#the show really just veers away from romance most of the time?

[calypsolemon]

as much as verbal boyfriend confirmation would be nice for geo/cole, i genuinely don't actually think it's necessary for the relationship to count as "canon" considering the standards for how most hetero relationships are portrayed in ninjago is as equally devoid of verbal confirmation or even like. consistent physical affection, with the exception of jaya. Like, pixane is barely more cuddly than most friends, and Kai canonically dropped the ball with Skylor by forgetting to call her for years. Quite frankly with the amount of physical affection present, calling each other family, and underlying romantic coding Geo and Cole have, I'd consider it the third most prominent romance in the series and I mean that pretty seriously.

[herefortayloronly]

Since the very beginning, I said it was a mistake to make Colin a "rake" because that's not his character and it's a complete misunderstanding of his character.

Colin is never meant to be the sexy flirty ladies man. He's a little awkward, silly and mild-mannered, if you can recall that's what he was like in season 1 and 2. He's a soft cinnamon roll but we never got to see him be a soft cinnamon roll. People tried to convince others who criticize this choice by saying it was done on purpose, you are supposed to get "the ick", you are suppose to not like Colin's new personality because it's fake!! That people lack media literacy!!! The point is to show that he's pressured to be a rake because society pressures men to be a MAN™ and Colin will eventually learn that he doesn't have to conform to society dont worry!!! It's a commentary on toxic masculinity!!!!!!!!!!

I disagree lol

Actually the thing is I usually would agree with this except there are many glaring errors and inconsistency that suggest that's not what the writers went for. That's not the message and theme they were going for. They definitely did not intend to make Colin's rakish behaviors cringe and icky. They seriously wanted him to come off like he's this suave hot playboy. They wanted us to believe he is a catch and that he is hot and sexy.

1) No one in the Bridgerton world found him cringey.

Now people are gonna say the writers are going for a dramatic irony where we, the audience, are meant to find it cringe but the characters don't. But when has Bridgerton done any sorts of irony ever?? It's not that kind of show and it's not that kind of story. We are meant to find him sexy and hot because the characters, the young debutantes of the ton, find him sexy. What is the purpose of having the people in-world find him sexy if not to signal to us that we are suppose to find him sexy too? Why would a romance show want their predominantly female fanbase to find the male lead unsexy and cringe? When in the history of good rom-coms have you gotten "the ick" from our lead hero?

2) If he was faking being a rake then why do we never see him be..... himself?? LOL

Let's say he was faking it. If he was putting up an act then why do we never see him break from that act? The way he was behaving at that brothel with those prostitutes is exactly the same way he behaved with his friends and family. No difference!

This is probably the most glaring issue with the writing because they spent way too much time dealing with the LW situation and all the subplots that they forgot to really lay the groundwork for Colin. If they truly had the intent to show us that he is just faking being a rake then we should see him when he's not faking it. We need to see him when he's just being himself. We need to see him when he has his guard down but for all 8 episodes I never see that. The only time he really let his guard down was to admit he was jealous of Penelope's writing but that doesn't explain why he started having threesomes. What about his insecurities for his writing all of a sudden made him horny? We just didn't get to spend enough time with Colin to really understand him. Sure we can infer and read between the lines but we're veering into fanfic territory for me. We shouldn't have to headcanon who Colin is because the writers are too lazy to flesh him out. I don't need to be spoonfed but I was definitely not fed at all lol.

I don't want this post to be too long but I'm just gonna add this. Even the Luke Newton was surprised people found Colin icky!!! And he knew it was a wrong choice for the character but the director and writers have other interpretations clearly.

Now how could they had done Colin differently? Of course I can't make a critical post without actually giving some constructive criticism. First, if they really did mean to make him cringe and icky then we need to see him get rejected. We need to see the ladies turn him away because he is so bad at flirting that they can't take him serious. We need to understand clearly that the people of the Bridgerton world also find him cringe and weird. I personally would love to see him fumbled during sex with the prostitutes. It would be funny to see him try to force himself to make the act work and realize he is completely out of his depth. If he's faking it then we need some scenes where we see his real personality. It would be nice to see scenes where he's flirting and hamming it up at balls and then later at night he goes home alone and work on his writing.

Second, his character would improve so much if we see him have some sort of direction. We know he writes. I kinda hate that they made his love for travel into him having sex across the continent of Europe. Would be great to see Colin's love for writing be about his fascination for linguistics and literature and that's why he travels because he wants to learn about other languages and culture. He could've come back from traveling with a new found love for knowledge and learning instead he came back as a manwhore.

Finally, I said I rewatched Emma (2020) the other day and I had an epiphany. I realized that Colin has "Jane austen's male lead" energy. Now I'm not saying Julia Quinn/Brigderton and Jane Austen are even remotely comparable. They are not even in the same stratosphere. However, Colin has that sweet, mild-mannered, calm and subtle humor personality that a lot of Jane Austen's male leads have, at least the Colin in season 1 and 2 did. They could've played into this in season 3. I need to see Colin chasing after Penelope the same way Mr Knightley chased after Emma all the way to her house after dancing with her. I need to see Colin be all disheveled and distraught when he realizes he's in love with Penelope. I can't believe there is a scene right before the fingerbanging scene where Colin does chase after Penelope's carriage but we don't actually see it happen. We don't actually see him running. Like that's actually a great moment to see Colin fully realize his love for Penelope. Mr Knightley getting all flustered running after Emma's carriage and then missing his chance to tell her he loves her is hotter than Polin's fingerbanging scene! In fact now that I'm writing this there is a lot of what Emma (2020) did with Mr Knightley that the writers of Bridgerton could've done similarly for Colin that would've helped his character a lot more especially with the LW situation. But that's another post I think!

Ultimately, the writing failed Colin. This has nothing to do with the lack of media literacy or people not finding Luke Newton attractive and hot. It's just the writing did Colin and Luke a huge disservice.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk!

I was gonna include some quotes from some of my favorite reviews of the season about Colin but I just really wanted to put it all in my own words but here are the videos that made me finally put my issue with Colin into words. Video 1. Video 2. Video 3.

[incensuous]

apo//thecary diaries spoilers/rant

i just finished vol5 of the light novel and im bursting at the seams, dont mind me im just rambling to myself

i LOVE jinshi and maomao, i ADORE them to bits and pieces, both of them have deeply endeared me.

however, i'm seriously questioning a handful of noncon moments where jinshi is more or less "gently" forcing himself onto maomao. who clearly and abundantly shows her disinterest, often physically and verbally. and usually i'm whatever about noncon in fics and can enjoy it, but to see the really bizarre noncon in this series that isnt... really... about that? it feels so strange.

the romance is veering into territory i am disappointed by because it does feel a bit cliche and has the classic whiff of "kinda rapey male lead noncons his way onto female lead, sexy!" which... part of me understands since maomao is SO obstinately ignorant (willingly so, typically)

it starts from when jinshi pins maomao down in a cave, when they're alone, in a very sexual way. they are interrupted by being rescued, and he is frustrated she tries to play dumb about him not being a eunuch, considering he was trying to tell her his real identity.

he seems to apologize for it, offering her an extremely rare medicinal ingredient which she is over the moon for and promptly ignores whatever the hell he's trying to say lol

2. as they are concluding an INSANE non-romance plot arc, the two of them are resting (amongst a bunch of seemingly dead children), he attempts to corner her and kiss her. they're conveniently interrupted when the children RESURRECT LOL she's trying to warm up the UNDEAD children and he's all *bedroom eyes* "can we continue this later?" time and place, jinshi!!!

3. in a different moment, he, i'm not kidding, BITES her. he just bites her goddamn neck. she smacks him across the shoulder. then he falls asleep in her lap which is cute but ... HELLO??? JINSHI????? WHY THE BITE???? i think that is singlehandedly tHE most out of pocket thing he's fucking done yet. it's also just so smutty the way it's described, there's a string of saliva as he pulls back from her neck????? am i on ao3 by accident?!

4. there's PLENTY of very very cute iconic moments too, don't get me wrong, it makes me squeal like crazy. but vol5 ends with jinshi finding maomao outside of the party (classic), and then gets frustrated with her suggesting he marry a "safe choice". then he cHOKES her. HE STRAIGHT UP JUST TWISTS HER ARM AND CHOKES HER. she tells him, "it hurts" and he just says, "oh, does it?" of course, he eventually stops and then holds her until she gets mad at him. and then he is pushing her back down towards the bench, laying on top of her.

after the first instance in the cave, i kind of brushed it off like. that was weird, but i was extremely delirious over jinshi's whimpering and that totally clouded my judgment lol.

but now with all of these other scenes, i'm still in love with them but i have to admit i'm feeling a little conflicted. maomao's pov is always that he looks at her with eyes like a "feral dog", and that she is trying to get away. it kind of breaks my heart. she says "He will devour her, all in the pursuit for something that wasn't even there." like, YES i am thirsty for jinshi so the idea of him having bedroom eyes is hot, but the way maomao is so uncomfortable with it genuinely upsets me...

[x5red]

More Super Klenk details come to light

Does Super Klenk still exist? Did Super Klenk ever exist? The tv show is so famously obscure that one could be forgiven for believing it was just a hoax. Running for 13 episodes at the turn of the millenium, Super Klenk followed the antics of a school teacher who has a secret life as a superhero. Broadcast on primetime Sunday evenings on GMA-7, each episode lasted 90 minutes, blending action, romance, and comedy. For a primetime show running on a major network there's precious little evidence online of it ever having existed. Only one very brief video clip is available, taken from a station promo, plus a tiny number of low resolution promotional photos.

It is, very likely, one of the most obscure and undocumented superhero tv shows ever. The series appeared to have not been reshown since its original broadcast, and for all anyone knows the master tapes may have been junked. But that doesn't mean that with a bit of digital sleuthing we cannot unearth some interesting details about the series. For example, a while back a study of television listings in newspapers revealed the original broadcast details, and the tantalising possibility that there may have been far more than just 13 episodes.

In this post we outline further sources of contemporaneous information.

The Manila Bulletin

We start with a low resolution scan of an article from the Manila Bulletin (see above.) The article is conveniently written in English, yet parts of the text are hard to decipher given the low quality of the image. The following is a transcript as best can be made out. Note: passages marked in colour denote text that is unclear or missing from the image.

[START]

Tired of your usual Sunday night viewing habits? Then look up in the sky. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? It's Super Klenk to the rescue!

Although you won't really see Super Klenk in the sky once you channel surf to GMA-7 tonight at 8 p.m., their newest situational comedy entitled "Super Klenk" premieres.

Produced by Philippine-broadcasting leader GMA Network Inc., the comical super series "Super Klenk" stars sexy Ara Mina, who plays a dual role. As a normal human being she is a grade school teacher and volunteer rescuer Charito for Rescue 711, while she turns into the high flying but still fumbling heroine whenever she's needed to save people in distress.

In her new role as a super heroine, silver screen goddess Ara Mina defies the stigma of a "TF" [titillating films] actress. According to her, she doesn't care if people including the press would criticize her the way they did when she took on a singing career. What is important to her is that she remains focused on entertaining the children who will watch her show. She also emphasized that her decision to do children's show is not an indication that she will veer away from doing sexy roles. Her latest film that is slated for a January, 2000 release entitled "Laro sa Baga" will still feature her in some steamy love scenes.

According to its director Mac Alejandre, the unusual title of the sit-com was spawned after its head writer Isko Salvador, aka Brod Pete, who also plays Doctor Cortal in the TV series, took a break from their brainstorming. The creative team formed solely for this show were thinking of the show's title at Amigos Restaraunt when Isko came back with the "Super Klenk" apparently is also the middle name of Ara Mina (it is pronounced in Germany the same way as the word clench is pronounced.)

"Super Klenk" is also unusual in its length. It is a one and a half-hour sit-com, which is not the norm for television. Director Mac has no reason for this except that it was the time given them by GMA 7's programming department. He find this challenging since he knows that he has to keep this one and a half-hour show interesting all the way.

"It is really hard to do a sit-com that's one and a half hour that's why we have to make this as interesting as possible visually, acting wise and gag wise. The truth is the pilot episode was done in more than two days because we have a big cast and it was really hard doing the special effect," Explains Director Mac.

Insiders from the show said that the "Super Klenk's" special effects budget was really financially stressful but GMA-7 shelled out just the project's success. The special effects have also been at the helm of two creative [unreadable] behind "Super Klenk" five days to decide on which special effects to develop and utilize.

"Super Klenk" was developed with children's Sunday night viewing bits in mind according to GMA's VP for Programming Wilma Galvante. [Unreadable] is a wholesome entertainment but with Ara Mina as the star. "The show [unreadable] promises young televiewers bit only fantastic special effects but also moral lessons that are interjected in every episode.

The launching of "Super Klenk" is in line with the new shows GMA 7 has [unreadable] for its viewing public for the year 2000. The culmination of all their [unreadable] released and offered this year is "Millenium Broadcast."

So how does Ara Mina become Super Klenk?

The unassuming Charito lives an ordinary life as a teacher who has to contend with mischievous students like copycat Xerox and the narcoleptic [unreadable]. As a rescue volunteer, she works with an obnoxious publicity hungry [unreadable: police?] chief, Hope Pimentel.

Her daily routine suddenly shifts to a new gear one day in some dark [unreadable: alley?] when she sees an old lady whom she thought was waylaid by street thugs. Charito tries to revive the seemingly old ago-go dancer, Tondang Xorax (Flora Gasser), who [unreadable] against the wall during a chase with her archenemy Oblada (Sandra Gomez.) Charito's attempt to breathe life back into [unreadable] Xorax proves futile but he superpowers of the aging heroine is accidentally transferred to the young volunteer rescuer. Tondang Xorax [unreadable: magically?] fades into a celestial star right before the unbelieving eyes of the [unreadable: unsuspecting?] Charito. Soon Tondang Xorax visits Charito to inform her the [unreadable: henceforth?], she will be known as Super Klenk.

Also starring Pilita Corrales, Isko Salvador, Paolo Fabregas and James Fabregas.

[END]

Philippine Headline News Online

This next piece was posted to the Philippine Headline News Online mailing list on 11th December 1999, and seems to be a standard press release announcing the upcoming show. Translations of the non-English parts, courtesy of Google, are presented in colour.

[START]

WHOLESOME ROLE FOR ARA MINA IN GMA-7 SERIES

Quezon City, Dec.11, 1999 - GMA-7 is changing the image of bold star Ara Mina via a wholesome role in the network’s newest fantasy-action comedy series entitled Super Klenk!

“Tamang-tama nga dahil ngayong naghihigpit sa bold, heto’t nabigyan naman ako ng chance to do this kind of wholesome show na puwede sa bata and for the whole family,” Ara says. ["It's right because now that the bold is being restricted, I was given the chance to do this kind of wholesome show that can be done by children and for the whole family."]

Ara plays Charito, a dedicated grade school teacher and rescue worker. One night, she witnesses the original Super Klenk meet an serious accident. While trying to give the accident victim some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, Ara received the special powers of Super Klenk, played by Flora Gasser.

“I become the new Super Klenk, a crimebuster who is the mortal enemy of the main villain in the show, si Oblada, played by Sandra Gomez,” Ara adds. “I enjoy doing this show because para akong si Wonder Woman and I get to do a lot of action scenes while fighting criminals. Nakakalipad din ako rito at ginastusan nila ang special effects sa flying scenes to make it look really convincing on screen.” [I enjoy doing this show because I'm like Wonder Woman and I get to do a lot of action scenes while fighting criminals. I was also able to fly here and they paid for the special effects in the flying scenes to make it look really convincing on screen.]

Playing the love interests of Ara in the show are newcomer Paolo Fabregas (son of actor-musical director Jaime Fabregas) and Isko Salvador (more popularly known as Brod Pete of Ang Dating Doon.)

This does not mean, though, that Ara is turning her back on sexy movies. As a matter of fact, she has just finished Laro sa Baga.

[END]

Philstar Global

The third piece was published on 18th March 2000 on Philstar Global, marking the premature cancellation of the show. Again, translations in colour.

[START]

Ara: Win Some, Lose Some

The sad news is true, after all. Yes, Ara Mina's Super Klenk will have its final telecast (GMA 7) this Sunday. After that, her flying character will be grounded (never to fly again?).

But the good news is that Ara will topbill a new GMA sitcom, untitled just yet, which starts telecast very soon.

"Super Klenk was very hard to shoot because palagi kaming outdoors," [Super Klenk was very hard to shoot because we were always outdoors] said Ara when Funfare talked to her on the set of FPJ Productions' Ayos Na Ang Kasunod (to be released by Millennium Cinema), her first team-up with FPJ. "Our minimum shooting time was two days. I wore a tight costume which could sometimes be very uncomfortable. I'm looking forward to doing the new sitcom which is light and easier to do. Like Super Klenk, pambata din 'yung bago kong sitcom." [Like Super Klenk, my new sitcom is also for children.]

Ara is leaving for Las Vegas third week of April to perform in a concert with Martin and Bert Nievera.

[END]

Cast and crew

Finally, through various sources (the IMDB, actor's profiles, etc.) we are able to pull together a list of the main actors and their characters, as well as some of the key production crew.

Ara Mina as Charito and her alter ego Super Klenk.

Isko Salvador (aka Brod Pete) as Doctor Cortal, the love interest, and also one of the show's writers.

Paolo Fabregas as another doctor and possible love interest.

Flora Gasser as Tondang Xorax, the superhero whose powers are accidentally transferred to the Charito.

Sandra Gomez as Oblada, the show's main villain.

Pilita Corrales as Aunt Baby, the relative Charito lives with.

James (Jaime) Fabregas as Hepe Pimente, the police commissioner and Charito's boss at the rescue team (also the real life father of actor Paolo Fabregas.)

Dingdong Dantes, possible guest actor.

Mark Anthony Fernandez, possible guest actor.

Elizabeth Ramsey as Tiya Kirara, guest actor.

Roxanne Barcelo, possible guest actor.

Yoyong Martirez, possible guest actor.

Mac Alejandre, the showrunner and director.

Wilma Valle Galvante, GMA's VP for Programming.

Conclusion

Over the last couple of years a lot of classic pinoy television has been uploaded, legitimately, to YouTube. The good news is therefore that it is possible that one day Super Klenk may be available for the public to watch once again. The bad news is that, given the obscurity of the show, it could be a very very long wait. Worse still, assuming the episodes do still exist in an archive somewhere, the chances are any uploads will be chopped up into small YouTube friendly chunks, rather than presented in their original 90 minute format. There's always the possibility that the show in its original form may be included on a streaming platform, or re-screened on a golden hits style cable channel, but so far neither of these things have happened.

And so, in the absence of any episodes to watch, the details above are currently all we know about what is possibly tv's most obscure superheroine show (unless you know more?!?) Maybe that will change in future -- here's hoping.

(A quick thank you to DrMuttonChops for tracking down a scan of the Manila Bulletin article, posted years ago on Ara Mina's social media.)

[vacantgodling]

I think I missed something when I was sleeping, what's gofficka 👀 ?

ok so basically how all of this got started is my partner was watching a youtuber review a shitty dark academia romance book, and in listening i got incensed and was like dude i can definitely write something better than that! and then, very similarly to donut wip i ended up making a wip (who’s mc i really didn’t like at first and tbh i still don’t really like len like i wouldn’t be friends with her she annoys me. but i think she grows up ok lmao i mean she has to pff) and managed to make something that kind of interests me enough to try writing.

and i also wanted an excuse to try out the snowflake method of story writing/planning cuz i saw it floating around and tbh why not? why not just do a thing lol. but anyway! haha have an actual summary. like, a real one lmao:

Lennon Rhapsody Granger (17) is sent to a private prep institute for troubled youth after she gets expelled from school for the fifth time. There, she meets and becomes romantically involved with bad boy heartthrob Aurora O’Rion (18). Aurora is a lackey of a group called The Centurion, who do not take kindly to outsiders being so close to their secrets. Aurora is ordered to kill Lennon, and nearly succeeds—but foregoes the final blow to try and save her life. He hides Lennon with his best friend Morrigan (18), who works for the same organization, and together they try to get a presumed-dead Lennon away from The Centurion before they discover that she’s still alive.

and so like aside from the summary, have a “gist of” explanation lmao

basically the things that i’m drawing from with this wip (nicknamed gofficka LMAO) is

dark academia (it’s set at a prep school, there’s the usual tropes of secret societies, bad boy love interests etc)

gothic romance (the twisted romance angle)

the YA genre (this story is very unintentionally inspired by twilight 💀)

erotica (bc why not)

however some notes on that. firstly being, in YA romance similar to twilight, the mc girl character is supposed to be a self insert for the reader and i want to start the story giving it that vibe, however about halfway through when the Big Shift happens, i’m gonna be veering down a road where 1. len very obviously has her own personality 2. she’s not really a good person (bc a lot of these mcs, BELLA ESPECIALLY, are very shite tbh but everyone regards them as some perfect angel somehow? don’t get it) and most importantly 3. she’s going to be called out on that. especially by morrigan lmao.

also, the “love triangle” (it’s really a love angle but whatever) in these stories is usually centered around the main girl and len has the same assumption too, however it’s revealed that the love angle’s central spoke is around aurora, not len. morrigan is gay, and tbh he’s my lowkey favorite pfff but aurora and len are growing on me. anyway tho he provides a shock of clarity for the narrative, imo—that wanting to love and forcing it isn’t what love is (to me). that there’s more to it than just being attracted to someone, which tbh a lot of YAs just kind of think is close enough. there’s no real chemistry and no attempt to show the complexities of actually genuinely loving someone. sO yeah.

also, the bad boy, aurora? he’s actually bad lol. he almost kills len pff and len having and dealing with ptsd surrounding that situation is also a thing. him being put into a position where most YAs would have him chose the love interest i decided to make him choose something else. because a new love isn’t going to be that strong and that’s the whole point to me??? that love alone isn’t going to solve all these crazy problems. it can contribute to fixing them and becoming strong but idk everything is more complex than that.

i have a lot of feelings about the complexities of romantic love and i hate when it’s cheap so i’m gonna make it. uhhhh not that.

but anyway the actual organization isn’t the point of this story. my brain WANTS me to make a sequel after this book just so i can explore the three of them in a pretty properly functioning polycule where there’s spokes and not full angles but we’ll have to see pffff

[i-am-kind-of-lost]

I posted 4,491 times in 2022

That's 772 more posts than 2021!

529 posts created (12%)

3,962 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@6hrshiftgril

@babbling-brook-of-books

@straightedgesavior434

@petrichornial

@hotgirlsrk

I tagged 2,954 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#fave - 477 posts

#world heritage post - 224 posts

#serotonin - 222 posts

#cat - 219 posts

#save - 80 posts

#this - 74 posts

#prev - 72 posts

#stranger things - 59 posts

#people - 55 posts

#pretty - 52 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#you just love to take up as much space as possible at your favorite gentrified coffee shop and/or the library with your spread of aesthetica

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Mfs be 8 and say stuff like, “When Hozier said this, I felt it.” Shut up. Go watch Shin-Chan

61 notes - Posted January 25, 2022

#4

I did not like the Annie and Hughie scene. Sorry. 

I get that they are trying to show Toxic Masculinity bad, but it doesn’t kind of work here. Hughie has never had a problem with Starlight being stronger than him. He has always been insecure about his abilities. Everyone in the group treats him as this useless tool, and it just reinforces that. Like last episode, when he asked MM and Butcher whether they want awkward, powerless Hughie, or supe Hughie who can take care of himself. 

That scene felt really forced. Really forced. The violence over the past three seasons has torn down his morality, and he just doesn’t think there’s any other way. And he’s right. 

What can they do about Homelander? Use diplomacy to stop him, blackmail him, take away public support, shame him out of existence? 

He doesn’t want to be one who needs to be saved every single time, who needs to be protected, the one who is a liability every time they are out on the field. He’s tired of that. I mean, yeah. If it comes down to a fight, which it most probably will, he doesn’t want to be the one hiding in a corner. 

104 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#3

Vigilante casually admitting that he didn’t mind Peacemaker bullying him because he doesn’t feel emotions.

104 notes - Posted January 28, 2022

#2

Okay genuinely asking

What srk 2000s movie is the best?

Like i was just listening to tumhe jo maine dekha and i realised that i don't even know what that movie is from and like everyone has seen them

so from which should I start?

~cupcake

Tumhe Jo Maine Dekha is from Main Hoon Na. How do you not know that? Jail. Jail.

Okay, so SRK from 2000 to 2010 is pretty much flawless era, except some movies which I don't remember. They are probably shit if I don't remember them.

Every single of these. And I mean, every single of them has a mind-blowing good album. Guaranteed two-three songs in each, which you will love for as long as you will live.

Main Hoon Na (2004) is quintessential Bollywood movie. It is the most bollywood movie to ever movie. You know. And somehow it still works, till this day. Soundtrack is first love vibes.

Om Shanti Om (2007), is another one of the same mould. Made by the same director, Farah Khan. Silly as fuck. Soundtrack is god-tier good.

Chak De India (2007) has probably SRK's greatest performance, along with Swades and My Name is Khan (onto them, later). You have probably seen this. I mean of course you have. The emotions this movie makes you feel, and the fact that it actually juggles multiple characters, and just ugh. I love this movie so much.

Kal Ho Na Ho (2003). That's it. Just watch it, if you haven't.

Veer-Zaara (2004). SRK had a very good 2004 btw. He was nominated for Best Actors for 3 different movies. Veer-Zaara is probably one of the best pure Romance movies, made in this country. Rani Mukherjee is so good. Fun fact, the soundtrack of this movie, uses compositions made by Madan Mohan, who had died in 1975. 30 years after his death.

Mohabbatein (2000). This movie is one of the major reasons I want to become a professor in a college in a hill station. Oddly similar to Dead Poets Society. Just like Koi Mil Gaya is very similar to ET.

Swades (2004). The least bollywood movie among the lot. His performance is iconic as hell. I love the pace of this movie so much. And I really love the romance-plot as well, because it doesn't feel overdone, or rushed.

My Name is Khan (2010). You have probably seen this already. It's a little overdramatic in the end. It's Karan Johar, what do you expect. But his performance is so good. So good. Features the greatest proposal scene in the history of cinema. The scene where he meets Jimmy Shergill after the latter's wife is attacked, will never not make me cry. Same goes for the scene, where he reunites with Mandira.

K3G (2001). YEAH.

Dil To Pagal Hai (1997). Everyone remembers the soundtrack of this movie. As they should, because it's fucking amazing. But the movie is so much more than the soundtrack. It's so good. Akshay Kumar is in it, as well.

ALSO.

How I remember these movies, has a lot to do with nostalgia. A LOT. If you have never seen them in your life, and you are watching them for the first time now, you are not going to enjoy yourself as much as I do. Some of them are problematic as fuck. Looking at you Mohabbatein. Move on you fucking weirdo, you are hallucinating your dead girlfriend of 10 years. These movies were a huge part of my childhood, so yeah, I remember them very fondly.

112 notes - Posted April 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You know, ignore the quality of the movies and shows, and the oppressive practices that are used by making them, but aren’t MCU fans nauseated by the number of movies and shows. 

Every single month, there is a movie or show that is coming out. Every single month. How do you like, feel any excitement, or like just ugh. Aren’t you bored and tired.

138 notes - Posted June 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[im-no-jedi]

I wasn't gonna add to this post cause I am FAR from new here, but I've seen some older folks share their info, so I've decided to join in✨

(this got long so I'm putting it under a cut, you're welcome 😝)

hello! 👋🏻 I'm Hannah, a mid 30s woman with a massive love for everything Star Wars! I also enjoy a plethora of other nerdy things, including video games (mostly Nintendo), dungeons and dragons (huuuuuge Critical Role fan!!), other Disney franchises (including Marvel), and various cartoons (AtLA, Gravity Falls, TMNT, Transformers, just to name a few!). I'm the oldest of four, with my younger siblings being @jam-n-ham, @knight-tyme, and my social media averse brother LOL. I was diagnosed last year with autism, ADHD, anxiety, and depression, and it's been a very uplifting journey of recovery since then (am currently on Zoloft for the anxiety/depression, and it's been VERY helpful 💙). I'm very artistic and like writing, drawing, and making graphics. I also occasionally make gifs when the urge strikes; several of you have used them in various posts (you may have even seen some of my meme gifs during the TCW era LOL).

my passion project right now is a long-spanning self-insert series of stories set in the TBB show called "My Life With The Bad Batch". it stars, well, me, getting whisked away from my mundane life by our favorite group of defective clones and creating a new life for myself with them. there's romance, humor, drama, domestic fluff, and loooooots of hurt/comfort hehe. it's mostly canon compliant for now, but I feel like I might start veering away from canon come season 3 😅. I started writing the first story back at the end of 2021 and finished it midway into 2022; it was my first time ever finishing a long fanfic like that, and I'm very proud of it! the series now spans across 11 different stories and oneshots, with the twelfth currently in progress, and consists of nearly 270,000 words!! I've even made artwork for it! I haven't touched it since last spring, but I plan on picking it up again now that the hype for season 3 is at peak!! \o/

I've been a SW fan for most of my life, with the franchise in general being part of my entire life due to my parents being og fans (my mom was hype for ANH before it even came out!!). The Phantom Menace was my official intro to the franchise, so I have a huuuuuge affinity for the prequel era. TCW is one of my favorite shows of all time, and I adored the TBB episodes (even the unfinished version LOL). I admittedly was skeptical about an entire show about them, but I quickly fell in love all over again from the very first episode. the biggest surprise for me was Omega, as I wasn't sure if I'd like her or not from the trailers. she has now become not just one of my favorite SW characters, but one of my favorite characters period. the relationship between her and the boys is the best thing ever, especially between her and Hunter. speaking of which, despite Hunter being my favorite of the group from the very beginning, I didn't like, fall in love until the TBB show. and when I say fall in love, I MEAN IT. I haven't felt this way about a character in a LONG time. I would dare say he's at the top of my fictional Husband list, easily 🥰

I love TBB because they remind me of my own family. I'm Hunter, @jam-n-ham is Echo, my mom is Wrecker, my dad is Tech, my brother is Crosshair, and @knight-tyme is Omega. we've gone through similar struggles as a family to TBB (even going so far as my brother and I having a rough relationship for several years before reconciling), so that's why I'm really rooting for them to have a happy ending. it's been a LONG road to recovery for my own family, so seeing a similar result for my comfort characters would be the best thing ever. also, this show has helped me come to grips with my own personal struggles, particularly my mental problems. it was because of Tech and Omega's moment in The Crossing that made me finally decide to get an official diagnosis, so I'll forever be grateful for that. my life has literally changed because of this show and these characters; I can't say that about any other piece of media, honestly.

so yeah. if you're like me and can relate to the characters, then just know you're not alone 💙💙💙

If I have to take the title of Most Inconsistent Imagery/Crappiest Graphic Designer on Tumblr, so be it. 😂 But there are so many new peeps I'm seeing on here, and I'd love to hear from you! So if you're interested, would you be so kind as to reblog this with some fun stuff?

What you love about The Bad Batch?

If you're an artist, writer, creator, reader, etc?

What you love engaging with on Tumblr?

Any other fun facts about yourself that might create connections with others here?

💙

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[quirrrky]

『MASTERLIST』 « PREV ⁃ NXT »

𖧵 1k+ words 𖧵 Your childhood best friend, Keiji is the editor of your romance novel; is it too late for him to figure things out? 𖧵 oblivious/mutual pining, friends to lovers? unrequited love?

“Akaashi-san, what do you think about it?”

“Huh?” Keiji’s mind wandered as his co-worker told him about her most recent project.

“I mean the approach of the current manga I’m working with.”

“Oh, I…” He pushed his glasses up his nose. Nope, he wasn’t listening. “I guess it’s great.”

She giggled and smiled primly. “Thank you, if you say it’s great then I believe that it is. After all, it’s you Akaashi-san. You’re- I- I really admire you a lot.” A blush crept across her face. “Oh, excuse me. My shoelace.” She bent down and tended to her shoes.

Keiji fixed the sling of his messenger bag on his shoulder and watched. He watched as her fingers worked on the lace and he was then reminded of you. How he never let you tie your own shoes because he’d rather do it himself. It’s like he had a sixth sense that he had only for you. Whenever you needed him, he’s right there ready to come and heed your call.

“I’m sorry, Akaashi-san.” His co-worker called out as she stood up straight, cutting him from his contemplation.

“Oh- Uh, yeah…”

It’s a stroke of luck when the cafe they were supposed to have a meeting in was already fully occupied. Now, they had to settle at your favorite place. The aromatic scent of coffee welcomed him and the thought of you automatically sprang to his mind. It had been days since you’d last talked to each other. He messaged you multiple times but you said you were busy. He didn’t want to come off as intruding so he gave you space. Space which he’d never thought he’d find very cold and distant.

“I’ll get us drinks.” His co-worker volunteered as Keiji put his bag down on the table.

“Sure,” he sat down. Looking outside, it began raining just like that last time you had last seen each other.

“Here,” she placed own two cups on the table and took her seat. “I didn’t know what you like so I just got you a latte.”

“That’s fine, that’s fine.” He got his cup near his lips. He noticed that she was about to sip her drink and he accidentally asked. “You forgot to add cinnamon?” She tilted her in question.

“Cinnamon?”

He pinched his brows and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I forgot. It was someone else.”

It was you. He remembered how you would complain to him at time she forgot to add cinnamon to your coffee.

“Hmm…Akaashi-san

“Yeah, it’s fine. It’s good. That manga our chief has asked me to help you with, what’s it about?” He asked and took a sip of his coffee as he leaned in on his seat.

Keiji tried to listen, initially, trying to keep his mind busy with work, but even that didn’t seem to be effective. He’s supposed to be jotting down important notes, but his brain was completely elsewhere. Last night was even worse. Did he get a sleep? Of course...not. He turned and twisted all night. His mind was going around in scribbles.

Trying to veer himself from thought of you during a meeting, his eyes lazily wandered to her and noticed that she had a coffee stain right across her lips. He fetched a table napkin and handed it to her. “You have a stain.”

She immediately took it from his hand and he watched as she wiped it away. He recalled reaching out for you from across the table just to wipe the stain yet he didn’t feel the same compulsion for anyone else. Was it just pure coincidence? Does telepathy every exist? He asked himself this sort of questions but somehow, he had this better knowing, that it’s not telepathy nor crazy coincidence, it’s him. He wanted to be the one by your side.

“I-I’m sorry. Thank you for pointing that out.” She said, but Keiji was still so lost in thoughts.

Flustered, she lit up a little at his focused gaze. She smiled sweetly to him. The kind of smile that could surround anyone with warm white light; a smile that would make it seem like the world just stopped.

Keiji felt it all and his eyes showed longing. His lips painted the same smile on his face like he had finally seen the light at the end of the tunnel. He never thought that he’d finally wake up and everything would finally come to him and everything has new meaning.

In his sight, it was you all along, the one always smiling back at him.

And it felt all too wrong to be seated here spending time with another woman in your favorite place.

“I’m sorry.” Without any second thoughts, Keiji stood up.

“Akaashi-san?” She called out to him but he didn’t listen.

He ran towards the direction of your university, hoping that he could still catch up to you. Looking at his watch, the rain drops fogged the time, but he didn’t care anymore. All he knew was he wanted to get to you as soon as possible. All this time, how dumb of him. He’d never thought that he’d wake up to the thought of loving you.

They've been best friends for a very long time...if he truly loves her, he must've known all along.

He must’ve hurt you when he said it was a stupid thought, but now the same stupid thought was everything running in his mind over and over as fast as he ran to you.

The things he thought only existed in fiction...in your fiction, were actually his reality all along. He wanted to be the one who wipes away your tears. You were the one whom he always called first whenever he had problems. All this time, he’s doing everything so you would remain in his life. How come he hadn’t correlate all this things much earlier?

The traffic light stopped him from his tracks and he saw the classmate whom you always told was bothering you from across the street. Perhaps, he wasn’t too late. He instantly smiled as soon as he saw you emerged. He was about cross the street, but stopped when he saw your classmate wrapped an arm around you close under his umbrella.

She deserves someone better. Someone who wouldn't take her feelings for granted and someone...who wouldn't overlook her.

Droplets of rain dripped from the tip of his fingers and so were from the strands of his hair. His own words thrown at him like daggers of ice. Keiji stood frozen.

A/N: I hope you will forgive me in this chapter 🙏 TAGLIST: drop this emoji 🍁 on my ask box to be added

🍁 @bethbat @moon-mars-ikemen @tessabrown101 @bakaashit @sweet-lovely-bambam @vicolangelo @god-has-forsaken-me @avis-writeshq @putmeinyourdeathnote @queenelleee @books-music-fangirl @kozuken-ma @shimmerains @tinyegg 

REBLOGS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED ♡ Please help me reach other viewers. Thank you so so much!

© quirrrky 2021 - All rights reserved. No work shall be reproduced, reposted, modified, translated in any form or by any means. ✧ DAYDREAM MUSEUM ✧

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 22: Meet Cute

Trick Or Oh No, Please Don't Cry | @deansmultitudes

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,360 Main Tags/Warnings: Modern AU, Dad!Castiel, Halloween, Fluff Summary: Dean expected the Halloween night, spent on giving out candy, to be rather uneventful. And it was, at least, until the tiny disaster happened.

Losing A Few Teeth | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 1,481 Main Tags/Warnings: dentist office, high on nitrous oxide Dean, drunken marriage proposal, first meetings Summary: Dean probably should’ve had his wisdom teeth removed ages ago, but he's never been fond of doctors of any sort, and that included dentists as far as he's concerned. But when he wakes up from getting them removed, the nitrous oxide makes him a bit drunker than expected. Proposing marriage to the hot nurse with the ungodly amazing blue eyes level drunk, apparently.

irresistible | @kitmistry

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 1,529 Main Tags/Warnings: Top Castiel, Bottom Dean, Porn with Plot, Strangers to Lovers, Celebrity Castiel Summary: Well, hello there, Mr. Dark-and-Handsome. Dean can spy what is surely a demi-god, talking with a few ladies across the room. The ladies all coo, and blush, and cling to him with adoration written into every curve of their shapely bodies. The demi-god, though, is cool and aloof. He smiles politely at them, but doesn’t single any of them out. Doesn’t even really look like he’s paying that much attention to them, actually. His strikingly blue eyes scan the room every now and then, without focusing on any person or art piece in particular. The demi-god turns his face so he’s looking somewhere to Dean’s left, and holy. fucking. shit. That’s Castiel Novak! The movie star!

My Honey Bee | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 1,774 Main Tags/Warnings: ABO, alpha Dean, omega Cas, true mates, scenting, first meetings Summary: Rolling his eyes as Sam excitedly made his way to a booth selling what looked like weeds as far as the alpha was concerned, Dean started wandering in the opposite direction. Wrinkling his nose in horror at an older lady selling hideous crafts made out of freaking corn husks (do people even buy crap like that?), he was suddenly hit by the most delicious scent ever. He knew he recognized it from somewhere, but he just couldn’t place it. It was sweet and thick, and even had him drooling a little from how good it smelled.

To All The Places I've Never Been | @vampamber

Rating: General Word Count: 2,814 Main Tags/Warnings: first meetings, barista Cas, pilot Dean, referenced Sam/Eileen Summary: Castiel has always wished that he could travel the world and see all the beauty and adventure awaiting him. Working at Starbucks for minimum wage, though, usually makes travel like that way too expensive and impossible. And working at said Starbucks in an airport only adds insult to injury. Maybe the cute green-eyed pilot that just ordered some coffee can sweep him away from here?

The Fortune Teller | @expectingtofly

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,038 Main Tags/Warnings: Fortune Teller!Cas, Eileen/Sam, Normal Life AU, Beach Vacation, Fluff, Inspired by the song "Fortune Teller" by Robert Plant and Allison Krauss Summary: Dean doesn't trust any of this hippy bullshit—as he likes to call it. But he's at the beach on vacation with Sam and Eileen and they've dragged him to a fortune teller, so he reluctantly follows. Cue an attractive, charming fortune teller and a palm reading Dean wants to dismiss, but can't seem to shake.

Winchester's Haunted House | @deansmultitudes & @kitmistry

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,417 Main Tags/Warnings: Modern AU, Past Character Death, Ghost!Cas, Halloween, Haunted House Summary: For the Halloween evening, Dean turns his new home into a haunted house for neighboring kids. But once all the guests are gone, is when the real haunting begins.

Heat powered by you | @Mistofstars

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,177 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, cold winter night, holding hands for warmth, first encounter, Fluffy, Romance, duracell campaign Summary: Just two strangers in a cold winter night, who have both missed the last bus home. Luckily, there is a bus shelter that provides warmth – as long as you hold hands to close the electric circuit. Too bad that Castiel appears pretty infuriating to Dean. Or is it something else? P Inspired by the Duracell campaign "Moments of Warmth".

The Christmas Market | @gii-heylittleangel

Rating: General Word Count: 4,377 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas Fic, First Meet, Meet Cute Summary: Being alone in a country he didn't know was never Dean's plan. Still, he tried to make the best out of it and, in the end, he thinks he really did.

Muse | @twisted-pride

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,605 Main Tags/Warnings: temporary character death, implied/referenced character death Summary: His life is but flashes Castiel has remembered from dreams, recreated in monochrome, if only so that Cas could prove this man wasn’t made up. After all, he’s certain he’s alive, that he’s someone out there that Cas just can’t get out of his head: he’s stuck with Cas too long to be fictional. And yet -- and it sounds silly in Cas’ head -- he’s never met the man. Someone he has drawn and painted for at least a decade, one that’s haunted his dreams even longer, and he didn’t even know his name. --- Ever since he was young, Cas has been haunted by this phantom of a man, both in his dreams and in the real world. No matter what Cas does, where he goes, the man is there too. In every mirror, every reflection, in puddles and car windows and the faintest reflection of Cas in the metal pitcher at restaurants. He's certain the man isn't the result of an overactive imagination or a ghost with unfinished business, but if he really is experiencing someone else's dreams, why is it only this stranger that Cas sees in his dreams and no one else? [Prophet AU]

This Charming Man | @expectingtofly

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,993 Main Tags/Warnings: College AU, Fluff, First Kiss, Inspired by the song "This Charming Man" by The Smiths Summary: Castiel is not having a good night. He was on a bike ride, until some asshole nearly hit him with his car, sending Cas veering onto the shoulder. Now he has a flat tire and has to walk his bike back to his college dorm. And, it looks like it's about to rain. Then said asshole returns, apologizing and offering to give Cas a drive. Sure, he's attractive and Cas' own age, but he could also be a serial killer for all Cas knows. Either this night is looking up or it's gonna get a whole lot worse.

Splash | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,132 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean wears a bikini, Genderfluid Dean Winchester, Feminization, HHomophobic Language, genderphobia, lifeguard!cas, First Time, First Kiss, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting Summary: Dean is an idiot. Since it’s hot outside and Sammy wants a break from his studies, they decide to check out the local pool. Feeling brave Dean decides to finally be himself for once. Will he regret that?

A New Perspective | @kingdumbass

Rating: Mature Word Count: 5,471 Main Tags/Warnings: First Date, Meet Cute, Blind Date, Artist Cas, Language Summary: A recently dumped Dean is begrudgingly dragged off of his couch by his brother Sam to attend an art show. As it turns out, getting off the couch can be a good thing sometimes.

The Samhain Feast | @deansmultitudes & @kitmistry

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5,840 Main Tags/Warnings: Magic AU,Wich!Dean/Familiar!Cas, Animal Sacrifice Summary: The end of the harvest. The one day the veil between our world and the otherworld is thinnest. The day when a witch coming of age can try summoning and binding a familiar. The Samhain Feast is a tradition so ancient, no one remembers how it started. Dean has attended every single one of them since he was old enough to walk, watching witches meeting their familiars and bonding with them. This year, it's his turn to make an offering. And hope one of the familiars chooses him.

Dear Santa | @imbiowaresbitch

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 5,854 Main Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Meet-Cute, Misunderstandings, Top Castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, First Kiss, Fluff and Smut, Frottage, Rimming, Anal Sex, Happy Ending, kinda a christmas fic Summary: Castiel takes his 8-year-old son Jack to the mall, where Jack decides he HAS to speak to Santa. Cas is glad he did.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 4.5/5

Book Blurb: She fears the dark. He rules it. Her dresses are too tight, her heels too tall. She laughs too loudly, eats without decorum, and mixes up most sayings in the book. Little do most know it’s just a sparkly disguise, there to hide one panic attack at a time. Nobody can crack Gianna’s facade . . . no one anyway, until he comes along. Most see a paragon of morality; a special agent upholding the law. In the New York underworld, others know him as a hustler, a killer, his nature as cold as the heart of ice in his chest. Christian Allister has always followed the life plan he’d envisioned in his youth, beneath the harsh lights of a frigid, damp cell. With a proclivity for order and the number three, he’s never been tempted to veer off course. But perhaps one should never say never . . . One winter night and their lives intertwine. She hates him—his stone-cold demeanor, his arrogance and too-perceptive eye—but over the years, even as their games consist of insulting each other’s looks and intelligence, she begins to live to play with him. Nowhere in Christian’s plans had he ever prepared for Gianna. She’s chaos embodied, not his type, and married, but none of that can stop his eyes from following her wherever she goes. All along, she doesn’t even know that she’s his—his frustration, his fascination. His maddest obsession. 

Review:

She’s been jaded by love and he’s been obsessed with her since the moment he laid eyes on her. She’s free, stubborn, and not afraid to be herself. He’s ice cold, loves order, and has no qualms with taking someone out. Gianna’s first husband broke her heart and jaded her... but there is one man who pushes all her buttons, his icy stare follows her and he knows exactly how to make her fire up. Christian lives for the lines he has in his life, he lives for order for steering clear of trouble... and Gianna is trouble, yet he can’t seem to stay away, can’t seem to follow her. Wherever Gianna is, Christian somehow is there. Both of them circling around each other year after year... but after one particular encounter where things finally climax... he leaves her and it wont be three years until they meet again and Gianna is once again married to her second husband... but this time Christian plans on keeping her in his life permanently. Three years of yearning, of pent up confusing emotions, and now Christian and Gianna are forced to confront the unsaid things between them. The hatred between them is hot enough to fuel the fire between them. Christian will have to figure out if he can fully show himself to Gianna without her running away and prove to her that he is exactly what she needs. Gianna will have to figure out if she is ready to truly give her heart to someone again, to finally put down her walls and be vulnerable. Two people, one mad obsession, and a romance for the books. I have to say this was a great read, I loved the chemistry between Gianna and Christian, they’re both people with traumatic childhoods and issues but they’re both willing to work on it. They support and love each other despite everything and its just really sweet. 

[justarandomhelluvablog]

I would love to know more about your Actor AU!

And I would love to ramble more about it!

It still takes place in Hell, the only thing is IMP is the setting/theme of a show and all our beloved characters, with the exception of the princes (who are still princes) and Verosika (who is still a popstar), they're all actors.

So as anyone who's looked through my blog for more than 3 seconds knows, I'm a poly bitch, so; Everyone Loves Blitz (tm). Of course by "everyone" I really mean Stolas, FizzaRolli, Striker and Verosika... Blitz is a bit of a dense motherfucker and doesn't realize it for a while. (Fizz absolutely looks at the other three like "good luck, I've known him since we were five and been trying to ask him out since we were like 15 and he STILL hasn't realized")

Stolas and Stella are still happily married! Stolas is bi with a huge preference for men, in fact Stella is the only woman he has any physical or romantic interest in. When Stella realizes Stolas has feelings for Blitz she's actually the one who encourages it because Stolas' libido is MUCH higher than hers so, honestly, having someone else to take care of him would just make her life easier lol

Fizz also dates Ozzie! Blitz was his wingman (he sucked at it, big time) and, though the two have known each other a relatively short amount of time, they manage to start dating before Blitz even realizes that his and Fizz' plans to go to a Mammon concert is 100% absolutely a date. Which Ozzie is the one who points out, ironically enough.

Veering away from Blitz Harem, Millie and Moxxie, the actors, are actually exclusive/monogamous, but Moxxie is a lot less "prudish" about it. He certainly won't talk about it in public or in front of an audience but he's relatively comfortable talking about it with his friends. But if he and Millie were to bring in a third it would most likely be Striker, tbh lol.

Striker and Moxxie are like, best friends. They met on set during Striker's debut episode and now every time they're both in the same ring they'll meet up to chat or have drinks, they are very close which is very surprising for fans of the show since their characters- much like Blitz' and Fizz'- are at odds. Striker will go feral if anyone hurts Moxxie OR Millie.

Blitz dads the hell out of Millie, Moxxie, Loona and Octavia (all of whom are in the 16-22 range, versus Blitz' ~30-35), much to their dismay and everyone else's amusement. Stolas is the Real Dad Advice friend, Striker is the Protective Dad friend, and Blitz is the Worried Dad friend. This is also why Blitz always brings snacks with him wherever he goes. Blitz is also the friend you have to watch because he WILL adopt that orphan over there.

Oh! Age ranges! I kept them at vaguely their ages as they are in canon, or how I interpret them at least, in what I'll lovingly call the "human equivalent" since idk how demon aging works, damn. Obviously Stolas, Stella and Asmodeus are all... well, they're old. They're among some of the oldest demons, being royals, but they're immortal and don't look a day over 40. Loona, Millie, Moxxie and Octavia are around their canon ages- that being Loona and Octavia are 16/17 (Loona aged down just slightly, so I can shove in some dad&daughter Blitz&Loona content lol), Millie and Moxxie are ~5 years older at 21/22, maybe 23. Striker is a bit older, around 26-30, and Blitz, Barbie and Fizz are in their early-mid 30's. Verosika is somewhere between 25 and 30. Tilla, who is actually Blitz and Barbie's older sister rather than their mother (she plays their mother in the show), is in her mid 40's, being somewhere between 10 and 15 years older than the twins.

Fun Actress!Tilla fact, she's the twins' half sister, who was born from their mother's highschool romance (yea, teen mom). The twins' father came into the picture much later but always treated Tilla like she was his daughter. Blitz, Barbie and Tilla are super close, Tilla basically raised them after their mother and father died in an accident. They also actually did grow up in a circus with Fizz, which is where the show's writers got the idea of their backstory! Tilla had her own acrobatic show while Blitz and Barbie were twin trapeze artists. Fizz decidedly kept his feet planted firmly on the ground. Mammon was actually the one who recruited them all and got them into acting. That's right! Mammon, not only a prince, embodiment of greed, and a rockstar- he's also Blitz, Barbie, Tilla and Fizz' agent!! Hahahaaaa~!

While RoboFizz really was an animatronic, Fizz still provided the voice lines for him! RoboFizz might also later on gain sentience and scare the fuck out of everyone, INCLUDING Fizz, and may or may not despise Blitz for reasons beyond Blitz' control, but that's neither here nor there.

Many fans don't realize FizzaRolli is an imp. It's an ongoing joke with the cast, even after The Big Reveal on Character!Blitz and C!Fizz being childhood friends and C!Fizz being an imp, people are still arguing over it. Actor!Fizz has shown up to a premier with his imp tail and broken horns on full display and people STILL argue over whether or not he's an imp.

On that note, Fizz still has bionics! They're not completely the same as his character's, working in a more "natural" way like our real-world prosthetics- the bionics for the show are actually a bit dangerous to use long-term so he treats them more like a prop- but he and Blitz were involved in an accident as teens/young adults and he took the brunt of it (Blitz never talks about it but he has IMMENSE guilt over this). Mammon actually paid for and had them commissioned, since the accident actually happened after they started working for him. (Mammon, embodiment of greed, had a risk versus reward discussion in his head and decided the cost of the bionics would be small in comparison to what Fizz could potentially bring in)

Blitz still has depression. He relates so hard to C!Blitz that sometimes you'd think he's just a less asshole version of him. Which you could say he is. He doesn't keep people at a distance or push them away like C!Blitz does but he definitely suffers from a mixture of depression and survivor's guilt (over his parents' accident and the accident he and Fizz were in). Barbie and Tilla are the only ones who he talks about it to, since they both have similar feelings about their mother and father's accident, but Fizz- having known him for 25-30 years by now- definitely knows even without Blitz talking to him about it. Neither Blitz nor Fizz talk about the accident publicly, but thankfully the writers are respectful enough to not draw from that experience for inspiration. Amazingly respectful considering they're in hell and the writers have practically lifted and dramatized the show's characters from its actors lmao

Blitz is scarily good with a gun. He'd never shot one before they were taken to a shooting range to practice- even though they'd only have props the director wanted them to make it feel real- and Blitz basically hit the target bullseye each time. Fizz jokingly remarks that he'll be watching his back from now on cuz DAMN.

Moxxie is scarily knowledgeable about guns, too- he doesn't talk about why but I'll tell you, he's from a family of assassins. He's been trained since he was young to use and make weapons and kill. He's the deadliest person on set, next to the demon princes. He met Millie, the farmer's daughter who wanted to become so much more, and fell madly in love and chose to leave the assassin life behind to pursue acting with her. Millie and Striker are the only ones who know Moxxie actually used to be an assassin like the ones their characters are portraying. Blitz finds out a little later and decides to definitely keep this from Fizz, who promptly finds out because Blitz is TERRIBLE at lying to him.

The fans! Oh god the fans!! Striker is a fan favourite, as is FizzaRolli. Verosika has so many simps. Blitz has been propositioned at least a dozen times. No one dares approach the royals ofc, they're royals, but people love Stella's off-the-rocker performance and LOVE Stolas and Ozzie singing. The demands for Striker's return! The excitement knowing more demon royals are slated to show up! Honestly, it's the show of the century, and one of the few shows that actually features Sinners instead of being made up solely of Hellborn! It's exciting for a lot of fans of the show to see princes and imps and succubi/incubi and Sinners actually all interacting, there just aren't many shows that take place in the Pride Ring and mix social standings like that, it's pretty revolutionary for Hell, all things considered.

Sinners are still confined to the Pride Ring and the Extermination is still a thing. The seven rings still apply, and the nine circles that divide the rings still exist. So far the show has avoided bringing up the Extermination and everyone is sort of waiting to see if it will ever be addressed in-universe, because it is a BIG thing and for a show that takes place primarily in Pride and interacting with Sinners in many episodes to not even mention it is a bit weird.

It's midnight now so I'm gonna stop rambling for now, but if you have any specific questions or wanna hear about anything specific, go ahead and ask and I'll get to it when I've got a little more time~! I really enjoy this universe, it's fun tying it in to canon and also separating it at the same time.

[partywithponies]

Okay, so here's the thought. Betty Spud shares a lot of DNA with the classic pantomime dame.

True, she doesn't have the usual camp falsetto voice, and instead has a very gravelly and masculine voice (let's not be coy, she has Gene Hunt's voice. Philip Glenister is straight up just doing Gene Hunt's voice for her. The show's made enough Life on Mars references for us to be fairly sure this wasn't an accident), and her outfits aren't nearly as outlandish and over the top as a panto dame look, but believe me, I've watched a lot of panto in my time, and she does have a lot of the classic panto dame DNA inside her:

Very obviously played by a man. The fact she very obviously has the size and stature of a large cis man is not shyed away from, nor is her muscles or body hair. We the audience are supposed to know and not forget that she's played by a man

The character however is obviously still meant to be a cis woman in universe, because she has birthed multiple children, something she isn't shy about making explicit reference to

This contradictory gender dichotomy is played with in interesting way, having the character simultaneously possess highly exaggerated traditionally hypermasculine traits and interests (Betty is a trucker, she's REALLY into cars and engines, she's VERY physically strong, and down for a physical fight when needs must, she instigates arm wrestling matches on dates as a form of flirting and always wins), as well as highly exaggerated traditionally hyperfemine traits (the hair, the makeup, the dresses, the love of romance and flirting and hunky men, as well as being a super housewife, spending all day looking after her babies and cooking home meals for her family in between everything else)

The mother of the main character, just like the traditional panto dame almost always is

Is allowed to be both completely in love with herself, and extremely sexually charged. Just gets away with making overt sexual references and sexual remarks and unsubtle innuendos that you usually wouldn't be allowed to include to such an overt degree in children's media. It's just okay when this character does it. It just is

Is nevertheless still an extremely loving motherly figure. Has just enough moments to remind you that behind the larger than life exterior, she's utterly devoted to her child(ren), and them to her. Also acts as a motherly figure to about every other character as well along the way. (Betty also regularly follows a classic panto dame trope of being the one to push her children into dangerous situations, then become overcome with grief and worry when she suddenly realises her children are in real imminent danger)

Is THE matriach. The entire family, in some situations the entire down, just automatically bows to her as some kind of authority figure, even when what she's doing or saying is utterly absurd

Makes a lot of pop culture references that are clearly for the adults in the audience and would clearly go completely over most children's heads

Makes a lot of very British references that a lot of potential non-british audience members simply wouldn't get

Almost veers into music hall territory at some points (the common ancestor of so many very british forms of entertainment, from the panto to the ensemble cockney musical to almost every british comedy song). (Betty is the one to literally lead the entire family in a rousing rendition of Knees Up Mother Brown in one episode)

Her love interest is a smaller, physically weak, cringefail man, who thinks Betty is absolutely the sexiest woman on the entire planet. They are allowed to be unrestrainedly horny for each other at all times

Isn't the main character, but is the absolute heart of the show. Isn't the one the main plots happen to, but is much larger than life than the main character, gets all the best lines and funniest jokes, and is often an absolute scene stealer. (This is clearly by design, Betty's at the centre of the marketing for the show and the show's official social media posts just as often as Dave himself is)

Even though she doesn't have the full over the top panto dame look, parts of Betty's character design are reminiscent of a panto dame, to me at least. I swear I've seen multiple panto dames wearing both of these exact glasses frames that Betty and her twin sister Barb wear:

So what exactly is my point here? I'm actually not sure. Are Betty and Barb panto dames? No, not quite. But are they the very close cousins of the pantomime dame? For sure. Panto dame DNA is woven so deeply into Betty's character that I'm certain she wouldn't exist without the panto framework to build upon.

The Rubbish World of Dave Spud is just an incredibly British show, and I think it's just fun to look at all the influences that made it that way.

I have. Thoughts. About the surreal grumpy northerners show. And its very british influences.

[wayhavven]

Love’s Philosophy

Gift fic for @mewsly as a part of @loveinwayhaven

Pairing: Adam Du Mortain x Detective Orianna Moreau

Rating: All

Word Count: 2712

Notes: Ah! I’m so nervous to post this! I really hope I did your detective justice, she seems amazing 🥺 I went for sort of mid-romance vibes... this is also the first time I’ve written Adam, or anything TWC actually, so I have been a little worried about how he comes across as well. I really hope you enjoy😅

Summary: Adam spends some time in the library.

Adam grunts as his large fingers slip over the leather bound books on the shelf. He’s tucked away right at the back of the library in the bunker, looking for absolutely nothing in particular. If each title that flicks in his peripheral is decidedly not something else, then, well, he wouldn’t notice. And he certainly doesn’t notice the mug ring on the coffee table at the end of the row. Still wet. He can say with ninety-nine point nine percent accuracy that this is a result of a sickeningly sweet, creamer-laced coffee, probably left half full and forgotten momentarily because it’s owner had been perusing the shelves for something else about the supernatural.

And then it catches him, an old—perhaps very early edition if he remembers right—edition of Pride and Prejudice. She doesn’t know it’s here, because he’s sure she would’ve said.

But when he reaches for it, his hand stops by itself. It drags across the direction toward the dark corners, moving at speed until—plod. Something leather-bound with a worn bookmark partway through. As he gently slides it out, Adam notes the gold type font on the front: a poetry anthology. Shelley, to be specific. He knows a lot of these by heart, three-hundred odd years of people raving about the rakes and romantics will do that to a guy. All the same, he’s sure to thumb carefully to the bookmarked part. The spine squeaks as it opens, a quiet yawn where Adam is waking it from a nap. A little dust flies up and is highlighted in the strips of dim lamplight from above. He looks up briefly, checking his surroundings. Not that the detective would be able to come anywhere near him without his pheromones going off. Even if he wasn’t a vampire, he’s sure he’d recognise the sound of her footfall underwater. Because he has to know to protect her properly, of course.

The page the book has squeaked open to has one poem on it: ‘Love’s Philosophy.’

Adam, not particularly taken with poetry for the most part, doesn’t know this one. Only the very famous ones when it comes to Percy Bysshe Shelley: ‘Ozymandias,’ ‘To a Skylark,’ ‘Stanzas Written in…’

Reading for enjoyment as a rule isn’t his thing. But the little he does recall never really lit anything in him. He has never felt how he was told poetry should be making him feel. Maybe he is too worn from years spent focusing on most things aside from feeling. Absentmindedly grazing his thumb over the page, feeling each grain of the pulp on his finger tips, Adam finds his eyes wandering back to the wet mug ring on the coffee table to his right. Drying now, the sheen dulling to match the light wood. It’s nice wood, light, fresh, slightly enthusiastically holding the weight of forgotten books. Adam’s a little lost in the colour. Because it echoes in his mind a similar colour that has been the focus of many an accidental daydream.

Suddenly, he’s seeing pretty light brown eyes; caramelly, iridescent when they’re in that one chair in the office where the sun has a chance to shine on them. Lighting up when she learns new things, particularly those of his world; the supernatural world. Creasing a little in the corners when she makes the odd sarcastic quip. Dilating every so often when he’s talking to her, for reasons he isn’t sure.

One of the books on the table is leather-bound in a deep red, and Adam finds himself imprinting the image of coils of long hair that exact shade into the space he stares at. Adam actively does not enjoy that his brain wanders like this. That it seems to veer off task for silly reasons.

He shakes his head. If only he had a use for sleep. He doesn’t often find himself wishing that, but these days… perhaps more often. Perhaps he wonders what he might dream of.

But he doesn’t want to lose the control of consciousness. It keeps him in check. It keeps him able to protect the detective.

And he doesn’t want to lose control full stop. Doesn’t let himself think too deeply about any of it for fears he may push himself past retrieval.

Adam finds, as he stands there almost frozen, that his mind wanders to a day not so dissimilar to this one. When he had been reading late, against his wishes, for some information Rebecca requested.

—-

With each line he reads, Adam can feel his biceps twitching to get some combat under his belt. This is more Nate’s expertise; he’d far rather be out trying to get one up on Morgan. But, alas, he has been given other responsibilities. And he always fulfills his responsibilities. He finds himself sighing each time he turns the page, increasingly frustrated that he actually seems to be learning less.

Like a saving grace, the library door creaks open and he looks up from where he stands by the window. One hand in his pocket, one under the old book. Detective Orianna Moreau enters, a candle highlighting the high points of her soft, deep brown skin, shining in the light-hued eyes which find him almost immediately. Her silhouette casts subtle grey shadows on the wall behind her as she nears him.

He’d known she was coming, of course. He always does. But it’s always a different thing actually seeing her. Like he’s never completely convinced she’s really there.

She smiles gently at him, nearing with the candle in her grip melting down itself, flickering.

“You’re up late,” she says, placing the candle down by him on a ledge. “I thought you might need a bit of light.”

Light. Like her. Her charming, friendly, easygoing nature always lights up the room. Adam reveres it sometimes. Sometimes he doesn’t.

It makes him a little nervous, actually. And he hates feeling nervous. Hates losing himself in the light when he has to focus on work and tasks.

“Thank you.”

He doesn’t say anything else, but is acutely aware as he remains standing in his spot, that the detective goes to sit on a nearby sofa. She’s supposed to be researching too, so it’s not too odd, but humans do have to sleep, after all.

“Should you not be asleep?” He turns just enough so that he can see her from the side of his face.

“I have to learn this, and want to. There are far worse ways to be spending an evening.” She smirks at him, suggestive and amused. “Come and sit with me.”

At first, Adam was going to outright point-blank say no. So he’s not completely sure why his legs carry him over to the sofa and lower him down beside her. But far enough away that there’s significant space between them. She laughs and rolls her eyes, scooting over next to him. The small amount of her body which presses up against him sends a shock of ice up his veins. She’s warm, so warm, that he feels like his ice is melting a little. It’s almost terrifying, but Adam doesn’t move. Doesn’t show outwardly how he’s feeling. Lets his thigh burn quietly as though he’s already extinguished the flames.

The book in his hand drops to his lap, his other hand twitching on his thigh. She gives him that smile again and his heart almost stops. Settling back into the cushions, Orianna picks up the book from his hands and starts to dig into it.

“I was reading that.”

“I know, but you weren’t enjoying it.”

That she seems to know this about him, though, isn’t lost on Adam. He believes himself to be stoic and mysterious perhaps, but maybe Orianna can see past that. Through it. The way Nate always does.

She holds the book in her left hand, her right sitting on her thigh somewhat restlessly. Just inches from his own. Ensuring that she’s pouring all of her attention into the book, which she seems to be, Adam drops his eyes subtly to her hand. Unsure why, but seemingly doing things of his own accord, Adam’s impulse is to make contact with her. His pinky falters, reaching out a little by itself, quivering in a way he isn’t used to. A way he isn’t sure he likes. Nonetheless, he uses its movement to bolster the moving of the rest of his hand. Slowly, millimetre by millimetre, Adam lets his hand move away from his body. Slip across to the detective’s. He places his down on top of hers gently, encompassing it, letting his fingers and thumb curl around its shape. He doesn’t dare look at her, but he can’t miss in his peripheral the smug beaming grin which takes over her expression.

They sit like that a long while, Adam still, holding her hand. He should be frustrated that he’s not getting anything productive done, but he can’t be. Something about her hand in his means he cannot be anything other than content and a touch conflicted. The detective’s expression never falters as she reads, doesn’t worry when she has a hard time turning the page with the use of only one hand. Seems quite amused by it, actually. Adam chuckles himself a little internally, unable to stop the smile which spreads over his face. With his free hand, he reaches over and turns the page for her.

“Thanks.”

“It is my pleasure.”

When the detective repositions their hands, winding hers around and up, so that their hands are completely joined, Adam can’t help but finally look at her fully. She squeezes his hand, and looks up at him too. Their eyes bore into each other, melting.

It had all been going so well until Farah bounded in like a puppy with a new toy. Quickly, rushedly, Adam pulls his hand from the detective’s.

—-

He thinks about that day a lot. Wishes he didn’t. Wishes he didn’t think about a lot of things pertaining to the detective.

As though on cue, the fine hairs on his arm stand to attention, and his ears zone in on the sound of smart shoes on the linoleum. She’s coming back.

Forcing his eyes back down to the page, Adam has completely forgotten what he had even been looking at. ‘Love’s Philosophy,’ that’s it. Shelley.

She’s entering, though, and he can’t focus himself enough on what he’s holding to seem entirely nonchalant. Doesn’t give himself enough time to consider that it probably isn’t in his best interests for Detective Moreau to see what he’s holding. She’s bold, flirty. She’d pick up on something and make a remark that would have his cheeks hot and his jaw tightening in a way he doesn’t want it to.

Through the gap in the shelf he can just about see a fitted pencil skirt, shirt tucked in, emerging into the library. She’s holding another book, something supernatural focused that smells a little of blood and Adam isn’t sure where exactly came from.

Next thing he knows, she’s rounded the corner.

“Oh.” He hears her from the side, always debating how the next words will come from his mouth. She just seems a little surprised he’s there, is all. “Hi.”

He can hear the smile in her voice, senses how she places her book down on the coffee table he’d been so fixated on before. The title looks to be written in Haitian Creole.

“Hello. You have been busy.” He nods to the table. She grins. There’s always a sparkle in her eyes when she’s learning new things; especially new things about the world which only opened up to her not so long ago.

“Always have to know more, you know me.”

He does. Knows her scent, the exact amount of time which passes between each step she takes, how she shines like the sun whenever something otherworldly occurs. Knows she would be interested to know about the early edition of Jane Austen he completely accidentally came across. Knows that a large part of him wishes he didn’t know these things.

“What are you reading?” she asks, the tone of her voice something Adam hadn’t even realised he’d been yearning to hear.

“I am not. I picked it up. I will be putting it back now,” he nods, hesitating at the sight of the page. His eyes drag over the words subconsciously: heaven, sweet emotion, sunlight, moonbeams, kiss.

Things which are meant to be pretty and emotive and only seem to be making him think of the one thing he doesn’t really want to think of.

How maybe he doesn’t believe in heaven, but that it might be something close to her eyes when she smiles. Or how sweet emotion is something that Adam doesn’t feel like he can achieve, but if he were to, maybe it would be because of her. The sunlight which shines on her in her office, which highlights her features and matches her personality. Moonbeams… electric, softly-glowing, other-wordly. Kiss… well, he tries not to focus on that one.

But he also thinks sometimes he thinks too much and of too absurd topics. That he shouldn’t allow himself to think these things. He has responsibilities. Duties.

He might have closed the book and placed it back when he hears her start to near, but he feels a little too frozen on the spot.

“Shelly,” she smiles again, pulling down on the corner of the book so that she can see the contents of the page. “A love poem! Romantic,” she teases, in the way that only Orianna knows how.

“I was just interested in the bookmark.”

“Oh, that might have been me, I like this one.”

He nods, moving to close it, but his hand is caught by Orianna instead. He stiffens, the brush from her climbing up the brim in his arm right the way to his heart. Reminding him of when he’d held her hand before.

“Let me read it again.” She smiles, letting her eyes drift back over the page. She’s stubborn, so there’s no point arguing. Not that he’d have much reason to, anyway. Adam finds his curious eyes slipping over the page, too, and he reads the words in front of him.

The fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the ocean,

The winds of heaven mix for ever

With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;

All things by a law divine

In one spirit meet and mingle.

Why not I with thine?—

See the mountains kiss high heaven

And the waves clasp one another;

No sister-flower would be forgiven

If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth

And the moonbeams kiss the sea:

What is all this sweet work worth

If thou kiss not me?

When he pulls his eyes from the page, he looks to the woman beside him. She’s mouthing the last line, subtle warmth on her face, and it’s impossible to not focus on the movements of her lips as she rolls through the vowels and consonants.

“Yes, it’s lovely. Just as I remember.”

“I suppose it is not awful.”

She lets out a little snort. “You hate reading for pleasure.”

The smile he returns is ever so miniscule. She’s absolutely right, but seeing her find joy in it makes it not so bad.

He’s drawn in by the pull of her eyes again, struggling to find the right words. Creasing his brow a little, he watches her edge a little closer. Finds himself willing down the impulse to hold her hand once more.

She smiles at him, in a way that tells him she knows the look on his face. It’s frozen, unsure, repressing. So she just leans in, and places a gentle, soft kiss just below his ear. Her lips on his skin sear simultaneously hot and cold, soft. She lingers a little, hand ghosting at his jaw. A little cold touch from the jewellery she wears.

That spot feels incredibly warm even as she moves away again. Even as she pulls the book from his hands, closes it, places it back on the shelf.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Adam.”

Adam starts, not even remembering what the date was. Perhaps he’d been a little too distracted.

“I—well, yes. Happy Valentine’s Day, I suppose.”

[caslikescoffeeandfreckles]

#SpnStayHome 04/13 prompt: Gentleman

@bend-me-shape-me @helianthus21 @pray4jensen pls except my late trash i’m sorry

now available on A03

Dean hears the front door slam again and sighs, body moving out into the living room before he can even think about it.

There he finds Castiel slumped against the door, fists clenched but face deprived of any little fight he had left.

“Didn’t go well, I take it?” Dean asks grimly.

Cas doesn’t even open his eyes.

Dean edges toward the couch, letting Cas have his space and choice to talk. “I’m sorry, man.”

It takes a while, but Dean waits, knees pulled to his chest, toes wiggling in his socks with the urge to run over and hug Cas close, stroke his hair, kiss his lips. Tell him that Dean is here for him, in any way Cas will have him.

Which is exactly why he stays put.

“It’s like I’m cursed,” Cas finally whispers. When Dean looks up, Cas’s eyes are finally open and the disappointment is dark blue and heavy.

“It’s not you, Cas,” Dean tells him for the thousandth time. “You just... keep dating jerks.”

Cas laughs but there’s no humor. “Pretty sure that still makes me the problem. I just... I’m so tired of trying.”

Dean would like to tell him that he doesn’t have to try. But that would be unwelcome and not to mention completely inappropriate given the situation.

It’s not that Dean has necessarily tried to hide his feelings for Cas over the years. In fact, he’s been more obvious about his crush on his roommate than he’s ever been with any former partners. Maybe he hasn’t said it in so many words but... actions speak louder right?

Which left Dean with just two possibilities: either Cas was an oblivious idiot or not interested.

And Cas is anything but an idiot.

The quiet rejection hurt more than Dean would ever let on. But Cas never allowed it to affect their friendship, never indicated that he was uncomfortable with Dean’s gestures. Dean still tried to dial it back and challenged himself to be the best friend Cas deserved even if that meant listening to him chatter about the guys he was talking to and picking up the pieces after the guys blew everything apart.

“Or maybe this is what I deserve...”

Dean’s head whips up when Cas speaks again, mostly to himself. “What?”

Cas shrugs. “I don’t know, I just... I’m starting to think maybe this is what dating is like. Maybe I have just have too high standards or I’m being unrealistic.”

Dean shakes his head as Cas talks but Cas isn’t looking, into act he’s already peeling himself off the door and heading to his room, head still bowed and shoulders down.

He looks so sad and defeated and Dean wants to argue but bites his tongue.

He hears Cas’s door click shut and closes his own eyes.

In no world should someone as amazing as Cas leave a bad date feeling that it’s what he deserves...

Cas has to know that. He deserves the best partner, the best dates, the best kind of love story.

And maybe Dean isn’t the one he wants that love story with. But Dean can at least open the book for him.

The next Saturday, Dean makes up an excuse for a celebratory dinner and tells Cas to get cleaned up.

He leads Cas to the impala, hustling to open the door for him which Cas raises an eyebrow at. Dean just smiles and carefully shuts the door once Cas is safely inside.

“Pick something,” he says, gesturing to the radio.

“You’re letting me pick the music?” Cas asks and the incredulity is not lost.

“I’m feeling generous.”

“But what happened to driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole?” His voice changes as he quotes Dean to himself and laughs.

Dean bites a grin and keeps both hands on the wheel. “Just pick something good before I change my mind.”

The restaurant isn’t a super fancy place but it’s a grade above the kind of dives Dean usually patrons. He hadn’t wanted something so fancy that he and Cas felt uncomfortable, but also not a place where a brawl was likely to break out at any moment.

He isn’t able to get out before Cas opens his own door but he does manage to hold the restaurant door for him and even allows a brief touch to Cas’s lower back as he passes. Cas doesn’t flinch or frown or look at him weird. In fact, he may not have noticed at all.

They get an intimate little table by the windows and Dean holds Cas’s chair out for him.

Cas does frown now, looking at Dean like he’s lost his mind or grown a second a head. “What are you doing?”

“Holding out your chair for you,” Dean responds like it’s normal.

Hesitantly, Cas steps closer and lowers himself into the seat as Dean pushes him in. “What a gentleman,” Dean hears him rumble, a soft tone of amusement in his voice.

Dean can’t help a grin as he claims the seat opposite of Cas and shrugs. “Mary Winchester wouldn’t have raised anything less.”

A knowing grin steals across Cas’s lips. “No, she wouldn’t.”

They have an excellent dinner. Cas picks something from the wine list and Dean goes with it, not understanding any of the words Cas uses to describe the flavor but enjoying it all the same. Their food is delicious and even though Dean could happily wolf down every bite, he offers some to Cas, raising his fork to Cas’s lips and stomach stirring with wild butterflies when Cas opens his mouth to accept. Cas looks a little red for a few minutes after that, which pleases Dean to his toes.

“Don’t forget your leave room for dessert,” Dean says when Cas leans back against his chair.

“Dessert?” Cas repeats. “What was it we’re celebrating, again?”

Dean shrugs. “Doesn’t really matter why. Just matters that we’re together, right?”

When Cas doesn’t respond right away, Dean feels hot fear rush through him. Maybe he went a little too far, veering into romantic side of things. Sure, he wants to show Cas what a good date can be like, what it’s like to be properly wooed and romanced. But that doesn’t change the fact that Cas only wants him as a friend.

“Right,” Cas says at long last, his voice soft and quiet again. “Together.”

They order their dessert and once again Dean finds himself spoon feeding Cas a taste of his chocolate pie. But this time, there are no nervous butterflies. This time, it’s all heat. A searing, thick heat that fills his lower half and runs down his skin, tight, as Cas’s eyes seem to glaze over with something Dean’s never seen before, something desperate and primal and eager as his pink lips separate and Dean catches just the faintest glimpse of his tongue before he licks the treat into his mouth.

Dean’s pretty sure he’s the one sitting there like a bright red tomato after that.

When all is finished and the dishes are clear, the waiter leaves a single bill on the table.

“Oh, we’ll need two checks,” Cas starts.

But Dean is already sliding his card into the folder. “This is fine,” he says and hands it back to the waiter.

The admonishment is loud and clear and Cas says Dean’s name. “You’re the one we’re supposed to be celebrating tonight. If anyone should be paying, its me.”

“Maybe next time,” Dean promises and prays there will be a next time. If not here, then in the next life or in some alternate universe where Cas feels the same and goes on real dates with Dean where they can share bites of food without feeling nervous and bicker over the bill knowing it doesn’t matter.

Cas leans back, eyes scanning Dean suspiciously before he grins. “I feel like we’re on a date almost,” he says and laughs. Like it’s the craziest idea in the world. Impossible.

The laugh hurts but Dean swallows it down and smiles. “It can be whatever you want it to be.”

Cas’s smile vanishes and Dean could slap himself. Definitely too far.

Luckily, the waiter returns then. Dean busies himself signing the receipt and leaving a generous tip.

“Have a lovely evening, gentlemen,” their waiter says. “We hope to see you again.”

Dean doesn’t let his nerves ruin his plan as he and Cas stand and he gestures for Cas to walk ahead. He still holds the door for Cas and opens the car door for him, all the while ignoring the strange look on Cas’s face.

Cas doesn’t bother with music on the drive home and Dean is too scared to let his hands stray from the wheel.

He crossed a line somewhere, he knows — can sense it. Maybe this idea hadn’t been the best or the most mature. He’d just wanted to show Cas what he was deserving of, how he should expect to be treated when he granted someone his time and attention.

The idea of Cas settling for less or internalizing all of his romantic mishaps as his fault is just not acceptable in Dean’s book. The man sitting next to him is the closest thing to perfection Dean has ever known and deserves nothing bht the best, better than everyone. Better than Dean.

When they arrive home, Cas still isn’t speaking but he also doesn’t move to get out. Dean wants to ask if he’s okay, if Dean did something wrong. But truthfully, he’s too scared to know the answer.

So he gets out and goes to open Cas’s door. Cas still takes a moment before he gets out and he doesn’t look at Dean.

They walk up to their apartment in silence and Dean unlocks the door with shaking fingers.

Cas still isn’t speaking and Dean is feeling sicker and sicker by the second. It’s time to end this and pretend this night never happened.

So with a dramatic yawn, Dean starts tugging off his suit jacket and makes a beeline for his room. “Well, good night, Cas,” he says over his shoulder, too afraid to look back. “Thanks for coming with me. I’ll talk to you-”

“Dean,” Cas interrupts.

Dean freezes, turning around but not looking directly at Cas. “Uh, yeah?”

He can’t see the expression on Cas’s face, can only see the shadow of his hand moving against his thigh as he nervously grapples with the material. Dean definitely fucked this up.

“Was tonight... a date?”

Dean doesn’t like lying to Cas and normally an opening like this is what he dreams of. But after the way Cas has been acting since he joked about it only feeling like a date, Dean almost can’t find the courage to take it. Almost because, even though he’s terrified, there’s still that little bit of logic left that says at least if he’s honest now and gets the answer he anticipates he’ll finally be free to move on.

And maybe that’s what Cas truly needs. Not some desperate idiot trying to show him a good time, but a true friend with no ulterior motives.

“Uh, I mean, kind of,” Dean says at last. “But, like, it doesn’t have to be. I’m sorry if I made things weird. I wasn’t trying to. I just...” He tries to think of the best way to explain himself but there’s really now way to spin it where he doesn’t look like a pathetic creep. “Look, I’m sorry, Cas. I wasn’t trying to trick you or make your uncomfortable or anything. I just wanted to show you a good time after what happened last weekend.”

“By taking me on a date without telling me?”

Dean winces, because damn. This is a lot worse than he thought. “Yeah, I realize how fucked up that was now. I guess when you said that you deserved all that bad stuff that kept happening to you, I wanted to prove you wrong?” There’s a hurricane of nerves tearing through Dean’s body and he really can’t tell if he’s going to be sick or have a heart attack. “But tricking you into a date was wrong. I’m sorry.”

Dean has the decency to at least look Cas in the eyes when he apologizes and he’s a little shocked to not find disgust or burning hatred in his best friend’s eyes. In fact, if Dean didn’t know any better he’d say Cas looks confused and maybe... nervous? Of what, Dean can’t imagine.

“Why...” Cas begins, slow and soft. “Why did you think you had to trick me into a date?”

Dean’s face pinches, remembering all the rejections at once. “Because you’ve never said yes before?” 

Cas’s eyes widen. “To a date?”

Dean just nods.

“But when did you ask me out?”

A slimy sort of feeling settles in Dean’s gut, feeling suspiciously like doubt. But... that can’t be right. “I can’t tell if you’re messing with me...” 

“Messing with you?” Cas echoes. Before Dean can even turn around, there’s a hand gripping his wrist and holding him in place. Cas’s eyes have bloomed into something wild and desperate, like the look he had when Dean was feeding him at dinner. “Dean, I feel like we’re not having the same conversation here. You’ve never asked me out because that is certainly not something I would forget and there is no chance in hell I would have said no once let alone multiple times.”

Dean stares, trying to understand if Cas is lying or if Dean has really been that big of an idiot this entire time. “I used to ask you out all the time!” he finally shouts. “I-I-I asked you out to dinner like a month after we moved in together. I asked you out to see that band you like when they were in town! I tried to take you bowling! I invite you to the movies all the time but you always say no! I even tried to kiss you at that Halloween party last fall and you almost pushed me off the couch!” That was when Dean had finally given up. Message received loud and clear. 

Realization brightens Cas’s eyes before the shock sets in. “I thought you were just drunk!” Cas exclaims. “And I didn’t want to kiss you while you were intoxicated. Wait, you mean you bought those concert tickets as a date?” Something close to horror crosses Cas’s face. “Oh god, and I took-”

“Balthazar,” Dean mumbles. “Don’t remind me.”

“Oh, Dean,” Cas says and there’s a regret in his voice that Dean has never heard before. “I had no idea.”

Dean doesn’t know what to say. Cas looks like he’s just had a life-changing revelation and Dean feels like he’s treading muddy water, an ocean of bad memories and self-deprecating thoughts without even a light to guide him. 

Because Cas is saying that he never knew. That all those times Dean thought he was being obvious and brave, Cas was completely clueless. That Cas hasn’t been rejecting Dean all this time. He never knew Dean was interested. And it kind of sounds like... Cas has been interested. 

“Dean?” Fingers snap in his face and Dean blinks back to reality to find Cas staring at him, eyes a little less wild and more worried. They soften when Dean focuses. “You’re thinking too hard,” Cas says.

“I’m confused,” Dean admits slowly. 

He doesn’t recognize the face Cas is making now but it makes him feel hot and like he wants to jump out of his skin but also freeze this moment in time forever so he never has to see anything else ever again. It makes him feel like he’s choking but also breathing properly for the first time in his life. Like they’re the only two left in the entire universe but also like they are the universe at the same time? So unthinkably big but small, everything and nothing. Loved. So incredibly, poetically loved.

“I think I can get you caught up,” Cas whispers.

Before Dean can think, he feels soft lips press into his. 

There are no fireworks because those would have been loud and distracting for a moment as precious as this. It’s a quiet, private sort of explosion between them, a galaxy being born and filling with more and more stars with every passing second. 

Dean doesn’t no how long they stay suspended in space, doesn’t really care. He knows that when they separate, he feels different. Like a different person. Like his body isn’t fully his own anymore. And he loves it. 

“I could do that forever,” Cas breathes against his lips because he didn’t go far. Hopefully never will.

“Me too.”

He feels Cas smile and he tingles with it. 

“Then I think we should go to bed,” Cas says, then pauses, eyes frowning. “Wait. Are we going too fast?”

Dean can’t help but laugh. “Well I don’t know what you were expecting but, for the record, I don’t put out on the first date. I’m a gentleman, remember?”

Cas’s laugh is warm air against Dean’s chin. He doesn’t respond and the silence is not awkward or anxious. It feels just as precious as their first kiss, in fact, just as right and comfortable. There’s a permission in that moment, to study one another and to learn through touch and taste.

Dean longs to kiss Cas’s jaw and so he does. Keeps kissing until he reaches Cas’s ear and nibbles on the lobe. Feels the way Cas shivers against him and knows he’ll never be able to deny Cas a thing.

He whispers, “But for you I’ll make an exception.” 

He thinks Cas will always be the exception. And he knows somehow, without being told, that he’ll always be Cas’s.

[nsheetee]

Love In Silence

Requested: Taeyong + ”I just wanted to hear your voice”

Genre: Neighbor AU | Angst, Fluff

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: You meet Taeyong after you move in next door, an indescribable and strong feeling connecting you together that you only let yourself fall into through little words and small touches. If only Taeyong had met you before he married someone else...

taeyong got married 2 years ago

and he was so in love

being a newlywed was a whirlwind of emotions; from elatedness to content to domesticity 

he thought his life was complete, that he could live peacefully knowing that everything he ever dreamed and hoped of was finally his

then, he met you

and he realized he didn’t have everything he wanted

because he didn’t have you

you started out as just a new neighbor 

you knocked on his door one sunny saturday morning, an apple pie balanced on your hands and a small smile on your face as you greeted him and his wife

you sat on his couch, back straight and hands now cupping a warm cup of tea

you got along great with his wife

and you got along great with taeyong, too

from the first meeting, there was something about him that made your eyes veer off of his spouse and glance at him

he was not only comforting, despite his sharp features and even sharper stare, but also enticing and warm

you came over for dinner that same night, taeyong’s wife absolutely demanding it since you’re new to town and “shouldn’t spend your first meal in a new town alone!”

enjoying the delicious cooking was hard when your mind was only thinking of your male neighbor

his knee touching yours under the table and his voice dizzying your head; you think you’ll remember his voice for the rest of your life

you felt so guilty, so bad for thinking these things about taeyong, especially when it didn’t seem like he was returning any of your secret looks 

until he walked you home after dinner ended

you pushed taeyong’s wife to let you help with the dishes; it was the least you could do since she made an amazing dinner, but she playfully shoved you and taeyong out of the kitchen and ordered him to walk you home

“you don’t have to.” you laughed lightly as you put your shoes on, “I’m just next door.”

“it’s no problem, really.”

you walked down the narrow hallway, shoulder to shoulder, hearts beating so loudly that the sound almost echoed off of the floor

“this is my place.” you awkwardly point behind you when you reach your door, the paint chipping off around the hinges

“just so you know, I’ll always be next door if you ever need help with anything. just let me know, yeah?” 

you could only stare at him, and he could only stare back

his proposition, a seemingly innocent exchange between new neighbors, held layers of unspoken feelings and words underneath

his eyes pushed you against the door, ravaged in the sight of you, and flooded your chest with feelings of want and desire

it was all too much for you

and you loved it

the feelings choking you were new and it made you feel like you were on top of the world, despite them blooming from such a dark place

you don’t mind drowning if taeyong is the one pushing you in

but when the elevator dings somewhere down the hall, it brings you out of your own minds and places you back into reality

you physically shake your head to help push away your swimming thoughts, not making eye contact with taeyong as you punch in your apartment’s code

“thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”

and you did

when your water stopped working late one night, and your landlord was not answering your calls, you made a short walk to your neighbor’s door with taeyong’s words in the back of your mind

taeyong’s wife greeted you and after you explained the situation, she laughed and waved her hand

“oh, that’s no problem. taeyong can fix it! I’ll go get him now.” before you can protest, she had already left to go retrieve her husband

you weren’t sure what you were expecting by coming over to your neighbor’s place, but this wasn’t it

you paced in front of their door, mentally psyching yourself up for your next encounter with taeyong

you made a promise to yourself: don’t look at him too much, don’t speak to him too much, don’t think about his touches too much

it was easier said then done

leading taeyong to your apartment silently, you kept your head down and your mouth shut

“so, what happened to your water?”

“it stopped working.”

“... okay.” taeyong trailed off, “did it work earlier today?”

“yes.”

“what worked?”

“the bathroom.”

“what about the kitchen sink?”

“not sure.”

“what’s wrong?” his next question caught you off guard, and you managed to look up from your slipper-clad feet

taeyong is standing in the middle of your open-plan apartment, a tool box in one hand and a concerned look on his face

something tells you the concerned look is for you, not for your water problem

“I just said, my water isn’t work-”

“no, not that. you look down, is everything okay?” were you about to tell him that he was the problem?

no

because he was also the solution

and him standing in the middle of your home with his pajamas on and light brown hair flopping over his forehead made him look like he was in the middle of his own home

he blended in with your blue walls, the brown carpeted floor, the house plants by the window so well, you thought he had been here his whole life

but this wasn’t his home

he was a stranger here, and you so, so badly wanted him to feel familiar

“nothing,” you sighed, “just a long day at work.” taeyong could see through your lie, but decided not to bug you about it further

you decided that acting cold towards taeyong would only confuse him and hurt you

it was no use to pretend like he doesn’t exist because his existence is all the you seek

his presence at the mailboxes every morning before you leave for work

how he would send you his smile as he filed through his new mail

his singing permeating through your front door every time he walks past to his apartment

his laughter filtering through your living room wall whenever he watched his favorite tv show in his home

all of these little moments with him blessed you everyday

and at the same time, reminded you of what you can never have

on a particularly rainy night, you waited for taeyong’s singing to ring past your front door, but it never came

you wondered where he was

did he get stuck in the rain?

did he have to put in extra hours at work?

did he go to the grocery store today?

the endless possibilities worry you, until you hear a knock on your door

as you open it, lightening strikes outside, the rain hitting your windows and the side of the building with so much force, you’d think that the gods were angry

taeyong stands on your welcome mat, hair and shoulders dripping with rain water, his bag scuffing against the floor as it dangles from his fingertips

“taeyong? are you okay?” you ask in a whisper

he stares at you blankly, or maybe with so much emotion that you can’t pick any out in the cluster that appear on his face

he lightly drops his bag on the floor and steps closer

you don’t dare move away

gravity pulls you together, like two magnets that are so close to each other, it would be defying the laws of gravity to attempt to pull them apart at this point

his nimble hand comes up, cold and wet fingertips landing on your warm cheek and neck, caressing the skin he’s never touched before but has so desperately wanted to feel 

his actions are unexpected, but you welcome them anyway, your hands resting on his waist and under his ribs 

you can faintly feel his heartbeat, it’s calm and slow

his forehead rests against yours, his nose tickling your cheek, and his hair dripping onto your own

you don’t mind the smell of rain radiating off of him, or his t-shirt sticking to yours 

just the feeling of having him this close is enough for you

taeyong forgets about his commitments for a moment and revels in the peace he has found in you

it’s a struggle to keep your eyes open, wanting to take in this moment with all of your senses

the greatest and most memorable moments in life happen when your eyes are closed: laughing, sleeping, praying, kissing

and although you’re not doing any of those right now, this moment feels like one to embrace with your eyes closed

you want to ingrain this moment into your mind for the rest of your life because you don’t know when you’ll get another one like it

“say it again.” taeyong commands, his voice soft and smooth like the new pattern of falling rain outside; maybe the gods are happier now

“what?”

“my name.” his thumb on your cheeks moves, beckoning you to follow his words

“taeyong,” you repeat, also rubbing your hands against him, “are you okay?” you ask again

he sighs, forehead falling off of yours and into your neck, bringing the two of you chest to chest

“yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice.” 

letting taeyong go when he was just so close to you was probably one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do

you share a look; a silent agreement to not discuss what just happened here

taeyong picks up his bag, not shivering from the wet clothes that stick to him, but from the absence of you

the walk from your door to his own was probably one of the hardest things he has ever had to do

after closing your front door, you sit down on your couch, the movie you paused earlier illuminating your living room and the pounding of the storm shaking the building once again

despite all that, you still hear taeyong on the other side of your living room wall, greeting his wife and hearing her chipper laughter at her lover’s return

you fall over on your couch, numbly pressing the play button for the tv to hopefully drown out the noises

you never believed that wrong timing could affect romance 

until now

you and taeyong met in the wrong time and the wrong place, and these two factors now rule your relationship

you and taeyong have learned the lesson of loving something enough to let it go, of loving something only from a distance

and to continue to love in silence