#season 25 week 6

[daminouspurity]

Buffalo Bills vs. New York Jets | 2024 NFL Season Week 6 | Predictions Madden NFL 25

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[endbeginning]

we dont need to talk about it

[500-moths-in-a-trenchcoat]

i'm expecting a tiktok exodus since this seems to be the bomb shelter of the internet. have another update/repost. NOW WITH HIGHLIGHTED MAJOR HOLIDAYS!

IT JUST HAPPENS

DAY 15 GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

Thursday the 20th

The Fifth of Wednesday

Second Week of May: Eurovision

Sometime in June: That One Halloween Post Starts Circulating

Sometime in July: Dancing Pumpkin Man Video/Gif

First Monday In September: Todaybor Day Is Labor Day

WEEKLY EVENTS (at least the ones i celebrate)

Every Monday: Garfield Hates Mondays

Every Tuesday: Tuck Him In Tuesday

Every Wednesday: It Is Wednesday My Dudes

Every Thursday: Out of Touch Thursday

Every Friday: Thank Gnome It's Friday

Every Saturday: Caturday

Every Sunday: Energy Sword Sunday

YEARLY EVENTS

January 1: Copyright Expiration Day

January 2: New Years, New Tears

January 8: Spiders Georg Day

January 16: Appreciate a Dragon Day

January 18: Bug Race

January 29: Threshold Day

All of February: Funguary

ALSO All of February: Femslash February

February 3: WOE, VANILLA EXTRACT BE UPON YE

February 8: King Taejong Fell Off His Horse

February 13: Galentines Day

February 14: Aromantic/Asexual Day

February 15: Annoy Squidward Day

February 18: Perserverance Rover's Birthday

March 9: Miku Day

March 10: Mario Day

March 14: Pi Day

March 15: Ides of March

March 23: Ever Given Got Stuck Today

April 1: Mishapocalypse

ALSO April 1: Staff Does Something Fun On The Dashboard

April 2: Dashcon Announcement Anniversary

April 3: Dannypocalypse

April 5: First Contact Day

April 8: Rex Manning Day

ALSO April 8: MARGARET THATCHER IS DEAD

April 13: Neil Banging Out The Tunes

ALSO April 13: Homestuck Day

April 19: Some Roman Made Bread Today

April 20: haha 420 blaze it

April 24: Josh Fight

April 25: The Perfect Date

April 28: Ed Balls Day

April 29: 94 Meetings Day

April 30: It's Gonna Be May

All of May: Mermay

May 3: Beginning of Dracula Daily

May 4: May the 4th Be With You

May 5: Revenge of the Fifth

May 6: Revenge Of The Sixth

May 7: World Language Day

May 25: The Glorious 25th of May

ALSO May 25: Towel Day

All of June: Pride Month

ALSO All of June: IT'S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

June 5: Barricade Day

ALSO June 5: RONALD REAGAN IS DEAD

June 12: Another Homestuck Day

June 16: Let Papyrus Say Fuck

June 22: Summerween

June 23: FUCK This Post And Happy Birthday Sonic

All of July: Disability Pride Month

July 11-13: Dashcon Anniversary

July 20: Moon Landing

August 5: Curiosity Rover's Birthday

August 30: Frankenstein Day

September 8: The Queen Is Dead and Sans Undertale Killed Her

September 11: Mole Interest Monday

September 19: Talk Like A Pirate Day

September 21: DO YOU REMEMBER-

All of October: SKELETON WAR

ALSO All of October: People Draw A Lot Month? (so many names)

October 3: Mean Girls Day

ALSO October 3: Fullmetal Alchemist Day

October 13: Treat Yo' Self

October 18: None Pizza Left Beef

October 20: Unnecessary Feelings Day

October 25: Homestuck Day The Third??

October 31: HALLOWEEN

November 5: Destiel Nevada Putin Elec'tion Covid Way

ALSO November 5: Doc Brown Invents Time Travel

November 19: Goncharov

November 29: HENRY KISSINGER IS DEAD

All of December: Will the Gävle Goat Get Destroyed Again?

ALSO All of December: WHY WEREN'T YOU AT ELF PRACTICE

ALSO All of December: Season's Greason's

December 4: Deny Defend Depose Day

December 10: Please, It's Christmas

December 12: Hawaii Part 2

December 23: Christmas Adam

ALSO December 23: Festivus

December 24: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS

ALSO December 24: Cabinet Man Day

December 25: happy chrismum

December 27: Porn Ban Effective Today

[covid-safer-hotties]

Also preserved on our archive

By Anthony Robledo

The side effects of newly discovered COVID-19 strain XEC might not be as severe, but is part of the more contagious variant class, experts say.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) defines XEC as recombinant or hybrid of the strains KS.1.1 and KP.3.3., both from the Omicron family that became the predominant strain in the U.S. late December 2022.

The variant, which first appeared in Berlin in late June, has increasingly seen hundreds of cases in Germany, France, Denmark and Netherlands, according to a report by Australia-based data integration specialist Mike Honey.

XEC has also been reported in at least 25 U.S. states though there could be more as genetic testing is not done on every positive test, RTI International epidemiologist Joëlla W. Adams said.

"We often use what happens in Europe as a good indication of what might happen here," Adams told USA TODAY Friday. "Whenever we're entering into a season where we have multiple viruses occurring at the same time, like we're entering into flu season, that obviously complicates things."

What is the XEC variant? New COVID strain XEC is a recombinant strain of two variants in the Omicron family: KS.1.1 and KP.3.3.

The hybrid strain was first reported in Berlin late June but has spread across Europe, North America and Asia with the countries Germany, France, the Netherlands and Denmark leading cases.

Is the XEC variant more contagious? While there's no indication the XEC strain will increase the severity of virus, it could potentially become a dominant strain as Omicron variants are more contagious. However, current available COVID-19 vaccines and booster shots are particularly protective against XEC as it is a hybrid of two Omicron strains.

"These strains do have the advantage in the fact that they are more transmissible compared to other families, and so the vaccines that are currently being offered were not based off of the XEC variant, but they are related," Adams said.

Like other respiratory infections, COVID-19 and its recent Omicron variants will increasingly spread during the fall and winter seasons as students return to classes, kids spend more time inside and people visit family for the holidays, according to Adams.

How can we protect ourselves from XEC and other variants? The CDC continues to monitor the emergence of variants in the population, according to spokesperson Rosa Norman.

"At this time, we anticipate that COVID-19 treatments and vaccines will continue to work against all circulating variants," Norman said in a statement to USA TODAY. "CDC will continue to monitor the effectiveness of treatment and vaccines against circulating variants."

The CDC recommends that everyone ages 6 months and older, with some exceptions, receive an updated 2024-2025 COVID-19 vaccine to protect against the virus, regardless whether or not you have previously been vaccinated or infected.

Norman urged Americans to monitor the agency's COVID Data Tracker for updates to new variants.

KP.3.1.1:This dominant COVID-19 variant accounts for over 50% of cases, new CDC data shows

What is the dominant strain of COVID in the US? COVID-19 variant KP.3.1.1 is currently the dominant strain accounting for more than half of positive infections in the U.S. according to recent CDC projections.

Between Sept. 1 and Sept. 14, 52.7% of positive infections were of the KP.3.1.1 strain, followed by KP.2.3 at 12.2%, according to the agency's Nowcast data tracker, which displays COVID-19 estimates and projections for two-week periods.

KP.3.1.1 first became the dominant strain in the two-week period, starting on July 21st and ending on August 3rd.

"The KP.3.1.1 variant is very similar to other circulating variants in the United States. All current lineages are descendants of JN.1, which emerged in late 2023," Norman previously told USA TODAY.

COVID XEC symptoms There is no indication that the XEC variant comes with its own unique symptoms.

The CDC continues to outline the basic COVID-19 symptoms, which can appear between two to 14 days after exposure to the virus and can range from mild to severe.

These are some of the symptoms of COVID-19:

Fever or chills Cough Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing Fatigue Muscle or body aches Headache Loss of taste or smell Sore throat Congestion or runny nose Nausea or vomiting Diarrhea

The CDC said you should seek medical attention if you have the following symptoms:

Trouble breathing Persistent pain or pressure in the chest New confusion Inability to wake or stay awake Pale, gray or blue-colored skin, lips, or nail beds

[quicksilversnails]

Took some notes from the Wild Life retrospective episode of the Imp & Skizz podcast featuring Grian because I thought the behind the scenes info was really interesting!

(3:15) The wild cards were all kept totally secret from the players (apart from Grian), with the exception of the superpowers and finale (as they required the players to set keybinds)

(3:45) The players were given files containing the required mods each week, which were named things like "creeper rain" to throw them off

(4:12) Wild cards were a combination of data packs and mods

(4:38) Grian told them not to read the folder name to avoid spoilers (which is kind of impossible), so everyone fully believed there would be creeper rain lol. Grian was saying it in jest but everyone took it seriously and were apologetic about having seen it, to which Grian told them not to worry

(6:58) Grian originally contacted a data pack dev called Brace for help with programming the wild cards. Some, like the shrinking/growing could be achieved with minecraft attributes, but the snails were too janky and unusable. Grian still liked the idea though, so he reached out to mod developers Henkelmax and Breadloaf, who designed the pathfinding/behaviour from scratch

(8:49) They had a debugging mode used to test the pathfinding of the snails, shown in the podcast and in Grian's credits

(10:09) Grian wants most of the credit to go to the development team and artists, as he was mostly in charge of ideas & organization!

(10:39) Grian's only regret with the snails was that they were too fast in session 3, leading to unexpectedly many deaths. They were apparently not so difficult to get away from during testing, but perhaps the testers were more used to them than the players were

(11:44) Grian: "We did develop to the lowest common denominator" ie. prioritizing how players would struggle over how worrying about if players would do too well

(12:56) Oli's voice for the snails was iconic. It cost Impulse a life because he intentionally stayed closer to it to hear the voice lol

(13:42) Danny was in charge of the snail models and animations

(14:11) During testing, the snails just sounded like Oli, which made it feel weird. They pitched up his voice so that it'd be less immediately recognizable

(15:18) The snails' jumping attack was meant to be clearly telegraphed: they would stop, wiggle, make a "ooeee" sound before jumping. Many players had their friendly creatures volume turned very low/off (as cows and other mobs are loud), which made this attack much less obvious for them

(16:57) The growing/shrinking had the least testing done for it, as it was the simplest conceptually and to program. This meant that the falling off of blocks due to the shrinking hitboxes wasn't anticipated

(17:55) Before the 1st session, Grian told them that he didn't think anyone would die to the wild card. Pearl's death made Grian pretty nervous, as he didn't want everyone dying too early in the season

(19:29) 6 lives were given, knowing that many of the death to the wild cards were unexpected/unfair. The intent was for ~3 lives to be allocated for wild cards, and ~3 for PvP.

(21:13) The developers were all fans of the Life Series!

(22:43) The shrinking/growing was intentionally pretty simple to ease players/viewers into the concept and build up toward more dramatic wild cards like the snails

(25:38) In the hunger episode, Grian didn't know which foods would be good

(25:58) Grian thinks that "it's unfair that Grian already knows everything" is valid criticism, but that it's important for him to be involved with the ideas. Having someone else do that is like having someone else record his videos: Life Series is his brainchild

(26:35) Well before the season began, while they were still developing the concept, Grian asked the other players for wild card ideas that would meet a few criteria. All of them ended up being unused for one reason or another. Impulse thinks his ideas were very "inside the box" because he was viewing things through what was possible in vanilla Minecraft. His idea was to have a scavenger hunt where the players would search to find a relic. The first person to find it would get a buff. Skizz's idea was for every player to turn into a random passive mob for every given interval of time. They would have to find every other player of the same mob type as them or else the whole group loses a life.

(29:44) The food qualities were weighted by the rarity of the item, so very common blocks like dirt and cobblestone would never give anything good. The other items were randomly selected

(30:23) Regular blocks/items cannot be made edible normally, so they had to circumvent that and custom code a fix for items not stacking correctly

(32:41) While a lot of players do want to win, the main priority is creating entertainment, which prioritizes playing recklessly

(33:20) The food wild card wasn't included in the finale because it would've felt like "too much". There was a higher risk of technical issues since it changed the data values of items, and Grian didn't want someone's last death to be because they ate their sword. In his mind, it was a good and fun wild card, but didn't need to be repeated in the finale. Impulse points out that they all would have collected more rare items by that point, removing the incentive to search for blocks to eat

(33:46) The wild cards in the finale were nerfed from their original sessions. The shrinking/growing had a smaller height range, the snails moved slower, etc.

(36:21) The personalized snail skins were a late addition by Danny, who made 18 skins very quickly

(36:49) Grian did not anticipate the snails becoming as popular with fans as they were. After the session released, they had the idea to release the snail merchandise, which directly funded the rest of the season

(39:20) Grian spent what "felt like every day" testing with the developers. They'd record the sessions on Tuesdays, meet up with the dev team, talk about what need to be done, testing, bugs, etc, edit and upload on Saturday, and would get a few days grace before starting again

(40:01) After the snail session, Grian was worried that the season would be very short due to all the deaths. They were considering toning down the later wild cards but ultimately didn't change them too much

(40:36) The time wild card was carefully balanced. If it had gone even a little faster, many players likely would have died because they wouldn't have time to react to threats like baby zombies or creepers.

(40:57) While sessions normally run for a variable amount of time, session 4 was hardcoded at 2 hours. Grian ended the session ~10 minutes early, just after they hit max speed, because he felt like things were getting dicey

(42:46) When the wild card first activates, it looks a lot like the server had frozen or crashed. Grian told the players before the session started that it would look like the game was broken, but that it isn't broken. Skizz tabbed out anyway and missed the beginning 😔

(43:30) Having the rain start just as the wild card began was a good visual indicator of time slowing down. This was a suggestion from the dev team (probably Brace)

(44:41) Impulse and Grian "cheesed" the end of the session by going branch mining. Grian wanted players to take advantage of the wild cards (eg. mining quickly, helping to kill someone), and not have them just be an annoyance.

(45:30) Keeping the client and server-side time stay in sync was challenging. The sky's motion was changed to be smoother on client-side. The players were also not as fast as the server (around 2x faster), the server was going faster than that, and the time of day was even faster

(46:56) The sounds were pitched up/down based on the speed to add to the effect

(27:46) In testing, if the players were made 7x faster, it would be basically unplayable, which was why it was capped at 2x speed. This made mobs very dangerous, as they were now faster than players and could catch up to you and kill you easily

(49:01) On several occasions, they had to extend the fuse duration of creepers to make them more fair. In the time session, their speed was only increased by ~10%

(49:39) Usually, Grian was the one to test the wild cards and notice when things like creeper speed would be an issue, since he was the one with experience making videos

(50:50) A challenge with balancing wild cards is accounting for the playstyles of so many players: reckless players like Scar and Skizz, "kind and gentle" players like Bigb who would stay off to the sides, and "the sweat squad" (Scott, Impulse) who play very cautiously

(52:48) Trivia Bot was the only wild card that was not planned in advance. Grian was struggling to come up with a wild card for that episode, and wanted to have a wild card available that could give people lives in case many people died to early wild cards without it feeling cheap.

(53:33) Trivia seemed a little boring on its face, so presentation was essential

(54:34) This one made Grian the most stressed due to all the moving parts involved in making it (coding and pathfinding mostly by Henkelmax, visuals by Hoffen, audio/music, questions)

(55:08) Trivia Bot's design was based on Grumbot and Mettaton from Undertale. Hoffen drew concept art shown in the video

(58:32) They show Trivia Bot's custom animation for becoming a snail and it's really cool

(59:12) The music was the most stressful part of the project. Grian spent 2-3 days looking through Epidemic Sounds for a Trivia Bot theme song and couldn't find anything good. He commissioned Zera @hopepetal for a theme song, which is played in the podcast. However, Grian realized he needed a full audio package, so he commissioned Oli late in development, who created the final soundtrack and many audio variations

(1:01:38) Grian wants to send appreciation for everyone who worked on the project, even if their work ultimately went unused

(1:02:58) Skizz was happy to give back however he could by staying on standby in the final episode as a zombie, as the players were able to "reap all the benefits" of the hard work of the development team

(1:05:21) Grian didn't know any of the trivia questions beforehand, which were done by fans of the series. The goal was for ~50% of the questions to be answered correctly, which was approximately met

(1:07:11) Players couldn't get questions about themselves because it would be too easy. This would encourage players to leave their bot, allowing other players to mess with them

(1:07:57) Grian felt a little left out from the discovery element of the wild cards, and decided to mess with Scar by hiding his bot. He wasn't expecting Scar to die from it, and could tell that he was genuinely a little upset by it. Grian felt bad about it, which led to a genuine in-game alliance between them

(1:12:32) Grian was very close to letting Trivia Bot give lives as rewards, but decided it would feel too cheap

(1:14:38) Mob swap was slightly toned down, with more camels and sniffers spawning

(1:15:07) Evokers didn't drop totems anymore. Instead, there was a minuscule chance a warden or wither would spawn, which would drop a totem if killed. Grian was a little disappointed that the warden got cheesed in the end

(1:17:45) Having the mobs start passive and turn hostile was mostly for the presentation, building anticipation, and so players could predict where mobs would spawn and react accordingly, making things feel less unfair

(1:20:32) There was no superpower made for Skizz (or Mumbo presumably)

(1:20:38) The superpowers were another late addition. There was a large design doc where Grian created all the powers, which were handed over to Henkelmax and completed over 4 days

(1:21:42) Grian avoided superpowers involving strength, that could cause someone to die easily. Most of the powers were social or movement-based, which couldn't be used for offence as easily

(1:22:25) Some powers were randomly assigned, others weren't. Impulse's was random. Cleo's, Bigb's, Lizzie's, Grian's were assigned.

(1:24:25) Grian gave himself the mimic because it could easily backfire (like in Grian's fall damage death), and because it would've been confusing for a player who wasn't aware of the other powers. They likely would've spent the episode just figuring out how everything worked and not actually using the power to its best ability

Lots of discussion about the superpowers and how they interacted in the episode itself, go watch if you're interested :)

(1:33:38) Talk on how the series "standard" rules evolved since 3rd Life. There was no keep inventory, and no restrictions on enchanting levels or potions, which created slow or unbalanced fights

(1:36:23) 3rd Life was designed to be an experimental series, which made Grian eager to improve it. For example, some people just weren't dying in 3L, leading to the boogeyman in LL, and so on

(1:37:17) The goal with the seasons isn't to one-up the previous one, but to create a different experience every time, which keeps things engaging for the creators

(1:38:31) At the end of each session, Grian would ask the group if they had fun and how they felt about the wild cards. According the Skizz, the answer was "a resounding yes"

(1:39:08) Grian had moments throughout the season where he personally felt like things didn't go well for him, and was anxious for the rest of the group's episodes. Things worked out while editing the raw footage, though. His issues were never with the wild cards themselves, but his own actions (traps not working, spending too long branch mining), but would always find funny moments in his footage

(1:43:41) Everyone in the Life Series cast genuinely likes and genuinely respects everybody else in the group. This allows them to make the show and get mad at each other, because they know it's all just in-character

(1:44:50) It'd be hard to top Wild Life in spectacle, and Grian doesn't want to start an arms race with himself. The next season could potentially be closer to 3rd Life, but Grian's not sure yet. For Grian, Wild Life was the most enjoyable

(1:45:20) Grian: "As long as people keep enjoying [the Life Series] then I'd love to keep doing it"

(1:49:35) With the finale, Grian knew how the wild cards played out the previous sessions and was able to adjust them

(1:49:56) Grian's goal was to create safe chaos where everyone knew what was happening and wouldn't die to them, which didn't go entirely to plan. The snails were 60% of their original speed and people still died

(1:51:03) Grian made a precise timeline of when each wild card would start/stop, it wasn't randomized.

(1:54:16) All the superpowers were randomized, with Bdubs' power being removed from circulation because it didn't have much use in a finale setting

(1:56:10) It was important for Grian that in the final moments, the wild cards were removed, so there were no interruptions. The timing worked out well because there were a few people left and it ended within ~10 minutes (this implies that the change wasn't based on # of players alive, as people had speculated based on Gem's death)

(1:58:48) The players all randomly switched to zombie skins throughout the session to mess with people on NameMC. Well-played :)

[burreauxsworld]

Ours To Keep (6) | Joe Burrow

Smut/18+, Fluff

Summary: week one of the regular season is fast approaching, and being 25 weeks pregnant, so is your baby bump. With it being impossible to hide, you and Joe have no choice but to come clean.

Your bump quite literally popped over night. There was no denying it anymore. No matter what you wore, you could easily tell your were pregnant. Which lead you here: in a conference room with Joe, Coach Taylor, and a few representatives of the team. Joe sat next to you with his hand in yours underneath the table. As soon as the two of you walked into the room, they knew what this meeting was called for.

Coach Taylor had known for a while that you were pregnant, we was waiting for you to come to him and actually tell him yourself, and he had his suspicions that Joe might be the baby’s father, this only confirmed that. He couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling in his stomach.

“So she’s pregnant?” Dan Pitcher questions, and you nod. “And you’re the father?” He asks Joe, who also nods. “I’m not going to lie, I saw this coming” Dan says, sitting back in his seat. Zac stays silent as all eyes fall on him. He lets out a sigh. “Is this why you’ve been distracted out there?” Zac question, and Joe furrows his brows. “I haven’t been distracted” Joe argues.

“You can say that, but I see it and the entire team sees it. Joe, you’re supposed to be leading this team, not worrying about what’s happening in your personal life. I can’t say I’m happy about this” Zac goes on. You can almost feel the heat radiating off of Joe. Your heart sinks to your stomach and you look at the floor. You never meant to be a distraction for Joe or the team. “What are you saying Zac?” Joe spits. “I’m saying that this is a big distraction for you. Your focus is off-“

“She is not a distraction. My focus has been on point. My calf is still a little sore but I did that. Not her. So don’t talk about my girlfriend or my kid like that again” Joe’s voice booms throughout the room. He looks over at you, noticing your eyes on the floor, and then looks back at Zac.

“I still haven’t signed that contract I was offered. You could lose me as quick as you got me, so think long and hard about treating her differently. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have a doctors appointment we need to go to. This meetings over” Joe say as he gets up. He holds out a hand to help you get up.

“Burrow,” Zac calls out, catching the attention of both of you. “Congratulations,”

•••

After your doctors appointment, you and Joe headed home. You were still going through the process of moving in so you decided to unpack a little bit. With Joe’s help of course. Being high risk, you could lift a lot, not that Joe would let you anyway. The two of you did that for a while, before you found yourselves seated on the floor of a large empty room, that would eventually be the baby’s room.

Your back was against Joe’s chest. His arms around you, gently rubbing up and down on your swollen belly. It was moments like this that you lived for.

“I’m thinking we put the crib over there. That way we can put the camera right there and we’ll be able to see her perfectly” Joe comments, his blue eyes glimmering in the soft cast of sunlight in the room.

“Ooh yeah, and we can put her changing table on this wall, and her dresser on this wall” you agree, craning your neck to look up at him. He dips his head to plant a soft kiss on your lips. After a moment you find yourselves lost in each other. The kiss is passionate, but not rough. Filled with the love you two have for each other.

You eventually move so you’re straddling his hips. Joe’s hands find their home on your waist. The two of you didn’t have a care in the world in this moment. It was just the two of you. Joe’s hands moved under your oversized tee shirt, which was his but he didn’t mind. “Can I take this off?” He mumbles between kisses. You nod your head, pulling back to let him remove the shirt. Your bare chest on full display for him, and he thinks you’re the most beautiful thing in the world.

His head dips down, gently taking one of the sensitive peaks into his mouth. He knows they’ve been bothering you, so he’s gentle. Your fingers thread through his soft locks, being able to fully enjoy his grown-out hair. You let out a breathy whine. “That feels so good,” you breathe out. He smirks against your chest. Fully enjoying the affects that pregnancy has on you.

“Yeah?” He asks, switching to the other side. You little whines only fuel his fire, as your hips begin to grind over the bulge forming in his shorts. He groans against your chest, the feeling shooting straight to your core. His hands roaming over your ass, as he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your leggings and panties, tugging them down to mid thigh with ease. His fingers finding the slickness that formed between your thighs.

“Joey, please” you breathe, feeling his fingers running through your slick folds. His middle finger circles your sensitive clit and you let out a gasp. He pulls back from your lips to watch your face. Scrunched up in pleasure, and he’s looking at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Because you are.

“You like that baby?” He teases while running his fingers through your folds. He’s an expert at teasing, and in this moment, you hated it. “Joey, please!” You let out a frustrated plea, grinding your hips against his hand. “Patience, beautiful. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here” he softly says. “You’ll get what you want, I promise. But I’m taking my time with you”

Without warning, he slips his middle finger into your dripping hole. You gasp, gripping his biceps and he smirks. “Is this what you wanted, gorgeous?” He teases, while slipping his ring finger in. He curls his fingers, hitting that spongey spot deep inside of you, making your eyes roll back. He lets out a soft chuckle. “Right there?” He teases, and you moan in response.

He grips your jaw with his other hand, forcing you to look at him. Your eyes close in bliss, but he’s not having it. “Look at me or I’ll stop”

You open your eyes. His ocean blue eyes turned to darker shade of blue. The room is filled with the sounds of panting, broken moans, and the squelching from between your legs. Your chest heaves as you feel the knot tightening in your belly. Joe knows your close, the way your walls are squeezing his fingers. But he’s nowhere near done with you.

“Joey, I’m gonna-“

“Hold it.” His pace doesn’t let up, his arm muscles flexing beneath your hands with each thrust of his fingers. “I c—cant-“

“You can and you will” he taunts, pulling you in to kiss him. The knot in your belly tightens, your attempt to hold of your impending release is becoming harder and harder. Your orgasm is building in a way you’ve never felt before. The squelching only seemed to grow louder, along with your moans. “Joe, I’m gonna cum. I cant hold it anymore” you warn, your chest heaving. “Cum for me baby, cum all over me”

The loud high pitched moan you let out is damn near pornographic. Your body trembling with the force of your orgasm. Your juices release all over your thighs and all over Joe. He sports a cocky smirk. Your hands grip his shoulders as your entire body continues to shake. This orgasm nothing like any of the others. Joe hands wrap around your body, pulling you close.

“Did I just-“

“Yep” Joe says, the smirk never leaving his face. “That was so fucking hot” he groans. You lay your head against his shoulder, attempting to catch your breath. “And I’m so fucking hard” he comments. “I think I can take care of that.” It was your turn to smirk, as you kiss up and down his neck. It was gonna be a long night.

•••

This was a lot shorter than I anticipated it being. The next part will be a little longer, I promise ❤️

Tag list: @joeyfranchise

[kcalsquette]

50 Things I Do Instead Of Eating

1. Reading

2. Painting nails

3. Waxing/Shaving (weird but keeps me busy?)

4. Doing my eyebrows

5. Playing games

6. Sleeping

7. Watching podcasts

8. Going on a walk

9. Doing exercise

10. Looking at meanspo/thinspo

11. Learning dances

12. Listening to a whole album

13. Learning historic facts

14. Watching a season of a show

15. Studying

16. Cleaning

17. Showering

18. Doing self care

19. Knitting/Crafts

20. Sorting out closet/clothes

21. Rearranging furniture

22. Making new outfits to wear

23. Watching TikToks

24. Go to the park

25. Drinking a ton of water/tea

26. Watch a show like "My 600 lbs life" or "Supersize vs. Superskinny"

27. Write in a journal

28. Write a story

29. Learn a song on your musical instrument

30. Reorganize your desk

31. Call a friend

32. Smell something super rancid

33. Drink super salty water or something that will make you sick

34. Plan meals in advance

35. Plan your week out (non-food related)

36. Window shop that prize you're going to get once you hit x weight

37. Learn how to play a musical instrument

38. Take apart something and learn how to put it together again (pencil, fan, etc.)

39. Do some art

40. Binge through social medias

41. Find a new way to style your hair

42. Find a new way to do your makeup

43. Brush your teeth

44. Look in a mirror and squeeze the fat you want gone

45. Try to solve a puzzle

46. Try a new phone game

47. Reorganize/Redecorate your phone

48. Reorganize/Redecorate your computer/tablet

49. Solve a rubix cube

50. Chew on some ice

[gildedoak]

"SOUTHERN COMFORT FOOD" COMIC - MASTERPOST

SEASON 1 Episode 1 - "Chicken and Waffles" Episode 2 - "Sweet Tea "

Side Story - "Enemies" (part of RadioApple Week, Day 2)

Side Story - "Late Night/Early Morning" (part of RadioApple Week, Day 1) / Part 2 "Milk and Honey"

Episode 3 - "Peach Cobbler" Episode 4 - "Hushpuppies" Episode 5 - "Crab/Crawfish Boil"

Side Story - "Drinking/Bonding" (part of RadioApple Week, Day 4) Side Story - "Domestic" (part of RadioApple Week, Day 5)

Episode 6 - "Gumbo" (additional character notes!)

Side Story - Lemon Bars Part 1 "Deal" (part of RadioApple Week, Day 3) Part 2 "Chef Identity Taskforce" (additional mini sequel) Part 3 "The Succubi Sequel" Part 4 "The Pantry"

Episode 7 (TW) - "Beignets Part 1" / "Beignets Part 2"

Side Story - "Tea with Rosie"

Episode 8 - "Shrimp and Grits" Episode 9 - "Cornbread"

Side Story - "Tea with Rosie 2" Side Story - "Sleeping aka 'Food Coma'" (part of RadioApple Week, Day 6)

Episode 10 - "Biscuits and Gravy" Episode 11 - "Pecan Pie/Sugar Pie" Episode 12 - "Fried Catfish" Episode 13 (TW) - "Apple Tartlets Part 1" / "Apple Tartlets Part 2"

SEASON 2 Episode 14 - "Banana Pudding" Episode 15 Episode 16 Episode 17 Episode 18 Episode 19 Episode 20 Episode 21 Episode 22 Episode 23 Episode 24 Episode 25 Episode 26

PETIT FOURS Part 1 "Meet the BFF" Part 2 "Fashion Crisis" Part 3 "Day Out" (part of RadioApple Week, Day 7) Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

SIDE STORIES Cinnamon Rolls Apple Cider Garlic Bread

[shamelessbigbang]

Shameless Big Bang Round 13 Posting Schedule

Here's what you've all been waiting for! The thirteenth round of the Shameless Big Bang is right around the corner, so get ready, because we have quite the lineup. Check out the posting schedule below and get ready for all the fic and art coming in a few short weeks!

2/24 - A Series of Unfortunate Dates by @wehangout with art by @geonbaeeeesblog

2/25 - Of Vampires and Men by @mybrainismelted with art by @filorux

2/26 - Fire When Ready by @francesrose3 and @suzy-queued with art by @kiennilove

2/27 - Bite by @ohkate with art by @badassfetish

2/28 - Whispers From the Wrong Side of Town by @nozenfordaddy with art by @gallapiech

3/1 - Every Storm by @rayrayor with art by @badassfetish

3/2 - American Tradition by @ange1sang with art by @suzy-queued

3/3 - Someone To Save You by @sickness-health-all-that-shit with art by @cal-tastrophe

3/4 - When You Know, You Know, You Know? by @spacerockwriting with art by @mikcrymilkovich

3/5 - Forward by @gallabitch73 with art by @deathclassic

3/6 - Just to be Free Again by @ms-moonlight-inn and @notherenewjersey with art by @gallabitch73

3/7 - Tomato Season by @echotrees with art by @gallapiech

3/8 - Don't by @hellcat1980 with art by @darlingian

3/9 - Echoes of Us by @mickeyheartian with art by @deathclassic

3/10 - Moth to Flame by @mickwentz with art by @deedala

3/11 - Breathe Me by @solitarycreaturesthey with art by @konaiiro

3/12 - Number Neighbors by @hell-yeah-stargazer-lilies with art by @aloonatlast

3/13 - Back in Black by @smittybus22 with art by @wasmickeyadopted

[molestation-maid]

NSFT would you rather

1. Be over-stimulated or edged?

2. be a voyeur or have semi-public sex?

3. Finger yourself or follow guided masturbation?

4. Watch yourself in a mirror or listen to a recording of yourself?

5. Honey or ice?

6. Sleep in lingerie or nude?

7. Receive a voice memo or a nude from a mutual?

8. Shaved or bushy?

9. Grope yourself or be groped?

10. Cuddle under a blanket or sleep nude together?

11. Airplane sex or elevator sex?

12. Kitchen sex or shower sex?

13. Pool sex or workplace sex?

14. Watch porn or read erotica?

15. Receive or send a dirty message while at work?

16. Have your dirty thoughts shared with those around you or know the dirty thoughts of those around you?

17. Watch wlw or mlm porn?

18. Hump a pillow or use a vibrator?

19. Boobs or butt?

20. Lose your virginity together or lose to someone well-seasoned?

21. Get fingered in the library or at a nightclub?

22. Receive or perform oral?

23. Have “ok” sex daily or amazing sex once a week?

24. Doggy or missionary?

25. Physical touch or quality time?

26. Moan or scream?

27. Lace or latex?

28. White or black lingerie?

29. Have someone remote control your vibrator or control it for someone else?

*This was copied from another post. That blog didn’t have their reblogs on so full credit to them but since they didn’t want them shared, I won’t tag them out of respect. It’s a blog I follow and love and don’t want them to get bothered. These were just too good not to share.

**This is a copy of a copy for the same reason.

[daminouspurity]

Cincinnati Bengals vs. New York Giants | 2024 NFL Season Week 6 | Predictions Madden NFL 25

SUBSCRIBE! & TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS!

[bethanythebogwitch]

Wet Beast Wednesday: fairy shrimp

It's week 2 of fresh-uary, the month where I only cover freshwater species for Wet Beast Wednesday. This week's entry is on fairy shrimp, who are neither fairies nor shrimp. Instead, they are members of a mostly freshwater group of crustaceans called Branchipods. These little invertebrates are masters at surviving inhospitable conditions and one group has become famous in both the novelty pet and fish food worlds. You may know them as brine shrimp.

(Image: a female fairy shrimp. It is a small invertebrate somewhat shrimp-like in appearance. It has a large head with a compound eye and two pairs of antennae. The body is long and slender and the front half ans multiple limbs with feathery structures attached to them. The second half ends in a forked tail. This one has a short, transparent egg sac attached to its body just behind the limbs. Small, spherical eggs are visible within. End ID)

Fairy shrimp are members of the family Anostraca, with about 300 known species, many of which are found in very isolated areas. Most species are tiny, maxing out at 6 to 25 mm long, but some species get larger. The largest species, Branchinecta gigas, can reach 170 mm (6.7 in). Being crustaceans, they have exoskeletons, but fairy shrimp exoskeletons are very thin and fragile. The fairy shrimp body plan is divided into three regions, the head, thorax, and abdomen. The head has two compound eyes on stalks, the mouth, and two pairs of antennae. The first pair is long, thin, and unsegmented while the second pair differs depending on sex. Females have a second pair similar to the first pair, while the males have a second pair modified into grasping appendages used to hold onto the female during mating. The thorax is divided into multiple (usually 13 but sometimes more) segments. All but the final two segments are identical and each have a pair of feather-like appendages called phyllopods that act both as swimming limbs and gills. The final two segments of the thorax are fused and have a pair of appendages used for mating. The abdomen consists of 6 segments that don't have appendages. The final segment is the telson, which has a pair of paddle-like structures used for rapid movement and the anus.

(Image: a male fairy shrimp, identifiable as such by the enlarged and leg-like second pair of antennae. End ID)

Fairy shrimp are graceful, but somewhat slow, swimmers who orient themselves belly-up and swim by moving their phyllopods in sequence. They primarily feed on algae, either by filter feeding or scraping it off of rocks and other submerged structures. Some of the larger species are predators of zooplankton and Branchinecta gigas is a hunter of smaller fairy shrimp. Fairy shrimp are found in inland water on all 7 continents. They specialize in seasonal pools and salt lakes. These harsh conditions make fairy shrimp experts as surviving where many other animals cannot. They have a high tolerance for salinity, heat, and low levels of oxygen, all of which help them survive in salt lakes and evaporating pools. A characteristic all fairy shrimp share is the ability for their eggs to enter a state called diapause. This is a form of cryptobiosis where the egg becomes a cyst that stops growth and metabolic activity. Their development effectively pauses until the proper conditions occur and biological activity resumes. Cysts can survive complete dessication, freezing, hypersaline conditions, UV radiation, and the vacuum of space and can remain in this condition for centuries. Diapause also helps the fairy shrimp spread, as their cysts can be carried to new habitat by the weather or other animals.

(Image: a giant fairy shrimp Branchinecta gigas held in somebody's hand to show off its size. It is longer than the person's finger and almost as thing in the thorax. End ID)

Fairy shrimp that live in seasonal pools live fast and die young. Their lifespans last a few months at most because they need to develop to maturity and reproduce before the pool dries up for the year. Most species of fairy shrimp have distinct sexes, but some species are exclusively female and reproduce through parthenogenesis. Males use their modified antennae to grab onto females and transfer sperm to her. The female will either carry her eggs on a sac attached to her abdomen or will maintain them internally. Eggs may be released to settle on the sediment or retained internally until the mother dies and sinks to the bottom. Some species will produce two types of eggs. Early season eggs are produced when water is still abundant in the pool. They will quickly hatch and mature to adulthood. Late season eggs are produced when the pool is drying up. They will settle to the sediment and become cysts, waiting for the next wet season to refill the pool before they hatch. Not all cysts will hatch each wet season, some will wait it out for later years. This ensures that a too-short wet season can't wipe out the whole population. Fairy shrimp living in salt lakes generally don't have to worry about their home drying out, but they maintain the ability to encyst their eggs in case the water gets too salty due to evaporation or too cold or hot. Fairy shrimp in salt lakes are vital to their environments because they regulate the population of phytoplankton and bacteria.

(Image: a close-up of somebody's hand holding some water and 9 red fairy shrimp. End ID)

Fairy shrimp are a major food source to many animals, especially birds. Their isolated or inhospitable habitats keep fairy shrimp safe from many predators, such as fish, but not from birds. Ducks and flamingos are some of the most prominent predators of fairy shrimp. Birds also help spread the shrimp, as the cysts can stick to their bodies or even pass through their digestive systems to be carried to other pools. Humans have also started using fairy shrimp as fish food in aquariums and aquaculture. There is now a multi-million dollar industry based around the Great Salt Lake in Utah and Mono Lake and San Fransisco Bay in California based around harvesting cysts and adult fairy shrimp for sale. The fairy shrimp used in aquaculture are almost all brine shrimp of the genus Artemia. Brine shrimp are also used as model organisms in science and as novelty pets under the brand name of sea monkeys. Brine shrimp cysts are easy to find in many pet and aquarium supply stores and will hatch quickly once exposed to water. Many wild fairy shrimp populations are threatened. Because of how isolated their pools can be, any damage to the pool can endanger the species. Pollution and habitat loss are threatening many species while human-caused movement of fairy shrimp cysts to new pools can lead to them harming native species.

(Image: a magazine advertisement for sea monkeys, featuring a long text listing dubious facts about the animals, an order form, and an illustration of a nuclear family of anthropomorphic sea monkets that look like fish people with three antennae. End ID)

[mylovesstuffs]

100 Reasons Why I Love Seungcheol ! (a.k.a. S.Coups, Choi Leader, Carat Nation’s Dad)

1. The way he manages 12 chaotic kids (men) like a pro. Where’s his Parent of the Year award?

2. When he yells at them but immediately softens like a marshmallow.

3. His laugh can cure seasonal depression.

4. A visual.

5. His habit of acting like the maknae when he’s the eldest.

6. Petty Seungcheol is peak comedy.

7. When he tries to act cool, but the members clown him anyway.

8. His relationship with aegyo.

9. The way he thinks he’s subtle when being dramatic.

10. His iconic “Say the name!”

11. When he stands in the center like he owns the stage. (Because he does.)

12. His “I’m SEVENTEEN’s leader” energy.

13. That time he pulled off blone hair like a literal Greek god.

14. The way he stares into the camera during performances.

15. How he can make a single word sound like a life-changing declaration.

16. The emotional damage from his tongue plays.

17. His airport looks could rival a runway.

18. His tiny, proud smiles when the members achieve something. You can see the love in his eyes.

19. The fact that he knows exactly how to bias-wreck us.

20. How he’s effortlessly charismatic without even trying.

21. The way he protects the members like they’re his own brothers.

22. When he cried during their Daesang speech—who didn’t cry with him?

23. That time he comforted Jeonghan when he was sick, and our hearts collectively melted.

24. How he takes care of Carats.

25. The soft way he says, “Thank you, Carats.” (Excuse me while I sob.)

26. When he got emotional during their first win.

27. His little “fighting!” moments to cheer everyone up.

28. The way his presence alone calms the chaos in the group (most of the time).

29. The way he values teamwork over individual success.

30. His deep, gravelly voice that feels like a warm hug.

31. Knowing he’s been through tough times but came out stronger.

32. When he cried feeling unworthy of being the leader—Cheol, we’ll fight anyone who made you feel like that.

33. Seeing him push through injuries just to be with SEVENTEEN and Carats.

34. His constant worry about whether he’s doing enough.

35. That one hiatus he took, which made us miss him like crazy but as long as he's okay.

36. Knowing he carries so much responsibility on his shoulders but never complains.

37. How he always thinks of the members’ happiness before his own.

38. His bittersweet smiles during emotional moments—why must you hurt us like this?

39. The way he supports his members during hard times.

40. He cried more over Woozi's hard work than their first win.

41. His leadership is unmatched—period.

42. He’s the glue that keeps SEVENTEEN together.

43. His vocals are criminally underrated.

44. His stage presence is absolute legend behavior.

45. How he hypes up the members like their #1 fan.

46. The way he makes sure every member gets their moment to shine.

47. He’s a friend, brother, and protector.

48. His rap go hard.

49. The way he’s always looking out for the younger members.

50. He gives off main character energy without overshadowing anyone.

51. His pout—it’s a lethal weapon.

52. The way he drinks water like he’s in a CF.

53. When he flips his hair mid-dance. Yes, it’s a reason.

54. His Jigeumbuteo. Iconic.

55. His obsession with Shinchan—same, honestly.

56. The way he claps when he’s laughing too hard.

57. His habit of clinging. Mood.

58. That one episode of Going Seventeen where he was scared giggling and wrapping arms with Shua just because he's scared lol.

59. How he randomly lifts the members like they weigh nothing (especially Hao).

60. When he plays rock-paper-scissors like it’s a serious sport.

61. Seungcheol is the reason I now find men with leadership skills attractive.

62. He’s personally responsible for ruining my bias list every other week.

63. The amount of time I’ve spent analyzing his fancams is embarrassing.

64. His “leader line” moments with RM and Bang Chan.

65. How he’s secretly a softie who loves hugs.

66. He lives rent-free in my brain, and I’m not charging him.

67. The way I feel personally attacked by his selfies.

68. How he can bias-wreck me with a single smirk.

69. The way he hypes up other members on stage like a proud dad.

70. Why does he make me emotional over a simple “fighting!”?

71. He’s a role model.

72. The way he shows that strength can be soft and kind.

73. How he’s grown with SEVENTEEN from boys to men.

74. His love for Carats—it’s so genuine it hurts.

75. He’s proof that hard work pays off.

76. The way he balances being goofy and responsible.

77. His dedication to his craft—it’s inspiring.

78. How he takes pride in SEVENTEEN’s achievements without being boastful.

79. The fact that he’s never forgotten where he came from.

80. Knowing he truly cares about SEVENTEEN’s legacy.

81. His dimples.

82. The way he flips between being a charismatic idol on stage and a complete goofball off stage.

83. When he said, “I’m SEVENTEEN’s dad,” and it’s both funny and true.

84. How he radiates warmth, even through a screen.

85. His goofy side that he shows when he’s comfortable.

86. The way he makes everyone feel like they belong.

87. His deep, thoughtful words during interviews.

88. How he remembers even the smallest details about the members.

89. The way he leads with both his heart and his head.

90. He’s the definition of dependable.

91. He’s a leader who listens, not just commands.

92. His honesty.

93. The way he reminds us that it’s okay to take breaks.

94. He’s proof that vulnerability is strength.

95. How he brings out the best in everyone around him.

96. His endless love for music and performing.

97. The way he’s stayed humble despite SEVENTEEN’s success.

98. Knowing he’ll always have SEVENTEEN and Carats’ backs.

99. He’s family.

100. Because, honestly, there’s no one else like Choi Seungcheol.

[witchynyx]

2025 Witches Calendar

Seasonal Festivals: Southern Hemisphere

❤️ Lammas/Reflection: Feb 1 (traditional) / Feb 3 (astrological)

🩷 Autumn Equinox: March 20

💜 Samhain/ShadowFest: April 30 (traditional) / May 5 (astrological)

💙 Winter Solstice: June 21

💚 Imbolc/Quickening: August 1 (traditional) / August 7 (astrological)

🌿 Spring Equinox: September 23

💛 Beltane/Floralia: Nov 1 (traditional) / Nov 7 (astrological)

🧡 Summer Solstice: Dec 21

(Dates given are based on GMT+8 - Check the dates/times of the seasonal festivals in 15 different timezones)

...

Seasonal Festivals: Northern Hemisphere

💚 Imbolc: Feb 1 (traditional) / Feb 3 (astrological)

🌿 Spring Equinox: March 20

💛 Beltane: May 1 (traditional) / May 5 (astrological)

🧡 Summer Solstice: June 21

❤️ Lammas: August 1 (traditional) / August 7 (astrological)

🩷 Autumn Equinox: September 22

💜 Samhain: Oct 31 (traditional) / Nov 7 (astrological)

💙 Winter Solstice: Dec 21

(Dates given are based on GMT - Check the dates/times of the seasonal festivals in 15 different timezones)

...

New & Full Moons

🌑 December 31

🌕 January 14

🌑 January 29

🌕 February 12

🌑 February 28

🌕 March 14

🌑 March 29 - Super new moon

🌕 April 13 - Micro full moon

🌑 April 28 - Super new moon

🌕 May 13 - Micro full moon

🌑 May 27

🌕 June 11

🌑 June 25

🌕 July 11

🌑 July 25

🌕 August 9

🌑 August 23 - Black moon

🌕 September 8 - Total lunar eclipse

🌑 September 22

🌕 October 7

🌑 October 21

🌕 November 5 - Super full moon

🌑 November 20 - Micro new moon

🌕 December 5 - Super full moon

🌑 December 20

(Dates given are based on GMT+8 - Check the dates/times in your local timezone)

...

About the Calendar Wheel

The image on this post is the calendar I made for 2025, based on my location in Boorloo (so-called Perth, Western Australia), on Wadjuk Noongar boodjar.

From the centre, outwards, you'll see:

The 6 Noongar seasons

The 8 seasonal festivals (I've used the common names for the cross-quarters, since I'll probably use this on my business socials)

The 12 months of the year

The 52-ish weeks of the year

The 365 days of the year

The new, full, and quarter moons for 2025

Depending where in the world you're from, you might also notice some things look a little different than you expect...

The wheel is arranged Southern Hemisphere sunwise. Because the sun skewing towards the equator at midday take it to the north, the sun's path over the course of each day appears to move counter-clockwise (because clocks were made based off northern hemisphere sundials).

The quarter-moon icons seem inverted, because we're viewing the moon from a different vantage point. Southern hemisphere moon phases look like:

🌘🌗🌖🌕🌔🌓🌒

Likewise some dates might seem a little off - Astrological events occur at the same instant, regardless of where in the world we are, but how we mark that instant on our calendar will depend on what timezone we're located in (and which side of midnight that timezone places us).

I'm located ~12hrs ahead of the Eastern United States, so a lot of the events above might be the date before for folks in earlier timezones (likewise for folks in Eastern Australia and New Zealand, a handful of events might be the date after if they're in the early a.m.)

[sefikuraweek]

Hey there, fellow Sefikura shippers! Holiday season is upon us and it’s also time for yet another edition of the Sefikura Appreciation Week, an event that runs from January 25th through January 31st, during which you can share your love for this ship through fanworks in the #sefikuraweek tag.

Prompts can be found below. Feel free to be as creative with those as you can¹, and take your time working on your entries, but please don’t forget to post them in the right date².

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Jan. 25 || Day 1. Childhood

Jan. 26 || Day 2. Fire

Jan. 27 || Day 3. Home

Jan. 28 || Day 4. Mother

Jan. 29 || Day 5. Hero

Jan. 30 || Day 6. Abduction

Jan. 31 || Day 7. Time

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Please remember to include the week’s tag within the first 5 tags or else it might be almost impossible to find your work! If you fear you won’t be found anyway, please @ this blog or send a DM. Anything containing any Character/Ship Hate won’t be accepted, so avoid including those in your entries.(Making characters as villains is fine, however.) Also don’t repost anyone else’s work as your own! Definitely don’t harass other people and remember that fiction is fiction.

We’re also on other platforms as well! Find even more of the event in the AO3 COLLECTION, TWITTER or our brand new BSKY branch.

And if you have any questions, don’t be afraid of sending a message.

Hopefully it’ll turn out to be a fun event for everyone!

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

¹: please remember to tag content appropriately

²: delays are completely forgiven and the tag will be checked for 7 days after the 31st just to be sure

[paper-mario-wiki]

Hey how do you cook chicken so often. It's always a huge fucking hassle to me to prep and cook chicken and it's so expensive I usually don't bother. Is there some trick you know for making it easy?

the answer's a lot more simple than ya think. i just have a huge bag of chicken breasts in the freezer. dont remember PRECISELY how much it was, pretty sure under $25 for 10 pounds at costco, and it'll last you several weeks when cooking for one.

the only real "prep" for making it easier is, when i don't have any chicken thawed in the fridge, i take some out of the freezer and put it into a plastic bag in the fridge. then, by the next day, ive got chicken that can be cooked and eaten up in 10 minutes. while still raw, it'll stay good for 2 days refrigerated, and up to 4 if you're stupid.

the breasts are actually a little bigger than i'd like when cooking just for myself, so while they're still frozen i find their middle and split them in half on the hard corner of my kitchen counter.

before seasoning, pat down the breast with a paper towel to get excess moisture off. it'll cook more evenly and make seasoning stick easier. i only use salt and pepper before cooking because im lazy and spiceless (poor), but you can definitely use herbs and whatnot when cooking. also smash down some of the thicker bits of the meat with the bottom of a cup or a mallet if you've got one. as long as the breast isn't thicker than, say, the width of your index finger, it'll cook through very easily, mostly in its own juices. otherwise you'll have a harder time cooking it evenly, though it can still be done. it just takes longer and might not look as nice.

pan-frying is as easy as putting in a splash of olive oil (not a ton, just enough for the breast to rest in), and cooking for 5 to 7 minutes on both sides, depending on how brown you want it. this is on medium-high heat, so i set my stove's little heat dial to 6 or 7.

for reference, the meal i made today (chicken breast, hashbrown, fried kale) was prepared in about 15ish minutes, including prepping the chicken and getting it on the pan, which was done first cuz it takes the longest to cook. the hashbrowns cooked on the far side of the pan away from the chicken, and the kale in my air fryer for 3 minutes. the chicken came off the pan first, and i let it rest for a few minutes while i let the hashbrowns finish cooking.

it sounds like a lotta work, but sincerely the most tedious thing about cooking with chicken is thawing it out, so having a few single-person servings of chicken in the fridge makes the whole process much simpler.

make sure that you're wiping down surfaces and utensils that the chicken touches while still raw, and try not to let any of the other foods at all. salmonella is easily avoidable, but still no joke.