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Pour one out for a real one.

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Maybe More People Are Arospec (Part 2)

Maybe More People Are Arospec, 2/3 -So explain the note from slide 5 : As a gray-aro, I want to clarify that most with this label experience gray-aromanticism differently. I can only speak for my own experiences, which is that I don't experience romantic attraction but (in the past) have experienced something that was close enough/briefly maybe the real thing (?) that I can know when attraction ISN'T romantic. (You can read more in my "Squishes vs. Crushes" comic by scrolling down further on my page 🐸) I’m only including this point because this ACTUAL conversation illustrates how much arospec people get told what we’re feeling, even when (in my case at least) we clearly know otherwise.

Which, speaking of - there are SO MANY MOMENTS in this part of the comic that are reinterpretations of things that I've genuinely experienced 😫😫 Sometimes I wonder what took me so long to accept my aromanticism, and moments like what I showed, especially the speech bubbles in the second last slide - gosh. There's a lot to unpack there 🙃 I think if there’s one thing that really surprised me to realize as I made this series, it’s the amount of casual arophobia that’s just … woven into so many stories and common ideologies. And though there’s a lot of work that needs to be done on that front, I will say that on the bright side realizing my identity has allowed me to confront and start to unlearn these harmful sentiments. Like actually understanding it’s not my FAULT that I’m arospec, nor is the expression of my aromanticism a fault of any kind to begin with - it’s really helped improve my mental health these past few years 💚💚

I've also got an update more about my personal life in the comments! But barring that, hello everyone, I'm glad to have this up now and I hope you're all doing well too and taking care of yourself this *holiday* season 🐸💚!!!

[Image Description:

Slide 1: Celia again sits on a green armchair in a living room. "Feelings are murky, and romantic attraction is perhaps the most poorly defined of them all. Ask any two people, and you'll get different answers"

Slide 2: "So … wouldn't it be logical to assume that because society categorizes ANY strong positive emotion for others as romantic love -"

Drawing of a classroom (based off of something Celia would have seen growing up in Health class anyway). Teacher, a faceless ginger woman stands talking gesturing towards a screen.

Screen says: "Signs of romantic love", with smaller icons underneath labelled "you think about them often", "you want to plan a future with them", "you always feel like smiling when you're with them"

The teacher says "True love is a wonderful experience - we'll be going over some of the ways …"

Slide 3: Continued text from last slide "-that maybe, a lot of people miscategorize their feelings for people (especially 'straight' attraction) as romantic attraction?

In this scene a girl seems to be flustered by an aesthetically attractive man winking at her. But in the background you see her thoughts, which ramble on:

"Wow he is so cool! And … he's talking to me? OH MY GOD. Oh no my hair is sucha mess I hope it looks okay? At least I'm wearing my matching hair bows today … Wait do I have a CRUSH on him? I .. don't think so. But I'm also feeling butterflies right? Doesn't that mean I like him?"

Slide 4: "I've been told when I've described my squishes -"

Celia standing in the scene against a blank background. She's describing a squish to someone off panel.

"I don't really know how to describe it … like for some reason you just feel safer and happier to be around them, and you want them to be present in your life, for a long time -"

Someone off panel says "Oh, that just means you're in love" - which is noted in the bottom of the panel that this was referring to romantic love, based on an actual conversation Celia has had.

Slide 5: Celia responds to previous panel. She looks unimpressed and says "… I'm gray-aromantic. I know what a 'crush' feels like. I know that isn't it."

(another note directs reader to description for more information)

Slide 6: Shot switches back to Celia in her armchair. She says "I've heard aros who dated before they realized their identity say that they thought everyone just played along with social norms for romance"

Slide 7: "So I wonder, in a society that demonizes those who say they don't feel the same 'spark' that everyone else describes -"

A boy is drawn sitting at a desk as though in school. In the background speech bubbles paraphrasing common arophobic sentiments in the background:

"He's evil. Of course he wouldn't understand what it means to feel love."

"But like, why can't she feel the same way for him? He's perfect for her - I just don't get what's WRONG with her"

"He's so weird - did you hear how he's never been in a relationship?"

Slide 8: Shot back to Celia in her armchair. She asks the reader "How many people are actually alloromantic?"]

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ATTENTION: Aromantic mascot? The Grey-Headed Lovebird is the colors of the aromantic flag! We all have been discussing symbols, so what about a mascot, because, why the hell not? Let’s do this! Grey-Headed Lovebird as the aromantic mascot!

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100% accurate results, every time!

(Submitter’s note: please take the quiz I beg of you. gender neutral, no sex/romance questions, no timed questions, one “do you care about your star sign” question but it doesn’t list the zodiac and there’s a “no” option)

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yooo why did no one tell me about the alternate loveless aro flag

here's the original coining post by CasualChaos on the lgbta wiki

from the creator, "The green represents the lack of romantic attraction while the black represent being loveless. The knife through the heart represents the denial of love due to its association to romantic."

this looks sick! i personally find this flag to be much more aesthetically appealing than the other one -- i don't have anything against the gray one, i just like this color combo better. the heart with a knife and blood might be a bit much, and obviously would be kind of hard to reproduce for a physical flag, but hey, it definitely gets the point across lmao

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i don't want your heart between my teeth

[ID: image shows a loveless aro flag edit. In the center is a stock image of a drawn anatomically correct heart with a crow sitting on top of it. The heart is covered in blood and the crow has blood dripping from its beak. Circling the stock image is the words "i don't want your heart between my teeth." All of this is on top of the loveless aro pride flag.]

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trans men existing around trans women are not a threat to those trans women. trans men occupying space made for trans men and/or accepting of trans men are not taking space away from trans women. the concept of transmanhood is not a threat to trans women. coining a term for the specific type of transphobia trans men face is not diminishing transmisogyny. trans men expressing how manhood makes them feel euphoric is not being done to make trans women feel dysphoric.

we good? okay. stop with the rad fem shit. it's actually good & healthy & normal for trans men and women to share the same spaces &trade experiences & engage in discussion about their differences. we don't have to separate everything in life by gender. the outside world is not school. you literally don't have to separate people by gender for the rest of your life. let's move on.

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aro subtype: desires a homoerotic rivalry with someone, but feels immense disgust at the concept of "enemies to lovers"

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(Loveless) AroAllo art!

Heard we were making rabbits an AroAllo symbol, so have my contribution.

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ngl I really think we need to like. start sitting people down when they turn 14 and just let them know in a totally non-judgemental way what bisexuality is and also just add that most cis and straight people do not want to secretly have sex with or marry people of the same gender or become the opposite gender, and so don't like sit on this for 20 years thinking all men secretly want to fuck other dudes or everyone would be a woman if it were possible and the rest of us are just better at suppressing it than you are. cuz between those guys and the "Utah made me gay" guy I'm just starting to worry about this specific kind of deep closet thought process.

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i think its hilarious that i will talk about my experiences as a transintersex man and people will assume that im "obsessed" with my "afab status"

like, u literally do not know if im afab or amab because i have purposefully not disclosed that and neither of those have any bearing on the fact that society does not perceive me as male.

afab and amab are events that happened at birth and dont mean shit about what that persons body looks like.

you do not get to know if im afab or amab and i refuse to discuss my medical info with fucking randos on the internet, get lost.

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unreliable narrator but it's just an aromantic writing romance

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Normal transgender dysphoria:

Chest too big

Chest not big enough

Facial balance wrong

Muscles too prominent

Skeletal structure too dainty

Incurable secret dysphoria

Not enough eyes

No tentacles

Teeth too dull

No halo

No bioluminescence

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transandrophobia isnt real the way transmisogyny is real because thats not how intersectionality works. transmisogyny is specifically the intersection of oppression transfemmes face of transphobia and misogyny. for transandrophobia to be real, androphobia itself would have to be real. men are not an oppressed class. there is no systemic disenfranchisement men face for being men when living in a patriarchal society. transmascs absolutely face transphobia, and there are certain aspects of transphobia that may be different between transmascs and transfemmes, but that is not transandrophobia.

This is a fantastic explanation for why the term faces skepticism and I appreciate it because it's finally made the argument against it click for me

The remaining issue is, I don't have a different word to use when I specifically reference "transphobia that is distinctly directed towards trans men in ways that combine transphobia bioessentialism and mysoginy, that is similar to but also slightly different from that which is directed towards trans women" that still acknowleges that trans men are not women

IE, "You're not a man, you just hate facing oppression as a woman", "You're not trans, you just have internalized mysoginy", "You don't have to be a man to accomplish your goals, You're just pretending to be one so you don't have to face female gender discrimination", "Transitioning to male means you're eager to oppress women", "Now that you're a man you don't have to deal with mysoginy or gender-based violence", etc

I think the men's rights movement is bullshit, don't get me wrong, but walking around being an openly trans man, emphasis on trans man and not just man, seems to read to a lot of people as "female gender-traitor pervert", and I don't have the VOCABULARY for that experience

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URGENT EVICTION HELP

Hi everyone! I’m really really panicking right now. The court date for me to get evicted is on the 21st of December. I don’t have anywhere to go if I get evicted. I don’t even have a vehicle and I I would have to surrender my ESA, my cat Mittens. I’d be on the streets and it’s winter in Michigan. 

I am disabled and I have no money right now. I can barely afford food and I really need help. I don’t know what else to do and I’m scared. Please, I really need help. 

Kofi | Cshapp | Vnmo | PyPal

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the gender my parents know about and my much cooler gender my online friends know about

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Got a new haircut idk if it is good can I get some input please