#and it’s killing me
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wilson saying “I need to do this. for you.” is fucking insane actually. in the same episode where house is deciding whether or not he should commit suicide as a result of wilson’s dying. They are each other’s lines between life and death. humans have a biological instinct to preserve their survival at all costs; house has an addiction that governs his life. but they were willing to forgo all of it for one another, because they couldn’t fathom it being any other way. IM SICK
#I know it’s fictional but there is nothing more meaningful and real than the desire to be loved by someone else more than anything#and it’s killing me#I was out by lac leman one day when I was seven when my mom told me that swans fly as high as possible#and fall to their deaths when their partner dies#and whether or not that’s true. it fundamentally changed my view of love tbh#my grandmother survived breast cancer for 10 years as well as covid#but died ONE DAY after losing the person she cared about most in this world#love transcends nature#and this show is a beautiful example of that#house md#greg house#gregory house#hatecrimes md#hilson#james wilson#house/wilson
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Imagine if Thorin’s heart was a smidge less guarded. He loved Bilbo from the minute he set foot into his home but just image them being able to love and live on their journey. We see their longing but never see it truly come to fruition. Imagine their late nights at the campfire as Bilbo’s hair grows longer and Thorin manages to work braids into the silken strands, quietly whispering about each other's customs and courting. Imagine them, side by side on their horses, unable to keep their eyes to themselves. Imagine Kili and Fili accidently calling Bilbo ‘Uncle’ but it sticks because Bilbo is family now. Imagine Thorin, deep in his gold sickness, still being able to braid Bilbo’s hair. Imagine that braid being the last thing Thorin touches before he dies, leaving it soaked in his blood. Imagine Bilbo’s breakdown when he realizes he has to take the braid out and can never get that love back. Can you imagine?
#because i can#and it’s killing me#bagginshield#bilbo baggins#angst#these two are eating me alive#thorin oakenshield
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“I’m glad things are back to normal” says Peter
“Me too” says Neal
While they are both LYING through their TEETH to each other!!!
#THIS SHOW IS MAKING ME INSANE#I AM. UNWELL.#FUCK#cause they’re trying? ok? they’re trying. they’re bad at it but they’re trying#but Neal can’t help but be Neal. a thief. a forger. a con man.#and Peter can’t help but be Peter. fbi agent. straight laced. knows Neal better than anyone#Neal lies because that’s who he is and Peter distrusts him because that’s who HE is#and neither can (or should) take the other at face value#all they know is how to lie to each other#and it’s KILLING ME#white collar#m speaks#m watches white collar
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if anyone has a spare 100 bucks lying around send it my way 🙏🙏
#please i’m begging#they’re literally the cutest things ever#why do they have to be so expensive I swear#I don’t have the money to fund my obsessions#and it’s killing me#nendoroid#nendoroids#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki k#sasaki to miyano#cells at work#sk8#sk8 the infinity#haikyuu#jjk#jujutsu kaisen
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actually on the verge of a mental fucking breakdown but it’s cool
#the little girl inside of me is screaming#and crying#and burning the house down#i’m so fucking hurt dude#when is this feeling going to go away#i got ditched and left in the dust#imagine being abandoned#by the person who wept to you#about literally being abandoned#what the fuck kind of uno reverse card is that#the only way i can cope is by writing#even after the disgusting shit they said to me#i can’t help but make art#that’s the funny thing about love#even if you may want it to#it doesn’t dissipate#at least not right away#and it’s killing me#txt#mp#mine
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Why is planning a story so HARD
#I feel like I don’t have a cohesive story I have an anthology#and it’s killing me#because to focus on one of my guys I’d have to ditch the rest of them#lea talks
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What if this time, I write a fic focusing on Hannibal’s desire for praise, but only from Will? Because it’s hollow from everyone else, but Will actually sees him, and his praise is so sparingly doled out. A fic about Hannibal desperately trying to get Will to give him any little compliment. What if I did that?
#fic ideas#I’m suffering from obsession#can you tell?#incurable#terminal#all consuming#I just need to write another fic where Hannibal wants to be Will’s good boy#and it’s killing me#stay tuned for insanity
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Cries in I’m so fatigued and burnt out that I’m mixing up the times of things and making mistakes
#AAAAH#I’m practically carrying this group project on my shoulders#and it’s killing me#today I completely screwed up communicating what time the meeting was gonna be#I already have a rough time with numbers and times and stuff like that#but now it’s even worse#my brain cells are noping out of here at this point#trin rambles#vent#I’m gonna get through though I’M GONNA#I say as I pry my eyeballs open for the hundredth time
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Really missed this comic so it’s repost #1!
Mob! Colt belongs to @thelone-copper and Mob! Home (and the whole au) is @clownsuu’s :)
#I really like the Mob Home blurb Clown gave us; where he really only shows up when one of his followers is dying#homie really Jsut says ‘nah y’ain’t done yet’#I’m still super proud of this tbh#tiny Poopet looks so cute#Colt was so so worried :(#Poppet got turnt#really wanna redo the dialogue on this tho#but damn dialogue is hard and I’m tired#also clown I’m stealing your catchphrase#‘I have such bad artblock rn’#/hj#seriously though#I haven’t drawn in a hot minute#and it’s killing me#Poppet spring#colt cattlemen#welcome home mob au#welcome home home#mob home#mob poppet#mob colt#repost#phresties#phrart#art#character design#welcome home oc#welcome home
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Baylan and Shin’s parting
The scene that has upset (me) or confused (also me) most people. A chunk of people, who I respectfully disagree with, have said that Baylan is “abandoning” Shin. While I agree she definitely feels abandoned, I do not believe that is or ever would be Baylan’s intention. I just don’t think it works.
There’s an obvious amount of care (love, you could say) in their relationship. They’re not your typical competitive Sith master / apprentice relationship or Jedi master / padawan where feelings like that were repressed. They’re not mercenaries who were put together for a job or purely for the selfish gain of power. Shin has been under his wing as his padawan, borderline his child, for a long time.
He’s very protective of her as we see most notably in episode 4 when he ‘kills’ Ahsoka because she threw Shin into a rock. That sort of protection that drives you to kill someone (I don’t believe his original intention was to kill her—it was that that set him off) doesn’t come from a lack of love or lack of a relationship.
Their first scene on Peridea is another to consider. They’re comfortable, open, and vulnerable. Shin’s tone when she says “I know no such stories (shoutout to the person who made that post about Baylan telling Shin stories about the Jedi when she was younger. i still think about you)” is a sarcastic tone, almost teasing. They both comfortably smile and are way more relaxed being around just each other. Shin asks him questions without fear and Baylan answers without hesitation.
So, no, I don’t believe he’s abandoning her.
Now, nothing is known for sure. What exactly does he hear? What exactly does he see? What vision does he have?
Hopefully we get that answer, but my (and maybe most of you) bigger concern is why part from Shin for a wasteland and some power (yes yes we know he wants the ‘beginning’ but that’s still kinda VAGUE)?
Again, don’t know the truth, just throwing out ideas. i cant wait to be wrong on every front and be completely humbled tuesday night lolol
For one, he’s sensed and understood her questions and doubts and is actually considering them. He’s recognizing “OK, she doesn’t see all that I do”. He isn’t saying “Nope, I’m forcing you to join me in this”. He’d be a jackass if he did that. Since he seems pretty sold on staying on Peridea for… whatever it is he believes is there, he’s letting her go so she can, in turn, find her footing and take her place in the coming empire. Yes, he doesn’t know if that’s even what she wants, but Shin hasn’t exactly told him what she would want. All she’s mentioned (I think) was about leaving Peridea since Thrawn is desperate to leave as well.
Either way, he’s considering her and letting her go her own way instead of forcing her into a future with him that she obviously isn’t interested in.
Two, Baylan actually knows a lot more than he’s letting on and sees something that is… dangerous. Something he doesn’t want Shin exposed to. Something he knows is dangerous and he’s trying to keep her from (so she doesn’t suffer the same fate as his last padawan—if it’s true, of course). This one seems more selfish than some other thoughts. It can even fit other fandoms—he’ll go into it guns blazing for himself despite its dangers, but not her.
Three, which is just a bit of a vaguer, rephrased Two, he can’t / doesn’t want to lose another padawan if he can help it.
“Oh, then why’d she even follow him to Peridea? Why’d Baylan even let her come if he was going to abandon her anyway?”
He’s her master. Of course she’s going to follow him. It’s the guy she’s known longer than anyone else in her life. Her master, her father figure. Why wouldn’t she follow him? Why wouldn’t she stick it out for him? And, again, don’t believe at all that it’s abandonment or even something that was planned. It seemed very spur of the moment—like an off screen decision being made in Baylan’s head. Parting from her wasn’t something on his bucket list he was waiting to check off.
Fourth, the “ambition” that Baylan said was driving Shin is her willingness (not the word im looking for please read my mind) to embrace the dark side compared to himself. If he truly wants to bring an end to the Jedi v Empire back-and-forth, he’ll stay more Gray. So, he parts from her to give her that freedom. It’s the thing that drives them apart.
There’s even more ways to try and understand why, im sure. These are just word vomits and nothing to be taken as truth.
While I don’t at all believe Baylan’s intention was to abandon her, leave her for dead, etc, I definitely agree that Shin does feel abandoned.
Was the decision easy for Baylan? Highly doubt it. I don’t think he would watch her go, take a deep breath in, and roll his shoulders if it was easy. I don’t think he’d look around after Ahsoka stole his howler and debate going back for her if it was an easy decision. I don’t think he’d wait on the hill to keep watch and protect from a distance if he didn’t care.
I think one thing is for sure. Baylan thinks he’s doing what’s best when it’s really not. Shin looked like a kicked dog when Ahsoka offered to help—and whether that’s because she was reminded of 30 minutes prior on the hill beside him, or 15 years prior when Baylan stood above her and offered his help that started them on their journey (yari put this thought in my noggin), it hurts all the same.
I just hope the finale clears something up
#coherency? don’t know her#I am expecting his death#and it’s killing me#also#meant to mention#I do agree that the parting is abrupt#shin is very caught off guard by it#hence her reaction of course of ‘you won’t help?’#and then baylans explanation#but also#if he were to preface and be like ‘hey listen’ and then go on a spiel#they’d never make it to Sabine and Ezra and they were their goal so#I don’t know#I WANT CLEAR ANSWERS#NOT RANDOM THEORIES THAT CIRCLE AROUND EVERY FIVE MINUTES IN MY BRAIN THAT I CANT LAND ON#im going insane ok#ahsoka tv#baylan skoll#shin hati
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i have to be so honest, i’m only looking at the slut (affectionate) that is daniel jean louise marie wagner
#god he’s so fine#so beautiful#they’re all so good looking#and it’s killing me#greta van fleet#gvf#josh kiszka#josh gvf#jake kiszka#jake gvf#sam kiskza#sam gvf#danny wagner#danny gvf
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So im just going trough my old stuff cause I’m moving and then I stumble upon the most atrocious detective Conan fanfiction I’ve ever seen written by my 14 year old self in the middle of class cause I was a little shit…
Like it’s really not that great but I gotta respect 14 year old me for never getting caught and having the determination to write all that stuff down by hand…
But now I also wanna read it again cause you know memories and shit, might even translate it to English cause I don’t know how active the German detective Conan community is on here lol
#detective conan#dcmk#magic kaito#edogawa conan#kudo shinichi#kaito kid#i have this thing here called kids last heist#like what was 14 year old me thinking#it also got the whole cast#like all 3/4 detectives#and it’s not even finished#and I don’t remember the ending#so now I have to guess#and it’s killing me#lol#also there’s one with Kazuha getting shot#wtf#Ok but I was a big Kazuhei shipper#still am#definitely gonna translate that shit
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I may watch that Percy Jackson show
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i’m gonna write the thing !!!! i say as i run headfirst into a brick wall
#HELP ME#i have a commission I haven’t finished yet#and it’s killing me#i feel so bad but personal stuff paired with the usual cocktail of mental illness and adhd is letting me do SHIT#*isn’t#personal
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Bought silk pyjamas today and they’re sooooo comfy I need Jase’s approval
#I literally cannot do anything without my imagination somehow bringing Jason into this#and it’s killing me
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