#sadly i just cant afford to go right now

[thebraxiatelcollection]

The one year i'm not at Gallifrey One, and they announce Miles Richardson, Andy Lane, Juliet landau and Alex Macqueen. Ahhh.

[princehobi]

OK GUYS IM FEELING PATHETIC ENOUGH AND I CANT AFFORD THERAPY, TUMBLR IS ALL I GOT RIGHT NOW SO

YESTERDAY WHILE I WAS USING TUMBLR I UPDATED A RANDOM POST AND I STARTED GETTING ERROR MESSAGES ON THE SCREEN, LIKE SOMETIMES WOULD HAPPEN BUT THEN I COULDNT REFRESH ANYTHING, MY BLOG LOOKS LIKE THIS FROM MY PHONE

AND WHEN I TRY AND LOG IN FROM A COMPUTER IT SAYS THE ACCOUNT IS TERMINATED

I DIDNT RECEIVED ANY EMAIL, I ALREADY SENT A BUNCH OF EMAILS TO SUPPORT AND I ONLY GET THE INSTANT REPLY THAT THEY WOULD LOOK INTO IT BUT ITS BEEN AROUND 15 HOURS BC THAT WAS LAST NIGHT AND SADLY I AM AN ADULT AND I HAD TO GO TO BED SO I CAN WAKE UP AND GO TO WORK (WHERE IM TYPING THIS FROM RN)

I am really panicking, I've had this account for about 10 years and I really need it back, I'm so sad, I feel stupid and helpless because I really don't know what else to do, reddit and web comments scare me because I really really want to get this back

If you help me I'm gonna .. idk I'll do anything I swear I'm just freaking upset and nervous and I am not joking, I know how this sounds but tumblr has saved me from the worst times of my life so many times, I know I can just make a new account but this one is so old and has a lot of me

[lovethelifeyoulive123]

Sadly Sam is treated like a work horse and won’t be rested tomorrow. Without a real back up (love Charles but she is not it) she will probably be expected to play 90 tomorrow and 90 Wednesday unless they take a significant lead which I don’t see happening in either games. Then days later it’s the Kristie derby 😆, can they rest her then?

Just looking at their schedule plus international break when will she rest? Thank goodness she doesn’t have to fly to Australia for international break.

Yeah but it's so risky right now. She's so close to that WC. I just hope she can stay healthy. I know she's amazing and can play alot of minutes but she can't do it all. I think Hayes has to decide where she wants to win. I know they want it all but honestly I would rest Sam and go all in on CL. They cant afford to go out this year.

Lol😂the Kristie derby. I have to laugh every time I see that. You know who's winning that one😜

[disco-cola]

dudes i need to rant cause yall know this is my online diary so i honestly feel so lost my life has no direction and hasnt had any for the past years and the years just seem to fly by in the blink of an eye and with every year i get more anxious about my birthday and getting older and my lack of achievements well at least if you define achievements by university degrees and work experience which is sadly still the standard instilled in this society and if you struggle with anxiety and or depression and cant function you are worth less (or even worthless) and you constantly need to justify and excuse yourself and the future seems so dull not only bc of my era-struggling™ but because i literally have such a hard time with the vicious cycle of getting a job and being sucked even more into this exploitative capitalistic system (idk what its like where you live but where i live rents have risen beyond any realistic affordability, grocery prices too but work wages and unemployment "benefits" from the state have not and even people working full time living with a partner who is also working full time are struggling to pay their rent and pay for groceries and electricity and make ends meet and for what you would have to work even more than forty hours a week to be able to afford a decent lifestyle as of right now but people are already working and worrying themselves sick to not fall down behind into poverty and get a pension plan which again is the vicious cycle im talking about retirement age will probably get even higher but how are you supposed to even work until at least 67 years old when you already destroy your body and soul decades before that? people are burned out several decades before that and still so many old folks now have worked so hard all their lives to only get such little pension they still need to work despite being sick, or go collect bottles (in countries where you get a few cents for returning plastic bottles at least) or even beg. honestly its sick this cant be the essence of life. it keeps me up at night. i dont wanna do this. i dont want life to be like this. i used to wanna go into the music business so bad when i was like 18 and be a manager or in a band but ever since my era-struggle™ despite the fact i dont like whats mainstream today but i also dont think i could last a day in the fast pace of todays business with social media and cancel culture. i just couldnt. i barely can now from my current position and deleting all social media and getting a nokia or motorola flip phone like i had as a child or a landline phone seems more and more appealing. my old friends are moving into the big city and we are drifting apart. they work so much they dont have time. but i also realize that i am starting to exclude and seclude myself and dont crave much human contact anymore. it honestly drains me. even grocery shopping or walking my dog during daytime drains me at this point. i dont wanna move and live in a big city anymore like other people my age. my suburb is too much for me already. i have fantasies of escaping from here daily. i literally just wanna go move to a small beach or mountain village and open a dog daycare. this is literally the only thing i can see myself doing in the future that does not give me anxiety and makes me wanna run into oncoming traffic.

[hekkoto]

Hello my darklings!

Here I come with lil post with update cause I feel like you deserve to know how things are going and why lately Im barely online

My main issue is my poor mental health, I again struggle with constant, daily suicidal thoughts. Im kinda used to this as I struggle with this since I was teen, when I was kid they werent daily at least. They stopped like 2 or 3 years ago but now they are back. Its really hard to live like this but I try to keep going, no matter how much it hurts. In case you dont know – I suffer from borderline which means Im constantly jumping between very strong emotions and my actions are often reckless. Usually you can see me being super euphoric but also very depressed. Lately those depressive moments started to be very long and harder than usually. Adding awful heatwave we had since few weeks it caused me to be on edge of giving up. Here I want to thank a lot everyone who was leaving nice comments or talking with me and trying to cheer me up, I know it might be tiring that I keep saying Im worthless and such but thats how I feel. Im not used to people being so nice to me, really thank you, you are saving my life. I would love to be able to ask for help but sadly Im not, I feel like Im burden to everyone. Its something I need to work on, it will take some time but sadly for now Im still struggling with this. But Im always super grateful for everything you do <3

In last days I sleep a lot, like up to 18 hours per day, right now Im not sure if thats cause of my chronic fatigue or depressive state. Im also wasting a lot of time watching lets plays from The Binding of Isaac: Repentance cause its my comfort game and it really helps me. So yeah, I barely do anything.

I struggle a lot with substance abuse, starting from overdosing antidepressants constantly just to survive, I also drink and such. Im aware its bad, Im aware that I cross the line but Im doing it to go through those days. I will try my best to limit this when I will feel better, when I wont need this to stay alive.

Here I want to apologize my Patrons, Im so so so sorry that in last months I dont post most of promised stuff and a lot of things are late ;-; and I want to thank you a lot for still being here, I cant express how happy I am. I promise that when I will feel better everything will be on time, I will also give you some bonus for your patience <3

Please, give me some more time to sort things out. I know that the best thing for me now would be therapy but sadly Im not able to afford this. I will ask my psychiatrist to prescribe me therapy so if in some magical way I will have money I will be able to start it. I start to consider asking my parents for this but honestly? They spend 1000PLN every month just on my meds, they also pay for my doctors, from time to time my mom goes with me to do lil shopping of hygienic stuff and home supplies and pays for everything. They also pay for my flat and all the bills. So yeah... they already spend a lot on me and I feel so bad about this and asking for more feels awful. But if this is something I need to stay alive I guess I have to...

My physical health isnt the best too, I suffer from quite bad pains of joints and muscles. I have bigger dose of meds for this but its still not perfect. Also on days when heatwave hits Im kinda trapped in my house, I cant go outside when its super hot cause its dangerous for me

Thanks to your support and my husband's help things arent super bad yet, thankfully I was able to not go back to self harm and my suicidal thoughts are just thoughts an Im not doing anything to actually kill myself. Without you... welp, I would be dead

I plan to use the best my time when Im feeling fine, I wanna draw and record a lot. So yeah, for now I cant promise any time when stuff will be there but I will do it. I will be working on one project which is very important for me, you will see it soon [I hope haha]. Right now I will focus on commissions and stuff for Patrons so if you wait for something from me – it will be there soon <3

Thank you a lot for your patience and love, you are awesome <3 I dont know how long it will take for me to get better but I will keep fighting and hopefully at some point I wont suffer so much. My past was awful and it damaged me a lot, fixing it will be very long and hard but I must stay strong. I will keep fighting and perhaps I will be able to make my dreams come true

Love ya, Hekkoto

[michellemondares]

Memoir

Ma. Michelle Mae Mondares

12-Bookkeeping

April 14, 2006

I was born in April 14, 2006 and my mother named me Maria Michelle Mae Mondares.

When I was a month old, I got sick and my whole skin turns to red. My mother was just crying while holding me because she couldn’t afford to bring me in the hospital due to lack of money. When my grandfather and grandmother arrived at home they saw my mother crying while holding me, they ask what happened and my mother said that I am sick. They look at me with pity in their eyes and they rushed me to the hospital. The doctor said that, thankfully that I was rushed in hospital or else I would die that time because my body wont hold it. I was so thankful back then because through the years I am still alive and thats because god is good. Later on, at my age of 5 to 7 I really love to play sisira ang bulalak-bubukas ang bubulak it is commonly known in philippine as children play. I used to wear colorful dress when I was a kid and I really like to wear high heels because it makes me feel like an adult. I love playing outside of our house in mandaue city and I have a lot of friends in mandaue city, named deo, grace, maxine, love, jessa, and many more. My favorite food back then was fried chicken and I really love to dip it in the ketchup. One day when my grandmonther sell an ice candy I thought that it was for free because im just a kid back then, I called many kids around our neighborhood and gave it to them one by one. I was scolded and I cried because I was clueless and I just want to have many friends back then, but if I think of it right now its kinda funny. One day my father died due to heart attack and I cried so hard because I couldn’t afford to accept right away and in 2017 we moved to lapu-lapu city, I met new people and new friends. In 2018, I started online business on facebook. I sell clothes online and I have many customers and I earned a lot of money around 7,000pesos and I used that money for my school supplies and other personal stuff. In 2019 I graduated in junior high and in 2022 a typhoon occurred again and it hits very hard in Lapu- Lapu city. The typhone called “bagyong odette” that time I cried for mercy because the typhoon that we didnt expect that the typhoon will be so strong. All humanities in Lapu-Lapu city was affected and we lost electricity, some of people lost homes. Every night we used candles for light and a diy fan, I used to go out at night and just staring at the moon because if the night came the road is dark. We suffered at least 2-3months because of “Bagyong odette” we used to go in a lanueva or unitop to use their generator to charge our phones and flashlights. That time it is hard to use cellphones because there is no signal and there’s no electricity, so what I did I read books, paint and play with my sister and cousins. The typhoon occurred when christmas is coming, during christmas all people didnt celebrate I didnt see fireworks. I realized that in december 25, 2022, 98% of people was sad because they lost homes and cant eat properly. After 2-3 months, the electricity came back and we we’re so happy. We start to get back on our feet and start cleaning in our house and I helped my grandmother to clean our house. I learned many lessons when bagyong odette occured because if bagyong odette didn’t occurred we will always focus on our cellphone and we cannot notice what is in our environment, we will not learn how to have a quality time with our families. Bagyong odette thought me that having quality time with your family is the best part of our lives. Right now im currently studying in Asian Learning center, I joined a choir in the school called “glee club” and I practiced singing and playing piano but sadly I quit in the choir because of some reason. But through that I met my new bandmates but we dont have band name for now, I am happy with them and I enjoy every moment if were together. In 2024 I joined a singing contest in our school called “ALCI Global Idol”, I won 1st placer. Also I met a boy, he is so handsome and smarter than me. He asked me if its okay to court me and I said yes! I felt butterflies in my stomach that I haven't experienced in years. Right now Im living the best.

[tardigrade-gaming]

Name? David

Pronouns and Gender? he/him/possibly they idk? guy but starting to think maybe nb ([tumblr] is infecting me 😀)

Sexuality? Bisexual

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? ULTRAKILL, Guilty Gear, TF2, TF | 2, idk what else

Most Forbidden Snack? spicy pillows (expanding lithium batteries)

Would you pet a Bug? If doing so is reasonably safe for both me and the bug, then hell yeah I'd pet a bug!

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class! so for like grades 4-8 I was pretty suspicious that I had ADHD, so every time I brought it up, my parents talked to my teachers at the time, and EVERY TIME they said they didn't think so. grade 9 we eventually just go see a specialist and they feel the need to clarify that I am not only ADHD, but VERY ADHD.

What does the color Blue taste like? Depends on the shade. Dark Blue is like more of a smooth and mildly sweet flavor, but Light Blue, like Cyan? Sour Blue Raspberry, no question.

Most Beautiful Thing You've Ever Seen? Seeing the stars and the night sky over a lake at this one camp I went to in Georgia was lifechanging. I can't remember what park it was, but I was just sitting in a camping chair by the water and I now understand that the creation of the suburb was a mistake.

Stupidest Thing You've Ever Done? there's a lot lmao but a standout is when I was a kid, I cut the top of my head quite bad by falling backwards onto a coffee table, but when I was at the hospital and they were about to close it using staples. They told me not to lay on where the cut was because it would wipe off the numbing cream. I kept doing it though, because otherwise I couldn't see the tv playing Disney's Hercules.

Stupidest Thing You've Ever Seen Someone Else Do/Say? So y'all know how apparently Switch cartridges are coated with an incredibly bitter substance? I had a friend @ school named Jeremiah who popped Smash Bros into his mouth cause he wanted to test it. He IMMEDIATELY spit it out and ran for the water fountain, only to find that water doesn't help. He spent the rest of homeroom just pacing around telling us how bitter it was lol.

Hyperfixation Song? Candy by POSITIVE+

Is there a meaning behind your username/pfp? I created this account a while before the whole migration thing, and I felt like needed a cover for why I didn't know shit about tumblr.

Dream Career as a child? whatever tiny me thought was cool at that moment

Dream Career as an adult? probably either indie game dev or some kinda hardware (reverse) engineer

Thoughts on Cilantro? I have no thoughts on Cilantro.

Have you ever been banned from a location? no, sadly. the spirit is willing, but the mind anxiety is weak.

Cursed Food Combos? Not food, but literally any fruit-related drink and Sprite with about a 2:1 mix. Lemonade? Yep. Fruit punch? Yep. Mango Juice? Absolutely. This applies 2x to anything with cranberry juice.

Trans Rights? HELL YEAH BROTHER/SISTER/ENBY SIBLING!!!

@petzah394 @disincentivized @citrusmillie @typecastofficial @absolute-apathyy @emo-56 @itariver @broccoli-bitching @cant-afford-lobotomy

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[notalwayscommonsense]

Making Showering Easier w/ Executive Dysfunction

On this account we cover how to do things that are "common sense" or generally untaught for the people who dont know. Shame-free. Today, we'll be covering tips to help shower when you struggle with executive dysfunction, a depressive episode or something similar. Executive dysfunction can cause tasks that seem easy and simple for most look insurmountable to people who suffer with it. Sadly, there's no quick fix, but below will be tips on making bathing easier.

Tip 1: Taking away the pressure - A big reason bathing can feel like such a daunting task is because you're looking at the big picture. A list of things you need or feel like you have to do; washing your body, your hair, shaving, going about your regular routine. Simply put, simplify your shower. Gauge what you can manage and cut out the rest. If you can only wash your hair or only wash your body its far better than nothing at all. If you cant do either, just letting the water run over you is enough.

There isnt any hard and fast rules you must follow while showering. You dont have the energy to stand? Then sit. You can invest in a shower stool or just sit right on the floor. "I cant shower, its 3am!" Says who? When motivation strikes, its best to ride that wave no matter what time of day it is. Is the process of getting ready after you shower the daunting part? Pick out comfortable clothes, air dry your hair or even plan to reward yourself afterwards with something you've been wanting to do. Thinking of being able to curl up on the couch comfortable, clean and cozy may strike some motivation.

Tip 2: Make it fun - This tip definitely isnt for everyone, but it may be helpful for some. Try to indulge in some things to make your showers more fun and increase the motivation to do it. Some quick, free things you can do are playing music or even setting your phone or tablet a safe distance away to have your favorite show or movie on in the background. You can even bring a refreshing drink or snack (fruit will never get soggy and you dont need to worry about getting sticky from popsicles!). If you're open to spending some money, there's countless other ways you could increase the motivation to shower. Fancy soaps, body scrubs, fluffy new loofahs, bath bombs or shower steamers can all leave you feeling eager to try them out. Check out the kids section, seriously. Bath tints, bathtub crayons, markers and paint can all be fun for people with a creative side. Tip 3: Dont - If none of these options sound appealing to you, then simply dont shower. There are other ways to freshen up without having to go through all the motions. Using dry shampoo can leave your hair unwashed for longer. Dampen a wash cloth with warm water and wipe down your armpits. Keeping a pack of baby wipes by your bed can help when you feel a spark of motivation. Below will be linked a few more resources and products that could help when you're having trouble. Remember, no matter how hard it may feel right now, things will get easier. Products: Bathtub Markers & Crayons Affordable Shower Speaker B&BW Bath & Shower Products 15 Pack of Shower Steamers Resources: 15 Hygiene Hacks SAMHSA’s National Helpline

[mostlysignssomeportents]

How copyright filters lead to wage-theft

Last week, "Marina" - a piano teacher who publishes free lessons her Piano Keys Youtube channel - celebrated her fifth anniversary by announcing that she was quitting Youtube because her meager wages were being stolen by fraudsters.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcyOxtkafMs

Marina posted a video with a snatch of her performance of Beethoven's "Moonlight Sonata," published in 1801. The composition is firmly in the public domain, and the copyright in the performance is firmly Marina's, but it still triggered Youtube's automated copyright filter.

A corporate entity - identified only by an alphabet soup of initialisms and cryptic LLC names - had claimed Ole Ludwig Van's masterpiece as their own, identifying it as "Wicca Moonlight."

Content ID, the automated Youtube filter, flagged Marina's track as an unauthorized performance of this "Wicca Moonlight" track. Marina appealed the automated judgement, which triggered a message to this shadowy LLC asking if they agreed that no infringement had taken place.

But the LLC renewed its claim of infringement. Marina now faces several unpleasant choices:

She can allow the LLC to monetize her video, stealing the meager wages she receives from the ads that appear on it

She can take down her video

She can provide her full name and address to Youtube in order to escalate the claim, with the possibility that her attackers will get her contact details, and with the risk that if she loses her claim, she can lose her Youtube channel

The incident was a wake-up call for Marina, who is quitting Youtube altogether, noting that it has become a place that favors grifters over creators. She's not wrong, and it's worth looking at how that happened.

Content ID was created to mollify the entertainment industry after Google acquired Youtube. Google would spend $100m on filtering tech that would allow rightsholders to go beyond the simple "takedown" permitted by law, and instead share in revenues from creative uses.

But it's easy to see how this system could be abused. What if people falsely asserted copyright over works to which they had no claim? What if rightsholders rejected fair uses, especially criticism?

In a world where the ownership of creative works can take years to untangle in the courts and where judges' fair use rulings are impossible to predict in advance, how could Google hope to get it right, especially at the vast scale of Youtube?

The impossibility of automating copyright judgments didn't stop Google from trying to perfect its filter, adding layers of complexity until Content ID's appeal process turned into a cod-legal system whose flowchart looks like a bowl of spaghetti.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/12/fairy-use-tale/#content-id

The resulting mess firmly favors attackers (wage stealers, fraudsters, censors, bullies) over defenders (creators, critics). Attackers don't need to waste their time making art, which leaves them with the surplus capacity to master the counterintuitive "legal" framework.

You can't fix a system broke by complexity by adding more complexity to it. Attempts to do so only makes the system more exploitable by bad actors, like blackmailers who use fake copyright claims to extract ransoms from working creators.

https://torrentfreak.com/youtube-strikes-now-being-used-as-scammers-extortion-tool/

But it would be a mistake to think that filterfraud was primarily a problem of shadowy scammers. The most prolific filter scammers and wage-thieves are giant music companies, like Sony Music, who claim nearly *all* classical music:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/22/crisis-for-thee-not-me/#filternet

The Big Tech companies argue that they have an appeals process that can reverse these overclaims, but that process is a joke. Instagram takedowns take a few seconds to file, but *28 months* to appeal.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/17/cheap-truthers/#robot-sez-no

The entertainment industry are flagrant filternet abusers. Take Warner Chappell, whose subsidiary demonetizes videos that include the numbers "36" and "50":

https://www.dexerto.com/entertainment/annemunition-bizarre-copyright-strike-youtube-random-numbers-1317750/

Warner Chappell are prolific copyfraudsters. For decades, they fraudulently claimed ownership over "Happy Birthday" (!):

https://consumerist.com/2016/02/09/happy-birthday-song-settlement-to-pay-out-14-million-to-people-who-paid-to-use-song/

They're still at it - In 2020 they used a fraudulent claim to nuke a music theory video, and then a human being working on behalf of the company renewed the claim *after* being informed that they were mistaken about which song was quoted in the video:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/03/05/warner-chappell-copyfraud/#warnerchappell

The fact that automated copyright claims can remove material from the internet leads to a lot of sheer fuckery. In 2019, anti-fascists toyed with blaring copyrighted music at far right rallies to prevent their enemies from posting them online.

https://memex.craphound.com/2019/07/23/clever-hack-that-will-end-badly-playing-copyrighted-music-during-nazis-rallies-so-they-cant-be-posted-to-youtube/

At the time, I warned that this would end badly. Just a month before, there had been a huge scandal because critics of extremist violence found that automated filters killed their videos because they featured clips of that violence:

https://memex.craphound.com/2019/06/06/people-who-document-evidence-of-violent-extremism-are-being-shut-down-in-youtubes-crackdown-on-violent-extremism/

Since then, it's only gotten worse. The Chinese Communist Party uses copyfraud to remove critical videos from Youtube:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/05/27/literal-gunhumping/#communist-bandit

and so does the Beverley Hills Police Department:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/02/10/duke-sucks/#bhpd

But despite all that, the momentum is for *more* filtering, to remove far fuzzier categories of content. The EU's Terror Regulation has just gone into effect, giving platforms just *one hour* to remove "terrorist" content:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/04/eu-online-terrorism-regulation-bad-deal

The platforms have pivoted from opposing filter rules to endorsing them. Marc Zuckerberg says that he's fine with removing legal protections for online platforms unless they have hundreds of millions of dollars to install filters.

https://pluralistic.net/2021/03/25/facebook-has-a-facebook-problem/#played-for-zuckers

The advocates for a filternet insist that all these problems can be solved if geeks just *nerd harder* to automate good judgment, fair appeals, and accurate attributions. This is pure wishful thinking. As is so often the case in tech policy, "wanting it badly is not enough."

In 2019, the EU passed the Copyright Directive, whose Article1 7 is a "notice and staydown" rule requiring platforms to do instant takedowns on notice of infringement *and* to prevent content from being re-posted.

There's no way to do this without filters, but there's no way to make filters without violating the GDPR. The EU trying to figure out how to make it work, and the people who said this wouldn't require filters are now claiming that filters are fine.

https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/11/protocols-of-qanon/#no-filternet

Automating subtle judgment calls is impossible, not just because copyright's limitations - fair use and others - are grounded in subjective factors like "artistic intent," but because automating a flawed process creates flaws at scale.

Remember when Jimmy Fallon broadcasted himself playing a video game? NBC automatically claimed the whole program as its copyrighted work, and thereafter, gamers who streamed themselves playing that game got automated takedowns from NBC.

https://old.reddit.com/r/beatsaber/comments/bi9cp5/beat_saber_stream_blocked_by_jimmy_fallon_show/

The relentless expansion of proprietary rights over our virtual and physical world raises the stakes for filter errors. The new Notre Dame spire will be a copyrighted work - will filters block videos of protests in front of the cathedral?

https://www.techdirt.com/articles/20190425/09282042084/why-your-holiday-photos-videos-restored-notre-dame-cathedral-could-be-blocked-eus-upload-filters.shtml

And ever since the US's 1976 Copyright Act abolished a registration requirement, it's gotten harder to figure out who controls the rights to any work, so that even the "royalty free" music for Youtubers to safely use turned out to be copyrighted:

https://torrentfreak.com/royalty-free-music-supplied-by-youtube-results-in-mass-video-demonetization-191118/

We need a new deal for content removal, one that favors working creators over wage-thieves who have the time and energy to master the crufty, complex private legal systems each platform grows for itself.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2019/04/content-moderation-broken-let-us-count-ways

Back in 2019, Slate Future Tense commissioned me to write an sf story about how this stuff might work out in the coming years. The result, "Affordances," is sadly still relevant today:

https://slate.com/technology/2019/10/affordances-cory-doctorow-sf-story-algorithmic-bias-facial-recognition.html

Here's a podcast of the story as well:

https://ia803108.us.archive.org/3/items/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_314/Cory_Doctorow_Podcast_314_-Affordances.mp3

Meanwhile, governments from Australia to the UK to Canada are adopting "Harmful Content" rules that are poised to vastly expand the filternet, insisting that it's better than the alternative.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/bill-c10-user-generated-content-1.6007192

[soxcietyy]

Dollhouse

In a world where females are not commonly born you are kidnapped and taken to the kingdom of Valgore to be sold off to whoever can afford you. The General of the knights Yuta Okkotsu who isn’t sure if he wants a wife, takes you in but you arnt going to make his life easy by submitting yourself to him.

Tw: bad language, violence, drinking, beating, woman being mistreated, abuse, murder, rape, things that may trigger people.

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

"I don't even have my shoes on yet!" You yell while watching Yuta rushing around getting his things. 

"I know I know but we can't afford to be late, I booked a dress appointment around 9pm." Yuta said as he grabbed a pair of your heels from the closet. It was the black ones you always wore. 

"Who told you to book it so early?" You sit on the bed. 

"Well I didn't see the invitation till yesterday. Plus the earlier we go the fastest it can be adjusted to your body. I have VIP access so it will be quick." Yuta kneeled down to slip your shoes on your feet. You shake your head in disappointment but you couldn't blame him. He didn't read the invitation when he was supposed to. Quickly he grabbed your hand making you follow right behind him. Your steps echoing loudly in the house. "Yuta" you say trying to get his attention. He didn't hear you due to all the thoughts going on in his head. "Yuta!" You called out louder. Eventually you made it to the front door with him. Not wanting your husband to embarrass you, you pulled back. He looked at you confused for a second until you opened your mouth. 

"Yuta darling you still need your shoes." 

His eyes quickly look down to see he had no shoes of yet. He let out a fake chuckle. "I knew that" he said before leaving to put on his own shoes. You watch as he walked off before walking outside. Walking outside you watched as the guards stood outside guarding the place. They where still outside guarding since their general didn't inform them about his absence today. You walk down the path to the carriage as men try approaching you. 

"Stay down boys I am with my husband today. He's just running late. What would he think of other men where to touch me?" 

"And do you think we'll listen to you? Your just a fortune leech that managed to attach them selfs to the general. Why don't we go inside now?" A red headed guard said. You glare at them as they got closer. 

"Maybe we can convince him to tie you down in your room or have you in the guard tower when you miss behave. Iv had enough from you this week." A blond said grabbing your arm. His big hand folding it to your back. 

"Good morning general men, I see we've started off with a tough morning. To inform you the General in on his way and I would hate to see you guys fired. So I advice you letting her go."Haru said as he fixed his handkerchief. He had came into the scene out of no where. 

The men looked at each other and dispersed. Giving them a small smile you continued walking forward but before you could step in carriage you heard footsteps behind you. Turning around you saw Yuta. 

You approached him quickly and gave him a tight hug making him stumble back a bit shocked. "Yuta these men are being so rude to me, one grabbed me aggressively, Iv never need manhandled like this." you flutter your eyes. His pale skin quickly turned pink as he grabbed you by the shoulders. "Go into the cart, please. I’ll talk to my men" He whispered into your ear. His hand intertwined with your hair. You complied and entered slamming the door shut. 

"Wow general I see your already hitting it. Cant blame ya." A man with blue hair said with a smirked. Yuta smiled at him, "glad you see the beauty I see too but sadly your fired" he said cheerfully as he looked at the the rest of the men. "Say something disrespectful and you'll also end up with no job. You will not speak to me as if we were friends. I am your general, your boss, your paychecks are because of me... Anyways I'm going to be taking my wife out so theirs no need for you guys to stay here. Take your old patrols and work. I'll see you gentlemen later." Yuta sent them off with a nod and got inside the carriage. Sitting across from you he rested his elbows on his knees and looked at you with his hands intertwined. "What was that?" You asked as the carriage started moving. 

"What do you mean? I corrected them" Yuta tilts his head confused. 

"You didn't tell them that the rule of me not being able to go out was lifted. Or for them to be treated kindly." You throw your hands up. 

"First of all it hasn't been lifted and second they probably treat you that way because you treat them like that too." He looked at you. 

The carriage began to move in a steady pace as you looked at him in his eyes. They still looked tired even after sleeping. Not looking quite fond of the situation. 

"Of course you take their side, is it because I'm a woman? Your scared that they won’t see you as a man if you take my side? Why do you act like you actually care?" You say looking away from his eyes.

"I care because your my wife of course. Why wouldn't I care for the person who will bare my children." 

"Of course the person who will bear your children. That's all that men see in woman. I never wanted to be your wife! The only reasons you care for me is because you paid for me. You don't truly love me. Your just pretending to look good in front of everyone. You don't even know the simplest thing about me. What's my favorite food? Color? Place to go out? Song? You know nothing." You say as tears begin to form. 

"Y/n where is this suddenly come from? Are you home sick? Have a fever? Or just not feeling well?" He said pressing the back of his cold hand to your forehead. 

"No I'm absolutely fine. Theirs no issue with me." You throw his had away. He looked at you sadden. His eyes dropping down. "I see... I'll call Megumi to meet with you in a bit. Since it seems I'm the issue." Yuta said getting up to stop the driver, suddenly Your back hit the back of the seat hard. You groan rubbing your head. 

You both looked at each other trying to register what just happened until you heard commotion outside. He quickly pulled out his sword out with his right hand. Slowly approaching the door he opened it hopping out. You following behind curious on the situation. After closing the door Behind you, you look to see the horse laying dead in the floor with the rider. Your body freezing in the spot. "General!" You hear a raspy voice yell. To your right a old man appeared. He had white wrinkly skin, rotten teeth, long gray thin hair. He held his pocket knife at Yuta as his shaky hands fumbled in his pocket. Quickly pulling out a piece of paper. 

"Give it to me!" The shaky old man said as he waved his weapon in the air. You look at Yuta who also looked shocked. He slowly looked at your direction as he dug his hand into his right pocket. Eventually taking out the bag of gold. It was a fat pouch that contained enough to buy 5 expensive Horses. He quickly threw it at the mans hands who looked at it disguised. 

"I dont want this shit" he threw it on the floor. "General you know what I want now. Don’t play a fool just because your wife is here. Give me her." He said pointing at you. You looked at them bewildered. Their was no way he could of possibly done all of this to give you off. Was he offered doubled the amount he paid for? As you questioned everything He handed Yuta a paper that contained a bunch of horrible hand writing and Yutas signature. 

"I know well Iv never promised anything. I said that as a joke five years ago sir. But of course I didn’t mean it. I said it because I never thought I would marry. So let’s just forget about this no?" Yuta said giving him a smile. Ripping the paper into pieces in front of him. 

But the old man shook in anger. He fell to the ground and slowly started picking up the pieces. Trying to connect them together in his hands hoping to make something out of it. "I don’t care what you say anymore I’m going to have it my way." He said as he launched himself towards you. You gasp at the sudden movement closing your eyes tight. Surprisingly nothing occurred, opening your eyes you see Yuta having a firm grip on the man’s throat who begged for him to let go. 

He clawed at Yutas veiny hand that started turning white due to him having such a tight grip. Your husband’s face having no reaction to what was happening. One of the best poker faces you’ve ever seen. "Yuu, you can let go of him now." You say quietly in your corner. 

He flinched hearing your voice and looked at you. "Right I’m sorry you must be frightened." Yuta said walking to your direction as he dragged the man behind him by his hair. "Can you do me a favor?" He said quietly as he caressed your face with his free hand. "Close your eyes and don’t open then no matter what you hear. You can open them when I tap you okay?" He said looking at you with a stern look. You nod and cover your eyes with your hand. You could hear a bunch of punching and kicking. The groans of pain from the man. His attempts of crying for help quickly being shut. "I’m sorry! I’m sorry okay?! Please spare me. I won’t ever bother you again!" He cried. You could feel the lump in your throat as you stood their quietly. Not daring to take a peak. Soon horrific yelling could be heard. Your shaking legs make you crouch on the floor. Silence suddenly falling. Everything happened so fast it was hard to even imagine the situation. 

Your hand was removed from your face and you were met with exhausted Yuta. Sweat on his forehead and blood splattered over his cheek. "You didn’t peak right?" He asked holding your hand. 

You shake your head telling him the truth. 

"Good girl" he said as he leaned in pressing his lips onto yours. For some odd reason you didn’t push away. You leaned into it more enjoying every second of it. 

Authors note: I ended up taking it out Lmaoo. Sorry 🧍‍♀️

Tags 🏷: @hannya-exists @pinkraindropsfell @halparkebitch @mokonasenpaiposts @a10vely-yutazen

[hopefultingle]

Geralt’s Other Half (pt. 1)

A woman who goes by the name of Hope, one day gets taken into a world she has thought was only on television. The longer she stays, the more she realizes that maybe this place wasn’t unfamiliar to her after all. In which two complete opposite’s are connected through Destiny without even knowing.

In this story it doesn’t go by the show or games at all, I kind of made a twist on it. I’m not 100% knowledgeable on the witcher because I’ve only ever watched the show, so I’m sorry if it’s a little rough. Also, you can change her name and read it as an x reader if that is better for you

Angst, slow burn, asshole geralt, soft Geralt, protective Geralt, jealous Geralt, jealous reader/OC, 18+, violence of course, happy ending

Next

Ever since Hope was a little girl her life had felt off balance, like there was something... missing. She could never pin point exactly what she was missing, but as she aged this feeling grew and eventually she felt like she didn't belong in this world of hers at all. There was a feeling deeper inside her that made her feel like she was meant for something greater, like she was meant to be somewhere that was way out of her reach.

Life became tiring for the poor girl, constantly having to fake her smiles, her happiness, and her determination for what lies ahead of her. Never knowing if this soul sucking feeling would ever leave or if she was just cursed with it for the rest of her shitty life, but she has always hoped it was the latter. Sometimes while she's sitting there writing her little stories to escape the grim reality she lives in, she would think about how her life would be ten times better if she were to just be transported into an entirely different universe, maybe then the feeling that's been weighing on her for the past 20 years would finally be able to dissipate.

Though life is never that easy now is it? At least, that's what she thought until the utterly unexpected happened.

——————————

A white cloud of smoke leaves the petite girls plump lips as she tries to warm up her tiny frosted fingertips. The weather has turned to absolute shit in the past few days, climate change has really begun to fuck up the planet and she sadly had to suffer earths mighty wrath this horrible evening. Maybe only throwing on a thin sweater wasn't her best decision, she thinks to herself as little flurries of snow begin to fall around her and cover her body as she continues to speed walk down the busy street. Her meeting with her mother is far from what she would like to be doing right now and she would more than love to slow her pace to lengthen the time before she has to come face to face with the woman. Sadly, the weather though, seemed to be on her wretched mothers side. So here she was speed walking as fast as her little legs could carry her.

"Why must this world hate me?" She mutters out between her chattering teeth and like usual she doesn't get an answer, only a few odd stairs from the people walking by her.

The familiar exquisite looking cafe comes into view and she cant help, but roll her eyes like she always does when it comes into view. Her mother has always enjoyed ravishing in her husbands money and so she requests to meet at the most expensive cafe in town every. Single. Time.

You'd think Hope wouldn't mind, but no, she really minds, extremely minds. Her mother has no regards for money or other peoples struggles when it comes to herself. She expects and expects from her poor daughter, but leaves her hanging high and dry when it comes to finance or literally anything for that matter. Hope was almost homeless in her first year of college, which her mother had forced her to attend in the first place, because of the non existent funds she was qualified for and of course she didn't get a dime from neither her mother nor her step father. So Hope had to drop out to work a shitty 9-5 job just to be able to pay for her small, run down apartment and even then she barely could afford it. Therefore, yes, she really fucking minded seeing her wretched mothers infuriating face in a, 20 dollars a drink, cafe. Heavens forbid could she pay even a cent for a small drink for her, but no, she never does. So, the poor girl has to sit there starving and thirsty while listening to her mom berate her for her life choices.

As she begins to come to her last steps before being in front of the entrance, a weird feeling begins to swell from somewhere deep inside her. Her eyes furrow in confusion at the odd feeling forming, it was becoming even stronger than her constant feeling of being off balance and out of place. Instead of dwelling on it though, she puts it to the very back of her mind and writes it off as anxiety of the situation that was about to come. Her fingers wrap around the door handle and yanks the door wide open, a welcoming chime signalling everyone of her arrival. She spots her mother at a table dressed up in her expensive pencil skirt, with her silk tank and her long, furry, white coat that always makes Hope want to jump out a window at the sight of. The thing is horrendous and embarrassing, she never understood her moms infatuation with the thing.

She takes in a frustrated breath before stepping through the doorway, but instead of stepping into the familiar warm cafe, she steps into a... tavern?

Eyes wide in shock, her ears barely pick up the sound of singing coming from a certain bard just a little ways away. The muffled loud voices of the people spread throughout the room echo in her mind as she quickly whips her body around to look back through the wide open door that she had just stepped foot through. Instead of seeing the familiar street she's memorized like the back of her hand, she sees an unfamiliar dirt road filled with a few people in corsets and clothing that she's only ever seen in movies that are set in the medieval times.

"What in the bloody hell?!" Those words leave her mouth in a shout just before the feeling of a soft hand resting upon her shoulder causes her to jump in her shoes and spin around to face the stranger who touched her. Fear and shock pool around her orbs as she stares into a familiar man's eyes, but she can't even begin the fathom where she's seen him from before because there's no way in hell she's ever met the man in her life.

"Are you quite alright, little maiden?"

His British accent shocks her even more, that's when her ears begin to finally take notice on everyone else's bellowing voices around them and notices that they all seem to have the same accent as the man standing right in front of her.

Brownish, redish, curls shimmer back and forth as the scared woman shakes her head all while blubbering like a fish trying to breathe in air on the surface.

"I- yes I'm ok it's just..." her breath hitches as her heart begins to race, "where are we?"

The bards eyes finally leave the girls shocked face to rake over her small body. Never has he ever seen a woman like her, her garbs are something that no one he's ever crossed or bedded has ever worn.

She takes notice of the shift in emotion on his baby like face as they continue to stand there staring at each other in shock and amazement.

Just a few feet away from the two, a grumpy Witcher finally begins to take notice of his annoying companion's absence. It's become a somewhat norm to block out the bards obnoxiously loud voice, and so, he doesn't notice when that said bard had stopped singing and yapping in his ear.

"Fucking, bard." Geralt grumbles out before swivelling his massive top half around to skim his eyes across the room. He straight away finds the blokes god awful, greenish outfit, which almost makes him roll his eyes, but the petite figure in front of him causes him to freeze in his own skin. His chest starts to fill with that familiar feeling he has always awoken to after dreaming of that sweet girl who haunts him while he sleeps. He doesn't know what or why it happens, but it always does. Until now he didn't even think twice about it or who she was, thinking that his cursed mind had made up such a heavenly woman to torture him with, but no. Here she was. Standing there in those ridiculous, but oddly attractive clothing, and talking to the moronic bard.

"Fuck."

Without another thought, the massive Witcher stands up while keeping his eyes on the girls petite figure like she would just up and disappear the second he removed them. It's still hard for him to believe that his girl is actually here and a real breathing person. A grunt leaves his throat at his minds ridiculous thoughts of her possibly being his. As his feet take him closer and closer, a heavenly scent wafts through the air and into his nose. The smell is a mix between the soft smell of lavender and the strong, delicious, smell of pomegranate. The scent is so addicting that he doesn't even notice when he's made it to the duo.

The boy in front of Hope clears his throat while resting his hands on his hips and the next words to leave his mouth are said like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "We're in the city of Cintra, of course..." he pauses, "are you sure you are ok because what in the gods name are you wearing?!" She bites her lip nervously not understanding what the fuck is happening. Cintra? Where the fuck could that be? She thinks to herself as a giant figure catches her hazel doe eyes. With a flicker of her eyes, she catches the witchers gleaming yellow and orange ones and something inside her chest ignites like a flame. Her lips part slightly as their gazes stay locked.

Once he makes it to where he could reach out and touch her, he is then finally awoken from whatever daze he was put in. Locking eyes with her beautiful ones has made him able to put a name to the feeling in his chest. Belonging.

As the man her eyes are staying locked with is realizing this feeling, she is also realizing that her feeling of off balance has been completely wiped and replaced with that same electrifying feeling. She belongs here, wherever here is. Cintra? This massive man? This odd boy? She couldn't say, but she just knew that she had finally escaped that hell she had called a life and was about to finally begin the one she is meant to live. She doesn't know how she knows, she's just going by what the feeling running through her is telling her. She is meant to be here, meant to follow this breathtaking man with a stone cold face and somehow that excites her more than scares her. She has never been known to be the sane type of person after all.

"Hello?! Earth to the Witcher!" Jaskier snaps his fingers in front of the mans blank face causing an annoyed grumble to come from him and almost a second later, a death glare follows once he finally breaks eye contact with the woman.

With a clear of the throat she shakily holds out her hand in greeting, "Im Hope by the way, and you guys are?"

The two stare at her hand like it grew a face of its own, but she continues to keep her hand there awkwardly. When she finally about to pull it back dejectedly, the gruff, but attractive man, hesitantly does as she does. With a small smile she softly latches her hand around his and gently shakes it. A jolt shoots through each of them at the contact.

"Geralt." He grumbles out softly.

His voice sends chills down her spine and it takes every bone in her body to not physically shiver in pleasure. Who knew a man could look and sound like a Greek god. There's no way a man like himself could be anything, but that.

She smiles. Really smiles, for the first time ever and Geralt takes notice of this.

An odd feeling fills his chest which causes him to take his hand back quickly.

Her smile falters a tad, but it still stays as she says, "it's a pleasure to meet you."

She then turns towards the bard, and as her eyes really take him in, she freezes in realization.

Wait a minute, she thinks, there's no way...

She quickly turns back to Geralt in utter shock and says, "you're that Geralt of riv.. rivya? Uh-" Jaskier quickly cuts in, "Geralt of Rivia, yes! It seems she's heard of my song, aye Witcher?"

Geralt rolls his eyes and refrains from punching the bloke in the stomach after he had obnoxiously jabbed his boney elbow into the side of his stomach. "Your song is wrong and sounds like horseshit, Bard." Hope can't help, but to giggle at their light hearted interaction, which ends up doing things to the mans insides that he's never felt or ever wanted to feel before he found her. Her laugh sounds like soft wind chimes to his ears-

"M'no I haven't... well I have. That's just not how I know, it's because I'm very fond of watching compilations of the two of you..." she decides to keep the part of her being more fond of watching edits of the sexy Witcher, not wanting to embarrass herself in front of him anymore than she already has.

Jaskier looks at the odd woman like she's grown two heads and she looks right back at him with a soft smile that Geralt can't seem to stop staring at. "It's hasier right? Or something along those lines..." Her right hand shoots up to scratch the back of her head nervously. Hopefully the bard isn't too hurt by her butchering his name. She never had been one to be good with names, it's always been something she's embarrassed about.

His mouth opens and closes like a fish breathing in air, "it is Jaskier, little maidan!"

Geralt cant hold back the deep chortle that leaves his mouth which causes the bard to glare at him, "this isn't funny, Geralt!"

"Hmm. I find it quite amusing."

Hope quickly cuts in. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean-"

The threes conversation is rudely interrupted by an angry mans shout.

"Hey! Yous better get outta the door way before I kick yous all out!"

Jaskier is quick to apologize and quickly ushers, or more like attempts, the Witcher to the bar with Hope following not too far behind. That's when her eyes take their time to roam over the broad mans back, never in a million years would she have ever thought she'd be here staring at the Geralt of Rivia. This shouldn't even be possible, but here she is.

He's got a very nice back, she thinks.

Her eyes begin to ascend lower and land on a certain area that she probably shouldn't be looking at.

And an even nicer ass, she blushes while quickly looking away.

The two men sit on a stool while Hope stands behind them awkwardly. She's not sure if she's welcome to sit beside the large man or if he'd rather her leave them be. She also remembers how annoyed he could get with Jaskier. So, If that's the case then where the fuck would she go? She hardly knows anything of this world, one step outside and she'd most likely be killed. With a nervous bite of her lip, she timidly sits on the stool that's close to Geralt. While doing so, her arm lightly brushes against his and his body goes ridged at the feeling the contact causes. This goes unnoticed by her of course, and she mumbles out an apology.

It's quiet among the two of them as Jaskier starts singing and wooing the woman next to him. What a fool, she thinks to herself as an almost silent giggle leaves her lips at the sight of a tall man standing up behind the woman, which causes Jaskier to splutter out apologies.

A gruff sigh is heard from Geralt. This makes her eyes switch to looking at him and she feels herself slightly melt at the sight of him. How can this brooding man that kills things for a living and who she had literally just met, be already making her feel this way. Then again she's always known that shes the type to fall too quickly and too hard for all her life. Even though, this time it feels different... almost feels like these feelings were meant to blossom. She's taken out of her thoughts by Geralts gruff voice speaking to her.

"Hungry?"

She looks away in embarrassment when those beautiful golden eyes meet hers. Jesus Christ Hope, you gotta stop staring at the poor man, she scolds herself.

"No, uh no. It's ok, I wouldn't want you to use your money on me."

He doesn't listen to her and instead gets the barmaids attention. The girl gives him a disgusted look, "what you want mutant scum?"

Rage swells in Hopes chest, wanting nothing more than to punch the hideous woman in her face for speaking that way to him. Though, instead she chooses to send her sharp daggers. She had honestly forgotten how disgusting people could be towards him in this universe.

Geralt looks over to her out of the corner of his eye and can't help, but think of how cute the little woman is when she's angry. She's like a kitten.

"I'll take a baked potato and two ales."

The barmaiden just crosses her arms.

"An abomination like you ain't deserve a crum of-"

Hope can't take it anymore and slams her soft palms against the wooden table, the rage from before is boiling and she wouldn't be surprised if smoke was coming out the top of her head.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?"

The woman's shocked eyes meet her slitted ones. The whole room falls silent, while all eyes fall on her, but all she can see is red and that god awful wrench of a woman.

"You have no fucking right to talk to him like that, you fucking goblin. If anything you don't deserve Jack shit for your nasty ass attitude! How fucki-"

"Hope..." Geralt grumbles.

"-ng dare you even say those disgusting-"

"Hope." He says in a more sharper tone.

Jaskier is now standing behind the two nervously, he can feel the heated stares of some of the men around the tavern. Oh this is bad, he thinks.

"Geralt is a-"

"Hope!"

Geralt shouts louder this time, making the small woman jump and look at him with a look of fear and shame.

"Who the fuck does this whore think she is?!" One of the men shouts causing a few others to join in with him. Fear washes over Hope like a freezing ice cold waterfall.

"Gentlemen! Gentlemen! There's no need for such hostility, it was all just a misunderstanding. Right little maidan?" Jaskier tries to quickly diffuse the situation while wrapping his arm around her shoulders comfortingly.

Geralts massive build stands up abruptly while letting out a threatening growl. Without turning around he barks back, "you better watch your mouths."

Jaskier chuckles nervously knowing that this could only get worse the longer it goes on, the brute is known to have a short temper as of lately. He quickly starts taking Hope with him to the front entrance just in case things escalated, he didn't want the poor girl to get in the middle of it all.

"Geralt! Let's just leave, it's not worth the time" Jaskier hollers at him. Geralt seems to pause for a second before throwing a pouch of coin onto the table.

"For the ale," he grumbles out angrily in distaste and then makes his way over to the two. Shouts of protests and slurs are thrown at the three as they finally barge out of the Tavern and out into the cool fresh air.

Hope takes a few steps away from the two before hunching over with her hands on her knees. Short breaths leave her airway as her heart tries to calm down, she didn't expect things to escalate like that.

"Well that sure escalated quickly. I thought they ought to have your heads on a stick and fed to the wolves if we didn't leave." Jaskier paces back and forth as Geralt watches Hope out of the corner of his eye in slight worry.

After a minute her breathing finally evens out and so, she slowly stands back up into a straight position. Her eyes then fall to the ground in shame, "I'm so sorry... I don't know what came over me."

A faint sigh leaves Geralts lips. Jaskier turns around to watch as the man takes a few slow steps up to her. His eyes then drop to Geralts hand as it hesitantly lifts to rest on her small shoulder. Shock is what Jaskier feels at the small inkling of affection the Witcher is showing. Not once has he seen him comfort anyone. Not even Yennefer, and those two had some weird thing going on.

Hope tenses for a split second before her body melts at the feeling of his large hand touching her. "You need to be more careful..." a hint of worry is laced in his voice and she looks up into his beautiful eyes.

"I know, especially since I'm not from here, but..." her eyes close and a sad sigh leaves those captivating lips of hers that Geralt can't seem to stop staring at now.

"What that woman said was very uncalled for and I wasn't about to let it slide. You don't deserve to be treated like that, Geralt." Her eyes open once again and they stare into each other's souls. He felt like she could see every inch, every little nook and cranny, of his soul. Like she could see past his thick and never ending wall that he's kept up ever since becoming a witcher. This scared the shit out of him. "Hmm."

His hand slides off her shoulder before beginning to make his way down the street to an inn.

She watches his retreating figure with worried eyes as another hand gently pats her back. She looks to the side of Jaskiers face and asks solemnly, "is he mad?"

He shakes his head and starts walking, "the brutes not much for words so do not fret. Now come, wouldn't want to leave a little lady to fend for herself, now would we?" A smile graces her face at his playfulness, she's always liked that about his character. She gently shakes her head before lightly jogging up to his side so that they can walk together.

"You know Jaskier..."

He side glances at her and hums in question.  "You're quite funny and adorable," a bright grin spreads along his features causing a little giggle to escape from her. "Well I've been told often that I am quite the charmer, lil lady."

Jaskier feels a light jab against his shoulder, "oh yeah, I'm sure you hear that all the time you frog." The shocked face he makes reminds her of the scene where Geralt told him about his opinion on his singing and she can't help, but let out a loud laugh. "You and Geralt are utterly ridiculous! A frog?! I do not look like such a slimy foul creature!" He shouts in slight anger and hurt, which causes a loud snort from the Witcher who is now just only a few paces in front of them, "are you sure your mother didn't fuck a frog, Jaskier?"

He storms ahead in fury causing another set of laughter from Hope. Geralt secretly slows down his steps to let her little legs catch up to his, and she gives him a smile that he catches out of the corner of his eye. He fights himself as a tiny smile forms on his face as they begin walking at a normal pace again. Up ahead Jaskier halts and whirls around on the two, "no you know what! I demand an apology right this instant!"

As they pass him on each of his side Geralt hums while Hope giggles and rubs his shoulder, "I'm sorry, froggy."

A full on smug smirk graces Geralts face now as Jaskier chases after them while cussing them out. Hope looks up at him and can't help, but to be blown away by his smirk. God she's falling way too hard and too fast, but she can't seem to find a care in the world.

It felt right.

It felt like destiny.

[c-optimistic]

Great! I asked because if you didnt take prompts I wanted to be respectful of it, also okay if you dont feel like doing it or if you take your time, I admire and appreciate all your work. It's an angsty one😅 after the supergirl reveal, all the events and their drifting apart, Kara and Lena are rekindling their friendship, kara tells lena she's in love with her, lena confesses her feelings too but tells kara that after everything they cant be more than friends, angst here, then a happy ending 😁

“You’re my Lois,” she said softly, almost to herself. 

(It had been on her mind for days and weeks and months now, words she was afraid to fully verbalize, thoughts and feelings she wasn’t sure she quite wanted to string into something coherent. 

But now, in the silence, in their solitude, the words slipped out as easy as breathing, slipped out without her consent, her knowledge, her desire.)

Lena didn’t turn towards her, just wrapped her arms tighter around herself to stave off the chilly bite of the air. “I don’t know what that means,” she finally offered, voice terribly soft, eyes still focused on the city lights below them. 

(National City was beautiful in the fall. Parks turned orange and yellow and red, pumpkins and cartoon turkeys and the strong scent of cinnamon could be found on every street corner. Jackets got dusted off and pulled on, scarves wound their way around people’s necks, the smell of hot chocolate seemed to permeate the air. 

And Lena looked at home in the fall. Her hair was down more often than not, gentle curls framing her face. She was wrapped in soft sweaters and warm colors, looking gentler, calmer, more at ease.

And she was, in every way, Kara’s Lois.) “It’s...I—well.” Explaining was harder than she thought. Giving meaning to what she said was harder than she expected. “You’re the one I’d spin the world the opposite direction for, you know?” “Don’t be ridiculous, Kara,” Lena scoffed, turning away from the city and meeting Kara’s eyes briefly before walking through the sliding glass doors and back into her apartment. Kara followed sullenly behind. “What good would that even do?” “Turns back time,” Kara joked softly, watching Lena pour herself a glass of wine. Once maybe, days and weeks and months ago, she would have offered Kara a glass as well. Now she just set the bottle aside and sipped slowly, as if daring Kara to comment. “Why would you want to turn back time for me? And what does this have to do with Lois?” She seemed genuinely confused, and Kara realized she needed to be more direct. 

(In and of itself, it was a scary thought. She didn’t want to confess her feelings and be rebuffed. She didn’t want to tell the truth and leave herself open to...what, pain? A lack of reciprocation? Laughter at her expense?

And yet, and yet...Lena was her Lois, and she was worth it all the same.)

“What I’m trying to say,” Kara tried again, biting on her lip as she attempted to find the right words, beginning to think there were only three, not quite sure how to gather the courage to say them. “Remember Mon-El?” she said, switching tactics.

“Vaguely,” Lena responded, amused. She walked over to her kitchen, pulled out a kettle, a mug, and a packet of hot chocolate mix (an item she only kept at her place because she knew about Kara’s preference for it over tea). “What about him?” she asked as she put the water to boil, raising her eyebrow and looking at Kara expectantly. 

“When I sent him away, chose to save everyone over keeping him, Clark told me he could never do that,” Kara explained, that moment etched into her memory, inescapable and dare she say profound in the absence of feeling. “He said if it came down to keeping Lois or the world...well, he wouldn’t know what to do.”

Lena looked down, focusing on pouring the boiling water into the mug and adding the hot cocoa mix, stirring it in slowly. “Oh,” she whispered finally, pushing the mug towards Kara, “that’s what you mean about my being your Lois.”

“Lena, I—”

“—to be honest, though,” Lena interrupted, frowning, “I don’t think you have a Lois.” 

(Well, if anything could make those three words Kara wanted to say shrink back into their shell, it was that.

And for it to be said so casually, so abruptly, so utterly convincingly, as though there wasn’t any doubt in Lena’s mind. Well. That more than hurt, that felt vaguely offensive.)

“That’s so—”

“—you’re too,” Lena waved her hands, struggling with finding a word, “honorable,” she finally settled on. “You believe in duty, in sacrifice, in putting everyone before you.” She smiled, looking inexplicably proud, and picked up her wine glass, taking a small sip. “You’re too selfless. If it came down to it, Kara, you’d break your own heart a thousand times over for the world.” 

Kara blinked, wondering how Lena misinterpreted her. “No, Lena, I’m saying—”

“—no, I know,” Lena interrupted, setting her wine aside and walking over to stand in front of Kara, so close that Kara could practically smell the alcohol on Lena’s breath. Rather than meet Lena’s eyes, Kara kept her gaze on the ceiling. “And I love you, too. But we’re not Clark and Lois.” 

(And oh, Lena got it. She got it and she was braver than Kara, laying the words out there, giving the feelings between them a name, finally, finally, calling it what it was.

Love. She loved Lena.)

“I don’t pull off the suit as well as he does, I know,” Kara joked sadly, eyes still on the ceiling, knowing where Lena was going with this. 

(It was too soon. It was too much. It was too hard.)

“Kara,” Lena admonished, forcing Kara to meet her gaze. Kara’s vision was a little blurred, so she wasn’t quite sure if those were tears in Lena’s eyes or if her allergies were just working up again. “We can’t,” Lena told her, voice trembling. 

“Right. No. Of course.”

“Kara, after everything, being friends is hard enough, do you really—”

“—I said I got it,” Kara interrupted, blinking, horrified when her vision cleared and she felt something wet roll down her cheeks. She was crying. Crying. How utterly embarrassing. 

(She looked away again, unwilling to see pity in Lena’s expression, unwilling to confirm for herself that what was welling up in Lena’s eyes was indeed allergies. 

She looked away again, because she was willing to break her heart a thousand times over for the world, but she didn’t know how to cope with her breaking heart now.)

“I’m just.” She stopped, heaved a breath, and nodded curtly. “Just friends sounds good. But I’m going to go now.” She stepped back from Lena, practically power-walked towards the balcony door, stopping only when she felt something tug on her cape.

“Kara,” Lena began, but Kara didn’t turn. Couldn’t turn. Whatever courage Lena had been on when she’d managed to say the words Kara couldn’t seemed to fade, however, and she released her grip on Kara’s cape and pulled back. “You pull the suit off way better than him, don’t sell yourself short.” 

(It wasn’t what Lena wanted to say, Kara didn’t need the uptick of Lena’s heartbeat or the soft, regretful sigh she released a moment after the words escaped her lips. 

It wasn’t what Lena wanted to say, but it was what she did say, and Kara managed nothing more than a strangled laugh in response, taking off into the night and leaving Lena and a mug of hot chocolate untouched behind her.)

xxx

The next time she saw Lena was at game night.

(This was not for a lack of trying on Lena’s part. She’d invited Kara to lunch, to coffee, to a variety of science-related events—even Lena’s TED Talk—but Kara had declined them all, citing work or Supergirl-catastrophes.

Finally, Lena had sent a text reading just hmph, and Kara had spent the rest of the afternoon asking Nia if it was a good or bad hmph.) 

Game night, however, Kara couldn’t avoid. Namely, because it was at her own apartment. She had managed to avoid directly inviting Lena, resorting instead to a group chat message, something that had Nia shaking her head and muttering “children.” 

(And rationally, Kara knew better. She knew that she was supposed to be a better friend, that they were working on repairing their tattered and bruised friendship, that they needed to reestablish all those lines of communication and trust that had been burned to the ground. 

She knew, but she struggled. She struggled with the thought of looking at Lena and not thinking about how much she loved her, not thinking that Lena felt the same way, not thinking that had she been better—a better friend, a more honest friend, a kinder friend—then there would have been nothing in the way of her reaching out to take Lena by the hand, tug her forward, chase her lip, and—

Well. All those were things she was determinedly not trying to think of.) 

She was a bit of a mess by the time Lena arrived, looking as beautiful and breathtaking as ever, a bag of takeout in her hand, an unsure smile on her lips. 

“Are you sure?” Lena whispered, not entering Kara’s apartment. “If this is too much—”

“—I want you here,” Kara cut in, not really embarrassed by how desperate she sounded. Because now that she was looking at Lena, she forgot why she had wanted to maintain distance in the first place. Self-preservation no longer seemed very important to her. “I always want you with me.” 

“As a friend,” Lena added, cheeks flushed, suddenly very interested in her shoes, her heart pounding away, teeth digging into her bottom lip. 

Kara wasn’t sure what it all meant. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. So instead, she responded with the honesty she should’ve afforded Lena sooner—the honesty her best friend was owed. “In any capacity you’ll have me,” she said.

Lena didn’t respond, but as she walked by to enter Kara’s apartment, the fingers of her free hand ran over the inside of Kara’s hand, barely brushing over Kara’s palm, really, and it was like an electric shock, leaving Kara paralyzed to the spot until Alex took pity on her and unrooted her—physically dragging her over to the food and games.

(And the entire night, as Kara flexed the hand Lena touched repeatedly, she noticed that every time she looked over at Lena, Lena was already looking at her.

And the entire night, as Nia muttered “children” under her breath, Kara began to hope.)

xxx

As the weeks dragged on and Lena showed no signs of wanting anything to evolve between them, much of that hope evaporated. She was only holding onto the last tendrils when she had to show up at L-Corp (again) to stop some madman’s mad henchmen from trying to kill Lena (again). 

When the men were appropriately stopped and detained, Kara found herself on the balcony with Lena (again), staring out at the city (this too, again). Lena wasn’t drinking anything, and she wasn’t dressed in her soft sweaters. Instead, she was wearing a navy suit, hair pulled tightly back, hands in her pockets as she leaned against the balustrade, eyes on Kara. 

“You took awhile to get here,” Lena finally said, and Kara turned to her, a little offended.

“There was a fire, Lena. I had to make sure it was out before—”

“—but I thought I was your Lois?” she interrupted, with more than a little snark. Kara straightened, standing at her full height as she approached Lena.

“First of all, low blow. Secondly, you said it yourself, I don’t have a Lois. Maybe you need to find a less honorable friend,” Kara told her, eyes narrowed. 

Lena didn’t look sorry. If anything, she seemed...content. “I’ve been thinking about it, you know?” She tugged her hands out of her pockets, and Kara thought her heart slammed to a halt when Lena reached out and placed her hands on Kara’s shoulders, drawing her in. “I think the truth is,” she continued, hands sliding across Kara’s shoulders, interlocking behind Kara’s neck, “you’re my Lois. Because there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you, even give up a chance at something more, something I really want, because I was scared it wouldn’t work and I’d lose you completely.” 

“Something you really want, huh?” Kara said, her heart jumpstarting at the feeling of Lena’s fingers against her neck, at the way Lena’s thumbs rubbed gently against the base of her skull, at the way Lena leaned up, pressing their foreheads together. “Are you still scared?”

“Terrified,” Lena breathed. “But I figure I could be a little more like you, potential heartbreak and all.”

Kara tried to nod, managing nothing more than gently head-butting Lena and making her laugh. “We probably need to figure out a better way to describe how we feel about each other, I think my cousin and Lois may get concerned—”

“—Kara?” Lena interrupted, pulling away just a bit.

“Yeah?”

“We can definitely talk about this if you want. Or you could just kiss me. Whichever you prefer.” 

(In the end, it was an easy choice.

And judging from the way Lena sighed into her mouth, she felt the same way.)

[popculturebuffet]

Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2020 Part 2 (#10-#1)

And we’re back.. The first part is HERE, which includes the first 10 and my thoughts on this past year in animation, so we can cut the long intro and get right into it. This is the best episodes this year had to offer in animation, and it’s , without meaning to, at least a third bojack horseman. On with the show. 

10. I Am My Monster (Steven Universe Future)  “We all had Steven when we needed him, but the only person who's never had Steven is Steven. He's always been there for us, so... how can we be there for him now?“ Oddly “The Future”, a finale I did really truly enjoy.. is not on this list. Really good episode, it’s just Future was easily one of Steven Univereses best season, tightining up the pacing without loosing what made the series feel special and really digging into some of more unhealthy aspects of steven’s life. And while the future is good and certanily the needed epilogue.. this episode is the climax, the cumilation of EVERYTHING Steven had done and gone though and something fans sadly saw coming and just had to simply watch, unable to help as Steven slowly lost himself. Previously on this list we saw him hit rock bottom and it only got worse: He went to home world, attacked white diamond due to his pent up trauma and once again ingored attempts to help him, this time from the diamonds and spinle, angrily refusing to listen to his own words she she sang Change at him.  This only got worse in the briliant and sadly edged out of the list “Everything’s Fine’ A really damn painful episode where steven tries to assert he’s okay and act normal.. only he cant and he destroys everything around him, and even repeats pearl’s text trick from a single pale rose with a pained voice message to connie saying to help steven. But the pressure of the LONG overdue intervension and the fact it came too late.. means steven confsses his recent sins.. and instead of taking them for twhat they are, spur of the moment acts caused by a toxic influence and a fuckload of ptsd and unreseovled issues with white that while certanly not okay are symptoms of a larger issues takes it to mean “Im a fraud”.. and thus he horriingly corurpts.  So here we are as Greg, Connie and the main gems all gap ein horor as Steven has corrputed himself, reduced to a monster whose not even malcious just.. sad.. so full of self loathing he can’t function and at risk of STAYING like that. And the relization hits hard.. and hits everyone who joins in hard. The auxilery crystal gems soon join but attempts from both groups to stop Steven do nothing. The diamonds arrive.. and not only are saddneed by what htey’ve doned but equally powerfless to stop him.  Everyone breaks down, blaming themselves for not seeing this sooner and for speding YEARS piling their issue on the kids, everyone ready to give up as they loose the person they care about most.. except one. Connie proves to be the hero of the episode, rallying the others with the above, pointing out Steven would happily help them if he could.. and that’s the problem. He’s spent his whole life fixing other peoples problems and focusing on that.. but never had someone to be HIS Steven. Fighting him’s not going to work.. he needs to know he’s loved... in the end the final battle of the series is not some struggle of life and death.. but of love. What wins the day isn’t a fight, though our heroes various powers do come in hand to restrain steven.. but it’s all of them, one by one telling them they love him in easily the most tearjerking moment of the series, cumilating in connie softly playing a kiss on his nose... and it’s this that FIANLLY frees steven from his self made prison.. finally realizing h’es not alone and that no matter who or what he becomes.. his family loves and forgives him. While we REALLY needed the next episode to wrap things up after this swell of emtitions. this was the climax the series desrved: after spending 6 seasons trying to help everyone ELSE and fix their issues he never should’ve had to.. it’s eveyrone else who gladly pitches in to fix steven’s own issues, to help HIM when he’s at his lowest point like they’ve been, and make it so he can FINALLY heal and finally find himself once and for all. IT’s one of the finest episodes of the series and easily the best of future. 

9. The Perfect House (Close Enough)  “I’m this close to connecting garfield, TO JESUS”  This one’s just really funny, charming and creative. Simple as that.. I could move on but eh i’m a wordy bastard. Once again we’re focused on Emily, this time as we find out an endearing hobby of hers: She likes visiting open houses and fantasizing about affording a better place she likely never will afford, one with trash can nooks, a kitchen and a living room that are fully seperate, and indivudal bins for tea and sugar... and when it’s pointed out she dosen’t drink tea it’s only because she has nowhere to put it.  But after Josh and Candace get them thrown out, if adorably so, Emily is forced to face reality... i.e. Alex, in one of the series finest gags, in his underwear with conspiracy boards trying to connect garifled to jesus and having a jug of his urine around for some reason. Did I mention I love this weirdo because I do. Brigette is painting in the ktichen.. using her body as the canvas, though in a bikini because the show wasn’t streaming only yet. You’ll have to wait a season for possible boobs. Naturally this just stresses her out so she goes to visit more houses while Josh vows to buy a family bike, a large circular bike for the whole family, as an activity because of course he does and of COURSE he also has a recurring issue of being mocked by some random kid about not having one. 

So she escapes and meets dave and caitlin, a husband whose family life is miserable and a child star who got emanicapted and they quickly form a psuedo family to look at open houses.. only to, as if to remind you what show your watching, instead end up in a tgif sitcom... and trapped in a styigian void, with only Emily desperate to get out. Also she’s been missing three days and Josh has some thoughts on that and goes after her.  Naturally given she’s crashing in on her fake sitcom family, this oly has him seen as a plot element, and Emily’s attempt at cursing and everything she can , while hilarious fail.. but the climax is what makes the episode and what inches it slighlty above quack pack.. which itself was fucking awesome. Instead of FIGHTING the format... Emily is forced to play into it, and realizes a cheesy moment of emtional honesty is what’s needed. She apologizes to her fake family, saying their nice but she has to face the world and to josh and much like Donald, seroiusly this episode was made years ago and there’s no way in hell frank knew about it, she just needed an escape but it’s more healthy: instead of wishing for a life she never had Emily just wants a break from the life she does for five minutes. She’s happy where she is, with her loving husband, wonderful daughter, impulsive but still carring best friend.. and well okay maybe not Alex, there’s somethihng really wrong with him, but as much as I love the guy I admit he’s not for everyone. I’m also a borderline feral man covered in hair who wants people to know i’m smart. I get him. 

IT’s this that sets her free.. and we get another amazing gag as Dave’s family shows up and Dave chooses the fantasy.. though instead of this being thorughly pogiant it’s just “classic dave”. COmplete with title sequence. And of course it ends on a family bike with Emily getting those tins from Josh. Their relationship.. is REALLY what makes both this show and this episode in paticular work. Here while Emily screws up, it STARTS innocently enough, simply faking being a family and spirals into tgif because while this show isn’t, possibly, in the regular show cinematic universe, it’s defintely in the same multiverse. She just wants some peace of mind from a chaotic life, but dosen’t resent her husband or anything.. he just frustrates her sometimes which is fair. But he’s never portrayed as an abusive asshat which you think would be a low bar to clear but.. you’d be suprised. Point is it’s a wonderfully weird and somehow still unique despite being one of three tgif parodies this year. Seriously that shit is a goldmine. It’s how Dashieel Driscoll got half a season out of full house and a good chunk of a very special epsiode as a whole out of it. Though a certain incident helped. 

Point is good show, jolly good show... and ew’ll be right back with the rest afte the cut

8. Agony of a Witch/Old Bodies, Young Souls (The Owl House) “You always thought you were better than me! That I could never Beat you at anything! “  “I AM Better than you!” “Then WHY WERE YOU SO EASY TO CURSE?!”  The Owl House was a show I took WAY too long to catch up on after missing the second half of season 2.. minus Enchanting Grom Fright which I caught first run and we’ll get to that story shortly. Point is my procastnation did me dirty here as this show , which was already fantastic just got better and better, cumulating in this epic, heartdestroying, soul punching, beautifully animated finale that takes everything the show has built up thus far, blows it up in some places and uses it to beautifully end in others, leaving us with a new road for the future.  So yeah naturally it’s been a long ride as one of Owl House’s strength.. is that no episode is filler. No really, each one has a purpose great or small in the larger narrative, and every major arc has been expertly paced and crafted, bringing us to this point. The only major arc or plot thread left out is Amity, and that’s honestly for the better. Make NO mistake, she’s a great character.. but like fellow great Donald Duck, she was left out because the episode had a LOT of emotional stuff going on, a lot of plot to fit in, and a lot to do and it’s simply better for her character and for the moment’s she’s bound to have in response to well.. everything happening here, to let it breathe next season rather than try to shove it into an already stuffed two episodes.  But this episode is one long string of payoffs, and payoffs creating more setups: So all season Eda, our loveable witch, has been grappling with a curse that turns her into an owl beast, one that’s been getting worse as far back as the mid season finale Escape from the Palisman. She’s been needing more and more elixer to combat it, a harrowing parallel to some real world diseases: Sometimes your meds can only DO so much to combat something actively killing you.. thankfully this time.. not speaking from personal experince.  And Luz finds out soon into the episode as Eda makes a cloak of witches wool, which can deflect powerful spells, to protect herself.. only to black out and go owl just as she’s saying she’s fine. Like most parents would Eda hid just how bad things have gotten and it’s gone from needing just one bottle of elixer to needing their entire suply, and even that barely worked. Despite her mentor’s assurances, Luz is now PAINFULLY aware her mentor is on borrowoed time... not helped by the fact the coven attacked earlier that morning and she finds out by finding hooty playing tea party with them, meaning Eda is outgunned, outmanned and while Lilith failed, again.. the emperor can now easily find her himself and send whoever he wnats and however many people he wants to fetch her.. and Eda can’t use too much of her magic or else.  So while Eda and King, touched by how much Luz has changed them, decide to throw a suprise party with King making a big cake to jump out of and Eda using witches wool she intended for herself to make her a cape. Meanwhile as you’d expect Luz.. is plotting a dangerous and life threatning mission: with a field trip to the Emperor’s Coven that day, one she was going to sit out because you know they hate her second mom for dogmatic and vile reasons the episode fleshes out, she finds out they have an artifact called the healing hat that can seemingly heal anything.  So she does what Luz does and comes up with an impulsive plan to heist the thing.. but for once her impuslivness isn’t played for laughs. Her mother figure is slowly sucumbing to a fate worse than death, for once instead of just acting rashly because Luz.. she’s doing so because she KNOWS, that she has no other choice. Nothing else in sight and she’s smart enough to know that if Eda had a cure she’d of told Luz about it. Even if it was dangerous or required a sacrifice or something Eda would’ve just left that part out.  But the trip serves a few other purposes besides getting Luz where she needs to be for the plot that makes it work: it elaborates on just what the emperor’s coven is like and WHY Emperor Belos gets away with everything: He claims to speak for the titan,  the giant dead monster whose body makes up the boiling isles and who, as Luz has discovered, is the source of the magic there. So when he bloodily, I mean it’ sa kid show so they dont’ say so but given how violent this one is i’m asssuming bloody, took power, he claimed they were doing magic wrong, killed any hertiics and set up the rigid coven system. It explains just WHY the boiling isles limits themselves, gives the whole thing a creepy dogmatic religion vibe.. something that i’m REALLY suprised disney let them get away with as they had to fight for gays in the series.. but at the same time shouldn’t be because hunchback of notre dame exists and Soul , released the same year, was a big gamble against the bible belt. So their not afriad of religious groups.. but they ARE afraid of homophobic groups.. which have a lot of overlap. 

Point is it’s a good storytelling device.. and cathartic given i’ve been playing Fire Emblem: Three Houses as I finally bought it with some christmas money. Good game, probably will talk about it in the future, not the point here. 

The point is that the visit gives us some worldbuilding that helps show just how much of a threat the coven is and why their so intent on capturing Eda. We also finally meet belos, god emperor and man tired of Lillith’s shit and giving her till twilight to get Eda.. or presumibly die. I mean he dosen’t say it but he sure is implying it as loud as he can.  That’s when things go pear shaped for Luz who finds the hat.. and LIlith who has found her barganing chip to lure Eda to her, which works as well as you’d expect and leads to the best figh tin the series thus far and one of , if not it’s best scene; A duel between edith and lilith. And while they fought back in Covention this time  it’s not a petty squabble between siblings masquerading as one trying to capture the other.. it’s  fight NEITHER can afford to loose. Eda can’t loose her protege and Lilith will loose everything, dying at best being cast out of the coven at worst, if she fails not to mention loosing what she feels is her only chance at saving her sister.  But it’s also VERY clear Lilith is groosly outmatched, and while no slouch herself Eda’s constant bragging about being “the most powerful witch on the boiling isles”.. is entirely backed up. Lilith barely is able to hold herself and only gets ahead by using a child as a shiled, going even lower than her sister. However the stress of this, the build of having been the older sister of someone who constantly outshined her then turned entirely against her, finally causes lilith to snap.. and reveal the curse is her fault. Cissy Jones delivery here.. is jsut perfect, showing a mixture of rage and pain, showing that she’s spent YEARS hiding this, years resenting her sister for constnatly being better desptie working harder and doing the right thigns. Even when she’s trying to HELP Eda, genuinely trying to undo her mistake as we find out and as we’ve seen genuinely sees the emperor as the wise and benevlolent god he portrays himself as.. she can’t let it go. SHe can’t see past her own bitterness to see her sister is right and if she could just let this go and work on Eda’s terms instead of forcing Eda into her world, then maybe it wouldn’t of gotten this bad. Maybe she could’ve told her. 

Eda takes it about as well as you’d expect, and Lilith.. uses this to threaten luz’s life and force eda to use up her magic to save her, leading to the series most heartbreaking moment and Wendy Mallick’s best acting so far as she bids her appretnince a tearful farewell. Luz RIGHTFULLY and angrily lashes out at lilith calling her a monster while Lilith takes Eda and urges luz to go home... and after a tearful ending with king realizing something’s deeply wrong.

So thus next episode after a history lesson from king and some suprisinging caution as he KNOWS what Luz is up against.. Luz still decides she dosne’t care. Eda’s sacrificed herself, to Luz it’s her fault she’s in this which while KINDA accurate missues some fine points such as her sister’s stubborness or the fact had lilith not shown up she could’ve taken the hat. And the fact LIlith saying the hat was junk was pretty unreliable. What i’m saying is maybe the child shoudln’t blame herself for being kidnapped while genuinely tring to reach the same goal. 

But Lilith soon learns to her horror her sister was right. While Belos restores Eda’ss sentience even fully owled.. he has no intrest in helping her, eveyr intrest in publicly petrifying her, and not even the slightest hint of remorse at betraying lilith this deeply. After all her faith in the man.. Belos spat in her face and told her to like it.  Meanwhile Luz goes on the warpath, and we see just how far she’s come.. and WHY Belos is probably so restrictive with magic and put it on such a tight leash: we see that with her natural power and just a handful of spells, the four she’s pciked up over the season, she easily curbstomps the conformotrium staff, gets to Eda fairly easily.. and fines sshe can’t free her and eda wants the door destroyed so whatever Belos wants with it, he can’t have it. Luz heads home, ready to destroy the door.. onlyt of ind two things. her magic dosen’t work there.. and Lilith followed her and grabbed king. After a breif fight and Luz angrily and rightously confroting the asshole, wish she was in Eda’s place.. Lilith admits luz’s right and gives her backstory: That her insecurity was so great that on the day before a duel with Eda to determine who got into the emperoror’s coven, she curfsed her own sister, with no idea it’d last this long or get this bad. And with no idea Eda had lost intrest in it and WILLINGLY gave her sister teh spot.. It’s very clear despite her masssive flaws that will need to be adressed.. lilith never stopped caring about her sister, and it took all this to make her realize that trying to fix the mistake on HER terms without including her sister.. instead has almost cost her it.  So Luz and King relucntnatly take her help, though the other two are quickly capatured when theyt ry to get to hte exceution platform and thrown in the cage with Eda.. which dosne’t help the coven’s reputation as gus and willow try to make a case for Eda. Meanwhile we get the SECOND best fight of the series as Luz challenges Bellows.. and it’s UTTERLY chillling and while he’s had scenes before this it’s here we get the true scope of who he is ..and that like eda the god complex is something he can back up. Whlie Luz proves just how strong she’s gotten by keeping up with him it’s barely, and it’s clear from the moment go, and one of the series best shots, with Belos creeply materlizing behind her before announcing “sure, i’ll play” that this is a game. She’s no challenge to him and he simply wants to see waht she can do and is mildly impressed if a tad annoyed at her actually damaging his mask. But with Eda, King and Lilith’s lives in the ballance the only way Luz can save htem.. is to give him waht he wants. 

Thing is, just like Lilith, just like everyone has, good an dbad all season.... Belos undereesitmated luz.. who left fire runes on the door, willnig to sacrifice ever seeing her mom again if it meant keeping him away from her. While he has no invasion planned whatever it is CANNOT be good. Luz saves them, and Eda flies them off with Belos saying the titan dismissed them. Also that Belos has a big penis.. super huge, size of a tractor that one. Yeah that’s the ticket. 

But we get  a happyish ending as LIlith does what she should’ve done a long time ago and apologizes, and Eda starts to fogive her, brought on by King earlier standing up to her as whle he’s not happy with her either, he realizes from her story she’s not a bad person.. just a very messed up one who couldn’t own up to her mistakes. One who belivied in the wrong person to fix her problem and finally takes repsonsiblity and part of the curse into her. So with the sequel hook of Eda having lost her internal magic power but still being able to use glyph’s like luz, we also find out the Emperor has the door and a mysterious masked minon,.. who i’m fairly certain isn’t amity only because it’s too obvious. This is simply how you end a season: It’s engaging, heartbreaking, well animated and pays off EVEYRHTING so far while setting up the season to come. It’s going to be a LONG wait till next time, mid-this year.. but I can wait. The high from this one’s going to last a while. 

7. Good Damage (Bojack Horseman)  “ That means that all the damage I got isn't good damage. It's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could have been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for?! “

Bojack Horseman is one of the best shows of the last decade, and an important one to me. it was the first one I watched when we switched to all streaming. I really related to Bojack and his struggles with depresion and self loathing.. which backfired given he’s a much worse person than me and while I could relate, I also compared myself too much to a character who in retrospect is both far worse  and has FAR MORE issues than I do and diffrent ones at that outside of the depression and self hatred.  The point i’m framing is that the series and I have a complicated relationship and that coupled with how bad 2020 was meant it took until a few days ago to finally finish it, almost a year later. But I cannot deny how good the show is: it has faults, a bit of reptititon in some character arcs, casting a white woman as a Vietnamize-American woman (something both Ralph Paul Waskerberg and Alison Brie have apologized for to their credit), and .. I can’t think of a last one. They never brought Ralph back? Yeah let’s go with that one what the fuck there. So I felt I owed the show one last round and it payed off as the final stretch, while easily the hardest to get through due to covering the collapse of Bojack’s life, is easily one of it’s best. 

But before the fall, we get Good Damage, which instead of focusing on BoJack focuses on Diane, said asian woman voiced by a white lady, neurotic writer and Bojack’s best friend, who has moved to Chicago to be with her boyfriend guy, a chill, charasmatic and likeable buffalo cameraman. Things are going better than they ever have: she’s in a supportive relationship and thanks to her antidipresenants, while still her loveably neurotic self, is now not obessing over shit as much and is solving her problems with applomb. Even the weight gain from her meds, which she dreaded in the previous half of the season.. has insteead only made her look healthier and happier, and more beautiful than ever. 

The only problem is she can’t write her long promised Memoir, which Princess Carlolyn, her former boss, agent and loveable pink cat and single mother, has promised to a lot of celebrities. She TRIES, she puts lots of work into it, keeps trying to sit there but nothing comes out. And what makes the episode truly great is how this is presented. Bojack is no stranger to beautiful, visually diverse episodes, Stupid Peace of Shit being a notable example and one similar to this one but uniquely great in it’s own way, but this one is easly the bes,t using a squiggly crude style to show just how chaotic and uncomfortable diane is and how stuck she is. She’s TRYING, but she just can’t make her life’s story into anything GOOD, she can’t get the words out which as someone whose had reams of projects I never startd, even to this day and who has genuine trouble writing fiction.... I related to this like all hell. But even people who have never had an intrest in writng can just get the feeling thanks to the wonderful writing and animation, from cameos by the rest of the cast to Diane’s father showing up as a goblin to the word boxes showing what she’s writtne it’s just a treat.  But what centers this amazing visual represtnation is Diane’s internal struggles as an encounter with a rude sales person leads her off on a tangent..and to Ivy Tran, a teen detective whose upbeat, optimstic, and in a great bit outlines who she is in jsut the right amount, and solves mysteries in a food court. It’s a genuinely good idea, one I honestly think could support it’s own series... seriously get on that Ralph-Bob. Get on that. Point is it’s good.. but Diane’s so hung up on what she SHOULD be making, she can’t see what’s right in front of her, despite guy saying the passages are good.  Things come to a head when Diane makes a huge mistake and goes off her meds.. which from experince never ends well: for the entire episode she’s been under the impression she can’t write because of them.. only to be proven HORRIFYINGLY wrong. It’s a  VERY necessary aseop: that your medication will always be with you and that going off it suddenly, or blaming it for writers block not only isn’t true but is DANGEROUS. Diane spirals, cries and her writing gets dark and full of self hate. It’s then Guy proves just how fucking majestic he is: he figures out what’s going on after she tells him, and helps her get to bed so she can rest, puke whatever she needs and they’ll talk about things after she takes her meds again and gets her head on straight, when she’s in a good place to do so. As someone with mental illness.. ti’s nice to see a character who not only supports someone fully, but knows how to handle it. Instead of a shitty third act breakup like many shows would do guy stands by her.  He does however step SLIGHTLY over the line, if iwth good intentions and reason and send Princess Carolyn the Ivy Tran pages, because as he puts it he made an executive decision.. and when Diane is a bit annoyed by that as it does sound a tad douchey, he rightly points out she was in a really bad hole of a place, stuck in a loop doign something that even before going off her meds was clearly hurting her and going nowhere, and needed SOMETHING to snap her out of it, and did so not to hurt her or because he thought he knkew better or , like her ex husband, because he was oblvious to her needs; he did it because it was the hard but necessary thing to get her to seee she had something special and that she dosen’t have to constnatly tear herself up by diving into past traumas because of some internal obligation. 

Naturally Diane dosen’t take it despite Princess Carolyn not only being impressed but PREFERRING the ivy pages, as she was genuinely unaware Diane had something so happy and charming in her. While Diane is worried about it when the two end up meeting in person, we soon find out why: If all the damage she went through wasn’t “good” damage, things she could writ eabout and use later.. what was it for? Could she of just been happy this whole time? Did she waste her life. And in a rare moment betwen the two PC helps Diane walk it back, explaning that she can do what she always wanted: write something that makes someone like her feel not alone. That she dosen’t HAVE to make her life story into something complicated, just make what makes her and other people happy. Something PC’s daughter could enjoy one day. So Diane finally accepts that maybe there’s something else for her.. and then we get a segue into the next episode with bojack having a panic attack and pasing out but that episode, good as it was didn’t make it so moving on.  We also check in with Penny, the daughter of an old friend of bojacks who he nearly slept with and is stil haunted both by the decision and a drunken later visit to apologize... which isn’t helped remotely when max and page, two reporters inovlved in teh subplot that tears bojack’s life apart, start hounding her. While they have good intentions, exposing Bojack’s connection to Sarah Lynn’s death, the two’s methods still come off as creepy, following a, at this point , 21 year old girl whose been through ENOUGH home. While the two aren’t terrible people their actions.. are.. while getting hte story ismprotant is it truly worth genuinely harming this person. And penny wonders if she SHOULD air her story.. she ends up not.. but only because her mother, while lettiner he decide, poitns out it may not be worth all the pressure and possible trauma it digs up,especially since Bojack is getting what he deserved anyway. IT’s a decent subplot tha tties up a loose end but really makes our journalist characters feel like assholes for again, basically stalking and harassing a young woman who didn’t want to rehash the worst moment of her life. Otherwise top notch stuff. 

6. Heart (Parts 1 and 2) (She Ra and the Princesses of Power) “Don't you get it? I love you! I always have! So please, just this once... STAY! Stay. “

Now we get to the gays winning.. and to one of the best series finale in recent memory. And given the other two titanic shows ending, one of which we’ll get to’s ending in a moment, last year, it’s a huge compliment. Heart is how you end a space opera... with big wonderful speeches, great payoff, a huge climax.. and a beautiful cathartic kiss paying off the relationship at the heart of the series that ends up saving the universe.  So let’s just go ahead and crack open that pinata: The kiss.. was easily one of the best moments of animation this year and, at a time when the quarantine was starting, misery was spreading, and things looked pretty damn bad, having a major animated show, one of the biggest of the last few years, climax with an emotional moment between two women, one the series had been setting up since day 1... it was a huge step foward for gay representation in children’s animation, and warmed my big bi heart. And it’s not just good because of that: the fact it’s a giant pile of representation is wonderous, but it’s because it’s also well baked into the show. This is the conclusion of both their character arcs: Catra finally realizes Adora will not abandon her and her leaving the Horde was not choosing them over her.. it was simply doing the right thing. So instead of running or trying to escape she’s grown enough to fight for what she wants and fight for a future with Adora.  Adora meanwhile finally overcomes her martyer complex, her determination, especially after Angela’s death, to make sure no one else is gone and she’s the only one that suffers and looses. To make sure there’s nothing else. It’s Catra’s confesssion that FINALLY gets it through her thick skull that she dosen’t have to be alone or bear anything alone.. she’ll always have someone with her to do that.. and even before Catra.. she’s always had friends for that. She dosen’t have to be alone. So the two embrace and it’s fucking beautiful..and gives adora the full power of the doomsday device they went to shutdown in the first place, restoring the planet.. and allowing her to destroy horde prime’s fucking soul. I just want to reiterate that because it understandably got lost in the shuffle of the gays winning, but our heroine fucking tears out the main villian’s soul.. and it is SO damn satisfying given what a truly repulsive , irredemible, asshat Prime was. So the two finally get a future together, a chance to build and to stop letting the past define them. It’s wide open.  But while that alone would probably net it on this list but it’s damn good otherwise, an epic final struggle between our heroes and the horde for the fate of not just their planet but ALL of htem as Prime prepares to finally wipe everything else out in egomanical genocide. There are just.. tons of awesome moments in this one: Bow and Glimmer’s suprising but welcome love confession, Seahawk annoying mermista into fighting her chip, the people of etheria fighting back.. and the reason they do is easily the second best moment of the episode. With the chips down, not literally, and things looking bleak Bow hyjacks Prime’s egoamnacial hologram.. and broadcasts for everyone to fight, to fight back, and to END THIS. After spending most of the series as the one trying to keep his friends together, the glue of everyone.. it’s bow’s heart, courage, and voice, the one that lead his friends through some rough times and severed as reason when they needed it most wether they listned or not.. that frees the world and with Entrapta turns the tide at long last. It’s just a hell of a moment.  And the only other moment equaling it is Hordak freeing himself and deciding he is his own man, he made himself tha tway for better and worst and kills prime, at least before adora finsihes the job with the badass “I am HORDAK and I DEFY your will. “ It’s just a wonderful, epic finale that pays off most of the shows major arcs, gives our heroes a MUCH deserved happy ending after spending their lives at war, and let it be said one last time, gave gay representation in children’s cartoon one hell of a win.

5. Nice While it Lasted (Bojack Horseman) 

“ No, I need to tell you... thank you... and... it's going to be okay... and... I'm sorry... and... thank you... “

Back to back finales here and honestly both are REALLY close in quality, both satisfyingly paying off their series. But both take equal and opposite routes: Heart is an epic finale in scope size and impact... while Nice While it Lasted is a very stripped down character piece: there are other characters in the background but after the intro the only voiced characters in each segment are Bojack and one of the main cast, each one both showing how much said relationship has evolved since the show began, and giving Bojack time to reflect on his possible future. I say possible because one of Nice While it Lasted’s best aspects it that there’s no real concrete ending for Bojack. Ther’es still closure: after his life emploded and he nearly died, more on that in a bit, Bojack ended up in prison, offically for breaking and entering but unoffically for all the shitty things he did with him glumly accepting it. So one year later he’s out thanks to Princess Carolyn for her wedding, sober again thanks to prison and even started his own acting class at the prison he’s geninley invested in, inteding to continue it once he gets out. But otherwise.. his future’s in flux. HE’s sober for now, but he’s painfully aware that could change again, his friends while, with one excpetion, still having a place for him in their lives, have moved on, and his career is on the upswing again despite being a pariah a year ago because as I mentioned earlier and as PC brilliantly puts it

So he could become a better man, get his career back, make amends for what he did and stay sober.. or backslide and fall down into the same traps he always has. It plays into an aseop the series has always preached: There are no real endings, life just goes on. Even for the rest of the cast hteir lives aren’t over.. their just in a good place.. maybe bojack will, maybe he won’t. Tha’ts up to the indvidual viewer and I like that. While ambgious endings can be frustrating and I get while some preferred the more concrete if still somewhat ambgious ending of a view from halfway down, I feel this fits the series better: Bojack, like the end of every season is moving on to something new, but this time we don’t know what, and that’s okay. IT’s time for us to move on.  Well okay not from this entry as each vingette deserves some praise: Our first has Mr. Peanutbutter pick up Bojack from prison, and even get him a new suit.. and then another one offscreen because predictably for his life BOjack got meatball all over it. He also calms our hero down when he wants to go back to jail, letting him know it’s okay and he’ll be there for him.. unless his friend Erica shows up but what are the odds... 1:1. But what’s nice about it is while Bojack still makes jabs, it’s clear he’s gone from truly hating and resenting PB for being the betterversion of him.. to truly seeing the guy as one of his best friends, his jabs having gone from hurtful and bitter to wry and warranted. I mean they were warranted a lot back then too he’s just a lot softer about them. 

At the wedding Todd and Bojack finally reach some form of understanding after years of awkwardness, the two having reconclied but not being really remotely close or in each other’s lives hardly anymore after Todd’s understandable blow up at Bojack in “It’s You”. Here Todd has Bojack rush him to the beach to cary him on his shoulders.. to watch fireworks because he could tell he was overhwelmed, the two having found a rhtym again, with, like with mr peanutbutter, Bojacks jabs being a lot friendler and Todd having a respect for his own needs while actually being present for bojack instead of ignorant of how bad things were like he was at the start. He even helps BOjack see even if he DOES replase.. he can get right back on the horse, couldn’t resist that one sue me, and as the hokey pokey says turn himself around. 

After, in one of the best payoffs of the series, finally trying Hondedew and finding it’s not so bad, Bojack dances with PC, admittingh e half hoped he’d have to help her go thorugh with it before the two run through the scenario, and PC expresses some honest fears with bojack helping her showing how the two hav egone from a horribly stiffing relationship.. to two close friends who are probably stuck with one another for life. Sunk costs and all that. And if bojack does want to act again she knwos some people. But for now PC finally really has everything she ever wanted:: A daughter, and a loving husband in judah. 

Finally we have the most painful of the group because of course the Bojack finale wouldn’t be all sugar and would have to punch us in the gut. Bojack finds Diane again who hasn’t talked to him.. because he called her the night of his near death/sucidide and due to putting the blame on her due to being high out of his mind, made her feel like it was his fault during the 7 hours she could reach no one and thought he was dead. Diane is hurt, feeling betrayed that bojack promsied he’d be fine then possibly left her with the pain of his death on her concious forever. Thankfully she’s doing fine, as she’s now married guy and Ivy Tran is a huge success and probably a series now.. but it’s abudnantly clear her friendship with Bojack is over.. but even this bittersweet, and necessary, seperation, as Diane has moved past LA and Bojack needs to stop relying on her and stand on his own two hooves, still warms the heart as she thanks him and lets him know i’tll be okay, and endugles him in telling her one last story, a rathe rfunny one about prison movie night bfore the series ends on the melancholy and apporriate song mr blue as the two gaze out and they see each other and we see them for the last time. 

4 The Wasteland (Infinity Train) 

“I'm as good as dead, and if my last act is to bring you with me, sliver, I can't imagine a better way to go!” “Well, I can! “

So from a bittersweet ending to holy shit that’s depressing, we have our only entry from Infnity Train on the list. That’s not to say the series did bad this year. Season 2 was easily the series finest hour, taking the framework from season 1 and crafting a gripping story of a teenage mirror person who just wanted to live without assholes trying to kill her for what she fundementally IS, and be recognized as a person, with the help of a magical deer and a more optimstic teen grappling with his peer pressure issues.  The series was still undoubtly silly with a parasite voiced by Bill Corbett, wonderfully so, and again a magical deer named Alan Dracula, long may he reign, it simply deconstructed the nature of the train and thus opened up the floodgates. By giving us a denzin who, after years of being someone’s reflection in both senses of the word, just wanted to live and how that clashed with the train and the racist assholes she met alnong the way, from the ones who wouldnt’ stop trying to kill her.. to humans who considered her as nothing more than a plaything at best and something to get rid of at worst. While Season 3 was not bad, if a bit way too strcuturally messy and trying to do too much at once, Season 2 still handled the same issues but in a much tighter frame storywise.  And that’s why only one episode made it: Most of the episodes, espicially the later ones, are pieces of a large whole, with the show being heavily seralized. Which while a great approach intended for streaming, also means it was hard to find a chapter that worked that well on it’s own, steven universe future had similar issues. But I did and the wasteland is easily the darkest, harshest and most intresting episode out of the batch.  The episode opens at MT’s darkest hour: The apex told the mirror police where she is, Jesse is gone, and MT is now running for her life from the sadstic assshole and his spinless partner who want her dead just for existing.. gee can’t imagine why a bunch of assholes refusing ot acknolwedge other peoples opinons, rights or even existance was a big topic last year.. or this year. 

So while Mace, the main mirror cop, manages to handcuff her MT manages to throw him under the train. THe result is her trying to escape the train by wondering i’ts vast desert, forced to drag Mace along as he taunts her, bleeding out slowly from you know being bisected by a train. It’s a really moody peace as Mace mock’s mt’s dreams of escape and justify’s his own selling out, while MT pokes holes in that: he was so desperate to not nonexist.. he’s willing to kill others who just want the same. IT’s a damn hard watch but fuck if i’ts not compelling. 

And the climax is what makes it. MT finds out she can’t leave the bounds of the wasteland, as it only projects so far and after escaping the ghoms ends up back on the train, with Mace, not long fo rthis world trying to kill her.. so we get a 13-14 year old GRINDING HER HORRIFYING ABUSER UNDER A TRAIN WHEEL. Just jesus.. I mean I kind of get HBO Max’s point that MAYBE this is a bit much for kids. I mean i’ve seen other really dark stuff but holy fuck a man died.. and we see his blood splatter. But it’s this horrible, harsh moment that makes the episode.. as is MT”s reaction.. not one of triumph.. but of exaustion and horror at what she’s done, before steadying herself to prove him wrong. A hard one to write about but damn it was good. 

3. Enchanting Grom Fright (The Owl House)  “Dear Luz, will you go to Grom with me- Amity”  Now we THANKFULLY get to something lighter: the gays winning.. again. Coming out during pride month, phrasing, and only a month after the she ra finale we got this delightful episode. As I said earlier I watched this one first run: while I was super behind, I couldn’t resisit to the point I watched it before that week’s amphibia. I was that curious what was going to happen.  See as i’ve given out about quite a lot.. and I mean a LOT, Disney dosen’t have the best track record with gay representation: they don’t do horrible sterotypes or anything.. but they also don’t do much of anything for the most part. Alex Hirsch has outright spoke about how much he had to fight just to get Blubbs and Durland firmly together in the finale, and how the symbols for the love god were widdled down to just male and female. And around the time this episode came Disney was coming out of a REALLY bad batch of pr stunt gay representation: They made a big deal about the first gay x in an x having gay characters in avengers endgame, star wars: Deep Hurting and onward.. but these were cameos AT BEST, with the endgame one being so minor I genuinely didn’t realize the character was talking about dating a man and only found out afterwords. Sure Ducktales had gay dads, which is awesome and always will be.. but none of the major cast was allowed to be openly gay. I mean we know webby and lena are gay but hell if disney would allow that.  But miracoulsy.. shockingly and wonderfully.. Disney DID mange to finally just say fuck it and let some big gay rep in, something so obvious it can’t be ignored and that actually features the main character and one of the most major supporting characters. And what do you know, the good press and pats on the back outweighed the bad. It’s almost if giving up homophobic markets in exchange for doing the right thing.. is a GOOD thing while also being profable. Who’d a thunk. Point is via sheer perstiance, Owl House creator Dana Terrance got to not only make her lead bi, which Terrance herself is, but have her love intrest be a girl. And I find it genuinely wonderful that gay, bi, pan and what have you children can watch this and say “tha’ts me and this is okay”.  But even minus Owl House saying gay rights.. the episode is just REALLY good and part of it is who it focuses on. Amity easily has the most character devleopment out of the cast going from someone who walls herself off from everyone, revels in her superiority.. to slowly opening up to heroine Luz, realizing Luz is not a bad person and that Amity herself dosen’t have to be, and right before this starting the road to patching things up with her former best friend willow. Allt hrough this said friendship had been prettty, prettyy, prettyyy gay. And that’s wonderful obviously, but part of why I watched this was while I HOPED they’d get to be couple.. I wasn’t convinced since see a fucking bove. But I was happy to realize that oh my god I was wrong, the gays won all along. 

So with Amity a better person she’s naturally syampthetic when sh’es put front and center at hexside’s prom equvilent which while having a dance, gromprosals and a disco ball tha’ts also a sentient being, becuase boiling isles, it also has the queen or king forced to fight a horrifying monster that manfiests as your greatest fear. And, as we find out towards the end.. Amity’s is being rejected by Luz, having her love letter, which she fails to deliver due to running into luz.. and co (which is my faviroite gag of the episode and the adorable smiles gus and willow give in response are what make it). And . it makes sense. When you stop and think about it.. Luz is the best thing in her life. She got her to change as a person, genuinely cares about and adores her, just wants to be her friend and thinks the world of her. Given her siblings, while trying to be better, are two disaster bisexuals who just stopped a lifetime of untietonally harsh bullying and her parents are controlling asshats who made her abandon her best friend at a young age and she sees LILITH as a mother figure, just let that sink in given a few entires back.. yeah.. no wonder sh’es utterly terrified of rejection. Poor baby. 

Of course WE know Luz wouldn’t. Luz may be many things, including oblvioius to thte freaking obvoius as this story line has revealed, but shes not cruel and even if she said no, which I higlhly doubt she would, she woudln’t be a dick about it. But being surrounded by cruel assholes for some time has made Amity a bit paranoid so Luz volunteers to sub in to both genuinely help her friend.. and to prove to eda she can do this. Eda is also chaperoning. and looks neat in a suit, while King and Gus get a wonderful b plot of mcing the dance with the egotisticl king having issues with stage fright. I will get more into that when I review the episode proper, come back in a month for that.  But yeah while Luz does well when the time comes, and while sadly not wearing her otter suit does wear a wonderful tuxedo with a tutu.. she has her own repressed issues to adress as Grom takes the form of her mother, as Luz has been nursing guilt over not telling her the truth about what’s going on. Luz runs, and Amity ends up facing her fear to save her crush and the two get a wonderfully romantic, and desturctive dance together as they face hteir fear, untie as one and kill that motherfucker... well okay i’m not sure grom can die but it’s gone for now.  The dance sequence.. is easily one of the best scene’s all year, beauituflly animated and painstakingly planned out, with wonderful music.. it’s just awesome and what takes the episode ove rthe top, with the two perfeclty in synch as they take grom out in less than a minute. Also king become prom king and queen, he is best of both as Luz’s own personal issues put a damper on things. Also someone’s been writing her mom. 

Overall just a perfect episoe and a perfectly gay episode of one of the best shows going right now. Speaking of a perfect episode of one of the best shows going right now, tha’ts also on disney. 

2. Escape From the Impossibin! (Ducktales)  ”We have to keep them safe” “But not like this!”  So from some emotinal torment mixed with some lovely shipping, we get a whole buttload of emotional anguish but with a robotic scrooge and the time loop room and the time loop room and the time loop room, and time l...

As I said in part 1, Season 3 is easily Ducktales best so far, having far better pacing, character ballance and bolder and more intresting stories than ever before. While the first two seasons are still excellent, this one has taken everything great and honed it and no episode shows off just how great this season is than this one.  This one takes place in the fallout of “Let’s Get Dangerous!”, with the family dealing with finding out FOWL”s not only still alive, but is run by Bradford, head of scrooge’s board of directors former shush agent as we’d find out later, and asshole, who knows all their secrets. And given Scrooge is mildly paranoid on a good day and Beakly is extremley paranoid on her best day, it’s done a number on both as they’ve split the family minus launchpad, who just had a whole episode so fair enough, up: Scrooge has taken Della and Louie, wiht their see all the angels schtick, to test out his new security, while Beakly and Donald are securing the house while Beakly has webby throughly test the boys.  Neither side goes well. The bin ends up locking our heroes out due to Scrooge’s password being changed, and forcing them to work past it. Louie rises to the challenge, as does della.. but as they beat a robot versoin of scrooge, because of course the final test would be a robot version of scrooge, Scrooge is instead of triumphant at not being dead, incredibly depressed and furious. Because when told he’s scrooge mcduck he tellingly replies “AND WHAT IF THAT’S NTO ENOUGH’. For once.. Scrooge is SCARED, up against someone who knows his every move and is one step ahead, iti’s how it’s always been, no matter what he’ll do, he’ll always loose and Bradford will always win. I REALLY need to watch spies are forever, point is he’s scared and Bradford PROVING the point by revealing he was behind it and taking over the robot dosen’t help. Our heroes win though in a damn impressive action sequence, but as it turns out.. it was just a distraction.. but we’llg et back to that.  The other plot though is whyt his is so high. While the first plot is a fun romp with deep eomtional consequences.. the second plot is decidly far darker.. it still has some good bits as webby terorizes the boys and easily one of the best in the season when she horrifying imitates dewey, but its’ only when she does finally attack she realizes she’s taken it way toof ar. She’s terrorized her brothers, caused huey to break his leg and then turn her away when she tries to help.. all she’s done is turn them AGAINST each other and they can’t win this way.  Beakly strongly disagrees and clealry lost in her own paranoia and fear, prepares to attack huey.. and thus Webby steps in... leading to one fo the most heartbreaking and tense fights in the series as grandmother and grandaughter fight one on one but both are outmatched.. but Huey and Dewey, despite everything, refuse not to help their sister and help pull webby up, with Webby panickidly realizing something’s VERY wrong and her granny usually isn’t like this when sparring... and is also chasing them. This leads to the roof, in a rainstorm no less, and Webby relcutnatnly ready to fight even though she clearly knows she both can’t win.. and dosen’t want to anymore. Despite her wilingless to scrap, fight and train.. Webby dosen’t WANT to hurt her granny she just wants to help her. Thankfully, the boys attempt to stop this, while failing horribly, catches donald’s attention as he catches them, ntocies what’s going on and furiously refuses to let this go on. While Beakly tries to ignore it and fight..s he instead slips and despite everything, the rest of the group rescue her, with Webby impressing on her grandmother that they aren’t fowl. They wont’ win acting like them and tearing each other apart.. they need to be the family they are.  But if all that wasn’t enough turns out.. yeah, Bradford’s thing was a distraction and with the rest of the group distracted with Beakly, that meant his plan went off without a hitch: all the missing mysteries have been taken by FOWL, in a masterstorke that ties both plots together and brings what seemed like isolated adventures on their own in a tagnetally related plot into the fore. Everything so far has built up to this.. and despite the loss.. the family, having been through a dark night of the soul, is ready to fight back. They want the rest of the mysteries? Their going to have to fight clan mcduck in their elment. And it’s been glorious so far. A tense, well paced, hard hitting episode, this one’s a winner. and almost got #1.. ALMOST. But as much as I tried to not go with the obvious chocie, the one with tons of press and praise and that’s graced tons of best of lists... I had to go with what was honestly the best. So...

1. The View from Halfway Down (BoJack Horseman)  “Oh BoJack, there is no other side. This is it. “  This episode was my main reason for catching up with the series and finishing it off once and for all. Awash with praise and hype I was curious about this one.. and my curiosity paid off. This is easily one of if not hte best episodes Bojack put out in it’s storied run: it’s creative, impossible to look away from and devistating: in short it’s the show in a nutshell.. and it’s a hell of a view. 

Previously as mentioned before Bojack’s life blew up and he lost just about everything, from his friends, though as the finale bared out only one of them stayed away for good and for good reason, his only family in hollyhock, his house, even horsin around. He had nothing left.. so high on drugs and in his old house he passed out at the end of last episode.. and we wake up here with a recurring dream as Bojack has a dinner party at his mother’s house, another wonderful performance from Wendy Mallick. Everyone there is someone Bojack knew who died: his former best friend he betrayed Herb, Sarah Lynn his former child co start turned washed up 30 something he let die, Courdory, a co star who died trying to get off david caradine style, Crackerjacke, the uncle he never knew who die din the war and his parents, distant mother Beatrice as mentioned and his father, who is in the body of his hero secretariat who comited suiccide in this unvierse due to getting banned from racing, as that’s the kind of weird shit dreams do. Also Zack Braff, who has no real conncetion to bojack but still died during that time Mr Peanutbutters house sunk into the earth and his ex wife Jesscia bIel formed a death cult.  The group play a game of best and worst, lay into each ohter and have some really intresting conversations with Bojack confident of when it’ll end: before the show their always mentioing. But this time, it’s diffrent.. Bojack is there for it so we get a trippy and horrifyimng stage show as Bojack watches the various people one by one vo into a black door, allt he while bojack coughts up sludge and is persued by it, unaware where he was before this. Sarah Lynn gives one last song, a reprise of a song from previous in the series, Courdroy does a ribbon dance and zack braff gets on roller skates. And bojack has a frank conversation with his dad, with his dad/secretariat revealing he DID care but was just so filled with loathing he coudlnt’ admit it to his son and thus was an abusive ass.. and then reveals to bojack he’s not waking up and bojack horryfigngly see shimself, drowning ina pool. And while he frantically, heartbreakingly tries to flee... he can’t. There’s no exit for him. As herb tells him, this isn’t the afterlife, this is his brain making sense of his last moments, and ther’es no way of knowing if he’ll get rescued, no way to do anything but watch.. watch as his father secretairat shows suicide in all it’s horror by letting it know he wouldn’t of done it if he knew “the view fro halfway down”, a horrifingly haunting poem that sells just how bad it was. As beatrice and crackerjack also go we’re down to herb who introduces bojack... before going in himself, claming there is no other side. Bojack tries not to go genle and runs, and in a horrfying sequence is surronded by the ooze as he tries his damndest to escape.. but in the end he can’t. As herb said.. he can’t do anything about this. So speaking to his min’ds version of diane he accepts he probbaly won’t be coming back and we hear a monitor as we fade out. While we know it’s not the end now... there’s no way of telling then. 

The View from Halfway Down is a haunting, beatuflly animated, masterwork, taking 6 seasons worth of communinity and regret and shoving it in bojack’s face in an intresting way, while bringing back characters we thought we’d never see again for one last go round. It was patcually nice to hear LIn Manuel Miranda and Wendy Mallick again,, and Kristan Schaal is always great. The show ALWAYS had a horrifying habit of having it’s penutlimate episode be an utter gutpunch that broke you, with the finale picking up the peices and offering some hope.. and this was no exception. They literally saved the best for last, and it was worth the wait. The view from halfway down may be gahstly,.. but the view of this episode is hauntingly beautiful. 

So that was the list, and it was.. a lot taking 2-3 days to finish all together over both parts. But it was worth it and hopefully we can get back to some regular stuff later today. For now, thank you for reading, and hopefully i’ll see you somewhere in the sunset. 

[springsteenicious]

WRITING PLAYLIST #2 of 5

This one is for @those70scomics‘ fic, Jackie Stargazer (ao3 / ffnet). Keep in mind, I put this together. None of these songs are approved by MistyMountainHop, I just think they fit the vibe of her excellent fic. And I would like her to know that she has veto power over this playlist, meaning that if there is a song she feels does not fit on this playlist, she can tell me to take it off :D 

I will also be adding to this as more of the story is published. Each time I add to it, I’ll make a post with the tag ‘Jackie Stargazer Playlist,’ so if you don’t want to see these, block that tag. 

Listen to the playlist on Spotify! (Let me know if that link doesn't work, Spotify was being weird.)

Number of songs on the playlist (currently): 24 songs

Bands/artists: Cheap Trick, Deep Purple, Ezra Furman, The Kinks, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Pink Floyd, Rainbow, Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow, The Dead Daisies, Black Sabbath 

Significant Songs: All. So, under the cut is my explanation for each song, or just the important lyrics. 

Downed by Cheap Trick - I’m gonna live on a mountain / way down under in Australia / it’s either that or suicide / its such a strange strain on you / Ooh, I got a mind / Over you it's not the first time / Ooh, I got a mind

Mean Streak by Deep Purple - This song is about Ro. It’s a kickass song and the lyrics fit her (and Hyde) very well. --- She drive me crazy gets inside my brain / She spun my money down the drain, ohh / So I roll over for my reward / How much can I afford? / She says, "Just a little more" --- I can't take this no more / Tried so hard but I can't get through the door / Because one smile from those eyes / And I stand there paralyzed / And she says, "You better beg for more I mean / Get down sucker you know what I like"

Perfect Strangers by Deep Purple - I am returning / The echo of a point in time / A distant face that shines --- I am the echo of your past

Black Night by Deep Purple - The whole song is relevant to Jackie. 

The Queen Of Hearts by Ezra Furman - See this post. 

Destroyer by The Kinks - Again, relevant to Jackie. --- She said, man, there's really something wrong with you / One day you’re gonna self-destruct / You're up, you're down, I cant work you out / You get a good thing going then you blow yourself out / Silly boy, ya self-destroyer / Silly boy, ya self-destroyer / Silly boy, you got so much to live for / So much to aim for, so much to try for / You blowing it all with paranoia / You're so insecure, you self-destroyer

Serve The Servants by Nirvana - Teenage angst has paid off well / Now I'm bored and old / Self-appointed judges judge / More than they have sold --- Serve the servants / That legendary divorce is such a bore / As my bones grew they did hurt / They hurt really bad / I tried hard to have a father / But instead I had a dad / I just want you to know that I / Don't hate you anymore / There is nothing I could say / That I haven't thought before

Heart-Shaped Box by Nirvana - Just. This song is so good. And can be very easily applied to JS. --- She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak / I've been locked inside your heart-shaped box for weeks / I've been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap / I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black --- Meat-eating orchids forgive no one just yet / Cut myself on angel hair and baby's breath / Broken hymen of Your Highness, I'm left black / Throw down your umbilical noose so I can climb right back --- I got a new complaint / Forever in debt to your priceless advice

Rape Me by Nirvana - Self-explanatory. 

All Apologies by Nirvana - What else should I write? / I don't have the right / What else should I be? / All apologies --- I wish I was like you / Easily amused / Find my nest of salt / Everything is my fault / I'll take all the blame / Aqua Sea Foam shame / Sunburn freezer burn / Choking on the ashes of her enemy

Corduroy by Pearl Jam - This song is amazing and I could write so much about this and how it fits not just Jackie but Hyde too. If you listen to the song and follow along with the lyrics, you’ll see what I mean. 

State Of Love And Trust by Pearl Jam - State of love and trust as I busted down the pretext / Sin still plays and preaches, but to have an empty court, uh huh / And the signs are passin', grip the wheel, can't read it / Sacrifice receiving the smell that's on my hands, hands, yeah / And I listen for the voice inside my head / Nothin', I'll do this one myself

Once by Pearl Jam - I admit it / What's to say / I'll relive it / Without pain / Backstreet lover on the side of the road / I got a bomb in my temple that is gonna explode --- Once upon a time / I could control myself / Ooh, once upon a time / I could lose myself, yeah / Oh, try and mimic / What's insane / I am in it / Where do I stand? --- Ooh, once upon a time / I could love myself, yeah / Once upon a time / I could love you

Release by Pearl Jam - Again, relevant to Jackie. Just look at the lyrics. 

Black by Pearl Jam - Like Corduroy, if you follow the lyrics while listening you’ll see why I put this on the playlist. 

Paranoid Eyes by Pink Floyd - You believed in their stories of fame, fortune and glory / Now you're lost in a haze of alcohol soft middle age / The pie in the sky turned out to be miles too high / And you hide, hide, hide / Behind brown and mild eyes

The Thin Ice by Pink Floyd - Again, Jackie. And again, just pay attention to the lyrics. 

Stargazer by Rainbow - I will be completely honest with you, I chose this mostly for the title. The song is kind of a stretch, but if you look at the lyrics a certain way, the wizard is kind of Hyde. Anyway, I kept it on the list for the chorus(es): Where is your star? / Is it far, is it far, is it far? / When do we leave? / I believe, yes, I believe

Still I’m Sad by Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow - See the stars come fallin down the sky / Gently passing, they kiss your tear drops dry / See the wind come, softly blow / Your hair from your face --- For myself my tears just fall in the dust / As I search in the night and find they're lost / See the wind come gently blow / Time into my heart / And the rain comes falling down / While were apart / Still I'm sad

Unspoken by The Dead Daisies - Mostly because the lyrics fit, also there is a Degenerate Matter song with this same title --- In the oneness now you realize / Lost your compass and I sympathize / In the darkness now you fade to grey / In the stillness you will make your way / Oh, I can hear you breathe / Unspoken, you gotta let go / Unspoken, you're out in the glow / Unbroken, you let it all flow

Like No Other (Bassline) by The Dead Daisies - Don't breathe in the air on the dark side / It's a lie, you will go insane / You fall down, down deep in the landslide / Who am I, who am I? / You lose your head in the music / Move up and kiss the sky / You slip away and refuse it / Do or die, do or die

Come Alive by The Dead Daisies - Come alive / You can start over / Now take me by the hand and come alive / Gotta break your malady / You got to live your life free / So come alive

Resurrected by The Dead Daisies - Stare in the mirror, lines on my face, yeah / I wonder where the time has gone / It's been a long hard road out from the grave / But I keep a moving on / I been up, down, turned around / Kicked hard to the ground / Keep a coming back again / From the ashes, from the flame / I'm here to light the fire again / I'm back, resurrected

Paranoid by Black Sabbath - Sadly, this is yet another Jackie song. --- I need someone to show me / The things in life that I can't find / I can't see the things that make / True happiness, I must be blindMake a joke and I will sigh / And you will laugh and I will cry / Happiness I cannot feel / And love to me is so unreal

If you have questions about the songs or don't get why I put them on, feel free to ask!

[peachy-doodles]

hi, i just now found out that there are gordon figures, and i was wondering if m you could tell me where you got yours? I’ve been trying to find them all day, but i can’t find anything affordable that isn’t on a sketchy website. :( totally fine if you can’t! thanks for your time and i hope you have a nice day!

hi thank you!! it's alright im happy to help! :D

okay so heres the Lore; the figures are super ellusive nowadays with half life 2 being so old now and the figures no longer being in production. sadly the only way you can get the figures is if you pay quite a bit for them or get lucky by finding someone selling one for cheaper! i personally got my own figure from an amazon seller that had an old batch of them back in february of this year and i had ALSO been searching for a good few weeks for a okay price- the price however was still quite steep at £50 but i bought him with some commission money at the time because i didnt want to miss my shot at getting him before the stock ran out.

checking amazon now the figures are currently unavailable and have probably all sold out since they were in limited quantity! so you might be out of luck im afraid :( the price did actually go up as the stock dwindled so I think im lucky at the price i got.... i remember going back to check the quantity and seeing the figures got up to £60-£70 in just a few days.... quite crazy....

so yeah! sorry i cant really help in any other way... like you said theres sketchy sites if you want to risk it but otherwise i guess you could keep an eye out on amazon for him? the full name of my listing is this:

"Half-Life 45053 2: Dr. Gordon Freeman Action Figure, Orange/Grey, 7 Inches"

if that helps! searching for it now wont come up with anything right now since he's unnavailable but who knows... maybe more figures will resurface one day!

good luck hunting down the freeman!!! ;o)

[emakenz]

so far, we only have 10 puppies left living, maybe 9.

my little lucky number seven baby didnt make it, nor did little texas, the first two sadly passed too fast for me to give them identifiers so theyre nameless :(

we got bella to start nursing them finally, shes now laying with the babes in the laundry room, we had to install a barn door in the entryway of the room with fencing at the top to keep the cats from jumping in the backroom and to keep bella from going through the rest of the house as shes way too big as it is. shes taking good care of them now luckily. id say she was way too overwhelmed the first night to care for them properly and we werent sure what to do as we couldnt just bring her inside to give her a warm and enclosed place to give birth as shes way. too. big. and we didnt have the right stuff to help her, other than a couple heating lamps, a big old bathtub filled with hay, all put on the front porch for her to lay in. she had already had two puppies by the time we could set up the bathtub. she has a doghouse but its too small for her to properly care for so many pups in as we never considered her having puppies bc there were no male dogs around when we got her (other than boone but he was killed not too long after we had her so :/) we made the doghouse from scratch and we made it just big enough for her to fit in, a snug amount of space with insulation from the house itself to keep warm better. we do our best for our animals but we cant afford much, we still try hard though, its better than them being euthanized at a pound or strays living off the land since there are predators around here that can kill em. weve had predators, mostly coyotes, get to our animals before and it freaking sucks :( man

but yeah

so we still have a light brown boy puppy, dark brown girl puppy, 2 black girl puppies and 6 black boy puppies. we still have the majority and im honestly thankful for their survival. my poor friend was holding little seven when she passed and she tried so hard to resuscitate her, but she was already stiff. my friend was kind of in shock i think. she had never seen newborn puppies before these lads came around and it sucks her first experiences with them are death, especially since shes been helping with caring for them. theres more to this but i doubt anyone actually cares HFAKFJDJGJDK i just wanted to share this at least to make clear whats going on with the babes and how bella is doing, the cats are curious as hell and iris, poor girl, is stressed, but theyre doing fine. rosie was a mom twice i think and she cared for bellas first pup and she was tryna help bella with these pups before we took em but bella is vv territorial with everything including her babes so we had to separate them for a bit. rosies doing good though. everyones fine at the moment. and the faded pups will have a proper burial all together, i will make damn sure of it, as we had a hand in trying to care for them, im sentimental lmfao. yeah its very sad and for once, i havent cried over the loss of an animal (empathy exhaustion, itll prolly get to me in the future though), but at least most of them are living still. we are doing our best. yay puppies

my sleeping schedule didnt exist beforehand but it still has somehow been completely fucked up because of all this so theres that