#through it all one thing remained.. two lesbians in love <3 can we get an applause for two lesbians in love.... they made a band about this

[hauntingblue]

Last arcane episode ever..... here we fucking go....

[mommys-puppy-tgirl]

Two blue screens

I wrote a lesbian robot puppy girl short story. Please enjoy :3 also the pov character is trans.

Pulling into the driveway, I stepped out of the car. Thebsweet smelling rain cascaded across my face, through my hair and soaking into my clothes on the brief stride to the front door. I fumble with the keys, sliding through three on my ring before finding the right one, all the while the water and wind sap my heat. I turn the key, open the door, and step inside, dripping water on the hardwood floors with a plop. I shut the door, remove my wet black sneakers and socks, hanging both on an empty coatrack.

From upstairs I hear my favorite thing. An excited “Woof” compressed and taken from Nintendo’s ds game “Nintendogs.” Following the sweet audio came a rumble of a heavy chassis across carpeting floor and then a “slump,” “bump” and “crash” as my beautiful girlfriend rolls down the stairs in an excited heap, her mechanical tail wagging. She quickly corrects her pose and rises to her feet to embrace me, squeezing tight enough to hinder my breathing.

Hal-E is my adorable robot girlfriend, her tummy and face each having a monitor like a Nintendo DS. The tummy screen currently has nintendogs open and all the necessary buttons to play of ones favorite Nintendo game on it. The bumpers are on her sides and the cartridge slot is hidden on her back. She wears a crop top and booty shorts so that heat can vent properly, and to cover more explicit ports. across her exposed metal are numerous stickers of bands, anime, cute animals, and flowers

I squeeze back, but stop saying. “Wait wait, I’m all wet. Down girl.”

A small green light flicks on when she hears the order. In an instant she gets on her knees, hands on her lap, and stairs up with the same dumb, cute, adorable smile she always has when I come home. I’m already colder without her natural heaters pressed against my body. So I’ll have to go quick so I can feel her again.

“Puppy, wait for me in our bedroom,” I said as I walked into the other room.

HAL-Es green light turned on and she said “I love you,” scampered up the stairs. She’s a robotic puppy girl all the way through. When we first got together she was just a robot girl, but she had fun exploring the internet and discovered puppy play. It was a recursive file in her memory banks. She pleaded with me to make a program that would help fulfill her dreams. As a programmer, I stayed up all night for a week and fulfilled her wishes and embedded it in that nintendogs cartridge. She can take it out any time she wants. But she loves it too much to ever stop being my good girl.

Now alone I removed my wet clothes and grabbed a towel from the linen closet. I ran the cotton across my skin and removed the water from it, but the cold remained. The rain left a lasting chill deep within me, and brought all the grime from that days work to the surface. Now I need my puppy to wash it all away. I walked upstairs to our shared room, opened rhe door and saw HAL-E sitting on the bed. She too was uncovered, revealing the stickers placed upon her breasts. It reads “if lost, please return to Marcy.” When I see that sticker I can’t help but bite my lip.

HAL-Es eyes widened as I entered the room, her mechanical tail wagging faster and faster, smacking against the pillows with a loud “whomp” over and over again. I could tell she wanted to jump out of bed and hug me, tackle me down and kiss me all over. She made sharp pushes against the bed, false starts as she contained her excitement. As I slowly approached the bed, I heard her cooling fans activate, pumping heat out from her head and torso to keep her from overheating. She whimpers, desperate to be played with, for someone to touch her controls and insert data into her.

“Look at how eager you are… so patient… so good…” I said, my voice shifting to a soft sultry tone. “Good girl. Do you want belly rubs?”

She let out another whimper, then a compressed yap. She rolled onto her back and looked up, her digital eyes filled with a burning heat and desire. Her vents pumped warm air all over my legs, a heat that threatened to drag me down onto her. I wanted to take it all, all her warmth and embrace her. But not yet, first we play the game.

“Good girl,” I said, rubbing my hands all over her chassis, my fingers touching the lower ds screen and sending signals into her brain. Several green lights flicked on and off as I touched her, telling me how much she enjoyed it. She was officially in “good girl mode” and now all pleasure and sensations are heightened. Just a tap of her screen sends waves of energy through her circuitry. if she wasn’t on her charging leash no doubt she would lose power.

I moved my position between her legs and told her to keep her head up. Laying down on her warm body was like a car running car in the winter, so warm it melted any ice still within my skin. I placed my thumbs on the buttons and +pad and my index fingers on her bumpers. She squirmed with each button press, the good feelings programmed into her mind. I didn’t have to play for long, for her it would feel like hours of pleasure.

Nintendogs is always a fun time, espreciallt when my girlfriend moans every time I press a buotton. Every time I play with a puppy I’m playing with her mind, and every treat given is a treat she feels. Her vents are pouring hot air, but when I check her power banks she is still charging. After 15 minutes, I pulled up her task manager, I saw how much her cpu and memory was full. All her processes were at their limit! “How about we turn some of these off…” I said.

“Ahh! Bark! W-what?” She struggled to make words after being a puppy for so long. But before she understood what was happening, I had limited her cognitive processes to 30% and boosted her pleasure centers to 120%. This was something she could turn back on if she wanted too, and was within our discussed limits. Messing with her mind, messing with her programming and messing with her wiring and attachments, she lived for it.

Now that she could only bark and whimper, reduced to my dumb, sweet, happy puppy, a puppy full of pleasure, I rose from between her legs and laid across her belly. My breasts pressed against hers, the sticker caught on my nipple, teasing me unintentionally and reminding me how much I love this woman. The warmth exuding from her chest was burning hot and nipples like fresh dripped candle wax. My eyes locked with hers, those digital girl eyes. I locked my lips with her synthetic lips just below her top screen.

Her silicon lips were warm and soft. What others see as fake, to me they were realer than any other. My tongue slid between them, and I felt the zap of her hidden mouth port. The tingle only made me want her more. I kissed and kissed, she squirmed and moaned into my mouth. It was delicious. Her hands were spazzing, fighting the urge to touch the port between her legs. She knew I’d get there later.

I shifted my weight, so that my knees were on her arms and my dick between her breasts. “Be a good puppy…” I said, my voice containing my eagerness, “and suck mommy’s cock.” Her hot lips on my skin almost made me explode, her sensation, her obedience, her eagerness. I own her, and she loves it, and I love it. The jolt of her energy through my body called me to thrust into her mouth, her synthetic tongue caressing the head. Now I had to hold myself back from explosion. I needed to hold off the building tension from below, calling me to unload inside my puppy’s mouth. “She would love it, mommy’s hot cum inside her,” I thought. The devil in me told me to do it, ruin her hot mouth, short circuit her brain with my love. But no. Not yet. I can’t.

My puppy’s eagerness brought her sensual blowjob from a savoring to devouring. Her dumb, sweet, gorgeous puppy programming needed her to get my cum. But I had to keep it from her, like waving a toy over a dogs head, beckoning it to jump for it, only to snatch the toy away before they can lock their jaws into it. I let her go fast, but now I needed to stop before I gave her the prize.

“Good girl, drop it.”

She immediately stopped, but her eyes were confused, begging me to let her keep going. She was hungry for it. She couldn’t even move her arms to bring me back in. She just had to wait, like a good puppy. The Denial fed her eagerness, she needed a release. She needed to fuck her mpmmy so bad, and I could tell.

“Let’s use the gba port.” The gameboy had an insane amount of device attachments to go with different games or products. The attachment we are going to use was not a commercially made device, but Etsy creators sold these for anyone who had a Nintendo DS branded robotic girlfriend who wanted to get kinky. With a little luck, I managed to get a hold of the attachment before they were shut down by a classic Nintendo cease and desist.

From the bedside table, I pulled out a Gameboy advanced dick attachment with vibration and cum functionality. I plugged in the cock to the gba port between HAL-E’s legs (it was placed there to mimic the ds’ original design and got past Nintendo censors). As soon as it connected, the cock hardened and throbbed. The temperature of the dick rose, using it as a heat sink. Her artificial cum leaked out like a doctor checking a syringe before inserting it and I was the patient. I poured lube all over her cock and stroked her twice to get it all over.

I laid on the bed, my legs in the air and my butt propped up against the pillows. My cock leaked across my front, and my asshole puckered. I put my hands on my cheeks and spread them, beckoning my sweet puppy closer. “Be good girl, Fuck mommy…”

Her desperate puppy eyes guided her as HAL-E moved forward and pressed her warm robot cock against my greedy asshole. She moaned and glitched moan, one that splintered and drowned out her screaming fans. Her cocks head pressed into my ass, spreading it and filling me up with her love. Unlike the doctor, she pushed her cock jn and out. “Arf” and “bark” came from her speakers with every thrust. Her eyes were locked on mine and our hands intwinned. Our love was one, her heat and mine, a building cycle. Her glitchy moans. She’s going to cum.

She’s speeding up. Im moaning, she’s barking, she’s such a good girl, such a good puppy. I’m going to reward her so good. “Good girl. Good puppy.” She speeds up again. Faster. Harder. Desperation rising. My cock tenses. I can feel her cock rubbing against my special spot. “Cum with mommy.”

She barks in response, my beautiful dumb puppy.

“3.”

She speeds up, I’m losing control of my voice and moans.

“2.”

She’s overheating, her fans on overtime, my body is so hot too, I love her so much.

“1.”

Her cock is tensing, but she won’t cum until I say. She’s a good girl.

“Good girl… cum.”

We both cum, as she pins be down with her robot body. She locks her cock inside my Ass to make sure I feel her pulsating eruption within me. Such a good puppy. Her screens both turn blue as the pleasure and heat overloads her. It’s too much, her lips lock with mine as she reboots.

Meanwhile I erupt all over our tummies. First on mine, then hers as she leans over to reboot. With deep breaths I embrace her, I give my darling puppy robot girl all of my love. I kiss her lips, sticking my tongue in and moaning “HAL-E” with every thrust. “Good girl.”

I spent 2 minutes with her as she rebooted. It was quiet, broken by a few clicks as the systems worked through and reset to normal levels. With every moment I fell more and more in love with HAL-E, all over again. But every time I couldn’t help but get scared. She doesn’t always blue screen, but when she does I can’t help but worry. She’s told me 100 times that it’s harmless, but I still get nervous.

After those two minutes to calm down, she woke up. Her eyes bright, “hey cutie” she said. Those words made my heart melt. I kissed her again and again, and forever into the night.

(This was written in my notes app, sorry for any typos) :3

[schmirius]

okay but what if... a different ofmd s2

I tried several times to make a less tl;dr version of this post, but it's not happening. BEHOLD: a season I just like better. It fixes things that I personally didn't like (and I have a strong Ed and Izzy bias). I wanted to do a few major things:

Keep 2x01-2x03, because I love them so damn much. this unfortunately sets the stakes *really high* for the rest of the season, so...

Rework the characters that canon s2 introduced, to be able to focus more tightly on the Revenge's response to the 2x01-2x03 atom bomb.

Give Ed and Stede more focused arcs (individually and as a couple). Ed and Stede were, emotionally, at completely opposite poles in 2x01-2x03, and in canon I think they didn't connect much after that. So in my version, they'll do basic work to understand why their s1 meet-cute failed and how they can move on to having a real relationship.

Address Ed's very vividly depicted violence from 2x01-2x02. I found the amends depicted in canon somewhere between "unsatisfying" and "horrifying." Jesus did I need to fuck around with that!

the three major acts in the season:

ACT 1 (2x01-2x03) – Trauma! These episodes remain largely the same as in canon.

ACT 2 (2x04-2x06) – Recovery I've edited these episodes so Ed + Stede are entirely separated from Izzy + the Crew. This gives the OTP space to work on themselves and their relationship. Likewise, Izzy has space away from Ed to go through his arc of self-discovery and consider if he wants to reconcile with Ed. Izzy and the Crew all get a chance to recover from The Trauma on their own, together as a community. ACT 3 (2x07-2x08) – Reconciliation Act 2 has given everybody time to process Act 1 and how they might come out of it as better versions of themselves and a stronger community. Now the OTP and the Crew reintegrate and, in the 2x08 climax, prove all their work has been worth it by fighting together against an external menace. (It's Hornigold. It's got to be Hornigold. This is so obvious to me.)

* * * THE CHARACTERS:

Each crew member is talented brilliant incredible showstopping spectacular, but in the interest of brevity, the characters in the imaginary episodes are going to be:

Ed and Stede → The OTP – Ed and Stede as a couple. Color-coded red so you can follow their arc.

Izzy

The Crew, who begin in Act 1 as three separate crews:  → the Castaways (everybody Ed marooned/tossed overboard at the end of s1) → the Breakup Boat (everybody from canon s2 on the Revenge with Truly Insane Ed → the Girls (introduced below)

THE BOATS:

Most episodes are going to have two plots running, taking place on two ships:

The Revenge

The Pearl Diver (again, below)

Last terminology note: I'm going to be comparing "canon episodes" vs. "imaginary episodes" or "new episodes" a bunch.

Ready? Alright, let's kick it.

* * *

ACT 1 – 2x01-2x03 – TRAUMAAA

Ed + the Breakup Boat: The action on the Revenge remains basically the same, with the torture and the murder-suicides and all the crimes. Stede + the Castaways: I'd cut the Republic of Pirates in 2x01. Instead, I'd start with everyone at sea on the ship that rescued them (which also creates an atmosphere of everyone still being trapped by the awful shit that happened in 1x10). What ship? I think introducing Zheng the historical pirate is a really cool idea, but I also think it's one idea too many. Zheng's objectively cooler and more successful ship is always, implausibly, overshadowed by the lovable misfits on the Revenge, since the Revenge is the workplace that the show is about. This is annoying to me (and probably Zheng). Instead I'd make the rescue ship one of equal goofiness: Mary and Anne's ship. I'll call it the Pearl Diver, just because I can. We can lift the formula from Ed's ship in s1:

s1: gay men // s2: lesbians!

s1 power couple on the ship is Ed+Izzy // s2 is Mary/Anne

s1 crew members who later join Revenge are The Boys, Fang+Ivan // s2 will have the Girls, a surgeon and her competent sailor girlfriend. one of them is a trans woman, I said so

the set is just the Revenge with different props on, lol

Okay, that's our lesbian ship set up. It'll last five episodes and be a very easy foil for the Revenge. Stede: His 2x01-2x02 bit seemed to be "I love Ed, I'll get back to him no matter." I'd push that harder. New s2 will open with Stede as a brave romantic adventurer sallying forth into true love (the same way he was a brave romantic adventurer sallying forth into piracy in s1). So: "I love Ed, I'll get back to him no matter, and the force of our newfound love will be what straightens this all out." The OTP:  Ed and Stede are both hopeless romantics, of course, but they're coming at it from opposing genres. Ed thinks he's the doomed villain in a big-R Romantic novel. Stede thinks he's the little-r romantic hero in a bodice-ripper. Their job in new s2 is to shift ideas of self & genre to meet somewhere in the middle.

ACT 2 – 2x04-2x06 – RECOVERY

I think a lot of what s2 tried in mid-season succeeded, but it didn't really add up to anything. In order to advance Ed and Stede's arc(s), I'd isolate them from the Crew. This gives everyone space to start clearing up the Act 1 wreckage.

(quick 2x03 note:) The major change I'd make here here would be moving the Breakup Boat crew off of the Revenge sometime mid-episode so they can recuperate on the Pearl Diver instead. They get to leave the trauma boat, which gives them and us the audience some breathing room as we transition out of the murder-suicide portion of the season. In the Pearl's infirmary they meet the Girls – surgeon and girlfriend – and reunite with the Castaways. There's a palpable sense of each group feeling isolated from the others.

2x04 – really intense cleanup

Time skip: The Breakup Boat crew have been declared physically recovered enough to start repairing the Revenge (and therefore prepared to grit their teeth and return to the scene of their trauma). The Castaways offer to help; the Girls come along in solidarity with their new friends. The Revenge: (this is also 2x04 in canon) Izzy never left the wrecked ship, is doing Bad. The three separate crews do ship repairs, but then come together as one Crew to declare Izzy their unicorn.

The Pearl Diver: (this story has no equivalent in canon)

Ed: never leaves the Pearl's infirmary, is doing Bad. He's trying to come to grips with the fact that he did all that shit, the kind that his dad and Hornigold used to. Stede: is focused on telling Ed about their true love rather than trying to understand how awful Ed feels, to the point that he's telling his newfound love~ story super loudly to avoid talking about Ed's pain.

The OTP: They have a moment where they stop talking past each other.

Ed hears Stede when he says that he really does love Ed. (Ed doesn't necessarily believe it, but he's willing to listen.)

Stede hears Ed when Ed says he feels trapped worse than ever (though he's weirded out Ed thinks he's a doomed villain). (Stede, our favorite Ed stan, literally doesn't care what Ed did except as far as how Ed feels about it.)

2x05 – letting loose

Time skip! Again, everyone looks slightly less haggard. The Revenge: (this is 2x06 in canon; I've moved it to 2x05) The Crew: have Calypso's birthday, paid for with the treasure they wouldn't throw overboard in 2x01 because it's their treasure and not Ed's, ffs. Joyful, queer, "we're surviving, we're getting through this together." Izzy+Ed: I'm aiming to untangle the shitty parts of their codependency and eliminate Ed's outright domestic abuse. I read canon s2 as Izzy fully untangling himself from Ed and then presenting Ed as a gift to Stede, and I did not like that for anyone. I'm aiming to conclude new s2 with Izzy+Ed acknowledging how bad it was at the end (with a little more emotional insight than they might have been able to do in s1 – maybe this huge event in their lives leads to self-reflection and growth!) and how they could move forward maybe as very complicated friends. Izzy's going to be taking the lead on this one, because the codependency very much ended in Ed doing violence to him. He gets to decide what the fuck happens. So: Izzy: is finally somewhere without Ed, first time in 30 years. Now that he's been unicorn'd (feels supported), he has room to unwind and start discovering what he might like to do. So he does drag. And also sings about his complicated feelings for Ed, come on, Izzy has love for him. In new s2, Izzy still gets to bloom, but he remains closer in personality to his grumpy cunty s1 self, not quite consciously understanding how he's changing. The Pearl Diver: (this is 2x04 in canon; I've moved it to 2x05) The OTP: have the bonkers Mary/Anne dinner party (their f/f co-captain counterparts). They do their awkward exes bit. In canon s2, they see Mary/Anne as "these guys are so weird, wtf"; in new s2, they're more like "these guys are so weird, omg. remember how weird we were last year? that was so fucking great." Conclusions:

Ed and Stede have more in common than they'd feared (since, like, 1x10)

They see they can be dramatic assholes in love like these bitches and that's great.

But also: maybe they need to be less self-centered than "burn down your ship which is your entire livelihood without considering that this might kill your crew." Maybe Mary/Anne rowing off cackling in a boat together (to, say, China) isn't the W they thought it was.

also also: caught up in the adrenaline of understanding they're mad lads, Ed/Stede do the impulsive "taking it too fast" (canon: 2x06) and BONE.

Lastly: The OTP ask to reboard the Revenge now that there's no Pearl Diver, mentioning hopefully that they've learned a lesson. The Crew are not convinced. They maroon Ed/Stede on land at close of ep.

2x06 – restucturing

The Revenge: (this plot is similar to Izzy+Stede's story in canon's 2x05)

Haven't thought of a frame story I like here, honestly. But the point of the episode is that Izzy helps Crew to be better pirates. This does two things:

Izzy's getting a chance to choose to manage people for himself, rather than as Ed's minder or Ed's goon.

Crew are getting competent advice from someone who genuinely gives a shit (Stede or Ed do not fit the bill). This allows them to keep running things in a fairly democratic structure where they do make decisions based on actually, for real, Talking Things Through.

Crew: consider what they're going to do about Ed and Stede – who maybe have had time to sort themselves out a bit? – replete with silly company restructuring metaphors.

Izzy: probably does shirtless swordplay considers how he wants to deal with Ed. Talking to Crew he decides that he, too, can try airing grievances with Ed in workplace metaphors. (It doesn't take much to convince him. Izzy will always love being a professional.)

On Land: (this episode has no equivalent in canon)

The OTP: in true OFMD style, they attend a modern couples retreat that has 18th c trappings. It is run by the straightest dude ever (Steve Carell levels of Kinsey 1 in 18th c khakis).

This dude is obnoxious, but he does remind them to strike a balance between demonstrating their love by talking through their needs (e.g. 2x04 infirmary, 2x05 dinner party) and by taking action (which will always be bonkers for them, like 1x09 act of grace, 2x05 impulsive boning). I'm thinking of it like: Ed/Stede realize they're whim-prone (as in canon 2x04), and also there's this tool nearby.

They're like, hey, actually I really love you, and make out sappily for a while then wonder, bemusedly, why they didn't do that before fucking a bunch. ("but the fucking was still good?" "oh yeah mate, we should definitely always be fucking")

Unfortunately: The retreat ends abruptly when they spot pirate hunters closing in on the B&B and have to make a run for it.

ACT 3 – 2x07-2x08 – RECONCILIATION

I really couldn't tell what canon was going for at season's end, starting from about "Stede kills Lowe" at the end of 2x06. I found a lot of it contradictory and kind of ass-pull-y. Major divergences to follow.

2x07 – reintegration

(this episode is similar to canon episode 2x05)

The Revenge: Having spent 2x06 thinking about what they want to do next, the Crew decide they can take on Stede + Ed on their flight from pirate hunters. Everyone's back on the boat. I'd probably make the frame story here something silly and light-hearted like the Cursed Red Suit. Everyone can mingle in groups that are different from the ones they started out in during Act 1 – permutations of people from the three distinct crews, Stede and Izzy and Ed thrown together with people they haven't seen in a while. These different groups can brainstorm deeply stupid solutions to this probably fake problem. I'd probably make the frame story here something silly and light-hearted like The Cursed Red Suit. Everybody can mingle in different groups and brainstorm deeply stupid solutions to this probably fake problem. Ed/Stede: Crucially, Stede and Ed aren't together in any of these groups. They separate and see everyone and understand that they're not, actually, in charge of Crew anymore. It's weird but okay. They both have to legitimately listen like they've been practicing all season. Ed doesn't apologize but he at least doesn't fuck with anyone, so that's... fine. Izzy+Ed: They haven't seen each other since the murder-suicide farrago in 2x02.

Izzy: "You can do the big gestures but you're a shit captain, Ed. You can't be there on the everyday stuff." (with subtext: you need to give a shit about me all the time, not just when I can be convenient to you.) It's not any kind of forgiveness, and Ed can't offer an apology because he still doesn't understand them. But this is Izzy saying he'll talk to Ed (with more pushback than canon's 2x06 "oh look it's scowly face").

Lastly: This has been a monster of the week ep where the first five minutes were like, there's a problem which will affect us in the future! and then the middle of the episode is, but it's not affecting us right now so let's do interpersonal stuff! Sadly, whoever they dump the Suit on at the end of the episode reminds them the problem still exists: the pirate hunters are worse than they thought. Hornigold is on their trail.

2x08 – IT'S REAL PERSONAL

(this episode has no equivalent in canon.) And here we reach the locus of all my frustrations!

Nose Guy doesn't exist in new s2, so we don't need to blow up the Republic with no foreshadowing as in canon 2x08

Zheng's awesome fleet doesn't exist in new s2. The foreshadowing that she was planning something incredible doesn't have to come to nothing like it did in canon 2x08, when her fleet also blew up with no foreshadowing. (what was that badass montage from canon 2x02 of her crew portaging ships thru the jungle even for ;_;)

Canon s2's sudden decision to make the stakes of the entire season "oh, uh, everyone wants to destroy piracy?" and completely ignore all the interpersonal problems set up in Act 1 – that doesn't happen!

Probably nothing in imaginary s2 will be as intense as 2x01-2x03 were. But new 2x08 will be a claustrophobic, high-pressure situation where everyone will have the resolutions they made in Act 2 tested, in a situation as dangerous as the worst of Act 1.

HERE WE GOOOOO Cold open on the Revenge:

A scene that looks about as bad as Ed's storm in 2x02: Izzy is dead from a headshot, Crew are panicking, Stede is alone and can only shout to Ed that he loves him from far away.

Ed is kitted out as Blackbeard at his worst – makeup and all – and seems ready to, again, blow the whole ship up. Viewer is perhaps worried that Ed has, again, lost it. We balance on the precipice!!

TITLE CARD!

Chronological start of ep:

Wind back the action!

Time skip from 2x07: The Revenge has been running from Hornigold for weeks, hiding themselves in ever smaller spaces as they get jumpier and jumpier about the pursuit. (Think on deck → main cabin → galley → the secret fucking deathbed under the galley.)

Ed, off by himself, is beside himself at the thought of meeting Hornigold for real once more. He failed to kill him all those years ago – what must he do now to solve the problem for good?

Intercut with Hornigold's ship:

Hornigold is chasing them, being a dick in his sumptious cabin. It's light on the action, heavy on letting us know who he is.

He's cruel and violent, like Act 1 Ed, except (a) he's less concerned about covering up his awfulness with charm and (b) he's perfectly open about "I hate this guy I used to own and I want to kill him" (about Ed) in contrast to Act 1 Ed not being able to say anything of the sort about Stede or Izzy.

We already know what kind of evil shit Hornigold used to pull because mostly-dead Ed told us in 2x03, so, you know, good enough.

Ed has to kill himself and also his dad again, lol, we get it

Climactic stuff on the Revenge!

Hornigold catches up to them; there's some fighting or whatever; it leads us up to the cold open. But then it pushes through to: it was all a fuckery!!

(do not ASK me what kind of fuckery. they are hard to write, they are both deeply psychological and incredibly goofy. This is just an outline of a fake season LEAVE ME ALONE)

Ed was a distraction, acting how Hornigold expected him to act! It works: Stede kills Hornigold!

The OTP: The murder addresses how each wants to deal with violence in their respective genres:

Ed, when he did patricide on behalf of someone he loved (mum) got caught up the cycle of dreadful murder and trauma he wanted to escape. And now he sees that he can – he's not the doomed Romantic villain!

Stede, in doing step-patricide on behalf of someone he loves (Ed), commits in a real way to ruthlessly murdering bullies. He's a swashbuckler! He definitely likes it! Finally, he's found a way to express romantic love in a grounded* way. (*by OFMD standards.)

It's a deranged pirate sitcom way of turning their tentative courtship into a healthy adult relationship.

Ed + Izzy:

During the fuckery: Izzy is playing murdered-by-Ed, so he's "dead" on deck (vulnerable) amidst the chaos.

Ed throws himself over Izzy to save him from getting shot.

This doesn't erase all the shitty things Ed did! It's a big gesture instead of an everyday thing, just like Izzy was complaining about! But it's definitely an indicator that Ed would prefer not to drive Izzy to suicide and Ed does, even, ask if Izzy's okay afterwards, checking him over, before someone else points out that Ed got shot.

Lastly:

With final approval from Izzy – after a lengthy pause where Izzy looks at Edward panting and bleeding on the deck – the Crew decide to journey forth to find Super Good Medicine to save Ed.

THERE ARE HINTS THAT s3 MIGHT SHOW US:

Blackbeard's historic raid on Charleston (who is playing Blackbeard at that point? who knows!)

Ed and Izzy working on being weird-ass friends again, but without so much murder-suicide

Stede and Ed finally talking about how they want to spend their life together: what's between retirement and piracy?

This is all pretty okay because new s2 ends in a hopeful place where nobody FUCKING DIED jfc where everyone's grown a bit but, as always, still has room to grow more.

the end!

[lumpsbumpsandwhumps]

Don't worry about that anon, friend.

I completely agree with you about your stance on "Lady whump." I mean, why have it just for that when "male whump", "trans whump", etc isn't a label? Granted, I get why people don't like seeing women hurt (and that's fair!) but I agree--we need more women in whump.

I will admit, I am guilty of whumping mostly the guys (I'm bi, male leaning) but I'm slowly getting into the women being whumpees, whumpers, the sort of thing. I have a story in the making where two lesbians are captured and hurt. I need to work on that more.

Just... wanted to say I support you, and know that I agree with you! I love whumping the guys, making them whumpers, etc but the women deserve the spotlight too in the whump world!

Look I fully admit I'm guilty of making more male characters than women, too! It gets a lot more engagement, I like the humiliation of masculinity, it becomes a habit.

For a while (and I've talked about this on my g/t blog), I didn't like dominant female characters despite having previously no problem with them before because I was processing a lot of trauma that happened during those few years. Having a dominant woman in the dynamic meant I could easily project myself onto her, and I wasn't ready to take those reins yet. I stuck to m/m because on one hand, I could view it through the lens of a dominant man, while at the same time still taking my perceived vengeance on another man, all while remaining a third party presence. Not involved, but processing.

And I'm happy to say I've done a lot of healing since then, especially reconnecting with my sexuality and unlearning shame! I adore the roles women can play in whump! Especially, especially very femme women because that's such a beautiful juxtaposition (no hate to my butch girlies I love y'all too I promise <3) of french tip manicures clawing someone's face or a knife in your gut because you were too busy ogling my tits.

I just wish we could have more of it without starting some moral high ground debate over hurting women or sexualizing the villainess. Let me have my fruity lil moment

[jojotichakorn]

ask game - top five favourite female characters :3

ok so we collectively decided that i will do top five from dramas and then top five from other forms of media, so this is gonna be a long post 😌

top five favourite female characters from dramas

number one. koh ae ri from the eighth sense

she is for real one of my favourite secondary characters of all time. she is so funny and i absolutely love the way she teases her friends, bullying IS a love language yes. i also love how confident and slightly over-the-top she is, she can really stand up for herself and other people as well, which is an admirable quality. also, i am side-eyeing her and her bestie. 🫵🏳️‍🌈⁉️ ykwim

number two. ink from bad buddy

we all know what i think about bad buddy but that doesn't mean there aren't any characters in that series who i still cherish, and ink is definitely one of them! i feel like everything in the world has already been said about her and i don't even have to explain myself. we all love her.

number three. hashimoto mio from kieta hatsukoi

she is an icon, she is a legend, etc. etc. she is so so sweet and wonderful but can also hit you across the face so hard that you fly away if you deserve it. i don't even think that's like dramatic effect exaggeration, she will kick your ass if you're acting like a fucking idiot and i love that about her.

number four. choi yu na from semantic error

true bicon of our generation. greatest fashion sense in the world. so very tired of your bullshit (and that's absolutely fair). a great friend. *bows fifty times in respect*

number five. sunny from our dating sim

she doesn't get too much screen time but i love everything about what we see of her. she is very no-nonsense and deadpan, but also very emotionally intelligent and compassionate (she literally helps lee wan figure out why he started drawing and why it's still important to him, like she literally changes his life with one small conversation). what a legend.

top five favourite female characters from other media

number one. brienne of tarth from game of thrones (tv show)

ok yeah yeah horrible tv show. ANYWAY. i am fucking obsessed with brienne. she is SO!!!! KDGJDFJGDFJGKDF. sorry. what am i even supposed to say. she is a warrior both metaphorically and literally. she is the most knight-coded character of all time. no man can compare to her in knightly qualities. she is noble, she is loyal, she is fair. she is fucking iconic.

number two. clementine from the walking dead games (video game series)

i grew up with clem, actually. i was just a couple of years older than her when i first watched a playthrough of twdg. i suppose we have to make some space for the fact that she is a protagonist in 2.5/4 games, meaning that every player kind of decides what kind of a person she is on their own. but i think overall, no matter what choices you make, she always remains a very strong and resilient person. despite everything she's lost, she doesn't lose her humanity and manages to take great care of her found family (and her adopted younger brother, shout out to our murder baby aj <3). i am very proud of her, almost like she is a literal person who grew up in front of my eyes.

number three. lae'zel from baldur's gate 3 (video game)

ok, now this one was hard. not because i don't love lae'zel so much, but because there is an insanely long list of female characters from bg3 that i absolutely adore, and choosing just one was hard. in lae'zel's place, there could have been shadowheart or karlach or jaheira or either isobel or aylin from everyone's favourite divine lesbian duo or nine-fingers or or or. i can go on forever. but i picked lae'zel for this post. so, first thing you should know about her is that she can step on you and you will be thanking her for it if she does. she is just 21 years old, yet she goes through a completely worldview-shattering experience and comes out the other side not just alive, but with her head held high. her quote "what good this heart of stone, for it to be shattered?" absolutely kills me every time. i'm gonna stop here, but i could go on forever actually yes.

number four. josephine montilyet from dragon age inquisition (video game)

very similar situation with the dragon age games and the amount of characters i could choose. morrigan, isabela, and sera in particular were very strong contenders for this space. but i ended up choosing josie for this post. she is a very sweet and romantic character. she used to be a spy (and she actually got into it because she thought it sounded romantic - she's whimsical like that), but then she ended up killing someone she knew and that experience changed her forever. she is now a very successful diplomat, determined to deal with world's problems through any means other than violence. she is very open-minded, understanding, and just an absolutely lovely person overall.

number five. anne elliot from persuasion by jane austen (novel)

choosing a favourite jane austen herione is like choosing a favourite child, but here we are. the photos are from two different adaptations, and i appreciate both of them in different ways, though i don't think we have a 10/10 adaptation of persuasion just yet. anyway, anne is naturally a rather timid and people-pleasing person, which i think a lot of us can relate to, but throughout the book she really finds her own voice and stands her ground, while simultaneously not having to completely change her personality, which i really appreciate. not everyone can be sarcastic or witty or strong-willed and that's ok. she also definitely shines as the undeniably smartest austen herione, as she figures out all the secrets, decidedly does not trust clearly untrustworthy albeit charming gentlemen, and is overall incredibly sensible, which means it's very easy to read her inner dialogue, because you never find yourself sighing at how blind she is at something that's happening. she sees everything. being inside her head is a great time.

[hoardingpuffin]

I am bored so I am gonna rank my DND and other RPG characters I've played thus far from 1 to 10.

Maria the Mafia Bride - 2/10

First ever RPG character I played, and I didn't create her, because that game we all got a randomized character from our GM. Liked the campaign (we were all time travellers from different eras - one other character was a knight from the crusades named Melvin who, through a series of happenstances, ended up wearing one bright red stiletto heel, and another other character was a Dutch ballerina who one-hitted Billy the Kid with her dance skill. Iconic shit), but the character wasn't really my thing.

Jacen, the Troubled Kid - 2/10

This was the second campaign I played and it was sort-of-but-not-really superpowers themed? We all had powers but the universe was kinda weird and nobody really got to do much, especially with our powers? So I kind of never got to explore him in RP and I still am slightly salty about it.

The Nerd - 3/10

I do not remember her name anymore but this was for a Halloween oneshot where we all played American High School archetypes (except for one of our players who chose to be the janitor? Who for some reason hung out with all the teens?). I remember nothing about this oneshot except that everyone was dead at the end and that my character lugged around a huge encyklopedia that she ended up throwing at someone, which I think is neat.

Plush Octopus - 5/10

This was for a super chaotic Toy Story themed oneshot that somehow ended up in bloodshed? I still am not sure how exactly that happened but there was a stint where a toy dragon was being chased into a goldfish tank by the family cat.

Aevetia - 8/10

We played a WoW themed campaign, which was certainly challenging seeing that most of us knew zilch about World of Warcraft. Aevetia was a draenai huntress who was literally incapable of negative emotions, and she was so much fun to play. I think this was the first time I played a character that was somewhat able to hold herself in a battle and I definitely loved that. Plus, first time I felt like we actually had a more roleplay and improv based campaign which is what I prefer over just-combat. She did also get whacked in the face with the Doomhammer twice thanks to another player failing their rolls. Docking points because when playing a character who cannot feel anger that limits a lot of what you can do, plus it was hard to navigate a setting I knew zilch about.

Eiorna the Giant Magpie - 9/10

MY GIRL! I love her so much, I wanna play her again so bad. She's a 7 foot tall avian woman whose wings got burnt off, leaving her with only sceleton remains so she's creepy as hell visually, but her personality is about as intimidating as candy floss. Also she had a bag of shiny stuff she lugged around called The Trashbag and she would occasionally just reach in there and pull out shinies to tie them to her wingbones - oblivious to the fact that that was highkey horrifying to anyone around her. Docking one point because when I played her she was really really ditzy and I think I'd probably revise her a it before playing her again.

Gwyn the Rabbitfolk Barbarian - 8/10

I only played her for one session before the campaign was abandoned but she was so fun! The whole concept of a two foot white fluffy bunny with a slingshot raging in a tavern was fantastic, I wish I could have played her more. Docking points for my choice of making her Scottish (I cannot do a Scottish accent to save my arse and I think she just kept drifting off into Russian somehow).

Bex the Stablemaster - 10/10

My first ever tank, and the first time I ever played a queer character around my friends. This was for a Victorian era vibe Halloween oneshot and Bex was a strong she/they lesbian. Need I say more?

Tancred the Weather Witch - 9/10

This was for like, a sort of Eldritch entity cultist themed oneshot? My character was maybe the only one who actually dealt damage and he was soooo fun. Now, did I essentially steal him from the Charlie Bone series? Yes. But for a oneshot it was fine, plus storm powers >

Zami - 10/10

If Tramp from Lady and the Tramp was a red tiefling who adopted about fifty kids. No notes, love him, he is perfect.

Veera Match - 9/10

My current Star Wars campaign character, a mother who is an ex-empirial soldier who is hunting down the man who killed her wife and stole her force sensitive child. Absolutely adore her but the campaign is just kinda not it. Might very well recycle her at some point though.

Nikolai Ortsev the Vampirist - 7/10

Made him for what was supposed to be a Halloween oneshot set in our GMs homebrew world. Nikolai's a self-obsessed anthropologist who believes he is the one who can singlehandedly unite the vampire and human societies... by becoming a vampire. Listen, he's my vain, slightly stupid gay scientist man and I love him - however I think he would have been better suited for a long-term campaign than a oneshot. We're not through with that story so we'll see where it goes with him.

The Toy Soldier - 10/10

Exactly what it sounds like: I played the Toy Soldier of The Mechanisms for another Halloween oneshot and IT WAS A BLAST. Easily the silliest and yet most damage-dealing character I have played to date. So so much fun. I love it, it's brilliant.

Vikesh Joiko - 10/10

He is my baby - purple tiefling cleric of a light deity, certified pretty boy, looks gorgeous in a ballgown, can and will flirt with any handsome man who seems willing, and his weapon of choice are dual axes. Also he is not above tearing out another tiefling's fangs and wearing them as jewellery when that other person is acting like a major creep. Love him, love him so much.

[faehrnem]

Alright, I usually don't engage in this type of shit since I try to stay away from drama best I can, but I am the friend that sent Six messages recounting my experiences with Galactic Stars. Initially, Stars contacted me on anon regarding a character of his and mine respecting lesbians (hell yeah brother), and after mentioning in the tags on the ask I was unaware of what character was being referred to, Stars messaged me through tumblr chat and shared the character in question. Totally harmless at first, in fact I love when people tell me about their characters, so I was happy to have a chat with Stars.

More details under the cut.

Soon after our initial meeting, Stars inquired about my commissions and if I accepted GW2 gold as payment. Currently I do not, but our conversation started off friendly and I thought it'd be a nice gesture to accept. I came to regret this decision very quickly.

Make a BIG mental note of Stars clearly stating "I can pay IN FULL, UP FRONT" after I mentioned the payment options. Tack onto that note with Stars bringing up the date he gets paid on, (7/14/23).

This is where the initial doubts began, but because I'm currently in a bit of a vulnerable spot, I overlooked the red flags that Stars literally waved right in front of my face. I ignored my gut feeling due to no longer having friends who actively play GW2, and because I've been incredibly desperate to get back into playing with somebody.

In the second message of these screenshots I took, Stars refers to Six as one of his characters, Titania (which is weird to call somebody by the name of their OC when I literally never saw him go by that name but oh well lol), and how he hoped him and Six no longer being on good terms was the very first thing that made me a little suspicious.

I still stand by the statement that I don't really mind if people I know don't get along ONLY if they remain civil, but unknown to me at the time Stars' 'falling out' with Six is because they were and still are a lying scammer 🤷‍♂️

In an attempt to carry on the conversation, I recounted my own unfortunate experiences with guildies I met through tumblr, and in the last message Stars says my situation was 'surprisingly similar to what happened between me and Six," even though Stars was removed from the NA CC for the repeated offenses listed above. The friend I was recalling didn't like that I prioritized spending time with my then boyfriend over my friends, which is completely different.

Of course, to make light of the situation, I also went into my own past friendships from when I was younger where I had friends 2-3 years younger refer to me as 'dad'. Being a father figure is different from what actually happened with Stars and the younger friends he had, where one of those friends goes into details in the next screen.

Keep in mind this entire conversation happened all in the same first couple of days Stars initially sent me a tumblr message, so him bringing up being accused of something so serious almost seemed like a bizarre way of enticing pity from me, especially after I had JUSt met him.

This part of our conversation made sense after I messaged Six, where below is a message Six received from one of the younger members and their experience with Stars. Keep in mind that this screenshot is not my own, nor do I have any ways of backing up these claims, but the coincidence would make a lot of sense.

This went on for around 30 minutes until Stars' friend left, where Stars asked if I would stream the sketches for his commission, and I agreed to do so. After finishing up the artwork (which was two different poses he wanted to choose from) we left chat and things continued on in DMs.

More basic conversation is continued on tumblr before we added each other on discord, where I joined Stars' discord group and hopped into voice chat with Stars and a friend of his. They go into detail about what happened in the NA CC server where multiple people began throwing around accusations of not paying for his commissions as well as ragging on Six, stating how Six and others ignored the 'receipts' Stars and his friend possessed proving his innocence (al thought they were never shown to me) and brought back up being wrongfully accused of pedophilia.

Most of our conversations consisted of Stars spamming me with his Guild Wars characters or stuff about LoZ, which in itself was pretty harmless, but after 10+ messages every single day of the same stuff on top of me already trying to ignore my doubts in pursuit of making a friend, I felt incredibly overwhelmed by his presence and chose to remain offline to avoid him.

Here are screenshots of all the times Stars mentioned payment. If you took note of the original date and amount Stars said he could pay, it won't take you long to see the inconsistencies that piled up over the ~3 weeks I knew him. July 14th, which landed on a Friday, was different from the sudden date change of Wednesday, July 12th.

After the first payment of 100g, I sent it back to Stars and told him I was too busy to continue with the commission. This is when I messaged Six, where he confirmed all my suspicions, and I blocked Stars shortly after.

I will say I never intended for the messages I sent to Six to be used as any form of evidence otherwise I would've been more concise and went into more detail, but I was three days off my meds and rightfully pissed that I trusted Stars regardless of all the shit that set off my nerves.

For those jumping on Six's case due to me talking about Stars expressing romantic intentions, on top of everything else that had rubbed me the wrong way, the confession Stars made literally only a week after we added each other on discord seemed very sudden for someone I have only talked to in voice chat twice. The main reason it creeped me out was from a video Stars sent me a few days prior-

Link to the tiktok here- and to recap, the video is of a tiktok where a person is doing a tarot reading for someone I assume is a follower of theirs, so it and everything said in the video has absolutely nothing to do between me and Stars.

An AI voice reads as follows:

"There is a new friendship coming along that will be helping you to 'spread your wings'.

At first, you may not expect them to become a friend,

But this individual is going to balance you out extremely well in terms of interests, goals, hobbies, etc.

This friendship after giving it a chance is going to be inspiring too,

This person will remind you of what it feels like to manifest goals and dreams,

I also see them being there for you in terms of prepping details and steps to something so you're not too stressed,

This individual may have major Cancer placements and you may meet them through a hobby related event,

Give this person a chance"

Stars sent me this video only four days after talking on discord and to me, it felt a little more than slightly manipulative- almost like him passively saying WILL be my friend. You are going to do all these things for me, because I am giving YOU a chance.

So, after that tiktok and Stars' offhanded confession, I knew I no longer wanted to pursue business with him, nor continue the very strange attempted friendship.

For those who have come to Stars' defense, yes, people CAN change. The screenshots Six re-shared are old, but in combination with the current ones I'm leaving here, just look between all the similarities between the experiences all these people have had with Stars. Stars is the common denominator, no matter how much Stars nor his friends deny that fact to themselves and to others.

There are far too many coincidences with what I had went through with Stars and those within the NA CC server, which I never knew of or was even a part of. Does this prove that Stars still hasn't learned from the past and that he continues to be a risk for anybody taking commissions? Maybe or maybe not, but I encourage everyone reading to connect the dots for themselves and come to their own conclusions.

All and all, everything that happened with Stars hurt me pretty deep. As it is, I don't have many friends to begin with, and letting someone into my life and trusting them when I almost knew I shouldn't set me right back to where I began- reluctant to try making new friends in fear of shit like this happening again.

Anyways, that's it from me. Do with all this what you will.

hi i didnt think id have to do this again but apparently 3 whole years hasnt changed a thing

This is a warning for artists about discord user galacticstars, ingame name Cryptic.6738, and their url on tumblr changes too often to keep track of but their last one was something along the lines of galaticstarsposts

If this person contacts you, don’t try to start anything just don’t engage. Your time and effort ain’t worth it.

we made a post warning people about them in 2020 but it’s since been lost to time and url changes and i can’t find the other post that surfaced about them a while back but other can corroborate the claims im about to make here.

This user does not pay their commissions, and will repeatedly come up with excuse upon excuse as to why they can’t pay, will refuse to pay in real money and instead insist on paying with ingame gold (which is worthless btw), and spam whoever they’re commissioning with changes to the piece they want or changing their commission altogether.

They will make claims about how we unfairly banned them from Character Club [CC], and will claim that we said they were a “pedo”. We did no such thing and banned them for not paying their commissions, and violating the server’s harassment policies despite multiple warning from the moderation.

screenshots from the original callout below, apologies to low quality but country boys make do.

Keep reading

[red1culous]

Oh part 4

Part 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5 // 6 // 7

After a few hours chatting with Carol and schmoozing with a few very posh looking people you made your escape claiming there was a kitchen emergency you had to manage. As you rushed up the side entrance of the house you stop mid step, balancing yourself against the railing to massage your calves. How come socialising was more tiring than baking?

“Hey stranger” a gruff male voice breaks your peace and startles you. 

You turn abruptly clutching you chest dramatically. “Barnes I told you to stop sneaking up on me!”

He laughs softly, something you were still not used to, as he shifts to face you on the step he’s sitting on. “Sorry,” he says giving you the once over, “you made these?” he lifts a plate filled to the brim with cupcakes.

You give him a warm smile which he returns with a toothy grin. Bits of cream stick to his stubble. “Depends. You like ‘em?” 

He quirks his eyebrow at you as he takes a huge bite into a cupcake smearing some of the cream onto his top lip and nose. Closing his eyes he lets out a filthy moan which causes you to laugh out loud.

“Ok ok in that case, yes I made them!” you say still laughing a little. He smiles at your admission and pats the stone step beside him. 

“What are you doing all the way back here? Shouldn’t you be out there mingling? Raking in the dollar bills?” you poke your elbow into his side once you’re settled in close enough stealing some of his body heat.

“You make it sound dirty” he smirks as he continues to demolish the plate of cupcakes.

You reach for the napkin he has stuffed in his breast pocket and wipe at his nose. “When you strip it bare, it kinda is like that, isn’t it?” you add.

“Suppose so, doll. Suppose we’re all here to be fucked in the ass.”

You stare at him wide eyed.

“What?” he exclaims.

“What do you mean what? When did you get so potty mouthed?” you answer fixing him a serious look.

He chuckles and mumbles something that sounds like a sorry heavily mixed in with cupcake mix. “Guess you haven’t been around to keep me in line.”

“I couldn’t exactly hang around, Buck. She broke up with me…” you sigh and he wraps an arm around your shoulders to pull you in for a brief side hug.

“I didn’t break up with you” a voice sounds from behind you. It’s so unexpected you shoot up from your seat and stumble backwards only to be stopped by Bucky’s hand grabbing your ankle steadying you a little.

“I didn’t break up with you” she repeats, more defensively this time. 

You laugh shaking your head from side to side. This was bound to happen to why not have it out here and now. “The hell you didn’t! Did I misunderstand you distancing yourself from me? That’s called a breakup.”

Bucky stands and makes to leave but you force him back down by shooting him a deathly glare. He attempts to make himself as small as possible but fails miserably. Instead he busies himself in studying the intricate design of your cupcakes bringing his legs further into his chest rocking gently back and forth. “I was giving you time to think” she says coming out of the doorway so you can see her better.

“Time I didn’t need, Nat” you look at her for a long moment feeling your gaze get even darker, even harder than it already was. “You made promises to me,” your voice gentling slightly as your stomach was knotting around itself. “I believed in them.”

“I never made any promises I couldn’t keep,” she corrects you. Her voice is an octave deeper, rougher than it was before. “I never have and you know that,” she adds, her voice laced with a world of pain and emotions you didn’t want to acknowledge. 

Your own hurt is spiked by her words. It suddenly becomes hard to breathe, or feel anything other than the temper that was rising like bile in your throat. It galloped through you. “Do you expect me to believe you’ve been sitting around mourning over something you caused? You had me eating out of the palm of your hand but I guess that was not exciting enough in the end” you spit. 

“Sometimes two people need to fall apart to realise how much they need to fall back together” she shrugs but you catch a glimpse of vulnerability in the way she looks at you. Her eyes scan your face and you notice the way her chin quivers slightly. 

“Don’t give me that pop culture bullshit” you shake your head again. You wanted to fight, you didn’t want to feel. 

“I need to go…” you trail off making to step away before she lunges forward almost touching you. 

“Wait!” she pulls herself away slightly. “I broke up with you because I’m cold at the core.” Her eyes search yours hopefully before continuing. “Because I have a hard sadistic streak right down the middle of me. I make you love me and then say it’s not good enough.” She stops as you lean back against the railing. It felt as if she had taken one of the knives you knew she had strapped to her thigh and chopped you off at the knees.

You raise an eyebrow and she goes on. “I broke up with you because I play this game where I see how much you can take before it wears you out. Before I force you to leave me.”

“Nat I didn’t come here to fight” you say your voice resigned and more so just tired of having this all dredged up again. 

“I don’t want to break up with you.” She says just as quietly before wrapping her arms around her torso as if she didn’t know what to do with them. 

“We are broken up,” you reply trying to keep your voice as flat as possible.  “What do you want, Nat?” 

“I want to be with you, Y/N. Properly. This time I promise. You and all your fucking breadcrumbs and pastry mix and cream and cookie dough.” She takes a small step towards you, hopeful. Even Bucky looks up at you from his gargoyle pose.

You stare at her. She stares back. You felt your resolve falter. She had read your desire to fight in spite of what you had said and she managed to throw ice cold water over your flames. 

“I love you, Y/N.” She whispers but you hear her loud and clear. “I’m sorry.”

You hated the fact that you were slowly losing the edge on your temper. She was forcing you to feel things you thought you had buried years ago. She was forcing you to look under the rug for your shared history. You wished they could just remain untouched but she had rolled up that rug and everything was up in the air. Exposed. Visible. Real.

You stare her down. You’re sure she can feel the anger simmering off of you. Something thicker and darker than anything before.

“You still love me,” she says eyes glistening slightly.

You scrunch up your forehead at her words. “I’m angry.”

“Yes but that look is also love. You still love me, Y/N” she smiles a little and if you weren’t so conflicted you might’ve allowed yourself to return her smile.

“This look?” you point to your face but don’t deny her either.

“I know you’re pissed off at me” she adds.

“You say that like you’re surprised” you say after a moment. “Of course I’m pissed. Not actively. It doesn’t keep me up at night anymore.” You pinch the sides of your nose. 

“I was in love with you. And you broke my heart. Its taken me a long time to get over that. Over you.” You say after a moment. If she wanted all the cards on the table than she was going to get it. No holds barred.

Her mouth curves slightly but not into a smile. 

You blow out a breath, not feeling entirely steady on your own two feet. “I should really go” you say again.

“Why can’t we fight for this again? Together this time,” she says taking another small step towards you. 

“Because Natasha,” you sigh out loud, “you shouldn’t need to fight for love.” 

You feel sick. Again. Sick of digging into the past. Sick of diving into the dark where you can’t see past your outstretched hand. Where you can’t win and you can’t lose. There was only how much it hurt and how much more it could hurt. 

----

Tagging: @thewidowintheweb​   @natasharomanoffismywife​  @imnotasuperhero​  @cybeleceto​  @silverwing2522​  @thelastavenger-3000​  @peggycarter-steverogers​  @rooskaya-yelena  @blackwidowromonoff​  @lesbian-x-blackwidow​  @nowthisisliving27​   @izalesbean​  @aaron-despair​  @marvelfansince08love​  @rileigh519​   @wannabe-fic-reader​  @hcartbyheart​  @marvel-randomness​  @thewitchandtheassassin  @username23345​  @xixxiixx​  @rebeliz777​  @summergeezburr​  @frostedfavesmain​  @higherfurther-romanova​ @sapphicluxanna @xxxtwilightaxelxxx​ @madamevirgo​

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Third Research Scientist of Love Lab

Debut: Rhythm Heaven (DS)

Another post about a Rhythm Heaven character! There are so many Wacky Rhythm Heaven characters we can talk about. But it’s not every day we get to talk about Rhythm Heaven. It’s loosely attached to Mario, through WarioWare, but it’s just enough of its own thing that it is out of our field of view. This is not Super Mario’s Super Mario World. Getting to talk about Rhythm Heaven is a major event. We must savor the Funky Fridays we get to spend our elusive Rhythm Heaven points.

We’re using this Friday to talk about some dude in a squirrel suit.

He appears in Rhythm Heaven in the minigame Love Lab, which is actually one of my favorite games in the series! That’s right! I managed to get invested in a guy and a girl falling in love, something unexpected from my usual lesbian self. I can’t help it! I just love scientists. “Weird scientist” was like, my whole online persona way back in the day. (And besides, these two are both obviously bi. Look at them.)

Anyway that’s enough time talking about those two, they’re both regular humans and while I respect them and their relationship, they aren’t nearly as interesting as the third guy who is also there.

What, you didn’t notice him? Well, it makes sense, I suppose. (iiiiiii suppose, yeah!) He’s just off-screen, catching the flasks You’re throwing. They realized it would be dangerous if you were throwing around chemicals and no one was catching them, as if throwing around chemicals isn’t dangerous in its own right, so they added this guy, and since he’s barely visible, why not make him Wacky? You’ll be so busy paying attention to the cute scientists and good tunes that you won’t even notice him.

The guy’s fully-sprited, but is tough to notice in-game considering how off-screen he is. He is so dang off-screen. Fortunately, you can get a better look at him if you get the Try Again screen!

Yeah! Good job sucking at Love Lab! Your reward is Squirrel Man face reveal!

Or if you don’t want to ruin their relationship, you can just wait for the end credits where he also pops in during the cast call.

Hello!

We know very little about Squirrel Man, but I think that’s kind of the point. They hid the guy off-screen, he doesn’t have much lore, I think his entire purpose is just to exist and be weird, which I think is delightful. I like the philosophy of whoever decided this minigame about scientists falling in love needed some guy who always wears a squirrel suit.

At least, that’s assuming this is a squirrel. Could be a chipmunk. (though scientifically speaking, chipmunks are a type of squirrel)

The main reason I say squirrel is because “Science Squirrel” is apparently a common trope in Japanese media? At least according to Mod Chikako, I know Risukuma from Puyo Puyo and Himari from Precure as a couple examples. And Sandy Cheeks from SpongeBob, though that’s probably a coincidence, given that all the other examples have Japanese origins. If we’re to go with this, then that gives a little more explanation to this guy, but not too much. I think there’s still plenty of room to theorize what the heck this guy’s deal is.

And that is EXACTLY what I’m here to do! It’s half the reason I’m writing this post in the first place! Below the cut, is various theories about what this dude’s deal is.

1. He’s a furry, that’s his fursona.

Let’s get the obvious (and boring) one out of the way first, which is that this guy is a furry, that’s his fursona, and he always wears a fursuit for some reason. I mean, it makes some amount of sense, if we assume he’s that dedicated to the whole furry thing, then sure, why not wear his fursuit to the laboratory? The thing is, this theory is just such low-hanging fruit. It’s too obvious. Look at the guy. The explanation I think obviously has to be something weirder.

2. Genetically engineered Squirrel Man

This is probably the most obvious “more interesting” direction, and it’s not like it doesn’t make sense. The whole minigame is set in a laboratory, and if we take into account the characters’ blatant lack of lab safety, this isn’t your ordinary laboratory... Who’s to say there isn’t a bunch of weird science going on behind the scenes? I mean, one day they’re trying to figure out what love is, the next day they’re building a squirrel guy. Just your average laboratory shenanigans.

While it is stated in-game in the Lab Journal that he wears a suit, this is purely from the perspective of the green-haired girl, who is said to be new to the lab. Maybe she just thinks he’s wearing a squirrel suit. Maybe she doesn’t know the full truth.

Of course, I don’t think he HAS to be a squirrel man to be interesting...

3. Back on that comment about lab safety,

Full-body protection. While these other two are throwing around flasks full of chemicals without even wearing GOGGLES, this guy is making sure to protect every last inch of his body by wearing a squirrel suit. And maybe he’s wearing goggles under the suit, just for good measure!

Maybe this whole experiment wasn’t even about love, maybe it was about lab safety. Maybe this guy noticed how much his lab partners were smitten with one another, and were too distracted to pay attention to things like wearing proper gear in the lab. He theorized that their relationship had something to do with their total disregard for safety and he was right.

4. School mascot gone rogue

His uncanny full-body uniform is weird for a scientist, but perfectly normal for a school mascot. Maybe he was originally cheering on the university sports team, but eventually got tired of sports and decided to pursue a life of high science instead. Why doesn’t he take the suit off? Tough to say. Might loop back around to the lab safety thing.

Alternatively, in the Rhythm Heaven universe, maybe schools just have mascots for their labs alongside their sports. You know! To... help keep the science fair going?

5. He’s the one dude’s ex

The idea is that he’s simply the first scientist’s ex, they broke up on good terms, and so he still gets to stick around in the Love Lab. Does this do anything to explain why he’s wearing the squirrel suit? No, not really. Maybe the first guy just fell in love with the school mascot (see theory 4) and the squirrel guy just wanted to take interest in his boyfriend’s passions and so he signed up for a job at the Love Lab. And eventually they broke up but he decided to stay around the lab because now he was invested in learning about love. Something like that.

6. He’s lonely

Do you realize how tough it is to stand out in this world? And in a lab where everyone’s researching love all the time, how heartbreaking it can feel when you see everyone around you falling in love while you remain alone? He wanted to make sure everyone would notice him, so bam! Squirrel suit!

But that isn’t to say it was effective. If we go back to the Lab Journal, it took the green-haired girl three days to notice him at all, and he spends the entire minigame off-screen! Not even the CAMERA felt like keeping him in focus. Maybe if you see the squirrel guy at the Love Lab any time soon, you should give him a hug. Maybe he deserves it.

7. He Just Looks Like That

Some people just look like squirrels. It’s rude to stare.

Maybe none of these theories are true, maybe multiple of them are. We don’t know. We’ve never gotten much lore for this guy, but I’m kind of glad about that. This sort of intrigue breeds curiosity, and honestly the more wacky theories that can be proposed surrounding this guy’s existence, the better! It’s part of the reason I fall so in love with minor and obscure characters. You’re given just enough information to get an idea of what the character is, but are given a lot of room to let the creative juices flowing. That’s why I think Third Research Scientist of Love Lab is one of my favorite Rhythm Heaven characters. Congratulations!

[yusei-clownington]

So let's talk about Link Click.

I was contemplating whether to make it in individual posts or just... Write EVERYTHING in a long one.

But I picked the latter, so buckle up and bear with me.

Or y'know, just Scroll past this if you don't wanna go through a prolonged ramble about some series ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

(spoilers for... Pretty much the whole thing down there ⬇️)

How much can we traumatize Cheng Xiaoshi: the series

So let's start with the characters

And by that I just mean the trio, I'm not gonna talk about everyone because... well yeah.

1. Qiao Ling

She's really pretty + doesn't have a bad personality. That's about enough for me to like her.

As you may know, She was the one in charge of bringing in business. Almost all of the cases were brought in by her.

I love how everyone assumed the person who ran the shop was an old lady, and how that pisses Qiao ling off. 👌

2. Lu Guang

A white haired anime boy. We all know what happens to these...

That aside, I'm a sucker for bleached/ white hair... So.. 😳😳😳

He's the calm type, which I find adorable. Even his voice was pretty soft, I think it fit him well.

I especially adore how he was like, basically Cheng Xiaoshi's common sense? He was always there like "dude, no. Think man. I beg you" though... Ahm the other barely listened to him so...Oof?

He seemed to be so done with Cheng Xiaoshi's shit, but like in an affectionate way.

3. Cheng Xiaoshi

The writers either absolutely loved or just straight up hated this guy. No like seriously, out of all three of them he was the one who had to live through every single painful story... The poor guy can't catch a break.

If you haven't already guessed, he's my favourite. I mean come on! An emotional, reckless, somewhat irrational dumbas with a tiny ponytail?? How can he NOT be my favourite?

His bromance with Lu Guang is so sweet AND his relationship with Qiao ling just brings me joy.

PLUS I LOVE ME A NOT COMPLETELY SERIOUS CHARACTER. Seriously imagine the exact same series but EVERYONE is fully Serious. I still need my dose of dumb characters y'know.

Though his recklessness did get out of hand at some point... But THEN IT PAYED OFF....but then it didn't.. i- ANYWAY

I think he had the most growth in the series. And you know me, character growth? SIGN ME TF UP.

I'll be talking about the lesson/s he learned in a little more detail...later in the post.

Now let's talk Concept

The idea of two characters, one being able to see some of the events occurring around the time a picture is taken, and the other being able to ENTER thsoe pictures of a certain span of time, helping solve different people's issues/ major cases is just GENIUS!

I can't stress how much I enjoyed going through snippets of different stories while also remaining in the same plotline.

*cough* Cheng Xiaoshi definitely did not though *cough*

It was beautiful seeing different people's lives and struggles through the eyes of a character that, just like me, is just experiencing those scenarios for the very first time.

Unlike Lu Guang, Cheng Xiaoshi didn't know what was going to happen, He was genuinely sad, angry, happy...etc whenever a certain event would occur, and he'd drag the viewers along with him ( AT LEAST ME.)

It's just really good ok , I didn't expect to love it as much as I did! 😭

That aside,

Let's talk about...

The events.

I'll talk about each case/story on its own because... Well yeah. The finale... Gets its own bit.

(I'm not going to be talking about all of them in order because of the Emma thing)

1. Lesbian Noodles

I don't care what anyone says, that's basically what this one was.

It was the sweetest out of all them, and arguably the least troublesome.

Just two gal pals, a secret noodle ingredient, and a lot of cuteness.

And may I just say they're both Extremely gorgeous?

It was simply a short bittersweet story, with lessons like "People change" and stuff.

2. The kidnapping (Ft. Rip-off power rangers)

So uh. I kinda loved this one because

She got what was comin' for her.

Basically long story short, A child had gone missing , his parents both coped very differently.

Now due to my lack of knowledge about mental illness, I won't talk about the mother much. All I'll say is that it was pretty painful.

As for the father, I loved how determined he was to find his son, and how patient he was with his wife. He was just all around great.

Now as one of his attempts to find his lost son, Father man fella decides to go to ask our beloved thruple trio for their vague magical help. And they agree because duh.

Cheng xiaoshi goes through his usual daily dose of trauma, this time by getting drugged and kidnapped by a human trafficker who for some reason believed in ghosts.

Thankfully, it all works out and he beats the hell out of her + gives her some trauma of her own so we good.

I just like how this whole one worked out, and somehow had a good ending.

Also we get this:

*chef's kiss*

3- College romance

Eh it was fine. But compared to the rest of the cases I didn't really feel much coming out of it. Like aside from the fact that at the end... We think the girl whose name I can't remember is dead or something ( which...well yeah) and the whole.... Strange person calls them ( which later leads to my favourite part of the whole series). That was pretty cool.

But yeah the whole thing was just... Two people who liked each other, one probably confessed his love to the other at a very stupid time. Dude, she's drunk. Like tell her tomorrow or something. OR EARLIER. But anyways... Some parts were funny.

DON'T GET ME WRONG THOUGH IT WAS GOOD I just prefer the others over it.

4- *incoherent sobbing noises*

Ah where do I start with that one?

Okay so trauma. Lil ponytail man got a lot of it in this one.

He had to first get attached to a basketball team, a cute girl and a mother figure

Then just have them all

Die

Wonderful, Lots of fun!

I actually teared up at the end of that one, and judged myself pretty hard for it but we good.

It was just really heartbreaking seeing the very end of it I guess. Plus it was the most down-to-earth out of all of them in my opinion? ( Literally... because earthquake...um...yeah i'll heard out)

I also felt it was really different from the rest, because this time, Cheng Xiaoshi was SUPPOSED to change some stuff. Mostly because the result in the end would still remain the same: everyone fucking dies.

I completely understand why Lu Guang refrained from telling Cheng Xiaoshi everything, but I couldn't help but feel bad for Cheng Xiaoshi anyways. It was really heartbreaking seeing him think he was fixing stuff by delivering the messages, only to discover eveyrone was going to die anyway... Then when he thought he could at least save the mother, turns out Lu Guang never intended to have them save her anyway, and she STILL DIES.

The whole scene with him being hugged by the mother as she dies was just... God just stab me, it'll hurt less.

When all is said and all is done though, it was honestly my favourite case.(not to be mistake. for favourite episode... That's a different story).

Mostly because of the basketball match that took place. I mean come on.... A BASKETBALL MATCH. AN EPIC BASKETBALL MATCH. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

Also this guy was very entertaining:

5-Emma's fucked up life

okay uh can... Can someone like... Give Emma a hug please? GIVE THE POOR LADY A REASON TO LIVE.

This poor woman was driven to KILL HERSELF because of all that she's been through.

Like... Like let's recap her life shall we?

She grew up with a pretty average but happy family, and eventually left to work in the city like she always wanted to.

Pretty good so far right? Yeah.

Then she gets promoted. Oh that's goo-

Her boss harrasses her, and offers her money from fuilthy sources to keep her mouth shut about a certain issue.

She's stuck at work almost 24/7 and eats takeout, but not just any takeout ONES WITH LITERAL WORMS?????? and if that wasn't enough, she has to deal with her boss trying to smooch her every now and then.

THEN SHE'S THE ONE ACCUSED OF TOUCHING H I M AND GETS FIRED.

Sounds horrible right?

There's more.

When Cheng Xiaoshi does his thing and sends a message that she misses her parents on her behalf, she decides to finally go see them... And we think she's gonna have a happy ending.

Until some blonde 2000s low-budget hacker movie cosplay shows up and asks if she wants him to drive her to the Station.

That's when we know She's fucked.

And we find out that SHE DIED.

But that wasn't all there was to it, she wasn't killed, nonononono, it gets even more depressing.

So she gets in the car, ok? Then turns out it's not just any blondie, IT WAS THAT ONE RICH BLONDIE WE THINK IS A SERIAL KILLER. He chokes her under the claim that she'd stolen his money (which I never fully understood whether she actually did?)

OH BUT WAIT she doesn't die yet.

Thankfully, Cheng Xiaoshi with his wonderful timing yells out/ screams on terror because it's

*Que Funky music* just another day in traumatown 😄

So blondie leaves an unconscious Emma in the car, and goes out to see who just yelled. He finds no one, cuz... Cheng Xiaoshi clicked out of the photo,and goes back to the car, driving her to the hospital. BUT SHE WAKES UP. HE THINKS SHE'S A ZOMBIE NOW???. LMAO WTF? Then a car accident happens.

He gets crippled, and she's STILL ALIVE, but is literally so done with everything, she walks to the nearby bridge, ready to DIE.

So....yeah

Now, it's time for my favourite part of the whole series

The Finale

AND BEFORE EVERYONE MURDERS ME, NO I DIDN'T ENJOY WATCHING LU GUANG GET STABBED, OR SEEING EMMA DIE.

That aside , the finale just made me really satisfied, we finally got to see Cheng Xiaoshi's growth displayed, and everything he learned Throughout the series payed off in one smartass Masterplan to lure in crazy blondie and have him arrested.

Plus THERE WAS A FUN FIGHT SCENE. IT WAS PRETTY COOL OK? I'M A SUCKER FOR FIGHT SCENES... AND I GOT ONE. SO YEAH.

The part where Cheng Xiaoshi catches up with Emma and delivers his wonderful speech about all that he'd learned from the lives he had to live was just wonderful.

We see Cheng Xiaoshi finally come to terms with what he'd been struggling so long to understand. The past is the past, and it can't be changed. The present is what we have, and what we should focus on, and the future is what we can always fiddle with through the present.

Allthroughout the series, tweaking the past never did anyone any good. It only made things worse, brought about endless regrets, and maybe involved people that wouldn't have even been inconvenienced if the past wasn't changed.

Cheng Xiaoshi finally realises this.

The past, has passed. Let it be.

If People were to spend their present days wallowing about the past without looking forward, they would end up deeply regretting that.

The past is something one should learn from, but never aim to change. We aim to change our future. And that's through our present.

And when Cheng Xiaoshi came to that realisation, it helped him divise a plan to capture the blondie, and made him - just- more efficient and mature.

And I honestly thought that was gonna be like a... Sentimental good ending or something, where Emma lives and stuff y'know?

But the series really went: Fuck you, and your happy ending, HAVE A FINAL PLOT TWIST SUCKERS.

SO EMMA DIES ANYWAY, LU GUANG IS STABBED BY A POSESSED QIAO LING, ALL BECAUSE OF SOMEONE WHO CAN INHIBIT SOULS, THEN THE CREDITS ROLL AFTER THE VILLAIN DELIVERS AN EPIC LINE.

I can't even begin to say why I find this amusing. The series literally pulled a sike on us, and I'm all for it.

I was just there staring at the screen like

O H M Y

I don't even know if I'm in awe or if I'm sad about Lu Huang. LIKE SO MANY CONTRASTING EMOTIONS ALL AT ONCE.

But to be fair it's refreshing to see.Happy endings aren't always exciting or satisfying.... And despite all the pain this one brought, I personally think it was... SOMETHING.

[sepublic]

TOH deserves better

           Y’know what?

           Now that I’ve… Had time to really focus and think and process about the news for The Owl House and its shortened Season 3, now that I’ve really dealt with other things in my life, I’m…

           I’m angry. I’m genuinely MAD…

           The Owl House has always been a comfort show for me! It’s a show I’ve loved, its characters and worldbuilding and mystery is fascinating to me and it’s inspired me! When Season 1 ended... I was excited. I was prepared. I braced myself for the story that Dana Terrace and the writers intended to tell us. I knew we had at LEAST two more full seasons to go, based on Dana’s comment about a third season.

           Season 2 would’ve been a safe season in a sense. A season where we’re in the middle of the action, where we can get onto things that have been planned and set up; But at the same time, it’s not the final season! It’s not the end. There would’ve been an entire, full season, twenty or something episodes after that. I could’ve sat back and enjoyed Season 2 in all its entirety, as another phase of the story set in the middle, and when it was all said and done, I could speculate and hope and wish and think about this final third season; Assuming we wouldn’t even get a fourth!

           But no… NO, Season 3 is literally just. THREE episodes, each twice the normal length, so like six episodes; But still, it’s obvious with how it’s formatted into a trio that Season 3 will be less a season, and more the final battle and climax of the show, the culmination of everything else! Which means for all intents and purposes… Season 2 IS the final season of the show. That everything we want to see, we hope to see; It can only happen in Season 2, because Season 3 is the final battle in a sense.

           Warning: A LOT of text and upset ramblings below!!!

           And that deeply angers me. I’ve done the calculations and there are fourteen episodes we’re missing out on, due to Season 3 being cut down. Fourteen episodes to do any wide variety of things; To focus on side characters, to flesh out lore and plot. To extend and focus on character arcs, to introduce and establish things; Fourteen episodes to introduce, develop, and finish various arcs and smaller plots! There’s SO much to do in fourteen episodes, especially in regards to relationships, and even representation as we talk about Luz and Amity and everyone else!

           And out of NOWHERE, out of the blue- We don’t get that! Dana Terrace herself admitted on Twitter that she left in December to focus on the news. I’m not entirely sure on how production works, but I imagine she and the crew were working on Season 2A when they got this news… Which means they’re going to have to COMPLETELY rehaul and rehash their plans for Season 2B as a result. They’re going to have to hastily pull together and rush the arcs they had planned out, so it can lead up to Season 3.

           They expected fourteen episodes of development; And now they have to resolve that within the remaining ten or so episodes of Season 2, which is already jam-packed with the original plans. At this point, any criticisms for the show’s writing or pacing that might come later down the line… I can’t take it seriously in good faith. Not when I know how Disney just screwed over Dana and the crew so suddenly, so abruptly, so HUGELY. Season 2 was supposed to be the mid-point, and you KNOW there are a bunch of arcs and little plot points that will never see the light of day, or be rushed, to accommodate the change!

           And it really angers me. Season 3 would’ve been made after a lot of fandom response- So all you fans of the Detention Kids, who would’ve liked to see more of them? Season 3 would’ve been the time for Dana and the crew to throw the fandom a bone… EXCEPT, because it’s only three/six episodes, there’s no way the Detention Kids will get focus now. Not when there’s the actual climax of the show left. There’s no room to have fun, to focus on side characters or expand even more on pre-established ones. Fourteen episodes’ worth of kind, small little moments that stand out- Gone, down the drain, never to see the light of day to begin with!

           I just… Feel so BAD for Dana and the crew; Dana fought so hard for this story! Her roommate said that nobody wanted to see a story about an old witch and her young apprentice, and you know what, Dana FOUGHT for that story and got it for us! She had to deal with censors for Lumity, but she fought for that! Dana and the crew were EXCITED to tell us, they no doubt had so much planned and in store, you can tell from the tone of the Reddit AMA and the Charity Livestream, all of which were done months before Disney told Dana and the crew about Season 3 being downsized.

           And like… Dana herself said that she’s still down to do future Owl House content. If Disney asks her to –with pushback from fans- then yeah, she could do more! We might get an epilogue or sequel series… But that doesn’t change how the pacing of the show will be disrupted. How a lot of arcs will have to be prematurely rushed through and finished, instead of having the loving time taken to develop and appreciate them.

          Characters will be rushed through, we had FOURTEEN episodes taken from us! Characters like Belos or Kikimora, or Odalia and Alador, the antagonists- They’re not guaranteed to survive or make it past the end of Season 3, so even if we got more content post-S3, it wouldn’t really be able to remedy for their drastically-shortened screen time, unless through flashbacks or resurrection or whatever. Characters, arcs, development, all are being shafted here.

           And this ANGERS me! Like I said, The Owl House is my comfort show. I finished Season 1 with the full understanding that we weren’t even halfway through yet; We still had SO much more to do, so much more to see, amidst all of the wonders that Season 1 had provided! But now I feel cheated. I feel cheated, because sike! Actually you WERE halfway through, and that changes everything about the tone, the pacing, the setting of the show. Suddenly I’m already looking forward to and anticipating the end, because the end is DIRECTLY after Season 2; And I can’t enjoy it as much, because now I have that anxiety and dread as Season 2 ends that… THIS is the final, full, regular season.

           It was just supposed to be another season for me to enjoy, to further flesh out the show- And out of nowhere, I have to approach this with a sudden sense of finality, I’m forced to really appreciate it even further, because this is it! This is all we have left, when until then, I thought we had so much more! And it’s angering. It’s abrupt. Season 2 was in many ways supposed to be carefree and hands-off…

           But now, I have to approach it in an existential sense. With the full understanding that the show is essentially ENDING by this point, with each new episode, we’re on a timer now. We’ve lost the luxury of Season 1, that Season 2 would’ve had, if it was the midpoint in the series. And now I can’t enjoy things as much because just as quickly as I got these new arcs and characters and developments, I have to watch them be quickly wrapped up. 

          I barely even got them, I was looking forward to more of it, there should’ve been more, and then bam! It’s already done, just kidding! Like it was handed to me, and then abruptly torn out of my hands barely a few seconds later, after I’d anticipated an entire day alone with it.

           I hate this. I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m disappointed. I had so much wonder and joy that this was only the beginning, but now it’s actually the ending! I had so much to look forward to, so much promised- And this show was doing well! It was SUCCESSFUL, Lumity brought a HUGE influx of popularity, and you know what? The show deserves that! 

          Not just for being good in general, but also- This is SUCH a huge step forward in representation, especially given how this is DISNEY of all channels… With Luz being a bisexual, ADHD, character of color! Amity fully being a lesbian ON-SCREEN, no censors, nothing held back, her crush treated and fully indulged the way a straight person’s would’ve been!

           The Owl House deserves so much for just that alone. So much attention, and it got attention, it was arguably at a peak because now so much fans are tuning in… And Disney, those paradoxical cowards, they decide to end it early!? I’m angry. I’m frustrated, I’m sad, I was told to expect more, to just enjoy myself in the moment, but now I have to readjust my sense and perception of everything in anticipation of a sudden end.

          And I’m sure that’s what Dana and the crew have to do as well, they were so excited, no doubt planting things in Season 2A to be resolved later in Season 3… But nope, now they have to rush it through and finish it in Season 2B, along with everything else they had planned! And they might have to cut out stuff from Season 2B, to make room for the ending of those pre-established arcs!

           It’s frustrating and clumsy and sudden, and it just… ANGERS ME! It makes me genuinely mad and frustrated, like I want to punch a wall… And I hate it! And a part of me hopes and wishes that if the fans really DO give enough of a backlash and demand, maybe Disney will change its mind. 

          If we say enough, ASAP, then maybe Disney will delay Season 2B so that Season 3 can be extended back to its proper length, allowing Dana and the crew to redo Season 2B as they originally intended. I’d be fine with waiting additional time, as much as the crew needs, to redo Season 2B with the understanding that they have that full third season back!

           I’d GLADLY, happily, let the crew take their time to redo Season 2B to its original glory and plans, to better set up a full Season 3! I’d let them take their time, I wouldn’t complain at all, I’d still watch! So Disney, go ahead, change your plans abruptly AGAIN, it’s not like you have no qualms screwing over this show or other content creators with this kind of back-and-forth, look at Matt Braly having to contend with True Colors being delayed and almost censored, only for the whole thing to be useless because the original episode was leaked anyway! He had to rush out the Season 3 intro, I’m betting this RIGHT now!

           But even if it was delayed, even if it was released early… It doesn’t change the actual show itself. It doesn’t change the actual story, just how it was presented- But the story itself, it remains intact. The Owl House doesn’t even get that. Brevity can be the soul of wit, but if you’re suddenly told out of nowhere to chop it down, it’s not gonna be the soul of anything. 

          It’s just… SO UNFAIR, and it makes me genuinely pissed off. Like, I could handle True Colors being delayed by the end of the day, because the show is otherwise the exact same- But TOH being so drastically reduced, abruptly shortened, I think that’s honestly objectively worse… So I braced myself for and adapted to one bad thing, and then got another thing even MORE terrible! Much more terrible, in fact- Amazing.

           I’m just… Tired and frustrated. Like it feels like I had this happy thing in my life and it was taken away from me, I can’t even have that, I can’t have the hope and anticipation for more, that’s it! It’s already done and gone! I knew I’d have to prepare for that eventually, but in a manner that felt fleshed-out and well-rounded, like I’d really had my time to enjoy and appreciate… But just kidding! It’s like a punch in the face, and it makes me honestly depressed and sad, and I kind of don’t know what to do besides… Ask for more, and hope?

          A part of me feels like the investment, the enjoyment, was lowkey all for nothing, meaningless and worthless, now that so much was cut down- And obviously it IS worth it, it always is! But in the moment of despair, I’m asking… Is that it? It was all for nothing, then… All that effort. All of that speculation and enjoyment and anticipation. 

          All you had look forward to, all of that emotion you put in- So much of it is going to be left unresolved because how the show was so enormously cut down. And now it makes me hesitant to invest in other shows, I’m afraid, in case they get cut down like this, in case my attention is punished and deprived for engaging with the material like that to begin with.

           As a viewer and someone who loves and enjoys media, I feel like there’s a trust that’s being breached, I can’t really rely or depend on things I enjoy to last or stay there, so why bother getting invested? Why put in the effort for fandom and content if it’s going to be gone like THAT, if all plans are thrown out the window, and all attention and feedback is meaningless! 

          What’s the point of showing that you love this, of expressing yourself, if you’re going to get even LESS than what you’d cautiously hoped for? Why hope at all? There’s this bitterness left inside of me, that you shouldn’t have bothered enjoying or getting invested, or pouring yourself into this, because in the end you weren’t going to get anything close to that.

           Which, fan content is ALWAYS valid! But it’s usually done to expand on stuff that’s already there… But if there was nothing there because it got pulled last second, then why bother? Why enjoy if it’s so brief? Why invest if the conclusion is so sudden and out of nowhere? Why care at all? And I know that shouldn’t change how I feel… 

          But with Infinity Train and Amphibia, I guess I really can’t count on anything, not even the mutual solidarity of numbers, to change a thing. So why hope for and ask for more and better? Why even enjoy what I have, knowing it’ll be cut off by itself in the future because the planned arcs were forcibly dropped? I can’t enjoy an episode as part of a larger story now, just a shorter one, and now there’s this pressure.

           Pressure, that’s it- A pressure on the show. A pressure on the writers and audience. To suddenly cram in and make the most of this time. Pressure on every Season 2 episode to go above and beyond to make up for the almost complete and utter lack of Season 3; Season 2 will practically have to carry the weight of TWO seasons on its back, two condensed into one! And it just… There’s so much pressure. No time to breathe or enjoy myself or relax, because now it’s all suddenly ending and fleeting in front of my eyes when I hadn’t done that, and now I go back and yell “Come back!” 

          I wish I’d enjoyed it more knowing it was already ending, but it’s too late. I wish I could’ve done something, but what could I have done? And I really did try to appreciate and cherish this to my ability, but I did so expecting more, as I should’ve- And now it feels I didn’t do enough. I feel cheated. Like the rug was pulled under me, that my effort was rendered naught and never enough no matter how hard I tried, the game is rigged.

           I’m frantic. I’m paranoid. I’m already having to say goodbye and brace myself for the end, when I expected at least another full year to unapologetically not have to worry about that, to just be in my zone and be myself and ENJOY… To not have to worry existentially like that. I can’t have that peace, I can’t have that longing, lasting fun. 

          I knew it’d come to an end, but now I can’t have the time to properly enjoy and relax and appreciate it, to truly live it out meaningfully and deliberately… I’m going to have to laser-focus now and put aside other things, because this thing is NOW and won’t last, unlike the rest; And in a way, that kind of rush and pressure, it just ends up paradoxically making the whole thing LESS fun, even!

          So in my attempts to appreciate and enjoy it more, I enjoy it less. It’s like a punch in the face in direct retaliation for getting invested and attached, for actually being connected to the story. I’m being punished for enjoying, for letting myself feel, so why ever bother with that, ever again? Why should I get attached? I’m just punished for that, so I won’t bother. I won’t put myself out there so even if it DOES see itself through, I won’t have been there for it from justified paranoia, and then I’ll miss out when it IS there. Like I can’t win, no matter what- So why participate?

          It doesn’t matter, it’s all useless. “It makes me happy”, well, maybe that’s no longer even a reason to do and make and enjoy things anymore, huh! And now I’m just… Bitterly putting it aside. Feeling like I should’ve known better, that at least I’m being more ‘mature’. I feel like Luz in the first episode, throwing her book away, her prized hyperfixation that invigorated and brought so much meaning to her… I feel like Luz, just almost apathetically, in resignation, throwing it into the trash while someone smiles and tells me it’s okay and good and I SHOULD have done that, actually!

           It’s making me tired and exhausted. I didn’t want to have to suddenly feel and deliberate over all of this, all at once, right now- But I feel I’d regret it even more if I DIDN’T do that, and then it ended, and the time and moment, the opportunity, it passed! It’s a frantic dread and paranoia that means I can’t appreciate and enjoy properly, because every little thing I so desperately claw at and prize and treasure, but also I keep telling myself not to get my hopes up, and…

          It lowkey makes me want to curl up and cry? And sob, because now that insecurity, that voice in the back of my head, it was RIGHT, I really should’ve listened to it to begin with, and not ever bothered! Don’t risk the trust in connecting with someone else’s story that’s still in process, only ever engage with stuff fully finished. 

          I can never enjoy that anticipation and hope now, of being along the ride for the journey, of just getting to look out the window and wonder; Not knowing the ending, but looking forward to it! And I can’t do that anymore, not when I’m afraid of the trip suddenly grinding to a screeching halt out of nowhere!

           But yeah, I’m just… I…

           …I’m sad. I’m angry, and now I’m sad. Depressed, outright, directly because of this, when otherwise I wouldn’t have been- And that’s painful and frustrating and makes me feel like I’m being tossed around a whirlwind, with no hope. No say or agency, just a constant bad hand I have to brace myself for. So all I can do is curl up and lie down and hope for the worst to be over, and never dare to be so ungrateful or greedy to ask or hope for more, for good things, just for the bad things to lessen or stop.

          In the end, it didn’t even matter, so I should just throw it all away, never try again; And everything I did beforehand, up until then, I’ll look back at it all, those fond and innocent memories, and I’ll look back with an eternal bitterness that will forever corrupt and scar those recollections. So even the past, which allegedly can never change, is ruined for me! The past never gets better, it only gets worse, so WHY… Why believe and hope, and love and live???

          I’m just a stupid fool for being so invested in this cartoon, in fiction, why don’t I just GROW UP and focus on REAL things that matter, huh?!? I really do feel like Luz genuinely thinking and resigning herself to the Reality Check camp, having that childlike passion and joy just whittled down and strangled, feeling it die out; Knowing it will, so just getting it over with and killing it now, before I have to mourn later.

          I shouldn’t ever put forth the trust in engaging with others’ stories, just my own because I at least have control there, I should just be alone and by myself with only my stories, and never get to connect with or experience companionship with others’ stories, ever again. Just build up my walls and hide and be alone and isolated as I’ve always been- It seems even with fiction or media, I’m STILL by myself! There’s an intimacy in reading and emotionally engaging with others’ stories, where other writers put a piece of themselves into that… Hoping others will read and respond and reciprocate, and feel the same!

           Well, maybe I shouldn’t put myself out there, either, in fears of being punished and cut off and whittled down like that! Why express myself, why be, why live? Why be invested into the soul of others, manifested in their own content, if it’ll never come to fruition, if my own soul will only hurt for connecting?! This is worse than a fave or a comfort character dying, because at least the integrity of the story itself remains and is worth it.

          There’s always the chance of a return or a revival or a flashback to appreciate, but THIS… This is real life. And it’s THE ending in the most abrupt and literal and tangible sense, of the media itself; An ending more powerful and harsh than any resolution to an arc. Because now NOTHING will ever be expected to come out from this, ever again- No new content, nothing else to enjoy. Media is like a fantasy, an escapism from real life, but even when I fully expected and accepted and saw the boundary and end between fantasy and reality… I still get punished with reality regardless! I can’t escape that real life because it WILL go out of its way to directly cut in and interfere, and ruin, what I love.

           So why escape? Why invested? Why love? Why should I ever feel comfort??? It’s all stupid. I’m stupid. Life is finite and it’s merely what’s directly in front of you, don’t dare to dream or imagine, or think or hope, just focus on what’s in front and get by and try to live… Or at least ‘survive’. Or ‘not die’, I guess.

          And now I resent real life even more for ruining this for me, when beforehand I could still like and appreciate it, even if I still needed some time away every now and then. So paradoxically, trying to get me to focus on real life, has made me detest it moreso! It’s that whole thing of don’t bother trying because you’ll just get punished for it, just passively wait and receive, don’t LIVE. Don’t stake initiative or agency.

          At least if a character dies, the universe and immersion is still intact, if not moreso because then you feel and become even MORE connected and get that emotional catharsis, everything up until then and after takes on a whole new meaning and appreciation; But if it ends in real life, the immersion is gone. The fantasy is permanently shattered, and now it’s all worthless in hindsight because you’re reminded that it was never real to begin with.

          And what little you DID get, is now ruined; And you’re not going to get anything else new, either! You can’t even KEEP things anymore… You’re just a bitter fool who’s going to get old and wither, look back, and become even MORE bitter and miserable. All of the emotion you felt, it’s been rendered worthless and meaningless, that connection once made… And I hate to see things ruined like that, so maybe don’t have things to begin with!

          I’m bitterly, enviously jealous of others who still manage to enjoy, because why are you still invested?! Why still keep trying, don’t you realize how pointless it is!? And now I’m just ruining that for them, I’m ruining THEM, in my own mind and heart and place in life. How can you still keep going!? So even that stuff they make, that fandom content that exists on its own more or less in a sense, even THAT is marred and ruined for me… And I feel like I’m internally ruining that for others, that makes me feel guilty as I loathe myself for being so awful, so why believe that I can be better? Why try to be better then?!

           I’m envious, because you guys still manage to cope and handle this in a realistic way, in a safe and mature manner. And anything others make, it’s just a cruel, cold reminder, a mockery even, of what I’ve lost, of my dashed and ruined hopes. And then I can’t bear to look at or even enjoy THAT, especially stuff made post-announcement, because you guys managed to keep making it anyway. And me, I didn’t, so what does that say about miserable old me? But then don’t make this about MYSELF…

          Seriously though, if you’re going to still enjoy and create, please do so! Don’t let this bitter fool stop you. Don’t let me hurt you. Just keep going out there and be yourself, me, I’ll… I’ll figure something out I guess? But yeah, that’s MY problem, not yours, those of you who keep creating anyway, you’re everything I admire and more! You’re all heroes in a sense, and I encourage and fully support you- If my ramblings make you hesitate or discourage you, then just throw them aside and disregard that! I’d never want to intrude or interrupt someone’s own expression, not when I mourn my own, that’s for sure!

           And y’know what? Other people who keep creating… You remind me that there IS hope. That there maybe is a point in going on and being invested, especially indie creators, because y’all have control and agency and take over what you make, and don’t have to depend or rely on, or fear, some gross corporation butting in and pulling the strings, threatening to revoke and take it all away! Thank you, I’m grateful, truly I am, I’m eternally indebted in a way I can never fully repay. Maybe I can try to make up for this by continuing to make my own things… So now this depressed, cynical rant, suddenly it takes a more hopeful turn as I write it, because of others!

           And now I’m thinking to myself… It IS worth it to connect. For those little moments of inspiration and joy and hope that others can instill. Thanks, you guys. Out of nowhere, you suddenly made it better for me, and kind of helped me overcome this depressive slump; And here I was, just thinking and resigning myself to the end! I guess it never really IS the end… And what I said about feeling like Luz, throwing away her beloved book and joy of her life? Well, she DID go back to grab that book, and in doing so, found love, found family, and happiness she couldn’t have anticipated beyond her wildest dreams!

           …Even so, wishful thinking aside, this has all been a whirlwind to me;

           I’m tired.

[raviposting]

Okay so I’ve seen a lot of conflicting responses to Buddie this episode, from it being clear to people that they’re getting together, to thinking the writers have unintentionally messed things up to thinking it’s purely queerbait.

And I get the different responses, I do - tbh I’m somehow in two camps, where I simultaneously believe it’s a slowburn but I also think it’s bait. And those are two very different opinions to have and it got me thinking about why we have these different responses as fans to the possibility of a queer ship (namely two men who would presumably be bi/pan) being canon. 

While people talk about how it’s just people wanting two characters to kiss or entitled fans - sure, that’s existent in every fandom, but I think there’s also a very real fear from queer fans who don’t want to get their hopes up and I d on’t love how the conversation has shifted to calling queer fans stupid for having hope, so I kind of wanted to break it down into 3 aspects that I’ve noticed: 

How writers portray bi characters and why that makes fans hesitant to have hope

What queerbait actually means as a concept

How much “slowburn” has changed in procedurals

1. How writers portray bi characters

Something I’ve thought about a lot are the bi characters I’ve seen on TV - Darryl (CEG), Sara Lance (Arrow), Lucifer (Lucifer), just to name a few. These are great characters imo and I think you’d have a fun time watching but a thing to note is that all these characters were established as bi within the first season of their respective shows and they all fairly quickly fell into a clear romantic ship as well (with the exception of Sara as she spanned multiple shows). It may have taken time for them to say the word bisexual, but it was still clear these characters were queer fairly quickly on. You could maybe argue that Lucifer was a slowburn, but then (while it does not take away from him being bi/pan so do not use this as an excuse to be shitty about him) it’s a m/f ship which is still not the point of my post, to find a m/m or f/f ship that has that same treatment.

Some writers have done it - like for Valencia in CEG, or Petra in JTV - when they saw that fans read them this way, but trying to find those characters were few and far between, and when I looked at popular queerbait ships (whether or not they actually are queerbait) it’s usually ships where the characters are largely viewed as bisexual. A lot of times this also comes with pushback from both straight and to be frank, other queer fans as well. Straight fans don’t always see the signs that queer fans do, so to them a queer character who hasn’t been explicitly clear from the start comes out of nowhere. And what I’ve seen from certain queer fans are concerns that people aren’t appreciating the canon queer characters in a show - and I think there is a conversation to be had about that, but I don’t think the response should also be about then demanding less representation for people either. 

If we go back to 911, people talk a lot about how it has canon queer characters, which it definitely does - Michael, Hen, Josh, Karen, and David are all canonically gay/lesbian and that’s awesome, and we absolutely should talk about fans (white fans in particular) ignoring these characters. It also does not change the fact that none of these characters are bisexual and that is the representation people are looking for. Both of these things are true - these characters are often under appreciated in canon AND people deserve bisexual representation. They don’t contradict each other and to act like one negates the other does a huge disservice.

And even if a character was made bisexual in the canon text we don’t get that slowburn. This may be true for things like Leverage, or LOK, but there’s also a real fact of censorship that affected these shows and the fact that general audiences may not understand the queer text tjat the writers intended. It doesn’t make the writing any less wonderful or the ships any less poignant or beautiful or important, and there’s ofc shows like She Ra that made this more obvious (or the.....mess that was Supernatural that made it. Half true?) but these are still real things that should be acknowledged on why people are so hesitant to call it slowburn - because it’s something most queer fans haven’t SEEN DONE, because m/f ships will get that care for slowburn when it’s done but it’s not done for m/m or f/f ships in that same capacity.

2. What queerbait is

This one’s fun because I don’t think many people understand what it is, but queerbait is very dependent on the intentions of the writers/creators/etc. - which tbh can be hard to gauge, because a genuine intention that ended up not happening or someone baiting fans or someone trying to support all ships and not be rude all have very different intentions but to a fan who only sees bits and pieces of this person on social media, it can be hard to gauge.

Honestly with how much the 4th wall gets broken because of social media now I’d personally say we’ve probably moved into a different definition of queerbait - unintentional vs intentional - because we’re at a point where a show knows what ships are popular and at what level of excitement fans are for it - but that being said, there’s still a clear spectrum of intent. And imo? I don’t think 911 has that intent of queerbait - whether it’s a slowburn or they have a different vision for buddie that I (probably) won’t agree with remains to be seen, but this show usually treats its storylines with care. Are they perfect at it? No, definitely not, I definitely think that they’ve dropped the ball a few times (especially with just how many characters they have lmao), but they also clearly do their storylines with earnest and with genuine care for these characters.

Is 911 getting them together? I want to say yes. I don’t think this was always the plan, just something that they decided along the way, but I also don’t think that changes anything about the ship. A lot of people point to Tim Minear being vague about the ship, or the actors and their interpretations, but 1. We have no idea what they’ve been told about Buddie moving forward and 2. No show runner is going to spoil their show that much. 911 may be keeping quiet because they have a different plan for buddie, sure, but also maybe because they’re still figuring out how exactly they want to do this and/or they want to make this slowburn and don’t want to give it away.

3. Slowburn in procedurals

I feel like this is something that procedurals have started shying away from, but slowburns used to be very common - Bones, Castle, their ships didn’t get together for literal years, but that’s just not something that many shows do nowadays, even for m/f ships. Even things like Deckerstar will have the characters get together after ~3 seasons and explore the relationship onwards, whereas a few years ago, y ou’d pr obably be watching a sh ow and it’d take them 7 seasons to get together. My assumption for this is that shows are afraid  of getting canceled, but there’s been a pretty big shift in getting a couple together after say, 6 seasons to now getting them together about halfway through the show. I don’t think either one is bad or good - in good writers’ hands, either can be amazing - but that shift has made it so that a lot of younger fans in particular, I think, don’t fully recognize slowburn when they see it.

911 as a show tends to run pretty fast - it kind of has to with its depth of characters they have - but when they do have slower running storylines they really do make use of that as well. Bobby’s addiction is something that’s always going to be present in his character, May’s suicide attempt was brought up again front and center after 3 seasons, even Chim’s dynamic with the Lees was brought up again and it was reinforced again that they’re his family. There are certain storylines that have to be continuous and aren’t a one and done type of thing, and that includes Buck and Eddie, especially if you want to establish them as queer to a general audience who doesn’t think about these things.

And honestly, despite my fears, I think they are laying groundwork there. We have Buck learning to be more confident in his relationships, we have Eddie ready to date and learning to follow his own heart, we have Buck and Eddie both establishing that Buck is family and will always be there for Christopher. These are pretty big steps to do for a ship and we’ll obviously have to see how the show goes forward but they’ve already insinuated Eddie and Ana are breaking up, I’m sure Taylor and Buck may last a season and be over, but we do have to see what this next season brings. Do I think they’d say this? No, definitely not.

tl;dr: 

911 is a show with good viewership, but there’s always a possibility they can’t continue with their season and then their promises would feel like a lie. Or they may still be hammering out the details as this season hasn’t been written. Or they may just simply not want to spoil their show,  or they don’t want people criticizing a story before it’s finished, all of these could be reasons. The showrunners, writers, actors, ultimately they owe nothing to us as a fandom to potentially spoil their series, or do something, change it or their schedule for it, and get accused of bait. 

But it also doesn’t change why fans are wary of this storyline either, and I wish people would have more nuance and compassion for fans who are worried about queerbait (whether they think it’s not queerbait and dislike people worrying about it or if they do and are calling people idiots for believing it). There’s a lot of reasons why fans are wary and don’t want to have hope, and it’s not necessarily about 911 specifically as it is a pattern of writing seen in other pieces that have fans worried. These things can all coexist and I wish we as fandom in general could acknowledge that, because pretending that they don’t and criticizing each other/people’s intentions or knowledge when they have certain expectations also doesn’t do much to help.

[rise-above-the-grave]

[smashes down door] who is Bail and why do you like him? I could look it up but I'd rather you gush over him

OH BOY.

So first off, a quick (canon) history lesson: Bail Organa was the Senator and Viceroy (aka Prince Consort) of Alderaan. If you don't know what that means (because old titles are Weird - I'm not judging the only reason I know this is because of this very character), it means that Breha, Bail's wife, is ruling Queen of Alderaan and was the heir to the throne. She married Bail, making him a ruler by marriage, though technically she still held the crown. He, at some point, was also elected Senator of Alderaan, and was Senator leading up to and during The Clone Wars (and after, but we're getting to that).

So Bail, we come to find out, became (best) friends with Padmé Amidala. We see him in a couple of scenes in Attack of the Clones with Padmé, just kinda vibing and making the occasional commentary. We know he stood with her on the Opposition bill (the bill Padmé was nearly killed over at the beginning of AOTC, which was against the formation of a Republic military), though we don't learn much about the rest of his politics until later.

So he's kinda...there, but obvs isn't the focus of the story, and is really just a minor background character. The first real insight we get into Bail is, actually, a really tiny character moment right at the end of AOTC, when Palpatine and some of the Senators are looking down at the Clone troops loading up onto the ship, watching their new military gear up for war.

Bail looks away. While everyone else is staring down at the (slave) army, some of them smiling (like Sheev), some of them just serious, Bail looks away from them and makes this tiny little hand gesture: a simple, closed fist knocking against the banister of the balcony.

It's this, I think, that first piqued my interest in this character. He was the only one not triumphant in that situation. He was the only one who saw things for what they were: a tragedy, and a horror, and that this wasn't something to celebrate but to mourn.

Then we come to Revenge of the Sith, and boy howdy. The man may have like 10 minutes of screen time, but does he make those 10 minutes count!

A quick bullet point of the Important Things Bail Does in ROTS:

When the Jedi Temple is burning, what does Bail do? He flies to it to figure out what's going on and see if he can save anyone. He then watches as a youngling is shot and killed by Clone Troopers, and manages to escape because he's a fucking badass.

Please note, to our knowledge, Bail is the only one who actually goes to check on the Jedi Temple.

As soon as he escapes the Temple, Bail immediately - like immediately - takes his ship and goes to find any surviving Jedi. He is almost certainly the reason both Yoda and Obi-Wan don't walk into the trap that is the Jedi Temple, or are captured - and even if that's not true, he most definitely is the reason they manage to sneak safely onto Coruscant and figure out what happened.

He's the one who rescues Yoda (again) after Yoda's failed duel with Palpatine in the Senate. Which, let me rant about the SYMBOLISM of that for a second please. Because holy shit, the entire duel between Yoda and Palpatine takes place in the Senate, with the Senate building and pods. Here Palpatine proves to Yoda that yes, he is the Senate, he controls it, the new Empire is under his control and no one can stop him. But then - but then - Yoda escapes, and who saves him? Bail. Bail sneaks in with a speeder, saves Yoda, and gets him back to safety. Which is such a huge fucking metaphor for the fact that Bail will be the one who, ultimately, is responsible for Palpatine's defeat. But, more on that later.

Bail is there when Padmé (remember, his best friend) gives birth to Luke and Leia. Bail is literally one of 3 sentients in the galaxy who canonically knows about both Luke and Leia.

Bail instantly offers to adopt one of the children, saying "She will be loved with us." (And then she absolutely is.)

And he does all of that in line 10 minutes of screen time.

He shows up again briefly in Star Wars Rebels, and again in Rogue One, but I'm going to take a trip down a side alley here into a territory that is grossly unused in the SW EU: the founding of the Rebellion.

So we don't actually know much about how the Rebellion got started. What we do know is that Bail was one of the (if not the main) Founders. Bail was the mastermind behind the Rebellion, by all accounts knowing...everything about it: who was who, who did what, where they were located, etc. He knows (and controls) Fulcrum in Rebels, as just one example, and Fulcrum is considered by that text to be one of the most powerful Rebel operatives at the time. In Rogue One (regardless of whether you liked what they did with the Rebellion which, side note, I did not), we see he certainly has a position of great authority and power. People respect him, and listen to him, and he's on an even footing with Mon Mothma (or Mom Mothma as my autocorrect tried to say) who is canonically one of the most powerful people in the Rebellion, according to ROTJ.

More than what he did, though, we can look to his character as a reason I love him. He is a good, kind, honorable man who does (or at least tries) his best. We see again and again, throughout all of SW media he's in, that he consistently chooses the right path, regardless of whether or not it's the easy one. He fights corruption, fights for justice, fights for freedom, fights against tyranny.

He is also, canonically, an amazing father and (according to EU content, since Breha literally doesn't have a spoken line in any media content) an incredible husband. We know he's well-loved by his people, and by the Rebellion, by the extraneous texts and mentions about him in the wake of his death on Alderaan. He's also respected by many Senators during his time in the Clone Wars (Padmé makes a comment in a TCW episode about how he's the best and most respected speaker and Senator she knows), and regardless of how people felt about him after the Rise of the Empire (which is, unfortunately - or fortunately maybe, because I don't trust Disney to do it right - up to headcanon), the fact remains that Bail played an incredibly tricky position as an Imperial Senator, having to balance fighting for his people, the people of the galaxy, and setting up the Rebellion, with not making himself too much of a nuisance, or too much of a traitor, that Palpatine straight up had him executed.

Which, speaking of that, can we also take a moment to appreciate the fact that Bail knew almost every single secret that Palpatine and Vader wanted??? He knew where Obi-Wan was, and possibly where Yoda was. He knew where both of Anakin and Padmé's children were. He knew everything about the fledgling Rebellion. Like...that man, had he been captured and interrogated (and had he broken) would have damned the entire galaxy. Yet he never was. He played his cards perfectly, and was either never suspected, or was able to somehow hide all of the information they wanted to know from being found. Personally, I suspect a mixture of the two.

Furthermore, Bail Organa is a great father and husband. He is directly responsible for Leia being the amazing woman we know and love. The one shot we get of Breha, you can practically see and feel the love and adoration Bail has for her radiating off of him through the screen. Literally the most unproblematic ship in Star Wars. I have never seen a single person say they aren't amazing (unless they just want to break them up to make Bail gay? Which, come on, bisexual and polyamorous people exist, y'all. But that's a talk for another time).

If you're still not convinced, the only thing left that I can say is: I'm a raging lesbian and like, while I definitely wouldn't fuck him, Bail/Jimmy Smits (his actor) is handsome. Have some pictures that I have saved on my phone for when I'm feeling sad.

Tl;dr: Bail Organa is singlehandedly responsible for putting into motion the events that secure the galaxy's freedom, not only by being one of the founding fathers of the Rebellion, but also by reaching Yoda and Obi-Wan before the new Empire can, and getting them safely to Coruscant. He is a good, kind, and noble man who does his best in shitty times, and even if he has to make hard choices, he always makes them for the right reasons. He is a loving father, husband, and ruler, who does right by his people and his family. He fights for what's right, even when that fight is nearly impossible. He's a badass, and arguably a literal genius (you'd have to be, to do the kinds of things he does in canon).

Anyway, Bail Organa is great and I love him - and you should too.

[hoodlessmads]

Thoughts on Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka Vol. 3

I finally finished the Sayaka light novels and I really enjoyed them. They’re not high art but they don’t have to be. I just love Sayaka.

It’s been long time since I’ve engaged with Bloom Into You (basically since the manga ended) and reading these novels has given me a chance to remember how much I love the characters. Especially the titular character herself. (Well, technically Touko is my favorite character in Bloom Into You, but that’s a given since my favorites are always the emo disasters. Otherwise, the best character is obviously Sayaka.)

Why is Sayaka so great anyway? A lot of reasons, I think. I love her in the manga, but these novels really bring out her likable qualities by putting us in her head. Hitoma Iruma’s first-person Sayaka is exquisitely spot on and if you like Sayaka, it’s bound to be a joy to read just for that alone. I love how overly serious and reserved Sayaka is, traits that she has had since childhood but that have been compounded after experiencing multiple heartbreaks. But also how she constantly tries to be brave and change herself, even when she fails at doing so out of fear. And I love how lowkey judgy and snobby she is. But actually, at her core, Sayaka is just a very soft, kind, and good girl (Best Girl) who craves being loved and appreciated, whether she realizes it or not. She needs someone to break through that reserved shell. I just want someone to give her a hug all the time and love her.

Which brings me to the third novel, which was a joy to read simply because someone actually loves and appreciates Sayaka (romantically) in it. I feel pretty ambivalent about Haru as a character, but I’m okay with that because all I really care about is that she loves Sayaka. Well, appreciates her, at least. Here we have a character that finally fawns over Sayaka the way she has always deserved, damn it.

I know that Haru’s personality is really different from Yuu’s, but literally every time I looked at the illustrations of her I swear I could not see a different character. My brain was just like, “Yuu,” every time. Was that intentional, Nakatani-sensei? Was it? Because no one ever points out that the two of them look alike in the book itself, which makes me think she wasn’t intended to look like Yuu necessarily and Nakatani Nio designed her that way after the fact. I’m probably wrong. But like. Did they really just slyly ignore the glaring similarity in their appearance? Why does she look like Yuu anyway? Was Nakatani Nio trying to troll us, ship tease us, hint at something, or did she just have a hard time coming up with a more original design? (That last one, I doubt.) Plus there were literally multiple instances in this book where characters insinuate that there’s some kind of a thing between Sayaka and Yuu. Sayaka vehemently denies it both times, but it all feels a little “she doth protest too much” to me. I SWEAR TO GOD, STOP TEASING ME. I ship Sayaka and Yuu a lil bit so the ship tease is sending me.

I think one of the reasons I found it hard to differentiate between Haru and Yuu is not just her appearance, but the fact that I don’t feel like we ever get to know that much about her. In Bloom Into You, the relationships are so compelling because we really get to know them, their fears, their flaws, their regrets, their quirks. We don’t really get to know much about Haru except that she’s a lesbian, that she likes Sayaka, and that she’s a hyperactive go-getter. Granted, a light novel offers a lot less room to develop an original character, but still. The novel was 225 pages and focuses entirely on the two of them. I think there was plenty of room.

Also, Haru herself never really gives us much information about why she likes Sayaka other than that she likes her face, which is a funny running gag in the series, but still. The whole point of this novel, for me, was that I wanted someone to appreciate Sayaka for who she is. I think it’s clear that Haru does like Sayaka for her personality and not just her looks, but I wanted to know more about that. Since the novel doesn’t really explore the things they like about each other very much, it doesn’t make for a very compelling relationship, in my opinion.

But again, Sayaka is happy, she has a girlfriend, Haru likes her, all is well.

The second volume of this series gave me a newfound appreciation for Sayaka and Touko’s friendship, which is often fraught in the manga and gives off an impression that the two of them could never get closer because they didn’t really understand each other. A sort of genuine-ingenuine friendship. But reading that novel, I was able to look back on the manga with a new view of their relationship. They really did care about each other and they were genuinely close. If not for that unfortunate unrequited love situation, they could have really been best friends.

I was happy to see their friendship continue in the third novel, even though it makes me really sad to have it implied that their relationship has sort of concluded. I think it was a well-done conclusion, for what it’s worth. As sad as it makes me, it feels appropriate that their friendship would pretty much fade after this point. Sometimes things that are said can’t be unsaid, things are too awkward, and too many scars remain. It’s just how it is. Everyone goes through changing and fading relationships at some point.

I think it’s funny and so very Sayaka that she’s been dating Haru for like...eight months or something by the end of the novel and she’s still like, “No, no, it’s way too soon for sex, that would be so indecent!” and meanwhile Touko and Yuu went at it like basically right away. I find it hilarious to imagine Sayaka’s reaction to this. She would be so scandalized. 

Actually, there were several moments in the third novel where I really felt like Sayaka’s situation mirrored Yuu’s with regards to having someone confess to them and not really being sure how they felt about it but not outright rejecting it either. Their situation was uncannily similar, in fact, and I thought Sayaka really could have used talking to Yuu about it and getting her perspective. But then I realized that Sayaka still doesn’t know like, basically anything about Yuu and Touko’s relationship, and I get the vibe that that is intentional on her part. You can tell by the end of the novel, post-Haru, Sayaka is feeling much more comfortable with the idea of knowing things Yuu and Touko’s intimate relationship, but up until then she is understandably extremely sore about it. If she found out what Yuu and Touko had actually been up to during that period when she was still gathering the courage to confess, and found out that they had actually been involved for way longer than she realized, like all through her second year of high school, I’m sure that would sting like hell.

I think that’s it for my thoughts. It was fun seeing some of the other characters besides Sayaka post-series, if only briefly. Being greedy, I wish that Sayaka got better than Dollar Tree Yuu as a love interest (like really? she has to get the discount version of Touko’s love interest? jk) but I like Haru well enough, and I think these novels are well-written overall. Having Sayaka find the happiness she has always wanted with her a girl who genuinely loves her is the best way to conclude the Bloom Into You franchise that I could think of. A very satisfying send-off.

Of course, when I say conclusion to the franchise, I do mean not counting the SECOND SEASON OF THE ANIME ARE YOU READING THIS TROYCA HEY WAIT DON’T IGNORE ME YOU CAN’T IGNORE THIS WHERE IS SEASON 2 DON’T BLOCK ME I KNOW YOu’RE MA

[swiftgronmasterpost]

Winter 2013 - The Beginning of the End and Dianna’s Private Tumblr

January 4, 2013 - Haylor Breakup

Taylor and Harry publicly split and leave us with this iconic picture:

January 10, 2013 - People’s Choice Awards

Haylor is done, Harry is back in the UK, but Taylor shows up with a hickey anyway.  (Dianna is in LA at this time.)

Some time this month Taylor writes How You Get The Girl which is about obviously someone who comes back to get the girl.  She references “standing in the rain” and “a long six months.”  It’s hard to know if these details are more “fanfic” or actual autobiographical details.

This six months may actually refer to the end of bearding for a while (because it seems like Swiftgron did reunite in Paris in early October.)  Exactly six months after Taylor started dating Conor Kennedy would be January 25th, 2013.

As for the rain...

It rained twice in LA this month according to weather reports on the 21st and on the 23rd:

Dianna is in LA at this point and has started a private Tumblr blog under the name whosirmesir (we verified it was hers over on @swiftgron-get-married - and you can click here for more on that if you’re curious and actually I did an entire podcast episode walking people through it if you’re like like to listen to an in depth breakdown of it click here for apple OR click here for spotify OR click here for google.  

I also recommend searching the whosirmesir tag on @swiftgron-get-married​ because we’ve logged a lot of interesting moments and connections to Taylor (quotes, art, and other items that tie DIanna and Taylor together.)

On the private tumblr on January 25th Dianna reblogs this:

It reads “i think we’re just gonna have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that...”

This is also the time period it is rumored that Dianna proposed to Taylor.  I’m not sure what to make of these rumors.  I have not been able to get anywhere near confirming them.  It’s entirely unsubstantiated - but I explored the rumor further in this blog post (click for link.)  And also on the podcast (will link just a bit down in this post because it relates to something else we’re about to discuss.)

February 4, 2013 - Dianna recommends “Far Nearer” by Jaime on twitter:

The lyrics are essentially:

“I feel better when I, you feel better when I I feel better when I have you near me

You Me You I do, I do, I do“

repeated over and over again

February 9, 2013 - Neruda quote on Tumblr from Dianna

Dianna posts a quote to Tumblr.  The translation is, “I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.”

It’s worth noting that Taylor namechecked Neruda in the Red album booklet.

February 10, 2013 - The Grammys

Dianna wants to make sure everyone is watching:

And Taylor posts:

“Look what happened! :)”

She won for Safe and Sound:

And she performs her circus themed rendition of WANEGBT (where she mocks Harry Styles on stage making fun of his accent when she sings the “so he calls me up on the phone” part of the song even though this song was written before she was even with him.)

The only other time Dianna tweeted about the Grammys was when Glee was involved the year before.

February 14, 2013 - Achele breakfast and The Inside Source at Glee Tweet

According to a Facebook user Cory, Dianna, and Lea have breakfast this morning (or around this time):

Later that day Taylor posts the infamous tweet:

The Glee Episode “I Do” airs and there is no Taylor song included.  However Dianna and Naya’s characters hook up:

After the episode airs Taylor deletes her tweet.

As always I’m not entirely sure what to make of this but to me it boils down to three possibilities:

1.  The fandom seems to think this proves that Dianna purposefully tricked Taylor into watching her “hook up” with Naya on screen.  It’s completely possible that that’s the case but I think the next two options make a bit more sense.

2.  It was a simple misunderstanding or a joke gone wrong.  Taylor had a song earlier on that season of glee (Mine sung as a breakup song by Naya) and I have been told another song of Taylor’s was marketed for another glee episode later that spring.  Perhaps someone got their wires crossed and misinformed Taylor.  

3.  Other nefarious parties:  

a.  It’s possible that Lea was behind this - she publicly had beef with Taylor at one point and she had been with Dianna that morning.  Maybe she met up with DIanna, heard about Swiftgron being happy and back together and got a little jealous and decided to prank Taylor.  

b.  Ryan Murphy also seemed to despise both Dianna and Taylor around this time.  He was also famous for stirring up drama with Gleeks on twitter and generally sewing discontent (particularly surrounding wlw ships and fans).  Ryan seems to have a problem with women/lesbians in general.  He treated Brittana as a couple horribly on Glee as well as their shippers.

He very publicly shaded Taylor in season one of Scream Queens and said in an interview that Dianna ruined Quinn for him because he said she made her sympathetic. 

Not only that but in season 3 he destroyed her character - he made her have a mental breakdown - he had her try and steal a baby - he had her get hit by a car - and a huge plotline in season 3 was Quinn begging Rachel (Lea’s character so Dianna’s irl ex) not to marry Finn (played by Cory - literally the guy Lea chose Dianna over - this is like...emotionally abusive if you ask me.)  After season 3 Dianna only appeared in 8 episodes of the remaining 55 after being in every episode and the top third billed of the cast in the first three seasons.

Furthermore in a show called The New Normal there was a bitchy actress character named Brynn who he wrote as high maintenance and unpleasant and then killed off.

So yeah...seems fair to at least consider that Ryan or Lea who publicly had problems with both Taylor and Dianna may have been trying to create problems for Swiftgron.  One last note about Lea - there was not a single Achele interaction for the entire year of 2013.  The most we got was Dianna liking a tweet about Lea’s album in December 2013 and when asked about one another in interviews they would vaguely say they were still friends.  No tweets to one another, no birthday messages, no candids, no hang outs.  Lea’s book was also written around this time and does not make a single mention of Dianna - her former roommate and “best friend” even though she spends plenty of time talking about others on the Glee cast.

I did a podcast episode on both the proposal rumors and the inside source at Glee tweet if you want more extensive takes on that!

While I’m not entirely sure Dianna had anything to do with this tweet Taylor references this date (2-14-13) by putting it on a dollar bill as a serial number in The Man music video:

At any rate Taylor deletes the tweet and replaces it with one about her dancers:

Dianna tweets 9 hearts that day (I don’t know if that’s significant but if they were together from March 2012 to July 2012 and then October 2012 to this point it would mean 9 months together...)

February 19, 2013 - Sad Charlie Brown Tumblr post from Dianna:

February 27, 2013 - Fitzgerald quote

Taylor listed this as a quote to live by in an interview with Marie Claire a few months later.

I’m not sure if it’s important but Dianna is very quiet this winter and spring in terms of showing up at events, parties, even being papped out on the street compared to other years around this time.  She seems to disappear a bit.

February 27, 2013 - Taylor gives a bday shoutout to her Fiddle player Caitlin:

“Happy Birthday to my magical friend, fiddle extraordinaire @/caitlinbird” 

March 12, 2013 - Weird tweets from Dianna “One of those days.”

March 13, 2013 - It’s the first day of the Red tour (is that why Dianna had questions?)

About the Red Tour - the last act of the tour seems to be circus themed which may have been inspired by Dianna’s 26th birthday the previous year and really interestingly Taylor has a white rabbit, which is a reference to Alice in Wonderland (Dianna’s favorite piece of media ever) follows Taylor around stage during the WANEGBT performance as she’s dressed up like a circus ringleader:

March 18, 2013 - Dianna goes on a Girls HBO rant (we know who also loved Girls the show and its creator Lena Dunham (Taylor))

End of March - Lena and Ashley show up at the Red Tour backstage

Conclusion - Swiftgron is on but completely underground.  Dianna is blogging and tweeting romantic things about missing girls, Taylor’s interests, and secret love, all while watching Taylor perform at the Grammys and encouraging others to tune in.  Something weird happened with the inside source at Glee tweet but who knows what.  Dianna seems a bit restless and emo while Taylor leaves to go on tour.

Click here to keep reading!

[missjanjie]

Better Than Revenge | Chapter 3

Title: Better Than Revenge Summary: Karma Inc.’s business structure is simple - clients hire them when they’ve been grievously wronged and they send one of their revenge mercenaries to right them. As painstaking as their efforts to remain ethical may be, that may be tested when former detective, Rosé, enlists the squad to pick up where she couldn’t on a much higher scale, with potentially greater consequences. Word Count: ~2.7k (this chapter) | ~8k (total) Relationship(s): Rosnali (Rosé/Denali Foxx), Jankie (Jackie Cox/Jan Sport), Halldoll (Nicky Doll/Jaida Essence Hall), Gimone (Gigi Goode/Symone), Gottlux (Gottmik/Olivia Lux) Rating: T

Read on AO3 | Ko-Fi

Chapter Summary: Rosé learns Gigi, Symone, and Denali's revenge origin stories

-

Woodstock, IL — 2016

Gigi took a deep breath as she stared at herself in the mirror. She could do this, it was fine. Every time her suspicions or confusion would bubble up, she forced them back down. Hannah was nice, she was different from the other popular girls. She didn’t see the ‘weird art lesbian’ with the braces and thick-rimmed glasses, who rarely got pop culture references post-1989, at least, that’s how she made her feel.

“I’ll text you in the morning,” she assured her mother as she threw her bag over her shoulder. “It’ll be fine, I’m just hanging out with a friend.” She was out to her mom, of course, that was her biggest ally. But she wasn’t ready to tell her that the head cheerleader had taken an interest in her. Maybe when and if they became official. Until then, she shook off the last of her nerves and drove to her house, only pulled from her thoughts by the time she was sitting on Hannah’s bed.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” Hannah cooed, batting her lashes and resting her hand on Gigi’s thigh.

If Gigi hadn’t been so blinded by her crush, she might’ve thought Hannah was laying it on a little thick, but she couldn’t act like she didn’t enjoy the attention. “Me too, a-about you, I mean. Sorry, I’m just nervous…”

“How come? I didn’t come on too strong over text, did I?”

“No, no I liked it, it’s just… I’m a virgin, like, I’ve only ever kissed before,” she confessed, her cheeks flushing rosy pink. She had talked a big game over text, but being faced with the chance of starting a physical relationship brought her back to reality.

Hannah pouted, rubbing Gigi’s thigh as she thought, letting her hand inch higher. “Well, you’ve got fantasies, don’t you? I know you’ve masturbated before. What do you think about while you touch yourself?”

Gigi hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip. The other girl wasn’t wrong, she did know what she liked, could conjure up vivid imagery to get herself aroused, but she had never said any of it out loud. “I like powerful, confident women. I guess that’s something that drew me to you,” she started, “I wanna just… give up control, be dominated.”

“Really? Tell me more,” Hannah prompted, kissing along her neck and jaw and slowly tugging Gigi’s shirt off in an attempt to coax her to continue.

When Hannah didn’t seem deterred by her confession, Gigi started to relax. “It’s just, I don’t know, I always feel the need to be in control of my life and with sex, I just wanna let go and give up that power.”

“So like, what would you want someone to do to you?” she asked, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.

She bit down on her lip. “Um… tie me up, spank me, choke me, and I know it’s kind of intense but maybe something like cnc or—” the incessant buzzing of her phone distracted her and, concerned it might be an urgent call or text from home, she took her phone out. “Sorry, one sec.”

It wasn’t from home, she had two missed calls from her best friend, Crystal, followed by several texts.

Crystal: GIGI STOP Crystal: SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Crystal: She’s broadcasting you on IG live! Crystal: We can see and hear everything…

Gigi’s face fell, her first instinct to pull her shirt back on. Then she slowly looked up and in front of her, that’s when she saw it, nestled between stuffed animals — Hannah’s phone with an instagram live going. She didn’t say anything, just ran out of the house as fast as her legs would take her and through her tears drove right to Crystal’s house. That was when the two of them formed their plot.

In and of itself, it was simple. Gigi waited one day until Hannah was away for a cheer competition and went to her house. “I’m so sorry to bother you, Mrs. Andrews, but I think I left some of my homework in Hannah’s room, she just said to let you know so I can run in and grab it.” Once inside, she found exactly what she was looking for, sliding Hannah’s diary into her backpack and went right back out.

“This feels very Mean Girls, I love it,” Crystal remarked as they taped page after page of the diary on lockers, walls, anywhere they could.

“Well, plan B was to go the Heathers route, so let’s just hope it works.”

And to say it worked was an understatement. As it turned out, Hannah had written things far more incriminating, and because it came from someone of her social ranking, it made everyone immediately lose interest in Gigi’s livestream scandal, and she graduated with the anonymity she needed for survival.

Present Day

“I’ll be honest with you,” Rosé remarked, “it’s kinda hard to picture you as an ugly duckling, especially the way you described it.” Gigi was too pretty, too perfect. Something didn’t add up.

Gigi got out her phone and scrolled through her photos until she found one from her senior year. “Believe it, doll,” she said as she held her phone up. She watched with an amused expression as Rosé looked from her phone, to her, and back with her eyes wide and mouth agape. “Braces off, lasik, learned a lot about how to dress while going to FIDM, which is where I met Symone, who helped fill in the blanks.”

“And made sure she got to do all them things she listed to that bitch without feeling ashamed about it,” Symone added with a smirk, draping her arm around Gigi and pulling her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Why don’t you tell her your story next, baby?” Gigi prompted.

Conway, AR — 2014

Symone watched her sister throw her bag over her shoulder and start to sneak out the window. “Look, I ain’t snitching or nothing, but I still don’t think this is a good idea.”

She and her sister, Lala, were close, sometimes referring to themselves as twins – they were only ten months apart, in the same grade at school. And until the summer after sophomore year, they had the same group of friends. But the crowd Lala ran with now just rubbed her the wrong way.

“You worry too much,” Lala brushed it off. “I’ll be fine, in bed by morning like nothing happened.”

But when Symone got a collect call two hours later, she found out things were far from fine. She drove down to the county jail as fast as she could without getting pulled over herself. Luckily bail was a mere fifty dollars, but once she got her sister back in the car, she looked at her incredulously. “What the fuck happened?”

“One of ‘em brought weed, another brought booze, but when the cops rolled up on us, they said it all was mine. And who was they gonna believe, me or three white kids?” Lala sniffled, wiping her eyes. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me,” she whispered.

“I don’t either,” Symone admitted quietly, frustrated at her inability to come up with an immediate solution. “But we’re gonna do our best to get you out of this, okay?”

The best they could do wasn’t easy. It involved a lot of legal maneuvering, meetings with one person in a suit after another. The end result wasn’t ideal, but it was far better than what could have been. Lala was fined three hundred dollars and put on thirty days of probation. In and of itself, it didn’t seem so bad, but the residual consequences took their toll.

“I lost my scholarship, ‘mone. That was my ticket into college,” Lala sighed. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know I’m getting off with a slap on the wrist, but I really ain’t thrilled about taking out student loans,” she sat down on the floor beside the bed, head leaning against it. “Or maybe I’ll start with community college, I dunno. It just fucking sucks that they all got off with warnings.”

Symone’s brows knitted together, her lips pressed into a fine line. “Don’t you worry baby,” she said after a moment, “they gon’ face consequences one way or another.”

It had taken most of spring break, but Symone finally had all of the pieces for her plan. “Not the most convoluted thing in the world, but it’ll get the job done,” she mused.

Lala looked at her sister, then at her desk and back. “Do I even wanna know where the hell you got coke from?”

“No, you do not.”

Getting the drugs was the hard part. Getting into school early to plant the drugs in the lockers of Lala’s former friends was far easier, as was leaving an ‘anonymous tip’ from a ‘concerned student’ on the principal’s desk.

“God, I wish I could’ve seen them get hauled off in cop cars,” Lala remarked as she and Symone drove home from school. The three students were quietly escorted out of class and arrested, the school wanting to bring as little attention as possible. “Shame that they rich daddies will still get them off lightly.”

Symone sighed and nodded. “Sure, but they’re still gonna get something, which is more than what they got when they threw you under the bus. Bet they’re gonna think twice before they let someone else take the fall for them.”

Her sister smiled softly and shook her head. “You really ain’t gotta do all that for me, you know?”

“I know,” she hummed, “not gonna stop me, though.”

Present Day

“Wow, that’s both selfless and hardcore,” Rosé remarked with an impressed nod. “Did she ever find out where you got the coke from?”

Symone laughed and shook her head. “Nah, that secret I’m taking to the grave.”

Rosé jokingly put her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay, fair enough,” she chuckled. After a moment, she turned her attention to Denali. “That just leaves you, princess,” she remarked, a slight smirk tugging at her lips. “What’s your claim to infamy?”

Denali tossed her hair off her shoulder and grinned softly. “Who, me?” she cooed, fluttering her lashes. “Well, it is kind of an interesting story…”

Nicky rolled her eyes and tossed one of the couch pillows at her head. “Stop flirting and get on with it already.”

Fairbanks, AK — 2011

Denali groaned when the sound of loud footsteps racing up the stairs pulled her from her quasi-asleep state, then pulled a pillow over her head when the door swung open.

“What the hell are you still doing in bed when the qualifiers are in two hours?” her friend, Kahmora, asked with incredulous horror. She yanked the covers off of her, but stepped back in concern when she finally caught sight of Denali’s face. “Oh god, you look like shit.”

She frowned and rolled over to face away from her. “I feel like I died and was in the process of being reanimated, then killed again,” she lamented. “It’s probably food poisoning… or maybe swine flu came back, I dunno.”

“Did you eat anything unusual?”

Denali furrowed her brows as she wracked her brain. “I mean, Tara gave me those brownies and I had one, but when she said they were ‘special’, I just thought she meant they had weed in them, but that sure as hell isn’t it.” With as much energy as she could muster, she sat upright. “Oh my god, do you think she poisoned me?”

Kahmora arched her brow. “I think that’s a bit much, even for her. Do I think she put something like a laxative in there so it’d take you out long enough that you couldn’t beat her out in the international qualifiers? Yeah, probably. She’s a cunt.”

The skater scowled, her jaw clenched. “She’s a dead cunt,” she corrected, then suddenly shot out of bed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she muttered as she raced to the bathroom yet again.

There wasn’t an obvious revenge plan for Denali. She knew that nothing she did would get her spot in the competition, and she wondered if it was even worth it. But her pettiness and spite won out and she began planning out her course of action.

“Remember,” she was saying, “if all else fails, we go the Tonya Harding route.”

Kahmora sighed. “For the last time, you are not whacking Tara’s kneecaps, now let’s go.” Despite some pouting from Denali, they went to get the gears turning in their plan. They got to the ice rink and slipped into the locker room without being noticed by Tara, who was in the middle of practice.

Denali picked the lock and took out Tara’s change of clothes. Then she reached into her own bag and pulled on latex gloves and a plastic bag containing several leaves of poison ivy. She turned the shirt, pants, and socks inside out and firmly rubbed the leaves against the fabric, making sure she left as little fabric uncovered as possible. “She’s lucky I’m merciful or I’d rub it on her panties too,” she remarked offhandedly.

Kahmora tilted her head as she watched her. “Do you actually think it’ll take her out of the competition?” she asked as her friend put the leaves and gloves into the ziploc bag.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I mean, it’s possible, probable really, that the constant itching might make it too difficult for her to skate. But this is more about getting even with her. I might not ever get another chance to compete for internationals. She’s lucky the only retribution she’s getting is a few weeks of itchy blisters.”

“Otherwise you’d Tonya Harding her?”

Denali nodded brightly. “Exactly! Now come on, we have to get rid of the evidence.” And with that, they scurried out of the locker room as inconspicuously as they’d entered it and threw out the evidence in a trash can several blocks over.

When the news broke that Tara had withdrawn from the competition due to ‘unexpected physical problems’, Denali did her best to feign shock and didn’t celebrate until she and Kahmora were alone.

“So, what do you wanna do now?” Kahmora asked.

Denali tilted her head in thought, then smirked. “Let’s go get brownies.”

Present Day

“Personally, I still think you should’ve busted her knees,” Mik mused offhandedly. “Like, I bet you would’ve figured out a way to get away with it, you conniving bitch,” he teased.

Denali shrugged. “Maybe, but it’s not very original and it’d look a lot more suspicious on my end.”

“I think it was pretty badass,” Rosé offered, making the other woman smile which, in turn, made her heart flutter — something she chose to actively ignore. Instead, she let all of their stories sink in. None of their reasons for revenge were out of line, none of their victims undeserving. And none of the consequences were as severe as some of the things she had seen in her time. “You all really know what you’re doing, huh?”

“We wouldn’t have been able to keep this up for three years if we didn’t,” Jan replied. “We had all of the potential on our own, but we make a difference together, and then we added Jackie to tie up the loose ends. It’s been smooth sailing from there.”

“Yeah, and now Jackie ties you up instead,” Nicky teased, earning an eye roll in response.

Rosé watched the group interact with a fond smile. She had assumed they all got along to be working together for as long as they have been, but she hadn’t anticipated them truly behaving like a family. It was a stark contrast to the constant coldness and curtness she had grown accustomed to, both in her previous career and in the environment she grew up in. She only hoped it would make the tasks ahead that much easier for them.