#relationship thoughts

[champagnemamidiaries]

They don’t know me, they know what they think they know, and that’s a dangerous game to play.

[newrelationshipgoals]

Genuine people don’t come around too often anymore it seems. If you come across someone that’s real and stays true, you may want to keep them close. Many are out for self these days.

[colordogluckynumber]

JWCT Spoilers (yasammy thought dump)

I'm gonna say it. I adore Yasammy, and truly hope it works out next season. But GOOD for Sammy standing up for herself! Yaz was not getting it at all, not hearing Sammy, not seeing her emotional struggle. Yaz didn't try at all S1-S3 to consider Sammy's feelings/side over their relationship issues (and the family + Brooklynn topics just were the last straw).

S1 was very focused on Yaz's recovery "look I'm better & I'm proving it by staring down dinosaurs and protecting Sammy" (I'm not downplaying this; it's great!) and Sammy recognized it multiple times. Yaz really focused the "we're a team" aspect, true, but this didn't mean she was addressing Sammy's needs.

S2 Yaz was way more physical with Sammy (also into S3) which gives off vibes that she thought they had reconciled their issues thanks to her, possibly even assuming Sammy's happy-go-lucky love automatically forgave her for 'leaving to get better'. We all know Yaz is the physically-driven one & Sammy emotionally-driven. Yaz saw (in retrospect S3) how much Sammy connected with their host family, but never acknowledged why Sammy was so happy there; instead stating that if Sammy really missed that connection, she should just make amends with her family, completely missing the point that Sammy was so happy cuz she has underlying grief.

S3 finally gave ample opportunities to address Sammy & her family+camp fam feelings (at least 4x) where all Yaz had to do was allow them to get emotionally deep, to not just hear Sammy's concerns, but ask why she felt that way, & actually acknowledge that she hurt Sammy. Yaz needed to realize that every time Sammy said she's feeling betrayed by Brooklynn (ie. Leaving without explanation, not asking for help when she needed it, and not standing by them while they are hurt), it directly paralleled her feeling betrayed by Yaz. Yaz then doubling down on not thinking to meet Sammy's emotional needs & instead calling her a coward was heartbreaking.

Now, I honestly believe that Yaz 100% 1. thought they were good, 2. thought Sammy's focus was on Brooklynn and did not see it as a parallel toward their relationship, and 3. she wasn't told the whole story behind Sammy's family abandoning her cuz Sammy was also not a good communicator during this ordeal.

Regardless, Yaz expressed her whole point of getting control of her PTSD was was to be seen as a girlfriend, but she's missing the critical emotional component of what a relationship needs. I also feel that Yasammy's miscommunication parallels Kenlynn, who were not able to work through their issues, so I am hopeful the Writers are using Yasammy to showcase a functional means to fix bad fights in the next season. 🤞 (After thought, now I'm hoping for a split screen Sammy-Kenji & Yaz-Brooklynn talk about what they wish had been done differently)

[priyanshis-things]

A man who can't love but desperately needs to be loved is a dangerous thing indeed.

- Lisa Jewell, Then She Was Gone

[schattenhonig]

Friendly reminder if you are suffering from RSD and are just very insecure about what is ok in a relationship and/or friendship:

if your s/o or crush had a rough week at work and you have been fussing over them but they say they don't need anything right now, trust them. And if you're like me and now you feel like you're suffocating them, like you're the clingiest person ever and you generally messed it all up and they hate you now, breathe. Just breathe for a moment.

If that was the case, they'd probably tell you. Unless they told you you f*cked up, things are probably ok. And even if they aren't ok, you can't travel back in time (unless you have a TARDIS, in that case I'd like to re-visit some moments for... science) it already happened and you can only learn from it. I know, for this occasion it's too late and the rejection and the shame hurt like hell. Breathe.

You are still learning to love each other right (and I mean love in all kinds and flavours, like platonically or romantically or any and all of what this can be). There's no shame in that. You showed how much you care about them, that's nothing to be ashamed of. You maybe even made yourself vulnerable by asking them if you're being too much. That is intimacy. I hope they can respond in an equally honest and caring way. If they can't handle it, that's ok, it doesn't mean you did something wrong.

I guess what I needed to hear tonight, and I think some of you too, is: don't beat yourself up for caring a lot. And especially don't beat yourself up for being brave enough to show it. This was not a mistake. This was a tiny piece of a bigger puzzle that may eventually become an honest and trusting relationship. Now go get yourself a glass of water or a cup of tea, breathe a little more and cuddle your favourite plushie, pet or person.

[whispersandwindowpanes]

"Expectations"

They say not to have them.

That expectations ruin relationships.

But who else do you expect from, if not the person who loves you the most?

So we expect quietly.

We hope they'll understand, show up, notice the little cracks in our smile.

But when they don’t… we break.

We stay silent,

we hide our feelings,

we say “I’m okay” when we’re not.

We pretend it didn’t hurt.

We pretend we didn’t care.

And the worst part?

We do it alone.

No shoulder to cry on, not even theirs.

Because we’re scared our expectations will be “too much.”

But is it really fair…

to not be able to expect anything from the one you love?

Isn’t love supposed to be the safest place for expectations to exist?

I don’t know.

Maybe it’s not about expecting less

maybe it’s about finally being loved by someone who meets those expectations without being asked.

maybe it’s about finding someone who understands your unspoken hopes.

[tananore]

We shouldn't be expected to sign up for the whole package of a relationship in exchange for simple human contact. I'm honestly fine on my own, I don't need a relationship, I don't have time or emotional capacity for such commitment. I just need a hug.

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

When I gaze into your eyes, the world fades away, leaving nothing but the moment between us. I know it may sound like a cliché, but being with you takes me back to a time when life was simple, when I was a child, untouched by the weight of the world, and everything was pure.

[proserphia]

Every time that I refuse having sex, I feel so guilty and like I have disappointed my partner. They tell me it’s fine. And I know it is MY right to refuse or agree, yet still.

Every ‘no’ breaks my heart a little more when I see their face fall. They understand. They get it. They tell me it is alright.

Yet all I feel is disappointment and like I am in the wrong. The feeling creeps around my neck like vines—desperate for sunlight.

But instead of sunlight, they find the guilt I am drowning in.

I thought I was ready. It wouldn’t even be my first time. But I am scared. I am scared they will leave after getting what they want.

I doubt sex is ALL they want. But my mind is desperate to convince me otherwise.

Sorry, this one blog is bland and boring. I am writing this at 5:23AM :((

[justanothergreb]

The moment you realise the reason you took such an instant dislike to certain people isn't just because you can spot a faker a mile off ("I'm so complex" - no you aren't) but also because my hypervigilent ass is picking up they have changed the behaviours of people I am close to and nobody should have the power to change a person or feel compelled to change themselves for anyone. It's a big no-no.

[champagnemamidiaries]

I was always too much for them to love, but never too much for them to use

[newrelationshipgoals]

I pray you marry a person who will listen to your worries with an attentive ear. A spouse that will take your tears seriously and won't be annoyed when you falter. A spouse that will make every effort to see you smile and will protect your precious heart at any cost.

[ryisbread]

Going to be a little vulnerable for a second. I know the relationship was. . . it was bad. I transformed and worked to be someone for them that I knew deep down — I just.

wasn’t.

I wish we were still together, though on some level. I wanted to call them and say ‘babe! It happened! My work paid off’

I can’t, though

[matlabimahila]

K-28

When you can physically feel them slipping away<<<<<<<

[aplaceforherhead]

It’s hard for me to deal with feeling unwanted by my partner. i know it’s trauma but i can’t help but feel like i’m not good enough. and although i know i am(for me) i don’t understand how each of my partners tend to stop showing affection and just get comfortable. maybe it’s my fault. maybe i tend to give more than i should so i create comfort. #

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm falling for You, Don't make me go Blue.