#send me more asks or @ me on posts and other stuff

[critterishere]

Alright guys,,, I have to make a serious post for once,, whomp whomp but I really do have to. I can’t ignore this.

So I received an link to a post in my ask box, and what the post is basically saying is that I am a trans fetishist for drawing my P1 doe with body hair and muscles. Not a fun thing to hear as a trans person, and especially not fun to hear as a non-passing trans person. 

I will not link that post or blog because I do not want that person to be harassed, if you do find them please DO NOT send them anything. I really don’t want people to get involved in petty online discourse. It’s not fun to experience nor look at.

These are the examples this person used (reposting my art without permission) to show that I’m being weird about trans women. This person used an April Fools joke drawing as one of the examples. The April fools drawing is heavily inaccurate to how P1 looks. I can’t believe someone would prefer those drawings over an actual attempt at a design for a woman P1 (trans or cis). But hey, if someone wants to draw anime girl P1, then you do you! 

Now, about my design for P1 doe (I also call her Postal 1 Lady fyi)….

Exaggerate masculine traits…..? Look, I try my best to make P1 lady look similar to her male counterpart, because they are the same person, just through different times in life. They’re going to have the same body type. In most of my P1 lady drawings, I imagine she’s around the beginning of her transition into womanhood, so she’s obviously not going to pass right away (I also think she would be a bit nervous to fully commit to transitioning). She can’t afford surgeries or hormone replacement therapy, and I don’t think she has to medically transition in order to be considered a women. Sorry for not drawing her super hyper feminine, but I really don’t think she would constantly dress or look that feminine. She’s allowed to wear jeans, and be hairy, and have strong arms. This person did say that it’s ok to draw women who are trans that fit some of these traits, but then bashes me for drawing a women that doesn’t fit into the binary. It’s fine to draw women that doesn’t fit the “perfect” image of a women in theory, but actually drawing a lady with traits that don’t fit the idealized version of what a woman “should be” is apparently wrong. Let me draw someone that doesn’t 100% pass. Let me draw people that don’t fit the box of what that gender holds. Let me draw a human being that expresses themself differently than others of the same group. Let me draw myself and other people like me please. Also,, side note,,, for the love of everything, cis women can also be hairy and tall and muscular and stuff like that, I’m saying this to tell you that WOMEN can look like ANYTHING. MEN can look like ANYTHING. A PERSON OF ANY GENDER could look like ANYTHING. We all look so different from each other and that’s amazing, so lets also draw different people as well? Thanks. (I think this person would die if they saw a butch trans women.)

Also, about that comment…

Yes, I have drawn odd art of Postal 1 dude. My bad, my liege. I love being policed on what to draw by a proshipper. Ain’t that wonderful /vsarc… I want you to know that I have also drawn art of P1 dude in skirts that are way less peculiar. Some of them are old, but I promise you I am not constantly being gay for this guy (as in not being a freak). I’ve probably drawn way more art of P1 being queer around guns than drawing him in pretty dresses. I would absolutely prefer to be called a gun fetishist than a trans fetishist because at least it would somewhat be correct.🫤 But this isn’t about that.

Anyways, cis people will hate us all equally, let’s not be so crazy about the boxes they built for us. Thanks folks. And now, for my final act, I will be turning every single character ever into a trans person right now. I’m turning evil and now your favorite male character is xenogender and uses meow/xey, thanks. (If they saw how I draw Not Important, they would probably throw rocks at me. I changed absolutely NOTHING about her design. Shout out to my favorite evil women ever!🗣‼️)

Just wanted to put an epic lady compilation at the end here. I love my wife so much!! She is my world..❤️ 🐾 I don’t know if I should draw more of her at this point….. but eh….. That’s my wife you know..

[psilliguykai]

WELCOME TO WILLIAM’S WANTON WEARY WILES!

An impulsive, apathetic man’s misanthropic jams. An eclectic collection of futile dissensions, a pretentious pile of literary bile filled with self destructive theatrics and rectifying tactics and any other slew of showy words.

Welcome.

(Info under the cut)

*queue WTTH instrumental*

Hello boys, girls, neithers, boths, and in-betweens and welcome to William’s Wanton Weary Wiles, a Will Wood/WWATTW x CCCC AU! Consider this a masterpost. Note that this AU is still very much in development, and this post will be updated as things change/get added :] Also. being totally up front. I’ve never made an AU or attempted a story this complex before, so please bare with me if things get confusing! Feedback is appreciated ^^

Warning! WWWW tackles sensitive topics, but nothing foreign to Will Wood or Chonny Jash’s music. Appropriate warnings will be put in the tags of each post, but overall CW/TW for: alcoholism/addiction, mental health issues, suicidal ideation, manipulation, and (moderate) violence.

The WWWW AU story is very similar to the original CCCC album, but with slightly different themes and tone. It still follows HMSW after Whole splits, creating Heart, Mind, and Soul. However, each character and their dynamics + certain plot points (e.g the Juno incident) are altered.

Asks about this AU are extremely welcome! Could be genuine questions, thoughts, serious, silly - anything (so long as it’s SFW!) is great and will help me with making this a Better and Actual Thing :3

In WWWW each member of HMSW represents and is based off of a WW(ATTW) album. Each character’s songs are from their respective albums, and the story will be told in the form of a written series of covers of songs by WW/WWATTW (plus some visual pieces :]). These will be posted individually and linked here as they get released.

3/31/25 EDIT: The information above is somewhat outdated! The idea of having to write 20+ song covers has been kind of killing my motivation for this project, so I've decided I will only be writing the covers I'm confident and interested in. However, the full tracklist with notes on what happens in each song will be posted soon[ish] and hyperlinked here when it's finished so you all still get the full storyline :]

While HMSW still exist with the same vague concepts and color themes, they do diverge a decent bit from the original CCCC album and I would not consider them to be representations of canon HMSW (or of any real people, including Whole /srs). Ref sheets have been posted and are linked in each character's name.

Important overall info: 

- HMS exists in a sort of parallel reality I’m calling Marybell (as a reference to Suburbia Overture as well as The Prescription). It’s a town within Will’s psyche that reflects his reality. It can change depending on his state of mind/current situation, and pretty much only exists to provide a physical space for HMS.

- Time loop!! Soul remembers every loop and knows the vague events that happen when Will is whole (though the memories are less clear than when he’s split). Heart and Mind don’t remember previous loops and aren’t really aware of anything when HMS is combined. Physical changes caused to any of HMS remain, even when the timeloop resets.

- LI does exist in WWWW! She’s about as significant as she is in CCCC and will probably get at least an intro, if not her own ref sheet at some point. I also have a sort of Darrell-equivelant which will probably get his own thing at some point as well.

Meet the cast: 

All characters have multiple names which can/will be used interchangeably. I’ve included the pronouns I think the characters would use, but you all are welcome to use whatever you’d like for any of them. Run free :3 here are the posts with the ref sheets for each of them - info on its own is below:

William

Jimmy/Laplace/Cotard

Whole:

- Whole/Will/William Racheal McSprout

- In Case I Make It

- He/him (GNC Cis Guy)

- 23-24 years old across the album

- Works at a small grocery/general tourist store

- Makes music as a side hobby. Not that successful lol. He makes decent stuff though - within the AU, the ICIMI covers featured would be considered his original music. 

- Spends his extra money on video games, alcohol, music equipment (sorta, though he mostly borrows shit and uses free programs), and serving cunt (fashion/makeup stuff)

- Not aware of HMS, though they’re aware of him. Mostly just feels a general sense of dissonance during splits, rather than Knowing the presence of these Multiple Actual Guys. Can’t interact with Marybell, same as HMS can’t (directly) interact with the “Real World”.

Soul:

- The Soul/Mr. Capgras/Cotard/Atlas

- He/it

- SELF-iSH

- Whole’s “self” - who he is at his core. His identity and personality at its most raw form. 

- He’s the most in-tune with Will’s actual state of being (health, emotions, etc.) and considers himself to somewhat be William, just separated and with pieces of himself missing. 

- Ultimate goal is to become a Happy Healthy and Alive Whole. Unlike in CCCC, the self-destruction is left more to H/M in this one .

- Knows he needs to get Heart and Mind to work together if he wants to keep William good and well, but he’s growing incredibly tired throughout the loops. He primarily experiences Will’s worst moments and rarely gets a break. Spends most of him life trying to get these. Fuckers. to get along and he’s so incredibly done with both of them. Growing distant, but ultimately does care about H/M on a personal level and really wishes they could all be happy together.

Mind:

- The Mind/Laplace/Al/Marsha/Apollo

- He/she

- The Normal Album

- Whole’s logic, as well as his self-control and calculated decision making. Doing his best to keep Will stable and often doing so to the point of burnout.

- Primarily tries to keep Heart in check, to the point of excessively trying to control it and Soul. Wants to keep Whole productive and functional by any means necessary. 

- At the end of the day, he does want Whole to live a happy life, but (despite keeping up a facade of superiority and strength) fears Heart’s impulsiveness/ erratic nature and feels the need to over-compensate in order to keep Will safe. 

Heart:

- The Heart/Jimmy/Vestal/Artemis

- He/it

- Everything Is a Lot

- Whole’s emotions, as well as his impulsiveness and indulgence. Sometimes joy-seeking, sometimes self-destructive. Often those two go hand in hand.

- Focused on breaking free from Mind’s controlling nature, trying to get her and Soul to “live a little”. Wants to allow Whole unbridled indulgence (in every whim and emotion, including negative) often to the point of self-destruction. 

- Ultimately knows he’s wrecking Will, but finds it’s the only way he knows to soothe his suffering. He knows Mind is right about them needing to get their shit together, but finds him difficult to work with and listen to when he’s so excessively overbearing. 

Tags:

Everything about this AU will be listed under the tags #wwww au and #william’s wanton weary wiles. 

Additional tags (color-coded according to character): #William Racheal McSprout, #Jimmy wwww, #Al wwww, and #Mr. Capgras wwww

[vulpinesaint]

I really like your writing style. Do you have any literature you can share that you use as inspo?

going to start by disclaiming that from a specifically stylistic approach, i don't know if i have any writers that are distinctly similar. i do have writers that i find inspiring, though! if none of these are helpful for style, i hope they can inspire you in the same way that they make me aspire to achieve fantastic things with my writing :) i am always a poet first and foremost, whether it's poetry or prose (which is often just poetry hiding in a longer form), so most of my recommendations are poems; i have a few books at the end, though, just in case. everything that i link here should be free to access!

i am like 90% sure that anyone seeing this will already know that i keep all my poetry over at @trickstersaint, but just in case you're coming direct from a quiz, that's the place to read more of my writing! now. onto my list of a bunch of other trans poets with tumblr platforms 🖤

keaton st. james (@boykeats), i think, was the first modern poet that i really found and loved. stumbling across some of his dictionary poems as a younger poet was so revolutionary to me, and reading his poetry changed the way that i thought about and approached poetry as a whole. inspiration in the way of seeing the things that someone can do with poetry. opening up all the limits. this is what every good poem will do for you a little bit, i think, but keaton st. james is always my first recommendation for a modern poet. highly recommend his collections growth and light (i personally really love light. guy who is normal about religion voice) and rural boys watch the apocalypse is to me what that one richard siken poem about being in a car with a beautiful boy is to everyone else haha

other poets whose work i really enjoy and admire include silas denver melvin (@sweatermuppet) and dante émile (@orpheuslament)! recommending the poems an impractical marvel and dioscuri from them, respectively. sweatermuppet also has a full collection called grit, and orpheuslament has one called misplaced organs and various saints (this particular one isn't free but linking it here!) :)

my favorite poem since high school has been gravity by maura o'connor. life-changing. that poem is just like me for real.

for more of a narrative style, if you've read + liked my piece aromanticism, i definitely recommend with those we love alive by porpentine! really gorgeous twine piece with a kind of mysticism to it that could definitely tie back into the kind of stuff you'd see in my little quizzes too :)

if you're looking for actual literature-as-in-books, i can point you towards our wives under the sea by julia armfield and white is for witching by helen oyeyemi. both are novels that i've enjoyed for their kind of eclectic and poetic writing recently! i will also take any chance to recommend my favorite book, which is the hours by michael cunningham; regardless of similarity or inspiration, i find the writing of this book gorgeous and heartbreaking and i think it scrapes at the human condition in a way that draws blood. gently. if you know what i mean.

i hope this was helpful! i constantly feel as if i don't read enough poetry so if anyone has any suggestions they want to give me. i am more than happy to hear them <3 happy reading everybody!

[purplebass]

I was thinking how people from different Londons smell different to another person (like Kell smelling like flowers or Lila smelling like smoke) and I think if you ever meet me in person I would probably smell like rotten eggs or fireworks because of the sulfur coming out of the geysers lmao

[batsplat]

do you have a favorite bit of motogp gossip that you either want to know is it’s true, or you just enjoy as a stand alone piece, no need for further investigation?

one of those where I initially stared at and like. lost all motogp knowledge in my brain. and then stuff did come back to me. this is all very much low hanging fruit and I'll add to it when I remember more interesting/quirky ones. BUT here are some things I want to know:

y'know how casey randomly suggests in his autobiography that valentino was sabotaged in the 2006 title decider? so, personally, I don't really buy this, because 'why' and also 'casey girl you are SO paranoid' - though, sure, if given the option I'd like to double check if valentino had a dud tyre (completely plausible) and also if somebody really deliberately gave him one (?? casey idk about this one). but what I'm REALLY curious about is... there's a change in his autobiography?? like I've seen this book excerpt float around online and the text is different from what's in my book!! mine's from the paperback version so I assume there may have been some edits for that, so that would make it the newer version... but like. this is a real editorial change. check this out:

version posted on the internet, from the hard cover edition???

version in my book, first paragraph is the same

But as soon as the lights went out Valentino was in trouble. I was one of six riders to pass him on the first lap and if you watch the footage you can see how much he is struggling to even keep up with us. His rear and front tyres were just not working together and on lap five the front inexplicably folded and he went down, right behind me. I couldn't help but wonder how he could be having such problems with his tyres. Could he really have been stitched up? It seemed so improbable, but I remember watching that race back in the motorhome that evening and thinking, Welcome to my world, mate.

this isn't 'gossip' because I haven't found anyone else who has spotted this, but like? that's a substantive change? if my one really is the newer one? ...?

let's set aside the fascinating insight you get into casey's knotty and at times bizarre valentino rossi complex with him adding the line "welcome to my world, mate" (oh my god. please just take him to dinner. I will crowd fund this I literally just need to be able to listen in. casey come on CALL him I NEED you to do the dinner thing, YOU suggested it not me). like we're not going to even touch that. but if my version really is the updated one, then he's kinda softened his stance, no?? "convinced he was stitched up" to "could he really have been stitched up"

what happened?? who wanted this change? casey? an editor? did dorna give casey a call? did some poor bloke from pr have to politely ask whether casey could please not state in his autobiography that the most popular rider ever had had a title stolen from him by the establishment?

(casey was talking about valentino's stolen tenth BEFORE it was popular. he did it even before valentino did, bless)

"there are a lot of commercial interests in the sport" also didn't make the jump to the 'new version', mind you. did Big America get to casey

come on you guys have to admit this is an odd change?? does nobody else thing this is weird??

okay fine moving on

Did Valentino Literally Curse Sete

(like. not literally as in did he curse curse sete, literally as in did he say it)

(though if he did literally literally curse curse sete, I suppose I'd also like to know that bit)

the commentators in 2003 brno say so and I'm inclined to believe them, but I need to double check whether sete and valentino really were partying on ibiza together right after that very painful valentino loss at the sachsenring. such a fascinating little detail, that's not something post-2004 valentino does I reckon

I mean, look, obviously a bunch of things from that time period I want to have fact checked. including valentino's friend hearing sete say in late 2003 that valentino wasn't going to be smiling so much after joining yamaha. classic bit of gossip, did it actually happen though

I've referenced this a few times before, but y'know how valentino said that marc's manager alzamora told him after sepang 2015 that marc had been angry at valentino for killing his title charge? I just want. to know. if this conversation actually happened. I don't think valentino would pluck a lie like that out of thin air, especially something so specific about somebody on marc's team, and he has known alzamora for decades but like. maybe almazora just said something valentino misinterpreted? I just find this such a bonkers thing from alzamora if it's true that I would like it confirmed for my own sanity, you know?

yeah look I would like to know if marc really did get casey kicked out of honda, obviously I've discussed this before and it's very he said she said but yeah it'd be fun to know the truth

this is literally peak gossip because I can't find a source for it but I swear a journalist did say it: the rumour is that marc blocked joan mir from joining honda in 2019. like, I'm only including this because I was explicitly asked for gossip as I just cannot find where it was said... but it is something that is. out there. and... again, just curious. like I buy it, but also it could be bullshit!

on a similar note, did he ever make clear to honda he didn't want either vinales or rinsy on his team circa 2016? was it just a vibe in the paddock or was this an actual demand from marc?

speaking of!! the whole thing about alzamora basically rigging the moto3 teammate situation between rinsy and alex marquez to ensure the latter won the title that year. what was that all about, how far did they go there

switching to valentino now. this doesn't quite fit the remit of the question because it IS something I've investigated. and my conclusion is basically a big *shrug*

did valentino block casey from joining yamaha in either 2005 or 2006, and did he attempt to block jorge?

there are completely contradictory sources on the timeline here that do make me feel like there's a chance yamaha was just fucking with casey at the very least in 2006 and valentino had fuck all to do with it, which a recent interview from casey did actually hint at too... he made it sound like maybe yamaha was just using him to try to drive down the price of another rider (which would then presumably be jorge)

I just want to know! and the thing is, it was a matter of open paddock discussion that valentino blocked casey (jorge explicitly references it in in 2007), but something doesn't quite add up between what jorge, casey, colin edwards, articles from the time and lin jarvis have said on the subject! my current pet theory is that valentino blocked casey in 2005 from joining the satellite yamaha team in 2006 (weirdly casey doesn't really imply valentino was responsible for this one in his autobiography, but whatever) but NOT in 2006 (casey does imply valentino was responsible here, you see my problem). and yamaha was fucking around with all four of valentino, casey, jorge and edwards in late 2006/2007. but. yeah. I have unanswered questions

the entire 'alex marquez blocked from yamaha' situation.... again. something is off there. you know the story from late last year about how he was blocked in 2019 from joining the petronas team in 2021? this completely threw me, because there was an entirely different story about this YEARS back in 2018!! I initially assumed the two stories were about the same event, but it can't have been! one's him being blocked in 2019 for 2021, one's him being blocked in 2018 for 2019

from the descriptions of both there's also no confusing them. the 2018 story has to be about the 2018 contract cycle because that's quite literally when it was published, and the 2023 story has to be about the 2019 contract cycle because it explicitly references the space fabio would create by moving to the factory team for 2021, which obviously wouldn't make sense before fabio's actual rookie season. like they have to be about different stories

and in that same 2018 story, marc said that back in 2016 lin jarvis told him no marquez would be joining yamaha:

again, this was in 2018!!

plus, he did say back in 2016 that he'd spoken to jarvis, which kinda backs up this is a conversation that did happen and marc isn't just misremembering the timeline/lying (the notion of marc joining yamaha in 2017 is fantastic, what an absolutely horrendous idea):

now what marc says in 2018 about his conversation with lin jarvis is very similar to petronas yamaha boss razali saying in 2023 that he'd been told by yamaha no marquez was allowed at yamaha. suggests that this is a thing that did happen!!

but again... razali was told that in 2019... after marc had already been told the same thing three years before that, and the exact same deal had already been blocked one year earlier... does nobody else think this is weird?? like, I'm not saying yamaha hq covered themselves in glory here, but is it not a little strange the satellite yamaha squad had basically almost signed a contract with the younger marquez again without checking in with yamaha, just ONE YEAR after this same contract had already been blocked???

again this isn't actually gossip because I'm apparently the only person going ?? about this but I'll say it: ??

kinda been annoying me since december last year, like I know it doesn't matter but I'm just curious about it! why's nobody else talking about the 2018 story!

idk my best guess here is that petronas yamaha was faffing about and playing weird games with the factory team, that the deal was never as likely to happen as they made it sound to the marquez camp. zero proof, that's me spreading rumours yeah... time to create some of my own unfounded gossip

(also of course I'm curious if valentino did have any actual involvement in this. like if lin jarvis was telling marc this in the year of our lord 2016, I'm assuming valentino didn't have to explicitly say to jarvis that 'inviting marc to the team for 2017' wasn't exactly high on his christmas wish list. it is interesting that marc frames it as jarvis making this about. like. all the marquez's way back in 2016, and again, would this really have been on valentino's radar at the time? that feels a bit...? alex marquez was thirteenth in that moto2 season? would certainly be very... thorough for valentino to already have had that particular talk with jarvis)

(mind u there's a fun moment in a 2019 presser where valentino is sitting between the two marquez brothers and the younger marquez is being asked about his contract situation, the implication being he'd had a motogp deal and no longer had a motogp deal. and he's answering and marc's doing his freak stare and valentino is Right There sitting between them... I <3 mess)

man did valentino actually ever fucking block anyone from joining his manufacturer #notmygoat. I still think he didn't know about jorge until the deal was basically done, had nothing to do with the younger marquez, at most blocked casey the one time but then yamaha wasn't actually seriously intending on signing casey in 2006 and was just using it as a play in their jorge negotiations, which.... idk. bit disappointing if true icl. I hope he blocked someone, I'll say it

(also. okay. I don't want to sound awful here because I do have a lot of sympathy for baby!casey but. ignoring the morality for a second, I do LOVE the idea that valentino blocked casey from getting a satellite yamaha seat fresh off his 250cc runner up season because it would conclusively prove valentino did ABSOLUTELY rate casey!! like he didn't even want casey to come close to being his teammate!! not even a sniff at his data!!) (genuinely this is the rumour I'm choosing to believe, I know there's a chance valentino didn't successfully block anyone and was just a complete flop but I want the 2005 one to be true. it really adds something to the rivalry idk... like ugh valentino saw how dangerous casey was proper early when much of the paddock wasn't yet convinced... cute)

moving on

there was a rumour in 2015 that valentino approached dani after aragon to complain about how sturdy his defence was, like moaning about denying him points and shit. now, there's exactly one article about this in marca that is the sole origin point for the rumour, and it says that valentino also interrupted a honda party after phillip island to complain to marc. this does not match up at all with anything either marc or valentino have said since then - and would mean you have to believe that marc wasn't actually blindsided by that presser... also feels a bit unlikely we would have heard NOTHING from any other source if vale was really gatecrashing a honda party

of course, neither dani nor valentino have spoken about this supposed post-aragon 2015 meeting either, not even when dani was kinda accusing valentino of hypocrisy during sepang 2015, but I suppose you could say maybe dani's just not the type of guy to bring it up again. however.... I do reckon occam's razor kinda applies here and if one of these stories is bullshit then they probably both are, plus it's not like marca is exactly a neutral source. still would love to be certain!! instinctively I don't really think that's valentino's style at all, but of course it'd be intriguing if the story were true because it'd be a sign of how 2015 kinda messed with him. but I still feel 2015 is more about him falling back on past tools he'd mostly discarded - rather than, like, acting wildly out of character, which again... well, this brings us back to how that kind of behaviour isn't really valentino's style. basically, I don't buy it, but that's kinda why I am so curious about it? because I feel like it would be really interesting and quirky if he had actually done that. does this make any sense

speaking of, again this doesn't really count because I did kinda investigate it last year.... but you know when valentino in that podcast referenced a conversation with marc around the time of sepang 2015, where marc stared blankly at him? I have a hunch about when that conversation happened, want to know if it's right. this also isn't really 'gossip' because this is a conversation I'm having with myself but

y'know when bez was injured on the ranch late-ish last year? a bunch of journalists pointed out how hush hush they were about what actually happened to bez - like they repeatedly drew attention to that because god knows THEY love some gossip lol. which probably means nothing, but I'm curious what the journalists' theory here is, like do they think it was an embarrassing injury?? OR. look. I suppose the conspiracy theory would be that pecco caused it (obviously accidentally!!) and everyone at the ranch knew it'd be a terrible look if they admitted that because of the whole title fight situation. call me casey stoner because those dots are not real and definitely have not been connected

okay, you know how there were rumours in the spanish tabloids bez said some real ugly stuff to marc at valencia last year, and bez didn't directly address it but freaked a little and did a sort of blanket denial that he'd said anything that bad? I don't actually think he did tbh, but again. would just like to check!

while we're already on bez, there was one report that the switch to aprilia was partly motivated by marc to factory ducati. again, not entirely sure I buy that this would factor into his thinking beyond the obvious 'this means the route to that factory ducati seat looks even more closed than it already did' angle'.... it's very much down my list of priorities but I'd quickly confirm/deny it if given the chance yeah

that's all for now lol

[justabeewithapen]

Not an AU question, but when do you actually find time to draw??

Ummm generally early morning and late afternoon! I wake up at 6 every morning and spend an hour or so reading then at 7 I take my dogs out. From 7-10 I eat breakfast and draw, after that I have to lock in for school!! I generally draw a ton in that time frame and take pictures, then stagger post the art through the day(s)! If I am very lucky I’ll finish my assignments by 3 and I can do full art until 5-6 (when the sun goes down and makes it hard to do traditional art and post it). USUALLY I don’t finish until 5-6 so I instead do a bunch of sketches that I’ll line and color in my morning time! I basically spend all my free time drawing!! (Though I am trying to do that less and play games/read more so I don’t burn out)

It’ll be so nice when it is summer and the sun is up until 8, you’ll see more of me then!

Hope that answers that for you!!

[so-very-small]

btw like, if we are mutuals or even just been following me for a while, you can literally always ask me to promo something. like donation posts or commission sheets, even your art or writing or something, i’d be so so so down to reblog it! i know this blog has a relatively large following for the gt fandom, and i’d love to use that for good !

[pekoeboo]

ugh. some thoughts.

really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.

hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.

I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.

I'm just . tired, I guess.

[thecatspasta]

Nobody: Me (npd haver) when I see a post specifically about NPD: OMGGG ME FR!!!!!

[obscuremechala]

oc designs i will be tweaking entirely be upon ye

four of the main ensemble and there's still more to go, these guys take up a lot of my brain's bandwidth

bex tries to explain the lore under the cut bc this post is kinda on the long side ? idk

so this story takes place on a rather isolated mining planetoid named Melien, under the jurisdiction of an offworld company, Unilacht Co. Excavation Division, hailing from a planet inhabited by sentient robots called mechala. Due to [circumstances kept vague to uninformed personnel], this branch of Unilacht operations has also been tasked with the mission to build a substantial army--using whatever means necessary.

However, the reclusiveness and secrecy of the Unilacht Co. Excavation Division's overseers has frustrated a good amount of their personnel. Currently a substantial number of their mechanicized soldiers and personnel have joined a rebellion effort started by the former Unilachti Command Administrator (who has since been recaptured, but the movement continues in his absence).

Enceladus, Maltrion, and Meo were all part of the same defection cohort (joined the rebellion at the same time). Virion joined them a bit later under some interesting circumstances. All of them are not fond of the Unilacht for vastly different reasons, but all have their own deeply personal reasons to resist the rule of the Unilacht.

ok now im motivated to do a lot more drawing/stuff with these guys while i revamp the plot for the 45th time be prepared for more oc shenanigans *looks at smudged ink on wrist* all 5 people who voted on the poll. appreciate you :thumbsup:

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Hi I'm the autism exploding anon!! Hi. I think I need to deep dive all of your art and stuff because I think I'm just immediately obsessed with your interpretation of Hels and Wels.

The nether star motifs are really smart and creative, actually- I love that idea!! And it definitely looks really nice, so ya know, bonus points

You're awesome and your works are incredible

-💫

Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoy it all :]

Everytime someone else gets obsessed with my portrayals of Helsknight i grow a little stronger. And also a little bit more tempted to drop everything else I should be doing to draw or write about him.

[crimeronan]

grown ass woman and you didn't even know Rhodesia? Please pray some Paradox Interactive games like eu4 or hoi4. look it up. Please this is depressing if even weird smart girls don't know basic history

hey guys. get a load of this fucking moron.

[fortunately-bi]

Please tell us about your fallout ocs

This is like my dream ask and I am sitting here asking myself if I should show restraint or if today is finally the day I make my extensive and bullshit fallout oc lore everyone’s problem.

And the answer is you asked for this so I’m about to make it everyone’s problem! (I will do a cut because my god this is going to be VERY long)

For starters as much as I love fallout my favorite thing to do is push the boundaries of “under the right circumstances would this be something that could work in the universe” and I run with it, so if something most things I say sound like they might be a lil out of bounds, I most likely saw something that was barely given any attention and went I can work with this.

BECCA

Let’s start with my main girl, Becca, formerly Rebecca Riley. She was made in a lab using her parents DNA and they were the lead scientists in a program that planned to essentially make super humans to take back the world after the inevitable nuclear war that would wipe the whole planet. They were meant to be hardy to radiation, have a higher strength and intellect and be immune to a variety of diseases. Becca was the first, but before they could study her at length the bombs fell and she was instead chosen to be shipped off to vault 76 while her parents went to a different government vault that was meant to protect some of the most kept secret politicians and scientists of pre war world and allow them to continue to run things in secret. Anyways, Becca was only 3 months old when she entered the vault and kept in a more secluded area of the vault where she could be monitored and influenced to serve the US government and their goals when she would finally exit. Unfortunately for them, Becca wound up being a bit of a trouble maker and very independent, often sneaking off to just hang around and do whatever and go play with other kids and people in the vault and also hang out with the Overseer who she really liked being around. When the vault finally opened and the residents went out into Appalachia, her guardians also leaving her to go do their own thing after dealing her chaotic ass for years, she finally got her first taste of true freedom! And went a lil too crazy with it. After a few months of running around and doing whatever she pleased and trying to find a place to set her camp, she started to notice some changes with her body. Her super human abilities were triggered by the background radiation and her skin started to burn and melt in some areas, and she found herself having random blackouts and waking up in places surrounded by bodies and covered in blood and realizing oh shit, I’m blacking out and eating people. It is important to note that while she is part ghoul, she is not entirely a ghoul, but she was on the verge of going feral when she meets her friends (aka my friends who played the game with me!). Months pass and a good almost half of her face is sliding off but she’s joined a group that although is disgusted that she has to eat people sometimes to stay sane and will gag and give her a hard time in disgust every time she does, they still care for her and stick around for a while and they get to work exploring Appalachia together and trying to find something to help Becca and her bizarre cravings, every now and again splitting off for a few days to do their own thing. Becca eventually meets her brother who was her parents natural born son and not built like she was, and he’s apparently gifted at medicine and food and desperately wants to help her with her problem. He starts with removing her teeth since at this point she wears a gas mask to keep her face covered and her teeth are mostly all falling out and at her request he installs a set of permanent metal sharpened teeth (which made it extra fun for her when she eats firecracker berries). Becca continues to do adventuring with her friends and soon people start entering back into Appalachia as the Scorched are dealt with and her abilities enhance with the help of the mutations introduced into the world from the enclave. Eventually a small government faction shows up and she’s forced into it for a bit, wing told it was because of orders by her mother (who she has never met), and while she is there and constantly trying to escape she meets a guy a year younger then her named Keagan. Keagan gets up to shenanigans with her and they cause a hard time for what is essentially their captors, and eventually they’re like hey, let’s mess around and have sex, Becca was told that she wasn’t fertile so they weren’t worried. A few days later Keagan also confesses that he’s actually just like her, another superhuman who was let out into the world to reclaim it from the normal humans and that he wants to get rid of all of them so they can be the dominant species.

Becca is pretty repulsed by that way of thinking and pushes him very hard on trying to move away from it, saying that between the vault and the time that had passed since she got out and what she’s been through she doesn’t necessarily think there’s anything wrong with normal humans and tries to live as normally ash she can among them and enjoys the world for what it is, both good and bad. She tells Keagan that when they finally get away from the base they’re stuck at he should visit her at her home which is literally a giant house floating between two mountain peaks (yes this is actually based off my 76 camp which sits between the mountain peaks it fucking rocks). Some time passes and Keagan is slowly getting controlling and abusive, and Becca who can’t just go outside and gorge on bodies like she used to, is starting to slip into extreme irritation and aggression, and despite what she was told and what her and Keagan should not have been able to accomplish, she was in fact pregnant, and it was beginning to show. They get into a massive argument, her hunger and emotions finally at their limits, and the fight gets physical. Keagan doesn’t notice at first but the normal humans in the room start to get ill, and then they start to melt. Suddenly Becca’s bones are glowing blue under her skin, her eyes going black with glowing blue dots, and a thick blue mist fills the room coming from her. The Geiger counters are going so crazy they aren’t even clicking, just a constant high pitched scream. Keagan begins to do the same, glowing red and trying to fight her back, but Becca easily overwhelms him, and after a huge blast from her palm he flees. The radiation dies down and her body droops, but it’s taken its toll, more of her is burned and melting. Having killed everyone in the base by radiation alone, tired and hungry she eats them, and trudges home. Her friends came to check on her, surprised to find out she’s pregnant, even more surprised to find out that she is more pregnant then she should be and that they have got to find someone very fast to come help with the delivery, which is now made more complicated because when she is too emotional or under duress she starts to just emit large amounts of radiation. After some talking they decide her brother, a hazmat suit, and a shit ton of Rad-X and rad away would have to do, but until then they’re just gonna keep doing what they have been. When the day finally did come, quite early, her house was a glowing blue beacon on the mountain while her brother fought through countless waves of radiation to deliver Becca’s baby safely. And that is how Ezra, who only ever calls herself Vex, came to be. It wasn’t hard to guess that she shared the same abilities as her parents, not being at all bothered by the mass amounts of rads around her, the already faint burn scar across the side of her face and emitting a faint green glow in her lil bones. Becca was worried at first since she knew strong emotions would trigger Vexs abilities, but Vex was surprisingly a very calm baby, and was comfortable to be bundled up in Becca’s heavily armored backpack when they traveled. A few months passed and Vex was surrounded by people who loved her, she was a bright and happy baby, maybe she would have been a bright and happy person, if Becca did not seriously fuck up.

During a particularly intense battle with some scorch beasts, Becca felt the safest thing to do was hide Vex somewhere until the battle had ended, she checked on her in her backpack, gave her a little kiss on the head, zipped her up, and tossed her in a trash can. That was the last time Becca ever saw Vex, who was snatched away by raiders while the fight was happening. Becca would not see Vex until hundreds of years later outside of Nuka World, standing over her grave, and once at a glance before then. Though their paths overlapped often and they heard of each other, they never knew their relation to each other because Vex had stopped going by Ezra.

She spent the rest of her years in Appalachia searching for Vex, and even reached a breakthrough with her brother and was able to phase out her cannibalistic urges and stop her mind from going feral. The only time she caught a glimpse of Vex was when she had raided a Blood Eagle camp to rescue one of her friends (who had been captured years ago and was taking care of Vex and raising her) and through the lens of her gas mask she caught a glimpse of a kid with snow white hair and glowing green eyes with a burn across her face, but never again did she see her. When Becca finally left, she traveled north as far as she could, saying the cold felt very good on her body and slowed the radiation down from completely melting her body away. She spent many years in radiated winters running her little farm and helping some locals. She would later come to find out that extreme cold slowed her body down enough that she could actually heal some of the burns just a bit (almost like if she sat in cryo for a couple years her body could like, heal itself, wonder if that comes into play at all).

One day Becca wakes up in vault 111 with weird memories of a pre war life and family and nothing else. Her mother was at it again with a new found passion and like every other person with power in the fallout universe she was put into a computer and is determined to get Becca under her thumb, but she also has NO IDEA Vex exists. Her hope was that if they could erase Becca’s memories and give her new ones then maybe she would bend more easily to their ideals, but while altering her memories they noticed a strong maternal… something in her brain that was unwavering and would not go away, so rather then trying to remove it they just replaced it with shaun, who was informed of everything and knew the whole time (my personal take on why he seems so detached from your character anyways) and was trying to help Becca’s mother control her.

So Becca wakes up in vault 111, finds a mirror, freaks the fuck out because her body has almost entirely put itself back together after half of it was practically falling off and her jaw was starting to expose, and now she looks normal with some slight scarring. She can’t point out why but she is freaked out. She ALSO has her metal teeth still, she cant regrow her teeth, why they left them there she never learns. So at this point she goes out to try to figure her life out and why she feels so off. Her mutations are gone having been healed away while in cryo, she has nothing.

And it is at this point that she really just turns into a wanderer for a bit. In terms of FO4 story she’s not actually that involved, I just ran with what I could. I can tell you her powers were inspired by Oswald in Kiddie Kingdom at Nuka World (I also paid someone to get me a mod of his eyes dyed blue so I could really bring her to life lmao) and that I know her powers are kind of a push and that obviously these things weren’t actually happening, I just wanted to mess around. Anyway, around let’s say, few years post FO4 main story, she’s got her powers back, she’s got her memories back she got her beloved scorch crystal plugs for her ears back in, she’s back to traveling and looking for Vex (if it’s not obvious by this point Becca doesn’t age normally, she looks somewhere in her 20s-early 30s she just agrees with whatever number people throw at her, so she’s going off the assumption that Vex is the same way and also because she’s been hearing about her) but first she gets sidelined by Keagan, who is back and a bigger douchebag then ever. He wants a rematch, saying if he wins then she has to stay with him, telling her that he was specifically made to be her mate even if they can’t have kids (he says it in a funny way, like he’s not really sure, he assumes the baby died during birth or their last fight from radiation) and continues to go on this rant about how he was made by her dad using his friend and his friends wife’s DNA and they might share a liiiiiiittle bit from her dad but what does it matter, to which she’s like hm hope Vex is doing well (she’s not) and that he wants her back at his side where she belongs. Becca, who at this point is aro ace anyway she doesn’t really care, is like you can eat my entire ass, and after some squabbling and several days of travel, they have their showdown in Ohio, which was so intense it turned almost the entirety of Ohio into a massive uninhabitable zone of radiation and craters, with Becca emerging from the blue radiated haze glowing, covered in blood, and holding Keagan’s head. After giving it a good kick into some bushes, she heads back to Boston and chill in cryo for a few more years because the fight just about killed her. When she does finally come out many many years later (not fully healed but enough that she doesn’t really care, she also takes a bunch of notes and starts working to make a home with her own cryo pod in it so she doesn’t have to keep coming back to the vault and hopefully can return to Appalachia one day) she hears about this crazy bitch in Nuka World who glows green and emits radiation and has been a major pain for the common wealth when she does decide to show her face. 2 days before Becca decides to set off to Nuka World, she sees a massive green explosion over the mountains in that direction, and is overcome with a pit of anxiety in her stomach. When she arrives, the raiders tell her that explosion was in fact Vex self destructing her body in order to protect her nephew from something that attacked them.

And so the story goes into my own personal thing from there, from her perspective at least, but for the most part she find out Vex has two nieces and a nephew from a family that adopted her and Becca decides to stay and help them for a few years before setting off back to Appalachia where she remains for mostly the rest of her life, occasionally getting a wild hair up her ass and traveling to go say hi to old friends who are still around. In the end Becca was just a rebellious kid who wanted freedom in a life that was constantly trying to chain her down, all she wanted was to see her daughter and know that she was ok and doing good after making a huge mistake, only to find out that her daughter was actually really shitty and did a lot of fucked up stuff but tried to do the right thing in her final moments to protect her family. So she just keeps moving forward taking it day by day.

VEX

Vex is a character that all of my friends love and I love her too but I fucking hate her because she’s awful because I made her that way because I wanted to. I love her.

She had a great start to life, surrounded by love and a mother who didn’t know what the fuck she was doing but was trying very hard and loved her very much and didn’t grow up with parents so she didn’t exactly have anyone to tell her how to take care of a baby, especially not a radiated one. When Vex was taken by the Blood Eagles they had crammed so many chems in her that her powers essentially when dormant and other then not being very effected by radiation, she was pretty human for a while. By all accounts though, Vexs abilities were way beyond that of Keagan and Becca’s, the ways she was able to work with her radiation were almost supernatural and inhuman. So you can imagine when one day a large camp of Children of Atom are all hanging out and this white hair rad resistant little girl walks on in like it’s nothing, that’s like Jesus walking into church and having a seat in the congregation. Except no one knew it was him. They had no idea of her powers because they were dormant, but they saw the way radiation moved around her and the way it swirled and would come to pin points and lines and of course they all just start to freak out. So Vex spends a few years with the COA until she’s uuuhhh an adult, let’s just say 19 yeah, and she goes off to do her own thing, not really taking their beliefs but their knowledge with her. She ends up in a small town on the edge of a giant radiated crater (essentially like the edge of the glowing sea but even bigger) and decides to hang around and do some work. Her teeth also start to fall out and what does she decide? She would be so badass with a pair of sharp metal teeth (I really wanted a like mother like daughter moment with that, on her gravestone they put her teeth in it and Becca laughs about it), so she gets that done while she’s there. And suddenly she starts having these urges. The urge to eat people. Her powers may be dormant but it’s still slowly taking its toll on her mind and body. One day 2 families roll into town with a ton of life saving medical knowledge and they decide they’re going to stay and help they town out for a year or two, and they decide to adopt Vex. She loves her new family and once again it really seems like she’s on the right path to a happy chill life, until they suddenly have to leave, and the night they did Vex had been going for a walk and finally snapped and killed and ate someone and got caught. When she got home she found a hidden note from her sister saying they were in danger and had to flee and that she was taking a huge risk leaving something behind to let her know where they were going but that she didn’t want to lose her and it was worth the risk. The family had no idea about Vexs crimes having fled before anyone came to tell them. Vex was thrown in jail and sentenced to death, but in this down how they did the death penalty for particularly bad people was they lined them up all chained together and sent them into the crater to die slowly by radiation. Vex didn’t fight it and went in willingly, making crude jokes the whole time but not saying that it basically wouldn’t do anything to her, and her tiny self trudged along in with three other giant dudes and they walked and walked until one died, and then the other and finally the last one. At that point Vex shrugged and figured there was no one around to judge her for it and just slowly at them over the next few days and then continued to walk through the crater until she found another group of COA and hung out with them. Thanks to the crater being even more irradiated then most places and the amount of time that had past since her kidnapping with the blood eagles, all of the radiation basically supercharged her and reawakened her abilities, and thanks to her time with the COA she almost immediately had a fine turned grip on how to use it in ways Becca and Keagan never considered possible. After a few months she slowly walked back into the town and leveled it before heading to new Vegas (yeah I am pulling all of these together what about it)

The only thing she did was go to the sierra madre while she was out there. Because she was stuck there for many many years. She went from this powerhouse who couldn’t be stopped by anything and was practically immortal to a collared dog and the red fog ate up her radiation no matter how hard she tried to use it. When she did eventually reach the point where she could just leave it behind she couldn’t let go. Not because of the gold or anything of importance there, but because it was the first time in her life she was actually terrified and felt mortal. She didn’t know how to handle it, so she lived there until she finally got the nerve to push through the fear. By that point she assumed that anyone who would have held a grudge against her was already dead and gone or too old to do anything so she headed back and on her way she heard about this woman with abilities like hers but she glowed blue, and of a man who did the same but was red. She shrugged and kept going. She Rand back into her sister who had married the boy who was her best friend and son of the family who came into town with them and they had 3 kids together, Kris, Clarke and Asher. Vex didn’t hang around for long and instead would constantly come and go for long or short periods at a time until eventually they landed in Boston and she ran off and became overboss of Nuka World. But because she was so infrequent with her time there, they would put someone else in charge short term while she was away. Eventually her sister died and Vex buried her on her private island that she found while exploring, away from where anyone would disturb the remains and sat there in grief for a few days before running off and doing whatever the fuck she wanted for realsies because now she does have to worry if her sister will hear about it. She proceeded to have 2 kids with random men that she kept on that island in secret but they were well taken care of and eventually came home one day and they were gone she accepted that pretty quickly because she was well aware she was a shit person and a worse mother beyond being able provide food shelter water and protection. Her kids, Nix and Gavin, do not have powers but are pretty hardy and aren’t affected by rads or poisons or diseases and such. They both go off and do their own thing, both eventually coming to nuka world after hearing about Vexs death giving everyone especially Becca a massive heart attack because how on earth did that bitch have kids and no one knew.

While she was overboss her nieces and nephew arrived at her door begging for help after the death of their parents and finally finding Vex and clearly having been through some shit. You could say this was the start of an attempted redemption arc for her, she did care about them a lot and prioritized their safety and started personally training Asher saying that if there was a way then her powers would be his someday, citing something she learned from the children of atom. And when she died he did indeed get a fraction of her power, and unfortunately he also got her voice in his head and she talks to him sometimes but he decides it’s best not to tell anyone about it.

There’s a lot more that goes into her and other characters but at that point we’re taking an already hard to keep within what could be considered possible and REALLY pushing it into more fallout inspired territory which this is already enough of, so I’m not going to get into it also I’ve been writing this for like a few hours at this point lmao so for now we just get Vex and Becca and their complicated backstories that I still adjust here and there sometimes. This is stupidly long and I know the dates of things are all over, I used to have like accurate dates for things but I’ve also been chipping away at these characters since I got the game years ago so. I know it’s a lot, I know it’s not entirely lore accurate to the fallout universe, I know it’s really off the rails, but these are my babies and I love them a lot lol. Thank you for coming to my long ass oc talk and thank you for asking me to talk about them lmao.

Have Becca at the start of her fight with Keagan when he says he found out about Vex and was going to take her

[heartbeetz]

I should interact with / talk to my mutuals more. You're all swag I'm just not good at socializing with people I'm not already close to. If you ever wanna say things at me you are allowed 👍♡

[ourceliumnetwork]

people?? being niceys to me???? for no reason except loves me?????????????

it's more likely than i think, apparently.

[inklingofadream]

(Looks at the whumptober update posts) ... gods save us

(This is /positive. I live in fear but I'm ready to eat it all up)

some of those words are probably gonna vanish bc i changed my mind and they're headed for the scrap folder, but also I haven't typed up the fic I wrote last night and the VAST majority of those words are here to stay. I anticipate a couple fics getting MUCH longer in the edit bc getting to the end was required to get the juices flowing.

Getting this ask made me super happy, so additionally: one of the finished fics is a 7k MONSTER of a Georgie-centric cult au au. TMA is the dominant fandom (story of my life fr) but there are also fics for Malevolent, Batman, and [redacted bc i think having it show up w/out context is funnier]. They range in length from the Georgie fic's 7k down to about 300 word shorts. I was vaguing about another fic being longest bc I forgot Georgie, but that one's only 4kish. But it'll be longer when it goes up probably, I remembered a BUNCH typing it up that sleeby brain dropped