#sausages and the ham >:3

[chestersbraincell]

Oooo I wanna play some game on the puter!!

*the most diabolical cat-pilled shift known to man*

[foodshowxyz]

Home baked calzone

Ingredients:

For the Dough:

500 grams of all-purpose flour, plus extra for dusting

1 teaspoon of salt

7 grams of instant yeast (1 sachet)

1 tablespoon of olive oil, plus extra for greasing

300 ml of warm water

For the Filling:

250 grams of ricotta cheese

100 grams of mozzarella cheese, shredded

50 grams of Parmesan cheese, grated

100 grams of cooked ham, diced

2 teaspoons of dried oregano

Salt and pepper to taste

Optional: other fillings like sautéed vegetables, cooked sausage, or pepperoni slices

For Brushing:

1 egg, beaten

A pinch of salt

Sesame or poppy seeds (optional)

For Serving:

Fresh basil or parsley, chopped

A handful of cherry tomatoes, halved

Instructions:

1. Prepare the Dough:

In a large mixing bowl, combine the flour and salt.

In a separate bowl, mix the yeast with warm water and let it sit for a few minutes.

Make a well in the center of the flour and pour in the olive oil and yeast mixture.

Gradually mix the flour into the wet ingredients until a dough begins to form.

Knead the dough on a floured surface for about 10 minutes, or until it's smooth and elastic.

Place the dough in a lightly oiled bowl, cover with a cloth, and let it rise in a warm place for about 1 hour or until it has doubled in size.

2. Prepare the Filling:

In a bowl, combine the ricotta, mozzarella, and Parmesan cheese.

Add the diced ham and oregano, then season with salt and pepper. Mix well.

3. Assemble the Calzones:

Once the dough has risen, punch it down and divide it into 4 equal pieces.

On a floured surface, roll out each piece into a circle about 20 cm in diameter.

Spread a portion of the filling on one half of each circle, leaving a margin around the edge for sealing.

Fold the dough over the filling to create a half-moon shape. Pinch and roll the edges together to seal.

Transfer the calzones to a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.

4. Prepare for Baking:

Preheat your oven to 220°C (428°F).

Brush the tops of the calzones with the beaten egg. Sprinkle with a pinch of salt and seeds if using.

With a sharp knife, make a few small slits on the top of each calzone to allow steam to escape.

5. Bake the Calzones:

Bake in the preheated oven for 15-20 minutes, or until they are golden brown and the filling is bubbly.

[coneheads-deserved-a-noble-prize]

I AM SO TIRED OF PEOPLE ASSOCIATING ALASTOR WITH ONLY JAMBALAYA SO HERE ARE OTHER CREOLE DISHES YOU HEATHENS

Fanfiction and Comic creators, this is for you especially.

Crawfish Étouffée

This beautiful dish was invented in Breaux Bridge Louisiana, where our favourite radio star is from! Although it's invention is attributed the Herbet Hotel in the 1950s -after Alastors death- it is a classic.

Crawfish Étouffée has a sauce typically made from a blonde roux with that classic cajun seasoning. It contains the Holy Trinity of cajun cooking too: bell peppers, onions and celery. The main meat of this dish is crawfish tails and it is usually served with carbs like cornbread, cajun rice or vegetables such as green beans and potato salad.

It is chock full of flavour, and a filling inexpensive dish for low income families - which I believe Alastor is from.

Some alternatives to the crawfish are chicken and shrimp.

-----

The difference between Étouffée and Gumbo.

These two often get mixed up, and I understand, they're both classic Bayou dishes. Here's how to differentiate them.

Texture: Both dishes use shrimp, chicken, or crawfish tail broth. BUT Jumbo has a thicker consistency, it's made from a dark roux and it tends to use more liquid to remain stew-like.

Flavour: Gumbo and Étouffée both use Cajun seasoning, but due to Étouffées blonde roux, it has a lighter, sweeter taste than the darker, fullness of flavour in Gumbo.

Meat: Gumbo uses a variety of meats at the same time (often shrimp and sausage are key components), as mentioned in the alternatives above, Étouffée typically does not.

-----

2. Red Beans and Rice

We're on a roll guys! This is another dish from Louisiana! Although, it is specifically associated with New Orleans, where Alastor hosted his radio show. It has a fascinating history, partly due to it's African and French/Spanish routes - But it was also a struggle meal during the Great Depression. It was originally a Creole, not Cajun dish.

(Note: Red Beans and Kidney Beans are different legumes)

This dish also contains the Holy Trinity, as well as bay leaves, oregano, cayenne pepper, garlic powder and more. Its protein comes from Andouille sausages, but like Gumbo, a variety of meats are used. If you want Alastor to be traditional about it, he should make it on a Monday incorporating the left over ham bones from Sunday dinner. It is also complimented with long grain white rice and green beans, amongst many other things.

Considering Alastor witnessed the Stock Market Crash of 1929 -which led to the Great Depression - There is no way he hasn't come across this dish before.

3. Creole Bread Pudding

The queen of Creole Dessert has arrived. Can you guess where she's from? DING-DING-DING! That's right! New Orleans Louisiana baby! Recipes of this treat have been recorded since 1885, so it suffices to say she's a classic.

Like most bread puddings, it is made by combining stale bread (preferably French), beaten eggs and milk. However, this variation often has an incredible amount of vanilla extract. What it will be complimented with varies from person to person. Some examples are: Whipped meringue and whisky, raisins and apple, or walnuts and butter.

Although not as popular in the modern day, I like to imagine this is something Mimzy, Rosie and Alastor might share together on a day out.

-----

There you go! I hope you enjoyed this - but more importantly I hope this helps people create a more diverse version of those cosy Alastor cooking scenes that I love.

[dunmeshistash]

Dungeon Meshi - "Dungeon Meals" from volumes 5 to 8

More info under the cut

These are from chapter 29 to 56 (Volumes 5 to 8)

1 to 4

There were a total of 24 'Meals' this time in 28 chapters, for more info on the counting check the first post

Here's the meals of each chapter and who made them.

Chapter 29 - Red Dragon VII Meal: Boneless Dragon Ham Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 30 - Good Medicine Meal: Orcish Decoction Cooked by: Leed

Chapter 31 - Dryad Meal: Jack-O-Lantern Potage & Sauteed Dryad Buds with Cheese Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 33 - Sea Serpent, part 2 Meal: Portable Meal Set For Adventurers Cooked by: ? (ready made rations)

Chapter 34 - Cockatrice Meal: Eisbein-Style Cockatrice & Dyad Bud Sauerkraut With a Side of Grilled Anti-Petrify Herb Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 35 - Cleaners Meal 1: Cockatrice & Egg Ankake Cooked by: Senshi Meal 2: Stone Dish Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 36 - Dried with Sweet Sake (Mirinboshi) Meal: Eastern Style Cuisine Cooked by: Maizuru, Senshi and Chilchuck (Benichidori, Hien and Tade helped with prepping)

Chapter 38 - Chimera Meal: Omelette Made With a Harpy Egg Cooked by: Laios with Senshi's help

Chapter 40 - Shapeshifter 2 Meal: Memories of the 5th Floor Pilaf, Sweet Dyad and Whole 5th Floor Piccata Cooked by: Shapeshifters, Senshi, Marcille and Chilchuck

Chapter 41 - Hag Meal: Risotto Made From Mushrooms Collected at the Graveyard & Cheese from the Orcs Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 42 - Nightmare Meal: Nightmare Steamed in Alcohol Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 43- Ice Golem Meal: Ice Golem Chawan-Mushi & Cooked Fish that was Inside the Ice Golem Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 44 - Barometz Meal: Barometz Balut (Alternative Name: Barometz Chops) Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 45 - Egg Meal: Souful Eggs Benedict Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 46 - The Golden Country Meal: Vegetables in Jellied Slime, Rack of Beef Ribs, Bladefish Loaf, Potato and Rabbit Soup Cooked by: Golden Country Citizens

Chapter 47 - Griffin Meal: The Breakfast Senshi Made (Pancakes, Sausage, Pumpkin Soup, Scrambled Eggs) Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 48 - Familiars Meal: Skyfish and Chips Cooked by: Laios

Chapter 49 - Griffin Soup Meal 1: Griffin Soup (Upper Body), Griffin Soup (Lower Body) Cooked by: Senshi Meal 2: Hippogriff Soup Cooked by: Laios

Chapter 50 - Dumplings 1 Meal: Hippogriff Dumplings Cooked by: Senshi, Laios, Marcille, Chilchuck and Izutsumi (everyone)

Chapter 51 - Dumplings 2 Meal: Changeling-Dumplings via Fairy Ring Cooked by: Senshi

Chapter 55 - On Floor One 3 Meal: Hamburger Steak with Changeling sauce Cooked by: Senshi and Marcille

Chapter 56 - Bicorn Meal: Crispy Crunchy Mushroom Sandwich Cooked by: Senshi?

The chapters that had no "meal is done" panel were:

32 - Sea Serpent Part 1

37 - Harpy

39 - Shapeshifter 1

52 - Bacon and Eggs

53 - On Floor One 1

54 - On Floor One 2

Again most of them are the multi parts. chapter 47 originally didn't have the title and stats but the panel looked just like a food is done panel so I went to check on the official release and they added it so it's here. Chapter 37 I think its so far the only non multi part chapter where no food is prepped or eaten, in chapter 52 they make and drink tea even tho there's no special panel.

Now for stats.

Senshi made/worked on 17, 18 if you count the Crispy Crunchy Mushroom Sandwich and 19 if you count the small help with the omelet, I'll count the sandwich so 18.

Chilchuck worked on 3 meals

Marcille worked on 3 meals, one of them she was making a potion but it got used in a sauce

Laios made/worked on 4 meals, 2 of them by himself! And one of them with minimal Senshi help.

Izutsumi helped with the dumplings, you go izutsumi.

Out of the 24 meals in these 4 volumes, 22 were food and 1 was medicine and 1 was a goopy brick

Out of the 22 foods Senshi worked on 17 of them (1 of his was the brick), 3 of them were Laios, 1 of them was ready made food and 1 was the golden kingdom citizens

The eastern style meal was mostly made by Maizuru but Senshi helped.

There was a few panels that were small/had dialog in them but I counted cause they had the meal title, dragon ham title appears twice but I only counted as one meal.

Once again, I'm bad with numbers if I got anything wrong feel free to correct me!

[squishy-goblin]

A pan pizza with garlic sauce, ham, and bacon.

A pan pizza with Alfredo sauce and sausage.

(Not) Butter as a dipping sauce.

And a Brownie cookie. W milk

The butter spread is so good bc it's make with sweet cream and salted

Baby is v happy <3

[fruitgummies01]

Vibes for Episode 5 - JUST FOOD!!

Lets Get Into It… Episode 5 of Are You Sure

Gonna try and write down my thoughts as I watch the episode this time and things that stick out to me, since I have time haha.

The episode is only 56 minutes, boooooo!!!

2. Tae saying "It's not just the meat, but the chef that's amazing" and JK giving a sorta half way thumbs up and going back to what he was doing lowkey took me out.

3. Jimin always looks great, but he looks particularly great in these Jeju episodes. His hair is really hair-ing lol.

4. I like that Jimin and Jungkook take care of their staff and make sure that they are also eating. No matter where they are, that always stays the same.

5. Jimin and Jungkook talking about enlisting together. Soooo happy to see their joy in that moment and what it must've meant for both of them, and how they were already imagining what it would be like waking up together and sleeping arrangements and all. Didn't realize it at the moment, but waiting for that finally decision must've weighed heavily on them, which kind of recontextualizes the first two episodes in the US/NY/Connecticut. Also the amount of empty bottles on the table, they both must've been feeling pretty loose at this point lmaoooo. [ Sidenote -- I was slightly annoyed that we finally got to see them having this conversation, and Tae was nose deep in his phone during most of it at the table. Appreciated the editors trying to frame him out of the scene, but still. ]

6. Speaking of, Tae coming in and out of scenes was soooo noticeable, especially in this episode for some reason. Sometimes felt like he was either not there, or when he was, he was on his phone off to the side.

7. Interesting that both Jimin and Tae thought the dish was ham, instead of pink sausage (even though Jimin knew it wasn't he was just supporting Tae), but even though Tae was way more insistent on it being ham, Jungkook only pretended like he was going to "punch" Jimin lol. Kinda felt like he took it personally that Jimin didn't side with him.😂

8. So they took footage from while Jungkook was in New York on a separate schedule, thinking about what to make in Jeju. Cute that he was thinking about what Jimin would love. Head full of Jimin, SAME!

9. I know that Jungkook gets a lot of pushback about how he sometimes treats Jimin (I personally don't get that), but he seemed really focused on him this episode. Like it's super obvious to me that he cares A LOT about him, and not just on a surface level because cameras are there. It's really in the little things that leave an impact on me.

10. Jungkook really loves to cook and watching him figure out recipes is so endearing, and Jimin sitting near him/falling asleep while he works to make the stew he thought Jimin would love days earlier was actually really wholesome and touching.

11. Jimin taking off his shirt mid way through eating the stew JK prepared, while everyone else standing around the table is fully clothed made me laugh so much. And not one explanation in sight. Ok cool Jimin is just here nips out and everything, love that for him lol.😅

12. The wrap up at the end was cute. It was nice that they made Tae feel welcomed, and told him how grateful they were that he was there. It really was such a positive note to end on.

All in all it was an enjoyable episode, that focused mainly on food and driving from spot to spot. Very happy for a change in scenery though.

BRING ON SAPPORO!!!!

My personal rank of episodes so far… 2 -> 1 -> 4 -> 5 -> 3

[lowcarbloves]

**Low Carb Pizza Bowls 🍕🥣**

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🙏 Follow for more 🔃 Share this recipe with friends and family members 😋

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- **Ingredients:**

- 1-2 tablespoons of pizza sauce

- 1 cup of mozzarella cheese (adjust to your preference)

- Toppings: Choose from pepperoni, cooked hamburger, cooked Italian sausage, onions, bell peppers, black olives, banana peppers, ham, pineapple, spinach—the possibilities are endless!.

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📚If you want to buy my recipe cookbook then write yes in the comment..

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**Instructions:**

1. Select your favorite toppings and decide whether to mix them all together or layer them in your bowl.

2. Top with mozzarella cheese.

3. Bake at 350°F (175°C) for 15-20 minutes, or until the cheese is golden brown.

Enjoy your delicious low-carb pizza bowl!

[tomssexdoll]

day 2 of asking you of reader doing for date with Tom at her house heart-shaped pizza (i’m sorry i’m asking you again i won’t ask you again and you don’t have to do it i really love your fics<3)

ladies ladies one at a time

jk

"Hey baby, you ready for that date" Tom said over the phone, excitement in his voice, I giggled "of course, come over I have everything ready"

And with that, in 5 minutes he was at my doorstep, rushing into the house and engulfing me in the tightest hug ever. "I missed you so much baby..I hate going on tour" he mumbled, peppering kissing all over my face.

"Tom stopp! Cmon!" I smirked and grabbed his hand, guiding him to the kitchen where everything was prepared. "We are making the dough, don't complain when it gets hard" I patted his cheek and set up our ingredients.

We started to make the dough, our hands getting sticky. "This is so gross.." I grunted, mixing everything together and adding more flour. Tom just played with it, smacking it like it was my ass or something.

I grinned, noticing how focused he was and grabbed flour, smashing it into his face, he gasped and grabbed me by my waist, dirtying my shirt with his doughy fingers.

"Tom! My shirt!" I complained, "that's what you get for putting flour in my face you little shit!" he smashed his lips into mine, the taste of flour creeping into my mouth.

I pulled away and took my shirt off, leaving me in my lacey bra. "Ohh la la.." he smirked, getting ready to smack my ass, "no! I'm not taking my pants off don't even think about that" I glared deeply at him, he shot his hands up in surrender, a big grin plastered on his face.

We finished making our dough and started to mould it into a heart, I noticed Tom having trouble shaping it correctly, "here, let me help you liebe" I shuffled over, his head resting on my shoulders as I guided his hands with mine to roll it out to the perfect shape.

We eventually got there, I quickly moulded mine and grabbed the sauce, cheese and toppings. He started to SLATHER sauce onto his dough, coating it and spattering it all over himself and the counter.

I was busy finishing mine when he came up behind me and swiped sauce on my face, grabbing my hips and pulling me into him tightly so I couldn't escape, "tom! noo!" I giggled, grabbing the cheese and turning around, shoving it into his mouth.

"Mm, thanks baby" he mumbled, mouth full of food, "close your mouth baby.." I rolled my eyes playfully and turned back around, Tom still holding me sweetly and helping me choose my toppings. I added onions, ham, olives and mushrooms, a simple but yummy selection.

We shifted to his pizza, his arms reaching over for toppings as I watched him load it with onions, olives, peppers, mushrooms, pepperoni, ham, sausage, extra cheese and tomatos. "Oh god Tom..look at how high you made it, it's literally a mountain" I giggled, putting both of our pizzas on a tray and putting it into the oven.

I sighed and walked back over to Tom, wrapping my arms around him and hugging him, "that was tiring.." I yawned, burying my face in his chest. "Lets rest baby, cmon" he lifted me up, carrying me onto the couch and laying me down on his chest.

30 minutes passed and the timer went off, signalling to us that our pizzas were done. Tom shot up and raced to the oven, pulling them out and nearly dropping it on the floor.

I walked up to the counter and grabbed a knife, cutting them into slices and admiring our work. "They are so cute baby" he chuckled, kissing my cheek and plating the food, grabbing 2 bottles of cola and sitting down onto the couch.

We decided to put the movie we watched when we had our first date, a memory we cherished deeply. I held the plate in my hands, leaning against Tom and enjoying the delicious pizza we made.

tags: @itsmealaiah @itsangelll @tomscumdoll @tomkaulitzloverr @charliesgoodboy @estxkios @ge-billsgf @ballhair @bkaulitzlover @cyberleathalz

[matchalovertrait]

So many people, so many different thoughts and opinions!

Start from the beginning

Previous | Next

Transcript:

(1.) [Andrea] You have 30 minutes to make an appetizer using all four of the basket ingredients. The timer starts... Now!

(2.) [Alex] I'm making a raclette with an assortment of merguez sausage, vegetable flatbread, pea shoots, and a side of shakshuka sauce. I think everything will go nicely with the melted cheese.

(3.) [Alex] I'll add ham, salami, steamed potatoes, and olives. I'm kind of playing it safe, but I hope the variety of flavors work out for me. It's all part of my strategy to at least get to the second round.

(4.) [Lewis] I've calmed down now. I decided to make a salad with pea shoots, crumbled sausage, flatbread croutons, and a shakshuka vinaigrette.

(5.) [Lewis] It's a salad. I can't possibly mess this up.... right?

(6.) [Dulce] I went with pizza wedges with a flatbread crust. They'll have shakshuka sauce, pea shoots, and merguez sausage. Of course, I'll be adding some mozzarella and parmesan cheese.

(7.) [Dulce] The pizza wedges are going to be soooo cute and fun. I'll also put some bacon bits and garlic. I can't put too many things, though. The wedges aren't going to be that big.

(8.) [Rubiya] I'm making spaghetti with merguez sausage meatballs, shakshuka sauce, and pea shoots. I'll add the vegetables from the flatbread to my sauce and use the rest of the flatbread to make garlic bread.

(9.) [Rubiya] Could I have made shakshuka? Yes, but that's rather predictable. Also, as someone from a Middle Eastern family, I refuse to use premade shakshuka sauce. I must make it from scratch.

(10.) [Andrea] It's time to introduce the two judges here today who are joining Michelin-Starred Chef, Mia D'Angelo-Ramirez.

(11.) [Mia] Thank you, Andrea. I'm always accompanied by amazing people, but I think the viewers and contestants will find today's lineup quite astounding.

(12.) [Dulce] Wow, it's actually her... I look up to Chef Mia a lot as another Mexican-Italian. I don't have Italian blood like her, but I was born here. I want to be on her level someday.

(13.) [Lewis] Oh my gosh..... I know Chef Mia is in every episode, but I still got nervous again when I saw her at the judges' table. She is so beautiful and talented.

(14.) [Carlo] Mia, you flatter me.

[Andrea] Chef Mia is right, though! Folks, here we have Executive Chef and Food Entrepreneur, Carlo Mancini.

(15.) [Alex] Chef Carlo Mancini??? He's the real deal. It's too late to change my appetizer now, so I have to impress him with my raclette.

(16.) [Rubiya] Chef Carlo Mancini. This will be fun.

(17.) [Andrea] And here's Grammy Award winner, Sofia Bjergsen!

[Sofia] Thank you so much. I've already been having a blast here. Not many people know this, but I was actually in culinary school for a bit before I decided to pursue music full-time.

(18.) [Dulce] THE Sofia Bjergsen??? I have all of her vinyl records! My favorite song by her is My Love Knows. I know the entire choreography for that song... here, I'll show you!

(19.) *My Love Knows by Sofia Bjergsen starts playing*

(20.) *My Love Knows by Sofia Bjergsen starts playing*

(21.) [Alex] Okay, I'll admit that I'm a fan, but what is she doing here? Isn't she on a world tour right now?

(22.) [Andrea] We are overjoyed to have the three of you as judges. Please, talk amongst yourselves while I check on the chefs.

[dumber-alek]

I saw a poll about superior breakfast foods and this poll was so American i decided to make my own but Polish (if it's too regional or too personal I'm sorry in advance) so it's just as incomprehensible and unrelatable to people from other cultures as American-centric polls usually are to me LETS GO

A couple of disclaimers :

Disclaimer 1: most of these are elements of breakfast not full breakfast meals. Meats and eggs are usually paired with sourdough bread or rolls, and vegetables: most often fresh or pickled cucumbers, chives or green onion, radish, and tomatoes (usually in summer cause in winter they taste like cardboard).

Disclaimer 2: These are the foods me and my girlfriend from kinda poor families in the South of Poland remember eating growing up in early 2000s. So if your experiences of Polish breakfast are different uhhh I'm sorry?

Disclaimer 3: Never trust articles in English about Polish breakfast foods because they're either complete bullshit or just Polish dishes that would fit an American idea of breakfast: pancakes and potato pancakes or apple fritters are dinner foods here. So are zapiekanki, any kinds of soups (excluding zupa mleczna which was too weird for me to include cause no one ate it out of free will) and stews.

[foodshowxyz]

Spinach and Ham Quiche

Ingredients:

1 unbaked pie crust (9 inches)  

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 shallot, finely chopped

4 cups fresh spinach, roughly chopped

½ cup diced ham

4 large eggs

1 ½ cups heavy cream

½ cup grated Gruyère cheese

½ teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon black pepper

Instructions:

Preheat oven: to 375°F (190°C).

Sauté: Heat olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Add shallot and cook until softened, about 2 minutes. Add spinach and cook until wilted, about 3-4 minutes. Remove from heat and let cool slightly.  

Assemble: Place the pie crust in a pie dish and crimp the edges. Sprinkle the ham evenly over the bottom of the crust. Top with the spinach mixture.

Whisk: In a bowl, whisk together eggs, heavy cream, Gruyère cheese, salt, and pepper.

Pour: Pour the egg mixture over the spinach and ham.

Bake: Bake for 40-45 minutes, or until the quiche is golden brown and the center is set.

Cool: Let cool for at least 10 minutes before slicing and serving.

Tips:

You can use a store-bought or homemade pie crust.

Feel free to substitute the ham with bacon or sausage.

Other vegetables like mushrooms, bell peppers, or onions can be added for extra flavor.

If you don't have Gruyère cheese, cheddar or Swiss cheese are good alternatives.

You can freeze the quiche before baking. Thaw overnight in the refrigerator and bake as directed.  

[theonevoice]

yello :D I love asking random questions, so what's your favourite pasta shape? also have a lovely day! :P

Oh gosh! I had missed this one, so sorry!

As an Italian I am happy to report that, as far as pasta is concerned, I am a walking stereotype, so my absolute favourite is spaghetti, but since my citizenship requires me to evangelise every possible person that dares to ask me about pasta, I'll give you at least my top 5 pasta shapes (with accurate pictures of how I usually consume them):

1. Sedanini (with salmon)

2. Farfalle ("alla boscaiola", aka "the lumberjack way", mushrooms and sausage)

3. Tagliatelle (with classic ragù)

4. Bucatini ("alla gricia", with guanciale and pecorino)

5. Tortellini (with panna, peas and ham)

If you would like the recipes I'll be happy to provide them! Have a lovely day!

[zeestarfishalien]

My Graveyard Song Ch. 14

(Totally got distracted and forgot to post this to tumblr. It's been up on ao3 for a few days now)

[Masterpost]

Jason looked at the two empty bowls and one empty plate of food Danny had polished off and promptly decides to take him to Rosa Lee’s Diner. They always serve extra large portions of food that stands up to even Alfred’s high standards.

As he urges Spooky into one of the jackets left by his siblings, he shoots a text off to Cass.

[BCC plz 4 Spooky u wel 2 IOU 1 🏠🍝 ur chc]

By the time Cass gets there, Danny is starting on his third plate. Mind you, she got here in under half an hour and Danny is not in fact a speedster, but at the rate Danny is going, Bruce is certainly going to think someone fed a speedster.

Jason is really not sure where all this food is going. By all rights, his spooky friend should be on the verge of exploding from eating more than his body weight in food.

Even the waitstaff are watching this little meta-looking kid down pounds and pounds of food.

Cass passes Jason an unmarked black credit card and sits next to him in order to better watch Danny scarf down his waffles.

Five minutes later when their waiter swings by, Jason orders a platter of beignets and Danny orders Rosa Lee’s own personal special, a breakfast that comes with four slices of ham, a mountain of cheesy scrambled eggs, two pancakes, four breakfast sausage links, two biscuits, and an apple turnover.

At this point, the waiter doesn’t even blink, just asks if he’d like anything to add or substitute.

He asks for 3 extra pancakes.

By the time he's halfway through his stack of pancakes -the last thing left of his Rosa Lee Special- it dawns on Jason, that maybe Danny shouldn't be eating this much when he hasn't eaten regular human food in a long time.

But then again, what does he know? The world is a great big mysterious place and you cannot treat every humanoid looking being by the limitations of humans.

Danny is watching him now, an openly curious look on his face. There's a question in the air between them, even Cass picks up on it.

Carefully slow, Danny sets down his fork and finishes chewing the bite in his mouth.

"You're worried," he croaks, tapping his index finger on the table to emphasize his words.

He pauses, distracted, and looks down at his hand, repeating the motion of tapping his finger on the table while studying it closely. Jason almost breaks into laughter when Danny’s head tilts in an oddly animal like fashion.

If he needed any other proof that Spooky the dog is Danny the spirit sitting before him, this would do it.

His glowing eyes flick back up to Jason.

"Amused," he rasps out barely above a whisper. There's still that unspoken question in the air.

It finally clicks. The emotions Danny is naming are Jason’s. The question he wants to know is 'why'.

"I wasn't sure if you could get sick from overeating. Humans need to ease back into eating normal amounts but you're not human so I don't know what standard to hold you to."

Danny nods absently, his finger tap tap tapping away on the table.

"Hard to say," he says finally. His voice still sounds like gravel, not unlike Cass' own voice.

"Ecto fills in gaps. A temporary fix. Rebuilding with the right stuff now." He gestures vaguely to the empty plates stacked on their table. "Ecto is fast. I'm probably fine."

"Sorry," Jason half mumbles. "I just worry."

All movement from Danny freezes, like someone pressed pause on the TV. His eyes go wide in realization and alarm.

"Jazz..."

Jason blinks and then it hits him with the speed and force of a freight train.

"Oh shit! Jazz!" He scrambles for his phone. "Do you remember anything else about her that might help?!"

~•~

Bill would like everyone to know that he works very hard to be a good hench person.

He's not dumb. Now he may not be book smart like half the big baddies in Gotham, but he's not dumb.

He would have died long ago if that were the case. He's worked for the Red Hood for a couple years now —it's one of the best decisions he's ever made; the guy knows how to treat his hench people. What more can Bill say?— and he's avoided asking questions just like with all his hench jobs before this.

But he'd really like to ask one now that he's stuck watching years worth of security footage...

What even constitutes suspicious activity in a cemetery?

Now most people would automatically say, graverobbing, but Big Red is a Gotham native. In Gotham, no one is buried with their valuables, not unless your grave is in a super secret spot. Gothamites can smell money and anytime there's a possibility of it, people will dig up the grave in question.

Hell, the cops don't even stop for it anymore, they just keep on rollin' even if it's happening right before their eyes.

Point is, graverobbing can't be the suspicious behavior he's supposed to look for, but Bill really isn't sure what exactly does quantify as suspicious behavior to Big Red.

Everything here has been run of the mill, graverobbing, teen/young adult vandalism, or drug deals.

Yes, he considers goth teens/young adults having sex in a cemetery as vandalism too. Vandalism on his eyes, if nothing else.

He hits pause on a big white van and rubs his eyes tiredly. Perhaps it's time to call it a night. He's losing focus, getting caught up in his own thoughts.

His hand hovers over the mouse about to drag it over to close out of the program when his brain catches up to what his eyes are seeing.

The van, big, white, armored...

Now that IS unusual. Black or gray vans are the favored colors in Gotham and anyone, who knows anything about Gotham, knows that you NEVER armor up a suspicious color and type of vehicle. Not if you don't want the cops and vigilantes breaking down your door.

He can just make out two people in bright colors inside the van. They're grainy but not grainy enough for Bill to doubt the color of their outfits.

It's too bright for any regular gothamite. The only people in this city who dress like that are the big shot villains and their cronies.

The two disappear into the cemetery, out of sight of the camera with tools in hand. He scans forward a few hours (less time than he expected honestly) and slows back to normal speed just in time to watch them unload what seems to be some sort of coffin, except it's metal with glowing lines and patterns on it.

He pauses the video again and with elbows resting upon the desk he presses clasped hands against his mouth to muffle his sigh.

Well, if that doesn't constitute suspicious activity then Bill will hand in a letter of resignation and go flip burgers.

Well...time to let the boss know.

Yall thought I made up the part where Bill the Henchman comes in, but I definitely, absolutely had this planned from the beginning. [Lying]

Okay, gonna be honest, I may have had a plan for Bill, but it either was lost in the shuffle or there never actually was a plan for scenes with Bill. Considering I can only sometimes keep my dream memories from mixing with my awake memories, any hope of recovering any potential memories is nigh on impossible.

HOWEVER

I can always make new plans. AND I HAVE! So yes, we have Bill now and I'm going to pretend like this was planned all along.

Oh yeah! So Jason’s text at the beginning says: Black credit card please, for Spooky. You are welcome too. I owe you one homemade meal, your choice.

Also can you imagine being a vigilante? Bc you have at least 10 very important things you have to juggle on just an average Tuesday. This is not including sudden family disasters like a family member getting trapped in a burning building and having to go save them, plus more wild revelations about your funky supernatural roomie. So like, cut a guy some slack, I know I'd be floundering some days. Attempting to prioritize must really be a bitch some days. Just...oof...

[skin-of-my-teeth]

The Taste of Fear

Tags: horror, hard vore, fatal, explicit vore, digestion, weight gain, monster vore, Predator Namjoon/monster wolf , Prey Jungkook/piggy hybrid, fat blobby prey, this is the most explicit i've ever wrote- indulgent vore smut<3

Deep in a top secret science facility, a huge monster werewolf lurks in an observation enclosure.

Namjoon was being studied, tortured, and documented, all from the result of a twisted experiment involving hybridized predator gene splicing.

The results were... unnerving. The scientists couldn't figure out what was wrong with their predator. Namjoon didn't eat anything for weeks, downright refusing every type of food and raw meat thrown to him.

Eventually, out of frustration, the scientists stomped down to the feeding cages and selected the slowest, plumpest pig hybrid they could find.

Jungkook dumbly waddled along on a leash, thinking he was getting his dinner early! Or maybe he was finally selected for breeding! He had certainly grown big enough and heavy enough over the last month to be one of the breeding hogs. Jungkook was such a good piggy. This must be his reward for eating so well! He was so excited...

Until big cage doors opened and Jungkook was shoved into a large forested enclosure.

The piggy oinked in confusion, waddling around and cupping his heavy belly, not realizing that he was the next test to see if the werewolf will accept a fresh, fattened prey as a meal.

Jungkook's porky gut hung down, rolls wobbling as he slowly waddled and explored. To the scientists, he was no more than a stuffed ham to tempt the monster lurking in the shadows. Namjoon silently watched and sniffed the air, trying to identify that delicious buttered scent.

Jungkook oinked in mild confusion, chubby hands resting on his doubled gut. His chin rolls were fat, arms squishy, sides creased with folds and hips and thighs dumpy.

He had been fattened to perfection in the cages.

The piggy smelled so supple and delectable that the large wolf licked over his chops while hidden in the darkness of the foliage. He hunted the plump little thing as it dumbly ambled closer.

So fat and slow.

This was the perfect meal. A downright feast.

Jungkook toddled along obliviously, until a deep, unearthly rumble behind him radiated into his bones.

He turned and dumbly stared up into the face of a giant, monsterous wolf.

The realization set in too late.

Predator.

Jungkook squealed in fear and scrambled to get away.

The huge wolf's appetite ignited at the scent of such a plump prey, and his large gut groaned with a lusty growl. Namjoon finally realized just how starved he was. He was feral at the scent of one piggy.

Jungkook's prey scent flared as he clumsily fleed, so delicious and inviting. He was practically begging Namjoon to chase him.

But the pig was so slow. He was too fat to run away, even though Namjoon took such pleasure in watching the prey try. Oinking and squealing like a dumb hog, slowly waddling away from the colossal beast.

Namjoon couldn't let this prey get away, he was so hungry. He drooled, taking his time to slink after the fattened ham trying and failing to run.

Jungkook tripped over his own weight in his panic. He squealed as he tumbled to the ground in a heavy heap.

He laid there, frozen, until a large snout rolled Jungkook over like a sausage in a frying pan. He flopped onto his back, belly pushing up into the air as he was assessed by the massive beast. The piggy was met with dark, hungry eyes and sharp teeth dripping with saliva.

The large predator sniffed, voraciously nosing deep against Jungkook’s gelatinous belly and pulling back an inch to watch the porky weight wobble. Jungkook whimpered up into the face of the wolf as he was assessed. Two thumping paws planted on either side of him, one pinning down his arm and keeping Jungkook from squirming away.

A long, heavy tongue lolled out of the wolf's jaws and slathered across Jungkook’s belly, dragging from the bottom of his hang, up the crest and doubled stack, over his soft chest, and up each fattened chin roll. The piggy squealed in fear as a deep, rumbled purr of pleasure growled out of the massive predator towering over him. Its breath was hot as he watched the tongue pull back to lather over its chops. Drool dripped onto Jungkook from the sharp, frightening teeth as the huge wolf panted, clearly sizing him up.

"P-please don't eat me-" Jungkook tried to speak, but his voice was no more than a little squeak. He oinked in panic, "I'm a good piggy-"

Namjoon's predator instincts only grew as the prey begged and struggled under his teeth, a massive blubbery pile of rolls. The hunger in the wolf's aching, empty gut intensified into a painful throb. Namjoon needed to devour this sweet ham before another predator did. He opened his jaws and fit them around the pile of lard, biting down just hard enough to claim the meal as his own. His instincts were licking at him to tease and taunt his prey with the threat of being devoured, all just to inhale more of the prey's sweet, terrifed scent.

Namjoon's starving wolf wanted to ferally rip into the fat meat under his canines, but the greedy beast plaguing Namjoon’s mind purred about how delectable it would be to swallow this prey down whole.

It was mouth-watering to feel the pig squeal under his tongue.

The prey's oinks would sound even more enjoyable muffled from inside of his belly. How much more appetizing would he be... devoured whole for his stomach to digest while the prey squirmed and squealed inside for hours, rather than swallowed piece by piece. Namjoon drooled around his prey, slowly tightening his jaws in answer to his starved gut demanding that he devour this prey now.

A fat squeal tumbled out of Jungkook as heavy jaws began closing around the thick weight of him. Strong, sharp teeth slowly sunk in and dimpled the plush blubber. Jungkook tried to squirm away but the bite tightened, almost like the wolf was keeping him in place to make sure his dumb meal didn't accidentally slice himself open on the teeth before Namjoon was ready.

Jungkook huffed with exertion. He fell limp as the rough tongue laved over him again, tasting between his rolls and slathering drool all over him. Jungkook whined in his lazy exhaustion from struggling against his own weight, until he was glossed with saliva and his skin was dripping with it. Jungkook didn't understand why- until the thought surfaced that he would probably be easier to gulp down the wolf's gullet if he was slicked up and buttered. Jungkook let out another lazy, scared oink, his heavy body so tired. The piggy now protested with the only lie left that he could think of to not be this predator's next meal.

"P-please- big wolfie- I'm too fat for you to eat! Piggy is too big and heavy for your belly- I won't fit!" He tried to inhale and push out his flabby gut, to look too fat to devour. "Piggy won't even taste good- promise!"

The beast didn't seem to care, or even listen. It only drooled around him and licked, consumed and obsessed with his flavor. Jungkook was terrified that the monster would just bite into his gut and sink those sharp teeth in to rip off a hunk of fatty pork.

"Please-" he sobbed in last resort, "M'a good piggy- please dont eat me-" He begged and babbled, not knowing just how luscious he felt squishing under the wolf's teeth. Each moment he was toyed with, Jungkook poured sweet prey pheromones across the wolf's taste buds. Hogs were meant for eating, and Jungkook's instincts were fighting each other. The prey part of himself squealed at him to fight and run, while the dumb, lazy hog part of himself oinked at him to relax. To be a willing meal and fulfill his purpose as a fat ham, only bred and fed to eventually feed a predator.

Jungkook whimpered in defeat, feeling the infatuated licks turn more greedy and hungry.

The huge wolf shifted its weight and his strong tongue shoved underneath Jungkook's fat legs. The hog peeked down over the rotund swell of his belly to see the wolf's large, wet maw, stretched wide open around him... Jungkook's tubby legs were suckled in and swallowed around.

He lurched an inch closer, and screamed.

Jungkook used the last surge of his depleted energy to try to fight, but his immense, blubbery weight made it impossible. He was too heavy for himself.

Leaden paws settled over the prey and pushed him further into place. The pig pooled heavily across the wolf's meaty tongue and sunk in deeper with every greedy gulp. Jungkook squealed in fear, too weak to struggle and run away. All he could do was watch in horror as the huge, fleshy throat constricted and swallowed around his mass with painful slowness.

His legs and hips were bound in the tight muscles and dissappeared from his view, half sunk down the formidable maw. He was devoured up to his ass, his love handles, the rotund curve of his gut now the only thing keeping him alive.

The wolf swallowed around him obscenely, stuffing the hog down his throat inch by fatty inch. The prey squealed and begged uselessly, but the predator only gulped with purred delight. The immense blubbery weight of Jungkook's belly seemed to test the limits of the wolf's hot, wet throat. The dense weight and girth of his middle made the beast growl in clear irritation that Jungkook was not an easy meal to gobble down.

A spark of hope ignited that he was too fat to fit, but quickly guttered out as his salivaed rolls gave way to the insistent digestive muscles trying to down such a fattened feast.

The prey squealed in terror as the beast lifted its head up to let gravity help. Jungkook slid downward. His legs dangled down the hot, wet throat squeezing him like a snake as he was stuffed into the tight space, past his belly and up to his chest. The wolf's tongue greedily lapped at him, pushing him deeper into the fleshy muscles as they contracted to inevitably slurp him down.

With one last heavy, powerful gulp, Jungkook's slippery lard dislodged and he screamed, sliding down the predator's huge gullet. He glimpsed the backside of massive jaws snapping shut after him in delight, effectively cutting off all light and fresh air.

He was forcefully shoved downwards and stuffed into a heavy, fatty dark space that gurgled happily upon his arrival. Disoriented, Jungkook tried to get a purchase on anything but the walls were soft and thick, molding to him and manhandling him into hanging uselessly like he was wrapped in a tight hammock.

The prey bounced in place as the wolf padded back to his den. Belly hanging down heavily, meal proudly devoured and ready to be digested.

Jungkook whined as a wet, loud gurgle engulfed him, and he yelped as the beast flopped down on him, squashing the prey flat. The huge wolf shifted and settled. The mass of blubber sitting in his gut made it hard to lay down comfortably.

Jungkook was jostled around this way and that, rolled around until he was pinned in place, face down, and crushed completely immobile by the weight of the massive wolf laying on top of him.

A hefty thudding of the monster's heartbeat and pulsing organs radiated into Jungkook's back. The fleshy, thick padding wrapping him up stretched and contracted with the beast's inhales. Tight, squelchy squeezes were accompanied by a weighty, deafening gurgle of satisfaction.

Jungkook whimpered. The wolf's belly seemed to slowly be getting used the fat size of its meal. Gently distending with more space for the prey to relax as it accepted the fat hog as its feast.

Jungkook used the extra inches of freedom and tried to muster his exhausted strength to squirm and move. The fear of being trapped in a predator's hungry belly forced him to at least try to escape. At once, a low, powerful growl rumbled around Jungkook and he froze. Namjoon shifted his weight to make sure his prey was completely pinned down.

The dark growl made the wolf's directions clear. Jungkook was not allowed to move. He would not, by any means, be able to get out. He was to be a good meal and stay nice and still while the wolf's belly digested him.

Jungkook let out a dumb, oinking sob, too fat and finished to do anything but obey. He laid there, pinned, like a stuffed ham waiting to be devoured.

Namjoon lounged on his heavy belly and panted in bliss, tongue occasionally lolling out to lick over his chops for remnants of the delicious piggy's rich, fatty flavor. The immense weight in his gut was delicious. Namjoon had never had a meal like this before.

One that he'd eaten alive. One that squirmed in his belly and promised hours of entertainment to satisfy his monsterous appetite.

A deep thudding through the stretched swell of his gut told Namjoon that his belly was warming up, assessing the size of the meal and seeing just how rich the meat was. After a loud gurgle of pleasure, a hefty bubble of gas belched upwards, full of the prey's flavor. He licked over his lips again on instinct. The pig was such a sweet, fattened thing.

Namjoon dropped his head onto his paws and purred as he felt his belly begin a slow, lazy churn. The dumb piggy oinked uselessly, but stayed still even as the strong walls of the predator's gut squeezed and kneaded. The wolf panted at the delicacy of digesting something so plump and supple. Perfectly ripe and tender.

Namjoon's eyes drooped closed in sated bliss as his stomach gurgled excitedly around the corpulent feast, pig oinking in lazy defeat as the wolf's belly began digesting its heavily fattened prey.

The scientists wrote furiously to document the scene, noting that the beast finally devoured something after weeks, that it preferred prey, and that it seemed to thoroughly enjoy its meal. Not only consuming for nourishment, but exhibiting pleasure in hunting and behaviors of self-satisfaction. It was huge progress in their study.

The predator's actions were documented for research, how Namjoon eventually flopped on his side in bliss, the massive wolf drooling and panting as the huge swell of obese prey was slowly ingested and melted into meaty lard that made the hulking predator even more enormous.

After hours and hours, the sated wolf eventually got up, lazy and well-fed, gut hanging down so heavy and fat that it almost dragged across the ground.

They would need to send in a scientist to take measurements, but hopefully not become the beast's next meal. Now that it had a taste for prey.

They prepped a series of test launches, more prey hybrids at various sizes. The next hybrid would be a skinny, runty one that could escape if it tried hard enough. And they would observe how the massive wolf entertained a thin, fiesty meal after having one so slow and blubbery.

Maybe the monster would only devour the fattest prey. More tests needed to be conducted.

[riflebrass]

I just got an idea for pizza mac. My normal mac and cheese uses about 4 cups of milk for enough sauce for 1lb of pasta.

I wonder how well Mozzarella dissolves into milk. I want to use 3 cups of milk with a real creamy cheese for the sauce then blend a cup of marinara in at the very end. I want some tomato flavor here but I don't want it to be like a baked ziti. It's still primarily mac and cheese.

Mixed in with the pasta I want to do chunks of ham, crumbled Italian sausage, chopped onion, and sliced olives. Then top with shredded cheese and bake.

[spurgie-cousin]

ok we're going to play a game: guess what the hell Jill Rodrigues is making for dinner based only off the ingredients she shows on her IG story:

ok it looks like we have:

1. Some kind of pasta salad with potato chunks?? and possibly turkey or chicken?

2. Red onion

3. Chopped up lunch meat, looks like maybe chicken and ham?

4. Italian sausage

5. Tomato

6. Shredded mozzarella, eggs, and milk, which are mixed with the chopped tomato and poured over the other stuff

7. Cheddar cheese slices

Honestly the pasta mixture is what really threw me off, wtf is that??? Otherwise it'd be a pretty standard breakfast casserole (maybe)