#she’s completely tied to blitz

[bloomeng]

as a viewer i enjoy helluva boss (albeit casually) and i usually leave any deeper thoughts on the matter at the door but the “Millie Problem” is so apparent that it’s hard to ignore

in general it’s sad how little development all of vizzie’s female characters get and yes i think this includes hazbin (which i suppose isn’t completely fair bc the show isn’t out yet but still)

[flower-boi16]

Helluva Boss is Really Bad at Creating Compelling Drama

I mean, I think we all already knew this, but the latest episode truely showed how Helluva fails at this, especially in it's second season. For one, the drama feels artificial.

I've talked about this before, but a major issue with both of Viv's shows is that she constantly uses daddy issues as a way to artificially create drama within the story. Helluva Boss is especially bad at this; daddy issues are constantly used as an easy way to create conflict within the show, and at that point it starts becoming repetive and tiresome. Like, really? ANOTHER character with daddy issues?

The drama never feels natural or remotely organic, it always feels completely forced and artifical.

Another way that the drama can feel forced is drama between specific characters in episodes. Take for example the conflict between Moxxie and Millie in Unhappy Campers. The entire conflict of the episode is driven by Moxxie being jelouse of Millie getting all the attention from the teenagers in the camp, all culminating in an argument between the two.

The reason why the drama feels forced is because Moxxie had to be made OOC in order for this to work; Moxxie has no reason to care about what the teenagers think of him since they are on a mission, yet he does care for SOME REASON. This is the basis for the conflict in the episode and it's completely broken on every level.

Not to mention in the argument is where the show pulls out a character flaw for Millie out of it's ass in a failed attempt at giving her "depth". It all feels forced and contrived, like they had to ruin characters in order for it to work.

But the biggest example of this is when it comes to the drama between Blitzo and Stolas, or otherwise known as the ship, Stolitz.

In this case the drama between the two characters takes over and warps the show to center around it, making the show abandon it's premise in favor of becoming a soap opera. Not only that, but the drama also fails because Stolitz as a reletionship is just badly written.

I've went on about this many times before but, Stolitz is a reletionship that has the victim and abuser roles completely backwards. The show demonizes Blitz and coddles Stolas and paints the ladder as an UwU soft boy, and most of the drama in the reletionship comes from this.

It makes the drama just badly writtten since the reletionship it's tied to has serious issues. Helluva Boss used to be ok at creating decent drama in season 1 but now in season 2 it seems that the writers have just given up on creating compelling drama, and just resort to lazy ways to artifically create conflict within the narrative.

[chaifootsteps]

one thing i noticed from seeing gifs/clips from "weeaboo-boo" is that, outside of the knife dip right before blitz kills her, emberlynn doesnt actually TOUCH blitz.

obviously her verbal behaviour is wildly inappropriate towards a complete stranger, but she ALWAYS waits for blitz to meet her halfway physically; she puts the ball in his court.

compare that to stolas - while he does try to initially be prim about the whole seduction thing, he gets a bit physically rough until blitz ties him up and is prepared to book it out to window. after that, stolas is shown constantly pinching blitzs cheeks/touching his face.

(i may be misremembering a lot of this information, and i haven't watched weeabooboo because i know i wouldn't be able to stand the humor, so if i'm completely wrong feel free to ignore!)

Pictured: A more respectful, consent-seeking character to Blitz than his own love interest and that's absolutely horrible.

[hezuart]

Thoughts on the “Look my Way” music video? For context if you don’t know, this is a fan song that’s just animated. Paranoid DJ had written this song awhile back, though Viv did take out some lyrics and switch them up a bit. What I personally don’t like is that there’s a line in the original where Stolas mentions the “impish play thing” line, as well as acknowledges that Octavia is hurting, and Viv cut that out. The song itself also doesn’t help for the show narratively really regarding the ship of Stolitz.

OMYGOD Okay so much to talk about here. It's a BEAUTIFUL song, amazing song, and I even loved the original of it. The animation for this AMV is breathtaking, everyone did an AMAZING job on it. This is what Helluva Boss songs should sound like. I was annoyed with that one scene, albeit very pretty where Stolas and Blitz have a string attached to the pinky finger, which is an indication of soulmates. This bothers me because a soulmate is either A. someone you have been reincarnated with over the years to love or B. Someone you click with- someone who completes you. You meet in every lifetime or they are the perfect person for you. This does not fit Stolas X Blitz AT ALL. They are not perfect for each other, they are complete opposites and the entire appeal and beauty of their relationship was the fact that they were fuckbuddies! They weren't even friends! They were tied up in manipulations, classism, and power imbalances. Their relationship required a lot of growth, a lot of work, and a LOT of learning on what love actually was, how to maintain it, and how to right their wrongs like-They needed to actively explore and learn what love means. They needed to find a real connection that would actually give them chemistry. Being soulmates is a complete cop-out. (Soulmates don't rely on reincarnation, but some do- and reincarnation is not a thing for demons???) You could say I'm overthinking it and being nitpicky with this visual, but this is exactly what it is! That is a soulmate string!!! He even says "I'll grant you this mercy, this bind on our souls-" LIKE BRUH wHAT !!! I'm so mad about what their relationship has become. They were toxic but not doomed. Now they're nothing Anyway..... still very beautiful and pretty

I have friends who actually know this guy and work closely with him. Apparently, Viv was the one who asked to change the lyrics of the song because it didn't "fit her story"???????? The lyrics changed: OG: "Come now, my little impish plaything, we both made our choice" Viv: "But dearest, I know better now I must give you this choice" It makes sense why she would want this changed since this song is about Stolas actually finally being in love. But it's still very sus because we still have not addressed Stolas's classism problem that seems to fluctuate episode to episode. OG: "Is this how she'd feel? Abandoned, all alone and left to fend For herself, for some semblance of happiness that doesn't have to end?" Viv: "Is this what you feel? Scorned by a realm that cannot comprehend, What you are, so I'll grant you this mercy this bind- on our souls needs to end" Again I can understand this change because we are going off-topic with Octavia here. However, I do find these changes very suspicious, especially if she wanted the song to better "fit her story". Because these circumstances are things that I have accused Viv of retconning before. Where Stolas wasn't actually in love with Blitz from the start and only saw him as a shiny toy, an "impish little plaything". Where Stolas was actually shady in cheating on his wife and not being there for his daughter nor really understanding her. "Home doesn't feel like home anymore. You ruined it." I can understand in the context of the song why these lines would be removed, but in the context of the overall story, I'm very suspicious of it, because those are very important contexts that people try to insist are "just people's headcanons" when they literally aren't. This could be considered active proof of Vivziepop retconning her story, but I will go with the latter and stick to my logical explanations for why the lyrics were changed- gonna try to have some faith here.

~~~~

Apparently, Cherri and Angel's AMV Addict was also a fan song. In THAT video, this is the description. Fully acknowledging it was a fan song, and giving clear credit to the person who made the song.

THIS. IS THE DESCRIPTION FOR "JUST LOOK MY WAY"

NO acknowledging this is a fan-made song. NO credit for Paranoid DJ. No thank you, no praise for the original, no links to the original song- He is at least in the credits, but not the description! This is insanely shady! I don't know if this was just a mistake or not, but this is really uncool. Again, he's at least in the ending credits, but... the description would make it more obvious. Vivziepop has a history of not crediting people for their work- I don't know if she was the one who made this mistake nor not.... this is not the worst it could have been, but at the very least whoever runs the youtube should fix the description out of respect.

[effy-writes]

Addict (Blitz x Reader)

(the link above shows the chapters)

4: Murder Family: Twisted

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Months went by but you keep getting lost of track of time. No reasons as to why, but you think its the constant routine you have to do. Wake up, clean, Blitz drug testing you, (fake piss), sleep. You do it over and over again. Kind of feels like rehab.

You’ve been cleaning so hard just about everyday that there was nothing to do. So, you sat down next to Millie who was making her husband shoot a portrait of a family (and which he kept refusing to do).

"Moxxie just shoot," You impatiently said.

"You don't even know how!"

"It's not that I don't know how, it's just that I don't want to."

"Why?"

"I actually haven't figured out why."

"Guys! I want you to meet-" Blitz got interrupted by Moxxie who got startled and shot the arrow. It ricochets off of the walls and hits the eel tank before Blitz finally caught it.

"..our newest client!"

The eel tank started to shake before it fell down, creating a comically large fire.

"Dammit Moxxie! Y/n begged me for weeks to get those eels!"

~~~

Everyone was exiting the building, but you stayed couple of seconds longer inside to quickly snort the remaining adderall. Nobody realized that you were gone until they heard you panting due to you running (and your already fucked up lungs and heart).

"Now someone PLEASE tell me that book is intact!" Blitz yelled.

"You mean our only ticket to the other side? Yeah got it." Loona held up the book.

You stood close to M&M and Blitz to make sure that they are all gone so you can make another drug run. You could worry about Loona but you know that Loona probably doesn't pay attention.

"Now let's go lick some ass!"

"The expression is 'kick some ass'" Millie corrected.

"Mines better." Blitz and Millie walked through. As Moxxie was walking to the portal he tripped and accidentally pushed you in.

"Wait wait shit!" The portal closed up. "Moxxie!"

"Oh crumbs I'm so sorry!"

"I don't even know how to do this shit!" You whispered-yelled.

"I mean it's a great way to start! Just watch us shoot and kill." Blitz said proudly. "Moxxie, do you want to give this one a try?"

"Me?"

"Yeah it's simple enough for you to handle. It's just a happy mother who just got out of the hospital."

Moxxie hesitated.

"You snooze, you lose, Mox!" Blitz looked through the window, "Aaaand I've got ya, bitch."

"Wait... Are we actually killing a family?"

"Do you guys bicker at each other everytime you're out on a kill?" You whispered.

"Yeah they do." Millie answered, "You should seriously start doing these things with us!"

"Uh no." You said abruptly, turning your head and saw that the two were still bickering until Moxxie hit Blitz's rifle as he shot the trigger. The bullet fires and hits a glass mirror that's inside.

"Oh shit." You mumbled.

"What the fuck was that, Moxxie?!"

"I'm sorry sir, they seemed so happy and wholesome!" He wheezed.

Blitz argued back right as a bullet pierced his arm. "AHH a new hole! SCATTER!"

Moxxie hid behind the bushes, the other three ran in different directions.

You don't do danger. Sure, lived in shady places, but as long as you don't take other people's drugs, you're good. But this is something completely different for you. This is why I don't want to fucking come to these things.

You ran through the woods, occasionally tripping because of the rocks and wood. Your foot twisted and ended up falling down a hill screaming and finally landing with a grunt.

"Y/n!" Millie smiled.

You lift your head up and saw Blitz and Millie tied to a stump that was on fire. A blonde lady caught your eye.

"Oh well look who we have here! Another one!" She grinned.

You gulped as you tried to get up but with your foot being twisted you fell right back down.

"Aw you got hurt? Don't worry I'll take the pain away." She brought up her shot gun and aimed it at you.

You flinched as soon as you heard the gunshot, but when you looked up Moxxie was standing over the woman's body.

"Moxxie!" Millie shouted. Her husband untied Blitz and Millie before reaching over to you to help you up.

"You're not gettin' your goddamn paycheck for this one, Mox!" Blitz yelled, walking over to the other side of you.

"How did you get hurt on your first day?" He joked.

"Fuck you. I didn't even want to be here in the first place."

~~

"Ahhh, did you see my little Mox-Mox!" Millie hugged him, nuzzling her head against his chest.

"Well, here's to another mission accomplished! And Moxxie finally learned not to fuck up."

You hopped to a chair that was beside of Blitz, taking off your shoe and saw that it was swollen and bruised.

"And cheers to Y/n for getting hurt on the first day!" Blitz raised a glass.

"Wasn't my choice!"

~~~

"Is your ankle okay?" Blitz had your arm around him.

"Not really, hurts like shit."

You hopped to the couch and propped your foot up with a pillow. "Do you have any pain killers? Please?"

Blitz frowned, "Y/n I really don't think-"

"I was addicted to stimulants, not opioids."

"I don't want you to get hooked on those either."

"Please?"

"I can't..I'm sorry." He laid down beside of you. "Also this might be a bad time to mention but Stolas called."

"Okay? And?"

"He said something and I may or may not agree to it."

You furrowed your eyebrows.

"He said every full moon we have to fuck."

"We as in...you two?"

"We as in me, you, and him."

Your jaw dropped, "What the fuck Blitz! How come you didn't talk to me about it?"

"I was being hunted by that crazy bitch!"

You ran your fingers through your hair, "Why does he want me in the deal?"

He shrugged, "I guess he gets off doing threesomes."

"And you're okay with that?"

"I don't want to fuck a bird once a month but we need it for my business sooo."

"Okay...well..are you okay with me joining in?"

"The more the better."

But that didn't answer your question. You just laid down and turned your head away from Blitz.

[ripplestitchskein]

I know it’s just a four minute short Stolas isn’t even in, but I think the now running theme of Blitz being “bad” at sex, at least oral, being somewhat confirmed, really ties into what I find most appealing about them. We see in The Circus that Stolas is the one who laughs at his jokes, it’s a running thing, Blitz being unfunny, we see it in flashbacks, in comments made by other characters, by the audience in Seeing Stars, with Stolas always being the notable exception. And Stolas is genuine in his laughter, he truly finds Blitz funny when at large he apparently isn’t. Blitz still presents himself as someone who is though, he sticks to the clown schtick, and despite the failures he keeps trying with increasing desperation, just like he kept trying with the balloon horse and the crystal. This contrast of everyone’s reaction vs Stolas’s is so important that one of the ways Blitz realizes Stolas is truly angry and means what he says is that Stolas didn’t laugh.

The bad at sex gag reads the exact same way to me. We have this idea that because of how Blitz presents himself, that he is considered generally attractive, that he is an asshole but he can throw down in the bedroom so people still give it a shot. But we have several comments that imply his dick game was not what was bringing them in. Verosika is the presenter of this information initially so it could just be from her perspective or even just spite based, at least that was true until we account for the new short which seems to confirm her statements. It is the same contrast of Blitz presenting himself one way, and even expressing that he can try harder if the other party is displeased, and us learning that the world at large is not into it but Stolas is. He like sings about it, he was excited about it, and that’s not down to experience or him not knowing better, he genuinely was into it. He derived pleasure from it and found it attractive. Even in Full Moon he blushes and hesitates when Blitz pushes his legs apart. Sex and humor are bimodal in the way that if you aren’t enjoying it you might give it a go a few more times before deciding it isn’t for you, or that you like some aspects and not others. Stolas is very clearly on the Blitz side for both of these. And he is an exception, if Verosika is the narrative proxy for the feelings of the Anti Blitz party attendees as a whole, which I think she is - stabbing his dick and saying no one wants it anyway - that this is a general opinion held by many, just like Blitz being not funny, that Stolas stands in contrast to.

The other thread tying them together in the narrative is Blitz’s performance anxiety itself. In the past for the humor we see him either failing completely in black and white flashbacks with no relief because Stolas wasn’t there, or we see him failing initially and Stolas reassuring him and giving him his confidence back by laughing. Now that we have additional information that Blitz is, on the whole, maybe not everyone’s cup of sexual tea It could be argued that Stolas’s over the top simping and outward showing of lust is the same as him laughing. Blitz certainly derived confidence from sexual performance when it came to Stolas, he had a lot of bravado about it and he put in a fuck ton of effort to the point where he thinks it’s all he has of value to him. Stolas expresses his appreciation loudly and outwardly. Blitz doesn’t trust it though, just as he doesn’t trust that Stolas is laughing at his jokes for real. Slowly over time Stolas stopped making those comments, and gave him outs on their arrangement. And then he stops laughing too. Blitz had no issue with the crystal when he was performing for Stolas but in Antarctica he freezes up and implies it’s been an ongoing off screen struggle. Just like he seemed to have no problem with performing oral when it was for Stolas. Millie tries to encourage him but Moxxie has to physically step in and show him. Blitz doesnt fix it himself. His confidence is still where it was when he was failing, they were just able to get home because Moxxie stepped in. Blitz has some new information but he didn’t suddenly develop confidence, not like he has in the past when Stolas was there to laugh or flirt. This really highlighted the consequences of what happens when Blitz doesn’t have Stolas to help his confidence both with sex and humor.

In summary I just love the idea that they are compatible on both of these levels in opposition to what seems to be mainstream opinion. That Blitz, the circus clown, has a captive and supportive audience in Stolas in all areas, his humor, his abilities, his business, and his sexual performance.

[autumnteawithfriends]

Wait, Millie is bisexual? I don´t remmember Millie being bi, Moxxie yes, but Millie? Damn, when o where they said that? Jeez, poor Millie, she have a lot of potential and all her stuff but everything around it is just "telling", not showing anything. Even in the chapters where she was supposed to be the focus… they rob her of that development.

And, to be honest, why does she just feel like a medal or a decoration? True, as a bi, I don't consider my orientation as a personality, but it's not an "add-on" either.

Really, Moxxie and Millie's relationship feels like Charlie and Vaggie, where one has a personality and the other is just there for her partner.

The stolitz, or well, Stolas, literally devoured the show. Visually the show is beautiful, when the colours aren't killing the eye, but the script (and the character and world building) is a rollercoaster with very dangerous holes.

Thanks for the ask!

Yes, she was confirmed to be bisexual

Honestly, the main reason why she feels like a decoration is because Viv likely wants strong female characters in her show, but doesn’t actually want to commit to making them interesting because that requires actually writing them as people, and you can’t do that when your a misogynistic fujoshi stuck in their 2010s Wattpad phase that just wants to see gay men have sex constantly

Also that’s been a recurring problem with the romances Viv writes. She gives one a surprisingly likable personality only to give their partner a two dimensional love interest who’s only personality trait is being their partner. It happened with CherriSnake because Cherri legitimately has nothing going for her aside from her romance with Pentious. Chaggie ups the ante by retconning Valkryie as a former exterminator and her keeping it a secret…yet that revelation somehow doesn’t cause actually meaningful relationship conflict between the two. Moxxie and Millie are by far the worst because these two don’t have any type of development.

Stolas can get kicked in the balls for all I care, calling him a bitch feels pretty weak right now and Blitz deserved to completely cut ties with him. The fact that Vivziepop wants us to sympathize with a classist rapist racist asshole is insane

[lolotheparagon]

Helluva Boss is Hella Sexist To Both Men and Women - Part 2

In my last post about HB, I was discussing how the main female characters of HB get shunted to the sidelines/used as a vehicle for the men's character development. And its about time we started talking about the male characters as well. Cos despite how female characters being mistreated is the more pressing issues (cos female characters always have trouble being written properly for hundreds of years because the writers were incels or misogynistic women) male characters have their own stereotypes or objectification that writers fall into. Especially in regards to mlm relationships (OH, WE'LL FUCKING GET TO THAT)

But for now, lets talk about the main guys in HB:

Blitzo

I might as well go into full character analysis here cos Blitz is ultimately the protagonist of the show. Blitz is a interesting character by concept. A foul-mouthed demon with a literal devil-may-care attitude, completely unprofessional, loves his job as an assassin but also craves love and intimacy with others but struggles to due to a history of failed relationships in the past so he hides behind a mask. Hes an absolute mess of a character and I love that. Blitz is not only a good vessel for comedy but drama as well as his self-sabotaging of his relationships with his friends/co-workers can be a great character arc of him learning to trust others again and start to love himself...

HOWEVER Vivziepop just LOVES throwing angst upon angst onto this guy cos it seems that every past relationship he's had from an ex-girlfriend Verosika to his former partner/childhood friend Fizzarolli to even HIS OWN SISTER ends bitterly and it seems no one from Blitz's past even likes him or is on some amiable ground. Verosika is portrayed like an antagonistic ex, Fizzarolli condescends and humiliates him and from what we see of Barbie's view from that animatic, she comments on how he fucked up her life. So we have two women who are scorned at him (one for justifiable reasons since Blitz was an inconsiderate jerk and the other for reasons we dont know yet) and a guy who broke ties with him to be his rival. And its not like Blitz isnt remorseful because whenever Verosika talks about their relationship, you can see the look of regret on Blitz's face and he was shown to be scared whenever he encounters Fizz, like a kid scared of a bully.

Even Blitz's relationship with his adoptive daughter is fucked up, Loona constantly abuses her father when hes done ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to warrant it outside of him being protective at a few moments or babying her (and by babying her I mean calling her Loonypoo or showering her with gifts and hugs). Aka what a typical parent is like. And yet he constantly bends over backwards for her and Loona hasn't even learned her lesson to stop being a bitch cos apparently the writers think women hitting men is funny. There are a few moments of them getting along, but its only for comedy. I would say the only good relationships Blitz has is with Millie and Moxxie. But even that's pushing it cos Blitz barely interacts with Millie in any meaningful way outside of co-worker banter and with Moxxie, the only meaningful scenes they share is in the Truth Seekers episode or that little scene in Seeing Stars.

Ultimately Blitz' relationships with others is why he's such a fucked up mess of a person to begin with. While he has a more stable relationship with his current friends/co-workers, the people of his past keep coming back into his life to mess with him and while he clearly regrets how he treated some, like Verosika, others like Fizz, are okay with hurting him for the evulz and thus set them up to be villainous foils. With all this baggage plus his traumatic childhood regarding his father and presumably dead mother, Blitz sounds like a great character to explore, especially with two characters who both have history with Blitz in different ways. And they barely show up.

You see, Verosika and Fizz ONLY appear in a couple episodes. Fizz appears properly (not his robot double) in the season 1 FINALE and his past with Blitzo is only expanded upon in season 2 premiere whereas Verosika had her own episode in season 1 earlier and her only other significant appearance is in the finale. Apart from that, we only get snippets of info about their relationships from Blitzo's viewpoint. WE HAVENT EVEN SEEN A FLASHBACK WITH BLITZ' BREAK UP WITH FIZZ OR VEROSIKA.

And then we come to his relationship with Stolas...and its fucking awful. That image at the top of this post? Thats what Blitz thinks of Stolas. Doesn't look like a wholesome relationship, does it? I can talk about Stolitz enough to fill a bible but to summarise: Blitz' relationship with Stolas is incredibly fucked up and whats worst, its shown so far to be one-sided. What started as a transactional sex relationship in order for Blitz to use Stolas' grimoire to enter the human world to do his job. (the ONLY METHOD HE HAS, mind you) And from what we see of Blitz' view of this relationship, he's tolerant of him at best to annoyed and angry at worst. The one scene at the end of the season 1 finale cements this when Stolas wants to comfort Blitz after the scene at Ozzies and Blitz refused to have sex with Stolas cos hes deeply hurt and embarassed after everything thats happened that night.

(btw love this video is titled Blitzo hurts stolas feelings. Like the scene of Blitz being publicly humiliated by both his ex and his rival didnt happen not 1 minute ago with Stolas just standing there not even saying anything so Blitz is clearly hurt by that but nooooo sad gay owl uwu)

Throughout the first season, Blitz treats Stolas like an abhorrent admirer with how Stolas constantly coddles or flirts with him to the nth degree and the argument shown above thats supposed to be the climax of this relationship's problems isnt even RESOLVED when the second season rolls around, the show just treats Blitzo like a tsundere slowly becoming more chill with someone whom he's force-shipped with. The writers really REALLY want you to root for Blitz to be with Stolas yet Blitz has been nothing but uncomfortable or annoyed in his presence. Look at Blitz' face on these photos on Stolas' phone. He looks bored as fuck. oH buT ItS OKAy cos BLitzo hAS a PHOTo of HIm slightly smiling AFter the two had secks so its all good.

That's not the gotcha card you think, guys. Still doesnt excuse how fucked up the relationship is

The main problem I have with Blitzo is that Vivziepop LOVES to torture this imp for drama with scorned lovers, estranged siblings, an abusive father, a presumably dead mother, an ex-best friend who's now his bully, a one-sided relationship with a powerful prince thats built on coercion and pity sex. And yet the show flits back on forth on making him this lol screw you memelord who doesnt give a fuck to a tragic, broken man who doesnt know how to love anyone and himself anymore and the show doesnt dwell hard enough into the latter. I want Blitz to get therapy already or have him actually learn from his mistakes and the show doesnt punish him for it or treat his abuse like a joke. Ive got nothing wrong with a protagonist who's an asshole but dumping all this trauma and angst onto this character who's already got issues to deal with in his current life (like stalking, his lack of respect for boundaries, saying the r slur or making fatphobic jokes) is just depressing.

Moxxie

Moxxie is by far my fave character for how level-headed and kind he is but cos the writers are so indulgent with their tropes, they've flanderised him into a soft boi malewife, infantilising him to the point he literally cant do anything without his wife picking up the slack.

My three main problems with him are: his status as a butt-monkey, his lack of agency and his co-dependency on Millie.

To start with: he's the most morally upright imp on the team so its only natural he would be the butt monkey of the team, but despite how Blitz respects him enough as an assassin, Moxxie is still ridiculed, assaulted and attacked by Blitz, Loona, Verosika, practically everyone except his wife. And while having a butt monkey for comedy is fine, the show goes out of its way to mock Moxxie for things that are so nonsensical it feels more like degradation than snarky banter. For some reason, theres a running gag where Loona and Blitz mock how fat Moxxie is...Look at him! He's thin as a pencil! WHO THE FUCK CONSIDERS THAT FAT?! And whats worse, Moxxie has internalised this by saying to Loona in the most recent episode that he lost weight, to which Loona looks up at him and ignores him. Why is this a running gag? What is the reason? It feels so cruel and pointless.

Secondly, his lack of agency. Despite Moxxie being the most intelligent of the team and his name LITERALLY MEANS "fighting spirit." he's still delegated to a damsel in distress or be given the idiot ball so other characters can have more spotlight. In the Spring Broken episode, while Blitz is distracted with Loona and Verosika, Millie and Moxxie put up the slack and carry on the mission, but Moxxie accidentally gets drunk and spends the rest of the episode being an inebriated doofus. Little moments like this are funny but there was and entire subplot in Seeing Stars where Moxxie gets roped into buying demo CDs and merchandise from every hack artist he bumps into in Hollywood and its up to Millie to take charge.

In the Exes and O's episode where we finally meet Moxxie's father and the uncomfortable reunion plus Moxxie's traumatic childhood flashback perfectly builds up to a scene where he stands up to Crimson for forcing him into marrying a dickhead shark and yet Moxxie gets struck down in one shot and wakes up being tied up at the altar. So the one chance Moxxie gets to take down his monstrous father is completely negated. Thats fucking weak.

Isnt Moxxie supposed to be a professional assassin? Have him do more badass stuff. Let him take control of a mission or a rescue. Have another scene like the Harvest Moon festival where he intimidates a villain with a DEMON-KILLING GUN. Or that scene where Blitzo and Moxxie take down a bunch of human agents in Truth Seekers. He has incredibly knowledge of weaponry and technology which are excellent skills for an assassin to have, so USE THEM. Where's this Moxxie?

This issue also ties into his relationship with his wife Millie. Even though M&M have the most stable wholesome relationship in the whole show, half the time it feels like Millie is doing the most physical work out of their relationship. Whenever Moxxie is in trouble, kidnapped, put in danger or held hostage, Millie always bursts in to save the day and that would be fine except it makes Moxxie look like some baby who cant even tie his bow without Millie there. That whole wedding crash scene in Exes and O's was all set up so Millie can burst in doing cool badass fighting and save her husband. Why couldnt Crimson lock up Millie and Blitzo too? Well, we wont be able to have our cool Millie fight scene where she murders a bunch of thugs and do a Shrek reference. It feels imbalanced calling these two a "power couple" where only ONE of them is powerful and the other is just the emotional support noodle boy. And its even worse how Millie so far hasn't been in a situation where she needs support from her husband so we dont see that much of Moxxie being a good husband outside of cute couple banter.

Basically less this and more of this

Lastly, it seems he gets hit with the angst stick too, cos the most recent episode was about his traumatic childhood with his abusive mob boss father and it turns out he isnt even dealt with or killed by Moxxie, the imps just rescue Moxxie and fuck off so Crimson can continue to be more of a problem. Yeah, that's exactly what this show needed. More traumatised men having their abuse being completely glossed over/treated as a joke so we can have our precious status quo. Except the rich white guy, he gets his happy ending.

SPEAKING OF WHICH...

Stolas

Oh god, its time we talked about this fucker.

My issue with Stolas mostly stems from two things: his treatment of the people he's supposed to care about like Blitz or Octavia and his flanderisation from a clingy rich asshole from the pilot who is in a transactional sexual relationship with a low class imp to a precious soft uwu nice guy who tries WEALLY HARWD

Vivzie clearly likes Stolas and she's been pushing for him to be a main character since the beginning, but the problem was Vivzie wants Stolas to be a well-intentioned person WHILST being a barely trying father to his teenager daughter and still being in a borderline SA relationship with a commoner.

Now I like the idea of Stolas being a complex character, theres nothing wrong with a flawed but sympathetic character (which Vivziepop is clearly trying to do). Stolas has made mistakes, he's neglected his daughter, cheated on his wife and put the only person he claims to love in his life in a transactional sexual relationship with a commoner imp, whilst treating other imps with apathy or disdain. These are all great things to unpack with Stolas, giving him the reality check he desperately needs (lets not forget he's a privleged prince of Hell and hes always been rather ignorant) so he can improve and be a better person, not just for himself, but to his daughter and to Blitz, whom he's grown to care about beyond sexual attraction.

BUT NOPE! Lets give Stolas a tragic backstory in the season 2 opener (JUST AFTER THE PREVIOUS EP TALKING ABOUT HOW STOLAS CLEARLY REALISING BLITZ DOESNT RECIPROCATE HIS FEELINGS AND THAT STOLAS MISINTERPRETED THEIR RELATIONSHIP). Lets give him an unhappy childhood, a father who doesnt care about him (yes Vivzie slap on another abusive dad to your characters as a shortcut for the audience to sympathise with them, that'll work), an unhappy marriage to an abusive woman, his relationship of Blitz is now established as a childhood friends trope (although I use the term VERY loosely as the two aren't even friends for more than a day) and instead lets depict Stolas' affair from a messy, complicated dilemma Stolas has to deal with the consequences to a triumphant act of defiance over an abusive wife. And dont get me wrong, Im totally fine with Stolas divorcing Stella, it was clear their marriage even in Stella's first appearance wasnt happy. BUT considering how that whole Circus episode was used to make the audience sympathise with Stolas EVEN MORE than the show was already doing, its overcompensating at this point.

When a show is shoving so many sad tragic scenarios into a character's backstory so the audience can buy merch feel sorry for him, thats a sign the character himself isn't very well written.

Lets also talk about Octavia, his teenager daughter who's bared witnessed to her parents declining marriage careening into divorce and while this is happening, we see Stolas making bare minimum attempts to fix his relationship with her. In Loo Land, we see Stolas taking her to a park she's clearly not interested in going to cos he's too stupid to ask about his daughter's interests and spends half the episode flirting with Blitz. After a talk with Octavia and comforts her afterwards, taking her out of the park and suggests they do something she enjoys. Now, I loved that. It really showed how Stolas can put his horniness aside to help his daughter. BUT in the next episode about them, Stolas dismisses Octavia AGAIN cos hes too focused on arguing with his ex-wife, causing Octavia to run away to the human realm. And sure Stolas is worried sick once he finds out Octavia's gone but when we get into the human realm and both him and Blitz get shoved into a sitcom studio, STOLAS JUST GOES ALONG WITH THIS WHOLE SITCOM SUBPLOT AND AGAIN FLIRTS WITH BLITZ LIKE THE PREVIOUS EPISODE OF THEM INTERACTING DIDNT HAPPEN.

With how anxious Stolas was acting throughout the first act of the episode, you would think that he wouldnt have time to deal with Blitz' sitcom shit and spend the day but NO FOR SOME REASON LOONA'S THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ACTIVELY SEARCHING FOR OCTAVIA. OCTAVIA'S OWN FUCKING FATHER IS TOO INCOMPETENT TO SEARCH FOR HER HIMSELF ALL BECAUSE OF SOME WACKY COMEDIC MISUNDERSTANDING WITH BLITZ. Oh sure, your teenage daughter's missing in the human realm but nah l'll just carry on simping for my imp bf cos HEY AT SHE'S NOT IN DANGER.

Loo Land: Stolas wants to spend a day with Octavia but ends up distracted with Blitz and learns to pay attention to his daughter and support her.

Seeing Stars: Octavia wants to spend a day with her father but Stolas dismisses her because he'd distracted with arguing with his ex-wife, causing Octavia to run off to the human realm, Stolas goes there but spends half the episode watching Blitz in a live sitcom instead of finding his daughter and yet is forgiven for being a neglectful dad.

But its okay cos Stolas and Octavia have a big hug at the end (they dont even get a chance to talk about the divorce btw since this is the first episode featuring Stolas and his family after the divorce) and despite how hurt and neglected Octavia felt by her dad, she's like "ah its no big deal the furry here told me dads fuck up but they mean well so im good now". So Stolas makes the bare minimum amount of parenting and he's forgiven for it cos he TWIES. Not trying hard enough, just trying at all. "Cos hey, at least its better than nothing!"

Vivzie, this plus the amount of abusive fathers youve already got in this show, I think you have daddy issues. You might wanna get that checked out.

So, much like with its female characters: Helluva Boss has serious problems with how it portrays men. The man with shitloads of emotional trauma and abuse is glossed over/never resolved for the sake of drama and protecting the status quo. (Blitz, Moxxie) The soft-spoken male being infantilised to the point he cant even fight his way of a paper bag with his badass hypercompetent wife to help him (Moxxie), the father who does the bare minimum amount of effort for his daughter and is forgiven for it because HE MEANS WELL (Stolas), the utterly RANCID fetishisation of mlm relationships with the endgame couple going from a toxic sexual manipulation/transactional relationship into a forbidden lovers romance (Stolitz) and the rest of the men in the show are either sex-obsessed (Chaz, Fizzarolli) or abusive (Paimon, Blitz' dad, Crimson) cos MEN AMIRIGHT?

Yeah there are a lot of perverts, coomers and abusive dads irl. Im not saying Helluva Boss isnt accurate to that fact. But these are negative stereotypes about men that shouldnt be shoved in our faces all the time. I think the only recurring male demon character so far who ISNT a chauvinistic dick, cruel or abusive is Wally Wackford. I know people pull the "oh theyre from Hell, of course they're jerks" to excuse all of this but thats fine when theyre characters youre not supposed to sympathise with like Crimson or Blitz' dad but its another thing when your supposed to sympathise with characters like Stolas but they're fucking horrible and yet the show constantly treats them like precious babus who did nothing wrong, while the characters who ARE legit sympathetic (Moxxie, Blitz) are dumped pain after pain onto them cos that makes good dramatic scenes for Youtube, not a story.

Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/lolotheparagon/712718858369286144/helluva-boss-is-hella-sexist-to-both-men-and-women

[lamaenthel]

Tivaevae | Chapter One: Ripped At The Seams

Still struggling to emotionally recover from Master Obi-Wan's deception, Ahsoka discovers in the aftermath that twelve-year-old Boba Fett has been locked up among adults in the Republic Judiciary Central Detention Center. After convincing Chancellor Palpatine to grant him a pardon, she manages to secure his release on the condition that she serve as his legal guardian. Now, with the help of Master Plo and the Wolfpack, she vows to help him track down what family he has left.

| AO3 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 |

Fandom: Star Wars Characters: Ahsoka Tano, Boba Fett, Plo Koon, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mace Windu, Kanan Jarrus, Sheev Palpatine | Darth Sidious, CT-27-5555 | ARC-5555 | Fives, CC-1119 | Appo, Dexter Jettster, FLO | WA-7 (Star Wars), Shaak Ti, ARC Commander Blitz (Star Wars), CT-6922 | Dogma, Original Clone Trooper Character(s) (Star Wars), CC-3636 | Wolffe, Clone Trooper Sinker (Star Wars), Clone Trooper Comet (Star Wars), CC-2224 | Cody, CT-5597 | Jesse, CT-4860 | Boost, Aurra Sing, Tobias Beckett, Null-11 | Ordo Skirata, Kal Skirata, Original Mandalorian Characters (Star Wars), Original Droid Characters (Star Wars), Original Jedi Character(s) (Star Wars) Total Word Count: 123,000 Chapter Word Count: 6,751

"And then Grey was like skoosh skoosh skoosh–" Caleb held up an imaginary carbine and let loose a series of blasts, so enthusiastic about his reenactment that he nearly fell off of the courtyard bench. " –and the SBD just exploded! He got him right in the power core! And then-and then-and then I did a backflip off of his shoulder, and I cut three B1's in half! It was so wizard."

"You did?" Mace gasped, theatrically placing a hand on his chest in feigned shock. He had a reputation for being overly stoic, cold even, but there was nothing that defrosted the Master like his Padawans. Depa had dropped off young Caleb to have lunch with his Grand-Master with a weary gratitude that Obi-Wan remembered well; ironically, it had usually been Mace that would give him a break from Anakin more often than not, back then.

"Sure did," Caleb raised his chin proudly. "Have you ever done that with your commander, Master Obi-Wan?" he asked eagerly, looking at him from the other side of Mace with bright turquoise eyes.

Obi-Wan swallowed his mouthful of salad. "Unfortunately, no," he said with a smile. "I think I might squash poor Cody if I tried, though, I weigh a bit more than you."

"Is that why you're watching your figure?" Mace asked wryly, looking at Obi-Wan's bowl of fresh greens.

"I don't care if they're nutritionally complete, human beings were not intended to survive off of ration bars alone," Obi-Wan grumbled into his salad.

"I didn't jump off Grey, I jumped off the battle droid!" Caleb giggled.

"Ah," Obi-Wan said. "Well, the answer is still no, but I'll make sure to bring it up to him before our next strategy meeting."

"Good idea!" Caleb said with a grin, then shoved a handful of fried tatos in his mouth. His nerfburger had been inhaled two meandering stories ago.

"Well, I'm impressed. That sounds like a very successful first mission." Mace gave him a pat on the back then added an unholy amount of orbakradish paste to his bowl of red turu rice, green peppers and bantha strips.

"Can I have some?" Caleb asked curiously, staring at the bright green bottle his grand-master had pulled from his pocket curiously.

"It's very spicy," Mace warned before leaving a tiny smudge on the boy's plate, then took a stoic bite of his rice bowl.

Caleb carefully dipped a corner of his fried tato in the orbakradish and took a bite. His eyes went wide. "Ow," he said faintly, and held his mouth open. "Aow. Aow."

Mace chuckled, dipped a tato in the cup of vinegar on the other side of Caleb's plate, then popped it in his open mouth. "I did warn you," he said as Caleb furiously chewed. "Orbakradish isn't like capsaicin. For that, you need some sort of cream. To cure this, you need vinegar."

Caleb sighed with relief. "Thanks, Master." He hurriedly popped another vinegar-soaked tato in his mouth, then finished off the rest of the plate with the speed that only eleven-year-old boys could manage without making themselves sick. Mace and Obi-Wan exchanged amused looks while they ate their own meals at a less tornadic pace.

"Go on, Padawan. Time to meditate, then practice your forms at the training salle." Mace patted Caleb on the back and took his empty plate once he'd licked it clean.

"Will you come and– I mean, I would be honored if you would spar with me after your Council meeting is done, Master." Caleb said bashfully. "If you want to. I, um, I know you're busy."

"I'm not sure how long I'll be, but I'll head down to the salles as soon as we're done. I'd be happy to spar with you, Padawan." Mace patted his cheek fondly and winked.

"Okay!" Caleb bowed hurriedly to Mace and then Obi-Wan. "Bye, Masters!" He took off at a run, almost tripping on his robes twice before disappearing around the corner.

"I miss that age," Obi-Wan said forlornly. "They're still so enthusiastic about everything. Once they hit puberty…"

"The attitude, I know," Mace said knowingly. He took a final bite from his rice bowl and reached a hand out for Obi-Wan's dish. "I'm grateful for Depa and Devan. Echuu was a handful. Girls are easier."

"Girls are not easier," Obi-Wan snorted, then rubbed his bald head, textured with a thousand offended bumps. The whole thing was so damn itchy, he'd had to meditate three times that morning just to keep his sanity. Perhaps Lace had some procaine cream in the medbay that he could borrow until all of the hairs had poked through the skin.

"Mine were," Mace shrugged.

"Yours aren't vindictive," Obi-Wan sighed.

"Why would they be?" Mace asked blithely. "I trained them well. They are above pettiness."

Obi-Wan glared at the sky instead of Mace. "Lucky you," he said to the speeder traffic above the Temple.

"I warned you about the consequences of leaving Anakin and Ahsoka out of the loop," Mace reminded him. "You insisted."

"I know." They both stood and began the long walk to the Council chambers elevator.

Mace passed their bamboo dishes onto a waste droid when they passed one then fished around for something in his pocket. "And you are the one who suggested that they go on the mission that 'killed' you," he pointed out, then popped a mint candy into his mouth.

"I know," Obi-Wan huffed. "I understand that my actions have consequences, Mace, I'm not a child."

"Then why are you so upset?" Mace asked.

"I'm not upset," Obi-Wan said automatically.

Mace rolled his eyes. "You aren't at peace, that's for certain."

"I–" Obi-Wan raised his hands and let them fall. "Ahsoka's never been one to hold a grudge at all, let alone at me. I expected the cold shoulder from Anakin, but not her."

"Ah. She's still hurt, then."

"She's got no reason to be hurt," Obi-Wan insisted.

"She discovered your 'corpse,' my old friend," Mace said.

"Please, p-please Bobi, open your eyes, open your… no, no, no, please no, Bobi please–"

"Would you really be so unmoved if you'd discovered hers?"

She fell to the ground like a ragdoll, dead from a single touch. Her limbs were twisted and her yellow eyes stayed open, filmy and veined with black like the rest of the Dark Side corruption that covered her.

He banished the memories. "That's different," Obi-Wan insisted. "We are not meant to outlive our Padawans."

"Yet we do." Mace called the elevator. "More and more often, it seems. And I do not see that changing until this war is over."

That reminded him. "Have you discussed your idea with Master Yoda?" Obi-Wan asked quietly.

"It's difficult to find a good time to propose an assassination," Mace answered. "Especially the assassination of his old Padawan."

The elevator arrived. The two Masters stepped on and began the journey up.

"You've discussed it with Quinlan?" Mace asked.

"I have. He's not unwilling."

"Good to know."

The two fell silent, and Obi-Wan commanded the mental image of Ahsoka's corpse lying at the feet of her killer to stop popping into his thoughts. The encounter on Mortis felt like a dream. He still wasn't sure what had actually happened, what was real and what was a vision, but the memory of Anakin's yellow eyes and his little girl lying dead and corrupted by the Dark side haunted him at the most inopportune moments.

May he become one with the Force before ever seeing such horrors again.

The elevator opened. The two walked down the hall to the inside of the Council chambers and took their seats in companionable silence. They were still a bit early, and no one else had yet arrived.

"Caleb was not supposed to be in active combat yet," Mace said after a few moments. "In case you were wondering. The mission he was assigned was a scouting mission. The droids were a surprise."

"Do you think I'm judging you, old friend?" Obi-Wan asked with a raised brow.

"No, but I thought you may want to know." Mace leaned back with an unreadable expression on his face. "He is very skilled, but I personally would prefer he not be on the front lines until he gains more experience."

Obi-Wan remembered Ahsoka eagerly bouncing off of the transport and straight onto the front lines of one of the most gruesome campaigns of the early war. "I understand," he said gently. "Unfortunately, there's only one way to get experience."

"I'm aware." The muscle in Mace's jaw worked a bit before he settled into his usual serenity.

"Greetings, Master Windu. Master Kenobi." Shaak-Ti's hologram flickered into view and she bowed her head.

The two men bowed theirs in return. "How fares Kamino?" Obi-Wan asked lightly.

"Sunny, for a change," Shaak-Ti said with a small smile. "The cadets have been training outside all day on the landing pads."

Mace smiled at her. "I'm happy to hear it."

"As am I," Plo said pleasantly. He and Depa bowed from the entrance, Yoda hobbling beside them. Depa spared a fond smile for her old Master as she took her seat, which Mace returned.

More holograms popped up; Kit Fisto, Ki-Adi-Mundi, Saesee Tiin, Agen Kolar, Coleman Kcaj, Luminara Unduli, Oppo Rancisis, and Stass Allie were all still on the front lines. Kit's hologram was cross-legged and floating subtly, broadcasting underwater from the ocean world of Klarn.

"Begin, we shall," Yoda said after clearing his throat. "May the Force guide us as we proceed."

Murmurs of agreement followed him.

"May I be the first to compliment Master Kenobi's haircut," Kit's hologram grinned at him.

"Thank you, Master," Obi-Wan deadpanned, resisting the urge to scratch his blasted scalp again.

"We are all very glad to see you alive and well," Shaak-Ti added with a twinkle in her eye. "You should stay close-shaven. You look twenty years younger."

Obi-Wan sighed. He was very aware; it was half the reason he had grown the beard in the first place. Shaak-Ti's tinkling giggle rang like a bell at his reaction.

A round of chuckles echoed her and Mace held up a hand to quiet them. "Our first order of business," he began with a smile, reading off a datapad, "is– oh." His smile disappeared and his eyebrows went up as he glanced over at Obi-Wan. "Padawan Ahsoka Tano has requested to speak with us."

Obi-Wan sat at attention. "She has?" he asked, surprised.

"Go ahead and send her in," Mace said into the comlink in his chair. "Do you know what this is about?" he asked Obi-Wan curiously.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I've no idea," he answered.

The chamber doors opened and Obi-Wan watched Ahsoka step primly inside, pointedly not looking at him despite his centrality in her line of sight. He crossed his legs and frowned.

"Koh-to-yah, little 'Soka," Plo said. "Why have you come before us today?"

"Koh-to-yah, Master Plo. And thank you for allowing me to speak with you on such short notice, Masters," Ahsoka said politely. She made a deep bow and stood with perfect posture, her hands clasped in front of her. "I wish that this was not necessary, but as a Jedi I am a mandated reporter of abuse. If I witness the mistreatment of a child, I must speak up."

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, his ire easing. "What did you witness, dear?" he asked, the epithet slipping out automatically.

Her eyes slid onto him and he was immediately taken aback by how cold they were. "I need to report that there is a twelve-year-old human child being held in a maximum security prison facility alongside murderers, rapists, and violent criminals of all sorts right here on Coruscant," she said icily.

Obi-Wan's stomach dropped. He already knew who she was referring to, and cac, it should have been him reporting it. He'd completely forgotten about his encounter with Boba Fett. He had been so consumed with not just keeping his cover and managing Bane, but blocking the Force bond he shared with his Padawans in order to sell his death that Boba had simply slipped his mind. Force, the shock of seeing a twelve-year-old clone in the middle of supermax dissipated almost as soon as it had struck and Obi-Wan had just… left him there. He felt an alkaline knot of guilt twist around his belly.

There was a smattering of surprised gasps among the Councilors.

"Who is this child?" Depa demanded.

"What could he have possibly done to be imprisoned?" Ki-Adi-Mundi asked, bewildered.

Master Luminara shook her head. "We must contact the Guard at once, surely there was an error–"

Ahsoka held up a hand. "The boy is Boba Fett, Masters. After his failed attempt on Master Windu's life, he was sent to the Republic Judiciary Central Detention Center."

Looks of grim understanding passed between the Council members. Mace leaned forward. "He's in an adult prison?" he asked, anger coloring the edges of his voice. "Has he been there since he was taken into custody?"

"It would appear so, Master, yes."

Mace sank back, frowning severely. "I recommended leniency," he murmured, almost to himself. "The Chancellor assured me his age and his trauma would be taken into account. I believed he'd be sent to a juvenile facility at worst."

"As did I," Plo said heatedly. "Adult prison, for a child. This is not justice."

"Padawan Tano, find out this information, how did you?" Yoda asked, frowning.

"Well, Master," she said, turning, and Obi-Wan was slightly mollified to hear her address Yoda with the same frostbitten tone. She still hadn't forgiven him for Dogma. The clone was thankfully still alive, as Shaak-Ti had made enough of a fuss on Kamino to have gotten him imprisoned instead of immediately euthanized, but Ahsoka wouldn't be satisfied until he was back in the 501st. "I was viewing the helmet-cam footage from the prison riot that Master Kenobi participated in, and–"

"Is that footage not classified?" Ki-Adi-Mundi interrupted, frowning.

"The report is, but the footage was not, no," she said. "I watched it multiple times, and after I saw Master Kenobi fighting Boba I checked his report." Her eyes flicked onto him and then back to Ki-Adi-Mundi. "There's no mention of Boba in the non-redacted portions."

There was no mention of Boba in it at all, because Obi-Wan had forgotten about him like an idiot. His cheeks burned with embarrassment. A dozen heads turned and stared at him, and he'd never missed his beard more than he did at that moment.

"You fought Boba Fett?" Plo asked him sharply.

"Moralo Eval paid him to start a brawl with me in order to provide a distraction for his and Bane's escape," Obi-Wan said, staring at Ahsoka. She was very carefully studying her boots. He'd bought her those boots. "After I inserted myself into the escape party I… lost track of him."

"He is very small for his age," Ahsoka said with false sympathy. "I know you had bigger concerns at the time, Master Kenobi."

Obi-Wan's skin crawled like it was covered in ants. All of the extra blood rushing to his face was making his stubble itchier than ever.

"We will contact the Chancellor regarding Boba immediately, Ahsoka," Plo insisted, on the edge of his seat and visibly displeased. "We will ensure the boy is placed into a foster home and receives mind healing. Thank you for your diligence, and for bringing this injustice to our attention."

"Thank you, Master," Ahsoka said with a smile, then bowed to him. Obi-Wan felt irrationally jealous of the warmth in her tone. "But I am not sure that a foster home would be the best fit for Boba. He's young, but skilled at both combat and subterfuge. I'm concerned that he would escape and be at just as much risk on his own." She frowned. "He would likely seek out his father's old compatriots again."

"A fair concern," Kit conceded, his smile long gone.

"Do you have a suggestion?" Depa asked mildly.

Ahsoka clicked her heels together. "I would like to volunteer to serve as Boba's temporary legal guardian until I can reunite him with his family," she said solemnly.

The Council chamber went silent in surprise.

"You're only sixteen," Obi-Wan said faintly. "You can't–"

"Actually, as sixteen is the age of responsibility on Shili, I can," she said frostily. "I am a legal adult."

"It's seventeen on Coruscant," he argued. "You–"

"I believe that if I am trusted to lead a battalion of clone troopers into combat, I should be trusted to safeguard the well-being of a single child," she said, speaking over him. "And according to the most recent immigration statutes passed in the Senate, as a full, dual citizen of both worlds, I am actually considered a legal adult on Coruscant." She smiled at him, all teeth.

"Does he have a family?" Saesee Tiin asked. "I was under the impression that Jango Fett was a loner."

"I spoke with the older clones before coming to the Council, Master," Ahsoka said with perfect poise, and Force did it irritate Obi-Wan to see her use her manners for once. "They informed me that there were members of the Cuy'val Dar – that is, the Mandalorian trainers that Jango Fett recruited to train the clones for war – several of them were very close to him. Under the Mandalorian tradition, some could be considered family."

"What an excellent idea, Padawan," Plo said. "I would be grateful if you would come with me to meet with the Chancellor. I'm certain that you will be able to help me persuade him of the right course of action. We will seek out these Cuy'val Dar together, and reunite young Boba with what family remains to him."

Ahsoka bowed again. "It would be my honor, Master," she said sweetly.

Obi-Wan continued to silently seethe.

"Thank you again, Masters, for taking the time to speak with me," she said warmly, then her eyes flickered over to Obi-Wan. "I do hope that Master Kenobi is not censured too severely for failing to report such egregious abuse of a child. I'm certain he was simply preoccupied with his mission."

That was it. Ahsoka did not get to march into the Council chambers wearing boots that he had bought for her and humiliate him in front of his peers out of childish spite. Obi-Wan's hand slammed down onto the arm of his chair, startling everyone. "A word, Padawan," he said through gritted teeth.

"Of course, Master Kenobi," she said serenely.

He stood and led her brusquely from the Council chamber by her right bicep, ignoring the whispers of his fellow Council members behind them.

"An deach thu às mo chiall?" he hissed once the doors had closed and they had a spot of privacy. He released her arm and glared down at her. "Carson a tha thu a’ toirt eas-urram dhomh?"

"Apologies, Master Kenobi," Ahsoka said politely. "I didn't intend to publicly disrespect you."

He stared down at her. Her refusal to speak Maor-Grásta back to him hurt more than the silent treatment. That was their language. No one else at the Temple spoke the indigenous language of the planet crudely known as Stewjon, not even Anakin, though he had tried to teach him. "So this is how you're going to be, then?" he asked finally.

She blinked at him. "I'm not sure what you mean, Master."

"You damn well do," he snapped, and finally gave in to the urge to scratch his damn scalp. "This is childish of you, Ahsoka. You're better than this."

"Better than what?" she asked, cocking her head. "I've been nothing but polite, Master, but if you find my conduct unbecoming then I apologize. I will meditate on our interaction until Master Plo calls me to meet with the Chancellor." She bowed and turned to leave.

Obi-Wan caught her by the left arm and spun her back around. She hissed in pain and ripped her arm away.

"Please refrain from putting your hands on me, Master Kenobi," she said frostily.

Obi-Wan stared at her, knowing that if he asked what was wrong with her arm he'd get no answer. "I'm not putting my… Ahsoka, please, stop this."

"I'm not sure what you wish me to stop, Master."

"Stop acting like you've never met me before!" Obi-Wan said, raising his voice in frustration.

For just a second, her placid mask crumbled and he saw the devastation she was hiding underneath. The mask reappeared and she looked away, pursed her lips and shrugged. "Recent events have shown that I haven't, Master," she said quietly. "Not really."

Obi-Wan sagged and this time, he didn't stop her from walking away.

Ahsoka went through her mental checklist again. She couldn't muck this up. If she somehow pissed off Chancellor Palpatine or failed to convince him that Boba didn't belong in supermax, the kid was screwed.

"Do not be nervous, little 'Soka," Plo whispered, squeezing Ahsoka's right shoulder reassuringly. They sat together on a plush bench in a waiting area right outside the Chancellor's office.

"I can't help it, Master," she whispered back. "What if I make it even worse, somehow?"

"I would advise you, respectfully of course, to think of what your Master would not do and try that."

Ahsoka snorted. His aura was a little too gold with humor for the seriousness of the situation.

"Trust in the Force. We are in the right, here, and we know this."

She nodded. "Yes, Master."

"You may enter," one of Chancellor Palpatine's secretaries called from the doorway; a short, plump Human woman with black hair shorn down to the scalp and the pale skin of someone who worked and lived exclusively indoors.

Ahsoka took a deep breath and let it out slowly, then followed Master Plo to the Chancellor's office. He was still sitting at his desk, writing something with an electric pen that showed up as a language she didn't recognize on the left side of his desk.

"Master Koon," the Chancellor smiled, and bowed his head. "And Padawan Ahsoka. My, how you've grown since I last saw you! I must say, Anakin raves about you every time we meet. He is very proud of you."

"Thank you, Chancellor," Ahsoka said sheepishly, ducking her head. There was nothing specific about the Chancellor himself that put her on edge, it was the office. There was just something unnerving about it. The statues of the Four Sages seemed to watch her from their posts bordering the room, and some of the art vibrated weirdly in the Force. Nothing she could pin down, just off.

She peered down at the unfamiliar writing on the Chancellor's desk. "That's a beautiful script," she said, projecting her aura out over the room with green serenity-amiability. It helped block out the weird vibrations of his artwork. "I don't recognize it."

"It's the poet's script," the Chancellor said, his naturally violet aura gone blue with appreciation. "It's an old traditional practice on Naboo. It's never been a spoken language, but one used solely for the arts."

"That's fascinating," Ahsoka said, returning his smile. "Do you write poetry, Chancellor?"

He chuckled and looked down, darkening with humility. "Oh, I dabble," he confessed with a smile. "It's a bit self-indulgent, of course, but it calms my mind."

"Nonsense, Chancellor," Plo assured him. "It is good to know that even in this period of war and violence, our leader makes time to create something beautiful for the galaxy."

Ahsoka was impressed. Plo could give Ob– Master Kenobi a run for his credits when it came to schmoozing.

"Ah, well," the Chancellor shrugged, his smile widening. "I doubt you called for an emergency meeting to discuss my poetry, dear. What can I do for you?"

Ahsoka sat up straight. "There has been a grave miscarriage of justice, Chancellor," she said solemnly. "Boba Fett has been placed into supermax alongside adults instead of a juvenile facility. He is a Fett clone, yes, but totally unaltered. He ages at a normal rate, not the accelerated rate of the troopers." She adjusted her projection to include a yellow ribbon of pity. "He's only twelve, Sir. Every second he spends in that place his life, his- his bodily sanctity is at risk."

Chancellor Palpatine went gray with surprise. "Oh, goodness," he said, immediately swiping away his poetry and summoning Boba's file up to the holoscreen of his desk. "Let me see here– ah." His holoscreen filled up with copies of legal documents, medical records, and crime scene holopics. "It seems that the judge presiding over his case determined that he was too dangerous to be kept in a juvenile facility." He glanced at her. "I cannot say that I disagree. He is unnaturally skilled for a boy his age, from what I have heard. He killed a Marshall Commander."

"Respectfully, Chancellor, Commander Ponds was murdered by Aurra Sing. Boba could not pull the trigger," Master Plo gently corrected.

"I understand the risks, Chancellor," Ahsoka said. "I would like to volunteer to serve as his legal guardian until I can reunite him with his father's Mandalorian family."

The Chancellor's eyebrows almost hit his hairline. "Jango Fett had family?" he asked, going a lighter gray with shock.

"In the Mandalorian tradition of found family, yes," Ahsoka nodded.

"So young Boba would escape punishment for his crimes against the Republic?" the Chancellor asked after a moment of curt silence.

"Boba Fett is but a child, Chancellor," Plo said peacefully. "He was manipulated by individuals that were once acquainted with his father and they used his grief to their advantage. They abandoned him at the first opportunity."

The Chancellor nodded, thinking. "That may be so, Master Koon, but he did kill hundreds of his fellow clones through his actions."

"He did, Chancellor, that can't be disputed," Ahsoka said softly, projecting strong amber amenability at him. "But he's an orphan, and he's twelve. He's exceptionally vulnerable to manipulation by adults that knew his father. They're the only connection he has left to him."

"The cadets that he infiltrated reported that he seemed reluctant to leave them to their fate," Plo piped up. "While his quest was misguided from the start, his target was Master Windu. The loss of clone life and the destruction of The Endurance was wholly unintentional."

"While sabotaging the hyperdrive of The Endurance, he had an opportunity to end the life of clone trooper Rivers," Ahsoka added. "He spared his life and stunned him instead. We truly believe that if not for the presence of Aurra Sing, Castas, and Bossk, he never would have taken that step."

"So you propose instead that I pardon the one who killed hundreds of clone troopers, naval officers, and support staff on account of his age?" Chancellor Palpatine steepled his hands underneath his chin and looked at her sympathetically. "I'm sorry, my dear, but I cannot in good conscience do such a thing. Aside from the morality of it, the boy could wreak untold damage if he escaped your custody."

"I promise he won't!" Ahsoka exclaimed, leaning forward. "Please, Chancellor. I know he made a terrible error in judgment that cost many lives, but he's twelve."

"So you've said," the Chancellor said dryly, lowering his hands. "Ahsoka–"

Ahsoka impulsively reached across his desk and clasped his hands. "He needs rehabilitation, not a life sentence before it's even began," she said earnestly. She wouldn't go so far as to try and mind trick him, not with Plo right there, but her Empathy was stronger with physical touch. She let burnt-orange supplication roll down her arms and flow from her hands onto his. "Please, Chancellor," she said, popping her porg eyes. "Just give him a chance."

The Chancellor's aura flushed copper with affection-agreement. "You do make a compelling argument," he said fondly, withdrawing his hands after giving hers a squeeze. "The Great Negotiator has taught you well."

Ahsoka ducked her head with a small smile, trying not to let him feel the cold shock of hurt that Master Kenobi's nickname triggered.

"Very well." He raised his chin to look over Ahsoka's shoulder at his secretary. "Go fetch Commander Fox, please."

"Right away, Sir." The secretary scurried off and the Chancellor drew up a document.

"I shall grant Boba Fett a full pardon, effective immediately," he said, then glanced up at Ahsoka with a smile. He transferred something onto a datapad and handed it to her. It was a legal certificate declaring her the legal guardian of one Boba Fett.

Oh, kriff, she hadn't actually let herself believe that she'd get this far. She had a kid. She had a shabla kid. A shabla clone kid.

"Congratulations, my dear, it's a boy," he said with a small chuckle and a wink. "I do hope Anakin isn't too cross with you. I can't imagine that he expected to become a grandfather quite this early."

Ahsoka's stripes went hot. Her Master… was not going to be pleased with her, to put it lightly, but she just couldn't leave Boba in there a second longer than necessary if she could put a stop to it.

"Please, 'Soka, you have to get him out of there," Rex pleaded, staring at the screen with an aura gone stark white with shock-horror-outrage. "He's so little. They'll kill him, they'll– osik, what have they already done to him–"

She would have done it anyway, but Force if Rex's begging wasn't compelling. She'd break Boba out if she had to.

But really, Anakin was going to kill her once he got back from Toydaria with that Force-sensitive toddler.

"Commander!" Chancellor Palpatine said brightly over Ahsoka's shoulder. "Please escort Master Koon and Padawan Tano down to the detention center. Boba Fett is being released into her custody, effective immediately."

"Oh. Interesting. As you say, Sir," Fox said, then turned to Ahsoka and Plo. "Ready whenever you both are," he nodded.

"Take care, Ahsoka," Chancellor Palpatine said warmly, standing along with them. "And do be on guard with young Boba. From what I understand, the boy is quite crafty, despite his tender age."

"Oh I will, Chancellor, don't worry. I remember how much of a handful he was." Ahsoka bowed and tried to ignore the way the statues of the sages stared at her. "Thank you again. You've saved a life today."

"And my thanks as well, Chancellor," Plo added, bowing after her. "We appreciate your expediency."

"I wish you luck in your endeavor, my dear." Palpatine winked at her. "And don't be afraid to visit more often. I've got some stories about Anakin as a youth that you might enjoy."

Ahsoka's stripes flushed again and she picked at her thumb's cuticle.

"Alright, General, Commander. Let's get you over to the prison before sundown." Fox slung his carbine over his shoulder and led the way out.

Boba curled up tighter on his side, willing the pain in his sides to go away. After he'd jumped Hardeen it had been chaos. He wasn't sure if it was the guards or the other bastards he was locked in here with that had broken his ribs, but it didn't really matter. He needed to get better. He couldn't afford to look weak. Prison was worse than a jungle, at least an animal just killed you and was done with it. The predators here liked to play with their food, first.

"Come on, little man, come bunk with me. I know it gets cold at night, you must be shivering with only a lizard to keep you warm–"

At least in solitary Boba could focus all of his energy on healing instead of defending himself. He chewed on his split lip and readjusted his face against the wall so that his black eye was pressed directly against the cold surface.

"Time to go, Fett."

Boba was sitting upright and ready to respond in under a second. Nobody would know by looking at him that he was holding his breath so as not to scream from the pain. One meiloorun, two meiloorun, three meiloorun–

"Go where?" he asked after a few seconds, cool as a caniphant. Fox, on the other side of the bars, had two DC-17 sidearms, a DC-15A carbine, and two vibroblade hits sticking out from his gauntlets. Two pairs of cuffs hung from his belt next to a small canister of capsaicin spray.

Boba could get to the spray the easiest, kick the back of Fox's knee, twist his arm and grab the blaster–

"It's your lucky day, cyar'solus," Fox said, undoing the biometric locks on his cell.

"Don't call me that," he snapped. Damn it, Boba didn't want to go back to genpop yet, he was still too injured. The guards tried to watch out for him; some of them did, anyway, the ones who didn't hiss vod'kyramud when he passed them in the halls. Bossk usually stuck up for him but he was just one man. Boba already had a size disadvantage, but with his ribs fucked his speed suffered. He eyed the capsaicin spray at Fox's belt again. He'd get his ass kicked if he went for it, but they'd keep him in solitary longer. Fox had the frame of a gundark but he wasn't a shabuir, he would just give him another lump or two before locking his cell again instead of rebreaking things on purpose.

Fox snickered. "I'll call you whatever I want. Now face down on the floor, you know how this works."

Yeah, he did. Boba swallowed hard and carefully got on his belly, watching the canister of spray swing closer. The floor was hard but the cold felt good. He took a deep breath and prepared to make his move.

As if Fox knew what he'd been thinking, he walked around him in a wide circle and approached from behind before cuffing him. He pulled Boba to his feet, gentler than he expected. "You're being given a second chance, kid," he said quietly. "Don't kark it up."

"The fuck does that mean?" Boba asked faintly; even with Fox's careful grip, he wasn't able to draw in air properly with the way his ribs were screaming.

"You're getting out."

"What?" Boba tried to spin around and look at Fox, but he kept a firm hold of his cuffed hands and kept him from turning.

"Walk, squirt," Fox said in a bored voice.

Where was he going? Where were they sending him? It hit him then, what had to have happened; Aurra. He knew she wouldn't abandon him. She'd had to make a tactical retreat, that was all. Somehow she'd pulled in a favor or used her connections in the guild, or maybe even kidnapped a judge. He fought down a smirk as they walked past the other inmates, all howling and hissing and complaining about his special treatment.

He was foolish to have given up on Aurra. She really did care about him.

"Stand here." Fox started undoing the locks to the hall that led to the private interview rooms, the ones that prisoners used to meet with their attorneys.

Boba never had an attorney. He had gone through sentencing on his own.

"Alright, walk." Fox took him by the cuffs and shoved him forward through the door. "And be respectful."

"Respectful to who?" Boba grouched.

"Your new mum," Fox snickered, stopping in front of a door halfway down the hall. "Congratulations. You've been adopted."

Boba whipped his head up so fast that black spots appeared in his eyes. "I've been fucking what?" he squeaked.

Fox pushed him inside of the interview room while he was still reeling. Instead of Aurra, the two Jedi who had arrested him were waiting inside; a Kel Dor who towered over everyone, even Fox, and a scrawny orange Togruta with big blue bug eyes and two sabers on her belt. She was taller than he remembered.

"Koh-to-yah, Boba Fett," the Kel Dor said, bowing to him. "I am Jedi Master Plo Koon, and this is Padawan Ahsoka Tano."

"The fuck do you cunts want?" Boba spat, furious at himself for being so stupid that he thought Aurra would come for him. He was such a gullible di'kut. Of course she didn't really care. He was never anything but clout to her, just something of Jango's that she could show off.

The Tog blinked at him, obviously shocked. The little princess obviously wasn't used to bad language. "I, um, I…"

"Go ahead, Ahsoka," the Kel Dor said with a little pat on her back.

She took a deep breath, stepped forward, and then smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder. He felt the tension in his back muscles ease a little, weirdly enough. "I want to get you out of here, if that's alright with you."

"Why the fuck should I go anywhere with you?" Boba asked suspiciously, then backed up so he could keep the both of them in plain view. "You're the cunts who put me in here. Why do you care?"

"We never meant for you to be placed in a place such as this, young man," the Kel Dor said apologetically.

"We want to help you find your family, Boba," the Tog said earnestly.

"Are you both fucking stupid?" Boba snapped. "I don't have any family. The Jedi killed the only family I had."

The Tog and Kel Dor exchanged looks. "I know, Boba," the Tog said. "And I'm sorry for your loss."

Boba looked at his feet.

"Why don't we be on our way?" the Kel Dor suggested. "We have much to discuss, but there's no need to do so on an empty stomach. I find myself craving a milkshake."

"Oooh, I could go for a milkshake," the Tog said with her brow markings raised. "How about you, Boba?"

"I don't want a fucking milkshake, I want to know what's going on!" Boba said, backing up into Fox. He… he needed to get away from these people. They had some sort of weird plan for him, he was sure of it. What if they wanted to send him back to Kamino? Maybe they wanted to string him up in a lab and use him to make more of their precious troopers. Without Dad the longnecks couldn't make them like they used to, and Boba was a perfect copy. "What did Fox mean? He said I was going to meet my new mum, what did he mean by that?"

The Tog bit her lip and looked at him. "That, um, that would be me," she said sheepishly. "I… I'm your legal guardian."

"You're my legal guardian?" Boba stared at her. She looked barely older than him, though she was a lot taller than he remembered.

"Yep," she said happily, rocking back on her heels. "So, what do you say? Ready to go?"

Boba glanced up at Fox, who gave him a reassuring nod. "Not like I have a fucking choice, do I?" he asked sullenly.

"No, you don't," the Kel Dor – Koon, Boba remembered he said his name was – said gently. "But I imagine that you would choose to leave the Republic Judiciary Central Detention Center."

"Obviously," Boba said, frowning.

"So." Koon shrugged. "Shall we?"

The Tog smiled brightly at him. He realized that she was nervous, and for some reason that made him feel better.

"Fine." Boba rubbed his wrists after Fox unlocked his cuffs. Whatever. Fox didn't need to help him, he could do this on his own. He just had to stick with them long enough to get out of prison. The second the idiots turned their backs, he'd be out of there. Boba glanced up and met the Tog's nervous gaze. "But I'm not calling you fucking Mum."

Author's Notes:

MAOR-GRÁSTA TRANSLATIONS An deach thu às mo chiall?: Have you gone insane? Carson a tha thu a’ toirt eas-urram dhomh?: Why are you disrespecting me? MANDO'A TRANSLATIONS cyar'solus: beloved one, the clones' nickname for Boba since he was a special snowflake chosen baby (Thank you Squid_Ink 😘) shabuir: motherfucker vod'kyramud: brother-killer osik: shit OTHER NOTES Mace has a picture of all of his padawans and grand-padawans in his wallet and he shows everyone constantly. It's canon, George Lucas actually told me himself. Palpatine was pretty easy to convince, wasn't he? It's almost like he likes sowing discord between Anakin and his loved ones hmm odd yes very odd indeed Ponds was promoted for plot related purposes ✌️

Taglist: @starwarsficnetwork @soliloquy-of-nemo Dividers: @saradika-graphics

[fanofstuff01]

Making a proper intro post

Rules (and other mildly important stuff)

-Minors do not interact. This account has 18+ content and I often use swears in casual talking. Here. Even if you stay you are warned.

-I am not very online, so asks/rbs/replies can wait for even weeks, but I’ll get to them as soon as I can, promise.

-I’m not exactly comfortable with chatting/getting personal DMs from people I don’t follow/don’t know due to an experience I went through before, so if you have anything to ask about me just send it through the ask box.

-I have respect for all shippers as long as it’s not minor x adult both physically and mentally, relative x relative, abusive etc. If you ship anything like this GO AWAY.

-I do have some ships I hate, and I may speak of them bad or mock them in the account, but I still don’t mind if you ship them. You do you and I do mine.

-I do not want controversies unless they're directly tied to me. Other than that please do not drag me into them unless it's actually needed.

-Okay, so just adding this cause this is my pinned post, but Turkey is currently closing a lot of apps to access cause of reasons I don’t know. If one day I go completely offline, know that I can’t access Tumblr.

With that’s out of the way,

About

-So, hey :] I’m fanofstuff, a bland person who finds her stress relief in her Tumblr, and this is my dumb little account about my ship ships, aus and fandoms.

-This account is mainly focused on Hazbin but I just post things from the back of my head lol

-Multishipper for most

-My English is not the best cause I’m Turkish, so sorry for possible stupid grammar mistakes.

-I happen to be alive but gay (bi) 😔. Also I’m in the ace spectrum and use she/her.

-I sometimes write ass fics because I fucking can

-I have two rp accounts for Adam and Lucifer, @the-original-dick-1 and @the-king-of-hell-66-6. I also have a Charlie and Vaggie ask blog, @chaggie-askblog and an Angel Dust one, @ask-angel-dust-4

Fandoms

-Hazbin Hotel (Main)

Favorite character: Lucifer

-Ninjago

Favorite Character: Jay, Cole or Lloyd

-Percy Jackson

Favorite Character: Percy, Nico, Hazel or Leo

-Gravity Falls

Favorite Character: Dipper, Bill or Grunkle Stan

-The Owl House

Favorite Character: Willow

-Slay the Princess

Favorite Character: The Voice of Cold, The Thorn Princess or The Spectre Princess

-Murder Drones

Favorite Character: N

-Ramshackle

Favorite Character: Skipp, Vinnie or Stone

-Night in the Woods

Favorite Character: Gregg or Mae

-Helluva Boss

Favorite Character: Fizzarolli, Stolas or Bee

-Mouthwashing

Favorite Character: Swansea, Daisuke or Anya

-Tangled the Series

Favorite Character: Rapunzel or Varian

And more but I’m on these rn

Does Eurovision 2024 count? lol

Main Ships

-Adamsapple (Adam x Lucifer)

-Emilute (Emily x Lute)

-Fallenstar (Vaggie x Charlie)

-Guitargates (Adam x Saint Peter)

-Staticmoth (Vox x Valentino)

-Cherrisnake (Cherri Bomb x Sir Pentious)

-Lava (Cole x Kai)

-Hydroelectric (Jay x Nya)

-Pixane (Pixal x Zane)

-Plasma (Kai x Jay)

-Percabeth (Percy x Annabeth)

-Solangelo (Will x Nico)

-The Long Quiet x Princess

-Lumity (Luz x Amity)

-Huntlow (Hunter x Willow)

-Dipcifica (Dipper x Pacifica)

-Raeda (Raine x Eda)

-Nuzi (N x Uzi)

-Rapunzel x Eugene

-Varigo (Varian x Hugo)

-Fizzozzie (Fizz x Ozzie)

-M&M (Moxxie x Millie)

-Stoliz (Stolas x Blitz)

And more

Other social media

AO3: @/fanofstuff02

Tiktok: @/fanofstuff03

Twitter/X: @/fanofstuff04

Bluesky: @/fanofstuff05

Here I’m unoriginal

That’s all, enjoy!

[justaguylukas]

Art Dump!! Ronda two!!

BUDLEY EXOTIC ESCAPADE OMG I LOVE HIM!! This is probably my favourite drawing I've made of him yet lol. The basis of this drawing is funny. Apparently, I have a "zesty hand" according to my friends which I'll show below here...

... and there was a beta image of Budley doing a similar pose and so my friend made the comparison and I HAD to draw Bud doing my "Zesty hand" pose. That's all I love Budley Exotic Escapade.

Here's some birthday art I made for my best friend, Enri :D Like with Bud, this is also my favourite drawing I've done for Zee complete with Olivia Von Trashpanda here to celebrate. Me, Chase, and some whale are here to also join the party.

Here's Tom from Disventure Camp that I made for one of my friends! I even made a shirtless version because... he likes Tom LOL. Speaking of shirtless, I'm still somewhat new to drawing shirtless characters so it probably doesn't look too great. And the anatomy in general is all over the place lol. And because I'm stupid...

I- Uhh...

Sigh. Yeah I made the Hooters outfit. It was a hot topic for the DC fandom that lasted like 3 days lol so I decided to join in on the fun. It even appeared in MachemRodez' video with my permission :0

Also while drawing Tom, I noticed that all his scars basically have the same design lol.

HERE'S DUKE DOG!! Ok ngl, I thought this looked good until I saw the face. I don't think it looks horrible, but it could look better. Drawing faces was NEVER my strong suit, and it still isn't. This is my first time drawing a plus-sized character so I hope that I did a good first try on it.

I have mixed feelings on this drawing. I love the idea of Budley and Zee getting to know each other but I'm just not feeling it with this drawing. It's not terrible but I think I can do better. I also HATE drawing backgrounds with a burning passion!! Anyway, Zee is drinking orange soda and Budley is drinking some green tea because he is painfully British

HERE'S SCARY GIRL (I like to call her Scary Bitch)!! This is the first time I've ever drawn her. I always forget about Scary Girl because she's such an anomaly from the cast, which is weird because you would expect her to be the most memorable to me. But no. I still like Scary Girl but she's tied with Axel for my least favourite reboot character. I DO NOT HATE THEM!! ALL OF THE REBOOT CAST IS GREAT!!

What a mediocre drawing of Kaison Kekoa lol. Usually when I draw a character for the first time, it's usually p mediocre, which is to be expected from almost every artist (I think?). But for the first time, I don't think it's too bad. At least I'm getting better with drawing shirtless characters.

I don't know if I'm egotistical or confident for saying this, but I think this is one of my best drawings, especially when it comes to the anatomy. I also drew him as somewhat chubby because it makes him look more hot ngl.

I think I drew Kaison much better here (The ponytail kills me omg I kinda hate how I drew it). Also Ean's here. Not much to say but this drawing holds a record because this is the quickest drawing I've made, taking me 1 hour and 59 minutes to make. If I had to change some things, it'd be to make Kaison's eyebrows thinner and change Ean's body position since it looks kinda awk.

Not much to say here. I like how I drew Blitz EXCEPT FOR the hands and arms.

We're on a roll with the Exotic Escapade drawings! 5 in a row! Kaison, Levi, Ean/Kaison (again), Blitz, and now Carter! This is birthday art that I made for my friend Mitch who absolutely adores Carter.

Speaking of birthday art...

Here's birthday art for Josu!! :D (While also breaking the Exotic Escapade trend)

You may know him for making those amazing Minecraft models of the reboot cast, and I decided to draw one of his models for his belated 18th birthday :0

Drawing this was kind of tedious and fun because I am HORRIBLE with drawing 3D but it was also a fun lil' experiment.

Three birthday art in a row!? Man! Here's my birthday art for another good friend of mine, Vikkstar :D

This is also my first time drawing a female Exotic Escapade character.

It's been a while since I drew some TD art (Does Minecraft Wayne count?) so enjoy this Nichayne art :D

I'm kinda annoyed with how Nichelle's body looks but overall I'm still very proud of this drawing. Nichayne is such a cute pair I love them sm!!

And to end off this art dump, here's Millie!! Not much to say here, I just think she's SUPER underrated and/or overhated!!

[deadmanscity-writing]

Blitzø x Fem!Reader

Request:

This was requested by a friend of mine :)

Now, she didn’t give an outline/scenario, so I’m going to place it in the first episode! Do I care if it’s not canon anymore? No. Am I using this as an excuse to rewatch, potentially, the whole series..? MAYBE.

…

Anyway!

Background:

Reader is a sinner that was originally murdered by some self proclaimed (psychotic) saint/savoir, and she wasn’t meeting his standard of being a “good christian.” Reader does lean quite a bit towards atheism here. So! Reader hires Blitz to [Unalive] him, he also ends up in hell. What a surprise..!

Story outline I have chosen:

Reader works with Blitz, and knows the whole… deal.. Going on with him and Stalos. But, it’s no secret that they’re down right in love with each other. Well- It is a secret to Blitz, ‘cause he is the king at not knowing how feelings work, nor how to read them.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

With busy streets and honking cars, a meeting took place in a fairly sorry excuse for a work studio.

Blitz paces at the front of the room. He claps to get our attention before speaking, “All right, now I know business has been a.. bit slow…” He moves one hand to his hip, keeping one in the air to emphasize his words, “lately, yes. It’s no one’s fault! Okay?” I look at him with an eyebrow raised as he brings his hands up, fully facing us. Ya’ Know he’s going to blame… *someone* He hits his hands on the table we sit at. “I’m not naming any names here-” here it comes.. I sigh at what’s coming next. “Moxie.”

I, and Moxie give Blitz the same look. “Now.. I don’t think it’s his fault…” I mutter, slinking back into my chair.

“Now, does anyone have any bright ideas?” Moxie’s face now looks completely with discuss as he looks at him, to which I snort at. Blitz looks at me, having a short lived smile gracing his lips, before looking forward, and continuing his lecture. “On how we can get business drummin’ up again?!”

Me, having shortly spaced out, while looking in the general direction of Blitz, *totally not /at/ him*, I jump as Millie enthusiastically suggests, while standing on her seat and leaning over the table with one hand; “What. About. A car wash?”

“Why a car wash..?” I ask, “To be frank, it really mostly helps with school fundraisers… in the living world.”

With his arms crossed, he brings an argument to Millie, “Yes, what [Name] said. And this is Hell, Millie.” He throws his arms out, “No one cares about CARS BEING CLEAN HERE! Okay?!” He rubs his temples, before getting quite the mood change. “Oh- What about a billboard?” I swear on Satan’s red Hell, that he just summoned sparkles out of thin-air with the childish-cheeky attitude. Cute…

Moxie looks to the side, “We can’t afford a billboard, Sir-” being interrupted with Blitz sliding next to him, and throwing his arm around his shoulders.

“Helpful, Moxie. Really glad you’re in the room right now.”

“This room is drowning with sarcasm, my dear, Blitz~” I say, with my cheek propped up on my palm, a straight face, and almost hooded eyes.

Blitz looks at me with a flushed look, and jutted out lips, almost a pout, before clearing his throat, and continuing to speak.

Well… not before throwing Moxie off his seat. Poor guy.

“Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?!” He reaches into his inner coat pocket, fishing out a remote.

As he presses it, the 80’s styled TV turns on and plays an ad that Blitz paid to air. An ad I didn’t feel like participating in, even after all Blitz’s whining and begging.

It shows:

Blitz whacking a character with a wooden sledge hammer with a short cackle, as the other falls off screen.

Then, Moxie with his gun in someone's mouth, that is tied up to a chair, blowing their brains out, which makes a transition to Loona… umm… how do I even describe that..?

Then.. Millie cleanly slicing another's head off, with a smile and laugh.

While watching it, Blitz stands in front of the TV with raw amusement, holding a bowl of popcorn in front of Loona while she eats it. Millie sitting on the table, Moxie in front of her rubbing his head, and I, right next to Loona, occasionally reaching for a kernel or two.

“Ah. Those were the good times.” Blitz says as if he was an elder looking back to his teenage years.

“I don’t need any reminding, Sir,” Moxie responds, almost bitterly.

“You tell him, Mox..!” I say with boredom.

“Now- wait a minute, whose side are you on?” Blitz turns dramatically to face me.

“Mine.” I reach over, grabbing a popcorn kernel, popping it in my mouth while I stare at him.

“Anyway…” Moxie says, “I don’t need any reminding, considering YOU blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week.” He holds his face in annoyance, while Blitz just continues throwing handful after handful of popcorn in his mouth, staring at the TV while sitting on the floor. “One that you then additionally paid to run for a full THREE HOURS on a channel NOBODY. WATCHES.”

I sigh, rolling my eyes, “Blitz, baby, at the very least look at him?”

He sighs, responding to Moxie, peaking at him over his shoulder, “Uh- Hey- excuse me! What’s obnoxious about a super fun jingle? All right.” M&M sit back down in their respective seats at the table. “It’s a fun distraction when an advertisement spittin’ bullshit!”

I exhale dramatically, Not what I meant- “you know what..? Good enough!” I slam my hands on the table, standing up.

Everyone’s eyes widen, looking at me, even Loona.

I lock my hands together, taking a deep breath… “Sorry. It’s just… can’t you two be in the same room without grabbing each other's throats..?”

“Ha-”

“Blitz.” I interrupted. Pointedly staring at him. His face falls as he clears his throat, waiting for me to finish. “As I was saying,” I side eye him, before looking at both him and Moxie, “You two are always at each other's throats, bickering, pointing out the others faults.” My grip on the table gets stiffer, my nails scratching the wooden surface. “And right now, it’s just about to get on my last damned nerve…”

They both swallow.

“Now! That’s over with! Let’s get back to /business/ shall we?” I sit back down, with an one-eighty attitude and a feigned smile.

“People love musicals, sir!” Millie breaks the tension.

“Exactly, Millie!” He points at her, then brings his arms to a shrug, “and we’re basically doin’ a musical.” He makes jazz hands, before pointing at Moxie with an incredulous attitude. I roll my eyes once again at what’s coming. “Are you gonna crush my musical theater dreams, like my dad did?”

“Well damn, que the dramatics.” I say with an impressed expression.

“Sir-”

“‘Cause right now.. All I see is just my dad’s ASSHOLE talking to me. Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside..” He faces away, closing his eyes, and clutching his fist.

“Are you trying to crush his dreams, Moxie?”

“I- what?”

“I thought I knew you..”

I blink blankly. Then I turn to look at Blitz. Then back at M&M. Then at the table in the areas that I scratched up. I start picking at the indents.

“I’d like to go on record-” Wait- what’s going on?- “and say that the incident was /Loona’s/ fault. Dispatch is suppose to give us the right info on the target. It’s very simple.”

Oh… That’s what's going on…

“Oh, sit on a dick, Moxie.” I snort at Loona’s response, quickly looking away and covering my mouth.

“I know I’d want to sit on one~” I bit my lip, not-so-slyly looking at Blitz. We make eye contact, and he blushes, clearing his throat and looking away.

Ignoring my comment and the small tension I’ve caused, Moxie attempts to backhand Loona; “You sit! Sit on a- and the- di- DO YOUR JOB!” He gives up. He hits his hand on the table, making a small *thump*.

“Hey! Now we don’t blame our screw-ups on Loona, okay?” He walks behind Loona, also ending up behind me as well. “She didn’t do anything wrong.” Blitz wraps his arms around her, and rubs his cheek against hers.

I smile, even as she growls.

“Are you kidding me sir? She’s awful.”

My smile drops as I look towards Moxie, “Moxie, not really the time.”

“Oh, please, just because you’re in love with sir doesn’t mean you can just boss us around! You have to agree that Loona is at fault, at least some of the time. And that she doesn’t know how to do her job, let alone have a decent amount of respect for anyone here!”

“Well, that is true, and I will not deny that, but now is not the time, Moxie-”

“Wait- wait- wait. What did you just say Moxie..?” Blitz puts his hands up in a back-away motion, eyeing Moxie wearily.

“I said; just because she’s in love with you, sir, doesn’t mean she can just boss us around. And-”

“In love… with me?” He points at himself, confused. He then gestures to me, “Her? In love… with me?... Yeah. No way. Don’t lie here Moxie.” He tries to play it off, waving his hand, as if trying to wave away the thought of me actually liking him.

“Sir, is it really not that obvious? She chooses to go with you if we have a split off mission, with just three or all four of us. She asked you directly where you live, and your number so she can check up on you, make surprise visits, and make sure you’re happy, and in no way lonely. She has everything about you memorized. She’s practically obsessed with you, sir.”

“Wha..?” His gaze drifts to mine. I carry a blush on my cheeks, and an upside down smile.

“I wasn’t really trying to hide it…”

[chaifootsteps]

I used to dislike blitzo back in season 1-early 2 cuz he was a jerk and abusive and the story tried to justify it with "womp womp he has trauma and he only wants to tough moxxie up so it's okay". And i was supposed to feel bad about his ass? After he verbally abused moxxie throughout all his work life and threteaned to rape him and his wife? Used verosika and stole from her when they where together? Disrespected barbie's boundaries and feelings? Dissmissed fizz's feelings and unintentionally said "hey i lost my mom bitch, you aren't the only one who has problems" WHEN FIZZ WAS FUCKING BURNED ALIVE, LOST HIS LIMBS AND HORNS AND WAS TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU I MIND YOU.

To be clear, i don't hate asshole characters. I hate when asshole characters are being coddled and excused by the narrative, it's insufferable to watch. Blitz was this. An asshole character who was excused by the writers and you are expected to feel bad about his ass when he got humilated in the club. Thanks i hate it. And it sucks because i love the concept of an abusive asshole realizing he is an abuser and trying to do better to people who he wronged. But i couldn't handle the awful execution.

And guess what?

FUCK MY ASS I'VE CHANGED MY MIND. I feel so bad for blitzo now lmao. The 2 times when blitzo isn't at fault THE WRITERS TRY TO PUT ALL THE BLAME ON BLITZO AND EXCUSE PEOPLE WHO ABUSE HIM JUST WHY. Loona physically assaults him when he respecfully asks her to be nicer to their clients because IT'S HER FUCKING JOB BITCH THEY WILL LOSE MONEY IF YOU DON'T AND IT AFFECTS YOU AS WELL YOU LITERALLY LIVE WITH HIM. And then she kicks him in nuts when all he did was apologising and attempting to hug her? What's funny? What's funny about this 22-years-old grown ass woman physically harming her adoptive dad who provides her a linvinghood, job and unconditional love when she is an adult? And saved her from a toxic and dangerous enviorment? Are you trying to say *he* is in the wrong in this situation and *deserves* to be beaten up by a person he has never wronged in his life? Are you kidding me? Why am i supposed to hate stella, who is abusing stolas, but expected to like loona, who is abusing blitz and moxxie, and to find her abuse "funny" and slapstick? You can't have both, pick one vivzie!

And speaking of stolas...i don't even want to talk about it. I feel horrible for blitzo. Yes, he was an asshole and was only using stolas to get the book, but it was stolas who made their relationship transactional. It was stolas who reffered to blitzo as "his impish plaything". It was stolas who only ever asked from blitzo sex and sexually harassed him on daily basis. He even put a cigrette on his horn likw wtf? It was stolas who made the deal when blitzo couldn't even consent because he, you know, WAS ABOUT TO GET MURDERED BY THE CANNIBALS? AND STOLAS WAS FULLY AWARE OF IT? And the list goes on and on...

"You think so low of me?" GO FUCK YOURSELF LMAO THIS IS SO BAD I CAN'T. ARE YOU REALLY THIS DELUSIONAL?

Okay, even we pretend none of the above happened and was retconned, blitzo *owns you nothing* stolas. If he doesn't have feelings for you it's not *his* fault. He shouldn't have his buisness tied to your bird ass to spend time with you (and in case if he doesn't, he will lose his job, how fair) if he doesn't love you. Get a life please, you only known this guy for *less than a day* and it was *25 years ago*. And he was completely disinterested in your hobbies and was literally only there because he was manipulated by his father and *sold to you like an object or a toy*. And you still obsessed over this random dude who doesn't even like you and love him more than your own daugther whom you known for 17 years??? Wow, such victim fel bed for him he so pooor :((((

And it doesn't help how not only the writers, almost an entire fandom thinks blitzo is abusive towards stolas or deserves to be kicked out by stolas or be beaten up by loona ("for comedy*) it's not funny. It makes me sick. It's the same as blitzo beating the shit out of moxxie and people praising *blitzo*. But not it's stolas abusing blitzo and people praising *stolas*

Fuck it.

I used to hate this guy, but now i can't feel anything but pity him. It's tragic how everyone blames him for things HE ISN'T EVEN AT FAULT HE DESERVES BETTER.

You're preaching to the choir, Anon! Blitzo is a tremendous asshole, multiple characters' lives are worse for knowing him, but he's a victim here -- and a chilling reminder of just how far people will go to defend a charming, attractive abuser that knows how to play the sympathy card.

[trashogram]

No cause like apology your makes me so mad cause in a different universe where episode 8 was written well and wasn't a Stolas sob feast entirely I wouldn't loved to see this pretty dynamic between Stolas and Blitz. See, I see them at the party having their talk or even when Blitz when to go see Stolas as them finally being on some type of equal grounding. Stolas is treating Blitz like a normal fucking being for once (as much as he can), and him and Blitz are actually having more than what seems like a one sided conversation they always have

God like, I began crying out of fucking anger at how this show was written. This show could've made people feel bad for Stolas while also not liking him, this show could've done the same for Blitz, they could've actually made them equally horrible for each other and actually learn to become normal before getting into a proper relationship, while it not being the main plot of the show. When Stolas was talking to Blitz drunk at the Blitz hate party of whatever, for the first time, that to me felt like he was genuine treating Blitz as a fucking human and talking to him as if he's just a friend he's having a small falling out with. It actually hurts me so much how much is missed out with these two

IK people mainly on the critical side of Vivziepop stuff doesn't see Blitz and Stolas as characters who should've been together at all, or completely hate Stolas (not saying neither or those are not valid either), but the fucking missed potential, the actual arc these two could've gone through, if it wasn't for Vivzie's STUPID writing and just wanting the two queer men to rub their dicks together cause she loves seeing it soooo much

I've never been on your blog before so hope you don't mind me just dropping this here I just need to say my thoughts!!!!

No worries! It’s ok to vent here :)

I understand your perspective on how their relationship could’ve been built up into something worth enjoying. I think a lot of ppl write it off as only being a crackship at best because of the power imbalance and so many need to feel as if the only relationships worth enjoying in fiction are healthy — but I wouldn’t mind it if Stolitz was a thing made genuine if the relationship was built up.

As it stands, we still don’t know what these two characters see in each other that proves that they have sincere feelings for each other outside of lust, delusion, and clear annoyance. Idk how anybody finds that appealing. What does Stolas like about Blitzø? Can anyone name one thing that isn’t tied to sex? What does Blitzø like about Stolas outside of sex? Nothing, as far as we know.

[torisaysyeet]

oh my god, I think I finally understand why Blitz would date a succubus and fuck up the relationship. Blitz views sex as easier than a relationship, or views relationships as being only about sex. When he dated Verosika, he was assuming the relationship would be exclusively sex, because she's a succubus and that's what succubi do. BUT! Verosika actually wanted a romantic relationship as well! So when Blitz couldn't understand that's what she wanted, he ended the relationship however it ended in canon.

The reason Blitz also doesn't understand romance - or assumes he's unlovable - could also be tied to the accident at the circus. He was going to confess to Fizz but didn't in a fit of rage, seeing how Buckzo was treating Fizz, and resulting in not only severely injuring his best friend but killing his mother. The first time he was really going to tell someone he loved them romantically, he ruined much more than he could've imagined (albeit completely unintentionally).

This is effectively all headcanon until anything is clarified later, but I am trying to pull pieces from canon to reason. Ultimately, unless Viv says something about it all, don't assume this is real.

[seeyabythemarina]

Lucifers judgement

Stoles is on trial for everything hes done by the goetia family. When it about to call his judgement Lucier dramatically appears. He likes I.M.P job and want them to continue.

Paimon tries to argue that it increasing the amount of sinners but luci agruued back that killing the human just speeds it up and if they died naturally they still would of came to hell.

Paimon then says that heaven isn't going to like it.luci says that why it good and tell paimon being afraid of heaven is bad for king of hell. Paimon shut up and ask what luci thinks.

Luci say that if stoles is such and embarrassment he should be disowned from the doeyia family and be complety tied to him. He will be in charge of keeping I.M.P in check in the killing of people on earth. He also say that will be a new title and job in hell and that Octavia will have to come with stoles

Andre, stella, and paimon object as Octavia is a precautionary heir to the goetia family. Lucifer say that if Octavia comes he'll give paimon and very potent fertility potion that could have stella birth triples.

Asking stolas paimon say if he agrees to go with lucifer he'll need have any association with the Gordian family again and that if he just accepts his punishment and makes up with stella he'll be forgiven. Stoles talk to Octavia about it and she say that she fine with it as being disowned from the foetia family would mean she wouldn't have to deal with rich jerk for a while. Stoles agrees with luckier request is complete disowned from the goetias.

Stella is angry that via agreed to stay with her father, but Andre say that might be able to use this. Andre say that might be able to convince via to come back without stella having to give birth again.

With blitz he desnt like how stolas is basically more their boss, but guess it better than having someone like Andre in charge. It mostly get with awkward with them still not knowing how to communicate.