#all consuming

[howifeltabouthim]

I wanted, just once in my life, for someone to kiss me like that, with such focus, such desire. And I wanted, just once, to kiss someone like that too. Not because they were around, not because I felt like I should. But because something voracious inside of me wouldn't be satisfied until I'd pressed myself against them.

Laura Hankin, from The Dreamers

[goosetowns]

the violent and ravenous human feeling to be seen and loved

[writersblockedx]

All Consuming: Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven: Alienation 

Pairing - Tenth Doctor x Fem!Reader Summary - By pure accident, Y/n comes across something she shouldn't have. Warnings - A lot of angst, mentions of death and violence Words - 1.8K

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The Doctor was seated alone as he awaited Y/n's return. Before they were able to slip out of the hospital, the patient had been bombarded by serval nurses, demanding that she stay put and be cared for. And no matter how much each of them would have liked that, they couldn't stay, any longer and the Pilot Fish or the Bane would have been able to gather her location and would already be on their way.

The doors to the TARDIS swung open and Y/n wandered inside, a variety of drugs in her hold. "I've got something called Tremadali, Andonsetroin and a bunch of other stuff!" She grinned as she raised her head from reading the labels to glance over at the boy.

The Doctor hummed and walked over to her, taking the bottles into his hold. He flicked the lid of the Tremadali sniffed the inside and winced, "You probably shouldn't have that." He said, almost to himself as he put the bottle into his coat pocket. Then he took the Andonsetroin and did the same, flicking the lid and sniffing the insides. "Definitely don't take that!" Again, putting the bottle into his coat. He looked over everything else and shrugged, "They should be fine. Average painkillers. Just don't take too many of them."

And like that, he spun, shrugged his coat off and placed it over the control panel, ready to leave once more. "I'd say you're no Doctor but, well..." She trailed off as her gaze returned to the man who showed no enthusiasm or no sign of a witty reply. Something of which she had become normalised to lately. "Doctor? Is everything alright?" She questioned him. He paused and fought to keep his gaze on the girl without guilt trying to drag him away. Something of which had only pulled Y/n in closer. "If this is about earlier, if this is about the kiss, then I'm sorry, I truly didn't mean for it to-"

"No, God no, it's not that." He cut her off as they faced one another again. "You are extortionary, you're brilliant, so brilliant in fact that technically you shouldn't exist right now." He went on with soft eyes and an even softer expression. "Even if every thought in my brain is telling me that you shouldn't be in front of me right now, I can't help but agonise over the fact I might lose you."

A light smile passed across the girl's face as her hands reached up, cupping the sides of his cheeks, "If I've worked out anything recently, it's that if anyone going is to save me, it'll be you, Doctor."

He nodded before a wide grin spread over his lips and he retracted from her touch. "Come on then!" He beamed as if his previous words hadn't been ones of despair. "We need to keep moving."

Y/n followed him over to the controls, as she held onto the bannister. The Doctor did his usual flicking of switches and pushing of leavers before the TARDIS was travelling somewhere new within time and space.

When it landed, and they both settled back on their feet, the Doctor practically bolted for the exit. All without an info dump on where they were - and how safe they might be. "Well?" Y/n questioned before he couldn't quite reach the doors. He halted to turn and faced her, raising his brows, "Not going to tell me where we are? What planet? What year? What species?"

He shook his head with a grin, happy to be hiding this from her. "No, not this time. Thought I'd make it a surprise. You can guess where we are." He gleamed as he slipped out the doors and waited for Y/n to follow him.

She was just about to jog for the doors, just as he had, when her gaze spotted something. Still hung over the TARDIS controls was his coat. "One second!" She called out to him before walking back over and grasping the material of which he had so easily forgotten.

She flung the coat over her arm, stopping once more as a thud came from her feet. Her gaze dragged downwards, a small file now on the floor which had fallen from one of the many pockets in the Doctor's coat. Y/n leaned down and scooped it up. Her eyes scanned it and her curiosity grew. She probably should have put it back in the coat, ignored it and pretended as if she had never seen it. It wasn't her's, so it wasn't her business. What she had yet to realise, was that this file was hers, in fact, if she were to flick to the first page, she would have been greeted with her name in print.

A passing thought said that her and the Doctor were close enough now. A passing thought of which she obliged. Doing so, she saw the first page and she saw her name. Many questions flooded in. First of being, what was this exactly? And second being, why hadn't the Doctor told her already?

She flicked to the next page and suddenly found her eyes beginning to water. There stared back at her were the test results of the blood tests. These blood tests were then stated as having 'high levels of radiation'. Something of which Y/n didn't need to be a Doctor to know was not a good thing. The same tests which the Doctor had protested had told him nothing, nada.

In short, the Doctor had lied to her.

"Y/n? We haven't got all day!" Gleamed the Doctor as he entered the TARDIS once again. He stopped half way as he caught the sight of Y/n's hands on his coat, and then on the file. "Y/n-"

"You've been keeping this from me?" Her voice choked over the words before they finally entered the air.

The Doctor took a cautious step closer, like he was walking over land mines. "I was going to tell you-"

She cut him off again, "Really? Because I didn't get that impression when you said that the tests had told you nothing!" She looked back to the page and quoted, "High levels of radiation? You didn't think that was something worth telling? You told me to trust you, you told me that you would keep me safe." She paused as she shook her at her naivete.

"I'm sorry. Believe it or not, not telling you was me trying to keep you safe." He said as he took another cautious step closer.

"Is that what you're telling yourself?" She questioned. "Because to me it just sounds like your lying. Who knows what else you're lying to me about? I mean you can't even tell me your real name, you seem to know more about outer space than you do Earth, I mean for all I know-" She stopped herself. She knew. All off a sudden she knew and he could see it on her face. "Oh my god. You're not some spy, you don't work for torchwood. All this technology, that talk of how easily aliens can blend into humans. That wasn't just advice, it was because you are one."

Y/n wasn't sure how she had gone so long knowing him, travelling with him, and only now had that realisation dawn on her. "You lied to me."

"Technically, I never actually told you I was human." He tried to defend.

"Nows the time you want to get smart?" She quipped and he chose it best to keep quiet. "God I- I kissed you and now-" She could barely get a grip on this information. It had all flooded her brain far too quickly and she found that she struggled to keep up. "I told you about my parents. I told you what happened to them and you didn't even have the decency to say that you were one of them too!" This time, her words were littered in sorrow and her eyes were glossy, the vision she had of the Doctor not as clear as it had been before.

"I was there that day, alright? I was the one that stopped the sycorax." He explained, though in such a time, Y/n was certainly not in the mood to listen.

So her head shook and, in a battle to not believe the Doctor, she stuck to what she knew. "No, that was the prime minister, that was Harriot Jones. I know, they showed me the files, had to sign a contract and everything. The Pilot Fish had only come to Earth for some time lord or something-" For the second time, she came to a sudden realisation. "Oh, no..."

"I was the one that stopped them, that sent them away from Earth. Harriot Jones was the one who killed them." He took another step, more certain of that one than ever as they became only meters apart. "Y/n, do you understand what I'm saying?"

Their eyes met through tears, "You were the reason the Pilot Fish were on Earth. You're the reason they killed my parents." At that point, the girl hadn't a care for the tears that had fallen. Though, now, she wasn't letting the Doctor get close enough to wipe them away. "I can't-" Her words were a stumbling mess. She had put trust in a man simply because he had asked her to, and now she had to face such a naive mistake. One glance, and it was like Y/n was staring at her parent's gravestones again. "I want to go home." She finally decided.

"I can't do that." He told her - something she already knew and an answer of which she had expected. "You know it's not safe for you on Earth-"

"I need to leave." She interjected before he could continue his lecture. "I can't be here anymore. I can't- I can't be near you." Her voice shot through the air and the Doctor was in no place to argue. Even if he wanted to, he could tell she was in no mood to negotiate. For now, he'd have to let her go.

"I won't put you in any more danger." He said.

She sniffled, attempting to conceal any more tears. "Fine." She replied and shoved the file back into his coat and pushed into against his chest. Once the Doctor took it, she walked passed him. And she kept going until she exited the TARDIS.

She wasn't home. She wasn't anywhere she knew. But she was away from him.

-

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[kuteon]

hang on did you miss tumblr's death knell?

i’ve been absent for like four months so catch me up on the lore ig

[euesworld]

"Thoughts of you consume me, you are all consuming.. sue me, I just want it to be you and me."

Every second that I am away from you, I just want you right here with me - eUë

[simplyscarlet]

I like things a perfectly normal amount

Mom: You like [insert thing] too much, you need to like other things

Me: How you like something too much, I don't get it

Rando kids at school: You're psycho you're obsessed with [thing]

Me: I don't understand I'm just vibing with this thing

Dad: If you like something that much then you shouldn't be liking it

Me: That makes no sense

The internet: Hey do you think that maybe you like this thing too much?

Me: Why do I keep hearing this, I like this thing a perfectly normal amount

Friend: I just don't know what feels like to be a passionate as you are. I mean, I like things, I have things I'm really interested in, but I don't know if I like them the way you do.

Me: My therapist says that's of clinical relevance

Friend: Wow Scarlet one day I hope I can like a thing as much as you do

Me: Yeah my therapist says that's called autism

[writingandbleeding]

"If I cannot have tenderness I will match the viciousness of the world. I will break the silence that suffocates me. I will bite the hand that refuses to feed me. Who has the ferocity to love a vicious flame of a girl like this?"

-V.L. Aster

[s0up1ta]

toxic yaoi or something idk i haven't watched gravity falls

[howifeltabouthim]

Online, the hours passed like seconds. Months disappeared this way. Yet I would be hard-pressed to tell you what happened in my real life.

Rachel Khong, from Real Americans

[nvraln]

When I wake up depressed I try my best not to latch myself onto that thought stream. Rather, i try to show myself compassion, show that part love and acceptance.

Somedays it's just so present, it feels as if it's consumed me and I can't find any other way of being.

[writersblockedx]

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO FIND THE CUTEST DAVID TENNANT GIFS AND THEN USE IT FOR THE MOST TRAUMATIC CHAPTERS😭😭😭😭

I love being deceptive

[doydoune]

i hate them so much why are they like this

[goddessofsteel]

Here’s the link! Sad I can’t actually save it but I’ll leave this here and go in the corner to cry

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMr12urJu/

[the-muppet-joker]

My liege, how do you remain positive in a world so cruel?

There is a lot of despair right now. I do not wish to add for it. A lot of things can be taken from me, but I will remain hopeful and silly and filled with love for the people I care about. They will not take away my joy

[sanpape]

just listened to body by mother mother. don't think I'll recover.

[monotcchi]

dragon roast dreamin' 🍖💨✨