pansexual-pied-piper

[pansexual-pied-piper]

*defining crush as: feeling a strong attraction or infatuation towards someone. It often involves feelings of excitement, admiration, and a desire for romantic or emotional or sexual connection with that person.

I am excluding celebrity and fictional crushes, as well as finding strangers attractive/hot momentarily. don't include any forced or pretending for the sake of normalcy crushes. thus only counting people you know and/or have been genuinely infatuated with for more than a day, preferably longer

reblog for more data please 🥰 this is for SCIENCE!!!

[pansexual-pied-piper]

Requested by littledemon55

[pansexual-pied-piper]

[pansexual-pied-piper]

alloace | alloaro

Microsoft Dragons!

[pansexual-pied-piper]

[IMAGE ID: twelve rectangular banners, all of which have blinking outlines. the six on the left have flashing names, while the six on the right have still gradients instead. the first four have the veldian/turian flag as a background, with a matching flashing border; the first two have the word “veldian” in the middle, and the third and fourth have the word "turian" in the middle. the fifth and sixth have the daybreak gay flag as a background, with a matching flashing border; they both have the words “daybreak gay” in the middle. the seventh and eighth have the polysexual flag as a background, with a matching flashing border; they both have the word “polysexual” in the middle. the ninth and tenth have the alloaro flag as a background, with a matching flashing border; they both have the word “alloaro” in the middle. the eleventh and twelfth have the pink and purple polyamorous flag as a background, with a matching flashing border; they both have the word “polyamorous” in the middle. END ID.]

a few blinkies for myself! free to use; please link back/credit if you can!

[pansexual-pied-piper]

AlloAro Snake

based on @ whimsy-flags

[pansexual-pied-piper]

If you, when you ask for advise on how to write AroAllo characters, use wording that implies you believe non-romantic sexual relationships are "strange" or would make a character appear "selfish" or "less human" or anything like that, or if you say that non-romantic sexual relationships will be read as the participants "using each others bodies" without caring for one another, even if you specify that you don't actually believe that and this is what readers would think, you do have some aro-phobic and amatonormative sentiments you need to get rid off first.

Because sure, some, perhaps even a lot, of your potential readers will make those assumptions. But there's quite literally nothing you can do about other people's aro-phobia and internalized amatonormativity (especially not to the level necessary, and in a fiction book).

But as the author, you do have to ask yourself if your representation should be for the actually aromantic people who'll read your book for the representation of them, or for alloromantic people who'll need every little detail spoon-fed and then still throw a tantrum because they can't relate to an aromantic character [no, not every alloro is like this. I get that you're one off the good ones. Now continue.]

The best way to make a non-romantic sexual relationship read as natural and normal is to just write it that way. Don't dwell on it longer than you would on other types of relationships! Don't make it seem like it's something weird or abnormal that needs to be discussed over fifty pages before the plot can continue. You don't have to do anything overly complicated and make your aromantic character jump through hoops to be understood; you can just have a character refer to their sexual partner as such, or call their relationship a sexual relationship (or "fuckbuddies" and similar terms if your characters are more crude), have them call themselves aromantic, and if it fits your plot you could have a conversation between the partners in a sexual relationship to define their relationship and feelings for one another just as you would for characters in any other type of relationship, and that's it. That's all you have to do. Congrats. You wrote an allosexual aromantic character in a sexual relationship.

Of course, there can be and often is a lot more to AlloAro representation, but a lot of you all are absolutely over-complicating the issue and making it much harder on yourself to create something. Especially if it's a side-character, it's absolutely alright to keep it simple! I promise you, as long as you treat your aromantic character normally and don't other them, and listen to aromantic people when they talk about their experiences and how they want to be represented, there really isn't much you can do so horribly wrong that we'll hunt you for sport or whatever horror-imaginations you have when you think about writing the "wrong" type of aromantic character.

Yes, a bunch of alloromantic readers won't like whatever you write about aromanticism. They'll say it feels "forced" and "unnatural", but that is on them. Because a lot of people simply believe aromantic people to be "unnatural", and there is nothing you can do to change their mind. No representation will be "good enough" to make everyone stop being aro-phobic.

Don't write your aromantic representation with aro-phobes in mind. Write it for your aromantic readers. They will thank you.

Also, always remember that all aros are different, and you can't possibly represent everyone in just one or a few characters, and you shouldn't be (and aren't) expected to. Know where your characters fall on the spectrum and how their aromanticism affects them, and write that, don't try to make them something all aromantics can "identify" with. That will only cause no aromantic person to be able to relate to them.

Other than that, really just write! Of course ask questions if you have them, but please stop using aro-phobic phrases such as above to ask them.

[pansexual-pied-piper]

aroace , alloaro , alloace eyes

[pansexual-pied-piper]

do other alloaro people know that as of the Sims 4’s newest expansion pack, the Grim Reaper is willing to have sex (woohoo) with you but still doesn’t want a romantic relationship! diversity win the embodiment of death is alloaro!

[pansexual-pied-piper]

every time someone says “love is love! there’s self-love—or you can love your pets and hobbies!!” i think aros, apls, afams, analterous, aqueerplatonics, aemotionals, etc., should be allowed to send a swarm of wasps at them

[pansexual-pied-piper]

Am I the only one that likes being an aspec? I've seen number of people hating themselves since of that & I barely see anyone liking it.

Lacking attraction is great, y'all just haven't reconciled w it yet/pos

[pansexual-pied-piper]

If you want to move forward in advocacy, you have to remove the stigma about not loving someone in any way, shape, or form. It doesn't mean you hate them, just... you don't love them. That binary of love/hate needs to be broken down for all types of love. This applies to aros and aces in relationships, yes, but goes double for aplatonics and afamilials who don't love their family or friends. Not loving someone isn't a condemnation of that person, it just means you don't feel that way about them. Lacking love doesn't mean you wish someone harm.

[pansexual-pied-piper]

As someone nonpartnering, I'm always dancing on the razor's edge of relating to and having no patience for "forever alone" sentiments from alloro single people.

Because on the one hand, to be perfectly honest, yes, I am lonely! And while there's numerous factors involved in that, my being single is one of them. It's hard not to feel isolated as a single adult and I'm very cognizant of my friends, coworkers, family members etc... who have this whole category of social life that I do not.

However. While if someone individually happens to want a partner, that's fine and well and good, but 'everyone must partner off' cannot continue to be the broader social model. If your mentality is 'I'll get a romantic partner and that'll be that', then you're contributing to the problem -- for both yourself and everyone else.

Community has to be the real focus. When I think about combatting loneliness, I think about universal basic income and affordable housing, walkable neighbourhoods and robust public transit, free community events (both in-person and online), access to high-quality affordable healthcare, access to public restrooms, etc...

Even if we woke up tomorrow to find sudden cultural acceptance of permanent singlehood as an option, I and many other people would still be lonely! We need to support social infrastructure outside of romantic relationships and nuclear families at the policy level. If you have to work multiple jobs to afford a place to live or if you have a 2 hour commute because the local bus service sucks or if the best spot in town to meet new people is an accessibility nightmare, all of these things are going to stifle community and we're still going to be lonely. I genuinely do sympathize with the plight of the single alloro, but there has to be an understanding that your individual loneliness is not the end of the line.

[pansexual-pied-piper]

one of the hardest things about being aro is that the minute you start explaining your identity (which you may have spent months and years processing, working through internalized hatred and feeling broken, grappling with the constant pressures of amatonormativity) to an alloro person they suddenly decide that no one on earth has ever valued romance more than friendship, that all romance is juat sex + friendship if you think about it, so ACTUALLY you don't need to identify as aromantic or talk about how being aro affects you or ask anyone to change anything about society ever and if you do, you are actually crazy :) and they still don't even know what amatonormativity means

[pansexual-pied-piper]

People really need to stop talking about aromantic people in such a way to suggest we need to, like, make up for our lack of romantic attraction? This ties into the whole "aromantic people can still date" and "aromantic people can have qprs" and "aromantic people still feel strong platonic love" pattern I keep seeing where it's as if people are trying to say "don't worry, they can still be mostly normal" and it is so frustrating to me as a non-partnering aromantic person and is likely even worse for aplatonic and loveless aros.

[pansexual-pied-piper]

alt ace-spec, aro-spec and apl-spec flags

symbols used : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

based on these flags : 1, 2, 3, 4

[pansexual-pied-piper]

Clips from the intersex documentary Every Body (2023) featuring interviews from Sean Saifa Wall, River Gallo, Alicia Roth Weigel, John Money, a 90's international intersex group meetup, a mother of an intersex kid who was told to stop having kids, and in the final clip, David Reimer - the man who was the basis for John Money's experimentation that is still used on intersex infants today.

This compilation is in response to the queer community on tumblr being painfully ignorant and unaware of the medical abuse intersex people endure today, and every day of our lives. For some reason, there's this idea that this sort of shit cannot be happening to us, because it's "malpractice" (despite being standard medical practice) or because it's rape or mutilation or child abuse, or because of any other reason. This is happening. This is very real. David Reimer ended his life a couple years after the interview given here. I was eleven when the medical abuse began and fifteen when I was assaulted and punished by a female OBGYN for being intersex.

Please care about our stories. Please believe us. PLEASE stop seeing our pleas for help and community as a challenge to you, your life, your identity, or other queer people. We are fucking suffering. Please listen, even if it hurts! Please understand that