#same thoughts carry over
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That one damn hospital scene
There's something (besides the creepy faceless angel) that has always struck me as a Little Odd about the light world hospital scene in Chapter 2. As you may or may not be aware, in Chapter 2, the hospital has a scene where Noelle and her father, Rudy, are playing the in-game stand-in for Deltarune, Dragon Blazers. Now by the time Kristoph and Susleigh get to the room, the two are about to take on the
(now if "Silver Drake" means anything in particular I'm a bit lost as to what but, again, perfectly possible) From here Rudy makes the perfectly reasonable suggestion
because this is, as we learn... elsewhere, the Ice Palace boss
in response to which she says the following:
Which reads as "the only party member who can use spells such as fireshock (the mage) is no longer with the party," at least by the point which you reach this ice boss.
This is where things become a Little Odd.
So we, having completed the Alternate Route, establish that we are fighting the same boss, the ice palace drake:
this time Rudy asks Noelle what the game plan is, but this in and of itself doesn't seem terribly significant beyond being one of those Slight Differences we all love (perhaps a showcase of how her Boldness going up means she interacts with the world differently)
but then here's the kicker:
Now there's two main takeaways from this, firstly Noelle is still a bit Fucked (understandably) from the whole chain of events leading to this scene
but secondly and, more importantly, this implies that the game Dragon Blazers- the in-universe mirror of Deltarune has changed between routes
More specifically, the mage in this version has not left the party.
Now I think there are two main ways you can read this with regards to Deltarune as a whole:
This means that Noelle returning to the dark world is a Side B exclusive thing (uh oh)
We fight Noelle at some point (also uh oh), Noelle being the Ice Palace boss, and this is some clever wordplay around how having done Side B does not help the situation (Iceshock being ineffective and all that)
But also neither of those seem super likely to me at least, so theres some room to work with here
#rewriting this here#so that it hopefully doesn't get completely buried#same thoughts carry over#check out mirror-ralsei#who prompted this post#theory posting#utdr#deltarune#there is of course#the alternative#(and way less interesting in a meta sense)#reading that this is simply noelle being so shaken#that she forgot the mage left#but that kind of neuters the whole theory#so this will stay in the tags
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I want more Dad!Tim stuff. (And once again a deaged Danny and Ellie idea)
So let's go do that.
So you know those DPxDC AUs where Tim makes a deal with either Clockwork or Danny to carry Ellie? Or Tim is a reborn Danny whose carrying Ellie instead (love these first btw) in order to get Bruce out of the time stream.
Well what about instead of just Ellie, it's both her and Danny.
Danny and Ellie who were badly hurt by the GIW that they both had to revert into their cores. They are saved by their friends/family and are taken to Frostbite. There they are monitored and looked after only until they can finally the reform but they run into a problem. The two can't return to their home dimension due to the GIW activity and they cant stay to long in the Infinite Realms cause they are still halfas. Then one day CW appears to speak with Frostbite over something important about the two.
Meanwhile in the DCverse.
Tim might have figured a way to save Bruce from the timestream. A being known as Clockwork might be able to help him if he manages to summon the powerful 'Ancient'.
However he knows summoning and requesting it's help he will have to pay a price.
If it means getting Bruce back he'll do it...
#danny phantom#dp x dc#blue rambles#danny fenton#crossover#danny phantom dc#writing ideas#random idea#dpxdc#de aged danny#de aged ellie#Btw Tim doesnt have to 'carry' them with his body#leaving that up to whoever wants to write it#he could just be taking care of their cores until they reform into babies/toddlers#again leaving it open#i'm not picky#Tim keeps this whole thing a secret btw#Mostly cause he doesn't want Ra's to target them if he finds out during his 'i'm going to take everything Bruce holds dear as revenge'#Once he takes care of Ra's plan. Takes over as CEO for WE. And gets Bruce back...#Tim suddenly goes silent and disappears from everyone radar for a few months#Then he just shows up to a broad meeting with not one but two identical babies#one on the front and other in the back#and just carries onto the meeting like its no big deal#Tim refuses to answers any questions about them#Tim somehow is a GREAT dad#given his history with parental figures even he's surprised#Danny and Ellie are just there. No thoughts head empty but just comfy with their new dad.#The rest of the Batfam have to deal with their feelings and finding things out. Mainly how they treated Tim and stuff.#If they EVER wanna be in the same room as their niece and nephew
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i am also. not normal about kiryu and majima and death. the insistence that kiryu can only die by majima's hand. a man who already lost everything once, who keeps getting dragged into shit time and time again, who frequently wonders why he hasn't already died, who perhaps would prefer it at this point. is not allowed to die. because there is only one person in the whole world who is allowed to kill him. who will kill anyone trying to take that privilege away from him. who will remind kiryu of this agreement as many times as it takes to drill it in. he is not allowed to die until majima says so. until he drives that dagger through kiryu's chest himself. and until that day comes he's going to get up and live and fight for his life if he must, because to give up would be letting down someone who's already bled more than he should have for kiryu's sake. and we wouldn't want that to happen would we
#soda.txt#yakuza#majima goro#kiryu kazuma#it is such a good fucking detail. fuck#like i think it must have started as just “oh majima is soooo crazy look at him wanting to kill kiryu himself”#but it has mutated into something more over time and that's beautiful to me#a silent agreement voiced as some kind of joke even. but it carries so much weight all the same#do you think kiryu thinks about it when he's hanging on by a thread#do you think he feels guilty when the thought of letting go crosses his mind in the midst of a survival situation#because the hand trying to kill him isn't covered in a black leather glove#kazumaji#you know what yeah it's also kazumaji
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knifegate's fucking life ends one ratket night whisper season from now
#yin-thoughts#fallen london#i can sell these right now and get 200 more knives but also they're slightly cheaper if i convert em to shillings first#im thinking of getting even more tbh. im wary of exhaustion mechanics#but also i want More#it's probably best to just spread it out. does exhaustion carry over from weekend to weekend?#like if i sell 18 night whispers on one weekend where they're available#and then they're still available to sell next week. can i sell another 18 for the same profit#or does it carry over from last time
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I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.
#if we were villains is actually genuinely good and has actual literary worth and pulls from shakespeare in an intelligent meaningful way#but unfortunately all i can do is comedy so this is the only fan content i have to offer :(#THE THING IS iwwv is just hsmtmts if it hsmtmts was good and also they committed crimes#they utilize the same parallel of casting choices with real life drama which I love#umm so casting: Meredith would be Sharpay Obvi. I think it would be really funny if James was cast as Ryan bc they hate eachother and would#have to pretend to be siblings working together. And I think ashley tisdale and Lucas Gabreel actually didn't get along when filming#also i love the thought of Ms Jen looking at James and going “i know what you are”#HOWEVER it would be more interesting if james was Chad to Oliver's Troy (which is really just reversing their Romeo and Juliet moment)#bc chad is like nooo don't do theater... stick with me and do basketball... but it would be Coded Subtextually#Unfortunately Wren would be typecast as Gabriella and I don't think that would cause drama bc I don't believe James actually liked her!#I think it was comp het bc she was very sweet and nonthreatening as opposed to Meredith's big flirting energy so she would be a “safe” crus#lets lean into that actually. this gives Wren a chance to have a personality (bc I enjoy this book but it is not good at fleshing out women#So oliver and Wren spend more time together and kind of talk about James a little and Wren is like yeah James is very sweet#and I like him but it feels so hard to get him to feel comfortable with me... i guess he's just closed off and doesn't talk much#we also get to see more of her personality and interests maybe she's like I relate to gabriella because I also like to Read :) feminism#and oliver is like Hmm That Is Not My Experience With Him perhaps our bond is deeper and James does like me Hm#And then Meredith can flirt with him as Sharpay and James gets pissed and in character gets very intense about how Troy can't join THEATER#that's why he's upset and sad bc sharpay represents theater and only that reason and nothing else and he isn't in love with oliver At All#Alexander can be Ryan now since James is Chad (and he's also Gay) and Filippa can be Kenzie bc they're both queer coded#Anyway at rehearsal one day Meredith and James and Oliver are having their fighting over troy moment and then Meredith stops and is like#wait guys. This musical is so freaking stupid. why are we even doing this#and their mutual frustration at their art being turned into a farce is enough to bond them together and they're like#we need to focus on our REAL enemy: ms Jen#and then they hatch a scheme and it's probably like. They dump a bucket of fake blood on her at opening night a la carrie#and then put on their own rebellious production... it still has to be a musical because i like musicals#families with children are in the audience and they're like OK FOLKS! HERE'S ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!#if we were villains#iwwv#hsmtmts#high school musical the musical the series
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they're menaces, they know that they're menaces, and they take pride in being menaces together.
Gwen can and will crash on Terry & Dana's couch when she's in the area, and her greatest joy in life is annoying old Bruce because she's not a Bat and he can't do anything about her. Gwen is like the sister Terry never had. They share like half a braincell whenever they're in the same place at the same time. Bruce is so done with them all of the time.
Somehow, Gwen's life is miserable enough that she considers visiting Terry in Gotham to be a vacation.
#tangled threads#warrior's thoughts#warrior draws#gwen stacy#terry mcginnis#they got their powers in the same calendar year#terry's a little over a year older than gwen#they were mask-only friends for ages until gwen happened to be in gotham as a civilian and her spider sense went off#not in the danger way but in the recognizing a friend way the spiders sometimes do#and she was like “oh! hey! that's weird”#so she did an identity reveal the next time they were out together in masks#anyway me when I can make a spider & bat pair: 🥰#i mean in threadverse canon we have dick grayson & peter parker: besties in masks but hate each other in civvies#then there's carrie kelley & miles morales: alternate universe besties just trying to make sense of the new universe#and my most bigbrained genius take terry mcginnis & gwen stacy: partners in crime(fighting)#also we could talk about the parallel of gwen & terry both having done prison time#but y'all aren't ready for that conversation
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SWEET EVIE!! omg happy happy birthday to you !! ♥️ i’m sorry if this a bit late, i’m not sure what timezone you’re in :’) i have so much to say but i feel like i could never adequately express how wonderful you are and i also don’t want this to get eaten .. what i will say is that i am so honoured to be able to call you my friend. you are so sweet and honest and pure and just so ! wonderful !! ever since i met you, you’ve always been so kind and supportive of everyone. you’re so thoughtful, always leaving such sweet tags or dropping by inboxes or giving gifts and you inspire me to be kinder as well :’) you make this place feel so much more comfortable and lively. i am always so happy to see you on the dash or in my notifs like yay ! evie’s here !! ^_^ it is so easy to see why everyone here and mr moze loves you so much! you are just so easy to get along with and talk to, so welcoming, like a ray of sunshine peeking through the clouds! i truly don’t think it would feel the same without you. you work so hard to make everyone feel special, but my only wish is that you show yourself the same love and kindness. i know that sometimes you may feel obligated to interact with everyone’s posts, or visit inboxes, or get things done for events and such, but i hope you know that just your presence is more than enough. we all care for you so much and i hope that you take care of yourself too! anyways, i apologize for being all over the place, but i just want to wish you a happy birthday again and i hope that you have a lovely time celebrating and getting spoiled by moze! 🍰🥹 i love you!!!
i wasn’t aware it was your birthday and i feel so horrible because had i known, i would’ve tried to prepare something better for you because you deserve nothing but the best 🥺 i scrambled to make this moevie moodboard before going to bed .. it’s not much, but i hope you like it, even if just a little bit ♡ my main focus the entire time was the beautiful white dress your s/i wears and i know you associate the two of you with these 🐦⬛🐕 emojis so i wanted to try and incorporate that as well! i know little to nothing about moze (anything i know about him is through you hehe) and i know i’ve missed out on a lot of moevie info while i was gone, so i hope this is okay ^^;
OH MY GOSH AWEA YOU SWEET SOUL !! 😭 forgive me for how long i have taken to respond to your ask !! i have actually already tried a few times heh, though it ended in failure — i deleted what i wrote because NOOO !! it is not doing her JUSTICE !!! /lh T T !!!
( my response is long .. no pressure to read ofc !! )
firstly oh my gosh, you were not late!! though … if you choose to read this super lengthy message heh, could i …. ask for your timezone perhaps? :> ✨
and for you to say honored .. to be my friend … ? awea !! please picture me reading this, looking at you, then this, then you again — because i am the one feeling this way about you!! i could never put my view of you into words because i literally don’t know how to describe you aside from saying “you’re so awesome” and “i love you” over and over! i have always loved you so much omg, you just … are the spitting image of kindness to me and it’s so difficult to convey that /pos !!!
you are the one so kind to your friends … i see this event you’re hosting! and i see the way you always comment on posts to cheer on your friends .. support them, see them, make sure they’re all doing well 🥺 i always imagine diluc to your side — smiling because his awea is so sweet!! and i too am smiling hehe … i wish you could see the little giggle i let out when you told me to go to sleep !! T T as soon as you liked the post, a part of me was already like .. uh oh! awea caught me! /pos
hehe — oh i adore you so much! i have told you many times how much i adore your aesthetic .. i really do always imagine you in a castle writing to me! i think of castles, i think of red flowers and pretty patterns and cats and diluc and — all things lovely! oh i love you so much, it is so frustrating that i don’t have the words to properly show you how fond i am of you ):
and for you to take notice of the guilt i have when im falling behind in posts and stuff is so sweet to me ): i remember i had made one post saying how guilt was starting to eat me alive, and i do remember you being the one to comment and reassure me ): it was not even intended to be a vent post — though i did feel so miserable and was trying to play it off as ,, lighthearted bahahhaa so i actually did tear up a lot when you had said that! /pos thank you ): this is what i mean by i feel so seen by you — and im sure many others feel the same way as i do! it is so clear to me that you genuinely love and cherish your friends — enough to notice all these tiny shifts in mood and .. you are so quick to help them i )):
it is easy for *me* to see why you are loved! if i ever saw you and diluc passing by, i would quite literally perk up and run over to you to ask for a big hug — i would be so excited lol!! i would be like “oh my gosh AWEEEAA !!!!!” siensjdjjdj
you say you would prepared something better had you known, but this is already ?! this took me many days to recover from /pos !!! 😭😭 you are too kind awea, i really hope you don’t mind if i keep this in a very special part of my phone ( and heart … and blog …… ) because oh )): thank you , thank you !!!??? 🥺🥺 making such a stunning moodboard when you are unfamiliar with moze is the kindest thing ever … i will sob into my hands …. let me properly freak out in tags lol! BUT AH ):
THANK YOU AWEA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH )): REALLY, THANK YOU SO MUCH ))):
#彡 inbox.#彡 evie’s 21st!#彡 awea!#彡 cherishing.#this moodboard … i will sob that you based it off of my insert & the dog / crow dynamic … your attention to detail is insane awea /pos i#will cry into my hands ( AGAIN!! ) this bottom right pic with the dog — i have a boring story for you! when i was first talking about moze#this was the very first post i made directly about moze — i posted it with something along the lines of ‘this would be us .. i think’ AND I#JUST ): so the fact that you saw the same!!!! I REALLY WILL SOB …. and it is so accurate to him and how gently he holds animals … !! ):#the flowers in the bottom row … thinking about his pretty claws holding such a lovely bouquet and sobbing into my hands .. i love you awea!#THE PHOTO ON THE BOTTOM LEFT ???? HES HOLDINF ME ???? AND THIS DRESS — I LOVE RUFFLES LIKE THIS 🥺🥺 AAAAAAAAA#the one right above it … oh god he is carrying me (இ///இ`。) AND THE ONE RIGHT ABOVE THAT ??? ME HOLDINF CROW 🥺🥺🥺🥺#and holding him so gently … as he deserves !! to be treated with gentleness and love and ): ACK SORRY SUSNDJXJJC oh my gosh — i just#adore your eye for moodboards ?! aesthetics ?! i wish i could sit beside you and watch you scroll through pinterest for a little WJNSDJJC i#just want to .. hear your thoughts and stuff ?! I AK JUST SO CURIOUS 🥺 ( AND I WANT TO SIT NEXT TO YOU — ) the .. the holding hands one …#not quite holding hands …. but close …. !! the ultimate moevie ): as in my head — everything we do is only implied romance .. ACK SORRY AGA#AGAIN I AM JUST FREAKING OUT OVER HOW — HOW YOU ENVISION US IN THIS WAY WHEN ): WHEN … ): HSNSNDJDJDJS ITS SO PERFECT ITS SO )))):#the remaining three photos oh i am so soft ): i will cry into my hands again siendjdidii thank you awea )): oh my gosh
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Sometimes I just get the most nonsensical crossover ideas.
Doki Doki Literature Club! Milgram Edition
Does this make sense? No.
Was it fun to draw? Yes!
And that's what's important!
#milgram#mikoto kayano#haruka sakurai#shidou kirisaki#fuuta kajiyama#doki doki literature club au#i think this might be the first time i've properly drawn shidou#the reason it's only the boys is because i wanted to make a separate version for the girls#sorry for the lack of kazui there's only 4 characters in ddlc#minus the protagonist but nobody cares about him#fun fact! shidou's shoes are the same purple as his prisoner color while everyone else's is blue#just like how monika's shoes are different from everyone else's#fuuta ties his jacket around waist to emulate his Bring It On knight outfit (i really hope his T3 outfit does this)#i wanted to fuck his tie up (to imply he doesn't know how to tie a tie) but then realized that he'd probably be the type of person to#watch a tutorial to tie it once and then just loosen it to remove it and never untie the knot#this was originally a sketch but i got a bit carried away and colored it#I wonder how obvious my struggle with haruka's pose is#his upper legs look off but i don't want to keep changing it over and over again#random thought! Natsuki's first 2 poems actually sort of fit Fuuta I think#i can imagine him writing Eagles Can Fly#Both Sayori and Mikoto are also people pleasers and depressed so yeah#and Shidou gives me a Monika vibes IDK why
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Memory loss associated with Adhd has got to be the stupidest and cruelest symptom because without fail it's like. Me wavering on whether I should take my meds every single time, followed by sitting on my dumb ass three hours later going "wow, I'm actually feeling emotions and connected to people I've loved and lost and I feel capable of facing the complicated grief and emotions associated with a lot of those memories. I wonder why that - oh. Right. I'm a whole idiot."
#Listening to music from high school/all state band and the first one I thought to pull up#Was of course the piece they played at my friend's funeral ten years ago#And I fully haven't listened to it again even though it was a piece I really loved#And today I just let it wash over me#The recording they used at the funeral was the recording that contained him playing in that year's band!#I was two seats down from him and also in that recording#We were in district honor band together every year swapping who was first chair#But I went to state twice and he went once and it was a constant sort of teasing#I really liked him#We reconnected a couple years after high school but he had already made his plans and was just glad to have me back#For the last little while of his life#One of the only people I ever felt safe being competitive with because we were on the same team even when trying to show each other up#We made each other better musicians#If and when I go back to music and all of THOSE complicated memories I'll be carrying him with me#We should've had more memories#We should still be goading each other on#I should be able to call him up and tell him I'm thinking of him but I can't
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Last arcane episode ever..... here we fucking go....
#50 MINUTES YEAAAAHHH!! IM SO GLAD THEY HAVE BEEN GETTING LONGER THERE WAS NO WAY!!!#the last drop no..... YEEEEEEEEEEES EKKO!!!!!! OH MY GOOOOOD YEEEEEEEES always a dance with you OOOOOOOOHHHHH she even has the same hair 😭#is she gonna build the new zaun for isha.... like vander wanted for vi and powder.... 😭😭😭 with ekko 😭😭😭#watching jinx kill herself over and over is something else that was so funny.... im sorry but ajdkansk#WHATS WITH THOSE CUTS WHATS GOING ON.... WDYM WE ARE MEANT TO LOSE THIS FIGHT??? IN THE FUTURE HE SAW RIGHT???#OH ITS THAT GIRL VI IS CARRYING OMG BUT SHE IS LOOKING FOR JINX!!! NOOO SHE FUCKING DIEEED AMBESSA IS A BEAST!!! DID THEY GET CAIT???#VANDER NOOOO OOOH ITS VIKTOR TOO!!ITS OOOOOOVER maddie being there still..... a consensual workplace relationship... cait....#LORIS!!!! VIIIIIIIIIIIII caitlyn looks so good..... and vi too.... but did they run out of armors.... the guy who left his family DIED TOO!!#caitlyn that was so hot.... they got her.... MADDIE!!!! WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK I THOUGHT THAT WOULD NOT EEEEEVER HAPPEN!!! AK WITH HER OWN GUN!#OH MY GOD MEL!!! MADDIE EXECUTED FOR HER CRIMES!!!! i know people are cheering!!! JINX ON HER BLIMP!!! the egg was a distraction.....#jayce be ready for your divorce.... THE HALO!!! THE VOICE!!! his voiced softened when he said to see you omg... SEVIKA NOOOOOOOOO#cait and mel joining forces to maximize their joint (literal) slay against ambessa.... and vi and jinx vs vander.... cruel#beef squashed..... no way she died????? omg... we havent seen caits left side.... and she was bleeding.... one fear. VIKTOR IS SO TALL!!!#how does it feel to look up jayce.... also jinx saying they are always together 🥺🥺 they are flying again.... omg jinx looks so scared...#OH NOOOOOO SEE CAIT HURT HER EYEE viktor saying they want better lives but emotion clashes with reason after a season of just that.... omg#series thesis.... this is actually so meta if i may say so.... vander and silco.... jinx and vi and the rocket... cait and ambessa....#and finally jayce saving viktor.... and jayce searching for the arcane after he was saved as a kid.... all of it..... ALL OF IT....#THE BOY SAVIOR!!!! VIKTOR IS BACK!!!! HE WANTS HIS PARTNER BACK OMG#YES THE MAGE IS VIKTOR!!!! OH MY GOOOD!!! ONLY YOU CAN SHOW ME THIS! CAITVI FUCKED ON SCREEN AND SOMEHOW THIS IS GAYER!!!#JAYCE!!! YOU ARE ALRIGHT!!! EKKO MADE THAT WITH AN INVERSION OF JAYCES RUNE!! OF COURSE!!! THE WTO MEN AND THE ANOMALY!!!#they are literally adam and steve... VI OMG!!!! SHE CANT TAKE IT NOOOOOO JINX AND VANDER!!!! NOOOO EKKO ALONEEEE NOOOO#SEVIKA COUNCIL MEMBER!!! CAIT GAVE HER HER SEAT!!! AND SINGED AND HIS DAUGHTER!!! MEL WHAT THE HELL!!! BACK TO NOXUS???#caitlyn seeing that jinx escaped through the air ducts... yeah..... she is on that blimp#can you believe we ended arcane with two happy lesbians..... like everything went to hell jayce and viktor saved it and disappeared....#through it all one thing remained.. two lesbians in love <3 can we get an applause for two lesbians in love.... they made a band about this#(love of lesbian)#talking tag#watching arcane#watching arcane season 2#you know towards the end the characters looked a lot more like normal 3d animated... idk how to explain it
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OK I swear the reason I'm showing you this will have context in a couple days! But also, the fact B&N has a section dedicated to "well he may be a ten buuuuut" and included my current crime of "he's blonde" is like. Dang. Called out.
Didn't help I saw this with a guy and I said "oh no, my blonde enjoyer crimes called out!" and he said "better than redheads" and I'm like. "Sir, I have to inform you of my previous crime." and he was not pleased as he said "Fish... why....."
#moe talks a lot#not art#this will be much more relevant to my art in a couple days but just know#that ive had a field day staring at these and noticing unintentional bullshit#such as ! note how they are all kinda average writing size OR p big except for the tail one#which is kinda small and i feel like the person who wrote it is like this is the opposite of a '10 but -' ... thats a plus...#but then you also have all of them starting off lower case EXCEPT He's a man-child#oh absolutely gotta cater to the man-childs esteem and capitalize that one#this might be incredibly funny to me but i am not letting it be rebloggable im so sorry#also i like how he calls me fish in public bc despite having known me since 4th grade#he got in the habit during our ffxiv days during skype calls with someone in another state#so instead of using my in game name of Tuna vs my actual skype name Salmon#hes like fuck it we ball with just Fish#so i am fish to him and it carries over irl when we hang out which is rare but still#this is the same guy who was on the phone with his wife while we were wandering around and he just#watches me walk off with a very serious determination and i hear him say#hold on babe fish just walked over to a makeup store and is staring#so he walks over and asks me whats up and i point to a shelf and say dude#and he looks where im pointing and asks his wife#hey honey do you want main character energy? fish found some lipstick for that#and i hear her over the phone saying what very flatly#and he had to explain that there was a shelf advertising main character energy in sephora#his wife said no which is fair (they were also closed lol)#also the same guy i beat up on accident who lied to his football coach about why he had such fucked up shins#bc he knew his coach liked me as a very kind and quiet and obedient student#and my buddy was like i cant tell him you kicked me so much i bled...#and i just ????????????? hey what you never mentioned bleeding to me? dude? you KEPT MAKING SHORT JOKES#KNOWING ID KICK YOU IN THE SHINS? you never thought to say maybe stop that or maybe just stop picking on me#anyway yeah this guy and i have been through some weird times and most of them are my fault
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see the thing that makes stories interesting is conflict. Which is why audiences don’t tend to enjoy it when a story goes “plot twist! there was never any conflict to begin with!”
#This is about Chuuya not being a vampire in the first place#And Dazai pulling the “I knew everything all along and it was all according to plan”#plus any emotional or psychological conflict both of them would have had over the entire situation#it’s just. Eurghhhhhh#bad.#it’s. not enjoyable to most audiences unless you like it for reasons of personal taste#Because “there was never any conflict to begin with” carries just about the same weight as “it was all a dream”#Oh that thing that I thought happened? The thing that made the story interesting? Yeah it never happened.#my GUY. why tell a story if not to tell it sincerely.#like I said before this is the same as marvel movies killing their sincere moments with quips and one-liners
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I thought I made good progress today but checked a video and what the fuck I'm not even halfway through. God bless. On one hand yesss I have SOOO much phainon content to look forward to on the other hand dear god that is a lot. Not complaining at all tho I'm excited... tho to be fair a good chunk of my progress today was spent exploring the city and I got all the chests... huge sprawling cities are always my fav maps, penacony golden hour is still peakest of peak cities to me but okhema is lots of fun too~
I gotta lock in... in preparation for maxing aven I had cleared all the content in the game up until when shackling prison released where aven stopped getting screentime and I was like what's the point of anything anymore BUT with phainon coming dear god I need to get back on the damn grind
#hsr#phainon#aventurine#nah I just wanted to yap about him and hsr#I have 5 different outlets for getting my thoughts out and none of it is enough#I just don't shut up. And I manage to say so little at the same time too. It's an art.#I like hsr a lot... might just be the new game excitement tho? I used to have the same energy for genshin but not anymore#I rag on hsr a lot for not making characters I like but when they hit the mark they hit it *hard*#ie aven phai - I love yanqing a lot too we must remember he carried the game until my 2nd reason for playing (aven) showed up#Genshin in terms of characters I like it feels more quantity over quality?#genshin characters that I love on the same level are venti and (maybe) childe#But I suppose if genshin didn't have other characters I liked as well (like hsr) I would overfocus on venti and c6 him too#Matter of circumstance I suppose.#Penacony and aven are so nostalgic and magical to me when I reminisce on it#Definitely the process and insanity + being encouraged by my friends to e6s5 him made me like aven even more#funny how it works~ penacony will always have a special place in my heart because of this memory#rubbing tears from my eyes when I say I miss aven so bad that's ^ what I mean.#I hope phainon can bring the same warmth too-!#hehe#I've been feeling a lot happier these days#anime boy saved me truly
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#tw: death#tw: irl death#tw: parent death#ok those tags will make sense in a moment but! cause I've been going back through my s/is lore it made think a lil deeper into her#relationship with o'b (true heat) n well the thought of them talking about kids came up#both o'b n myself irl have a genetic that can lead to terminal illness n cause my s/i is me she has it too#o'b carries a disease in his blood that killed his sister n mine can lead to terminal cancer not 100% but I'm more likely to possibly get it#over someone who doesn't have the same gene it's what killed my own dad irl#so i like the idea of both of them like bonding on that level knowing they both have like this *monster* inside them inside their genetics#n well its comforting to me to know he knows exactly how i feel irl#idk cause of the whole his ashes finally being ready for pick up thing it sorta opened old *wounds* n my fear of dying like he did#i know I'm gonna die someday everyone is but i don't wanna die the way he did#i think I'm venting uogihviyv not what i meant to do! I'm not looking for comfort! just brain werms went screwy lol#but i really like the idea of the two of them having a bonding moment over their fears n grief in a way that only people in that position#can#n it's comforting so ojghvihfiv#shut up rattie no one gives a shit lol
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I swear I've gone through every emotion known to man.... (And then some) today...
#spiteful angry a little happy and proud judgemental upset sad mourning#the list can go on#its been a day#my thoughts#mom went to detox today and will be in recovery for a month#i already feel lighter with her gone#but conflicted because i wasn't there for her#but i couldn't be because she wouldn't let me#and genuinely i didnt want to be because she was simultaneously never there for me#but shes done more for me than i ever could've asked in some ways#but i also never asked to be born wish i was never born and feel like ive never belonged here#like i was meant to be aborted but was born instead#and yet despite it all I'm angry at the world for the cards she was dealt#for the way she was treated as a child#and the way no one was there for her and moved on pretending like all was fine#(some generational trauma she picked up and carried over)#upset at her siblings and friends for never being there for her like she needed (but i also understand that she pushed everyone away and im#In the same boat as them in that sense#but also shes my mother and im her child and shes never been there's for me so how could i possibly know how to be there for her#i hate being understanding because white hot anger and hatred is easier#so much easier#ignorance is bliss frfr#part of me is also proud of her for finally doing this#scared that she might get mistreated at the facility furthering her trauma scared of her relapsing and what that will look like#wanting to be a support fixture for her when she comes back at the end of the month but realistically knowing i cant#spiteful because where is her support system right now? everyone has failed her#spent years enabling and ignoring her#i hope she has a support system or can curate one because it cant be me#it just cant#mother wound
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Ugh, I really gotta stop getting into stuff because somebody describes it has having homoerotic relationships. My roommate who knows my tumblr was telling me about how prosekai had all these women who cared so so deeply about each other, and I used to love beat saber back when I had access to a VR rig, so I downloaded it, despite having no previous exposure to Miku except through said roommate. And now I am sitting here trying to think about Immanuel Kant and the ethics of end of life care but noooooo my brain wants to sing Ghost Rule at top volume. Thanks, brain. Thanks, women.
#project sekai#prosekai#colorful stage#which one do I tag this stuff as?#I'm not sure; I just got here#immanuel kant#I know zero Japanese so the song lyrics are just mush with a few vaguely identifiable syllables in there somewhere#that's not quite true: I know the Japanese word for fallout#it's 死の灰#but I only know it because 死 and 灰 are both kanji that have the exact same meaning as their counterparts in Mando#plus their pronounciations are similar#and の has the same exact meaning as the Mando 的 (and also 之 because Mando needed a written form ig)#anyways 死の灰 is shinohai and translated literally it's ash of death#or ig death-related ash to preserve the ordering#死 means death and 灰 is ash (or grey in Mando; idk if the other meaning also carries over)#の is a grammar word indicating that the word/phrase before it modifies the word after#so 死の灰 is death ash / ash of death / death-related ash#Mando does this all the time too lol#how did I get here?#oh right I was supposed to be reading about Kant#IIIIIIIIIImmanual Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable--#can you tell I have adhd?#adhd#japanese#this got out of hand lmao#tonight on late night thoughts with jay
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