#she has more issues than she has atoms

[bucket-puns]

Old limbus women but one of them is my OC LMAOOOO

[tallykale]

episode 19

as you can probably tell, i've thought a lot about what post-canon one would look like in my vision... i've said before that i have issues with straightforward fix-its, and i do genuinely love the tragic open-ended conclusion that the series has, but i... am not immune to playing with characters like dolls LOL

here's some writeups about where everyone is at mentally in these pictures. please please please PLEEEASE feel free to ask me more about this cuz i love talking about my beautiful mind palace

charlotte: somehow the most optimistic person in here, mostly out of necessity. when she died, she saw parker leading her out of a cave as her waiting room and was about to take his hand when airy respawned her, so she has a brief moment of bonding with bryce when he talks about the waiting room and seeing stella. with the knowledge that there is potentially a way to get out (bryce and liam being the proof) and the fear of rotting away again she is by far the most actively motivated to help liam figure out the computer. a lot of her days are spent talking to liam over the mic and writing out the code in the dirt so she can try to understand it. she still has to push against her natural misanthropy (and often shouts at liam or bryce for being fucking stupid and useless) but both working on the code and helping amelia give her something concrete to focus on outside herself. she wants to get home so she can make amends with her friends. charlotte is scared of dying! she's really genuinely horribly scared of dying and has awful vivid nightmares about rotting away. she often pushes amelia into talking about her life which causes some tension, but it's because she really hates seeing amelia lose herself like that - a metaphorical rotting away of the self.

subway seat & atom: not on the same level of pure existential depression as the batch 1 contestants, but they both feel the hopeless mood pretty harshly regardless. subway feels very lonely as the only hidden object still 'awake', and likes to carry whippy creamy around rather than just leave him sitting on the ground constantly. tray is too big and unwieldy for him to do that with, but he 'hangs out' with her anyway, talking to her and whippy creamy in the hopes that it'll get them to want to wake up again. atom doesn't talk much, but he still carries his piece of grass. he's definitely the person who's the least affected by the prospect of being stuck on the plane forever, since he… doesn't really perceive existence in the same way as everyone else? he's an atom. but his time in the competition definitely made him view everyone else as friends, and he feels even more powerless than usual in the face of this incomprehensibly difficult problem.

amelia: falls into total hopelessness when bryce rejoins, basically seeing it as the final sign that they're never going home. still calls everyone their competition names (she actually gets into a big fight with bryce about it lol). she gets really clingy and dependent on bryce when he first comes back but it crashes and burns pretty quickly when, during an argument, bryce tells her how much he wishes he could just go back and never have let liam in and forgot about everything… which really sucks for amelia to hear, given that she's part of that everything. after that, with bryce isolating himself, she's kind of reliant on charlotte to keep her going. she blames liam for airy dying and secretly kind of thinks he killed him but just isn't telling them… she also doesn't really believe there's any way of getting out and is just kind of waiting around to die of, like, old age i guess. after how long she's been here, amelia is convinced that she has nothing to even go back to and frequently forgets details about her life. regularly cries and hates being alone. the shift markings on the side of the water tub have changed from being a way to keep track of time and stay sane to a horrible reminder of how long they've been here and how much longer of an eternity they have before them.

bryce: hates himself and liam and airy and the plane and his entire stupid fucking life. bryce is really, really fucking pissed off at liam for losing the notes and letting texty die and every other mistake he's made, and isn't shy about telling him that. as well as being angry, he's also incredibly miserable, because he was finally starting to turn his life around (he quit drinking after the plane) and now it's all for nothing - and even worse, those 7 months he spent getting better were 7 months he did nothing to help the rest of them, especially amelia. he's horribly guilty about that, and that he didn't tell amelia about the fake votes before he was eliminated… but finds it easier to just let liam take the heat for that one at first. after he fights with amelia about it he becomes a bit of a hermit, hanging out by himself next to the plug, and never responds when liam tries to talk. contemplates suicide regularly but pretty much the only option is drowning himself, and the idea of that still scares him more than staying like this forever. would kill for a beer.

liam: tortured by horrible guilt every day over a million different things. these include getting bryce pulled back into this (plus delayed guilt over getting him for real killed), letting texty die and not saying anything about the charger, not telling amelia that everything was fake, knowing that charlotte is going to die if he doesn't get really smart really fast… he's frequently gripped by fits of rage where he almost smashes the computer and has to hobble around outside with the axe for a while to blow off steam. he has really bad nightmares and dissociative episodes, made worse by the isolation and spending hours in a dark cave. liam really wants to fix things with everyone but genuinely has no idea how to start that conversation. he assumes airy killed himself (and views it as an unforgiveably cowardly move) and directs a lot of resentment towards him. he has a lot of things he wants to say, especially to bryce, but the fact that he cant talk to anybody one on one makes things difficult. spends a lot of time just reading through the code, too afraid to actually make any changes in case everyone explodes, but talking it through with charlotte at least makes him feel like he's doing something. more than he would like to admit, liam catches himself staring at the plane as if it's a simulation or a livestream.

[amusingmusie]

Hi, I really hope you're faring well. Just wanted to say that I love your writing and yours truly, and I thought about something.

In hell, Alastor is a lot more durable and unkillable, so I imagine that's a lot more of a headache for Nel. She's walking behind him, ready to bash his skull and all of a sudden his head does a 180 and she's like >:0.

Also demon Al's hygiene must be HORRIBLE. So she's probably going to have to chase him around the hotel with a toothbrush and soap to no evail because he's a slippery motherfucker now that he's a demon.

Thank you so much for writing this masterpiece, and have a wonderful day <3

Fresh As Hell

Content warning for the Hazbin cast being themselves.

You're running out of ideas.

This has gone on far too long. The smell of an old shoe here, a hint of halitosis there, even a whiff of swamp water wafting your way if you get too close: it's all evidence that you can't ignore any longer.

Alastor kind of fucking stinks.

Sure, you've told him since your human days that his swampass stench is overwhelming, but that was a dig to piss him off, not the actual truth (usually, as long as his mother pressured him to scrub his tail). Nowadays? Well, if the demonic stop sign admitted that he bathes in his bedroom's wetlands, you'd be less than shocked. Shit, you'd actually be relieved if that were the case, because then you could fill the bog with soap and perfume to mask whatever funk perpetually lives on Alastor's grey skin. It's never overwhelming enough to knock you out; it's maddening subtle, the musk of his hair and the bite to his breath.

Maybe you could survive the Great Stink of '24 if he didn't insist on being on top of you at all times. Every time you turn around, you're assaulted by crimson, static, and Alastor's personal brand of miasma that wafts off of him since he insists on being no less than three atoms away from you.

Sure, it's possible you've got beef with his aroma since back in the day, the shitter smelled like freshly cut wood with notes of amber and his teeth sparkled like diamonds. You've seen his hygiene at its peak, which is why you cannot cosign this rank tomfoolery. Unfortunately, all of your attempts to rally the idiots at this hotel to agree with you that this is an issue have ended in disaster, leaving you without any allies in this fight.

"I haven't really noticed much, and hey, here at the Happy Hotel, we're receptive to more, um, eccentric lifestyles! As long as Alastor is being a team player and helping out with our mission, there's no reason to make him uncomfortable by bringing up his personal choices!"

"I don't get close enough to that pendejo to catch a whiff of whatever you're talking about."

"I dunno, tootz, I like a man with a little musk to 'em."

"Fuck off and fuck you."

"I like man stink~"

You're very much on your own here. The war on Alastor's subpar hygiene will be fought by you and you alone, and you won't be deterred- you've had worse battles before.

When you're once again yanked into Alastor's side and exposed to a faceful of his armpit in the lobby for the upteenth time, you vow to take action against him, more for your sake than his.

Game on.

---

Your strategy calls for small, stealthy actions in the beginning.

Positioning yourself in plain sight at the hotel bar with two cups of coffee, you wait for your target to appear. It's the perfect scene: you, alone (save for the bar cat, but he's passed out with his head down on the counter), with coffee. Alastor can't resist this. Hardly more than three seconds pass before a rush of static and a chill wash over you. A gentle pop sounds off to your left, and then you're greeted by your least favorite radio host smelling stale as ever.

"Good morning, sweetheart!" he cries, purposely shouting too loudly into your ear. "You're looking especially horrid this morning. Did you happen to catch a glance of your reflection in the mirror before it cracked?"

"No, I was too busy imagining all the ways I could skin you alive before eleven."

"Well, it is eight already, so hop to it, you need all the time that you can get to brainstorm!"

As his invisible audience laughs alongside him, you flick a handful of mints into his unguarded coffee cup. The jackass is too busy chortling at his tired jokes to realize that you've done anything at all. Perfect. Holding back your smirk is a damn hard move when Alastor finally lifts his red mug to his full lips and swallows down a mouthful of minty coffee.

Success.

Until-

"Hm..." Alastor hums, blinking his red eyes plainly. Then he promptly turns, spits out a stream of dark liquid onto Husk's bowed head, and snatches up your cup of coffee. After sipping down your drink, he sighs contently. "There, much better! Ah, that was a juvenile play, dear. You're losing your touch."

The deer motherfucker teleports away while you're left with a pissed off cat and determination to win this war.

---

Next comes the idea to douse Alastor in whatever perfume oils you can find as a direct plan of attack. Instead of using your precious concoction that you paid out the ass for from Rosie's Emporium, you decide that these other assholes living around here could stand to help out for five seconds. You're not asking for their support- just their cologne.

Angel is the unlucky winner that you approach since whatever he wears is pungent enough that it has your eyes watering on a good day. The spider leans up against his doorway, legs in your face and fluff looming above your head as you make your case.

"Listen." You crane your head back and fix him with what you hope is an amicable stare. "I'll shoot straight with you. I need a favor."

"Oh?" he asks, raising a perfect brow and examining his gloved fingers. "I don't do girls, sorry not sorry."

"No," you grumble at him. "Not that kind of favor. I need to borrow your perfume- whatever shit you wear is strong enough to be smelled across the Pentagram. All I need is to borrow the bottle for five minutes and I'll have it back to you good as new."

"HA! You think I'm letting you make off with my smell-good for free? No no no, nobody gets to borrow what I wear, not even Cherri. It's custom! You're out of luck."

"You're here at the hotel to redeem yourself- part of redemption is being selfless."

"Actually, I'm at this shitshack so I don't have to pay rent, and redemption don't mean you get a spritz of my good shit. Go ask some other shmuck." Angel laughs in your face one final time, then spins around to shut his door.

"I'll owe you," you spit out. That has the fluffy demon pausing and you fear that you've either royally fucked up or royally succeeded.

"...Owe me what?"

"One favor equal to borrowing your perfume that doesn't involve me getting my ass kicked or double dead."

Angel grins delightedly, retreats into his den, then sticks one spindly arm out with his perfume sitting pretty in his palm.

"Have at it!"

And you do, with fear of Hell's #1 pornstar in your heart.

Alastor comes in to kick your legs under the table during dinner and you immediately whip out Angel's perfume to soak the son of a bastard down. There's an ear-ringing screech before Alastor pops away, leaving you with a table full of coughing, gassed-out hotel inhabitants that are very, very pissed off.

Once Vaggie is done chewing you out, Angel Dust leans over and whispers, "You still owe me for my draining my fucking reserves, dollface."

Fuck.

---

After weeks of attempted baths, desperate tooth-brushing sessions, dirty bribery, and numerous double-death threats, you've decided that you have no choice but to go completely nuclear. Clearly, your rotten plague of a deer demon is determined to resist all attempts to freshen him the fuck up, so you are prepared to pull the dirtiest trick in your book. Forget screaming or cussing; you'll have his ass eating out of the palm of your hand in no time with this.

"Hello, my rotten peach!"

Ahah, it's time- you're about to win this little game no problem. You take one look at Alastor in all his awful glory here in the parlor, steady your face into an uninterested expression, and then you. look. away.

Alastor stares.

"I said, hello, my rotten peach! My fetid fruit! My most crusty crop!" he announces slightly louder as if you didn't hear him.

Nothing. No reaction. You refuse to engage with someone that smells of fragrant toes and has gums darker than his coffee; you'll have him suffering from your silence if those are the dumbass choices he'd like to make.

Just barely concealing his panic at the sudden lack of your attention, Alastor clomps closer, then pokes at your side with his staff. The thing winces from the contact. You, on the other hand, are not weak and will not relent, so you continue to watch the parlor wall with great interest.

All according to plan.

Charlie passes by, humming a happy tune. When she spots you lounging on the couch with Alastor hovering over you, she smiles at the familiar sight, and offers a happy, "Good morning!"

"Morning, Princess," you greet her. Then you return to wall watching.

Alastor wilts.

You smile.

And you play the winning game.

For days, you refuse to acknowledge anything having to do with your favorite least favorite parasite. If he materializes in front of you when you're reading a novel? You don't even flinch. If you awake to him standing over your bed and staring with glowing eyes? Well, there's no need to do anything but roll over, that's just Tuesday. You hardly bat an eye when a black shadow warbles over your shoulder as you brush your teeth; no, you simply show it the brush and toothpaste for a proper tutorial on how to avoid ripe ass breath. You're enjoying the power you hold over Alastor, and you especially enjoy the way his stupid tufts flatten against his head when you deny him any attention for a whole week.

You believe that victory is yours.

---

As you trudge downstairs for another miserable day at the Asscrack Motel or whatever they're calling this place nowadays, you're overwhelmed by a new scent permeating throughout the lobby- freshly cut cedar, something slightly floral and musky, hints of amber, and immaculately washed manass.

Shit.

You know that smell. You know that smell very well. It can only mean one thing.

Then you spot him in all of his glory; Alastor is leaning his spindly body against the hotel bar with a freshly patched suit, styled hair slicked back across his head, and shining teeth. Oh God, he smells and looks like Heaven, and suddenly you decide that maybe you don't give two shits about that white speck in the sky when you've got this presented to you on a metaphorical platter.

With a little grunt, you move closer, appraising Alastor with an indifferent expression. His static is whirring sweetly in the background while he simpers down at you- yeah, he's proud and peacocking a bit, you can tell from the manner in which his lips curl and the way his chest puffs out. Goddammit...he knows that he's got you hooked like a fucking sucker.

"Yeeeeees?" he sings when you stare for a second too long. "Something on your dreadfully empty mind?"

"..." Hm. You could shoot him for being annoying, but he did do all of this dolling up for you.

Ugh. You hate him so much.

So you yank him down by his lapel so you can kiss him square on the mouth. For the first time in a long time, he tastes of mint and sunshine instead of rot and coffee, utterly intoxicating you in the worst of ways. You drag your lips against his and feel that they've been moisturized, and when he bites down on your tongue, there's no slippery plaque to offend your senses.

All of this effort just to get you to look his way.

Good.

Then you release him with a pop, flip him the bird, and walk off with your head held high.

Alastor just hums in satisfaction from his place at the bar, idly commenting, "I've still got it," to a very disgusted Husk and Vaggie who are doing their damndest to ignore the scene.

You'll call this one even.

(Loosely based on a very old conversation with @gemrocknerd).

[latenightreadingpdf]

Hidden in Plain Sight - Dave Lizewski

₊‧⁺˖⋆ Masterlist ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ Part 2 ⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆ Part 3 ⋆˖⁺‧₊

Summary: When Y/S/N saves Kick-Ass from a dangerous situation, he becomes obsessed with trying to uncover her true identity. Little does he know, Y/S/N is a girl from his school who secretly has a crush on him as well. As they patrol together, their worlds collide in ways neither expected, leading to a surprising revelation about who's really behind the mask.

Y/S/N - Your superhero name

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

The night sky over New York had a strange way of making a person feel invincible. Dave Lizewski, aka Kick-Ass, was just starting out his amateur superhero career and was already way in over his head. Sure, he'd gotten a few decent hits in on some petty thugs before, but most of the time, he spent more energy trying not to die than actually fighting crime.

Tonight was one of those nights.

He sprinted down an alley, panting, adrenaline surging through his veins. Behind him, two guys—huge, brawny types who clearly had nothing better to do than terrorize the innocent—chased him with knives. His green suit felt like a second skin, clinging to him with every move, though it wasn’t exactly made for high-intensity situations like this. His lungs burned, and a stitch formed in his side. Not good.

“I swear,” he gasped to himself, “I’m gonna die.”

The alley came to an abrupt dead end. He cursed, turning just in time to see the guys closing in, grinning like they'd won the lottery. He raised his fists, trying to look braver than he felt.

"This... is not going to end well," Dave muttered.

Before either of them could lunge, something fast and powerful blurred from the shadows, hitting one of the thugs with such force that he flew backward, crashing into a stack of crates. The second guy barely had time to react before the figure was on him too, taking him down with an expert kick to the stomach.

Dave blinked in disbelief. The figure straightened, revealing a young woman in a sleek, black suit. It wasn’t flashy, but it looked way more professional than his own green and yellow DIY get-up. She had an aura of confidence and strength that radiated even in the dim light.

And, yeah, Dave noticed, she had a killer figure.

"You... you just saved my life!" Dave stammered.

The girl rolled her eyes behind her mask. “Yeah, and I’m guessing it won’t be the last time, Kick-Ass.”

Kick-Ass. She knew his name.

“Wait, who are you?” he asked, his voice still shaky from the adrenaline.

“Call me Y/S/N,” she said casually, as if saving people from imminent death was just another Friday night. “You really should be more prepared for situations like this.”

“I... I thought I was.”

Y/S/N snorted, crossing her arms. "Really? No backup, no weapons? Just... that?" She gestured to his suit. "You're gonna get yourself killed."

Dave flushed, partly from embarrassment and partly from the rush of adrenaline still coursing through him. “I’ll... I’ll do better,” he promised lamely, watching as she walked away, her silhouette disappearing into the night.

And just like that, she was gone.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

At Atomic Comics the next day, Dave was still riding the adrenaline high from his encounter with the mysterious heroine. His friends, Todd and Marty, sat across from him, distracted by the latest issue of X-Men, while Dave rambled on about her.

“I swear, you guys, she was like something out of The Avengers. She totally saved my ass last night. And she was hot. I mean, like, really hot. Her suit—it was super tight. I could barely focus.”

Todd raised an eyebrow, putting his comic down. “Dude, you’re such a nerd. A hot superhero saves you, and that’s what you focus on?”

Dave shrugged, grinning sheepishly. “I mean, yeah? You didn’t see her. She’s got this whole thing going on—great moves, great...uh...form. Her ass is—”

"Wow. Really going full perv, aren't we?" Marty quipped, rolling his eyes.

Unbeknownst to Dave, someone had been listening. On the other side of a nearby shelf, Y/N, the kind and somewhat popular girl from school, had been browsing comics too. She knew who Dave was—after all, they had a few classes together—but they had never really talked.

Y/N smiled to herself as she overheard Dave’s rant about his superhero crush. Little did he know that she was Y/S/N, the very girl who had saved his life last night. Hearing him talk about her alter-ego like that—saying she was cool, hot, and all that—was...well, flattering in a weird way. And the fact that he was so obviously into her made things a lot more interesting.

Still smiling, Y/N grabbed a random comic, paid for it, and headed out, a plan forming in her head.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Later that week, Dave suited up as Kick-Ass once again, hoping to catch a glimpse of Y/S/N during his patrol. After their first encounter, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. She had this presence that he couldn’t shake off, and it didn’t help that his crush was amplified by the fact that she’d saved him. She was the real deal—a hero, like he wanted to be.

“Kick-Ass.”

Dave turned at the sound of her voice, heart skipping a beat. She was there, perched casually on a rooftop ledge, looking down at him with that same cool confidence.

“Y/S/N!” He tried to sound smooth, but his voice cracked just a little.

“You’re not going to need saving again, are you?” she teased, dropping down to the street in front of him.

“I’ve got it covered this time,” he said, puffing out his chest just a little. “Totally prepared.”

Y/S/N gave him a once-over, amusement flickering in her eyes. “Sure you are.”

The two of them walked together, patrolling the empty streets, though it was a quiet night—too quiet, really.

“So, Kick-Ass,” Y/S/N started, her voice casual. “There’s this guy I go to school with. He’s in a few of my classes.”

Dave’s heart gave a little lurch. Was she... opening up to him? Maybe this was his chance to learn more about her.

“Yeah? What about him?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

“He’s super nerdy, kind of awkward. But he’s... well, he’s hot. Like, really hot.”

Dave blinked. “Wait, what?”

“I bet he’s got... you know, a lot going on,” she continued, her voice dropping slightly. “In more ways than one.”

Dave felt his face flush. “Oh.”

“I can’t focus in class because I’m too busy thinking about him,” she added. “It’s a problem, I don’t know what to do.”

“Wow, okay. Um... who’s the guy?” he asked, not really wanting to know but needing to at the same time.

“Dave Lizewski,” Y/S/N said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Dave stopped dead in his tracks. His brain short-circuited for a second. “Wait... what? Did you just... did you just say Dave Lizewski?”

She turned to face him, her expression unreadable behind her mask. “Yeah, why? You know him?”

“I—uh—” Dave’s thoughts tumbled over each other in a chaotic mess. She knows me. She actually knows me. And she thinks I’m hot?!

Y/S/N didn’t give him any time to process. “Anyway, I gotta run. Crime won’t stop itself.” She gave him a little wave before disappearing into the night once more, leaving Dave standing there, still in shock.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

That night, Dave immediately FaceTimed Todd and Marty, pacing his room in a frenzy.

“Guys! You are not going to believe what just happened!” he blurted out as soon as they answered.

“What is it now, man?” Marty asked, exasperated.

“I think Y/S/N goes to our school.”

Both of them stared at him blankly through the screen.

“No, seriously! She was talking about a guy she likes in her classes. And then she said my name! My actual name!”

Todd snorted. “Okay, but how do you know she’s not just messing with you?”

“I... don’t know. But it seemed real,” Dave insisted. “I think she really goes to school with me. And now I have to figure out who she is.”

He grabbed his old yearbook off the shelf and flipped it open. “There’s gotta be some kind of clue.”

Todd and Marty exchanged skeptical glances but eventually joined in, helping him comb through the yearbook. They scanned faces, trying to match anyone they knew with the mystery of Y/S/N.

“Alright, so we need a plan,” Dave said, leaning over the pages. “Monday, we’re going to do some recon. Check out anyone who might be her. We’ll figure this out.”

Todd and Marty, albeit reluctantly, nodded in agreement.

“Sure, dude. Recon mission on Monday.”

Dave closed the yearbook with a snap, his mind racing. Somewhere in the sea of students, Y/S/N was hiding in plain sight. And now, he was more determined than ever to find out who she was—both in and out of her suit.

Little did he know, Monday would bring him more answers than he could’ve ever expected.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

A/N ~ there’s not enough Kick-Ass fanfics on here and I’m sick of it :( lmk if you want a part 2

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I'm so happy you like my "oblivious König with severe mommy issues" prompt :3 I'm sorry if I made a few mistakes here and there cause English is my swcond language :(

I'm also thinking about König being absloutely snappy and bratty to reader as a defense mechanism, because he's not a baby! He can make his own lunch (frozen pizza), thank you very much, you are not his Mutter!

And reader is just standing there, smiling because she finds him so endearing when he's angry, not taking him seriously at all. She coos at him in her soft voice, saying she's so sorry, she just worries about her baby so much, he's not been feeding himself very well and look- look at your tummy, baby, you used to be bigger and healthier than that, how can I not be worried for my sweetheart? Of course she's stroking his tummy and whispering in his ear while she says that, and he has to stand there frozen or else he will let out the most pathetic whimper known to man.

He will then have to sit there and eat the most delicious meal ever while he's grumbling, frowning while reader offers him cut up slices of peach, his cock leaving a wet patch against his pants.

It gets even more pathetic in the bedroom because reader is just so full of instructions and praise for him. She's not bossy, she guides him with gentle instructions and calls him the worst names when he obeys, like her Perfect Baby and Big Boy and he just gets so riled up (because he's a military man, of course! he likes orders and that's all) he gets frustrated at his own horniness and decides to drill into her harder, and all she can do is call his cock big and he just cums and cums, groaning and whimpering into her neck :((( one day he will she her he is NOT a baby!

YES I love this for him this is exactly what he deserves!!!!

He thought he’d get a helpless pathetic girl to fuck on weekends but now he’s the pathetic one here, gritting his teeth to prevent himself from getting hard when she rubs his scalp and praises him for every single little thing he does. Every time he comes to see her there’s a big warm meal waiting for him, fat wet kisses and a hushed voice pressed next to his ear, asking him whether he had a rough week, poor thing. Poor baby must be so tired, working himself to the bone like that… His cock is pulling and leaking in his pants from her voice alone now, which is just great, just what he needed.

She says he doesn’t need to worry, says she’s here to ease his stress, and he already knows what it means; she’s going to give him infernally good head that will dissolve him into atoms and make him moan so pathetically he’ll never survive the shame that follows. Which means he must prevent it from happening, any way he can, and so he fleshes out a plan to rearrange her guts later from behind so he doesn’t need to look into those loving, nurturing eyes, always praising him for doing so so good.

The whole female population is looking at him through those eyes, cheering him on with love and gentle care, and he wants that shit so much he’s about to punch a hole through a wall and then slump on the floor to have a big fat ugly cry but he can’t do that, no. He has to stay strong and conquer… whatever this is.

And then the plan backfires horribly when she kickstarts a handjob before he’s even finished his meal. After only a minute or two he finds himself staring up at her, eyes wide and helpless and his cock jerking and throbbing and twitching in her hand as she continues to give him slow, long strokes that are sending him to braindead bliss already.

She babbles in his ear and tells him he can cum whenever he wants, he’s deserved it… And before he knows it there are long, thick strings of cum shooting out, a painful, desperate whine of a moan punching through the air. He never knew he could sound so needy. And pathetic... And needy.

His head drops to see the mess he just made, but she’s already cleaning it up, dabbing his lap with a clean, wet towel, looking up at him with a bright, loving smile.

Scheisse…

[moonspirit]

Jealous aruani are fun and all, but...what if it's their friend that's the reason for the jealousy??? No love triangles.

Annie suddenly feels a twinge of irritation when she sees Pieck say something to Armin and they laugh together. Or maybe Armin overhears gossip about how Annie Leonhart and Connie Springer look so cute together. The next time he sees Connie, his stomach twists. And it's terrible!

Considering how Armin and Annie both have self-esteem issues...well, I can see how that could happen. Irritation, doubt, jealousy, and self-loathing for feeling that way about a friend. it's just painful, stupid and awkward. I have no idea how they will solve this😗

Hello jealousy anon! As promised, and thank you for the ask, it made me laugh xD

Because of-fucking-course there's nobody more capable of causing problems for Aruani off more than their very own family xD If you ask me, outsiders don't have the type of talent the other four have in creating misunderstandings and unnecessary chaos xD Plot-required-3rd-party-love-interest who? Move over, here's Connie the Springer man!

At first it's all quite unintentional. Connie spends time with Annie because Circumstances and Coincidence and hardly notices Armin's watery puppy eyes gazing at him from a depressing corner. It's not like Armin ever says anything out loud either because of course, he's happy! He's happy Annie has a silly friend that makes her laugh and forget that she's awkward and possibly frightening around people. He's glad Connie comes prepackaged with a whole lot of shitty jokes that happen to tickle her. He's really fucking glad Connie treats Annie like he treats everyone else!

But. Connie can also... dance. Really well. Like the guy's got those moves and can easily take Annie for a nice spin. He also... makes her laugh, like... a lot? A lot lot? Hm.. has Annie ever laughed like that with me? Uh... yeah, nevermind that, um- oh god, Connie's been looking pretty nice lately in those suits and he's rather good with the whole easy-fashion thing and uh- well shit, it's Connie, he's my friend, he's not- no, I mean, that photo in the newspapers was just an accidental shot, of course Annie was just laughing at his bad joke but well... she did look really happy with him and, oh shit--

Man.

Pieck on the other hand, doesn't fuck with people more than necessary. I don't actually see her getting *too* close with Armin but they do become very good friends! They have a lot in common, (for example music) and vibrate on the same atomic level of "yeah this is wrong and backhanded and probably will get us arrested in 18 countries but lets do it hehe". Hc that they probably get off to a slightly rocky start as Pieck doesn't put much faith in Armin's "naivete" and harbours resentment for his blowing up of Liberio's port, but as time goes by, they grow closer!

Maybe... too much closer for someone's liking 💀

Because okay? Annie gets it, she finds politics too boring and her takes end up being too cynical and skeptical in the room. Technically, she's glad Armin has someone in Pieck who will humour his ideas with a generous (but nice) dash of realism. Also, they enjoy picking out records together and she often finds them nodding their heads to a new tune once home.

She's glad, okay?

She is, she really is-

*sound of a thigh being stabbed followed by sounds of Reiner screaming*

Pieck is a cheerful girl tho 🥲

On a serious note, both Aruani are going to feel like total crap about this jealousy tho. Because as you said, it's their friends, their literal family who they share a lot of time and space with, and if anything could be clear it's that none of them want to see Aruani unhappy. So its not real, it's not anything to worry about, it's all just in their heads-

And yet.

Tbh the extra funny bit about this is gonna be when Connie and Pieck realize what they're doing to their poor lemonheads xD

"What! We're making you jealous?! wHAaT?? ... Hell YEAH, LET'S TURN IT UP!"

🥲🥲🥲🥲

I mean what else did you expect lol, Pieck and Connie are that duo who are going to derive more entertainment from their very own organic, homegrown family-drama than the moving pictures being shown in the town-square.

Suddenly it's all: "HEHE Armin, I bought Annie CAKES, see? FIVE Cakes! FiVE delICIOUS cakes and *I* am going to give it to her! Me!"

and: "Annniieeeeeeee~~ Oh no, why the long face this morning? Btw did you know Armin wants kids? Like a lot of kids? He told me- oh, he didn't tell you? Hehe I thought you'd be the first to know hehehehehe"

Their approaches to fanning this dumpster fire are different 😌

Their solution when things get too Sad?? Lock Aruani up in a room. Always ends well.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I was watching a reaction on YouTube to dune part 2 and when I looked at the comments section there were a few people saying that they didn't understand why chani was angry and felt betrayed at the end of the film, that she should have recognised that Paul's proposal was political and been OK with it. Honestly I was a bit flabbergasted because how do miss the point that badly, how do you get to the end of the movie and not understand why chani is so angry and why she feels betrayed by paul?

Like to me it's very obvious why she's rightly upset and heartbroken and it actually has little to do with paul proposing to irulan, like chani knows it's political and this isn't a jealousy thing, its what the action represents, that paul is making a play for more power. Throughout the film paul makes a series of statements or you could even call them promises that he then breaks.

The first is that he is not the mahdi and that he doesn't want to lead the fremen. He says this at least twice, the first time after his mother drinks the water of life and the second after he and chani make love. He then breaks this promise at the war council when he publicly declares himself the Lisan al gaib and says he will lead them to paradise, making himself their leader.

Speaking of when they made love, in that scene he also promised her that he would always be with her, as long as he breathed, then when he drank the water of life he risked her losing him, she went through that moment of grief and trauma when she thought he was dead. Also he couldn't guarantee before drinking the water that he would survive it, so understandably, she is angry about him taking that risk.

He also promised her that he didn't want power and then he grasped for power again and again, he took on the family atomic arsenal, he took control of the fremen fundamentalists, he made a grab for the throne of the Known Universe when he proposed to the Princess, this was the issue that chani had with paul proposing.

Finally he promised to be her equal. Right before their first kiss she tells him that here on arrakis they are equals and what they do is done for the benefit of all. His reply, his promise to her is that he would like to be her equal but come the end of the film he has placed himself in a position of power over her and her people as the Duke of Arrakis and as Emperor of the Known Universe. Not only that but by asking for the princess' hand he has placed a foreigner, another woman in a position of power and control over chani and her people. The cherry on top is that paul also then commits her people to a holy war that most definitely does not benefit them.

I think the fact that a few of these promises made were done at vulnerably open and emotional moments between them, their first kiss, after they've just made love, makes him breaking them even more painful for her. It's like it now taints those moments because now whenever she thinks back on those moments she'll be reminded of those promises he broke.

I think the situation is so much more complicated than just the man I love has proposed to another woman and now I'm smad and I think that was made really clear in the film. If a guy made you a series of promises and then broke everyone of them you'd be upset. If that same guy had found his way into your heart, if he knew how passionately you felt about your people and how much you hated this prophecy and then still embraced the role of prophet and used your people for his own gain, you'd be upset. Him proposing to another woman was the least of her concerns. Sadly I think the only promise paul does/will keep is the last one he makes her, that he'll love her as long as he breathes, but it's not enough.

And I'm saying all of this as a die hard paulxchani fan who hopes they somehow find their way back to each other.

[mycartoonmonster]

Bill Cipher and Mabel Pines Similarities

Both are Agents of Chaos that can cause chaos without much issue and quite easily(Bill leaning into Chaotic Evil while Mabel leans into Chaotic Good/Neutral)

Both LOVE to party and more often than not are the souls of the party.

Both are creative and have a weird, wild imagination.

Both have a sense of style (Bill's tophat and bowtie and Mabel with her sweaters and with her headpieces and hair accesories) with them having what's possible the most extensive wardrobe among the show's cast-Mabel changes sweaters in all episodes and Bill uses different hats across the book as well as changing his clothes to match what the pages show. Both of them starting to be stylish from a very young age.

Both seem really fond of tophats or hats and formal attires in general- Mabel dresses Waddles with a top-hat in Carpet Diem, does have a pen with a top-hat wearing dog, likes the idea of double hats in her guide to fashion and when Dipper comes with the game DD&MD she suggests he found dogs with hats and she's delighted at the idea of making dresses with her glue gun for the Northwest's party where Bill shows great pride on his tophat and affirms he looks great in formal wear.

Both have guides to everything where they talk about similar topics (love and fashion) even if these contain wrong info due to their POVs like with facts about the human body and the origins of stickers and color.

Both aren't disturbed by weird stuff but actually seem rather attracted to it, with both being fond of or fans of supernatural creatures as seen with Bill´s page about cryptids and Mabel being delighted at the possibility that her boyfriend in Tourist Trapped turns out to be a vampire.

Both like to use make-up and do makeovers, both in physical appearence and interior design (Mabel constantly playing it with her friends and she remodels the Hand witch's cave and Bill does mention makeovers are needed so your partner doesn't find about your blood soaked past, comments on his new 3D look to Ford and designed the Fearamid-getting upset over the door being destroyed)

Both are artists but specialize better in other areas of design (Both do have bit of a sketchy/scribbly style when it comes to certain stuff like Bill drawing himself or the Catticatures but Bill has shown to have a knack for graphic design as seen in his book or with the Fearamid and Mabel can knit and sculpt-one that was so real that Stan almost thinks it's Ford-and also has an eye for room decoration as seen with her part of the room she shares with Dipper or the Hand Witch's Cave)

Both are loners who can attract people to them thanks to their charm and personality (Bill with his love of chaos became friends with the henchmaniacs whereas Mabel instantly clicked with Candy and Greta by being weirdos not as popular as Pacifica and her friends)

Both hold themselves in high regard-Mabel's confident in her own habilities, charm and traits vs Bill's ego-but deep down are insecure about how others perceive them.

They sometimes choose violence

Both have a laugh that can result annoying to some

Both dont seemingly have a nice indoor voice; with Bill thinking in capital letters and Mabel is known for being rather loud.

Both rarely take off their characteristic pieces of clothing like the sweater or his hat and bowtie and if they do it's only for brief periods of time (Mabel takes her sweater off after she's humilated by Pacifica and doesn't put it back on for a few hours in Pioneer Day and she use that much on Deep Dive due to the massive heat or her being in a swimsuit and Bill takes his hat to wipe it clean after his first fight with the gang or just to tip Dipper in his dream in Sock Opera and to show Ford the last atoms of Euclydia)

Both see themselves as underappreciated in their time (Bill in his home dimension and Mabel claims to be underappreciated in ep 4)

Both have been chastized/mocked for being themselves (Bill by talking about the stars or the 3rd dimension and Mabel by her goofiness)

Both dislike certain types of music (Country in Mabel's case synthethised music in Bill's case)

Both taught/showed stuff to women they shouldn't have (Mabel showed the pioneers how to high five, told her they would vote much later on, showed her glowing shoes and Bill by showing them witchcraft when disguised as a goat)

Both have eaten stuff they shouldn't or isn't normal to consume (Illegal punch, alcoholic dream beverages, spiders and his exoskeleton in Bill's case whereas Mabel constantly eats raw sugar, drank her conccoction Mabel juice, munched on a leaf and took too much smile dip as well as getting one trip to the hospital for eating scratch and sniff stickers)

Both got intoxicated once-Mabel with the smile dip to the point she could see magic dogs and Bill with alcohol at a bar.

Both turn to drinks when upset over things not going their way or something of theirs is ruined.

Both think messing with Dipper is fun and both saw his search history.

Both like to tease Dipper about his crush on Wendy-Mabel throughout season 1 whereas Bill does point it out to his clones in the deleted Dreamscaperers dream sequence with Dipper and Bill and Bill makes nods to that in his book like when talking about Wendy's dreams or when he brings up his search history which include stuff like her social media and pictures of lumberjack redheads.

Both have written stuff in Journal 3 and or used it for personal use-Bill writing codes and secret messages and later using the pages and personal notes of Ford to plaster them in his own book and Mabel used it for her play to impress Gabe and wrote in it after the events of Sock Opera and The last Mabelcorn.

Both like karaoke and had a karaoke night with a Stan Twin.

Both can be selfish when putting their wants and needs over other's (at least Mabel recognizes her mistakes, apologizes for them and learn from them)

Both have messed with animals (Mabel was pretending to be a ventriloque with a seagull, played matchmaker with an owl, got banned from a petting zoo by recreating an unicorn with a horse, a traffic cone and duct tape and punched an unicorn in the face while Bill messes with a deer's teeth and in the deleted storyboards for Weirdmageddon he forced a passing deer to kiss Ford's golden statue)

Both tried to trick gnomes to do their job-Mabel's attempt in Gideon Rises at least worked for a while whereas Bill couldn't as they were, according to Bill, too dumb to manipulate.

Both had people younger than them interested in them (Gideon,a ten year old in Mabel's case and Bill is waaaaaaaay older than Ford in human terms)

Both dont like homework.

Both refer to Ford as Fordsy.

Both are among the only people Ford feels comfortable showing his hands.

Both like rolling on grass.

Both seem to have similar tastes in books-Bill wrote erotica with The Love Triangle and Grenda brought her mom's age inappropiate love novels to a sleepover so they could all read them and we have a page where it shows what seem to be not only movies but books that parody sagas like twilight

Both have created sock pupets of someone (Bill of Ford and Mabel out of herself and Dipper among other people in Gravity Falls)

Both recognize McGucket's mind is badly messed up-This being among the few things that shook Bill.

Both view Toby Determinated as a very strange person to the point Bill himself says he tracks with other Cryptids even if he cant prove he's actually one.

Both have a pet (Mabel has Waddles while Bill thinks of Teeth as one)

Both had possesion of people they saw as their pets they didnt wanna get rid of for a while, becoming angry and agressive at the possibility of them being taken away or leaving them behind cause both seek affection they found in them (The Several Times band and Ford Pines) but at least Mabel learned to let them go.

Both like to showcase their teeth in pictures

Both like running things in their own ways and were the respective bosses of certain places for some time-The Mystery Shack and Nightmare realm.

Both seem to like cinema, especially animation (Bill makes references to movies such as Chicago with the "We both reached for the gun" as well as dorothy and her pet from the wizard of oz in the deleted page where we´re shown his autonomy, referenced Chernabog from Disney´s Fantasia or other horror movies in his book and refers to rubberhose animation as a riot or the "dark arts" in a fond tone and Mabel has seen an anime movie parody of Spirited Away a great number of times-82-,grew up on High School musical like movies, constantly watches the movies that featured Ryler and Crash)

Both have what could be considered "odd" fears-Mabel fears Stop Motion and Bill cant stand 3D glasses among blinds and TV static.

Both like to add smiley faces to things.

The have figurines of members of the Pines Family and/or the town.

Both use white out, crayons to scratch things they dont like out of books like how Bill covers the section of the Great Gatsby, the section of his exes, the Euclydian massacre part, the Oracle as part of the Henchmaniacs and the Guide to cannibalism in his book when Ford confronts him about his origins and Mabel in how she covers the dialog of the comic's characters in Lost Legends or some things in her writing journal 3.

Both dont like the idea of time moving foward-with Bill saying it in Journal 3 and considering the idea of stopping time moving as something fun

Both became gods of destruction twice, first time accidental and second time with full intention (Mabel by giving away the Rift and later destroying MabelLand while Bill by accidently setting his home dimension ablaze and later on with Weirdmageddon)

Both in a way created their own paradise; MabelLand and Weirdmageddon, with both of them saying the party will never end

Both have places with their name on it-MabelLand and Billvile

Both, in the realms they reign over, can make something happen by doing hand gestures like clasping hands or snapping their fingers; Mabel can manifest whatever she wants by clapping her hands in MabelLand (also we have the Mabel's guide to stickers where she removes Dipper with a snap, yelling edit, and adds stuff she likes instead) and Bill can twist reality as he sees fit in the mindscape and Weirdmageddon and can manipulate neurons as he likes to give people pleasure or pain and rearrange them so the victim can forget memories or have them constantly hearing an ever increasing tune or have their optic nerves rearranged so their sight is upside down.

Although their paradise is meant to be lawless there are unspoken rules people must follow to stay there like obeying Bill and not bringing up reality.

Their residence in said paradise is at the top of towers built to their liking.

Both of them have artworks that depict them with crowns in the places they rule.

Both regret what they did even if it was 100% accidental-Weirdmageddon and the Euclydian Massacre

They were indirectly responsible for the creations of holes and cracks on the Earth-Bill with the Bottomless pit and Mabel with a crater dubbed Mabel's fault by Dipper in Lost Legends.

Both seem rather good at golf.

Both got injured with paint in their eyes (Mabel accidently doing it to herself and Bill thanks to Mabel)

Both have a couple of exes, with at least one of them being human (despite Bill saying he doesn't have any, he's implied to have had relationships with different people like Bloody Mary or the Void and we have the situationship he had with Ford)

When it comes to flirting they propose the idea of marriage

Both have wrong views or are misguided when it comes to love (Bill has the twisted idea that the love cage is the way to go if you want to be loved, thinking fear and love are the same and that loving means possesion while Mabel has been spoon fed and grew up in teen romance movies with romanticed versions of love and relationships all her life, her love tests are kinda unvalid or serve as a true guide for romance and she even states if you and your partner dont match you must force it to be ideal for eachother which can be taken the wrong way and she´s untrained in the subject regardless if her attempts at matchmaking have worked/are at least somewhat stable and she's still a child learning about life)

Both dressed in similar ways when it comes to playing cupid

Both had an archnemesis/rivalry with someone who's supposed to be the opposite of them but that also share some similarities with-Pacifica and Ford.

Both were in jail for a few hours-County jail for falsifying money and for wrecking a restaurant and harming the bystanders before the Henchmaniacs got him out.

Both have a criminal record (Mabel-falsifying money and Bill-manslaugther, physical assault, fraud and/or extorsion, theft, stalking, destruction of property and disturbance of the peace)

Both cant deal with Mabel's brain for too long; Mabel grew tired of other alternative versions of herself and Bill almost blows his cover when angry after everything he had to do in her brain and learning little to nothing he could exploit for his own plans.

Both dont like dealing with/talking of alternative versions of them that are their opposites-Anti-Mabel and Anti-Bill Cipher

They leave an "I was here" sign with their names

Both are seen as goth by Alex Hirsch (A non canon grown up version of Mabel drawn by Hirsch shows her being goth while Bill was described as a goth girl by Alex)

Golden statues

When the possiblity of death is near them; they say similar phrases:

Both are implied to be queer or at least bisexual (Mabel is implied to be bi thanks to several heart stickers linking her to to the bisexual flag as well as being included in the Chibi Tiny Tales Pride Video and some of Bill´s implied exes are female like Bloody Mary or the Black Hole, Bill´s has an article which says "Lock up your wives and husbands, folks!" showing he´s also interested in men, during his time as Silas Birchtree he attempted to get as many wives as possible in his cult and whatever Ford and Bill had was certainly not heteronormative in any way)

Both think highly of Quentin Trembley

Both were denied positions of power by the goverment-Mabel isnt recognized as a congress woman as they dont value Trembley's opinion and the founding fathers refused to make deals with Bill

Both use variations of their names such as William Lucipher and Mableangelo and Lady Mabelton or use different allieses Mr. Upsidedowningtonand and Vinegar Pete

Both of them do covers/their own version of real life songs such as We'll Meet Again and Call Me Maybe

Both keep collections or souvenirs of the adventures the Pines family go through

[velvetvexations]

I'm being stalked by someone who screams that I can't stop talking about her despite her having it made it clear she wants "no contact" and then screenshots my blog to spread more lies about me in spite of the fact that I have her blocked and block evading is supposed to be one of my grievous sins

like literally the most I have talked about her recently was with a coded name that doesn't even reference her URL in response to her taking a screenshot of my post and calling me pro-American because memes are hilarious but IRL seriously I would have preferred 9/11 not have happened

I am still not using her URL or her fucking name while she goes around saying VELVET VEXATIONS SHOULD DRINK BLEACH BECAUSE SHE SAID DONALD TRUMP DOESN'T BELIEVE TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN NOW EXCUSE ME I SAW MY LEAST FAVORITE COLOR AND NEED TO COMPOSE A MELINCHOLY POEM TO PROCESS THE GRIEF IT'S CAUSED ME

every time a transradfem equates discussing how transphobes feel about us is the same as misgendering other trans people, that's fucking pathetic assuming it's a genuine belief and not just something to performatively break into tears over as intoxicatingly self-righteous justification for thinking only the people they fetishize should be allowed to exist

but apparently! this person has another stalker who sends her posts to other people! and that's really interesting to me, you know, because the only post of her's I've ever received from an anon was one in which she was talking about me! And when that person came off anon to say it was them that sent it, she took a screenshot of that admission but did not include me telling them off for stirring shit

too bad I decided to delete the admission due them using her name and can't prove I gave them that dressing down, clearly I shouldn't have fucking bothered since innocence itself is no protection

she seriously can't stop calling me a TERF while actual no-bullshit TERFs are openly calling on one another to email publishers trying to get me canceled for writing a fanfic where it's briefly mentioned a trans teenager wore her sister's clothes without asking, what the fuck does any transradfem know about TERFs when I'm dealing with actual TERFs and all they are to them is an abstract concept used to bludgeon trans men and non-binary people with

these fucking people do not experience actual fucking problems, they do not have any conception of what an actual problem is, they sit around lying about the traitorous Queen of Tee Em Eees, puppet of the completely fictional AFAB patriarchy, because they do not have real problems and have never had one in their entire lives, like all fucking people who can't go five seconds without reminding you they're a communist because they think it's cool and trendy and makes them sound smart to say things like dialetic materialist epistemology transubstantiating within the imperial core of the glocal northsouth without actually engaging in any of the actual ideals that make communism laudable and worthy of sincere pursuit

the temptation is to say that transradfems do it because they feel powerless to do anything about actual social issues on any level and lash out at anyone they can feel good taking a swing at, but I don't give a fuck, I'm not willing to give them that they're just misguided, I don't think there's a single atom in the being of even one transradfem that cares about about anything beyond the clout they can extract from it, at best everything they whine about is less than a fourteen year old on Livejournal writing about how unfair it is when their parents won't let them get a tattoo except usually the the fourteen year old would be relaying actual events that actually happened

and I straight up do not fucking believe anyone gets hate mail over interactions I've had with them either, I fucking do not believe those obviously bullshit lies while I still get anons calling me zipperits and trying to trigger dysphoria on the assumption that works on me for saying I think transmascs aren't cis men

in fact, I kinna half-joked about it before, but I think I now just fully believe it one hundred percent was a fucking trans rad fem - probably even this one in particular! - who sent my published work to that TERF the other day, because I haven't had that pinned or brought it up in months and I've never gotten attention from TERFs before this month outside of one or two comments that went nowhere

motherfucking hellsite

fucking internet

fucking stupid motherfuckers

[a-bottle-of-tyelenol]

agere five hargreeves headcanons !!

— requested by @acpola01 —

— read part one here —

— cw: trauma and food issues

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

❤️ - five had a small collection of regression gear that he scavenged in the apocalypse and, much like he went back to find dolores, he spends a considerable amount of time trying to find the exact ones that he had originally. he’s very particular because he didn’t have a lot of stuff in the apocalypse and he isn’t used to being around people who can touch and take his things. his siblings try to get him more things and he always rejects it, though he does appreciate the thought.

❤️ - little five loves explaining things to other people. he’s a boy genius and does have a genuine interest in science and mathematics. his siblings don’t understand a single thing he’s saying half the time, but they think his excited baby babbles are really cute. luther is the only one that can follow him (in certain areas) and it surprises everyone else because no one expected him to be so knowledgeable about astrophysics. every so often, five does find an interest that the rest can properly engage with him in, but it’s usually super obscure things like his strangely specific love of transportation (it started with him liking race cars and building model planes with luther as a kid and turned into him studying the bodies of cars, boats, trains, and planes throughout the apocalypse. as someone who can teleport, he thinks regular forms of transportation are fascinating and he used to love traveling the world during the peak of his superhero career).

❤️ - he cries when something breaks or when he can’t use it anymore. like I said, he’s very attached to his things (there’s even a bowl of broken watches he collected canonically in his bedroom from his personal tests and training) and he hates having to replace anything. despite his irritation at having to redress in his old uniform, it’s so familiar and it’s his so he really struggles when he starts outgrowing them— to the point where he raids the academy storage rooms for any that might fit growth spurt and he ends up with ben’s old uniforms from before he died. five’s uniforms also make him feel younger so he has trouble throwing them out. he does enjoy sleeping in clothes taken from his siblings, though.

❤️ - he often has flashbacks to the apocalypse and, in the beginning, he’d force himself back into mindset of an assassin and refuse to let it shake him. after a while of being safe and at home, however, his body starts moving out of survival mode and it hits him all at once as his brain processes everything that’s happened to him. this means that there are a lot of times where he regresses during a flashback and cries until someone notices and comes to help him. more often than he’d like, that person was grace, leaving him to clutch onto her like he would when he was a baby while she coos and rocks him. grace doesn’t understand that he regresses, she merely does as her programming dictates and it dictates she takes care of her babies when they’re upset.

❤️ - he gets a service dog (mr. pennycrumb) who helps ground him during his moments of panic and is trained to help five with tasks, like reminding him that humans do, in fact, need to eat every so often (five is used to being hungry and he often forgets to handle his basic needs when he’s too invested in something else). little five loves playing with his dog and the two of them are inseparable. he likes having mr. pennycrumb sit beside dolores so he can play teacher. more than once, his siblings have walked in on him having a VERY serious lecture about the atomic structure of different elements while being no older than six years old.

[mercurytrinemoon]

Venus cycle: conjunctions with the Sun, its retrogrades and how it all works

Because Venus just stationed retrograde so here's all you need to know 💖

One of the best aspects one can have in a natal chart is probably Venus conjunct the Sun. There is one catch though - the orb of that conjunction has to be smaller than 1 degree (or, even better, 0°17' - this is the orb I personally give), otherwise Venus is said to be combust. Now, combust planets aren't necessarily all bad, but being so close to Sun makes them operate in a shadow or, how I like to call it, on a backstage. Venus being overshadowed by the big hot luminary will still be full of charm, allure and talent but it may feel like it's not being recognized. Alternatively, those talents can be used on a literal backstage, for example, when working with or for other people who present themselves on stage - literally or figuratively.

But what if Venus is extremely close to Sun, within that small orb? Well we call it cazimi - which means in the heart of the Sun. It gives Venus bonification but also carries the energy of a reset of some sorts because it marks the beginning of a Venus cycle - people born on a conjunction have the ability to start projects, constantly reinvent themelves. They're often also trailblazers.

How often does a Venus cazimi occur? About once a year BUT - and that's an important part - they're conjunct in the same sign every 4 years, alternately when Venus is direct (exterior/superior conjunction) and retrograde (inferior conjunction). So, this year cazimi will happen when retrograde in Aries, 4 years ago happened when direct and 8 years ago when retrograde again. So 8 years is Venus' synodic cycle - this is how it takes for her to be in the same position in regards to Sun. Her cycle is nearly perfect and you've probably heard that if we were to connect the points of cazimi on a chart with lines, it would create a star (it's also often called the rose of Venus). And because of that perfect nature of the cycle, conjunctions in the same sign happen almost at the same degree each time, just being roughly two days shy of and exact cycle. And because of that, it slowly moves backwards. So, for example, the Sun-Venus exterior conjunction in Aries happened on March 31st 2005 (10°31’), then March 28th 2013 (8°10’) and March 26th 2021 (5°50’)… and so on.

RETROGRADE: GOOD OR BAD?

It is stereotypically said that Venus retrograde is not a favorable time. I'd say yes and no. During the retograde, Venus goes into the underworld, goes through a rebirth and comes back as a feisty warrior-like morning star (just like in the myth of Inanna, who was the sumerian og incarnation of a goddess of love). This means Venus changes her point of view and becomes indeed more feisty, demanding and sometimes scandalous. A few Venus retrograde examples? Amy Winehouse, who had a very specific, recognizable image and a distinct musical talent that couldn't be replicated - you hear Amy, you instantly know it's her. She had a darker vibe, very in the style of Venus retrograde. She also battled mental health issues and addiction. Mariah Carey is a more optimistic example (again, talent like no other) although for years media coined her as a diva (in a pejorative way) and as a child she suffered discrimination from peers (that's the element of retrograde-y banishment). Actresses like Charlize Theron or Jodie Foster carried their retrograde-y character through movie roles they were choosing (Atomic blonde, Mad Max, Monster, The silence of the lambs or The Accused all have the essence of an underground Venus). Jack Nicholson is another one who embodies that theme in a lot of the movie roles he picks (One flew over the cuckoo's nest, The shining, The witches of eastwick), he also has a very distinct charm to him, despite not being conventionally attractive. Interestingly, since Venus rules women in one's chart, he grew up thinking his mother was his sister and his grandmother - his mother. Very retrograde-y.

So, Venus retrograde doesn't have to be bad. And we'll talk about it in a second when we look at Dua Lipa.

VENUS AS A CLOCK

For me though, what's important is, that people born during the retrograde or close to the superior conjunction, are somewhat branded with Venus' synodic cycle. It's like they carry a meter, a clock that's counting down to important events in their life. And I think this is one of the most powerful ways astrology shows how predestined our lives are. There's an amazing episode of The Astrology Podcast (watch HERE) where they look at lives of "time twins" Hitler and Chaplin and every. single. breakthrough they had in their lives happened during the Venus retrograde in Aries (they were both born during retrograde in that sign). Heck, Hitler even died during one. Now tell me it wasn't literally written (and set in stone) in the stars?

DUA LIPA AND THE POWER OF THE RETROGRADE

Dua was born exactly on a Venus cazimi in Leo. What's more, that conjunction is right on top of Regulus, a fixed star that symbolizes royalty, succes and wealth. Sure, Dua's popularity doesn't match the one of Billie Eilish or Taylor Swift but she slowly but surely gained a pretty decent popularity worldwide - and that is rare for a British-based artist. Her Venus cazimi lays in her 3rd house of thought and adds themes of her Venus-ruled 5th house of creativity.

And, you guessed it, Dua does operate under Venus cycles. She was born during a superior conjunction, so while Venus was direct, somehow she's more influenced by retrogrades. Her first single was released during Venus retrograde in Leo in August of 2015, which clearly brough her luck. During the retrograde in the same sign in 2023 she took a pretty huge part in the Barbie film (a very Venus retrograde-y movie as well). After the release and after retrograde was over, Dua hit a reset (literally as she wiped her whole instagram) and started promoting her next album - and that is the reset I was talking about in the beginning. It's constant reinvention. During that time she also announced that her real ascendant lays in Gemini as opposed to Libra, which is a funny cherry on top.

She also seems to react to other retrogrades as well. During one in Capricorn a few year ago she released her newsletter and then podcast Servce95, which seems to be pretty popular to this day.

See??? Starting things during the retrograde doesn't have to be bad!

Similar example? Ella Fitzgeralt was also born with Venus cazimi in her chart. She was a Leo rising and the conjunction fell into her 10th house in Taurus - a sign ruled by Venus. She was destined to be on stage and to become a music icon - Taurus is known for beautiful voice and grace so this is a perfect representation of a cazimi in that sign.

Her life was also directed by Venus cycles. Her debut stage performance took place one day after Venus conjoined with the Sun in Scorpio in 1934. She had heart surgery in 1986 right before the retrograde. Then in 1991, also before the retrograde, she performed on stage for the last time in her life. Ella eventually passed away just a few days after the cazimi in Gemini in 1996.

So, we see some of her important life events coincided with Venus going retrograde or conjoining the Sun… although in her case, it all took place in signs other than Taurus, interestingly.

DIFFERENT SIDES OF VENUS CAZIMI AND IT'S COMBUSTION

Okay but timing aside… let's look at a couple of other examples of people being born with Venus in the heart of the Sun and see how it affected their lives.

Gordon Ramsey! This is one of my favorite examples of a Venus cazimi because it's not stereotypically obvious. Gordon wasn't necessarily endowed with beauty and charm but let's not forget that Venus rules food, pleasure and taste! His natal conjunction falls in… Scorpio. This is probably where his prickly nature comes from. Venus is also presence and he became one of the most recognizeable and charismatic tv personalities of the recent decades.

Princess of Monaco, Charlene, was also born with Venus cazimi that landed on her MC. Her ascendant is in Taurus so Venus exalted her as a person and literally put her on a royal throne through marriage with Prince Albert. Sun rules her 4th house of family so that brings in the family aspect to the mix. Unfortunately, Venus cazimi doesn't have to mean luck in love. She has other stuff in her chart that indicate pain and struggles, like her Moon being besieged by Mars and Saturn. She was labelled as the saddest bride in history as she got married after news broke that her soon-to-be husband was having affairs left and right (she tried to escape the country 3 times, allegedly and cried during their wedding). She's with his ugly ass to this day. What's important to note is that her Venus is still in the same degree as the Sun although it passed the 0°17' mark - does Venus really get combust at that point and is this also the reason for her partner's hidden secrets?

Interestingly, her time twin is Ukraine's president Zelenskyy - they were born on the same day (!!!) and have ascendants in sextiling signs (he's a Gemini rising). It's safe to say they have a similar experience as being the face of politics (it's the Sun's throne but also Venus rules diplomacy and riches). Additionally, Zelenskyy used to be an actor - another venusian career. And just like Charlene, depending on the school of thought, his Venus is already combust and there are themes of suspected hidden "backstage" activity he was accused for for a few years now. Could that be a combust Venus' doings as well? What's certain though is that the conjunction did endow him with likeability and composure either way.

OK BUT WHAT ABOUT ROMANCE?

I know you're all asking: but what about love? It is commonly said that number one rule during a Venus retrograde is to stay away from new relationships as they may end quicker than they started (or, quicker than Venus goes direct again that is). Honestly? I'd say no to that and although it may be that people from the past may come back during that period for a brief fling, if you find someone new during the retrograde and you feel there's substance to it, that might be your long-term destiny indeed. Just like we've seen with Dua and Ella, starting something on a retrograde may actually produce good results. Do keep in mind though that you may be putting a timer on that relationship. Also, the relationship may be a bit frowned upon so take that into consideration.

To top it all off, you know who got together during Venus retrograde? Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Their romance started in 2004 when our lovely benefic was retrograde in Gemini (fitting as Angelina is a Gemini while Brad is the sister sign - Sagittarius). Brad was still with Jennifer Aniston so that was scandalous indeed. But that didn't stop them and they quickly became the it couple everyone was swooning over. 4 years later their twins were born (right after the retrograde). 4 more years later - they got engaged (right before the retrograde). Another 4? Angelina filed for divorce. And this is how two whole Venus synodic cycles later Brangelina ceased to exist. That's some impressive astrology right there.

[generouskittentidalwave]

Astro boy reboot, oh boy

So news of the new Astro boy reboot series broke out like WILD FIRE and as I predicted the fandom that has been waiting so long for it is very worried of how it'll turn out

But honestly

I'm actually quite hyped for it.

They removed the Miraculous creator from working on it which is a great start in my book THANK THE HEAVENS. Secondly I don't mind Astro having a girl he has feelings for at 9 as that happened in the 80s version and it was genuinely very sweet (ya know until she was found out to be a bomb and the two had to heartbreakingly seperate by her needing to be taken apart which destroyed the fandom's hearts). And he had plenty of crushes over the years so I'm not phased by it.

The only thing I hope for is that they don't make her human, because the problem with a robot child being together with a normal human child is the fact that she can age and he can't as he is permanently stuck with the mind and body of a 9 year old, so OOOO THAT RELATIONSHIP WILL BE *BAD* IN THE LONG RUN IF THEY MAKE THE RELATIONSHIP A PERMANENT THING AND NOT TEMPORARY.

Now to talk about some other things, I am actually really excited for the plot. It's a very slept on plot on the idea that Astro has to keep his robot identity secret from others to blend in as human and sometimes not even discovering he is a robot himself till later as usually unless told or shown otherwise Astro is mistaken to be a normal human child. That idea of self discovery and finding about who you are, who can from, and who you decide to be is a core trait for Astro and I find the plot as a cool way to show that.

And speaking of which, the elephant in the room. Tobio. By the looks of the plot it makes it known that Astro is gonna have the hero name be Astro when he is fighting and will most likely be called Atom by others AND I HOPE I PRAY TEZUKA GOD OF MANGA YOU BETTER HELP HERE I HOPE that they actually keep in and address the fact that Astro/robot Tobio is a robotic replacement by a father gone mad of his 9 year old dying in a tragic car accident as it's a CORE part of his character. The implication that robot Tobio has been living as a replacement in this series and is discovering himself and who he truly is by becoming Astro would be SO COOL

Lastly, the cgi, ima be honest it looks pretty decent. I like the way it looks as we could've gotten something so much worse if it was animated like Miraculous believe me. It looks bright, cartoony and colorful which ppl associate with it causing stir for it being aimed towards kids but the original Astro boy was also aimed towards kids in that same goofy cartoon style. What made it memorable was the story, the meaning, how a goofy and silly looking manga who could hold such darkness and truth and bringing to light deep societal and human issues while dealing with the inner turmoil of a boy trying to find out who he truly is beyond what he was made for. That he isn't a replacement, that he isn't just a robot. So as long as they are able or atleast TRY to hit that mark, then that's what matters to me more than the style.

In conclusion, it's just the pitch idea mind you, just a summed up concept. Everything is subject to be changed and tweaked as things get made and processed. For all we know it could end up being something completely different. The fandom has a reason to be on edge but we should be atleast a bit more open minded towards it until we see it in action it might not be another 2003 but it's definetly no 2009. And as for the ones working on it with both Tezuka productions and the fandom holding them at gunpoint over a series we've waited nearly a decade for, that better encourage them to give out one hell of a series.

Also Tenma and Oshan better be the same divorced science dads we all know and love or I swear to god-

[oblivionbladetd]

Learning from Lorch: CRITICAL RESEARCH FAILURE!

As the list of the smartest person in any room fails to do 5 minutes of googling, I thought it would be a fantastic time to do it for her.

While I usually preface these talks in that she asks to be rated higher than her actual level of expertise, this one is exceptionally irritating because I will reiterate as many times as I can... SHE IS UPLOADING THESE FICS FROM A DEVICE THAT CAN HAND DELIVER AS MUCH KNOWLEDGE AS SHE COULD EVER NEED IN ACTUAL LITERAL SECONDS! You don't need to have a scientific understanding of the concepts you are using. That's blatantly not a realistic thing everyone can just do. Getting a reasonable approximation, however, is doable and only takes a few minutes. To prove it, I shall now explain a bunch of stuff she donks up that are fairly easy to look up. Follow me below the cut for nerd shit.

To start, let's go with her newest blunder. Avatar Niva averts Chernobyl! This one is a doozy, but there are a few key things that stand out.

1. Airbending radiation. This is simply not possible. She could airbend the fallout maybe, but the ionizing radiation itself has already done plenty of damage for miles before the word go. So... Yeah....

2. Now, if Niva is radioactive, she is either covered inside and out with radioactive particles or has had bits of her converted into radioactive material. We'll just put a pin in that atomic rearranging because she just wouldn't survive it, period. From my brief research, being both at ground zero of the meltdown and covered in radioactive isotopes would basically destroy her DNA if she somehow bends her way out of being microwaved alive. So basically, if not burned alive, she'd certainly be rotting from the inside out. The Avatar is built different, but not that different. Lasting a week is beyond miraculous, lasting three years is simply out of the question.

From here, we move on to Niva's super moves, though since I've covered this before, I'll yadda yadda in saying that the energy needed for these attacks is far greater than the end product. Heating and sand into glass in less than a second would take temperatures hotter than most of the sun using the same energy you could do far more damage than throwing glass. Or evaporating, superheating, and condensing a few 100 million gallons of water for bowling rains.

Now we move to her space epic where I have three things.

1. Space rust. Ignoring that rust is an iron and iron alloy specific problem, corrosion is all but a non-issue in deep space. There's very little to cause the chemical reaction. You'd be more worried about radiation degradation and micrometeors eating away at it. Even if they did have a hull of steel or iron. As bone headed as that would be.

2. Cooling Alignment. Basically, nothing would use that terminology. The alignment of pressure maybe.... using the terminology only serves to confuse and make the engineer extra strange. Either that or the cooling is Feng Shui powered.

3. Palladium Coils. Not unheard of, but not what you'd use in a reactor. Palladium is very wear and corrosion resistant, but it's painfully rare, and the reactor wouldn't need to be prepared for external factors that Palladium is used to resist. Using it as a high yield coil is inefficient.

I know there's surely more, but this is running as long as is, but all of the information I gave was minutes on Google at most. It's not hard to obtain. As a woman who protests as much as she does, you'd think she could be assed, but it seems not.

[ikroah]

I have reached the breaking point, the point of no return, it’s very clear to see a fool like me will never, ever learn. I have reached the breaking point, I hear the drums of doom, I’m gonna flip my wig in one great big atomic boom! —“The Breaking Point,” Bobby Darin (1966)

It Keeps Right On a-Hurtin’ #27 - Ring-a-Ding-Ding VI

Collaborative Issue! Guest Artist: @sas-afras

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Notes / Transcript:

Notes

Huge thanks to Monty over at @sas-afras for getting this one done! I handled the original layout and lettering, but the rest was all them. Layouts like this can seem simple and easy because of how straight-forward and repetitive they are, but when all you've got are a dozen and one reaction shots, every single one of those reaction shots needs to be as perfect as you can get them. And Monty did a hell of a job. Especially on the coloring! Monty, if you're reading this, you're a hell of a good colorist (on top of everything else). Thanks again!

Another note about this issue is that it, along with the previous one, were some of the most difficult to write in this whole damn comic so far. I really hate repeating in-game dialogue verbatim without good reason, but there's really not much else I could do here. It's a very necessary part of the story that is also literally a part in the game where your character is fixed in place listening to a monologue. I took some liberties, did some punch-up, not just for its own sake but to really drive home what I find most interesting and vital here about Mr. House as a character.

Anyway, Agnes is in trouble. And there's only one issue left in Volume 2! The next one closes out this arc of the story, at long last. Stay tuned.

Transcript

INT. LUCKY 38 BASEMENT. From an observation deck of sorts, AGNES SANDS watches several SECURITRON robots position themselves in a testing area, containing several sandbags, dummies, and makeshift fortifications. A voice booms from an unseen speaker.

MR. HOUSE: You're well familiar with my Securitron police force. But have you ever wondered: what exactly makes them the marquee option in perimeter security and pacification?

AGNES glances in the direction of the voice, uncomfortable.

MR. HOUSE: Well to start, the reinforced titanium alloy housing of each unit, which protects its electronic core, easily deflects small arms and shrapnel.

MR. HOUSE: As for its offensive capabilities, its X-25 gatling laser—produced to spec by Glastinghouse, Inc.—is deadly against soft targets at medium range.

SFX: BZZTZZTZZTZZTZZT

AGNES recoils as a red glow washes over her from the testing area.

MR. HOUSE: And then for close-range suppression or crowd control, the Securitron is also armed with a 9mm sub-machinegun.

SFX: DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA

AGNES shuts her eyes, wincing from the crack of gunfire.

MR. HOUSE: These features have been sufficient for keeping the peace within Vegas, but with the NCR and Legion closing in on Hoover Dam, and sizing up my city like a piece of prize cake, more than ever we need to be prepared for, well...external conflict. Policing is one thing, but when geopolitical powers are involved, my Securitrons can only pose so much of a threat.

MR. HOUSE: That is...if they're forced to rely exclusively on their secondary weapons--as they have been, all this time!

AGNES looks upward, surprised.

MR. HOUSE: Remember, the Great War interrupted a pivotal moment for RobCo's work. Consequently, all extant Securitrons have been stuck, running on a mere Mark I operating system—the first production version of the OS—which has simply lacked the software drivers for the use of their primary weapons all this time!

AGNES looks around, as if HOUSE were in the room somewhere and she could find him, in a panic.

MR. HOUSE: The platinum chip, you see, was never just a token. At a time when industrial espionage ran rampant, it was minted as a high capacity, proprietary, and uniquely irreplicable data storage device. In a way, it's more like a computer chip. And now—with the data from the platinum chip finally installed onto my nextwork—it's time for a very crucial software update. Behold: the new Mark II Securitrons!

AGNES gawks downward at the testing area, eyes wide. Oh no.

MR. HOUSE: Their newly accessible M-235 Missile Launcher gives them the ability to engage ground and air targets at significantly longer ranges...

SFX: PSSSSSHHH KTHOOM THOOM THOOM THOOM

AGNES flinches, covering her face for protecting, and screams as explosions rip apart the testing area below.

MR. HOUSE: ...and their rapid-fire G-28 grenade launching system, another part of the Mark II, makes them much more powerful in close-range engagements as well.

SFX: THMP THMP THMP KRRSSH KRAKTK KABOOM

AGNES, nearly frozen, watches the bombardment with horror.

MR. HOUSE: It also includes rewritten drivers for the Securitrons' auto-repair systems—although always sophisticated, the new optimizations render them inexhaustible in even the most protracted and attritious of engagements. Altogether, the Mark II upgrade confers a 235% total increase in combat effectiveness per unit—and it's all because of you!

AGNES lowers her arm slowly, jaw slack, mortified.

MR. HOUSE: Vegas finally has an army—worthy to protect not just the city itself, but the best interests of all of mankind, at home and abroad. Which is to say: this simple display of might remains a mere teaser for what I can, and what I will, accomplish, in an illustrious new epoch.

AGNES sinks further into a paralytic terror.

MR. HOUSE: What we will accomplish, Agnes—should you accept my offer, of employment. Ah—but I digress. I'm certain that you've had a long day. You can rejoin Miss Cassidy in the presidential suite for the night, if you'd like to, as they say, "sleep on it."

MR. In fact...say for as long as you'd like. However long you may need, to think everything over. And you'll be very well provided for in the meantime, consider it a taste of what could be...should you make the right choice before you.

MR. HOUSE: That reminds me—I've already sent Victor to collect your belongings from the Vault 22 Hotel, so no need to exhaust yourself further by making that trip on your own, hm? There's much about your future to consider, Agnes—and I would like you to think of it as our future.

AGNES stares straight ahead with a deadened expression.

The testing area in the basement has been reduced to smithereens. Fires rage on the rubble of obliterated structures, gnarled steel, and collapsed walkways. The dummies have been dismembered entirely.

MR. HOUSE: ...Goodness, what a mass. With friends like these, I sure wouldn't envy my enemies.

MR. HOUSE: Wouldn't you agree?

[wlwanakin]

I absolutely agree that Anakin would’ve fallen sooner if he didn’t have Padmé by his side! She really brought out the best in him, and he felt the most happy with her which kept him together. Without her, he 1000% would’ve probably fell the minute Shmi died. Anakin having those visions of Padmé in ROTS really gave Palpatine the shortcut to his end goal. Otherwise Anakin would not have ever fallen, if he never saw those dreams.

BtwI loved your ship ask post! Do you have any other Anidala headcanons you could share with us? 👀 of course, no pressure if you don’t <3

yeah anakin’s constantly surrounded by people who view and treat him as Potentially Dangerous and padmé is pretty much the only person who isn’t doing that at all and she asserts his goodness more than anyone, and without her it’s like. if you treat someone like an atomic bomb consistently enough they’re going to start exploding. and without her all he’s got left is people who treat him like an atomic bomb. don’t see how anyone thinks that could end well.

and thank you!! i have so many headcanons so here are some lighthearted quick fire ones off the top of my head:

anakin loves affectionate biting. if a part of padmé that’s feasibly bitable is near his mouth he will bite it. he nibbles at her ear. he bites her shoulder. he chomps her hand. he bites her bottom lip when they kiss. padmé complains but she actually loves it and thinks it’s adorable and when he actually leaves a mark she’s like awww. after a while she just starts biting him back

padmé loves playing with anakin’s hair and if it is in her reach she’ll just start braiding it. doesn’t matter what else is happening. they could be having the most serious conversation in the world and there she is putting little braids in his hair. at a certain point anakin starts coming home with hairstyle requests and playing hairstylist becomes a way to kill an evening

tangential to this another fun thing they will do occasionally is doll anakin up bc he has literally never worn anything besides what is essentially his work uniform and anything else is like the most exciting thing ever and padmé thinks he looks so pretty in makeup

they shower together as much as they possibly can and part of that is shower sex but it’s mostly for the intimacy. they are allergic to not being close to each other of course they can’t be apart for a whole shower

in general they’re the clingiest people in the galaxy and when they’re home alone they are very rarely not putting their hands under each other’s clothes. and again this mostly not horny they really just would be skin to skin 24/7 if that were an option

mentioned this in the post you mentioned but i will reiterate that neither of them are particularly culinarily skilled but they love cooking together so much because it’s an excuse to be in close proximity for a few hours and sometimes they’ll even make something edible. win win! anakin is actually decent at cooking on his own but padmé’s presence is so distracting and her lack of skill is so great it brings them both down and that right there is true love

they don’t fight often but on the rare occasions they do it’s pretty explosive (mostly on anakin’s end) because anakin has Major Issues and this is quite literally the only non-hierarchical relationship he’s ever had, and in a way it’s also padmé’s but in the opposite direction because her only friends ever have been her employees, and boy oh boy can that collide in weird ways. and they resolve it fast enough but they always end up plagued by the fact that they can never fully understand each other because they’re spiritually clingy too and i think if they had it their way padmé would be able to read anakin’s mind and anakin would literally just merge with padmé into some eldritch being. and then they’d never fight again <3

tangentially their worst fights typically lead into their best fucks. they really cannot stay mad at each other at all they find it unbearable

that is broadly all i can think of for now but i definitely have more because i have unfortunately been plagued with star wars brainworms since i was in the seventh grade. i love anidala i love thinking about them i love talking about them i know them better than my own family at this point

[lordnot]

Few shows highlight the absurdity of Puritanical censorship like Invincible

Where you will be confronted with detailed depictions of the inside of a large intestine

But never a female-presenting nipple.

The Boys gets a pass* because there are real actors and actresses involved who may be more comfortable holding pig guts to their bellies than they are showing bush, but this is an animated series.

Someone, at some point, should have been questioning why they are strategically draping Atom Eve's arms over her chest as she lays unconscious

Minutes after the audience witnesses a child spit up his own bloody teeth.

*The Boys has its own issues and double standards around how the appearance of a penis is either considered comedic or a sign of sexual deviancy, while female bodies are always presented as erotic and seductive.