[We might have questions for you, too! Humans puzzle us, not just in this way!] I have had people complain at me for using this url name and including so much asexual spectrum discourse here, but I have no idea what to name it if I converted fully away (or mainly away?) from SU asks. Suggestions welcome. I try to remember to tag all discussions about sex with “sex repulsion tw” please tell me if I flub and miss one.
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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You share that in common with the majority of allo cis women, actually.
I’m glad I found stuff like this and what “responsive desire” is, because it gave me a very holistic look at AFABs, and the rather strong commonalities between ace spec AFABs and the rest of AFABs. It’s why I have the probably unpopular opinion of being hesitant about the designation of ace spec women being “other,” ie, strictly “queer,” even.* It assured me that I most likely was not missing out on anything when it came to having a no-PIV stance, and it also gave me a confirmed unpopular but more grounded understanding of fighting over what constitutes consent.
*(The line there is extremely blurry. Everything is a spectrum, not neatly fitting into human-constructed linguistic categories. Almost like how someone with the gender “demi-boy” might, by a certain way of looking at it, be a little ‘less queer’ than a trans woman. Which obviously is not something people like to hear, either, as being “more queer” is often held up as a moral good somehow- especially wrt to upholding biphobia- or a standard to meet, instead of just a state of being.)
Hey, look, a non-penetrative identity is forming for mlm
Any way we could get that mainstreamed as a validated option for het sex as well??
It’d be nice to have sex with minimized risk of stds and no risk of running afoul of these danged abortion restrictions
https://lovebeastly.com/2018/09/21/not-a-top-bottom-or-vers-are-you-a-side/amp/
#sex repulsion tw#cw sex mention#asexuality#ace#afab problems#radfem without the TERF#feminism#sex education#consent
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oh btw I re-read that “Timon and Pumbaa have a QPR” post … I thought you were calling the aro person’s response for just not being into Nala/Simba “anti”- now I see you were talking about OP and the in-world reaction.
So, it appears Timon and Pumbaa have been burned like that before: had a third Musketeer leave and never give them a second glance. In that respect, as a reaction to amatonormativity, which is always wrong, it is totally understandable to be upset. If they were playing it seriously, they would’ve expressed this /to/ Simba, but it was largely meant as a gag. You’re clearly supposed to laugh at the over-exaggerated reaction. Some lightening up is in order, methinks.
(sorry op of this post, the i-reblog-ableists person has DMs off or I would send one instead of tying up this post. Anyway long story short, I am correcting the response about the QPR post, however, I stand by what I said about “this literally isn’t ableism”- it may be something else you deem “problematic” but to use the reblogger’s own words- ableism ain’t it.)
i love being funlink i love choosing my fictotypes and kintypes i love being "a chosen therian" i love kinning characters for no reason other than it's fun and i can and i love calling myself a kinnie i love kinning for my own enjoyment i love doing whatever i want forever
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This is soooo unintentionally kissing-repulsed coded it’s GREAT
#thanks for making me feel seen even though that was the furthest from your intention given that outfit#women in impractical clothing#sex repulsion#asexual
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you're allowed to say "sex" on the internet. See? I just did it. Sex. Sex sex sex. You don't have to say s*x or smex or Adult Fun Times or s3x or "spice" any other variation of self-censorship on tumblr dot com you can just spell out the word SEX i am going to scream until the heat death of the universe
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How I learned to write smarter, not harder
(aka, how to write when you're hella ADHD lol)
A reader commented on my current long fic asking how I write so well. I replied with an essay of my honestly pretty non-standard writing advice (that they probably didn't actually want lol) Now I'm gonna share it with you guys and hopefully there's a few of you out there who will benefit from my past mistakes and find some useful advice in here. XD Since I started doing this stuff, which are all pretty easy changes to absorb into your process if you want to try them, I now almost never get writer's block.
The text of the original reply is indented, and I've added some additional commentary to expand upon and clarify some of the concepts.
As for writing well, I usually attribute it to the fact that I spent roughly four years in my late teens/early 20s writing text roleplay with a friend for hours every single day. Aside from the constant practice that provided, having a live audience immediately reacting to everything I wrote made me think a lot about how to make as many sentences as possible have maximum impact so that I could get that kind of fun reaction. (Which is another reason why comments like yours are so valuable to fanfic writers! <3) The other factors that have improved my writing are thus: 1. Writing nonlinearly. I used to write a whole story in order, from the first sentence onward. If there was a part I was excited to write, I slogged through everything to get there, thinking that it would be my reward once I finished everything that led up to that. It never worked. XD It was miserable. By the time I got to the part I wanted to write, I had beaten the scene to death in my head imagining all the ways I could write it, and it a) no longer interested me and b) could not live up to my expectations because I couldn't remember all my ideas I'd had for writing it. The scene came out mediocre and so did everything leading up to it. Since then, I learned through working on VN writing (I co-own a game studio and we have some visual novels that I write for) that I don't have to write linearly. If I'm inspired to write a scene, I just write it immediately. It usually comes out pretty good even in a first draft! But then I also have it for if I get more ideas for that scene later, and I can just edit them in. The scenes come out MUCH stronger because of this. And you know what else I discovered? Those scenes I slogged through before weren't scenes I had no inspiration for, I just didn't have any inspiration for them in that moment! I can't tell you how many times there was a scene I had no interest in writing, and then a week later I'd get struck by the perfect inspiration for it! Those are scenes I would have done a very mediocre job on, and now they can be some of the most powerful scenes because I gave them time to marinate. Inspiration isn't always linear, so writing doesn't have to be either!
Some people are the type that joyfully write linearly. I have a friend like this--she picks up the characters and just continues playing out the next scene. Her story progresses through the entire day-by-day lives of the characters; it never timeskips more than a few hours. She started writing and posting just eight months ago, she's about an eighth of the way through her planned fic timeline, and the content she has so far posted to AO3 for it is already 450,000 words long. But most of us are normal humans. We're not, for the most part, wired to create linearly. We consume linearly, we experience linearly, so we assume we must also create linearly. But actually, a lot of us really suffer from trying to force ourselves to create this way, and we might not even realize it. If you're the kind of person who thinks you need to carrot-on-a-stick yourself into writing by saving the fun part for when you finally write everything that happens before it: Stop. You're probably not a linear writer. You're making yourself suffer for no reason and your writing is probably suffering for it. At least give nonlinear writing a try before you assume you can't write if you're not baiting or forcing yourself into it!! Remember: Writing is fun. You do this because it's fun, because it's your hobby. If you're miserable 80% of the time you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong!
2. Rereading my own work. I used to hate reading my own work. I wouldn't even edit it usually. I would write it and slap it online and try not to look at it again. XD Writing nonlinearly forced me to start rereading because I needed to make sure scenes connected together naturally and it also made it easier to get into the headspace of the story to keep writing and fill in the blanks and get new inspiration. Doing this built the editing process into my writing process--I would read a scene to get back in the headspace, dislike what I had written, and just clean it up on the fly. I still never ever sit down to 'edit' my work. I just reread it to prep for writing and it ends up editing itself. Many many scenes in this fic I have read probably a dozen times or more! (And now, I can actually reread my own work for enjoyment!) Another thing I found from doing this that it became easy to see patterns and themes in my work and strengthen them. Foreshadowing became easy. Setting up for jokes or plot points became easy. I didn't have to plan out my story in advance or write an outline, because the scenes themselves because a sort of living outline on their own. (Yes, despite all the foreshadowing and recurring thematic elements and secret hidden meanings sprinkled throughout this story, it actually never had an outline or a plan for any of that. It's all a natural byproduct of writing nonlinearly and rereading.)
Unpopular writing opinion time: You don't need to make a detailed outline.
Some people thrive on having an outline and planning out every detail before they sit down to write. But I know for a lot of us, we don't know how to write an outline or how to use it once we've written it. The idea of making one is daunting, and the advice that it's the only way to write or beat writer's block is demoralizing. So let me explain how I approach "outlining" which isn't really outlining at all.
I write in a Notion table, where every scene is a separate table entry and the scene is written in the page inside that entry. I do this because it makes writing nonlinearly VASTLY more intuitive and straightforward than writing in a single document. (If you're familiar with Notion, this probably makes perfect sense to you. If you're not, imagine something a little like a more contained Google Sheets, but every row has a title cell that opens into a unique Google Doc when you click on it. And it's not as slow and clunky as the Google suite lol) (Edit from the future: I answered an ask with more explanation on how I use Notion for non-linear writing here.) When I sit down to begin a new fic idea, I make a quick entry in the table for every scene I already know I'll want or need, with the entries titled with a couple words or a sentence that describes what will be in that scene so I'll remember it later. Basically, it's the most absolute bare-bones skeleton of what I vaguely know will probably happen in the story.
Then I start writing, wherever I want in the list. As I write, ideas for new scenes and new connections and themes will emerge over time, and I'll just slot them in between the original entries wherever they naturally fit, rearranging as necessary, so that I won't forget about them later when I'm ready to write them. As an example, my current long fic started with a list of roughly 35 scenes that I knew I wanted or needed, for a fic that will probably be around 100k words (which I didn't know at the time haha). As of this writing, it has expanded to 129 scenes. And since I write them directly in the page entries for the table, the fic is actually its own outline, without any additional effort on my part. As I said in the comment reply--a living outline!
This also made it easier to let go of the notion that I had to write something exactly right the first time. (People always say you should do this, but how many of us do? It's harder than it sounds! I didn't want to commit to editing later! I didn't want to reread my work! XD) I know I'm going to edit it naturally anyway, so I can feel okay giving myself permission to just write it approximately right and I can fix it later. And what I found from that was that sometimes what I believed was kind of meh when I wrote it was actually totally fine when I read it later! Sometimes the internal critic is actually wrong. 3. Marinating in the headspace of the story. For the first two months I worked on [fic], I did not consume any media other than [fandom the fic is in]. I didn't watch, read, or play anything else. Not even mobile games. (And there wasn't really much fan content for [fandom] to consume either. Still isn't, really. XD) This basically forced me to treat writing my story as my only source of entertainment, and kept me from getting distracted or inspired to write other ideas and abandon this one.
As an aside, I don't think this is a necessary step for writing, but if you really want to be productive in a short burst, I do highly recommend going on a media consumption hiatus. Not forever, obviously! Consuming media is a valuable tool for new inspiration, and reading other's work (both good and bad, as long as you think critically to identify the differences!) is an invaluable resource for improving your writing.
When I write, I usually lay down, close my eyes, and play the scene I'm interested in writing in my head. I even take a ten-minute nap now and then during this process. (I find being in a state of partial drowsiness, but not outright sleepiness, makes writing easier and better. Sleep helps the brain process and make connections!) Then I roll over to the laptop next to me and type up whatever I felt like worked for the scene. This may mean I write half a sentence at a time between intervals of closed-eye-time XD
People always say if you're stuck, you need to outline.
What they actually mean by that (whether they realize it or not) is that if you're stuck, you need to brainstorm. You need to marinate. You don't need to plan what you're doing, you just need to give yourself time to think about it!
What's another framing for brainstorming for your fic? Fantasizing about it! Planning is work, but fantasizing isn't.
You're already fantasizing about it, right? That's why you're writing it. Just direct that effort toward the scenes you're trying to write next! Close your eyes, lay back, and fantasize what the characters do and how they react.
And then quickly note down your inspirations so you don't forget, haha.
And if a scene is so boring to you that even fantasizing about it sucks--it's probably a bad scene.
If it's boring to write, it's going to be boring to read. Ask yourself why you wanted that scene. Is it even necessary? Can you cut it? Can you replace it with a different scene that serves the same purpose but approaches the problem from a different angle? If you can't remove the troublesome scene, what can you change about it that would make it interesting or exciting for you to write?
And I can't write sitting up to save my damn life. It's like my brain just stops working if I have to sit in a chair and stare at a computer screen. I need to be able to lie down, even if I don't use it! Talking walks and swinging in a hammock are also fantastic places to get scene ideas worked out, because the rhythmic motion also helps our brain process. It's just a little harder to work on a laptop in those scenarios. XD
In conclusion: Writing nonlinearly is an amazing tool for kicking writer's block to the curb. There's almost always some scene you'll want to write. If there isn't, you need to re-read or marinate.
Or you need to use the bathroom, eat something, or sleep. XD Seriously, if you're that stuck, assess your current physical condition. You might just be unable to focus because you're uncomfortable and you haven't realized it yet.
Anyway! I hope that was helpful, or at least interesting! XD Sorry again for the text wall. (I think this is the longest comment reply I've ever written!)
And same to you guys on tumblr--I hope this was helpful or at least interesting. XD Reblogs appreciated if so! (Maybe it'll help someone else!)
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As I have time I’ve been trying to make pride flag themed dice. I haven’t gotten many done-but let’s start with asexual (also could work for demisexual as well). #dice #dicemaker #pride #pridedice #seamstress #plush #plushies #plushmaker #plushydice #d20 #d8 #prideflags #lgbtq #lgbtqia #asexual #demisexual #thisbarbieis #barbie #ken #barbieandken
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i never see enough tips for trans women/transfem people so. here’s a video that came up about tucking :] (don’t worry she doesn’t use tape at all despite the thumbnail)
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Wait so, this is interesting given Garlic Bread is such a meme among aces … are there foods you go bananas over, or are both forms of anticipatory-for-pleasure buzz lost on you?
As An Analogy For Asexuality
I've seen everyone on forums compare sex to food. And it's accurate.
Sex as a dessert like pie.
Maybe you like pie. Maybe you don't like pie. Maybe you'll hurl if you even think about pie.
For me, sex is like pizza.
I remember when pizza days happened in school. Everyone was so excited for pizza. They loved it. Everyone would go absolutely BATSHIT for pizza and this reaction would happen every time.
Me? I don't really care for pizza.
Don't get me wrong. It's not bad.
I've eaten pizza. I'll likely eat pizza again.
But it amazes me that some people would have pizza every day if they could.
Some people still treat pizza similar to when a pizza day was announced to them as a student.
I wish I could be as excited as some people over pizza.
But I love watching my friends get so excited over something so mediocre to me.
And sometimes I share in that excitement, because it's the thing to be excited about, right?
And it's fine. I don't regret it.
But there's more in life to get excited about than pizza.
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Birds of a feather flock together
Accidentally Pulling Friends Out of the Closet?
At the beginning of the book Ace by Angela Chen, she asks her allo friend to describe what sexual attraction felt like. And so as an exercise, I decided to ask my allo friends the same question. Mostly inner circle, mostly queer for context. And their answers were surprisingly close to how it was described in the book by the author's friend. But then I went to a couple other friends of mine and asked them the same question. One recently got married. She seemed like a good person to ask.
But when I asked her, she got really quiet.
As an aside, this friend received her autism diagnosis last year and as she described her journey, I said that a lot of it sounded familiar. She playfully nudged me often about it like "Maybe you too? Eh??"
A playful back-and-forth between us about autism and the spectrum. I learned a lot from her. I asked, "So... What does sexual attraction feel like for you?" And with a look on her face that said I broke her brain, she slowly answered, "I... don't know?"
"What do you MEAN you don't know??"
"I don't know! It's kind of... uh.... well... what does it feel like for you??" "I don't feel it! That's why I'm asking you!"
The best way to describe our proceeding conversation was almost like two aliens that had been told about human sexual attraction who were trying their very best to cobble together some kind of paper to report to their fellow aliens. It was my turn to nudge my friend in a "You too???" Kind of way.
But what's funny is that this conversation happened not once, but twice, with a completely different friend. I asked him what sexual desire felt like for him. And again, I was met with an alien-like conversation about sexual attraction.
We know of the attraction. We have tried human dating. We have had human sex.
Yet, we cannot tell each other what sexual attraction feels like. It invokes a mental 404.
For my allo friends, the answer came quite easy and there was a similarity to what the book said. For me and my (alleged) ace friends, a theory.
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Yes geologists! Doing the important work 💖
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Find your own language to use, this isn’t “ableism.” It doesn’t align with your personal beliefs at worst- that’s not ableism. (if you’re confused reading this, look at the reblogger’s username). Ableism is hatred concerning the disabled or superior thinking concerning the abled.
btw good job trying to troll on my other post about the nature of the Timon and Pumbaa relationship- or maybe you were being serious, who knows. Hard to tell.
If you were being serious, it couldn’t possibly line up any better with this:
So ig you probably meant it? If it’s as common an irrational and assumptive behavior, a huge leap beyond anything actually going on.
i love being funlink i love choosing my fictotypes and kintypes i love being "a chosen therian" i love kinning characters for no reason other than it's fun and i can and i love calling myself a kinnie i love kinning for my own enjoyment i love doing whatever i want forever
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I think it’s REALLY significant that instead of macking on each other as would be the norm in this sort of trope, he just hugs.
Blitz has spent the entire series being a foul-mouthed horndog and has hundreds of notches in his bedpost, therefore when he does a simple affectionate gesture, it stands out all the more.
It’s a similar vibe to the way Moxxie and Millie’s more simple love song went hard against the grain.
It’s really funny that a show which is all about Da Sex really manages to show romance in such stark contrast.
"How many times have you watched this?"
Me:"Yes"
#I’m romance repulsed but SOMEHOW when it’s contrasted with constant sex it makes it appealing?#what is this witchcraft#still don’t ship it but I appreciate the craft#VivziePop really falls down in a lot of storytelling aspects- but for once she’s come up with a unique angle that really works#helluva boss discourse
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if you use music to cope with anxiety, depression or to help with your ADHD (like me) reblog, I'm trying to prove a point to my teacher
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Oh. There’s a word for this? Nice.
I’m masc-favoring
Today’s Gender of the Day is: Agenderfluid!
Agenderfluid is a genderfluid identity where an individual has agender as the base of their identity, but it’s fluid between other genders. Someone who is agenderfluid may feel feminine one day but masculine the next, but their gender will always go back to being agender. Fluidity can be experienced between any number of genders, with feminine and masculine being the most common experience.
The version of this identity that fluctuates is called agenderflux. This identity falls under the multigender, agender, and genderfluid umbrellas.
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[ID: Five pixel hearts of various flags in order being Romance Favorable, Romance Repulsed, Romance Ambivalent, Romance Indifferent and Romance Averse. End ID]
Wiki user? Romance Averse
@beyond-mogai-pride-flags the rest
#romance stances#romance favorable#romance averse#romance repulsed#romance indifferent#romance ambivalent#pixel#discord emoji
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Babe, new QPR just dropped!
Gosha and Yahya from Beastars!
Imagine the tragedy if Watson had “left” Sherlock over Mary- similar vibe ngl.
#big “if only the romance hadn’t gotten in the way of their tag-team’ vibes#fix it fic#beastars#queerplatonic relationship#beastars yahya
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