#s&b incorrect quotes

[violets-and-books]

Wylan, rushing into the Crow Club: Sorry, I'm late, I know. I was doing things

Kaz: Huh, didn't know Jesper had changed his name to 'things'

*Enter a slightly pink, very proud of himself Jesper*

Jesper: Yes, yes, I am indeed Things

[smol-stardust]

Nikolai: You're right.

Alina: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you.Did you just learn it?

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Kaz, picking Jesper and Wylan up from the stadwatch cells: Weird choice for date night.

Jesper: Where did you take Inej last weekend?

Kaz: That wasn't-

Jesper: Where?

Kaz: *incoherent mumbling*

Wylan, who just wants to go home: Louder.

Kaz, groaning: I took Inej on an excursion to the tunnels under Ketterdam.

Jesper: Tunnels?

Kaz, muttering: Sewers.

Jesper: That's all I wanted.

[jkriordanverse]

R.i.p Kaz Brekker you would've loved escape rooms

R.I.P Inej Ghafa you would've loved crotcheting

R.I.P Nina Zenik you would've loved Mean Girls the Musica;

R.I.P Matthias Helvar you would've loved animal shelters

R.I.P Wylan Van Eck you would've despised Scrabble.

R.I.P Jesper Fahey you would've taken paint ball matches and water fights too seriously...

[harveybwabbit92]

Miguel: I don't need anymore friends. I already have two... R/n and Lyla.

Peter B: Don't you mean three?~ *pointing at himself* 

Miguel, looks at him flatly: …No, I'm pretty sure I meant to say two.

[alien-slushie]

HuskerDust: *smooch*

Vaggie: Can you guys not?

Angel Dust: We don't have to listen to a homophobe!

Vaggie, a lesbean: ???

[whitevesper]

“i recommend a cane” bf “then i’ll take my knife back” gf

ofc they are soulmates

[starfallkaz]

Posts I found that remind me of The Crows

Nina

Jesper

Matthias

Wylan

Kaz

Inej

[ordinarythingsiflovecaneverbe]

Alina: so like when if your the Firebird can you talk to all the other birds? Have you got bird friends that don't know you're not really a bird?

Mal: Lina, light of my life… please… it's 3am… go to SLEEP the suns supposed to rise ya know?

[blazethecheeto]

Things Shadow and Bone Characters Absolutely Have Said

Nikolai: I’m 80% awesome 20% water and 100% handsome.

Kaz: That’s 200%.

Nikolai: I’m twice the man you’ll ever be!

~~~~~~~~~~

Inej: You use humor to deflect your trauma.

Jesper: Awww, thanks-

Inej: That’s not a good thing.

Jesper: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

~~~~~~~

Wylan: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn’t require insulting each other every time you get a chance?

Kaz: No.

Nina: No.

Wylan: Didn’t think so.

~~~~~~~~~

Alina, finding out Sturmhond is Nikolai: So, you lied to me?

Nikolai: That depends on how you define lying.

Alina: Well, I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?

Nikolai: Um, reclining your body in a horizontal position?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Matthias, the whole season: I wish I had acid. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kirigan: Miss Starkov, I sense hostility.

Alina: Good, because I hate you.

[incorrect-quotes-lobby]

Askeladd: Bjorn is playing hard to get. Askeladd: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

[kriz-smthn]

This is the exact joke I think whenever I remember that my bestie and I gave Nikolai a string necklace with the sole purpose of being something he bites when he's bored

For the record, this was little Niko's logic. Not Adult Nikolai's logic.

Biting the necklace is for stimming purposes.

[smol-stardust]

Nikolai: They don't make them like me no more. I'm the last of my kind.

Zoya, Genya, David, Tamar & Tolya: Thank Saints.

[mydarlingdearestdead]

Kaz, laying out plans: A durast and a heartrender walk into the ice court-

Jesper: Well I don't want to hear the end to that joke.

Kaz whenhaveievermadeajoke Brekker:

Jesper: Great Ghezen-

[pinelessmelody]

Alexander(Alex's clone): people tell me I have a special way of lighting up a room

Diego: its called arson and those people are called witnesses

[harveybwabbit92]

[Peter and his cousin R/n (She got her powers from a blood transfusion with Peter.) are walking the halls of the Spider HQ, she telling Pete that she might not be able to take Mayday for the weekend because of her job and might have to do it next weekend.]

R/n: So this week is not looking good, but next week is...*noticing Peter is distracted* Peter are you listening?

Peter, looking at a “where is it?” book: Yeah, you’re free next week.....*under his breath* where’s that damn spoon???

[as they’re walking into Miguel’s office.]

R/n: Seriously man what the hell is soo fascin...

*She stares at the book and realizes she recognizes it.* 

Miguel, as they enter: You’re late-

R/n, holds her finger up to Miguel: Shh!

Miguel: Did you jus- *R/n shushes Miguel again.*

R/n: Peter....Did- Did you steal that book from Mayday’s pediatrician?

Peter, looks between her and the book: Huh? Wha..I...i-is that not what you’re supposed to to do?

{Miguel facepalms)

Miguel’s thoughts: This family makes me want to murder people...