#romo favorable aro

[pansexual-pied-piper]

Aros who date deserve space to talk about their dating life in aro spaces.

Aros who feel romantic attraction deserve space to talk about their attraction in aro spaces.

Aros who enjoy romance in any form deserve space to talk about it in aro spaces.

Romo aros belong in aro spaces and deserve to feel heard and welcome.

[callsignsundance]

hey it's ok to be aro and still want a relationship. we are allowed to exist, we are just as valid as all aromantics.

i say this because, as a romance-favourable aromantic, i feel a bit distanced from the community and i'm scared to share my experiences because i don't want to be seen as 'pushing the stereotypes' etc.

this is all i feel comfortable saying right now, but i might post more about it later.

all i have to say is, romance-favourable aros are real and valid. we are here

[pondererswandererswonders]

Aros/arospecs of Tumblr, suggest some songs to me that you find aro-coded, or [insert] attraction-coded, and I'll see if I can add it to my Spotify aromantic playlist!

Here's the link to my playlist to check out what I already have, though it's kind of long as shit: A Gift From A Loveless Something

[aro-culture-is]

Romance-favorable Aro culture is thinking you were Allo because you only saw Romance-repulsed Aro rep… until you stumbled on a Romance-positive Aro blog, then read about Romance Stances, and suddenly realized that thinking “oh I don’t hate romance so I must not be Aro (even though I’ve never felt romantic attraction haha)” was actually the just Amatonormativity talking and you’re a massive Aromantic 💚🤍🖤

.

[abroachillean]

gg to my fellow aros who enjoy romance. its fun and we get to be living 'paradoxes' <2. romance is my favorite.

[aroapl]

Shoutout to ALL aromantics! To aroaces, aroallos, neu aros, nonsam aros. To loveless aros and heartless aros. To lovequeer aros, lovelustic aros, arolovic aros. To aplatonic aros, afamilial aros, analterous aros. To nonaesthetic aros, asensual aros, anattractional aros. To aroqueers, unit aros, primaros. To romo aros, partnering aros, polyamorous aros. To nonpartnering aros and nonamorous aros. To polyplatonic and polyerosis aros. To romance favorable, romance indifference, romance averse, romance repulsed, and romance ambivalent aros. To arospecs of all kinds and questioning aros. To aros who love being aro and aros who still have a hard time with it. To aros that are out, loud, and proud, and aros that are closeted. To gay aros, straight aros, bi aros, and aros of every identity under the sun! To aros all over the world! Shoutout to aros!! You're all so wonderful!

[cosmossystem]

just saw a post from an asexual (in the tags) saying that they arent sex positive theyre "sex neutral" because why should they be positive about what other people do when theyre actively repulsed by it and i just. aside from all of the obvious problems with that statement, im really just reminded that kinky & sex-preferable aces and romance-favorable aros & aros in relationships truly are the black sheep of their own fucking communities. we cant just exist anywhere because yall gotta be fucking weird about it. whenever we remind people that we exist theres always the voice chiming in "but dont forget that not all aro/ace people are like that!! 😊😊 most of us are sex/romo repulsed!!!" yes thank you. i feel very included in my community

[enbyman]

I'm not really loving people placing this discourse as "loveless aros vs romo-favorable and/or partnering aros" being a loveless romo-favorable partnering-aro. Loveless ≠ non-partnering. Loveless ≠ romo-averse. I'm loveless and all these things, and fucking cupioromantic, and I still have no idea what that person is trying to say

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

I think an important thing to keep in mind when I talk about how some ace and aro people manage to get into a position where they're conditionally accepted by amatonormative society as long as they seem to be appropriately interested in sex and romance is that like. I'm not saying "if you're interested in sex and romance then fuck you, you're a class traitor and you don't belong here" or anything like that. I think talking about this has angered a lot of people in the past specifically because they assume I'm attacking them for their interests when I'm very much not.

The acceptance I'm talking about very much is conditional. If you have it, you have it because the "favorable" part of your identity is more visible to those who are granting you that acceptance than the "aromantic" and/or "asexual" part(s) of your identity. But if that is reversed, if one day your boundaries around sex and/or romance change in a way that isn't as entertaining to the people who currently think you're One Of The Good Ones, you won't have that conditional acceptance anymore.

When I say that our advocacy has to center those who cannot ever be accepted as One Of The Good Ones, it's not because I hate sex-favorable aces or romo aros. I care a great deal about both groups actually. The reason I believe that indefinite refusers and sex/romance-averse and repulsed people should be prioritized in ace/aro activism is because if we are accepted unconditionally, then so is everyone else, and if we are an acceptable target, anyone in the community can be one too.

[lawofcollage]

This is the Romo Aro flag.

“A romantic aromantic, an opt in umbrella term for aros who are romance favorable, partnering, lovequeer, experience some amount of romantic attraction (ex greyros or arospecs), desire romantic attraction or relationships, or otherwise identify with the term. ; seems or feels “too romantic to be aromantic””

Redbubble, Threadless

Looking for a collection of pride flags year round? Check out my Coffee Table Book of Pride Flags full of fun queer art here!

[ask-asexual-crystal-gems]

I'll bite, how do you find poly people to just tag along with? And why wouldn't constantly being around people in a relationship, while not *really* being a part of it yourself, not make the whole feeling worse?

The same way you find Comic Cons, generalized interest groups, meetups, clubs, or any other queer groups. The internet.

For context: this person seems to have read my suggestion for aro people to link up with poly people because they don’t do the toxic monogamy scarcity-mindset of love thing, which results in neglecting or jettisoning friendships.

Anon, if you are put off by the idea of gaining more social bonds in this way, consider:

(1) you may not actually be wholly aromantic, but be a cupioromatic (you actively want to be in a romantic relationship, you just don’t have the same feelings about it or drive for it as an allo)

OR

(2) you may have some internalized arophobia to work out (bonds you form with people as an aromantic are conceptualized as ‘inferior’ when relationship anarchy says they’re not. This is an absorbed idea from society that makes you feel bad by affecting how you view things)

(3) you’re carrying baggage from friends dumping you for romo bonds. (this is subconsciously reminding you of those shitty experiences)

If it’s (1), the solution is to simply have a romantic (but not sexual, if you don’t want that, if not ‘favorable ace’) relationship with the polycule (or a given person within the polycule)

If it’s (2) or (3) that’s gonna take some self-reflection and some sorting through feelings to release them.

It is VERY common for aces and aros to offer open relationships to partners they obtain, so they can get those sexual or romantic desires met elsewhere.

In this, you get your need met- have a partner, maybe even a primary partner, and they get theirs met.

This doesn’t always happen in the context of both people being already-familiar with poly, but it IS one of the reasons poly is perfectly positioned to shore up ace/aro loneliness.

@miloway

[avpdculture]

(romo favorable) aro avpd culture is loving the idea of romance in fiction, but only being willing to even try it with your safe person if you even have one. you're not quite romantically attracted to them but it's as close as you can get

~

[our-alterous-experience]

What kind of relationship would you want with someone you have alterous feelings for? Would you be open to a romantic relationship with an allo, or would it be a qpr? or sth else?

Honestly i think this is what makes the alterous experience such a diverse thing.

I’ve dated two people since i’ve came out aro/apl/alterous. I started dating someone while I was still coming to find out what alterous was. And that relationship it was implied my allo(?) partner said their feelings weren’t exactly romantic or platonic either. Since then I’ve also more directly embraced polyamory around the time before I met my current boyfriend. I’m not sure if he’s romo pilled @ me but we r gay at each other and we are dating.

I think what’s important to me is that who I’m dating knows I won’t feel romantic feelings Like That, I won’t experience platonic feelings, it’s something much different and expansive in its own way. That being said I’m very devoted to certain ideas related to romance so despite me being aroapl I really am relationship favorable.

I honestly haven’t had a relationship where I’ve heard someone talk about having direct romantic feelings for me. At least not in the most explicit way. I think it would be flattering and if I liked them like that it would make dating or pairing up viable which I’d probably enjoy!

But one of the largest reasons I was like. Oh im hella aplatonic bc. I always wanted queer relationship but was sooo uncomfortable with the idea of being in a qpr. And I think that’s just bc of the “platonic” implication. Because I don’t do platonic feelings. I think if someone did like me in a like platonic squish way, I don’t know how I would be actually comfortable dating that person? So idk it would have to be talked through.

I like dating people who are attracted to me in queer ways and I would like dating someone who liked me romantically! I’ll never call my experience with someone a QPR but if my partner wanted to call it that I would just make it clear as possible that that’s not the same status I’m in. No matter how my partner liked me, if they were someone I genuinely really got along with I could probably trust them enough to love me in whatever their capacity is because we’ve built up a strong relationship, or we have the possibility of doing so in the future.

[aro-culture-is]

What orientation is this.....?

I don't experience romantic attraction.

But I will have romantic love and emotions in a romantic relationship

. Like for instance, a fully asexual person can be sex favorable I think the exact term is. and find sex to give pleasure.

I find romantic relationships to give me the same emotions it gives alloromantics. But I don't experience attraction for it.

I won't think see someone and think "I wanna be with them" genuinely.

But i do have romantic love. Just never attraction

honestly i think "romance favorable" doesn't have quite the same meaning in the aro community as "sex favorable" does in the ace community, but perhaps cupioromantic and/or romo aro work for you. some folks with similar feelings, but who think they may experience romantic attraction only if someone else experiences it to them first may find requiromantic to be a useful term for them.

in general, these terms and more can be found here:

[aroacefounder]

Once again wishing that there was an identity based around the lived experience of hardline indefinite romantic and sexual refusal that was not also based around trying to police other people's personal choices in regards to sexual/romantic activity

All the people who want what I want in terms of community tend to be like. We're The True™ Aces/Aros type people (which I'm not, as much as I do not understand why a person who experiences partial/occasional attraction or interest would want to identify as ace/aro, I accept that many do because I don't have to understand another's lived experience to accept it) or like. Antisexuals, who genuinely fucking terrify me.

I would really like for an indefinite refusal community to exist without quibbling over who's a Valid (I hate that fucking word) Ace/Aro or trying to make sex illegal but I guess I'm shit out of luck and have to sit here pretending to have things in common with sex-favorable kinky cupiosexuals and romo aros if I want to have anything resembling community

[aro-sora]

Arospec ask for Sora!

Arospec Sora my beloved 💚

What arospec identities do they have? (Can be as specific or vague as desired)

I generally just call him aro but more specifically: non-sam aro, heartless, and quoiromantic

How proud of being arospec are they?

He's very proud! Just a little nervous about showing it at first

Are they out? If so, how did they come out, and to whom?

Only to Strelitzia, who helps him figure out how he wants to come out. When he returns from Quadratum he first tells Kairi and Riku, then Roxas, Xion, and Ventus.

When he talks to Kairi and Riku they're super happy and supportive. For Roxas and Xion he causally mentions being aro in conversation. Ventus actually comes out to Sora as aro and then Sora is like "me too!"

How do they feel about romance? Romance-favorable? Romance-neutral? Romance-repulsed? Or does it fluctuate?

Fluctuates between indifferent, favorable, and averse. Sora is very affectionate but he's uncomfortable with calling it romantic. Sometimes ok with a soft romo relationship if things are clearly discussed first. I don't really see him as being romance-repulsed. He can tell when other people are in love and cheers them on from the sidelines. His own relationships though? Quoiromantic confusion

Have they ever experienced arophobia? If so, how?

Not really malicious arophobia, but sometimes people will make some arophobic/amatonormative comments about him and his friends without thinking

How do they show their arospec pride?

A white aro ring engraved with his crown emblem! Once he's out to his friends he's more open about showing his pride by wearing a pin and talking about aromanticism

Do they actively try to combat amatonormativity in their daily lives or elsewhere? If so, how?

He corrects people who make assumptions about his relationships and he'll talk to people about aromanticism when they're willing to listen

Was it easy for them to label themselves arospec, or was there a long period of questioning? How many labels did they have to try before landing on the one they use now?

He knew he was arospec pretty quickly once he first learned what aromanticism is, though he alternated using other arospec labels like demi or gray before settling on quoiromantic. He uses the heartless label after meeting Strelitzia

Would they be interested in a QPR? Why or why not?

Maybe? I like both partnering and non-partnering arospec Sora so it really depends on my mood tbh. My favorite qpps for Sora are Riku, Kairi, and Roxas (but I could also get behind a qpr with other characters too)

Final thoughts?

These are my specific headcanons and any version of arospec Sora is good to me 💚

Thanks for the ask!