#saying that i have autistic traits + symptoms

[midwestgender]

sometimes i feel like when i criticize people on the internet who over generalize autism/adhd symptoms and lead to mass self-dxing among teenagers i look like such a massive hypocrite bc i am a self-dxed autistic and so are all my close friends. but idk i feel like actually the main culprit is the adults who post misinformation and act like very innocuous symptoms are 'red flags' for needing clinical evaluation. understanding myself as autistic is just how i navigate the world and tbh because of the sense of shame over not having a clinical dx i don't tell anyone im autistic besides other autistics that i know well.

[sparklebyte]

no you aren’t a little autistic for not wanting to make eye contact sometimes no you aren’t a little bipolar for having a mood swing no you aren’t a little adhd for bouncing your leg no you aren’t a little depressed for wanting to stay in bed no you aren’t a little schizophrenic for mistakingly hearing a voice no you aren’t a little ocd for wanting the class desks to be straight stop characterizing disorders by one symptom stop trying to lighten and romanticize disorders by applying a normal thing to do to a disorder that impacts peoples lives stop trying to water down these disorders so you can make it about you and so you can make a joke off of other people’s lives because you want to be funny

[puppppppppy]

who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it

[cutiepieautistic]

i love how you can read my url and be like okay,probably another "silly stereotypical tiktok quirky maniac pixie dream girl" autistic bitch. and then you read through my blog, and you're just like. oh, this bitch got AUTISM autism.

[technicolorxsn]

my mom just described something her autistic students do that I used to do all the time and I'm surprised she hasn't realized anything

[wybbit]

i hate when people say "well are you schizoid/schizophrenic?? do you have a cluster B disorder??? if not then you can't really speak on this" as they blatantly use the disorders as insults because i'm still mentally ill and all of these ignorant comments are just constantly repackaged in slightly different ways to perpetuate the same types of stigma

[t4transsexual]

15 year old google psychologist on tiktok: you HAVE to be PROFESSIONALLY DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM or else youre a FAKER whos STEALING RESOURCES from ACTUAL PEOPLE WITH AUTISM

psychiatrist: you dont act autistic. ok well i guess you acted autistic as a kid but not now so clearly something changed. whats masking?

psychiatrist: you experience a lot of traits of autism but you made eye contact with me for a bit so you cant be autistic

psychiatrist: you cant be autistic because youre too smart

psychiatrist: well you experience profound symptoms of autism but your brothers already diagnosed with autism and thats not possible for you both to be

psychiatrist: ok you seem autistic however youre a teenage girl. have you considered you might have borderline personality disorder/bipolar disorder instead?

*also when you get diagnosed*

psychiatrist: i cant advocate for your disabling ptsd to the government, i can only do autism. yes i know your autism isnt the actual problem here but have you considered that youre just being autistic about it?

psychiatrist: i cant write a letter of recommendation for gender affirming care because youre autistic. yes i know you work a full time job and live independently but youre not capable of making these decisions

psychiatrist: *doesnt try to treat/talk about anything but the autism*

the 15 year old again: i know you SAID youre diagnosed with autism but i dont believe you because anyone can say that, so im going to continue to harrass you about it anyway

[canisalbus]

I've been curious about this for a while, and after finding your Tumblr and reading up on Machete lore I'd love to know; Is Machete autistic? I myself am autistic and I see myself in him quite a lot at times while reading your posts... If not, are there anything other disabilities or ailments he has? What about Vasco?

I'm hesitant to assign either them a lot of labels, but I think it's justified to say he has enough autistic traits to place him somewhere on the spectrum. Of course they hadn't figured out neurodiversity in the 1500's, if you knew him well enough you might call him a little eccentric. Even then he's reasonably proficient at masking and trying to appear normal to others. Having impressive self-restraint and an unhealthy degree of self-awareness helps with that. His surroundings are formal, rigid and impersonal and he has learned to navigate that specific social climate reasonably well. In addition to difficulty in socializing his main issues are sensory related, he's sensitive to textures, loud sounds and environmental overstimulation and has a low pain threshold, but can tolerate a surprising amount of discomfort in order to keep his face and not appear weak or unprofessional.

I'd say most of his physical health issues are related to anemia in a way or another, a condition that hasn't been discovered yet and thus can't be treated effectively. In their terms he simply has a weak constitution and is susceptible to mystery pains and illnesses. Unfortunately the catch-all medical care at the time is bloodletting, which, as you can imagine, only worsens his symptoms. Albinism affects the development of your eyes so his sight isn't the best and he's very sensitive to bright lights, to the point he prefers to stay indoors on sunny days.

Vasco, in comparison, has always been healthy as a horse, apart from recurring childhood ear infections. He exhibits some traits that could align with inattentive adhd, but probably not enough to justify a diagnosis. He can be a little disorganized, forgetful and has trouble starting and completing tasks, and has hard time forcing himself to stay invested in things he doesn't care about all that much.

[sambot2000xp]

THE THREAD I HAVE BEEN PROCRASTINATING ON FOR A WHILE!!!

murderface’s autistic traits

because i see a lot of people talking about toki, skwisgaar, and nate’s autistic traits but never murderface.,,,

under the cut

one of the more obvious traits is his interest in war history and macabre things, which definitely seems like a special interest. it takes up his WHOLE ROOM, and the only time we see him taking a vacation is for a war reinactment. it is basically the only thing we see him have any interest in outside of dethklok and other music endeavors (which he does not seem to be that interested in even) he is genuinely PASSIONATE for history.

his gullibility is definitely overplayed for jokes but to me it reads as an extremely obvious autistic trait. for example , the firecracker scene. that scene just screams autistic to me. the way he just never realizes that he should STOP trusting them and keeps on bending down? yeah.

one of the less obvious things that I notice is his pickiness with foods. also a joke and definitely tied to extreme internalized homophobia, but it just seems like something that most neurotypical people would not go to the lengths to defend. yes I know that he does eat a hot dog in doublebookedklok but who says autism people cannot be hypocrites, I know I am lol. also just a headcanon of mine that he is sensitive to foods and sticks to foods he is comfortable with + knows well, seems to be pretty canon compliant too.

something i notice is how he does seem to understand some social norms, but not fully. and even the ones he does understand, he does not care to follow. for me as an autistic person that is something I heavily relate to. It is hard to follow the social norms you do understand when you have no reason to, and you have never had them explained to you. murderface was just treated as a problem kid his entire life so of course he just sticks with it instead of trying to work on his attitude.

kind of reaching but autistic people are more likely to experience depression and other mental illnesses, something that murderface definitely deals with. he also shows symptoms in less typical was, tied in with his anger issues. i think his anger issues could also be compared to how he was never taught to deal with his emotions, and also combine with autistic meltdowns of the sort. basically all of his issues just are worsened by his autistic traits.

SPELLING!!! i know this is just something that shows he is uneducated, which makes sense as he (in the shoe, NOT the comics) grew up in the south (probably in poverty) and never cared for school, but it also could have been heightened by his trouble learning new concepts. he very easily could have been pushed away by the fact that no one understood how to be patient with him and teach him in a way he understood, an experience lots of autistic people face.

the way murderface talks to people, he rarely knows how to act when he is not complaining or insulting people, which definitely ties into the lack of social skills. he also seems to not be able to tell when people are joking, or read emotional subtleties.

with how he tries to be a “gentleman” around ladies, it definitely shows how he does not know how to act outside of stereotypes and what he has been taught, almost like he is following a script.

HYGIENE. a big thing for autistic people. i know some people who are extreme near freaks and very very cautious with hygiene, as for me and others,,, not caring at all. i think it is obvious murderface falls into the second category, he does not CARE about hygiene and frankly, does not want to. we seen him showering in one scene so I think he is capable of doing self-care oriented things, but maybe it is hard for him to start, or he is uncomfortable with it in most occasions.

we???? Have never seen him wear pants? Like never. Even when wearing suits he has never worn pants. Definitely a sensory thing and NOT NORMAL?? just something subtle but texture in clothing is definitely a big thing with sensory issues.

headcanons

ahem ahem,,, we never see him in any shoes with shoelaces so I like to headcanon that he either never learned how to tie his shoes, or if he did, he is very bad at it and it takes him a while, so he is embarrassed to tie his shoes in front of anyone.

i also like to think he makes a lot of references to old TV shows (see my murderface agere post) and got a lot of his ideas of what “masculinity” is from those. i assume he shaped his worldview around fiction and what he learned from history, which resulted in a really warped perspective.

that is all for now!! i will probably add onto this later!! ^_^ byebye!

[lady-ashfade]

Hi! I've taken a gander at your writing and I LOVE it! If possible, I'd like to make a request of some hcs (or a short drabble, either is fine) of Astarion x a gender neutral, autistic!Tav? Perhaps they've spent a long time masking and have been terrified of telling him about their neurodivergence, but eventually (very nervously) tell him after some time into their relationship? I'm curious to know how he might react. I've fallen head over heels for this man and it would mean a lot to me as someone who's still working to fully embrace their autism. Thank you for your time 💜 ♾🌈

Hidden Truth

This is very short so I apologize! It’s also kinda shitty because I’ve never done much about this before

Astarion x Autistic!Reader HC’s

I do not have autism, and don’t know much about it. But how ever I have seen a lot about it because I have a lot of symptoms so I looked it up to be more in depth with this. I’m so sorry if I get things wrong💓

Warnings: Poorly written autistic people, mention of people leaving for this, short explanation, over all kinds fluffy and a bit sad. Idk.

Astarion noticed that you weren’t like the others, there was just something about you. It wasn’t anything bad you just…Are very unique. And he loved it that.

The way you looked around each cave or place you visited and found something cool. Your little face lights up and starts to squeal and shake your hands around.

He loved how you got so excited over things.

Then when you looked around for a clue of what to say, you tensed up when people cried around you. Or, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time because you didn’t read the room. But, he loved to laugh about it.

Fighting was hard when there was loud sounds and he could see you flinch each time even though you had done this many times before.

At camp he noticed how you played with your hands or things in your hands. But he hated when he’d find you in a panic and never told him what was going on.

These are some of the things he noticed even if you tried so hard to hide it.

You had visited him outside of his tent with a plan to come clean, or to tell him. You loved him and wanted him to know about you, but it was so hard. You often dreamed about him calling you a “freak” and leaving you. It always made you sick to your stomach.

“Why the look? You’d think my presence would make you smile.” He’s tease and inch closer, swaying his body.

“I um- I have something I’d like to talk to you about.” The tone in your voice made him slightly worried but he didn’t show it. Only smirking and showing you to the log in front of the fire. “Anything you’d like, darling.”

You sat down next to him and began to pour your hear out to him. Explaining that you had autism and what the entailed, his confused face made it almost laughable. But he listened to your words like you have always done with him.

Each detail he could see exactly what you were taking about having witnessed you doing so.

“And, pray tell. Have you decided to tell me now?” He saw how you panicked and his eyes went slightly wide at the wrong tone he used. “I only mean..What took you so long?”

You looked away from him and avoided eye contact as it became hard. “I was afraid you’d hate me.” Hugging yourself at the memories of many doing so. “I didn’t want you to leave me.”

His heart broke and his chest felt heavy at the thought you- His darling. Were scared to tell him. So he laughed a bit.

“Oh, how cute. There isn’t much you could do for me to leave you and especially over something you can’t control.” His hand rested onto of your thigh and he scooted closer to you. “I find your traits endearing.”

His other hands reached to cup your cheek and turn your head, he was so soft. Softer then he’d ever been before. “I- I appreciate you telling me. You’d never have to worry about telling me anything,” he leaned forward and leaned his head on yours. “It’s clear to see that you have me wrapped around your finger, and my amazing self has you around mine.” His lips turned to kiss your cheek. 

Astarion doesn’t really care about it much. He learns how to make you feel better and help when you get overstimulated easy.

But he’s very protective when you get stares for a tic or anything. Pulls out his weapon and threats them, glares or just straight up yells at them.

He’s with you when you need him. Over all astarion is supportive over it.

But he was confused for a period of time and acts differently until you tell him not to. He just wants to make his baby feel safe and understood.

[thunderstomm]

I was originally not going to make a post about this, but after seeing a few other posts about it, I wanted to make my own. I have a LOT to talk about.

TW: Transphobia, Homophobia, Ableism

If you don’t know what I’m taking about- there was a post made by a user, who’s name I will not disclose or share, who discussed how they would rewrite the new Monster High G3 Cartoon. While some of the points were mundane, or points of preference, others made me very uncomfortable, as they got rid of much of the diversity that G3 has brought into the Monster High Universe. I want to quickly go through three of the points that I felt were erasing these steps in diversity, and my thoughts on each one, and why I think that it’s iffy, to say the least.

First is the statement “all of the couples from G1 will stay together”. While this may read to some as a preference for the old couples, in the context of rewriting G3- it comes across as the erasure of both couples involving a neurodivergent character being the subject of a crush, and being seen as desirable and loved (Manny x Twyla), and what probably was the intended couples they wanted to seperate, the canonically queer ships. In particular, this is most likely against Clankie (and POSSIBLY an s2 ship which I won’t say by name because some people want to go in blind. Instead I will refer to it as 🧡💚.). In this rewrite context, wanting to take away queer relationships which many writers and designers for Monster High have fought for in many shapes and forms. G1 never had explicit queer characters, the closest things being a scrapped SDCC diary entry (Valentine x Spelldon), Post-Ending 3rd party statements (Clawdeen is a Lesbian, Rebecca x Venus, etc.) and implied characters (Kiyomi). While these are okay, they are NOT the same as explicit queer couples, which are arguably more important to push forward in the talk and scope of present and future representation.

While it is okay to prefer the G1 ships, in the context of bringing them back for G3, it erases these queer couples, and ignores the lore and universe of G3. In G3, Cleo and Deuce are exes. And if you don’t like that, you can still watch G1!! It’s not magically disappeared, the movies and shows and music is all still out there, and most of it is free! But, erasing Clankie, 🧡💚, and other potential queer ships in G3, for the preservation of a m/f ship isn’t okay.

On the subject of erasure, there is the statement “Frankie is still non-binary, but now uses she/they pronouns”. A character canonically using they/them in cartoons, especially ones made for kids, are uncommon. Honestly, I don’t even know if I could name 10, and that says more about the state of non-binary representation than it does about me. While changing the pronouns of a cisgender character to gender neutral ones is often done in fandom, and often not a point of issue, taking a character who is canonically non-binary and solely uses they/them and giving them typically gendered pronouns erases that under represented group, and allows for transphobes to ignore the “they” in “she/they”, and only use “she” for the character. This is an issue in real life too, for many who use multiple sets of pronouns, including myself (they (preferred) / he) ! We deserve both of their sets of pronouns to be used, and people who only use they/them deserve to be referred to by and as they/them. These changes hurt everyone.

Then, we come to the one I see the most talk about, and the one that made me audibly yell “what the f-?!”- taking away Twyla’s canon autism diagnosis, and symptoms & traits, and replacing it with autism coding, so that she is easier to identify with. First of all- easier for who??? Neurotypicals ?? It is incredibly rare to see a character on kids TV outright say “I am autistic”, and Twyla is wonderful as representation. Twyla will not resonate or be relatable to every person- but that is true for all characters, not just autistic ones. Autistic people are not a monolith, it is a spectrum, with many different ways to present itself. Also… taking away all of her traits and symptoms to make her more relatable? These traits and symptoms are what would have made her “autistic coded”, and without them, you have a character who is NT.

Autism isn’t a quirky word you can use to describe anyone, it is a disability, that myself and many others have, and see misrepresented time and time again. And to say that a good example of it is not good, and would be better off to be erased and replaced with coding is insane. Coding is okay, but that’s all it is. Real spoken representation matters so much to me, and so many other people, even if the characters we see are not identical to us in those symptoms and traits they exhibit. These characters should not be changed, but rather, more autistic characters, with different presenting symptoms and traits, should be introduced !

You can like G1, you can prefer G1, but that does not mean that you have to make a sanitised version of G3, that makes it identical to G1. In terms of representation, there is no arguing that G3 has G1 beat. The poster said on their post that “any new characters would be made more relatable”, but… to who? Because I relate to a lot of the G3 characters more than the G1 ones, and I grew up loving G1! It’s not been wiped, all of the media still exists for you to watch, and make headcanons for ! If you like G1- good for you! But please, stop trying to make G3 exactly like it. Because change is inevitable in these kinds of reboots, and it allows for the representation some want to take away.

Thank-You for those who read all the way!

[aw-tysm]

Autistic characters in media can be a bit of a weird one.

On one hand, a bunch of people look at them and say "misrepresentation", "they have it wrong", "that's not what we're like", "this is just gross stereotypes".

And on the other hand, a bunch of Autistics look at those characters and say "i do that too", "they have meltdowns like i do!", "i really relate to this character", "those symptoms are like mine".

If you, an Autistic, relate to an Autistic character in media that others don't "agree" with, that doesn't make you bad or wrong. Autism shows itself in many ways. Seeing yourself through their traits, symptoms, struggles, is perfectly fine.

Autistic characters in media aren't going to represent everyone but we shouldn't shame people who can and do relate to them.

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

I personally think the wof mental health rep is a lot better than it seems at first glance.

I should say upfront that I'm not a professional, though one of my biggest interests is psychology and majority of the conditions I talk in this post I either have or have traits of (and I'll clarify which I don't).

Whiteout is the only canonical neurodivergent character as far as I know, having associative synesthesia, but many headcanoning her to be autistic. I haven't read the books in a long while, but from what I remember I can agree, though I'm not autistic (despite meeting criteria... long story) so I won't for sure say if I think her traits are enough for a diagnosis or not (again, haven't read the books recently), but everyone seems to think they are so I'll agree.

Hawthorn has psychotic symptoms, which I think is important to represent since people with psychosis (whether that be from being on the schizophrenia spectrum or some other reason) are very often put in a bad light. Hawthorn is too, to an extent, but that's more so due to the Breath of Evil and not due to his psychotic symptoms, or from what I can remember, at least. I don't think Hawthorn has a mental disorder like schizophrenia since symptoms of psychosis can be caused by isolation (I'm not actually 100% sure if this is true, this is just something my psychologist told me), but I think the representation is still important either way. I relate to him a lot due to his symptoms.

Darkstalker very clearly shows symptoms of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), I don't think you can even argue that (sorry, narcissism anon from a month or so ago). I myself fit the criteria for NPD, and I definitely see myself in him. I doubt he can be diagnosed since he is still a child, but his symptoms might be extreme enough to warrant one, I'm not sure (coming from a minor who's doctors referred them for a personality disorder screening themself). Of the nine (9) criteria for NPD, just off memory he fit basically all of them. I won't go into all of it but I will definitely mention his splitting, seeing how he goes from loving Clearsight to thinking he can kill her if she doesn't meet his expectations. He also has the aspect of how it develops too, that being trauma (I recall Arctic being abusive to him which is definitely enough to warrant trauma), and being spoiled as a child (this could be my brain making things up but I swear this happened, or at least he was overly praised or something). So yeah, fairly sure he would have been diagnosed with NPD if he didn't eat the strawberry.

Moonwatcher seems to have social and separation anxiety. I like this, since I am diagnosed with both and they are both very difficult to live with, and I like seeing another character having it that I can relate to in that way. She also has symptoms of AVPD (just from what I remember), but she's only like... twelve (12) so there's no way she could be diagnosed.

Anemone, while not having any mental disorders specifically, still had a rough mental health journey so I think it's important to bring up. She grew up with her mother, Queen Coral, who was a complete helicopter parent, and likely never met her Father, King Gill. She was praised and adorned all her life, so it makes sense that when she was eventually separated from Coral, she acted out what she thought she deserved. While I think Darkstalker has NPD, I can't say the same for Anemone, since she was so young and it's normal for young children to have narcissistic traits. When she met Darkstalker, they clicked well due to both being animi and having... less than positive thoughts on the dragons around them. Darkstalker ended up lovebombing her, and telling her to leave when she got mad at Moon. She lashed out at Turtle afterwards, before they reconciled later. I thought this would be important to mention.

Peril likely has a few personality disorders as well, the most likely ones in my opinion being BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and DPD (Dependent Personality Disorder), which isn't surprising given her situation. She likely has tons of trauma so it's only natural for her to develop a traumagenic disorder. I say those in particular because of her rapidly changing thoughts and emotions and her over attachment to Clay, which I can definitely relate to given how I act with my DP (Dependent Person). I don't have BPD though I show traits (not sure if enough for a diagnosis or not) and I remember Peril showing traits too.

There's also a lot of dragons that probably have PTSD in some way, Fathom, Peril, and Jerboa III being the first ones that come to mind specifically.

I seriously think this is an important topic and I might make a video on it at some point. Like I said, I love psychology and I think it's interesting how it impacts characters from my favourite book series.

.

[pep-the-artemis]

Is CYN Autistic and is She Good Representation?

Murder Drones ⟨00⟩ is an indie show about robots; created by Glitch Productions ⟨01⟩; directed by Liam Vickers ⟨02⟩: all episodes are free to watch on YouTube and I do recommend watching. The show follows a robot girl named Uzi and her best friend N; CYN (the subject of this post) is N’s adoptive younger sister. Many people in the Murder Drones fandom (including myself) have identified her as being autistic but is this the case and is she a good representation? 

In this post I will try to go over all the evidence we have which suggests she is/isn’t autistic and discuss what it means to be a good representation. I have split this post into three parts,

Is CYN Autistic (Minor Spoiler warning)

Is CYN Autistic (Major Spoiler warning)

What is Good Representation and does CYN qualify?

If you enjoy reading this, consider reblogging and checking out my other post where I go into the science behind "if N is colour blind?⟨3⟩”. I must forewarn, I am not a medical doctor nor am I qualified in any adjacent fields relating to disabilities, I am just an autistic person who enjoys film theory.

All references used are linked too and also supplied at the bottom.

[image transcript; a picture of the character CYN from Murder Drones Episode 5 sitting behind a bar counter holding a ceramic teacup]

The first point I want to make is to address the possible concerns over CYN being a Worker Drone (the name given to one type of robot in Murder Drones) as, in media, autistic people are often negatively represented through machines. This is not the case here, in the show most characters are robots and behave neurotypically; the behaviours and mannerisms of CYN will expressly be discussed in comparison to the rest of the cast. This will also be discussed more in greater detail later in the post.

Part 1 - Evidence : Minor Spoiler Warning

Posture

The manner in which CYN stands gives us multiple strong indications that she is neurotypical. Contrary to common belief, autism both affects a person mentally and physically with a strong overlap between the two⟨04⟩. 

[image transcript; a picture of the character CYN from Murder Drones Episode 5 standing looking upwards towards the camera smiling with a crooked posture]

Going from top to bottom, the notable traits are;

CYN is very short, being estimated to be ~100cm or ~3'4''. For comparison, most Worker Drones are around 132cm or 4'4''. This is likely due to her being a child but there have been studies which have found that Autistic people are generally taller than their neurotypical counterparts⟨05⟩.

CYN holds her head at a tilt which is an common autism stim⟨06⟩. We also see that she often uses her hand to adjust her head or to hold it in support, leading to the conclusion that she has hypotonia (weak “muscles”) which is characterised by symptoms like difficulty holding the head up, difficulties with sitting up⟨07⟩, and poor posture; all identified in CYN. The source just provided focuses mainly on infants but I did manage to find a case study of a ten year old written by Mark Hutten⟨08⟩. I also found an interesting study saying head tilting can assist in helping an autistic person with facial recognition⟨09⟩.

CYNs elbows are constantly bent over a 90 degree angle pulling her arms towards her chest. This is known as “T-Rex Arms” in the autistic community and is usually believed to be a form of stimming⟨10⟩. 

When not being used, CYNs hands are constantly limp. This is a commonly seen extension to the “T-Rex Arms”. I was unable to find a scholarly article but I did find a discussion point by the online influencer Autistic Emmalyn⟨11⟩.

CYN leans towards her left leg and her right leg is distinctly more bent, this is common in autistic people caused by what's known as “Leg length discrepancy”⟨12⟩. Note, I've found contradictory evidence for what causes “Leg length discrepancy”; does the posture decrease leg length, does the leg length induce posture, or is differing leg length an illusion. It is also unusual for both legs to be bent so it's hard to say with certainty this is the cause.

CYN points her feet inwards which is known as in-toeing which is a common symptom of autism although only generally present in young children⟨13⟩. In-toeing can be caused by “femoral anteversion”: I found no study directly correlating “Femoral Anteversion” and autism but I did find a study which correlated hypermobility with autism⟨14⟩ and a study which correlated “Femoral Anteversion'' with hypermobility⟨15⟩. Hypermobility has also been shown to be correlated with hypotonia⟨16⟩.

CYN is seen pulling her thighs inwards which is a sign of autism and many autistic people (specifically autistic children) do it to help them find balance⟨13⟩.

Note that there is one scene in which she doesn’t stand in the manner described above, in this scene she is not the focus and she’s very much obscured. I believe at this point this is likely an animation error. I will be discussing this in greater detail later on but cannot currently due to the problem of spoilers.

[image transcript; a picture of the character CYN from Murder Drones Episode 5. The shot is of her standing neurotypically from behind while holding a ceramic teacup]

Walking

The problem with discussing the manner in which CYN walks is that we get limited shots of her walking, particularly unsupported. The best evidence we do have comes from the gala preparations in episode 5 but in that scene the lower parts of her legs are obscured and she is taking aid from N. There are other scenes where we somewhat see her walk but they each come with their own problems.

[image transcript; a picture of CYN (left) walking holding onto her older brother N (right)]

By comparing the number of times CYN and N’s head bob while walking together we get an indication of their respective stride lengths, by watching the scene at 0.25 speed CYN takes ~16 steps and N takes ~9 steps. Since they’re walking in tandem, we can conclude that CYNs stride length is 9/16=~0.5625 times that of N’s. Since stride length and height are directly proportional17, we can take into account their height difference by multiplying by the ratio of their heights (132cm/100cm=1.32) which gives us 1.32*0.5625=0.7425 so even when height is taken into account, CYNs stride length is significantly smaller than N’s and a smaller stride length is a symptom of autism⟨17⟩. This is also backed up in other scenes where we see CYN move and her stride appears very short.

While walking with N, her gait (distance between feet) is neurotypical, in other scenes where we see her walk, without aid, this is not the case so this is a direct example of where we cannot be certain of the information we’re getting from the gala preparation scene. A wider gait length is a sign of autism⟨18⟩.

When looking at the movement of her kneecaps compared to N and the other servants, she has a distinct increased hip flexion which is a symptom of autism which is an action taken to mitigate the effects of autism on mobility⟨18⟩.

Although she has an increased hip flexion, her knee’s do not appear to bend significantly which is another sign of autism along with limited ankle movement⟨18⟩. We only see one shot in the show where we see CYN feet while she’s moving and in that she takes only one small step backwards but it does seem that her ankles don’t bend, I am reluctant to push this as evidence due to how limited the data is.

In the cathedral scene, we see that she seemingly pauses between steps as she walks (this behaviour is not present when walking with N). This is referred to as an increase in the stance phrase which is a sign of autism⟨18⟩.

Oral

CYN (voiced by Allanah Fitzgerald⟨19⟩) has a very distinct manner in which she talks, for those unaware her voice sounds very reminiscent of Siri/Alexa which strongly contrasts most other characters in the show who have fully articulated voices. Without going into details (to avoid spoilers), there is an argument that can be made that her voice is the default for Worker Drones.

[image transcript; a picture of the character CYN from Murder Drones Episode 5 kneeling on a bar counter holding up her head with the back of her hand]

Here is a transcript of a conversation between CYN and N.

N       - *walking in*

CYN - “You seem, upset—big brother—N. Perhaps you'd like to attend the gala with me?—light sip”

N        -  “Ahh, not sure we’re invited, little buddy. Why not just hang with me?”

CYN - “climbing, criss cross applesauce—am I—not wanted, N?”

N        - “aww dude, you know its her parents… ahh, don’t give me those eyes”

CYN - “giggle, I am so naughty.”

certain parts of N’s lines being altered to avoid spoilers (CYNs lines have been left virtually unchanged).

The most obvious part of her language is her rigid voice, it is very monotone. This is not hard to correlate to Autism as ‘robotic’ is a common descriptor used to describe one of the ways people who are autistic talk⟨20⟩. I do want to mention that although her voice is robotic, she isn’t emotionless, through her actions it is clear she can feel a wide range of complex emotions including humour and annoyance; it's just she struggles showing it⟨23⟩.

CYN also uses phrases when performing certain actions such as “criss cross applesauce” when she is sitting down; this is a sign of Echolalia⟨20⟩ which is very common for autistic people⟨20⟩. Her phrase “you’d like to attend the gala with me” also gives the implications of delayed Echolalia⟨21⟩. Note, certain things she vocalises like “giggle” and “annoyed expression” aren’t Echolalia.

CYN does not show any sins of having narrow interests which is usually a common  symptom of Autism⟨20⟩. This may be a result of her limited screen presence as we don’t get significant indications of any of her interests.

Since we don’t see CYN through multiple stages of her life, it is difficult to determine if her language skills have developed unevenly⟨20⟩. She does mix childish and formal language together as she talks which can be interpreted as implying uneven language skills. I think the explanation of Echolalia fits better.

[image transcript; a close up picture of the character CYN from Murder Drones Episode 5 kneeling on a bar counter holding out her hands making an excited expression with her tongue out] (author note, do not question why she has a tongue)

Her face, although much less emotive, isn’t devoid of emotion; she can somewhat show emotions like fear and can be very expressive but only in a rigid and forced manner although her face is usually unexpressive. She also sometimes she visually shows the wrong emotions like with the picture above she is excited but here eyes are showing the scared emotion. All these is very stereotypical of autistic people and defies the common stereotype⟨22⟩.

Now we have come to the end of part 1, which is sad ): . Please consider reblogging, this took a lot of time and research to put together and I'm sure there's still mistakes and inaccuracies. So what conclusions can we draw from this information… not much since a lot of important information has been left out since they cannot be discussed without major spoilers for the show. Thank you for reading.

References

⟨0⟩Liam Vickers | Murder Drones Episodes

⟨1⟩Luke and Kevin Lerdwichagul | Glitch Productions

⟨2⟩Liam Vickers | Liam Vickers Productions

⟨3⟩pep-the-artemis | Is N ColourBlind?

⟨4⟩I lost the intended link | so here’s a cat

⟨5⟩Interactive Autism Network | Relationship Between Autism and Height

⟨6⟩Carmen B. Pingree | Signs of Autism

⟨7⟩Medical News Today | Hypotonia

⟨8⟩Mark Hutton | Hypotonia Case Study

⟨9⟩NeuroScience News | Head Tilt Social Engagement

⟨10⟩Cross River Therapy | T-Rex Arms in Autism

⟨11⟩Autistic Emmalyn | Autistic Arms

⟨12⟩YAI | Posture and Gait of Autistic Individuals

⟨13⟩NHS | In-Toeing

⟨14⟩National Library of Medicine | The Relationship Between Generalised Joint Hypermobility and Autism Spectrum Disorder in Adults: A Large, Cross-Sectional, Case Control Comparison

⟨15⟩National Library of Medicine | Is there a correlation between the femoral anteversion angle and the elasticity of the hip muscles in cases of intoeing gait due to increased femoral anteversion angle?

⟨16⟩The Royal Childrens Hospital Melbourne | Low muscle tone

⟨17⟩Scientific America | Stepping Science: Estimating Someone's Height from Their Walk

⟨18⟩National Library of Medicine | Gait deviations in children with autism spectrum disorders: a review

⟨19⟩Allanah Fitzgerald | FitzyVA

⟨20⟩National Institute of Hearing | Autism Spectrum Disorder: Communication Problems in Children 

⟨21⟩The Autism Therapy Group | Echolalia in Autism: What It Is and How To Treat It

⟨22⟩app2vox | Understanding autism and emotions

[sophieinwonderland]

Wait until sysmeds find out that autism is a spectrum!

Can you be a little bit autistic?

I get the argument that you either have a disorder or you don't. But frankly, it's a pretty ignorant argument that ignores how disorders actually work and are diagnosed.

People like to say that autism is neurological. Which yes, there are some neurological differences on average between autistic and allistic people. However, these neurological differences aren't absolute. We can't diagnose autism with a brain scan, for instance, the same way we could diagnose brain damage. The differences just aren't reliable enough to look at a brain and say that person is autistic.

Some may believe that we'll be able to diagnose autism with brain scans in the future, but there's no telling if that will ever be possible.

As it is now, autism isn't diagnosed by the structure of the brain. It, like most psychiatric disorders, is diagnosed by the psychological symptoms. And in the DSM, requires clinically significant impairment in important areas of functioning:

Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of current functioning.

And that term, clinically significant, does a pretty good job at showing how arbitrary all of this is.

Basically, you have autism if your clinician deems your impairment significant enough for you to have autism.

Let's discuss grey areas

With that in mind, I think the whole "you're either autistic or you're not is pretty stupid. Because you can have enough autistic traits in every other regard but not severe enough to be impaired by them.

More importantly, autism is a spectrum and there's going to be low support needs autistic people who could pass as allistic. And not all clinicians will agree.

Hypothetical: A person visits 100 doctors to be diagnosed. They meet all the other criteria for ASD, but only 50 believe they're impaired enough to be diagnosed with ASD?

Does this person have ASD or not? And why?

What if you adjust the number? What if 80 say they pass the bar for clinically significant impairment? What if only 10 do? What if only 1 does?

If you want to treat autism like something that objectively exists in patients, then where is the cutoff for this impairment?

Is someone with a 1% chance of being diagnosed with autism from a single clinician autistic? What about someone with a 20% or 60% chance?

Do you realize yet how ridiculous it is to try to fit mental disorders into these hard boxes and treat them as things that objectively exist in the brain?

Can you be a little bit of a system?

Putting aside the fact that non-disordered systems do exist, the OP could easily be describing OSDD.

At this point, you're just fakeclaiming people for describing common experiences that are accounted for in the DSM.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

hii i wanted to ask about the long term affects of masking, especially if you’ve been undiagnosed until adulthood.

personally, i’ve recently concluded that i’m autistic (gonna get a diagnosis so i can finally get accommodations at uni and finish my degree woo) and i wanted to make an art piece reflecting that but i wanted to know if anyone else experienced that too.

Hi there,

Here are some source about masking and its consequences:

Here are some of the effects of regular masking:

Stress and anxiety. In a 2019 studyTrusted Source, researchers found that stress and anxiety were higher in people who routinely masked autistic traits, compared to those who used masking less often.

Depression. In 2018, researchersTrusted Source interviewed 111 autistic adults, finding that those who reported masking their autistic traits had symptoms of depression and felt unaccepted by people in their social sphere.

Exhaustion. Masking consumes huge amounts of energy. In a 2016 studyTrusted Source, women who used masking to satisfy neurotypical standards said they felt exhausted by the constant effort.

Delayed identification of autism. Some people are so successful with masking that their autism isn’t identified until they are much older. That delay can lead to mental health issues because people don’t get the support or understanding they need.

Loss of identity. Some people who mask their identity, interests, and traits end up feeling that they no longer know who they really are. Some have said masking feels like self-betrayal; others have said masking makes them feel they’re deceiving other people.

Risk of autistic burnout. When people push themselves to behave in ways that don’t feel authentic, the result can be an overwhelming feeling of overload, sometimes called autistic burnoutTrusted Source. Masking may require an extended period of quiet withdrawal and recovery.

Increased risk of suicidal thoughts. In a recent studyTrusted Source, prolonged masking was linked to “lifetime suicidality.” The study was relatively small (160 students) and involved primarily women (89.6 percent). However, it showed that masking led to feeling like a burden, which in turn led to more suicidal thoughts over the course of a lifetime.

This source says:

However, just because a coping strategy was once useful, it doesn’t mean it always will be. Studies are now beginning to find how detrimental to our mental health masking can be (Bradley et al., 2021; Hull et al., 2019). Autistic people who mask more show more signs of anxiety and depression, and the strategy may even been linked to an increase in suicidal behaviours (Cassidy et al. 2018).

I really hope these help. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️