#she’s my one true love
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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i NEED her.
#please#if anyone has 3000€ to spare#to spend on me#i’ll be such a good boy for you#promise#i’ll do whatever you want#she’s my one true love#i’m so desperate#naw yk what i’m over it#i don’t even want her anymore#it’s fine#it’s whatever#nope#yeah#done
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hii, question: do you happen to have more "characters sheets" like then one you had on the last strilond post??? i showed it to my girlfriend, and needless to say, we love your designs, so we wanted to know if you perhaps could feed us with some?? [this is a beg]
Thank you!! And i kind of wanted to make one with the prospit kids but i figured my designs for them arent all that different from canon. But i suppose if youd like to see more here they all are! (and the universe groups, then some fun outfits :p)
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#homestuck#my art#jake english#jane crocker#jade harley#june egbert#dirk strider#roxy lalonde#rose lalonde#dave strider#beta kids#alpha kids#zan0tix#All of them are girls to varying degrees besides dirk Amen.#Also also i love how roxy in design always lacks details the other three have. I always try to stay true to that when i give her outfits#Shes the only one wearing a skirt- Shes the only one whose belt buckle isnt a solid shape- shes the only one lacking her signature colour#Shes the only one whose shoes arent full coverage. Shes the only one whose top isnt tucked in#NOBODY THINKS HARDER THAN ME!!! (insane)
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wilson saying “I need to do this. for you.” is fucking insane actually. in the same episode where house is deciding whether or not he should commit suicide as a result of wilson’s dying. They are each other’s lines between life and death. humans have a biological instinct to preserve their survival at all costs; house has an addiction that governs his life. but they were willing to forgo all of it for one another, because they couldn’t fathom it being any other way. IM SICK
#I know it’s fictional but there is nothing more meaningful and real than the desire to be loved by someone else more than anything#and it’s killing me#I was out by lac leman one day when I was seven when my mom told me that swans fly as high as possible#and fall to their deaths when their partner dies#and whether or not that’s true. it fundamentally changed my view of love tbh#my grandmother survived breast cancer for 10 years as well as covid#but died ONE DAY after losing the person she cared about most in this world#love transcends nature#and this show is a beautiful example of that#house md#greg house#gregory house#hatecrimes md#hilson#james wilson#house/wilson
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I saw an interesting post a while back that said “Capcom made us [Miles and Diego/Godot] only have like two(?) interactions because they knew we would be unstoppable with a brother dynamic” and tbh it stuck with me bc it was intriguing.
So yeah that potential brotherhood, but that Godot/Diego AU I made (that I still need a name for)
Also I bet Gregory Edgeworth would have smelled like a bit like coffee, and so Diego just reminds Miles of that comforting presence 😭 (the von Karma estate was a tea household, so he didn’t smell much coffee after DL-6 and didn’t realize how much he missed it/reminded him of his father)
#doctorsiren#ace attorney#ace attorney au#diego armando#prosecutor godot#miles edgeworth#comic#ace attorney fanart#good guy godot au#art#digital art#my art#fanart#procreate#loving the inconsistent styles for Miles in the panels HAHA#that post also made me think of an AU where after the Fawles case. miles goes to Diego asking for help because he can’t stop thinking about#what happened on the stand and he can’t go to his mentor bc he’s showing weakness and that’s not allowed#and essentially long story short. miles decided to drop prosecuting after one case and be a defense attorney and he asks Diego to protect#him from von karma and also to be his mentor#so it’s like Mia and Phoenix but it’s Diego and Miles and then after Diego gets poisoned. Mia has to mentor Miles and she’s a little#hesitant at first because of how cocky he was in that trial but she sees that he’s genuinely trying to be better#also Diego would ask miles: you’re trying to be what von Karma wants you to be…well..what do YOU want to be?#and miles would answer: I want to be my dad#JUST LIKE IN MY 1985 ANIMATIC#ANYWAYS I’M BRAINROTTING SO HARD RN EXCUSE ME LMAO#ALSO MY FRIEND SAID THAT IN THIS AU (the one in the post) DIEGO AND PHOENIX ARE ENEMIES TO BROTHERS#and that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day it’s such a funny statement AND IT’S TRUE!!!!
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family resemblance.
--
prints
wolf's story (left)
ash's story (right)
#love and war#who says murder cant be a productive mother daughter bonding activity#just kidding#they dont have that sort of relationship#(for any newcomers - wolf is one of ash's mothers. in a sort of conceptual way. theyre not actually genetically related.)#ive missed doing rendered illustrations#comics are my true love but i cant lie. the shading process is therapeutic#also#ash ends up taller being than both her mothers when she grows up#important information#once again thank you for indulging my oc brainrot#i appreciate it#oc art#hearteaters#stillindigo art
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GUESS WHOS BACK W MORE ASK-SPIDERPOOL FANART?? THATS RIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS!! ME. GET HIT W MS. LOVE FANART💥💥💥💥💥
#once every blue moon i gotta go back to my true tumblr roots lmao#look at her i love her sm#dont let my intense jash posting fool you guys#anita is always in a little corner somewhere in my mind#shes sitting in her tiny dressing room getting ready for when ill inevitably obsess over her fully once again#and when that happens ill be the equivalent of that one very loud person cheering way too enthusiastically at a fancy theater performance#also yes my filthy lil headcanons made their way into this#wade w heterochromia my beloved....#starsfanarts#starsfanarts: deadpool#anita lotta love#deadpool#wade wilson#ask spiderpool
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The
Only
Time
I
Feel
Safe
Is
When
I’m
With
You
#that line did me in 😭#it's so true in so many moments#i love that Michonne got to voice this and express that her husband is her truest safe space#danai the woman and the writer that you are - she deserves ALL the flowers ����#a million things make me so emotional about towl and episode 4 in particular - my mind is still spinning from how spoiled we've been 🥹#richonne#twd towl#danai gurira#rick grimes#michonne grimes#the ones who live#reflecting on richonne#thoughts
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I love how Epic is a story about how sometimes, you change in ways you can't undo. Sometimes it's a choice, and sometimes it's something that happens to you; often, it's both. And in some ways, you may be made worse. You may make mistakes. You may become someone you don't recognize, and you may not like who you now see in the mirror. You might lose your old self in the process of surviving.
But when you do, the people who love you will still be there. Not because of who you used to be, or how you might heal or become better, or out of ignorance of who you now are. Just because they love you, and you do not need to be perfect to be loved. You just need to be there.
And they'll be waiting for you.
#epic the musical#epic the ithaca saga#meta#epic the ithaca saga spoilers#odysseus#because odysseus is accepted at the end. he is different. he is not the same man penelope fell in love with. he sees himself as a monster.#but she loves the hands she no longer knows#because she knows who they belong to.#and that's what it's all about.#to come home as you are...the prodigal son and the chosen people and the love God has for us. for me. that's what it is.#yes i'm making gospel connections to this greek mythology because it's the One True Myth (per tolkien)!! it just means a lot to me ok :''')#anyways yes this gave me a lot of feelings and i hope it did for you too. would love to talk about it more and probably will lol#send asks if you have them i wanna gush about this musical#kay has a party in the tags#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#my meta posts#kay is a musical theater nerd
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a hastily thrown-together good omens shitpost made with my actual real life text message conversations
(here’s part 2)
#imagine wlw says ‘angel’. I’m a lesbian and I’m too lazy to try and make that one work lol#I didn’t want to include too much of other ppl’s responses to my messages bc privacy but yeah#anyway true story I literally asked this girl (my best friend whom I was in love with) to run away with me#like as a joke (but tbh I would have probably done anything she asked me to lmaoo)#and she was like yeah!!! then she ghosted me like 2 weeks later :)#aksjksjdkdj#metatron one doesn’t rly fit but whatever#good omens 2#good omens#aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable husbands#crowley#ineffable lovers#go2#ineffable wives#good omens season 2#good omens shitpost#shitpost#good omens tv#David tennant#Michael sheen#the metatron#ineffable divorce#ineffable dumbasses#ineffable idiots
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my shimamatsu artbook came in so i finally got to see the rest of the unreleased teacher set...
scans of gym teacher oso from this set can be found here!
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choro's a math teacher, which i feel like is pretty fitting for her. they drew her very cute, peak froggy expression.
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ichi's a science teacher, like in teacher matsu merch by movic. he's also setting a bad example for his students by wearing open-toed shoes which is against standard lab safety rules, for shame smh.
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jyushi is an art teacher! very cute, he's definitely fitting the bill of the zany art teacher stereotype.
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totty's an english teacher. he's really meant it when he said he doesn't want to work bc he's giving us NOTHING in that awakened art. his outfits are very cute, though.
" gee, mj. where's kara? wasn't he the one you were the most curious about? " wELL. i waited to share him last bc...
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when i tell you that i opened to this page in art book to find this set, saw kara, and then immediately closed the book...
he's a japanese / literature teacher, which i do think fits. ( still such a missed opportunity to have him as a music teacher... ) * puts my face in my hands * he's such a dork.
#sorry these aren't the best pictures i still need to figure out how to scan bound books with my scanner aaa#ngl kara not being a music teacher here like i was hoping is really tempting me to make him one in kuroba's teacher au...#but idk i'm really attached to him being an english teacher in that au i already have headcanons for how he interacts with his students...#also i'm using she/her for choro bc she's transfem to me. do not question me further. /lh#the movic merch is still my fave version of them as teachers#the only leg up this set has is oso being a gym teacher#that's so true in my heart i love the idea of him becoming a gym teacher in the future...#seriously tho why is kara the only one with different hair it's fucking me up#osomatsu-san#osmt#shimamatsu#choromatsu#ichimatsu#jyushimatsu#todomatsu#karamatsu#official
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Been thinking about the X-Files recently. A show I have a hazy, but fond memory of.
#the x files#x files#fox mulder#dana scully#poorly drawn x files#is this going to be a thing? maybe?#iirc: The x-files is about two FBI agents who are trying so hard to be professional and not fall in love. And everything is a conspiracy.#...It *has* been nearly a decade since I saw the x files. I think I'd have a hard time rewatching for a few reasons but I did enjoy it.#This was initially just a work doodle I wasn't going to clean up#but the amount of x-files fans that Ive seen about + Lazycranberryart's wangxian x-files art got my brain too fired up.#Mulderscully vibes are like: "I'm her silly rabbit. she doesn't call me that outloud. But I believe in my heart it's true.'#Its about having faith and trust in each other! They might not always agree either but they have each other's backs!#Scully is 100% the one that kills the spiders in the relationship. Mulder wants to rescue them but his ideals aren't strong enough#Girl Daddy and Baby Girl Boy. That's who they are to me.
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If it were me, I'd be sad. But I'd continue living. I wouldn't wait.
#century of love#century of love the series#daou pittaya#offroad kantapon#daouoffroad#san x vee#centuryofloveedit#thai bl#thai drama#bl drama#bl series#aejeonghae#i don't remember who it was (one of my lovely mutuals?)#but someone suggested that vee isn't wat at all#but vee's grandma is#which would work so wonderfully#i want this theory to be true#that it wasn't ever wat who was san's fate#or maybe she was and now things have changed#because change is the nature of all things#by pharawee
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Fire is catching!!
#MY ONE TRUE LOVE KATNISS MWUAH MWUAH#She slays always I love her fr fr#art#fanart#digital art#fan art#my art#the hunger games#hunger games#the hunger games catching fire#catching fire#katniss everdeen#hunger games fanart
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I fear Kevin Day is the type of person whose struggle always came second. He funcioned enough that while everyone knew he wasn't alright, it was also nobody's problem, as someone else was actively having a harder time and they took precedence. He internalises all his problems and keeps going and going but he is fueled by alchool and sheer desperation a 100% of the time. If he were to stop for even a second he wouldn't know how to start again.
Did he ever, at somepoint in his life -away from the ex foxes, a pro player, married to Thea- wish he had it worse, just so that maybe it would have been his turn being saved? Being first? How badly would he feel, just one second after thinking it, because he knows damn well he has enough trauma to fill a stadium and he isn't actually jealous of his friends that had it worse, he isn't . That's a fucked up thing to think, stop it, stop it.
Would he still drink himself into a stupor to shoote the ache, to banish the thought? That's the help he got, when he was at his worst, a drink, and then two, and then a thousand. And it worked, it made him go, it picked him up when he was down, and now he can't get down without crashing.
Did he wish to be saved? Did he hope somebody, anybody, took the time and put in the effort to help him, just because they saw him down, not because he begged, but because they noticed he could use a hand. Or two, actually. Was it torment, to always be under the spotlight, yet never been seen? Did he run toward fame hoping the more eyes on him meant it would be easier to be noticed?
#this spurred from a series of posts about kevin always fumbling the men in his life#and yeah. he really is always second place#he supposedly ends up with thea which. what the fuck.#to me that alone speaks volumes about how out of everyone in aftg he is the one that starts and end basically at the same level of struggle#this is also about the part in the EC where he talks to wymack about Bee#and look i love bee and Andrews’s relationship he really does deserve her#but kevin is right to say that she is his and he can't have her#they text each other#kevin needs and deserves to have his own therapist#someone that is his alone#it breaks my heart to think about this boy#he wont even ask for it#he says: she's Andrew's#and that's it to him#it is true and unchangeable and nothing can be done ablut it#and never thinks okay maybe someone else could be to me what she is to him#and no one else says it either#im sleep deprived this is killing me i had to get it out#kevin day#you deserve the world#nobody even wanted to listen to you talk about history#you are easier to deal with when drunk#you don't have to words nor will to fight them on either of these fronts#you ask once and when you are denied you neverask again dont you#aftg#these are the types of people that end up killing themselves and everyone is surprised at first and then goes...oh yeah he had a hard time#but we couldn't imagine it was that bad#we wish he told us
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Okay but? Arya's training is going to make it so fascinating to see how she comes across in other POVs. She knows how to rule her face so she doesn't give away her emotions, how to tell and detect lies, and now has the added experience of her apprenticeship with mummers. Everything about her interactions with others will be incredibly intentional on her part and I need to see what that looks like to other characters.
#arya stark#asoiaf#we're so getting Arya putting on her /Lady's face/ and I'm so here for it#also one of the reasons I think the back and forth between her and Tyrion will be very entertaining#I think he'll be crafty enough to see beneath her mask and intentionally try and provoke reactions from her#love that her skills are still blended with her personality though...there'd literally be no point if she loses what makes her /Arya/#still on my /Arya will accept her identity as a Lady but define the role in her own way/ agenda 🫶🏾#we get an Arya that learns to act more /refined/ by social standards but isn't afraid to speak her mind and be her true non-conforming self
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