#romance standards

[girltalkcollectives]

Your Love Story Doesn’t Need to Be a Fairytale

Let’s talk about love. Not the Hollywood version with perfectly timed rain kisses and dramatic airport chases. Not the TikTok version with carefully curated couple challenges and matching outfits. Let’s talk about real love — the kind that doesn’t always make for a good movie but makes for a good life.

Here’s the truth we need to stop running from: The Notebook lied to us. So did Pretty Woman, Twilight, and every other romance that made us think love needs to be extraordinary to be worthwhile.

Your love story doesn’t need a dramatic beginning. You don’t need to hate each other first. No one needs to climb a Ferris wheel or write 365 letters. You don’t need to be star-crossed, torn apart by fate, or reunited after years of pining. Sometimes, love is just two people who met on a dating app getting coffee, liked each other enough to get a second coffee, and kept choosing each other, day after day.

We’ve been sold this idea that if love isn’t painful, it’s not deep enough. If it’s not complicated, it’s not real enough. If it doesn’t hurt, it’s not strong enough.

What a load of nonsense.

Your partner doesn’t need to be the most interesting person in every room. They don’t need to have a tragic backstory or be mysteriously broken in a way that only your love can fix. They don’t need to write you poetry or plan elaborate surprises or fight their entire family to be with you.

Sometimes, real love looks like:

Someone remembering how you like your coffee

Netflix nights where you both fall asleep fifteen minutes in

Grocery shopping together on a Sunday afternoon

Taking care of each other during stomach flu

Sharing leftovers and splitting bills

Supporting each other’s small wins

Being boring together and completely okay with it

No one’s making movies about couples who spend their Saturday nights doing laundry together. You won’t see viral TikToks about partners who respect each other’s sleep schedules. Instagram isn’t interested in the couple who communicates clearly and resolves conflicts calmly.

But guess what? Those are the relationships that last.

The most beautiful love stories I know aren’t beautiful because they’re extraordinary. They’re beautiful because they’re real. Because both people show up, day after day, choosing each other even when it’s not exciting. Even when it’s not post-worthy. Even when it’s just ordinary life with an ordinary person who makes that ordinary life better.

Your relationship doesn’t need:

A dramatic “how we met” story

Constant butterflies

Grand gestures

Overwhelming passion

Life-changing moments

Picture-perfect dates

Epic declarations of love

What it needs is:

Mutual respect

Open communication

Shared values

Genuine care

Consistent effort

Trust

Growth

Peace

Stop waiting for someone to love you in a way that would make a good movie. Start appreciating someone who loves you in a way that makes a good life.

Because here’s what they don’t show in romantic movies: the real love, the kind that lasts, happens in the quiet moments. In the mundane. In everyday choices to be kind, to be present, to be understanding.

The most romantic thing isn’t someone chasing you through an airport. It’s someone making space for you in their life, consistently and without drama. It’s someone choosing to work through problems instead of creating them for the sake of passion. It’s someone who makes you feel safe instead of excited.

Your love story is valid even if no one would want to watch it in theaters.

Your relationship is real even if it wouldn’t get a million likes on social media.

Your connection matters even if it wouldn’t fill a journal with intense emotions.

So let go of the fairytale.

Let go of The Notebook.

Let go of the idea that epic means better.

Because sometimes the best love stories aren’t the ones that make your heart race — they’re the ones that make your heart feel at home.

And that’s not settling. That’s growing up.

[canonically47]

this pride remember polyamorous people are so fucking cool

[urfriendlywriter]

prompts that has me lying on a highway:

(feel free to use <3 10, 15, 20 are my favs omds. yall tag me when u writeeee I'd love to read :))

"I'm glad you were strong, love."

"i notice the little efforts you make for me.. and i just want you to know i appreciate it." whos cutting onions

SMILING during a kissss >>>>>

the gaze that softens as soon as it lands on you.

hand holding, twirling in their arms, slow dancing > <

telling a joke just to see them laugh

"love.. isn't a word enough to express what i feel for you."

"you were my bestfriend, before you were anything else, love." <333

hugging. especially if they're not much of a hugger, but they keep hugging you because you feel down. (this is my bestfriend aaah ilovehersm :( )

"tell me what you want, baby." in the deepest, nearly inaudible murmur AAAAH

when they always feed you their last bite

"give me a hug."

"i can't even act mad at you, love."

flirty BANTERS!!!!

"I'll come over there and make you shut up then." "you can try."

"i love you." "say it again."

caressing one's cheek (the one in the face.)

running into each other's arms after barely surviving

enemies but one is admitting, confessing and crying to the another after almost losing them!!!!!

collecting your injured lover,

^ "don't you dare die on me, [full fckn name]." "i won't, my love, i want to live for you... with you. for a long time." they strain but their smile after makes you cry.

"this is so wrong," "if so, then stop me, love," "you tempt me, [name]-" cue a KISSSSS "-and you drive me insane."

being curled up together on the bed, their face buried in your chest.

"i like how you did ____ today/that day."

forehead kisses. cheek kisses, knuckle kisses.

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

i love how different percabeth is from different male lead narrated american middle school romances from the romantic point of view. usually, the male lead has a crush on the cold and kind of mean female protagonist cause she's pretty and not like the other girls.....she's pretty and not like the other girls....thats it oops. but annabeth and percy. annabeth fell first. even though she's cold and sassy too, she believed in percy. she saw the good in him and loved him for it. then percy fell. he didnt have to worry about whether annabeth would like a loser like him. yeah, he doubted why annabeth liked him once in a while, but it was a never a question of 'does she?' its healthy. and thats what makes rick riordan one of the best middle school authors ever thank you bye

[future-crab]

It's been said before, it will be said again, but it's still worth saying: the fact that art centering on straight romance is allowed to just be bad, but art with queer romance in it always has to be indicative of A Serious Problem With the Way We Tell Queer Stories makes being a queer person making queer art deeply stressful

[fxnharellll]

it’s acc crazy how excited me and others were to romance Lucanis and every romance dialogue i chose w him was just brushed off???😭 why do u not want my rook lmao. why is he so ready to flirt with neve whilst my rook is standing there like: 🧍🏽‍♀️like is this a third wheeling simulator. no one wants to pay $70 for a game that talks up its romance elements only to find the companions more interested in each other/minimal reactivity lmao.

I’m happily shacked up w emmrich finally 🤞🏽but oh my god, other than the almost kiss and that really sweet line of his at the end of the game, there’s NOTHING THERE????

that is not a slow burn, there’s absolutely no content there to consume. I’m running back to da2 after this, i miss my family so bad.

none of the romances in dragon age have been particularly explicit and it is NOT about the fade to black sex scenes (although BG3 spoiled me, i will admit): it’s about the yearning, the push and pull between ur Warden, Hawke and Inquisitor and their respective romances.

Anders was absolutely insane for his ‘I would drown us both in blood’. Cullen getting flustered cos of the Inquisitor??? Fenris laughing then immediately going 😐 cos he realised Hawke made him laugh? Alistair’s sweet romance with the warden??? His rose, his famous ‘I’ll be standing over here until the blushing stops’. Solas’ romance was notorious for having 3 sprinkled scenes in between a 60+ hour game with no sex scene and to this day, it is one of the most moving romances i have encountered in any media.

I don’t know why they said this was the most romantic dragon age ever lmfao like let’s stop lying out of our asses now pls !

[the-artist-grimm]

Wow you guys really wanted the narilamb spice-so behold the doodle stash! (Again it's kinda just fluff but it is obvious what these idiots are doing lol)

Also a little spicier one under the cut~

(Crownie's already long left the temple after leaving a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door XD)

[lainalit]

You would think with the way in which Sjm fans argue against Sjm criticism by saying that they "just turn their brain off while reading her books" that she writes cute little contemporary romance books alà Ali Hazelwood and that the critics are just being pretentious when in reality she writes fantasy books in which there are always poorly done themes of oppression, mental health, DV, SA classism, racism, feminism, disabilities, lgbtq+ etc. in it

[shepherds-of-haven]

How would the ROs rate their own attractiveness? Like do they consider themselves attractive?

Huh, good question!

Blade: he is distantly aware that other people/society in general considers him to be good-looking in some capacity. (By Ket standards, he and Gladius both are considered to be blessed with markedly good looks, but almost in a 'pretty boy' kind of way. Gladius is considered like stunningly beautiful while Blade has more of 'effortlessly hot' aura). So he would say other people probably think he's "above-average" in looks (but he also believes it to be more of a muscularity/strength thing than things like his facial features. Like women, if they do find him attractive, probably think so because he looks like a strong provider LMAO). But he himself doesn't think about his own attractiveness or appearance beyond what good hygiene and proper presentation dictate... he hardly spares himself a glance in the mirror most days. As you can tell by his haircut choices

Trouble: he considers himself to be average in looks, neither particularly handsome or particularly ugly, just exactly in the middle of the road! If asked to describe his own attractiveness in more detail, he'd probably say something like, "I clean up okay. I'm a decent-looking working-class guy? *shrug* I don't think anyone would be mad if I showed up at their doorstep with a bouquet of flowers, but artists aren't swooning over my cheekbones, either"

Tallys: Tallys considers herself to be a good-looking woman, probably an 8 if we're using a scale, a 9 if she put more effort into being conventionally beautiful (doing things like growing out her hair (!), using makeup or perfume, dressing well, etc.). She's confident in her own attractiveness and doesn't find much fault with her own features or body, but she also knows that doesn't mean she's everyone's specific cup of tea, either! She just believes that, according to a general standard, she rates highly in most areas, and no one could sincerely call her ugly. It helps that she's an Elf, since most of them have a high standard of confidence when it comes to their natural beauty!

Shery: before she joined the Shepherds, she believed herself to be average or below-average, and believed herself to be "mousy": hiding behind her bangs and spectacles was not something she ever saw conventionally beautiful people doing, so she grew up thinking she was forgettable or unremarkable, though not necessarily ugly or outright unattractive. Just sort of "plain." However, since joining and noticing that there are people who seem to compliment or even crush on her, she's since come to tentatively revise that opinion and thinks she could probably be considered "cute" by some people's standards, but she still thinks that her personality makes it hard for anyone to really notice her or become completely enthralled by her... so she would say she's probably like a 6 or 7 by looks alone, which she's content with!

Riel: as like a work of art or a painting (so judging by pure aesthetics alone, devoid of other considerations), he believes he rates around an 8 just going by the symmetry of his facial features, his taste in clothes, the fact that he's well-groomed, but he's a bit self-conscious of how he rates in terms of desirability or sexual appeal, which is a different thing entirely (in his own mind). Like, you can admit a painting is beautiful, but you don't want to fuck a painting? In those terms, he believes he falls well below the standards of the masculine ideal, probably resting at a 5, though he believes he makes up for it in other areas (wealth, intellect, uniqueness, etc). It doesn't bother him that much, but it is something that he is aware of at the back of his mind!

Chase: He thinks he's pretty good-looking (🙄), but that the effect is best felt and supplemented by his in-person charisma, charm, aura, and general personality. This is an extremely topical/dated example, but it's sort of like how a lot of people were largely indifferent to Glen Powell going strictly by looks alone, but then they saw him acting in Twisters or Top Gun or whatever and saw his chemistry with his co-stars and were suddenly like "oh 😳" Like he needs to be seen in action to really feel attracted to him?? Anyway, Chase thinks that if you were to see a perfect painting of him in a gallery, he's good-looking enough alone to make you stop and admire him, so probably like an 8... but his magnetism in person brings that to a 10 LOL

Red: He "doesn't really think about it" (🙄)--he more spends time grooming and styling himself to his own standards rather than really fretting over what other people would perceive or rate him as, but if you really pressed up, I think he'd say he's an 8 on a good day, potentially a 9 if he were to try very hard, but he'd sort of vaguely look around at everyone else to confirm if this was an arrogant thing for him to say lol, so he's definitely not totally sure about it! There aren't too many things he finds fault with when it comes to his physical appearance or body--he's generally satisfied and content in that department--but he also would never argue he's some great show-stopping beauty or gorgeous model: he just quietly lives with the idea that most people think he's a naturally pretty handsome guy!

Ayla: this is sad, but she probably rates herself a 3, maybe a 4 on a good day. 😕 Ayla thought she dispensed with thinking about her own appearance or attractiveness long ago, having accepted the fact that most people perceived her as this ragged, scrappy loner who mostly lived on the road and was lucky if she could find a stream to wash her hair in. She never possessed a mirror and, the rare times she stayed in a room that had one, she used it to check herself over for hidden injuries or things on her back and then went on her way... and none of this really mattered to her because she spent so much of her time alone. No one was really looking at her, she wasn't looking at herself, so who cared if she looked like a half-drowned rat with her hair growing into her eyes while she shook sand out of her clothes? Since joining the Shepherds, however, her private consciousness of her appearance has naturally increased, and sometimes she can feel quite down about it (especially when faced with the elegant grace of Tallys, the feminine cuteness of Shery, or the show-stopping beauty of Lavinet). Part of being in a group that she avoided was the vulnerability of natural comparison: no one's comparing you to anyone if you stand alone, but with the Shepherds, of course that's going to happen, even if only in her own mind... Anyway, this is a lot to say that she considers herself to be below-average in attractiveness, but is filled with a sullen self-loathing and pride when she considers doing anything to try to change that fact, so she just... resigns herself to feeling that way forever, if that makes any sense!

Briony: she thinks she's cute and can edge over into pretty when she tries really hard, so she'd probably say she hovers between a 6 and a 7 on an average day? While she thinks she has advantages like her striking hair color and eyes, she has areas that she privately feels a bit insecure about: she feels her face is too round, her nose is too short, feels like she's a bit short and compact and boyish in body when she's rather be tall and leggy like Tallys or buxom and curvaceous like Lavinet, etc. etc. It's not something that really bothers her--she figures that everybody feels that way about themselves--so she's happy with being "above-average" on most days. It's only when she's crushing on somebody and isn't sure of how they perceive her that she gets really unsure and self-conscious about it, and then she really obviously throws herself into styling herself to appear more feminine!

Lavinet: don't hate her, but she definitely thinks she's a 10 LOL. This is partly due to the fact that, by Blest beauty standards, she pretty much is a paragon of desirability, and everyone in her life has treated her as if she were a 10 or even outright said so... so there's really no reason for her to think otherwise! There are always small things she would tweak if she gave any thought to it, but in general she's been very happy with her appearance and how she's been able to use it as a tool to accomplish her goals in life!

Halek: he is well aware that he's gorgeous... he wouldn't say this out loud because he knows he'd get endlessly ragged on, but he'd probably say he's a 10 LMAO, maybe 9 so as to give the appearance of some humility... It's not even something he's arrogant about, he's just like aware of general beauty standards and is like 'yeah by no choice of my own and by complete accident of birth, i happen to fit these really well? *shrug*" It's nbd... and it's part of where his bde comes from, I'm sure

[drrav3nb]

SUMMERTIME (1955) (dir. David Lean)

I was thinking of the first evening I came here. First time I saw you, you were wearing that yellow tie. I don't want to forget any of it. Not a single moment. I don't think I ever shall.

[mossattack]

emmrich we can so make it happen.

for context: he brings a skull of a deceased person to their wife's coffin so that they can reunite in death and stay together forever, never to be parted again <3

[notasapleasure]

If a character of mine, comparing two medieval ideas, produces a third, more modern, idea, he is doing exactly what culture did; and if nobody has ever written what he says, someone, however confusedly, should surely have begun to think it (perhaps without saying it, blocked by countless fears and by shame).

Umberto Eco, The Historical Novel, from his Postscript to The Name of the Rose, trans. by William Weaver

[calypsolemon]

as much as verbal boyfriend confirmation would be nice for geo/cole, i genuinely don't actually think it's necessary for the relationship to count as "canon" considering the standards for how most hetero relationships are portrayed in ninjago is as equally devoid of verbal confirmation or even like. consistent physical affection, with the exception of jaya. Like, pixane is barely more cuddly than most friends, and Kai canonically dropped the ball with Skylor by forgetting to call her for years. Quite frankly with the amount of physical affection present, calling each other family, and underlying romantic coding Geo and Cole have, I'd consider it the third most prominent romance in the series and I mean that pretty seriously.

[hellfire-fist]

There's something so inherently romantic about Zoro following Luffy right after their discussion with Nojiko. Although he wasn't so keen the first time around (the Garp thing), this time, he makes sure to go after his captain immediately.

Zoro right after the "I need you" and him making a vow to Luffy, is almost a completely different person. He accompanies Luffy during a vulnerable moment like reflex, like it's the most natural thing for him to do. It's adorable that he went to sit with Luffy and then attempted to leave, because I feel like he surprised himself as well. That said, I love love love that Luffy shows vulnerability with his swordsman the most. He knew he could confide in Zoro, and that he would understand him, but also won't be afraid to give him a piece of his mind. I just know he feels secure with Zoro.

[thessaralka]

i can’t deal w people who say solas isn’t hot like u do not see the vision at all he’s so handsome and sexy i have to grab my smelling salts every time i see him or i faint

[screechingcheesecakecheesecake]

JackLeela you have to stop. Your love too true. Your yearning too different. Your romance too fated. They'll kill you