#saying this to a child who dissociated a whole year

[the-celestial-bitch]

typical asian parents disappointed that their child miraculously escaped the torture school

[nathaslosthershit]

Some Bad, But a Whole Lot of Good (LS2)

Summary: To the fans, it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume the week after his replacement had been hell for newly dropped Logan Sargeant, but to the people who knew him, they weren't worried. Warning: James Vowles slander, a lot of it, I made Logan yell at him because I want to yell at him

Getting fired a week before your first child was born wasn't on anyone's bucket list. But here Logan was.

He was mad- no he was furious. Sure, the past few months with the team have been miserable, but this was the worst timing possible.

"Why now? Why not the two weeks we were off on break?" Logan asks yells. He doesn't lose his cool, at least not like this, not by yelling at his boss.

"Logan, you have to understand we are in between a rock and a hard place. I am truly sorry but it's a difficult time for us-" Vowles begins to explain.

"A difficult time for you? I am about to have a fucking baby, James. Next week! What the fuck am I supposed to do?" He got up and ran his hand through his hair. "You just had a baby a year ago, I would have thought you of all people would have thought this through more."

"Believe me, we have Logan, we have discussed this at length for a long time now."

"Oh fuck you! You have been thinking about this for a long time and choose now to do something about it? God, James, why do you hate me so much? I know I haven't met expectations, I know I have fucked up, but I still have given everything to this team and this is how you end it?" he finally met his boss'- ex boss' now, I guess, stare.

As Logan looked at his team principal, he tried to see any remorse or sincerity in his eyes but just as he had suspected, James' apology was bullshit, completely insincere. He knew this wasn't going anywhere, he didn't even know why he was fighting.

Formula 1 had been the dream for a while. Logan had let himself sacrifice everything he could to achieve it. He tried to tell himself that he had made it and that he was happy, but it wasn't true. He couldn't face the reality of the dream he worked so hard for not being everything he had imagined.

After meetings about contract termination and how they were to proceed, a sad little goodbye party filled with people that were probably thrilled to have him go, and an actually heartfelt apology and goodbye from his teammate and those he worked closely with, the American left the factory for the last time.

The most difficult part of this whole affair? Telling his very pregnant wife that he was now unemployed, a week until their first child's due date.

After tears, cursing a certain British boss' bloodline, and dissociative silence, Logan sat next to his wife as she suddenly burst into laughter.

He was stunned, she was practically doubling over, at least as much as she could in her current condition. The sight so ridiculous given the circumstances that he began to laugh too.

Several minutes were spent laughing until their stomachs hurt and then trying to catch their breath before either one of them could say another word.

"This is such terrible timing!" she said, wiping her eyes as she continued to giggle.

"Could not me a worse time" he replied as he started to laugh even harder.

"God, we shouldn't be laughing at this! We have officially lost our minds"

"Perfect timing too! Just like everything else"

It was ironic, this was the absolute worse scenario Logan could come up with but this was also the hardest he had laughed in a long time. When was the last time he actually laughed? The last time he actually felt joy about anything involving his job?

As if she could sense what he was thinking, she took a few deep breaths, finally calming down, as she said, "This is insane of me to say, but maybe this is a good thing?"

He knew where she was going, he thought the same, but he needed to hear her rationalize it before he agreed.

"I mean, honey, you were miserable. And I am sorry because I did love some of the people on your team but most of them were jackasses! It was such a time commitment and you have spent so long giving everything to them just for the team to spit in your face. Plus, with savings and such, we have enough to be fine for a while, even with the baby. You finally can put your family and yourself first"

She was right, it was time he admitted to himself how much he had hated his job in the past few months. How miserable it made him. How he could hardly enjoy anything in his life because he was always thinking of how to improve, how to show he still has potential even with the shitty car he was given.

"Im sorry. I- its not fair that I spent so long chasing a dead end dream that I couldn't actually enjoy what I do have. I mean, I could never race again and I would be 1000 times happier with out little family then I could ever be in F1. I will never not put you both first again." He said as he looked at her, held the bump, and genuinely got to relish in what was to come.

The first race weekend since Logan was replaced, he wasn't stewing in his misery, he was sitting in the hospital next to his wife, holding his first born, and the last thing on his mind was what was happening anywhere else in the world outside of the room his entire life was currently in.

logansargeant

liked by alexalbon, jensonbutton, and others

logansargeant New job

user1 hey! so this is insane

user2 unemployment has never looked better

alexalbon This is a crazy way to hard launch fatherhood but good on you, mate!

logansargeant got to keep them guessing

user4 dilf era yes please

oscarpiastri how long is the contract?

logansargeant full time for 18 years, then after there is a bit more leeway, but there is certainly no retirement in my future

user3 replaced right before he had a BABY?! oh that British fuck better watch out

jensonbutton Such a big moment! So happy to see where life takes you, I know it will be great!

A/N: Had to finish this right after the news he is testing for indycar in november dropped!!! U-S-A U-S-A!

[strawbeerossi]

If You Leave Me

Pairing: Fem!reader x Spencer Reid

Description: After coming home, Spencer has nightmares of his wife leaving him after the weight of prison weighs on him after his release.

Content Warnings: Depression, mentions of problems with eating, nightmares, fear of abandonment, mention of parental abandonment, spoilers for the prison arc, mentions of blood and being beaten, anxiety, there’s a panic attack, general angst, light fluff towards the end

Word Count: 1.4K

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'The Show' is so amazing, so I might make more based on each song on the album.

“Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” John F Kennedy.

Spencer had faced change for his whole life. Between his father leaving him with no explanation when he was a child to his mother’s schizophrenia spiralling, he was the poster child for adapting to the plethora of things that life can throw at you and making the best of things.

Child abandonment coupled with a mother whose illness was worsening, there was a lot of pressure on him at a young age. Spencer wanted to take care of his mother, make sure she was safe and sound. He enjoyed lying with her and reading, spending his time with the woman who he cared for. He struggled with making many friends.

Not a lot of high schoolers want to be friends with a twelve-year-old child prodigy. He was the target of relentless bullying, his safest place being home where he could read in the comfort of his own bedroom.

Most children who had any form of trauma as a child turned out to be psychopaths, incapable of empathy and most who exhibited those symptoms were serial killers, he was quite the opposite. Spencer would say that he turned out alright. 

Three PHDs, being a supervisory special agent for the Behavioral Analysis Unit, as well as being a literal genius. He had a team of people who loved him dearly, a good amount of godchildren who he adored, as well as a beautiful wife who did so much for him.

When Spencer was imprisoned, his experience killed a piece of him. The once sweet, innocent Dr. Spencer Reid was now a man who was more prone to showing his complex emotions, his temperament changing. He wasn’t nearly as talkative, he was having a harder time processing things that used to take him mere seconds to understand. It was why they had placed him on a weird schedule; every one hundred days spent in the field would have thirty days off following behind. He thought it was the stupidest decision they made.

Despite all of his protests, nobody would hear him out. It brought on the thoughts of him being untrustworthy. After all, he did kill Nadie Ramos. He may have been under the influence of drugs but that didn’t excuse a damn thing. He killed her with his bare hands. 

That haunted him. The fact that he could be capable of madness, capable of murder. It didn’t help that soon after, he was producing a tampered batch of drugs that he was being forced to push within those four cement walls.

Everyone told him that it wasn’t his fault, that some people were pushed to dark acts in order to ensure their survival. After all, a federal agent in the general population sector was a huge target, someone who would have a lot of enemies. Too many enemies.

After his release, there came a plethora of emotions. Y/N was a saint, patient as could be and more loving than he ever could’ve hoped for. Even when he was dissociating into his mind to shield him from all too familiar territory, she was right there. It had gotten to a point where he severely depended on her, the attachment so strong that he would follow her around the house as if he were a kitten who needed constant attention. 

Dinner was hard, the man having to be reminded that he could take his time to eat and he had no risk of someone coming and taking it whether he allowed them to or not. There were nights where he wouldn’t take a packet of cookies from his wife, stressing over having to ‘pay her back’. It took a lot to break him out of that routine.

Don’t get him started on the nightmares. They were vivid, placing him back to the night when he was beaten in prison or to the day where Luis Delgado had his throat slit in front of him because of his own choices. It was like he could still feel the warmth of the crimson blood staining his hands in the failed attempt to stop the bleeding. 

In addition to nightmares that were filled with blood and violence, there was another recurring nightmare. One that killed him more than any sort of guilt of association ever could. It started out the same way every time, he would come in the house after a long winded case. There would be a lot of stress on his shoulders, a tightening in his chest because of the fact the case didn’t end the way the team had anticipated. He would then walk into the kitchen, where Y/N would be waiting for him. There was no sweet greeting, no kiss against his lips while she hugged him and cried about missing him. 

Instead there was a tense silence, the usually warm apartment freezing. She would turn to him, her eyes filled with exhaustion, no glimmer of love shining over them as they faced one another.

“I can’t do this anymore. You aren’t who you used to be, this time by myself has made me realize that I am much happier without you here. I don’t have to coddle you, treat you like a baby. I just can’t bring myself to love you anymore.” 

Spencer was waking up in a cold sweat, his body jolting upwards on the mattress while his other hand was quickly, yet cautiously reaching beside him to feel his wife’s shoulder. The touch had Y/N stirring awake, a gentle frown on her face. “Spencer?” Her voice was filled with drowsiness, her hands slowly pushing her to sit up on her knees while her free hand was leaning over to turn on the bedside lamp. 

Any form of annoyance from drowsiness was wiped away when she noticed her husband’s state. His face was drenched in sweat, his chest was heaving from the impending anxiety attack, he was unable to talk as his body trembled. “Shh, hey.” Y/N whispered as she was shuffling closer, pulling back the duvet so she could carefully pull her husband into her arms. 

Her fingers were threading through the messy curls, a weak sigh leaving her lips as she could feel his arms tightly wrap around her torso, practically squeezing the life out of her.

“I’m here. It’s okay, baby, I promise. Luis dream again?” She asked softly, her lips pressing a kiss to the crown of his skull.

“You left.” His voice was hoarse, the tears joining in soaking his face the same way that the sweat had done over the course of the night. “Baby..” Y/N whispered while her fingers were lightly scratching over his scalp, her cheek resting against his head as she was being hugged tightly, as if she would disappear if Spencer let her go. “I’m not going anywhere. You know that.” Her words were dipped in that sweet assurance, her eyes slowly fluttering shut. 

Spencer faced enough people who abandoned him in his life with little to no explanation, she could never be added to that list. He spent three long and gruelling months in a maximum security prison for a murder that he was pushed into doing under the influence of a drug that Cat Adams and Lindsey Vaughn got their hands on. 

This wasn’t like he was a man who snapped and murdered an innocent woman because of deterioration of his sanity. He was absolutely nothing like the men and women he hunted down for his job, she tried to push that every time that she could. “You’re a good man, you know that. I would be a fool to leave you.” She said softly. 

As her body was eventually laying down against the mattress, she couldn’t help but smile once Spencer quickly followed her movements. Her legs were spreading in order to invite him between them, the male laying on top of her as his head was against her chest. “There we go..” She cooed softly, her fingers continuing to comb through the tousled curls. 

With his cheek now smashed against his wife’s chest, he listened to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. 

The drumbeat mixed his wife’s sweet words of assurance and the warmth of her love radiating against him was enough to have Spencer starting to drift off to sleep. 

How did he manage to get so lucky to have a woman who wouldn’t give up on him?

[callsign-rogueone]

deja vu - b.d.

Bodhi Durran x reader part of Bodhi and Darling's story 💗 words: 2.9k 🏷: set in the year before Fourth Wing (Bodhi’s first year). one tiny book spoiler but it’s not stated explicitly, hurt/comfort, anxiety, imagined character death (in a nightmare). mild dissociation, anxiety, nausea, fighting (challenge match), one very small injury, canon-typical peril and danger.

“I love you,” Bodhi rasps, closing his eyes. “I’m so… sorry…”

“No, no, hey, look at me,” you beg, hot tears slipping down your cheeks. “You’re gonna be okay, we’re getting you help, but you have to keep looking at me, okay?”

He doesn’t respond, doesn’t move or make any indication that he can hear you. He’s silent, perfectly still — he isn’t breathing. 

“Bodhi,” you cry, “Bodhi, please don’t leave me. Wake up, please.”

His heart has stopped beating. The love of your life, the man who had sworn to protect you, who you had sworn to love in sickness and in health and through the test of time, until the end of your days, is dead.

You feel like the air has been squeezed from your lungs, your breaths coming in choked sobs. 

“Wake, child,” someone interrupts — Sìoda. “It’s just a dream. It’s not real.”

You shake yourself awake, panting like you’d been running for miles. You look down at your palms, illuminated by the gentle moonlight filtering into the room -- they’re clean; not streaked with Bodhi’s blood. It was just a dream. Just a terrible dream, likely a product of the overactive imagination you’ve had your whole life, and your anxiety about the dragonkind exam you have tomorrow that you’re convinced you’re going to fail, despite spending all evening studying. 

“Your mate, and all of your brothers and sisters are safe in their beds,” she soothes, “as are mine.”

Oh. You still aren’t any good at shielding, so she’s been getting all of your emotions through the bond — you’d likely woken her up with your distress.

“I’m sorry,” you say in a guilt-ridden whisper. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

“Don’t apologize, my child. Just breathe.”

You mop up your tears with the sleeve of your pajama shirt, and focus on deepening your breaths, trying to relax your racing heart.

“There are still a few hours until formation,” she says gently. “Get some rest. You’ll need it.”

You lay back down, gazing at the wall of gray stone beside you, counting the bricks and trying to find patterns in the texture until the exhaustion overtakes you, and you fall back asleep.

Thankfully, your subconscious doesn’t torment you with any more cruel sights. You wake up to gentle November sunlight warming your skin and birds chirping — last month, a pair of doves had made a nest in the tiny alcove by your window.

You get dressed quickly, sorting out your hair and straightening your uniform. You’re in the middle of lacing your boots when there’s a knock at your door, the familiar rhythm that you know can only be Bodhi; like clockwork, he comes down the hall to get you every morning so you can walk to breakfast together.

You unlock the door with your mind, something you’ve been able to do for the last week, breathing a sigh of relief when he walks into the room unharmed and smiling. You hug him extra tightly, tucking your head into his neck and holding him a moment longer than usual, comforted by the steadiness of his breathing.

“You okay, Darling?” he asks, sounding concerned.

You hum in contentment. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

You don’t mention the dream, because nobody wants to hear about their own death, and it would be silly to bother him with something you’ve already gotten over — though you know the image of Bodhi bleeding out in your arms on the floor of that empty classroom will likely be burned into your brain forever.

He gives you an easy smile, shouldering your bookbag and gesturing for you to head out the door.

You’re comforted by the normalcy of the day. It’s almost too easy, too smooth.

Everyone is present and accounted for at breakfast, in good spirits — as good as they can be, in your current situation. Battle brief passes quickly, with no reports of catastrophe, though you know that they likely aren’t giving you all the information they have. The dragonkind test you’d been so worried about is much easier than you’d expected, and you have the rest of the afternoon off until dinner.

You don’t object as your squadmates suggest you use one of the empty common rooms to study in — the same one you’d seen in your dream. 

What would you even say? Sorry, guys, but can we pick somewhere else to be, because I had a nightmare last night that Bodhi died in this room? 

You shake it off, repeating Sìodha’s words in your mind as you crack open your textbook: It’s just a dream. It’s not real.

But then every word of the conversation going on around you starts to sound very familiar, like you’ve heard it before — like they’re reciting lines for a stage play.

It’s just a dream. It’s not real.

But this can’t be a coincidence. There’s too many similarities for comfort; the location, the timing — the sun is just starting to set — the exact page that each boy’s book is open to… you remember that, remember Sawyer’s book being open to a page with that same illustration.

“Have you done number four yet? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Let me see.”

You predict their replies with nearly perfect accuracy — because you’ve heard this exact conversation before.

What if it is real? What if you’re trapped in an endless loop like in one of the novels you’d read, where the leading lady has to live the worst day of her life over and over until she figures out how to change it? 

You could hardly bear to watch the light leave Bodhi’s eyes in that dream, and so help you gods, you are not going to see it ever again; you’re going to do something about it.

You’d read some theory in a philosophy book once that the flap of a butterfly’s wings can set off a chain of events that cause a hurricane. Would it be safer to stop this exact moment as it happens, or to interrupt now? Or was that dream really just a dream, and today will just be a normal day, or Basgiath’s version of normal, and you’re worrying over nothing?

“I don’t think that’s it. I think that’s the answer to number five, though.”

Those are the words. You’d almost missed them, too concerned about what’s going to happen in the next five seconds, but you should have just enough time if you act now. Sìodha seems to think so too, sending you a flood of urgency and panic.

You tackle Bodhi to the ground, wrapping an arm around his waist and putting a hand behind his head to cushion his fall as you both hit the floor. Your knuckles split on the impact, pain ripping through your hand, but all you can focus on is Bodhi underneath you — his eyes wide with shock, but still blinking up at you, his lips parted in a gasp, but not slick with blood, his heart racing, but not stopping. 

There’s a shout from beside you, the clatter of metal against stone, and the sounds of a brief struggle. Dain has the would-be assassin pinned in a matter of seconds, Sawyer helping him restrain her and haul her away, leaving you and Bodhi alone, still tangled up in one another on the floor, his eyes locked with yours.

He finally manages to form words, but not a complete sentence, still stunned. “What… How did you… What?”

“I saw this in a dream last night,” you answer, your voice wavering. “I saw you sitting right here with me, talking to Sawyer. You said that same sentence, and then there was a knife in your chest.” 

You look to your right, where it lays on the floor a few feet away — the exact shape and length as the one you’d dreamed of. “That knife.”

Bodhi’s eyes widen even further as he puts it together.  “I think that was your signet,” he breathes. “You’re a visionary.”

You finally let go of him, moving to sit by his side on the cold stone of the floor and staring blankly at the dagger. It had missed either of you by at least three feet, but had you acted a second later, or not at all… That doesn’t matter, you suppose. What matters is that Bodhi is alive; that you’d been able to save him, because you’d known what was going to happen and you altered course at the last second. 

You should be proud of yourself, but all you can think about is his words to you, and the implications thereof. If this is truly your signet, then you’ll have to watch this kind of thing happen over and over, and likely not just to Bodhi, but to the rest of your friends, too. But what if you can’t stop it next time? What if you see something happen to the twins? They’re a two-hour flight away, and you can’t abandon your post just because you had a dream that something bad happened to them. 

Will any of your dreams be just dreams anymore, or are you going to see all manner of terrible things every night for the rest of your life? How are you supposed to distinguish between dreams and reality, between the sleepy inventions of your subconscious, or the magic of your signet?

“I’m sorry, child. It is a powerful gift to have, but it can be quite cruel.”

You can hear Bodhi speaking, likely a thank you and some soft reassurances, but you don’t process the words. You don’t respond to either of them, still not fully convinced that this isn’t another dream.

The warmth of his hand on your arm starts to pull you out of that numbness. “Talk to me, darling.”

“I watched you die,” you whisper. “There was nothing I could do. I just had to hold you, until… I thought it was just a nightmare, but then it started happening in reality, and...”

You shake your head, eyes welling with tears that you try to blink away. You tell yourself that there’s no reason to be crying, no use when he’s standing in front of you, alive, breathing and talking and holding your hand, but you can’t stop the flood of emotion; confusion and relief and horror and several other things you can’t put a name to right now.

“Hey,” he coaxes, “look at me.”

You focus your gaze on him, on those soft brown eyes that still blink at you, the rise and fall of his chest.

“I’m okay,” he says softly, wrapping your hand around his wrist, mindful of your scraped knuckles. He positions your fingertips over his pulse, pressing them into the skin so you can feel the gentle beat of his heart. “I’m alive, because you saved me.”

You nod silently, warm tears slipping down your cheeks. 

He gathers you into a warm embrace, rubbing your back in soft, soothing motions. “I’m so sorry you had to see that, my darling girl. But the next time something like that happens, you tell me, okay? I don’t care if you wake me up at three in the morning, I want to be there for you.”

“Okay,” you whisper, resting your head against his shoulder.

“Good.”

You stay like this for a moment, just sitting with him and finding comfort in the warmth of his touch and the steadiness of his breathing.

“Do you want to go to the healers for your hand, or do you want me to wrap it up for you?”

“Want you to do it,” you answer softly, still feeling a little fragile. You don’t want to be away from him, even for a moment; you might work up the courage to ask if you can sleep in his bed tonight.

“Okay.” He presses a kiss to your temple, getting up to pack your bags.

Dain and Sawyer haven’t returned, likely still in Varrish’s office with the unbonded girl. You scribble a quick note to thank them, and to say that you’re done studying for the afternoon, leaving it on top of Dain’s book.

Bodhi picks up your bag, shouldering it along with his own.

He stops to pick up the dagger, sheathing it at his side, and you blink at him, confused. “You’re keeping it?”

“Of course I’m keeping it. It’s a memento of my first assassination attempt.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Only you could be so proud about someone wanting to kill you.”

He pulls you in closer, tucking you under his arm. “Not nearly as proud as I am of you. You should have seen it. I’ve never seen you move that fast in my life.”

Your cheeks warm in embarrassment, suddenly shy. “I was worried I’d lose you,” you say softly.

“You won’t ever lose me,” he soothes. “We made each other a promise, and I intend to keep it.”

“So do I,” you say quietly. “So do I.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You don’t have any more terrible dreams -- visions -- for the rest of the week, just a generalized sense of anxiety and insomnia, waiting for the next one and wondering what it’ll be, what terrible fate may befall one of your friends.

Each day that passes simultaneously soothes your anxiety and stokes it. If you aren’t dreaming of any terrible things, then they won’t happen, but what if you don’t dream them? What if you can’t see harm coming to them in advance, and thus can’t prevent it?

As soon as you enter the gym for Emeterrio’s class, it hits you again; that incredibly strong sense that something very bad is going to happen, very soon.

Bodhi sees your posture change, your normal relaxed and graceful presence tightening uncomfortably, and puts it together immediately, looking at you with concern.

“I have that feeling again,” you manage, forcing down the acid rising in your throat. “But this time, I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“It’ll be okay,” he soothes.

“You don’t know that,” you reply, still looking around, surveying the gym for anyone that could pose a threat to you or any of your friends, which happens to be every single person in the room. 

He takes your hand, and the feeling stops; vanishes completely, as if it was never there. Bodhi’s presence and his gentle touch have always been a comfort to you, often the only comfort you have, but nothing like that has ever happened before, a relief so intense and sudden.

Your gaze snaps to him, eyes widening. “How did you…”

He lets go, and the anxiety and nausea comes back in a tidal wave that nearly knocks you over. He lays a hand on your back to steady you, worried you’ll collapse, and the feeling dissipates again in the blink of an eye. Definitely not a coincidence.

“I think you turned it off,” you whisper. “When you let go, it came back.”

He blinks at you for a few seconds, processing. “Do you think that’s…”

“Laurent and Daneel,” Emeterrio calls.

Oh. That’s what you’re supposed to be worried about.

“Deep breath,” Bodhi prompts.

You inhale as deeply as you can before he moves his hand off of your back, and you aren’t hit with another tidal wave, just a normal, manageable level of anxiety appropriate for someone about to start a challenge match.

But as you step onto the mat, the anxiety fades into… something new. Confidence, like nothing you’ve ever felt before -- like you know you’re going to win this fight, without question, like it’s already been written down in the professor’s gradebook, and carved into history. 

Interesting.

You lower your head to your opponent in respectful acknowledgement, getting a snarl in response. Well, then. Maybe this will be harder than you’d thought -- but you still have that unshakeable feeling that you’re going to come out on top.

She makes the first move, a punch that you’re able to dodge easily. She tries again -- and you step to the side without thinking, avoiding the blow by a few inches.

You continue dodging and blocking, reacting naturally, almost subconsciously, not even thinking about your movements. 

You feel the same strange feeling you’d felt during the conversation leading up to Bodhi’s would-be assassination; you’d known all the words, knew what was going to happen because you’d seen it in a dream -- only you don’t remember dreaming any of this at all. It had been a total surprise that your name would be called with hers, the intense anxiety you’d felt being the only indicator, and even then, you’d been worried that it would be one of your friends in danger, not yourself.

Very interesting.

A slow smile spreads across your face as you realize exactly what is happening -- this is your signet at work, that familiar hum of power through your veins as you move, keeping you a few seconds ahead of everyone else in the room.

“You’ve had your fun,” Sìoda nudges, sounding amused. “Now end this, and end it well.”

The girl agrees. “Come on, you filthy fucking traitor! Fight me already!”

There’s a collective intake of breath from the quadrant as they wait for you to respond -- every eye in the gym is watching you, even the other cadets that are supposed to be fighting across the room, but you don’t move, don’t react to the comment, preparing for what’s going to happen next.

She hurls a dagger at you, enraged by your lack of engagement in this fight -- and your hand flies up to catch it, your fingers wrapping around the hilt and stopping it in midair.

Silence. Absolute dead silence.

You examine it for a second before you tuck it into your belt, looking back up at her. “Let’s fight, then.”

[josnhoes]

Platonic!Yan batfam with young adult reader. Part 4

[Part 3]

Note: Reader is 18-22 years old. Gn reader

Content warning: being treated like a child, being looked down on, stalking, obsessions, soft yandere but still a yandere, reader has memory issues and it's ambiguous as to why, delusional batfam, batfam as a whole basically view you as a child younger then Damien despite you being older, reader is questioned by police, reader witnessed a crime, reader tried to be a hero, violence, blood, mentions of death, dissociation, abduction

Focus Dick (Nightwing)

------

Life moved on after the incident with Redhood. He'd left early that morning leaving a note saying, 'See you soon Sparky -RH'. You didn't care to think of what the note could mean. So you burried the strange sense of foreboding that clawed in your mind at the note. Maybe the Gotham paranoia had gotten to you?

Either way, things in the next few days were normal...as normal as Gotham could be. The bat clan had put most of the heavy rollers back in Arkham at a record speed. No one knew if it was just the rogues being sloppy, or the bats were feeling a tad extra feral. You remembered when you first learned about Batman and his underlings; the idea of the police having feral furry themed vigilantes was funny. You'd thought your new neighbor was joking. But no, it was true, and after your personal run-ins with Robin and Redhood, you could confidently claim the group was feral and would punch God..any God really... given the chance. Which was what Gotham needed to be blunt.

It was nice though that you got out of the heart of Gotham sometimes. So you'd taken a day off to go to Bludhaven. It wasn't better than Gotham, but it was a change of place. The fact that a comic store was having a closing door sale was totally *not* the reason. It was.. but you were hoping to get something cool for cheap! Nerd stuff was expensive, and as a nerd, you knew that well.

The quest for a trinket wasn't supposed to end with you being brought into the local police station for questioning. You weren't part of a crime no, but you were a witness, *the* witness. A mugging gone wrong. Honestly the details were fuzzy, yet at the same time, key parts you couldn't forget. The feeling of the woman's heart fading as you held pressure on the stab wound. The wheeze in her voice as she struggled to breathe and tell you her final words. The way your body trembled as the paramedics arrived and carted her away to a hospital. The sensation of blood on your hands and skin, and the smell...

"You okay?" The police officer's voice pulled you from the spiral of your thoughts.

"I'm sorry what?" You were in a haze, shock most likely.

"I asked if you would be okay answering a few more questions. Detective Grayson just got here and wants to ask a few."

"Oh sure yeah..." the voice, no your voice spoke, but it didn't feel like you.

Dick Grayson walked into the room the officers had put you in. You weren't in trouble. A nearby camera had seen it all go down, but you were a vital witness, one who was clearly not well after what you saw. Dick didn't blame you for your state either. He...he should have been there. When Bruce had called telling him you were in Bludhaven, he was ecstatic to think he could meet you. He'd been planning a nice little meet cute styled thing to bridge a gap from a stranger to you to being besties. He was your eldest brother, the one you'd be able to rely on most. You'd love everyone in the family but you'd come to him first for everything. He could so easily picture it. The two of you staying up late, watching films and you opening up to him and feeling safe in his company. The inside jokes you'd have together, you'd both be thicker than thieves.

So seeing you as you were now was a reminder of just how fragile you were. You were in shock a really bad case of it too. Your eyes were distant as you struggled to answer the basic questions. You were shaking. You still had the victim's blood on your shirt too. He should have been there. Any of them should have, but you were in *his* turf so it should have been him. He should have gotten there before you had to see it. You shouldn't have had to apply pressure to a wound like that.

Your voice was hollow, he'd seen videos of you. Hollow is never something he could have pictured you as. You had so much life to you. Yet here you were in this state because of *his* failures; as Nightwing, a detective, and a big brother. What if it had been you? You would have died on his watch in his turf. He couldn't handle that right now.

He got the answers he could from you, then easily guided you out. He told his fellow workers he was taking you home. No one questioned it, Dick was a good guy and not the type to let a traumatized witness go home alone.

You didn't question him as he ushered you to his car, or where he was taking you when you hadn't told him where you lived. He wasn't sure you could do that right now. He wasn't lying saying he was taking you home... it just wasn't the home you'd have expected if you were more here. The room in the manor wasn't perfect, but you'd be safe there.

He brought you inside, and the family members at home seethed at him. He couldn't blame them, this was his fault. Cass took you with help from Alfred to get you cleaned up and put you to bed. His heart broke seeing how you just went with everything. Like you were aware enough to function on a base level and orders, but mentally? You were gone. Pulled into yourself, protecting yourself from the trauma that he'd caused. He should have been there.

[slutt4ellie]

Sacred Hearts Entwined

(Bare with me this is the first story i’ve ever written!)

Ellie Williams X Reader

masterslist

Part 2 -> ✞

Part 3 -> ✞

What do you do when you’re falling hopelessly in love with your childhood best friend?

Summery: You’ve been friends since 2nd grade first meeting in school. Growing up in a religious background you’ve always been taught the “right” way to think. So why are you falling in love with her..?

Warnings -> Mentions of the “d slur” / Parents are controlling / homophobia / Both extremely confused of their feelings / cheating / (lmk if I missed anything else!)

WC: 2.3k

(Did not proofread!!)

The girl who caught your eye since you were kids, Ellie Williams.

Age 6 (grade 2) -

You didn’t have much friends, after all it was only grade 2 and being popular was probably the least of your concerns, at least that’s what your mom constantly told you.

Growing up as a naturally shy kid, meant going outside of the box to talk to people wasn’t precisely your idea of “fun”! That’s why you often dissociated, it seemed easier that way? So, as soon as the bell rang for recess you would go to the back of the playground where no one else sat watching the different animals the would scale the trees while the birds would flow through the sky.

But today was a different day, as you did that normal routine a girl sat beside you, freckles that trailed all around her face and light green eyes that shined in the sun with auburn hair which ended up being almost bright red in the sun.

“Do you like watching the animals too?” She asked fairly quietly looking at her hands, you sorta look at her and nod, to nervous to talk..

Age- 7 (grade 3) -

You shortly did learn her name after that moment, Ellie Williams. To be fair you actually started learning almost everything about her. She’s an only child, loves spending most of her time doing art or playing outdoors, she’s way more extroverted then you ever could be, and she has a pet dog named Max.

You and Ellie almost spent all your time together if not at her house playing outside then you guys would be cooped up in your basement finding new board games while your mother cooked dinner for you guys upstairs. Coming out of your shell with her seemed easier then other people, she made it easy. After all she didn’t get easily bored of my shyness through the beginning.

Age 10 (grade 6) -

“Okay push!!” Ellie groans pushing a trash bin closer to the convenience store ladder which leads to the roof. “Ellie this is dumb” You say on the opposite side using your back to help her push it. “Just relax! Once we get up there, then we can practically see the whole town!” She smiles continuing to push it “But if we get caug-“ You can’t even finish your sentence before she talks “We won’t get caught!” She says as the trash bin finally reaches the end of the brick wall.

“K boost me!” Ellie smiles walking up beside you as you slowly crouch resting your back on the cold metal trash bin, you put your hands in a cuff which Ellie’s foot rest in as you lift her up. She’s not even standing on the trash bin for more then 10 seconds before the bottom gives out and she falls feet first in the bagged trash “Ag fuck! Help!” Ellie groans trying to lift herself out.

You burst out laughing not even grabbing her hands to help her up and out, but now she yells “Help me!!” You’re still cackling as she practically falls out “Eww now you smell weird!” You laugh getting away from her “Oh yeah you want a hug?” Ellie says chasing after you as you run away into the distance.

Age 14 (Freshman year) -

“It’s bullshit!” Ellie says annoyed “They didn’t care about signing us up for a catholic school for the last 10 years” Ellie says kicking in her new shoes she got for her uniform “Maybe just a change of heart” You shrug almost accepting it “You barley even care” Ellie says looking at you “Us pouting isn’t gonna change our parents mind, the decision is final now?”

“I don’t wanna even go, I look really dumb in a skirt.” Ellie holds it up disappointed “Ellie you look fine in a skirt” You sorta smile looking at her “I don’t, I rather just wear the pants.” Ellie groans sliding her hands down her face dramatically “Well I think you look good?” You say partially because you want her to stop whining about it but mainly because you mean it.

Age 15 (grade 10) -

“So you’re going with Alex then?” Ellie ask looking at you as you read a book “I mean yeah he asked it would be weird not to go?” You sorta shrug “K..? I- We just always made fun of people who went to the dances, I just didn’t except you to suddenly change?” Ellie says, she wants it to seem like she doesn’t care but she’s genuinely doing a horrible job covering it. “I guess I didn’t get the impression you cared so much?” An annoyed tone leaking through your voice.

“I don’t.” Ellie says almost coldly adding on a few seconds later. “I’m probably gonna dip, my parents want me home soon anyway.” Ellie says standing up. You sorta just wave also not in the mood it’s been a long day and you don’t wanna fight with Ellie over a stupid thing like going to the dance with someone.

16 (grade 11) -

The moment where the story starts to go downhill, well this is it. You got together with Alex a few weeks after the dance and you’ve been together all summer. Leaving little time for Ellie, and don’t get me wrong! It’s not like it’s purposefully happening, it’s just the fact that you’re both at 2 different points and spending all your time with the person you’ve previously been doing that with for 10 years isn’t exactly on your top priority list. Ellie’s also just been weird around you, she doesn’t like it when Alex is brought up occasionally sighing every time he’s even mentioned or going on about how she can’t see you guys going beyond high school. And at this point you finally talk “You say it like you’re fucking jealous?” You say a bit pissed off.

“Why the fuck would I be jealous?” Ellie claps back. “I don’t know Ellie! Please you tell me, every time I bring him up it’s like the idea of me dating someone repeals you, I don’t get why you’re not happy for me!”

“Who ever said I wasn’t happy for you” Ellie says now no longer walking so she can actually look at you in the face. “You just imply it constantly, like am I missing something, did he do something??” You say actually wanting to hear her opinion, why she hates him. Ellie chokes up though, wanting nothing to do with the real reason she doesn’t like Alex.

“Because I-“ She stops, and switches what she was going to say. “Because me and you barley hang out anymore, last summer all we did was go to each others houses and now you have 0 time for me!” She sorta yells. “Because Ellie I have a boyfriend? Did you not except us to grow up?” You now yell back, this whole argument is picking up fast. “I expected you to have the fucking decency to hang out with me once in awhile, you think i’m some girl who’s just obsessed with you and it’s getting old” Ellie says hurt that becoming evident when her voice cracks. “Ellie I didn’t say-“ You can’t finish your sentence because she talks. “It’s fine we can hang out later.” She says turning around and walking away.

To be fair half of you wants to chase after her, talk to her like you used to before you guys even started high school, but you don’t. This isn’t a movie after all.

(Present: Saturday)

You and Ellie haven’t talked in about 4 days since the little fight, the annoying part of it is the fight wasn’t even that serious, it’s just neither of you know where to start.

Throughout your friendship there’s only been a few fights, none of them being at all important, dumb stuff like you never gave each others clothes back or broke a toy. Never something like this, something that actually had meaning.

You don’t even understand why it bothers Ellie so much that you’re dating Alex, she’s your best friend, if anything she should support it, you would support her? As of now though you’re trying to do everything in your power to completely ignore the fact you guys even had a fight, as long as she doesn’t talk to you and you don’t talk to her it’s fine! Right…?

That’s at least how you thought about it, avoiding it seemed like the best situation at the end of the day because you never had to confront the problem, you did that a lot. When you were 7 and broke a glass cup, the way you solved it was hiding it in between the tiny opening between your counter and oven. Which actually ending up working..till your brother found it and immediately snitched.

Tonight though there was a perfect distraction, there was a party and half the school was going to be there, I mean it was a safe assumption saying Ellie wasn’t going to be. She hated parties, she said “It’s like a bunch of toddlers in a room, not really anything fun about that?” Which wasn’t completely false but she rarely let loose and actually drank.

Tonight’s plan was to get blackout drunk, forget Ellie, forget school, just forget everything as of now, and just hang out with the guy you loved..?

Because you love Alex how could you not?? He plays football, is popular, has a bunch of friends, treats you nice! You would be insane not to like him!! So why does everything with him feel so stale and forced? Shit now you’re thinking to much about this, Ellie is just getting in your head.

So when it was 11pm and your boyfriend Alex picked you up you made sure to make him the only thing on your mind, hanging around him, being touchy, anything to convince you that you love him. “Baby can you get me a drink” He ask smiling kissing your cheek “Yeah of course” You smile walking over to the kitchen grabbing a red solo cup filling it up with punch when as you look up, there she in. Ellie..

“Real gentleman you picked out.” Ellie says sarcastically drinking out of her red solo cup clearly tipsy if not drunk. “What..” You sigh looking up at her.. “I said real gentlemen. I mean because he’s grabbing your drinks and all!” She smiles looking at you right in the eyes.

“Why the fuck do you suddenly care so much Ellie.” You say annoyed looking at her. “I don’t care I just know you could do better..” She shrugs looking at her red solo cup the confidence disappearing after that sentence. “Who’s the magical person who’s better for me then Ellie?” You look up at her

Ellie sorta shrugs. She wants to say her but she rather skip on border school because her stupid crush on you, if her parents found out Ellie would be kicked out in a matter of seconds. “I don’t know, just someone better” you just slowly nod as Ellie finishes her sentence “Thanks for that great speech Ellie.” Ellie grabs you arm as you try and leave. “When did you start settling for low?” Ellie ask looking at you “Fuck you” You push her.

Ellie pushes you back “You’ve changed” You quickly shoot back “You act like you fucking like me!” you say probably to loud “You seem like a dyke Ellie.” You don’t even know why you said that!..well you sorta do. It was to cover your own ass, it was better to say that then “I think i’m in love with you Ellie”. Ellie almost immediately steps back and walks out which prompted you to follow “Ellie I didn’t fucking- fuck.” You can’t even finish your sentence before she’s gone, at this point you’re almost sure you just fully screwed up your whole friendship.

(Sunday 3:47am)

You can’t fall asleep knowing you called Ellie that, it was a heat of the moment and you didn’t even fucking mean it, it felt so much easier then admitting you think you love her? What if she didn’t feel the same when, then the whole school knows you like girls and next thing you know your parents find out and you’re getting sent to a border school to be “corrected”! Fuck, fuck, fuck. You get out of your bed throwing on a t shirt and sweatpants, what are you even doing??

You quickly sneak out your window and start running to Ellie’s house which is about a 7 minute normal walk. As you run up you notice that Ellie’s bedroom light is on, so sneakily climb up onto the roof, you used to do that a lot during summer after your mom would say no to a sleepover but once you climb up Ellie’s window you lightly knock on it.

After about a minute and a half she opens the window and sees it’s you almost immediately shutting it. Before Ellie can shut it though she puts her palm on the window. “Ellie can we talk” You ask genuinely nervous she might say no.. “No, i’m studying?” Ellie completely lies but she just needs a shitty excuse “Ellie it’s Sunday can I just come in. Please.” At this point it’s like your begging and Ellie eventually opens the window fully. You step in looking at her “I’m so sorry” you say almost immediately “Mhm” Ellie replies, she doesn’t wanna here stupid ass sorry’s

“Ellie” You say looking at her.

And as soon as Ellie looks up you lean forward and kiss her. Ellie moves her hands on your face and you do the same..

But that moment is cut almost immediately right after when Ellie’s father walks in..

A/N -> I hope this is okay for my first post!! I’ve been reading on tumblr for about a month now and I thought making something could be interesting. I might make a part 2 depending on if I feel like it considering this story ends on a cliff hanger 😭

[borwski]

spymaster, becoming the doctor, and gardening – a little character study

anyone else obsessed with the master and margarita short story?? no?? just me?? oh well you’re getting a character analysis anyway, long rant about spymasters obsession with the doctor via mushrooms under the cut :3

tw for dissociation and substance induced hallucinations (weird ahh mushrooms as torture)

for those of you who haven’t read the master and margarita (i def recommend its super fun) it’s about what dhawan!master was doing during his 77 years on earth in that time skip during spyfall 2. he’s a mushroom farmer in russia, crazy hijinks and thoschei references ensue. maybe i’m going too deep into it but i really love the idea of him as a gardener and what that implies for everything we see in ttc/potd

i’d like to start with the fact that out of all the masters, dhawans is the one least confident in his identity. classic who masters and saxon held their title with pride with their “he’s the master and you will obey him” shtick. missy, even when she was debating her morality, never saw herself as anything other than missy. her title wasn’t being questioned, it was what she chose to do with it. meanwhile, spymaster just... loses himself after looking into the panopticon. he’s faced with the reality that the doctor is more important than he could ever be, and given that he sees his worth as interwoven with hers (the history between us, constantly refers back to their past/when they were equal), this makes him lose all sense of self. it used to be theta and koschei. the doctor and the master. now it’s just the timeless child and….. that’s it. there’s no significant place for him in her life. what’s he supposed to do now, when he’s based his whole history around her?

easy! fracture himself into different personalities, hide behind disguises (i mean, THREE disguises in one episode? calm down dude) in an attempt to hide his unimportance. while the timeless child is the story of child abuse and colonialism, a hurt the doctor will have to live with even if she can’t remember it, the master sees it as a triumph. he is lesser. she is the timeless child and she has existed forever and he is some dumb timelord who fell in love and meant nothing to her in the long-run. he feels like he’s not deserving of being in his own skin anymore so he hides behind whatever name and personality he can find.

but the thing about all his disguises is that they are so human. agent o, a shy little analyst at MI6 with the wide eyed stare and wits to be the doctor’s companion. rasputin, famous bachelor and a piece of history the doctor would notice. he says he despises humans but he dresses up as them because well, do you know who does love them? the doctor :(

which is why his name and intentions in the master and margarita are soooo so interesting to me. first off, his human alias is mikhail (“son of god”, writer of the og master and margarita) afanasyevich (“immortal”, also the og writer of master and margarita) gospodinov (roughly translated to “lord” and “master”). he steals a name, just like rasputin in potd, with a lot of weight on who he is right now. an emphasis on “immortal” “time lord” when hes dealing with the pressure of ttc. hes basically copying the doctor and making a title for himself like the ‘timeless child’ to feel equal again. it’s not the only time he copies the doctor either, hes basically working for “evil russian unit” in this short story. 

(remind you of anything?? yes im talking about the doctor-master. super cool foreshadowing on how hes been trying to become/be one with the doctor before potd)

and it’s literally in the text. the whole reason he spends months cultivating mushrooms for russia is to change history a bit so that jo grant’s marriage will be ruined. such a Doctor thing to do, kind of parallels clara and danny. to love a human is to be overly dramatic over them. the master, again, uses humans for his own benefit but has never been overly fond of them, with the exception of the doctors little companions. hes copying her again.

but the thing is, he keeps cultivating them. he gains a love for caring for them. mushrooms are just mushrooms until they arent. in a time where he thinks he’s the doctors opposite, he begins farming mushrooms bc of jo grant, a detail the doctor would remember just bc he misses her. he couldve spent his time escaping and getting back to his regular timeline to defeat the doctor, but he stayed. because of a human attachment. very doctor-y.

and if that bit of nostalgia wasn’t enough, he even hallucinates the third doctor in this. Which. okay. give me a non-thoschei explanation for this.

i just really like what that short story has to offer as far as the masters obsession with other people and his disguises go. and what it means for him to spend months of his live caring for something, like the doctor would, when all hes done before is kill. what does it mean for the champion of death to cultivate life :(

nyways, if you made it this far, i really hope you enjoyed !! i just love talking about spymaster can you tell lmfaooo and if you liked any of this id recommend reading the gardener by ritheh on ao3 which expands on his whole “killer heals for once” thing its soooo good <33 ok bye see u guys next time

[sicariodechinchulines]

Damijon headcanon: Dami doesn't flirt, he COURTS.

•We tend to forgot WHERE and HOW Damian was raised. He just doesn't get the concept "Highschool sweetheart". when he first mentioned that, they were at a gala.

"-Im not interested on playdates, that's a waste of time.-" and they nodded because that's SOOO him, but then... "-If someone is interested on my being and dare to ask for my hand, I expect them to be ready for marriage. If not, then is just to be mean a ephemeral game that I won't even bother to remember, they shouldn't either."

Unnecessary to say that reporters we're so fucking excited with that response, so much that they didn't notice Dick Grayson hanging from a chandelier.

• and yes, he had a girlfriend before, even shared some kisses with other ladies and acted like a gentleman for them, but the truth is: he didn't take them seriously.

• Dami was ready for living alone and single, that's not the big deal, but Jon appeared again, and things started to get weird... in an amusing and warming way. Jon was now a mature good looking man, strong and good-natured as always. The little naive and childish boy was gone, and now was a man; a man worthy of his attention, in any areas.

• Without saying ANYTHING about his feels, he started to court Jon in the way he learned was appropriate, the problem is: Jon Kent is not a lady.

AND IS NEITHER SINGLE.

• Flowers, luxurious gifts and expensive jewelry. People started to suspect if Jon became some type of sugar baby for Damian, but when is questioned, Jon unsuspecting, answer "I don't know, rich people are weird"

• yes, people, Damian does HOLD the doors open for Jon, while ignoring the people behind, usually ending on them smashing their faces with the door.

• They rarely travel on cars, but when they do, Dami open the door for him; the bats are BEWILDERED by that.

• Needless to say that Jay DOES want to beat the shit out of him. (I don't blame him, if a sort of Arabic prince- heir of one of the biggest fortune in the world- a fucking Robin is trying to conquer MY boyfriend, I would love to beat the shit out of him too.)

Even if he's mad at him, don't see the point on competing with a child, because after all he's not even 15.

• Everyone knows that this boy is weird in SOOO many ways, but waiting 4 years until the object of your courtship is legally able to touch you, is little to much... even for Superman, who lost his virginity in his late twenties.

• Clark never say anything about that matter, first because he doesn't want to feed rumors, and second..

Because if he ADMIT that he would be okay with Damian marrying his son, Batman will KILL HIM.

•Even if he is worried about the future that Damian and Jon hold as best friends or partners, he can't denied that Damian devotion to Jon is cute.

Sorry but Clark is a hopeless romantic who loves his wife DEEPLY

(and he doesn't like Jay at all, he doesn't knows him as much he would like, neither is happy with the amount of info about his son that is on internet now thanks to jay's activism... but this ray of sunshine don't talk about that because, wHAT IF HE IS BEING HOMOPHOBIC OR SOMETHING?? Don't want to stress his boy with that.)

• after the SHOW Damian Wayne gave at that gala talking about his expectations on a partner and the PROPER way of courtship, the rumors about the younger Wayne being a heartbreaker like his father were over. NOW, they love to talk about how amazing and romantic Damian would be as a boyfriend.

When in an interview, a reporter mentioned Tim Drake-Wayne the titular "The teens dream: A prince like Damian Wayne. His thoughts about dating and how court a lady" he dissociated for 1 whole minute.

• the worst-best come now. Still hanging from that titular a journalist did DARE to ask about PRE-MARITAL SEX. (yes, Bruce demanded that journalist, yes, Bruce won.)

"- Isn't obvious? I'm against it, at least for myself. I don't find shame on waiting the proper person to lost your virginity with... even if I fall in love with SOMEONE who isn't virgin anymore, I'll wait anyway."

And yes, that was a hint for Jon. Jon didn't get it, but the press did.

It was funny how teen boys were so spiteful towards him and how teen girls were so delighted. Damian set the bar so high for Gotham boys.

• even with all the gifts and flowers and food, Jon is the ONLY ONE who don't notice. His mother did, his father did, Batman, Redhood, RedRobin and Nightwing DID, even StARFIRE AND THAT'S A LOT. a night after a mission she just said "Correct me if I'm wrong... but the little Robin is courting Superman according his culture standards, isn't?" And the whole Bat Boys just stared.

"That's adorable... a little gentleman!"

• They usually cuddle. It was hard for Jon getting used to it after YEARS gone, but Damian was weirdly okay with it, even pleased Jon can say.

But there was something unsettling. He don't cuddle him as before, instead he do it in a way that makes Jon feel incredibly conscious about himself, but safe anyway.

Damian does it on purpose, holding Jon head close to his chest when they are on the couch, caressing the side of Jon's jaw and lightly touching his temple.

If Jon is being lucky and Damian too tired, he will press his nose against his curls and close his eyes, answering anything with a lazy "mmh"

• Bruce is worried. He's not Clark, he's not tHAT optimistic. He knows his son and how unhinged and dangerous he can be, and see this said devotion as a time bomb. What if Jon is not that good??? Or Damian manage to CONQUER the teen's heart and decide to guide him into a darker path???? Jon probed that he can DIE for him in most of one occasion, Damian is starting to act the same and is unsettling.

Sorry if isn't readable, my mother language is Spanish and i learned English from comics, translator and weirdly poetic AO3 p0rn. If you're that kind, please point out my mistakes or care to give me an advice so I can better my grammar, ty so much!!!!

[writersblog20]

I got you, baby girl

Pedro Pascal x reader

Summary: After a traumatic event, Pedro came in to make sure you felt safe again. You’re his baby girl after all.

Warnings: rage from the reader, hints to a bad household but no clear mention. A horrible father and stepmother, intimidation, (life) threats, mention of no safety, mention of the system failing the reader, ptsd, trauma, dissociating, edibles, dad jokes with Pedro, Reader calls Pedro old man (no offense, it’s part of an ongoing joke war in the story), Pedro being some sort of father figure vibes, wholesome relationship with Pedro, age-gap.

Words: 3,9K

A/N: So eh…. Something traumatic happened yesterday and this is what it’s based on the only thing different is that Pedro is in this. But yeah, I just really want and need him to comfort me because I’m seriously going through hell right now and yes I’m using the line from joel from the last episode from TLOU

 I got you, baby girl

You went to school and had a pretty good day. You felt alright and had a little bit more energy. You texted Pedro, like you guys always do. He was your co-star and you could say you had a pretty wholesome relationship. Kind of like Bella and Pedro have. You were great friends with Bella as well when Pedro introduced the two of you. Anyway, Pedro lived near you so the two of you spent time with each other as much as you could. He really was your comfort space and you loved him so much.

You walked into your classroom and it was going to be a long day but that was fine. You had an assignment and that would be: make a after movie from the event which would take up the whole day and evening but like I said, you were ready and gladly took the job.

The day went by fast and you went outside after the lessons to get some fresh air but that was when you saw her. The wife of your father. The one who did horrible things to you as a child. She did that besides your father. She was just as guilty. You immediately got on edge and went to fight or flight mode and yours was fight. And boy, did you want to fight her. The rage you felt was out of this world and you would happily sent her ten feet underground. It wasn’t that she would ignore you… Oh no… she was way worse, just like your dad and test you. She would always smirk at you and watch you. That made it always ten times worse because you wanted to bash her head in. First do all this shit to you as a child, getting away with it because the system failed you and then would always smirk at you when she would see you. It was like the biggest slap in the face because it told you everything you needed to know. “Yeah I did that and yes I got away with it. what are you going to do about it?” kind off smirk.

You walked back inside, completely in shock and that was when you realized that the event you needed to film, was why she was here. “Fuck….” You thought in utter shock as your body started to tremble, your eyes getting watery and your breathing became rapid. You texted Pedro about the situation and he knew a couple of things about your father. Just some snipped, important snippets nonetheless.

You texted Pedro but you knew he was in a meeting and probably wouldn’t respond right now. One of your teammates who walked outside with you, advised you to go to one of your teachers, preferably mentor. So you did.

You knocked on the door and walked in, sitting in front of your mentor as you spilled what was going on. You wished to never tell anyone here but you had no choice right now. You told the most important things but still wanted to do the assignment. You told her that you were scared that she might contact your father and that he would wait outside for you. He was a dangerous man and unpredictable. You never expected this to happen. You closed this chapter a long time ago and thought you might never see them again because you haven’t seen them for at least 2 years so you thought they moved or something but apparently not and now he knew what school you went to…

Your mentor gave you advise for what you could do if you felt uncomfortable or something would happen, where you could go and to who. You were deadest on doing this assignment. You wanted to because you never want them to take something else from you away, even if it would be this dumb project. It was the principle for you. There were moments where you teared up a couple of times but pushed those emotions away as much as you could, only to notice that it was getting harder with the second.

When you were done with the conversation, you and your teammates gathered the gear and started to get ready, only to be interrupted by your mentor and one of your other teachers, asking you to come with them. So you did. You felt a heaviness in the air, how could it not but you tried to stay as professional as you could because that was how you kept your emotions under control. Like you wanted to say, you know what, it’s not that big of a deal, forget about it.

But you knew. You knew this was a big deal and not something to take lightly, even though you really wanted to take this lightly so you could dissociate from it. Yeah, not a good copings mechanism. You sat down and the air got thicker and thicker with the second, almost making it unbearable to breath. Your heart was pounding in your chest.

Maybe you took it so lightly because you were already dissociating. You weren’t thinking clearly anymore and was very much led by your emotions, which is understandable. You teacher started speaking up. “Y/N, I’m really sorry to tell you this but I think it’s better for you to go home… We can’t guarantee your safety here. We know you’re strong and you want to do this assignment but there will be more to come so you don’t have to worry about that. But I think it’s the best to go home. Not only for your physical safety but also for your mental safety and to avoid conflict. I’m very sorry…”

She spoke softly but you felt your heart break in to a million pieces. You understand where they are coming from but the point is, that it’s even necessary and how fucking unfair it is. They did things to YOU and now YOU HAD to go home. Why did the system fail you? Why do you have to leave and not them. Why do you have to fight for your mental health because of things THEY did to you. Why can they live without any consequence? IT’S THEIR FUCKING FAULT AND NOW YOU HAD TO LEAVE. That was it. You felt so much injustice and it broke you down. You started crying and couldn’t stop.

They looked with sympathy at you and you hated it. You hated this conversation, you hated the people who did this and you hated this look. It was always the look. That’s why you didn’t want to tell people. You know they mean well and of course you would feel like shit even if they wouldn’t give you that look. It was just the unfairness. They took something from you, once again. Your mentor softly rubbed your knee. You even had to go through the fucking backdoor. You felt your phone buzz and look who it was. Pedro. Or in your phone: Pedge. You picked up, needed to hear him. That was the only thing you wanted right now. You needed Pedro.

“Sweetheart, what’s going on?” Extreme worry laced in his voice. You started to tear up as you looked up at your teachers. “Could you maybe pick me up?” The cracks in your voice with the tremble was undeniable. “Are you still at school?” you hummed and let out a soft sob. “I’m on my way, stay there sweetheart.” You hang up and the teachers stayed with you until you got a text from Pedro, telling you where he was parked.

Your mentor walked with you with two security guards. The fact that this was necessary was heartbreaking. Pedro immediately got out of his car when he saw you. His face plagued by worry, anxiety and wanted to comfort you, keep you safe and protected. He picked up his pace, his eyes never leaving his face and you felt yourself crumble down with each step Pedro got closer to you.

Tears slipping on your cheeks when Pedro got to you and pulled you in the biggest and tightest hug. The people from school took a step back, giving you some space. You started to sob uncontrollably and your whole body was shaking. Pedro got out of the hug and placed his large hands on your cheeks. “Hey, look at me. it’s me. It’s okay, it’s okay baby girl.I got you. I got you baby girl.” He told you when he pulled you in a hug again. “I got you, you’re safe now. I got you.” You’ve never heard his voice this soft before. He was so gentle and you were so fragile at the moment.

“Let’s get you home baby girl.” He whispered, making you nod while you hid your face in his neck, smelling his cologne which made you feel a bit safer and calmed you down. Pedro took your backpack with your laptop and gear in it from you and hang it on his shoulder. His other arm over your shoulder, pulling you close to the side of his body. He said some things to your teacher, which you didn’t hear. You were very much dissociating right now. Pedro softly led you to his car, never taking his eyes off you.

He knew you were in for a ride now. Yeah you were safe now and stuff but the after effect, was what was going to be tough. You were extremely triggered in your ptsd. Pedro helped you in the car and slightly leaned over you to put the seatbelt on while you stared in front of you with, at the moment, no emotions behind your eyes. very much like a doll right now but that is dissociation huh.

Pedro was driving to his house, yet keeping a close eye on your while you silently cried. Just tears running down at this point. When you arrived at Pedro’s house, he helped you get out of the car and led you in the house, his arm still around you.

He placed your backpack on the table when you sat down on the couch, still having trouble processing this. Pedro sat down next to you and pulled you into side. One arm behind you and the other around you, caressing your head as he softly pulled your head towards his chest. You broke down at that point, just completely and franticly crying your eyes out while Pedro softly rocking you back and fort while he shushed you and whispered comforting words in your ear.

After 45 minutes, Pedro finally managed to calm you down. Your breathing started to slow down again and the crying started to get less and less. You felt exhausted. Mentally and physically. “There you go. There you go sweetheart. You’re doing so well princesa.” He cooed you. Your eyes were puffy and completely red at this point. “Let’s get you some tea. You need to hydrate.” He told you and only let go of you when you got out of the hug. Your back and sides started to hurt because it wasn’t the most comfortable position in the world so you got out of the hug. Pedro reluctantly let go of you, awaiting your next move.

Pedro cupped your cheeks and softly, gently wiped away the last remaining tears from your cheeks while giving you a soft, loving and gentle smile. You softly smiled back but you both knew it wasn’t a real one. He softly planted a kiss on your forehead and pulled you into another hug. His hand behind your neck, softly placing your head against his chest as he let out a soft sigh as he started to relax himself now, knowing that your safe. He was extremely worried and stressed about you but now that he had you in his arms, that fear became a little less.

Pedro got out of the hug and reached out his hand for you to take. You walked hand in hand towards the kitchen where he started to make some tea. “Let’s go upstairs and get you into something comfortable and wash your face right now baby girl.” Every time he called you baby girl, you felt more and more safer and calmer.

While the tea was waiting to boil, you both walked upstairs. You’ve been here many times when you would accidently fall asleep on his couch and he would bring you upstairs to lie you down in his bed while he slept on a couch in his room. When you would wake up in the middle of the night and find him there, you woke him up to just get in the bed with you. Nothing behind it, just sleep. He didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but he could never do that.

Anyways, you’ve been here many times by now. Pedro got some of his comforting clothes out of his closet and gave you a hoodie and joggings with some warm socks. You walked in the bathroom and looked in the mirror, only to see yourself completely broken in the mirror. It looked like you’ve been through hell. Well, you kind of did since all the flashbacks from years prior came back obviously.

You got changed and washed your face before walking back. Pedro was patiently waiting for you as he sat on the edge of the bed, looking at his hands. He quicky looked up at you when you exited the bathroom. He stood up, worry still visible on his face while he awaited your reaction. You walked towards him and placed your arms around him for a hug. You felt his arms around you and gently tighten around you as he lingered his lips on the top of your head.

“How about, we get some tea, get high, watch a stupid movie and order your favorite take- out, with the dessert obviously and you stay here for tonight and take a day off tomorrow hmh? You need your rest baby.” You nodded softly, only to tear up again. “That sounds really nice, I’d like that.” You could just cry about anything at this point. “Then we’ll do that. And don’t you worry about a thing okay? That’s my job.” You softly chuckled but you knew what he meant. He meant that he would take care of whatever would come your way.

You walked downstairs and looked outside, only to see a snowstorm going on right now. Pedro lit the fireplace as you sat silently on the couch. Pedro went to the kitchen to get some tea for you and to put your plushy heating pad in the microwave. You started to stare in front of you again until Pedro came back into his Livingroom. He placed the tea on the table and gave the plushy to you with a soft smile. He got a blanket from the corner of the couch and placed it around your shoulders and sat next to you.

You always had the corner of the couch at Pedro’s house and so now and then you shared it with him. Or well, he just sat next to you in the corner and you were perfectly fine with that. So this time was for obvious reasons no different. You were waiting for him to get comfortable before you did because you wanted to cuddle. Pedro held his arm out for you and you laid against his side, your head resting just above his heart with your arm around him. “You got the edibles by the way?” you asked when you remembered but already heard Pedro chuckle above you and gave you the candy.

You both took it and he got the tv remote searching for funny videos. You guys were easy since you both had the same humor so when you would find something, you shared it with him and the other way around. You both easily sent a lot of tiktoks to each other. It was your love language and Pedro figured that out pretty quick.

You rested against Pedro again and he softly cradled your head and chuckled softly at the videos being played on his tv, making you chuckle softly as well which Pedro noticed and dramatically gasped. “Are YOU laughing at this?” Sarcasm and a playful tone lingering on his words. “Are you??” you chuckled a bit more when he poked your side before chuckling himself as you squealed.

After a while the edibles started to kick in and you finally reached your relaxing point. You were at this point rolled up in the blanket. “Let’s order some food” Pedro remarked and laughed a little when he saw you. “My little sad burrito.”  He told you with sympathy yet playfully. You giggled slightly and Pedro held his phone in front of you so you could choose what to eat. You chose on sushi and Pedro ordered a whole bunch of stuff and obviously, desserts.

The two of you were more slouched down into the couch and Pedro more to your side at this point, cuddling up together. You both almost fell asleep until the doorbell rang. Pedro jumped up. “Fuck, I forgot.” He mumbled more to himself while he struggled to get up, making you chuckle slightly.

Pedro got back inside with three full bags full of food. The smell hit your nose and your tummy started growling, making Pedro chuckle softly. You got out of your cocoon and helped him placing the food on the small table in front of the couch. When everything was set, you both sat down on the carpet on the floor. “Thank you Pedge..  for everything.” You told him and Pedro stopped eating for a sec and looked at you. “Baby girl, it’s no problem at all, you know that right? I’m here for you, you don’t have to do it alone anymore.” He told you and softly placed his hand on the back of your head and softly pulled your head towards him so he could kiss the top of your head. You smiled softly and Pedro knew that this too, was a part of your love language.

After dinner and some desserts, you were completely content. You and Pedro cleaned the table and placed the left overs in the fridge before plopping back down on the couch. At this point the edibles reached a point where you both would laugh at everything. Or at least, you both had that effect on each other and it almost started a war from who can make the other laugh the most. So that happened on set and interviews, red carpets etc.

Pedro got your plushy again and placed it in his microwave and gave it back to you when it was warm enough. You started watching some compilation of tiktok videos on his tv and both couldn’t stop laughing. Laughing even harder at the next video so at a point you both were in tears from laughing so much. You wiped away your tears and looked at Pedro who laid stretched out on the couch, his head against your shoulder as he tried to stop laughing but failing miserably and making you laugh because of him.

It was dark outside, the whole street covered by the snow, only for more to come as the storm picked up. For some reason you always felt comforted and safe when it snowed. It made you feel like you were in a tiny snow globe where nothing could hurt you so imagine how safe, comforted and protected you felt now.

All of a sudden you just felt like giving Pedro a hug so you did. You wrapped your arms around Pedro and held him tightly. Pedro was taken back by surprise and was scared for a moment that you felt bad again. It took him a moment to respond but when he did, he quickly placed his arms around you and held you tightly while his lips rested on your head. “You okay baby girl?” he asked gentle, making you nod. “Yeah… because of you. Thank you. I know I said it before but I mean it. thank you.” He knew what you meant. You loved him and this was your way of saying so. “You’re more than welcome. You’re my baby girl, don’t forget that.” His voice still soft and kissed the top of your head multiple times.

When you got out of the hug, but still kept physical contact by laying on his chest again. At this point you both laid down completely. “Not to ruin this moment, but my back is killing me.” you chuckled at the way he said it. “Yeah, yeah you laugh about that. Come knocking at my door when you get my age, then we’ll talk” He said playfully. “Want to watch a movie in bed old man?” you chuckled, playfully teasing him as a dramatic gasp left his lips. “Did you just called me an old man? I’m offended!” You got up from the couch and reached out your hand to help him off the couch. “my fault. I meant middle aged man.” You chuckled. This was always a part of your joking routine.

Pedro took your hand and groaned dramatically when he got up from the couch, making you laugh. “You go freshen up first, I’ll warm up your plushy.” He told you. You quickly kissed him on his cheek as a thanks and made your way upstairs. When you were done, and got a pajama from Pedro’s closet, knowing he won’t mind and laid down in bed, scrolling a bit through your phone. You heard Pedro walking up the stairs and into the room. He handed you your plushy and you held it against your abdomen and thanked him before he disappeared into the bathroom which didn’t take him long.

He crawled in next to you and handed you the tv remote to look for a movie. You chose out your comfort movie and cuddled up in Pedro’s arms. Pedro knew you were exhausted and would fall asleep in no time, which he wasn’t wrong about. You were desperately fighting to stay awake, nodding off and then quickly opening your eyes again. Pedro saw you fight and he softly chuckled. “It’s okay baby girl. Get some sleep, you’re safe now. I’ll be right here and won’t go anywhere.” You mumbled a bit at the cooing before closing your eyes and feeling the safety in Pedro’s arms. You were glad you had Pedro who looked out for you and would cross the world for you if he had to. There was no doubt about that and he would make sure that you won’t forget that.  

[symphonic-scream]

There's an au I never posted about here, j don't think. But I wanna talk about it I guess?

A little bit at least

Persona 5 but Later

It's, like. The main plots for everyone's characters are the "same" but later. Like, they're about 19-22.

I have my notes for them all but on hand I just wanted to talk about (predictably) Makoto and Haru

Makoto, she's a cop. Beaten down by the system, looks tired at all times. The others enter her life and she tries to take them down, and Joker, reminds her of her old dreams. Her wishes to be just and do right, and after getting her Persona, she quits. Drops all contact with her sister, and moves into a little shitbox apartment with her savings, getting a job through Ryuji at this garage

Now, Haru's 21, married. To that asshole Sugimura, and has given him a son. But, their second is a daughter, and Haru is terrified of what life her daughter will have. Her father is long gone by now, and instead of his palace, it's Sugimura's. She gets her divorce, and ends up staying with Makoto, in that little shitbox, with her 4 year old son, and newborn daughter

And this is the part I want to talk about cause surprise! Scream made it gay

Haru moves in, exhausted, and Makoto turns her "study" into a room for little Tenji Okumura, gets a bassinet for little Hanako put in the master, and offers her bedroom up for Haru. Makoto, always overly self-sacrificing, plans to sleep on the couch

They share the bed. Makoto clears all the alcohol out of the apartment. She's been drinking less since quitting, but this is a big motivator for her. And to quit smoking. She's got so many bad habits, and she's breaking them little by little, but these kids, who aren't even hers, she just- she can't let herself do anything to bring them harm

And Haru and Makoto, they kiss once, just after the palace. Makoto makes it very clear she's not well enough to be a good partner for Haru, and she deserves better. Haru, she doesn't want that right now. She simply, was reacting to feelings, and they talk, and continue sharing a bed and living together, and raising Haru's kids, but they're not together together

In weak moments they'll slip and kiss, but. They're both not emotionally ready for anything, and both respect that. They grow closer as friends, grow to understand each other better than themselves

They would only get together in this AU's "strikers", a year and a half after the plot. They'd both be settled into their new jobs and Makoto would be 100% done with smoking and drinking, and Haru's divorce is finalized, and they've just moved into a new apartment where there's enough rooms for them to not share,

And yet,

They have a queen bed. With a quilt they found together at a second hand store, shopping for things for Tenji and Hanako's rooms. They've always been physically affectionate, though platonic, but slowly, it grows. Warmer, more tender, with whispered hints of silent feelings. They both know, but are too afraid to risk losing it all, after they've just gotten their "happy ending"

Sojiro watches the kids for them, and Haru swoons as Makoto calls him nightly to check on them, and say goodnight. Haru remembers her ex, and how he wouldn't even hold his son, the child he wanted. And here's this selfless woman, who cares so much for them, and, for her

It all comes to a head after that jail with the political lady. And, not much changes. They're still great friends, just. Makoto presses kisses to Haru's cheeks and hairline as she brings her their morning coffees. Haru gets to put every emotion into her "I love you"s, and

She cries when she calls to tell Tenji and Hanako, and Tenji, all confused, mentions that he thought Makoto was his other momma the whole time

They're not completely healed from their mistakes and their youth. Maybe Makoto will wake up some nights screaming and thrashing, remembering the horrible things she's done, years later. Maybe Haru will dissociate in the kitchen, barely blinking out of it as her son tugs at her pant leg, concerned

But, they have the others, and each other. And, that's a whole lot better than where they were before

(someone please please be interested in this PLEASE I HAVE SO MANY JOTES JUST ASK AND ILL SPOUT MORE)

[blacklegsanjiii]

gosh im such a huge fan of your warlord!sanji au esp all the wonderful angst recently <3 is there anything you have to share abt these executions, failed or successful? the pain is delicious >:)

i adore all of ur work so very much ^^ thank u!!

I'm glad you're enjoying everything so far! There is more in the works, for many people to parent Sanji.

Like, they've probably talked about this very frankly growing up with Sanji. He's already guilty by association so becoming a pirate is the worst thing he could have done and then his parents turned against the government or got sent to Impel Down by him and his crew? Sanji would be the first thought of execution by the government, with how interwoven the cook is into piracy and some of the top pirates in the world.

As for the executions? I had a thought, since the warlords and Luffy saved Ace(they still have scars, just no death) I thought about Sanji's execution where they do make it but Sanji's smiling at them, all of them, blood dribbling out of his mouth as he collapses lifeless on the platform. Or Someone gets him out and Sanji can feel the heat from Akainu's lava fast approaching and turns just in time to lose his hands and maybe his life, blinking at the admiral as people scream.

Maybe they get the whole family up there? Jinbei and Sanji went missing and all of a sudden there's a news article about Sanji, Jinbei, and the others' execution. All lined up and put to death with seastone bullets, or injured heavily. But either way no one ever really recovers from it. Mihawk who was supposed to die by Zoro's blades. Boa who was supposed to die of old age because almost everyone fell in love with her. Jinbei watching everything he's worked for backslide. Doffy who thought he would die by his kid's hands or Law's. Crocodile who was supposed to amass so much wealth he and the others could retire without worry. Sanji who was supposed to find the All Blue and open a restaurant.

Imagine if everyone was there? The White Beard fleet, Luffy and his volunteer fleet, Shanks and his crew, Perona, Law and his crew? Just everyone trying to get to the execution platform and save them. Sanji gives Luffy his biggest smile and thanks him, asks him to find the All Blue for him, and then just slumps forward after a bullet exits the front of his skull. His parents follow one by one as Luffy screams as he loses his cook and his helmsman. Loses his friends and family.

As a sanlu truther through and through Luffy watches the love of his life die and after whatever war happens, as they all leave to recuperate. Luffy is shattered and nothing is helping. Shanks, Ace, maybe Sabo is there but nothing is working until Zoro grabs Luffy and asks him if this is what the cook would want. They have to fulfill his dream too now and Zoro will make sure they do if Luffy can't. Luffy nods and wipes his face. Perona says she'll help, Sanji was her baby brother after all. Then everyone realizes they watched the cook and his family die one by one.

Or maybe they save one warlord. Doflamingo goes on a crazed rampage because of his child and then just shuts down after they leave, just a complete dissociative state. Boa who sobs as she takes out marine after marine and can't stop. Crocodile who doesn't shed a tear and kills quickly, not in a rampage but methodically and pats Perona as she looks at him with tears. Jinbei gets everyone out quickly and safely, he watches the waves in silence. Mihawk who kills efficiently and with no mercy and then Shanks asks why he's crying because he hasn't seen Mihawk in years and didn't know. Mihawk blinks and touches his face to feel the wetness.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for moving out right before my disabled grandparents get surgeries? (TWs for transphobia, child abuse, child neglect, religious trauma, the whole works)

Alright so I (19 NB, turning 20 in January) am trying to find a place to move out of state because my grandparents (who I currently live with) and dad don’t treat me (or my 18 year old brother) the best. I don’t feel like I have a lot of freedom to do what I want, because my grandparents (76 M and 74 F) are constantly asking me to do things they can do just fine on their own and they threaten me if I don’t comply. I was also raised to never question authority which includes them, so they act like me questioning their authority or opinions is me getting into fights with them. My dad (46 M) just enables them, telling me to behave and listen to them like I’m still a kid.

In addition to all this, they’re all transphobic. As mentioned before, I’m non-binary. My dad and grandma aren’t as bad and seem to be complying with my grandpa’s views, but my grandpa is HORRIFIC. I tried to explain my identity to him once and he straight up told me he didn’t care and didn’t want an explanation.

Outside of this, my grandparents are also Mormon, which has led me to end up with some religious trauma. They blame every one of their views on their religion, and are constantly telling me I’m never gonna be happy if I don’t start going to church again (something I haven’t done since I was 13 or 14).

My dad also told me he hopes I like my “newer brother” and how he’s changed because my brother is currently training to be a medic in the US military, and just finished his basic training. Aside from this being extremely off putting to me, this isn’t the first time my dad has sorta acted like I’m his golden child.

It’s worth noting that with how I’ve been treated my entire life, I’ve picked up people pleasing tendencies and can’t even say no. If I don’t want to do something I procrastinate until someone else does it then lie and claim I was going to do it.

Now all of this might have you like “NO YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT THE ASSHOLE” but here’s where I’m questioning that.

Both of my grandparents are disabled. My grandma had a stroke back in 2010 that still affects her to this day and as a result of it her balance is messed up so she has a hard time doing things on her own. My grandpa is having a knee surgery to help alleviate his disability (although a lot of his behavior is absolutely 100% just laziness). It’s making me feel bad for even considering leaving, but I’m so sick of being treated how I am. I feel like I can’t learn to say no until I’m cut off from my family. I don’t even remember most of my childhood and have a dissociative disorder, and I’m pretty sure those are linked (not remembering most of my childhood and having a dissociative disorder).

But I just. I genuinely can’t shake the feeling that I’m an asshole for moving out right before my grandparents get surgeries. So. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[a-whispering-echo]

UE - Killer (+ Lust)

TW: brainwashing, killing, implications of SH, slavery, child labour, implications of sex work, implication of underage sexual content, abuse

FIRE TYPE

"The Acolyte's Assassin" Tiefling Rouge Age: 19 Height; 5'7 Gender: Non Binary he/they

Was born into an institution of assassins.

Is fairly brainwashed

When he tells people his age, people think he's joking, because he comes across as older.

Has a brand on his back of the number 592 - his assassin number, its tried to be scratched off and Is covered in small scars. Mentioning it will case him to dissociate, which its quite jarring to his normally mischievous demeanour.

He makes little wooden toys for the kids. Both in the group, and when the do runs.

The Highway Woman's Curse

The face scales are genetic, it comes from a curse set on his great great great grandmother - called the "highway woman's curse", it makes them stand out from others, and as such they are more recognisable, and can be caught easily, killer learned to hid them pretty early on, it's something he still holds shame over, but is mostly over it. The others think it makes him look cool. It was cast on said ancestor for thievery, and they believed back then that people of the same bloodline were all of the same impulses, so they cursed the whole generation to be recognised easier, so they could know who did it. Unfortunately, many people used this against them, claiming they were robbed by one with the curse, when they were because they made easy scapegoats.

Killer was born into an institution, and, as his name implies, killed people he was ordered to. Everyone in this institution had different roles, and were named accordingly. They all had to report to the one family who owned them.

He spent most of his younger life here, with limited exposure to people outside.

He was quite popular in the group, mostly due to his high charisma, and his skill in his job. He's very sneaky, and could get kills without being noticed. While many people appreciated him, he wasn't really close to anyone but Lust, a fellow tiefling a few years older than him, who worked in the brothel owned by the same family. Lust liked preforming, but wished that he could do so in a less sexual manner, and Killer suggested music. So together they learned how to play several instruments, and while it was never really Killers thing, he kept at it to Lust happy.

Killer was the first person Lust came out to a trans, saying that while she didn't mind being male, she also definitely wanted to be perceived as female. Killer in response said he didn't really feel male, and the both started to present how they wanted to more, Killer growing his hair out, and stealing dresses and skirts for Lust when he went on trips.

But Killer desperately wanted to leave, to explore the world out there that he hadn't explored, and so, despite the fact he believed he would be killed for it, he leaves.

He snuck out at night when everyone is asleep, so that if he did die due to the curse over them, no one he cared about would see him die. When he didn't, he ran like the wind, leaving his past life (and friends) behind them.

The owners cover up Killer leaving, saying that he had died on a mission. Lust was heartbroken, but felt that something was off. Killer hadn't told her that they had a mission that night, strange, as they told each other everything.

Killer spends a few months just trying to understand how the world works, when he is unexpectedly stopped by some guard while trying to enter a city. They recognised their scales, and the multitude of knives on his person didn't help matters. They were about to lock him away and send him back to the institution, when he was saved by another tiefling, strikingly similar in appearance, who claimed that they were her brother to steer the guards off course.

The tiefling introduced themself as Buttercup, and stated that in return for her help, she wanted Killer to work for her. She first told him to kill a long term enemy of hers, and, should he succeed, she would employ him and cover the costs of anything he should need. Killer immediately accepts, trusting her completely.

It turns out, Buttercup worked as some kind of of assassin boss, she got requests for people's murders and sent those she had manipulated to do the dirty work.

Killer believed this to be such a lucky thing, he was good at killing people! She wouldn't get rid of him for his failures, and he didn't have to go back to his institution!

One day, Buttercup gives him a necklace, a large white circle pendent with a circle in the middle of no colour, stating that wearing it would make him stronger, and that she wanted to give it to him, as they were her best worker. When Killer puts it on, the part of the necklace with no colour turns a vivid red colour, swirling around in the white. The necklace had immediately bonded to his life force, sucking any magic he had straight into the pendent. And when he tried to take off the necklace, he found he couldn't, not without breaking it, which Buttercup said would kill him, so its stuck now. This did make his stronger technically, as he's now semi-immortal, you cant kill him without breaking the necklace, and if you don't know this, he's mostly safe. However, having his life force just sitting in front of him does make him much easier to kill if you know his weakness.

Buttercup did this so she could threaten his life every time he "misbehaved."

She then starts hurting him physically, now believing that she can get away with it; that he's too scared to run. Whipping his back for anything she can twist into being a mistake.

One day, Killer is ordered to kill a man known as "Horror," a half-orc from a neighbouring district, who was said to be blamed for the famine in the region, When Killer get there, and meets the guy, he realises he just cant kill him, he's way to much of a sweetheart, and ends up telling Horror that he was meant to kill him and didn't. Horror lets him know that he doesn't hold it against him, and that they were being manipulated into doing horrible thing. Killer starts to realise that what he's doing is not a good thing and stays with Horror for as long as he can, before being called back to Buttercup. He's tells Horror to meet him in a nearby tavern in 3 months, planning to grab his stuff and run away from Buttercups home.

When he gets there, he kills Buttercup, swearing this to be his last murder, grabs anything of value, tells the others working there what had happened and runs again.

When Killer come to the tavern at the agreed time, hes dismayed to find Horror very scarred, thin and clutching his sister in his arms. Horror explains what happened to them, and that they were exiled, and suffered to find anywhere where they would serve an orc. Killer feels immensely guilty, and promises to never leave him along again.

In this tavern, they notice a small elf in the corner, covered in a large purple cloak, and staring at them intensely. When they ask what hes looking at, he hesitates before stating that he's looking at Killer necklace, that he recognises the magic, and that he's sorry for what happened. Killer, taken aback, asks for the elves name. The elf freezes, his eyes darting back and forth, before breathing heavily, "Dust" he introduces himself as.

The three of them work as a team for a few months, before encountering a Dragonborn pillaging a village. When they stop to find out what's going on, they find themselves pickpocketed of their valuables. Enraged, they get into a huge fight, with the trio winning. They capture him end up working with him for around 7 months.

This is the point where a bunch of characters start meeting, so i'm not gonna put all this here - but i think you can see where its going, yes?

[gracefullou]

No need to publish but since you mentioned the disturbing amount of likes F stuff gets--I've now seen SO MANY video compilations of him in Louis' tags and the worst part is having been around for years I know that half the pics are either not F or not even Louis 😬 I see no difference between these "fans" and the ones that relate everything to H. It's depressing that his team isn't interested in fostering a fan base outside of the loonies.

It's really disturbing to see the obsession ngl. And it's not only fans. Just a few days ago, i saw a PEOPLE's article about Freddie's recent pic and i'm like wtf? I don't know if they ever wrote ONE article about a louis music release but just randomly writing a whole ass article about a child? It's so so weird. And i hate larries and babygaters for igniting this obsession amongst fans. If babygaters didn't exist, i don't think we would have this amount of posts or even accounts that work as Freddie's ua. In one hand we have the freaks who allow themselves not only to believe but to fucking post their proofs how Freddie isn't Louis' son daily (just imagine someone coming to you and saying you're not your parents' son/ daughter and i won't believe it until i see your birth certificate. Like seriously who tf they think they are). I still don't know what they think they're achieving with that, even if you think he isn't his child, holding that against him and always threatening to boycott his projects if you see the kid (which never works btw 💀) and hating on a kid daily is just disgusting and (bc i know that's what they care about) frankly useless. No one with a working braincell will ever believe a single word from crazy people like larries (i came back to Twitter the last couple of days and they're honestly truly schizophrenic there's no other explanation to the utter and complete dissociation in their thinking). They don't even think on how it reflects on louis, to have them as fans. I can't tell you how many irl friends became fans of louis after fitf but were so so put off by larries, they chose to remain casual fans only. On the other hand, we have some fans who work a little too hard to prove larries wrong. They hold on too strong to Louis' heterosexuality and fatherhood as a got you moment for larries. Totally ignoring how weird it it to keep posting a child's face. PS: A lot of the likes for Freddie's posts come from hrries who cling to that (and Louis' Larry denials ) as proof that larry isn't real since their fav didn't really give them a firm denial to shut larries up. I think louis is too talented to have a fandom like this. I always thought that his discography is too good to be included in this circus. Someone like him should've had a carrer trajectory similar to some of the top actors'. Drama free, promote his projects when the time comes, charms everyone with his wit and sense of humor then disappears until the next masterpiece drops. Unfortunately, he was sabotaged for too long and his current team is so useless, non creative and non ambitious it really is depressing. Even the big side projects if you will (afhf, aotv, lfl...) were all louis' ideas and made reality out of sheer will and determination from him. I will never forget in the afhf documentary where HE was the one telling Matt that the festival will happen and the logistics will be figured out and insisting so that the lazy man gets on with it and does his job. Like you're his MANAGER and not only you have zero useful ideas to promote him but also act like you're doing him a huge favor (against your will just so you could shut him up) when he asks you to do something that is in reality your job. His label is also useless (no radio, no playlisting). Hoping LT3 will have a better promo cycle (i'm a clown i know) and some miracle happens so we can get rid of larries, they're so harmful to his career and replace them with new healthy normal fans

[josnhoes]

Platonic!Yan batfam with young adult reader. Part 6

[Part 5]

Note: Reader is 18-22 years old. Gn reader. This work is officially given the Sparky verse name for requests sake

Content warning: being treated like a child, being looked down on, obsessions, soft yandere but still a yandere, reader has memory issues and it's ambiguous as to why, delusional batfam, batfam as a whole basically view you as a child younger then Damien despite you being older, dissociation, abduction, drugging, Stockholm syndrome.

Focuses on Alfred

---------

You lost track of time since you came into the care of the batfam. It was...nice. At first it had been stressful, the constant fear of the hit on you had worn on you greatly. But the whole group of vigilantes' support and care had helped. Sure you felt mentally fuzzy a lot, and there were times you were too woozy to do anything; but it didn't matter because they had been there for you. They never judged, they never made demands, they never asked for anything. How could you not get attached?

It'd been so nice not having to worry about bills and rogue attacks...

Eventually it came time the family had decided to let you in on the truth. It had been a shock for you, who knew those fringe conspiracy groups had been right about who Batman was. They welcomed you to the family telling you that it was time you went to your new room above ground. You hesitated, the cave had been your safety when they weren't there. Could it be safe up there too?

Eventually you got brave after they promised you'd be safe. You clutched robi- Damien's hand tightly, your legs shaky like a new born deer as anxiety pools in you. Only for nothing to happen once you reached the top of the stairs. There was no threat, just like they promised! And it was daytime! You couldn't remember the last time you'd *seen* the sun.

Alfred watched you practically drag Damian to the window to look up at the sky from behind the glass. At first he'd been against this whole thing, veiwing you as a victim; yet doing nothing because it made *his* family happy. He spent time with you in the cave while the others were out. His own domino mask and agent A moniker covering who he was. And after a while he got attached too.

He saw the draw you had the more time he spent with you. Even when you were drugged you had a sharp wit and yet you only used that blade on yourself. Why did so many of his family do self-deprecating jokes? Regardless, you were one of *his* now.

He greeted you with a drink and your favorite cookies with a smile and a, "Welcome home young miss." He didn't miss the way you lit up seeing him, he was pleased to see you had gotten attached to him along with the family.

He still took care of everything for you only now you got to come out of your shell finally. To watch you go from a fearful soul that required sedatives to stop from clawing at yourself into the happy and caring person under his care was euphoric. He'd been even more pleased when his youngest grandchild had vehemently been against joining the family's nighttime work.

All of the family had been and Dick who had asked if you ever thought of it had been scolded by Alfred for even putting those ideas in your head. He was not sending another grandchild to fight on the streets. It was hard enough with everyone else.

Everyone bickered over your time and attention, but Alfred being home almost always was proud to say he spent the most time with you. You cooked together...though he watched you closely and never let you near the fire or knives. You had started watching one of his shows with him. You both even had some inside jokes and he felt joy at having someone normal in the family.

That being said, he just like everyone else would not let you leave. He was ready and prepared at all times to subdue you should you find some moment of distrust or flight response. There was no escape, and even if you did manage to escape you'd best hope one of the Bat boys brought you home, because Alfred was far scarier when angry.

[eva-does-its-best]

Transition (Part 3) The boy that never was

It is no secret cast to the bottom of the sea that a lot of trans people feel like they always were what they are now. Women saying that they were always women, men saying they were always men, etc.

Well, I do follow that pattern a bit, in a less orthodox way, cause I firmly believe that before I realized I was trans I was agender, just like I am now.

My gender is deeply intertwined with my disability, as my disability has shaped my life into something few people can recognize.

Developing an eating disorder at age 3 did not just mean constant sickness (36 hospitalizations as of today), it also meant social isolation. After all a kid will feel bad and ashamed for having to explain other kids and their parents why they are not eating.

I also developed very slowly, took me long to stop using my pacifyer, to learn how to write which I still struggle with today, the other kids changed faster and left me behind.

My mother works and has always worked 12+ hours a day and my father... better to not talk about him. So from age 4 I was left alone, I was a good kid, never caused trouble, they had no problem leaving me alone at home for most of the day while they were away.

My whole life was tv and videogames, some books and toys and my dog Chuki. I developed a mortifying fear of being outside, I did not want people to see me, to judge me, I was very vigilant. So I isolated at home for more than a decade.

A kid who has no social contact for the most part, and who just cares about videogames and tv shows and their own imagination, why would I have needed gender? "I cannot die because then I would miss the next pokemon game" is a phrase that summarizes it pretty well, I was just existing.

But it was painfully obvious, leaving the discussion just at "I didn't care" would be disingenuous. The truth is I was not allowed to be a boy.

Frail, weak, slow, gentle. I soon found myself not playing with the other boys. I tried, I tried playing football with them, I tried playing basketball with them, I tried. But I wasn't good enough, I wasn't strong, I didn't have their intensity I just wanted to have fun, and so I always ended up forcefully expelled, insulted, and physically attacked.

It was not just kids, adults too did treat me like that.

In the first years of high-school I was alone, my most dreaded time was the two breaks we had every day, where I just stood on a corner and ate my lunch. People laughed at me for it, I wished to not have to go through it again, but it was there every day.

Girls no longer took pity of me, they joined the mocking, except they did it more loudly and publically than the boys. So depression, dissociation, they took a hold of me, marginalization, isolation, and health issues such as anemia joined in too, and all of them together kept me genderless until I became trans.

As a child and as a teenager I just kept failing everyone's expectations, they still called me and treated me like a boy but just because in their mind there was no alternative, it was clear that I was something else in their eyes. A frail and inteligent child, like the classical image of a poet or an intelectual, that is what they held onto.

But my cousins, my sisters, my uncles and aunts, even my parents kept reminding me of how useless I was, how weak I was. "Oh you're scared of this? Are you not a man?" "You don't even know how to fix this? What a man" "You don't work, you're so lazy, pf, the men of this family are all useless".

Not hard to see why I despise radfems, after all this is the treatment they would give to a child, and let me tell you, it hurts for an entire life.

I was able to stop thinking about this, about boyhood and manhood, as soon as I became aware of being trans. After all now I had an excuse to discard them, an excuse to fail at them (I had not yet realized my life was that of a disabled person, in my mind I was just weird).

That trans woman that called me masculine, I think about it sometimes. I mean new clothes are expensive and I wasn't feeling ok, it wasn't on purpose. But some months later I found myself thinking more and more of my image and expression, something I never even dared to think about before.

As a boy everyone was fine with me wearing whatever. Now I felt the preassure but also the want to dress better, coherently, with thought. And what I found was masculinity, my ideal image, I wanted to be more butch.

That actually made me feel good, I felt complete, there was a masculinity that didn't make me feel bad.

Then watching women both cis and trans having beards on purpose made me feel even better, because that was a new form of femininity that felt really honest, really beautiful, took a bit to get used to it but I loved it, even though having a beard is painful to me due to my frail skin and I should permanently remove it for my own sake. But still, I owe people like dabwax or that one mathematics girl whose name always escapes me a lot in this journey, a lot in my worldview.

And I thought that was it, I thought that was the end of my history with masculinity, but then all this gender fuckery happened and I realized one thing.

'If I become girl enough, if I become comfortable enough with my girlhood, I may be able to be a boy".

And I talked about it with a good friend of mine and she felt similarily and I felt validated by that. So I added boy to my genders even though it was more like a future gender.

But then I thought: "But I don't actually like boyhood or manhood, I don't like their meaning and form for me". Well, I did still enjoy my masculinity but there is no denying some of these traits I just didn't like, they made me feel bad, I wanted them removed.

So then what did boy mean? If it had nothing to do with that, was it just me being quirky? was it just me being bored or just wanting new things for stimulation?

Then it dawned on me. Boy had nothing to do with boyhood, with manhood or with masculinity. Boy is reclaiming what they always kept from me, what they took from me.

Boy is me, vulnerable, scarred, traumatized, letting myself weep, letting myself be weak, letting myself be a hurt child once more, in the arms of someone I can finally trust. Boy is something I feel, rather than something I express.

It is human connection, it is platonic, romantical, even sexual at times. It is just me feeling the pain of the past in a hypothetical future in which everything is ok, and I am safe, and I am allowed to hurt in front of mutual love of some kind. Unraveling myself and all that I am and was to the eyes of someone whose heart is with me.

That is what boy meant for me, what it means for me now, the reason I declare myself bigender, the reason I declare myself agender, the reason I maintain that I have never been a boy, that my agab means nothing and I don't want it mentioned, that I am a trans girl but also a trans boy.

This is my genders.