#she just doesnt get me at all which is such a teenager thing to say but it’s true

[fagrackham]

happy to be home bc of my dogs and free food and comfort and my hometown i love so much but its always nice to be reminded that i just CANNOT live with my mother

[gyusrose]

➵ you’re so vain -> l.hs

⚠︎ smut (mdni)

✎ jock!heeseung x reader, enemies to ?????, heeseung is rlly annoying, hate sex ;), hair pulling, dirty talk, unprotected sex, degradation, backshots lmao. i think that’s it?

summary: attending a new school was supposed to be a fresh start for you, trying to be nice to everyone and have new friends, yet coming across lee heeseung threw all of that out the window.

(heeseung x fem.reader)

wc: 3.2k

your sweaty hands could not be gripping the steering wheel any harder. you wouldn’t call yourself “super shy” but when it comes to a whole new community of people, teenagers, hell yeah you are.

you had to move exactly at the middle of the year due to your mom’s work. they offered her double the salary at the other side of the city, who was she to say no to that? although you were going to miss your friends and the overall environment of your old home, you couldn’t just tell your mom ‘no’, either way her decisions are final.

you just got here two days ago, and to be honest, it wasn’t that bad. the worst thing so far is the fact that the nearest shopping center was 30 minutes away but you’ll live.

you didn’t except your first day of school to be so nerve-wracking. surely you’ll make some friends but who knows what people are like here. eventually, you saw the big navy blue sign with your school’s name on it. it was an averagely big school, bigger than your old one, which also meant more people.

the parking space alone was scary. it was huge yet already full even though it was still fairly early. you went around in circles around the parking lot, trying to find a vacant spot. fortunately you did at the second-to-last line.

as you tried to park, the limited space you had made it difficult to, having to back up and drive in constantly. as you reversed your car, you must have completely forgotten that you aren’t the only one there, feeling a small crash at the bumper of your car.

your eyes widened in panic. you looked back to see what you hit, and with your luck, it revealed at very nice black car, to which you’ve just hit. you tried to quickly get into your parking spot, hoping it was nothing serious, but then someone came walking up to you.

‘shit, that must be the owner’ you saw his red, rather handsome, fuming face.

you got out of your car to confront the first person interaction.

“hey look im so-“

“CANT YOU FUCKING DRIVE RIGHT? YOU HIT MY VERY EXPENSIVE CAR WITH YOUR THING, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?”

oh he was an asshole. you almost scoffed in his face. who does he think he is.

“it was accident that’s all, it was barely a scratch calm down man.”

“IT WAS DEFINITELY A SCRATCH LOOK AT IT! JUST BECAUSE YOU KEEP YOUR CAR LOOKING ALL MISERABLE DOESNT MEAN I WILL, DO YOU EVEN HAVE A LICENSE?”

lord take me back. you were so close to just leaving him there arguing with himself. but you didn’t want to make him even angrier.

“look im sorry! i can pay for the fix up if that’s what you want, i dont know what else to do?”

the boy scoffed and rolled his eyes at your statement.

“you think i don’t have the money for it? please, it shows you’re a newbie around here.”

“i didn’t mean it like that-“

“yo heeseung!! come on bro!” another blonde boy called from afar, hopefully ending the argument y’all were having.

“ watch your back new girl.” with one last glare, he left to join his group of friends.

you rolled your eyes. shiver my fucking timbers, you thought.

you took a deep breath before grabbing your backpack and making your way into school , hoping to never see his face ever again.

>>

you thought that was going to be the end of it all. but oh boy were you wrong. soon you found out that heeseung is the captain of the football team, and pretty much the most popular boy in school. as cliche as it sounds, every girl would drop their panties if he asked them to.

people know he’s not the nicest person ( an asshole) yet they still look up to him. that’s angered you. how are all these people so dumb? just because he’s kinda good-looking? seriously?

over the course of a few weeks, you’ve managed to make some friends, your closest taehyun and Isa. although you tried to block the negativity, heeseung made it really hard. always giving you snarky comments when he saw you around, ridiculing you in front of other people. somehow always finding a way to run into you despite not having any classes together. except gym.

“ bro open your eyes, catch the damn ball!” he yelled from across from you.

you hated sports. even less could you play one, but you gotta do it for the grade.

“the ball was too high up dummy!” you retorted, rolling your eyes for maybe the 100th time in the class period.

if you hated gym before, you definitely hated it more now.

as the period ended, you decided to take a quick shower in the locker rooms since you couldn’t handle being all sweaty and gross throughout the day.

heeseung finished changing and was outside the locker room with his friends, chatting, waiting for the bell to ring. that’s when he may have accidentally eavesdropped the conversation between your two friends, he could barely the names of.

“where’s _____?” taehyun asked isa, noticing how you weren’t with her.

“she’s taking a shower right now, she told us to not wait for her.” Isa shrugged before taehyun nodded.

a beautiful idea popped in heeseung’s brain. it was too good.

he excused himself and sneakily waited by the girl’s locker room, waiting for everyone to come out. once he only heard the shower you were using running, he quietly entered the room. the bell had rang about a minute ago, so the gym was empty, only you and him. the gym teacher god knows where.

he saw his target and rapidly grabbed the pile of clothes sitting on the bench, a smirk evident in his face.

suddenly the shower stopped running, making heeseung hurry and exit the locker room.

the shower felt too good, you think you spent more time that you anticipated to. as you exited the shower tiles, you looked around for your clothes, which you remember clearly leaving them in the bench closest to the shower. you looked around the whole locker room, hoping you were wrong and placed them elsewhere. unfortunately, you couldn’t even find your damn socks.

your biggest fear has come true. you’re now naked, nothing but a towel covering you, this was more than just humiliating. you felt sad, mad, angry, embarrassed all at once. they’ve been stolen for sure, and you were more than sure on who did it.

grabbing your phone you called Isa, to see if she could help you somehow. and she indeed did. bringing you some spare clothes she had. thankfully, you always bring extra underwear since situations like these could happen. you just had to wait for isa for the clothes, yet the five minutes she took felt like five hours. unfortunately, passing period is over, meaning some students are coming in the locker room to change.

many of them just straight up stared at you. giving you weird looks as to why you were pretty much naked in the middle of the locker room, but none had the guts to ask you.

you wished the ground would just swallow you whole. lee heeseung won’t hear the end of it.

“LEE HEESEUNG!” you yelled across the field. he and his friends were siting down eating lunch outside when you spotted him after trying to find him after the stunt he just pulled.

heeseung knew it was coming, giggling with his friends as they heard you yell his name once again. “ oh she’s about to scold me now .” heeseung scoffed but still got up and went over to you.

“yes ma’am?” he said with a smile, you wish you could slap off but you’re better than that.

“YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID DO YOU KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING THAT WAS?”

“i have no idea what you’re talking about..” heeseung tried acting innocent but failed as he just burst out laughing. you groaned, how on earth is that funny?

“cute panties by the way” he continued to laugh, not sparing a glance at your mad expression on your face.

“you’re such an ass, i hate your guts.” you said leaving him alone, laughing to himself.

“yo bro i think she actually got mad this time.” his friend, jake came over.

heeseung shrugged. “she’s so sensitive, it wasn’t even that bad.”

“i can’t believe he did that…” taehyun said as you told them both what had happened. Isa knew a little bit but not who did it.

“that’s fucked up, what’s he got against you so much?”

you shrugged. “i guess because i gave his car a little scratch, but i guess he took it to heart since he hasn’t stopped bothering me since. he’s a jerk.”

“finally someone who thinks the same as me!” taehyun said making you chuckle.

“then get back at him! you know the one thing that makes him who he is is that damn football.” Isa said.

you tried to be the bigger person this whole time, not paying much mind to his little remarks or pranks he pulls, biting back a little wouldn’t hurt right?

“you know what, you’re right.”

“lee heeseung, mrs. park wants to speak to you.” mr.jung said calling heeseung.

heeseung who was barely paying attention heard his name. his frowned at this. what on earth could she want to talk about with him? either way, he went to her classroom.

he entered the empty classroom to find his coach and mrs.park, waiting for him. what the fuck? heeseung was more confused now. maybe they were going to congratulate him for the good work this semester? his coach’s face said otherwise though.

“there you are, you may be wondering why you’re here..” mrs.park started. heeseung nodded, feeling uneasy.

“a student came forward, showing how you copied word for word her whole assignment, the one i assigned a week ago. i didn’t notice it at first but it’s very clear now, you may know how cheating is unacceptable in my class, i’ve decided to fail you in this assignment, plus you’ll be serving detention this whole week..” she turned to the coach.

heeseung’s heart started beating at a rapid pace, he’s never been caught cheating, and being failed on the assignment that was a big part of his grade, it means he’s most likely failing the class now. the rules for football stated that all players should be passing all of their classes if not, they’ll be dropped….

no no no, the lee heeseung can’t be dropped. he’s the captain! the star player!

“since you’re failing this class heeseung, i think you know what’s about to happe-“

“please coach! don’t kick me out, i’m the captain! what would the team do without me? i’ll get my grade up as soon as possible im-“

“calm down calm down, i’m not going to kick you out, it’s the middle of the season, but unfortunately you won’t be playing the next three games. if your grade is not up by then, then i will drop you. understood?” his coach stated earning a sharp nod by heeseung.

he’s glad he’s still on the team but what’s the point if he can’t play? he’s going to become a joke. the captain that’s a bench warmer. how stupid.

he left the classroom enraged. he knows exactly who did this.

“bro what? what do you mean you ain’t gonna play ?” riki said in disbelief at what his captain just said.

“some snitch told mrs.park that i cheated on the last assignment and coach suspended me for the next three games, and i got detention all week!” sunghoon unknowingly chuckled. heeseung looked at him with a glare.

“what? she got you good, what did you expect hee?” sunghoon kept laughing, making some of the others also laugh silently.

heeseung had nothing to say back, he just rolled his eyes. “tch, whatever.”

nevertheless, you were overjoyed seeing heeseung slouching on the bench. you couldn’t miss this once in a lifetime scenario. obviously you were the cause for it. heeseung asks Isa almost all the time for her notes or to straight up copy her. she willingly let you rat him out after what he did to you.

he can sense how all eyes were on him, but he just tried to block everyone out a focus on the game. he had a poker face on, but deep inside he was irritated . he saw how you were smirking and laughing with your two little friends. you knew what you were doing.

>>

“ahh look who it is, the benchwarmer! “ you said chuckling as you made your way to heeseung.

after the team (barely) won, jake threw an ‘after party’ at his house. even though you don’t normally go to these parties, especially from those boys, you felt like a party would do good with your marvellous mood. something about seeing heeseung’s frowny face made feel over the moon.

“seems like cat got your tongue now huh? dont have anything to say-“

in a blink of an eye you were pulled into a room, heeseung’s fingers wrapped around your neck, pulling your face closer to his.

“what the fuck? heeseung-“

“shut the fuck up.” his hoarse voice caught you off guard. he was actually really mad.

“you think what you did it’s fucking funny? huh? almost getting me kicked out ? “ you’ve never seen him this enraged before. making you almost scared, yet….kinda turned on? no, you hate him, snap out of it! you told yourself yet the wetness in between your legs became hard to ignore.

you didn’t respond. “fuck, you’re so annoying, i can’t fucking stand you. i hate you.” he saw lowly. fuck that was hot.

you spoke before thinking. “then show me.”

not needing to tell him twice, heeseung pulled you completely in. your lips met in a kiss that was anything but gentle, a fierce and consuming clash that spoke longing and raw need.

The kiss deepened, fueled by an unspoken urgency, their mouths exploring each other with a fervor that left y’all breathless. his grip on your neck becoming tighter.

“shit im gonna show you to fucking behave.” he said before pushing you into the bed forcefully. you may have discovered a new kink of yours. watching as he undressed himself and yourself rapidly. feeling his anger through every touch he gave you.

he rubbed through your folds before inserting two fingers aggressively. your body jolted at the sudden move.

“holy shit go softer dumbass.”

“aw you think i give a fuck? suck it up and take it since you think you’re all that.” his fingers pumped faster and faster making it hard for you to answer back to his stupid remarks.

“oh my god..” you tried to pull his hand away before you cum. not wanting to see you orgasm so easily yet.

“just fuck me already heeseung, or is your dick as tiny as your brain?”

heeseung looked darkly at you. that stupid mouth of yours can’t shut up will it?

he retracted his fingers put of you and took his boxers off. wanting nothing more than to prove you wrong.

shit. your eyes went wide at what stood in front of you. saying he was big was an understatement. it was like a zipper for your mouth. how was that thing going to fit inside of you?

“can’t say anything now, can you slut?” he pulled your legs down the mattress to have you at the perfect angle to ram into you.

heeseung ran his til over your folds, teasing his way in. making you aggrevated.

“just put it in for fucks sake!”

“tell me how bad you want it.” you shook your head, no way were you going to beg. no way.

“alright then, i guess im gonna go.” he said letting go of your waist, acting as if he was going to leave.

“okay okay! please fuck me, i want it so bad, i want your big cock so bad heeseung.” heeseung moaned at your words. he didn’t wait any longer and thrusted all of him in you.

you both moaned yet it was more painful for you. you’ve never had something so big inside you before.

“fuck yeah..” he said then grabbing your neck, slightly choking you. your hands went to his biceps, trying to find something to hold on to as the speed he was thrusting in became more hostile.

“fuck me harder, like the asshole you are.” you said in between breaths. heeseung took the challenge and thrusted violently. the skin slapping and wetness of your core could probably be heard in the party outside.

“of course a whore like you would like to be fucked like this.”

before you could respond he pulled out of you earning a desperate groan from you, but then your were flipped, now on all fours and before you knew it he was back in you again. gripping your hip with one hand while he pulled your hair on the other.

“such a tight pussy, you probably fantasized about this am i right?” he said in your ear. you shook your head through your moan.

“in your dreams lee, in your fucking dreams. fuck you.”

“i’m quite literally doing that.” chuckling, he let go of your hair and instead gripped your other hip, going in deeper, nudging your cervix literally driving you to an edge.

“fuck i’m cumming.” you cried out. never has an orgasm felt like this. heeseung was on edge as well, feeling you clench around his dick did it for him.

your climax rose over you, making you fall into the pillow while heeseung kept thrusting until his own organs came over him, pulling out and releasing his white ropes all over your back.

tiredly, he laid besides you in the strangers bed, not knowing what to say now.

you turned to him, smirking. “i think i may hate you even more now.”

[caputvulpinum]

imagine you're born and your parents love you but youre born wrong. not anyones fault. sometimes it happens. except it doesnt matter whose fault it is, you were born wrong, and your parents love you but the world hates and fears you. even as a child. you grow up in this world which sees you as disgusting and evil and a bad omen and you have no one around who can tell you otherwise in any meaningful way. your parents try and help but they cant imagine the things you're going through. you're like a deep-sea fish to them. completely foreign. utterly alien.

this whole world wants you dead and so you say, fine, if i can never be seen as anything but evil then i will choose to embrace it rather than fight it. except you're just a teenager. and you aren't evil. so what you end up doing is hating yourself for being evil (you aren't) and anyway you're terrified that the world wants you and everyone like you dead so you begin finding some comfort in the dead. you learn necromancy both as armor and weapon. finally you feel like you aren't powerless but you're still so lonely.

so your parents couldnt help but youve heard so many stories and legends of your grandmother who also knows magic and you hope beyond hope that maybe if you go to her she can understand you and help you except you meet her and she's angry and mean and grumbling about how her son raised you badly. the only times you hear her praise you is when you discover that despite all your wishes, you are actually extremely good at separating men's ghosts from their bodies. you kill people well and get praised for it and nobody seems to notice or maybe not care that you aren't exactly okay with this and aren't doing well.

rephrase: one guy notices. and he is the nicest guy you have ever met. perhaps even the nicest guy on the whole planet. just the most terrifyingly nicest guy. and he keeps calling you his friend and being nice to you and you're cringing away from him like a dog thats been hit too many times because there is no way that this is actually who he is. real people don't act like he does. real people aren't always nice like he is. it's a trick and you won't fall for it, and anyway, even if he is actually this nice, you don't know how to deal with that even a little bit because if people like him exist then where were they? where were they when you were a child, where were they when you were a teenager? nice things don't get to happen to people like you. you aren't going to fall for it, because if people could be really as nice as you, they would have come before you were this badly wounded. how dare you come to me when i am this and all.

anyway then you try to save a nine year old who was born wrong like you from an adult tormenting and torturing her. and you fail and the nine year old dies and after going through shock you raise her corpse to speak with it and you just confirm to yourself that yeah. yeah, no, you don't get to have nice things. you're only good at one thing and it's death, not life. because if you're good at anything other than death then that just means you werent good enough at life when it actually mattered most.

anyway this was session one for my new bg3 boy and oh boy its all going downhill in the most luscious of ways!

[lokativa]

People calling Hobie×Miles (punkflower) shippers proshippers as if we didn't ship them for longer than the movie even came out will always be crazy to me.

I've seen lots of people sending threats, or reporting people because they made punkflower, goldenflower (pavxhobie), ghostbyte (gwenxmargo), flowerbyte (margoxmiles), etc, arts or videos. Going to assume that it isn't because most of these ships are POCs ships, there's just literally no point to do that.

First of all, there's no confirmation of hobie's age. If ur basing urself of that one interview, then it was of the CONCEPT of hobie, and even so remember it was only one person who said it. Its heavily implied thats he's a teenager throughout the movie. (Also in the art book, its said that he's slightly older than Miles).

For the thing about him going to the pub and all, minors can and will go in pubs, (not saying that its always legal) are yall living under a rock or just dense on purpose? Teenagers do wtv the fuck they want, even when theyre not allowed to. Youre all going to tell me teenagers respect the rules of not drinking and go to clubs becuz theyre underage? Come off it. Also hobie literally merked his president and u think he'd draw the line at drinking alcohol as a minor? HA.

Aside from that, to be fair to everyone, the directors keeps on changing what they're saying about hobies age, one day they'll say and imply he's a minor and the next second say he's an adult. It's like they all have different idea of this character's age. So, nothing is really comfimed, and his age is really up to interpretation.

Now that we're past THAT point, the other kind of people talking about his age are people saying "oh but he looks old" "that man is most definitely 30yo" "there's no way he's underage" things of the sort, u get it. And I'm just over here like??? Why is it impossible for you to think that this guy could be a teen? Is it the air? The wrinkles? What makes it seem like for you that there's no way he could be around the other teens' age? And 30??? Cmon. People often assume black people are older than they look, which is a universal experience for all of us. Did none of u ever see a blk teen who doesnt have a baby face? Because thats literally what hobie looks like to me. To others we can seem too "mature" for our age, or just look too "old" to be the age we say we are, so is it really impossible for him to be a teenager? Think about it.

(Speaking of him being black, this discourse turned into some kind of racist thing that honestly was not unexpected at all. Yall come over here shitting on people talking and educating u about a character they relate to cuz hes like them, and the representation is making them go bonkers. I don't know why yall can just sit ur arses and listen for a bit, its not that difficult tbh. And dont get me started on the mischaracterisation of his character. Marking him as "an angry black man"? Really? Be. Fucking. Original.)

Same goes with Margo?? Yeah in the comics she's in college, but cmon now u guys know damn well she's a teenager in atsv😭. Gwen is also much older in the comics but i never see anyone talk about it, so what does that mean???The only reasons I can see that you all don't want Miles & margo to be together is because you're all stuck on the milesxgwen ship. News everyone, other ships exist, not everyone is going to like the same ships as you, so either move on or stop being on the Internet.

Also, the thing about pav being 13 is bonkers, where'd u even get that from? I need to know asap. "Oh, but he has a gf!" Yeah? Well he has two hands. (Idk why u all act as if that has ever stopped anyone)

Everything just seem like a race thing to me tbh.

The movies might be inspired from the comics, but not everything is going to be 100% the same. For exemple: gwen is 2 yrs older than Miles in the comics, but in movies she's only 15 months older, Jess Drew is white in the comics and black in the movie, Miguel O'hara is white passing in the comics, compared to his version in atsv where he has brown skin, lyla's disign is also different.

You get it? Things are going to differ as much as things are going to be the same, because (get ready!!) this is the multiverse! Just as earth-616 is just one universe in all the marvel comics, atsv is another universe.

All in all, im not saying u can't view them as adults, or wtv u want, thats ur interpretation, but don't go around being pissy at people around u cuz they have different point of views.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wanting to play DnD with a teenager?

So I (22F) am in college and after classes I like to play DnD with four of my friends, Ricky (21M), Tara (21F) Lola (22F) and Julie (20F)

Well recently Tara's little sister Ashley (15F) has been hanging out at Tara's apartment, where we usually have our game sessions, after school. Like for about two weeks now. Tara says its because her mother got a new job and doesnt get off work until 7pm so Ashley stays at the apartment from 4pm till about 7:30pm when her mother comes to pick her up.

4 pm is when our game sessions start most of the time (depending on if any of us have night classes that day or not) which means we now have a literal child watching us play. And because of that Tara has asked that we tone down the game sessions to be more "appropriate" and we also cant get drunk until Ashley leaves (which is stupid because Julie is under 21 and we can drink around her just fine but whatever) frankly I didnt mind the constant audience since Ashley was far more interested in watching us play than watching TV or playing on Tara's switch.

Well apparently just watching wasnt good enough for the brat because when i got to Tara's apartment for a game, Ashley was sitting at our table, excitedly filling out a character sheet while chattering nonstop with Ricky and Lola (Julie wasn't coming this time she had the stomach flu)

I naturally asked what she was doing because she normally just watched. Ashley gave me a confused look and said that she was joining our game like we had apparently talked about in our groupchat the night prior. Ricky and Lola both backed her up and showed the groupchat.

I had seen the messages but I thought Tara was joking about adding a literal child that doesnt even have a learners permit to our game that we had been continuing for three months now. I naturally went to go confront Tara.

She said that I agreed to let Ashley join in and if I didn't want to play with her I could've just not come.

Is she fucking serious?

What kind of sane person would want to play with a literal child and its edgy as fuck character (like the character was a wolf necromancer dressed in all black with two random scars across its chest. You could smell the hot topic radiating from this cringefest)

Tara refused to listen to reason and instead insisted that Ashley can play just for tonight and if i didnt like it I could leave.

I had no choice to stay and play

It was so fucking miserable.

The brat was constantly making stupid mistakes and dragging the whole party down with her. We constantly had to stop so Ricky (our DM) could explain things that should've been obvious because Ashley was too stupid to actually figure it out. My character was having to bail her's out near constantly. It was getting to the point where I just wanted to legitimately slap Ashley. I didnt because Tara would absolutely murder me but oh the temptation was strong.

And the worst part? I was the only one who seemed to be upset that our game was being completely thrown off course. Ricky, Lola and Tara took all of Ashley's many many fuck ups in stride and actually seemed to be enjoying it.

I have no idea why, that game was a train wreck

After an hour of hell Ricky called it quits for the day.

Which was weird because we usually go well into the night most of the time. Once the game was over Tara grabbed me by the arm and led me to the kitchen.

She asked me what the hell my problem was because it was apparently MY fault the game went so poorly and not the literal child's.

So I let her have it.

I told her it was a stupid idea to let her dumbass sister play with us, that Ashley shouldnt be playing with adults and its stupid to expect us to bow to the whims of a fifteen year old. I told her I never wanted to play with stupid bitch ass of a sister ever again.

I left the apartment after that.

This morning I was removed from the groupchat and all my friends have blocked me

Except for Lola, who has been going off on me in dms all day, calling me a horrible person, transphobic, a bully and a bitch. Every name in the book. None of them are talking to me and Julie, who wasn't even there keeps calling me an asshole and says i should apologize

AITA? I dont think i did anything wrong but everyone else thinks I did

What are these acronyms?

[elsa-fogen]

hi ! i have a question, i was wondering something when it comes to your 'breakfast au'. ive read through a lot of this, and ive seen you and multiple other people state velvette "deserves" this? that just confused me in general, because out of all the people in the show, velvette probably has done the least amount of bad things. so how would she deserve this? i saw a few people saying its because of the love potion thing she collaborated with valentino on, but i dont really think thats a valid point. given it states in the wiki that its unconfirmed what that actually was. (ill send an image of where it says this.) it couldve been anything. and given velvettes line of work, (fashion, social media) id assume itd be some sort of perfume made to be taken orally. like perhaps a pheromone perfume which ive seen is commonly promoted by influencers, or just these types of people in general.

the next point i saw was somebody saying shes a narcissist? which, she really isnt. if you do any research on npd you could see that. velvette is shown to be confident, maybe even egotistical. she acts like a confident teenager would. she doesnt have npd.

ive seen people say she deserves this type of thing because shes friends with the vees..? which honestly would make no sense. so far in the show, shes shown to only really speak to vox. (which isnt bad, given vox hasnt exactly done anything big and bad like say alastor or valentino, or hell, even sir pentious' crimes.) everytime shes really talked about valentino, its been in a bad way. shes shown to not like him. so its not like those two are best friends or even anything more than business associates from what ive seen??

anywho, i was just a bit confused. i was also a bit confused on alastors behavior aswell. while yes, hes a horrible person, yes he eats people, YES he would do something like this; he has no reason to with velvette. he gains nothing from this. so whats the point of him doing it?? its not to spite vox, given alastor is shown in the show, not to give too fucks about vox 😭

I personally said that she deserved it only to spite that hater, i should've clarify that 😅

Alastor gets to mess with Vox and to make HIM suffer from screams (Valentino comes as a bonus). He GIVEs fucks about Vox tho, maybe not as much as the said TV man, but still. He spills the tea about Vox asking him to join the Vees, and does so clearly to humiliate him. The way he tells about it implies that. so he WOULD spite Vox if he had a chance that wouldn't take too much effort.

but still, Velvette isn't innocent. she's in hell and it has to be for a reason. she joined the Vees which indicates that she supports their activities. Velvette had no problem with Val killing her models except that it causes troubles to her show.

about Vox, he's also fucked up. And maybe he isn't killing people left ang right, he does many bad things, like hypnotizing people, stalkering and so on. He supports Valentino's attitude too. He knows what Val does to Angel and doesn't give a fuck.

Problem here is that you only count things shown on screen. While characters have life outside of it. And for now we've seen only Val being a horrible person. Bonus points that he's being mean to the chracter we know and love. Other Vees didn't get the time to show their fuckedupness. I know for a fact that in season 2 we'll get at least Vox' fucked up side. and, hopefully, Velvette's too, and people will finally stop thinking that they're poor little meow meows that ended up under bad Valentino's influence.

Also, as i was saying in the first post about this AU - Velvette really shouldn't have said that the can eat other overlords for breakfast (au namedrop!!!) in front if 2 real cannibals. They took that personal.

[goomyloid]

PLEASE explain your thoughts on kriselle in full detail

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 100% UNPROMPTED ASK! I SHALL EXPLAIN

i hate toby fox. why did he do this to us. he really put it better than anyone else. not really romantic not really platonic but…. something else… some secret more sinister more heartfelt more absurd third thing

i wonder at what point should i clarify that i dont even really seek out kriselle in a romantic context… DONT GET ME WRONG i have zero issues with the ship whatsoever and all of the krisellers out there are living their best (most painful) lives and i SEE THE APPEAL. BUT when i rotate them in my brain i dont need them to kiss or anything like that i just need them to sit down and sadly hold hands and stay like that forever and ever. in case you couldnt gauge that from my art so far

tldr i dont think i ship them in the traditional sense at least …. the things that i usually fixate on for any romantic ship are not there with these two. there are no romantic feelings there In my mind. and all at the same time i start screaming and throwing up and killing myself (all positive) whenever i see them even in the same image together. hngh

ive tried explaining this to people before and they usually suggest something along the lines of a QPR and even that doesnt feel right to me. truly the best way i can put it is… that red string of fate man… which i almost hesitate on saying too because i dont actually know if noelle is Quite an important enough character to the story to warrant a connection like that. WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY. I KNOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING ME WRONG i think dess and her connections to gaster and her usage as a stepping stone into the weird route are all VERY important… but in my brain its just not kris/knight/asriel/every other mysterious main focus of the story Important. i didnt mean to get into deltarune theorizing here i hope nobody’s blood is boiling rn

so yeah in the end. toby fox once again put it best. they are friends, but they are also something else.

back to the actual pairing though… sometimes i think im going overboard and overestimating how close kris and noelle were as children because noelle will go and say things like “i wonder if we were ever really friends at all.” which is kind of a fair statement considering the circumstances. sure they played together and all and tagged along with their siblings to do stuff together but when dess went missing… it all kind of stopped. kris is just a kid, they dont know what to do or even how to process it, much like noelle. asriel is probably dealing with his own feelings, he just lost his friend and likely old enough to understand the weight of what happened. while noelle and kris cant say much to each other at all.

im always back and forth on speaking headcanons for kris but the one that i always seem to come back to is selective mutism… to me kris had a lot of trouble communicating well as a child and could only grow comfortable around certain people, asriel and noelle being clear examples because they’re both so patient with them. maybe because of this noelle felt like they could understand each other without really needing words, and just physical interaction was enough to achieve some form of closeness… or maybe that was all just on her end, she thinks when kris goes to play the piano. but if that’s the case, why does it feel like a concert just for her…?

jesus dont even get me start on them as teenagers either. noelle has lost her sister, and now kris has lost their brother… but not in the same way. they look at each other and wonder if they’re the same now. or, maybe thats too cruel. maybe its not the same thing at all. asriel’s coming back soon, after all. it will all be over soon, kris won’t have to feel this way for much longer, right? so then, why does kris look so miserable, sitting in the corner over there? all noelle feels like she can do is sit next to them quietly. to be there, and to somehow, vaguely, messily help each other. the misfit kids that dont really know how to talk to each other and yet understand each other regardless

thats why the dark world feels like such a dream to her. these crazy city lights, fantastical creatures, susie’s there, and she actually might have the means to defend herself and stand her ground, whether it be verbally or… otherwise

and most of all, much like with kris offering an adventurous haven to susie in ch1, the same is extended to noelle. by kris’s side, no less. it feels like theyre doing things together again, and its fun, and nostalgic… she wants to bring dess. and i think its okay to assume kris wants to bring asriel, too. recreating the make-believe world they lost so long ago… is it really possible?

no… how can it really be possible, when this isnt kris? something is wrong. its almost perfect, except kris… it’s them, but it’s not. she sees their face, their expressions, their laughs, their worries. and yet the voice that comes from them… isnt them. and it scares her! even if nothing particularly bad happened as a result. and if something bad DID happen, well…

she just wants what they had before back. is it really so impossible? can they reconcile after all these years? does kris want to? is kris capable of doing so? maybe they just need to hug again. will it feel like a real hug? the person she thought she understood is acting in ways she doesnt understand. they’re telling her to do weird things. they cycle through actions as if they just want to know what happens. and they cant even play piano anymore.

[megamuscle885-blog]

I'm fricken stupid as hell having these kinds of revelations days after the fact, but I read a character analysis on Alec that tapped into the reason his power is the way it is; that it takes 15 min to an hour to act, can only control a max of 4 at a time and that his nerve map memory imprint thing or whatever that lets him resume control instantly is basically permanent, and how all of that was because he's the kind of Master who only needs a small group to stand up for him and protect him (the other members of his family/HB's cult) vs someone like Taylor's Master power where she needed minions that could be found everywhere, which could watch everything and attack from every direction. Alec needing members of his family to physically act in his defense (rather than feel emotions for him or have his mind take over theirs) but getting an ability to force them to do so. <- All of this covered by the post, just bringing it up to give context to my thought;

DOESN'T THIS RECONTEXTUALIZE AISHA WILLINGLY GIVING HERSELF OVER TO HIM?!

All his minions during his warlord arc are probably paid for, or weren't aware that being around him 24/7 meant he could hijack their nerves.

But here comes Aisha and she's like "I want you to take over my body." and I was initially thinking ooh it's just a parahuman version of sexual experimentation, teenagers do that, I get it, I won't pretend it doesn't happen but DOESNT THIS MEAN SHE BASICALLY ASKED HIM TO GIVE HER HIS TRUST? Like, all he needed to not trigger was probably someone in his family or the tight knit cult standing up to Heartbreaker (not going to happen) but still? And Aisha is coming along and saying "I'm that someone. I trust you. You can trust me. You're not your father, you won't abuse this, I'm giving you consent under the jokey teenager, not serious guise of fooling around with you wearing my skin."

Maybe that plays into why Aisha goes after Heartbreaker, why she adopts the Heartbroken and why she makes that her mission. To continue his legacy after his death, to be the kind of person the Heartbroken needed the way Alec needed someone. She does kinda do that with Taylor too, fucking up Nero later on, though beyond those two examples I kinda struggle to nail down where she's continued a loved one's legacy. Oh, except maybe where she helps Taylor in Brian's place during GM. That could work too.

I'm still figuring out how to Tumblr but if I find that post again I'll link it here in the replies.

[stevie-petey]

I have blurb idea for the kids in season one when you have time for it. In season one after bug left with Nancy and Jonathan the kids debriefing on what they just saw. Which is basically just the kids gossiping about what they think is going on between the three. Like Mike asked Nancy if she liked Jonathan now so clearly he saw something going on ya know?

anon i LOVE this one its always so fun writing the kids gossiping about the teens <333

enjoy !

"whats going on with your sister and jonathan, man?" lucas asks your brother as they watch you run out of the schools gym after jonathan and nancy.

dustin sighs and rests his head against the bleachers. "i dont know. theyve been weird all week."

"i think it has something to do with my sister?" mike joins in on the conversation now. "i asked nancy if she liked jonathan and then she got all weird."

"why would she like him if shes with harrington and y/n is with jonathan?" lucas frowns now, feeling suddenly defensive over you. "do we need to do something?"

mike hits his friend with the back of his head. "no, doofus. y/n doesnt need you to fight for her weird honor."

"well, i mean, maybe she does-"

dustin slaps a hand over lucas' mouth with a disgusted look on his face. "dude. your crush on my sister is showing and its gross."

lucas yanks dustins hand away and shrieks. "i do not have a crush on y/n!"

mike and dustin share a look with one another as el, who has been quiet this entire conversation as she rests, lets out a weak giggle. during her few days observing you with the party, its obvious even to her that lucas has a slight crush on you.

seeing everyones disbelief, lucas throws his hands up in the air and groans. "look, this isnt about me! clearly theres something wrong between jonathan and y/n, and if theyre fighting then that means we wont be able to get free rides out of them anymore."

"why wouldnt we get free rides if theyre fighting?" dustin asks, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"because jonathan has his own car and we'd be taking y/n's side," mike says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world with an eye roll. "duh."

your brother feels a certain happiness at the knowledge that his friends would take your side against jonathans. and, even though will isnt here right now, they all know that he would also ditch his brother in a heartbeat for you.

all the kids would.

youre a part of the party.

the boys eat the cookies that you made for them in silence for a while as they think about the strangeness between you and jonathan tonight. while theyre more than willing to defend you and take your side, they cant help but be worried about it.

theyve never seen you and jonathan so off kilter before, and it frightens them to even consider the idea that the connection between you two could be severed.

"theyll be okay, right?" lucas finally voices the worries that they all have quietly sat with.

dustin sighs, also unsure himself. hes grown up watching the two of you become intertwined with one another. now, he watches as you slowly unravel, and hes not sure how it will end. "its y/n and jonathan we're talking about. of course theyll be okay... they-they have to be okay."

"well thats depressing." mike says with yet another eye roll. "why cant we just keep y/n and replace jonathan with someone else?"

"careful, mike." lucas leans in close to the boy now and puckers his lips and makes kissing noises. "nancy could replace harrington with jonathan."

"yuck!" mike shoves his friend away and looks towards dustin for help. "that wont happen, right?"

dustin frowns. for once, he really isnt sure. he saw nancy and jonathan earlier, how they almost left you behind tonight, and he saw the hurt in your eyes when you watched them together. theres feelings there between the three of you, and dustin is afraid for you. its obvious to everyone how much you adore jonathan; your entire world revolves around the guy.

with a sigh, dustin shakes his head. "no idea, man. i dont understand teenagers."

"no one does." lucas rests his head in his hand and chews sadly on his cookie. then, with poorly hidden curiosity, he asks, "my crush on y/n isnt that obvious, right? like, she has no idea?"

mike and dustin again share a look and shake their heads at their friend while el lifts her head up. with all the energy she has left in her, she responds to lucas. "friends dont lie."

lucas covers his face in embarrassment and groans as mike, el, and dustin all break into laughter.

[sundalion]

Argh the Ahsoka series makes me so grgrgrggrr

Sabine learning to fight like a jedi is so frustrating to watch when you know for a fact she's been trained in using the dark saber!! There's LITERALLY an episode dedicated to her frustrations as a Mandalorian having the duty of the manda'lor and not knowing how to use a lightsaber!!

She finds the root of her frustrations and tries so hard to learn, AND SHE DOES! Erasing her history using a lightsaber, literally knowing the forms, is like erasing a part of her whole character development!! She's like an angry teenager in Ahsoka, which she obviously kinda was in Rebels BUT SHE ISNT ANYMORE she's a young adult who's experienced a lot and witnessed a war. She has experience and is acting like that's not true!

I'm not saying she should've won the fight against Shin, in fact that first fight should've just been choreographed very differently! Like you can make an epic fight with two inexperienced padawans without making it look,,, plain. Maybe take the actual forms and make Sabine and Shin go through them with fighting,, but make them balance wrong or swing too aggressive, make them both have a lot of openings in their defense and attack hits. Make them,, I dunno LOOK like they both know some jedi fighting stances and forms but, not be confident in their stance,, not do them quite correctly making them open to attacks.

It's just,,, the idea of the Ahsoka series is good, having someone find a clue to where Thrawn and Ezra is,, seeing the aftermath of Ezra's and Kanan's decisions,, how the loss has affected Sabine, but also the rest of the Spectre's. Having a chance to find Ezra with the consequences of Thrawn being found too.

It's a good concept it really is, and I did get hooked but it's small things like these (not small at all) that just,, ruins the experience.. like have the people who made, acted and directed this show even watched Rebels? Do they even know the characters? What really made them who they ended up being by the last season? Have they analyzed the characters and how they act, how they emote and how complex of actual people they are? Their backgrounds, their beliefs? LIKE ARGH THEY MIGHT HAVE BUT IT SURE DOESNT SEEM LIKE ITTT

Another ick is when Sabine cuts her hair and they act like she didn't have it short for most of her life 💥💥

[arthur-lesters-balls]

ok im about to start rambling like crazy because since yesterday i cant stop thinking about this fucking scene and how it just makes stsg's future fight worse better. this is a wonderful point to stop, and think about their breakup and how it was clearly motivated by a lot more than just a clash of ideals

to get started its really interesting to think about how gojo was the one who gave the idea of going against any rules and fighting the person at the foundation of the jujutsu society for riko. he was ready to risk everything for a single kid, to grant her the life she wanted. both he and geto knew, that if they chose this path, the consequences would be irreparable. even if they won against tengen, it meant the barriers would be totally fucked up and they would likely become fugitives, but that was alright! as long as they gave riko the opportunity to be a child! to be happy! even tho they were also just teenagers themselves and its clear that this being a kickoff to turn their lives upside down sounds so similar to what happened to geto, and its why his deflection and all the lack of communication around it are even more depressing. the thing is: i cant imagine a world where gojo, knowing about mimiko and nanako, would disagree with getos attitude. even if you dont take into consideration how gojo was ready to kill the whole star cult after riko died, it just doesnt goes with what we saw of him until that point (and from that point onward too) some people disagree with this, because it goes in favor of the whole "gojo didnt had a moral compass of his own when he was a teenager" thing (which is totally wrong). to me, it doesnt. gojo had his own opinions, but he also seemed very aware of how this didnt mean he was ready for the nuances of every situation he could get caught on, and that was where talking to geto helped him. they had similar opinions, gojo felt safe being honest with him, and they were equals! who could be better to question his decisions, right? well, thats exactly why theres a whole plot line about geto looking gojo and feeling that they were no longer neck to neck when gojo goes after geto in shinjuku, its really unambiguous the fact that his goal was not to kill him, but to talk to him. gojo wanted to understand what was the meaning behind geto's actions. geto, who always made sure everything he did had a clear and well-thought motivation, would surely have an explanation for his choice. and in a certain way, he did, yes. i think its quite easy to see that gojo, who even ten years later was out there saying he would side with yuta in a fight, if the higher ups decided to kill him, would see at least a little bit of sense in the core of geto's choice if he just knew about it. but he didnt when geto decided that gojo would never understand him, he wasnt thinking about gojo disagreeing with the effectiveness of it, because geto himself knew it was a dumb idea. the heart of what he was doing, wasnt really to succeed, even tho he gives his best to make himself believe that he will. its all about choosing the murder spree he did in that village, and then doing a backward justification; its about hopelessly doing something, for the sake of doing something. if he were gojo, his plan wouldnt be stupid. if he were gojo, there wasnt any plan that would sound stupid. because gojo had the power to change the world if he set his heart on doing so, but geto didnt. what he could do was choose his path and give his best at staying at it, no matter how painful it was

[marunalu]

The leaks are real but something just feels off about the chapter itself. While we’ve seen in a previous flashback(forgot which one), that Overhaul was very likely to be one of the orphan children prior to joining the Yakuza, it’s just the overall flow of the chapter just makes it seem unsatisfying and resulting in plot holes. Like AFO considered training teenagers to be his double but it seems rather forced to ask Kotaro to have another child and Hana doesn’t seem to reached double digits. Or copying the Overhaul Quirk and making decay out of it would mean that Afo and Garaki could’ve fixed the former’s issues unless Touya destroyed it by accident. And then there’s the situation where technically, only Bakugo won while every other student didn’t achieve their goals(Shoto, Ochaco and Izuku) and that chapter 420 is going to match a certain someone’s birthday.

It actually would make sense though to have the side characters beat AFO but having the other fights not mentioned yet be done off screen is still unsatisfying.

We know that in real life, Hori has health issues due to working with Shonen Jump and having the Dragon Ball creator die last month is very likely to make things more somber. I’m not going to be surprised if he had someone else draw some pages(unless the change in artstyle somehow is a plot point).

Isn’t MHA Izuku’s retelling of the events to someone? Overhaul or Eri are likely to be the Macguffins to give Izuku his arms back given what we’ve seen with Eri earlier so we’re going to have some chapters of celebration of the “win” and a small epilogue.

At least we have fan fiction since it’s very likely that people will ignore the ending.

Yeah this chapter feels soooo off! And dont let me start talking about all the plot holes and how a single chapter managed to destroy over the years built up plotpoints. Like you said WHY would afo and garaki not use the overhaul copy on afo to heal him ESPICIALLY because afo told garaki once "then hurry up and fix me doctor" after garaki mentioned that they havent found a fitting regeneration quirk yet and you are telling me THEY WOULDNT USE THE OVERHAUL COPY TO ARCHIVE THAT??? It was made clear afo wanted to get back to full health but he doesnt use the quirk that could fix him in ONE MINUTE??? Or an other plot hole: afo somehow (dont show just tell) managed to convince the shimuras to have an other child because he considered hana to old to get manipulated DESPITE that he owns orphanages full of children older then or around hanas age even TEENAGE touya and chisaki he considered as fitting vessels if tomura shouldnt work out but HANA was to old??? This is literally retconning what was already confirmed as facts!

And about bakugou: well he is horis golden child so OF COURSE only he is allowed to win since his character is all about winning. And unlike izuku, ochako and shoto he had ZERO emotional connection to afo. No deep. No feelings. Just to give bakugoubitch a win by giving the bad guy the final killing blow, immediately praised for doing so as if afo wasnt already half dead and severly weakend by dotzens of other heroes before who did so much more but BAKUGOU gets the praise (to be fair he did say it was a group effort but he still was the one who was praised first as if he did it all alone)! The ironic thing is bakugou did exactly what he always does: winning by killing. How ironic. Just a few chapters before we got afos backstory which revealed he was a victim of society too but I guess simply killing these kind of people changes everything to the better. Their society will not change. There will just show up an other afo or tomura at one point. Bakugou was allowed to beat and kill the main villain he had no relationship with but izuku, ochako and shoto are not allowed to safe their villain counterparts they actually have a relationship with. I mean its very possible that toga is alive because she is nowhere to be found, but touya even if he survives made clear he will never forgive his family and most likely ending terrible disabled (except if deux ex machine eri will be used here as well) and izuku who FINALLY was able to reach tomura has to watch how he gets destroyed by afo. The leaks say afo completly destroyed tomuras mind so that means he is pretty much dead and only his body remains which is now in afos full control. No final confrontation between afo and yoichi. Nope yoichi is just gone and afo doesnt even look that pissed off about it.

There are fights completly left out. We dont really see any of the other students fight, we just get told they won. We dont see the confrontation between aizawa, mic and kurogiri and just need to accept they eventually reached him and if anything we will only get a small flashback of the events. Its so disappointing and lame. It feels like as if hori just wants to end the manga as fast as possible so he uses his beloved "tell dont show" way of writing.

About horis health issues. I get that. As a huge bleach fan I was so dissapointed how rushed the last arc of bleach was but I was able to understand why. Kubo had health issues too and was forced by shonen jump to end the manga in 10 chapters. No one was more pissed off about that but kubo and if he had been healthy bleach would have lasted at least for an other year. But with hori it feels different. It feels like as if he really just wants to end the whole thing because he lost his interest. The last few arcs have been not really well written. I dont know if akira toriyamas sudden death plays a role in this disaster of a chapter. I get that it was a shock for the manga world. I get that mangakas loved the guy. But maybe instead of rushing the plot and retconning already built plot points hori should just have taken a long break to get himself together if it really affected him that much AND to get rest. Toriyama still lives through his work and will inspire many new mangakas for the comming 50 years or more.

By the way Im not worried about izukus arms at all. Its obvious eri will get used as the deux ex machine to restore them. If its not her then overhaul but Im pretty positiv she will heal izuku. The thing is even if izuku gets finally his confrontation with afo its clear he will win and afo will die.... again. Wow, how creativ. The only thing I hope is that if dfo is canon then izuku will somehow reach afo to get at least a little bit of emotion in that fight and will convince him to let tomura go if there is still a chance to safe him. Im still to 100% sure dfo is canon by the way but I dont think it will have an statisfying outcome and will be rushed as hell.

All in all this was a very dissapointing outcome. I know the manga is not over yet so hori could still surprise us, but I dont have much hope left for a good and well written ending of the story. I really need to stop praising hori when he writes a REALLY good chapter like the one before, because everytime I do that the very next chapter is a pile of shit!

Sorry, if I sound so aggressive and harsh by the way, but this chapter really pissed me off. The ONLY thing I liked about it is the fact that its to 100% confirmed that afo can change his appearance which is a huge win for dfo. Also sorry for the rant and for possible gramatic errors but I wrote this whole thing in a hurry and most likely left a few dotzen things out that pissed me off. 😅

[iapislazuli]

nightheart, finchlight, and pre-verbal trauma

(sorry, i ramble a bit here lol)

im surprised i havent seen any discussion or analyses on nightheart / finchlight and pre-verbal trauma, since that's like, exactly what happened to them? (And nipping this in the bud right away no, I'm not saying this is Sparkpelt's fault btw, she was suffering from grief and PPD, and she made the best posible choice by having sorrelstripe foster her kits! for her situation, she was the best parent she could've been). but finch and night were so young, they couldn't understand what was happening. they were newborn kittens who couldnt see or hear, the only thing they knew was their mother's scent, and they got taken away from her, and thrust into a new space wholly unfamiliar to them with no warning. yes, it was for a good reason, and yes in the long run it likely benefitted their health physically. and yes, it was for a comparatively short amount of time, too. but them experiencing that at such a young age, having all they've ever known taken from them when they can't even open their eyes yet is, well, traumatic! young children experience the world so much differently than teenagers and adults. everything happening to them is basically happening for the first time. how did they knew sparkpelt would come back? they didn't! they had no way to understand the idea of PPD and grief. the effects of pre-verbal trauma sticks with you for life even if you can't remember it. this is such a huge misconception about child psychology it makes me crazy. a baby being so young it can't talk doesn't mean it doesnt have feelings!! and this leads to my next point...

which is how the differences in their adolescences led to their abilities to cope with this trauma being different. pre-verbal trauma causes abandonment issues and trouble regulating emotions among other symptoms; something nightheart very obviously struggled with. but what about his sister? finchlight is seemingly way more well-adjusted. this is likely because she chose to follow her mother to exile. wether knowingly or not, she didn't reinforce the abandonment issues caused by her pre-verbal trauma, which led to her being a more well adjusted adult with less glaringly obvious emotional issues. it could have also caused her to become unhealthily clingy to her mother, leading her trauma to manifest in a different way. maybe she also has empathy issues, not understanding why her brother cant just "get over it" like she did (she didn't just get over it tho, lol, she's just coping in a different way). there's lots of room for interpretation with finchlight, i think. while the authors' choice to apply this experience only to nightheart is frustratingly arbitrary and follows warrior cats' very protagnist-centric narratives, i do believe that following an analysis based on the idea of pre-verbal trauma and finchlight's choice to follow her mother into exile, you can explain why these two siblings reacted to the same situation so different. and i think looking to it that way, it's pretty damn interesting!!

[ciaran]

"do you think people are so simple, so easily understood—while you yourself are above it all, the sole experiencer of complexity and contradiction?" tbh that's often an idea that i fight off, but when i complain about not being understood by other people, they try to stroke my ego saying that i'm just smarter and superior and it bothers me. i don't want to be smarter than everyone else, i learnt so much just so i could communicate better and now i don't even have that. i just don't know how to make it possible to be understood.

i was also told that i was smarter and better than other people and that they would never understand me and i hated that. like i want to be known, i want to communicate, i dont want to be an island. i think what helped me personally was giving up on the idea that there is going to be some perfect magical knowing that opens me surgically and instantly lays us bare to each other. and to treat even superficial, ordinary conversations as though they are real connections. the eye contact i make w a woman at work when i refuse to play along w a weird joke on her behalf is Also connection. and i think like, most people are not going to Know me. they arent going to see me deeply or find me interesting or be able to understand what im trying to say. but one thing is...im willing to iterate. im willing to say the same things over and over in different ways until a way of saying it clicks, or until it sinks in...ive waited years for my mom to understand what my brain is like and she still doesnt get it but ive come a long way since what was when i was a teenager. i repeat myself a lot, i repeat myself to a lot of people, i find old ways of saying things and new ones. and these...processes of trying to be understood by others should not be a diminishing or a culling of the self to only that which is intelligible to an audience, hopefully, but there is a method to finding...common ground. and the way to find common ground is to listen to people closely, to listen to what they say and how they say it, and to find those threads...im not saying i find it easy. but when you look at what youve experienced, your feelings...the range of human emotion is not infinite. we all know shame, listlessness, terror, lust, the loneliness of being on the outside of something, the hurt of not being heard. don't look for people to have felt things in the same way, shape, or intensity as you. look for ways to say, when you catch these notes, "i know what that feels like, even though it was different for me - i know what you mean." what does being understood mean to you? does it mean that you talk and someone Gets you? or does it mean that...you look for what is inside you in the world around like piecing together a puzzle? listening to others, not because you are their therapist or anything of the sort, but because in the story they tell you might find some trace of yourself? all human connection should be selfish because unselfish connection is worse, its charity. if you have friends, i hope you are their friend for your sake as much or more than their sake. and if you listen to people closely, i hope you do it because you're looking for that point from which you start building connection and understanding. and sometimes people have to be taught to understand you, but often they want to learn, if you have a way of teaching it. you must imagine people as eager too, and lonely, and in need of being seen. you must imagine that someone out there feels what you do and the only way to find them is to talk to people.

[custardcrazy]

Hi there! Idk if you're taking requests but here's one for now:

Ted Logan x reader

Reader works at a music shop (they bond over a love for music or a specific band). Reader doesnt play the guitar. They ask Ted for some pointers and hes all flustered trying to teach her.

you're so wild (and wonderful)

summary: It's not every day that a cute near-stranger offers to teach you guitar. (gn!reader)

wordcount: 5.2k

A/N: uhhh little to no beta so again. correct me if i terrifically fucked up some grammar thing or spelling and i'll be SO SO grateful

tagged: @kurt-nightcrawler

You'd worked at the mom-and-pop record store long enough to get a good feel for the place. 

It wasn't small, but it also wasn't big and shiny like other popular outlets; tucked into a street corner in downtown San Dimas, it wasn't exactly noticeable if you didn't know where to look. Because of that, you mostly encountered the same people -- the lady always wearing cable-knit sweaters, the teenage punk with a pretty gnarly mohawk, and last but not least the middle-aged guy who came in every so often to check if you had any new Beatles records.

(You usually didn't, but it was nice to hear him talk about how his various fishing trips went instead.) 

Sometimes, someone new wandered in now and then, drawn in by the faded sign and various music posters plastered around or on the door. Of course, not all stayed; some just found what they were looking for and left, others got overwhelmed and did the same. It didn't really matter, because most of what you did anyway was sit behind the counter and wait. 

But it wasn't unpleasant in the slightest. The hours were excellent, the pay was good, and you got a discount if you wanted to buy a record for yourself. All in all, it was totally worth the occasional music snob who ranted to you about the newer generation "ruining music" or whatever. You didn't get paid to listen to that. 

Today wasn't too different from any other -- you checked all the deliveries, made sure everything was in order, and double-checked the new arrivals. Then, you found your familiar post by the register, pulling up the familiar battered stool. It did nothing for your poor back, but it was better than standing for sure. 

Your coworker, Alice, arrived a couple minutes after you. She was slight in build with more than a few piercings, always sporting an oversized band tee. You were generally friendly to each other, but since she usually killed time by looking through all the various records and other things on sale, or just straight-up vanished into the back; you didn't get many opportunities to speak to her. Which kind of sucked, because she was ridiculously funny. In a sort-of sarcastic, biting way. 

An hour went by with nothing out of the ordinary. A couple of teenagers came in, and you watched somewhat amusedly as they attempted to pool their money to buy a Pixies record. 

Unfortunately, they had to leave empty-handed. 

You were staring at the wall when the tinny chime of the bell announced a new customer. 

Abruptly, your attention snapped up, and you got a good look at the new arrivals. 

One was around average height, with blonde curls in what looked to be a halfway-mullet and downturned eyes that made him look permanently sleepy. He looked around the store with unconcealed reverence, and it was a little funny -- but you respected it all the same. But it wasn't him that really drew your attention. 

It was the other guy he came in with.

Tall, dark-haired, rather easy on the eyes and dare you say handsome, he carried himself with an easy, loping gait that immediately stuck out to you. It wasn't often you found someone attractive quite like this, and even rarer that you had to pause what you were doing to look. (Even though the fact remained that in this case you were doing pretty much nothing, it still counted.) 

It took all of your effort to remain seated and wait for him -- well, them, to approach. 

Thankfully, it didn't take too long. After maybe a minute or two, the newcomers looked at each other. For whatever reason, you waited with extreme anticipation. 

Then they grinned. "Excellent." 

You were a bit taken aback at the way they said it in perfect unison, but didn't get the chance to dwell on it; they were heading towards you, and you had to put on your customer-ready smile. 

Though it didn't escape your notice that it came easier than usual. 

"Hey," you said, hoping you didn't sound strained, "can I help you with anything?" 

"Hi," replied Blond Guy. "Yeah, me and my esteemed colleague here would like to know if that two-for-one sign that is looking most ragged still applies." He gestured to the back, where all the various memorabilia and tee shirts were -- stuff that usually wasn't popular amongst customers, and were mostly things that the owners found in the depths of their attic. His "colleague" nodded in agreement, hair flopping around a little. 

You mirrored the nod, but with less shoulder movement. "Yeah, it goes for basically anything, since everything over there is under ten bucks." Pausing briefly, you added, "unless you try to get a tee shirt for the price of a guitar pick. Then, no." 

That earned another nod from Tall Guy. "OK, that makes sense. Thanks, dude." 

He grinned, and his smile was bright enough to rival the sun; you were momentarily blinded, but were able to smile back. "No problem. Just ask me if you need anything else." 

When the two boys turned away to inspect the goods, you heaved an internal sigh of relief. 

And for once, it wasn't because the customers were being annoying. 

You put in the bare minimum in pretending to not be staring; only glancing for a split second at the pages of your battered magazine that served as time-killing material before looking back up. But, seriously, even if you were doing a poor job, neither of the guys seemed to notice. They were pretty engrossed in examining a couple Garfield mugs. 

After that, they actually moved on to the records -- lingering near Hendrix but not dwelling long on Herb Albert, and then making their way through the racks from there. It was a personal hobby of yours to guess what a customer would buy from their appearance and demeanor alone. But you'd been too …  preoccupied to think of it, and you assumed it'd be considered cheating to take a stab at it now. 

Eventually, they returned to your counter, and you looked up at their approach. As if you hadn't been watching intently out of your peripherals. 

A single record was set in front of you, and you put down your magazine. 

"Just this one?" Peering down at it, you quickly recognized the album cover: More Songs About Buildings and Food, by Talking Heads. "Oh, good choice." 

"You really think so?" Asked the taller boy, and it was a little overwhelming with how much he was focused on you. It didn't seem like he was doing it on purpose, though. "I liked '77 a lot, but I'm not sure if David Byrne's delivery'll go well in this album. His voice is pretty distinctive, dude." 

"Trust me," you grinned, "it's good. You won't regret giving it a listen." 

Flipping the record over to peer briefly at the back, you put it back down. "That'll be $6.95." 

It took a bit of frantic searching on their part, but eventually, you slid a couple crumpled bills into the register and gave them back a nickel in change. 

For a moment, your hand just hovered awkwardly in the air, the coin in your palm. The boys exchanged glances, as if daring the other to take it. But, finally, the shorter of the two grabbed it, shoving it into the pocket of his jeans. 

"What're you gonna use that for? A Tootsie Roll?" Grinning, the dark-haired guy looked proud of his joke. 

You didn't miss how he glanced over at you, to check your reaction; completely unphased by how his friend shot him a near-murderous look. 

"Shut up, Ted, you wanted it too!" 

Unfortunately, you didn't catch the blonde's name, as they were already walking away from you, record in tow. The small bell chimed once more. For a moment, you just looked at the door, the store feeling empty again. 

At least you had a name to attach to his face. 

… But it was kind of embarrassing, how you didn't even think of asking him. Maybe you wouldn't even see him again. 

Sighing, you picked back up your extremely entertaining reading material, attempting to bury your shame with a poorly-written article about a celebrity's affair. 

The rest of the day was pretty boring, to say the least. Only a couple more customers came in, but at least you made a decent amount of sales. Alice emerged from the back a couple times to put a couple ancient-looking movie posters on the walls -- you recognized Barbarella and Yellow Submarine. 

"Don't get run over," was Alice's way of saying goodbye to you, as you grabbed your stuff and headed home just after six. 

You stayed up a bit later than usual, but it didn't matter, since you had to be at the record store at around eleven or so. And it wasn't like you got lunch rushes or anything that you absolutely had to be there to handle. 

To be honest, it was barely annoying when that Ted kept popping into your mind; nobody could blame you, after all. It was rare that anybody you encountered at work was someone who legitimately had the power to capture your attention. So you entertained the feeling, right up until you arrived back at work the next day. 

Sitting down at the counter with a purpose after doing the usual routine, you rummaged around for another crappy magazine.  Now you were going to be professional and level-headed. 

And that was what you did for an hour or so. Professional stuff, like helping out a confused-looking older woman find an Elvis record, or shooing away a group of what looked to be ten-to-eleven-year-olds who tried in vain to barter for the junk that was already considerably cheaper than everything else in the store.

Everything was going well. 

Until, of course, the bell dinged again, and you just had to look up on instinct. 

They were back. 

This time, the shorter guy was wearing a backwards cap (bright red) with his blonde curls poking out the front. You appreciated that for a moment, and then, of course, your gaze slid over to him. Worn-out Megadeth shirt and all. 

To your mild surprise, he met your gaze almost instantaneously. And then he was jogging -- well, practically bounding over. 

"Dude!" He exclaimed, once he was directly in front of you. "You were so right. That album was truly heart-stirring." 

It took you a moment to recall which album he was talking about. When you did, though, you didn't hesitate to return his once-again blinding smile. "Yeah, told you so. You should totally listen to more Talking Heads, if you liked the album that much." Unlike last time, Ted's friend was hanging back, but you were curious anyway, and gestured in the blonde's direction. "Did he listen to it, too?" 

"Oh, Bill?" Nodding vigorously, Ted's grin didn't fade. "Yeah, he thought it was pretty good. But he didn't like it as much as I did." 

"At least he still liked it." You shrugged. "I mean, you were the one who bought it, right?" 

Ted glanced off to the side. "Well, I was the one who decided to buy it." He ducked his head a little. "Uh, we pooled our money, though." 

"Oh, okay." 

There was a bit of an awkward silence, before you spoke up again. "... Is there anything specific you're looking for today?" 

"Oh!" At that, Ted perked up. "Yeah, actually. I was gonna ask if there were any other Talking Heads albums here, besides, y'know, the ones I've already listened to." Quickly, he added, "uh, and by that I mean '77 and More Songs About Buildings and Food." 

"Sure, I remember." You put down your reading material, before getting off the stool and coming out from behind the counter. "Let's take a look." 

He followed behind you as you made your way to the T shelf, and stood next to you as you thumbed through the records. 

(If you concentrated just hard enough, you could feel how he was only inches away.) 

It didn't take long to find what you were looking for, thankfully. Feeling victorious, you pulled out Remain in Light. And right behind that was Fear of Music. It kind of sucked that Speaking in Tongues wasn't nearby, but if you got lucky, maybe you could find it in the countless decaying cardboard boxes in the back. 

"There," you announced, "here. This is good stuff, I think." You showed the album to Ted, and he leaned a little closer in order to get a better look. 

"It might be kind of a weird listen for some people, but it's good in my opinion. Some of the songs are kind of similar to hip-hop, and they even use elements of African music -- it's pretty cool." When you offered it to him, he took it; he handled it as if it was a delicate piece of treasure, flipping it over to read over the song titles. 

"Rad," he said, after a few moments of deep concentration. "Thanks." 

"No problem." 

You found yourself smiling along with him. "Need anything else?" 

"I think I'm okay for now." His shoulders bobbed when he nodded, you noticed. "I'm gonna look at the other albums over here for a sec, I think." 

"Sounds good. I'll be over there if you need me." 

After you turned your back to walk back to the counter, you didn't catch how he looked up -- before glancing back at the records. Once you were seated once again, the only thing you saw was how engrossed Ted was in finding what he was after. Or maybe he was just examining the album art; who knew for certain? 

It was a little while later when Bill traipsed over to Ted, and they quietly conferred. Their very hushed discussion ended pretty fast, and before you knew it, they were in front of you, and the album you'd shown Ted was placed in front of you. 

"Just this one?" You wondered if they were going to keep buying singular records. "Same as yesterday. $6.95, please." 

Again, it took a bit for the money to be collected from their pockets, but again, there was a nickel left in change. 

You didn't miss how Ted gave Bill a smug look as he reached over to take the coin from you.

Ted's fingertips were callused as your hands brushed, and 

chocolate brown eyes met yours, and 

"Do you play an instrument?" You blurted, and then winced. "Sorry, that was -- " 

" -- Actually, yeah!" 

But before you could apologize, Ted cut you off. If he was thrown off-guard by your oddly-placed question, he didn't show it; if anything, he actually looked happy that you'd asked. 

"I play guitar!" Proudly, he continued, "so does Bill! Which is great, because we can learn all the tough songs together." The previous brief animosity over the nickel completely disappeared as they exchanged glowing looks. "It is most productive." 

"Oh." Briefly, you were still caught between guilt and embarrassment, but you recovered quickly. "Oh! That's neat, actually. Guitar's a cool instrument."  

Bill seemed to take your praise in stride, but Ted -- he suddenly avoided eye contact. You carried on, though. "I've kind of always wanted to learn, but I've never really committed." Giggling semi-awkwardly, you shrugged. "Oh well, I guess. Maybe someday, right? Actually buying a guitar might be kinda hard, though. I've fooled around on a couple, but never owned one." 

"That is totally understandable," nodded Bill solemnly, "it does take a decent amount of cash and time to be able to learn any instrument." 

"Exactly," you agreed. Smiling, you nodded slightly in return. "Have a nice day, guys." 

Suddenly, Ted's attention was back on you with an intensity. You looked at him -- did he have a question about the album? -- but no, he was practically radiating nervous energy, almost looking like a deer caught in headlights. You watched as his Adam's apple bobbed; he seemed to be steeling himself. 

Before you could ask if he was okay, though -- 

"I could -- " he cleared his throat, "I could, uh, teach you a bit of guitar. If you wanna." 

What?

"What?" You and Bill said, at the same time. 

"I mean, I'm not, like, prodigy material, but… " Ted's face was gradually appearing pinker by the second. "I know some stuff, at least." 

Ignoring Bill's extremely concerning look directed at his friend, you genuinely considered his offer. 

This was actually a prime-time opportunity. 

It wasn't every day that cute boys just fell out of the sky (well, walked through the door of the record store) and offered to give you free guitar lessons. Sure, it was true that you barely knew him -- but if you said no, would you even get the chance to get to know him? Probably not. You couldn't tell if he was the type of guy to back off if you said no to something like this; and that was a little scary. 

He was shuffling a little, and looked pretty nervous by the time you came to a conclusion. 

"Yeah," you affirmed. 

"That'd be nice." 

If anything, Bill looked more surprised than Ted; who, after a moment or two, seemingly remembered his ability to speak. 

"Wait, really?" Ted's face displayed open shock, before fading beautifully into joy. 

"Killer, dude." 

-- 

Turns out the bookmark you'd been using also worked pretty well as a means for Ted to scribble down his (and Bill's, apparently) address. His handwriting was a couple steps up from basically illegible, but considering that you'd noticed his hand shaking, you'd take what you could get. You had a sneaking suspicion that, even on a good day, writing wasn't his strong suit. 

The apartment building wasn't too far from your own home, thankfully. 

You were only a bit nervous when standing in front of the door. Waiting for either Bill or Ted to answer it. 

It turned out to be the latter, who looked partially disheveled as he opened the door for you, stepping aside. 

"Sorry. It's a bit of a mess, dude," he said, sounding sheepish, "uh, but trust me, it's usually way worse." 

Stepping inside, you looked around -- it wasn't the worst place you'd seen, to be honest, and it had a sense of familiarity radiating from all the stickers stuck on basically every surface, and posters, pictures, and other memorabilia everywhere. Most of the posters were of bands you recognized. 

"It's fine," you replied, as he shut the door behind you. "Is Bill home?" 

"No, he went out," came Ted's answer. "Dunno where, though. He just gave me a sorta squinty look and left." 

"Oh." 

An awkward beat, before Ted picked up the thread of conversation; thin as it was. 

"C'mon, you can sit down on the couch or wherever. I'll go get the guitars." He smiled at you. "There's probably, like, cereal in the kitchen if you want something." And with that, he practically bolted into the next room. 

Doing as he said, you made a place for yourself on the green couch, trying not to knock off any of the pillow and whatnot piled onto the surface. Not that you thought Ted would mind or anything, judging by the semi-cluttered state of the apartment -- but you didn't want to be a rude houseguest, especially during the first time he'd invited you over. 

Ted returned pretty quickly, though, carrying two guitars. One was beige, the other black and red. 

"You can take Bill's," he said, offering the latter guitar to you. "He won't mind, I think. Unless you break it or something." 

"That's not … really comforting." Taking the guitar, you placed it in your lap. "Now I'm nervous." 

"Oh. Sorry, dude." He sat down next to you, his own instrument placed on his leg in a position that looked much more comfortable. "I mean, if you did break it, it'd be most calamitous." Seeing your expression, he rushed to add, "but I trust you not to! Since you work in a record store and all." 

"That's a good point." Looking at him, you hoped you didn't appear too lost, and you adjusted the way you held your guitar to mimic him. 

"So, uh." Ted didn't seem to notice. "You wanna learn a couple basic chords? It's gonna be a bit weird at first, but you'll get used to it pretty quick." 

"Alright." 

"Stellar." Rolling his shoulders, he grinned. "Here's an A major chord." He demonstrated the finger position, and then strummed his guitar -- it looked easy enough, but still took a couple tries for you to put your hand in the right spot for it to sound right. Eventually, though, you got it, and Ted beamed. 

"That's it. Probably the easiest chord. Wanna move on?" 

"Sure," you said, "how long will it take to get used to the strings? They're a little tough to keep down." 

"Don't press too hard, it'll kill the quality." Ted adjusted himself in his seat, but didn't take his eyes off you. "If you play regularly, you'll get calluses in no time. Don't worry." 

"I hope so." You unconsciously mirrored his movement, but weren't able to hold eye contact for as long as him, and dropped your gaze to the guitar in your hands. There were a couple small scratches here and there, which was comforting; because if it could survive a few dings and scrapes, it could survive your amateurish playing. 

"I know so, dude." Ted was completely relaxed. " 'Kay, moving on -- C major chord, right? Also pretty easy." He repositioned his fingers, and strummed once more. 

Again, after some trial and error, and maybe a little help, you caught on. Ted looked pleased. "See, you got it! You're learning way quicker than I did." 

You weren't sure if it was empty praise or not, but judging from how blunt he'd been so far, you doubted it. And it wasn't like you weren't going to take the compliment -- not with how it brought a supremely light feeling into your chest. 

Ted had you practice going between the chords a couple times, to get used to switching finger positions. It was awkward, to say the least, but not outright difficult or challenging. You supposed that, with enough practice, it'd get way less fiddly. 

"What's next?" You asked, after that. "More chords?" 

"You got it!" He'd been demonstrating how to switch positions efficiently, and you tried not to focus on how his fingers easily reached across the fretboard with little to no effort. "Next, we've got the G major chord. Three fingers again." 

It was the same process as before, you thought. However, this time, you just couldn't get it right; his fingers and hand were positioned in a way that made it difficult to tell which frets he was pressing. A little frustrated, you tried for the fifth time, and yet. No dice. 

Ted didn't seem too bothered, but he sounded empathetic when he spoke up. "Oh. Lemme help, dude." 

If you were expecting anything in particular, it probably wouldn't have been him reaching over to move your ring finger onto the correct fret, and then nudge your index finger over a little. 

Your heart did a traitorous little skip. 

His hands were warm. 

"... There." Even he looked bashful as he pulled back. "Uh. That should be good now." 

It took you a moment to breathe a "thanks." 

Wonderfully, and finally, you got it right. The chord was a little shaky, but you reveled in your triumph. 

There was something thick in the air, 

but it quickly dissipated as Ted cracked another smile. "See? You got it!" 

"Yeah," was all you could muster. 

"Let's go between those three for now," he said, mercifully not picking up on your current state of mind. "I think that's a good spot to kinda review, right?" Flicking back his head to get his bangs out of his face, he continued. "I'm not going too fast, right? I'm not, like, a professional music teacher or anything, so…" 

At last, you recovered your ability to find words. "No, you're fine. The chords aren't too hard to remember, anyway." 

"Right," agreed Ted, "then, can you play the A major one again?" 

That was easy enough. You got C major right rather quickly too, much to Ted's delight. And you even remembered how to shift between the two positions in a way that didn't result in uncomfortable finger-twisting. Your fingertips were steadily growing sorer, indented by the strings, but you tried not to focus on it; you'd get used to that later. 

However, when you got back to the G major chord… You tried once. Nope. Once more? Couldn't get it. 

Third time could be the charm. 

No dice. Your guitar emitted a sound similar to that of a severely out-of-tune violin. 

"That one trip you up again, dude?" Ted frowned, but it wasn't in a disappointed way at all. More like the sympathy from earlier -- and he sounded a bit guilty, but you didn't know why. 

"I swear it's not on purpose," you grumbled, "sorry." 

" 'S fine, really." His frown melted into that same easy smile. "I get it. Imagine how long it took for me to get that one right. I didn't have a teacher at all." 

Your mind abruptly conjured up an image of Ted, just as frustrated as you were, sitting on the same couch. Struggling to learn the chords you'd gotten in mere minutes. Maybe Bill and him struggled together, when they were both unfamiliar with guitars. Like you were now. 

It was kind of a funny image. You were wondering if it was rude to think so; it probably was, right? 

But your train of thought was quickly interrupted. 

As Ted moved over. 

Closer than the last time. 

"I have a trick that helped when I first learned the G chord," he began, "uh, you just gotta remember that your middle and ring finger are on the same row, right? And the pointer is just up there." He made a couple hand gestures that didn't really help with the explanation. You understood what he meant, however… 

"Where's the pointer finger supposed to go, again?" You asked, a little embarrassed that you'd already forgotten the correct hand position. 

Ted opened his mouth to say something. His brow furrowed as he hesitated, before apparently giving up on trying to detail it with words. Gingerly, he placed his own guitar the side. 

"Just -- here. Hang on." 

Your heart swooped as he reached out again, and -- 

he was so gentle in how he guided your hand to the correct spot, before carefully nudging your fingertips onto the frets, pressing them ever so slightly onto them. 

It took him a moment to speak, and when he did, he hadn't removed his hand from on top of yours yet. He was turned entirely to face you, having been so focused on his task of helping you that he hadn't noticed -- until now. 

"Uh," he said, before clearing his throat. "So, see? Middle and ring on the same row, like I said." 

His voice was quieter. "And … pointer to the side. There." 

You risked a glance up at his face. 

It was a brilliant pink. 

But he still hadn't moved away. 

Every single nerve in your body felt like they were migrating to where your skin met his. 

"... There?" 

You echoed.

Ted finally seemed to snap back to reality -- pulling his hand back, nearly scrambling backwards on the couch, almost bumping his guitar off it in the process, with how he bounced back on the cushions in his rush to get out of your personal space. 

"Yeah!" He blurted as he did so. Face scarlet. Hand flying up to scratch at the back of his neck.

"That -- that should be good." 

And now he was avoiding eye contact. 

"Okay," you replied eloquently, mentally kicking yourself afterward. 

You had to admit, there was a little bit of suspense before you finally strummed your guitar. 

And as if from the heavens above, the correct notes finally rang out, just as Ted had demonstrated earlier. 

"There!" You declared, and couldn't help your sigh of relief. "I think I'll remember it next time." 

It took Ted a second to respond, but when he did, he'd recovered, and was grinning; even if he was still a little pink. 

"... See!" He dropped his hand back to his lap to join the other. "The same goes for other tough stuff in music. If you're having trouble, just try to find a pattern." Sagely, he nodded. "Even if it takes you a while to find the pattern, it'll be most gratifying in the end. Makes it way easier to remember stuff." 

"Yeah, thanks." You loosened your grip on your guitar. "Actually, that helps a lot. Should we go back to reviewing all the chords again?" 

Ted reached back to grab his own instrument, before flicking back his head to get his bangs out of his face. 

"Let's do it, dude." 

-- 

It was about an hour and a half later when your fingertips really started to get sore; even after said hour and a half was interspersed with several breaks, in which your very helpful teacher showed you a couple records from his own collection. And played a couple songs from said couple records. 

Most of the songs were from the albums you'd chosen for him. 

However, when it came to continuing to practice guitar, half of you wanted to bravely persist, and the other half wanted to stop. Though it was inevitably Ted that made the decision. 

"I said it'd take time for you to get calluses, but you shouldn't push yourself too hard," he said, after you winced for maybe the third time. "It hurts, right? And that sucks, that was exactly what it felt like for me during the first, like, few weeks or so." Idly, he pushed back a lock of his hair which had migrated into his face. "I think we could stop for now." 

"Yeah, okay." You put down your guitar. "You're right. I should head home to eat, anyway." 

"Right," he replied. 

There was an awkward beat, before you finally stood up. Ted followed suit.

"Yeah," you repeated, not being able to stop the smile that tugged at the corner of your mouth. "Thanks. Really, it was really sweet of you to offer to teach me a bit of guitar. I only mentioned it in passing, too." 

His hand was back on the back of his neck as he walked the short distance with you to the entrance. "It's nothing," he deflected, but his expression said it all. "I'm just glad that I didn't turn out to be a horrific teacher, or something." 

"No, you were fine!" Giving him another 'thanks' as he opened the door for you, you stepped out of the apartment. "I'm just glad that I wasn't a horrific student." 

Turning to face him, you inclined your head, speaking before he could object.

"Bye. And thanks -- " 

"-- you wanna do this again?" 

It seemed even he was surprised at the question, taking into account how his face reddened. Once again. "Uh," he added, "I mean, it was fun. To hang out and teach you a couple chords. It'd be nice to hang out again." His tone was wavering. Stilted, almost. "Yeah."

It was cute. 

"Sure," you answered without missing a beat. "Give me your number and I'll call when I get home." 

His answering grin was powerful enough to power a thousand solar panels. 

You probably broke a speed limit heading home, to say the least. 

[saltygilmores]

Fr Lorelai's parenting was so questionable sometimes and not just because of the advice but in general:

1) she let her teenage daughter consume so much caffeine and was even proud of it

2) she let her drive underage and get into an accident (the deer)

3) when Rory came late to the exam and wasn't allowed to take it, Lorelai made a scene and demanded that her daughter be the exemption to the rules because she is so smart and special

4) went on to date Rory's English teacher like that won't leave a mark on the kid

5) pretends to be such a "cool mom" that's not afraid to talk about sex with her daughter except she isn't. The only time birth control is brought up it's a punishment for staying out late with her boyfriend. Which she proceeds to treat her coldly and distantly over for the next week, as if she had never pulled anything like this when she was Rory's age. Like if you're genuinely that worried that she will have sex just ask her?? Take her to the gynecologist? Once she does tell her she may be ready to have sex, Lorelai hangs her head in sadness and acts like she's at a funeral.

6) as you keep pointing out, she is waaay too involved in Rory's relationships and drama and makes it very clear which boyfriend she prefers. Pushes Rory to stay with her boyfriend when she is already unhappy with her relationship, because Lorelai knows that their relationship is so tame she doesn't have to worry about her getting pregnant. She would rather Rory be in a sexless unhappy relationship than a happy one that potentially involves sex.

7) lets Rory drive a car that her 16-year-old boyfriend with no qualifications built from scratch.

8) get ridiculously overprotective (I broke my arm at 4 and no one slept in the room with me to my knowledge) when her friend crashes the car and says she wants to kill him, while not even reprimanding Rory for letting someone else drive her car.

9) throws a fit when Rory applies to other schools than "her dream school" which has an acceptance rate of like 4%

10) pretends like she's such a best friends first mom but she's not. I mean she is but as long as Rory is doing everything she wants and agrees with all her opinions 100%. But any time Rory does something Lorelai doesn't like, she gets silent treatment- when Rory stays out late with Dean and Lorelai doesn't talk to her properly till the episode after, when she does sleep with Dean (🤢) Lorelai ships her off to Europe with her grandma as if Rory was a troubled 16-year-old not an adult and doesn't talk to her all summer or after she decided to take a semester off at Yale. Both were such Emily things to do and the Yale thing is especially vile because she says to Luke that she will only tell Rory about their engagement once Rory "fixes things" aka does what Lorelai wants her to do. It's so clear she was punishing her with silence.

I am ranting to you because you said that you love to discuss how terrible Lorelai is but if it's too much I apologize.

First off pleeeaseee never apologize for sending me asks or DMS even if they are 25 pages long! And "Reasons Why Lorelai Gilmore Is The Worst" is my favorite game. I wanna play! Here's another one of my biggest grievances! Lorelai does not respect Rory's self agency (is that the right term?) Example: Rory trying to impart on Lorelai that she doesnt blame Jess for crashing the car and that the injury was minor and not bothersome to her and that Lorelai is making way too big a stink over it. Lorelai fights her at every turn like Rory is a small child who can' possibly know what she's talking about and doesn't respect her opinions on anything if what Rory feels doesn't align with Lorelai. I believe Lorelai even tried to one up the doctor who tells them (lorelai and rory) in the hospital that the injury is pretty minor and Lorelai is like no, it must be worse than it is because Jess was driving and he was trying to murder my child! (she ALSO states "the accident would never have happened if Dean was behind the wheel", why, just because she thinks Dean is dreamy he's also not a 17 year old inexperienced driver who may not even have a full license yet and is prone to accidents? (she also gleefully and wistfully recalled how when she was first dating Christopher he drove recklessly on purpose and crashed his car with them in it). Countless other times Rory has tried to impart on Lorelai how she feels about something or someone and Lorelai just fucking steamrolls her. Rory wastes too much oxygen trying to convince Lorelai that Jess is a good person and she should give him a chance. But Lorelai has decide she doesn't like him so Rory must be wrong and not know what she's talking about. You know, I don't blame Rory for being such a damn doormat sometimes, I mean, standing up for herself to Lorelai never gets her anywhere so why bother? To number 9, The episode I just finished is a prime example! Lorelai had a literal meltdown in PUBLIC screaming at her parents, because Rory had the audacity to accept an invitation from her grandparents to merely tour a school and in her half baked mind this was some kind of conspiracy cooked up btwn the three of them to spit in Lorelai's face? Rory isn't allowed to go to any college but the one Lorelai picked out for her? Rory was so frightened of Lorelai's reaction to her visiting Yale that she and Richard and had to go behind Lorelai's back to plan the trip and Rory was practically bracing for impact when she had to tell Lorelai. And then is angry like "why did you go behind my back to arrange this?" Jesus Christ. Even Mrs Kim laid out options for Lane when it was time for college. To number 5: Lorelai said "I got the good kid" when she overheard Rory tell Paris she was still a virgin and then treated her to a trip to the mall. This is fun.