felt like it was our obligation. So while taking our time perusing the menu, we had a laughable succession of servers come up to try to take our order. It was like a magician pulling scarves out of his sleeve. They just kept coming! One after another and never the same person twice! Really, by the sixth server that appeared at our table, I just “LOL-ed”, as the kids say. I still cannot wrap my mind around why The Big Egg employs twenty-seven servers on Sunday morning for a total of about fifteen customers. Lulled into a false sense of security by the bleach fumes, I ordered an omelet with feta and tomatoes, hash browns, and rye toast. The omelet was pretty good and I will say, I truly enjoyed it!  The hash browns, however, were an unnatural rectangle shape. This continues to disturb me when I see it. Maybe I just don’t like square food.

Shannon: I alternated between perusing the menu for poorly scanned representations of entrees that made it seem like Raspberry Zingers was a legitimate breakfast option, and getting distracted by hits from the 1980s (Who Can it be Now, In Cars, C’mon Eileen) pumping through the overhead speakers. Finally, I went with a French toast reboot (this time on a plate instead of in a mug). It’s almost as if that darn Big Egg has made this dish my ‘usual’.

Who Goes There? 

Susan:  Neighborhood types and those longing to reminisce of bygone days when they used to be combative club kids and bike messengers, but now they have a spouse and two disheveled children that refuse to eat anything but pancakes. 

Shannon: Folks who aren’t quite sure where to go.

What philosophical school of thought would be most comfortable at The Big Egg?

Shannon: Absurdism 

Susan: Optimists  

If The Big Egg were a TV show hangout, who would be a regular? 

Susan: “The Man” from “Chico and the Man” 

Shannon: Mike Erhmentraut from Breaking Bad  

Additional thoughts: 

Shannon: The spin fridge was full of Boylan cane sugar artisan Root Beer. I mean what is this, Portland? Speaking of, as I was Googling The Big Egg, I found a Website for a restaurant of the same name that actually is in Portland, and I have to say, it looks kind of better. Here is their Website in case you want to compare and contrast: http://www.thebigegg.com (note how they secured the domain name first). 

Susan: Check out the gum ball machines! You can get three super stale mini Tootsie Rolls for 50 cents!! I keep thinking, who would buy those? Kids don’t really like Tootsie Rolls and if they did, 50 cents is a complete rip off! Especially considering you can get a Hi-Bounce ball for the same price. I mean, c’mon! Is there really a decision to be made here? 

Would you go back?

Shannon: I won’t suggest it, but if someone else does I guess I’d go along. Actually, I take that back. I might go back for the fresh cut fries. 

Susan: Sure. It seems like the perfect place to go after having spent twelve hours in the ER.

Is it a good place to bring Neal in a Baby Bjorn?  

Susan: No-The last thing they need is anymore “devastating PR”. They’re obviously still scarred and recovering from ’97.  

Shannon: No. A camouflage backpack would work better. 

Hours of Operation:Monday through Thursday - 6am - 9pm, Friday and Saturday - Open 24 hours, Sunday until 3pm 

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2rLYp4e

Malaysia could be on your list of adventurous traveling destinations for so many reasons. They are known for their beaches and rainforests with a rich heritage culture, loads of activities, and sites to see. As for activities, they have big caves and old temples to visit, some of which are pretty whacky and scary. Malaysia also has lots of exotic foods to try. Malaysians believe that if you visit their country, you will instantly fall in love with it. According to the website Malaysia.travel, “To know Malaysia is to love Malaysia.” Their slogan “Malaysia, truly Asia” proves that in the country one can discover a convergence of different races—Indians, Malays, Chinese, and many other—that altogether live peacefully and harmoniously. With the diversity of cultures that thrive in Malaysia, it should come as no surprise that it is home to hundreds of colorful festivals. Because of this, Malaysians naturally love to socialize and celebrate. If you’ve never been to Malaysia before or even if you have already visited it, you might want to consider reading this list of 15 disturbing facts Malaysians don’t want you know about their country. The list includes some pretty weird things, including strange superstitions, icky eating habits (just a warning, worms are involved), and growing and building the largest things on Earth.

#1 They Have The Grossest Infestation Of Cockroaches Thriving in one of the caves of Malaysia, Gomantong Cave in Sabah, are cockroaches in abundance. In fact, the worst infestation in the world. They are all there fighting for food from bat droppings and thriving from the wet environment. Remind me never to visit this large cave in my life. What sounds worse than bat droppings from the ceiling and cockroaches swarming at your feet? It gets worse. Not only do they have the worst infestation of cockroaches in the world! They have a problem with large snakes too. Drum roll, please! King Cobras. Yes, you guessed it right. The largest venomous snake in the world is found in Malaysia. The longest King Cobra was found at Port Dickson in 1937. It was so huge that they captured it and took it to a zoo in London where it grew to 5. 71 meters.

#2 Practice Of Needles Under The Skin! Here is a practice that you do not want to try! Shamans practice cosmetic sorcery by poking gold, silver, or precious metals underneath their skin. This practice developed from the pre-Islamization era of Malaysia and Indonesia. This is meant to make the Shaman who partakes in this practice of poking himself with needles never die. This practice is also meant to prevent his spouse from cheating on him. It’s also believed to heal his ailments and infections in the body and bring everlasting youth and beauty. Very strong claims for a simple weird practice of poking yourself.

#3 Crazy Flying Records You might not have heard much about Malaysia and its accomplishments, but this one was quite the real deal. Dr. Shikh Muszaphar Shukor is an astronaut from Malaysia. He was practicing Ramadan when he was meant to fly to space. He didn’t let this deter him. In fact, he actually became the first Muslim astronaut to practice Ramadan while in space. Think that’s crazy? They also had the youngest pilot fly around the world by himself. Captain James Anthony Tan was only twenty-one years old when he chose to fly around the world all by himself in 2013. He flew a thirty-year-old Cessna 210 Eagle aircraft for twenty-two miles around twenty-one countries in fifty days! Talk about guts, I would be too scared to fly a plane full stop.

#4 Weird Superstitions Old beliefs do not die easily. For instance, Malaysians are still afraid of the number four. If you go to Malaysia, you will find that in lifts and on unit floors the number four doesn’t exist. They usually replace this with 3A. This apparently comes from the old superstition that the number four sounds similar in phonetics to the word death. On the other hand, they see the number eight with a lot of favor, mostly because the Cantonese pronunciation sounds like ‘batt’ sounds similar to ‘faat’ which refers to wealth and prosperity. So impressed are they with this number that you’ll often see men driving around with the number eight prominently on their number plates. They have many superstitions. Apparently, according to ancient belief, if a cat jumps over a coffin with a dead person inside before the coffin is buried, the man will come back to life! This doesn’t sound like a very hard feat to bring someone’s life back. I wonder why they don’t try to have more cats jump over coffins, like a regular ritual at burial services.

#5 They Grow Some Of The Biggest Things In The World Though not a very large country, Malaysia grows some of the most gigantic things in the world. Found naturally in Malaysia is the biggest flower in the whole world known as the Rafflesia. They also have the biggest undivided leaf, the Alocasia Macrorrhiza from Tawau, in Sabah. They have the largest cave chamber in existence, known as the Sarawak Chamber at Gunung Mulu National Park. The cave chamber covers an area of 1.66 million square feet! This was discovered in January 1981 by three British cavers during their Mulu eighty expedition. You certainly wouldn’t want to get lost in there. Apart from that, they also have the largest insect in the world—a stick bug. Named as Chan’s Megastick, the stick bug measures up to 56.6 centimeters. The bug was discovered in 1989 by a naturalist, Datuk Chan Chew Lun, in Sabah. After having read about all of these massive things, I’m sure you couldn’t decide whether to consider this cool or freaky. It makes one wonder why almost everything grows gigantic in Malaysia?

#6 They Have An Old Custom Involving Babies And Worms Malaysia is known as a place of rich heritage and culture. Some of their cultural traditions are a bit stranger than you would imagine. For instance, traditionally in Iban communities in Malaysia, babies and young children are referred to as ‘ulat’ until they are given a name of their own. The word ‘ulat’ actually means worm! Somehow, this is meant to be given in an affectionate way. The idea of having a generic nickname until an official name is decided on was actually common for many traditional cultures. The use of the nickname worm is rather odd, though. If it was a bit of a cooler nickname like ‘precious’ or ‘cool kid’, then I wouldn’t mind adopting a tradition like this. I think it’s much better than everybody referring to the baby as an ‘it’ for the first few days or weeks (some people take an awfully long time to decide on their baby’s name).

#7 They Make The Biggest Things Ever worried about getting lost on a long endless road? Well that fear might actually come true if you stay in Malaysia. They have made the longest highways in the world. In fact, the total length of their highways is 40,934 miles. That’s more than the circumference of the earth at 24,901 miles! The plan was to make it easier to get around, but making roads longer than the entire earth is just plain freaky. As if the 40,934-mile highway wasn’t enough, they also designed the biggest roundabout in existence, the Persiaran Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah in Putrajaya. It’s not just me that gets lost reading these really long names, is it? Its diameter is 2.7 miles (3.5 km). In 2015, they won a Guinness World Record for the largest hotel in the world known as Genting’s First World Hotel. It has three stars and has 7,351 rooms. This sounds like a place worth staying, doesn’t it?

#8 First To Try This Crazy New Medical Procedure You probably wouldn’t guess it but the first arm and hand transplant was actually performed in Malaysia on a little girl. Up until this moment, only hand transplants are done. This procedure took place with Dr. V. Pathmanathan in charge of the team. They operated on 18 May 2000 at Selayang Hospital on a baby girl only one month after she was born. Her name was Chong Lih Ying. Her new arm and hand was actually from her identical twin sister who died at birth from severe brain damage. Only five months later, she was already waving both of her hands and cuddling her teddies. The surgeon responsible believed that the surgery would be successful only because they had used the identical twin’s limb so this means they have similar cells and come from the same blood group. I guess there’s always a silver lining in the dark cloud.

#9 Boats Capsizing They have boats capsizing. According to a post from news.com.au in January 2017, “A boat ferrying 40 people from Indonesia has capsized off Malaysia’s coast, killing at least nine people and leaving nearly 30 were missing. . .The agency said a combination of overloading and bad weather and heavy seas were believed to have caused the accident.” Apparently, this incident was not the only occurrence of boats capsizing. A number of similar accidents have occurred along the waterways of Indonesia and Malaysia. More often than not, these accidents are caused by overloading of ferryboats carrying laborers who seek for work in Malaysian plantations and factories. According to a news article, in November 2016, “more than half of the 101 passengers aboard a boat died after it hit a reef and sank off the Indonesian island of Batam, south of Singapore. Four months earlier, a boat sank while en-route to Batam. Malaysian authorities recovered eight bodies and rescued 34 people.”

#10 They Don’t Take Jokes Lightly If you’re planning to go on a vacation in Malaysia and see all the terrific and great sites of the land, always bear in mind that their law system is rather very strict. And if you’re caught being very silly, you might just end up in jail. In October 2016, according to 9news, nine Australian men were put in prison for stripping down to colorful Speedo trunks in the design of the Malaysian flag. As if that wasn’t enough, they drank beer out of their shoes and sang in a public place during celebrations at the Grand Prix. While the crowd found them the pinnacle of amusement and joy, many cheering on and taking selfies with them, the authorities put them directly in prison. Authorities said that they would receive their sentence with a possibility of getting out easily by simply paying a fine. However, there’s still a greater possibility of being sentenced up to two years of prison “with intentional insult to breach the peace.”

#11 Malaysian Delicacy Will Make You Want To Vomit Okay so when I read this strange fact, I actually had to stop myself from gagging. In East Malaysia, they have a delicacy that you never want to try. Although they are said to have a creamy consistency and not taste half as bad as they sound, would you still want to go all the way to the country and eat these rather stout and “juicy” worms? Probably not! Mostly eaten as a treat in Sabah and Sarawak’s native tribes are the larvae of sago worms. Thankfully, this has mostly been phased out in modern menus around the country, though you can still find them stir-fried, roasted, or simply raw at weekly markets and at tourist attractions! Why tourist attractions? Leave it for the old tribes please. But yes, you can find them at tourist attractions like Monsopiad Cultural Village where they’re served to the tourists as part of their program. Maybe this is why they name their babies after worms. This is the absolute most appealing picture I could find. Just try Googling larvae sago worms and imagine eating them raw. Bon Appetit!

#12 They Have Fruit That Stinks The Durian fruit, a real charm in Malaysia. These were banned from traveling on the Singapore Mass Transit because of their intense odor even when still unopened. You either love the fruit or you hate it. And for most, it’s a hate relationship. Though in Malaysia, most people love this fruit and some even love the smell. When they are in season, they have durian fruit buffets that people flock to to eat as many durians as they want. A Malaysian source still suggested bringing mouthwash along. According to food writer Richard Sterling, “Its odor is best described as pig-sh*t, turpentine and onions, garnished with a gym sock. It can be smelled from yards away. Despite its great local popularity, the raw fruit is forbidden from some establishments such as hotels, subways and airports, including public transportation in Southeast Asia.” Anthony Bourdain calls it “indescribable, something you will either love or despise. … Your breath will smell as if you’d been French-kissing your dead grandmother.” Judging from what I’m hearing, I’d rather give this fruit a miss.

#13 Cat Museum In A City Named After Cats Open from 9am to 5pm every day, this is a cat lover’s dream coming true. Some visitors have complained online that it’s rather overpriced for a dingy rundown place with not so much to see. Though according to their website, they only charge for photos and filming (perhaps these charges are outrageous?). According to Sarawaktourism.com, “The World’s first Cat Museum, devoted to all things feline, is in Petra Jaya in the Kuching City North City Hall. Cat lovers will find a range of exhibits, photos, feline art and cat souvenirs; over 4,000 of them. The museum is housed on the ground on the City Hall Building, spread over four galleries covering a total area of 1,035 sq meter.” The cat is said to be a good luck charm, so I guess they decided to make a museum of 4000 things of good luck! Personally I would much rather visit a couple of cute little kittens at a pet shop or a cat café than go through 1,035 square meters of souvenirs and paintings of old cats.

#14 Venomous Snake Temple If you weren’t freaked out enough to hear that Malaysia had the largest snakes on record, then maybe the fact that they actually have a venomous snake temple for tourists to visit will make you a little…okay maybe not so little…uneasy. The Penanag Snake Temple is said to house venomous pit vipers and green tree snakes. Upon entering the temple, one can see a big incense burner filling the main prayer hall with smoke. The smoke emitted by these incense burners tranquilizes the serpents and makes them appear motionless or even asleep. Additionally, at the start of the temple, there are tanks that hold pythons and cobras. This is meant to be the best spot to get a photo. This temple is one of the most popular tourist attractions and there’s only a small fee to visit. Someone would have to pay me more than a large fee to get me to even consider visiting that temple.

#15 Mosquito Virus “Zika” According to an article from new.com.au in September 2016, Malaysia is on high alert for the Zika virus. Catching a virus from a mosquito is alarming as they are so small and unassuming. Sure they usually annoy you with their itchy bites, but how do you even avoid them when they’re flying around. If you’re traveling to Malaysia, make sure to bring a load of mosquito repellents. Actually, Malaysia put up a poster at Kuala Lumpur International Airport warning people and advising tourists to be extremely careful by being fully covered in clothing with long sleeves and pants. They’ve also advised tourists to avoid having unprotected sex when they return home for eight weeks. Zika virus is caused by mosquitoes and can leave you with an awful fever.

Source: TheRichest

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Sick Days

On a recent Thursday afternoon:

I just called for a sub to cover my duties tomorrow.

My youngest, (of the three girls I have written so much about in the past) didn’t really want to go to school this morning, was clearly feeling not-right (just not bad enough for me to let her stay home). She made it through the day only to end up with a fever of 104 by about 4PM and collapsed on the couch to sleep through dinner time.  So I went to call in a day to get a substitute teacher to cover me. Silly me, I lost the automated sub-service username and log-in code used for when dialing into the automated system. Man, it used to be so much easier (on the people calling in-not so much the sub caller or even the sub themselves).

But what to do?  My wife had no flexibility for taking the time for tomorrow. Sometimes she can do some rearranging-but there was no way this time.

The same recent Thursday, but later:

Turns out that I remembered an old email from another district employee telling about a few days where she would be monitoring the call-in system and covering for the person who usually handles that. So I sent her a quick text to see if she could help me out. In the end it all worked out and I got someone to be me.  And I got my username and log-in info now so it won’t be such a hassle should I need to do this again.

Also, guess who that substitute is going to be: one of the women in the family that heads the little Baptist church in the village; a church that students are released to for religious education on Thursday afternoons. No, I do not teach in a religious school-but I teach in a pretty religious little town. Anyways, she’s at the church, she does summer bible school, AND she drives bus when needed. On field trips, on regular daily routes... And you could never know a more gracious, caring, smiling, and perpetually positive person. She and her family are fixtures in our community.

And she’s me tomorrow! You don’t know the load it takes off a teacher’s mind when they find out that a reliable person and personality will be there in their absence to guide the students through the “have-to” , “do if you want”,  and the “if nothing seems to be working, then do this”. Most teachers I know don’t really like being out, but guess what-life happens to teachers too. They get sick, they have bank business and lawyer business, they have families and parents and spouses and children and pets and cars...and all those things get sick too and taking care of them means taking some time off. Not only are these dedicated, professional teachers wrapped up in all the little, young, and grown up lives around them every day; not only are they in that room and in that building with hundreds of flu carriers and coughing, runny noses; not only do they become privy to the heart-breaking problems and respiratory-wrecking germs in that emotional and biological Petri dish called “school”... These teachers need a day off once in a while, and they earn it. Believe me. They are super, and I don’t mean the dramatized charter-promotional movie kind. I mean the real, quietly un-promoted, every-single day for long hours and many years, going above, beyond and outside the call of duty kind.

Again, they need a day off once in a while. This time I needed that day.

But like most teachers, I really don’t like being away from my students and colleagues, and at first I was only going to take a half day because my wife said she could get home and take over with our daughter. Then I found out that this particular sub would get called in, that she had bus duty and would be dropping kids off at school, taking the bus back to the bus garage, doing the shut-down/visual inspection stuff and then getting to school a little late. Not her fault at all, she does the job she’s given and does it well. But if I came in for an afternoon half-day, she would barely get in a couple hours in the school. Hardly worth the time, from her perspective, if a chance for her to put in a full day was to come up.

So I just took the full day. My little girl was so sad and feverish, and yes my wife could have pulled strings and made it home and I could have gone in...But I did the right thing. These benefit days exist out of respect for the fact that life happens, sick happens, even to teachers. And l have done the math to figure out that most teachers I know put in the hours beyond the school day, during the school year, to cover a summer vacation worth of school days and more. On top of that, the woman called in for me deserves to have her talents utilized beyond bus driving duty.

The very next day, Friday, and early:

I’d gotten up early to get to school around 6:30 AM, driving the snowy roads about 20 minutes to leave some hand-written supplemental stuff, then had to turn around and get back quickly to make sure my wife and other two girls could get out the door. Because I live in a rural area, and teach in a rural school with a fairly high level of poverty, there are resources and services available to our students at no cost to them. One is a physician’s assistant who has been wonderful, supportive, and understanding as our daughter (and our family) deals with the repercussions of PANDAS- a condition that virtually took my youngest daughter away from us quite suddenly and replaced her with a totally different child. Thanks to the diligent research of my wife, this school-based professional, and a diagnosis and course of treatment most traditional doctors still don’t accept-my daughter is much better. Still not entirely herself, but I can be thankful for how lucky we are.

But anyway, I return to school to bring my girl in a little after the start of the school day to minimize her contact with others and go straight to the nurse’s office for some poking, prodding, a throat swab (*gag*)... and the whole time I’m thinking “I’m so grateful my kids will get a good substitute who will get value out of the materials I left.”

Later Friday:

My wife actually finishes her Fridays in the same school our kids go to and I teach in, so when she came home she shared some news. My substitute was shifted to cover another spot. She was prepared to have my duties, and came dressed to teach. Instead, she was shifted to cover someone else, likely an aide or assistant spot, and she wasn’t prepared to cover an outdoor recess. When my wife caught her in the hallway and asked how it was to be me (trust me, it’s a daily struggle but I manage to get by) she found out.

When my wife told me, I was bothered on a few levels:

1) Yes, my family needs me and I don’t regret for a moment taking benefit time that I have been a part of negotiating for (as union president and as VP), that I have earned, that I deserve...But uncertainty regarding “What will happen if I’m away?” is one of the reasons teachers are tentative to take time even when it’s needed. I know the insolent sheep in the education reform camp like to throw out stuff like “Other workers don’t get paid sick days,” and “Teachers get too much time off already,” and all-but suck it up, buttercup. There’s a reason why I can do what I do and you can’t-and if you really thought it was such a sweet deal-you might be doing it instead of posing as an authority on how it should be done and what kind of time off any teacher needs or deserves.

2) I was bothered that my students had missed the opportunity to benefit from a quality person there in my stead. I don’t know who was there or if they even had someone...they may have cancelled my services for the day. I push in to support a few classrooms and pull students out for more formal intervention services but know that in a pinch services are cancelled if coverage can’t be found. In my opinion, recess coverage is less important (not that recess isn’t important), but I don’t know the technicalities of being the administrator or the specifics on who else might have not been in that day. Maybe I was deemed more expendable or more easily done without considering who else wasn’t in.

3) I feel like I have a debt to the wonderful person who should have been me, and should have had the chance to work with kids in the way she love to instead of freezing her cheeks, her nose, her fingers...The only reason I really took the whole day was because of the comfort of knowing I could because it would be her covering for me.

Well, Monday is a staff conference day (no students), so if she’s in I might have to get her some hot chocolate.

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