#shits depressing man
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Trying to be excited to start HRT this November while the looming threat of it being ripped away by next year hangs over me
#current events#shits depressing man#I love being transgender. I love Texas.#I do not love the way the Texas state government treats us.#they’re blocking people from changing their gender markers on their licenses now#including blocking court orders#they’re compiling a list of anyone who has ever done so or tries to do so#it feels like we’re being left behind#like there’s all this hype about how Kamala is gonna save us#but is she? has she mentioned anything positive about trans rights?#will she do anything to help us in red states?#it feels like the dems have made it clear they’re willing to throw us under the bus to gain the transphobe vote#and liberals- including liberal queers in blue states who already got their protections#are happy to allow it to happen with no protest or word against it#like I said. shits depressing man.
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Man this shit is depressing.
#Man this shit is depressing.#israel#israhell#benjamin netanyahu#fuck netanyahu#arrest netanyahu#bibi netanyahu#netanyahu a criminal of war#palestine#free palestine#freepalastine🇵🇸#free gaza#gaza strip#gaza genocide#gazaunderattack#gaza#free rafah#rafah under attack#all eyes on rafah#save rafah#rafah#ausgov#politas#auspol#tasgov#taspol#australia#fuck neoliberals#neoliberal capitalism#anthony albanese
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The Dark Sh*t •ᴗ•
My recommendations for depressed people (≖‿≖)👍
#anime and manga#anime#anime recommendation#horror manga#manga#manga recommendation#dark shit#horror anime#seinen#seinen manga#seinen anime#berserk#ergo proxy#blame manga#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#chainsaw man#devilman crybaby#junji ito#shoujo tsubaki#ichi the killer#homunculus#neon genesis evangelion#made in abyss#dark manga#perfect blue#akira 1988#killing stalking#depressing shit#dead inside
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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I have all the time in the world. How about you?
There is a theme to Aylin's threats and vows of vengeance that I've noticed and that I want to share.
Do what you will. I cannot prevent you. But you know as well as I, I will come for you. One day.
That one, for example, is for Balthazar, while she is imprisoned.
I cannot prevent you. But I can advise you. Be careful to whom you yoke your fate. One day, when he is severed from me, Ketheric will die. I will not. And when I am freed, I will remember whose recompense to claim.
Did you expect me to beg? To cry? To plead? For what. I accept my fate - for now. But the life of a divine is longer than you can fathom, Sharran. And this cold chapter will close, one day.
And those are for you, when you've yet to harm her, when she's still only warning you off. But then, if you choose to try to kill her, like so many before you:
Was it everything you hoped for? Was it sweet, Sharran, to murder a paladin of Selûne - her daughter - her sword? Congratulations - your mistress Shar will write your name on her hand. And I? I will come for you. When the time is right.
The next bit depends on your character's gender:
When your sons are grown and your beard is long and wiry; when you cannot hold your nightly water and your nose grows as long as your weary, weary days… When your daughters are grown and your chin sprouts whiskers dark - when your teeth are yellow as corn and your sleep grows short and your days are long and weary, so weary… When your children are grown and your eyes are weak; when your nose grows as long as your weary, weary days…
Ultimately, your fate will be the same:
That is when this immortal will visit you, Sharran. That is when I will show you what it is to be afraid.
All these long-term promises of one day, coupled with inevitability.
I find it so striking that most of Aylin's threats include her flaunting and flexing her immortality (as well as her flawless, long memory) over whoever has wronged her.
Present your weapon, soldier. Plunge it into the Nightsong. I cannot stop you. But know this: I never forget a face. HAH! Are you afraid, Sharran? Do you rattle and jump at the realisation that an immortal has your face emblazoned in her mind forevermore?
Everything is but a passing inconvenience to her, she claims, even a century of imprisonment and torment. Outlasting, outliving - that is simply what she does and what she chooses to intimidate with. Promising to wait until you are old and decrepit, until after you've experienced all the vagaries of age that she never will, leaving her sword hanging over your head throughout the entire miserable lifespan that she has permitted you to have.
Then, if you wrong her in a very heinous way, there's the extreme one of outliving not only you, but killing and extinguishing your entire bloodline in order to obliterate every trace of you from existence:
WHEN I AM FREE, I WILL DESTROY YOU! I WILL MURDER YOU, AND YOUR CHILDREN, AND THEIR CHILDREN BESIDE! I will rip this world apart, plank and beam, until every iota of your being is scalded by my light. This is my promise. This is my vow.
Over and over, Aylin builds her oaths of vengeance on the foundations of an utter, even proud, certainty that she will see her foe end, one way or another, due to her nature and the simple fact of her own endlessness. This is the well she keeps coming back to.
And I find all of this, this consistent insistence on it, so striking and ironic, because one of her other main emotional threads is being thoroughly enraptured by and devoted to and just so completely in love with a mortal. One who will age and die and pass into memory just like all the targets of her rage - if I think of Isobel when I re-read all of that dialogue up there, it seems to cut both ways so deeply. But then there's the extra element that every single one of these is spoken when she either knows or is (incorrectly) convinced that Isobel is dead. Isobel, who didn't get to grow old, and who is both an anchor to humanity and a very painful reminder of the truth of Aylin's situation being twofold.
Aylin will outlast what she hates, yes, but she will outlast what she loves as well.
#dame aylin#bg3#baldur's gate 3#sorry i just decided to spew meta spontaneously#it will happen again#some good shit mortal/immortal angst to be found here always#is she consciously and deliberately drawing on that? i don't know but both the idea that she keeps picking at her wounds in that sense#using this/her particular experience of loss as a threat and a weapon now that she's so very intimately acquainted with it#and the idea that she's not aware of the implications and irony of what she keeps saying at all#work for me#man isobel-less aylin is both depressing and scary every time
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
#terri#niart#got my wisdom toofies out#well 2 out of 4#still got stitches#idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless#also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash#i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet#I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for#the difference is like night and day#old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day#new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day#i am sobbing#the right people are out there#don't lose hope#i've never felt this platonically loved honestly#also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd#just#a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out#this piece was such a strain and i just#don't have patience for art rn#this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers#i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh#ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now#Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man
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(tw sh/blood/vent art) "i hate it here, i hate the smell and fluorescent lights, but most of all I hate you", he utters, gazing at his own face in the reflection of a dirty mirror; as both are only hanging on by a thread.
blood/injury tw ↓
..yeah.. i really really hate it here
#vent post#deleted like 80% of the text that was written oops#havent written in a while#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs dazai#bsd dazai#bsd#my art :)#bsd fanart#venting#tw vent#tw blood#tw self h4rm#tw injury#bungo stray dogs dazai#tw depressing stuff#poetry kinda?#i love making dazai suffer#its my only decent coping mechanism#i'm alright i promise#antikr1sta#vent art#vent ish#cw sh#cw selfhate#cw blood#cw mention of bugs#not trying to glorify this shit#wet cat dazai#wet cat of a man
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Wicked Mannerisms wip sketches :3
#one piece#one piece anime#zosan#vinsmoke sanji#sanji#roronoa zoro#zoro x sanji#zoro#doodle#wip#wicked Mannerisms zosan#sorry for being so slow#man#am depressed as SHIT
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i hate how nice food tastes, like if it tasted gross i’d be so much skinner by now.
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btw quick reminder that if you're a terf you're not welcome here
#chibiblabbing#the whole thing going on rn. man.#scrolling the dash today has just been depressing with all the international news and internal tmblr shit#also tired of seeing h*rry p*tter stuff on my friends insta stories i love her but hhh#seeing her share a thing and then go on to find the asshole donated tons of money for her terfy crusade#yikes
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Lamest fucking thing ever that Christianity had to spread outside of Italy in Europe. We could've had Àsatru norse gods worship, Slavic paganism and Finnish nature worship and other super cool shit like that but nooooo. Jesus I guess.
(To specify since I don't want anyone getting offended over this: Worship who you want, this isn't a anti christianity post, I just think that it's really sad and lame that the spreading of christianity historically led to the complete erasure of a lot of countries' native history and culture, and wish it could've gone differently)
#i always play to keep the traditional religions in ck3 because the idea of repeating history makes me depressed#LEAVE JESUS OUT OF THIS LET HIM CHILL IN ITALY.#actually no give me back roman paganism that shit was so much cooler man
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#daddy k!nk#angel#coquette#girlblogging#hell is a teenage girl#this is a girlblog#nice and tight#cnc daddy#masked men#teen slvt#depressing shit#older man younger woman#oldermen#older guys#older is better#teenagers#daddy’s babygirl#sexy babygirl#cnc kidnapping#kidnap roleplay#kidnap fantasy#girl blogger#lana del rey#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana core#lovers#free use kink#free use slvt#aesthetic#degrade and humiliate me
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Once a Hero.
-Prologue-
Danny Phantom fought with the knowledge that at any given time he could be stricken dead. With the knowledge that his own parents, the people who brought him into this world, could be the ones to take him out permanently. The Job was already half done after all.
But no matter what, no matter his adversaries, Danny held strong. Despite the constant threat of the GIW and his parents, despites his rogues’ shenanigans and Vlad’s scheming, despite the citizen’s ungratefulness, he held his ground. Always staying true to his beliefs.
Yes, he made mistakes ,terrible ones. Yes, he has done things he would forever be ashamed of. But he never let others take responsibility for his actions. The very proof being his existence as Phantom.
There is no denying it, Danny Phantom/Fenton is a hero.
An existence to whom every victory comes hand to hand with tragedy.
An existence favored by fate.
And fate is known to be a cruel mistress.
~~~
He should have known something was up. It was too good to be true. He should have trusted his instinct. But he ignored it, choosing hope instead of the very thing that kept him alive all these years. All it took was one mistake for everything to domino into a nuclear warhead that quite literally took his everything.
And now, there he is on all four in the middle of a crater of what once was Amity Park and its surroundings. His ears ringing only able to hear the sounds of his own screams.
The once menace, once protector of a city too soon departed wailed in agony. Clutching at his wounds with a strength that reopened his sloppily made stitches. His devastated wails, only interrupted by his sobbed breath and hiccups. His throat was ripped to shreds, tainted ectoplasm pooling into his mouth and lungs while some got projected out with each wail.
Rivers of tears cascaded down his face burning his already bloodshot eyes. His unstable form glitching from ghost to human to something in between.
His once healthy balanced core was now struggling to remain whole. Cracks appearing all over, life and death fighting to preserve their precious Halfa’s existence. Danny felt his body and core beginning to give out. His consciousness finally fading. His body slowly being engulfed into the cold familiar embrace of death.
He fell on his back. His wails dying to choked wet sobs and coughs. Through his tears, Danny could only vaguely see the smoke covered nightsky. Ash falling slowly around him like snowflakes.
He could feel the cold creeping up his limbs then gripping his chest. His already dying heart being embraced by a type of cold even his core couldn’t dream to reproduce. Phantom finally fell silent, his unseeing eyes staring at the starless sky above.
Danny in his last few coherent thoughts felt the pain of his core shattering and reforming itself. It felt like his entire being was set on fire before being melded back together. He felt familiar arms cradling him close to their unbeating heart. The familiar ticking of a clock luring him into a dreamless rest.
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Masterpost!
Chapter 1!
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Author notes:
My brain vomiting this at 3 am. I am sorry for any catastrophic grammar and english, that would be my brain short circuiting from lack of sleep. I intend to hopefully continue this story wherever it may go. You’re welcome to suggest anything or add yourself something to it.
#dcxdp#dp x dc#dpxdc#angst#i wrote this at 3am give me some slack#Let's see how much trauma I can fit in such a small body#How much emotional damage can I inflict to almost every character of his story?#Fluff becomes sweeter after some gut wrenching angst#Don't worry I am not anything near Gege or Spider-man writers#I am shit at writing#There needs to be an equilibrium between angst comedy and fluff.#I like happy endings but I need to make it worth it#I need your tears laugh or smiles to survive#My brain chose depression deal with it#That aside hope you enjoyed the read#once a hero#prologue#Poppywrites!
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hot take but you all NEED to stop telling people to kill themselves.
yes, even *those* people. i don't care if you're talking to some monster who puts live puppies into a wood chipper for fun, don't say that shit.
because mx. puppychipper isn't gonna be affected by your words.
but you know who might be affected? some innocent third party reading the words you said on a public website.
because telling people to kill themselves says "suicide is a punishment for being a bad person. bad people, upon realizing they're bad, should simply commit suicide instead of working to atone for their actions."
and that is NOT a message you wanna be normalizing to anyone, but ESPECIALLY people with depression (who, let's be real, make up a higher than average chunk of this site's userbase). whose mental illness is already telling them that 1: they're an inherently terrible worthless person no matter what they do 2: death is an appealing option.
is reading "kill yourself" once or twice gonna make them do it? nah, probably not. but reading it multiple times a day every day is gonna make their mental health worse. it's probably not good for your mental health to be saying that kind of thing, either.
just knock that shit off. the world is already so hostile to people with mental illness, and managing mental illness and unlearning unhealthy thought patterns is already so difficult. you don't need to be out here making it worse.
#eliot posts#suicide mention#animal abuse mention#i guess#ive said similar before and i just said this in the tags of another post but it deserves its own post#i am fucking TIRED of reading this shit so often#i frequently block people for saying it#sometimes i report ppl over it too if they're shitty in other ways too#i luckily don't have the ''i'm a worthless piece of shit and deserve the death penalty'' flavour of depression#but i do have the ''life is endless suffering and i want to euthanize myself'' variety of depression (or. technically bipolar.)#and reading the phrase kys Feels Bad Man w my mental illness#and i have froends w the first type and i worry about them#and one of em has told me it does affect them quite negatively to read kys#so yeah! fucking stop it!
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you’re where you belong now!
#yeah alright fine so i watched welcome to hell. and yeah ok i got attached to him. who’s fucking surprised#ilex was right he’s like oli with depression and im a sucker for angel demon symbolism this shit was made for me#sage draws sometimes#welcome to hell#welcome to hell fanart#welcome to hell 2#welcome to hell spoilers#w2h#w2h2#jonathan combs#what���s the shadow fuckers tag#shadow jonathan#idk man i just got here ok#any of my followers fw welcome to hell.
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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