#rtp feels

[roadtophantom]

Let your S(e)oul take you where you long to be - pt 1

a.k.a. finally writing my phantom korea travelogue

Watching Phantom in Korea has been this big goal of mine since December 2012.

When I saw the vast spread of Phantom merchandise at the Blue Square theatre and how they decked the theatre with a Phantom tree and had all sorts of Phantom-themed food, it became crystal clear that Korea goes hard for Phantom like no other, and I wanted to be part of that action.

I planned to visit Seoul when the World Tour revival was slated to visit in 2020, but that one got axed and squashed as a pandemic would do to hopes and dreams.

Cut to October 2021, news of a new Korean production got out around, but I was pessimistic. The borders were still closed and who knew for how much longer. Even as they started reopening toward 2022, there was a quarantine / covid-19 test requirement upon arrival. Then our local Korean embassy started taking a hardhanded stance on applications that made it difficult for visas to be issued. Add to that, the fact that the embassy have limited slots every month.

The odds were wildly stacked against me, but travel restrictions eased up and nothing serves as a better motivator than watching people you know actually go to the place.

Months of mental prep, doing things for the first time, and many expenditures later, I was deemed worthy of a visa. The next step was a ticket to the show…which was an entirely different main quest on its own.

Buying show tickets in Korea is like a national sport

I witnessed this during the first waves of Phantom Seoul tickets sale. The moment the dates open, you would find most of the tickets are already gone. So you are left to buy what's left but even when you manage to click on one, another person is likely completing their purchase ahead of you.

I did manage to snag a Jeon Dong-seok ticket. But the Cho Seung-woo one, I didn't manage to get until a month later.

I have to pause and thank @fadinglandtragedy for actually answering my questions, providing valuable tips, and encouraging me when I myself have given up lol.

The beauty of tickets in Korea is you can actually cancel and if you are early, you can get your money back with minimal processing fee. That means cancellations peek now and then when the ticket vendors refresh their systems everyday. I was able to move to a better row for my JDS show, and I eventually managed to buy my CSW ticket (that no one fought me for 😭😭😭😭😭).

But it took extreme patience, nightly refreshes, and trying not to nod asleep. It was worth it in the end.

So I only had to find a decent airfare, accommodations, and wake up insanely early to catch the flight, and print out all the things to prove to the immigration officer that I'm not pulling a Valjean on his Javert. 🥲🥲🥲

Tip: Overseas fans can buy through Yes24 and Global Interpark, but I highly recommend Yes24 for the exclusive ticket sleeves and the fact that they have a mobile app that you can use to book, stalk last-minute tickets, and eventually claim them.

Tip 2: For faster purchase using Yes24, look into loading your cc info in Paypal so you'd just be one click away to everything. For some reason I found the native cc method a bit harder to deal with (and it charged me more for some reason).

Korea things and hopefully an actual review to follow!

[ashen--dreams]

one of the things tho that i love about these people is that theyre still cracking jokes and finding the humor in the situation around the tears. everyone is crying, including one of the kids thats been there for hardly a year. everyone is teasing these two newbies like its always been amongst it all. its still rooster teeth, even to the final moments

[ariapmdeol]

How to play RPGMaker Games in foreign languages with Machine Translation

This is in part a rewrite of a friend's tutorial, and in part a more streamlined version of it based on what steps I found important, to make it a bit easier to understand!

Please note that as with any Machine Translation, there will errors and issues. You will not get the same experience as someone fluent in the language, and you will not get the same experience as with playing a translation done by a real person.

If anyone has questions, please feel free to ask!

1. Download and extract the Locale Emulator

Linked here!

2. Ensure that you are downloading your game in the right region.

In your region/language (administrative) settings, change 'Language for non-unicode programs' to the language of your choice. This will ensure that the file names are extracted to the right language. MAKE SURE you download AND extract the game with the right settings! DO NOT CHECK THE 'use utf-8 encoding' BOX. This ONLY needs to be done during the initial download and extraction; once everything is downloaded+extracted+installed, you can and should set your region back to your previous settings. helpful tutorials are here and here!

3. Download your desired game and, if necessary, relevant RTP

The tools MUST be downloaded and extracted in the game's language. For japanese games, they are here. ensure that you are still in the right locale for non-unicode programs!

4. Download and set up your Textractor!

Textractor tutorial and using it with DeepL. The tools are broken, so you will need to use the built in textractor API (this has a limit, so be careful), or copy-paste the extracted text directly into your translation software of choice. Note that the textractor DOES NOT WORK on every game! It works well with RPGMaker, but I've had issues with visual novels. The password for extraction is visual_novel_lover

5. Run through the Locale Emulator

YES, this is a necessary step, EVEN IF YOUR ADMIN-REGION/LANGUAGE SETTINGS ARE CORRECT. Some games will not display the correct text unless you also RUN it in the right locale. You should be able to right click the game and see the Locale Emulator as an option like this. Run in Japanese (or whatever language is needed). You don't need to run as Admin if you don't want to, it should work either way.

6. Attach the Textractor and follow previously linked tutorials on how to set up the tools and the MTL.

Other notes:

There are also inbuilt Machine Translation Extensions, but those have a usage limit due to restrictions on the API. The Chrome/Firefox add-ons in the walkthrough in step 4 get around this by using the website itself, which doesn't have the same restrictions as the API does.

This will work best for RPGMaker games. For VNs, the textractor can have difficulties hooking in to extract the text, and may take some finagling.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Heart's Vocalization Thoughts and Feelings

Hello and welcome to another round of Moonlight Chicken Posts That Literally No One @respectthepetty Specifically Asked For:

Heart Edition Round ?? i've lost count.

Mx. RTP may have gotten me hooked on red/blue through clothing but my first and truest love will always be lighting so I need everyone, but especially Professional Life Ruin-er Formerly Known as "Petty" (you're my best friend now, sorry I don't make the rules), to understand that this specific lighting ruined my life. Like on a cellular level, my body is a wasteland, my mind will never recover. Stepping in from the outside world, from Heart's world, Heart's life, Heart's home in to the rich, red, warmth of Li Ming's world, Li Ming's home. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, if my memory serves me correctly we never see Heart in warm lighting until the end of Episode 4, and we definitely don't see Heart in red lighting until Episode 5. Up until this point when Li Ming and Heart are together, there is always blue lighting on them, and especially when they are in Heart's home there is always a blue wash on the whole scene. So finally, finally we get red lighting babyyyyyy, fuck yeah!

Ok, sorry, I'm normal again.

Initial thoughts going in to the actual scene are as follows: 1. Stripes, my beloved! 2. Heart is so head over heels for Li Ming it's ridiculous.

Anyway, I love the small little smile that Heart has on his face here when Li Ming is essentially giving him an 'I told you so' to Heart about asking his Mom. I know that Li Ming sees Heart earlier on in the episode, but he isn't present for the conversation between Li Ming and his mother so regardless of whether he knows that Li Ming talked to her, I don't think he knows the specifics. But he follows this comment up with "You're smart. You can persuade her." Obviously he knows that something happened because Heart's mother has never listened to her son before, why would she start now?

So! Much! Red! Lighting! They are in love your honor. I am so grateful for every moment we get to see of Li Ming and Heart alone together having fun. They may be on the edge of adulthood, but there is still so much repressed youth in them that has been dying to get out and can't because it's been contained by parental shame, by the need to work to survive, by the nature of generational gaps and unsuccessful attempts to protect your loved ones.

When Heart and Li Ming are by themselves (with the exception of the post confrontation mental breakdown session in Ep. 5) there is so much joy between them. And look at Li Ming, he is so proud of himself here, for successfully persuading Heart's mother to let Heart leave the house. They don't have to sneak out anymore, Heart's parents are finally starting to understand that they can't make their son problem go away if they just keep Heart cooped up.

Once again like father-figure uncle like nephew, Li Ming has found himself a love interest that is also obsessed with the family cat. Honestly, this cat is living the dream, all he has to do all day is be held for approximately 30 seconds and get fed a fuck ton of treats. So far this scene is just very cute, Heart taking in his surroundings, attaching himself immediately to the cat, absolutely bathed in red light. And there is something so simple I love about the set up this moment brings to the important turning point that immediately follows...

Heart's holding the cat with both his hands. He can't text or sign.

Side Note: I am curious if Thai sign language has finger spelling.

And here we go! Heart speaks, not just vocalizes, it's not an exclamation of surprise, it's not a shuddering breath, or a sob. It's not a squeak or random sound Heart makes because he can't hear how loud he is being. Up until this point, every time we have heard a sound from Heart it has been unintentional. This is the first time we hear Heart speak. And importantly, he doesn't have to. He doesn't have to say anything. There isn't anything urgent, nothing that would require a sound to get Li Ming's immediately attention. He doesn't need to say Jimbo's name, literally right before this he looked at Li Ming and pointed to the cat. He could have ended the acknowledgement there. But he doesn't. He speaks. And he absolutely does not look at Li Ming while he does it. He keeps his eyes trained firmly on the cat in front of him.

I stole this gif from @earthpirapat because I don't know how to make them, and because I need anyone who reads this to see Li Ming's reaction in this moment. He is also looking at Jimbo, because he, like the audience, believes that Heart is going to end his acknowledgement of the cat's name by pointing to the cat. Li Ming is content to watch his friend play with his cat, and that's all he is expecting. Until "yyim-" tickles his ear, and Li Ming's head snaps straight up to Heart's face. You can tell how surprised he is at the way he pulls his head back a bit more to really look at Heart. To make sure that what just happened is actually real when he says "bo".

And I think it's important to know that Heart does not really seem hesitant to speak. He just...does it. What he is hesitant to do is look at Li Ming. He waits a full two seconds after he's said "Jimbo" to look up from the cat he is holding in his arms.

But he has nothing to worry about because when his eyes go to Li Ming, what does he see?

A puppy dog of a man, radiating excitement. Li Ming is beaming. It's funny to me a little bit that the thought has never seemed to cross Li Ming's mind that Heart, who only went deaf three years ago, is actually able to speak. But nevertheless he is thrilled.

"You can speak?" he asks, and he's chuckling a little and pausing and you can see all the gears in his head turning as he signs because it's like his whole worldview just got rocked. And GOD I love this moment so much because from the second that Heart speaks Li Ming's eyes never leave Heart. Or if they do it is literally an unconscious thing that is happening when he's trying to remember his signs. Heart puts Jimbo down and Li Ming literally folds his body in half, to follow Heart's movement, bends over to tap him on the shoulder. "Hey, you can speak?" he says again.

"Yeah? Can you speak again? I want to hear." he asks, and he's baffled. He's losing his signs. Like he is signing successfully to Heart, sure, but it's taking him much longer to create his sentence than it normally does because he's still in such shock over what just happened. That Heart can speak, that he heard his voice. His brain cannot keep up with his emotions.

The face of a man verrryyyy skeptical that his voice would be that exciting for anyone to hear.

"I"

"Want"

"To Hear"

"Your Voice"

I have no thoughts. I have no notes for this. It is just an incredibly powerful moment to me in furthering Li Ming as a safe zone for Heart, as someone trusted and precious. Each sign is deliberate. This is a deliberate request. This isn't a question built on surprise, "wait wait do it again" this is specific. "I want to hear your voice"

Look how pleasantly surprised Heart is. Look how happy, how bewitched he is in this moment. A few weeks back, I wrote a post analyzing Heart's communication. At the time I wrote it, I was doing a lot of speculating about Heart and his ability to talk and what it meant for the character if he could versus if he couldn't. The tl;dr version was me essentially wondering how much agency Heart has over his own isolation. Is he capable of talking and chooses not to to test the people around him, maintaining control of his own isolation, with speaking as a lifeline, or because Thai is a tonal language did he lose the ability to speak because not being able to hear might impede his ability to make distinct tones. Either way he has the ability to talk, it's a matter of whether or not he could be understood if he did vocalize his words.

I got a pretty quick reply from @littlederxxnged with a link to this Tweet quoting P'Aof and Heart's voice:

And if this quote is real, if the reason Heart doesn't speak is because he lacks the confidence to, this makes the scene all the more important and all the more wonderful for me. Because it's showing us, the audience, that Li Ming makes Heart feel confident. Li Ming makes Heart brave.

And I love that I don't get a sense of fear from Heart in any of this. Surprise? Yes. Confusion? Yes. Skepticism? A bit. Hesitation? Absolutely. But it doesn't seem to come from a place of fear. Heart is not afraid of using his voice around Li Ming, and he is never afraid of what Li Ming's reaction will be. He certainly has no idea what Li Ming's reaction will be, but it shows how much trust these two have built in one another, that Heart feels safe enough with Li Ming to test his voice.

I don't know if Heart will speak again the show. I don't care if he does. Speaking is not his primary language anymore and he doesn't owe his voice to anyone. I just want to establish that before I say I find it so much more special that Heart says his own name, rather than Li Ming's here. Why? Because the way I interpret Heart's character at this point is a man who is far more certain about what he wants out of life, now that he is able to live his life again. We get to hear Heart's name, we get to hear Heart speak for himself.

Something really cute about this moment as well is Li Ming's reaction. "I heard you just say your name!" I love that he signs to Heart what he heard. I love it so much. We know that Heart is hesitant to speak, and it takes him a second to get the word out, and I'm sure he can feel the vibrations of his vocal chords when he says his name, but he can't hear it. Li Ming is SO obviously happy, so obviously thrilled.

But this is about Heart, Li Ming's feelings have nothing to do with it. Okay, Li Ming's feelings have everything to do with it for Heart. But Li Ming's initial, gut-reaction response to hearing Heart, hesitantly say his name, is to hype the ever-loving FUCK out of that boy.

"You're great! You're awesome! How can you speak? You're so great. I'm happy." and GOD Heart can't even hear him say it. Li Ming isn't signing here, I mean he is very obviously happy, and very obviously showering Heart in praise. But Heart cannot hear him. For most of the hug he can't even read Li Ming's lips. But the pride, the joy, the excitement is so palpable. He's jumping up and down, you don't really need to hear his words to feel how happy he is about what just happened.

He pulls back "How could you do it? I'm happy. Can you see? I'm so happy," He is talking so fast. He is talking so so fast. He cannot contain himself. But he has integrated himself so much into Heart's life, that despite the fact that he is fully forgetting to sign here, he is touching Heart, he is jumping up and. down with Heart, he is showing Heart how much being trusted with his voice means to him.

Sweet baby angel, you are talking so fast. He sees a bunch of words coming out of your mouth but does not hear what you are saying. And he looks confused because he definitely did not anticipate this strong of a positive reaction to just saying his name. Especially when you consider he isn't confident in his voice. He looks confused because he almost certainly did not anticipate this outcome.

(Ignore the subtitles on that second picture, focus on Heart's smile)

Does Heart owe us his voice? No. Did we ever need to know if he could speak? No. Does this moment hit particular hard after the confrontation scene last episode concerning the use of the term "mute" in reference to Heart. Absolutely. We saw how much it hurt Heart to learn his mother refers to him as mute.

We know Heart has to beg Li Ming to even tell him what she said, Heart can see how much Li Ming hesitated to deliver that blow. He saw how strongly Li Ming was standing against his parents, he's a smart kid. He might not be able to follow the full conversation cause it's happening quickly, and they are shouting which fucks with lip shape to read lips, and Li Ming and his mother are both facing away from him. But he knows his mother said something bad, he knows Li Ming defended him.

It is so so so so so SO important to me that Heart decides to speak in this moment. That he uses his voice casually, to say a cat's name, in private, with just the two of them.

Heart's voice is not a commodity, it's not a novelty. It's a gift. And Li Ming treats it as such. Heart is being vulnerable with Li Ming. Heart hasn't spoken to anyone in three years, and when he does speak in front of Li Ming for the first time Li Ming literally cannot contain his joy. I love how many times the camera cuts to Heart's face in this, to show us to tell us that Heart loves this. That he is surprised by it, but that he is more than happy to speak again, that he is smiling the whole time because he knows how important it is to Li Ming. Because it's important to him too.

If you finished this whole post, congratulations you have won an invisible medal.

[jebbaks]

so. Larssen! he is Certainly a guy!

(aka my wynncraft oc/repurposed oc from another universe who i've occasionally posted scribbles of here)

heres the rest of the scribbles. Mostly old art.

i have like a LOOOOOT to say abt him but basically

hes pretty much a living weapon type character. or rather he regards himself as one. being around other soldiers who fully believe in their cause and a failed attempt to recover his memories (rtp moment), he internalizes this over time and fully believes that the only thing he was born/made for was to fight, to be used as a weapon against the corruption. he can be thrown away at any moment, he can be replaced

this subsequently damages his ability to form relationships with other people; he thinks he has no business doing so. he consciously puts up walls in the beginning but he eventually almost becomes unable to strike up *anything* at all with another person. from rtp onwards everybody he meets, no matter how attached the other becomes — they all become fleeting figures in his mind. BUT he cannot deny that he very much desires connection. the root of the reason why he even internalized the role of the soldier in the first place is so he can fit in better with tasim and aledar!! he just . unfortunately loses sight of this as he progresses. to the point where he cannot even recognize his humanity

so his entire arc is him struggling internally w both sides, the one that is nothing but a soldier and the other that is very much undeniably human. pretty much. Yeah

some other things

secret library enthusiast. despite everything he'll still go out of his way to dig around and find more hidden spots to simply vibe in and forget about the world for a little bit. his personal favorites are the lusuco hidden library and the cinfras grand archive (which. he may or may not have yoinked a book or two from)

perhaps one of such books ft. rusty bartender

music guy!! he frequents mt wynn a bunch bc of the performances there. this is also smth i wanna get into at a later date. all yall gotta know 4 now is that he sings pretty nicely and he is prone to rambling/infodumping about whatever cool obscure ballad hes just heard/read about in the libraries

like dare i say atp he finds it easiest to connect w other ppl thru music and even then he still feels out of place among tasim and aledar after this.

he often frequents the rusty recruit just to talk to the rusty bartender about whatever he's been up to. it started as a one-off thing until he noticed after a while that the bartender actually *does* care about his adventures. so he just kept coming back. on and on and on until one thing led to another and now we're um. here. shoves aside barssen drawings

cat person. massive cat person. he will pet u like u are a cat. he will dump a cat in your lap out of nowhere and start spitting cat facts out of nowhere or something

id yap more but thats for another post

for now thank u for coming to my oc yapping session

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 4 (“UHHH, IF I FEEL SOMETHING, DOES IT MEAN I HAVE FEELINGS, WOMP?”) EDITION

That’s how I felt after watching yesterday’s episode. I have NO BUSINESS writing meta in my current life-mental state, but I NEED to get a few words down. Just some list-y thoughts.

Shit’s starting to gel for me. The cast seems like they’ve warmed up to each other by way of actor-ly chemistry. (I know scenes are never shot in order, but there was maybe a little stiffness I felt at the start of the series? At this point, it might just be Lookjun carrying that, but I also don’t think she does “drunk” as well as the others.)

Such good meta that sustained me during my packing yesterday. @ranchthoughts on an ephemerality BREAKDOWN. @respectthepetty Senpai on sluts slutting — and HOW WE AUTOMATICALLY JUDGE AND LABEL SLUTS FOR SLUTTING (more on this in a BIT — go OFF, RTP Senpai). And @slayerkitty on nailing the narrative frameworks, which really struck me this episode, and this goes back to ephemerality again. Can’t believe I’m gonna meta, but let’s boogie, ‘cause I gotta.

@ranchthoughts — Ranch, I’m probably going to repeat some of what you wrote, so please forgive my stress-addled brain. I just lost it at Khaotung this episode, I thought he was just OVERFLOWING with BEST-NESS this episode — and the way we lived with Ray in his past in this episode. It was another play on time. And I love that @slayerkitty nailed that it was the flashbacks that were doing the talking this episode — because especially for Ray, the past is doing HIS talking. His mother didn’t love him in his past. Therefore, because of his past, he is unlovable in his present. (Interrrrgenerationalllll traumaaaa — the past affects your present. The opposite of ephemerality. That shit’ll STICK with you UNTIL you decide to face it head-on, like our beloved PatPran.)

Ooooh, baby. Gosh. The combination of the use of flashbacks, with Ray living in his past, only listening to music his parents listened to. And Sand — falling for Ray! — is holding Ray’s hand and bringing him to the present and the new. Sand’s a figure of change. Ray keeps toeing BACK to the past, to his memories, to his “love” for Mew, and Sand’s like, let me hold you down. (Ray going back and forth — like relapsing.) Ray STILL flashing back to Mew, holding that pendant (THAT LOOKS AN AWFUL LIKE AN ECLIPSE SYMBOL, AMIRITE AMIRITE) — and flashes again back and forward to the record store, where Sand found Ray’s hand.

What will Ray need for Sand to do to pull Ray even closer to the real-time present? How will Sand help Ray face his trauma? Will Sand really hold Ray down?

I am a big believer in the ships sinking, but goddamnit, First and Khao ATE this episode. GAAAHHHH.

Just musing: If Jojo and team started out this series having us think on ephemerality, the general lack of accountability, and the disappearance of time — are we entering the next act of the series where the characters grapple with the impacts of their pasts? That if you’re engaged emotionally and/or sexually with others, that not being accountable for your past and present is NOT an option? (That’s a kind of frame that speaks very closely to Jojo’s devotion to messages of sexual health in his past shows — especially regarding Nat in Gay OK Bangkok, who was HIV positive.)

Also musing: I saw some posts on my dash grappling with Top and Ray using coke. Drug use is obviously common on the partying circuit — their using coke doesn’t surprise me, especially considering that Top and Ray were both shown also being familiar with pills earlier. But I will note that the entire SE Asian region prosecutes the drug trade quite harshly, so to be honest, I was surprised to see Top actually snorting (but not surprised that that would be in a Jojo show). (Some passing links: when I Googled “drug use in Thailand,” this study shows that of a sample of vocational students in Thailand, LGBTQ+ students were more likely to use three or more drugs than heterosexual students, plus more findings. And this article briefly reviews the history of drug prosecution in Thailand.)

Also musing: really loved how Top’s demeanor was SO different with Nick and Sand. Maybe this indicates how much he’s ���controlling” himself around Mew (@ranchthoughts , beep beep, control). Especially when Nick was talking with Top — it seemed like Top had been approached for money like this before. And the way he was so forward with Sand, confident to tell Sand that Sand wasn’t up for keeping Boeing — that was a totally different Top than who we see with Mew.

Okay, penultimate point. @respectthepetty says: sluts gonna slut. @bengiyo says: dudes gonna dude.

Cheum calls Boston a ho. Top says Boston is nasty. Nick calls himself nasty. Nick is Boston’s “favorite.” Jojo challenges the viewer to think that Top was gonna sleep with Beam, as RTP Senpai writes. Top’s already slept with Boston while dating Mew. On and on and on.

I wrote in my review of Theory of Love that I related to Khai, and now I relate somewhat to Top by the way that some of the viewership has judged Top. I was VERY often called the slut/ho of my friend groups in my younger years. OFTEN. And this was while I was in my twenties, exploring myself, my boundaries, my sexuality, all of it.

I relate to the struggle of trying to shed labels. Ray is a “burden.” Boston is “nasty.” Mew wants the truth from Top as to if Top has been with anyone else while they were dating. Therefore — Mew is assuming that Top IS sleeping with other people.

Call these people by their labels, and they’ll start believing them. It’s just another kind of trauma, similar to intergenerational trauma.

I wrote in my Theory of Love piece that as a global society — humans don’t really believe that our fellow humans can CHANGE. We don’t accept change well. (Cancel culture rarely allows for someone to be uncancelled — right?) If someone takes on a label — we tend to believe that label, and we have a hard time believing that someone has SHED that label after time. If Ray was called a burden by his mother — what work will it take for Ray to shed that label? And same for our sexually active guys, too.

Think about how you talk about your friends to others. Think about if you use labels to talk about them. Think about how old those labels are, and if they’re accurate in the present. And. Think about how you judge others by their pasts. (“Remember when so-and-so was sleeping around?”) Think about whether or not you use the past to judge and/or justify your FEELINGS about someone.

Now, I don’t even KNOW if these guys WANT to change these paradigms. We get the SLIGHTEST hint that maybe Boston wants to do so with Nick in next week’s preview.

But. I just fucking love that Jojo is playing around with this. If someone is HIV positive — that’s a label, a stigma. If someone is a ho — that’s a label, a stigma.

These dudes are burdened by what everyone else is thinking and saying about them.

And we have Sand, on the other hand, processing his feelings with Nick. We have Nick acting like a damn BASKETCASE, but at least he admitted the wiretapping to Sand (??? lol honey but you gotta stop this now, nervous giggles, put Boston’s phone down). We didn’t see Yo in this episode, but we know Yo believes in accountability.

There’s something about the Ray-Mew-Cheum-Boston friend group that allows things to both slide and fester. We’ll get ever more clarity in the following episodes on this, but — these young folks are having ish dealing with their labels, the labels of their pasts, and what are they gonna do in their presents and futures to deal with changing themselves?

FINALLY, and then I’m done rambling. Is that supposed to be a penis, or something penis-like?!

(What’s good, Ephemerality Squad? Wish me luck with moving today! @slayerkitty @ranchthoughts @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @clara-maybe-ontheroad @twig-tea @distant-screaming @chickenstrangers)

[respectthepetty]

Hi RTP! What are the BLs you would recommend solely for the colors? 🌈

Anon, before I answer this great ask, I want to highlight other posts I've written that are slightly similar:

Reading the (Visual) Rainbow Awards 2023

Overall Winner - Kiseki: Dear to Me

Top Five - Color-Coded Storytelling in BLs

Honorable Mention: Oh No! Here Comes Trouble

5) Moonlight Chicken

4) My Beautiful Man

3) My Love Mix Up

2) Semantic Error

1) Big Dragon

Top Five Color Moments of 2023

Honorable Mention: 7 Days Before Valentine

5) GAP

4) Bed Friend

3) Last Twilight

2) Moonlight Chicken

1) The Eighth Sense

Bonus: Jeff Satur x SHAUN's "Steal the Show"

I don't want to repeat any of the shows I picked, and I'm trying to pick more recent ones so people can find them if they want to watch them, but per your ask, I'm recommending them based solely on colors regardless of how much I liked them.

Recommended Colorful BLs

Honorable Mention: Intern in My Heart

The show is not finished, and it's not a BL, yet it is doing everything right, which is why it gets the honorable mention. Great (Grey) is coded black/dark in the show, and Top is coded pink/light. They are supporting characters who are best friends, and they have stuck to their colors throughout, but in the last episode, they *almost* exchanged colors after Top revealed that he liked Great. Now I'm praying to all the saints for a full color exchange in the finale like I have a personal stake in this because I do! I'm invested, and it better not disappoint me.

#5 - One Room Angel

When I write "Heavenly Human" for a character who wears white, and "Black Brooder" for a character who wears black, THIS is what I mean. A story about an actual angel and a guy who wanted to die was the perfect place to use the light x dark dynamic. However, calling this show a BL is troublesome, which is why it's number five. It still is a great example of what the light x dark color scheme should be used for, and in the end, the guy who wanted to die is much lighter in mood and color, which is what the colors are all about.

#4 - Why R U? (Korea)

First and foremost, that kiss was LIT! The Thai version had Tutor and Fighter's high heat, which could never be matched, but Korea had that kiss, and it ate! But on top of that, it had colors! Ji Oh was a Black Brooder while Lee Won was a Multicolored Menace, and right after this kiss, they flipped colors. That's right! After five episodes of being enemies, they made out for acting "reasons," and then exchanged colors. Normally, Korea is all about the feelings, so the color exchanges in Korean BLs align with a character's feelings changing, but this one directly correlated with a kiss. And for emphasis - That kiss was fire!

#3 - Secret Crush on You

Destiny Seeker might have won the 2023 award for best group effort in color coding, but Secret Crush on You set the bar for that award the year before. This show is Color-Coding 101. Each character has a color, and by each, I mean each and every single damn character in a cast of eleven (plus three fairy godmothers) has their own color. That is a ridiculous feat! Wardrobe, props, and lighting deserved a raise for this show. Some shows can't even get consistent color coding when it only has two characters, but this show understood the color-coding group assignment for the entire series! I'm still applauding two years later.

#2 - Stay by My Side

Taiwanese BLs are my vice. Even the worst Taiwanese BL will still be better than the rest of these BLs. I WROTE WHAT I WROTE. So, of course, I liked this show beyond color reasons, but the colors greatly helped me enjoy the show even more. We had a guy who was haunted by ghosts. He was colorful and light coded. Then we had his roommate who could magically keep the ghosts away. He was dark coded. Read it again. The guy being haunted was bright, light, and colorful, while the guy with the power to help was dark. GENIUS! It was Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice but to Kiss with a supernatural twist. The dark coded guy is sad and isolated but the one who is being HAUNTED BY GHOSTS brings life to his world! Give me a minute. I'm still not over it.

#1 - Pit Babe

I watched this show muted and without subtitles, yet the colors guided me through all thirteen episodes. I understood the plot perfectly because of the colors, and only became confused when people tried to tell me about the actual plot. Alpha? Omega? Santa Maria? Wasn't important. Didn't matter. I don't know them. Red and Blue were the main characters here, and they did their damn job. Babe, in his black, was his own man. He wasn't trying to fit in, but every time the red light focused on Charlie and Way, I was screaming for Babe to run because the colors told me they were still tied to Tony BECAUSE THEY WERE! That's elite color coding, and it ushered in a whole new way for me to watch a show. I loved it.

Bonus: Old Fashion Cupcake

I love this show which is why it is a bonus. Unlike the other shows where I had issues with some part of the plot, Old Fashion Cupcake is as close to perfect as any show has ever come in my personal rating system. It is an Advanced Color Coding course only offered for graduate students, which, honestly, is very Japanese of it because it was in the ties. The color coding showed up in other ways, but the ties were where the story lived since in the past, Nozue was a bright red, but we saw his red damper in the present, which made his loyal assistant bluer. It was only five episodes, yet it used every second of those five episodes in every single way to propel the story forward, colors included. Actually, let me go rewatch this for the hundredth time instead of just writing about it!

[sunshinechay]

Okay so I was musing about it in the tags of @respectthepetty’s post here but I also want to make a tiny post about it.

It’s only the second episode but does anyone else get the feeling that a significant portion of the show is going to end up coming down to Mew vs Boston?

A truly colossal showdown in which they are going to destroy each other and irreparably damage everyone around them?

As RTP pointed out, both use sex as a means to control. Both have a thing for Top and want him for themselves, but (and I’m might be projecting here) it also feels like it’s going to be about more than that. It’s going to be about Ray and his feelings for Mew. Chuem and her attempts (sometimes half heartedly) to get everyone to get along. It’s going to be about Boston’s inability to recognize his own faults and his belief that he’s better than everyone else. It’s going to be about Mew’s feelings of surperiority towards Boston (and even Ray and Chuem to a certain extent). I even think how Boston is using Nick is going to come into play as well, I’m just not sure how yet.

I posted about it yesterday that this friend group doesn’t really feel like a friend group and a big part of the reason I feel that way has to do with Boston’s barely veiled resentment/animosity towards Mew and Mew’s smugness right back at him. Each thinks they’re better than the other and (imo) both are wrong.

And even to connect it to the post I made about the projector light and Mew’s mugshot from ep1. I’m starting to think Boston got left out of the light because he is the closest thing this series is going to have a bad guy. I mean this show clearly is not going to actually have one, but I think Boston is going to end up filling the antagonist role because the show seems to be more from Mew’s POV than Boston’s. Ray and (Chuem) are partially in the light of the projector to symbolize their more innocent status (again, not true innocence because they have their own issues, but closer to innocence in the battle of wills between Boston and Mew).

They’re going to explode at each other and probably sooner than we think. It’s going to be mutually assured destruction and they’re going to take at least Top down with them. Likely Ray and Chuem and maybe even Sand down as well. I’m not going to even speculate what’s going to happen to Nick because it’s going to be bad, probably almost as bad as (if not worse than) Top.

These are messy imperfect characters who are going to say and do terrible things, both to themselves and each other. They are each the “bad guy” in each other’s story and even in their own to a certain extent. Neither of them are really better than the other and both are going to end up down a rabbit hole they can’t get out of.

I could be very wrong and I might be jumping the gun a little too much but after two episode, this is what it’s starting to feel like to me. I’m not trying to say one is better than the other or that they shouldn’t do what they’re about to do. This is just the sense I get. I’m completely open to being proven wrong. Hell this whole conflict could end up being a red herring before the “real” conflict emerges.

I would love a showdown between Boston and Mew though on any scale. Neo and Book would eat it up and put out an amazing performance. Only time will tell I guess haha.

[roadtophantom]

LISTEN i thought im fine but the world tour has Always been a replica tour even if it's been trimmed down. I'm afraid I cannot accept any substitute. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬😬 /old man shouts at cloud

[goldenseresinretriever]

Okay, follow up question. Which of my Jakes (not including the original trio) do you ship me, you, and @fanficfandomlove with?

CACKLING (I actually had to go look at your masterlist for this lol)

Hmmmmm, I feel like you’re with BIC!Jake for sure

Nat I want to say RTP!Jake 🤔🤔🤔 (FortuneAndGlory!Jake you’ll always be famous 😔✊🏾)

And I know this is a cop out because you specifically said Jake but you can’t stop me, DBTB!Bradley for me 🤭

Sleepover Saturday!!

[bengiyo]

Hidden Agenda Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Joke and Zo went on practice dates for Nita before Joke totally botched a not-date with Nita. Zo is recognizing that he might be developing feelings for Joke after a pinky touch moment. Joke is having his own panic that me maybe overstepped.

Ah yes, sleeping on his shoulder.

I'm still undecided about the soft fuzziness of the image for this show.

So curious about what a confession is supposed to look like with these two.

Suddenly Jeng. I was wondering where he went and when he'd pop back up.

Very much okay with side couples already being together. GMMTV should keep playing with this.

I'm very much into this awkward tension with Pok and Zo right now.

I'm gonna have to check out RTP's blog after this to see her read on Pok and Jeng's shirts.

Now this is what I'm talking about! Zo is in his head and making Pok's decision not to tell him about Jeng about him and not about Pok. Now it's bleeding over into Zo feeling unlikeable.

Oooh, and now we're back to the themes about limiting the perspectives we allow to influence our sense of worth.

Should I take a shot every time they say "step by step" in this show?

Oh man this missing wallet feels like it's about more than just a picture. Feels like there's some sort of angst Pok has been managing on his own that's starting to bubble over.

Zo is such a romantic. It must be very hard for him to so rarely receive reciprocity.

Ope. Another sunflower reference. Take a shot.

I agree that there is nuance between understanding how someone feels and being comfortable with it.

I actually like that Pok is going through exactly what Joke said: he and Jeng are sorting out their relationship as they struggle with the internalization of external factors.

I was wondering what a guitar would come out.

I do like these two speaking earnestly about how they perceive each other. It's very gentle.

Okay, I genuinely enjoyed the entire build up to and execution of this kiss. I'm even looking forward to Zo retreating next week! I think I'm in!

I am finally planted on this show. I'm a sucker for two people showing genuine regard for one another.

[thedreamworldlibrary]

Dusk till Dawn

Here’s an angsty Drabble for you all! I wrote this as a gift for my friend Undynlicia’s Welcome to Dreamworld fanfic, Reliving the Past! I highly recommend reading the fanfic as it’s really good, and filled with angst!

Also this idea had been on my mind for a month and I had to write it before continuing my other series. It also gives me a break since I have some stories on a backlog at the moment.

For those who have read RTP this little drabble takes place between after Starlight and Allison.

BIG thanks to my beta reader @gigilefache

Enjoy!

The sounds of children laughing and seeing hem run around the facility brought a smile to Lewis and his two best friend’s faces. Their dream has finally become a reality with no problems whatsoever.

“I can’t believe we did it,” Lewis said. Oliver and Sara chuckled as the three continued to watch the kids play.

Lewis heard a knock and turned to see his boyfriend, Wiatt outside with a bouquet of fresh flowers. The founder smiled as he went to the door to greet and kiss his boyfriend.

At least, that’s what Lewis thought was going to happen…

Upon opening the door Lewis was teleported to the hallways that were located near the cave system, hidden down below the facility. He looked around and realized that the door he came through was gone.

“W-Wiatt!” Lewis called out. He received no answer other than the echo of his voice. “Oliver! Sara!” Seeing there was no one other than himself, Lewis started to walk the hallways calling out the names of everyone he knew and loved, hoping they would answer.

“Eric! Carly! Ben! Liz! Anyone!” Lewis yelled, listing down the names.

A loud clang was heard that echoed deep into the hallways. Lewis was breathing heavily as he just wanted to get out of there. However, a scream snapped the founder out of his thoughts. He recognized that scream.

“Wiatt!” Lewis yelled.

He sprinted as fast as his legs could take him. He tried to find where the scream came from until he heard Wiatt cry out again. “Let go of me!”

“Darling! I’m coming! Hold on!” Lewis yelled again.

After what felt like forever, Lewis found Wiatt and his eyes widened.

Wiatt was pinned down by the Pegasus animatronic, Winnie. The young boy struggled to free himself from the animatronic, but the second Wiatt was to free himself, Winnie would grab him by his shirt and slam his head on the ground.

“Let him go!” Lewis yelled.

Winnie and Wiatt looked up to see Lewis, glaring at the animatronic with anger. Wiatt’s eyes widened as he gave a small smile seeing his boyfriend. “Lewis.” He whispered. 

Winnie growled. “So the prince is here to save his little boyfriend.”

Lewis glared as he glowed, starting his transformation, “I said let him go.” He repeated.

Winnie laughed as he raised his claw, and stabbed Wiatt in his shoulder. The young boy let out a scream, causing Lewis’s eyes to widen and quickly had to transform and save his boyfriend.

However, instead of transforming the glow faded leaving the founder confused, “w-what?!” He asked himself.

Winnie laughed again, “Looks like Litho’s plan worked!” He beamed. Lewis looked at the Pegasus animatronic confused and frightened, “While you weren't looking, Litho made sure to disable your powers to make sure you wouldn’t stop us.”

Lewis was breathing heavily, he tried to transform again, but no luck. Winnie chuckled, feeling his grandson trying to remove his claw from his arm. Winnie turned towards him before shoving his claw in further, causing Wiatt to scream. His screams in pain got louder as the Pegasus animatronic tore his arm out of the socket and tossed it aside.

“STOP IT! PLEASE!” Lewis cried, begging the animatronic to stop hurting his boyfriend any further.

“Stop?” Winnie asked, before letting out a chuckle. The chuckle evolved into laughter, a laughter that scared the boyfriends. “Oh I’m not going to stop Mr. Bright.” He then gave a smirk that made Wiatt’s blood run cold.

Lewis’s blood went cold too as he shook his head, “No…” Lewis whimpered. Winnie chuckled as his smaller claws became sharper. “NO! STOP PLEASE! NO!”

Winnie ignored Lewis’s screams begging him to not hurt Wiatt, as the pegasus raised his claw and slashed Wiatt on the neck. 

“NO WIATT!” Lewis screamed, jolting from the bed. He breathed heavily as he looked around and saw he wasn’t back in the hallways of the facility, but the mansion belonging to his boyfriend.

It was a nightmare. A horrible, sadistic, twisted nightmare.

Lewis slowly reached for his glasses, which he almost dropped before grabbing them and slowly opened the door from his room out into the hallway. 

He slowly opened the door to his left and sighed seeing Eric was asleep. From the looks of it, Ribbondancer took over and couldn’t sleep either, as shown from the blanket and a few pillows on the floor.

Lewis closed the door and opened the door to his right where Rex and Alyssa were sleeping. The founder was relieved no one woke up from the sound of screaming. He closed their door, went back to his room, and eventually, back to bed.

However, Lewis wasn’t going to fall back asleep. The second he closed his eyes, images of the day Wiatt was killed played in his head. His eyes snapped open and all Lewis could do was stare at the ceiling, deciding not to sleep at all. 

By morning, Eric decided to make breakfast for everyone while the group chatted and planned what to do next. Lewis on the other hand was tired, and had bags under his eyes. His eyes would slowly close, but then he would always swiftly open them again. He smiled and nodded so no one would notice him sleep deprived and that he was focusing on the situation at hand.

Oliver noticed his best friend looking tired. “L-Lewis?” Oliver asked. Lewis wasn’t responding as his eyes slowly closed. Oliver then shook his best friend, and shouted his friend’s name, “Lewis!”

Lewis screamed and fell out of his seat breathing heavily. Oliver jumped, nervous that he may have scared his best friend.

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” Oliver apologized.

“L-Lewis are you okay?” Rex asked.

“Mr. Lewis, are you okay?” John asked.

Everyone was asking the founder if he was alright, but all Lewis could hear was Wiatt’s voice echoing in his head. He didn’t hear Eric telling everyone to step back and give the founder some space.

“Lewis!” Eric yelled.

Lewis, still breathing heavily, glanced at his former teacher. He saw the worry in everyone’s faces as his breathing slowed.

“Lewis.” Eric said again, calmer this time. “Are you okay?”

Lewis slowly nodded. Eric helped his former student up and saw he had bags under his eyes, and he looked tired.

“Lewis, did you sleep at all last night? You look exhausted.” Eric exclaimed.

“You're more tired than Oliver!” Ben exclaimed. Oliver glanced at his younger brother with a small glare. The younger brother gave a sheepish smile, “no offense.”

Lewis went quiet thinking of what to tell his friends. If he told them about the nightmare he had of Wiatt, they’ll just give him comfort and tell him “it wasn’t his fault.” 

“I-yes I didn’t sleep at all.” Lewis spoke up. “I got up early to look through notes on how to stop Litho and Winnie,” Lewis lied.

Out of everyone in the room, Eric, Oliver, Rex, Alyssa, and Carly knew the founder was lying. They knew it was about Wiatt, and how his soul is possessing Starlight in this new timeline. They didn’t want to bring it up as they knew it was a hard wound on Lewis.

Eric sighed and put his hand on Lewis’s shoulder, “Lewis you need to rest more.” He said.

Lewis shook his head, “n-no. I’ll be fine.” He replied. “I promise.”

“Lewis.” Eric said in a stern voice.

The founder knew he couldn’t argue with his former teacher. He sighed, “fine.” He whispered before slowly walking back to his room.

As he walked back Ribbondancer took over Eric’s body, looking concerned over the founder. “Is this because of…” he asked.

Carly nodded and put her hand on her dad, or possibly Ribbon’s shoulder.

If this was any situation, Ribbondancer would find ways to cheer Lewis up, but he knew the situation and painting or jumping on the bed wasn’t going to make Lewis feel better.

When Lewis made it back to his room he collapsed on his bed and turned facing the ceiling again. He didn’t want to sleep, he just wanted to lay there forever. He was so tired though that his eyes closed on their own despite him struggling to keep them open.

The second Lewis opened his eyes he was outside underneath a tree. He turned and smiled seeing Wiatt next to him. The younger boy scooted closer to his boyfriend before kissing him on the lips. Lewis melted and giggled over the affection his boyfriend was giving him.

“I love you, Lewis.” Wiatt said.

Lewis chuckled, “I love you too, darling.” He replied. He then realized that he wasn’t outside but back at the cave system of the facility. “W-Wiatt?” He looked around.

The founder walked through the cave system and called out for Wiatt. Suddenly a loud scream was heard that caused Lewis to run and search for his boyfriend faster.

He ran as fast as he could till he saw Wiatt pinned down by Winnie, as the latter was ready to remove the young boy’s arm.

“WIATT!” Lewis screamed, tears appearing in his eyes.

“LEWIS!” Wiatt screamed back using his free arm in hopes Lewis would reach for him.

Winnie growled and stabbed Wiatt’s shoulder deeper, until the Pegasus felt his claws touch the floor before going ahead and tearing the young boy’s arm off, and tossing it to the side.

Wiatt let out a loud scream, which made Lewis’s eyes widened in horror. “Stop please!” Lewis cried out.

The pegasus animatronic chuckled ignoring the founder’s cries, and in a twist of events, Winnie went to Wiatt’s left leg, and used his claws to stab it and just like with the young boy’s arm, the pegasus tore Wiatt’s leg off, tossing it to the side.

Wiatt let out a scream and started to cry.

“STOP! STOP HURTING HIM!”  Lewis screamed.

Winnie laughed, “oh I’m just getting started.” He sneered, having his claw up and striking Wiatt down.

“NO” Lewis yelled, waking up. He breathed heavily and looked around seeing he was in his room, and he was only out for an hour. Lewis groaned and collapsed on his bed realizing he was never going to sleep at all.

Days passed and Lewis’s nightmares didn’t stop. Seeing Winnie kill Wiatt over and over again, sometimes worse than what he saw before, and Lewis couldn’t do anything to stop the murderous pegasus. Lewis couldn’t focus on the situation at hand, he was drained and wanted to sleep peacefully.

One day Wiatt finally left the facility and was able to reunite with the others. Upon him arriving, he saw how exhausted and tired his boyfriend was. When Wiatt asked, Lewis responded the same thing; he’s was trying to find ways to stop Litho as well as seeing if there was a way to bring Wiatt back to his old body. However, Wiatt knew it was something deeper. By night time, Eric told Wiatt a bit of what’s going on with Lewis.

“So, he hasn’t been sleeping?” Wiatt asked.

Eric shook his head, “I think since everything that happened during that confrontation with Winnie, Lewis seems bothered by it.” He explained.

Wiatt frowned and went over to Lewis’s room and saw his partner in bed, on his phone watching videos. The animatronic saw Lewis’s eyes closing before he snapped them back open to stay awake. He saw Wiatt and gave him a small wave, and smile, even though he was tired.

Wiatt frowned and gave Eric a nod that said he'd stay with Lewis for the night. Eric nodded back and walked off leaving the animatronic and his partner alone.

The animatronic slowly walked over to Lewis, who finally passed out and fell asleep. Wiatt went and laid down next to him, hoping not to wake his partner, and sighed. The star animatronic tried to get to sleep, but the second he closed his eyes he felt Lewis shifting back and forth, crying out his name.

“Wiatt…No…Wiatt…” Lewis cried.

“L-Lewis?” Wiatt asked.

“Wiatt no!” Lewis yelled, tossing and turning.

“Lewis!” Wiatt yelled. The star animatronic was horrified seeing Lewis toss and turn, screaming and crying out for him in his sleep. He tried to shake Lewis, but nothing woke up the founder.

“No! No!” Lewis cried.

Wiatt couldn’t stand seeing his boyfriend in so much pain. He shook him one more time and yelled, “Lewis wake up!” once more.

“GAH!” Lewis’s eyes snapped open as he breathed heavily. He looked around, seeing he was in his room, and that Wiatt was in front of him. “W-Wiatt?” 

Wiatt nodded in reply. “Are you al-” He was cut off when Lewis tackled him into a hug and sobbed into his mechanical chest. Wiatt’s eyes widened as he looked down at his partner and slowly put his arms around him.

“I’m sorry!” Lewis cried.

“Huh?” Wiatt asked, confused.

“I’m sorry for letting you die and becoming Starlight! I’m sorry for leaving you after high school for Dreamworld! I’m sorry for pretending to lose my memories of you just to keep everyone safe! I’m sorry for every stupid thing I’ve done to hurt you darling!” Lewis wailed listing every bad thing he’s done in the previous timeline.

If Wiatt could he would have cried too, as he felt the Scarlet mask go on his face. He didn’t realize Lewis was holding this all in for a while, probably since the previous timeline. He then wrapped his arms around his crying boyfriend, and started to rub circles on his back.

“Lewis.” Wiatt started. “I told you before it wasn’t your fault that I died and became Starlight.”

Lewis sniffled, not looking up at his boyfriend. “It is. If only…” Lewis choked out a sob.

“If only what? You died again to protect me?” Wiatt asked.

“Mhm.” Lewis replied.

Wiatt sighed. “Lewis, don’t think like that. If anything it could’ve been anyone. Not just me.” He said. 

Lewis let out a sob, and looked up at his boyfriend, his eyes were red at that point, and filled with tears. Wiatt used his hand to cup Lewis’s cheek and used his thumb to wipe the tears from his eyes.

“However, with what you said. I forgive you. I forgive you for everything Lewis Bright. So don’t feel guilty. It wasn’t your fault. I forgive you.” Wiatt said as he stared into Lewis’s glossy eyes as the blue mask went on him.

Lewis sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes, “I-I am glad, darling.” He replied. He felt like he didn’t deserve it, but Wiatt pulled him into a kiss and with that Lewis melted into the kiss.

The two let go, and smiled at each other before lying down together. Lewis was still scared of falling asleep and falling into the same nightmare again. Wiatt took notice and pulled Lewis closer to him.

“Sleep. You need it.” Wiatt whispered. “Don’t worry about the nightmares. I’m right here and I’ll make sure you’ll never have them again.”

Lewis gave a weak smile before slowly closing his eyes. Wiatt placed a kiss on Lewis’s forehead before closing his eyes and falling asleep alongside him.

A smile appeared on Lewis’s face as he slept showing that his nightmares were truly over.

By morning, the couple was still in bed in each other's arms. Eric smiled seeing the two have finally gotten some rest after a few days of pain.

“Should we wake them?” Ribbon Dancer asked, taking control of his host body.

Eric took back control and shook his head. “Nah, let them rest. They need it.” He said, before closing the door letting Wiatt and Lewis sleep a little longer.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #10 & #09

10. PORTUGAL Mimicat - "Ai coração" 23rd place

Decade Ranking: 33/116 [Above Diljá, below VICTORIA]

Man, I wish Eurovision had better things in store for Mimicat than 23rd place. It feels like highway robbery? I'm pretty sure we all agree that "Ai coração" slaps? It's cute, whimsical, well performed, her voice is a temple, her dancers sublime.

This is one of the best choreographed bops in recent mothering. SERVER SERVED, MOTHER MOTHERED, as we all knew she would the second she won FdC.

However, I can't shake the feeling that the budget was cut drastically short between Lisboa and Liverpool. The whole ensemble looks more inexpensive? It's not even the missing couch, the camera work and backdrops are uninspired and look like they've been cobbled together last minute? At times, it feels like you're watching a rehearsal. Why is everything so DARK? Why are there SO MANY wideshots? So that we cannot appreciate how good the dancers are?

The issue is one of respect, or rather the lack thereof others had for Portugal. Not many, including RTP for some reason, seemed to believe Mimicat was an easy qualifier (HAVE YOU HEARD THE SONG?!) and even the newspapers here called her "a surprise revelation that came out nowhere to deservingly take a slot in the finale" ummmm.... At this point, you know the writing is on the wall and Mimi will be tossed into a death slot to serve as kindling for the Loreen coronation pyre.

However, I respect Mimicat and her heart, of which she has so much, so I still grant her the top 10 she deserves! 🙂 A suboptimal Mimicat is still a Mimicat, you know. Some people carry the Serve gene, and it is dominant in her.

"Ai coração" is -if nothing else- a wholesome, catchy earworm that is a joy to listen to and behold under any circumstance. Top shelf filler, eventhough it deserved more distinction. Mimi OWNS it, it's her song, and only she can perform it this well. Her vocal, the dancers, the build up it's all delectable and I savour it. It made for a fun and whimsical three minutes that definitely earned more than an unfair bottom five finish for the ultimate crime of not being a bookmaker's pet.

--------------------------------------------------------------

09. ALBANIA Albina & Familija Kelmendi - "Duje"22nd place

Decade ranking: 31/116 [Above VICTORIA, below Albina (Tick Tock)]

MORPH! It's been YEARS since the last time I've had a positive whiplash between preshow and postshow, and here we are (and it's not the last one...x) I've done a complete 180 on Albania and have ZERO regrets. "Duje" flies in the face of every principle Eurovision 2023 stood for (a song that IMPROVED from the NF and was RESPECTED by its stage director), how could I not reward them with a generous, well-earned spot in my top 10?

But first things first - Yeah, "Duje" came into Eurovision with a lot of problems. It was outright bad in FiK. It was off-putting, cult-like, amateur and had no true identity beyond "Hi We Are The Kelmendi Family From Albania This Is Our Song Representing Albania". The only salient detail was that Albina wore a giant ass cloak that obscured half her face, as her family awkwardly shuffled around like cross-wired automatons. Everything about FiK "Duje" was lame and inept, and I was rooting against its qualification - This one, I concluded, was not for me.

How wrong I was.

I don't even know HOW OR WHY, but once in Liverpool, it clicked. I completely underestimated that Albina Kelmendi's is kind of an amazing talented performer, and good god this was a great performance. Both in the semi and in the final she delivered on the passion and the pathos, which the act put at the centre.

THE SCREAMINNNNG

THE DRAMA

The CHOREOS

Which brings me to the act which... SJB magic at its finest tbh. It respects the people on the stage. The Kelmenboys were recalibrated into competence, and Albina's dad, sister and sister in law all proved decently charismatic individuals that could serve as worthy foils to Albina.

Albina's mother and brother remained servephobic blocks of wood but that humanizes them, in a way - Mama Kelmendi is just Doing It As A Favour For Her Kids, just like how Mery Bas is doing Zorra for her 500.000 gay manwhore sons. which is earnest.

Alban otoh... hasn't improved at all, lmao. It's hard to discern whether its the complete inability to perform or just not giving a fuck because moving and singing is tedious yo, or both (also like Mery Bas). At a certain point you have to accept his role as one of comedic foil lurking in the background (notice how he's always directly behind Albina) and in that role, I can appreciate him. Missing his cues all the time with a bored look on his face amidst a group that was whipped into a style of discipline you only see at North Korean national parades, gives just enough personality to the performance to make it work, and not seem like Albina, and five androids.

I'm still figuring out how it all came together as well as it did, and where they Actually rank for me, so about 9th seems a good poiint to start? "Duje" was really good, and that's enough for me. If an act that I didn't like very much delivers the drams out of nowhere, I'm not going to ruin it by overthinking it. "Duje" may have gotten the typical Albanian result but through magical happenstance felt just that bit more special and earnest than the typical Albanian entry.

THE RANKING!!!

(feat. a new graphic since the old one wasn't clear enough imo)

The font of the numbers could use some tweaking but oh well, i think this looks better? Next update whenever I'm ready I guess.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

WKA Gay Analysis Assembly

Hello! Welcome to my blog, please note I am unhinged about my silly little gay shows and as evidence I give you an exhaustive list of all the analysis posts (and some non-analysis posts) I have written :)

I will be updating this post as I write more, and the most recent show I am watching/writing about will be listed first. Please know my DMs and my Inbox are always open!

By, For, and About Queers (The By, For, and About Queers posts are not about any particular show, and are instead a little write up of the way I categorize the BL shows that I am watching)

By/For/About- Part 1 (a conversation with @absolutebl)

By/For/About- Part 2 (a conversation with @solitaryandwandering) Also check out the really lovely response from @solitaryandwandering here

Toxic and Messy: TharnType v. Only Friends (aka We Trust Jojo) (a conversation with @absolutebl and @respectthepetty)

The Sign

Feelings Made Visible: Design Choices in The Sign

Fantasy v. Reality in The Sign

Last Twilight

Episode 1 Thoughts (in which I state my fears that were later realized)

Reflections in Last Twilight (Episode 1-2)

Physical Touch in Last Twilight (Episodes 1-3)

Thoughts on Last Twilight, Ep. 5 (aka when I still thought the show was good)

Last Twilight, Ep 12 (in which I rant about the ableism in the narrative and the undermining of the show's themes)

Shadow

Shadow thoughts

The Left Hand of God

Is Brother Anurak the One Armed Man?

What Happened to Trin? aka Paying Attention to my Favorite Straight Boy

I Feel You Linger in the Air

Let's Talk About Sex: ESSAY #69!!! (breakdown of the sex scene in IFYLITA Episode 8)

Only Friends Academic Essay Series

Only Friends, Boston, and Queer Culture

Only Friends and Respectable Promiscuity

Only Friends, Racism, and the Commodification of Queer Asians Everything else

Ray and Rehab

Boston the Slut

Hypocrisy

Who is Mew, Anyway?

You're Mine No Matter What: The Commodification of Sand

Explosions (fight night round two, Ep. 6)

Fight Night (scene breakdown of the fight in Episode 5)[Sand Addition by @ranchthoughts]

Poor Boy (a discussion on the beloved Poor Boy t-shirt)

Watch The Warp Effect before Only Friends

Misunderstanding Top? (a conversation with @respectthepetty)

What the Fuck is Boeing Doing Here?

Only Friends Reflection

My Ride

Rain, BL Boys, and Reciprocity

My Ride Finale

Be My Favorite (how did I get here, I wasn't planning on watching this!)

Permanence in BMF (in conversation with @stuffnonsenseandotherthings)

Lack of Touch in BMF (in conversation with @wanderlust-in-my-soul and @dropthedemiurge)

Cupid's Last Wish 1. Trans Allegory in Cupid's Last Wish (in partnership with @so-much-yet-to-learn and @lurkingshan)

La Pluie

The Language of Love In La Pluie Ep. 8

Ep. 8 Stray Thoughts

Hands in Ep. 7

Hands in Ep. 6

Subversion (a conversation with @lurkingshan)

Pee Peerawich Can Fucking Act

Connection

Body Language in La Pluie Ep. 12

Step by Step

On the Subject of Pat 2.0- A Defense

On the Subject of Pat- A Timeline (a conversation with @waitmyturtles)

Totally Normal About Episode 7

Lighting in Ep 9 (a conversation with @istanchan)

Going Out- Sharing Space with the Unhoused

Compartmentalizing

Workplace Homophobia and Relationship Development Between Pat and Jeng

Our Skyy 2

OS2 x The Eclipse - Characterization

OS2 x BB x ATOTS- Phupa and Queerness aka Damn You WMT (that's right! Damn you, @waitmyturtles!)

OS2 x BB x ATOTS- Validation! aka Phupa and Queerness- Part 2 (and a shout out to @lurkingshan and @waitmyturtles for writing such brilliant meta I almost...almost didn't have to write one myself)

Pat, Pran, Losing Parental Relationships, and Sex (a conversation with @shortpplfedup)

Our Dining Table

Silence (including conversation with @laowen)

Yutaka and Yukata

Bed Friend

True Colors? (a conversation with @dribs-and-drabbles and @respectthepetty)

Uea and Red

Reflections + Uea and Yellow

Uea and Gray (a conversation with @respectthepetty) Uea and Gray but this time not tacked on to RTP's post

Mommy Dearest 2.0

Uea's Episode 7 Costumes

Bed Friend and Reflections- Part 1

Bed Friend and Reflections- Part 2

Bed Friend and Reflections- Part 3 (this is my favorite of the parts)

Water, Songkran, and KingUea

Moonlight Chicken

Heart Confrontation Scene

Heart and Li Ming Colors and Stripes

Red, Wen, and Blue

Naming the Deaf Character Heart

Heart's Communication

Wen's Badge Parallel

Modern Thai Sign Language to American Sign Language Index

Heart's Vocalization

Mommy Dearest (Jam and Li MIng)

Isn't it Difficult to Be Born Poor?

Moonlight Chicken is for the Queers

Resolution

Heart's Signs Translated (this one is not mine, but I don't want to lose this post so I am placing it here)

Best Criers in MLC

Worst Parallel

Utsukushii Kare

Self-Deprecation Harms Everyone

Our Flag Means Death

Over-analyzing the Color Red

Silk as Symbolism for Ed's Heart

[thedeliverygod]

Hey all. I'm sorry to be doing this again but I once again got fucked over by a combo of overdraft fees & an automatic payment for my surgery bill, of which came to a total of $144.

On Saturday I sold a variety of books, CDs, video games and toys to my local used bookstore and got $80. I also made $20 doing surveys online. I was already in the negatives & all this money went towards trying to ease that situation. Unfortunately all of that was for naught after the overdraft fees & the auto draft (to be more specific the medical bill was $36 and it was 3 overdraft charges for $36 each, so yeah)

I understand anyone who's just like "nah I don't wanna help you're just irresponsible". I feel like a lot of my friends feel that way about me at this point but I really am trying my hardest to get my shit together. I used to be horrified at the idea of asking for help but now I'm just kinda numb because I don't know what else to do. Short of making an only fans or something like that, I feel like I'm trying to do everything that I'm mentally/physically capable of doing to get 'extra' money.

All of my subscriptions minus crunchyroll are cancelled, I just got a quote for much cheaper car insurance so I'll get that switched over soon. I cut down my phone bill by like $40+ a month or two ago. I talked with a friend about budgeting tips which I did already apply some of those such as a method for grocery shopping.

TLDR: I'm trying my damndest to try and get my money shit in order but I'm still struggling. If you feel comfortable donating any amount please use ko-fi. If you don't, I get it. If you want to help but don't have the funds to do so, I feel you, but if you could please share that'd be appreciated.

As my thank you note on ko-fi says, I'd love to do a fanfic as thanks for any donation if you feel so inclined; you can make the request on ko-fi itself or here on tumblr if you'd prefer (including anonymously).

Lastly, if you're aware of a decent paying job that isn't customer service based that's remote or in the triad or the RTP area of North Carolina, let me know. Job searching sucks ass but the current $16.25 I make isn't holding up to this insane inflation, particularly my rent which is almost entirely 1 of my 2 monthly paychecks.

[danizbunbunz]

HOPES CALAMITY (2/4)

- AU BY @danizmomota -

TW/CW: Blood, Brainwashing, Branding on humans, HUGE mention on Graphic Injuries, (in the form of writing) Drug usage, mention of executions, Basic Danganronpa stuff.

This is more info off of my Danganronpa AU called Hope's Calamity. If this is your first time hearing about this AU and are interested, and advise you click here to know more!

However if you already know about this AU, Let's get to the yapping!

☆ Remnant Transformation Process (RTP)

Now, you may be wondering. "How do the students become Remnants in the first place?" Well, it's a whole not-so fun process of becoming a true remnant of despair. First we need to explain the steps...

Number 1, Brainwashing.

Whenever Junko gets her hands onto a student, it's only natural for them to fight back against her in self defense, therefore she must hold them down along with her Monokumas and get them ready for the first step. With the help of a simple screening, she can successfully brainwash them into joining her side. The side of despair.

Number 2, Operations

Operations happen once the victim is brainwashed and unconscious, these operations are the most important step. Here we figure out how our new remnant is going to be presented.

Regular - A standard operation that examines the student for any external injuries. The only thing that Junko tinkers with is any internal injuries that the student had received. (Deep cuts, broken bones, etc.)

Take & Replace - An operation where certain limbs and or organs are removed and are replaced with new prosthetics/organs. Or (sometimes) not even replacing them at all. Just straight up dissection and dismemberment.

Modification - An operation that basically adds extra limbs/parts onto the preexisting body. This is sometimes paired with Take & Replace but since this operation is a long and tedious process, remnants who get this treatment end up being out of commission for longer.

And finally, Branding

Now just because they were brainwashed and operated on, doesn't mean we're done yet with the RTP. The final step is to the brand them under Junko.

Once they are finally branded, she finally lets them rest and heal up until they are ready for the destruction they will cause.

Those are usually the steps, however in worse cases that the “experiment” isn’t cooperating, (for example, not shutting up, fighting back, etc.) Brainwashing comes last. For every second, for every minute, for every hour. You feel everything.

☆ Remnant Regulations/Rules

If you fail a mission, disobey, or speak negatively about Junko, you receive punishment by getting your back sliced by Junko's knife. Regular remnants have only five "strikes" until they are fully punished in the form of execution. However Elite remnants (Yasuhiro, Aoi and Toko) only get three since they are expected to finish missions quicker, and professionally than most. (And that’s being generous.)

Speaking of the "punishments," whenever a remnant is being punished, most of the time it is a slow and painful ending, however Elite remnants suffer harsher punishment, mainly due to them being so high in rank, you'd think they'd do their job well by now...

Remnants are allowed to talk and socialize, but only for a period of time, Everyone is on a tight schedule here, and if you are gone from your post for too long, you are deemed suspicious. Cameras are everywhere. You can't hide from her. She knows your every move.

☆ Enhancement Drug

In the previous post, you may have noticed that this “Enhancement Drug” has been mentioned quite frequently, but why is it so important?

Well that’s because of its contents. The drug does exactly what it sounds like, it “Enhances” your performance. (Strength, Durability, Resistance, etc.) But again, this is a drug we’re talking about, so it may seem useful but this drug comes with a lethal consequence. Though the drug may make you feel powerful, it's slowly destroying you from the inside out, it'll make you forget everything, it'll make you lose yourself. the longer you are alive, the more it will slowly kill you quicker...

...Basically, it's a last resort.

Dani here again! Thank you for waiting patiently for more stuff of this AU! I've been procrastinating and I have my own life to deal with so sorry for the long wait lmaooo BUT don't worry! I'll have lot's more to shares soon! ^_^