#send me more asks or @ me on posts and other stuff
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Give me more platonic affection.
Give me omega timeline residents approaching Asgores because they give the best hugs.
Give me Ink, learning about physical affection by observing people, having Blue explain the different ways people hold hands. Him tackling Top and Aster to the ground trying to figure out how hugs go.
Give me Dream who only cries when someone’s hugging him because it’s the only time he feels shielded enough to break.
Give me Nightmare and Error, who after years of working together, finally end their deals with a handshake.
Give me Blueberror who’s off button is any kind of physical affection.
Give me Core Frisk, still a child, clinging to people’s hands, holding a larger hand in both of theirs.
Givr me Nightmare falling asleep on a movie night and the rest of the gang can’t move because his tendrils lay on top of them like sleeping cats.
Give me Blue forcing his two semi-immortal friends into cuddle piles so they actually sleep for once.
Give me Fresh showing trust by letting people hold his head, so close to the eyesockets that hold his true form.
Give me Error and Geno readjusting to touch after the emptiness of their containments, telling the other that they’re there by knocking knees.
Give me Frisks in the omega timeline offering a shoulder to lean on for Charas, or anyone who asks.
Give me Underfell where the skelebros curl up around eachother to watch the other’s back, even in sleep.
Give me Outertales where handholding is common to make sure no one floats off into space.
Give me Gasters who use their many hands to give head pats to their sons/coworkers (Sans, Papyrus, and Alphys) as well as doing science work stuff.
Give me Nightmare who curls his tendrils on top of his subordinate’s heads like a strange pat on the back.
Give me Horror who will simply pick his teammates up and hold them like the wet cats they are.
Give me Cross who’s so unused to any physical affection he freezes up, and Killer using this to his advantage by grabbing his hand to distract him from the cow nearby or to get him to stop training for a bit.
Give me Nightmare laying a tendril over Dream’s shoulder to remind himself that his twin is there, and they aren’t fighting anymore.
Give me Dusts that will curl up on top of people like a cat.
Give me Inks who give surprise hugs to his friends.
Give me Errors who wrap his strings around people to give them hugs.
Give me Horror Papyrus becoming the center of hug piles in Nightmare’s gang because the boys miss their brothers a lot, and he’s the closest they’ll get with the gang’s reputation.
Give me Killer, just met Nightmare, and the baby goop clings to him while they explore the multiverse.
Give me Ink and Error pulling eachother along by the scarfs.
Give me Dancetale where duo dances end with a hug (or high five if too sweaty for a hug)
Give me Fell Papyrus holding Fell Sans’s hand out and about, using the excuse of making sure Sans doesn’t wander off when asked.
Give me post-truce spontaneous skeleton cuddle piles.
Give me Killer randomly tackling his teammates.
Give me Ink being so physically affectionate people think he’s flirting (he’s not).
Give me Papyrus calling Sans a cat while he curls up on his shoulder.
Give me Sans holding Geno’s hand carefully when things get a bit too much after his time of the Save Screen.
Give me careful fingers tracing the edges of Papyrus’s rarely-seen hands.
Give me Dust trying, and failing, to touch his Papyrus.
Give me Passive Nightmare’s ghost curling up around Dream’s shoulders like a purple boa, hugging him around the neck when things get rough.
Give me the gang curling up on Nightmare’s tendrils when he’s not paying attention.
Give me Dream learning about the different meanings behind touch after he breaks out of stone.
Give me Gaster’s who are almost too scared to embrace Sans and Papyrus incase getting out of the void was a dream, and Papyrus accidentally sending him to the floor with his enthusiastic hug.
Give me Undyines randomly carrying their Alphys around.
Give me Frisks who press their forehead onto people (Sans’s back, Papyrus’s thigh, Toriel and Asgore’s arm, Alphy’s side, Undyne hip) and lean on them.
Give me Frisks who randomly lean on people, almost falling over because Chara is a ghost and incapable of being my leaned on.
Give me Dust laying his head on Killer’s lap when Killer gets twitchy, because what’s he gonna do, move Dust?
Give me Error who’s glitching feels kinda like a massage, holding his hands to Nightmare’s back, Horror’s skull, or Geno’s wherever when they get pain.
Give me Ink who uses hand holding like a recalibration test after he goes blank.
Give me hand holding and head pats and hugs and cuddle piles.
Givemegivemegivemegivemegivemegiveme
#My rambles#utmv#omega timeline#star sanses#nightmares gang#underfell#outertale#dancetale#Undertale#ink sans#ink UTMV#underswap sans#undertop gaster#zephyrtale gaster#dream sans#dream utmv#nightmare sans#nightmare utmv#passive nightmare#error sans#error utmv#blueberror#fresh sans#geno sans#dadster#dadmare#horrortale sans#killer sans#dust sans#cross sans
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with everything going on, i think i’m going to put a real effort into being active here again aside from just posting my art and disappearing lol. other platforms are generally unsafe now, and while i do have plans to continue posting despite it all, i remember that my art really took off here on tumblr.
that being said…
if you see this, how are you doing today? :) feel free to reply or send an ask, let me know how you’re doing and what kind of artwork/oc stuff you’d like to see more of?
oh! also, you can come join my discord server too if you’d like!
#random#update#i miss when i was really active on tumblr honestly like. doing ask games? doing sketch games?? those were the days
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HELLO 😍I absolutely love the clown stand post! Can you do the same for Bucciarati gang as well?
I’M SO GLAD YOU LOVED IT! Thank you @stretch-time for the idea <3 Also I sincerely apologize for the extremely late reply, I have been so busy! Requests are currently turned off until I complete the other asks I have in my inbox <3
(Stand side notes: it’s small in size but not as small as the sex pistols, stand abilities: cartoon physics type of stuff, you’ll understand what I mean when you read)
Bucci gang with a goth reader who has a cute clown stand
(La Squadra version here)
Giorno Giovanna
Giorno’s calm, serious demeanor doesn’t waver when he sees your clown stand for the first time. He’s trained himself not to judge a stand by appearances, but even he is taken aback by the sight of a bright, cheerful clown at your side. Giorno quickly assesses the potential of your stand, wondering what abilities could possibly match such a strange look.
He tests it by sending Golden Experience to strike. However, your clown pulls out a massive mirror, reflecting the punch back toward Golden Experience. Giorno’s eyes widen, and he steps back, reassessing his approach. The clown smirks, pulls out an oversized bucket, and dumps a seemingly endless stream of banana peels onto the ground, causing Golden Experience to slip and stumble.
Every time Giorno tries to counter, the clown anticipates it, pulling out ridiculous objects that disrupt his strategy: an anvil to block his punches, a giant mallet to deflect attacks, and even a cartoon bomb that sends Golden Experience flying back when it goes off. Giorno begins to respect your stand’s unique power, realizing that while it looks innocent, it’s a master of psychological warfare—each item it pulls out makes him question what absurd attack might come next. With a small, impressed smile, he finally says, “I underestimated you.”
Bruno Bucciarati
Bucciarati remains polite, even respectful, when he meets you. But his brows raise when he sees your cheerful, colorful clown stand. It doesn’t align at all with your goth aesthetic, which only makes him more curious. “Interesting choice,” he says, in a tone that’s equal parts admiration and confusion.
During your sparring session, Bucciarati sends Sticky Fingers in with a zipper punch, expecting a quick victory. However, your clown smirks, pulling out a giant hand mirror, which Sticky Fingers punches instead, causing the zipper to close around Bruno’s own fist. He watches, surprised, as your clown quickly sets up an obstacle course of oversized props: a giant spinning top that Sticky Fingers has to dodge, a pie that ends up splatting on Bucciarati’s face, and even a door that leads him in circles.
Despite this, Bruno begins to chuckle, realizing your stand’s playful nature is a surprisingly effective strategy. At one point, he zips through the air to get the upper hand, but your clown pulls out a huge net like a cartoon hunter, snaring him mid-zip and dropping him to the ground. Bucciarati finally laughs, wiping pie from his face. “You know, I expected a serious fight, but this is a refreshing change.”
Narancia Ghirga
Narancia takes one look at your clown stand and bursts out laughing, doubling over as he tries to catch his breath. “What is that? It’s adorable!” he snickers, clearly underestimating the threat. But his laughter quickly turns to surprise when your clown pulls out a toy slingshot and launches a rubber chicken at his face. The slap from the chicken’s beak leaves him blinking in shock as he wipes his nose, muttering, “Did that thing just hit me?”
Enraged, he summons Aerosmith, sending it diving toward the clown. But your stand pulls out an enormous balloon, which Aerosmith crashes into, its tiny propeller spinning uselessly against the inflated surface. Narancia’s jaw drops as the clown cheerfully waves at him before producing an enormous spray bottle labeled “Bug Repellent” and dousing Aerosmith with it, sending the miniature plane spiraling out of control.
Frustrated, Narancia shouts, “Alright, now you’ve done it!” But every move he makes is thwarted by the clown, who starts producing absurd obstacles for Aerosmith to dodge: fake trees, tunnels, even cartoonishly large bubbles that trap his stand inside for a few seconds. By the end, Narancia is out of breath and flustered, but even he has to admit, “Okay, that was kinda cool…but you better not tell anyone I said that!”
Leone Abbacchio
Abbacchio’s first reaction to your clown stand is a deadpan stare. He’s entirely unimpressed. “You’re kidding me, right?” he mutters, crossing his arms as he sizes up both you and your stand. He half-heartedly summons Moody Blues, not expecting much from a cutesy clown stand.
But the clown immediately bounces into action, producing a giant pair of glasses and plopping them onto Moody Blues’s face, temporarily blocking its vision. Abbacchio tries to remove them, but the clown has already pulled out an enormous pair of handcuffs and snapped them onto Moody Blues’s wrists, binding it in place. His eyes narrow, annoyed that his stand has been bested by something so ridiculous.
Growing more irritated, Abbacchio commands Moody Blues to break free, but the clown whips out a bucket of quick-drying cement, dumping it over the cuffs. Abbacchio watches, slack-jawed, as Moody Blues struggles, the cement hardening around its wrists, temporarily immobilizing it. When he finally frees his stand, he mutters a string of curses under his breath, annoyed but impressed by your clown’s effectiveness. “I’m not saying I respect it, but…fine. You win this round.”
Guido Mista
Mista laughs heartily the moment he sees your clown stand, nudging his Sex Pistols to join in. “A clown? That’s hilarious!” he says, grinning. But as soon as he gives the order to attack, the clown whips out a toy gun, pointing it at Mista with a mischievous glint in its eye. The Sex Pistols cheer, thinking it’s a joke, until the clown fires rubber bullets at them, each one sending a Pistol ricocheting off in surprise.
Annoyed, Mista sends more bullets your way, only for the clown to deflect each one with oversized comedy props: an umbrella that spins bullets back, a massive rubber glove that bats them away, and even a mirror that sends them flying back toward Mista. “Hey! That’s cheating!” he shouts, but the clown merely shrugs, honking its nose in response.
Frustrated, Mista tries to outsmart the clown, but each time he tries a new strategy, your stand counters with something even more absurd. Finally, the clown pulls out a comically large magnet, attracting all of Mista’s bullets and forcing him to back down. He’s left scratching his head, baffled. “Alright, I admit it. You got me. But that thing is still creepy in a weird way…”
Pannacotta Fugo
Fugo’s analytical mind is immediately confused by your clown stand. “A clown? Is this some kind of joke?” he sneers, his impatience clear as he activates Purple Haze. He expects the battle to be quick, underestimating your stand entirely. But before Purple Haze can make its move, your clown snaps its fingers and produces an oversized gas mask, strapping it onto its face with a smug grin.
Purple Haze’s virus-filled fists swing toward the clown, only to be deflected by an enormous rubber mallet that sends it staggering back. Enraged, Fugo watches as the clown starts hurling ridiculous items at Purple Haze: pies filled with an anti-viral cream, a giant magnifying glass that shrinks Purple Haze’s hand momentarily, and even a huge eraser that somehow removes patches of Purple Haze’s virus fog temporarily.
Fugo’s patience wears thin as he tries to keep up with your clown’s unpredictable tactics. Each time he thinks he’s cornered it, the clown produces another cartoonish item to counter his moves. By the end, Fugo is seething, his face red with frustration. “I don’t understand how that thing works!” he snaps. You simply smirk, watching him struggle to make sense of your clown’s absurd yet effective abilities.
There it is! I hope the long wait was worth it, if you’d like anything specific added or anything changed you can always message me and I’ll fix it!
If you have anything specific you’d like me to write for any jjba character/squad parts 1-7 you can request it if my requests are open!
#jjba scenarios#jjba scenario#jjba#jojos bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#jjba vento aureo#vento aureo#jjba golden wind#golden wind#bruno bucciarati#bucciarati x reader#giorno giovanna#giorno x reader#narancia ghirga#narancia x reader#leone abbacchio#abbacchio x reader#guido mista#mista x reader#pannacotta fugo#fugo x reader#bucci gang x reader
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Mine. - Jeremy Swayman
Summary: Jeremy comes over to beg for your forgiveness, and things quickly take a turn... but not for the worst.
Word count: 3.3k (its short ik im sorry)
WARNINGS: Daddy kink, dirty talk, unprotected sex, bad writing??? idk this is porn OKAY READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. pls dont read if you're under 18 thank u!!
Note: i wrote this awhile ago for goalie week and then a bunch of stuff happened and i kept forgetting to post it bc i started my first full time job a month ago and its kicking my BUTT. anyways thanks for reading :)
You could hear your phone going off from across the room. It was Friday night and the end of a very long work week. Your boss was driving you up the wall and your personal life didn’t seem to be going much better. Your friends were good, you just didn’t get to see them as often as you wanted due to just being adults and everyone having their own full time jobs.
The one person who was supposed to make your life easier, better even, was the one currently blowing up your phone. You knew exactly who it was, but he deserved to sit there and stew for a while. But as you looked around your apartment while trying to decide what show to numb your mind with, you noticed things of his strewn everywhere. You didn’t live together, not yet anyway, but based on the amount of things you had at each others’ places, you may as well have.
Your work involved working with many different clients, and making their dreams come true. You were a travel agent, and your boss didn't exactly adhere to the typical 9-5 schedule like a normal job. If you were awake, she expected you to be able to take care of the problem.
You had already decided long ago that men didn’t always think with their brains. Jeremy was jealous, but of what you had no idea. Did you have a lot of clients who were men who wanted to surprise the lady in their lives? Yes. Did those scumbags also try and make a move on you sometimes? Also yes. But you were a professional, and always conducted yourself as such. As much as you wanted to, it wasn’t your job to fix someone else’s insecurities. You could tell Jeremy that he didn’t need to be jealous until you were blue in the face, but you didn’t know when he was going to get it. You weren’t broken up, but you’d told him you needed a minute for him to calm down. It had been a few days at that point, and you couldn’t deny you were also getting antsy. He may be a stupid guy sometimes, but he was yours.
After what had to be the millionth time of your phone going off with a DING of a text, you made yourself get up off the couch. The last message you had read:
Sway❤️: I know I’m stupid. I need you to know I’m sorry. Can I see you, please?
After the stressful week you’d had, you wanted nothing more than to feel his familiar warmth around you. The moment he was near you it was like the noise around you calmed down to its lowest level.
Y/N: I’m at home, you know where to find me.
Sway❤️: I’m on my way, be there in 20. I love you.
The next twenty minutes were going to kill you. Your apartment was already cleaned, because you liked to clean when you got anxious as mess only made you more anxious. Your doorman would recognize Jeremy and send him up when he arrived, so you didn’t need to even get up to let him in. He had his key, he knew exactly where to find you.
After an eternity, at least what felt like one, you heard the familiar sound of a key in the lock. He quietly took off his shoes by the door, and locked it behind him.
“Babe?” He called out, already walking toward the living room where you sat.
“I’m in here!” You called back. Relief washed over you when you saw him, but you didn’t get up and go to him. He had to earn you back the way you deserved.
“Where should I start?” He asked, sitting down in a chair only a few feet away from you.
“How about how you shouldn’t act jealous of my stupid clients? Or any man that I’m ever with that isn’t you? Do you really think I’m that crappy of a person that I would EVER cheat on you?”
“I know I shouldn’t, I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t do that because you’re the best person I’ve ever known, but-“
“BUT WHAT JEREMY?” You screamed, and you know it came out louder and meaner than you wanted it to. He recoiled a little bit but didn’t lose his energy.
“I’m stupid. I’m a stupid guy, who knows you are way out of my league. It sounds like a dumb excuse, but I’m so scared of losing you. I want you, I want to love you, I want to be with you for the rest of my life. But you’ve seen the league, you’ve seen what this life can do to relationships and what it turns people into. I don’t want anything bad to happen to us. I know this isn’t the life you signed on for. I think about you being at home alone and I hate it.” He looked defeated and like he meant every word he’d said.
“You can’t lose something you already have.” You wanted to close the space between you so badly.
“You still want to be with me?” You got up and walked to the kitchen as he asked, putting away the wine you’d gotten out so it wouldn’t spoil. He followed closely, less than a few steps away. One giant step and he’d be able to close that space.
“I wouldn’t have told you to come if I didn’t. You just needed to listen, and you weren’t hearing me. You don’t have to be jealous of anyone, that isn’t who I am.”
“I hear you loud and clear now. And I’m not jealous, you’re just mine.” The tone in his voice shifted to another one you recognized.
“I’m yours huh?” You said it like you were challenging him because it sounded like he thought he already won. He should be fighting for you and showing you what that means.
“Do you need a reminder?” He closed the space, so his forehead rested against yours. You could feel his hot breath on your face, breathing in time with you. Without warning, you pressed your lips against his with a new hunger behind you. You’d missed this heat between you, the raw need to have each other right in that moment.
His hands explored your body, finding their way to your ass and lifting you up onto the counter. It was cold against your legs, the shorts you had on weren’t very long and you felt every inch of cold countertop but you didn’t care. His lips left yours with a moan and began making their way down your neck. You could feel how wet you were already getting, responding to his touch so quickly. You reached for the hem of his shirt and motioned for him to take it off. He complied in earnest, his mouth immediately returning to you.
Lifting your shirt up and over your head, your breasts became exposed for him to devour. He licked around your nipple, biting it and chasing you to arch off the counter while letting out a scream. Your nails were digging into every spot on him that he could reach. Momentarily he kissed your mouth again, bringing his still covered cock against your center. You could feel it hard against you, the friction only giving you the slightest relief.
“Please daddy, please I need-“ You tried not to beg but the torture was killing you.
“Tell me you’re mine and I’ll give you exactly what you want. Tell daddy who you belong to princess.” He whispered in your ear, continuing to kiss around your neck in the spot he knew you liked.
“YOURS. I’M YOURS!” You needed relief or you were going to go insane.
“Now was that so hard baby?” He asked. You didn’t even have the time or energy to reply as he pulled off your shorts in one big motion.
“No underwear? Even better.” You attempted to push his head toward your swollen clit, but he wouldn’t go faster than he wanted to. He kissed and bit your thighs, leaving marks where he knew no one could see. You’d have those marks there for weeks. Each kiss he got closer until you finally felt his tongue brush against your clit. You shivered as he began to devour you, your thighs clenching around his head not wanting him to escape.
He pulled back but only for a moment, instructing you to lick the fingers he was putting in front of your face. You did as he asked, and he resumed going after your pussy. In a new move, he inserted his fingers into you as he continued eating. His tongue was licking in time with his fingers as they pumped in and out of you. He was hitting a spot in you that you didn’t even know was there.
“Holy shit don’t stop, don’t stop PLEASE.” You were writhing on top of the counter as he struggled to hold you in place. He knew you were so close to your high, edging you just along that fine line. You’re burning up and he knows it. His other hand reaches up and pinches your nipple before grabbing onto your breasts like they were his lifeline.
You cursed him silently for having hair you couldn’t grab onto, but you pressed his head as if it could go further into you. His tongue quickened its pace, matching his fingers. You could feel your orgasm building and it was right there, all you needed to do was let go.
“Let go baby girl, cum on my face for me..” He whispered against your clit, and what came out of yours was a series of expletives that you didn’t care to understand. He could taste everything you were giving him, not stopping as you started to come down. Every nerve ending was on overdrive and he held you down against the counter. The wave of your orgasm rolled over you, your heart pounding in your chest. He didn’t let a single drop of you miss his mouth, and you saw his smile looking up at you as you tried to catch your breath.
He stood up without breaking eye contact, and undid his own pants. He made sure all remaining clothes of yours were off, nibbling on your ears and down your neck as he did so. In a move of complete trust, he picked you up off of the counter and carried you down to where he knew your room was. His lips found yours again and suddenly your lungs were struggling for air but you didn’t care. Your arms were hooked around his neck as he walked, kissing him like your life depended on it.
Setting you down on the bed, he laid you down on your back, and stood back to marvel at the sight of you.
“You look… “ his brain was struggling to find the right word, “fucking stunning.”
“And you have too many clothes on… sir.” You put yourself up on your elbows, looking down at his boxers that for some reason, had remained on. You didn’t need to let him finish what he was going to say, you needed him to do something more than speak.
“Sir?” He raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to you.
“Did you like that?” You knew he did but it was your way of teasing. His mouth was on yours before you could process his next movements, placing one hand to your side to balance himself and the other knotted in your hair, pulling your head back so you were looking up at him when he pulled apart. You didn’t even realize that his boxers were already off, as you felt his cock brush against your leg and pussy.
His hand left your hair and explored your leg, getting closer to its destination. His face was so close you could feel his hot breath on your face and his fingers glided over your folds, but so lightly it sent a shiver up your spine. You could hardly catch your breath but you were dying for him to touch you, to fuck you until you couldn’t remember your own name. You wanted him to hear you. His hand remained on your pussy, his fingers becoming soaked.
“So fucking wet for me baby.. did you miss me?” He quickened his fingers and began pumping them inside you. The feeling of his fingers wasn’t enough, you needed more and a whine-like moan escaped you. You whispered a response to him, and it spurred him on.
“Please Jeremy please, please I need you inside me..”
“That’s not my fucking name, not in here. In here I own you, isn't that right princess? Do you want me to be gentle?” You nod no, but that isn’t enough for him.
“Use your words princess.”
“No.”
“No, what?”
“Don’t be gentle!” You tried pushing his head towards your core again, but he remained looking at you with his fingers teasing you. He added another, stretching you from the inside. You gasped and scratched your nails up his back.
You gasp again, as you feel him part you with two fingers and put his tongue against you again. He wasn’t done tasting you yet.
“Please baby, I need your cock. Please!” Your mouth couldn’t move fast enough and you didn’t even care that he had reduced you to a begging mess beneath him. Your hips wanted to grind, needing more friction. You could feel your release building again as he sucks on your clit. It was right there, you could feel it as you clawed at your sheets trying to grab onto something but there was nothing.
Your legs spasmed around his head as your release flooded over you and he ate you once again.
“So fucking wet for me, you’re so stunning baby girl.” He kissed his way up your body and aligned himself with your entrance. He isn’t gentle as he slams into you as he kisses your mouth like you’re the only thing keeping him alive.
You’re left begging for air as his head drops down, ducking your nipple into his mouth.
“Oh god, oh fuck..” you cry out as he wasn’t holding back. He slammed into you over and over, bringing his hand up to find your clit. As he fucked you he was playing with your clit again, causing your wetness to pool onto the bed. Every single nerve you had was on fire, and only he could put it out.
“Tell me you need it, tell me how bad you want you want my cum.” The hand not on your clit slowly moves up your body to the bottom of your throat and locking his hand around it. Not putting too much pressure, but enough to lightly choke you. Both of your hands gripped his arm as you felt his cock filling you and his thighs slapping against yours. His speed was increasing and so was the hunger in his eyes.
“Oh fuck, fuck daddy please I need your cum I need you so bad..!”
“You are mine, your orgasms are mine, everything about you is mine.” Without warning he withdrew from you, earning a desperate moan. Quickly he flipped you over into your stomach, pulling your hips back so you were on your hands and knees facing away from him with your ass in the air waving him in like an invitation.
“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He whispers into your ear from behind you. He places kisses on the spot in your neck he knows drives you crazy, running his cock along your folds at the same time. He pushes into you again and holds back nothing. Jeremy grips both of your hips with his hands and brings your hips back to meet each one of his thrusts. The sound of his thighs hitting your ass echoes throughout the room, reaching spots inside you that you didn’t know he could.
You couldn’t hold yourself up anymore, you collapsed into the bed as he fucked into you.
“So fucking tight princess, this pussy was made for me.” His nails scratch down your back eliciting a loud string of moans. His thrusts become more erratic and he brings his hand up, then down to smack your ass as hard as he could. The scream you made encouraged him more, and you could feel a third orgasm building.
“Fuck daddy, please I’m right there I need to cum daddy please..” You didn’t know how he had gotten that many out of you, but you could already tell he was determined for more.
“That’s it baby, cum for me, cum all over my cock..” He brought his hand around as he leaned into you to tease your clit some more. You were right there, you pushed back to meet his thrusts to get yourself over the hill and the relief washed over you. You moaned out his name, begging for him to fuck you harder and faster.
He loved seeing his length go in and out of you, taking all of him so well. Spreading your legs to give him a better angle, his cock continued hitting that spot inside you. He slaps your ass again, and again. You cry out, knowing his release was close behind. His hands wrap in your hair and pull you back, making you arch towards him.
“Fuck yes baby, you like it when I fuck you like this? You ready for my cum?” He chases his release just as badly as you want it from him, feeling him trying to reach his high. You nodded in response to him, not being able to form any more words. The only sounds coming from you were moans of encouragement, it felt like you could be on cloud nine.
“FUCK!” He screamed as he pulled almost all the way out, slamming back in and releasing his load into you. Jeremy almost collapsed onto you, but he brought you into his arms as he pulled out of you as his cum slowly leaked back out. You knew he thought it was the hottest thing ever. Both trying to catch your breath and come back down to earth, he pulled you in once you laid down so that you were on his chest. You could hear his heartbeat going a million miles a minute inside his chest, but it brought you a sense of calm. Your person was back where he belonged, he had finally heard you.
“I love you.” He finally spoke but he still sounded out of breath.
“I love you too.”
“No, you don’t understand. I love you, I really love you. THIS is what I want. This body, your perfect fucking curves. Every minute of every hour of every day, I want you. Not just your body, I want all of you. I’m sorry I was so stupid. I can’t promise you that I won’t make stupid choices sometimes, but I can promise to be better for you every day.”
“Jer-“ You attempted to stop him, you knew he was it too.
“Please let me finish. I want to make you feel good, I want to be the person you want to come home to every day, I want to be the person who pushes you to be the best version of yourself and make you feel like the queen of the world. You’re it for me, there is no one else. I’ve spent my whole life doubting myself and chasing this dream I couldn’t even describe. But I can see it so clearly now, and I know that dream is you. And I want to be able to have forever with you, if you’ll have me.” You took a moment to absorb his words.
“You have to make me a promise okay?” His eyes gleamed at you, like you were holding up the moon just for him.
“Anything, you name it.”
“Promise me forever. There is no past anymore, there is only us and the future we make together. I want us to help each other be better. Okay?”
“Okay. How about we start forever now?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
#nhl#hockey#danielle writes#fluff#angst#smut#jeremy swayman#boston bruins#boston bruins fic#jeremy swayman fic#jeremy swayman smut#jeremy swayman fluff#jeremy swayman x reader#jeremy swayman imagine#nhl writing#nhl imagine
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ok this is a deeply deeply weird manifesto and i'm sorry but i feel suddenly very burdened to say it so. if you felt like we were friends and i unfollowed you, this is for you. (don't be scared this is not about problems with anyone this is just my mess. that I think is ok to have which is why I'm talking about it)
so I joined tumblr in 2020 when a) the world was isolated b) I had just moved to a new city and was living alone taking Zoom classes in my apartment. what started as a mindless distraction became such a lifeline of connection and friendship! and still such a support as things started to open back up and get busier in 2021, when I was teaching and in class in person but still struggling for close in-person friendships. I know the group dynamic on here has shifted a number of times, as some of you probably experienced from various vantage points. my use of tumblr has shifted too, on and off, as I've needed different things out of it and been in different spiritual and emotional states. and I've kind of come to realize that I probably threw myself in too eagerly in some ways. it was so exciting to have actual friends on here and for them to actually turn into friends in person, that honestly I maybe prized that dynamic too much for what it symbolized over actually valuing the people. I'm sorry for doing that.
anyway, that worked fine for a bit, but as (glory be to God) I've become much more plugged into my in-person community in the last couple years, I've felt more and more emotionally strained. I've taken up a new attitude towards my family that's much more in line with God, but also much more draining as it means I have to just pour out in prayer and love and wait with patient sorrow over some things rather than fighting and defending my perspective as always right and necessary; and then there's the church-related grief my family has gone through over the last year. I've had a very delicate and difficult friendship that pulled up a lot of unresolved stuff from a college situation and felt endlessly wearying at times. I've had another issue from college recur in a way I thought had been healthily resolved years ago. I've had this whole roommate marriage situation that as y'all know is a very weird trial and pressure. My church has been dealing with a strange and tough ongoing struggle that was already stressing me out before I started working there. My small group has been amazing and I've loved connecting with and relying on them more, but that connection also means more fully bearing the griefs of a lot of different people dealing with the different struggles of life. My advisor situation has been so weird and tough, making my academic work really hard, and then this recent church work has been fulfilling but physically and often mentally exhausting. My future location, work, and community is up in the air after a few years of stability. (I really didn't mean to make this a recitation of my woes, but honestly it's really helpful to see it all written out here; helps explain my deep deep exhaustion, I guess.)
If I ever followed you on tumblr, I love you. In a number of different ways. I feel fondness at the thought of you and at your presence; I want to know you more fully; I desire the good for you; and I find my well-being to be, at least a little bit, tied up with yours. That last one is the rub. As I'm sorting through all the callings and duties in my life, trying to identify what counts as changing my tires versus what wears my tires out, I've found that my tumblr dashboard can switch back and forth very unpredictably between one thing and the other. Often it's a delight to come on here and find my friends and the cool things we're showing each other and the joys and sorrows and goofy moments of our lives! But at other times, when what I desperately need is an escape and rest and humor to provide solace from in-person cares, I find myself pricked all over again by the sorrow of the world and the stress of sin--or even just irritated by stuff I find irrelevant or disagree with or don't want to be reminded of.
To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's doing anything wrong on here. The opposite; I love the freedom y'all have to seek out what helps you, whether that's a lot of facts and ideas or a lot of goofy content or recipes or weird TV or music or venting about life or seeking prayer or advice! We all have the freedom and responsibility to determine how to use the tools we have to aid us in pursuing the good, whether the good is a quick laugh or building up virtue. But I think for me, at this point in my life, my duty and calling has swung back towards my in-person connections in a variety of ways, and I have to honor that.
The lie of infinity that the internet offers is just that--a lie. for me, that lie right now is being laid bare in my inability to have infinite care for everyone whose path I cross. I could follow everyone on here whom I'm endeared to, could keep messaging and replying and building relationships, but it would be a lie to think I can offer that love and care to everyone I would like to. In-person friendships are limited by physical proximity and time; online friendships can't be unlimited either. I need to apologize for acting as though they could be, and committing myself beyond my limits; but also, my life has really changed, and I'm not going to be caught either by the lie that online is only worthwhile if it's permanent.
I want to be clear that I value the connections I've had with you. I've loved exchanging mail and phone calls, messaging fun things back and forth, being online at the same time or learning about your day after the fact. Please know, also, that I have gone to war in prayer for you, and I continue to do so. I wish that I knew how to love widely without feeling pulled apart and worn down, by difference and sorrow and sin (mine and yours). I hope God is sanctifying me toward that end. But right now I'm fairly convinced I need to honor my calling to in-person friendships; I need to protect my mind and heart from even little pricks and distractions, so that I can keep my desires in order and use my energy for prayer and Scripture and to do good work and love the people God's made my physical neighbors. I really do love you, and I wish we had infinite time to talk and think together. I'm so excited to be with y'all in heaven forever. And who knows--maybe my life will shift yet again (it's looking likely) and I'll have a ton of spare energy and love and will come sheepishly back looking to connect with you again. We'll see. You deserve love and attention and connection, in person and online, and I'm sorry that--at least as it feels to me--I held out the promise of giving you that and then had to withdraw it.
so. there's all that. My dash is super quiet these days, thwarting my dopamine search but pushing me towards texting friends, towards meditating more fully on Scripture, towards praying over my work and burdens. I hope you can understand and maybe even be glad that, God willing, this is how I'm able and needing to work for the kingdom right now. love you love you
#wow! that was crazy!!!! at least this is the neurotic overthinking website#so i hope you can not neurotically overthink what you did to make me unfollow you. and instead rest in our mutual finitude#the other day i had the experience of clarifying with a friend that i'm her best friend but she's not mine. in almost so many words.#(she asked who i'm closest to and i named a couple people here and away. then i asked her and she named a couple people and me)#she got teary but didn't have an anxiety meltdown which is huge progress for her! and we kind of acknowledged the difficulty and moved on#and kept hanging out and texting and loving each other#super weird experience but kind of like a lightning bolt of realizing things i've been intending for a while#we have to give each other the dignity of making choices even when the choices aren't each other. on a social level#we have a higher calling! all of us do! it sucks when the social stuff gets weird but we shouldn't let the weirdness distract from the call#and frankly once you start choosing the call over the world then the world's structures stop being at all compelling#for a neutral tool tumblr can be quite amazingly powerful for the Lord#but it is of the world and runs on some lies and i've hit a breaking point where i needed to confront those lies before i kept going#anyway. the point is. I LOVE YOU. and God has told me I have more urgent loves right now.#what an insane post to be making !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh wait edit to add! just to be clear i'm not trying to say don't message/reply/send stuff to me!#if i have to set a boundary i will but things are fine. just needing to reduce the dashboard noise#i highly recommend setting online boundaries btw. it's so much easier than stewing and stressing and wondering if blocking is justified#to just message someone and say ''hey you're doing nothing wrong but this way of interacting bugs me so please stop''#(which i've done only to followers never to people i follow. yet.)
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I was thinking how people from different Londons smell different to another person (like Kell smelling like flowers or Lila smelling like smoke) and I think if you ever meet me in person I would probably smell like rotten eggs or fireworks because of the sulfur coming out of the geysers lmao
#Tweety.txt#nah not really lol but early in the morning the smell of sulfur is strong and you can smell it from kmeters#anyway!!! I wrote this to say I'll post a short fic soon#two short fics actually (one is kellila. the other is a tlh ship)#and I'm outlining another au fic where lila owns a bar and more stuff I hope I can write#you can also make writing requests or send me asks. my askbox is open#adsom
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do you have a favorite bit of motogp gossip that you either want to know is it’s true, or you just enjoy as a stand alone piece, no need for further investigation?
one of those where I initially stared at and like. lost all motogp knowledge in my brain. and then stuff did come back to me. this is all very much low hanging fruit and I'll add to it when I remember more interesting/quirky ones. BUT here are some things I want to know:
y'know how casey randomly suggests in his autobiography that valentino was sabotaged in the 2006 title decider? so, personally, I don't really buy this, because 'why' and also 'casey girl you are SO paranoid' - though, sure, if given the option I'd like to double check if valentino had a dud tyre (completely plausible) and also if somebody really deliberately gave him one (?? casey idk about this one). but what I'm REALLY curious about is... there's a change in his autobiography?? like I've seen this book excerpt float around online and the text is different from what's in my book!! mine's from the paperback version so I assume there may have been some edits for that, so that would make it the newer version... but like. this is a real editorial change. check this out:
version posted on the internet, from the hard cover edition???
version in my book, first paragraph is the same
But as soon as the lights went out Valentino was in trouble. I was one of six riders to pass him on the first lap and if you watch the footage you can see how much he is struggling to even keep up with us. His rear and front tyres were just not working together and on lap five the front inexplicably folded and he went down, right behind me. I couldn't help but wonder how he could be having such problems with his tyres. Could he really have been stitched up? It seemed so improbable, but I remember watching that race back in the motorhome that evening and thinking, Welcome to my world, mate.
this isn't 'gossip' because I haven't found anyone else who has spotted this, but like? that's a substantive change? if my one really is the newer one? ...?
let's set aside the fascinating insight you get into casey's knotty and at times bizarre valentino rossi complex with him adding the line "welcome to my world, mate" (oh my god. please just take him to dinner. I will crowd fund this I literally just need to be able to listen in. casey come on CALL him I NEED you to do the dinner thing, YOU suggested it not me). like we're not going to even touch that. but if my version really is the updated one, then he's kinda softened his stance, no?? "convinced he was stitched up" to "could he really have been stitched up"
what happened?? who wanted this change? casey? an editor? did dorna give casey a call? did some poor bloke from pr have to politely ask whether casey could please not state in his autobiography that the most popular rider ever had had a title stolen from him by the establishment?
(casey was talking about valentino's stolen tenth BEFORE it was popular. he did it even before valentino did, bless)
"there are a lot of commercial interests in the sport" also didn't make the jump to the 'new version', mind you. did Big America get to casey
come on you guys have to admit this is an odd change?? does nobody else thing this is weird??
okay fine moving on
Did Valentino Literally Curse Sete
(like. not literally as in did he curse curse sete, literally as in did he say it)
(though if he did literally literally curse curse sete, I suppose I'd also like to know that bit)
the commentators in 2003 brno say so and I'm inclined to believe them, but I need to double check whether sete and valentino really were partying on ibiza together right after that very painful valentino loss at the sachsenring. such a fascinating little detail, that's not something post-2004 valentino does I reckon
I mean, look, obviously a bunch of things from that time period I want to have fact checked. including valentino's friend hearing sete say in late 2003 that valentino wasn't going to be smiling so much after joining yamaha. classic bit of gossip, did it actually happen though
I've referenced this a few times before, but y'know how valentino said that marc's manager alzamora told him after sepang 2015 that marc had been angry at valentino for killing his title charge? I just want. to know. if this conversation actually happened. I don't think valentino would pluck a lie like that out of thin air, especially something so specific about somebody on marc's team, and he has known alzamora for decades but like. maybe almazora just said something valentino misinterpreted? I just find this such a bonkers thing from alzamora if it's true that I would like it confirmed for my own sanity, you know?
yeah look I would like to know if marc really did get casey kicked out of honda, obviously I've discussed this before and it's very he said she said but yeah it'd be fun to know the truth
this is literally peak gossip because I can't find a source for it but I swear a journalist did say it: the rumour is that marc blocked joan mir from joining honda in 2019. like, I'm only including this because I was explicitly asked for gossip as I just cannot find where it was said... but it is something that is. out there. and... again, just curious. like I buy it, but also it could be bullshit!
on a similar note, did he ever make clear to honda he didn't want either vinales or rinsy on his team circa 2016? was it just a vibe in the paddock or was this an actual demand from marc?
speaking of!! the whole thing about alzamora basically rigging the moto3 teammate situation between rinsy and alex marquez to ensure the latter won the title that year. what was that all about, how far did they go there
switching to valentino now. this doesn't quite fit the remit of the question because it IS something I've investigated. and my conclusion is basically a big *shrug*
did valentino block casey from joining yamaha in either 2005 or 2006, and did he attempt to block jorge?
there are completely contradictory sources on the timeline here that do make me feel like there's a chance yamaha was just fucking with casey at the very least in 2006 and valentino had fuck all to do with it, which a recent interview from casey did actually hint at too... he made it sound like maybe yamaha was just using him to try to drive down the price of another rider (which would then presumably be jorge)
I just want to know! and the thing is, it was a matter of open paddock discussion that valentino blocked casey (jorge explicitly references it in in 2007), but something doesn't quite add up between what jorge, casey, colin edwards, articles from the time and lin jarvis have said on the subject! my current pet theory is that valentino blocked casey in 2005 from joining the satellite yamaha team in 2006 (weirdly casey doesn't really imply valentino was responsible for this one in his autobiography, but whatever) but NOT in 2006 (casey does imply valentino was responsible here, you see my problem). and yamaha was fucking around with all four of valentino, casey, jorge and edwards in late 2006/2007. but. yeah. I have unanswered questions
the entire 'alex marquez blocked from yamaha' situation.... again. something is off there. you know the story from late last year about how he was blocked in 2019 from joining the petronas team in 2021? this completely threw me, because there was an entirely different story about this YEARS back in 2018!! I initially assumed the two stories were about the same event, but it can't have been! one's him being blocked in 2019 for 2021, one's him being blocked in 2018 for 2019
from the descriptions of both there's also no confusing them. the 2018 story has to be about the 2018 contract cycle because that's quite literally when it was published, and the 2023 story has to be about the 2019 contract cycle because it explicitly references the space fabio would create by moving to the factory team for 2021, which obviously wouldn't make sense before fabio's actual rookie season. like they have to be about different stories
and in that same 2018 story, marc said that back in 2016 lin jarvis told him no marquez would be joining yamaha:
again, this was in 2018!!
plus, he did say back in 2016 that he'd spoken to jarvis, which kinda backs up this is a conversation that did happen and marc isn't just misremembering the timeline/lying (the notion of marc joining yamaha in 2017 is fantastic, what an absolutely horrendous idea):
now what marc says in 2018 about his conversation with lin jarvis is very similar to petronas yamaha boss razali saying in 2023 that he'd been told by yamaha no marquez was allowed at yamaha. suggests that this is a thing that did happen!!
but again... razali was told that in 2019... after marc had already been told the same thing three years before that, and the exact same deal had already been blocked one year earlier... does nobody else think this is weird?? like, I'm not saying yamaha hq covered themselves in glory here, but is it not a little strange the satellite yamaha squad had basically almost signed a contract with the younger marquez again without checking in with yamaha, just ONE YEAR after this same contract had already been blocked???
again this isn't actually gossip because I'm apparently the only person going ?? about this but I'll say it: ??
kinda been annoying me since december last year, like I know it doesn't matter but I'm just curious about it! why's nobody else talking about the 2018 story!
idk my best guess here is that petronas yamaha was faffing about and playing weird games with the factory team, that the deal was never as likely to happen as they made it sound to the marquez camp. zero proof, that's me spreading rumours yeah... time to create some of my own unfounded gossip
(also of course I'm curious if valentino did have any actual involvement in this. like if lin jarvis was telling marc this in the year of our lord 2016, I'm assuming valentino didn't have to explicitly say to jarvis that 'inviting marc to the team for 2017' wasn't exactly high on his christmas wish list. it is interesting that marc frames it as jarvis making this about. like. all the marquez's way back in 2016, and again, would this really have been on valentino's radar at the time? that feels a bit...? alex marquez was thirteenth in that moto2 season? would certainly be very... thorough for valentino to already have had that particular talk with jarvis)
(mind u there's a fun moment in a 2019 presser where valentino is sitting between the two marquez brothers and the younger marquez is being asked about his contract situation, the implication being he'd had a motogp deal and no longer had a motogp deal. and he's answering and marc's doing his freak stare and valentino is Right There sitting between them... I <3 mess)
man did valentino actually ever fucking block anyone from joining his manufacturer #notmygoat. I still think he didn't know about jorge until the deal was basically done, had nothing to do with the younger marquez, at most blocked casey the one time but then yamaha wasn't actually seriously intending on signing casey in 2006 and was just using it as a play in their jorge negotiations, which.... idk. bit disappointing if true icl. I hope he blocked someone, I'll say it
(also. okay. I don't want to sound awful here because I do have a lot of sympathy for baby!casey but. ignoring the morality for a second, I do LOVE the idea that valentino blocked casey from getting a satellite yamaha seat fresh off his 250cc runner up season because it would conclusively prove valentino did ABSOLUTELY rate casey!! like he didn't even want casey to come close to being his teammate!! not even a sniff at his data!!) (genuinely this is the rumour I'm choosing to believe, I know there's a chance valentino didn't successfully block anyone and was just a complete flop but I want the 2005 one to be true. it really adds something to the rivalry idk... like ugh valentino saw how dangerous casey was proper early when much of the paddock wasn't yet convinced... cute)
moving on
there was a rumour in 2015 that valentino approached dani after aragon to complain about how sturdy his defence was, like moaning about denying him points and shit. now, there's exactly one article about this in marca that is the sole origin point for the rumour, and it says that valentino also interrupted a honda party after phillip island to complain to marc. this does not match up at all with anything either marc or valentino have said since then - and would mean you have to believe that marc wasn't actually blindsided by that presser... also feels a bit unlikely we would have heard NOTHING from any other source if vale was really gatecrashing a honda party
of course, neither dani nor valentino have spoken about this supposed post-aragon 2015 meeting either, not even when dani was kinda accusing valentino of hypocrisy during sepang 2015, but I suppose you could say maybe dani's just not the type of guy to bring it up again. however.... I do reckon occam's razor kinda applies here and if one of these stories is bullshit then they probably both are, plus it's not like marca is exactly a neutral source. still would love to be certain!! instinctively I don't really think that's valentino's style at all, but of course it'd be intriguing if the story were true because it'd be a sign of how 2015 kinda messed with him. but I still feel 2015 is more about him falling back on past tools he'd mostly discarded - rather than, like, acting wildly out of character, which again... well, this brings us back to how that kind of behaviour isn't really valentino's style. basically, I don't buy it, but that's kinda why I am so curious about it? because I feel like it would be really interesting and quirky if he had actually done that. does this make any sense
speaking of, again this doesn't really count because I did kinda investigate it last year.... but you know when valentino in that podcast referenced a conversation with marc around the time of sepang 2015, where marc stared blankly at him? I have a hunch about when that conversation happened, want to know if it's right. this also isn't really 'gossip' because this is a conversation I'm having with myself but
y'know when bez was injured on the ranch late-ish last year? a bunch of journalists pointed out how hush hush they were about what actually happened to bez - like they repeatedly drew attention to that because god knows THEY love some gossip lol. which probably means nothing, but I'm curious what the journalists' theory here is, like do they think it was an embarrassing injury?? OR. look. I suppose the conspiracy theory would be that pecco caused it (obviously accidentally!!) and everyone at the ranch knew it'd be a terrible look if they admitted that because of the whole title fight situation. call me casey stoner because those dots are not real and definitely have not been connected
okay, you know how there were rumours in the spanish tabloids bez said some real ugly stuff to marc at valencia last year, and bez didn't directly address it but freaked a little and did a sort of blanket denial that he'd said anything that bad? I don't actually think he did tbh, but again. would just like to check!
while we're already on bez, there was one report that the switch to aprilia was partly motivated by marc to factory ducati. again, not entirely sure I buy that this would factor into his thinking beyond the obvious 'this means the route to that factory ducati seat looks even more closed than it already did' angle'.... it's very much down my list of priorities but I'd quickly confirm/deny it if given the chance yeah
that's all for now lol
#these all feel INCREDIBLY boring but i'm stuck 2/3 of the way through a bunch of different asks and this was fast and fun so#anon i will return to this when i think of more interesting ones. my brain gave up on me. these are all so basic bleh#man i'm gonna miss lin i swear he was always up to some shit#i see u buddy. i know u were flat out lying to colin edwards for like. half a year. i see u#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#“welcome to my world mate” caseyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#every day i wake up and think about Her (all the things casey wants to tell valentino but has never gotten the chance to)#like he canonically factually actually wants valentino to know what casey's pov on that rivalry was... doesn't that make you CRAZY#he doesn't want to interrogate valentino he wants to confess to him... he wants valentino to Understand... makes me ill#u know it's also like... because valentino literally has said Nothing substantive about that rivalry since mid 2013#has casey like... noticed? I'm sure he doesn't WANT valentino to keep insulting him but idk it's kind of a bit. hm#like if you ARE looking for closure and YOU are still talking about it a lot but the other guy is just. Not. would that bother you?#idk!! maybe it really is completely a confessional impulse for him. casey constantly wanting to get his story out there#and not really caring what valentino contributes. that he's stopped contributing at all. orrrrr WOULD he like valentino to *respond*#does he want confirmation valentino is even seeing this stuff!! sending it out into the ether and waiting for the echo gahhhhh#what was this post about again#THE FUNDAMENTAL ALIENATION OF FEELING UNSEEN BY YOUR FOIL WHO SHOULD UNDERSTAND YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE#alien tag
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btw like, if we are mutuals or even just been following me for a while, you can literally always ask me to promo something. like donation posts or commission sheets, even your art or writing or something, i’d be so so so down to reblog it! i know this blog has a relatively large following for the gt fandom, and i’d love to use that for good !
#even if you’re nervous to ask pls. u can just send me the post if u wanna#i realized i dont reblog a ton of stuff and i wanna do that more. i wanna hype others up more#ive finally accepted that im something of a fixture in this community. and i will b using that for good#also dw ill probably wind up tagging and queueing promos so it wont be a sudden flood on my blog#but uh yeah. let me hype up ur stuff. pls 🥺 you deserve it
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ugh. some thoughts.
really been trying to find the joy in drawing/writing again and honestly it's been such a challenge. friends have told me it's most likely depression that's making it hard to feel motivated and tbh they're probably right.
hoping to get back into being creative in the way I Want to be at some point tho. I miss it. there's still so much with my stories and characters that I haven't been able to share or explain and I wish I knew how without it feeling like this daunting, impossible task.
I don't know when I'll get around to actually sharing art again (or writing, if ever). was hoping that I'd manage to get some of my mental and physical issues in check recently for just long enough to get back into the swing of being creative, but that hasn't seemed to work. everything feels bad, both artistically and physically. I'm struggling to keep up with the frantic pace at which my brain comes up with story concepts and intriguing character interactions, even tho everything in me wishes I could turn it into tangible artistic expression so I can get it out of my head and share it. it used to be easy. I don't know why it's not now.
I'm just . tired, I guess.
#spectre says#text post#negative#vent post#delete later#sorry#i probably shouldn't post this idk#tbh i know i've said this a million times but. even if i'm struggling to draw or whatever#i'm still open for asks. i want so badly to talk about my characters and the things i've been unable to explain through art#but i can't get my own thoughts together enough to know where to start with that in like. just a random post#and asks would be a great way for me to actually focus on one concept at a time based on whatever you guys are curious about#but i hate sounding like i'm begging for attention/interaction i just. genuinely don't know if anyone is interested otherwise#and if you guys do want to know more you HAVE to tell me directly#because vague forms of engagement are difficult for me to comprehend or read between the lines of#i can't read minds obviously ><;;#i know ask culture has changed a lot over the years tho and a lot of ppl don't like sending them out of being shy or whatever#which i understand#it's kind of an awkward form of engagement that no other site really has#so no pressure i'm just letting you know that I won't know if any of you guys are interested in learning more about my stuff#if i'm not told directly is all#anyway. tangent aside#its just been rough mentally my dudes. hopefully things clear up at some point and i won't feel so dead all the time#and actually have the mental clarity to continue drawing/writing like i used to again;;; God willing;;
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Nobody: Me (npd haver) when I see a post specifically about NPD: OMGGG ME FR!!!!!
#like#bestie#YOU FUCKING WONDER WHY YOU RELATE TO THAT???#anywaysss#if you see this post PLEASEEE SEND ME ASKS ABOUT MYSELF#Im bored and want to talk about myself#garlic breath#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#actually narcissistic#cluster b#actually cluster b#actually npd#npd safe#this just in i am a total fucking dumbass#i want to @ two of my friends on this post so bad but i wont#publicly#their dms still exist >:3#also i mighttt start posting about my mental health stuff more instead of the sideblog#(other than one specific mental illness you do not get to know about <3)#youre only dreaming
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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finally found a place to read With the Light online and i'm thrilled; if you haven't read this manga i do Legitimately recommend it
#N posts stuff#like don't get it wrong it Is Not a series about being autistic it Is a series about raising an autistic kid#but also don't be put off by that because it's legitimately a series that I feel Loves autistic people with its whole being#it's kind of a teaching manga so it showcases a lot of different opinions/characters/conflicts/etc. but the Framing is very consistent#in that the manga is Extremely of the opinion that autistic people are People who deserve to be Valued and Accepted As They Are#the onus for change is never put on autistic individuals the framing is basically Universal in the 'the World needs to change#to be more accepting' -- it's a very Social Model depiction of autism that ALSO never veers too far into the#'autism isn't even Really a disability' fallacy; it's very much a 'A lot of autistic people will need constant support in a variety of ways#throughout their lives but that isn't the roadblock preventing them from having their own lives; ableism in society is the roadblock'#the first two chapters are the hardest to get through bc they take place before Sachiko has any real understanding of autism and#so she's isolated and stressed out and the ignorance makes it difficult for her to care for Hikaru properly (there's also a lot of#other characters Blaming her for what's going on which goes unchallenged at this point though that changes later); but after she#understands what autism is she's Firmly in Hikaru's corner for the rest of the series - you can skip right to ch 3 without a problem#if you're not interested in reading about that initial conflict#there's still a Lot of conflict ofc but by then the chapters have some of my favorite moments so i don't want to advocate skipping#them; like Hikaru's daycare teacher explaining how Hikaru's difficulty speaking is the same as other kids' troubles with#things like jump-roping/etc.; and then a mother who has An Issue with Hikaru's presence in her daughter's class realizing the#depth of the problematic opinion bc Her mother (who had a stroke) faces similar ableism from her peers#i'm cutting this post off b4 the tags get Too long but if you're curious but still hesitant man. send me an ask and i will Happily#write an insanely long essay about how much i love this series; i have all the books i'm not excited about the online availability#for Me i'm excited bc i've been wanting to rec this manga for like almost a full decade and i can finally give you a link instead of#saying 'well. you can find used copies sometimes' lol
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BEAST's time line not adding up is one of the major factors to why in my head currently beast sskk are in their twenties and adopted 5 cats in a quiet little cottage on the outskirts of Yokohama
Yeah this is the only valid take tbh
#Beast sskk mean so much to me. You don't get it guys. I'm literally always thinking about them and their happily married couple life#Beast sskk is like sugar in coffee. Also like the best thing ever#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd beast#people asks me stuff#Beast sskk are married and living together!! No you don't get it I know them personally#Tbh. I should really post that one post on how post Beast canon sskk works out for me#The five cats thing is so cute tho#Nnnghhh please talk to me more about Beast sskk. Look to me I'm starving#Back to the matter at hand tho like... Beast Akutagawa is v v immature but so is canon Akutagawa.#That's why I can perfectly see Beast Akutagawa being as old or even older.#On the other hand Beast Atsushi feels so much more mature compared to canon Atsushi in a way I struggle to believe he's any younger than 20#I'd say the Beast dilemma keeps me awake at night but that's not true I sleep soundly at night and dream of Beast sskk kissing#Sending kisses to you Anon (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡
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grown ass woman and you didn't even know Rhodesia? Please pray some Paradox Interactive games like eu4 or hoi4. look it up. Please this is depressing if even weird smart girls don't know basic history
hey guys. get a load of this fucking moron.
#mad i'm not your red scare coquette who knows about rhodesia huh. your weird smart girl manic pixie dream girl fantasy#i'm a high school dropout from rural fucking new hampshire in the US you useless fucking piece of shit.#like unfortunately you caught me in a worse mood than usual but get so fucking close right now. get so fucking close#girls who look up countries and terms they havent heard of before to understand posts >>>>> girls who know about rhodesia and send this ask#ooooh i wouldn't be this pissed off if you hadn't called me a weird smart girl like you're trying to pretend you respect me but waow#god fucking forbid i admit what i don't know and that i looked stuff up to learn. which i did on purpose.#because plenty of other people don't know stuff and are afraid to admit that they look stuff up to learn.#and i prefer to be someone that others are comfortable around. who makes other people feel more comfortable being imperfect#that's too much for you i guess.#shouldn't even respond to anons like this but i really want to get some strong hatred for you manifesting#everyone who reads this think really hard about anon dying in a fire#or just stepping on a lot of legos if you're a gentler soul#replies
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oc designs i will be tweaking entirely be upon ye
four of the main ensemble and there's still more to go, these guys take up a lot of my brain's bandwidth
bex tries to explain the lore under the cut bc this post is kinda on the long side ? idk
so this story takes place on a rather isolated mining planetoid named Melien, under the jurisdiction of an offworld company, Unilacht Co. Excavation Division, hailing from a planet inhabited by sentient robots called mechala. Due to [circumstances kept vague to uninformed personnel], this branch of Unilacht operations has also been tasked with the mission to build a substantial army--using whatever means necessary.
However, the reclusiveness and secrecy of the Unilacht Co. Excavation Division's overseers has frustrated a good amount of their personnel. Currently a substantial number of their mechanicized soldiers and personnel have joined a rebellion effort started by the former Unilachti Command Administrator (who has since been recaptured, but the movement continues in his absence).
Enceladus, Maltrion, and Meo were all part of the same defection cohort (joined the rebellion at the same time). Virion joined them a bit later under some interesting circumstances. All of them are not fond of the Unilacht for vastly different reasons, but all have their own deeply personal reasons to resist the rule of the Unilacht.
ok now im motivated to do a lot more drawing/stuff with these guys while i revamp the plot for the 45th time be prepared for more oc shenanigans *looks at smudged ink on wrist* all 5 people who voted on the poll. appreciate you :thumbsup:
#NOT transformers ocs#they're for my own project#i did take inspo from tranformers and i love it but this group of ocs are not part of it#ill share my tf ocs one day i just need to redesign them bc i didn't know how to draw robots back then#project name TRaToR#oc tag#they're all gonna change designwise and these arent all of my guys#still working on more designs#but yeah out of all of them im still not satisfied with enceladus#if you know me on other places you'll probably see the updated design elsewhere first#did most of the polished refs for artfight just to burn out halfway through after doing 4 drawings#feel free to send asks and stuff about them i'd love to ramble about them#bex OC posting#i got more art i will post eventually#but writing this has been kinda motivating even if like 3 people are gonna see this#bex draws
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◆
— fin.
alrighty, i will be cuddling the shit out of a certain dragon after this but before that, a small bonus (read: silly doodles) because we all need therapy after all that (or at least i do) -
1:
2:
"i had a nightmare."
"but i just went to buy milk-"
/silly
3:
we both have separation anxiety now so that's that 👍🏻
#rin plays ebg#'ebg afterparty' event#ok for REAL this time things are going to return to normal lol#i hope the ebg event was enjoyable for you as it was for me hehe#i loved every second of it#altho i was in pain™️ at the same time hskfjskjdlsjdlsfj#thank you for sending all the asks and rbs and creating entire POSTS for this event#thank you for your patience and encouragements for my noob art🙈#thank you for going along with my silly whims#thank you thank you thank you thank you <3#i can't express how grateful i am to have such a supportive and amazing community and friends. it still feels so unreal to me#if you missed the event i'll post a little masterlist latr so you can go through all the post. i mean i doubt anyone would be interested bu#it's more for me myself to go back and reread the asks bc man. that was so much fun. the most fun i had in a while tbh#literally the whole time of this event i nearly neglected genshin (and work but we dont speak about that-) HAHAHAHAH#gimme a bit to do the theme changes and such!! <3#i did not expect to get soo invested. i just wanted to make a mini au thingy for the ebg and.... and somehow..... this happened.........#i'll be reblogging some stuff from other people which are related the ebg too for the next few hours lol-#feel free to tag me if you want me to see anything you made!!#should i...... post the 'alternate ending' sketch....... HMMMMM...... it's so roughly drawn tho shdlfjskljdfk#rin selfships#zhongrin
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