#she thinks that of herself but she isn't that at all

[cheyisagirlkisser]

hi!! could u pls write about prison vi or ellie x sweetheart reader who works as the librarian at the prison <3

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮. (𝐕𝐈)

content: fem reader who works at stillwater's library, prisoner vi, fluff, powder mention, mention of implied sa, kind of angsty because i can't write stillwater without mentioning the injustice.

a/n: hi anon sorry for the long wait for this request i've been brainstorming for it but decided to wait until frenzy was out to start it. as for ellie, i have an ellie and sweetheart reader fic i've been working on! it's still deep in the drafts though. i hope you enjoy this:)

Stillwater's contents are harsh and hard to look at. The walls, stacks to the highest of heights, are simply grey bricks with cracks that will never see maintenance. The cafeteria's lighting is low and depressing, and the view of the prison from afar is of the alcatraz, only that prison would be a heaven for stillwater's inhabitants.

The cells are even worse, and that is where prisoners stay most of their sentence. Writings on the drab-toned walls is not uncommon. The beds are made of cheap steel, the springs imprinting into the backs of prisoners even through a mattress layer. Stillwater is the type of place you'd see parents make up scary stories about to keep their children out of inevitable trouble.

However, inside the high fence surrounding the institution, there lay one part that is less Edgar Allen Poe-esque.

You take pride in the library you've been given. Just on the first floor and to the right, prisoners can enter through the doors if they are permitted free time. Inside is your job and where you try to make the miserable a bit less miserable.

You were born in Piltover to a wealthy family, though you didn't care for the life of arts and exquisite tastes. Instead, you secured a well-paying job at a prison most people would rather gauge their eyes out than step foot in. It was when you caught a glimpse of a face through a dark, hidden cell that you accepted the job, and from there, you've tried your best to correct enforcer wrongs.

You sit at the front desk, a pen in your hand.

Click. Click. Click. Click.

Around you is the library you've furnished with books-some your favorites, some you've found as donated treasures or upon a relative's dust-collecting shelf. Though it isn't much, you work with the budget given to, as the council calls it, "provide prisoners with educational resources." You'd like to say that it's more than that for you, however.

You've grown fond of a few prisoners, and some are regulars. Many don't bother with the library, but the ones who do are often the people that you think about at night. Their stories keep you up.

A single mother whose choices were limited, while the mouths she needed to feed were needy.

A man whose daughter was spotted on the street by a group of thugs, a man who would rather be put on trial for murders than know that the men walked freely.

Countless stories of people who deserved a lesser sentence or none at all, while the council's own crimes stack like a pile of dirty magazines.

One girl in general separates herself from the rest, however. You find yourself thinking about her the most.

Click, click, click, click.

You hear the door open, two enforcers present behind Vi. They shut the door behind her, and she walks towards you without much hesitation.

"Got anything new for me?" She asks, eyes briefly glancing over the stack of paperwork at your desk before meeting yours.

"It's been a while since you've visited." You notice, as if asking for an explanation.

"What, you miss me or somethin'?" Vi teases, laughing at the small, embarrassed huff that slips past your lips.

"I'm allowed to care for the people here, especially you. Please tell me you didn't get yourself into anymore trouble, Vi. I told you it worries me." Your tone carries a hint of worry that Vi is unfamiliar with in other people. She doesn't get much bonding behind bars, and to be frank, she doesn't know how to take it.

"It wasn't my fault." She says quietly, not quite meeting your concerned gaze. "I just want something to read. Anything new for me?"

You nod, stepping behind the desk and leading her to an aisle a few rows down. It's further out from your desk, and your heels are loud on the ground, especially loud with just you and Vi in your library.

"I'll never get how you walk in those shoes." You hear Vi say from behind you, and you laugh despite the jab.

"I'm used to it." You simply tell her, leading her down through the aisle.

"I forget you're a Piltie." Though that is another insult, there is something fonder hidden behind it. You know how much Vi hates the better-off, and if she forgets she hates you, isn't that a good thing? "You know, when me and my sister were little, I remember how much she wanted a pair of shoes just like those. I always thought they looked silly, but they kinda suit you." She says quietly, a softness in her voice.

You stop at the end of the aisle and grab a novel from the fourth shelf. You turn back to Vi and hold it up for her eyes to read over the title.

"Your Native Land, Your Life." Vi reads aloud, brows furrowed in confusion. "A poetry collection?"

You nod, a small smile on your face. "Yup. Some of her poetry took me a while to understand, but I think the read is worth it. Really beautiful stuff."

Vi nods, and you're glad she doesn't make a move to leave. You take in her tattoed face and the sharpness of her jaw. It always bothers you how little they feed Stillwater prisoners, but at the same time, something in Vi carries a beauty that you like to admire when you're allowed to.

You think that there is something sweet in Vi that can't ever truly die. You see many prisoners harden with their experiences in here, but not Vi. She carries herself with violence in her cell and throughout the hallways with the rest of the group, but the bits of information she shares with you regarding her sister tells you otherwise. The way she speaks to you makes you want to ask what you are to her, but you refrain. It's mere kindness, and you should be professional.

Still, you don't move away or scream for the guards as she currently leans in. You let her breath hit your face.

"You confuse the hell out of me." She tells you, quietly and intimately. When you seem confused, she continues. "I know you've heard the stories about me. The things I've done to people in here. Yet you still look at me like I'm as innocent as a doe."

"You aren't automatically a horrible person because you're here, Vi."

She scoffs, but doesn't step away from you. "I've done shitty things. Doesn't that make me a shitty person?" She speaks, low and vulnerable. Her voice is unusually small.

"I don't think you are." You say quietly. You can't help but smile at each other. Before you can even think, Vi's lips press against yours in a soft, hesitant but sweet kiss. You process what is happening and return the kiss. Your hands cup her jaw, fingers threading through her soft hair. She presses you against the shelf with a hand around your waist, but she doesn't press for more. Her lips move against yours affectionately for a few more seconds, lingering before she reluctantly pulls away.

This is what always gets you-that look in Vi's eyes, vulnerable and loving. You see it when she talks about things she loves, and you long for it when the prison weighs her down. Her thumb makes contact with your cheek and strokes the soft skin.

"You need to get back to your cell. It's almost lights out." You reluctantly say, still not pulling away. Neither of you can seem to seperate, wanting to prolong the moment. "Promise me you'll stay out of trouble?"

"If it means I can visit you again." She plants one last kiss on your lips before letting you go.

You truly feel sympathy for all of Stillwater's prisoners. You think of them and their situations. You think about their families back in the undercity. However, you think of Vi the most, in the dark of your room. You'll let yourself think of her until you drift asleep tonight, and imagine if she were with you, her hands keeping you cozy and tight in her embrace.

taglist: @witzs, @bewareofmyglock, @ruelezz (if the tag doesn't work it's because of your settings!)

[ariaste]

So I was nodding along almost the whole way through, I was saying "Yeah!" and "Oof, I feel that, I can relate," until I got to:

"be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial" and "you must insist upon her [...] because she may still not yet know how".

And... yeah, no, kinda lost me there. Now, don't get me wrong! It is perfectly valid if you're doing those things essentially as kink (or not-really-kink-but-kinda-uses-the-same-tools-and-skillset) -- that is, you and your beloved have sat down and talked about her discomfort and her difficulties, and the difference between actual discomfort and cognitive dissonance at the concept of having nice things for herself, and how SHE wants you to recognize the distinction (and what signals SHE can give to provide cues in cases of ambiguity), and she's given you express permission to do the Being Forceful thing in pursuit of doing nice things for her and insisting or persuading her into accepting them -- AND y'all have talked about how she can communicate effectively when your insistence and persuasion isn't just not landing right for some reason or when it's actually starting to cross a line. If you've done all that: great, godspeed, I love your love. Make her accept all the compliments and adoration and the nice things she deserves! Your crusade to love her properly is righteous and just!

However. The vast majority of us across the spectrum of transness have experienced people crossing our boundaries, infantilizing and condescending to us, assuming that they know better than us about what we want, and ignoring our quiet, hesitant attempts to push back in small ways as we try to establish a foothold and figure out how much space we're allowed to take up. So... idk, putting "be forceful" and "insist because she may not yet know how" right next to solid, sound advice for all situations like "be patient, be generous" as if they are equivalent in meaning and impact and importance just... rubs me the wrong way. I think OP is absolutely speaking coming from a place of love and positivity, but... this needs caveats.

Because man-oh-man I have personally experienced this kind of thing from both sides: Just because you know that something is going to be good for someone doesn't mean they're going to appreciate having it forced on them. Just because you're absolutely sure that someone will be delighted by something doesn't mean that you're always going to be right.

Suppose the nice thing that someone (let's call them Tye) is doing for their partner (let's call her Mia) is... taking her out to her favorite Italian restaurant. Suppose Tye does this every week without fail, and they feel great about it because Mia loves this restaurant and she deserves to be treated like a princess. But what happens if one week she's bored of it, or not in the mood for Italian food? What happens if she says, "Hey, maybe we don't have to go today... I don't really need all this, what if we just eat toast and eggs--" and Tye says, "NO NO. NO, I LOVE YOU AND WE'RE GOING! YOU DESERVE IT!!!" Y'know what I'm saying??? That's not actually about loving Mia anymore, that's more about Tye getting off on their own heroism. And Mia is once again having to shut up and make herself small.

If the goal is to love your person and give her space to grow confident enough to accept and embrace all the love and wonderful things she deserves, the strategy of forcefulness and insistence COULD actually end up being counter-intuitively DISempowering if it is not explicitly consensual: It is removing opportunities for her to practice communicating her own needs, choosing happiness, and valuing herself where other people can see. It is reinforcing the lesson she has already learned from the rest of society, which is that her self-knowledge and boundaries are inferior to the wants and goals of the people around her.

Having a partner who is so passionate about loving us that they INSIST on giving us the things we secretly long for even when we're scared and shy of accepting them ourselves (and that they always telepathically know exactly what is going to be the perfect thing even before we know it ourselves, and they never once make a mistake in reading our mood when we come home tired from work, and they're always able to seamlessly adjust their plans to accommodate our whim)... It is a lovely fantasy. I will not deny that it is a very lovely fantasy and that I too would like to go to there. That sounds FANTASTIC.

But at the end of the day you are loving an adult human being and "no means no" must remain true even if you think you perceive a glint of longing in her eye (unless modified rules of consent have been established and ratified between you prior to this). Absolutely be patient, be generous, be loving, be attentive and proactive. But also you also gotta be okay with backing the hell off sometimes. You gotta be humble enough to acknowledge that sometimes you might be projecting your own past self's longings, rather than looking at the person in front of you with clear eyes. Create a space where it's safe for her to come out of her protective shell instead of dragging her out of it before she's ready. Encourage her to set her own boundaries, and express appreciation when she does so, especially when the boundaries are ones you disagree with or are personally inconvenienced by.

You cannot force a person to move faster along their journey of loving themself. Having someone insist on giving you love (and I'm once again speaking from experience here, as someone who has been on both sides) can sometimes end up making the beloved feel more guilty, more self-conscious, and more aware of their own "failures" and "deficiencies". To the person trying to do that style of love, it probably IS purely in good faith, but to the person receiving it, it can sometimes come across as a constant implicit reminder of, "I'm not doing it right, I'm still not doing it right, and everyone can tell. No matter how hard I try I still can't do it right, I hate myself even more now."

OP absolutely hit the nail on the head with everything about, "I had to stop [negative self-thoughts], I had to start [taking care of myself], I had to learn [those skills], but more than that I had to learn to ask[...]. it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train." 100% cosigned. That is exactly it -- training muscles. You can be someone's spotter and cheerleader, but you can't lift the weights for them, and forcing them to lift more than they're ready for often hurts more than it helps. Communicate! Establish a culture of consent even outside the bedroom! And continue to be patient even when it turns out that progress is not a straight line without any stumbles!

so many of the transfems i know spent their time pre-transition performing a kind of lifelong exercise in self-deprivation, the goal of which was to find out exactly how little a person needed to live. they starved themselves, dressed carelessly, shunned friends, and hollowed themselves out so as not to be burdens on anyone but themselves.

i see it now, too, in the girls around me. i'll ask if they want care – a home-cooked meal, relaxed company, sex without the expectation of reciprocation – and they say no, no, thank you, i don't need it; what would you like, what do you want, because in their head they're still doing that awful calculus, still training themselves to disappear in the eyes of the people around them.

i don't think i'd have died without transition – not in the conventional sense, at least – but to take that leap, i had to stop thinking of myself as a human experiment in fuel-efficient living and start nurturing the anemic, atrophied flame of desire in my heart. i had to learn to eat well, to exercise, to style myself beautiful, but harder than that, i had to learn to ask the people around me to work on my behalf in order to enrich my life and give me the things i wanted.

and i did it; i learned. and it was agony, but courage is a muscle you can train, and every day i get better at accepting gifts with the hungry gratitude i never learned in my years and years as a sad, scared, lonely boy.

so be patient with the trans girls in your life. better than that: be proactive, attentive, generous; be forceful, if you have to, and learn to distinguish real discomfort from the terrified reflex of self-denial that so many of us once learned to rely on.

and if you are so lucky as to love a trans girl, you must insist upon her. you must insist upon her happiness, her comfort, her pleasure, and her rest, because she may still not yet know how to make those demands for herself. if you can devote any amount of energy to becoming an engine that nurtures the flame of even a single tgirl then there is a place for you in trans heaven, which as far as i'm concerned is the only one worth going to

[yanderedrabbles]

Yandere Seasons of the Year

Autumn is the nerdy girl in your book club. Pigtails, pleated skirts, too thick glasses. Whenever she's forced to speak up in class, she almost always stutters. Getting softer with each word until the teacher finally has mercy on her and let's her trail off. She has few friends, mostly other slightly dorky kids who band together because otherwise they'd all be stuck eating alone. You don't really notice her at first.

But then you read Jane Eyre and for once she isn't shy at all. She tells your whole book club all about the symbolism, the themes, how she doesn't fully consider it a gothic novel but that it definitely has gothic elements. Her cheeks are just a little flushed, her hands darting around when she talks. She's pretty, you realise slowly. When she isn't folded over herself or scurrying through the hall like she doesn't want to be caught.

Afterwards, you strike up a conversation with her. She's all shy again, not really meeting your eyes.

"My dad's got a whole collection of classics. Special edition prints, with these hand painted edges," you tell her. "Why don't you stop by and you can borrow some?"

She narrows her eyes at you like she thinks you're making fun of her. "Maybe. If I have time."

She doesn't drop by. When you see her in the halls after that, you always stop to greet her. But she looks so uncomfortable that you never get to have a conversation. Always running off with her head bent so far down that you wonder how she sees anything past the tips of her shoes.

After a few weeks of half finished sentences and always keeping her books clutched to her chest, you're about ready to give up. To take the hint that she doesn't want to be your friend.

But then... she starts seeking you out. Tentative at first. Waiting outside your class and only saying hello if you're alone. Changing her route so that it takes her past your locker. Sitting just a little closer to you at lunch, almost always two tables away so you're in her line of sight.

Maybe she realises you aren't setting up some elaborate prank by talking to her. Your hurried hellos become actual conversations. She starts walking you to class every morning. When you again invite her over to borrow some books, she actually shows up.

Standing on your doorstep with the trees flaring yellow and orange behind her, her hair pushed out of her face with a red Alice band.

"Hi."

You lead her up to your room and she perches on the edge of your bed like she's scared to touch it. Scared to be in your space.

You were in the middle of sorting through your makeup before she showed up and now you look over at her with a twinkle in your eye.

"Will you let me do your makeup? Please?"

Her eyes go all wide behind her glasses. "Uh I don't know...I don't really wear that stuff..."

You sit in front of her, your kit spread on your lap. "Come on! You'll look so good. You've got such a great bone structure, it's practically a crime to not try some bronzer."

"I guess..."

You carefully reach up and take off her glasses. She flinches. "Shh, relax. It doesn't hurt."

You tuck a strand of hair behind her ear and tilt her chin up with your finger. When you smooth primer over her skin, she subconsciously tilts her face into your palm.

"That feels nice..."

Her eye makeup is the trickiest part. She flinches every time you bring the eyeliner even close to her. Eventually, you slip your free hand around the nape of her neck. She freezes just long enough for you to add some wings. Her ears turn a bright red and she ducks away from you, stuttering.

"Ah sorry. Were my hands too cold?"

"N-no. No, your hands are...perfect."

You end up so close to her face that when she finally opens her eyes after mascara and lashes, she gasps. You run your thumb across her cheekbone to clear away a little spilled eye shadow.

"All done."

Even after you step away, it's takes her a few seconds to move.

"Do you like it?"

"I look so different."

You stand behind her in front of the mirror and rest your chin on her shoulder. "That's the magic of makeup! It's a good different. And besides, we're matching."

"Oh." She touches her fingers to her lips and looks down at the lipstick smeared on her fingertips. "I didn't notice. I...I really like it."

You pull away and grin at her. "Aren't you glad you let me do it?"

"Yeah," she says, still staring at her fingers. "Really glad."

When your lipstick and then your lip balm go missing, you don't even notice. What was it the kids used to say back in elementary? That if your lips touch where someone else's did, it counts as a kiss?

Autumn walks home through the falling leaves and wonders if you realise you're her first kiss.

Winter is the student council president. Confident, clever, a guy everyone says is going to be a great leader someday.

Oh, but he's cold too. Doesn't have any real friends, only achievements. Everyone knows him. Everyone respects him. But being respected and being liked are not at all the same thing.

You wonder if he ever gets lonely. You walk past the student council office during lunch one day and see him at his computer, a half eaten apple forgotten at his elbow. You shouldn't feel sorry for him. He's on the fast track to an ivy league and a career in finance. In a few years, he's going to be richer than you could ever hope to be. He takes home every performance award in every subject.

You shouldn't feel sorry for him. But you do.

"Hey, you got a minute?" You lightly rap on the doorframe and he turns to face you, not at all ruffled by your sudden appearance.

"Sure. You're y/n, right? I think we had algebra together a few years ago."

"Yep. Before you started taking AP classes and leaving all us peasants in the dust."

You're not surprised he knows you, despite never being introduced or even having a conversation before.

You grin at him. "Is an apple really the only lunch you're having? You've got to keep your energy up if you want to protect your title as smartest guy in school."

He frowns at his apple. The parts he's bitten are already starting to brown.

"I'm not that hungry."

You lean in the door frame and cross your arms. "I'm supposed to let our student present starve? If I let that happen, who's going to be around to defend our debate title? Stand up to the tyranny of the chess club?"

He scoffs and uses the tip of his pen to nudge the apple into the waste paper basket.

"Come eat lunch with me. I've been wanting to join some clubs and you can tell me what looks best on a college application. You can call it community service if you want," you offer.

That gets you a slightly raised brow. The most expressive you've seen him yet.

"What are they even offering today? I don't really stop at the cafeteria."

"Oh, you're in luck," you say. "Mashed potatoes and gravy. And it's only slightly congealed this time."

"Yum." Still, he stands up to follow you. He's much taller than you realised, and when he picks up his backpack his muscles flex in a way that tells you he isn't afraid of hitting the gym. Again, unsurprising. Except for his lunch, he seems the type to have his life in perfect balance.

When you finally sit down in the cafeteria, it isn't long before the other kids notice him. You're scarcely two bites into your lunch when the student magazine editor starts asking him about the budget for next semester. When that's settled, the chess team are next in line to complain about the state of their boards and to ask pretty please for some new pieces. It's only when the bell rings that they finally leave him alone. His lunch sits untouched in front of him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise."

He shrugs and shoots you a half smile. "Thanks anyway. This was...nice."

It's only when he's gone that you start to wonder if anyone else has ever seen him smile.

You start taking him lunch in the office a few days a week. Mostly sandwiches and chocolate milk. Not exactly the pinnacle of good eating, but anything is better than nothing, right?

You always end up on his desk, ankles crossed while he reclines in his computer chair, chin tilted up slightly to meet your eyes. It's casual, easy. He's funny, in a deadpan kind of way. You end up learning a ton about college admissions, about extra credit, about Ivy League rankings.

When applications open, he's the first person you go to when you need help. Eventually, he just sighs and plucks your half finished essay from your backpack.

"Just let me handle it, jeez."

"Really? Oh my god, thank you!" You stand on your toes and pull him into a hug. "You have no idea how stressed I've been."

He freezes. And then slowly wraps his arms around your waist.

" 'Course," he mutters into the crown of your head. "I'd be happy to."

The thing about Winter as a season is that it can be so insidiously misleading. You assume the greatest danger is the ice, the cold. You don't realise that most deaths are from broken gas lines, from excess alcohol, from persistent coughs. You prepare yourself for all the wrong dangers.

You assume that if Winter wants something, he'll pursue it outright. You don't notice that your college applications are only being sent to places he's applied to as well. You don't notice the way he sneaks your name into the records for the debate team, the chess club, volunteering hours - a blatant forgery just so you have a better chance of being accepted at the institutions where he wants you.

You don't notice the way he always comes up to you when other guys are talking to you, dragging you away with a tight smile and an excuse about scheduling issues or needing your help with the budget.

You don't notice him falling for you until it's far, far too late.

Spring is the ultra cool, earthy girl in your art class. Always sporting a full afro or long goddess braids. Effortlessly chic, with gold jewellery in her hair no matter how busy school seems to get.

She moves through everything at her own pace. Not part of a clique but never alone either.

You've always known each other a little. Had a few classes together over the years, shared lunch once or twice. But life is hectic and your paths don't always cross as much as you'd like. So when you end up in art class hoping for extra credits, you're more than a little glad to see her.

She's talented. Her portfolio has art schools all across the country drooling, practically on their knees to offer her a full ride.

It would be easy to get jealous, and you have no doubt that more than a few of your classmates are. But you? You're just glad to see talent being appreciated.

It's a beautiful spring day when she comes up behind you and offers to give you some private lessons. Your hands are covered in charcoal, there's streaks of black on your cheeks and despite your efforts, your canvas is an unartistic mess.

You smile at her like she's heaven sent.

"Would you really? I know art is subjective and all, but I'm afraid everyone thinks I'm objectively bad."

She tilts your head at your canvas, beads in her braids clinking.

"Not as bad you think. I can see what you're trying to do. You just don't have enough technique yet."

When you meet her after school, the classroom is gold and hazy with the late afternoon sun. She makes you sit at her easel and leans on the back of your chair.

"Draw some perspective lines for me."

You try to, but by the third line her hands are already coming up to guide yours.

"No. Always try and stick to your vanishing point. Like this."

Her voice is low in your ear and you can smell her perfume, something sweet and flowery that makes you want to bury your face in her hair.

"See?"

"Mm-hmm. Easier when it's so direct."

"Good."

She stays right by your chair for the rest of the lesson, occasionally leaning down to adjust your grip. When the day is done, your hair smells like her perfume and your fingers ache from work well done.

She doesn't seem like the type to have a boyfriend. Maybe you're being unfair, but you just can't see it. She's so nonchalant, so very much herself, that the antics of teenage boys seem so very beneath her. She must like someone though, because a few weeks after she starts tutoring you, you get a glimpse of her latest piece. A sketch of her leaning down to kiss someone, their face obscured by the fall of her hair.

If it were anyone else, you would tease them relentlessly about it. Who do you got a crush on so bad that you want to draw them?

Not her though. You respect her art too much to make light of it like that. And when her portfolio starts filling up with love poems, with tributes, with re-interpretations of Le Printemps and Le Sommeil... Well, you pretend not to notice.

It's only at the very end of the year that you start to really wonder who it's all about. When you finish your final piece - the best canvas to date, the one you and her poured hours of work into - she leans down and presses her lips against your signature. It leaves behind a lipstick print in a deep, gorgeous red. Somehow brings the whole piece together.

"I love it," you tell her, eyes on your art.

"So do I," she says, eyes on you.

Summer is the tanned, laughing jock who's always filling up the hall with his voice. Friendly, likeable. Just about everyone has a crush on him.

Not a bully, though he has the size and strength for it. Helpful, in his big, well meaning way.

His future is clear for everyone to see. Working in his dad's construction company until its time to take over, marrying a girl just as pretty and golden as him, becoming the kind of father that other kids look at and long for. It's a good life. It suits him. Days filled with sunshine and love and laughter. He deserves it.

So when he asks you to tutor him, you assume he doesn't want anything more than a better grade. Books and calculators spread out on the bleachers after practice, the smell of fresh cut grass in the air, summer sun warm and gold over the football field. If you were more his type, you'd call it romantic.

As it is, you just appreciate the good weather and the good company. When his teammates joke that he's tanking his grades on purpose just to spend time with you, you laugh and say you're sure he's got better things to do with his time that that.

It takes a few months, but his grades do improve. And when you go through the homework together, it's clear that he understands what he's doing.

"Well champ, seems my work here is done. You're ahead of the class, you understand the methods and your papers have all come back with Bs and above."

You shrug, smile at him. "You're free to go. Have your afternoons back."

"What?" He frowns at you, water bottle halfway to his mouth. "No. The year isn't over yet."

You laugh, a little flattered that he seems so upset to see you go. "I know. But you don't need me anymore. Just practice the problems I marked out for you and you'll be just fine."

For once, he seems at a loss for words. You stand, sling your backpack over your shoulder. It's just you and him left on the bleachers, the empty football field a behemoth between you and the school building.

When you're halfway across, he catches up with you. Grabs your backpack and stops you in your tracks.

"What about English? I really need some help with the novel. And my chemistry is a mess. Seriously, we can't stop now. You can't just...leave me like that."

If you didn't know any better, you'd say he sounded almost panicked.

"I think Jackson from homeroom is your best bet with chemistry. Oh, and I'll send you my English notes. I did a whole section on themes and stuff."

He frowns again. "No. No. I don't want any of that. I want you."

The skin at the nape of your neck prickles, despite the late afternoon sun being full on your back. Was he always so much bigger than you? How didn't you notice it before?

"Hey, listen. I know you're worried. But we've put in tons of effort. You know your stuff. When exam season rolls around, you'll be just fine."

You try and walk away but he's still holding onto your bag.

"I can pay you."

"I don't want money," you say, irritated and offended both. "I never wanted to be paid for any of this. You're a great guy. I'm happy to help you out."

"Then stay."

Why is he being so persistent? His hold on your backpack tightens when you don't immediately answer.

"Please."

That decides you. How can you say no when a nice guy is practically begging? You're not a monster.

You sigh. "Fine. But only until after homecoming, 'kay?"

"Sure," he says. "I'll let you go when I'm done. Promise."

In the last light of a long summer day, you make the mistake of believing him. 

[archangeldyke-all]

Sevika is the pe teacher and reader is the English teacher and reader is sweet to all the students and everyone loves her but sevika is more on the strict side, doesn’t actually matter what’s the plot i just need teacher!sevika x teacher!reader😭🙏

HELL YES

men and minors dni

"jinx, the bell rang five minutes ago, kiddo. what class are you supposed to be in?" you ask as you walk into your classroom, blowing on your fresh cup of coffee.

this is your planning period, and you never mind having a student or two visit you, but you know jinx better than to assume she's here on her study-hall and not skipping class.

"please don't make me go, teach."

"dr. singed's chemistry class?" you guess. he's notorious for his harsh grading rubric.

jinx shakes her head. "no, no, i've got an a in chem." she huffs. "it's gym class."

you laugh. "you don't like gym? i've seen you run down the halls, you're quick as hell. figured you'd love that stuff."

"fuck no. sevika's a monster! she's making us climb ropes and do pushups-- i can barely carry my backpack to school, what makes her think i can do a fuckin' pullup!?" jinx laments.

you have to bite your cheek to keep from laughing. you gesture to the little corner of bean bags, blankets, and books in your class, then pull open your desk drawer. "you can stay. but if principal merdarda or sevika comes in here i'm tellin' her you told me it's your study hall."

"you'd rat me out?!" jinx cries. you grab one of the many bags of chips you store in your bottom drawer and toss it to her where she's getting cozy in the beanbag. she grins. "flamers, fuck yeah!"

"in exchange for my hospitality... you need to tell me why i saw your sister fighting with a cop at the gay bar last weekend." you request.

jinx gasps, her eyes lighting up in delight at a chance to gossip about vi-- a girl you taught a few years ago.

"you party at the hound?!" jinx asks with a giggle. you shrug.

"is that so shocking?"

"you're badass underneath that cardigan, huh, teach?" jinx teases. she stands from the corner and drags her beanbag across the classroom, situating herself in front of your desk and digging into her flamers. "okay, so, a year ago vi got arrested at a protest, right?" jinx starts.

you nod along in amusement at jinx's story, dividing your attention between her and the essays you're grading.

zaun high is small enough that you get to really know the kids that roam the halls for four years, and jinx comes from a big family with a gaggle of kids you've only ever adored. it's good to hear that her brothers are doing well, that vi's figuring herself out.

you blink up at jinx when she takes a pause between stories, snacking on her food. "so i hear you've made things official with ekko."

jinx turns bright red and she squeaks as she hides behind her braids. "shut up!"

"had to lock him down before he gets elected class president, huh?" you tease. jinx squawks.

"okay, well, what about a rumor i heard that you're dating another teacher here!" jinx accuses, pointing at you.

you giggle and shrug. "mmm... maybe... but you'll never guess which." you say.

jinx scoffs and rolls her eyes. "oh please, it's so obvious. you and profe ran are always giggling together." she says.

you laugh. ran, the spanish teacher, is a childhood friend of yours, but they're certainly not the person you're dating. "sure, it's ran."

jinx frowns and squints at you. "the new college councilor?" she guesses.

"ms. grayson?" you ask. jinx nods. you laugh again. "that's hilarious. isn't she married?"

jinx huffs. "well, i dunno! are you even dating anyone?"

the door slams open and you both jump, turning to look at sevika.

fuck. she looks good. you're pretty sure she's been wearing her shortest possible shorts just to tease you. she's been using the increasingly warm weather as her excuse.

"jinx! the fuck are you doing?" she glares at the teenager.

jinx jumps out of her beanbag and scrambles to collect her belongings. you giggle.

"put the beanbag back before you go."

"fuck." jinx mumbles, scrambling some more.

sevika turns her glare from her missing student to you, striding up to your desk. you bite your lip as you watch her thighs ripple with each step. "you're harboring fugitive students now?"

"she told me it was her study hall." you lie.

jinx groans. "you rat!"

sevika huffs and glares down at you. you shrug and blink up at her innocently. with a quick glance at jinx where she's stuffing her face with the rest of her chips over the garbage can, you hold up a folder to block your mouth and whisper up at your girlfriend. "my place tonight?"

sevika's glare melts for just a moment, and she gives you a half nod and a wink before tunring on her heel and smacking the chips out of jinx's hand. "c'mon, before i give you detention." she huffs, dragging jinx out of your class by her backpack.

"see you in third period, jinx!" you call. jinx giggles and waves to you. sevika flips you off over her shoulder.

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taglist!

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[wonweige]

I want to see more of the princess's life on being a reminder of someone everyone lost! Maybe she acts like them unknowingly and Mydei is getting more overprotective cause of it!

❝ 185139144 ❞ ✶ but I see her in the back of my mind all the time ! ; not proofread — ignore typos </3 ++ reader (gn!) referred to as ‘you + parent + beloved’ (reader is NOT the little princess)

low-key feel like i didn't do this req justice erm </3 if you want me to redo this just tell me and i will !!

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who can feel the watchful eyes of guards no matter where she goes. her small hand clings to the skirt of her governess/nanny as they walk through the market, her expression not showing how she was slightly unsettled and also exasperated. seriously, did she really need guards watching over her 24/7 from the shadows? it was bad enough her uncle phainon constantly popped up out of nowhere and- oh, there he is now.

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who deadpans comically as her father enters her room for the umpteenth time that day, checking up on her and making sure she was safe and unharmed. she hadn't even left her room for half of the day, simply playing with the many toys her father had gifted her with, and here MYDEI was, fussing over her like she had been battling nikador himself.

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who finds herself staring at the painting of her parent more and more, finding the resemblance between her and them a bit... uncanny. down to the even the smallest curve of the face. she really was a carbon copy of them.

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who has been sleeping next to her dad for a while now.. she thinks he's been having nightmares, but she can't really be sure because her father isn't the type of guy to want company while he sleeps just because he's been having nightmares. still, every night, he either goes to her room or she goes to his and he holds her in his strong arms like she'd vanish if he let go.

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who likes watching her father train and spar with others. she'll sit to the side, her uncle phainon next to her in case anything went wrong, and cheer on her father with a dazzling smile on her features, confident he'll win because he's the crowned prince and her super strong dad who could take on the entire galaxy if he wanted to!

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who does not know how MYDEI's heart feels heavy as he hears her cheer him on from the sides, her words the exact same as his late beloved's. it's almost enough to make him lose his focus.

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who adores the same food as you. it even has to be prepared the exact same way or else she won't even spare it a single glance. much to her delight, it seems that everyone she asks knows how to make it exactly to her liking, telling her that they've made it a million times before. she does her best to ignore how the people that prepared the dish look at her with looks of nostalgia.

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who notices how her outings with her governess/nanny grow less frequent and her outings with her father grow more frequent. not that she's complaining! she loves spending time with her father, especially because he can never say no to her and spoils her rotten even if it's unintentional. she doesn't like how she can't run off, though.. her father always holds her hand or carries her when they're out.

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who gives an unamused look to her father as he squints with disapproval whenever a boy talks to her. "daddy, he was just asking me where the nearest bathroom was." "he should've asked someone else." "..."

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who is adored by the people. who wouldn't love her? sure, she may be a bit bossy at times, but she always wants the best for those around her. such a smart little girl.

── .✦ THE LITTLE PRINCESS, who can't help but giggle as her father leaves their daddy-daughter tea party, pretty [color] bows in his hair, to attend a meeting. nobody would dare say a thing to MYDEI, however, because who would dare question the crowned prince? (phainon did not let it go, however.)

[satinprose]

letting pervy!loser!ellie touch you for the first time… inspired by this post. mdni. cw  ;  inexperienced!ellie,  loser!ellie,  perv!ellie  adjacent.  tit  play.  thigh  riding. for some reason, this is longer than i intended.

subtlety was never ellie's best natural ability. no, really, it's not. walking into poles on the footpath, laughing too loud when she shouldn't—especially if it was something you said—and well, it's mainly you that voids her of subtlety. ellie isn't the wisest, and when she's crushing hard, her brain dissolves into fucking mush.

ellie's never felt so... nasty. when it comes to you, she has the most utterly insane thoughts imaginable. she's even thought about trying to steal a pair of panties out of your laundry hamper, but knew she couldn't pull it off clean enough.

when she sees something she likes, ellie can't help it. can you blame her? you had to know what you were doing to her, surely... that tank top looks like a second skin on your body, it's obvious you aren't wearing a bra either. the outlines of your nipples are prominent, the low neck of the tank revealing a fucking heavenly amount of cleavage. considering ellie's only had her imagination to go off—and she's been imagining what your body looks like naked—this is the closest she's ever got.

of course, what ellie wants to do right now is take a picture and let this last forever. but what she wants to do even more, is pin you down against the couch and take a proper look for herself. ha, as if.

this poor baby. she's been staring for so long, thinking you won't notice. of course you noticed! she's working herself up so much, shifting and squirming in her seat, trying to subtly press her hand between her thighs, and her eyes dart from the tv to your tits over and over.

it's a little tricky to decide how to act in response. she's your friend, and she just looks so worked up that you can't help feeling a little bad, almost like you owe her some for being the cause of her current issue. and she's vehemently reassured you that she's totally fine, just a little hot every time you've asked if she's alright.

"els?"

this time, when ellie looks over at you, prepared to force herself to make eye contact only, she unfortunately fails immediately. because you're holding your top up.

her face feels on fire, red filling her cheeks. she gasps upon initial reaction, but she still doesn't flinch or look away. she's practically stuck. that doesn't stop her from stammering a concerned question, though.

"how— why— would you do this?"

"oh." you tilt your head, drawing your lip between your teeth. the lip biting, your doe eyes, and your current state of indecency, it has ellie fucked over. "i just, i guess i noticed you were staring n' i felt like i owed you a look!"

"ohh." no, ellie doesn't understand you at all right now, but that doesn't make her ungrateful. she's trying not to act on pussy-whipped sentiments, but it's extremely hard. and what does she say in response? "you got.. niiiice boobs."

"thank you."

"can i..." ellie trails off, wiping her sweaty hands over her jean-clad thighs. "can i touch?"

her voice broke saying that, and she feels ridiculous. but you? you've never had a girl be genuinely nervous to touch you before.

"of course you can," you murmur, feeling warmth spread into both your face and panties. "i want you to."

"okay." you don't think you've ever heard ellie sound like this before. but she's reeling. you want her to do this. "i've never touched.. a girl before, never touched any boobs before, sorry."

"oh, reaaally?" you ask, giggling. somehow that only made your panties dampen more. "it's okay! just c'monn..."

"yeah, okay." ellie nods as if to psyche herself up, and then she moves closer to you. she makes sure, one more time, that her hands aren't clammy, before cupping your breasts.

she takes pretty firm handfuls, and her hands are shaky but so warm. ellie herself has to bite back a whimper, feeling your plushness in her palms. your skin is soft as silk. she's slow with it at first, massaging the supple flesh with slender fingers. the longer it goes on for, the more she discovers she really, really loves it.

ellie starts squeezing. she's hit gold when she brushes her thumbs over your nipples, because your entire body shivers. she lets out a shaky laugh before rolling the hardened buds beneath her callouses, watching you start to breathe a bit heavier. she experiments; pulling, tugging, pinching. she's squeezing your tits so roughly, pulling on your nipples a little too hard and yet when she does so, it makes you moan.

prettiest sound on earth. need to hear that more. ellie wants to hear that in her freaking dreams at night.

this feels like a dream altogether.

ellie doesn't really have any concept of gentle versus rough. she's plainly new to this and just a little over-excited. especially when you start to whimper. she's gone when she notices you start to rock your hips against the air, and she licks her dry lips.

"h-hey, come.. sit.. on my lap if you want..."

when you do, and ellie feels your thighs squeeze around her own, she feels her breathing speed up. she has her crush perched on her lap, grinding against her leg, and she's playing with your tits.

you drag your clothed cunt over ellie's thigh, back and forth. to hold yourself up you grab her by the shoulders and hold your top up between your teeth so ellie doesn't have to worry about a thing. you only want her to have the most perfect time manhandling your tits, so you'll be good and make sure your body is completely readily accessible to her.

"ellie, ellie!"

said girl is completely winded. she's wide-eyed, looking up at you like you aren't even real. you're squeaking out her name so sweetly, she's starting to think she won't make it. all this blood is rushing downwards and she can feel her pussy throbbing against her boxers. it feels like she's going to pass out.

"w-what's wrong?"

"nothingggggg, just keep doing that, s'feels sooo nice."

"oh! okay." honestly, ellie was also not so confident in her abilities. so to know that she is, somehow, making you feel actual pleasure? she's ecstatic. can't stop grinning so dumbly, bouncing her knee to stimulate you further.

and the way that your tits bounce right in front of her face? it's just so erotic. ellie relishes in the sounds of your weak whining, the fact that you're starting to sweat a little, and panting like a puppy.

"you're so fuckin' cute," ellie rasps, looking up at you. "you're doing so, so good."

now, ellie is no expert, her only 'training' is just the copious amounts of porn she's watched (and pretended was you and her). but she can tell you're getting close.

she also thought she'd be a little more suave with her words. she's trying so hard, yet for some reason no good dirty talk can make its way out. it's just getting stuck, as if she's really afraid to say it.

your orgasm builds up so fast. you hadn't even intended for it, but it hit you like a freight train. so hard and fast that when you cum, you pull ellie close and effectively suffocate her against your chest (by accident, of course), squeezing her tight whilst high moans and shrill gasps leave your mouth.

you slowly come down from the high, now panting into ellie's ear.

finally, she feels brave enough to speak up. that doesn't stop her voice from cracking, however, her shock evident. bless her.

"th–that's a good girl."

[englishisaboutconfidence]

Ignorance is Blisss... until it isn't

You were fucked, well and truly fucked. You had long accepted the fact that you were in love with someone you could and would never have.

Let's take a step back. Who were you? You were nothing special truly. Just a normal 19 year old nerdy college student who after hours of class would five stack league of legends, take 2am trips to taco bell with his friends, and spend hours just being an a dumb college student.

So why were you fucked? Well that was due to one very prominent transfer student, one Jang Wonyoung. Wonyoung is one of few people who actually mattered at the college. She was perfect in the eyes of the public. She had everything: riches, talent, personality, and cultural prominence… and you were in love with her. I mean who wouldn't be. But like all things in your life, you played it safe. She was everything you weren't and you had long accepted that you would never be with her.

Out of seemingly nowhere, you friends Jungwon and Heeseung sat down at your table and shook you out our inner thoughts. Jungwon started talking to you "Y/N do you want to get boba with us after your 1:15pm class?". You thought about it for a second since you had been

eating out a lot; but of course, fuck it. "You know I'm always down for boba". Out of your peripheral vision, you can see that your friend Sunghoon was walking through the university cafeteria with the queen of the school, Wonyoung. Once he got to your table, he bade Wonyoung goodbye and sat down. Jungwon and Heeseung were stunned and were staring at Sunghoon.

Jungwon started excitedly talking to Sunghoon "Dude, how do you know Wonyoung?!" Sunghoon softly answered him "… we just have a class together and sat next to each other. We were forced to talk due to a class icebreaker and she just kept talking to me throughout the class. Then when I started to leave she asked me if I was going to the cafeteria and if I wanted to walk with her.".

You just sat there quietly listening to Sunghoon tell his story and you took it all in. Of course Wonyoung took a liking to him. He was a great guy and you were happy to call him a friend. If it wasn't going to be you, you were happy it was going to be him. What you didn't notice was that Heeseung was watching you take it all in. He was always the most observant of the bunch (though both yourself and Sunghoon liked to think that either of you were). He easily picked up on the fact that you were hiding your true feelings about the situation. But he also noticed you occasionally glancing towards the table being graced by the presence of Wonyoung and her closest friends: Yujin, Gaeul, Liz, Rei, and Leeseo aka IVE. And of course, he noticed you mentally kicking yourself when you caught yourself glancing in her direction.

Jungwon was so hyped about about Wonyoung potentially being into Sunghoon that he offered to pay for Hoonie's boba. Once you all had finished your meals, you left the cafeteria and started walking to the your favorite boba place near the university.

What your friends didn't notice was that the second you all got up to leave, Wonyoung and her friends got up as well and started subtly following you and your friends.

30 seconds after your group walked into the boba shop, so did IVE. Jungwon was the first one to notice who actually walked in and when he did, he started "quietly" nudging Sunghoon to start a conversation with Wonyoung. Leeseo being the well willing maknae told Wonyoung "Unnie, isn't that the guy you were talking with when you were walking through the cafeteria, Sunghoon right?" Gaeul nicely scolded her "Leeseo, try to be a little bit quieter next time. We are in public and he's right there." "Sorry Unnies".

Wonyoung, being the IT girl that she was, walked up to your group and introduced herself and the rest of the girls. "Sorry about Leeseo, she isn't always the most subtle when she is excited. I am Wonyoung and these are my friends Yujin, Gaeul, Liz, Rei, and again Leeseo. We are all sophmores except for Leeseo who is a freshman." Jungwon being the self appointed and reinforced through the introverted natures of yourself, Heeseung, and Sunghoon introduced your group: "It's nice to officially meet IVE, although we of course already know who you all are. I am Jungwon, this is Heeseung, Sunghoon who you already know I believe Wonyoung, and the one trying to hide himself by staring at the menu even though we all know what his order is, Y/N. We are all sophomores too." "It's nice to see you again Sunghoon and to meet you Jungwon and Heeseung."

She took a second and stared at you until you couldn't pretend that you were in your own little world anymore. He turned around and saw everyone looking at you; but naturally one person stood out to you. The one who was staring daggers at you (which none of your friends picked up on but her best friend Yujin did). "Hi, I'm Y/N it's nice to meet you all." "Are you serious!" Wonyoung annoyedly spat out. "Really?! That's is how you want to play it" "I am not playing anything, I just trying to defer to you" you replied. Wonyoung was about to give you an annoyed response when Yujin intervened "yah, can you two stop it. It has been 2 seconds and you are already reverting back to your highschool selves".

Everyone not named Wonyoung, Yujin, and yourself looked at you three with wide eyed. Jungwon was the first to snap out of his stupor and smacked you in the shoulder. "Why didn't you tell us that you went to highschool with THE Jang Wonyoung and THE Ahn Yujin?" "IDK I just didn't feel like there was much reason to tell" you told them and you saw each of one them accept it except for Wonyoung, Yujin, and Heeseung; but none of those four pushed it any further.

The 10 of you quickly started chatting while finally ordering your boba. The two groups started meshing well instantly and decided to all sit down and keep the good times going. The conversation was flowing with most of the group contributing off and on; while you were just sitting there taking it all in (while also being inwardly terrified that someone as going to remember that you, Wonyoung, and Yujin all went to highschool together. Unlucky for you, Rei remembered and asked you three "So what's the backstory between you three? Obviously, we know that Yujinie and Wony have been besties since middle school; but what about you W/N?". Yujin, your natural protector, spoke up for you "I met Y/N at the same time i met Wony. Although… our dear Wonyoung and Y/N go back further." "Daebak, really! Y/N why are you holding out on us so much!" Jungwon asked in amazement and a but also annoyance.

With all eyes on you, you took a quick glance at the source of your predicament, Wonyoung and saw the annoyance and anger bubbling under the surface if you don't answer them correctly. "Well, uh, I have known Wonyoung for a umm considerate amount of time I guess well since like kindergarten. She and her family started going to the same church as my parents when we were 5 and actually were in the same small group, so Wonyoung and I would often play together. When and I started kindergarten, she started going to an expensive, exclusive private school and I started going to a charter school. After we finished kindgergarten, her parents actually offered to pay my tuition so I could go to the same school as Wonyoung. My parents tried to refuse but they kept pushing because well they liked me and thought that it would be good for the two of us would be good to spend as much time as possible together." You quickly glanced at Wonyoung to see if you were saying anything that would piss her off more and she gave you a nod to keep going. "My parents eventually accepted and well Wonyoung and I started going to school together starting in the first grade and that continued through middle school when we met Yujin and through highschool as well. When we started to apply to colleges, I didn't really know where I wanted to go; but my parents liked it here and I know a lot of alumni at my church, so I just decided this is it. Wonyoung, she applied to like 20 schools and got into all of them. She decided to go to "XXXX" and I guess it wasn't a good fit and so she decided to transfer and now she's here. We should be caught up to the present now".

"So you were friends?" Sunghoon asked. "Yes and No" Wonyoung replied. "We were friends and are friends; but Y/N likes to act like we never knew each other or if people find out that we know each other then Y/N likes to act like we were just school mates when we and our families are way closer than he likes to make it out to seem."

Yujin knowing another fight was going to come (although no one else knew either of you or your history well enough to know that) stepped in once again "Y/N and Wony aren't like your typical friends. The friendliness part of their friendship comes and goes; but they know each other better than anyone else I know. They aren't in sync per say; but they know how the other thinks, feels, and will react and that's going to be all I say on their relationship (purposely saying relationship while glancing at both you and Wonyoung in a way that only you two picked up on it (and Heeseung as well being the most observant of the bunch)). Since it looks like we are all getting along so well, why don't we do this again? Why doesn't everyone come to my house tonight at 9pm to have a little get together?" Everyone quickly agreed.

During Yujin's little speech, you and Wonyoung met each other's eyes and you quickly understood that she wanted you to meet her before the party.

Everyone said their goodbyes and went off for their afternoon activities. After your 1:15pm class, you checked your phone and saw a text from Wony (after the whole exposure of your history, she was mentally back to Wony to you even though it was also pretty safe to say that she is, was, and will always be Wony no matter how hard you try) "The apartment, 6pm."

When you got back to your dorm you saw Heeseung laying on his bed reading a book. When you put down your bag at your desk, you saw him sit up and put down his book. "How long have you been in love with Wonyoung and when are you going to tell Sunghoon? We both know that Wonyoung has already taken a good portion of Hoonies thoughts and his heart."

Once you shook off the surprise of the his question and of it's accuracy and depth, you decided to answer his truthfully because you also know that he will see all through any bull shit answer. "Honestly, I don't know. I think maybe always, but I think I first realized it after she starting talking about her first crush our 8th grade year. She was talking to Yujin about him and I was passing by to go to lunch when she grabbed me and asked me what I knew about him. She then started to include me more often when she talked about her crush and I just started to feel bad. it took me a few weeks to understand why and then I realized it. I was jealous. Jealous that so much of her time and thoughts were about something else, someone else, another guy. It was a sobering feeling. Realizing you liked someone who you knew everything about but also someone who you would never be with because she was everything and everyone loved her and you were just you. I accepted that we would always just be us and I moved on with my life as an 8th grader. Later on, during our sophomore year, when she had her first boyfriend and was telling Yujin and I about how great he was and how happy she was. I realized that I couldn't just keep pretending that I didn't like her. Then she told us that they kissed. I quickly left with some flimsly excuse about forgetting an assignment and on my way home, I realized that I didn't just like her. I loved her. That I wanted to be apart of all her firsts and that I couldn't just keep pretending that everyone was okay and I was happy to be just friends with Wonyoung. Later that night, Yujin called me and of course knew why I left. I told her how I felt. Wonyoung would date her first boyfriend for a few weeks before breaking up with him. I have no clue why since she was so excited to be with him in the first place.

Anyways, a couple years passed and suddenly I was applying to colleges. While Wonyoung and I had stopped talking and hanging out at school, my friendship with Yujin had actually gotten closer. She and I were never going to be as close as me and Wonyoung, but the I still treasured her friendship greatly. We would talk about school, our individual friend groups, and college applications. I applied to a few schools. Some in Seoul and a few in the US. Yujin mostly the same with the exception of a few schools in Europe as well. While I didn't actively ask, Yujin knew me well enough to give the occasional update on Wonyoung (and the schools she applied to). Anyway, I decided to go to XXXX and happily Yujin decided to go as well while Wonyoung decided to go to ZZZZ in Seoul as well.

Yujin and I texted and even hung out a few times during our Freshman year; but we mostly kept our friendship private until now of course. Wonyoung, well, from what I have heard from Yujin and her parents, did fine during her Freshman year, but decided that it wasn't for her and after hearing how great XXXX was from Yujin, decided to transfer in. And that should bring us to the present."

Heeseunng looked at you with an unimpressed and unamused face.

"I might have left some more details out… while Wony and I stopped hanging out at school, our families were still very close and went to the same church, so naturally we still saw each other from time to time. Okay, well not from time to time exactly, due to church small group, and our families standing weekly dinner, we saw each other at least 3 times a week outside of school. Wony would often complain to me about her relationship woes. How guys were superficial and how unreliable they were and I would sit there, listen, and give her counsel even though it broke me each time. She would enter and exit relationships based off her whims and never was in one for longer than a month. Our parents were ecstatic to see that our friendship was thriving even more than when we were kids even, her parents especially. They were saddened to hear that Yujin and Wony were going to different colleges and even sadder when I told them that I was going to the same college as Yujin and not Wonyoung. Her parents wanted to make sure that Wonyoung and I stayed well connected even when going to seperate colleges so they actually decided to buy an apartment that we could escape to on the weekends or just in general if college ever got too much and for post grad as well. Oh and of course because it's her parents and she is Wonyoung, it is in one of the tallest and most exclusive buildings in Seoul. Some weekends I would go hangout there or if I just wanted to relax by myself our freshman year I would go there too. Wonyoung and I never really coordinated meeting there , unfortunately for her parents, but there were a quite a few times throughout the year where we saw each other at the apartment. . . I also was just 'ordered' to meet her there at 6 before the party".

Heeseung took a beat before finally replying "You need to tell her how you feel. I think it will help both of you. It also will help to alleviate any issues that fallout from Sunghoon's admiration of Wonyoung and her seeming likened interest in him."

"Yeah, I probably should; but that also means opening up myself to getting hurt. Where I am at now sucks; but doing that could also make it suck a lot more. I don't know, I should but just I don't know; but I get it."

Heeseung accepted that you would think about it and not just for yourself but also Sunghoon. 6 o'clock rolled around and you made your way to the apartment that you technically co-owned with Wonyoung thanks to her parents of course. For some reason, it felt weird to you to just enter in so you decided to ring the doorbell. Seconds later, you see the door open to an annoyed Wonyoung wearing a tank top that revealed her midriff and a pair of black leggings. "Are you serious Y/N! You know the code and you fucking own this place. Why are you ringing the doorbell? You know what, I don't want to know because I already do know 'Oh I just wanted to be considerate. I thought it might be weird to just come in' Ugh, you are so annoying". Great, you thought, I haven't even said a word and she's already freaking out. "Yes I am annoyed and Yes I know it hasn't even been 30 seconds. Just come in already" She turned around and started walking through the entrance and towards the living room. You couldn't help but stare at the her ass especially with all the extra help her leggings gave her (although you knew she didn't need it). Before you could catch yourself, she turned around and saw exactly where your eyes were looking. When you looked up, you just saw her smirking at you. You mentally cursed yourself, she's going to hold this over you for eternity. Just like every other time she has caught you checking her out. You swear it didn't happen that often; but you also knew you were lying out of your ass. You couldn't help it. Not only was she hot, you were also in love with her as a person as well. Of course you liked to think that she didn't catch you checking her out a most of the time; but you also knew that was a lie as well. It was like she had a sixth sense when it came to catching you in the worst times. It felt like she just knew you were staring at her tits or her ass or her thighs or her abs… okay maybe you checked her out a little too much and it was a lot easier to catch you than you liked to admit; but you at least were kind of sneaky about it.

You walked around the corner into the living room and were welcomed by the sight of her ass once again. She was in the middle of downward facing dog with her ass facing you and you could swear you could see bottom of her tits under the flimsy excuse of a tank top. While you were entranced by her ass and bottoms of her tits, you hear her clear her throat. That shook you out of your stupor and when you came to your senses, you saw that below those glorious tits of hers, you saw her staring at you with the cockiest smirk you had ever seen. You thought about running and never looking back; but sadly, you knew that would never work. One call to your parents by Wonyoung and you would be chastised and would be forced back to her or would need to face the consequences of disappointing your parents. Or she would threaten to call her parents and would be even sadder to disappoint them. Or lastly, she could just use one of the various private investigators that her family employed to track you down then use one of the family's bodyguards to drag you back to her.

"Eyes up her pervert. It's been a minute and you have already stared at my ass and at my tits. What's next?" "Whatever" you angrily muttered. "Oh don't you get an attitude with my mister. First you pretend I don't exist then you pretend that we haven't been best friends since forever and then you blatantly stare at me like I am just some random whore you see on your Instagram. Oh no buddy, you are in the fucking dog house and you will need to beg to get out of it or I swear to god there will be hell to pay. Okay?" "Fine, whatever, my bad" "Nope, not good enough" Wonyoung angrily replied. "Okay, I'm sorry I tried to sweep our friendship under the rug and that I checked you out. What else do you want me to do Wony?" "First, you are going to tell our friends the truth about us. That we are best friends, that I make your life infinitely better, and that you can't imagine a world without me. Second, you are spending the weekend here pampering me. And third, you are going to my unnie's wedding as my plus one." "Okay the first 2 seem reasonable; but the third one confuses me Wony. I am already invited and going to your noona's wedding." "I know that dumbasss; but as my plus one, every whore there will know who you belong to and that not only are you taken but taken by me and that I can destroy all of their lives" You scoff at her response but you don't push it any further.

"I'm going to shower before the party, can you order us some sushi? Just use the card my parents gave you". You open your phone to start the order. When lift up your head to ask Wongyoung if she wants her usual, all you see is her naked back walking into her room. You decide just to go with your gut and get her usual. You hear her shower start so you decide to watch some youtube on the tv. You were too absorbed by the video you were watching that you didn't notice the shower turn off nor did you notice Wonyoung leave her room in her bathrobe. Suddenly, you feel two arms wrap around you from behind the couch and you feel Wonyoung's hair fall next to you. You look to your left and you are met with Wonyoung looking at your intently. "I'm sorry I freaked out earlier Y/N. I was just hurt that you could easily just sweep us under the rug." "No Wony, I'm sorry. I thought you would just want to pretend like we didn't exist; but I should've known that you aren't that kind of person. Are we good Wony?" "Yeah we're good". Wonyoung then decided to jump over the couch but she got her foot caught on the top of it and fell face first on top of you. Her robe fell undone and you saw that she was only wearing the skimpiest bra possible that barely covered her tits and a pink thong. Wonyoung wondered why you looked like deer in headlights then noticed what you were staring at. "Like what you see honey" "Sorry sorry" You hastily averted your eyes while Wonyoung decided to play with you even more and straddled you while typing her robe back together. "Dont worry, we both know all the boys love to stare. Its not your fault that I am hot". Luckily, you were saved by the bell, literally. You two both heard the delivery driver ring the doorbell and drop off your food. "Don't worry dear, I got it. Seems like you have something else you need to take care of" While she got up to get the food, you realized that you had started to get hard. You tried to mentally will your dick to soften, Wonyoung returned with the food. She started to place the food on the coffee table but you swore that she purposely was trying to get you to look at her tits while she was leaning down to place the food. While you were trying to make sure to not look at her tits, Wonyoung told you moved your legs wider and stood in front of you expectantly. You looked at her confused then you saw her turn around and planted her ass in your lap. She then squirmed around to get comfortable which didn't even help your hardon at all. You resumed your video and you both started eat your food. Wonyoung, being the pick me bitch you were in love with, not only kept moaning every time she ate a piece of her roll; but she also did a little hop of happiness right on top of your dick.

"Wony can you please stop" you begged. "Stop what Y/N" She responded with a massive smirk". "You know exactly what you're doing". "I just love sushi, it's not my fault that you're a fucking horny bastard whose cock is begging for some attention. If you need some help, you just have to ask baby". You groaned because you knew she was just fucking with you. "Wony can you please stop it. I know you love messing with me but this is too far". Wonyoung turned around and starting straddling you. "Who says I'm just fucking with you. All you have to do is ask" "Wony I'm serious." "So am I". You two stared at each other for what felt like eternity before Wonyoung, out of nowhere, slapped you and stomped into her room, slamming the door after her.

You sat there stunned for a few seconds before standing up and timidly knocking on her door. After no response, you opened her door and walked into her room. You saw her in her buried under her covers. You sat down on her bed and peeled the covers off her beautiful face. "Wony, please forgive me. I'm sorry for checking you out and objectifying you." No response "Wony, please". "You fucking asshole. you don't even understand why I'm mad. That's what pissing me off". "Then tell me please.". She sighed before finally meeting your eyes. "I want you to check me out. I want to tease you until you do something about it. I Want you to fuck me so hard I forgot my name… I want you to fill me with so much cum that it leaks out of me". You sat there like an idiot with your mouth open and your eyes looking around searching for the hidden camera to prove that this was all a prank. She sighed again and grabbed the back of your head to force you to look in her eyes. "I'm in love with you" "Huh". "Remember my 1st boyfriend" You nodded. "Well after I kissed him for the first time. I was a bit stunned but not for the right reason. I thought your first kiss was supposed to be life changing but instead I just felt nothing. I asked Yujinnie about it and she said that maybe he just wasn't the right person for me and that the right person would be obvious after the first kiss because chemistry can't be faked or hidden. During one of my rants after breaking up with my last boyfriend told me something I will never forget, I was ranting to her and she just looked at me and said 'You are in love with Y/N'. I told her she was crazy, that you were my best friend and nothing more; but after thinking about it more, I realized that every guy I dated I compared to you. That everything I wanted them to do you did for me. That even when I was on dates with them, I would always be thinking about if you would like it too. That our chemistry was undeniable. That you made me laugh, you comforted me when I was down even when you didn't know how to, and you made me feel things deeper than anyone else. That's why I didn't date anyone our last 2 years of highschool and why no one my freshman year ever caught my attention. I thought that maybe going to another college would help my feelings dissipate but if anything they made them stronger." You just kept looking at her with a dumbfounded look on your face. She then huffed with annoyance and kept going "But then I spent year and year catching you stealing glances when you thought I wasn't looking, seeing you corret yourself each time you realized that you were checking out my ass or my tits, and doing nothing fucking about it. I gave you space to sort yourself out when I transferred in but then today happened. So now, you are going to grovel. You are going to beg for my forgiveness and you are going to spend the entire weekend doing whatever I want. Okay?" You nodded. "Perfect. For your first task is to fuck me for the next 3hrs before the party. You are going to fill me with as many loads of that cum that I fucking deserve. That you have deprived me of for the past 3 years because your indecisive ass wouldn't grow some balls and tell me your feelings."

Despite that obvious order, you kept staring at her like a lost puppy. "God I hate that I love you so much" she spat at you before shoving her tongue down your throat. Finally your brain started processing and you kissed her back before shoving her down on the bed. She grabbed your hands had them tear open her robe before grabbing her ass. You two made out for 3o seconds with you constantly groping her ass before breaking for air. She stared at you with the biggest fuck me eyes you had ever seen and you watched her reach before her back and unhooking her bra letting her glorious little tits show themselves. She then reached down to take off her panties before you stopped her and slowly kissed down her body before reaching your final destination. You slowly peeled off the final barrier blocking you from the gift that was her cunt. You stared at her shaven, glistening pussy before taking a long lick. Before you could have worship it anymore, she grabbed your head and brought you back up to face her face to face. "I know you want to eat what's yours before I need your cock baby". You got off her and hastily discarded your cloths. Wonyoung stood up and forced you to sit on the edge of her bed before getting on her knees. She took a second to inspect you before grabbing your shaft and stroking you. You instantly groaned enjoying the sensation before she cruelly stopped. "Awe, do you want me to keep stroking you". "Wony" you complained. "Don't Wony me. This is mine. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. Be happy I need this as badly as you do". She retorted. She then took a long lick of her cock before slowly sliding it into her waiting mouth. She took you inch by inch before you hit the back of her throat causing her gag reflex to kick in. "Are you okay". "Yes, just give me a second." She then took you wholly into he mouth again and starting slobbering all over your cock. You grabbed her hair into a makeshift ponytail and tried to think of anything other than the feeling of your cock being shoved down Wonyoungs throat. "You're so close aren't you baby". She haughtily said before taking you into her mouth again. You felt yourself getting closer and closer to your release. You tried to take yourself out of her warm mouth but she kept you suctioned in like a vacuum. You opened your mouth to warn Wony about your release but before you could say a word, you spilled your load down her thoat. She greedily drank each spurt before cleaning your clock and straddling you. When you finally regained your composure, you saw her smirking at you. "God you are so mine" She said before taking your lips into hers. Breaking the kiss, despite her complaints. You placed your hands on your waist and met her eyes. "I love you Wony". "I know Y/N. I love you too. Now stop fucking around and fuck me."

That got you hard instantly. You picked her up and placed her gently on her bed before lining up with her entrance. You brushed her hair out her face before asking "are you sure Wony. Yes Y/N, I want you to be my first and only. I've been waiting for this for years, so again, I love you and appreciate you confirming, but please for the love of God fuck me." That was all you needed before you slowly entered her. She was so warm and tight that you had to hold yourself back from coming instantly. Once you had fully entered her, you look at her to check that she was okay before starting to move. You started to slide in and out of her. Wonyoung began to moan and it was the best thing you had ever heard in your life. "Wony, I'm close". "So am I". "Where do you want it" "Inside me, please." "Are you sure baby?" "Yes, I have never been more sure in my life". You proceeded to start fucking her fasfter and faster chasing your release. When Wonyoung felt your impending release, she wrapped her legs around you and forced you so deep inside of her that you instantly filled her wombs with your second load. You then collapsed on top of her while your cock still buried inside of her. Once you had regained your strength, you started to pull your softening dick out of her; but that only caused Wonyoung's legs to grip you harder. "Don't you fucking dare pull out. This cock is mine." You quickly accepted your fate before giving her a kiss on her forehead. "Fuck, I love you". You saw Wonyoung shyly go to cover her face which was quickly being filled with a blush. You grabbed her hands and gave her a soft kiss. You then flipped you and Wonyoung again, making sure that you two were still connected, so you were on your back with Wonyoung laying on top of you.

You two stayed there listening to the sounds of the city before Wonyoung started laughing. You looked at her with a questioning look. "Whats so funny Wony? Was I that bad?" "No No No honey. We are just such a cliche. Friends to lovers after years of pining. I mean come on.". You gave her a quick peck before saying "at least we got a happy ending". "Oh sweetie, this isn't our ending" Wonyoung replied. You looked at her with a worried look "What do you mean Wony?". "Don't worry, I just mean one night of sex isn't our ending Y/N". "Of course not. I mean we are going to date right?" you hastily replied. Wonyoung looked at you with an annoyed look on her face. "What" you asked. She sighed before responding "Of course we are going to date. But that isn't going to our ending either. You looked at her clearly confused. She sighed again and said "Y/N, our parents have been pushing us to spend time together since forever. My parents bought us an apartment to live in together…" You just kept looking at her. "Y/N are you serious… ugh god you are so lucky that I love you so much. This is it for both of us. You are mine and I am yours. You're are going to spend the rest of your life filling this cunt with your cum. We're are going to get married and you're going to be the father of my children." You looked at her like she just told you that you beat your life threatening disease. "Really!" you asked her. "God you're an idiot." she replied while laughing. You two decided to take a nap before the party.

2hrs later you woke up while still connected with Wonyoung and her laying on your chest. "Wony, we have to get up. It's 8:30. We need to get ready". "I don't wanna. I like it here" she sleepily replied. You started to pull out so you could start to get ready; but Wonyoung wrapped herself around you again so it was impossible to separate. "Wonyoung, we need to shower and get ready otherwise our friends are going to be pissed." "Fine but you are not pulling out until I say you can". You then carried her to the bathroom and started the shower. "We are only showering, okay Wony". "Nope we are fucking". "Wony please, we need to focus up". "Nope, you owe me". "Wony…" "Y/N, you are going to fucking fill me with two more loads before the party and thats it. Now stop complaining and fuck your horny girlfriend".

You quickly shoved her tits first into the glass side of the shower and started pounding the cunt of the love of your life. "Isn't this better than actually showering?" Wonyoung moaned. "Shut up you brat." you replied. "You love this. Stop lying to yourself Y/N. The faster you make fill me, the faster we get to the party. Keep fucking my cunt daddy." Hearing Wonyoung call you daddy broke any attempt of holding back your release and you instantly filled her again with your load. Feeling your release fill her caused Wonyoung to orgasm uncontrollably. 30 seconds and 4 spurts later you and Wonyoung finally recovered. "That's me" Wonyoung said while planting kisses on your lips. "Wony I don't know if I can go again". "Are you sure baby? You sure you can't muster the strength to breed this cunt again. I know you've had wet dreams of breeding me. Of filling me with so much cum that it's impossible that you don't knock me up. Or maybe you just need some motivation." That caused your cock to twitch and you knew she felt it. She then whispered in your ear "Maybe you just need some more motivation. If you can give my greedy little cunt another load, I'll let you fuck me in the ass tonight. Wouldn't you love to take all of my firsts in one day. You've already fucked my throat raw, you breeded this cunt, all you need left daddy is to fuck this tight little ass." That filthy mouth of her, the feeling of her cunt wrapped around you, and the thought of fucking her ass made it impossible for your cock to say soft and you knew you were fucked when she moaned after feeling the hardening of your cock. "There it is" she cockily said. "God I hate you" you replied and just smirked and said "I love you too baby".

After one more round in the shower and quickly getting ready (well you got ready quickly and then waited another 30 minutes for Wonyoung to get ready because in her words "Beauty takes time baby."). You and Wonyoung finally got to arrived at Yujin's house. Everyone else had already arrived so you and Wonyoung coming late and together raised some eyebrows. With everyone staring at your arrival, you quickly apologized and went to go sit down on couch with your friends Sunghoon and Heeseung; but before you could, Wonyoung grabbed the back of your shirt and pulled you back. She glared at you before saying "everyone, Y/N has an announcement to make". With everyone looking at you expectantly, you cleared your throat. "Well ummm, so the reason we were late is ummmm". You glanced at Wonyoung who as still staring daggers at you. You gulped before continuing "Well, I guess it is uhhhh." You took a deep breath before saying "Okay fuck it, Wonyoung and I are together like dating." "What? Since when" everyone yelled except for Yujin who just smirked at you two, Heeseung who looked at you with an unsurprised look, and Sunghoon who just sat there. Wonyoung then decided to speak up "As of 6pm today. Although it should've been a lot earlier right Y/N?" You groaned and replied "Yes Wony, we should've gotten together years ago; but I am a blind idiot who couldn't muster the courage to confess and I didn't realize the quite obvious signs and feelings that Wonyoung had". That caused a large laugh from Yujin "Wonyoung you can't have Y/N take all the blame. You could've confessed to." "But Unnie" "Don't Unnie me Jang Wonyoung". This little exchange caused you to smirk which Wonyoung quickly picked up on and smacked your shoulder. "God, you two dating is just going to make you two even more annoying" Yujin said with a smile on her face. "What do you mean" you and Wony asked. "What do I mean? You two both act like puppies kicked puppies whenever the other isn't with you. Most people don't notice it but trust me you do. Y/N you pretend that you are some whipped lovesick idiot with an unrequited love when in reality Wony has been in love with you honestly longer than you have been in love with her although she realized her love for you after you realized your love for her. And Wony, you pretend that you are some IT Girl who has Y/N wrapped around your fingers when in reality you are so in love with Y/N that everything you do has been influenced by how you it think it will affect Y/N." Everyone laughed at Yujins adept analysis of your and Wonyoungs relationship and dynamic while you and Wony pouted. After hours of laughter, games, and , of course plenty of drinks, everyone left Yujins and went back to their respective homes.

Wonyoung, ever the brat, decided that the uber ride home from the party was the perfect time to revisit a conversation from earlier in the day. She leaned into you and started whispering in your ear "Jagi, remember our conversation from earlier?" "Which one Wony?" "You know…" as she slide her hand onto your thigh and ever so close to your crouch "the one in the shower about a certain part of me that you love to stare at and I am sure would love even more to fuck". That got you hard instantly. "Wony" you warned as she slowly started to massage you through your pants. "What Jagi, don't tell me that just thinking of fucking my ass got you that hard. Maybe you are remembering what was happening when we had that conversation. That is was after you had filled me with your cum for the fourth time today. Or maybe its because you remembered that your cock was still sheathed inside its warm little cock sleeve." "Or maybe Wony it's because my slut of a girlfriend is groping me through my pants and is talking about how much of a whore she is while we are in the back of an Uber" you retorted back. "Oh Y/N, you know I'm only a slut for you". You began to form a response to her latest quip but she quickly shut you up with a kiss. You two started to make out before you were rudely interrupted by the driver clearing their throat "Excuse me, we're here". You and Wonyoung detached yourself and quickly excited the car; but not before hearing the driver make another remark "horny ass college students. They never know how to act in public". Normally, you would be embarrassed and would apologize profusely; but currently your mind was somewhere else or on someone else.

After stumbling into your shared apartment, you and Wonyoung started to tear each other's clothes off. Lips attched and not even being close to remotely willing to deattach, you two finally made it to her bedroom. Not without bumping into numerous pieces of furniture and a few walls, you quickly removed the final pieces of clothing keeping you from fucking the living daylight out of each other. Taking control for the first time since you don't even know when, you softly shoved Wonyoung onto her bed. Wonyoung, ever the little vixen, then made a show of slowing opening her legs and showing you the thing you never realized you needed so desperately. God, you could just stare at her pretty little pussy all day. Wonyoung, noticing how entranced you were, grabbed your hands and started having you trace her cunt with your fingers. You dropped to your knees and were about to feast on her when she suddenly shoved you ass first onto the ground. Confused and devastated that your prize was taken away from you, you stood up and were greeted by another one of your favorite sites… Wonyoung tight, naked ass. You stood there entranced until you heard Wonyoungs pitiful little pleas "Jagi, please" You raised your eyes past the ass that you have been obsessed with since highschool and up that perfect arch to meet Wonyoung's signature fuck me eyes. Slowly you slide inch by inch into the object of all your fantasies. Each inch paired with an excruciating amount of pain and pleasure for the both of you. Once you had finally bottomed out, you took a breath. Raising your right hand to meet her chin, you softly brush your lips against hers. "Are you okay Wony?" "Perfect Jagi". After confirming her comfort, you started to thrust in and out of her puckered hole. Each thrust had you giving it your all to hold back the wave of your release. Sensing your struggle, Wonyoung started to push her ass to meet your thrusts, trying to spur on your release. "Jagi, don't hold back. Just fuck me." Hearing that, you started to pound her without abandon. After a few more thrusts, you relented and gave her everything she had been begging for. Filling her ass with spurt after spurt of your cum. Feeling your release, Wonyoung quickly followed suit, covering her bed with her juices. After what felt like eternity, you finally stopped cumming. Exhausted, you collapsed on top of Wonyoung.

"Jagi" "Yes, Wony". "You're still inside me". "Sorry baby". You carefully slide your softening dick out of her ass and fell next to her. Before you could react, Wonyoung rolled onto top of you and quickly reinserted your barely erect dick into her warm cunt before laying her head on your chest. "Wony?" "Mine" was all she said before falling asleep. Making sure you were still connected, you carefully slipped under the covers of the bed with her. Feeling yourself start to fall asleep, you wrapped your arms around the woman of your dreams and gave a sigh of content, before finally letting sleep take hold of you.

[starguardianniom]

Gabriel asked her to not say everything, but he literally is dead now so he's not there to twist her arm into it.

She could have taken the high road of deciding to be honest about everything because it would be the right thing to do and Adrien deserves as much, but Marinette wanted her boyfriend to not be more traumatized than he would be once learning his dad died and chose to keep quiet about everything just to protect his feelings even if she's dating him.

Gabriel isn't there to force her into anything, all his wish did was bringing back Nathalie and giving her her health back. Nothing more, nothing less.

She's not magically bound to withold the truth.

She deliberately chooses to.

A relationship build on lies is bound to crumble sooner or later.

It happened back when she dated Luka, the secrecy killed it fast.

So honestly what the fuck did she think would happen when deciding to actually do what Gabriel asked her to?

Yeah, she didn't think that far.

How long before she cracks?

How long before Adrien is done with her excuses and lies and her trying control everything in his life in an attempt to apologize for not saving his father by overcompensating and overthinking everything?

How long before she finally snaps?

She only thought of Adrien, she didn't think of herself at all when making the decision.

And now she's gonna pay the price all season long and drag everyone else alongside her for refusing to be honest about everything in a misguided attempt to protect her boyfriend's feelings while also covering up the previous local magical terrorist and public enemy number 1's crimes.

Not gonna be surprised if she ends up akumatized this season.

“Why is Marinette suddenly clumsy around Adrien again?”, “Why is she acting weird again?”, “She was acting fine before,”

Yeah, she WAS acting normal at the end of season five, but that was before she found out her boyfriend’s dad was the supervillain terrorising Paris and had then witnessed his death.

Marinette now has even MORE secrets she has to keep and she can’t tell anyone. Not Chat Noir, not Alya, and ESPECIALLY not Adrien. So yeah she’s going to be acting a little more strange again because she now has this added strain on their relationship, because even after his death, Gabriel Agreste/Monarch still has control over her.

[arcane-vagabond]

Two Birds: Chapter One

Two Birds: Chapter One

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader x Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw

Summary: Growing up in the midwest meant that you weren't exposed to many of the dangers of the world, and it also meant that you missed out on some of what life had to offer. Taking a leap, you move to New York City with a few personal belongings and the little money you have left in your savings. You become good friends with your roommate and, by extension, the people at the club she works at. However, it isn't long until you catch the eye of not one, but two mafia bosses that rule the city with an iron grip. Will you stay out of their clutches, or will you give in and become another pawn in their wicked games? (Mafia!AU)

Content Warnings: Cursing, Mentions of guilt, Gentlemen's club (off hours), Flirting, Handsy Bradley and Jake, Pet names, no use of y/n. I think that's it, but please let me know if I missed something!

Word Count: 3.9k

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

A couple of weeks had passed, and you were now entering your third month of living in the city. Annie had been right, you had become fast friends after long nights spent gabbing about anything and everything, and late mornings after the previous night’s binge drinking. Your roommate was a fun, happy-go-lucky soul, and you loved her all the more for it.

Your job at one of the local bakeries near the heart of the city provided you with enough money for your portion of the rent, food, and enough to spend however you saw fit, a feat you still weren’t sure how you managed. Your boss was a lovely older woman in her mid-fifties who greeted you with a smile every morning as you clocked in for your shift. Thankfully, she preferred to do the early, early morning prep work herself along with her daughter, so you weren’t expected to walk through the doors until sometime around eight every morning.

You enjoyed the tediousness of the job, the routine giving you something to latch on to in the unfamiliarity of the big city. Annie had been coaching you diligently on how to navigate the never-ending, concrete streets and sprawling subways. Your Midwest manners were quickly stamped down by your burgeoning experience with the different crowds that inhabited the city.

“Don’t walk around at night by yourself if you can avoid it,” Annie had told you during your first week there, the two of you headed back to the apartment after you had decided to go out for dinner. “There are a bunch of crazies out here, Mousie. Me? I’m used to this place, but you got that air about you that just invites people to take advantage.”

You hummed, trotting a few paces to try and keep up with her much longer legs. She cast you a sideways glance with a grimace of an apology.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean anything bad by it,” she sighed, hands pushed into her pockets as she slowed slightly to give you a break. “You’ll perfect the art of the ‘don’t fuck with me’ vibe before you know it, Mouse.”

And you liked to think that you had come along way in the few weeks you had spent in the city, perfecting your mean, scary face so that people wouldn’t approach you. Some still did, but the number had certainly decreased. Though, you still felt the nagging feeling of guilt every time you outright ignored someone, averting your eyes and hanging your head as you walked a little faster down the street.

Today was a day you, thankfully, had off. Though, you still rose early, your body already used to the schedule of the bakery, and as you stretched in bed, your mind wandered to the container of chocolate chip cookies that sat on the counter in the kitchen. A gift from your boss, albeit they were cookies that would have been thrown in the trash anyway due to their age of only two days.

You lay in bed for the next half hour, dozing as the light of the day streamed in past your curtains, illuminating your still plainly decorated room. Annie had offered to take you shopping for more decor, but you had insisted on earning your own money and paying for your own decor.

“It’s not like I don’t have the extra cash, babe,” she told you, lips pulled back into a grimace as she watched you flit about the apartment.

“I’m serious, Annie,” you told her, glancing over your shoulder at her as you set the mop to the side. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, but I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness either.”

“How is it taking advantage if I’m offering?” She muttered with a scoff. You had shot her a warning look before placing your hands on your hips.

“I need to prove to myself that I can do this,” you sighed, feeling your shoulders slump.

“Alright, alright,” she relented, giving you an understanding smile. “But if I give you gifts, you have to accept them. It’s a law or something.”

You smiled fondly at the memory, pulling a pillow close to your chest, one of Annie’s many “gifts” as she called them. Your eyes flickered open with a stifled yawn before you lazily rolled over on to your feet. You padded out the door and down the hall to your shared bathroom, Annie’s soft snores filtering out past her closed door. Her job often kept her up until the early morning hours, and there were days where you were headed off to work just as she was walking through the door.

You brushed your teeth and got ready for the rest of the day, settling on a pair of faded jeans, a plain, white t-shirt underneath a beige cardigan and a pair of simple sneakers. You didn’t have much planned for the day, but you had been meaning to check out one of the bookstores downtown. Your groceries were getting low too, and you knew you’d have to go and get more soon, adding a trip to the grocery store to your list of things to do that day. You settled on the couch with a cup of tea, inhaling the aromatic steam that wafted up towards you as you turned on the TV, the news popping up to greet you. A string of violent crimes plagued the city, but you had slowly become accustomed to that news as well during your time there.

Eventually, you grew bored with the news, choosing instead to turn on the latest crime documentary from Netflix, the serious tones of the detectives and witnesses filling the quiet, morning air and lulling you back to a place somewhere between sleep and awake.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when the sound of Annie’s door opening jolted you awake. You blinked, shuffling to sit up on the couch just as she trudged through the doorway, rubbing sleep from her eyes and looking around blearily.

“Wha’ time’s it?” She asked, voice thick with sleep as she rubbed her face. Her hair was sticking up every which way, her eyes still ringed with the tinges of last night’s makeup. You knew she must have had a particularly late night.

“Uh,” you started, glancing at the clock above the stove, “just before noon.”

“Shit!” She hollered out, eyes growing wide and panicked as she turned to sprint back into her room. You heard a commotion from her room before footsteps sounded in the hall, leading to the bathroom where the shower creaked to life, the spray hitting the tub. You sighed, hoisting yourself up off the couch to rinse your mug out in the sink. The shower didn’t run long, and soon you heard the creak of the valves turning off, soft thuds and movement coming from behind the door. Annie burst out, drying her hair furiously as she padded into her room wearing nothing but the small towel wrapped around her.

“Cannot believe I overslept,” she griped, her door closed just enough to provide herself some privacy as you waited in the kitchen.

“It’s a bit early for you to head down to the club, isn’t it?” You asked, brow furrowing. Usually, Annie didn’t head in for another couple of hours, and you heard her let out a huff as she appeared back in the kitchen dressed in a pair of jeans, fitted black top and matching heels. Even running late, she still looked immaculate.

“Bosses want us there extra early today to try out some new routines,” she explained.

“Bosses?” You frowned. “I thought your boss was Reuben?”

“He is,” she assured you, digging through her purse to make sure her keys were still inside. “But the big bosses are coming in today.”

“Who are the big bosses?” You asked, leaning over the counter. She paused, pressing her lips firmly together before giving you an uncertain look.

“No one you wanna get involved with, Mousie,” she said finally. “I mean, they’re nice enough guys, but…”

She trailed off, and the implication wasn’t lost on you. You offered her a tight smile, glancing at the stovetop clock once more before waving her off.

“You better get going before you’re even more late,” you warned, nodding to the time. She cursed again, shouting a quick “thanks” over her shoulder as she sped out the apartment, the door slamming closed behind her. You let out a sigh, rolling your eyes affectionately after her before grimacing at the apartment. Perhaps you would make it to that bookstore another time. For now, you settled on grabbing your own purse to go grocery shopping.

You had just made it back into the apartment when your phone buzzed. You settled the bags on top of the counter, your fingers aching with the strain of the multitude of bags before fishing your phone out of your bag. Annie’s name flashed across the top, and you quickly unlocked your phone before your eyes landed on the all too familiar words.

I forgot something at the apartment.

Could you grab it for me and bring it by the club pretty please? :(

You huffed out a laugh, typing out a quick response to let her know that of course you would bring whatever it was she forgot to the club for her.

You’re the best! Came her even quicker reply, and you just knew she had been pacing nervously backstage, biting her fingers in that terrible habit she had when she was nervous.

It’s a pair of silver heels and a hot pink boa. They should be on my desk chair. You can’t miss them!

You shook your head, noting how she herself missed them in her rush out the door this morning, but dutifully made your way to her room, pushing the door open as you stepped inside. Sure enough, the heels and the boa lay draped on top of the chair in question, and you quickly gathered them up in your arms to bring back into the kitchen. You grabbed your phone, firing off a quick reply.

I’ve gotta put groceries up really quick, but then I’ll head over. Give me about an hour?

Anything for you, Mouse! I owe you!

You laughed outright at that. This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for your roommate, and you often found yourself making the trip down to the club to bring her something she forgot. You set your phone down and made fairly quick work of the groceries, storing the bags underneath the sink for later use. You grabbed your things before grabbing the heels and the boa, pausing to grab the box of cookies that still sat on the counter before making your way out the door and locking it behind you.

It was about a twenty-minute train ride to the neighborhood where Annie worked, and you exited the subway with a squint as your eyes readjusted to the daylight. You walked a block south, coming upon the familiar, unassuming building with a sign that read “The Hard Deck” in a pretty, pink scrawl across the top of the entrance. A man dressed in all black stood by the door, his face mean and intimidating with eyes hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses. You grinned up at him as you approached, and a hint of a smile pulled on his lips as he caught sight of you.

“Hey Tony,” you greeted, wiggling your fingers with the hand that held the heels and the boa. “How’s your day been?”

“It’s better now that you’re here, Mouse,” he chuckled, relaxing his posture somewhat. “I take it Annie forgot something again?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged, rolling your eyes playfully. “Name a time she hasn’t, you know?”

He laughed at that, his head resting against the brick of the building as he rolled his shoulders out.

“She used to tear out of here like a bat from hell before you came to town, ya know,” he grinned. “Wonder what she’s gonna do when you’re not around anymore to spoil her like this.”

“Well,” you started, “hopefully that won’t be for a while yet. Now, do you want a cookie before the others eat them all?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” he laughed, pushing off from the side of the building to peek into the box you held in your hand. He grabbed one, taking a bite and humming as you walked past him and into the building.

When you had first found yourself stepping into Annie’s work, you had been apprehensive, expecting a seedy, little hole in the wall with sticky floors and tacky decor. Instead, you were greeted with a clean, sultry business that Annie told you had earned a reputation of being the best in the city.

“It’s actually pretty classy,” she had told you when you first asked her about what she did for a living. “It’s a lot of high end clients that frequent there, and they tip pretty well too. It’s decent pay to begin with and the manager is a pretty good guy too.”

You had met Reuben on one of your first trips to the club, the handsome man not being at all what you expected from a manager. He was young, for one thing, hovering somewhere between mid-thirties and forty if you had to guess. He was dressed to the nines every time you saw him, a friendly smile always on his face as he greeted you. He was nowhere to be seen now as you strolled into the Hard Dark, voices filtering out from different areas of the large room and from backstage as your eyes swept the area.

There were no windows, the only lights coming from the artificial ones that hung overhead. The main color was black, a red carpet curving across the floor and red drapes hanging from off the walls with gold accents placed everywhere. It gave a feeling of old Hollywood, almost.

“There you are!”

You turned just as Annie rushed over to you, pulling you in for a tight hug. She pulled away, grabbing her heels and boa from you.

“You’re a lifesaver, Mousie!” She beamed, and you waved her off.

“I wasn’t doing much anyway,” you told her, shifting the box of cookies into your now free hand. “I brought the cookies too for everyone.”

“You’re so sweet, babe. Come hang out with us for a while,” she cooed, pulling you further towards the main stage. Familiar faces of the different staff greeted you as you walked through, several waving and others following you once they spotted the bright pink box in your hands. You often brought goodies from the bakery, making you an instant hit with the employees at the club.

“What did you bring for us today, Mouse?” Bryan, one of the bartenders called.

“Cookies!” You called back with a smile.

“You’re such a godsend, hun,” said Lindsey, one of the other dancers. “I never have time to go to this place before it closes.”

“One of the perks of being roomies with an employee there,” Annie grinned at her, swiping a cookie as you set the box down on the stage and opened the lid. Several others clambered toward the stage to snag a cookie before retreating and allowing the next wave in. You were so caught up in the conversations happening around you that you didn’t notice the figure come out from the back.

“What’s going on here?” A deep timber asked. You noticed Annie stiffen visibly beside you before turning your head to look at the newcomer. He was tall, brown hair curled against his forehead that pointed towards a pair of golden brown eyes. Scars littered the golden skin of his face, and you couldn’t help but notice the strong muscles that lay hidden beneath his dress shirt. Your lips twitched at the sight of the mustache that hung above his upper lip, but you quickly tamped it down as you took in the nervous faces around you. He swaggered over towards where you stood, the small crowd parting easily for him, and you had to tilt your head back just to meet his gaze.

“Shouldn’t you all be working?” He pointed out. His voice was light, playful even, but the underlying warning in his tone was palpable, and all but Annie and yourself hastened to get away. You swallowed slightly, shifting uneasily at the change in the atmosphere. Annie stood still next to you, not saying a word which was unlike her.

“And who might you be?” He asked, leaning against the stage with a smirk. “Think I would have remembered a pretty face like yours. You lookin’ for a job, hm?”

“She’s my roommate,” Annie replied before you could say anything. “She’s just stopping by to drop off a few things I forgot is all.”

“Is that so?” The man hummed, peeling his eyes away from you long enough to cast her an unreadable look before they shifted back to you. “So you’re the little mouse Reuben mentioned pops by from time to time, huh?”

“I guess,” you muttered, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt as you looked anywhere but at him. You felt his smirk grow as he leaned into you, his nose almost brushing yours in the process. You squeaked at the sudden proximity, eyes widening as the smell of his cologne encircled you, the scent of sandalwood, vanilla, and something woodsy ensnaring you as he spoke.

“My name’s Bradley, Mouse,” he murmured, lips curling into a sultry smile as he laced a finger through the loop of your jeans. “You gonna give me a taste?”

You had the distinct feeling that he wasn’t talking about the cookies that still sat on the stage. Without thinking, you grabbed the box, bringing it between you and Bradley, putting some distance between the two of you enough so that you could try to scramble for a coherent thought.

“Here,” you squeaked. Bradley looked stunned for a second, brown eyes wide as he looked from you, down towards the box. There was a moment of still silence before he tossed his head back with a loud laugh, one that caused several people nearby to jump. He looked back at you with a wicked grin, taking the box from your hand and putting it back on the stage with an added chuckle. He grabbed your waist, pulling you flush against him and bringing a hand up to cradle your face as he leaned down, his breath fanning over you.

“I might just have to keep you, honey,” he purred, eyes hooded as he drank you in. Your face warmed at the combination of his words and his hand around your waist that slowly started to wander.

“What are you doing, Rooster?”

You jumped at the new voice, turning your head with a gasp as your eyes landed on the stranger standing next to Reuben. His square jaw was clenched in what you could only assume was annoyance, narrowed, green eyes moving from Bradley down to you. His face softened slightly, brow arching as he took you in. You thought you saw his lips twitch in the hint of a smirk before neutrality settled over his features once more.

“Hey, Mouse!” Reuben greeted, his friendly demeanor almost unnerving. He acted as if you weren’t being held captive in the arms of a strange man, instead looking from you towards where Annie stood behind you. “I didn’t know you were stopping by today.”

“Annie forgot something,” you offered weakly, breath still ragged from how close Bradley still held you.

“Rooster,” the blond man spoke up, his voice commanding attention, “you’re scaring the poor thing. Why don’t you let her go?”

Bradley grunted but let you go slowly, shooting you a wink as you backed up a couple of steps. The blond man stepped forward, hands shoved into the pockets of his expensive looking pants as a slow smirk crawled onto his lips.

“So you’re the little mouse we’ve heard so much about,” he drawled, stopping just in front of you. You shrugged, not saying anything as you averted your gaze. The man arched a brow at you, taking a hand out of his pocket to place a finger underneath your chin, lifting it so that you met his emerald gaze.

“Words, darlin’,” he purred, something twinkling in his gaze as you looked at him. You swallowed thickly.

“Yes,” you replied, earning a hum. The man’s finger traced along your jaw before his hand cupped the side of your neck gently, almost possessively.

“Good girl,” he praised, and something inside of you unexpectedly preened at the words. He leaned forward, the smell of patchouli and a hint of citrus hitting your nose at the movement. His lips brushed against your ear as he murmured, “my name is Jake.”

A shiver ran up your spine, and you felt his lips curl into a grin at your reaction.

“Shouldn’t we be getting back to business?” Bradley snapped, looking put out as Jake withdrew from you. The blond snorted with a roll of his eyes as he stepped back towards his companions.

“Since when do you give a shit?” He asked, the challenge hollow as he kept walking, Reuben quick to fall in line behind him. Bradley frowned as he watched Jake walk past, a muscle twitching in his jaw. His eyes looked back at you, lips curving in a thoughtful smile before shooting you a wink and following his two companions.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding, Annie coming up behind you quickly.

“I am so sorry,” she cried, blue eyes big and sorrowful.

“Why are you sorry?” You asked with a snort, brushing your hands down your rumpled shirt. “They’re the ones who’ve never heard of personal space, apparently.”

“Babe, do you not realize who they are?” She asked, brow furrowing as she studied you, lips pursing as she shook her head.

“Of course you don’t,” she muttered, placing a hand on her forehead as she sucked in a breath. “God, I’m so fucking stupid sometimes. How could I forget to tell you one of the most basic things?”

“Annie, what are you talking about?” You asked, crossing your arms as a sinking feeling came over you. Her eyes snapped open as she looked at you with an uncharacteristically solemn expression.

“There’s a lot more to this city than you realize,” she told you. “There are groups always grabbing for power and control of it, and right now there are two who are going head to head: the Daggers and the Harpies. You just met the two men who are in charge of the Dagger syndicate, Mouse: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin and Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw. ”

Your heart sank, and your head involuntarily whipped around towards where the group of men walked off to. You spotted them sitting in one of the booths, Reuben talking animatedly about something or other, but your stomach did a flip as you realized that both Jake and Bradley were already looking at you. The blond arched a brow at you while the brunette waggled his fingers at you with a playful smirk. Annie followed your gaze, sighing before continuing.

“And it looks like you’ve gone and caught their eye.”

A/N: Still trying to figure out where to take this one ngl, but I would love to hear your thoughts about what you'd want to see!

As always, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated. I no longer do taglists, so if you would like to be notified on when I post, please follow my sideblog ( @arcanevagabond-library ) and turn on post notifications! You can find me and my works on AO3 under the username arcane_vagabond. Until next time!

[tubbytarchia]

I’ve recently rewatched dl and I wanted to find out if you had any thoughts on Pearl and Scott’s dynamic.. (double life or general idm)

BOY DO I. SIT DOWN

I've talked lots about Scott before, of how he twists the narrative the most and treats most relationships more as transactional. I will now immediately follow that sentence up with dear god please don't assume I hate Scott he's so interesting and compelling PLEASE don't think I hate him I beg of you I LIKE HIM I don't think he's evil and a villain he's just a bit fucked up like everyone else PLEASE just. believe me

Me ^

Anyway now that that's out of the way. Scott I think has an innate need for connection but denies it in favor of weaving his own narrative that he is in control of, especially so in Third Life where to me, it feels like he sought out to find a tragic love story and he got exactly that, from his perspective anyway, what with the final sequence of him meeting Jimmy again in some imagined afterlife, the one part that was scripted and it shows. Love is a variable that he can't afford the risk of. I think the story with Jimmy that he weaved was more important to him than genuine affection. In Double Life he admits to having whittled Jimmy down to nothing in order to get something from him. But then along comes Last Life

In Last Life, whatever it was, something about Pearl really appealed to him if even subconsciously and he very genuinely cared about her imo. And that was a relationship that oddly enough started as purely transactional yet quickly developed into the most meaningful one I think Scott has had. Even when he faltered in returning Pearl's affection fully, Pearl didn't care and stood by him. Well exemplified by the time he kind of froze when Pearl was boogey killed by Lizzie, but Pearl didn't even think to hold his inaction against him. (Especially fun contrasted with Pearl accidentally breaking the rules in killing boogey Joel for killing Scott lol)

But all of that was the variable that Scott sought to avoid, so in Double Life he immediately uses what he can as an excuse to ostracize Pearl, almost as if to punish her for the crime of. loving? And I'm not about to claim that Pearl is wholly innocent but I'd argue that was unwarranted. Cleo and Scott are a great dynamic in a vacuum but unfortunately Cleo is also quite terrible (but then who isn't. It's a death game, they all are. Sorry I have to keep making these remarks because otherwise I get labelled a hater) and unfortunately fuels all the worst traits in Scott while Scott very readily sticks to her. They remain an encouraging pillar to Scott, it's just that the things being encouraged are like. Their ritual to slice each other with axes at full force just to stick it to Martyn and Pearl. Pearl often gets compared to Scott as equally physically harmful but idk personally I don't think the snow bucket compares to start-of-every-session-near-death-axe-crit routine. That's again not to say that she's innocent

Upon Scott spreading completely unfounded claims about her being crazy and malicious, she starts to adopt those claims. What else is she to do to get by? She has been nice to most players and nearly none of them want her around because of rumors despite her causing harm on accident at worst. She comes close to finally finding friends in Jimmy (Tango as well but mostly Jimmy), but ruins her chances by briefly playing into Martyn's "prank" and giving him Jimmy's horn without realizing it's importance to Jimmy, after which Jimmy tells her that she's no longer welcome on the ranch. She's effectively lost everyone and it is 90% due to Scott, not due to her actually acting the way she's claimed to as she only starts to go down that path after repeated rejection (sure she let herself be physically hurt to get at Scott, but it wasn't because of malice or having lost her mind, her doing so was reasonable anyhow but got twisted into something it wasn't. It's still wrong on her part and I do think she goes at least a bit insane as Scarlet Pearl surfaces, but the point is that she wasn't that when Scott started painting her that way)

Even in the very end, Scott retains control. He retained control of not only his narrative but contributed to most others' as well, painting Pearl as the exact character he wanted her to be known as in every POV outside of her own. And as they stand face to face as the last two survivors, Scott denies her any chance to change things, taking his own life instead whilst painting himself as noble in doing so

Scott is incredibly self-sacrificial but only when he gets something out of it, and because it allows him yet more control. He wants to be able to control when he dies, and he also gets to turn it into utmost grandiose statements of nobleness when he does, which then changes others' perception of him accordingly and directly or indirectly allows Scott to get something in exchange. His suicide in DL is no different, it was for him, not for Pearl

In Secret Life Scott also instils the idea of Pearl being untrustworthy in Gem

Wild Life. grrrr. Wild Life.............clenches fist. Pearl's personal hell

I think you can infer I was. scared to say the least about Pearl upon seeing her alliance in Wild Life. In the end though I ended up just being immensely sad and disappointed. Just about nothing worked out for Pearl, only for her trauma to be mocked repeatedly by Scott and Cleo

Pearl imo shows so many signs of regression, and she holds onto Impulse as the one member of her team that isn't actively taunting her, making it a goal for herself to see Impulse win, and it is that: for her, for anything to go her way, not so much for Impulse as much as she does genuinely care for him. She really doesn't spend that much time with him, she just needs a goal to work towards for her own sake. Pearl being unstable, untrustworthy and especially pathetic are all things that continue to get enforced within the alliance, where she's often spoken to like a ticking time bomb and the team's destructiveness gets relegated to her specifically. She recognizes not feeling good about it but she doesn't recognize everything that's at play in the social dynamics of their alliance or the extent of it

She becomes scared of people becoming resentful of her were she to make mistakes all the while Scott and Cleo start enabling her worst tendencies, aka Scarlet Pearl. They don't do this a large degree but they do make an explicit point of it, or at least Cleo does. Cleo is also however, if even vaguely, trying to mend the relationship between her and Pearl, where they occasionally encourage and defend her although it's not to a significant enough degree for Pearl to really realize. After Gem's death, Cleo is also there to help although Pearl is too distraught to appreciate it

While Gem's largely the catalyst for the "pathetic" notion that Pearl adopts to her detriment over the course of Wild Life, it only affects Pearl as strongly as it does due to her having gone through what she has, and because she's in a largely unloving alliance that fuels and reminds her of her wrongdoing. Just compare her mental state here to the one in Secret Life with the Mounders. Although it does have importance to her because she seeks reconciliation, she isn't allowed to forget about Double Life, she's not allowed to heal and grow around the grief of what's happened to her

And the final two notable incidents in her and Scott's relationship are 1. Her being made to feel like she needs to kill Scott, which she doesn't and ends up picking her own method of killing him to retain any semblance of choice, and 2. best summarized by my friend's Pearl POV analysis: "Scott is wearing my clothes. instead of villainizing me, our “reconciliation” has encouraged him to embrace the qualities he thinks I represent. he matches me, and we don’t talk about our past"

I state again that I like Scott, I like Cleo, I don't think they're evil or villains, at the very least in no cut-and-dry way. They're flawed and compelling and although I feel sad for Pearl and see Scott as largely at fault for what's happened to her, I care about Scott too and he's easily in the top 5 of most intricate Life characters to me that I enjoy dissecting

You know like. enjoying any character in any other fandom that is morally reprehensible in any way. I don't know why that's such a wild concept in traffic but sigh. I have to disclaim this unfortunately

[da-man-si]

Many romance-centric dramas have the best friend who always gives terrible advice and sometimes they are just not a good friend at all but I love that The First Frost has Zhong Siqiao as the true friend who may not know every detail about what happened in Yifan's life but she is attentive and caring and always shows up whenever Yifan calls for help. Yifan doesn't share much of her life with her but she has never complained once or tried to force Yifan to tell her. Qiao is clear-headed and always shuts down any self-deprecating thoughts that Yifan has and she always does it so clearly by saying "No. What you said is false. I've known you for years and in my opinion you are the best person ever so don't say that about yourself." For Yifan who was made to think of herself as a "burden", such loud and clear assurance from a long term friend must be so comforting. Plus, Qiao has a lovely subplot of her own and she and Su Haoan are such a cute pair! It isn't everyday that we get a drama where both the main storyline and the second storyline are interesting.

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

I really like how Nene reacts to all the supernatural events like an everyday person would. Like, I've seen her get hate for it, but I find it really... grounding? None of these occurances are normal, especially not for Nene, who only started being able to see ghosts recently (as in recently prior to the start of the story).

Her reactions are so very human. Like most people are afraid of ghosts and monsters (especially if you're getting attacked by one). But like, she's not a coward either. She's afraid but more often than not she does end up facing those fears to save herself and others (when she's put in a tight spot). I think people underestimate how much she's survived on her own without Hanako, Kou, or anyone else. She may not be the strongest fighter in the room but she is still strong. In a normal teenage girl strength kind of way.

I like Nene because every bit of her feels human. Her insecurity, her fears, her hobbies, her sense of style. She feels like a real person you could meet in real life. And in a wild story about ghosts and supernaturals and magic exorcists and demons and- her human presence in the story is grounding. It reminds us that this isn't a normal, everyday occurance it's strange and scary, and I think it helps us connect with the gravity of the situation.

She's just such a well written character omg I could gush about tbhk's writing all day (tho I'm not really good at it. Some of y'all are incredible at analyzing this series I swear-)

[into-the-milgramverse]

I've been thinking about Muu for a while now, especially the reason people generally don't like her and wanna vote her guilty. I get it's likely due to people's personal experiences with bullying, and I've had those experiences too, so I'm not here to excuse her actions. Just wanna bring another perspective.

So, she lives in Japan.

She's mixed. She has blonde hair.

Does anyone here know that in some Japanese schools, if your hair isn't perfectly black but instead brown, they'll edit your photos to make it black?

Do people know that her being white and asian puts her already as a target for bullying?

I'm pretty sure she knew of that before starting highschool.

So, how to prevent being bullied? She had to find someone to target herself. If she's the one on top, if she's the one bullying others, she won't be bullied, right? It's a survival strategy (yes, "survival", while talking about school. After all, for many, the experience of going to school and being bullied is genuinely traumatizing.)

Unfortunately, that strategy doesn't quite work because all it takes is to accidentally bully the wrong person, or bully at the wrong time and a teacher catches you. And then there's a low possibility that teacher will actually do something about the bullying (but who's to say that same teacher will be there when everyone turns against you now?)

But, if, when they turn against you, you apologize really sweetly and make sure you look really depressed over it, they might stop, right?

But you can only say so many "sorry"s before people stop believing you all together.

That's basically the cycle Muu is in.

Be at the top by putting others beneath you -> If they turn against you, put on an act to be pitied -> Go back to the top -> If knocked back down again, cry again

It's what seems to work in school so far, so she's applying that same logic to prison, since, ya know, she hasn't really had any other experiences in life yet. I really doubt a rich 16 year old girl would know what prison is like (even those familiar with prisons likely weren't ready for some magic prison like Milgram).

Is what she's doing bad? Yes. But should she be tortured and killed for that? No. Besides, does it really bring justice to her victim? The family of the girl she killed will just know that their daughter is dead, and the one responsible for their daughter's death ran away. I mean, how would they know Muu got kidnapped to some kind of magical prison?

[polar534]

I've been thinking about what after means for my Rook and Neve. Writing it out as an exercise more than anything. Then I remembered that before there was an after, there were two weeks of hell. Those two weeks sticking with Neve on some of her darkest nights even when after seems to finally stick.

Because of course there are nights where Rook is out late. That Neve's normal exhaustion from the cases she works during the day finally hits her shoulders. The weight of the never-ending work she puts in with the remaining members of the Veilguard to try and patch up the world left behind finally catching up to her. She passes out at her desk, not remembering where Rook said she'd be. She wakes to find herself alone...

And suddenly Neve is thrown right back to those two weeks of waiting in the Lighthouse. To the quiet aftermath of Tearstone Island.

Thrown back to the days with Emmrich consulting her on ways to narrow the search, his hair an absolute mess. Blood hastily wiped across his face, his cheek cut from the shaking of his hand as his razor reminds him just how uncertain he really is. Books tossed and piled high in his office, all dead ends. She hears Taash's rage, throwing furniture that always seemed to mend itself back together. Hears them roaring into the night, trying to get their voice to carry far enough for Rook to hear. To just find them already. Remembers Lucanis locking himself in his room, his eyes bloodshot from wrestling control between him and Spite. Both unable to do anything but wait. Both blaming themselves. His questions seem to echo her own. Why had Rook called out to him before she disappeared? He was right behind her. He was the closest. Why didn't he catch her before she fell?

She's brought back to Harding's quiet sobbing hiccups and the scout swiftly drying her eyes when she saw Neve approaching. Inexplicably trying to hold it together all for her sake. Even as reports came in from all over Northern Thedas. As the news breaks of the world to the South falling to the blight. The deafening silence coming out of Minrathous, from Dock Town, somehow echoing even louder than the world's cries for help.

She's brought back to the times she was asked to enter Bellara's room to find something. Maybe an artifact that Bel had been tinkering with would help. Of course Neve would find it, she understood Bel's system better than anyone else. Nevermind the fact that her hands shook as she picked it up. That the entire room felt wrong, and her stomach flipped to stand within it.

That unease never leaves her, even as her eyes are unable to look up at the decaying nest of feathers and fur that Assan had left behind in his favorite spot. Closing her eyes only makes her see Davrin. Makes her think of just how much she would give to hear his confidence one last time. To see the determination he carried in his shoulders with everything he did, inspiring the rest of them to keep going.

His never-ending faith in Rook.

The Grey Warden's oaths her uncle taught her echo in her head.

In death, sacrifice.

She's brought back to the nights where she shakily entered Rook's room, taking care to make sure no one else would see. Neve isn't one to hope for anything, she's played that game and lost too many times. But maybe, maybe she'd catch the world off-guard. That this nightmare would come to it's end and she'd walk in to see Rook, passed out on the couch in her room, snoring loudly enough to cause an echo down the hallway.

Telling herself she knew better when the room is empty, letting the door shut behind her and ignoring the frost gathering on the glass, preventing her from seeing the water beyond...

[storkmuffin]

The Magic of San (4/n)

Marilyn Monroe Sidebar Part 2 /4

Basically I just want to talk about Marilyn Monroe and San at the same time for no very good reason.

"Dumb", Guilelessness, Softness, Sweetness. San reminds me of Marilyn Monroe, of all people, because they both manage to combine things that you wouldn't think would normally go very well together - being brilliant performers, very funny and witty, competent at surviving and thriving in a cut-throat artistic and commercial environment, and yet still very appearing very approachable, touchable, vulnerable, and real. You could argue that the word DUMB might apply - and often is applied - to both: Marilyn is the 'dumb' blonde, San is often the 'dumb' jock or the 'naive' country boy, especially in comparison to the fast talking, huckster style swagger of his actual best friend cum frequent dance and acting partner, Wooyoung.

And this is where San being a boy gives him a major advantage over Marilyn Monroe. What would immediately be called stupidity in a woman is just guilesness, and openness, in a man. Even cuteness, which is very amusing given how mascular he is.

San is given to malapropisms in Korean and also apparently in English, that KQ has just adapted as part of his persona. He calls beam projectors 'holograms.' He's learning English as he goes (and honestly, Korean and English are the hardest languages for natives speakers of either to learn, without there being a full on immersion experience, so anyone doing this, KUDOS, so he made a transliteration error (Ateez of San - which is just plugging in English words into a Korean word order: 에이티즈의 산입니다).

He's such a country boy that even after 2 years of training to be a kpop idol and then several years as a globe trotting international pop star who lives in Seoul, he doesn't know boundaries of what's actually considered 강남, as seen in Wanteez Episode 28. It's confusing, potentially, because there's an actual subway stop caled 강남역 (Gangnam Station) which isn't fully in 강남구 (Gangnam district) - it straddles 서초구 and 강남구 - and then we call a really specific part of the city that is the eastern portion of the area south of the Han River 강남 to denote the 'fancy' and 'moneyed' part. (Once you're in the 강남 discussion it further subdivides into specific districts, which has their own 'strengths' - luxury shopping is in 청담, the fanciest education happens in 도곡 etc).

It does say something about Idol life too, by the way, that this guy from Namhae has one of the most 강남 type jobs (Kpop Idol) but doesn't know exactly what area 강남 actually covers.

Moreover, the guilelessness, the slight 'not sharp'ness that both San and Marilyn Monroe give off is combind with a sense of vulnerability. I want to protect them, somehow, which is not actually factually necessary.

Marilyn was actually a very tough woman - she survived trauma after disappointment after betrayal to get to where she got in her career, any one of which would have made me collapse in on myself. San is someone who can sing and dance fluidly in front of 50,000 people at a time, which - even the thought of standing in front of a crowd like that makes me want to go to the bathroom really really badly.

Nevertheless, everyone who loves Marilyn Monroe wants to go back in time to save her, and protect her. She needed that protection too, and never got it.

The thing that I find very reassuring about San's life as portrayed in KQ media material is that he has been given the sort of childhood that Marilyn would've longed for. He was absolutely adored by his parents, from the sounds of it. He was one of several KQ boys who said to his mother, "I am so glad I had you as my parents. I would want to have you as my parents again." His mother said to San, "I had such a wonderful time raising you. It was an entirely joyful experience." Norma Jean Baker would've given anything to either have that childhood herself or be able to provide it to someone else. San's mother also seems to have been an ideal sort of not-stage-mom: Enthused about her child's potential, very supportive about his dreams, but not living vicariously through him or hijacking his life to fulfill some gap in hers.

The nurse tending to Marilyn during a very traumatic intake at a mental institution where she'd been forcibly committed - her ultimate nightmare - said of her that while the nurse had expected a spoiled, slick Hollywood character, what she encountered was an exceptionally sweet, gentle-mannered and frightened woman, whom the nurse at this mental institution in the 50s (!) wanted to protect. Workmen who were doing roadwork outside of Marilyn's house one time told a biographer this story about how she loved to come out and hang out with them. They treated her like a kid sister, and she'd come and talk and bring them drinks and just be a darling, being nice.

San's behavior during the 'reality' content that Ateez makes has this same, sweet, gentle mannered, and considerateness that I very much want to believe is real. Like this time on the promotional content for Bouncy, San had the penalty for going to help some older ladies prep peppers. The content was OVER. The staff told him it was OVER but he insists that Ateez, the pop boy band, have to finish this farm country chore of prepping the peppers for drying.

San was the only one of the Ateez boys who knew how to talk to old country women. He was so at ease with them and with himself, and made fun conversation. The other Ateez members did give me a bit of an unwelcome insight into what Korean stiffness looks like when we get like that - more afraid of being wrong than considering what the other person may experience as coldness or stiffness, and as a consequence coming off as both rude and awkward. San has said he watched his grandparents be happily married and good friends to each oher, and how that affected his view on family. He knew to ask these old ladies, What are you working on? He asked them if they'd eaten and so on. When Jongho began to sing in his "I'm a Virtuouso Actually" way, San was the one that provided call-and-response back up so he wouldn't be singing into an uncomfortable silence. San is a LOVELY person.

And yet, for all that? After all of that? None of the old biddies chose him as her favorite! Oof! Poor showing, old ladies! And yet even this didn't phase him. He just was sad about it aloud, and then got over it.

The final kicker though, the thing that sealed my love for him forever, was that after the old ladies left because they had done their bit, filming was supposed to wrap. But San sat himself back down and despite the staff telling him, You're finished for the day, he said, But weren't they actually working on the peppers? We're just going to leave it for them? They can't do all this by themselves! We have to help. And because he was so adamant, all these other Ateez boys, who I would hazard would never actually do this work of pepper prep at home or anywhere, all sat down next to him and finished the work for the old ladies. Because San said so.

[moonlitenvyillust]

Ithacan Royal Family headcannons because I have free will

•] I have a feeling Penelope, Telemachus and Odysseus would all be light sleepers. But for different reasons

Ody because of the war and you know what happened in the sea

Pene because of the suitors yes, but because they are loud as fuck

And tele being so anxious he can't sleep idly

•] ody trauma response is freeze. Pene is fight, tele is fly

•] animal kingdom nicknames include: ody being owlet, tele being little wolf, and pene as an eagle (idek)

•] ody is a bi mess. Pene is Pene. And tele is a raging bisexual gender bender

•] tele and ody Bond over SA survivor trauma

•] pene and ody had palace shaking sex for three days straight even after the extended night ended and tele went off on another diplomatic mission to clear his mind (read: go to his lover. Choose who)

•] all three of the family members has been virgins until marriage. No I do not count being r-worded as virginity loss. Fuck you

•] Ody has horrible sense of fashion. You can see him in purple pants in modern AU. And then there's Penelope "local fashonista" of Ithaca and Telemachus "asked to be a model (my modern AU)" of Ithaca

•] if any of them had addictions- oh who am I kidding? Odysseus refuses to take more than two cups of wine. Same for Penelope. Telemachus would not let himself drink more than half a cup but would take some weed and maybe some maladaptive daydreaming

•] Telemachus was 100% on something during little wolf. He was regressing during Legendary and We'll be fine. The real Telemachus is cold and calculating like his father, and yet still as gentle as Penelope

•] Penelope "master Weaver" Of Ithaca, Odysseus "Carved a bed from a living tree" Of Ithaca, and Telemachus "painted ten hyperrealistic portraitd of himself and his mom and soon a family portrait" Of Ithaca

•] Penelope is the embodiment of patient. Odysseus is the embodiment of "I just want my wife bro..." And tele is just your average maladaptive daydreamer

•] Telemachus is somehow just chilling with everyone. Odysseus is still struggling, but he's doing good. Penelope only meets people for social cues

•] Penelope of Sparta was 100% ready to murder the suitors herself. And then Ody shows up and when Tele was told to go and tell his mother, he went and helped his mother pamper herself to look fabulous

•] about the modern AU thing, I was thinking Ody may or may not be a navy captain, hence the left for war thingy he's also a really important one, so yeah. Popular. Penelope is a really popular local cafe owner, and Telemachus was asked to be a model on a random Tuesday and ended up really well known somehow so now The family is just rich and popular ig Telemachus decided he can be a model as a side gig (it pays pretty well)

•] their issues include:

Odysseus now has abandonment issues and fear of leading. Also he's scared of the water now. And thunder. And refuses to eat beef/pork but will eat fish. He's scared of being touched by someone who he isn't sure who is. He has night terrors too! Sorry not sorry<3

Penelope is sleep deprived and now has insomnia after her fucked up sleep schedule because of the shroud bluff. She is now unable to stay asleep for long.

Telemachus is a touch starved, sleep deprived, average closet Emo, maladaptive daydreamer, with trust issues. He is scared of drinking more than one half cups of wine because... The suitors. And he's afraid of staying with a large group of loud men also because of the suitors

•] Ody is a bear hugger. Pene hugs back immediately. Tele tries to run at first but secretly craves the physical fatherly affection

•] remember that one meme that goes....

"Does it matter, who wins the argument?"

Penelope: "it matters, but what matters more is, fairness"

-argues fairly

-the voice of reason™

-knows when to use her words

Telemachus: "it doesn't matter, what matters is, who the fuck are you to start an argument with me?"

-can and will roast you, if he knows what you are, you're so over

-are you even on his standards of "decent debate opponent" Or are you just a practice dummy/entertainment?

-sunshine boy who? This is "hanged twelve maids" Telemachus speaking.

Odysseus: raises eyebrows "...?"

-has yet to loose a single argument (except with crew, unfair)

-pet liar of Athena goddess of wisdom, has fooled her too

-he's just- you know

•] all hail King Odysseus "I tried to stab my male crush during the war" Of Ithaca. and next in line to the throne, Telemachus "fuck a fight with a suitor was my masochist awakening" Or "gender? What gender?" The heir Of Ithaca.

•] modern AU Telemachus has killed a man. Penelope and Odysseus doesn't know. He is not sorry

•] Penelope is good at hiding her feelings through seriousness. Odysseus is the greatest liar in history. Fooled hundreds of King's of what he truly thinks or feels. While Telemachus has some kind of switch in his head that goes from "sunshine boy" To "Emo kid" To "over observer" To "hanged twelve maids in a day. Will do it again" And it's somehow, all the real him.

•] Hermes gave Telemachus a gun and told him to only use it during dire situations. Telemachus shot it at Antinous's eye. That's why he only has one now (idk how he survived he just did)

•] in my modern AU, their last name is Laertedes. And Penelope, before marrying in, her name is Penelope Icarius.