#she has more issues than she has atoms

[bucket-puns]

Old limbus women but one of them is my OC LMAOOOO

[tallykale]

episode 19

as you can probably tell, i've thought a lot about what post-canon one would look like in my vision... i've said before that i have issues with straightforward fix-its, and i do genuinely love the tragic open-ended conclusion that the series has, but i... am not immune to playing with characters like dolls LOL

here's some writeups about where everyone is at mentally in these pictures. please please please PLEEEASE feel free to ask me more about this cuz i love talking about my beautiful mind palace

charlotte: somehow the most optimistic person in here, mostly out of necessity. when she died, she saw parker leading her out of a cave as her waiting room and was about to take his hand when airy respawned her, so she has a brief moment of bonding with bryce when he talks about the waiting room and seeing stella. with the knowledge that there is potentially a way to get out (bryce and liam being the proof) and the fear of rotting away again she is by far the most actively motivated to help liam figure out the computer. a lot of her days are spent talking to liam over the mic and writing out the code in the dirt so she can try to understand it. she still has to push against her natural misanthropy (and often shouts at liam or bryce for being fucking stupid and useless) but both working on the code and helping amelia give her something concrete to focus on outside herself. she wants to get home so she can make amends with her friends. charlotte is scared of dying! she's really genuinely horribly scared of dying and has awful vivid nightmares about rotting away. she often pushes amelia into talking about her life which causes some tension, but it's because she really hates seeing amelia lose herself like that - a metaphorical rotting away of the self.

subway seat & atom: not on the same level of pure existential depression as the batch 1 contestants, but they both feel the hopeless mood pretty harshly regardless. subway feels very lonely as the only hidden object still 'awake', and likes to carry whippy creamy around rather than just leave him sitting on the ground constantly. tray is too big and unwieldy for him to do that with, but he 'hangs out' with her anyway, talking to her and whippy creamy in the hopes that it'll get them to want to wake up again. atom doesn't talk much, but he still carries his piece of grass. he's definitely the person who's the least affected by the prospect of being stuck on the plane forever, since he… doesn't really perceive existence in the same way as everyone else? he's an atom. but his time in the competition definitely made him view everyone else as friends, and he feels even more powerless than usual in the face of this incomprehensibly difficult problem.

amelia: falls into total hopelessness when bryce rejoins, basically seeing it as the final sign that they're never going home. still calls everyone their competition names (she actually gets into a big fight with bryce about it lol). she gets really clingy and dependent on bryce when he first comes back but it crashes and burns pretty quickly when, during an argument, bryce tells her how much he wishes he could just go back and never have let liam in and forgot about everything… which really sucks for amelia to hear, given that she's part of that everything. after that, with bryce isolating himself, she's kind of reliant on charlotte to keep her going. she blames liam for airy dying and secretly kind of thinks he killed him but just isn't telling them… she also doesn't really believe there's any way of getting out and is just kind of waiting around to die of, like, old age i guess. after how long she's been here, amelia is convinced that she has nothing to even go back to and frequently forgets details about her life. regularly cries and hates being alone. the shift markings on the side of the water tub have changed from being a way to keep track of time and stay sane to a horrible reminder of how long they've been here and how much longer of an eternity they have before them.

bryce: hates himself and liam and airy and the plane and his entire stupid fucking life. bryce is really, really fucking pissed off at liam for losing the notes and letting texty die and every other mistake he's made, and isn't shy about telling him that. as well as being angry, he's also incredibly miserable, because he was finally starting to turn his life around (he quit drinking after the plane) and now it's all for nothing - and even worse, those 7 months he spent getting better were 7 months he did nothing to help the rest of them, especially amelia. he's horribly guilty about that, and that he didn't tell amelia about the fake votes before he was eliminated… but finds it easier to just let liam take the heat for that one at first. after he fights with amelia about it he becomes a bit of a hermit, hanging out by himself next to the plug, and never responds when liam tries to talk. contemplates suicide regularly but pretty much the only option is drowning himself, and the idea of that still scares him more than staying like this forever. would kill for a beer.

liam: tortured by horrible guilt every day over a million different things. these include getting bryce pulled back into this (plus delayed guilt over getting him for real killed), letting texty die and not saying anything about the charger, not telling amelia that everything was fake, knowing that charlotte is going to die if he doesn't get really smart really fast… he's frequently gripped by fits of rage where he almost smashes the computer and has to hobble around outside with the axe for a while to blow off steam. he has really bad nightmares and dissociative episodes, made worse by the isolation and spending hours in a dark cave. liam really wants to fix things with everyone but genuinely has no idea how to start that conversation. he assumes airy killed himself (and views it as an unforgiveably cowardly move) and directs a lot of resentment towards him. he has a lot of things he wants to say, especially to bryce, but the fact that he cant talk to anybody one on one makes things difficult. spends a lot of time just reading through the code, too afraid to actually make any changes in case everyone explodes, but talking it through with charlotte at least makes him feel like he's doing something. more than he would like to admit, liam catches himself staring at the plane as if it's a simulation or a livestream.

[amusingmusie]

Hi, I really hope you're faring well. Just wanted to say that I love your writing and yours truly, and I thought about something.

In hell, Alastor is a lot more durable and unkillable, so I imagine that's a lot more of a headache for Nel. She's walking behind him, ready to bash his skull and all of a sudden his head does a 180 and she's like >:0.

Also demon Al's hygiene must be HORRIBLE. So she's probably going to have to chase him around the hotel with a toothbrush and soap to no evail because he's a slippery motherfucker now that he's a demon.

Thank you so much for writing this masterpiece, and have a wonderful day <3

Fresh As Hell

Content warning for the Hazbin cast being themselves.

You're running out of ideas.

This has gone on far too long. The smell of an old shoe here, a hint of halitosis there, even a whiff of swamp water wafting your way if you get too close: it's all evidence that you can't ignore any longer.

Alastor kind of fucking stinks.

Sure, you've told him since your human days that his swampass stench is overwhelming, but that was a dig to piss him off, not the actual truth (usually, as long as his mother pressured him to scrub his tail). Nowadays? Well, if the demonic stop sign admitted that he bathes in his bedroom's wetlands, you'd be less than shocked. Shit, you'd actually be relieved if that were the case, because then you could fill the bog with soap and perfume to mask whatever funk perpetually lives on Alastor's grey skin. It's never overwhelming enough to knock you out; it's maddening subtle, the musk of his hair and the bite to his breath.

Maybe you could survive the Great Stink of '24 if he didn't insist on being on top of you at all times. Every time you turn around, you're assaulted by crimson, static, and Alastor's personal brand of miasma that wafts off of him since he insists on being no less than three atoms away from you.

Sure, it's possible you've got beef with his aroma since back in the day, the shitter smelled like freshly cut wood with notes of amber and his teeth sparkled like diamonds. You've seen his hygiene at its peak, which is why you cannot cosign this rank tomfoolery. Unfortunately, all of your attempts to rally the idiots at this hotel to agree with you that this is an issue have ended in disaster, leaving you without any allies in this fight.

"I haven't really noticed much, and hey, here at the Happy Hotel, we're receptive to more, um, eccentric lifestyles! As long as Alastor is being a team player and helping out with our mission, there's no reason to make him uncomfortable by bringing up his personal choices!"

"I don't get close enough to that pendejo to catch a whiff of whatever you're talking about."

"I dunno, tootz, I like a man with a little musk to 'em."

"Fuck off and fuck you."

"I like man stink~"

You're very much on your own here. The war on Alastor's subpar hygiene will be fought by you and you alone, and you won't be deterred- you've had worse battles before.

When you're once again yanked into Alastor's side and exposed to a faceful of his armpit in the lobby for the upteenth time, you vow to take action against him, more for your sake than his.

Game on.

---

Your strategy calls for small, stealthy actions in the beginning.

Positioning yourself in plain sight at the hotel bar with two cups of coffee, you wait for your target to appear. It's the perfect scene: you, alone (save for the bar cat, but he's passed out with his head down on the counter), with coffee. Alastor can't resist this. Hardly more than three seconds pass before a rush of static and a chill wash over you. A gentle pop sounds off to your left, and then you're greeted by your least favorite radio host smelling stale as ever.

"Good morning, sweetheart!" he cries, purposely shouting too loudly into your ear. "You're looking especially horrid this morning. Did you happen to catch a glance of your reflection in the mirror before it cracked?"

"No, I was too busy imagining all the ways I could skin you alive before eleven."

"Well, it is eight already, so hop to it, you need all the time that you can get to brainstorm!"

As his invisible audience laughs alongside him, you flick a handful of mints into his unguarded coffee cup. The jackass is too busy chortling at his tired jokes to realize that you've done anything at all. Perfect. Holding back your smirk is a damn hard move when Alastor finally lifts his red mug to his full lips and swallows down a mouthful of minty coffee.

Success.

Until-

"Hm..." Alastor hums, blinking his red eyes plainly. Then he promptly turns, spits out a stream of dark liquid onto Husk's bowed head, and snatches up your cup of coffee. After sipping down your drink, he sighs contently. "There, much better! Ah, that was a juvenile play, dear. You're losing your touch."

The deer motherfucker teleports away while you're left with a pissed off cat and determination to win this war.

---

Next comes the idea to douse Alastor in whatever perfume oils you can find as a direct plan of attack. Instead of using your precious concoction that you paid out the ass for from Rosie's Emporium, you decide that these other assholes living around here could stand to help out for five seconds. You're not asking for their support- just their cologne.

Angel is the unlucky winner that you approach since whatever he wears is pungent enough that it has your eyes watering on a good day. The spider leans up against his doorway, legs in your face and fluff looming above your head as you make your case.

"Listen." You crane your head back and fix him with what you hope is an amicable stare. "I'll shoot straight with you. I need a favor."

"Oh?" he asks, raising a perfect brow and examining his gloved fingers. "I don't do girls, sorry not sorry."

"No," you grumble at him. "Not that kind of favor. I need to borrow your perfume- whatever shit you wear is strong enough to be smelled across the Pentagram. All I need is to borrow the bottle for five minutes and I'll have it back to you good as new."

"HA! You think I'm letting you make off with my smell-good for free? No no no, nobody gets to borrow what I wear, not even Cherri. It's custom! You're out of luck."

"You're here at the hotel to redeem yourself- part of redemption is being selfless."

"Actually, I'm at this shitshack so I don't have to pay rent, and redemption don't mean you get a spritz of my good shit. Go ask some other shmuck." Angel laughs in your face one final time, then spins around to shut his door.

"I'll owe you," you spit out. That has the fluffy demon pausing and you fear that you've either royally fucked up or royally succeeded.

"...Owe me what?"

"One favor equal to borrowing your perfume that doesn't involve me getting my ass kicked or double dead."

Angel grins delightedly, retreats into his den, then sticks one spindly arm out with his perfume sitting pretty in his palm.

"Have at it!"

And you do, with fear of Hell's #1 pornstar in your heart.

Alastor comes in to kick your legs under the table during dinner and you immediately whip out Angel's perfume to soak the son of a bastard down. There's an ear-ringing screech before Alastor pops away, leaving you with a table full of coughing, gassed-out hotel inhabitants that are very, very pissed off.

Once Vaggie is done chewing you out, Angel Dust leans over and whispers, "You still owe me for my draining my fucking reserves, dollface."

Fuck.

---

After weeks of attempted baths, desperate tooth-brushing sessions, dirty bribery, and numerous double-death threats, you've decided that you have no choice but to go completely nuclear. Clearly, your rotten plague of a deer demon is determined to resist all attempts to freshen him the fuck up, so you are prepared to pull the dirtiest trick in your book. Forget screaming or cussing; you'll have his ass eating out of the palm of your hand in no time with this.

"Hello, my rotten peach!"

Ahah, it's time- you're about to win this little game no problem. You take one look at Alastor in all his awful glory here in the parlor, steady your face into an uninterested expression, and then you. look. away.

Alastor stares.

"I said, hello, my rotten peach! My fetid fruit! My most crusty crop!" he announces slightly louder as if you didn't hear him.

Nothing. No reaction. You refuse to engage with someone that smells of fragrant toes and has gums darker than his coffee; you'll have him suffering from your silence if those are the dumbass choices he'd like to make.

Just barely concealing his panic at the sudden lack of your attention, Alastor clomps closer, then pokes at your side with his staff. The thing winces from the contact. You, on the other hand, are not weak and will not relent, so you continue to watch the parlor wall with great interest.

All according to plan.

Charlie passes by, humming a happy tune. When she spots you lounging on the couch with Alastor hovering over you, she smiles at the familiar sight, and offers a happy, "Good morning!"

"Morning, Princess," you greet her. Then you return to wall watching.

Alastor wilts.

You smile.

And you play the winning game.

For days, you refuse to acknowledge anything having to do with your favorite least favorite parasite. If he materializes in front of you when you're reading a novel? You don't even flinch. If you awake to him standing over your bed and staring with glowing eyes? Well, there's no need to do anything but roll over, that's just Tuesday. You hardly bat an eye when a black shadow warbles over your shoulder as you brush your teeth; no, you simply show it the brush and toothpaste for a proper tutorial on how to avoid ripe ass breath. You're enjoying the power you hold over Alastor, and you especially enjoy the way his stupid tufts flatten against his head when you deny him any attention for a whole week.

You believe that victory is yours.

---

As you trudge downstairs for another miserable day at the Asscrack Motel or whatever they're calling this place nowadays, you're overwhelmed by a new scent permeating throughout the lobby- freshly cut cedar, something slightly floral and musky, hints of amber, and immaculately washed manass.

Shit.

You know that smell. You know that smell very well. It can only mean one thing.

Then you spot him in all of his glory; Alastor is leaning his spindly body against the hotel bar with a freshly patched suit, styled hair slicked back across his head, and shining teeth. Oh God, he smells and looks like Heaven, and suddenly you decide that maybe you don't give two shits about that white speck in the sky when you've got this presented to you on a metaphorical platter.

With a little grunt, you move closer, appraising Alastor with an indifferent expression. His static is whirring sweetly in the background while he simpers down at you- yeah, he's proud and peacocking a bit, you can tell from the manner in which his lips curl and the way his chest puffs out. Goddammit...he knows that he's got you hooked like a fucking sucker.

"Yeeeeees?" he sings when you stare for a second too long. "Something on your dreadfully empty mind?"

"..." Hm. You could shoot him for being annoying, but he did do all of this dolling up for you.

Ugh. You hate him so much.

So you yank him down by his lapel so you can kiss him square on the mouth. For the first time in a long time, he tastes of mint and sunshine instead of rot and coffee, utterly intoxicating you in the worst of ways. You drag your lips against his and feel that they've been moisturized, and when he bites down on your tongue, there's no slippery plaque to offend your senses.

All of this effort just to get you to look his way.

Good.

Then you release him with a pop, flip him the bird, and walk off with your head held high.

Alastor just hums in satisfaction from his place at the bar, idly commenting, "I've still got it," to a very disgusted Husk and Vaggie who are doing their damndest to ignore the scene.

You'll call this one even.

(Loosely based on a very old conversation with @gemrocknerd).

[latenightreadingpdf]

Hidden in Plain Sight - Dave Lizewski

₊‧⁺˖⋆ Masterlist ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ Part 2 ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ Part 3 ⋆˖⁺‧₊

Summary: When Y/S/N saves Kick-Ass from a dangerous situation, he becomes obsessed with trying to uncover her true identity. Little does he know, Y/S/N is a girl from his school who secretly has a crush on him as well. As they patrol together, their worlds collide in ways neither expected, leading to a surprising revelation about who's really behind the mask.

Y/S/N - Your superhero name

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The night sky over New York had a strange way of making a person feel invincible. Dave Lizewski, aka Kick-Ass, was just starting out his amateur superhero career and was already way in over his head. Sure, he'd gotten a few decent hits in on some petty thugs before, but most of the time, he spent more energy trying not to die than actually fighting crime.

Tonight was one of those nights.

He sprinted down an alley, panting, adrenaline surging through his veins. Behind him, two guys—huge, brawny types who clearly had nothing better to do than terrorize the innocent—chased him with knives. His green suit felt like a second skin, clinging to him with every move, though it wasn’t exactly made for high-intensity situations like this. His lungs burned, and a stitch formed in his side. Not good.

“I swear,” he gasped to himself, “I’m gonna die.”

The alley came to an abrupt dead end. He cursed, turning just in time to see the guys closing in, grinning like they'd won the lottery. He raised his fists, trying to look braver than he felt.

"This... is not going to end well," Dave muttered.

Before either of them could lunge, something fast and powerful blurred from the shadows, hitting one of the thugs with such force that he flew backward, crashing into a stack of crates. The second guy barely had time to react before the figure was on him too, taking him down with an expert kick to the stomach.

Dave blinked in disbelief. The figure straightened, revealing a young woman in a sleek, black suit. It wasn’t flashy, but it looked way more professional than his own green and yellow DIY get-up. She had an aura of confidence and strength that radiated even in the dim light.

And, yeah, Dave noticed, she had a killer figure.

"You... you just saved my life!" Dave stammered.

The girl rolled her eyes behind her mask. “Yeah, and I’m guessing it won’t be the last time, Kick-Ass.”

Kick-Ass. She knew his name.

“Wait, who are you?” he asked, his voice still shaky from the adrenaline.

“Call me Y/S/N,” she said casually, as if saving people from imminent death was just another Friday night. “You really should be more prepared for situations like this.”

“I... I thought I was.”

Y/S/N snorted, crossing her arms. "Really? No backup, no weapons? Just... that?" She gestured to his suit. "You're gonna get yourself killed."

Dave flushed, partly from embarrassment and partly from the rush of adrenaline still coursing through him. “I’ll... I’ll do better,” he promised lamely, watching as she walked away, her silhouette disappearing into the night.

And just like that, she was gone.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

At Atomic Comics the next day, Dave was still riding the adrenaline high from his encounter with the mysterious heroine. His friends, Todd and Marty, sat across from him, distracted by the latest issue of X-Men, while Dave rambled on about her.

“I swear, you guys, she was like something out of The Avengers. She totally saved my ass last night. And she was hot. I mean, like, really hot. Her suit—it was super tight. I could barely focus.”

Todd raised an eyebrow, putting his comic down. “Dude, you’re such a nerd. A hot superhero saves you, and that’s what you focus on?”

Dave shrugged, grinning sheepishly. “I mean, yeah? You didn’t see her. She’s got this whole thing going on—great moves, great...uh...form. Her ass is—”

"Wow. Really going full perv, aren't we?" Marty quipped, rolling his eyes.

Unbeknownst to Dave, someone had been listening. On the other side of a nearby shelf, Y/N, the kind and somewhat popular girl from school, had been browsing comics too. She knew who Dave was—after all, they had a few classes together—but they had never really talked.

Y/N smiled to herself as she overheard Dave’s rant about his superhero crush. Little did he know that she was Y/S/N, the very girl who had saved his life last night. Hearing him talk about her alter-ego like that—saying she was cool, hot, and all that—was...well, flattering in a weird way. And the fact that he was so obviously into her made things a lot more interesting.

Still smiling, Y/N grabbed a random comic, paid for it, and headed out, a plan forming in her head.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Later that week, Dave suited up as Kick-Ass once again, hoping to catch a glimpse of Y/S/N during his patrol. After their first encounter, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. She had this presence that he couldn’t shake off, and it didn’t help that his crush was amplified by the fact that she’d saved him. She was the real deal—a hero, like he wanted to be.

“Kick-Ass.”

Dave turned at the sound of her voice, heart skipping a beat. She was there, perched casually on a rooftop ledge, looking down at him with that same cool confidence.

“Y/S/N!” He tried to sound smooth, but his voice cracked just a little.

“You’re not going to need saving again, are you?” she teased, dropping down to the street in front of him.

“I’ve got it covered this time,” he said, puffing out his chest just a little. “Totally prepared.”

Y/S/N gave him a once-over, amusement flickering in her eyes. “Sure you are.”

The two of them walked together, patrolling the empty streets, though it was a quiet night—too quiet, really.

“So, Kick-Ass,” Y/S/N started, her voice casual. “There’s this guy I go to school with. He’s in a few of my classes.”

Dave’s heart gave a little lurch. Was she... opening up to him? Maybe this was his chance to learn more about her.

“Yeah? What about him?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

“He’s super nerdy, kind of awkward. But he’s... well, he’s hot. Like, really hot.”

Dave blinked. “Wait, what?”

“I bet he’s got... you know, a lot going on,” she continued, her voice dropping slightly. “In more ways than one.”

Dave felt his face flush. “Oh.”

“I can’t focus in class because I’m too busy thinking about him,” she added. “It’s a problem, I don’t know what to do.”

“Wow, okay. Um... who’s the guy?” he asked, not really wanting to know but needing to at the same time.

“Dave Lizewski,” Y/S/N said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Dave stopped dead in his tracks. His brain short-circuited for a second. “Wait... what? Did you just... did you just say Dave Lizewski?”

She turned to face him, her expression unreadable behind her mask. “Yeah, why? You know him?”

“I—uh—” Dave’s thoughts tumbled over each other in a chaotic mess. She knows me. She actually knows me. And she thinks I’m hot?!

Y/S/N didn’t give him any time to process. “Anyway, I gotta run. Crime won’t stop itself.” She gave him a little wave before disappearing into the night once more, leaving Dave standing there, still in shock.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

That night, Dave immediately FaceTimed Todd and Marty, pacing his room in a frenzy.

“Guys! You are not going to believe what just happened!” he blurted out as soon as they answered.

“What is it now, man?” Marty asked, exasperated.

“I think Y/S/N goes to our school.”

Both of them stared at him blankly through the screen.

“No, seriously! She was talking about a guy she likes in her classes. And then she said my name! My actual name!”

Todd snorted. “Okay, but how do you know she’s not just messing with you?”

“I... don’t know. But it seemed real,” Dave insisted. “I think she really goes to school with me. And now I have to figure out who she is.”

He grabbed his old yearbook off the shelf and flipped it open. “There’s gotta be some kind of clue.”

Todd and Marty exchanged skeptical glances but eventually joined in, helping him comb through the yearbook. They scanned faces, trying to match anyone they knew with the mystery of Y/S/N.

“Alright, so we need a plan,” Dave said, leaning over the pages. “Monday, we’re going to do some recon. Check out anyone who might be her. We’ll figure this out.”

Todd and Marty, albeit reluctantly, nodded in agreement.

“Sure, dude. Recon mission on Monday.”

Dave closed the yearbook with a snap, his mind racing. Somewhere in the sea of students, Y/S/N was hiding in plain sight. And now, he was more determined than ever to find out who she was—both in and out of her suit.

Little did he know, Monday would bring him more answers than he could’ve ever expected.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

A/N ~ there’s not enough Kick-Ass fanfics on here and I’m sick of it :( lmk if you want a part 2

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I'm so happy you like my "oblivious König with severe mommy issues" prompt :3 I'm sorry if I made a few mistakes here and there cause English is my swcond language :(

I'm also thinking about König being absloutely snappy and bratty to reader as a defense mechanism, because he's not a baby! He can make his own lunch (frozen pizza), thank you very much, you are not his Mutter!

And reader is just standing there, smiling because she finds him so endearing when he's angry, not taking him seriously at all. She coos at him in her soft voice, saying she's so sorry, she just worries about her baby so much, he's not been feeding himself very well and look- look at your tummy, baby, you used to be bigger and healthier than that, how can I not be worried for my sweetheart? Of course she's stroking his tummy and whispering in his ear while she says that, and he has to stand there frozen or else he will let out the most pathetic whimper known to man.

He will then have to sit there and eat the most delicious meal ever while he's grumbling, frowning while reader offers him cut up slices of peach, his cock leaving a wet patch against his pants.

It gets even more pathetic in the bedroom because reader is just so full of instructions and praise for him. She's not bossy, she guides him with gentle instructions and calls him the worst names when he obeys, like her Perfect Baby and Big Boy and he just gets so riled up (because he's a military man, of course! he likes orders and that's all) he gets frustrated at his own horniness and decides to drill into her harder, and all she can do is call his cock big and he just cums and cums, groaning and whimpering into her neck :((( one day he will she her he is NOT a baby!

YES I love this for him this is exactly what he deserves!!!!

He thought he’d get a helpless pathetic girl to fuck on weekends but now he’s the pathetic one here, gritting his teeth to prevent himself from getting hard when she rubs his scalp and praises him for every single little thing he does. Every time he comes to see her there’s a big warm meal waiting for him, fat wet kisses and a hushed voice pressed next to his ear, asking him whether he had a rough week, poor thing. Poor baby must be so tired, working himself to the bone like that… His cock is pulling and leaking in his pants from her voice alone now, which is just great, just what he needed.

She says he doesn’t need to worry, says she’s here to ease his stress, and he already knows what it means; she’s going to give him infernally good head that will dissolve him into atoms and make him moan so pathetically he’ll never survive the shame that follows. Which means he must prevent it from happening, any way he can, and so he fleshes out a plan to rearrange her guts later from behind so he doesn’t need to look into those loving, nurturing eyes, always praising him for doing so so good.

The whole female population is looking at him through those eyes, cheering him on with love and gentle care, and he wants that shit so much he’s about to punch a hole through a wall and then slump on the floor to have a big fat ugly cry but he can’t do that, no. He has to stay strong and conquer… whatever this is.

And then the plan backfires horribly when she kickstarts a handjob before he’s even finished his meal. After only a minute or two he finds himself staring up at her, eyes wide and helpless and his cock jerking and throbbing and twitching in her hand as she continues to give him slow, long strokes that are sending him to braindead bliss already.

She babbles in his ear and tells him he can cum whenever he wants, he’s deserved it… And before he knows it there are long, thick strings of cum shooting out, a painful, desperate whine of a moan punching through the air. He never knew he could sound so needy. And pathetic... And needy.

His head drops to see the mess he just made, but she’s already cleaning it up, dabbing his lap with a clean, wet towel, looking up at him with a bright, loving smile.

Scheisse…

[moonspirit]

Jealous aruani are fun and all, but...what if it's their friend that's the reason for the jealousy??? No love triangles.

Annie suddenly feels a twinge of irritation when she sees Pieck say something to Armin and they laugh together. Or maybe Armin overhears gossip about how Annie Leonhart and Connie Springer look so cute together. The next time he sees Connie, his stomach twists. And it's terrible!

Considering how Armin and Annie both have self-esteem issues...well, I can see how that could happen. Irritation, doubt, jealousy, and self-loathing for feeling that way about a friend. it's just painful, stupid and awkward. I have no idea how they will solve this😗

Hello jealousy anon! As promised, and thank you for the ask, it made me laugh xD

Because of-fucking-course there's nobody more capable of causing problems for Aruani off more than their very own family xD If you ask me, outsiders don't have the type of talent the other four have in creating misunderstandings and unnecessary chaos xD Plot-required-3rd-party-love-interest who? Move over, here's Connie the Springer man!

At first it's all quite unintentional. Connie spends time with Annie because Circumstances and Coincidence and hardly notices Armin's watery puppy eyes gazing at him from a depressing corner. It's not like Armin ever says anything out loud either because of course, he's happy! He's happy Annie has a silly friend that makes her laugh and forget that she's awkward and possibly frightening around people. He's glad Connie comes prepackaged with a whole lot of shitty jokes that happen to tickle her. He's really fucking glad Connie treats Annie like he treats everyone else!

But. Connie can also... dance. Really well. Like the guy's got those moves and can easily take Annie for a nice spin. He also... makes her laugh, like... a lot? A lot lot? Hm.. has Annie ever laughed like that with me? Uh... yeah, nevermind that, um- oh god, Connie's been looking pretty nice lately in those suits and he's rather good with the whole easy-fashion thing and uh- well shit, it's Connie, he's my friend, he's not- no, I mean, that photo in the newspapers was just an accidental shot, of course Annie was just laughing at his bad joke but well... she did look really happy with him and, oh shit--

Man.

Pieck on the other hand, doesn't fuck with people more than necessary. I don't actually see her getting *too* close with Armin but they do become very good friends! They have a lot in common, (for example music) and vibrate on the same atomic level of "yeah this is wrong and backhanded and probably will get us arrested in 18 countries but lets do it hehe". Hc that they probably get off to a slightly rocky start as Pieck doesn't put much faith in Armin's "naivete" and harbours resentment for his blowing up of Liberio's port, but as time goes by, they grow closer!

Maybe... too much closer for someone's liking 💀

Because okay? Annie gets it, she finds politics too boring and her takes end up being too cynical and skeptical in the room. Technically, she's glad Armin has someone in Pieck who will humour his ideas with a generous (but nice) dash of realism. Also, they enjoy picking out records together and she often finds them nodding their heads to a new tune once home.

She's glad, okay?

She is, she really is-

*sound of a thigh being stabbed followed by sounds of Reiner screaming*

Pieck is a cheerful girl tho 🥲

On a serious note, both Aruani are going to feel like total crap about this jealousy tho. Because as you said, it's their friends, their literal family who they share a lot of time and space with, and if anything could be clear it's that none of them want to see Aruani unhappy. So its not real, it's not anything to worry about, it's all just in their heads-

And yet.

Tbh the extra funny bit about this is gonna be when Connie and Pieck realize what they're doing to their poor lemonheads xD

"What! We're making you jealous?! wHAaT?? ... Hell YEAH, LET'S TURN IT UP!"

🥲🥲🥲🥲

I mean what else did you expect lol, Pieck and Connie are that duo who are going to derive more entertainment from their very own organic, homegrown family-drama than the moving pictures being shown in the town-square.

Suddenly it's all: "HEHE Armin, I bought Annie CAKES, see? FIVE Cakes! FiVE delICIOUS cakes and *I* am going to give it to her! Me!"

and: "Annniieeeeeeee~~ Oh no, why the long face this morning? Btw did you know Armin wants kids? Like a lot of kids? He told me- oh, he didn't tell you? Hehe I thought you'd be the first to know hehehehehe"

Their approaches to fanning this dumpster fire are different 😌

Their solution when things get too Sad?? Lock Aruani up in a room. Always ends well.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I was watching a reaction on YouTube to dune part 2 and when I looked at the comments section there were a few people saying that they didn't understand why chani was angry and felt betrayed at the end of the film, that she should have recognised that Paul's proposal was political and been OK with it. Honestly I was a bit flabbergasted because how do miss the point that badly, how do you get to the end of the movie and not understand why chani is so angry and why she feels betrayed by paul?

Like to me it's very obvious why she's rightly upset and heartbroken and it actually has little to do with paul proposing to irulan, like chani knows it's political and this isn't a jealousy thing, its what the action represents, that paul is making a play for more power. Throughout the film paul makes a series of statements or you could even call them promises that he then breaks.

The first is that he is not the mahdi and that he doesn't want to lead the fremen. He says this at least twice, the first time after his mother drinks the water of life and the second after he and chani make love. He then breaks this promise at the war council when he publicly declares himself the Lisan al gaib and says he will lead them to paradise, making himself their leader.

Speaking of when they made love, in that scene he also promised her that he would always be with her, as long as he breathed, then when he drank the water of life he risked her losing him, she went through that moment of grief and trauma when she thought he was dead. Also he couldn't guarantee before drinking the water that he would survive it, so understandably, she is angry about him taking that risk.

He also promised her that he didn't want power and then he grasped for power again and again, he took on the family atomic arsenal, he took control of the fremen fundamentalists, he made a grab for the throne of the Known Universe when he proposed to the Princess, this was the issue that chani had with paul proposing.

Finally he promised to be her equal. Right before their first kiss she tells him that here on arrakis they are equals and what they do is done for the benefit of all. His reply, his promise to her is that he would like to be her equal but come the end of the film he has placed himself in a position of power over her and her people as the Duke of Arrakis and as Emperor of the Known Universe. Not only that but by asking for the princess' hand he has placed a foreigner, another woman in a position of power and control over chani and her people. The cherry on top is that paul also then commits her people to a holy war that most definitely does not benefit them.

I think the fact that a few of these promises made were done at vulnerably open and emotional moments between them, their first kiss, after they've just made love, makes him breaking them even more painful for her. It's like it now taints those moments because now whenever she thinks back on those moments she'll be reminded of those promises he broke.

I think the situation is so much more complicated than just the man I love has proposed to another woman and now I'm smad and I think that was made really clear in the film. If a guy made you a series of promises and then broke everyone of them you'd be upset. If that same guy had found his way into your heart, if he knew how passionately you felt about your people and how much you hated this prophecy and then still embraced the role of prophet and used your people for his own gain, you'd be upset. Him proposing to another woman was the least of her concerns. Sadly I think the only promise paul does/will keep is the last one he makes her, that he'll love her as long as he breathes, but it's not enough.

And I'm saying all of this as a die hard paulxchani fan who hopes they somehow find their way back to each other.

[velvetvexations]

I'm being stalked by someone who screams that I can't stop talking about her despite her having it made it clear she wants "no contact" and then screenshots my blog to spread more lies about me in spite of the fact that I have her blocked and block evading is supposed to be one of my grievous sins

like literally the most I have talked about her recently was with a coded name that doesn't even reference her URL in response to her taking a screenshot of my post and calling me pro-American because memes are hilarious but IRL seriously I would have preferred 9/11 not have happened

I am still not using her URL or her fucking name while she goes around saying VELVET VEXATIONS SHOULD DRINK BLEACH BECAUSE SHE SAID DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T BELIEVE TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN NOW EXCUSE ME I SAW MY LEAST FAVORITE COLOR AND NEED TO COMPOSE A MELINCHOLY POEM TO PROCESS THE GRIEF IT'S CAUSED ME

every time a transradfem equates discussing how transphobes feel about us is the same as misgendering other trans people, that's fucking pathetic assuming it's a genuine belief and not just something to performatively break into tears over as intoxicatingly self-righteous justification for thinking only the people they fetishize should be allowed to exist

but apparently! this person has another stalker who sends her posts to other people! and that's really interesting to me, you know, because the only post of her's I've ever received from an anon was one in which she was talking about me! And when that person came off anon to say it was them that sent it, she took a screenshot of that admission but did not include me telling them off for stirring shit

too bad I decided to delete the admission due them using her name and can't prove I gave them that dressing down, clearly I shouldn't have fucking bothered since innocence itself is no protection

she seriously can't stop calling me a TERF while actual no-bullshit TERFs are openly calling on one another to email publishers trying to get me canceled for writing a fanfic where it's briefly mentioned a trans teenager wore her sister's clothes without asking, what the fuck does any transradfem know about TERFs when I'm dealing with actual TERFs and all they are to them is an abstract concept used to bludgeon trans men and non-binary people with

these fucking people do not experience actual fucking problems, they do not have any conception of what an actual problem is, they sit around lying about the traitorous Queen of Tee Em Eees, puppet of the completely fictional AFAB patriarchy, because they do not have real problems and have never had one in their entire lives, like all fucking people who can't go five seconds without reminding you they're a communist because they think it's cool and trendy and makes them sound smart to say things like dialetic materialist epistemology transubstantiating within the imperial core of the glocal northsouth without actually engaging in any of the actual ideals that make communism laudable and worthy of sincere pursuit

the temptation is to say that transradfems do it because they feel powerless to do anything about actual social issues on any level and lash out at anyone they can feel good taking a swing at, but I don't give a fuck, I'm not willing to give them that they're just misguided, I don't think there's a single atom in the being of even one transradfem that cares about about anything beyond the clout they can extract from it, at best everything they whine about is less than a fourteen year old on Livejournal writing about how unfair it is when their parents won't let them get a tattoo except usually the the fourteen year old would be relaying actual events that actually happened

and I straight up do not fucking believe anyone gets hate mail over interactions I've had with them either, I fucking do not believe those obviously bullshit lies while I still get anons calling me zipperits and trying to trigger dysphoria on the assumption that works on me for saying I think transmascs aren't cis men

in fact, I kinna half-joked about it before, but I think I now just fully believe it one hundred percent was a fucking trans rad fem - probably even this one in particular! - who sent my published work to that TERF the other day, because I haven't had that pinned or brought it up in months and I've never gotten attention from TERFs before this month outside of one or two comments that went nowhere

motherfucking hellsite

fucking internet

fucking stupid motherfuckers

[ikroah]

I have reached the breaking point, the point of no return, it’s very clear to see a fool like me will never, ever learn. I have reached the breaking point, I hear the drums of doom, I’m gonna flip my wig in one great big atomic boom! —“The Breaking Point,” Bobby Darin (1966)

It Keeps Right On a-Hurtin’ #27 - Ring-a-Ding-Ding VI

Collaborative Issue! Guest Artist: @sas-afras

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Notes / Transcript:

Notes

Huge thanks to Monty over at @sas-afras for getting this one done! I handled the original layout and lettering, but the rest was all them. Layouts like this can seem simple and easy because of how straight-forward and repetitive they are, but when all you've got are a dozen and one reaction shots, every single one of those reaction shots needs to be as perfect as you can get them. And Monty did a hell of a job. Especially on the coloring! Monty, if you're reading this, you're a hell of a good colorist (on top of everything else). Thanks again!

Another note about this issue is that it, along with the previous one, were some of the most difficult to write in this whole damn comic so far. I really hate repeating in-game dialogue verbatim without good reason, but there's really not much else I could do here. It's a very necessary part of the story that is also literally a part in the game where your character is fixed in place listening to a monologue. I took some liberties, did some punch-up, not just for its own sake but to really drive home what I find most interesting and vital here about Mr. House as a character.

Anyway, Agnes is in trouble. And there's only one issue left in Volume 2! The next one closes out this arc of the story, at long last. Stay tuned.

Transcript

INT. LUCKY 38 BASEMENT. From an observation deck of sorts, AGNES SANDS watches several SECURITRON robots position themselves in a testing area, containing several sandbags, dummies, and makeshift fortifications. A voice booms from an unseen speaker.

MR. HOUSE: You're well familiar with my Securitron police force. But have you ever wondered: what exactly makes them the marquee option in perimeter security and pacification?

AGNES glances in the direction of the voice, uncomfortable.

MR. HOUSE: Well to start, the reinforced titanium alloy housing of each unit, which protects its electronic core, easily deflects small arms and shrapnel.

MR. HOUSE: As for its offensive capabilities, its X-25 gatling laser—produced to spec by Glastinghouse, Inc.—is deadly against soft targets at medium range.

SFX: BZZTZZTZZTZZTZZT

AGNES recoils as a red glow washes over her from the testing area.

MR. HOUSE: And then for close-range suppression or crowd control, the Securitron is also armed with a 9mm sub-machinegun.

SFX: DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA

AGNES shuts her eyes, wincing from the crack of gunfire.

MR. HOUSE: These features have been sufficient for keeping the peace within Vegas, but with the NCR and Legion closing in on Hoover Dam, and sizing up my city like a piece of prize cake, more than ever we need to be prepared for, well...external conflict. Policing is one thing, but when geopolitical powers are involved, my Securitrons can only pose so much of a threat.

MR. HOUSE: That is...if they're forced to rely exclusively on their secondary weapons--as they have been, all this time!

AGNES looks upward, surprised.

MR. HOUSE: Remember, the Great War interrupted a pivotal moment for RobCo's work. Consequently, all extant Securitrons have been stuck, running on a mere Mark I operating system—the first production version of the OS—which has simply lacked the software drivers for the use of their primary weapons all this time!

AGNES looks around, as if HOUSE were in the room somewhere and she could find him, in a panic.

MR. HOUSE: The platinum chip, you see, was never just a token. At a time when industrial espionage ran rampant, it was minted as a high capacity, proprietary, and uniquely irreplicable data storage device. In a way, it's more like a computer chip. And now—with the data from the platinum chip finally installed onto my nextwork—it's time for a very crucial software update. Behold: the new Mark II Securitrons!

AGNES gawks downward at the testing area, eyes wide. Oh no.

MR. HOUSE: Their newly accessible M-235 Missile Launcher gives them the ability to engage ground and air targets at significantly longer ranges...

SFX: PSSSSSHHH KTHOOM THOOM THOOM THOOM

AGNES flinches, covering her face for protecting, and screams as explosions rip apart the testing area below.

MR. HOUSE: ...and their rapid-fire G-28 grenade launching system, another part of the Mark II, makes them much more powerful in close-range engagements as well.

SFX: THMP THMP THMP KRRSSH KRAKTK KABOOM

AGNES, nearly frozen, watches the bombardment with horror.

MR. HOUSE: It also includes rewritten drivers for the Securitrons' auto-repair systems—although always sophisticated, the new optimizations render them inexhaustible in even the most protracted and attritious of engagements. Altogether, the Mark II upgrade confers a 235% total increase in combat effectiveness per unit—and it's all because of you!

AGNES lowers her arm slowly, jaw slack, mortified.

MR. HOUSE: Vegas finally has an army—worthy to protect not just the city itself, but the best interests of all of mankind, at home and abroad. Which is to say: this simple display of might remains a mere teaser for what I can, and what I will, accomplish, in an illustrious new epoch.

AGNES sinks further into a paralytic terror.

MR. HOUSE: What we will accomplish, Agnes—should you accept my offer, of employment. Ah—but I digress. I'm certain that you've had a long day. You can rejoin Miss Cassidy in the presidential suite for the night, if you'd like to, as they say, "sleep on it."

MR. In fact...say for as long as you'd like. However long you may need, to think everything over. And you'll be very well provided for in the meantime, consider it a taste of what could be...should you make the right choice before you.

MR. HOUSE: That reminds me—I've already sent Victor to collect your belongings from the Vault 22 Hotel, so no need to exhaust yourself further by making that trip on your own, hm? There's much about your future to consider, Agnes—and I would like you to think of it as our future.

AGNES stares straight ahead with a deadened expression.

The testing area in the basement has been reduced to smithereens. Fires rage on the rubble of obliterated structures, gnarled steel, and collapsed walkways. The dummies have been dismembered entirely.

MR. HOUSE: ...Goodness, what a mass. With friends like these, I sure wouldn't envy my enemies.

MR. HOUSE: Wouldn't you agree?

[wlwanakin]

I absolutely agree that Anakin would’ve fallen sooner if he didn’t have Padmé by his side! She really brought out the best in him, and he felt the most happy with her which kept him together. Without her, he 1000% would’ve probably fell the minute Shmi died. Anakin having those visions of Padmé in ROTS really gave Palpatine the shortcut to his end goal. Otherwise Anakin would not have ever fallen, if he never saw those dreams.

BtwI loved your ship ask post! Do you have any other Anidala headcanons you could share with us? 👀 of course, no pressure if you don’t <3

yeah anakin’s constantly surrounded by people who view and treat him as Potentially Dangerous and padmé is pretty much the only person who isn’t doing that at all and she asserts his goodness more than anyone, and without her it’s like. if you treat someone like an atomic bomb consistently enough they’re going to start exploding. and without her all he’s got left is people who treat him like an atomic bomb. don’t see how anyone thinks that could end well.

and thank you!! i have so many headcanons so here are some lighthearted quick fire ones off the top of my head:

anakin loves affectionate biting. if a part of padmé that’s feasibly bitable is near his mouth he will bite it. he nibbles at her ear. he bites her shoulder. he chomps her hand. he bites her bottom lip when they kiss. padmé complains but she actually loves it and thinks it’s adorable and when he actually leaves a mark she’s like awww. after a while she just starts biting him back

padmé loves playing with anakin’s hair and if it is in her reach she’ll just start braiding it. doesn’t matter what else is happening. they could be having the most serious conversation in the world and there she is putting little braids in his hair. at a certain point anakin starts coming home with hairstyle requests and playing hairstylist becomes a way to kill an evening

tangential to this another fun thing they will do occasionally is doll anakin up bc he has literally never worn anything besides what is essentially his work uniform and anything else is like the most exciting thing ever and padmé thinks he looks so pretty in makeup

they shower together as much as they possibly can and part of that is shower sex but it’s mostly for the intimacy. they are allergic to not being close to each other of course they can’t be apart for a whole shower

in general they’re the clingiest people in the galaxy and when they’re home alone they are very rarely not putting their hands under each other’s clothes. and again this mostly not horny they really just would be skin to skin 24/7 if that were an option

mentioned this in the post you mentioned but i will reiterate that neither of them are particularly culinarily skilled but they love cooking together so much because it’s an excuse to be in close proximity for a few hours and sometimes they’ll even make something edible. win win! anakin is actually decent at cooking on his own but padmé’s presence is so distracting and her lack of skill is so great it brings them both down and that right there is true love

they don’t fight often but on the rare occasions they do it’s pretty explosive (mostly on anakin’s end) because anakin has Major Issues and this is quite literally the only non-hierarchical relationship he’s ever had, and in a way it’s also padmé’s but in the opposite direction because her only friends ever have been her employees, and boy oh boy can that collide in weird ways. and they resolve it fast enough but they always end up plagued by the fact that they can never fully understand each other because they’re spiritually clingy too and i think if they had it their way padmé would be able to read anakin’s mind and anakin would literally just merge with padmé into some eldritch being. and then they’d never fight again <3

tangentially their worst fights typically lead into their best fucks. they really cannot stay mad at each other at all they find it unbearable

that is broadly all i can think of for now but i definitely have more because i have unfortunately been plagued with star wars brainworms since i was in the seventh grade. i love anidala i love thinking about them i love talking about them i know them better than my own family at this point

[generouskittentidalwave]

Astro boy reboot, oh boy

So news of the new Astro boy reboot series broke out like WILD FIRE and as I predicted the fandom that has been waiting so long for it is very worried of how it'll turn out

But honestly

I'm actually quite hyped for it.

They removed the Miraculous creator from working on it which is a great start in my book THANK THE HEAVENS. Secondly I don't mind Astro having a girl he has feelings for at 9 as that happened in the 80s version and it was genuinely very sweet (ya know until she was found out to be a bomb and the two had to heartbreakingly seperate by her needing to be taken apart which destroyed the fandom's hearts). And he had plenty of crushes over the years so I'm not phased by it.

The only thing I hope for is that they don't make her human, because the problem with a robot child being together with a normal human child is the fact that she can age and he can't as he is permanently stuck with the mind and body of a 9 year old, so OOOO THAT RELATIONSHIP WILL BE *BAD* IN THE LONG RUN IF THEY MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP A PERMANENT THING AND NOT TEMPORARY.

Now to talk about some other things, I am actually really excited for the plot. It's a very slept on plot on the idea that Astro has to keep his robot identity secret from others to blend in as human and sometimes not even discovering he is a robot himself till later as usually unless told or shown otherwise Astro is mistaken to be a normal human child. That idea of self discovery and finding about who you are, who can from, and who you decide to be is a core trait for Astro and I find the plot as a cool way to show that.

And speaking of which, the elephant in the room. Tobio. By the looks of the plot it makes it known that Astro is gonna have the hero name be Astro when he is fighting and will most likely be called Atom by others AND I HOPE I PRAY TEZUKA GOD OF MANGA YOU BETTER HELP HERE I HOPE that they actually keep in and address the fact that Astro/robot Tobio is a robotic replacement by a father gone mad of his 9 year old dying in a tragic car accident as it's a CORE part of his character. The implication that robot Tobio has been living as a replacement in this series and is discovering himself and who he truly is by becoming Astro would be SO COOL

Lastly, the cgi, ima be honest it looks pretty decent. I like the way it looks as we could've gotten something so much worse if it was animated like Miraculous believe me. It looks bright, cartoony and colorful which ppl associate with it causing stir for it being aimed towards kids but the original Astro boy was also aimed towards kids in that same goofy cartoon style. What made it memorable was the story, the meaning, how a goofy and silly looking manga who could hold such darkness and truth and bringing to light deep societal and human issues while dealing with the inner turmoil of a boy trying to find out who he truly is beyond what he was made for. That he isn't a replacement, that he isn't just a robot. So as long as they are able or atleast TRY to hit that mark, then that's what matters to me more than the style.

In conclusion, it's just the pitch idea mind you, just a summed up concept. Everything is subject to be changed and tweaked as things get made and processed. For all we know it could end up being something completely different. The fandom has a reason to be on edge but we should be atleast a bit more open minded towards it until we see it in action it might not be another 2003 but it's definetly no 2009. And as for the ones working on it with both Tezuka productions and the fandom holding them at gunpoint over a series we've waited nearly a decade for, that better encourage them to give out one hell of a series.

Also Tenma and Oshan better be the same divorced science dads we all know and love or I swear to god-

[lesvegas]

FNV Quest Mods That Don't Suck

I know I've made modlists before but talk of DLC-sized mods made me want to make another. Big, DLC-sized quest mods are nine times outta ten messy, poorly-made and poorly-written, feel like they should've been fo3 mods, or have numerous other qualities that are detestable to normal people with taste. I've played most of the popular ones and hate nearly all of them. Here are the ones I actually can recommend.

Note: I also highly recommend having a proper modding setup before installing any of these. Everyone and their mother has already recommended the Viva New Vegas guide before because it works and it's beginner-friendly.

Allow me to spare your dash by putting this list under a cut.

"DLC-sized" Quest Mods

Boom to the Moon - A quest where you go to the moon (yes, really) to find out what happened to a man's wife. I promise it's way better than I could possibly describe. Honestly I recommend almost all of Jokerine's mods for her attention to detail and all the cool shit she makes. This quest mod doesn't even end with the moon trip, you'll also get the best-written mod companion I've ever seen. Seriously please give this one a try if nothing else on this list.

Autumn Leaves - A murder mystery in an archival library vault inhabited by Protectrons. Story so good Bethesda stole it to make a fo4 DLC. No combat, no need for weapons or companions. WARNING: if you suck at navigating vaults like I do you may have a bad time finding stuff (there's a walkthrough in the files). Also some of the lines are a bit odd because the author's first language isn't English. Also one character is a bigot in every way possible because he's intentionally designed to be as punchable as possible. Despite all of this it's still easily one of the best quest mods I've ever experienced.

Unfortunately, making quest mods DLC-sized in general leaves ample opportunity for shit to get messy fast, so honestly your best bet for quest mods is smaller scale, vanilla-feeling mods. So while I highly recommend the above mods, I'd recommend the following ones even more for a more seamless experience.

"Vanilla-feeling" Quest Mods

The Collector - A quest given by a broker in which you collect debts from gamblers. Similar to the Atomic Wrangler quest Debt Collector.

Caravan Tournament - Do you suck at Caravan? Skill issue. Play this anyway and tell me how it feels to lose because I'm sure it's just as interesting as winning but I'm too good at Caravan to to see it for myself. If you get good you get to see a tiny Robobrain wearing a hat.

Working On The Chain Gang - A Powder Ganger Quest Mod - Okay, technically this makes a second faction of Powder Gangers that aren't affected by your reputation with the vanilla Powder Gangers (so yes, even if they hate you, you can experience this mod). These new Powder Gangers reorganize themselves into a legitimate faction that blends seamlessly into the Mojave NPC ecosystem.

The Moon Comes Over the Tower - This one is technically cut content, but that just means it's peak vanilla-feel. Restores the rest of the quest where Emily Ortal asks you to bug Mr. House's network in which you actually have to travel to places to do it.

Okay, these ones are silly, but trust me

Among Us But It's Fallout - It's a vault with a murder mystery you get to solve! Memes aside it's honestly really well done and you should try it.

The Hollander Hotel and Casino - For a quest involving a haunted hotel (no jumpscares, don't worry), this one feels a little goofy at times, especially with The Shining references and the guy outside selling nothing but 500 bottles of Sunset Sarsaparilla. But you should give it a try anyway.

Legion Quests

Haven't done a Legion run not because you don't like being a bad guy, but because the Legion route feels lacking? Try some of these.

Legion Quests Expanded - Adds more Legion quests and expands several vanilla quests.

A Golden Opportunity - Legion El Dorado Quest - A quest where the Legion goes in and shuts down the NCR's El Dorado station.

Five Card Ante - A Legion Quest Mod - A quest parallel to Three Card Bounty in which you get to eliminate the NCR's First Recon.

Yes I Would Actually - A Legion Quest Mod - You know how Bitter Springs has three quests you can do for the NCR? Well, now you can do them for the Legion instead. You can even recruit help from the Great Khans to fuck the NCR's shit up.

[roseblog-rog]

She Actually Built a Shrink Ray…

(contains g/t mouthplay, g/t fearplay, and dubcon)

My best friend—Jamie—told me a while ago that she was working on a big project. After some prying from my end, she revealed it was going to be some sort of laser that would…do something with, like, atoms? And it would decrease them…I think? Maybe? When she started using science talk I kinda zoned out.

But she eventually dumbed it down for me, saying it would make whatever object it hits far smaller, which actually kinda made sense.

“So, a shrink ray? Like Honey, I Shrunk the Kids?”

“Yeah, something like that…but what the fuck are you talking about? Shrinking kids n’ shit??”

“WHAT??? YOU DON’T KNOW THAT MOVIE???? IT’S A CLASSIC!”

“Nah you made that shit up.”

For someone so smart she’s a complete dumbass. Or maybe it’s just not a popular movie…

Anyways, it’s not that I doubted her ability, per se, but I was highly skeptical about whether that was even possible. I mean sure, the idea of shit from Honey, I Shrunk the Kids being real was very intriguing…but could she do it?

That question was finally answered today when she sent me a text saying ‘HAZELLLLL COME OVER NOWWWW ITS SUPER DUPER IMPORTANT 😱😱😱’, and I arrived to her house only to be dragged to her lab where I found…well…a big laser. It really did look like something out of a movie, appearing very similar to Wayne Szalinski’s own creation.

This is where I am now: staring at the large machine, shock and some slight skepticism evident. “Is–is this…?”

“You bet your ass it is! Here lemme show you.” She ran over to a box containing several big red building blocks, taking one out and putting it on a stool where the laser was aimed. She then moved over to some sort of control panel and fiddled with some switches until the tip of the laser was glowing yellow.

I watched in awe; her genuine scientific prowess never ceases to amaze me. Still, I couldn’t help but make a remark. “Y’know, I honestly expected the beam to be red. Maybe some blue glow mixed in.” I smirk.

She glared at me playfully. “Well sooorryyyy it’s not exactly like your stupid obscure movie.”

We laughed as she finished activating the machine. She beckoned me to her side and we both watched as an actual laser was fired onto the building block, making it glow in a similar shade to the beam itself. My mouth then hung open in complete awe as I watched the once large block slowly shrink until it was about as big as a fingernail. She then turned off the machine, and we both went to look at the results. Sure enough, the block was intact, and I picked it up between my fingers to get a closer look.

Well holy fucking shit. The block was exactly the same aside from the now smaller size, and I could see Jamie grinning out of the corner of my eye.

“This is…this is, well, revolutionary.” I couldn’t believe she built this thing, still caught up in the shock of it all.

“Oh but thats not all! Put the block back on the stool.” She instructed, rushing back to the control panel. I could tell she was just as excited about this as I was, if her happy little bounces and giggles were any indication.

I placed the block back and returned to my position beside her, noticing the tip of the laser was now glowing purple instead of yellow. The process then repeated, only this time I watched the block grow back to its original size. Incredible.

“I still can’t believe you actually managed to pull this off…”

“You saying you doubted me?” She gave me another lighthearted glare. “Aaaaanyways, you ready?”

Ah. Right. Because I love and trust Jamie more than anyone, also seeing her capabilities firsthand, I volunteered to help test her machines as a human subject. Is there an ethical issue with this arrangement? Maybe, but it’s cool.

However…

While nothing bad has ever happened to me as a result of previous tests, Jamie has a tendency to…mess with me during the process. She knows her machines more than I do, therefore knowing exactly how to fuck with me. Like the time she built some sort of emotional amplifier, activating it whenever I laughed until I was quite literally pissing myself and breathless on the ground laughing. Or the time she built that stupid artificial spider drone—Jeffrey, the fucker—and kept making it crawl into my peripherals to scare the shit out of me.

I love her to death but she can be a real pain in the ass during tests, using my misery to fully test the capabilities of her machines. The sadist.

This time though…this time was different. I would be completely at her mercy, too tiny to do anything but accept whatever she does. It was…thrilling, honestly. Will it be scary? Probably. Will I get annoyed? Maybe.

But she wouldn’t hurt me.

“Yeah yeah okay whatever, let’s get this over with.” I sat down at the stool, and Jamie gave me a knowing smirk. I watched the laser—which was now pointed at me—start to glow yellow again, but despite the nerves I could never miss a joke opportunity.

“I am not missing the mall today.” I huffed and rolled my eyes, truly embodying my inner Amy. Jamie just stared at me with the most deadpan stare I’ve ever seen.

“I am so glad I finished building this so I don’t have to deal with your bullshit about this movie you’re so obsessed with.”

“Oh cmonnnnn. Youuuu loveeee meeeeee~” I taunted in my singsong voice. But at that moment she smiled and the machine was activated.

The feeling of the beam hitting me is…hard to describe. The best word I can think of is tingly. An almost soft and fuzzy sensation filled my body as I watched the world around me get bigger and bigger. It was one thing to see an object shrink, but a whole different experience to actually see the world grow while you get smaller. Tables grew taller, tools became gigantic, things that were once so close by slowly felt miles away. Even the stool I was sitting on transformed into more of an open landscape in my eyes.

After some time the world stopped warping around me, and I stood up to take in my surroundings. I was so familiar with Jamie’s lab, and yet it seemed like a completely new room from this perspective. I could notice cracks and rough edges around me with more clarity, notice particles of dust flying through beams of light. I glanced down from the stool and it felt like I was on top of a whole fucking mountain. This was absolutely insane, like h—

“Holy shit!” Jamie’s voice boomed through my ears, and I had to raise my hands to cover them from the vibrations that practically shook my whole body. My ears started ringing. A shadow now loomed over me, and looking up I could see Jamie towering above. From the look on her face, though barely legible due to the distance, she seemed to notice my more sensitive hearing.

“Oops, sorry Hazey.” Her voice fell to a calmer speaking tone, which no longer rattled my eardrums as I slowly lowered my hands. “I can’t believe that actually worked!”

I laugh, smirking. “Oh look who’s doubting herself now.”

She pauses for a moment, then speaks again. “I can barely hear you.” She chuckles. “That’s new.”

“Hey!” I pout, also noticing she’s cupped her hands. She lowers them down to the stool, and it looks like an offer to climb in. I accept, stepping onto her palm and balancing myself.

“Just don’t lift me up too—“ I feel her hands rocket up towards her face, and I fall over from the sheer force of it. Dark spots quickly faded in and out of my vision “…quickly.”

She chuckles softly. “Sorry about all this, you’d think I’d have thought about how to properly treat you with how much preparation I did.” I stood back up and met her eyes. They were huge, and I could really take in the rich shades of brown within her irises. “But speaking of you,” she left me standing on one hand while she moved the other to ruffle my hair with her pointer finger, “you are so fucking cute! You’re like a little speck on my hand!!”

I blush furiously, not used to being the short one. “Hey! I’m not that small!” Being in her hand I could see I was about the size of half her finger.

“Awwww poor wittwle thing~” She continued to coo and rub the top of my head. I hate the fact that it actually felt really good. Is this how she was gonna mess with me this time? Taunting me for being short?

“Stoppppp!” I whined through giggles, starting to melt at the contact but being unable to actually do anything about it. I already know my face is completely red. She knows me too fucking well.

Her finger starts to softly shove me around a bit, rubbing ever so often. I get a bit dizzy from the overwhelming tenderness of it all.

“Hehe! You’re such a fun little toy!”

That comment makes my mind and heart stutter, and I really start to take in just how powerless I am in this situation. I begin feeling a bit of wetness in my panties, but try to keep those thoughts at bay. As far as I know, Jamie isn’t interested in sex or anything of the sort. Besides, we’re friends. I’ll just enjoy the soft shoves and rubs and coos, that’s more than enough.

But then I notice that blush has crept onto her face as well, and she slowly smirks as her finger stops playing with me. She gently pinches the back of my shirt, lifting me up, and now I’m really helpless. I instinctively and slowly start to flail around to free myself from her grip, but to no avail.

I’m in front of her mouth now, and her lips are slightly parted. I can feel how heavy she’s breathing, warm air pushing out and brushing against my skin. Her breath smells nice, it’s honestly kind of soothing.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this. Sorry in advance.” With that being my only warning, she fully opens her mouth and sticks her tongue out. She’s salivating a lot, and the realization of what she’s doing dawns on me.

“Wait! Wait wait wait wait!” She drops me onto her tongue as I beg and squirm, but no matter how much I try to crawl off of her tongue I cannot get any sort of grip. I keep slipping and falling helplessly as her tongue snakes back into her mouth with me on it.

“No no no no no please! Jamie!” But it’s too late. I’m fully inside her mouth at this point, her tongue now flipping me over to hold me down against the bottom of her mouth. I try to push myself out, but she’s too strong. I feel tears start enter my eyes.

“I don’t mean to scare you. I swear I’m not like…eating you or something. I just…” She trails off, and her mouth fully closes.

I honestly never realized just how dark the mouth is when closed, because it’s open whenever I look into mine. But now I get the real experience. It’s dark. Very dark. The air around me is also very thick and humid, the warmth of her tongue and copious amounts of saliva contributing heavily. It also smells completely like Jamie’s breath in here—I mean, obviously—but overwhelmingly so. I can hear her breathe through her throat from my position under her tongue.

Her throat. Right.

Well, she said she wasn’t gonna eat me…but what the fuck is happening then? Is this just another scare prank? Is she secretly a cannibal and just lied to make me struggle less? I’m at a complete loss.

I feel her moving around now, hear her searching through drawers for something. The vibrations of her footsteps ripple through the mouth, bouncing me between her wet tongue and the floor. As scary as this is, the warmth is comfortable, and the moisture surrounding me is actually pretty arousing.

Fuck, I’m trapped in my now-giant friend’s mouth and all I can do is be a whore. Typical, honestly.

I try to move again but I’m still being held down, and suddenly I hear Jamie stop searching. A breath of relief moves up through her throat and out her lips, giving me a brief glimpse of light before it is snuffed out once again.

I’m not even scared anymore, honestly. I’m just bored. This sucks actually. If you’re gonna scare me like this at least up the stakes.

I feel her move around some more until she sits down on what is either a couch or her bed. Regardless, I felt the bounce.

“Jamieeeeee!” I try to yell out to her, hoping she hears me from in here. “What the fuck is going on?!” I need answers and if nothing else I can try to get them.

“Just—! Please let me have this.” I’ve never heard her like this before, voice so shaky and desperate. I feel some fear creep back in, but this time it’s for her rather than me. “I need you, Hazel.” I’m still confused until I hear the familiar buzz of a vibrator.

Oh.

Oh shit.

She…this…huh????? I can barely process what this actually means before I hear moans reverberating up from her throat, the pool of saliva around me starting to grow. I can feel her body start to shake with arousal, also starting to notice her tongue snaking back.

I’m able to stand up now, but it takes extra effort with how soaked I am in saliva. It’s heavy and slick, almost keeping me down. I can feel my clothes completely stuck to my body, making it very obvious that I’m hard. My heart rate and breathing are also picking up, both from shock and the resurgence of my arousal from before getting put in here.

Then her tongue leaps at me before I can react, pushing me against her gums repeatedly as I squirm to break free. It’s bigger than my entire body, each lick completely drenching me in more gooey spit. As much as I should be disgusted, this sensation is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s so warm and wet and comfortable, sending tingles of pleasure from my crotch throughout my entire body. Her moans pick up with each lick as well, and I truly start to realize just what she meant when saying ‘I need you.’

Her tongue quickly gets more frantic and suggestive, lapping my entire lower body from my feet up to my crotch, and I already feel incredibly sensitive and brainless as the motions continue. I can’t help but join Jamie in moaning. Instinct overtaking me, I remove my clothes as best I can while being bombarded with wet sensations. I manage to get my shirt and bra off first, and Jamie quickly notices what I’m doing as she focuses her tongue movements towards my now exposed upper body instead. This makes her moan even louder, if that’s even possible at this point.

My pants come next, and this takes some effort given how wet and sticky they are, combined with the fact that I’m still being licked mercilessly against a giant row of teeth. When the pants are lowered enough to reveal my panties, Jamie moves her tongue back down to my crotch. With one less cloth barrier, the overwhelming sensations are too much to handle, and I orgasm. I can feel my panties grow even wetter despite how soaked they already are. Jamie stops for a moment, taking in the taste of my leakage as it drips down my thighs and into the pool of saliva below me. Her tongue feeling me up as I continue to leak honestly feels so pathetic, and I can’t help but whimper.

Once Jamie finally realizes just what she’s tasting, she goes feral. Her tongue picks me up and shoves me over to her molars, placing me down carefully only to bite specifically at my pants and panties to rip them off. I’m finally completely naked. I’m then forcefully sent sliding towards her lips, pushed through so that my upper body dangles out of her mouth while my legs stay inside. She has her lips pressed tightly against my crotch, and she begins sucking on me while simultaneously licking relentlessly at my taint. It’s too much, sliding back and forth on her lips like this, grinding against such intense moisture, feeling that giant tongue absolutely lick me clean. I can’t think straight.

My vision is blurry in the light after having been in darkness for so long, but I can see Jamie vibing her clit. She’s shaky and wet, her frantic breaths pushing against my body as I rest my upper half against her lower lip.

I already feel close to a second orgasm, but then Jamie’s vibrator turns off. Her mouth opens wide, tongue licking her lips while I’m dragged along against her skin underneath. I’m then plucked up by my legs, dangling in front of her face. I am completely drenched, drop after drop of saliva falling down and hitting her body. We’re both breathing heavy, faces red. She looks at me, and from my upside down view I can see her smile before I’m sent down between her thighs.

Warm. That’s the first word that comes to mind. I’m shoved against her clit, and I immediately start humping. We’re both completely soaked so the grinding is smooth. Jamie’s moans from high above me reverberate through my ears, and I can feel her get wetter by the second. Her grip doesn’t let up, and she actually starts to rub me against her forcefully. She doesn’t need her vibrator now, she can just use me. I cum again, becoming even more slicked up as I’m slid up and down across her crotch. I can’t tell whether I’m more covered in her saliva or my cum anymore, I’m too brainless and soaked to process. She is in complete control of me; I’ve become nothing but her glorified sex toy.

She starts tensing, squeezing her thighs together tightly, and she quickly shoves me inside her hole. It’s a similar environment to the mouth but far more constrictive. Oppressive. Her walls push against me as I squirm and stimulate her, barely being able to breathe from her scent and moisture completely overpowering me.

Finally, she cums, and I hold my breath as I am once again completely drenched in her. I manage to get pushed out right in between her thighs, stuck pressed there until she unclenches. It’s all so much, so many new and euphoric sensations. I’m breathing heavier than I’ve ever breathed before, feeling like I might pass out at any moment. Yet I cannot stop myself from huffing her scent like my life depends on it, cannot slow my racing heart after everything that just happened to me.

When she unclenches, I do not go sliding down her thigh. Rather, I remain stuck there, practically webbed by the saliva and cum I’ve quickly become accustomed to being drenched in. Strings of fluid connect me to her other leg. I want more. I can get an explanation later, I just need to be back in her mouth again. Back inside her. I already feel myself start to dry up and I whine, trying to squirm out of the adhesive I’m trapped in.

I hear a breathless chuckle from above as I am carefully ripped from my prison, once again left dangling in front of Jamie’s face.

“Wow, so d-desperate for more? I g-g-guess I was right. You are a fun little toy.” She stutters and takes deep breaths as she speaks, likely just as brainless from pleasure as I am.

“P-please put me back in your mouth. I need—I need to feel your tongue again.” I blush furiously at the plea, already feeling myself ready to cum again. This is so fucked.

“Of course, Hazey. Anything for you.” And with that, Jamie opens her mouth and drops me inside once again.

Feeling the warmth of her breath and saliva is a comfort I could never take for granted. Her tongue is gentler this time, hums of approval ringing from her throat as she savors every taste of me. I let myself relax for a bit as she feels me up, catching my breath while still feeling highly aroused from the licking. Once my heart rate is under control, I slowly stand and wrap my body around her tongue as best I can. I then begin to thrust myself into it over and over again, my cock sliding against the impossibly warm and slick surface. It feels amazing.

A chuckle sounds from Jamie’s throat as I hump, and I feel her body rise as she begins to—presumably—clean up. I’ve gone from a sex toy to a simple form of stimulation for her mouth. A thing to mindlessly flick around and play with while she goes around and focuses on other tasks. The thought makes me blush ever so slightly more.

I feel myself get close to a third orgasm, but her tongue quickly goes back to overpowering me, pushing me towards her molars once again. This time, however, she bites down on me. Not enough to injure or kill me, but enough to keep me trapped with just enough pain that I still feel good. My lower body is facing her tongue, but I cannot see what it’s actually doing. From the feel of it, it doesn’t seem like she’s doing anything to me anymore. Is she just going to leave me here? Prevent me from reaching the orgasm I was so close to? My train of thought is interrupted, however, when her tongue suddenly goes to fondle my crotch and taint. The surprise of receiving such overwhelming sensations out of nowhere makes me moan loudly, feeling myself just on the edge of cumming.

But. Then she stops again. Oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.

She repeats this process multiple times: fondling me by surprise only to stop just before I orgasm. No matter how much I try to squirm out of her teeth, how much I try to maneuver my arms to touch myself, it’s no use. I quickly become brainless and whiny, eventually deciding to cry out pleas for her to let me cum.

After enough begging, she finally relents, licking me once again but this time without stopping. I’m still trapped under her molars, but I thrash around wildly as I’m finally able to let myself go all over her tongue. I all but scream as the feeling fills my body. I don’t care how embarrassing it may sound, all I can focus on is releasing my pent up pleasure all over her. I feel each burst of cum exit me, all of which bringing more and more pangs of overwhelming euphoria. More and more pathetic sounds. I feel elated. Wet, shaky, dizzy, and elated.

As I come down from the climax, her teeth let me go. I look at my body to see massive red teeth marks across my chest. Woah. I try to stand up, but I’m so shaky and filled with pleasure that I immediately fall over. Her tongue takes that as an opportunity to pick me up and bring me towards her lips. Her mouth opens and I am released once again, only this time her tongue slowly angles down so that I slide off into her cupped hands below.

She holds my small and soaked body tenderly as I regain my senses, raising her hands so I’m at eye level. I look at her face and am shocked to see tears falling down rapidly.

“I’m sorry Hazel! I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m s—“

“Hey hey hey! I’m okay! I don’t know what that was, but I feel fine. Good, even!” I try to comfort her, sitting up and gently rubbing her palm with my hand. “Although, I would like to ask…why? Why did you do all this?” Sue me, I wanna know.

Jamie sniffs, the tears not slowing down. “I—I—I’m in love with you, Hazel.”

I freeze, and for a moment my heart stops. I say nothing, and she continues.

“And—and I was too afraid to ask you out or admit my feelings because you’re so…” She looks closely at me now, eyes filled with stars at the sight of me. ME?? “…you. I’ve loved you for a while now; your smile, your voice, your authenticity, your laugh, your jokes, your absolute beauty, even your stupid fucking movie obsession.” I wet chuckle at that, feeling tears falling down my eyes as well. “You are the only person I ever want to love, Hazel…and I ruined it. I got too desperate. I used you. I’m so fucking sorry.”

I stand up now, and gesture for her to move me closer to her face. She complies, and once I’m close enough I rush to hug her cheek. I really start bawling now, so overwhelmed from the affection.

“I—I’ve loved every moment spent with you, Jamie! You’re so fucking smart and funny and sweet and an absolute dumbass. There isn’t a part of you I don’t want to cherish. I…I love you too.” I manage to get out through sobs, feelings I had no idea were there finally coming up to the surface. “To be honest…I didn’t think you’d ever want to be with, well, someone like me.” I step back from her cheek now, wrapping my arms around myself in a pitiful hug.

Jamie bends her head forward, pressing a giant but soft kiss onto my head as I cry. “Oh, Hazel…you know that doesn’t bother me. I mean shit, I watched by your side as you slowly become the person you’ve always wanted to be. It’s admirable! You’ve become so much happier and genuine with yourself. So much prettier. How could I not love you?”

I full on wail at that, and she presses me close to her chest as I sob. The rhythmic beats of her heart slowly calm me down, and my breathing eventually begins to level.

“Do—do you mean that, Jamie?” I clutch her shirt as I brace for the inevitable ‘Just kidding! You’re gross!’

But it never comes.

“Every word, Hazel. I want to love you for the rest of our lives.” She gently takes one of her hands to rub the back of my head as I quietly cry into her shirt.

“So do I.” I manage to get out, and I feel her heart stutter ever so slightly.

“You mean that? Even after…what I did?” Jamie sounds nervous, just as afraid of rejection as I was. But she never has to worry about that. Not with me.

“I do. I really mean it. I could never hate you or leave you. I never want to spend a moment without you in my life.” I press a kiss onto her chest. “Besides, I was into it.” I full on laugh and Jamie can’t help but laugh too.

“Oh and I’m the dumbass?” She holds me even closer to her body, seemingly never letting go any time soon. Good.

When we both stop crying after a while, Jamie is the first to speak again. “So…do you want me to grow you back to normal size?” From a nearby window, I can see it’s dark out now. I am exhausted.

“Can…can I stay like this for the night? Sleep on your chest?” It was an embarrassing request, but I knew she wouldn’t care. She would probably tease me a bit though.

“Awww! You are adorable!” Speak of the devil. “Of course you can stay small tonight…though I think I accidentally swallowed your clothes.” I chuckle at her guilty expression, and resolve to just stay naked to sleep…as long as I can dry off first.

After we both get ready, Jamie lays down in her bed, and I rest in my position next to her heart, her hand serving as a blanket for me. This was an absolutely confusing and…surprising start to our relationship, and I had no idea what the days ahead would bring, but I knew we would figure it out.

I smile as the warmth of her body and pulses of her heart lull me to sleep.

~

Shoutout to my wife @flowers-but-gay for being my smart dumbass and describing how a shrink ray would potentially work only for me to dumb it down 😭

Also shoutout to Eve @specksizedgoddess for brushing the dust off my g/t kink and getting me back into writing

[zahri-melitor]

League of Shadows: Detective Comics #951-956

Wow. Just wow.

I knew Tynion IV was working overtime to try and get a level of normality re-established in Rebirth Batman, but he has so many moving pieces going on here.

First up: this is the Cass and Shiva story, so it’s rehashing and re-exploring the most vital elements of Perfect For A Year and Destruction’s Daughter.

It’s not a perfect blend, for a bunch of reasons, but I respect the effort involved.

The bit that blew me way however? Tynion brought in Carolyn.

Cass content where she is given inspiration by her aunt’s words??? I mean. I am listening.

Kate Kane gets to approximately play Babs’ role in the push-pull over what Cass needs against Bruce.

Cass in the Mud Room obsessed with winning fights and working through her problems of course perfectly reflecting Cass in Babs' equivalent holoroom doing exactly that as a way of dealing with her emotions.

Cass gets two fights with Shiva, and she of course loses the first and wins the second.

Cass running around with swords? Some people might say that’s not Cass, I say hello Kasumi and BatO 2008 references!

(Tragically Cass didn’t get to stab Kendra and keep that motif running, but alas no Justice League appeared in this book)

Cass and David together flashbacks still don’t feel entirely on target: previously when Cass has gone to David to answer her questions he would eventually give her what she asked for, not deny it to her. But David Cain was left in a horrible state post B&R Eternal so any writing even slightly more on track was helpful.

It's also fascinating to me that we go to this very heavy Cass story, leaning into her growth as a person and moving from being a lurking shadow who is a vigilante only to someone who is making civilian friendships and connections and doing things outside of simply being a vigilante (going to the ballet in person with Bruce and Kate escorting her) happens in a period when Steph has left. This is echoing Cass' Bludhaven arc! Argh Tynion knows the whole of Batgirl 2000 so well.

And Shiva. Oh, Shiva. I have to say, as always, I’m not thrilled when Shiva is directly linked to Ra’s Al Ghul, but admittedly we were redoing Destruction’s Daughter, so Shiva being called in to train League assassins is on target (though it was Ra's this time, not Nyssa), as was Shiva not actually working with Ra's ordinary troops so much as the set he was using for the League of Shadows.

What I also liked: Ra's trying to manipulate Shiva using what he knew of Cass, and Shiva not being fully on board with what Ra's was selling but synthesising it in her own way.

I don't love Ra's being more involved in Shiva's backstory, but I did enjoy her arguments with him, and the way Shiva, despite herself, became compelled and interested in Cass as a fighter more than as her daughter. (Daughter? raw material, boring. Fighter with that skillset who happens to be my daughter? deeply fascinated).

Just picking out a few scenes here, but I feel this does add an additional layer of depth to Shiva's motivations? That she knows she burnt everything away in the fire of Shiva, but also she has a level of regret over it all.

And then that being reflected in part of what gave Cass the understanding of how to defeat the League and Shiva was the words of Carolyn and her message of how to act as a shadow yet still find yourself? A message Sandra has lost but Carolyn protected even in her death, because Shiva has worked to slough off Sandra, but that is still a loss.

On top (on TOP) of this storyline being a synthesis of Batgirl 2000 into 5 issues, Tynion was just packing in the references.

The atomic bomb to open a faultline under Gotham and *checks notes* make the city fall into a cavern below? Is that Cataclysm, 'Quakemaster' (aka Ventriloquist) holding the city hostage over an even worse earthquake I spy? Because. The vibes were very much there. But on top of that, it's also a version of the Batgirl story of Alpha hiding a fusion bomb in Gotham and Cass needing to track him down to work out where that bomb was.

Shiva and the League of Shadows having a special technique of stabbing people with swords through their chest in a way that doesn't damage any organs. Shiva, is that you saying The Widower was bad at his job? Because most of those sword wounds were similar in location to Tim's one from The Widower but specifically on the other side of the body to avoid the spleen.

Ulysses Armstrong continuing to be the creepiest kid absolutely obsessed with Tim as Robin and trying to 'get into his skin'? Ulysses being in the military now via Jacob Kane's secret organisation yet still completely and utterly hung up on Tim and trying to prove himself is commitment to Tim's Robin run.

And then we get to this: to Ra's telling Bruce that inside the League of Assassins he has a secret League of Shadows, which he has concealed from Bruce and forced him to forget.

But the important bit here to me is Ra's saying Bruce has uncovered them three times before. And we get this series of pictures.

The first is an underground cavern lit by an orange glow (this looks very much like an orange Lazarus Pit in the background: references this resembles include Son of the Demon, any of Nyssa's pits, Matt Wagner's Trinity and a bunch of others).

The second is Bruce standing shirtless on a frozen lake, surrounded by mountains. (Can you say Batman Begins? But also technically you could map this to Bride of the Demon I guess by the art team not realising Antarctica doesn't have trees. Or frozen lakes like that. His first shirtless duel with Ra’s is Batman #244 but that’s in the desert. The various Nanda Parbat and Himalaya fight scenes I reviewed don't look much like this)

The third is Bruce being taken down in what looks like a fancy office (my first thought was possibly Tower of Babel & Dependence, but this again could be a lot of occasions).

And the focus here on Ra's having concealed Bruce's memories and forced him to forget events, in Rebirth stories where we are pushing at the timeline to extend it out again and backfill it with post-Crisis content? A genius way of focusing on there being stories that n52 Bruce doesn't know.

I've been trying to work out exactly which stories Tynion is claiming these three 'discoveries' of the League of Shadows occurred during, and I can't quite pinpoint three specific occasions. But they are so very, very familiar. I do wonder which he was specifically thinking about.

[hello-universe-lovers]

"BULLSHIT!!"

It's funny how I saw a Cheated design right as I finished my own. But without further ado, here's my Voice of the Cheated. Now as an ACTUAL girlfailure!

As usual, rant under the cut, beware the spoilers:

I gotta level with ya...there isn't much symbolism in what she wears (although the leaves on her shirt are bamboo leaves, symbolizing flexibility, strength and growth). I just wanted to try something different. Give each voice a somewhat style to easily associate with (Hero as the Knight, Oppy as the business casual, Connie as the idol, etc...). I am aware the common headcanon of giving Cheated card association, I just...didn't see that, like at all for her? Maybe it's bc I don't really see her saying "game" and such as a card game, but more in the "life's a game and its RIGGED" sense, you know. You can excuse it as New Princess, New rules.

Specific misc details:

- Her Princess was, as stated in the sheet, the Fury (Adversary route). She was NOT happy with this Princess, and kept trying to win, but without Stubborn to fuel the fire, it quickly became literally kicking a dead horse and getting it to keep racing.

- When she was unwound, she wanted to "let go", but the Player won't let her. She put them in this situation. If the Player has to suffer, so must she.

- it took a lot of empathy to reach the point where she was put back together. But the damage was done. Cheated's body was returned, everything is as it should be. Except...

- Her bones hurt. It's fine if she is just walking about, any strenuous or sudden movement, strange foods or even sitting wrong, and it will cause her incredibly painful aches and pains. In the beginning, she was on a strict regiment of medicine and exercise to do basic things. She eventually got to a point where she can go a week without feeling like shit. The pain is still there, but it's muted (for the most part).

- Her braids are Fury's own hair laced into her own (hence why they are blonde). She could rewind Cheated's body but not her hair, so some compromises were reached. No matter how much she washes it, it will always smell of dried blood. She just Gave up on washing it, after a while. And they are tight is because of how "tightly wound" she was (and not bc I had a hard time drawing braids/hj)

- Due to her stiff bones, her wings, while able to stretch to full wingspan, won't let her fly. Flapping is too painful. They are usually pressed her back or wrapped around her body.

- her tail used to have a hair tuff. But the initial stress of her situation caused her to fluff the fur off it, so now it's bald. It still hasn't grown back.

- Despite everything, she is sorry for what she did to Fury. It was her fault she got so bad, and it was her fault their bodies were this fucked. If she's not cursing the world, she's cursing herself for being so blind to another's suffering.

- she can kinda "unwind" other things too. But it's more akin to breaking them than an accurate split atom by atom. She also hates using "unwind", "rewind" or words like that to describe it.

Speaking of another...time for Shipping~

- This is how Broken and Cheated started. Broken hated herself, but she hated seeing Cheated in great pain so she became a frequent talking companion, during the first little while of recovery.

- they both had injuries to get used to. Broken lost her legs, and Cheated's bones were such a pain. And so overtime, during recovery, they started encouraging each other. Being depressed all the time was tempting, but Cheated wanted Broken to be happy. So she became her biggest supporter, helping her get used to a cane.

- Broken felt the same, and while she was still tackling her own issues, she could see Cheated was working through hers for her sake. It became a positive feedback look of encouragement on both sides.

- Their love confession was as sudden as their sudden decision to support each other. It was a late night talk, while both couldn't sleep because of pain. But they meant every "I love you" and are inseparable, after that.

- if Broken needed her meds, Cheated will bring it to her.

- If Cheated isn't feeling like moving, Broken will come to her and sit down with her to chat.

- it's worth noting that they are still the same people as their canon counterparts. I guess the word for it is "healthier". They are coping with it, and there will be bad days, but they can get through it...together.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Concept

Old televisions and radio give off radiation, right?

Consider that vox neutealised his output when he upgraded, but Alastor stull puts out a certain amount of radioactivity. Oh nothing that would hurt you in the immediate vicinity of the deer but... a small dose over time can weary even sinner healing.

What if the reason he refuses a territory is to avoid poisoning the souls undet him by proxy?

His chains are a radioactive green after all. There could easily be a geiger counter click in the hiss of his airwaves.

His emaciated form isnt unusual for those whose body is exposed to radiation. Healing Just Enough to keep alive.

He never stays anywhere too long. Always flitting about, except at the hotel, but the bayou can absorb some of the radiant magic and radiation over time. If it gets too toxic, alastor purges it and reverts the whole wetland to original formats.

No one is losing hair or vomiting blood. He refuses most touch to avoid someone taking away more than they bargained for... his touches are through attire.

Magically reinforced gloves and his coat.

His tailor has been specially chosen for his warding capabilities. But magic can only do so much for natural degredation when it comes to radiation.

It hadnt ever been this bad before. Hed sought the help of the royal family to manage this sinner form. They used to have a program wherein those reborn with environmentally hazardous forms could be assessed and either it was altered with paperwork and bureaucracy, or the sinners were helped to manage it with an item or mark.

That was where his cane had come from. It could dampen and absorb his ambient radiation... but not entirely. Plants withered when he passed and he made sure not to bump into any cannibal children just in case.

Niffty seemed either immune or to enjoy the slight stinging sensation. He was never quite sure.

Vox offered to fix alastors form too. That would be where the fallout started... to have the one person he thought understood their joint plight judge him as broken? A thing to be modified?

Some part of him ached to take the dealbut the unknowns... would he be the same after? Vox had changed so much when converting.

And then there was Lillith, who saw potential and the chance to hold a means of broadcasting herself across the rings, in her grasp.

She offered mystical support to contain his issue, to manage the degredation. She would not ask him to stop using it as a weapon of last resort, when he took out overlords. Allowing his radiation to concentrate and emanate.

Disintegrating his defeated enemies into atoms that he drew inside his mangled core. Their screams ringing through hell.

She offered mystical support and knowledge... if only he would trust her fully, allow her ownerahip of his soul. Lillith seemed so sincere, her words overrode his matural scepticism and wariness in a way that to this day alastor couldnt really explain.

He likes to think she used her song. It was equally likely that perhaps desperation to not always be alone drove him to agree.

He never realised she could fulfil her promise and also fund a way to make him far worse than before. To push it until his core held the potential for detonation... if she willed it.

Alastor didnt think she would risk her daughter like that but lillith had laughed. Charlotte could live through a blast, hell wouldnt.

When adam hit him, he thought this would be the moment of vaporisation especially with his staff gone. He fled, hoping to avoid discovery by opportunistic sinners or anyone he may fractionally care about the welfare of, less durable than others.

Husker might be the best bet, his Luck and the protective sigils on his cufflinks would keep him safe long enough. As needed.

But no. Lucifer finds him, how revolting!

Charlotte sent the man whose face is immediately hardened by the discovery. Even moreso after he bats aside what paltry resistence alastor can muster and laid hands on the wound.

Crimson eyes flick up coldly.

He asks why Lillith had made him a living weapon. Alastor has no answer. The king mitigates what he can but refuses a deal gor secrecy.

He tells Charlotte and tries to force alastorfrom the property. It is fair... but lilliths deal compels him to remain.

Chatlotte, bless her heart, tries to find a happy medium in the same vein of dangerous optimism that led.to her confronting Valentino.

She goes to Vox. He is only too pleased to help, he had a plan and the tech to accomplish it.

Charlotte is a terrible.liar, but Lucifer is easily able to capture and sedate the healing overlord despite his.protests. Lillith yanking his chain the whole time to force an explosion.

The person who wakes is not quite himsrlf. His mind is different, his body altered. No longer radioactive but also not... himself.

He knows Vox has tampered with his mind when he was out because his mouth moves without his say so. His body allows vox closer than it should, and twines their signals effortlessly.

He doesnt know time anymore but the pain is gone. At some point he dropped from the hotel and joined the vees. When?

His collar yanks at him every moment he is away from prying eyes, but alastor can do nothing about it.

The one time he recalls seeing Charlotte after, he knows her entreaties to come home were met with silence. Vox has been building up to a deal... wanting it official. Wanting Him.

Salvation is far away. If only lillith could wummon him and purge whatever this was. If only the little king wasnt so hellbent on their rivalry, he might be a source of support.

But no, one evening as he laid quietly and stared at the ceiling of his tooblue room, unable to sleep and yet he could do nothing else as hed been sent to rest...

Someone slipped into his room. Alastor wanted to stiffen, having long since prepared himself for the day voxs restraint snapped and he qas the centre of the picture box's more amorous attentions. Thr activity could be pleasant with the right person but, he had never felt the pull of it. The need as others did.

He knew it was a matter of time.

But no, a battered looking silhouette arrived hissing into their phone. The horrified look on Angels face as he stared at Alastor was sickening, the pity cloying in the air.

He wanted to scream.

Angel props him upright, getting no resistence and yet no help. The atarlet swears, tries goading the other into rwaction, but Vox never gave Alastor any leeway in the command. Fuck this was humiliating.

A shimmering portal appears beside the pair and Angel carries Alastor through, bemoaning how heavy he was for a twig. At least, alastor hopes he said twig.

Charlie is in tears, sobbing apologies at him desperately as Angel puts him on a bed. Was this his room in the new hotel? Why had they bothered?

Angel mentions the lack of response, and shudders. The king, ah damn it all Lucifer is here, moves to the spider first to heal whatever is making the other wheeze so dreadfully.

Then he comes for Alastor, with a sharp jab at how they didnt really need to fix anything did they? Not when bambi had learned to shut up and do what hes told now?

All alastor can manage is a heated glare, venemous and trying to throw the hypocrisy of such a sentiment back at the king. Did the angel do what he was told or rebel, hmmm?

Lucifer apologies.when Charlie sobs harder and admonishes him.

He puts his hand to Alastor's brow and then everything falls away. Likely they might need to carve components out... hes been braves for it. What favour would he owe them for this alleged kindness?

When he wakens, the very reality of being able.to move his fingers of his own volition was slmost enough to make him weep for joy. He did t of course, big bad scary overlord image and all.

Ruined immediately as Charlotte and Niffty dogpile him.

He is reverted as best one can and Lucifer reversed some of Lilliths tinkering. Hed then carefully changed some of the enwrgy signatures to void his body of radiation. Something about clean fusion thst didnt make sense, but it meant he wouldnt kill those around him if exposed for more than a day.

Cautiously, he touched a flower in a vase by the bed... and it remained hale. Ah, delightful!

Feeling much better, he asked after the saviour of the hour... and immediately shadowed back to vee tower in search of the recalled starlet.

What followed was brutal, bloody and satisfying. The entertainment district was in ruins and what little remaine d of the overlords qould regenerate on his chains.

Primarily out of confusion, alastor fres vals souls. He had no idea what to do with them anyway... and releases Angel. Deftly avoiding a thankyou kiss by summoning husker in front of him in time.

Why, this had been quite a strange day.

He still needed to speak with Charlotte and the King about their role in his enforced captivity... but, that could wait a moment.

For now, he contented himself in watching the last of vee tower collapses into burning rubble as soft jazz filled the air.

---

Etc