#shane madej would hate him

[hiding-under-the-willow]

ENAMOURED by your ghosts au I would love details on what happened to etho 👀 from my understanding it was hels??? Very obssessed with that art btw it's so cool

Yeah yeah yeah I've worked out a little more of the detail for this whole backstory in my head since I last talked about it so I can actually get into it sure :]

So while the property that Grian and Joel end up in during the main plot of the au is large, it's mostly taken up by like the giant ass manor that's on it and the grounds around that. Which is why they've got such a plethora of ghosts, there have been thousands of people living there over thousands of years. Etho's property however, which he bought for cheap maybe ten years before the main story of the au, is almost entirely undeveloped, and has very rarely been a place people lived, hence why he's got like 3 ghosts total. There's a single cabin on the property, one that hasn't been used since around the 1890s when the property was used as a hunting grounds, which was promptly abandoned after the hunting accident that led to Gem's death. Hels had, up until Gem's death and subsequent residence on the property as a ghost, been the only one haunting the property for about 500 years.

He was generally unpleasant in his life, but 500 years on his own building resentment and anger in his loneliness in his unchanging world as he watches Wels across the fence seemingly finding companionship in his afterlife hadn't exactly made him any better. He was stubborn, and unfriendly, and averse to change, and extremely quick to anger. He had lost the deft touch of control that most knights wield over their acts of violence. Lacking his sword in death and unable to leave any touch on the world other than the occasional scratch from the sharp talon like ends of his gauntlets' fingers, he has taken to leaving long, animal like scratches in his environment when he cannot ignore that call to violence in his anger. The cabin looks like it's been ransacked by a bear, claw dug grooves in doors and tables, old dusty furniture with fabric tears revealing rotted insides, wallpaper that peels in unnatural places and forms. The trees around the property are often similarly marked. The only thing seemingly left fully intact, is a dark sword mounted above the fireplace.

Gem, being the strong-willed individual that she is, manages to mellow him out a bit in the 100 or so years they spend alone together on the property. She herself is strange and unusual in a way that seems to throw him off enough to manage to endear her to him in the time he spends too confused to be angry. And so he remains this kind of sulking, possessive, angry thing, but they share the house, and having as sharp a tongue as she does, Gem starts to turn him towards more verbal sparing than enacting any physical violence on their surroundings.

And so that 100 years of joint solitude passes by, Cub dies on the property and haunts his respective corner, seemingly uninterested in sharing the little cabin with Gem and Hels, and so Hels remains comfortable in his unchanging world.

And then Etho buys the property.

And it isn't exactly strange that someone has bought the property, it had probably passed through a dozen hands in the time since Hels had been stuck there, but no one had ever really moved in. It had been used as a hunting estate and as a scout's meeting place and as a garden, but never had anyone looked at the little cabin he had claimed as his own and decided they were going to live there. And the assumption had been that with the state it was in, no one would. Until Etho came along.

He comes in, all on his own, and starts fixing things in the little cabin, pulling out old furniture, cleaning dusty floors and struggling through plumbing work and tearing out old wallpaper. The only other person around in this time is XB, who he seems to have hired to handle the grounds while he handles the house. By the time the house is even slightly livable he's moved in.

This, obviously, does not make Hels very happy. Gem is happy to see the house get an update, and is intrigued by this weird lonesome guy who has moved onto their property, and this only seems to upset Hels more. He starts acting out I little ways, tearing Etho's clothes, scratching new furnature he brings in, messing up repair work.

Etho isn't oblivious to this, and isn't exactly a skeptic when it comes to the supernatural, so he starts talking to whatever entity he imagines to be antagonizing him throuout the day, and decides to antagonize him right back, much to Gem's entertainment and Hels' increasing agitation.

It is the day when Etho finally decides to take down the old sword above the fireplace that things go wrong.

Etho probably should've known not to touch the sword when he watched a set of scratch marks appear in the stones of the mantle beside him as he prepared to take it down. But he kept going. And maybe when a second set raked across his brand new dining room table as he pulled the sword down he should've thought to just put it back. Instead he continues to verbally antagonize Hels as he brings the thing down. Maybe he gets a little too on the nose, connecting the sword to his antagonizing spector, either way he says just the wrong thing to set the ghost off. Hels, used to interacting with Gem, who he can touch but can't injure, attempts to grab at Etho in a moment of anger, instead managing to claw the shit out of the side of his face. In the panic of realizing what he had done he attempts to catch him by the arm as he stumbles back and does the exact same thing to his arm. Queue panic and blood and such. XB hears the commotion from wherever he is outside and is the one who calls an ambulance and such. I imagine Etho gets his first shaky glimpse of Hels right as he's passing out from the blood loss.

Etho survives, of course, but looses an eye and has some pretty severe damage to his face and arm. Gem is the first of the ghosts he meets when he returns to the property, Hels hiding away when he comes home. He kind of shuts himself away in the house after that. If it seemed like he was running away from something moving to this middle of nowhere empty property before, it certainly seemed like he was hiding now. Xb is the only one he keeps around, and even he's stuck at an arms distance. It takes him a long time to not be terrified of Gem, or of Cub when he meets him. How he and Hels eventually manage to coexist is a whole other story. But either way I've been typing for too long lol I need to wrap this up

Crazy place for this au to have ended up at from 'haha wouldn't it be funny if Etho was Grian and Joel's weird shut-in neighbor that can also see ghosts' but whatever

[nikomedes]

goes on a mental journey of labyrinthine complexity, vague symbolism, and feverish thought association and emerges from my pondering chamber sweating, shaking, to respec my bg3 pc into a spear fighter

[puppet-purgatory]

I know it’s always possible that the Cosmic Entity puppets were created like the inanimate object ones, through the professor’s meddling, and aren’t Actually Death/God/The Devil etc. but I think it would be so much funnier if Shane “Atheist” Madej looked at his little puppet guy he loves so much and uses as a vehicle for his own love of world history & teaching and went “and he’s Sooooo popular and beloved by Everybody, he hangs out with God Himself and Death was sooo sad to kill him and the Devil is sooo jealous of his show and his channel and Ryan hates him because he’s a meaniehead but even Ryan can’t hate him forever 😌😌😌 and if you kill him he just comes back better 😌😌😌” like yeah these guys Do exist but just so he can use it to illustrate how great and beloved the Professor is

[skepticbeliever-bookclub]

Hey there, shippers & readers!

Ever wonder about the fics that don’t make it through the final round of voting for the bi-weekly read in the book club? You’re in luck!

The book club is structured so that we solicit nominations from our members, either based on a theme or a trope or simply a request for their favorites, and develop a list of ten nominations, which are then narrowed down to a top three. The top three fics end up in our weekend vote and the winner of that vote becomes our book club fic for that week.

This past week was a bit special! We announced the winners of our Q1 participation raffle, and one of our prizes was getting to select theme of our next read. Our winner selected Case Fic, and our members combed the tag for their nominations. 

The following are the runners-up to our winner, and are excellent cases to settle in with while you wait to see who we’re reading as a group this week. 

The Thrilling Case of the Mysterious Five - MiraclesofPaul

Shane has spent the last two years arguing with Agent Bergara, a crazy conspiracy theorist and believer in the supernatural. When a woman goes missing, they hit the road to investigate The Five, a cult that chases UFOs around the country.

Or

An X-Files AU if Mulder and Scully initially hated each other and constantly got into unprofessional arguments.

The Private Detective’s Songbook - ma_malice

The man who had rented the room before him had also been a PI, and so Detective Shane Madej’s door still read CC TINSLEY & ASSOCIATES, PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS in peeling gold letters.

Along with the door, he’d inherited Tinsley’s desk, his reputation, and one badly-lit corridor’s worth of neighbors. These included a disreputable tattooist, an off-book accountant and, of course, The Mystic Oracle: Spirit Connexions and Communications.

LA, 1927 – Shane’s a jaded Private Eye. Ryan’s a two-bit Spiritualist. Together, they’re going to solve a murder.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US FOR OUR NEXT DISCUSSION? CHECK OUT THE FAQ, AND SEND US AN ASK! IF YOU’RE LOOKING FOR FIC RECS, PLEASE CHECK OUT OUR READS, NOMINEES AND BOOK CLUB REC LISTS!

[sportsblr]

Ooooh please say more on gravy!!!

Anon, thank you for being my new favorite person sndnndsnns

Okay, so I have three categories: teams I think he should go to, teams I wouldn't mind if he went to, and teams that can go fuck themselves and I don't want him touching unless it's to level a hard hit on ice

teams I think he should go to

He's already on it, but I sure would like him to stay with New Jersey. I enjoy the current lineup greatly, and I'd like for him to continue to be a Devil

Vegas bc I think the glittery gold jerseys would compliment him very well (and also Nols is there and I love him) and the org could do worse than Graves

Seattle bc. Have you seen their color scheme??? Amazingggg also I loved visiting Seattle so

Minnesota bc I love that shade of green, and I think his eyes would really pop and I just really love the Mega Bill that was passed like a month or so ago and this is my chance to talk about it lol. Anyway look into what they've done and the protections for various communities etc there! It's fucking amazing given the general American political climate

Yotes bc I really want them to have a win in something at least, given their location issues currently. Also the colors and one-offs and alts are *chef's kiss*

Avs. Now, I know he just came from there, but hear me out! He looked really, really good in their colors 😳

Canucks. I enjoy their logo and color and alt jerseys a lot. Plus I loved Vancouver when I visited. It's *shane madej voice* a beautiful, gorgeous place!

Blue Jackets. I visit Columbus a lot even tho I've moved south bc I have friends up near OSU still etc etc and anyways, student discounts on tickets plus the fact they were shite this season means that it'd be cheap to see them and I'd love that personally anndnfjsk (and so would my bank account) Oh and also their third jerseys are very hot so :3c

teams I wouldn't mind if he went to

Calgary but only if Mony is there too bc of that mf 1-2 hit combo of tall, dark, and handsome men I'm in love with. But fr tho I've been a Flames fan for a bit now, so seeing him there would be nice~

Isles. I'm pretty neutral on them, but for the most part I do enjoy their games

Flyers. I like them, and I think it would be a fun team for him to be on and I want to see him interact with Gritty so badly

Dallas. I think that he would enjoy the area, honestly, and the team as a whole seems really fun. Also a team with Tyler, Jason, and Ryan??? I'd be dead on the ground

Sabres. Colors are nice, the blue would compliment his eyes 🥰

Edmo. They're chill, the team is solid insofar as I recall. It'd be a cool decision for him. Maybe Sol would enjoy it too, or at least enjoy me going crazy going stupid etc etc lol

Canes. The fast-paced play i think would be to his strength in the same way that the Devs are. But I'm still mad at them for kicking the Devs out 😡

Panthers. Gives Sol something to talk about that isn't Ratthew (affectionate) but also their playoff run was very sick and I think he'd add to their team rather than detract

Preds. Nashville is like 3 hours away from me so. Selfishness in location for this one 💅

Pens. I don't hate them, I don't love them. But bc of that stupid stanley cup "kiss me" commercial with Sidney being shown when the Pens won and that snippet of the autobiography with his agent or w/e I'm getting drawn back into the fold I thought I escaped several years ago lmao

Sharks. Fun colors, on the coast, lots of nice alternate jerseys/one-off designs (Chris Chow, the hold you still have on me after all these years 😔😔😔)

Blues. Nice logo, I really don't know a lot about them though.

Jets. Idk I just think they're neat :D

teams that can go fuck themselves and I don't want him touching unless it's to level a hard hit on ice

Chicago

Rangers, bc they used to be cool and fun and I liked them but then that rat bastard (not mtkachuk) got traded over so constitutionally and legally I can no longer be a Rangers fan until that rat bastard leaves

Ducks. I really don't have any strong feelings for them, but I just idk. I don't like them. Not a fan.

Kings. I don't like their vibes or their fans all that much. I really should've done a fourth category of "eh, they're whatever i guess", but we're here now and so I'm sticking with it.

Bruins. I like them, like they're entertaining, but I would rather him be an opponent to them for my own entertainment purposes.

Habs. Another "I just don't like their vibes" situation

Sens. This is a "I keep forgetting they exist whoopsie" thing

Bolts. They beat the blue jackets a few years ago to get the Cup and I'm still mad about it

Leafs. Soz I'm a leafs anti (‘ー‘)/~~

Caps. I don't vibe. I'm an anti. And Burky is gone so I have no reason to pay attention to them anymore

[just-an-anxious-mess]

So.... Marathoning Buzzfeed Unsolved and.... Yeah...

[galaxythreads]

some lore for you screamed for so long perhaps? i read all 8 (at the time) chapters of that on a 3 hour plane ride it kept me going through quite possibly the worst turbulence i have ever experienced

I'm so sorry about the turbulence. :( That sounds un-fun. Fun fact, I haven't been on a plane since i was 18 months old. I have absolutely no reference for that irl, lol. XD

ANYWAY.

LORE FOR YOU SCREAMED FOR SO LONG WE FORGOT TO CARE ANYMORE <- link to story

i have been planning some form of this story since 2018. In the original version, there was a massive plague going on. I'll probably still write that version actually. It's different enough from this one that it can stand on its own two feet.

CHAPTER ONE:

I was inspired to start the story several months after Loki got there after reading a Darcy/Loki story on ff.net I never finished

""I don't want to be buried. Cremate me." He instructs, swinging his quiver across one shoulder. "Or drop my body from the sky for the dogs to pick at, I don't really care. I'll be dead." " -- this is 1000% based off of Shane Madej from Buzzfeed Unsolved loudly declaring how he wants a sky burial

CHAPTER TWO:

"The looming figure in front of him gives a curt nod, and something smacks him in the back of the knees, and he goes tumbling into suffocation all over again," -- In the end you will always kneel.

Actually, the above torture is a slow form of suffocation. Someone ties a rope around your neck and hands that are connected together and suspends you enough that you have to stand on your toes. When your feet come out from underneath you, the rope on your hands tugs on your neck until it tightens until you either suffocate or manage to stand upright again thus relieving the pressure.

----

"He feels the surge of intense, overwhelming heat against his already raw, blistered skin before he even feels the brand press against his back, burning into muscle, bone, anything and everything, and he wont, can't—pain pain pain pain—

He screams—

^^^^ the above scene is the source of THIS scar, "Some of the worst scars are white and puckering against Loki's back and they look older than all of this" (chpt 9) and it will be discussed in further detail later. It's actually very important to the story. All of the dreams are. Nothing was put in there "just because"

---

"Hill hates all of them because the fact they're on the same floor is her fault." --- rather than having Fury in charge of the Avengers, I decided that it would probably be more realistic if Hill was. Fury is a busy man.

---

I learned some Norwegian for this fic solely so I could know on a basic level when the sentences didn't make sense, lol. XD

---

"All of them have made an effort to learn how to learn with Loki's flashbacks, but the only people who have had any real success are Thor and Steve." --- This is because Steve looks like Thor and Loki's brain is not super great at telling them apart when he's a mess.

---

"Clint forces out a thin breath, then says, "Do you want a sandwich?"

There's a long lull as if Loki's struggling to understand him. Clint repeats the question."

---

I dreamt about you getting your back burned open.

BACK INJURY IMPORTAAAAANNNCCCEEEE lol. XD all of you would be exhausted if you know how much I've been trying to subtly state this.

---

Natasha and Clint are legally married in this fic and have been for several years, but I never make that explicit because it doesn't matter to either of them so it's not important to the narrative. They are, first and foremost, partners. (Natasha proposed)

---

"Natasha is quiet for a second, then she tags on, "Ya tebya khochu."

Clint chews on his bottom lip, "Ya tozhe khochu tebya,""

This is Russian for "I want you," and then "i want you too." I think it's a little bit more meaningful than I love you.

---

Clint doesn't remember being taken to S.H.I.E.L.D. for the first time. When Coulson dragged his sorry butt there for medical after Barney tried to beat him to death, Clint was unconscious.

I have spent so much of this fic paralleling Clint's relationship with his brother with Loki and Thor's.

---

"Beside that is, predictably, an open tissue box.

Clint doesn't know what it is, but he's never been in a S.H.I.E.L.D. conference room without one. It's like the janitorial staff is worried that a group of covert spies and government officials are going to spontaneously..."

I work in janitorial. There is an ungodly effort put into making sure the tissue boxes never run out.

----

"If you're done saying I love you," Fury looks pointedly at Steve and Tony, the latter of whom smirks. Steve buries his head in his hands.

I have a lot of internalized homophobia issues despite being lesbian, but this is my first gay joke in a fic and I'm really, really proud of it. I know it's not very good or even comes across as a joke, but I felt so proud putting it in here all the same. Acceptance of self is real, y'all.

---

when i was listening to this chapter as i edited it, the speech to text reader read "asgardr" as oosgar and it was really funny to me.

---

CHAPTER FOUR:

this was the first scene I wrote for this fic.

the Chitauri do not refer to Loki by any other pronoun but "it." this is an effort to dehumanize him. (NOT to say that those who go by it pronouns are not human, love you guys (gender neutral))

---

"You are weak, like a mewling, crawling baby animal. But don't worry, because where you failed, your not-brother will succeed." --- Am I making a pointed jab at how awful Mobius calling Loki a mewling kitten was? Yes.

---

(chpt 4 vs 8)

---

This is one of my favorite interactions in the story. Loki has been lying through his teeth about his feelings most of the fic up to this point and then Clint asks him and Loki tells him the truth.

Loki and Clint have a very strong bond, even then.

---

CHAPTER FIVE:

everyone got a specific name-sign in this chapter. Loki's is grumpy-L because he's a grumpy little guy. XD No, it's cause he's grumpy but the L stands for his name

---

"Karma coming to collect its debt." -- a reference to my friend @widowronin's SPN story.

---

"c"-- by his brother

"b"-- by the circus of crime and Coulson

derogatory -- by his brother and the circus of crime

---

Waaaaay too much of my writing was inspired by Buzzfeed Unsolved now. XD

---

^^^ this is actually referring to Frigga and Odin's relationship, not the chitauri

---

CHAPTER 6:

^^ reference to Vibranium

---

the actual plan for the cafeteria scene:

"The Avengers eat breakfast or something at the facility and the SHIELD agents are generally nasty to Loki. One of them starts a fist fight and Loki defends himself until the Avengers bodily pull everybody off and are like “no.” Loki is a little banged up, but nothing serious. Clint breaks some guys nose, though. Bruce looks him over and is visibly agitated. Says that the agents shouldn’t have hurt Loki. Loki’s like, okay, sure, but I did kill like, a lot of people, so they’re entitled. Bruce is like, “:/” "

---

this was intentionally framed like the beginning of Black Widow with Yelena. Thus to indicate that Natasha now sees Loki as a brother.

---

Loki intentionally says something unrelated to the situation to calm Clint down. yes, this was a reference to Clint and the sandwich thing. It worked so well then, why not now?

---

this is an important clue that will help us later

---

^^^ Gamora and Nebula

----

^^^ Loki dreams about Clint's brother trying to kill Clint. In the next chapter, Loki's brother tries to kill Loki. These scenes were placed on top of each other on purpose. NARRATIVE PARRALEL.

Also. by the gods am i projecting hard into this fic with clint and barney lol.

---

^^^ I still cannot believe that @worstloki made this for me, and then the post sort of blew up. Last time I looked it had like 250+ notes and LOTS of tags discussing how wonderful the story was. It literally floored me. I still am baffled and deeply humbled. Thank you.

---

CHAPTER EIGHT:

this scene was originally written from Clint's pov. I have it in a junk document somewhere. This is probably going to be Loki's only POV in the fic, but we'll see. I just though it would be really good to see Loki's thoughts about all of this, given how pivotal this moment is in the story.

----

chpt 8 vs chpt 5. DIRECTLY MEANT TO PARALLEL EACH OTHER.

---

^^^ this is the above meme. In the fic. You're welcome. XD

---

Parallel to the first thor, anyone??

--

as far as thor is aware in this scene, Loki just killed their parents and his world so the fact that Loki is actually worthy of Mjolnir is absolutely BAFFLING to him.

---

CHAPTER 9:

I made the executive decision that odin and Frigga's relationship is...strained, to put it mildly.

---

most of the time Siygn is a princess of some distant realm in fics, but no! she's queen here. XD

---

reminder!! "Far" is the formal way to address your parent in Norwegian.

---

Odin doesn't swear once in this conversation.

ALSO. Loki purposefully tries to intervene before giving up quickly because Odin and Frigga fighting is a common occurrence and he knows it's useless to stop it.

---

the way this chapter is set up is that you SEE what Odin and Frigga did to Loki with the flashback to Thor watching over Loki. You are supposed to think "Uh, wait a sec"

THIS is NIce?

for reference:

"Loki is thin, more a skeleton than a person, skin dragged against bone and pulled taut in some grotesque imitation of death. There are layers upon layers of gauze over Loki's entire forearms, covering up the horrible scars and stitches keeping his arms attached to his body. Beneath that is purpling and black bruises several inches thick encircling his wrists. There are open wounds almost everywhere in various degrees of healing, bones still bent awkwardly out of place that the doctors distastefully said they'd need to reset so it could heal right. Loki isn't stable enough for them to try yet."

but yeah. It was nice.

---

Btw, the title "You screamed for so long we forgot to care anymore" is NOT a reference to the Avengers.

It's Loki's thoughts to Odin and Frigga. Years of torture, of suffering and pain, of screaming, and they seemed to grow more apathetic to it with time.

I will probably reblog this with more thoughts once the fic is finished, but yeah. I have put a LOT of effort into this fic. And I am still baffled as to how it has so many people reading it. When the number processes in my brain every couple of weeks I feel horrified, lol.

YOU SCREAMED FOR SO LONG WE FORGOT TO CARE ANYMORE <- link to story

[cverthinks]

was that EMILY ALYN LIND spotted down at the shoreline of east hamptons main beach? must just be, MARSEMMY MARS VERNON the TWENTY-FIVE year old BAKER. whenever i hear MIRACLE ALIGNER by THE LAST SHADOW PUPPETS it reminds me of them. they are known for being SARCASTIC but they make up for that by being LAID BACK. they have been living in the hamptons for ONE YEAR.

howdy, my name is rian (they/them) and this is mars. if ya like what you see, please feel free to like this and i’ll swing into your pms to plot !!

s  t  a  t  i  s  t  i  c  s  

full  name ,  nicknames  :  marsemmy claudia vernon  ,  mars

age  ,  dob  ,  zodiac :  twenty-five  , february 29  ,  aquarius

hometown  :  geneva  ,  ny

gender  ,  pronouns :  cisfemale  , she / they

orientation  :  bisexual , biromantic ( closeted )

height :  5′4″

relationship status :  single

occupation  :  baker

language(s)  spoken  :  english  -  fluent   ,   french  -  fluent

similar  characters  :  shane madej  (  watcher network  )  ,  max mayfield (  stranger things )  ,  sloane peterson  (  ferris bueller’s day off  )  ,  veronica fisher   (  shameless  )  ,  donna pinciotti  (  that 70′s show  )  , audrey horne  (  twin peaks  )

aesthetics  :   being the big sister to many friends against your will, sharp black lines, tattoos poking out from professional crisp white sleeves, burgundy red lips upturned into a knowing smirk, living alone but always having to cook dinner for ten people, being wrapped in the comforting scent of vanilla, purple under eyes giving away yet another sleepless night, high waisted jeans, paint stained sneakers, saying ‘meh, good enough’, having a worrying amount of red wine in your pantry, the bitterest and hottest cup of black coffee you can find, hating your mom but also missing your mom, perpetual eye rolling, ordering a strawberry milkshake at any diner no matter what, watching a group of friends dance while you’re alone.

TLDR: if shane madej had possessed a small woman’s body and liked baking instead of hunting ‘ghosts’. sarcastic bordering on just plain callous sometimes. owns her own baking company where she makes cakes and pastries for rich assholes in the hamptons. mom friend but in the sense of her grabbing ears and calling her ‘kids’ idiots

a  b  o  u  t  (tw: parent death, grieving)

there’s nothing to really say about marsemmy vernon’s short time spent in brooklyn. the first four years, the only years she has when her family was a trio. her mother, an alcoholic and her father, a workaholic pastry chef. her memories are vague, but mars knows well-enough that they weren’t a happy little family in their one bedroom apartment. 

her parents try fixing their marriage by moving from their shitty situation. geneva was nice, the house they bought a fraction of the price and triple the size of what they had in the city (though, this is hardly a brag). the couple lasts for another two years before her mother leaves for good this time, not before scarring mars by forgetting to pick her up from her first day of kindergarten at the same time.

markus and marsemmy vernon worked much better as a duo, anyways. it was like they had a mutual understanding. they could only depend on one another, there was no one else in this town to call home except for one another. markus had been a baker since he was a teenager, bouncing around from shop to shop. when his wife left him and his daughter, he knew it was only up to him to finally plant roots to help his family grow. valhalla baking company opened in late 2004, priding himself on creative work and a place for any and all souls to find the same comfort he did in baked goods. mars would hang out at the shop daily after school whenever she could. picture, if you will: a small eight year old stepping onto a step stool to ring someone up. it’s no wonder that mars took to baking just like her father did. 

she takes care of herself in her adolescence, and more importantly, their father. the man who raised them, and taught them everything they knew. it was another thing mars was good at; nurturing, being the responsible one of the dynamic duo, even as a teenager. her childhood may have been nonexistent, but she tells herself she wouldn’t have traded it for anything. high school graduation comes and goes, and mars doesn’t go off to college like most of her classmates. instead, she dives headfirst into working full time at the bakery. valhalla is busier than ever after all, becoming a staple business in geneva.her father passed away very suddenly and tragically over a year ago. 

according to many news reports, markus verhoff fell asleep at the wheel after a long day of work, and crashed his car. mars doesn’t talk about him much these days, diving headfirst into her work the same way her father did, and going a step beyond: moving the business to the hamptons. after all, he left the business to her in his will. twenty-five years old and a business owner, it weighs heavy on her. but she tries her best. 

h  a  b  i  t  s

swearing |  fingernail  chewing  | slouching |  slurring  |  drinking |  smoking  |  drugs | impulse  decisions |  obsessive  phone  checking  |  bad  time  management |  slang  |  poor grammar  | overworking  | slacking  off |  over  sleeping | under sleeping |  skin picking |  poor  eye  contact  |  lying | rambling | skipping  breakfast | junk  food  | self  criticism |  procrastinating | day  dreaming |  forgetful  |  envious  |  jealous | gossiper |  drama  whore |  secret  teller |  skipping  class  |  spitting  | lip  licking | lip  chewing |  drinking  from  the  carton |  yelling  |  too  much  internet  |  poor  hygiene  | impatient | hot headed |  biased | complaining |  scab  picking  |  buzzfeed | cheek  biting |  teeth  gnashing  |  shoplifting  | scamming | speeding | hair  pulling | large  ego |  exaggerating  | fidgeting |  free  loading  |  littering  |  one  -  upping | whining |  borrowing  without  returning  | unnecessary  aggression |  plagiarism  |  copying  |  glaring | spacing  out | ignoring |  over  critical  | messy |  hateful  |  overly  prideful

[glendover]

watch ghost files with me eps. 2

or watch the second episode with me <33

ALCATRAZ BABY

(you would think I know any of these places but my European ass could never I only know them through buzzfeed unsolved 💀)

actually the intro gives me ghostbusters vibes

who you gonna call? GHOST FILES!

(well that sounded way better in my head)

I mean Ryan you could always try and swim away

by daylight the island doesn’t even look that bad, I wouldn’t get spooked there

taking that back now that it’s dark 💀

bro I’m still not over the high quality of this show the budget must be so high

like good for them, I’m soooo happy

THE BLUEPRINT

the ‘the rock’ comment lmao

honestly the prison looks kinda fancy like okay

“… bc I hate myself.” It’s okay Ryan we all hate ourselves here

no shit Sherlock in the shower room you shower what a strange concept that is/j

can you imagine showering and then just getting stabbed to death, that must be one of the worst deaths frfr

showering with the ghosts <3

spirit box my beloved!!

why is the spirit box kinda working this time and not saying some random bullshit between plausible answers??

i don’t like the photo lmao, it’s really unsettling even if it were photoshopped

fondle the pod 😠

cell block tango or whatever

not Shane expecting sexy evidence 💀

“I don’t want to die.”

“And watch everyone you’ve ever loved die?” “How do you know I haven’t already done that?”

you know what maybe Ryan is the demon after all 😃

Bernard is trying, my man, give him some time

not the footsteps 😃

“World’s finest” - not the ghosts always trying to flirt with Ryan (I mean same but 💀)

not the ghost fucking with Ryan lmao

the disembodied voices tho

“yEaH 👺👺👺”

well if anyones scared then it’s you Ryan so I guess they are talking about you 🥴

now that’s a tragic love story

okay the blood licking kinda ruined it I’m taking back what I said

a jealous rage murder 👀👀

or maybe blinded by passion

“We’ve got a barber?” - why is that so funny to me 💀

purple faced fella!!

not Ryan being self aware that he will lose his mind as soon as he has to do solo investigations 💀

why is Ryan always oversharing before solo investigations

he be sitting there and suddenly he goes “I’m scared of seeing ghosts, I’m scared I die, I’m scared Shane will find me dead, I’m scared of the future.”

like baby girl calm down you’ll be fine

and Shane is in the building all sad boy hours bc he’s asking for ghosts to hang out with him but yet again no one showed up

you know what the sink face looks like? It’s this emoji 🤖

but also this guy

non of the ghosts are taking responsibility for what happened to that toilet - the silence is so loud lmao

Shane “ghost hunter” Madej: I do all of this to see historical sites without all the tourists

not someone screaming on Ryan’s solo investigation 💀

tho I have to say it sounded like a bird or something

not Shane predicting that Ryan is muttering his little mantra and then it cuts to Ryan muttering his mantra

AND THAT WAS ALCATRAZ

that’s now locked away in the ghost files

[shyanshippingsociety]

Hello, I was wondering if you guys could find some fics where the boys slowly transition their relationship from friendship to love. The details, the subtleties.. just an all round warm and love filled fic. Thank you 😭

hi there!

we asked our server members for their favorite slow burn friends to lovers fics and here's what they came up with!

fics marked with an ‘♦️’ are written by our server members, can have been written before or after they joined <3

♦️ Three Days Until Dawn by chapscher | M, 54K, complete

Once every fifty years, Shane has three days to live as a human before the curse he is under changes him back into a ghostlike spirit. Shane devotes his time to figuring out his own mystery: who cursed him, why, and, most importantly, how he can finally break free. It just so happens that this year he has a visitor with him in the old house - a man who also is searching for answers to unsolved mysteries.

♦️ we could be lovers - would you lie with me? by idkspookystuff | E, 11K, complete

Maybe it starts with Ryan coming out. Maybe it starts when they sign the final paperwork to make their crazy idea a company. Maybe it starts way back in 2016, when a fresh faced intern asks Shane to help him out with his crazy ghost show.

It doesn’t matter, because regardless of how it starts, this is how Shane becomes aware of it.

or

shane learns he and ryan are dating and it turns his entire life upside down.

we'll build new traditions in place of the old by LexTheMoose | E, 11K, complete

A series of domestic traditions Ryan and Shane has been doing after two years of spending December together, but this year, it feels different for them both.

♦️ Why Don't You Get Up and Make Me? by Golden4278 | E, 33K, complete

A woman’s body is found at the bottom of a staircase with multiple blows to the head. Her husband was the only witness. Straightforward murder case, right? Prosecutor Shane Madej thinks so. Maybe it’s not so simple. Ryan Bergara is a defense attorney seeking redemption after a recent fall from grace. He knows his client is innocent, but how far is he willing to go to prove it? Can Shane protect Ryan from the truth while maintaining his professionalism? And can the two rivals keep their hands off each other in the process?

♦️ stay the night with the sinners by bodhirookes | E, 85K, complete

“Enjoy recess?”

Ryan doesn’t recoil, even as his stomach does. “Yes.”

Shane Madej doesn’t back down at the cold, one-worded answer. On the contrary, it makes his grin widen until Ryan can see every single one of his big, pointed teeth.

“I’m sure the City of Angels really does it for you, Bergmeister. Lots of innocent, impressionable souls. It’s like an all-you-can-eat buffet out there.”

“Sounds like it’s more your speed. And don’t call me that—I’ll light you up with Holy Fire before you even have the time to take it back.”

“Aw, don’t be like that,” Shane cooes, stooping closer. Ryan hates him, hates the icy-hot cavity that forms in his gut at the sight of his unruly hair and his black, black eyes. “L.A.’s big enough for the both of us, sweetheart. We can share.”

Or, Steven Lim, an angel, and Andrew Ilnyckyj, a demon, flee Heaven and Hell to be together, and Ryan Bergara, an angel, is forced to serve on the jury for their trial. He hates every single second of it, and Shane Madej, one of the oldest Greater demons around, is constantly there to remind him why Heaven and Hell should never be allowed to fraternize.

all the songs i sing (i wrote for you) by prettyboyrollins | M, 72K, complete

Ryan's job is driving him up a wall, so he finds a local dive bar to take his mind off how much it sucks.

He expects to find decent beer. What he doesn't expect to find is good company, and a band that just might change his life.

♦️ i'm yours (at least for a little while) by tanabubbles | M, 11K, complete

“Ryan,” Shane breathed, breaking the kiss.

Ryan wiped his mouth. “Y-yeah?”

“I think-” he hesitated, as if unsure about what he was going to say. “-We should stop practice here.”

Ryan swallowed hard. He didn’t want to agree. “Yeah,” he said quietly. He had to ask, though. “That-” he attempted, “-That was some pretty intense practice, buddy.”

Shane laughed uncomfortably, sinking back into his original spot on the sofa. “We’ll fool them, alright.”

Maybe they could fool themselves in the process.

Or,

Shane and Ryan found out there was an office bet going around. They take matters into their own hands.

Paper Wings by HydraNoMago | G, 12K, complete

“And please don’t call me Master Bergara, it’s so formal it makes me want to regurgitate whatever is left in my stomach.” With another easy smile, and his voice lowered, “Call me Ryan.”

Shane grinned back at him and clasped his hand, his heart missing a beat at the contact. “Shane,” he replied, and gave their joined hands a firm shake. “Shane Madej.”

Shane is a tutor in the Bergara household, who thinks he has found his place in the world; until he meets one Ryan Bergara.

Someone to Stay by carrieonfighting | T, 12K, complete

Ryan can't sleep at night, and Shane is an enigma

Where Every Wish Comes True (and you would be there too) by velarisstars | T, 31K, complete

It was completely normal to fly across the country with your best friend to celebrate Christmas with their family, right? At least, that's what Ryan kept telling himself everyday leading up to said trip with Shane. Everything would be fine. Normal. A simple vacation with Shane and his family in Chicago.

Until they get lost in feelings and everything begins to feel . . . not quite normal.

♦️ may your days be merry and bright by bodhirookes | G, 19K, complete

“Your turn, Ry Ry.”

Ryan looks down to find only one piece of paper remaining. “Wow, so much selection to choose from.”

“No time for your negativity, Scrooge. Your Secret Santa deserves a better attitude.”

Ryan sticks his tongue out, but takes the slip of paper. He’s loudly yelling Give me Jen, please please please give me Jen as he unfolds it, but he’s too busy begging for her to be truly prepared for what he ends up getting:

A simple but damning SHANE in Andrew’s scribbly handwriting.

Or, Ryan gets Shane for Secret Santa and has a subsequent breakdown about what to get him

♦️ Tucked In by RedLlamas | E, 16K, complete

When Shane's apartment complex is set to get fumigated, he asks Ryan if he can stay over, and receives an enthusiastic "yes!"

He doesn't expect Ryan to set him up in his own bed, but hey, choosers can't be beggars. It's not like it's gonna spark anything between them.

hope you enjoy them! remember to leave a kudo & a comment if you do - they're the lifeblood of us authors!

[bergoozter]

Ok so I watch way too many time travel shows to not think that bringing The Professor and his parents to the present won’t significantly mess up the in-universe timeline. My main evidence from this comes from the fact that in ep 1, Ryan reads the article about The Professor’s remains being next to his parents’ but obv this couldn’t have been written because they survived, but it has to have been written because it clues Ryan in abt The Sub. If I had to guess this is going to create a paradox 1/?

I’m also going to overthink this line so much, but I don’t trust The Genie saying “nice doing business with you.” to Ryan. Now. This is a normal phrase that people say, but the show uses so much foreshadowing, esp with phrases like this. So, we know the Genie hates Prof + he was probably the one behind the s4 deal (I could go on abt that but I digress). So, genies typically can’t refuse wishes, but they can if they break the genie’s rules. (2/?)

The Genie could potentially consider bringing The Prof back from the past as resurrecting the dead, which is usually not something genies can do. At this point I think it’s fair to say that Ryan and The Genie probably wouldn’t want to help each other after last season. So, the Genie could play by technicalities and give a reason not to bring Prof back. But this doesn’t even cover his line after Ryan very clearly uses the lamp to wish for Prof back (3/?)

I think it’s in the realm of possibility that The Genie would allow Ryan to get Prof back, if Ryan offers him something other than one of his wishes. And I don’t think that the Genie can’t being people back, I think he’s not supposed to, or it would mess up the timeline. I think the Genie said he’d bend the rules if Ryan used something other than a wish in his deal to get Prof back. It would def set up two conflicts, not even counting the Sub, who is def still alive. (4/5)

Why else does this work? Because Ryan has officially entered final girl status, and there's always the sequel where the final girl has to go through it again. idk whether or not time travel or the sub would be the main conflict next season, but im very excited to see where it goes - connie m anon (5/5)

oooooo there’s so much here !!! i’m kinda along the lines that there was a sacrifice made by ryan to get him back (human/puppet/other ??) orrr your paradigm comment made me consider that there are now two dino profs in-universe, one here present day and one that got hit by the meteor and the genie bent the rules that he brought him back but it’s a Not Him situation whic would kinda explain the article that ryan saw. now that’d be a lot and prob highly highly unlikely buuuuut u never know

and as much as i just want them all to be happy and learning you just know shane “lore” madej has some plot twists up his sleeve

all i need to see is final girl ryan in his not this shit again era

[fandomlit]

gif cred belongs to @artlix-blog

requested by anon “Hello! I would like to request a drabble for Shane Madej with Prompt #57 from your prompt list: "Believe in me, because I've never stopped believing in you." Maybe where the reader is having a self-esteem crisis and Shane comforts them? Thank you in advance and have a great day!”

im ending my writing prompts,, feel free to rq before they’re gone

imagine shane madej calming you when you’re nervous

it was nerve-wracking, working at buzzfeed. from internship to beyond, it was nothing but competition around every corner, and fast-paced rushing to get quality content out multiple times a day.

you’d been sitting on an idea for a while before you finally requested a board to pitch it to. and now today was the day for you to present your idea to the people who controlled your fate at the company.

your hands shook as you held onto your laptop, staring at the clock. you still had another hour before the presentation, but the nerves were making your heart leap to the point that it was almost painful in your chest. you jumped when you felt a hand lay on your shoulder.

“shane, you can’t do that,” you sighed, wiping a clammy hand down your warm face after turning and identifying the tall man.

“sorry, i didn’t know you were so jumpy,” he chuckled, pulling up the seat next to you. “counting down the minutes?”

“seconds, more like,” you gulped. your leg began to bounce uncontrollably. “god, shane, what if they hate it?”

shane shook his head at you. “why would you think that? it’s a good idea!” you shook your head in return, pressing your warm hand to your warmer cheek. “y/n, you need to believe in yourself, ‘cause i’ve never stopped believing in you.”

his words were kind, but they made your gentle heart jump even further into your throat. you took a breath as you let his confession settle into your mind. “im still nervous,” you admitted. 

“that’s okay,” shane shrugged. “as long as you believe that your idea is good, and you’re gonna give it your best effort, then you can be as nervous as you’d like.”

“okay,” you nodded, taking another breath. you gave him a smile that he happily returned. then, for your sake, he changed the topic, and you calmed yourself by listening to him talk.

maybe you weren’t the most confident, calm person, but at least you had shane madej in your life to calm you down.

[tomwambsmilk]

Before I watched Succession I called Greg “Shane Madej if he was a business major” which I still stand by in terms of appearances, but in terms of who he is as a person I hate to say it but the Real business major Shane Madej is Tom Wambsgans

Anon I’ve been thinking about this for the last three days…… Shane Madej if he was a business major is a fantastic concept simply on its face. Let’s take this chaos gremlin with a flagrant disrespect for rules, tradition, and authority and teach him about capitalism and economics and market segmentation and set him lose in a Fortune 500 media conglomerate. I think he’d unionize the C-suite in a matter of days, which is impressive because C-suites generally don’t unionize, on account of being the ones unions are fighting against.

I’m gonna be honest I think if anyone in Succession is Shane Madej with a business degree it’s actually Stewy. However! If Tom and Greg left Waystar to become ghost hunters Tom would for sure be the Shane Madej of the two so I absolutely see where you’re coming from here

[redacted-headcannons]

Obey Me! Headcanon: Most Traveled Locations in the Human Realm!

Where in the human realm do the demons go?

Lucifer 

always visits the exact same spot if its for him time 

a small village in Greece

which is once a year and he stays for a week

its the spot Lilith fell to 

he lovingly touches the ground 

sobs hysterically and loses composure to the point of bursting into demon form 

the locals here started offering him fruit at the entrance of the village

lucifer hated it at first 

local legend and translations call him the “Mourning Man” or the “Morning Man” bc of his wailing and tendency to stay from sunset to sunrise 

Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej definitely do a segment on him 

Mammon

as much we all might think its Vegas

its actually the red light district in Amsterdam 

hes a patron there 

not bc he sleeps with the workers but bc he has a shelter in the middle of the district 

its disguised as a sex shop but its just a front for mammon to run a school for uneducated workers in the district 

used to sustain it with all his gambling money but the graduates decided to become self sufficient 

the shop half makes a ton of money off of tourists AND humans give him a “principal” fee? amazing 

its something he’s actually really proud of and won’t tell anyone about

he honestly only visits every few years and very secretively 

Leviathan 

its Piss Alley in Tokyo 

though Levi will get mad if you call it by its English name. The Japanese translation is Memory Lane 

the tight alleyways made him extremely anxious the first time 

a kind restaurant owner who was smoking outside brought him in for tea and snacks 

they also happened to be streaming some anime 

Levi couldn’t get enough 

though he found it recently he travels there once a month 

recently for Levi is like 40 years ago though 

the couple who owns the joint think that levi is the spirit of their deceased son 

bc Levi only visits when no one is wandering the alleyways or inside the restaurant

their suspicion grows when levi mentions he was in the navy once 

Satan 

doesn’t have a favorite place 

travels through South America pretty frequently 

he grew bored of literature on Greco-Roman history 

decided to say f*ck it and travel to a random spot 

it was definitely Barranquilla

then discovered different dialects of spanish in South America 

ran into a language block in Brazil 

cannot understand Puerto Ricans 

but the countries he visits keeps his mind going and the cultures fascinate him

Asmodeus 

as the self-appointed part boi he loves South Korea and East Asia in general

something about a more or less conservative culture going absolutely ballistic with some alcohol and lust makes Asmo go feral 

one of the few brothers to exercise his sin while in the Human Realm

the country in general has a crazy range of seasons, which Asmo is really jealous of 

also likes it because people tend to compliment him in obvious ways here like taking pictures, giving him gifts on the street, or being scouted by entertainment companies 

no one can quite place if he’s a foreigner or not 

also likes traveling with Levi but mostly for the fashion scene in Japan 

Beelzebub 

it’s an American diner in Tucson 

its open 24/7 and run by a father-daughter duo whose trying to pay for her education 

the father is a big burly man with a kind smile and he thinks that Beel is probably what a son of his would look like 

the daughter has a crush on Beel 

Beel politely informs her that he’s “probably” around the same age as her dad 

understandably, they are shook

they talk about how they can’t tell where his accent is from and are weirded out that his bright orange hair looks like it actually grows out of his head

despite their suspicions, they feed him as much as his human form can handle

Beel returns the favor by tipping generously 

not like $100 tips kinda generously 

but like a few months of rent kinda generously

Belphegor 

used to go on yearly unexplained trips to Greece with Lucifer 

hated them 

when he finally got permission to travel on his own, he went to Mongolia 

it was an accident 

but the fresh air, the large open planes of grass, and the silence were really welcoming to him 

he could watch the stars for another 1,000 years there if his brothers stopped trying to retrieve him 

he avoids people like the plague here 

but its okay bc they don’t know he’s there when he visits 

actually the nearby village’s children think he’s just an odd cow 

Barbatos 

enjoys trips to countries that border the Alboran, Mediterranean, and Black Seas

there’s just so much to learn in these areas 

he can never really choose a favorite place 

frequents the ruins of the library of Alexandria, the island of Cyprus, and Gibraltar

was there when the library burned 

the food in these countries are also vastly different from each other with seafood often the common denominator 

he loves it 

unlike the stagnant nature of the devildom, the ever changing paces, cultures, and people of these regions and countries keeps Barbatos overwhelmed and happy

Diavolo 

he actually thinks that visiting random churches is super funny 

made it three steps in the vatican before feeling super sick 

not from the holiness 

but the stench of overwhelming human sin 

when leaving he cackles because its just so very human 

is interested in what humans interpret as sin within Christianity because their concept of good and evil is so grey

he doesn’t get to the Human Realm very often 

but stays for at least a month every time 

[skepticbeliever-bookclub]

Heya! Do you have any fics where the boys are really mad at each other? Bonus points for angrily kissing☺️

here's a few!

Beyond Love - allredpen | E, 10k, Complete

“I think I specifically asked you to stop pushing me.” Shane’s voice was quiet and deadly and Ryan swallowed against a flood of saliva.

There was a flush that started high on Shane’s cheekbones and spread across the bridge of his nose, and a bead of sweat trickled down his jaw and Ryan was thinking he might lick it off.

-

Ryan’s only asking for a little faith.

run without thinking, fall without blinking - deanwinchesterissaved | E, 8k, Complete

Ryan's eyes have gone dark, but it’s probably just a trick of the light. It's been quite a while since he spoke, Shane thinks, and it really is Ryan's turn to snap something interesting at him. A quid pro quo, if you will.

When Ryan can’t gather himself enough to speak, Shane snaps.

"Don't fucking look at my boner while we fight."

theft by finding - varnes | E, 26k, Complete

Shane looks down at the medallion in his hand. He doesn’t know why he’s kept it, all these years. He doesn’t know why he’s kept it so close, always on hand. He should have sold it years and years ago, but he never quite managed to get around to it, and now here he is, in the burning building that is his whole life, with nothing else.

Over the groaning of collapsing wood, he hears Ryan’s voice: “Shane? Shane? Shane!”

He sounds breathless, like he’s been running. Shane kicks down the cracking front door and exits to the street, tucking the medallion into his back pocket. Ryan is standing right in front of the door, as if he had been about to run inside.

“Tell you what, Ryan, you really know how to make an entrance,” he says, brushing ash off the front of his shirt and hoping that he’s managed to keep most of the bitterness out of his voice. “So was ruining my life once just like, not enough for you?”

OR: don't lie to me, you wanted an Indiana Jones AU.

everything i love gets lost in drawers - beethechange | E, 15k, Complete

“Seriously. No bullshit.” Ryan’s frowning now, his head cocked like he doesn’t understand Shane at all. He’s probably imagining himself on the back of a magnificent steed, crusading into battle, shirtless for some reason because that’s the kind of guy he is. “If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?”

“Not a single thing. Time Scout’s honor,” Shane insists, holding up three fingers. “You don’t meddle with that shit, man. That’s how you end up starting a world war or seducing your own great-great-grandmother or something. I’m not about to return to 2021 and find out I’ve got a jaw like a Habsburg.”

Or: Shane Madej has a funny new t-shirt, a decade of regrets, and a time travel dick appointment, in that order.

The Thrilling Case of the Mysterious Five - MiraclesofPaul | E, 57k, Complete

Shane has spent the last two years arguing with Agent Bergara, a crazy conspiracy theorist and believer in the supernatural. When a woman goes missing, they hit the road to investigate The Five, a cult that chases UFOs around the country.

Or

An X-Files AU if Mulder and Scully initially hated each other and constantly got into unprofessional arguments.

LOST A FIC? CHECK OUT OUR FIC FOUND TAG, AND IF YOU STILL CAN’T FIND IT, SEND US AN ASK!

[choco-glow]

Day of the Dead (Robin)

April 27th.

The bed shifted, creaked as Bruce dragged himself up out of the comfort of his way too expensive (and totally worth it) mattress, followed reluctantly by an equally exhausted Selina. He insisted she use the bathroom first, taking that time to rub his face and scalp, forcing himself into an alertness that he didn’t feel…and Bruce ignored his constantly buzzing phone. He could hear Alfred puttering around in his own room down the hall, Damian’s near silent footsteps alongside his dog’s as the youngest Wayne limped down to let Titus out. Tim…Bruce sighed, knowing that Tim one of two places; passed out in the chair in front of the computer down in the cave, or passed out on the couch in the library, his laptop on the floor.

Either way, he was sleeping, most likely, and Bruce was going to take advantage of that.

“Hey.” He glanced up, and the smile on his lips was small, but real; she looked so good leaning against the doorway in nothing but her underwear and one of his old band tees, tousled hair sticking to her forehead from her shower, a sweet smile on her face, those familiar green-blue eyes always so dark in the morning. Bruce dragged himself upright to wrap her up in his arms, hugging her tight, and Selina melted against him, nuzzling his cheek. “Bruce…”

“Thank you for staying…” He murmured, gratitude thick in his voice, and she patted his bicep, popping up on her tiptoes to kiss his nose.

“Of course, sweetheart. Go wash up and get dressed, I’ll head down and help Alfred with breakfast?”

“Selina, you don’t have to…” She shook her head, chuckling, and he chuckled back, ignoring his impulse to just turn away and go brood. Brooding wouldn’t help today…

“I want to. I know what today is…and why it’s so hard.” He ducked his head, swallowing his next word, and she cupped his cheek. “Bruce. I mean it. Jason…” He lifted his head, blue eyes tired but crinkled from a weary smile.

“I miss him.”

“I do too. Go on. We’ll be waiting for you.” He nodded, and after a lingering kiss, despite Cat’s aversion to morning breath, Bruce let her go. The shower was hot enough to wash away some of the pain from his shoulder and upper back, and after washing up, he carefully redressed the bandage on his thigh, then pulled on a pair of old jeans and a tee shirt. It was Saturday, thankfully, so Bruce didn’t have to worry about a suit, and making his way down the stairs, he was glad to see visitors…especially these visitors.

Four years…four years, he’s been gone now. His heart twinged, but Bruce didn’t have to hold up a mask around Dick, who hugged him tight as soon as his first Robin saw him, nor around Barb, who he knelt to hug as well. Steph looked a little lost, a little nervous to be here, and Bruce hugged her too, whispering thanks to her as he’d done to the rest, and if Steph hugged his waist a little harder, her voice a little thick…well, Bruce wasn’t going to tell.

“Father, Alfred the cat is most worried about you.” Bruce paused as he set Steph back on her feet, turning to face Damian, who was holding his purring tuxedo cat and looking concerned…and Bruce couldn’t help the tiny, choked sob, because Damian looked so much like Jason at that age, his whole being focused on “comfort father”.

“So I see. May I hold him?” Damian nodded, and Bruce gently took the cat, smiling as Alfred bumped noses with him and settled on his shoulder, purring deeper still. “Thank you, Damian…”

“This is an auspicious day; we need all the comfort we can receive…” He murmured, and Bruce hugged his youngest tight, tears spilling over now…and Damian hugged him back, clinging to him tight.

“That’s…that’s true…c’mon everyone, we better get into the kitchen before Alfred the butler and Selina yell at us.” He murmured, and Dick chuckled while Barb smiled and took the lead. Damian pulled away from the hug, but not from Bruce, and they walked in hand in hand, taking comfort from one another. Jason’s photo, the last one taken two weeks before he died, was sitting on the counter, as always, with a candle lit…and the new addition of a tin can with the label meticulously soaked off, full of dandelions, and Bruce paused by it, lips twitching up in a fond smile.

“Master Bruce, I hope you don’t mind…I wanted…well…I remember Jason making those bouquets for us when he was a child…” Alfred murmured, and Bruce just pulled him into a hug, tears running hot down his cheeks now.

“I can’t think of a better thing…It’s perfect. Best bunch of flowers that’s ever entered this house.” They all shared a laugh at that, though Selina, Steph, and Damian looked a little confused, and it was Dick who explained, his voice warm and fond as he remembered all the times Jason would prowl the Wayne grounds, plucking dandelions and purple clovers, filling an old coffee can or tin can full to the brim and bringing them back to the house to share, his smile bright and happy.

“…At first, we offered him the flowers from the garden, and Jason just shook his head, looking scared, and said that he got in trouble for pulling those. No one cared about the wildflowers.”

“Oh, what a sweetheart…” Selina breathed, and Bruce and Alfred settled at the table at last, which prompted Dick to pass them the plate of pancakes and motion to fill up.

“He really was…c’mon, let’s eat, best way to remember our boy.”

“Here here! And whatever we do, avoid Buzzfeed today.” Barb raised her OJ in a toast, and Bruce closed his eyes with a sigh.

“God, I hate Buzzfeed…”

“Same here, old man. Same here.”

—-

Six months I’ve been back, and not a Bat to bother me. Jason settled in for a quiet Saturday morning, and ignored cable for a change; he knew what was going to be all over the news today, and he, for one, didn’t want to hear yet another poignant portrayal of his death. At least Bruce wouldn’t be out in public today; he’d learned that from running through the old news stories from the last few years, and frankly, Jason was grateful for it. It…meant that Bruce at least care enough to mourn him. Even if the goddamn Joker is still alive…

He sighed, and pushed away the anger he still felt at that fact, and pulled out his guns, then pulled up YouTube on his TV. He scrolled through his usual recommended list, feeling…restless and a little out of his element; it was the first death day he’d spent back in Gotham, and his normal goofy favorites just…weren’t going to cut it. Then he saw the one video he didn’t expect to see.

Buzzfeed Unsolved: Jason Todd, Wayne or Robin?

A grin split his face.

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

—-

“Welcome to Buzzfeed Unsolved. I’m Ryan Bergera, and this is Shane Madej. Today, we are covering the mysterious deaths of two important people in the deadly metropolis that is Gotham City…or are we?”

“Wait, what?”

“Jason Todd Wayne, the adopted son of billionaire Bruce Wayne, and the second Boy Wonder, Robin, both of whom disappeared the same day, April 27th…and have never been heard from again.”

“Ryan, you said it was one murder!”

“And therein lays our mystery, because the more you hear details of the case, the more you wonder if these two boys were really the same person.”

“Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…I smell a conspiracy!”

“Shane, you smell lunch.”

“And a conspiracy! C’mon, out with details, gimme something, Bergera.”

“Hold your freakin’ horses, dude, lemme go over things…” Jason watched with unconcealed delight as he disassembled his pistol, cleaning each part as Ryan laid out the admittedly sparse facts of the case; of course, Jason knew the truth, but he was frankly somewhat impressed with the story that Bruce and Alfred had concocted. Of course, they couldn’t say the Joker beat him to death with a crowbar and blew up a building on him ( and even Bruce couldn’t have guessed that Talia al Ghul had stolen his corpse from the morgue, gave them an equally beaten dead kid to bury, and dumped his ass in the Lazarus Pit). But the story of Jason being killed as a hit out on the Wayne family was all too likely.

Batman had a lot of enemies.

Bruce Wayne had a lot more.

“No one was ever charged for Jason’s murder…here’s the last video of the press conference where Bruce explains things.”

“…Jesus, he’s barely keeping it together…I know he’s a billionaire, but he’s got a lot of heart…poor guy…”

“Yeah…I know we tend to fuck around on this channel, but…this kid died. Pretty badly, from what the evidence shows.”

“Man…so, you said there were theories, right?”

“Yeah, and they only get worse from here.”

“Well, we started the program with a dead kid; can’t get any worse than that.” Jason paused the video and just…stared at Bruce’s face, the tears on his cheeks, his exhausted appearance…and sighed a little.

“Sorry Dad…”

—-

“Theory number one: Dick Grayson killed Jason Todd out of jealousy. It was rumored that the brothers didn't get along and Dick and his father didn't have a good relationship when Jason came to the household.” Jason’s eyes narrowed at that one; whoever thought up that crock of shit had another thing coming. Sure, he and Dick had bickered like brothers, but at the end of the day, Dick was his brother from another mother. Even now, even with everything that had happened…Jason missed those hugs something fierce.

“I mean, that’s a pretty cut and dry one…”

“So it would seem…but if you look at the interviews, there’s nothing in Dick’s demeanor that shows any resentment or anger. And both Jason and Dick were orphaned at early ages and adopted by Bruce, so…”

“Yeah, I dunno. It’s cut and dry, but…at the same time, it doesn’t really make sense.”

“Especially given that Dick every year celebrates Jason’s birthday; I mean, killers can be weird, we know that from the last several seasons, but…I dunno. It doesn’t really fit.”

“Probably some asshole detective looking to close it up.”

“Probably…”

“On to number two!”

—-

“Bruce Wayne killed Jason Todd. This was, actually, the first big conspiracy theory to hit the web. Thankfully, it quickly died when people saw just how devastated Bruce was for months after his death, but apparently there are still some trolls on public forums who accuse Bruce Wayne of killing his son.”

“…That’s utter bullshit. Fuckers.”

“Right there with ya, buddy. Right there with ya. Onto three?”

“Please.”

—-

“Jason isn't dead, because of sightings of a homeless boy who wandered all around Crime Alley and looked exactly like Jason Todd. He was completely battered and bruised and suddenly disappeared after a year in the streets, likely due to a trafficking ring.” Jason raised an eyebrow at that, and turned his AK, Shane and Ryan’s incredulousness a comfort. He wasn’t sure why he was still watching this, but…it was kinda nice. Nice to have people be pissed off for his sake.

“Jesus Christ, Gotham, y’all are so dark.”

“May be why their superhero is Batman, dude.”

“STILL. Could this one have some merit, though, since he was an orphan?”

“This one is one of the strongest theories to date, because Jason was from a place called the Narrows, not far from Crime Alley, and according to Wayne Enterprises official documentation in their family museum, Jason had had issues with drugs and abuse, though to what extent, only the family knows. It’s a pretty ugly idea, but…it’s possible.”

“I think I’d rather be dead, Ryan, than go through that.”

“Same. Same…”

—

“Now. We move onto the disappearance of the second Robin, who vanished the same day that Jason Todd supposedly died. Possible theories of the disappearance of the second boy wonder—”

“Ryan. Ryan. Buddy. Champ. Are you implying, really, that Jason and Robin are the same kid?!”

“I’m just reading the script!”

“You wrote the script!”

“…I may be implying that they’re the same, yes.”

“I KNEW IT.”

“You don’t know shit.” Jason started laughing, and paused to get himself a fresh beer, ordering pizza while he was at it. Alright, this wasn’t so bad after all…

—

“He is hiding. Some say he hid from Batman, and some say Batman is hiding him from others. They don't know what, though. Some even say he quit the job.”

“Alright, I’ll bite, who’s ‘some’.”

“Paparazzi, conspiracy theorists, Alex Jones, etc…”

“Ah yes. The enlightened crowd.”

“Pftt…This is the weakest one, so we’ll go ahead and lay out the second theory while we’re at it. The second Robin died. After Robin stopped appearing with batman for an entire year, the same time Jason Todd died. This used to be a widely spread theory, until people realized maybe talking about the death of a boy in a terrorist attack for a conspiracy theory after his father broke down in public isn't the nicest thing to do.”

“And this is your theory.”

“This…is the strongest one I think, and the one that has the most emotional punch. But let’s be real; if the second Robin was indeed Jason Todd, then his Batman HAS to be Bruce Wayne. And c’mon. We’ve all seen the nightmare surrounding THAT theory.”

“Uh, yeah. No thanks, I do not ever need to write another “But the butts don’t match” article ever again in my life.” Jason snorted at that, cracking up laughing, and when he googled “The Butts don’t match”, he had to pause his boys because the ensuing hyena laugh had him flat on his back for ten minutes, absolutely losing his shit.

“Oh Christ, I love the internet…”

—-

“Next theory. He’s a kid, he took a break from vigilante-ing to do something else.”

“Now see, I like this one; that’s like, the most wholesome version. I hope this is the real one, but…”

“I know, man. I know.”

“Sigh.”

“Sigh.”

—-

“Almost there. Some people believe the second and the third Robin are the same, although many people disagree, considering witness reports that they looked very different, and the Robins were very distinctive in their fighting style and personalities.” Jason snorted at that, shoveling a slice of pizza into his gullet, and even the boys were looking a bit annoyed at that theory, Shane more than Ryan.

“Question.”

“Yes?”

“How the hell do they know about fighting styles?!”

“Gotham City Police.”

“Oh. Well, that makes sense now.”

“Also, apparently Commissioner Gordon likes the third Robin more, which tells me they’re definitely not the same.”

“Yeah, if anyone other than Batman would know, he would. What’s next?”

“This one is kinda great, but also a bit outrageous.”

“Ooooh, juicy. Spill the beans, Bergera!”

—-

“Some even believe that the second Robin is now the infamous Red Hood. Gothamites have been known to try to stalk the dude but it's never successful, and supposedly, even the Batfam won’t bother him.”

“I mean, that’s a cool story, but how true is it?”

“Considering the guy wears a red freakin’ helmet with eyeholes and no mouth, who knows how true it is?”

“Still a nicer story than the butts. And hey, Red Hood is pretty chill, man, I think he’s probably the best thing to hit Gotham in years.”

“You’re a Hoodie!”

“The fuck is a ‘Hoodie?”

“Red Hood groupie.”

“Uh, hell no, I just think he’s cool.”

“Uh huh…Well, folks, that ties up our deep dive into the murder of Jason Todd, and the disappearance of the second Robin. To date, this case remains…Unsolved.” As the quiet music that ushered in the ending screen and credits, Jason sat back, working his second slice of pizza, and chuckled a little to himself. If only they knew…well. His people knew who he was; old man Falcone figured it out the second day Jason had been home. The Narrows had welcomed their boy back…And they weren’t gonna tell anyone. They didn’t trust Gothamites, they didn’t trust the Bats…which was why Jason had carved out his place here again, with gunfire and brutal justice. They trusted him.

He turned YouTube over to something mindless, and padded over to the window, feeling the sunshine, weak though it was, break through the clouds and warm his skin. Jason leaned against the familiar brick, and opened the window, letting in a rush of cool air, reminiscent of spring.

It was good to be home.