tomwambsmilk

[tomwambsmilk]

every time i see someone call kirk and spock the oldest ship, i'm filled with the urge to go "hmm actually the holmes and watson girlies have been here for a hundred years now", and i refrain because i know the natural conclusion of this game is gilgamesh and enkidu

[tomwambsmilk]

I had a dream last night that I went to work (already inaccurate bc I work from home but whatever) and went to drop my dog off at the doggie daycare but mistakenly dropped him off at a dogfighting ring instead. and when the mistake suddenly dawned on me I rushed to pick him up terrified that he was going to be badly injured or dead bc he's a really sweet nonagressive dog. but when I got there he was having the absolute time of his life. not injured at all. all the other dogs were crazy and trying to fight but he just thought they were playing and was play-wrestling them into submission somehow. and ngl it was honestly kind of inspiring... give me some of your boundless enthusiasm and total lack of awareness dream-Harvey

[tomwambsmilk]

sorry i covered your neck in dark hickeys and clamped down hard on your throat like limp prey while i was giving you a handjob. you whimpered a little too soft and i blacked out and believed myself to be a feral dog in possession of an entire rotisserie chicken

[tomwambsmilk]

i'm sorry abt that mutual. idk who that is but i just want to say that i agree that it sounds exhausting and i think it's only fair that you get to complain about it on your own blog. for what it's worth i also post a lot of spur-of-the-moment thoughts that i come back to later and i'm like "oh maybe not like that" yk, and i like that there are more people than just me on here doing that. and i think everyone should be allowed to do that, like, this isn't an essay critique seminar.

and i'm so sorry about your dog. i know the pain. it's the fucking worst. i hope your day is better tomorrow. hugs <3

That’s very kind of you to say, thank you ❤️ Yeah, I really want my blog to be a space where I can just say shit without worrying that I’ve considered all the philosophical implications etc etc. Especially bc. You know. It’s tumblr and so the stakes are pretty low here compared to the wider world lol. So it’s probably for the best that I’ve blocked, although it sucks bc I feel like we had a decent rapport in the succblr heyday and idk what changed. C’est la vie I guess. But it is nice to know I’m not the only person treating tumblr like a sort of first-draft space, if that makes sense.

And thanks for your kind words about my dog ❤️ At this point we don’t actually know for sure (they took cell samples and sent them out to a lab for testing) and it is possible that he’ll be fine - but the vet did seem concerned and it’s also just hard not to fixate on the worst case scenario. He’s so sweet and he’s been a huge emotional support for me over the last few years so just the thought of losing him is pretty devastating. But we persevere, I suppose.

[tomwambsmilk]

admittedly also it has been a Spectacularly Bad day bc I found out my dog might have cancer. so coming home from the vet appt and opening up tumblr to find one of my mutuals openly mocking a post I made yesterday just felt especially shitty. so maybe I'm overreacting idk but I'm just so fucking tired

[tomwambsmilk]

k I have blocked them now so I can share this opinion which may genuinely actually be very shitty and maybe i'll delete later idk but. there is a particular subsection of tumblr which is genuinely so exhausting.... like sorry I didn't think through all the sociopolitical implications of a movie I liked before I posted about it and have an effective critique ready on the way it presents american individualism. sorry I used the word 'burnout' to describe my own experiences without considering how it perpetuates class differences bc of its corporate middle-class origins even though I myself have never made much more than minimum wage. sorry I posted about how I thought the lana del rey jfk fancams on youtube were funny in such a way that it showed my ignorance about the relationship between lana del rey's music (which I don't listen to and know nothing about) and american imperialism.

and like. I get that other people have done lots of reading and thinking about these things and I have not and its probably good for someone to draw my attention to them. and really genuinely I do try to have the humility to learn and I have learned a lot and so a part of me feels bad complaining but. at the same time. jesus fucking christ. is it too much to ask for you to not be an absolute dick about it in a space where you know I can see it?????????? like if you're posting about it just to vent or rant that's fine, but if it's happening so much then why are you still following me?? and if you're posting about it bc you genuinely want to counter what I've said or educate someone or w/e then why are you being such an asshole about it. like clearly I don't know shit and clearly you're not interested in actually talking about it constructively so what the fuck are we doing here

[tomwambsmilk]

does anyone else have mutuals who vaguepost about their posts all the time. or is it just me

[tomwambsmilk]

everyone talks about the homoerotic aspect of rope which is definitely There but tbh I was personally far more gripped by the arrogant rupert cavell facing the horrific real-world consequences of the philosophy he’s espoused and preached to impressionable young people for years. how seeing it in action finally reveals to him how reprehensible it is, and how it forces him to grasp the extent to which he bears responsibility for giving brandon an intellectual and moral backing with which to defend the atrocities he wants to commit. an incredibly relevant and compelling character arc that we don’t see enough of in film, 12/10, absolutely no notes

just finished watching rope for the first time. autism be damned, jimmy stewart can work a monologue

[tomwambsmilk]

just finished watching rope for the first time. autism be damned, jimmy stewart can work a monologue

[tomwambsmilk]

why is my dashboard full of posts about sex in the Friday in the 13th movies

[tomwambsmilk]

[tomwambsmilk]

the fucked up thing about studying film is sometimes you’ll have a transcendent emotional experience at 3 in the afternoon in a basement lecture hall in tiny cheap uncomfortable seats. and then immediately afterwards you’ll have to drive home in rush hour traffic

[tomwambsmilk]

everyone be cool about my horrible vibe please

[tomwambsmilk]

since when is 1500-2000 words a 'short essay'. I need to have words with one of my professors

[tomwambsmilk]

I am once again on my knees begging and pleading for people who put their absurdly long x reader fics in the character tags to use readmores…… I am slowly going insane scrolling past 2000 words of the most out-of-character daddy-dom versions of my blorbos having extremely vanilla sex with y/n

[tomwambsmilk]

it's nice to have close friends to talk to who know where you're coming from & can put anything you say within the broader context of what they know of your beliefs & actions, and whom you trust not to interpret you maliciously. some people try to use the internet at large as this kind of space but that is the mind-killer

[tomwambsmilk]

91% of adulterers stop before they find the one mistress who will bring back their zest for life. KEEP CHEATING!!!!!!!!