#shes literally done nothing wrong?? and shes SOO hated for what

[ithinkdogshouldvote2]

So not sorry when i say that I’m a tracker hater and a Nara fan.

[golbrocklovely]

I got to say this, because i am so mad:

People who say that people who support Malia and Colby are not their real fans, cause “Malia is using Colby” get on my nerves soo bad. Like wtf you want from us. Cause let’s be real:

Even IF Malia is not a good person and is using Colby. It was Colby’s decision to be with her. Even if he ends up heartbroken, it is his life and he deserves to live it the way he wants. Wtf you want us fans to do about their relationship? Like let’s think logically! Even if Malia wouldn’t be a nice person… how tf would we know that, like seriously? She didn’t do anything that would make us think “oh she is a bad person” and Colby chose her for some reason, so ofc in our eyes she is a nice person, cause we want her to be a nice person, cause that is something that a normal fan would do, when they find out that their idol is dating someone. Nobody normal wants to believe that a person our fav is dating is ass. But even if Malia would do smth publicly that would make majority of fans question her being nice (which till now,she never did) . Then again, what power over Colby’s life we got that you think that we can change smth? We got none and that is the way it should be. Colby is an adult capable of making decisions, so even if Malia wouldn’t be a nice person, it’s still his decision to be with her and hating on her constantly wouldn’t change a thing. If anything, it can make colby stop interacting with us, but if you think that by sending Malia hate, acting like you know her better than Colby, who knows her personally, will change his mind and heart and be like “hmm, yk they are right”, then you are fucking delusional and need a therapy session booked.

You are obligated to your opinions and if believing that Malia is not a good person makes you sleep better at night, then so be it, go for it! But leave her and Colby alone, stop hating on them online 24/7 and let them just be. Even if that relationship would end up breaking up in the future, let them be. It’s their business, not ours. The way they handle their private life has absolutely nothing to do with us.

sorry for the delayed response. totally forgot i didn't answer this lol

i agree with you 100%

i think what's odd is how many fans jump to the conclusion that every girl colby fucks with over the years is somehow bad. like, i get that maybe some of his track record is… questionable??? if that, but let the man choose who he wants.

also at this point i truly don't think anymore actually hates malia. i think a majority of those hating on her are trolls who have nothing better to do and they like the attention they get from other fans, whether good or bad. they don't care that they look crazy, they just want engagement. bc i seriously cannot believe that there are ppl that genuinely dislike her. she has done literally nothing to deserve hate, and even if she did something wrong, hating her is not gonna make colby change his mind.

i think certain fans have just the deepest levels of internet brainrot and the only way to fix that is to ignore them bc it's basically unfixable any other way. i'd have a better conversation with a wall than with those ppl lol

then of course there is also the fans that are saying all of this mean shit bc they are bitter and hateful towards the world since their lives suck so bad. seeing someone actively act that way is honestly more sad than annoying to me at this point.

[cumulonimbuns]

Excuse me a moment for TKSD, as I must scream.

(Pretend there's an 80 line long string of "AAAAAAHH" I don't want to actually fill up the dash with that much junk text)

I love it. Chef's kiss. Beautiful. Sidon my beloved. Link my beloved. Flying dragon breaking out of her mindless state my beloved. Mwah.

I feel it necessary that you are making my polyam partner very, very gooshy about the polyamourous society of Zora you've made. They've been having a rough time with so many "Yona jealous of link and sidon" and "Yona blocks off link from Sidon" shit, and you and the Secret Confessions To a Sage comic by @kenneduck have literally sent them to tears of the happiness of good, easy polyamoury. They've been very gooshy.

And I can't wait to see how Chapter 5 goes. The ending of chapter 4 was soo good, and I loved the entire story. The line in chapter 1 about how Link was a tool to use for the kingdom, not a person that can have desires Mmmmmmmm good shit angst. And the Whole Breakdown was so good and aaaa Link keeps fleeing. And Yona getting right under there and swooping Link out of there I love her. I love what you have done with her. Just. Aaaaah.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

I’ll scream for you, no worries lol!

But seriously thanks so much!!!!

And towards your partner, I COMPLETELY understand. I remember finishing TOTK and excitedly running to ao3. Only to see some of the first fics with Yona was just hating on her, or turning her character into a really mean lady who you’re supposed to root against. There’s nothing wrong enjoying your gay ships, but maybe don’t vilify female characters only bc they ‘get in the way’? It reminded me WAY TOO MUCH of my time in the Sonic fandom (I’m still a part of that fandom, always, love that silly blue hedgehog <3), and ppl would do the same to Amy in a lot Sonadow fics. WHICH DROVE ME INSANE.

I will always believe the hc of: wingman Yona, supportive wife Yona, or Poly Yona. They’re all wonderful <3 Just have these bitches love each other. It’s way more fun. I know once I complete TKSD I’d rlly rlly like to write a fic about SidYonZeLink, polyamory relationships are very dear to me, and I love exploring how complicated yet wonderfully caring they can be.

BUT OMG, I ALSO LOVE KENNEDUCK!!!! The Secret Confessions comic is just *chef kiss* GLORIOUS! I’m almost POSITIVE all of ya’ll have seen/read it, but if not—YOU BETTER GO RIGHT NOW AND DO SO!!! Their Yona is also so so so wonderful, she is so soft, and she and Sidon are so soft together. I love it.

I’m excited and nervous for chapter 5! I know a lot of y’all really wanna get to Link, but it felt important to write about the Sage’s to set up a couple of future events. I meant for it to be fairly short and then have a larger section dedicated to when they find Link, but thats… not exactly what happened. Atm the doc is at an even 19k word count (dunno how i managed that), and i still have a decent amount of things to write, SO…. Yeah. A lot of this chapter is really just about the Sages and the Sage’s bonding. If that’s not what you want than you can obviously wait til chapter 6, which spoilers, will be Link’s pov and ONLY about his recovery.

Thanks so much for all your kind words!! I rlly appreciate it <3<3<3

I hope everyone has a lovely day and that you enjoy future chapters and future fics!!

[yezzyyae]

PLEASE WATCH THE SHOW Properly! “THE BEAR”

Nothing makes my stomach hurt more than “Sydney & Carmen love stories” 🥴 I can say if yall wish they were a couple but yall literally lying about scenes in the show! Yall literally ignoring the writers, creators, and actors about how Sydney & Carmen is being written & acted upon. It’s disturbing because I can only imagine what yall everyday lives are like smh

There is not one scene where Carmen & Sydney are glazing at each other secretly in love! Y’all not watching the show correctly and it’s soo fu*king annoying!

Sydney is not jealous of Claire & Carmen’s relationship because she is secretly in love w/ Carmen. Sydney is jealous because she is wired that way. Sydney wants all of Carmen’s attention because she been following his career since eating his food in NY so once she got in his world, she wanted him all to herself. Of course Sydney would want Carmen’s focus because her last business failed so she is banking everything on “The Bear” smh ITS NOT LOVE! Please stop being weird! Carmen is not in love with Sydney smh Carmen was trying to balance his love, life, grief, and business in season 2 not holding on to these secret feelings for Sydney.

ITS SELFISH TO CARMEN’S STORY! To make up things when the show is not a riddle to figure out! Everything is laid out in color for us to see so I don’t understand how yall see Sydney & Carmen in love when Sydney didn’t even know Marcus liked her smh. Sydney is not focus on love right now she just wants to make her dreams come through and working beside Carmy is helping her. Sydney is not the angel on the show smh Sydney doesn’t admit when she is wrong & she is selfish! Carmy never asked Sydney to come back in season 1 finale, he told her to come get her last check. Sydney is not a good #2 and I hope season 3 reflects on that. Season 1 episode 7 “Review” the mistake was Sydney’s and plus she rushed Carmen in the to-gos when they were both not ready. Sydney blaming Carmy is insane to me I hate that whole interaction when she calls him a “shitty person” it’s SELFISH! Sydney never offers her sympathy to Carmen about the loss of his brother who restaurant she came in trying to control. It’s weird Carmen is not a shitty person, he is just a complexed person who does not know how to control his emotions when he is not in control. But Sydney is just selfish to me smh “The Bear” is Carmen’s dream and he brings Sydney along because he never had a mentor other than Mikey Berzatto. But Sydney only sees herself and nobody else. I hate how ppl watch the show & take from it that Sydney is the best chef and person but she was very mean to Richie bringing up his daughter in their argument was DISGUSTING! Sydney takes advantage of Carmy’s fragile mental state & try to turn the restaurant into her own. Why the fuck would “The Beef” sell Cola-Braised Short Ribs and Risotto when they just making greasy ass beef sandwiches smh it’s weird and stupid!

ITS NOT ENOUGH TIME IN THE DAY FOR ME TO BREAK DOWN SYDNEY ADAMU’S CHARACTER NOW. SOON SHE WALKED IN THE DOOR OF “THE BEEF” SHE WAS DOING BOOK REPORTS LIKE CARMY DOESN’T SEE THE THINGS THAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGE! HE WAS ONLY THERE FOR 2 WEEKS BEFORE SYDNEY GOT THERE THO! 2 WEEKS HE WAS JUST TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT & GRIEVING BUT SYDNEY CAME IN & TOOK ADVANTAGE!

I’m not done ima do another analysis of SYDNEY ADAMU! I am so annoyed I hate how she is looked at as the Angel of the show when she is just ass shitty ass Carmen.

[leffee]

would you ever take request or prompts for LPS fan fictions

Welllll... that's a hard question. Cause like, I'm not opposed to it, and I have in fact done that before. I got two requests yaaay, and then... I never wrote them.

Well, I suppose that's not entirely true, I started writing for one of them, I actually wrote 4k words for it, and then I just got stuck. I still have it in my drafts, because I just don't know what to do with it next.

Second one admittedly I had too little info on and once I asked for more that anon never got back to me 😅 (most likely because it took me actual months to respond to that, more below).

Not to mention that I got to both of those cases after literal months of those requests sitting in my inbox because I just wasn't inspired enough for writing this specific thing, while in the meantime I wrote a lot of those Vinnie-centric fics. Soo yeaaaah.

In other words, I find it much easier to write what I want to write than what someone else tells me to unless it would so happen to be something I do find enjoyable to write. Nothing wrong with liking something I don't! You have your taste I have mine, but if I feel neutral about something it might take me ages to get to writing it.

If I were to take request from someone again they would have to be ready that it might take me actual months to write it (business + motivation being at play, especially if it's something I personally don't quite like as much), they would have to give me at least a somewhat detailed description of what they want so I actually know what to write (so no vague requests like that one from the aforementioned anon "truth or dare fic") plus there's always the thing that a person requesting might not even end up liking the way I wrote it.

Oh, and also if that someone would like it they'd have to tell me about it otherwise I'll think you hated it. I'm not saying you're this kind of anon, cause I have no idea who you are, kinda the point of being an anon haha, but from what I've seen with some of the anons it's all take, take and take, no giving.

I don't mean just myself but in general. Every time pris asked for requests a whole bunch of anon requests appeared in her inbox apparently immediately, but I don't think I have ever seen those anon/s thanking her, it's always just "draw this" or "draw that." She draws for free, I write for free, and the only ones who every time or most of the time comment on our stuff is ourselves. If you don't like it, sure, don't reblog/comment/whatever buy if you're asking me for a request I'm assuming you do. I write something you want and then get no response from you (not necessarily you you, anon, saying in general).

I honestly think that's cruel.

So in short: I'm not opposed to prompts, you can try sending them to me but ONLY if you took everything I just said into consideration and are fine with it.

[candyredmusings]

Mike’s Mic Appropriately Unhinged Recap Of Pretty Little Liars Sentence Starters.

I love this video series and I have nothing else to say for myself. May update more in time as I rewatch these videos. Feel free to change pronouns/whatever you need!

I need a cross. Where’s my crosses?

The girls are truly dropping like flies in this town.

[NAME] was addicted to speed.

[NAME] .... is gay!

[NAME] slept with her teacher.

[FULL NAME]. Felon. Felon. Felon. Jail. Prison.

The more layers you scratch the more issues there are so we’re not gonna scratch!

[FULL NAME] is not seeing heaven and I’ll make sure of it.

What were their names again? Glizzy. Slime Girl. Blob. And Eminem. 

Let me wear one other item of clothing, [NAME]!

[NAME] is very nice and gets along with everyone, so it’s not looking good for her ‘staying alive’ wise.

His irrelevance astounds me.

The way [NAME] was in the trenches with these crusty wigs.

[NAME] is getting increasingly shitty.

He’s largely a cringe flop.

This man is crusty I’m going to tear him a new one.

Look if you take away all the horrible, rude shit she says ... She’s an icon

Look, if I’m being honest ... That’s my bestie and she did nothing wrong. She was justified in everything that she did.

That’s my bestie and she did nothing wrong. She was justified in everything that she did.

She was justified in everything that she did.

It’s so ridiculous but it’s also just so fun if you ignore how dumb it is.

Let me move my bangs so I can read this properly.

Remember the boner phone?

Call off your techno-boytoy.

Call off your techno-boytoy or I’ll call the cops.

Someone needs to go to jail for this wig.

[NAME] minimized her slay.

Be your own techno-boytoy.

I know you wanna kisth me.

The person who has the stick gets to talk, and since I have the stick that means no more talking from you.

Why would I do this? Reason one is BECAUSE I WANT TOO!

As I was doing this and spending ridiculous amounts of hours on this and I was not getting bored I was like ‘I think something’s wrong.’

What happened here? We’ve had a casualty!

We’ve had a casualty!

If I say things like, ‘[NAME] you’re not seeing heaven’ ... It’s a joke!

[NAME] invented homophobia.

I’m doing you a public service. Slay!

Babe, just google it.

[NAME] felon of the century!

[NAME]! That’s my bestie right there!

[NAME] ... Truly a menace of the millennia.

Who plays lacrosse? 

[NAME], the crust lord of the millennium. 

[NAME]’s key traits are ‘fashionable, popular, and blonde.’

These girls love to sh-teal.

Gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous girls love SOUP.

*Coughs* liar. *Coughs* felon.

Call the ‘yass’ police!

Whoa, babe, we literally just met, and you’re already kissing me on the cheek?

This girlboss right here is the messiest. 

Put the blazers down!

*Sighs* This man ...

[NAME] is dating a crusty named [NAME].

[FIRST AND LAST NAME], key words is ‘rich’ ‘asshole’ ... But also a little bit slay.

She hates [NAME] because she’s underage and poor.

[NAME] can’t fight all three of these girlbosses.

You’re going to be SOO gooped and gagged, this isn’t even the start of it!

You’re going to be SOO gooped and gagged!

This crusty ass wig.

The hair looks like shit!

Crusty wigs is a key part of [NAME]’s personality.

[NAME] has came back from Weed Rehab camp.

Our girlboss [NAME] has done some digging.

She sleeps in eyeliner. She practically has eyeliner tattooed onto her eyelids.

I-CONIC LYRICISM! 

I do not condone this buffoonery. 

We’re not gonna find out anytime soon-- FORGEDABOUTIT.

Girl ... You hit her with a car!

[axolozzy]

vent (tw for extreme ablism transphobia and overall terrible stuff idek if i should even post this im sorry i just really need to vent i will probably delete this later)

y’all i’ve finally gotten comfortable vocal stimming in front of people im comfortable with like my friends and family and now my mom all of a sudden thinks im hearing voices or that i have “multiple personalities”????????* like no i promise nothings “going on” with me and j don’t need to see a mental health professional im just stimming because im happy. what the fuck

*also i’ve literally told her for YEARS that it’s called DID and talking in different voices does not fucking mean someone has “multiple personalities” because this has come up SOO fucking much over the years and i’m getting tired of explaining it. i repeat things in funny voices because it’s fun. i’ve done it my whole fucking life it’s called echolalia it’s called STIMMING and she doesn’t listen to me whenever i explain that

so much for being comfortable being myself around people. “you never used to act like this” BECAUSE I WAS SCARED!!!!! BECAUSE I HAD TERRIBLE ANXIETY AND DIDNT WANT TO BE JUDGED FOR BEING WEIRD!!!!!! my parents genuinely think there’s something severely wrong with me now. they literally told me that. because i meow sometimes as a vocal stim. and so do LITERALLY ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND PEOPLE AT SCHOOL. PEOPLE IN CLASS TALK IN WEIRD VOICES AND MAKE ANIMAL NOISES TOO ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!!!!! ITS NOT FUCKING SERIOUS!!!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

i’m genuinely so fucking tired of this god who fucking gives a shit of im weird. i’ve been like this my whole life its not my fuckign fault that you didn’t pay attention and don’t remember. FUCK

my step dad’s a fucking dick too i genuinely hate him so fucking much i cant fucking take it anymore. NO!!!! IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH YOU BECAUSE IT MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE AS FUCK. “why” because im autistic. “that’s not an excuse” yes it fucking is bitch its literally a symptom of fucking autism. no i AM going to keep calling myself autistic because thats what i am. no its not “putting a label on myself” because im actually fucking diagnosed autistic im not going to pretend it doesnt exist. because i fucking exist. im not going to “beat” my autism by suppressing all of my autistic traits because you want me to. “why?” DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF???????

and this guy worked in mental health for 17 years. he worked at a psychiatric hospital for 17 years. he never went to college or learned anything about mental health at all. he thinks he knows more than me about my fucking disability when he says the most outdated offensive shit ive ever heard about autism or DID or schizophrenia. he doesnt listen to a word i say because he’s “older than me and has more life experience” and therefore he automatically “knows more than me and im wrong.” he doesnt listen to anyone actually. he literally says to people not to correct him when he’s wrong because he doesnt like being told he’s wrong to being told what to do or think. he’s “not going to change his beliefs for anyone” even if he knows his “beliefs” are literally just fucking factually wrong or actively harmful. he purposely makes people feel like shit if they stand up for themselves against him. he purposely makes me feel like shit because im the only one in this fucking houses that dares to disagree with the shit he says. he’s a republican he’s obsessed with trump and blasts conservative transphobic racist news channels on the tv right outside my room at night so it keeps me awake and doesnt turn the tv down when i ask because apparently he has hearing problems but has never once got that checked out. he deadnames me and says “because of his adhd he’s not sure he’ll ever remember to use the right name so he’s not even gonna try.” and he says he loves and supports me but is constantly saying the most ableist transphobic shit to me and says he’s just giving me a hard time because he loves me. he has said on multiple occasions with a straight face that “fat people piss him off and they’re the one type of people that he doesnt feel bad for being outwardly hateful and discriminatory towards.” he tries to make me feel guilty for not believing in god. he’s anti abortion. he doesnt want me to get gender affirming care under his roof because he thinks its weird and disgusting and doesnt want me to get a dick even though i have told him a million fucking times i never want bottom surgery and i dont know why this is any of his fucking business anyway. he constantly tells me my online friends aren’t real friends and when he knows i love talking to them he purposely turns the wifi off. he asks me why im acting so weird and i say its how ive always acted alone and with my friends and im just being myself and he says “stop acting like that.” “why. im not going to change who i am for other people.” “well i want you to around me.” KILL YOURSELF IM SO FUCKING SERIOUS. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH

he’s a manipulative bastard and whenever we get into arguments, SOME FUCKING HOW a few hours later were happy and forgiving eachother and im the one saying sorry. he’s an asshole to me and everyone around him, he’s an asshole to my mom. they are constantly fighting but always deny it. i cant fucking take it anymore

sorry for this vent i know people dont follow me to know about my personal life i know i shouldnt say this stuff but i dont fucking care im so sick of this. i woke up this mornign feeling more excited happy and motivated than i have felt all week and it was ruined the second my mom came in my room saying that the way i act (my literal vocal stims) make her think there’s something severely wrong with me. i love her more than anything in the world she’s the best mom ever but what the actual fuck??????? anyway i hate my stepdad and even though i dont believe in hell i hope he fucking burns

[ma-lark-ey]

So I did this with Harry Potter, I’m working on doing it with Mortal Instruments. Only fair I do it with Grishaverse trilogy as well.

Will I read the novellas? Lol no probably not. Am I having a bopping time with the main series? Yeah. It’s good distraction of being a trans high schooler in America right now.

Here’s what I knew going in:

Nothing! I knew it was connected to Six of Crows and set up the fantasy better so I was recommended to read it first so I DID. i had no idea about ANY of this plot.

Spoilers for all of Shadow & Bone trilogy. I have thoughts <<3

1.) Shadow & Bone ( 24/3/23-27/3/23 )

(8/10)

I really liked this first book !! I wasn’t particularly. Attached to any one character but I will say that I fell for the Darkling hook line and sinker.

Alina is. Alina? I don’t hate her. I don’t love her. I think she’s a pretty basic main character, she’s definitely not my favourite mc ever. I think she’s certainly the right fit here, I know some books I read and go “this main character is NOT for this” but Alina !! She works.

I think this book could’ve been more interesting if Alina, rather than being like “the chosen one” was the kind of person who decided to make themself the chosen one. Does that make sense?

All this critique makes it sound like I hated this book, I think it’s genuinely really wonderful and totally worth it’s hype. I made playlists for this book. Like not just my standard “title - author” playlist. I’ve got playlists for Alina and the Darkling and Nikolai (WE’LL GET TO HIM.)

2.) Siege & Storm (27/3/23-30/3/23)

(7/10)

This book IS GOOD. im going to say that because I did enjoy. Almost all of this.

I think Mal and Nikolai’s little. Whatever that was. Was so funny and I think that so many problems could be avoided if they just had a little kiss. Throuple it up baby. Alina has two hands. Also Mal you’re DOWN BAD for the prince and we can ALL tell.

I LOOOOVED the pirate arc. Obsessed with it. Gobbled it down. It was SOO good. Love pirates. Love Sturmhond not taking the Darklings shit. Love the fact that none of these people take any of the grishas shit.

LOVED ALINA PUNCHING HIM.

i think Alina and Nikolai and Alina and Mal are both equally good endgames honestly. I wouldnt be mad with either. But IDEALLY they’re all holding hands and making out. I am PUSHING the Nikolai/Mal agenda. I am FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE.

The ending was mid. I didnt like it very much. I think the Darkling STILL SURVIVING was BULL.

And if NIKOLAI IS DEAD I WILL NOT FINISH RUINS AND RISING. I WONT

especially if we get a Darkling redemption arc like I think we might be.

I literally. Nikolai and the twins? I’d die for them. Alina and Mal can die and I wouldn’t mourn but if ANYTHING HAPPENS TO MY PIRATES I’M RUINED.

Be back when I finish R&R.

3.) Ruins & Rising (30/3/23–5/4/23)

8/10

My vow going into this book was that I’d be happy is Nikolai lived. I had so much faith. SO MUCH FAITH!! For 240 pages!! I was a FOOL!!! I was a stupid optimist who thought my lovely little princeling would get to live a happy life!! I was rooting for them !!

I WAS WRONG !!! Death is too good for our Nikolai even though he’s literally never done anything wromg EVER !!

Hi guys. This man ^^ up there?? In those paragraphs ^^ he was in the agonies.

Me? ME NOW? Me who just finished Ruins & Rising and is living my best life holding my babygirl? I’m thriving.

I. Literally. Texted my mate who had read this series and said “Does Nikolai get a happy ending yes or mo I’m dnfing if he doesnt. I cant do this.” And GUYS!!

He’s KING!!! KOROL REZNI!!!! My BOY!!

He is baby girl.

You know I COULD talk about how Alina’s relationship with the Darkling is very good portrayal of grooming victims/codependent relationships and I could go into how Mal’s whole deal was batshit in the best way or how Tamar is the love of my life. But this isn’t a book review.

This is Lark. Being gay. For the bastard pirate harpy prince boy. On main. I will NEVER be normal about him. I’m holding him like a soaked cat after a bath. Dont you love him.

Anyways yeah not doing a post mortum on every book like I did with HP bc I have no further tjoughts on any of the other books.

Stan Nikolai Lantsov, haters be SILENCED. I’ve heard that he has his own book and I??? Society isnt ready for me when I read that.

I would’ve liked to know what Alina and Mal changed their names to. Thats all I can think of in my hazy mess of Nikolai thoughts.

Also in my perfect world they’re in a throuple. Maybe Tolya is in there and its a polycule but its MUCH funnier if he’s acearo and covers for their stupid asses all the time and is SO annoyed by his king and his kings girlfriend and his kings boyfriend.

Thank you. That is all.

Time to go start Six of Crows so my little sister can get off my back about Kaz <<3

[oh-holy-slut]

Bloodlust

Pairing: Damon Salvatore x fem!reader

Warnings: smut, explicit language, blood sharing, mentions of death, oral sex

Word Count: 2,6k

Summary: Stefan forced Damon to try his animal diet. Damon hated it, but didn't had a choice... until Reader makes a suggestion. Suddenly things get steamy.

Being with Damon was complicated. Him and Y/N have seen each other a lot in the past weeks. The two of them had a lot of fun; saw a lot of movies. Actually, Y/N was sure Damon secretly hated many of those. However, anytime Y/N suggested another dramatic, romantic cliché movie like "Last Song" - the vampire groaned, put his arm around her shoulder, let her head rest on his chest and endured every single second of the movie of her choice.

Damon even flirted and teased Y/N here and there, but didn't lead to anything more intimate so far.

Today was another of those days. Y/N stuck around at the Salvatore boarding house, brought a few of Damon's favorite groceries and a bunch of movies, of which she thought that they will suit his taste. Even if they were a little to bloody and brutal in her opinion.

"Pick one!", she demanded, holding all three Blu-ray sleeves in front of him. Damon just shrugged, not bothering to even look.

"Don't be a killjoy, Damon Salvatore!" Y/N sighed.

"Tell me what's wrong or pick a movie. You've got no choice. And besides that... Which number of drink is this?" Y/N frowned, pointing at the liquor in her friends hand. Damon usually consumed his beloved bourbon with pleasure.

But the man on the couch didn't seem pleasured at all. His facial features totally hardened and a look in his eyes like he was ready to rip someone's heart out.

You put the disc's back in your handbag, closing the zipper and put the bag on the floor.

"Fine. No movie night today. Who are we going to kill?"

A small smirk appeared on Damon's lips, finally looking towards Y/N.

"Stefan and his hero hair. He made me go vegetarian... well, for a vampire... and I can't get myself to eat one of those chipmunks, bunnies or bambis." He shook himself with disgust.

"And why did he count you in? You clearly aren't excited about the changing... So, why did you agree?"

"He said, he would kill me, which is kinda funny. But-" Damon made a wide gesture "he stole my daylight ring. And he wouldn't give it back until I stop feeding on innocent people - and kill them."

"So, you truly let your younger brother blackmail you like that?! Wow... I don't know how to feel about your dieting or your new path. Or whatever this is supposed to be."

"You don't like me killing people either", Damon maintained, while taking another sip of bourbon.

"Well, I don't", Y/N agreed, took a step forward, stole the glass from the vampires hand and put it on a small table nearby. "But I don't believe in forcing as a method to get people to change their minds. I believe that change for the better must be an intrinsic motivation," she added quickly, giving the vampire an innocent smile.

Damon's lineaments suddenly turned from annoyed to curious. "Any suggestions, little one?" The vampire raised an eyebrow and a little smirk showed up on his lips. On the one hand, Y/N blushed over the nickname, Damon called her.  On the other hand she felt skittish looking forward to making a deal with him. Not only a deal. It's far more than a simple agreement.

It's Y/N, actually giving Damon a part of her. The red elixir of life. She was about to give him total control of her body and she not even for a heartbeat doubt that Damon will use it against her.

"Actually... Yeah. There's something on my mind." Y/N said chewing on your lip. "I could open up a vein for you. I mean, you could feed on me. And since you have my permission, there's nothing for anybody to have objection about."

Damon frowned and gave her an incredulous look. "You would do that for me?" The vampire couldn't believe, he understood correctly. Why would Y/N want to get involved with him feeding on her? What's in it for her? Damon tried hard to connect the dots, but he wasn't able to. It all seemed to make no sense. Y/N wouldn't have an advantage of that. The vampire hesitated, pinning his dangerously blue eyes on the girl in front of him.

"Is it so suspicious of me, that I'm trying to help my closest friend?" It pierced Y/N's heart, realizing, Damon's trust in her was rather fragile. "Never mind", she waved the pain away and forced herself to keep her composure. "I only had a hasty idea; you really don't need to fee-"

Suddenly Damon appeared behind Y/N, using his vampirism. "Shhhh", he whispered softly. "I never said, that I don't want your blood. I'm thinking about if we are going to cross a line? Blood sharing can be very personal..."

"It can be? It is personal already. Believe it or not - I'm not gonna offer my veins to all the vampires of Mystic Falls." Y/N rolled her eyes, her arms folded on her chest to point out the indignation she felt right now.

"Kinda sensitive today, huh?" Damon gently stroke a strand of hair behind her ear, Y/N could hear this smug smirk through his words. It was a true 'Damon thing' to do. "I didn't mean it like that, princess." He sighed; unsure if he should agree or not. Damon didn't want to act selfish towards Y/N. He compelled a lot of girls for the purpose of drinking blood in the past. He literally used them as long as they weren't too annoying - and then he acted like they have never met. Damon Salvatore couldn't imagine this scenario with Y/N. They've been so close, the vampire couldn't stand loosing her. The offer was risky, but it also could bring each other even closer.

Damon tried hard to avoid any serious attraction between Y/N and him, afraid of messing up. Indeed, he found himself thinking, and even dreaming, about Y/N more than he wanted to admit. She was smart and had this special sense of humor, the vampire adored so much. She was the only one, who could make him feel good no matter what. Needless to say she had that glimmer in her eyes, when she did something she truly loved. In these moments she was even more pretty. Y/N was hard to resist.

And maybe now he could have her like nobody else. At least the vampire gave in. He wanted her blood. He wanted her.

Y/N flinched by the feeling of Damon brushing her neck with his lips.  "Oh, Damon", she gasped. "Bite me." Y/N almost begged for the vampire's teeth breaking through her skin. Damon loved the sound of her husky voice. In less than a heartbeat he turned into his vampire shape. "If you insist", he grinned devilishly, ready to place his teeth on to her skin.

Suddenly Y/N made a slight move forward with the intention to interrupt her friend. "Did you change your mind?" Damon was close to switching back to human, overwhelmed by a mix of emotions. Mostly a lack of understanding, but also a little of disappointment and even anger. Was Y/N playing games on him? While Damon Salvatore was sorting feelings, Y/N turned around, standing now in front of him.

She was so close, not even a piece of paper would fit between them.

Y/N slightly exhaled breath, her eyes darting between the vampires eyes and lips. It was the first time Y/N saw him like this. The icy blue of his eyes, she loved so much, has turned darker. Purple veins appeared under his eyes; Y/N couldn't help herself. Damon's appearance fully intoxicated every fibre of her being. Her fingertips found their way gently brushing over his dark purple veins. She felt heat and softness, while tracing one of them.  It took her a few seconds to get out of trance, realizing what she had done. "Sorry", she murmured with a voice barely audible. "Don't apologize, little one." Damon tilted his head, his lips curled up in a self-assured grin, exposing a perfectly white vampire fang. "I never saw you like this before, you loo-"

"... look like a monster?"

Y/N shook her head. It was nothing like that. Yes, he did look unfamiliar. And she should be scared under normal conditions. Instead, his look hit her in an unexpected way. He looked hotter as a vampire, if it was even possible. 

Y/N cleared her throat, looking up at Damon. "I feel... attracted to you."

"So nothing's changed", Damon teased, raising his eyebrows. The girl in front of him softly slapped him on his shoulder; which was only possible because the vampire permitted. "You are always so full of yourself." She smirked, feeling more confident being to something, they have had been so many times before. Granted, he was terrifying accurate, but she wouldn't serve her feelings on a silver platter.

"I'm still into it. You can bite me; feed on me. I only needed to see you before..." 

A shockwave of electricity flowed through her body the second Damon took her hand and pulled her close.

"I'll be careful", he promised, nuzzling his head into the nap of her neck. Damon once again placed his lips on her soft skin. 

Suddenly a harsh pain made Y/N feel like in a kind of haze. She flinched and let out a groan at the same time, unintentionally biting her lower lip. 

During Damon embedded his fang deeper and deeper, she started feeling dizzy. Her hands searched for the vampires upper body, finally wrapped around his neck. She needed him to lean on. A narrow trickle of blood flowed down her neck. Let Damon feed on her felt like flames licking up every fiber of her body. 

With every passing second Y/N could feel her control slip away. Her body was now firmly pressed against Damon's, like she would want to merge them into one.

Damon noticed her staggering, wrapped his arms around her waist, supporting her.

Bloodlust already messed up the vampires mind, so he continued feeding on Y/N.

A tempting moan escaped her lips, but she didn't care to cover up. Y/N's heart was racing, her eyes flattering. It was almost as if he was about to push her over the edge, but in a different way. "Mmm, this...this… feels soo weird... and so good...", she whispered under a shallow breath.

As soon as Damon heard her fading voice, he abruptly

quitted drinking from her.

"Fuck!" He rapidly laid her on his lap and checked Y/N's vital signs, to make sure she was okay. Instinctively he bit his wrist, pressed it against Y/N's mouth. He knew his blood would heal her, but it wasn't going fast enough. A few seconds passed through, to him they felt like centuries. Y/N finally blinked and Damon was relieved. He cupped her cheeks, his gaze never leaving hers. "I thought, I'd gone-" Damon cleaned his throat. "I'm so glad, you are doing well", he whispered, while trailing her lips with his fingertips. "So, fuckin' glad..." The vampire exhaled a deep breath. 

"It... You made me feel good. Strange, but good", Y/N appeased and flushed over the memory. "Maybe you got a little carried away, but I don't mind. I wouldn't trade the feeling for anything."

Y/N quickly interrupted herself, before she could reveal too much.

However, Damon used his vampire skills, noticing that Y/N was hiding something from him. "Isn't there anything else you want me to know?", Damon asked without taking his eyes off her. Y/N shifted and flushed even more. "It's unfair. You use your vampirism to get everything out of me."

"Well, if that were the case, I could easily compel you." Damon shrugged and found back to his smugly self. "Tell me, what you are hiding". He said in a seductive voice.

"I wanted to get lost in you."

Her confession sent shivers all over the vampires body. At first he could not decide, how to handle this. "Are you sure that's what you want? I could really hurt you..." Y/N hummed.

In the next split second, Damon pinned Y/N against a wall, smashing his lips on hers, kissing her with all the passion he had to give. The vampire devoured Y/N with a new kind of hunger. He didn't know he could crave someone so much.

"Fuck me, Damon..."

The vampire felt him getting hard, only by hearing those little three words out of her mouth.

"Say it louder. Tell me, what you want me to do."

Y/N pulled him closer, gently biting his earlobe.

"Fuck... me, Damon." It took her a second to focus and forming the words again. After she was near to climax earlier, it wasn't a long way getting to the edge once more. "Make me cum... You almost had me there..."

A deep moan got over the vampires lips, once he understood, what Y/N was trying to tell him.

With the next blink Y/N found herself in Damon's bedroom, lying on his bed.

From now on there weren't many words needed. Damon's hand's found their way under her shirt, cupping her breasts and make her moan over and over again.

He closely listened to the rhythm of her heart, making sure he would be able to delay her climax to the point he needed her to.

"Don't cum yet... I want to taste your little pussy first."

Y/N grabbed the vampires head, running her fingers through his dark hair - pushing him down, since she was unable to form a single word.

As Damon got down, he didn't take his eyes off Y/N.

He used a hand pushing up her skirt and lightly stroking over her panties with his fingertips.

"My girl is so wet", he praised in a low husky voice."-and I barely touched you."

His dirty words in combination with his touch lead to another moan, almost turned into a scream.

Damon pushed the fabric aside, leaving sloppy kisses on the inside of her thighs.

Y/N's eyes fluttered, when his soft lips reached her middle.

Damon's tongue licking around her entrance was driving her nuts.

"...so delicious..." were the only words she was able to catch up. Damon knew, he couldn't thrill her forever, so he got back to her. He spit on his palms, stroking his hand over his crotch. In under a second Y/N finally felt this releasing pressure of his cock. It was like a switch went off in her brain and she braced herself for the hard thrusts that would follow.

Damon dimmed the whining noises Y/N made with a passionate, hungry kiss.

He cheated with his vampirism to give it to her deeper and faster, knocking out all the air of her lungs while Y/N screamed out Damon's name. Her walls clenched around him and made him twitch. It was like her pussy massaged his dick the best way possible.

Every time he hit her harder and rougher he was making sure he hit her spot with every thrust.

Damon gathered speed one last time and pushed her over the edge until she was a moaning whimpering mess.

With her last contraction around his shaft, Damon was cumming inside her.

"You are so tight, little one", he whispered under his breath. "We should make arrangements more often."

Please like or/and reblog if you enjoyed reading or/and want me to write more stories about Damon.

Thanks guys ❤️

[wenellyb]

My journey in the MCU fandom on Tumblr: Sharing my thoughts on the Falcon and the Winter Soldier, racism in the MCU fandom and the best and the worse of the fandom

I wasn’t going to write this much but here I am… I don’t even know where I’m going with this but since The Falcon and the Winter Soldier just recently came out, I wanted to share some thoughts.

I joined Tumble because of a show I loved but most of you don’t know it “ Hit the Floor”

I stayed on Tumblr for two reasons only, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan.

Before the Captain America:Civil War premiere, a friend sent me the link to the Sebastian and Anthony ET interview, and I was hooked. In just one interview. I discovered Anthony Mackie. The guy was hilarious!!! I just couldn’t get enough and I knew I had to know more about him. How could he improvise so many funny lines on the spot? He was just amazing.

I had pretty much watched all the avengers movie but that was it. I was not involved in the fandom. So I knew Sam Wilson’s face, but I couldn’t even remember his name if my life depended on it. That’s how much the MCU treated him as a side character.

I was like how the f*ck don’t I know this guy?

His talent reminded me of Eddie Murphy, Jim Carrey or Robin Williams, like yes they can make some emotional or serious movies, but when they want to make you laugh, you will laugh. Whether you want it or not.  I kept wondering how this guy wasn’t more famous.

And the banter with Sebastian Stan? Wow, you could tell their friendship was strong, the way Sebastian lighted up when Anthony was talking, and keep bouncing off his jokes. It was art. the way Sebastian said “ I love you” at the end of the interview. Pure gold.

I then started to watch some of the interviews and boy was that a mistake!!! I literally couldn’t get enough. So I watched all and I say all their interviews, it was the best. We got some gems:

“Why aren’t you looking at me as much”

“Which way is the beach Seabass”

*Them saying nonsense in Spanish and then Sebastian Saying Papi Chulo*

 ¨And so many more, ....

I watched other solo Anthony interviews and he was still HILARIOUS, but you could also tell he felt a little bit more at ease with Sebastian around. I won’t pretend I know him or his personality, but Sebastian seems like a little bit more of an introvert and looks like he doesn’t enjoy the interview experience unless Anthony id around him. Just my thoughts

I watched the interviews before I went to see the movie, I even cosplayed as the Winter Soldier to the movie premiere and I was IN!!! When I saw Captain America Civil War, I became a SamBucky shipper, these two were hilarious and I really so the potential for a great realtionship I love enemy to lovers stories.

I also shipped Stucky because, to me, the trope of the movie was Superhero gives up everything to protect his long term friend” Hollywood movies have some codes and if Bucky were a female character, there is no doubt in my mind that the movie would have been marketed as romance.

Stucky really was an easy ship! But then the MCU fandom of Tumblr fandom messed up everything for me. You see I really liked the CACW and I I liked Stucky, I liked Sambucky, and I loved the introduction of t’Challa’s character, but one of things that affected me the most in the movie was that it was the first blockbuster I watched with 3 black main characters, Rhodey, Sam and T’Challa. That, and the fact that they were planning to realease a Black Panther movie in two years, I was super excited, and that’s the main reason I got involved in the MCU fandom so much, when before, I was just a casual watcher.

If this seem weird to you, then you have no idea how we were only getting crumbs before. For me it was soo huge, I even told all my friends, and they were laughing at me. But usually blockbusters, especially superhero movies get one black character and that’s it, usually the best friend or something and never the leads. So, for me it really was a big deal. How sad is that by the way…

I became more involved in the fandom and, at first, I wasn’t focusing on anything special, Sambucky, Stucky, Stackie, the Black Panther, and even Zemo, whose character I really liked.

But soon I noticed that the CACW tags were always flooded, and I mean flooded with the same two white characters: Steve and Bucky. I told myself, ok that’s fine Steve is the lead after all, but it would be good to see the other characters too.

And then I noticed another interesting trend: Evanstan…. Wait what?

Chris Evans, and Sebastian Stan… did I miss something? Listen, obviously I’m sure they must be friends or something, but you’re going to tell me you watch all MCU the actors and you’re going to focus on Steve and Sebastian? I’m sorry what?

Sebastian and Anthony are right there… Or Chris and Anthony, they even have a secret handshake, only the 2 of them do… what more do you want?

Tell me one iconic Evanstan moment… go ahead tell me… See??? There isn’t.

Because of this and because of how badly some Stuckies were treating Sam and Anthony. I became less and less of a stucky shipper . I mainly focused on SamBucky, Stackie and the Black Panther,

And then the Sebastian Stan stans saw how popular Stackie, Sambucky, were becoming and I started to see some problematic stuff in our fandom too.

I don’t want to generalize, but when you go into the Stackie tag, and you see cropped pictures of Sebastian without Anthony, it’s easy to assume that a Sebastian fan did that. And we know damn well you cropped out Anthony because we watched all Stackie interviews and know exactly which interview your picture was taken from. We know that Anthony was sitting right next to Seb.

You post a picture of Sebastian laughing but you crop out the person who was making him laugh??

“but it has nothing to do with race” How do you know that?

“Sebastian had more screen time” More screen time than Anthony in CATWS or CACW? I don’t think so.

“I have been a fan of Sebastian for longer”, that’s fine but don’t go out cropping Anthony, just post gifs of Seb in his usual, sad, and Anthony-less interviews, not the ones where he’s smiling because his best friend is next to him.

Some of you really are the worst. And just so you know, your fave Sebastian is Anthony’s biggest fan, if he saw pictures where you cropped out Anthony, he would block you on the spot.

When I realized that Anthony Mackie would be the next Captain America I was screaming, no actually, I was crying, Sam Wilson will be Captain America, and Anthony would finally get the recognition he deserves.

You would think that the MCU fandom would focus on Captain America or at least one the two leads, instead of just Sebastian? Right? Right? WRONG.

Anthony is handsome, he’s funny, he’s a great actor, he went to freaking Julliard, he’s at the top, I don’t see what else the man can do??? He should already be a superstar, but no, you will side-line him even to he is the lead of the show.

Even when they are the actual leads, you guys would do anything to bring up the White characters even if it means ignoring the Black characters.

I remember I was having a conversation about Black Panther with my friends and I asked one of my white friends who was his favorite character in BP was and he told me Martin Freeman (don’t even remember his name in the movie) Martin Freaking Freeman, there are half a dozen of great characters and your fave is the only white man??? Ok, ok, that’s great.

Don’t give out automatic reply like “It has nothing to do with race, if you haven’t thought about it first”, because there’s a high probability that it is indeed about race. Stop saying it isn’t, sit down and ask yourself, “Am I biased?” “Why am I reblogging only stuff related to the white characters”.

One of these days you guys are going to make me hate Sebastian with the sh*t you are pulling.

I looove the Stackie friendship and the Sambucky dynamic but after seeing the way some of you treat Anthony and Sam’s character, it make me want to focus on Sam’s character and forget about the rest.

 I remember they were some posts about how Anthony was problematic, and I just lost it. Apparently, there was an old article that resurfaced were Anthony was making a joke about women making sandwiches or something.

If you were offended by the sandwich joke, that is totally ok, and I can understand that.

But if you were offended by the sandwich joke, and saying Anthony is problematic BUT you still stan Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, ScarJo or even Sebastian Stan, just know that there is a high probability you’re racist.

They have all said or done problematic stuff, and people only seem to remember stuff related to Anthony, which was probably just a joke by the way.

Chris Evans and Jeremy called Black widow a wh*re, ScarJo took roles that she maybe shouldn’t have and I didn’t forget Sebastian shady Instagram post, when Kaepernick was kneeling. There are so many more things to be said about Jeremy Renner but google is your friend.

Anthony also got hate for hating on Tom Holland? Like what? Do you guys even hear yourselves? Don’t you have any friends you like to tease? If you hate someone, do you go around talking about him every chance you get? It was obviously friendly banter but some people wanted to turn it into something it was not. Sigh.

I really cannot with this fandom

 The stackie fandom was small at the beginning and the Sambucky fandom even smaller, but we were there and it was amazing. Sebastian and Anthony received the same amount of love from the fandom and I wish we could go back to those days.

Stop pretending the fandom isn’t racist. Stop saying “it isn’t about race” when you haven’t even thought about.

Saying “it has nothing to do with race” only shows that you haven’t thought about anything but don’t want to be called a racist.

There is racism in this fandom and it will always be there, but if you guys want to do anything about it, you have to acknowledge it first.

You can’t be pulling off stuff like “I don’t see colors”, “ it has nothing to do with race”. Stop, sit down, think about it and then we can have a conversation.

If you’ve made it till the end, I apologize for the typos and grammar mistakes, I wasn’t planning on writing this much.

[nowandajenn]

Blue Christmas- Eight

Pairing: Chris Evans/OC Kelly

Summary: After almost three years of marriage, everyone would tell you that Chris and his wife Kelly are the most stable, solid couple they know. But behind closed doors, things are tense as they keep trying for a baby, to no avail. When a secret threatens to shake their solid marriage to it’s core, will they be able to pick up the pieces?

I do not consent to have my content, whether it be this story or anything else of my creation, posted by a third party on any other platform other than right here without my permission. This blog is 18+ and is not intended for minors. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Heed the warnings.

Warnings: mentions of cheating, smut, language, angst, mentions of miscarriage. If any of this is triggering to you, do not read. 

A/N: This is going to be very dialogue heavy, and will have flashbacks of the night that Chris cheated and everything that happened. Flashbacks will be in italics. Just a warning, this chapter is a BEAST. There’s a lot to unpack, and it’s going to be super emotional. 

December 29

Chris watches from his seat in the comfortable leather recliner in our living room as I twist my wedding and engagement rings around on my finger. It’s a nervous little habit that I do without even really realizing it or thinking about it. A million thoughts cross his mind as he sits silently, waiting for me to say something. 

After taking a few deep breaths to try and steel myself for the conversation that I KNOW that Chris and I need to have, I finally look up from the floor and at him. 

“Do you want a divorce?” Okay, the thousand different times I pictured this conversation happening in my head, that was definitely NOT one of the ways. Apparently my mouth and brain aren’t communicating very well today. 

Chris looks up at me, his expression aghast. 

“Wha-.......” he tries to speak, but is too stunned to even form the words. 

“Is that why you cheated? You don’t want to be with me anymore, so you went somewhere else for whatever is it that you weren’t getting from me?”

“No! Jesus Christ, no! I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. I can’t imagine my life without you. No, I don’t want a divorce.” he tells me. 

“Okay, if that’s not it, then you have to help me out here. Because I don’t understand what possible reason you could have for cheating. It had to be something that I did. Or something I didn’t do. I need you to tell me what happened. Because until I have all the facts and I understand what the hell happened, we can’t move forward.” 

He sits forward in the chair and sighs. 

“What do you want me to tell you?” 

“I want you to tell me what happened that night after we FaceTimed. I want to know what happened between then and the next morning.” I tell him. 

“You KNOW what happened.” he says miserably. 

I shake my head. “No, I know the end result. I want you to walk me through every single thing that happened that night. Everything you were thinking, everything you did.”

“Why? What good is that going to do? What’s the goddamn point? How is me telling you everything that happened going to help ANYTHING? All it’s going to do is hurt you more, and I can’t do that. I won’t.”

“The point is, if we have even the smallest hope of getting through this intact, with our MARRIAGE intact, I need to understand this. I need to know. I need to know, because when I go to sleep at night, all I can see in my head is all the things that I imagine happened that night. And I need to know if what actually happened is better or worse than what I can imagine happened. I have a right, as your wife, to know what you did.” 

Chris looks up, silently pleading with you to not make him do this, but he knows that you’re right. You do deserve to know, even if it’s going to devastate you. 

“After we got off the phone, I had to go right back into interviews and there was two more photo calls we had to do, so by the time we got done it was about 7:30 that night. I was distracted the whole time. I hated that we fought, and I felt like an asshole, and I just wanted to call you back and apologize, but I didn’t have time. Plus, I figured that we both probably needed a little bit of time to cool down. I told myself that I was going to call you that night before I went to bed so we could talk more and I could apologize to you. We all got out of there, and Cate and Robert and the rest of them wanted to go to dinner, so we came back to the hotel, changed, and then went out to eat.” Chris tells me. 

“What time did you get back from dinner?” 

“Around 10, I think. It couldn’t have been much later than that. Everyone else was talking about going out and finding a bar or a club to go to, but I just wanted to come back to the hotel and relax. I wasn’t in the mood to be around a lot of people.” 

I pull my feet up on the couch and tuck them under me. 

“Okay, so you got back to the hotel, and then what did you do?” 

For as tired as he was, Chris couldn’t relax. He tried taking a hot shower, laying in bed watching TV, browsing social media, and flipping through pictures on his phone. Finally, after about 45 minutes and getting more and more keyed up and anxious, he decides to go down to the hotel bar. 

When he walks in, the place is empty except for an older couple seated down at the end and the bartender. Chris slides himself onto one of the stools and the bartender makes her way over to him. 

“Thank God. A friendly face.” she says with a smile. 

Chris glances down the bar at the couple. “They seem pretty friendly.” he remarks. 

“Yeah, but they’ve been here for an hour and they’re literally babying their drinks, and aren’t much for conversation that doesn’t involve each other. I’m bored out of my mind.” 

She stick her hand out. “I’m Jo.”

Chris reaches across the bar and shakes her hand with his own. “Chris. Nice to meet you.”

“So, Chris, what’s your poison?”

“What was her name?” I ask him. He just referred to her as “the bartender” and “she”. 

He runs his hand down his face and over his beard. 

“I don’t......I honestly can’t remember. It was one of those boys names for a girl. You know.....Alex or Max or James.......I don’t......I can’t remember.” 

I cover my face with my hands and take a deep breath. I want to scream already, and he’s not even deep into the story. I shake my head slightly. 

“You slept with this girl, and you don’t even remember her NAME.” I say softly. 

Chris hangs his head. 

“Keep going.” 

She pours him another measure of whiskey, along with a shot for herself. They clink glasses and swallow the amber liquid, letting it burn it’s way down. 

“So what did you and your wife fight about?” she asks him. 

Chris sighs. 

“It’s......it’s complicated.”

“Hey, I’m a bartender, which means that I’m a really great listener. It’s practically a job requirement. You might feel better if you talk about it.” 

“We’re trying to have a baby.”

“Soo....what’s the problem. Trying is the fun part!” 

“We’ve been trying for a year and a half almost, and nothing’s happening. She’s perfect; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her that would keep her from getting pregnant, but it’s just not happening. And we both want a baby so bad, and the look on her face when......it fucking kills me.” 

He knows that he shouldn’t be telling a complete stranger all of this, especially considering who he is, but the alcohol has loosened his tongue, and if he doesn’t spill his guts to someone, he’s going to explode. 

Jo puts a soft, warm hand over his. 

“I’m sorry, That has to be tough. For both of you.” she says softly. 

“I mean, I guess I never thought that it would take actual work, you know? I assumed that ‘hey, if we just keep having sex, eventually she’s going to get pregnant’ and it would be easy. She’s getting scared and fed up and talking about adoption and fertility doctors, and I hate seeing her so stressed out and upset, and I kind of just.....I said some things and made it worse and I feel like a complete fucking jackass.” 

“What if you guys can’t have kids?” 

“As much as I want to have kids with her, I don’t need them to be happy. As long as I have Kelly in my life, I’ll be perfectly happy. Do I want to be a dad? Yeah, absolutely. But there are so many kids out there that need good homes, so there are other options, but I don’t think that we’re there yet, you know?”

I get up and storm out of the room with Chris right on my heels. 

“Kelly, wait, please.....”

He touches my arm and I spin around to face him, and the look in my eyes makes him fall back a step. 

I’m so pissed off and hurt right now I could spit nails. 

“You......you told her.....EVERYTHING. You told her.....EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING, Chris! Do you even......do you even fucking understand what you did? Like.....” 

I squat down close to the floor and put my head between my knees. My heart is pounding and I’m so worked up that I’m afraid I’m going to pass out if I don’t calm down. And I’m not going anywhere or doing anything until I get the whole damn story. 

“Look, I know-” 

I look up at him incredulously. 

“No! No, you don’t know! You don’t know shit! You fucking betrayed me, in every single sense of the word. You didn’t just fuck her, you told her, a complete stranger, about me. About us trying to have a baby. You told her about things that you never even fucking bothered to tell me! Do you realize that she could go to the press? She could go and spill all of these juicy little secrets that you spilled to her over shots of Jack and have herself a nice little pay day.”

“Kelly, you wanted to know what happened that night, so I’m telling you what happened, despite everything inside of me screaming at me not to. I’m not going to lie to you or keep things from you. You wanted to know everything.” Chris says. 

I squeeze my eyes shut and grit my teeth so hard that my jaw hurts. 

“I can’t look at you right now. I need a break.” I tell him, grabbing my jacket. I grab Dodger’s leash off the peg in the hallway and call for him. 

Dodger trots over, tongue lolling out of his mouth, happy to be going on a walk. 

“I’ll be back in a while.” 

Forty five minutes later, I’m in the utility room stripping off my wet clothes after getting Dodger dry and wiping off his paws. 

Chris stops pacing the kitchen when he sees me walking through the house in my bra and underwear. 

“What happened to your clothes?” he asks. 

“Dodger saw a squirrel and got excited and kind of dragged me through a snow bank.” I sigh. I throw my clothes in the dryer and make my way into our room to get changed. 

“Dodge, come on.....” Chris admonishes. Dodger just jumps up on the bed and curls up. 

I throw on a pair of gray sweatpants and a blue Patriots hoodie that’s hung over the back of the chair in our room and sit down on the side of the bed. 

“I want to know the rest.” I tell Chris. 

He sits down heavily on the end of the bed. 

“No, you don’t.” 

I swallow thickly. “You’re right. I don’t. But it doesn’t matter, because you’re going to tell me anyway.” 

Hours pass with Jo and Chris laughing and talking and flirting back and forth, until it’s 1am and the bar closes for the night. 

“Thanks for sticking around and hanging out tonight. I think I would have died of sheer boredom if you hadn’t.” Jo laughs softly. She offered to walk him back to his room as he was pretty well drunk and a little unsteady on his feet. 

“It was no problem. I didn’t really want to be alone tonight to be honest. I used to do really well on my own. I was used to it, and then......I wasn’t alone.” Chris tells her. 

Once they reach his room, they linger outside for a few minutes, both of them not really wanting the night to end. Jo steps closer to him, knowing exactly what she wants and completely unashamed about it. 

“You should kiss me.” she says softly, looking up at him with big doe eyes. She places her hands on his chest and instead of immediately backing away like he should have, he leans into her touch. 

Chris closes his eyes as he feels his mouth go dry and a strange fluttery feeling in his stomach. He hasn’t really felt this way since....

He opens his eyes and breathes out deeply. “I can’t. I’m married. I’m married and I’m insanely in love with my wife.” 

“So? You should kiss me anyway. I can tell you want to. You’ve been flirting with me all night.” she says, taking a step closer. “I won’t tell anyone. I promise. You need a way to release all this tension you’ve got, and I’m more than willing to help you out anyway I can.” 

Before his brain can scream at him to stop, he’s wrapping his arms around her and covering her mouth with his, kissing her soundly. It’s a battle of teeth and tongues, both of them trying to take control from the other. Without breaking apart, Chris manages to get his key card out of his pocket and gets the door open, pushing both of them through it and slamming it behind them. 

“This never goes beyond this room. We never talk about this ever again.” Chris gasps, pulling away from her just long enough to get the words out. 

“Absolutely.” she agrees. 

Clothes are torn off and tossed to the floor in a frenzy, and as soon as Chris drops his pants and boxers, Jo sinks to her knees and takes him in her mouth, swallowing him almost all the way down. 

“Oh, fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Christ, yes, just like that.” he moans out. 

He brings his right hand to her hair, holding it in a makeshift ponytail while his left hand goes to her shoulder. 

She almost makes him lose his mind with the things she can do with her tongue, and within minutes, he’s fucking her face roughly as spit runs down her chin and tears are springing to her eyes from the assault on her throat, but she loves it. She has the man she’s fantasized about for years shoving his cock down her throat, and she’s never been more turned on in her life. She smirks to herself as she wonders if his wife ever sucks him off like THIS. 

When he can’t stand it anymore, Chris pulls her off his dick and takes a few deep breaths. 

“I need a condom.” 

“Right. I have one in my purse.” she tells him as she reaches for her bag and finds it and hands it to him. 

“Get on the bed. On your hands and knees.” he says roughly. While her mouth was wrapped around him, he was mesmerized and couldn’t look away, but now he finds that he doesn’t even want to look at her face. He rolls the condom over his cock, giving it a few strokes before sinking into her from behind.

Tears stream down my face as I process all of what Chris just told me, and I can’t even BREATHE with how devastated I feel. It’s like a hole just got punched through my chest. I try and take a breath in, but it turns into a strangled sob and I drop my head into my hands and just let it out. 

Chris swallows thickly, wiping away his own tears as he watches me fall apart  across from him, wishing that he could do something.....ANYTHING to take all the pain away. To go back and undo everything that he did so you wouldn’t hurt. All he feels is deep, unrelenting shame and he knows in his gut that if you asked for a divorce after hearing all of his sins laid bare, he wouldn’t be surprised or even have the right to be devastated. He made his bed. 

I feel bile rising in my throat, and I stumble to my feet and race to the downstairs bathroom, falling to my knees and vomiting painfully as the image of my husband kissing this woman and fucking her run through my head. I barely notice Chris come into the bathroom until I feel him pulling my hair back and securing it with a hair tie, and rubbing my back softly. I can’t even find the breath or the energy to tell him to get away from me and drop dead. 

I’m so damn tired. Like, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this level of physical and mental exhaustion before. I sink back into the pillows a little more, and look over at Chris. Neither one of us have said a word since he picked me up off the bathroom floor and stood there with his arm around my waist as I brushed my teeth. That was 45 minutes ago. 

“It was just sex?” I ask. 

He exhales. “It was just sex. It was just once.”

I look back up at the ceiling and try and make sense of everything. 

“I don’t understand. I don’t understand any of it. I don’t understand why you would sleep with another woman.”

“I-I don’t know. I was lonely because we were fighting, and I missed you so goddamn much, and I was afraid of what was happening to us with all of the stress and I just......I got drunk, and I did a horrible thing. I did a horrible thing, and I wish that I could take it back. I wish I could take it back so bad it hurts. But I can’t. And I have to live with that for the rest of my life.” Chris says. 

I lift my eyes to meet his. “You were lonely? That’s your excuse? You were lonely, and you were upset. So you stuck your dick in another woman.” 

I stand at the kitchen sink and drain a glass of water in record time, and refill it. Turns out crying all day and then puking can kind of dehydrate you. I can sense Chris behind me, even though he doesn’t say anything. 

“Two years ago, a couple of weeks after you left for Africa to start shooting the movie, I found out I was pregnant. We hadn’t even officially started trying yet, so it came as a pretty big surprise. But I was so happy, and I couldn’t wait to tell you. I didn’t want to tell you over the phone, especially when you were so far away, so I was going to surprise you when you came home. I had it all planned out. I practiced telling you standing in front of the bathroom mirror, just so I could see the stupid happy look on my face.”

I feel tears prick my eyes, and I swallow down the sob that I feel threatening to come out. I turn towards Chris, and the look on his face is heartbreaking. 

“What?” he breathes out. 

“I was at a job.....I was shooting a birthday party for a little girl who was turning one. All I could think about was that that was going to be us eventually, and it made me so happy. Everything was fine, but then I started having horrible pain in my stomach. It got so bad that I collapsed, and the parents called 911 when they realized that I was bleeding. They did an ultrasound at the hospital, but they couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat. I had already miscarried. You don’t know anything about feeling lonely until you’re by yourself laying on a table with your feet in stirrups while a doctor cleans out your uterus.”

Chris is sunk down in one of the kitchen chairs with his hand over his mouth and tears running down his face. This is the first time he’s hearing any of this. 

“Why didn’t-” his voice cracks, and he takes a minute and clears his throat before he tries again. “Why the hell didn’t you call me? Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come home!”

“Chris, you were 8,000 miles away from home. There wasn’t anything you could do. It was too late. They had to do the procedure as soon as possible. I didn’t.....I hadn’t told anyone else that I was pregnant. And I didn’t want to call your mom or sisters because I didn’t want them to find out. I knew if they found out they would call you, and you would be devastated. And I couldn’t do that to you when you were so far away. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you. I was trying to protect you.”

The sound of his fist slamming against the heavy oak table makes me jump. 

“And what about over the last two years? Huh? Don’t you think that I had a right to know? Don’t you think I had the right as your husband, to be there with you? To comfort you? To mourn with you? To even have a fucking clue about what happened?” 

I take a deep breath. 

“You did.  You should have been there. You should have been there with me to hold my hand and cry with me and tell me that it was going to be okay, even though it was a lie. But you weren’t. You were doing your job. I don’t know if you realize it, but when you leave for work or press or whatever it is that you have to leave me for, you’re not the only one who’s lonely. You’re not the only one who has to deal with the silence. But you don’t see me going out and fucking someone else.”

Tears start to swim in my eyes again, and I suddenly feel like if I don’t get out of the house right now, I’m going to suffocate. I’ve been in here with Chris literally all day while we picked apart his affair, and I’m exhausted. I’m hurt and emotional and talking about the baby that we lost just made everything worse.

“I’m gonna go. I just.....I can’t handle anything else today. I know you’re probably really pissed off at me right now, and honestly, the feeling is mutual. Things are already about as bad as they can be, so I’m gonna leave before we have a chance to make it worse.”

The last thing I see before I walk out the door is Chris sitting at the table with his head in his hands, sobbing while Dodger sits on the floor next to him, whining in distress.  

 The Usual Suspects: @averyrogers83 @wordywarriorwrites @imanuglywombat @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @hlkwrites @reminiscingrogers @mom—nicole @jtargaryen18 @alexakeyloveloki @kelbabyblue @sarahp879 @moonlessnight14 @mojean13 @mrskokitztelford @artisticrogers1972 @southerngracela @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @mybesttobobcratchit @gracethegeek9902 @mdemontespan1667 @marvelfansworld @capslut2014 @dispatchvampire @jamielea81 @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety​ @nerdy-bookworm-1998​ @southerngracela​ @what-is-your-plan-today @letsdisneythings​ @theladybiers @lexeeehhh @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @autumnrose40 @donutloverxo​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @jessaywahh-blog​@smediumsmeatbae @before-we-get-started​ @lizette50 @littlegasps @rageshots @what-is-your-backupplan-today @clairebubbles @patzammit @sweet--catrastophe @pandaxnienke @redhairedfeistynerd @hails270105 @syms-things-5 @chezdricks @denisemarieangelina @christ0pher-evans @supersquirrel1996 @thumbeliina​

[weasleypogues]

brother’s best friend (j.m.)

request: hiiiiii I love all of your other fics and was wondering if I could request one where you’re jj’s sister and dating john b and jj finds out??

new edit: soo some one pointed out to me that i read the prompt wrong and i did haha so so soo sorry so i’ll be posting a new one soon w the right prompt!!

master list.

eee thank u sm that means a lot and i loooveee this prompt in writing hehe this’ll be fun

you didn’t love the idea of having to lie to your brother, john b, about your relationship with his best friend jj. but you also didn’t hate the thrill of having to sneak him in or out or tell little white lies in front of john b and the other pogues. 

it was obvious that with all these secrets and rendezvous, the longer it took to tell john b and keep it a secret from everyone, the worse the blow up of emotions would be when the truth finally came out. and that’s what scared you the most. 

maybe john b would forbid you and jj from ever being in the same room again, but it was your choice on who you could and couldn’t date, right? or you were afraid of losing that bond that you had with your brother because you two were all each other had since your dad went missing at sea. 

there were so many of these thoughts racking against your skull that you didn’t even notice jj tap lightly on the window in your bed room. your eyes grew wide quickly before glancing at your door and than back to him. he gave you the sheepish smile you had fallen in love with while you opened the window and he jumped through, landing with a thud on the ground. 

your face scrunched together at the noise and your body froze along with jj’s, listening for footsteps that weren’t there. thank god. a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in is let out and you playfully hit jj in the shoulder.

“do you wanna be murdered by your best friend tonight? or do you want me to do it first?” you asked, running a hand over your face. jj only chuckled, clearly not taking you seriously whatsoever. 

“murder me in what way?” jj asked with a smirk, his eyebrows raising up and down. you let out a laugh and rolled your eyes. how does he possibly make everything a sexual innuendo?

“i saw you wrote in the group chat that you weren’t planning on hanging out with the rest of the pogues today so i thought it would come over, seeing as the rest of them were going out for the day.” jj whispered innocently, shrugging his shoulders and helping himself to a spot on your bed. you quickly put a finger to jj’s lips to get him to be quiet. 

“see you later, (y/n/n)!” you heard john b yell out from across the house. you and jj waited in silence as you heard his van pull out of the driveway and the loud engine faded away. your once tensed body had relaxed at last and you gave jj a small smile.

“that’s sweet that you did that. but you should probably answer saying that you can’t just so no one gets suspicious, yanno?” you stated, running your hands through his blonde hair. he pulled his phone out of his pocket and responded to the group chat. 

“look. done. now can we chill out a little?” jj inquired, although he didn’t wait for an answer because he playfully tackled you to the bed and prompted himself on his palms to get a good look at you lying down. the chain dangling in front of your face would be the death of you. 

it wasn’t long until he leaned down, placing his lips on yours. no matter how many pecks, kisses, or makeouts you guys had, he still gave you butterflies. from under him, you let your hands freely roam his body, light tracing over any crevices. your right hand soon found a permanent spot at the nape of his neck, letting your fingers lightly tug on his hair. 

this moment could’ve easily lasted forever and you wouldn’t even notice. however, it ended when jj pulled away, slightly out of breath and looking into your eyes. 

“lunch break?” jj asked, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. you couldn’t help the smile that overtook your own face before nodding and following his lead off the bed. 

you made your way to the door first and with a little hop in your step, walked towards the kitchen. it was almost inevitable, but jj couldn’t help himself from smacking your ass as you walked in front of him. this obviously let a little squeal and giggle leave your mouth. 

“the fuck?” this was possibly the last voice you thought you’d hear and last one you wanted to hear after jj hit your ass. 

both of your heads snapped towards the front door to see sarah, pope, kiara with surprised but scared faces as they stood behind a fuming john b. 

you felt your body go slightly numb from the amount of trouble you knew you were in but also felt your hands sweating that if john b were to find out, it was of course after he saw his best friend slap his little sister’s ass. classy. 

“what are you doing home? y-you guys were supposed to be out.” you asked, your voice slightly shaky and your eyes wide. only silence followed as you could practically see fumes leaving your brother’s ears.

“this is exactly what it looks like.” jj clearly stated, nodding his head, frozen in fear. you gave jj a what the fuck? face and slapped him on the chest. 

“what is this?” john b asked, waving his pointed finger back and forth between you two. 

“do you actually want me to answer? because i feel like there’s no way you’re gonna wanna hear the truth.” you answered, giving your older brother raised eyebrows. for some strange reason, your fear quickly turned into slight anger. this emotion change was weird because he had every right to be angry with you two because you two shouldn’t have kept this a secret from him but yet again, he can’t control who you date. 

“out of all guys, you gotta choose my best friend?” john b asked, sounding still angry but slightly hurt. you hadn’t really thought of this that maybe he would feel like you were taking his best friend away from him and that his best friend would be taking his little sister away from him. 

“it just kinda happened. i really really love your sister, but nothing is going to change the friendship we got, man.” jj answered sympathetically, taking a couple of steps towards john b cautiously. 

“shut the fuck up. love? you told me last week that you went home with some touron and hooked up with her. how is that loving my little sister?” john b responded, his face becoming slightly redder and his voice rising. 

jj quickly put his hands up in defense. “that was a lie! i didn’t go home with anyone. we just couldn’t let anyone find out that we were together or someone would get suspicious so we kept making lies.” john b’s face faltered slightly.

“how long have you two been lying?” john b asked, blankly. jj looked back at you, hoping you would take it from here before john b tackled him to the ground.

“three months.” you said, pretty confidently. john b lowered his head as he ran his fingers through his hair before letting his hand fall and grasp onto the old black bandana hanging from his neck. 

“do you love him?” john b asked, taking a few steps closer to you. your face softened and you got goosebumps.

“yeah. a lot.” you responded, slightly chuckling as a small smile tugged at the corner of your lips. john b didn’t even ask jj but turned around and jj nodded exessively.

“so fucking much man. this is 100% different than some random hook up.” jj said, before letting his eyes softly flicker to yours and giving you a small smile. 

“i feel like i would’ve been mad either way but i’m just more annoyed you guys kept it a secret from me...but to be honest, i probably would’ve kept it a secret from me too if i were you.” john b said, a light laugh coming out to ease his sentence. you had completely forgotten that pope, kie, and sarah stood behind him until sarah spoke up.

“i think this is kinda cute.” she said with a cute pouty face that couldn’t hide her smile. you gave her a smile in response and walked to jj, wrapping your arms around his left one. 

“yeah, yeah, yeah, what sarah said or whatever.” john b replied in defeat, giving you a small smile. “if she ever comes home crying, angry, or literally anything but happy, i will not hesistate to beat you the fuck up.”

“permission granted.” jj replied, giving john b a joking salute. 

[stephenpe]

Soo, I haven't made a post is a while :) but I got inspiration so I'm going for it.

Have I ever mentioned how dumb I think the argument "the accords would stop the Avengers from protecting the world" is? Like they're not even just insulting team iron man, they're insulting team cap as well thinking that if the accords did want to stop them from taking on this world ending threat, then they would listen?? Like all of the Avengers have broken the law plenty of times and willingly. Do they really think Tony Stark wouldn't break the law if it needs be? Not to mention that what country in their right mind would not want the avengers help if there were literal aliens falling from the sky??

Not saying all of this to say that the Accords are unneeded, cause they are. The Avengers shouldn't have a right to invade any country on some secret mission, maybe blow up some property, maybe some people die, and then leave as if nothing happened. For example, Wanda blew up a building in the beginning of Civil War, people died and then she went home. Now she might of done that accidentally, but it doesn't mean it didn't happen. You still get consequences for accidents. Anyway, she went home and watched the aftermath of what she had done which seems wrong to me. She caused this destruction and hurt, accidently or not, still happened. Why is she at home? Has she said anything? Apologized to the country for blowing up a building and killing representatives of another? That's what so many Marvel watchers don't acknowledge. The fact that, we wee what goes on behind closed doors, but the people of those countries don't. All they see is a girl blowing up a building after appearing from who knows where, accidently killing people in the building, then leaving. Do you really think that would make you feel safe? Like of course more people would've died if she hadn't thrown the bomb, but that doesn't mske the people who died calotal damage. Not im mot saying all of this to hate on Wanda, though i don't particularly like her, I am much more willing to blame Steve for putting her in this position and getting compromised by the world bucky. Anndd thats just a few reasons why the accords are necessary.

So I mightve went off topic a couple of times, but honestly these are just long winded rants. Basically the thinking that the "Accords will stop the avengers from protecting the world" is dumb and all the avengers are very willing to break the law if it needs be. And, that doesn't mean the accords because blah blah blah wanda situation!

[dangermousie]

2019 END OF YEAR KDrama Post

Wow, I haven’t made one in years. This is going to involve only dramas that came out in 2019 because I watched a hell of a lot dramas made prior to that and trying to figure out which ones will give me a headache.

DRAMAS WATCHED (In order of liking from most to least as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen at least two eps AND feel it was enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

Extraordinary You -  A philosophy and religion course AND a love story, and perfect at both.

My Country - a brutal, passionate, intense masterpiece of a sageuk. This is how they should be.

Crash Landing On You - the two eps that have aired brought my joy in watching kdramas back to me so vividly. This is everything. 

Encounter - the perfect noona romance of the year for me. It seems to have little plot (powerful older woman, idealistic younger man) but the characters made me love them with an unhealthy amount of attachment and the mood is just perfect. 

Haechi - smart traditional sageuk with a heart. This one will make you love it but also respect it in the morning :)

Queen: Love and War - Period, romance, mystery, helpless king and feisty heroine. It’s everything I love in one package. 

Chocolate - if, like me, you like slow old-school melo with genuine grown-ups, this one is for you. Ha Ji Won and Yoon Kye Sang are both incandescent in this. 

One Spring Night - a rare slice of life that worked for me so so much. I rooted for the main OTP like crazy (I did skip all the sister stuff though because boring to me.) It’s just a breath of fresh air.

The Tale of Nokdu - a rare funny youth sageuk that worked for me (except, ironically, for when they tried to be politics-heavy and serious about it.) Wonderful OTP, funny situations and just generally a delight. 

Memories of the Alhambra - I can hear people screaming that I put this so high, but this is a faves ranking, not objective one, and I loved the unusual premise (it ultimately fell apart but it tried), and Hyun Bin’s performance was out of this world and the aaaaagnst and I enjoyed waiting for it each week until almost the end. That ending though!!!!!

Psychopath Diary - this is black comedy at its best and hysterical and smart and somehow got me invested in the hapless protagonist. 

Hotel del Luna - clever and funny and smart. Hong Sisters largely back to form. I found the sageuk parts more engaging than modern ones, but what else is new.

Search WWW - some parts of it worked for me more than others, but it had solid writing and cool characters and some interesting OTP(s). 

Love is Beautiful Life is Wonderful - has the weekend drama slowness but it lovely and fun. 

When the Camellia Blooms - it was well made and the OTP was great and the acting top notch, I just don’t tend to go gaga for slice of life dramas, especially ones involving market ladies, much. 

Flower Crew Joseon Marriage Agency - competently done, pretty period piece about nothing. It was enjoyable and forgettable at once.

Catch the Ghost - I put it as high as I did because the OTP really did have lovely chemistry but the story was a complete mess, the police work made no sense and the heroine’s character was like nails on a chalkboard for me.

Joseon Survival - I got about four episodes in and liked it a lot but then Kang Ji Hwan turned out to be a convicted rapist, they replaced the lead and I didn’t go back. I kind of want to because I liked what I saw and I am madly curious as to whether they changed the main character or just said he had a different face now, no explanation. 

The Last Empress - pure inconsistent trash but so entertaining!

Vagabond - I made it eight episodes in before I realized that I would have as much fun staring at traffic. It’s a competently done actioner but without more, actioners never work for me, so this was a viewer/drama mismatch.

Arthdal  Chronicles - incoherent, visually odd and boring, this is arguably the worst drama this year but I am giving it higher place because the cast really tries (even if it tends to fail because it has nothing to work with) and because it attempted something different even if it failed spectacularly. SO BAD.

Melting Me Softly - yes, my brain was fully melted by this soulless, charmless waste of Ji Chang Wook and my limited free time.

VIP - Any drama that makes the main mystery and thrust of the story who the husband cheated on his wife with is BORING. Seriously, this is not exactly Hercule Poirot. They wasted their cast - I have NO idea why Lee Sang Yoon agreed to be in this as a one note character and Jang Nara is playing a second scorned wife in a row but without even the entertainment value of her previous outing.

Abyss - aptly named. The best thing I can say about it is it didn’t offend me but oh boy was it dull.

Absolute Boyfriend - I loved the manga but it’s time to accept this can never be adapted well. They wasted the cast and that ending was just an insult on top of a trash heap.

The Lies Within - you cast that cast and deliberately have no romance. You are dead to me. 

Woman of 9.9 Billion - competently made, but it’s everything I dislike - dour unpleasant bored people behaving as if they are in a particularly dreary art-house French movie but without any nuance or interest the latter came provide. 

Love with Flaws - shrill, dumb, neither acted nor written by anyone trying at all. 

Rookie Historian Goo Hae Ryung - objectively, it’s not the worst drama on the list, but it’s everything I hate in one package - willfully ahistorical but not cleverly so, male lead incapable of acting, the characters so one-dimensional they disappear, this purports to be a period drama but about as period as a space ship. God, I loathed this. 

FAVORITE DRAMA

Extraordinary You - smart (so mind-bendingly smart) and moving and totally unpredictable and with so many things to say about free will and religion and self and nature of memory and narrative, this had an insane impossible premise and yet somehow managed to do it full justice and stick the landing. 

WORST DRAMA

People with Flaws - this is different from least favorite because even if I loathed e.g., Rookie Historian or Woman of 9.9 Billion, I recognized some positive features; it’s just certain things really rubbed me the wrong way due to personal preferences. But this shrill hot mess of a drama is really everything that’s wrong with dramaworld.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Prince Yeoning, Haechi - fiercely smart, strong, tormented by the duality of his birth (royal father, servant mother) but not letting this distract him from his purpose, loyal to the bone, and with integrity nothing can shake but where you can feel that it’s not easy and that it costs him.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Eun Dan Oh, Extraordinary You - a go-getter who remakes the world (literally); smart, cheerful, strong, beautifully human. She feels so real and yet is larger than anything around her. 

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Yi Seung Gye, My Country - a sociopath destroying lives in his quest for power and control, even the destruction of his own family barely gives him anything but momentary pause. He is the reason for the tragedy of MC. 

FAVORITE SHIP

Eun Dan Oh x Haru, Extraordinary You - their love is literally universe and god-defying. They have loved each other as different people in three separate worlds (and counting), and have defied loss of memory and even loss of self as well as death, the end of worlds, and their god and the narrative and literally anything and everything, to be together.

Runner Up: Soo Hyun x Jin Hyuk, Encounter: tender and decent and his bringing her back to vivid life and the way they love and support and compliment each other.  

Probably gonna be on list if doesn’t go haywire: Crash Landing on You: she is a SK heiress, he’s a NK officer, they have mad chemistry and so much potential.

NOTP:

Tae Mi x Morgan, Search WWW - love the actors, love the chemistry, love the characters in terms of the way they are written, but they are absolutely wrong for each other and there is no future of any sort but misery ahead. None of their issues are resolved but are swept under the rug. It’s a cautionary tale, not a romance. I did a long rant before so not repeating. 

BEST SECONDARY OTP

Scarlett x Ji Hwan, Search WWW - they stole the shippiness in the drama for me. Cooky and adorable and noona romance done right.

FAVORITE SCENE

Haru’s final disappearance, Extraordinary You - the lights start to go out, the world literally dissolving, Eun Oh and Haru clinging to each other, with his telling her she was his beginning and the end. His name, the one she gave him, is the last thing he hears. In a drama full of amazing scenes the very gist of which was defying the very creator and universe and meaning of existence, this was the one that stayed with me the most.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seo Hwi, My Country - I have a thing for deeply honorable, deeply tortured period badasses with long hair and a death wish (see Choi Young in Faith etc.)

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Yi Bang Won, My Country - he started out as an antihero and ended up as arguably a tragic villain (or maybe still an anti-hero) but oh boy, was he magnetic and fascinating and sucking out all the oxygen whenever he was in the scene.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Memories of the Alhambra - WTF ending was that?! All that misery and no real resolution?! Dammit!

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Youth Sageuk - I hate most of them! They are anachronistic and dumb and honestly, what is the point of having fully modern people in period clothes? Just make a modern show and call it a day.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

Melting Me Softly - Ji Chang Wook’s first project back from the military was an unfunny, unmoving, pointless mess with not an ounce of genuine enjoyment despite the excellent pedigree of everyone involved in front and behind the camera.

Arthdal Chronicles - the makers made excellent Queen Seon Duk, Tree with Deep Roots and Six Flying Dragons. The cast was uniformly A grade. The result was an open-ended, boring, incoherent mess that looks like a bad sort of a drug trip and made about as much sense. 

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Extraordinary You - I had zero interest in yet another high school drama with no actors I recognized. By the end, EY was an emotional brainy twister of a marvel that became my favorite drama of all time. I’ve been watching dramas for over 13 years so that’s saying something.

2019 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

The Crowned Clown - I love sageuks and cast and it looks so smart and emotional

Angel’s Last Mission: Love - my next contemporary - I watched a little and loved what I saw

Fates and Furies - I saw a few eps and classic melo is so up my alley.

Clean with a Passion for Now - I like the cast and it’s a year of falling for hot weird bosses apparently.

Graceful Family - I love makjang and Im Soo Jung.

The Secret Life of My Secretary - downmarket Beauty Inside and I loved BI.

Love Affairs in the Afternoon - artsy adultery FTW

Item - I don’t like crime stuff but I am here for Joo Ji Hoon.

My Strange Hero - seems a little cooky but I am fond of Yoo Seung Ho.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2020

King: the Eternal Monarch - Lee Min Ho and Woo Do Hwan and parallel worlds and written by Kim Eun Suk. Yes Please.

I should probably make one for cdramas too though that one would be rather shorter.

[queerbutstillhere-writes]

Mutual Pining

"I'm going to literally put my head through a wall."

"Pftt, why?"

Cissie shot a glare at Cassie, then turned, pointing at Bart.

"So? He's just . . . What is he doing?"

Bart was sitting on the beanbags in the corner of Cassie's room, just . . . Staring into space. He never sat still. Ever. Not for this long, anyway.

"He's been like this for weeks, Cassie."

"Why?" Cassie asked her girlfriend, shifting to look at her phone better.

"Take a wild guess."

Cassie sighed and set down the device, looking up at her fellow blonde, thinking. What could have Bart Allen literally moping.

Oh.

"Is it because of Tim?"

Cassie had overheard Bart talking to Cissie once about his crush on Tim. It sounded like he was in pretty deep, but no one knew Tim's sexuality.

"Close."

"Close? How can I be wrong, is there anything else that boy thinks of?"

"Yep. Well. Two things. Food, and . . ."

"And what?" Cassie asked, narrowing her eyes.

Cissie seemed less annoyed and more just amused now. Amused at holding this over Cassie, watching her struggle for the truth.

"What is the one thing, everyone on this team, has all been head over heels for?"

Cassie blinked at Cissie. Then she slowly turned to look at Bart. Then back at Cissie.

"OH MY GOD, KON?!?!"

Tim tapped angrily at the edge of the desk, scowling at his computer screen, then looking down at the case file.

"What's got your bat-panties in a twist?"

Tim didn't bother to respond. Nor did he bother to look up at Dick as the older vigilante walked over and ruffled his hair.

"Hey. You're tapping, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just tap."

This was true. He would bounce his leg or drum on surfaces or two against his collarbone. He just did that. It wasn't even something he thought about or noticed anymore.

"Okay. That's fair. But why are you glaring at the computer screen like it personally wronged you."

"It has. This case isn't panning out like I thought."

Dick was silent for a bit.

"Kon called earlier."

"Oh?"

Dick nodded, still reading the monitor. "He sounded worried. Said something about you missing a meeting?"

"They had training drills today. I couldn't make it."

A few beats of silence.

"Why not? You weren't doing anything. It's summer break."

"I was working on this case."

"So you skipped training with some of your only friends because of a case?"

Tim scowled deeper. Why was Dick questioning him? Why couldn't Dick just mind his own business? Tim didn't want to discuss it anyway. Besides, it's not like he was avoiding his friends or anything. No, nothing like that.

"It's an important case."

Dick snorted. "No offense Tim, but I don't really think the theft of those two paintings are really all that important. Besides, you know Bruce was just going to ask Selina."

Tim neglected to answer, leaning forwards and hitting a few buttons to run a program search.

"Why are you avoiding them."

To his credit, Tim didn't react, just watched code run across the screen as his program worked. Then he slowly looked over at Dick. His question had not been worded as a question. It had very much been worded as a statement. You're avoiding your friends and I want to know why.

"I'm not."

"You are. Normally when I would mention Kon, you'd at least grin or something, but just now you sat there and scowled like Bruce. Oh god are you becoming Bruce? Oh no, we need to get you help, quick-"

Dick grabbed Tim by the armpits and started pulling.

"Quit!" Tim said, but did laugh a bit, smacking at Dick with one hand as he grabbed onto the desk with the other, holding himself in place.

"Come on, Timmy, what's wrong?"

Dick asked, going serious once more as he sat on the desk, facing Tim.

Alright. Time to take a calculated risk. Talk to Dick, your kind of older brother who definitely has more relationship practice, and also practice with this certain issue, or continue to be harassed by him.

Then again, telling him could lead to more harassment.

Does Dick know he's gay?

Never mind, just don't mention genders and he'll probably assume you mean the girls.

"Okay. Okay fine. Don't tell anyone about this."

"My lips are sealed," Dick promised, smiling and pulling a leg up, knee against his chest.

"I thought I had a crush on one of my friends."

"Okay."

"Except now I think I have a crush on two of them."

Dick was silent for a moment, head tilted at him, considering this.

"Kon and Bart?"

Tim scowled, crossing his arms, facing Dick fully.

"Why did you immediately assume them?"

"I'm a detective the same as you are, Tim. I have eyes. I see the way you look at them, the way you act, posturing and showing off. I know how to recognize teen boys with crushes."

"Except when you're the teen boy with a crush."

Dick snorted, shaking his head. "Yeah, unless it's me. So am I right."

Tim hesitated, then nodded.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know! I really like them both, but Kon's so straight and Bart . . . Bart just doesn't talk about relationship and things so I have no clue what he thinks."

Dick nodded distantly, and Tim really hoped he was thinking of ways to help and not ways to mock.

"Have you, and this just an idea. Have you considered asking them?"

"Why would I do that?"

"To find out?"

"Dick they don't even know I'm not straight!" Tim exclaimed, feeling more annoyed than anything.

"So tell them." Dick shrugged.

"That's not how this works."

"Tim. They're your friends. I highly doubt either of them have a problem with it. . . Now the crush thing, that may be an issue.

Tim groaned and dropped his head to the desk, banging it a few times.

So what if he had a crush on his two best friends. It didn't matter. He wouldn't say anything. It's not like he wanted to hold their hands and kiss them and cuddle and- no, it's not like he absolutely craved any of that.

Besides, even if he did come out to them, he'd have to pick between them, and he didn't think he could.

He'd have to pick, right?

"Why are you moping, kid?"

Kon glanced up at Kyle, scowling.

"I'm not moping."

"Oh you soo are."

Kyle easily picked up a huge piece of cement debris with his ring and spun, putting it on the big green truck full of other debris.

"I'm not!"

Kyle snorted, floating down to be level with Kon, who had done a third of the work Kyle had done so far.

"Sure. No moping, got it. So what is the cause of your Not-Moping?"

"None of your business," Kon muttered, picking up a piece of cement tangled with steel and turned, placing it on Kyle's construct truck.

"Okay okay. Do you want me to go get Supes then because-"

"No! Don't you dare!"

Kyle cracked a grin, creating two chairs with his constructs.

"Sit down and tell doc Kyle."

"I hate you."

But Conner sat down in the chaise like construct, glaring at the Green Lantern.

"I'm having relationship issues."

"Oh god that's a fucking mood. What's happening."

"There's this guy I really like. . . "

"Oh."

"Except, it's not just one guy."

"Oof."

"Yeah. And I don't think either of them know I'm not straight and that I like boys too, and I don't . . . Liking both of them is a problem."

"Ah, a classic love triangle. Alright, you want help cracking this?"

Kon took a deep breath, ready to yell at Kyle and tell him to piss off.

"So step one, you gotta come out to them. If one is like "ew, gross" then they're off the table," Kyle started, not even waiting for permission. "Two, see who you fit better with, personality wise, who do you get along with more. Three, make a decision. Probably regret it later."

". . . Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Kyle."

"See, I do know things! Like I know that you're way behind on clean up so you better get your ass in there!"

Kon scoffed as Kyle shoved him forwards, toward the debris, but he just returned to picking up, thinking as he worked.

Kyle was right. He should come out first. He'd been meaning to for a while, anyway. He'd only dated girls so far, but he still very much liked boys. Especially, as he had recently realized, Tim and Bart.

He was so screwed.

Why did he have to fall for both of them?

Bart was going to vibrate out of his skin.

The problem literally wasn't with him this time.

For once.

See, where he had come from, relationships were just whatever you made of them. Sexuality was more fluid and open, gender was just weird, standard relationships weren't necessarily between two people, sometimes there was as many as five people in one relationship. Sometimes there were even more. But. That's not how things worked here.

But he was going to vibrate out of his skin because he wanted to date his best friends and that's not how things worked here.

He just wanted cuddle piles and kissing and holding hands with both of them. Because he was in love with both of them.

And right now he was stuck, watching them flirt, and realizing that if anyone was going to get to date them, it would be each other and he wouldn't be involved. He'd be lonely.

Cue "All By Myself" by Celine Dion.

It was obvious Kon and Tim liked each other. They did all the typical flirty things, showing off, trying to one up each other, so on and so forth. They grinned at each other and touched each other and stared fondly at each other from across the room. Bart saw it all. And he knew he would never be the receiving end of all those looks and little things.

Only he was. And for all his speed, he never saw it.

He never saw how Tim fondly smiled and shook his head when Bart zipped off to do something silly. He never saw how Kon would just space off staring at him, a stupid grin plastered on his face. He never noticed the fond comments and nudges and smiles. He never really paid attention to how Kon often threw an arm around his shoulders as he traded him. And he never really noticed how Tim was always checking on him first after the team got hit hard. He didn't notice these things.

And boy, he would have gone into this conversation a lot different if he had.

They were all three just hanging out, laying around in the lounge area of their headquarters, Bart was laying half off the sofa, playing a video game on his DS. He wasn't really paying attention to what the others were doing because he was focused for once. Then Kon spoke.

"Hey, can uh. . . Can you two listen for a moment."

"Yup," Bart responded instantly, even as he moved so his feet were on top of the sofa and his head was dangling off.

"No like. Really listen, Bart."

So Bart sighed and paused the game, setting it down and looking back at Kon. Once he had Tim's attention, he spoke again.

"I'm . . . Uh, I'm bi."

Tim blinked at him, Bart scowled.

"What's that," he asked, and then gave a little wave. "Bye?"

Kon snorted and shook his head. "No, imp, bi. Bisexual. I like boys and girls."

"Oh. . . Huh. Neat."

Kon seemed nervous. Why was he nervous? Did he think they would accept him? That would be dumb if him, Bart was pretty sure he had mentioned how things worked in the future. So maybe he was worried about Tim? But why would he worry about Tim? Tim was their best friend. Why would Tim judge?

Kon was, in fact, looking at Tim now.

"Okay. Thank you for trusting us," Tim said with a smile.

A forced smile. His face was carefully controlled, even Bart could see that. Kon could definitely see it.

"Sorry if this uh, makes anything weird?"

Tim just shook his head. "No, you don't need to apologize, Kon. We want you to feel comfortable with us."

Kon nodded once, but stayed quiet. Bart glanced between them, as they were staring at each other, then sighed sadly, picking up his DS again.

Loneellyyyyy, I'm so lonnnellyyyy.

Ohmigodohmigodohmigodohmiodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigod

Tim's brain had been screaming that for hours now, ever since Kon had come out.

So sue him for going to Blüdhaven instead of Gotham.

He banged on the window that he knew Dick climbed in and out of, waiting until the other vigilante slid it open.

"You know I have a front door, right?" Dick asked, leaning on the window sill.

"I know but I need to talk, are you free?"

"Not particularly."

Dick pointed behind him and Tim looked past to see a couple of the Titans inside, eating pizza that he could just now smell. His mouth started watering.

"Let him in, Dickiebird! We'll stay quiet!"

Dick squinted at Tim, but he knew it was directed to Roy.

"Yeah, fine, you can come in if you still want to talk with them here."

Tim found himself sat on the only free armchair, pizza in hand. He looked at the Titans, and then shrugged, taking a breath.

"You know that guy I was telling you about," Tim started warily, not wanting to out Kon to all of his brothers friends.

"The one you liked?"

"Yeah. The one with the dark hair."

Dick nodded. Thankfully he had picked up that Tim was trying to avoid names.

"He just told me that he's bi."

"Hey! That's great!" Dick exclaimed, grinning.

"Yeah. . ."

"You gonna tell him, or?"

Tim was silent for a bit, munching on his pizza.

"Should I? But what about the other . . ."

"Oh you're right," Dick scowled at the floor.

The Titans exchanged looks.

"What's going on?" Donna asked finally.

"Tim here has a crush on two separate guys, who are pretty close friends," Dick explained vaguely.

"Oh, classic. That sucks dude," Wally said, nodding and looking thoughtful.

It was Roy who shrugged and said the words that would be stuck on Tim's mind for the next month.

"Date them both."

Well step one had failed ultimately. Or well, rather, it went amazing.

But he was still stuck with having crushes on both Tim and Bart.

The problem is - as Tim had also previously complained about, unbeknownst to Kon - Tim is like, straight straight, and Bart just doesn't seem interested in relationships.

So he was so fucking screwed.

He was just laying in bed, moping and feeling sorry for himself, when there was a shout from downstairs.

"Kon! There's a girl on the phone for ya!"

Kon scowled at the ceiling. Phone? It was probably Cassie. But what could she want. With a sigh he pushed himself out of bed, grabbing a shirt and putting it on as he walked downstairs.

"Ma, where's the phone?" He asked as he got downstairs, stopping in the kitchen where Ma Kent was aggressively kneading dough.

She pointed at a wireless phone on the counter so he grabbed it, stepping out onto the back deck.

"Hello?"

"Hi. I'm tired of playing babysitter, come pick Bart up."

"Cissie?"

"Yep. Hi."

"Wait, babysitter? What's going on?"

Cissie paused, speaking to someone else on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah. Max left Bart in my charge for the day and I can't handle his moping anymore."

"Moping? Bart, moping?"

"It doesn't sound believable, but come get him and you'll see."

"Okay, let me to ask Ma."

40 minutes later, Kon was landing outside Cissie's house, knocking on the door out of courtesy before walking in. He first thing he noticed was one Bart Allen laying on the sofa, staring at the tv.

"Bart?"

"Kon!"

And just like that the ginger was hugging him tightly, eyes squeezed close as he squeezed around Kon's stomach. Kon just grunted lightly and hugged Bart back.

"Hey, imp. What's with you? Sis said you've been moping?"

"I-" Bart pulled away, scowling. "Not moping."

Kon snorted, but scooped Bart up, tossing him over his shoulder easily. Bart squealed in protest, grabbing Kon's belt loops.

"Where's Cissie anyway?"

"Dunno."

Kon carried him through the house, not even bothered by his weight. He weighed like maybe a 100 pounds anyway. They found Cissie in her bedroom, painting her nails and listening to music.

"What are you doing? Leaving a child unattended like this?"

Cissie looked up, eyebrow raising.

"What are you doing? Carrying a child like a sack of potatoes?"

"He's not a child."

"You just called him a child!"

Kon just grinned at Cissie and she rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, feel free to take him home."

"Really, you're just gonna do that?" Kon asked, feeling shocked that Cissie would just dump Bart, one of her best friends, on him like this.

"Yeah. It's you he wants to hang out with anyway."

"Cissie!" Bart complained, bracing his hands against Kon's back.

"Am I wrong?!"

"Shut up!"

Okay what was going on here?"

"Just have him back by like, I dunno, what time was Max coming to get you?"

"Nine."

"Okay. Have him back by eight thirty."

So Kon ended up leaving with Bart.

They raced back to Kansas, causing sonic booms and destroying a few fields along their way, but Bart was laughing and having fun, so that's all that really mattered.

When they got back to the farm, Ma Kent immediately had some chores for them to do, so they spent a few hours doing that and then stumbled inside, crashing on Kon's bed, side by side, still giggling from something Kon had said. Bart looked over at him, going quiet, smiling softly.

"What?" Kon asked, not knowing that he was also smiling back.

"Nothing. I just missed you."

"Oh."

Silence. Bart's eyes were really gold.

Why were they gold?

Who knows, but they're gorgeous. Kon really likes his eyes.

And then he was leaning in and lightly kissing Bart.

There was this slight pause, before their lips met, where he was leaning in. They were just inches apart, breath mixing, noses almost touching. Kon looked up at Barts beautiful golden eyes, as they both hesitated. It would have only been a mere second for anyone without speed based powers, but for them, the moment stretched out for a while. Kon was waiting, giving Bart the opportunity to pull away, to set down boundaries.

But then Bart's eyes slid shut and he tilted his face up towards Kon. This was permission if Kon had ever seen it, and he closed the small distance, lightly pressing their lips together.

It was soft and sweet and timid. Bart's lips were slightly chapped, probably from all the running in the wind - could he get Tim or Wally to make a super hydrating chapstick formula? - but Kon couldn't care less, because he was kissing Bart.

Kon pulled away first, pulling back far enough to look at Bart, who was steadily grinning more and more, slowly pulling his eyes open.

"You-"

Then he giggled, and kept giggling, rolling away and pressing his face into the sheets.

"What?" Kon asked, confused. But Bart kept giggling and Kon frowned. "What?!"

Kon rolled over so he was practically laying on top of Bart, tickling him, causing him to laugh harder, squealing and trying to get away from Kon. Obviously he didn't actually want to, or he would have been on the other side of the room by now.

By the time Bart finally stopped laughing, they were both in stitches, just grinning at each other as they gasped for air.

"Okay, what was so funny?" Kon asked finally, once he could breathe properly.

Bart took a deep breath, staring up at the ceiling.

"I thought you were in love with Tim."

Kon blinked at him. "Oh."

Bart didn't respond, but did look over. Kon was silent for a bit.

"Which is. . . Honestly totally fair, because-"

Bart was rambling, but Kon was starting to realize that maybe, maybe, Bart had been in love with him.

"Bart-"

"And like, he's really pretty and I totally understand-"

"Bart."

"Because like, I'm kinda in love with him too."

"I like you both."

They had both spoken at the same time. There was about two seconds and then Bart was sitting up quickly, looking down at Kon.

"Could you run that by me one more time?" He asked, eyes wide.

"Uh. I like you both?"

Bart blinked at him, then grinned, flapping his hands slightly in excitement. Well, slightly for Bart. They were going slightly blurry.

"Oh my god I thought I was insane."

"What?"

Bart dove at him, and Kon grunted as Bart landed on his chest, chin on his breastbone.

"I thought I was crazy for being in love with both of my best friends. Well. Actually it's not that crazy for me. The future is like, super chill about relationships and stuff. But like, nowadays people think things like that are weird and-"

"Bart, what are you talking about?"

Bart scowled, looking away as he thought.

"Urggh, what's the current word for it?"

He scrunched up his nose, and Kon felt this pang of just pure emotions.

"Oh! Polyamory!"

Kon blinked once, then twice, then a third time. And it was clear Bart realized he may have made a mistake.

"Kon-"

"Wait. Like. Dating both of you?"

"Yeah, it's a thing in the future, I know a lot of people aren't comfortable with it and-"

Bart slid off of Kon, standing and starting to pace slightly.

"I just, I really like both of you and I want both of you and-"

Bart kept talking, but Kon was just staring at the wall now, thinking about this. Why had he never thought about this. Dating both Tim and Bart? It might be a little strange at first. And as Bart said, a lot of people probably aren't comfortable with it.

Bart had apparently out-worried himself and collapsed on the bed next to Kon, their legs touching as Bart looked up at him.

"Kon?"

"Yeah?" He asked, looking down.

"Can I kiss you again?"

Bart's golden eyes were wide and pleading. Puppy dog eyes. Who had taught that boy puppy dog eyes. Kon just ducked his head and pressed his lips to Bart's lightly. Bart sighed softly, pressing up into him.

"Boys?! Didn't Bart have to be back by eight thirty!?"

......

Tim was probably going to cry.

Okay not actually but he was kinda sad now so that's fine.

Reason for his sadness? Bart and Kon had gotten together two days ago.

Yup, you read that right. His two best friends who he's being incredibly gay for pretty much since he met them are now dating.

It's fine.

He's fine.

He's not.

When he had found out it felt like a knife through his chest. His breath had been stolen and he had wanted to cry, but he had to smile and fake that he was happy for them. They grinned back and would cling on each other and kiss each other and it was painful.

It was so painful.

And he didn't see the frowns and side glances and every little hint that they were doing this for his attention, to see how he'd react.

He was just heartbroken.

It would have sucked if had just been one. It had sucked when Kon and Cassie dated, but not quite like this did. Because he hadn't been in love with Cassie and he hadn't been in love Kon back then. But no  he was in love with both Kon and Bart and now they were together .

He kinda felt like crying.

He had gotten out of there as fast as possible, and sat on a gargoyle, staring off the roof and pretending he was patrolling.

He may have ended up avoiding Bart and Kon for the next few days, just because he can't. He couldn't be around them, and be with them and yet not with them.

It hurt so much because he thought that he and Kon had actually had something. He wasn't that dumb, he could tell when they were flirting. He knew that. He knew it happened a lot. And yet Kon had gotten with Bart.

He was jealous.

He was so jealous.

He hated how jealous he was.

He hated this so much.

"Why is he so difficult?"

"He's a brains over emotions, person, Bart. Patience."

"I'm not patient."

"I know," Kon said with a laugh, pulling Bart down into his lap.

Bart huffed, putting an arm around Kon's neck and pressing his forehead against Kon's head.

"What's wrong?"

They both looked up at Max as he walked in, raising an eyebrow at them.

"Tim."

Max raised an eyebrow, looking from his ward to Kon.

"Still trying to get him to date you two?"

"Yeah. He's avoiding us now."

"I think we should just go and talk to him," Bart grumbled.

"And I think we should give him space. He's clearly upset by us dating."

Max just nodded for a moment, sipping from the glass in his hand.

"Conner, I think I have to agree with Bart here. He's not going to realize what you want from him if you don't talk to him. Those Bats boys are like that."

The Max turned and walked out. Bart grinned at Kon smugly, and he just sighed

"Fine. Talk to him," he agreed. "Do you want to do it, since you did so good with me?"

"Yes! I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Wait, Bart-"

Bart kissed him and then disappeared in a shower of sparks. Kon sighed and shook his head, standing and picking up his backpack, calling a goodbye to Max as he walked out.

Tim nearly screamed when Bart appeared with a shower of sparks and a burst of wind, sending his papers flying.

"Oops!"

In another burst of light, the papers were gently replaced in their rightful spots. Tim sighed and looked up to Bart, who was now standing at his elbow, just in civilian wear.

"Bart?" He asked by way of a greeting, setting down his pencil.

"Hi! Watcha doing?"

"Homework."

"Oh. Boo. Homework is boring."

"Don't you have homework?"

"Technically yes, but Kon was over so I did it all super fast, don't tell Max though, and now I'm here because I want to talk to you!"

Tim raised an eyebrow, turning his desk chair to face Bart.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just wanted to ask you about something."

Bart hopped up on his desk, his little legs swinging. He was grinning, but he looked a little nervous, all the same.

"Okay. Shoot."

Bart hesitated.

Bart Allen hesitated.

This should have clued Tim in on what Bart was wanting to ask. It was apparently a very serious topic if Bart Allen hesitated to speak his mind.

"You know how Kon and I got together the other day?"

"I'm aware," Tim bit out, teeth clenched, trying to keep the scowl off his face. He wouldn't snap at Bart.

Bart bit his lip, looking down at the floor. He was hesitating again. And suddenly he looked a lot more nervous. Then he looked up, made eye contact with Tim, and then slid off the desk.

Before Tim could register what Bart was doing, the ginger had leaned down and was kissing him.

Tim shoved him off quickly, and was up, out of his chair and several steps back.

"What the hell?!"

"What?" Bart was staring at him with wide, worried eyes.

"Bart! You can't just do that! Not when you're dating Kon! What the hell?!"

Bart sighed, hanging his head and stepping back.

"I'm doing this wrong. Don't- just wait."

Tim scowled at him, putting his hands on his hips.

"What the hell is going on?"

Bart shoved a hand into his poofy hair, then turned to face Tim.

"We want you. We both want you. We want to be with each other, but we want to be with you, too."

Bart looked so sincere, and he looked scared. He was giving Tim this mixed look of fear, hope, love, and longing.

Tim went silent.

He hated to admit it, but his brain immediately went logical, examining all of the things Bart had just said to him, taking them apart word by word and making sure he fully understood what was happening. He looked at this with a very cynical thought process. And he ignored the part of his mind that was freaking out because of what Bart's proposal had meant.

"Tim?" Bart's voice asked, and now he mostly sounded scared. "If you don't- just let me know and I'll never mention it again."

Tim didn't respond.

They wanted to be with him. Clearly they had discussed this, and apparently quite a lot, if it had reached the point of actually bringing it up to Tim. Bart wanted to be with Tim, Kon wanted to be with Tim. Tim wanted to be with both of them. They could all date. Yes they'd have to hide it from the public, because people wouldn't approve of this type of relationship. But what did it matter. Tim already knew Dick would approve, and he suspected Bruce wouldn't have a problem with it. Maybe the Kent's would. But it's not like Kon cared what Clark said, Martha and Jonathan on the other hand. . .

Bart was still staring at him, wringing his hands, and Tim remembered that he needed to give some kind of reaction. Something. Anything before Bart started getting upset.

"Bart."

The ginger's head snapped up and Tim realized he was too late, Bart was already upset.

He walked over and grabbed Bart's hands, squeezing them, then moving his hands up to his face.

"Bart."

Bart blinked at him, his eyes weren't quite wet yet, but they were certainly close. Tim didn't know what to say. He wasn't good with emotions. So he leaned in and gently kissed Bart again. There was about a half a second of a pause and then Bart was eagerly pressing into him, hands grabbing onto Tim's arms, squeezing as they kissed. Squeezing as they backed up until Tim's shins hit his bed and they were toppling over, lips parted as their kiss deepened.

"Does this mean?" Bart breathed out, their breath mixing as he had just barely pulled away.

"I want it," Tim confirmed, and pulled Bart back in for another kiss.

Kissing Bart was exciting and new. It was like jolts of electricity running through him and yet soft and sweet and practically frustrating with how gentle it was. He wanted more and yet didn't want to lose this soft perfect kiss.

"Kon's gonna be so stoked," Bart mumbled, kissing Tim's jaw lightly.

"Tell him tomorrow," Tim told Bart, keeping his arms hooked over Bart's shoulders, keeping him down.

"Tomorrow."

Kon wasn't that surprised when Bart practically accosted him the moment he walked into the headquarters. He wasn't surprised when Bart leaned up and kissed him. He wasn't surprised when Bart pulled him away, into a side room they rarely used, that seemed a bit like an office.

He was surprised when Tim was sitting in front of a table, reading a book. And he was surprised when Bart zipped over to their fearless leader and bent down, kissing him gentle.

"Oh," Kon said, pieces falling into place. "Talk went well then?"

He shut the door behind him, and watched as Tim closed his book, standing.

"If you still want me," Tim said softly, glancing up and down over Kon.

"Of course, I do."

Kon walked over, grinning. He was happy. This was what he wanted. This was good. This was perfect. He put his hands on Tim's hips, tugging him in.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

Kon bent down and gently kissed him, and Tim was immediately pressing back into him.

"We're really gonna have to talk about sharing, aren't we?" Bart asked, and they both pulled away, laughing.

Yeah. This was going to be good. Kon could feel it. They would have their fights, and their bumps in the road. But it would be good. It would be worth it.

@core-disaster-week-2020

[denimbex1986]

but I do think this "relationship" is far from genuine as I've yet to see anything that proves such. // TBH every single ppl literally have different views about what is genuine relationship is, i dunno about them but they are too happy for me, something domestic and it's so hard to fake it even they both is an actor. But also in the same times i feel like something too much is not good. The way that they start to recording shit in every single way as possible they can, act private but also not private and such as that is just too orchestrated. I feel like she hold shit too well for a year and decided to shut all ppl off in 5 minutes vids and new paps that shows how happy and genuine they are( ngl, they both is really happy,imo). She gain a lot of followers obv because of that and how ppl simping them soo much because of that. If we simply said that the point they put all of this as a PR to help her being an actress in HW, i don't think it's works and she obv know that shit too. So pretty much there is no point for them to make fake PR rs for whatever reason. I also believe that why he is sooo happy is because he is scared being alone and suddenly he got someone who willingly move to another ocean just for him and stayed with him( who tf not fall in love with that kinda person?). And also i doubt that she is actually have a brain to talk back to him or critised him( and he hates someone to do that) sooo that why i think he thinks that she is so perfect for him and happy with that kinda condition as long as they being each other friends and can got some whenever they want to.

The whole "relationship" just screams "fake" to me and has from the very start, not at all helped by the fact that the first time we saw them it was on a yacht in the middle of nowhere with nothing and no-one else around; it was so obvious that it was a ridiculously staged/pap pic occasion.

Regarding your recording comment, it needs to be pointed out that that was all HER. Seb's video was, compared to hers, simple and highlighted, to me at least, that he didn’t and doesn't and give a damn about this "relationship" or her. It also showcased just how fake the whole thing is by, most notably, addressing several baits etc. that we went on to see after Seb shot the video, which was while he was locked down in New York and prior to him going to Ibiza and ending up with her on that yacht. Everything she recorded in and for HER video was clearly staged and/or recorded by someone else - she might as well have had a full-on camera crew trailing them for the past year. It should be obvious to everyone imo, just how orchestrated it was - like the relationship is - but again, everyone's entitled to an opinion and if some want to think this shitshow is real then that's up to them.

What makes me laugh is that all her efforts to get any real attention over the last year, particularly in terms of for and benefiting her "career", have failed SO spectacularly. No-one outside of Spain really gives a damn about her "acting" or has even the slightest bit of interest in the series she was a part of and she seemingly hasn't booked another, or any job, of note since she first arrived on the scene.

I want to make it clear that I do want Seb to be happy, I genuinely do, however I honestly believe that, with her, he is anything but. He has looked utterly miserable in all the pap pics etc (bar these latest ones in Spain, which only had to the "fakeness" of it all, imo) and sightings with her, and he's looked happier and healthier when there's been considerable distance between them, like when he was filming Fresh in Vancouver.

I have no doubt that Seb, like so many people, struggled with the lockdown, especially given the fact he lives alone, but I don't think her arrival in his life has benefited him positively in any way, notably because of all the problematic baggage she's brought with her, like her cultural appropriation. It has not done and isn't doing Seb any favours being associated with someone who is old enough to know that CA is utterly wrong and offensive, yet who hasn't apologised for doing it or taken down the pictures. To me, the fact that he is with someone so problematic only highlights the fact that this "relationship" is all a PR stunt, organised by CAA who he signed with just weeks before this all started. Of course I don't know Seb personally, but from what I've seen and heard of and from him over the years, he certainly doesn't strike me as someone who would willingly want to spend so much time with a woman like her, who has engaged in CA etc., because he's always come across as a kind, compassionate guy who wants to unite people, not divide or offend them as she has.

Regarding your ‘I doubt that she is actually have a brain’ remark, I have said in the past that I think she is far from smart, and the fact she engaged in and had yet to apologise for CA is one thing that proves that. I also think she is FAR from perfect for him - if anything I’m more of the opinion that, and this is only my opinion, given what I’ve seen/been witness to over the last year - she is the worst thing to happen to him in a very long time - across the whole time I’ve known about him for sure - but again, I understand that people can and do think differently to me, and that’s perfectly okay.