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the thing with jack slash is that he's meant to be a kind of subversion of the whole "the joker is impossibly slippery and can convince anyone to become an insane serial killer, because deep down everyone wants to be evil and let evil people win", and this is supposed to happen through his power secretly cheating for him - he's not actually that persuasive or insidious, he just has this background contrivance that lets him fake it (to the point where his trigger event literally involves him discovering that the world isn't actually that dark and violent, that violence isn't that inevitable) ...

...except that in worm every other parahuman's powers are treated as part of their own skill and character, to the point where it is in fact what makes the setting so interesting. powers are always fitting to the parahuman and have weight to them because of trigger events. there is never a point where it feels like someone else is "cheating" at combat because they almost certainly had a trigger event, because their powers have consequences we don't fully see, because their powers are part of them, and/or because they had to learn how to use their powers in a creative way etc. Jack slash functionally is that powerful and insidious and persuasive because everyone else's powers are part of who they are.

and in the end it just wraps around to just being the joker played straight again, with the addition of some more annoying internet arguments.

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I think I've mentioned this, but in my head the best of all possible Wards is set 15 years after Gold Morning and it's a Fallout/Borderlands tinged Neo-Western. The post-apocalyptic Red Queen Race has laid low all higher aspirations, and the law of the land is split between oppressive cape-backed state-sec regimes in the cities and cult-of-personality driven strongman parahuman feudalism in the boonies. All parties involved make liberal use of classic heroic and villainous aesthetics that signify absolutely nothing beyond danger to the unpowered serfs caught in the crossfire. The land is plagued by tinker-spawned mutants, runaway robots, and shadow-of-Chernobyl-styled altered physics bullshit resulting from the ice break depicted in canon, and the closest you get to "superheroes" in the classic mold are bounty hunters and knights errant whose prices to help to deal with that shit aren't too exorbitant for the average farming commune. Victoria is a burnout in her mid-thirties, keeping her head down in a small settlement on a corner world, until she and her unresolved issues are dragged back into the fray kicking and screaming by the power of Plot. In other words, Old Man Logan if it was good instead of just fun, and also probably without the sliver of hope that there's going to be something better soon

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Bonesaw wins this one easily. She vat grows a bunch of clones, either number boys as a fair few have already pointed to, or makes a slaughterhouse 9000 version of that Futurama episode. It's a slam dunk easily, but the rules of basketball have to be explained to her. Purely ground-bound cyborg minions means she's the clear winner, and the ability to weld parahuman clones together and retain their powers means she has a theoretical infinite amount of potent combinations to choose from to build her team.

Blasto is Bonesaw without the oomfh or the parahuman welding. His creations also need to be taught the rules of basketball and he's unlikely to have a lot of success there as his minions were all dumb plant animals with barebones pheromone controls. He might build a mind control helmet to hotseat swap between his minions as they gain the ball, but team cohesion is going to be worse than baseline humans. But he at least builds a team of plantmen, might be able to incorporate parahuman powers if given time to prune mutations.

Dragon is the second best, though she's rather limited by the size and flight limits. She either outfits a team of normals in the style of Dragon's Teeth, with targetting software similar to Numberman and the benefit of multiple angles of perception for trig or something, or she builds networked minion bodies she can pilot herself. AI really comes in to help with team cohesion here.

String Theory, like a few other tinkers here, doesn't even have the capability to build a team at all (though I have seen her have flying construction drones in some fanfics). She shows up with the B-Drive (basketball drive) which is just a shoulder mounted railgun. She blows a hole through the backboard (narrowly missing Lab Rat who was just enjoying a hotdog) and laughs maniacally until she's chased off the court. Her internal countdown timer would've been useful in planning if she was able to make robots here. Maybe she could pull a Bakuda with bomb collars? We only really know about her doomsday weapons and they're made to be mass drivers and there isn't a lot of nuance to that much kinetic power in basketball.

Professor Haywire is a decent threat, outfitting his (her?) team with pocket teleporters that they can pass the ball through. Think Portal, short range wormholes. Decidedly doesn't push stuff out to other dimensions to play by the rules. Faces disqualification once it's clear that teleportation technically breaks the dribble rules and it starts to negate the team's advantage.

Hero is the lamest actually since he prefers to play by the spirit of the rules. Also no flight or sticking to the walls means his jetpacks are useless. I'm also assuming his guns, or any devices like shields or armour would be less useful since this isn't an all out brawl and actually would have to treat this as a no-contact match. Therefore, he builds a team of robots like Dragon but without her multitasking or networked teamwork they perform above average for a professional basketball team. Wavelength generators in their palms might make passing easier, or give stronger throws.

Armsmaster insists he's a one-man-team, equipped with a dozen halbards that look like lacrosse sticks. Or he builds a nanomachine swarm to form his teammates. Defiant might be able to build a robot army with Dragon's help, but it's decidedly inferior to what she can produce. The fact that he didn't throw in the towel in the first place is because both of him are stubborn as hell. He shouldn't be able to construct a team at all.

Mannequin also shouldn't be able to build a team at all, but he's apparently gotten a lot of volunteers to augment and they're all willing to play. Unfortunately, nothing in his wheelhouse grants any particular tinkertech advantages in basketball. All of his creations are technically larger than 7 feet tall, but their chain-limbs mean that they flex and move in completely unconventional ways. Extremely agile. Punctures the ball because he forgot to take the knives out of his team's hands/feet/joints/heads. Likes to cheat, and has installed shotguns, flamethrowers, poison gas, etc into the volunteers that he intentionally left in. Just forgot about the knife fingers is all.

The following tinkers are all given 2 months to create a basketball team of 5-9 players. These teams have to be entirely made of their creations.

The only limitations are everything has to be bipedal and have a vaguely humanoid shape, cannot have more than 8 limbs (tails count), and cannot be above 7 foot tall.

They then do a tournament. Assume that those that can't explicitly create drones (i.e mannequin) can turn existing stuff into drones. So mannequin could create a drone version of his current weird body as a 'player'.

Directly attacking other players is not allowed but indirectly is. Any damage is repaired between matches. Distorting the field by doing things such as creating acid pools is allowed, so long as the hoop itself is still accessible. Blocking the hoop in any way is not permitted. The ball must be accessible at all times - no teleporting it to alternate dimensions. No teleporting long distances in general, and ball modification is not permitted. Flight or wall climbing is not permitted.

Anything else goes.

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I think this is the only Worm fanwork that depicts Bitch happy. I'm struggling to think of anything anywhere where she's smiling or glad to be in frame. I really appreciate a smiling Rachel.

WORM Bitch Animatic

HEY WORMBLR!!

I made a thing! Thought this song really suited Rachel's character. I imagine she ever was put in charge of making an undersides recruitment video it would go a little something like this. I hope you like it!

Dedication:

This video is dedicated to my sister, who insists on the superiorness of the wolfspider ship. (I’m more a fan of skitter x tattletale myself). But here we are. I guess this is some free wolfspider supremacy propeganda for you girl.

Also here's the youtube link: https://youtu.be/tiFX3aduLCo

Sauce: Mondo Generator’s cover of Iggy Pop’s song “Dog Food”

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Heh

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oh damn, I really need to read Ward to fully flesh out my mental image of Tattletale (in preparation for my own fic writing). something else kinda clicked when I read that though; her power is all about tearing into people's deepest depths, no mercy, no walls up, no illusions. facing the ugly truth. then talking about them. fanon has her as a mean girl ready to pull people apart at their seams, yeah. giving other people early warnings, shouting secrets everyone would rather keep buried at all costs, especially when lives are on the line. being the smartest person in the room out of sheer necessity, because all these adults are dropping the ball.

what if her power would've been the perfect thing to rip into Rex if he hadn't successfully killed himself? but he's dead so she has to unleash it on everyone else. to very little positive effect. sad about taylor club honourary Founding member: Lisa Wilbourn.

It strikes me that Lisa is cruelest to people when she realizes that she's failed to save them.

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in my head cozen is always finding brian staring wistfully at a bug he found in the house instead of squishing it and neither of them ever say anything about it but shes not happy about it

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.do you have any scars on your hands/fingers?

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would any of the 3 russian caravan heads on wormblr enjoy a liveblog reread of it. i was planning on rereading it but if i posted it here it might seduce people into the peak that is russian caravan

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god the fags you put on earth to fuck nasty are barely getting by

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and btw the undersider aisha secretly finds hot is not taylor but in fact rachel. wake up sheeple

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in secret lgbt worm in the scene where the undersiders split up to change clothes according to gender they still do that as per brian (heterosexual) and taylor (repressed bisexual)'s decrees except brian suffers more because alec is like [trying to make friendly conversation voice] wellthis is sort of pointless right because i'm bisexual and brian is like [bravely telling himself he's not supposed to be bothered because regent is small and nonthreatening and effeminate but uncomfortable anyway] The Part I Care About Is That Imp Is Over There. and alec is like yeah but she's bisexual too so she's probably getting an eyeful if youknow what i mean. and i'm at least ninety-percent rache is a lesbo. and brian is like

aisha is bisexual?

and alec is like. what yeah its really obvious lol. hey can you hand me my shirt. while brian is experiencing a nightmarish flashback to the time aisha borrowed his laptop when she was 11 and when he checked the search history after she gave it back it was all like "Tits. girl boob" and he went "huh! guess that's a normal growing girl thing. maybe i should buy her one of those books about puberty. since i would rather kill myself than discuss this with her." and then casually carried on with his day

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Canon Worm every once in a while

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I keep seeing it mentioned that Coil has Lisa thoroughly in check, but I cant remember what that actually manifests as in-story. Is it general "you have outlived your usefulness" kinda pressure on all his direct underlings or does he have some leverage over her specifically? (Or both?)

this is almost certainly going to be an incomplete answer due to Forgetting Things, but i think the most basic summary is like. we see in her interlude that several of coil's employees successfully kidnap her and then give her a phone call from coil. one uses the ominous phrasing that they 'advise' she takes it, and it's explicitly noted (several times, in fact) that they're three adults holding guns. on the phone call, coil intentionally drops her legal name, and then says he's looking to buy her services. the usage of her legal name is a clear implied threat--it shows that he's valued having her power at his command enough to stalk her and uncover well-hidden information about her without her knowledge. lisa's power also tells her that, based on his "buy your services" phrasing, it's not really a negotiation. there's again repeated emphasis on the adults holding guns in the line prior to her saying she's listening.

essentially, it's clear that coil hunted her down, stalked her, uncovered dangerous amounts of private information about her, and then threatened her into working for him. she goes along with the offer immediately while maintaining false cheer/confidence because it's clear that doing so is how she can prevent him from escalating to hurting her. and he has many potential ways of doing that, whether it's physical violence (the people with guns), or more indirect violence (reporting her to authorities or what have you with her real name). he's got her under threat of harm, blackmail, all that. and he's doing all of this because her power is extremely useful and valuable to him. her behavior is that of someone going along with the lightest level of implied threats so that she doesn't have to find out what happens if he has to escalate to keep her under his thumb, because there's no way he would ever want to let her escape alive.

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"Did you see that tweet about how Amy Dallon did nothing wrong? Listen, chat, no disrespect, but a lotta you guys out there don't know what the hell you're saying. Nothing wrong? Brother, everybody does something wrong at least once in their lives. That's called the human fucking condition, it's how we as a society learn self improvement and develop the life skills necessary for modern survival. Now I get that statistically most of you are like, age 24-29 zoomer-millenials who can't even talk to a girl without m-m-mumbling under your breaths, but come the fuck on! I'm not saying I don't understand the idea of simping for a fictional character, don't get me wrong—but guys, have some fucking self respect. The girl literally sexually assaulted her sister. Like at some point you gotta admit that's indefensible, right? There's a difference between, like, tax evasion and, y'know, rape, right? There are degrees to wrongness. Wha—'source'? Brother, I don't know, ask the fucking Babylonians. You think Hammurabi didn't know the difference between theft and turning your sister into an amorphous blob of tits and genitals? We had this shit figured out two thousand years ago, and your ass is on X the everything app pretending that all things are equal, like come the fuck on. 'Minus two', 'Minus two', 'wish she did that to me'? Chat, is this what we're into now? Like as a society, this is where we're at now? Incest is the new kink du jour? All that mommy/daddy fetish shit has really caught up to us, huh? 'Minus two', 'minus two'—chat, what the fuck are you talking about? Sorry I didn't get the memo that incest was cool now, I guess my next Christmas get-together is just gonna be really awkward. Catch me bringing lube and Folgers coffee to the next family function, right chat?"