#rly trying to be safe with this one lmao there’s a LOT

[m-aximumjoy]

like brother, like brother

[nomaishuttle]

budgeting is looking like hooooopefully i should have a pretty good amt of money saved up in time for moveout :] like around 5000 which is faiiiirly good my goal is 3 months costs backed up and obv i currently dont know emrm what the rent will be... hopefully i can find something fairly cheap butwe will see... and if i find one in a good walkable location ill save sm on lyft costs...

[save-a-forest-ride-a-bear]

Heya!!

So I'm a little obsessed with the secret relationship trope... i was wondering if you could do an Astarion x reader secret relationship but maybe during a fight, reader dies and has to be revivified? And Astarion freaks out, like he goes semiferal and histerical?

Maybe it could be during the fight with his siblings at camp so now Cazador knows he has someone he holds dear (even if Astarion doesn't want to admit it yet) which is what they were trying to avoid?

Thank you so much!!!!

🗒 ꒰⸝⸝₊ All I Want ❛ ✧

Featuring: Astarion x Reader

Not proofread!

# Notes: I'm not too good with drabbles but I rly like this idea so I decided to try! also no use of "y/n" because I'll be honest I'm not a fan of it lmao

It was his idea to keep the relationship a secret.

He knew how that sounded — like he was ashamed of his partner, like he didn't want anyone to know for the sake of his reputation. That wasn't true, and he assured them of it. It was simply a precaution, something to protect them both. Now that they arrived at Baldur's Gate and are closer to Cazador than ever, he couldn't take any chances. Not when it came to them, at least.

He wasn't used to this — caring about someone other than himself. It was always about his survival, but now he had someone else to worry about. Someone whose life was worth a lot more than his own. Someone he couldn't afford to lose.

So, he kept it a secret. It wasn't exactly easy to go about their day pretending to be nothing more than companions, friends at most. Ever since they got together, he realized just how starved he was for any kind of attention, any kind of affection. Having to refrain from touching them too much or being his usual, flirty self hasn't been a simple feat. But he knew how important it was that they kept things under wraps.

His feet were killing him after a long day of adventuring, from Wyrm's Crossing all the way to the Lower City. At least they managed to avoid some confrontation for today, so he had one less thing to complain about. They got settled in an inn and he managed to sneak out for a few seconds with his partner to at least get a good night's kiss. He wanted more, but knew that would have to suffice.

The others had already fallen asleep, but he remained tossing and turning. Something felt off. He wasn't sure what, but his nerves were on end, like his fight or flight response had picked up on something he himself hadn't yet. Perhaps that was for the best, as it allowed him to notice the sound of footsteps early enough to stand up and grab a dagger. His hand shook slightly, wrapped around the handle of the weapon as two familiar faces walked in. He felt sick. He knew what they were here to do.

"Get the hells away from me!" It wasn't quite a yell, but definitely loud enough to wake the others. He instinctively took a few steps back, trying to maintain a distance far enough to deceive his brain into believing that he was somewhat safe. "Peace, brother. We're here to take you home." Aurelia uttered somewhat gently, but it almost made him puke. Brother. Home. Just the notion of it made him dizzy with disgust. The Szarr Palace wasn't his home, and these goons were not his family — he was tired of playing along with this fucked up game of pretend.

It didn't take long for a fight to break out, despite his attempts at deception. He should've known Cazador wouldn't let him off easy. Karlach was the first to react, letting out a guttural scream of rage as she charged at Violet. The axe cut through flesh before the spawn could realize what was happening, getting stuck where it met bone. She screamed, but was soon silenced by another blow. While it was supposed to be lethal, she simply vanished into a cloud of black smoke instead of dropping dead on the ground.

Leon was next, aiming for the person who was closest to where he stood which, to Astarion's despair, happened to be his darling. The spawn's claws slashed their skin open, blood splattering on the floor as they yelped in pain. Astarion didn't think — he simply acted, pouncing on Leon only to drive his dagger through his heart one, two, three times, until he too vanished into thin air. He snapped his head back in their direction just in time to see Yousen sneaking up, grabbing them from behind and sinking his teeth into their neck. The scream, the way their eyes squeezed shut in agony and their hands clawed against the spawn holding them still was enough to make Astarion see red.

He hardly remembered moving. But he did remember the screams. Not from his darling, but from his brother, as he drove the dagger into the side of his neck and twisted it. He looked back at his lover again, but the dark cloud from Yousen obscured his vision. He didn't hear screaming anymore. Only his ears ringing slightly and the sound of laboured breathing from his companions.

When he could finally see again, he almost wished he couldn't. That'd be better than the sight of his beloved's body sprawled out on the floor atop a pool of blood, their empty, cold eyes gazing into his soul. He rushed to their side despite his shaking legs, stumbling on his way there until he fell to his knees beside them. He raised their head by the back of their neck, resting it on top of his thigh. He hardly realized he was hyperventilating, hands shaking violently as he cradled one of their cheeks in his palm. "No, no... You can't die. Wake up, damn it!" He choked out, his voice rising from a whisper full of disbelief to a screech of the utmost despair.

Karlach too rushed to their side, fumbling with her bag with quivering hands. "H-Hold on, soldier, I think..." She stuttered out nervously before cutting herself off as she pulled a scroll of revivify from the bag. She knelt next to the two and placed the parchment atop the corpse's chest. It glowed a bright white light, seemingly seeping into their skin. There was a deafening silence for a few seconds when suddenly, they woke up with a loud gasp, eyes widening as life was brought back into their being.

The pale elf didn't waste a second before pulling them into a hug, not minding the blood staining his clothes. He hid his face in the crook of their neck, only a small sob and whisper being heard from him. "Oh, thank the gods... Please, please never do that again..." He choked out before pulling away from the embrace, cupping their cheek and pressing his lips against theirs. He never felt that before. That immense sense of hopelessness, agony and grief. Not to this level, not of this kind — and he'd make sure he never felt it again.

However, as he pulled away from the kiss, he saw something in the distance. Aurelia, bleeding out on the ground, watching them seconds before she too vanished into the darkness. If he still had a heart, it would have skipped a beat out of sheer terror alone. Cazador knew. He knew about his spawn's newfound love. And Astarion would have to be a fool not to expect his master to take advantage of that fact.

[musicalmoritz]

If Sakumei stay together and go further. What will their date and relationship belike? Family dynamics even (if they adopted kids)?

More on SakuMei! Alrighty so if they got back together I see them being much more mature and ready for a relationship than the first time around. It starts out very slow, they’re hesitant to get back together after what happened the first time. But since they’ve been friends for so long, they fall into a natural comfortability with one another

They enter a honeymoon phase, being the happiest they’ve ever been together. Their friends are happy to see them happy, although there’s some slight jealousy on Natsuhiko’s end. Mei is leaving the art room more and actually trying to enjoy her “life.” Sakura helps her work through her existential problems and figure out who and what she is. Mei helps Sakura make sense of their own feelings and learn how to express them. Instead of focusing so much on their own wants for a relationship, they focus on helping each other. And through that help, they both become comfortable expressing when they’re unhappy with something or want something in the relationship to change. Real healthy shit, we have left their toxic yuri days behind

As for the type of dates they go on, I think they’re very lowkey. They drink tea and read books in the broadcasting room, or in Sakura’s boundary. Due to the open space, their dates often turn into group hangouts, so if they want privacy it’s best to go to the art room or the library. The art room isn’t always safe as Nene and Tsukasa will barge in whenever they feel like it. But the library can get crowded too so really, this school is hell for these two introverts. They make it work though, once the students have cleared out it’s pretty vacant

If you haven’t noticed I’m a big filmbro and like to include movies in just about every fic I write. This is more of a Sakura/Natsuhiko thing but I apply it to other ships with them, I think Sakura would be rly into creepy/gory movies. They have tackled the Disturbing Movie Iceberg (I’m only two tiers down, I’m too sensitive to watch all that shit lmao) and like to make ppl watch gross movies with them. To Natsuhiko it’s a form of torture but Mei doesn’t care for fiction so she’s more indifferent (Ik a lot of the movies on the Iceberg are documentaries/home videos but shhhh we’re ignoring that for this). She complains but she doesn’t get scared or grossed out the way Natsuhiko does, it’s more that she’ll point out how unrealistic the special effects are and make fun of the bad writing. Bad movies are Sakura’s favorite though so they laugh along, that way they end up bonding over their judgemental natures. By the end, Mei might end up falling asleep on Sakura’s shoulder

Most of their dates involve them just sitting around and talking. They don’t always have to say something, but they can keep a conversation going very easily. Neither of them are that talkative in crowds but one-on-one they could yap for hours. Because of this they know each other super well, they’re able to keep up with each other’s interests and viewpoints. They get into deep, philosophical discussions often, which leads Sakura to lighten the mood with tea

Now let’s imagine them in another life where they’re both human and get to grow old together. OG Mei and No.4 Mei are twin sisters here bcuz I said so. I don’t see No.4 Mei doing art full time but she keeps it up as a hobby for whenever she’s stressed, partially because it’s something that connects her to Shijima. She would have an art room in her house full of paintings of Sakura and her family (credit to you for that hc lol). OG Mei absolutely becomes an art teacher tho. I could actually see No.4 Mei going into the medical field and becoming a doctor, since art isn’t really her thing I think she’d be more of a science person. There’s also more personal reasons for it, she wants to help kids that are going through what her sister went through

For Sakura it’s hard to say. I think they’d own some sort of gothic tea room. They sell tea there as well to make some extra income. Not that they need it with their rich doctor wife, but it’s a nice bonus. To commit to the bit they wear black vintage gowns to work every day. And their house is an old manor, funded mainly by the aforementioned doctor wife. One thing abt Sakura is they’re going to commit to an aesthetic. They host a lot of events at the tea room like murder mysteries/scavenger hunts, especially around Fall. Mei stops by each one to support her partner, and when she does she’s always the one to solve the mystery

They have a son, one of those cursed little Victorian boys. They also own an unreasonable amount of cats, all with very formal names. They’re very weird parents, but good ones. I’m getting Addams Family vibes. Mei also goes butch in the future so she can be the Gomez, trust. They encourage their son to learn healthy communication skills and take up hobbies so he can explore his interests and make friends. They’re also very loving towards one another, a very romantic couple. They end up having a wonderful life together, along with their son and many friends who crash the manor. Natsuhiko and Shijima pop in most often, along with Tsukasa and Aoi/Nene. On occasion Mitsuba will drag Kou up to visit but he always gets creeped out by the place. This would make a great family sitcom

Thank you for the ask mootie, I love talking abt SakuMei!!

[didderd]

are any of the boys particularly possessive?

nah. like i mentioned in th last ask i answered, they'r all poly. each of them are likely to have more than one person they'r with/they like, and they 100% dont mind if you do too. even better if you both like the same person.

tho all of them are likely to get protective, and if they don't trust someone you like or that likes you, they might come off possessive, but rly they just want to keep you safe.

some may be more protective than the others. Tac is the most protective, being from a fell au, and Tou is probably second on that scale (least of the ones i'v designed so far), tho Tou's a lot more trusting of people, so his protectiveness comes out more in the form of trying to keep you from doing dangerous things and trying to make sure you'r taking care of yourself. :>

probably the least protective is Snaps, but doesn't mean he's not. and when he does get protective against a person, that person's life may be in danger lmao

[ca-suffit]

So, I'm the anon that asked the "how do you rationalize the violence?" question, btw. Thank you for your answer. I personally believe 2x07's version of the events is closer to the truth (I don't think there's a POV that 100% accurate, but I think that's as accurate as it gets about it), but that doesn't excuse Lestat's violence. Louis might have provoked him, but he had just seen Claudia being chocked and stepped in to defend her. I don't blame him for lack of a better word, 'exploding'. I think I would've done worse if I saw my niece, that isn't even my own child, in that situation. And yes, Lestat has gone through a lot of trauma in the books and the show, and people can argue how that and being turned into a vampire shaped his mind and have this aggressive side he might not be proud of, but it doesn't excuse anything. Because Lestat himself caused a lot of trauma in both Claudia's and Louis' lives. I do hope if the show is going with a loustat endgame (haven't read the books, but from what I've heard, they're canon), they're gonna have Lestat using his infinite lifetime to reflect on that, really earn Louis' forgiveness, be the kind of companion he deserves and never even consider doing it again. If it's possible to redeem him. I don't know if it is, but at least they have the "they have all the time in the world to do that" card. I do hope they try it, though, because making this behavior normalized and recurring would be terrible. I just don't know if it will be convincing and satisfying, but I'll wait I guess. I hope the same for Armand too and that they give him and Assad the grace of flashing out the character instead of demonizing him to make Lestat look better. I hope they also know he'll need and deserve more from the narrative than a half-assed apology, because there will definitely be some double standards about Lestat and Armand. There already are. But I struggle with some other stuff too. Because I love Louis, but he's not innocent either. I also don't believe in punitivism and I don't want to be reducing him and feeding into people that want to stereotype and demonize him, but... Claudia really is the only character that has always been inferior in terms of power imbalances in the dynamics of the show. At least among the main characters. If we consider killing people to feed then it's basically useless because they're vampires and not even the human is innocent because Daniel didn't worry about Malik being lunch. I do think it's a good thing for Louis' accountability that he feels regret and remorse for his worst actions, but I don't believe the fandom does the best job at discussing that. Many times it feels like babying the white character, reducing the characters of color into racial stereotypes of abusive, comparing them, ignoring what's convenient to prop their favorite etc. Like one is always traumatized, misunderstood, trustworthy, ashamed, trying to be better and the other is always wrong, unreliable, overdramatic etc. There doesn't seem to be a lot of nuance on people's interpretations and a safe space to discuss the differences of each moment and dynamic without accidentally feeding characters you love to the lions... Anyway, I'm rambling at this point, I don't even know what I was trying to ask lmao. But thanks for the attention and the previous answer.

(context) u can ramble all u want here tbh.

there *are* a lot of questions to explore and this fandom makes it v hard to do it. despite what the racist side would have u believe, ur not going to get attacked for exploring questions. ppl know whether someone's being intentionally racist or not when trying to talk about these characters.

the thing that the fandom isn't understanding (on purpose) is that having black and brown characters have these complex personalities u can explore is a rly good thing?! racists want u to believe that there's topics we can't talk about bcuz of stuff like saying ppl "need" louis to be "a victim," but all that rly says is "I don't want to have empathy for black ppl but I'm gonna say it another way and blame others for it." nobody here is saying louis, claudia, or armand is off limits to exploring, just don't be fucking racist about it! ppl would rather run off and say the fandom is full of bullies who will call u racist instead of...looking at their own biases? half the time nobody is even saying the word "racist," these ppl apply that shit to themselves in a panic. it'd be funny if it wasn't so harmful.

things to ask urself here are....what is ur definition of "redeemable"? where does that belief come from in the first place? a religion? society? both? what is ur own relationship with abuse and trauma? have u explored what codependency looks like in real relationships? do u understand all the emotions behind these things the characters are doing? why is louis feeling regret and remorse important to u?

I think a lot of confusion and anger over the DV is that ppl only know of one response to it and that's to leave forever. a lot of society is built on v black and white thinking with no emphasis on forgiveness or growth. ofc nobody has to interact with anyone they don't want to or "owes" anyone forgiveness or help to rehabilitate and all that, but it doesn't change that the person themselves is capable of growing and changing. we tend to have strict ideas of what "abuser" and "victim" look like and don't realize how quickly those identities can switch on the same people. a lot of abusive behavior is learned from trauma and traumatized ppl tend to form relationships with each other and act just like these vampires do. it's hard to place anyone in single categories bcuz it's a spectrum. this is humanity reflected at us thru vampires.

all of these vampires carry their specific trauma and triggers and are living in ages where none of this even has been put into words yet, plus they're vampires on top of it. their rules *are* different from ours to an extent and a lot of it is bcuz they're also a v small group who is immortal. imagine someone u rly hate for having harmed u badly in some way (mentally and/or physically) and then imagine u knowing ur gonna run into them or hear their thoughts for the rest of eternity. are u supposed to kill them? could u live with that for eternity too? what if they're stronger than u? what if they read ur mind first and kill u instead? it's a lot to forever think about. idk what the show is going to do, but I have faith it'll be satisfying bcuz of knowing AMC's history with writing about traumatized ppl. Television has gotten rly good at writing about abuse and trauma in v nuanced ways. ppl tend to shy away from it tho bcuz they're not ready to confront these things in their own life and so they find an excuse to say it's bad. the racist side cannot get over calling it "shock value" even tho all the violence (physical, emotional, sexual) has been treated with great respect to the audience and characters. u see the violence move thru the characters, affect them for years, and nothing shown of the violence itself is meant to feel cheap and "shocking." these ppl simply do not want to engage so they find a reason to justify why and this story will never make sense to them bcuz of it.

[mailjeevasfan]

definitely self projecting but wammy boys + light or matsuda during their [b4 transtion] ftm boyfriend's period? like they try to help with the mood swings and dysphoria?

self projecting is my middle name no worries

sorry if a lot of these sounded similar i guess i just thought a lot of them would work in the same way

death note x m!reader

-mello, matt, near, l lawliet, light, matsuda

༺♡༻

dn boys helping trans boyfriend with dysphoria due to period ❦

mello

-i imagine him to be a very passionate person in relationships in general. so i think he is really going to do his best to empathise with you and genuinely reassure you that you’re valid no matter what. i also think he’d have a kind of tough love approach in general, not just here, so i think he’d be kind of blunt in reassuring you. however, if you are sensitive and emotional in the moment he’d learn to be more delicate with your feelings. side note : this is one of the only times he’d ever share his chocolate with someone lmao. this might come off rly stupid but it shows u how much he genuinely cares about making u feel better bc he’d do this for NO ONE

༺♡༻

matt

-he would remind you that this doesn’t define you and be very reassuring for a bit, but he’d try to take your mind off of it as well as possible. he’d get you anything you needed and then drop whatever he was doing to cuddle and watch a movie with you. he’d buy tons of snacks and just hold you for a while making sure you were comfortable and that you felt safe.

༺♡༻

near

-would maybe see it too logically instead of understanding your emotions more but he would still be very kind and understanding. he would get you whatever you said you needed and just make sure to stay close to you. he’d just sit next to you and stroke your hair, asking you very often if you needed anything.

༺♡༻

l lawliet

-giving you all of his snacks, sweets, cakes, you name it. he’d stay very close to you and be very physically affectionate, similar to near. if you needed time alone, that’s fine. as soon as you go back and ask him to stay with you, he’s right there. he’d probably drop all his work to make sure he was there for you

༺♡༻

light

-he’d probably ask you some questions about it and what causes you to feel the way you do. he’s very intelligent so he’d want to get to the very roots of the problem and help you through every step of it all. he would talk about the topic with you in detail to understand and then fully reassure you that you’re valid no matter what is going on

༺♡༻

matsuda

-probably just going to squeeze you so tight and not let you go. he will be very sweet in how he goes about comforting you, being very delicate around your feelings. he’d feel very appreciative knowing you opened up to him about it, as he gets how hard it must be. so he does everything he can to make sure you feel better. he would stick with you through it all

༺♡༻

[atalienart]

that sounds like a shit situation ❤️❤️ i don‘t think you‘re unlikeable though. it can be tough to keep in contact with people, and i think it‘s gotten harder over the last couple years for everyone (don‘t mean to minimize your specific situation). i think it could just be shit luck, but if it isn‘t, i don‘t think the problem lies deep within you or anything. i know it can feel like that though. there‘s nothing wrong with you as a person, you‘re not somehow fucked up. you‘re fine, i promise. people who talk like that (“you’re unlikeable”) are just mean because for some reason they either don‘t want to be better or they just don‘t know how to. either way, it doesn‘t sound like they put a lot of effort into building that opinion, so personally, i would dismiss it (i know that can be really hard to do though). it’s not exactly constructive. it sounds like plain petty and bitter bullshit tbh lol.

even though i found some friends for life during school, after moving away from each other, it‘s been hard to keep in touch. two of them are just dogshit at texting lmao, and one is great but doesn‘t have much time for actually substantial contact, like phone calls or visits. what i‘ve found to be integral is all of it, sadly lmao. it‘s rly hard when life is happening for everyone and bigger projects take up time and energy, it‘s been a struggle to trust that we‘re still friends despite little active friendship happening, but it‘s worth it. i don‘t know anything about your specific situation, but open communication is always a banger. if you have people you want to keep in your life, you gotta tell em. again, i don‘t know if you have and it just wasn‘t mutual. i just wanna help somehow because you seem hurt and i know that and it sucks but it‘s hard to go off of so little info. anyway. baring your soul be scary as hell but everyone has one, and usually being brave enough to do it first makes people feel safe to do it back. i recommend trying it. i also highly recommend not declaring a friendship / any relationship lost because of a potentially temporary loss of contact. people withdraw from their social circles all the time bc something in their life is stressing them out, and a lot of the time people aren‘t opposed to contact with someone, they just don‘t know how to approach them because maybe they thought they‘re sending signals that they‘re not that interested, or they‘re just plain anxious. shy. if you want a relationship to grow and develop and become stronger, if you want to build a bond, i recommend getting into the habit of making the first step. i KNOW that can be really hard lmao, the first time i tried to meaningfully reach out to someone i wasn‘t already close with it took me literal months lmfao. but i did it! and you can do it too. you really absolutely can.

idk. i think the most important thing is to be openly affectionate and let people know, even just in small ways! in can be said so so casually, you can just mention that sitting down for coffee or smth is such a nice calm moment in your otherwise busy day. or customize that to fit you however you want! just let people know that it‘s fun to spend time with them. they‘re probably just as shy and insecure as you. just small things to make them feel valuable and appreciated, so that they can understand that they really are, yknow? basically just— everything you‘d want them to do for you, you gotta do for them! and they‘ll likely happily return the favor :‘) if not, that‘s tough, but you guys not being a match doesn‘t mean other people won‘t be!

i find it hard to make new friends too. i moved away from my school friends and sttttruuuuggglllleeed for a while to make new friends here, i‘m just coming out of a shit shit fucking shit period in my life so i still don‘t have any, despite having talked with and sort of started the process of building a friendship with a few. nothing lasted for me either, and i thought it was because there‘s something wrong with me too. that‘s bullshit though, for me as for you, and i gotta try again and be calm and trust that it‘s gonna work eventually, because people do want to be friends, and if you can manage not to make yourself crazy with worry about it, then it‘s just gonna go along rather smoothly and just be fun.

i hope you can believe that, but i know i would have found it hard a year ago. it‘s true though. it could be that you‘re a rarer personality hehe, i still feel like that myself lol. but that doesn‘t mean you won‘t find your people. and if you meet someone you like, i hope you can have the courage to take the first step whenever it‘s needed. if you start like that, they‘ll likely follow and take the first step towards you when you can‘t :‘)

people generally like friendship and want to make friends. you‘re not any less suited for the job than anybody else. it takes a bit of effort though, sometimes a lot. but you can do it :‘)

i hope you feel better soon, and i really hope this isn‘t preachy and obnoxious. :|

Hey, thanks for the message. I'm sorry to hear you struggle with finding your people. But even if it's hard, I'm happy to hear that you still have someone you keep in touch with. Also, I think you're really amazing being so active in building relationships, hope it turns into something great for you one day and you find many valuable friendships. You sound like really cool, smart person ❤️

You're very kind but I think my situation really is my fault. I try, but I believe I'm just tiresome after a while. Besides, even when I do my best to communicate clearly (I really do) it seems I always end up saying or doing something wrong. I guess the braver people choose to look past my weirdness but at some point they realise it's not worth it. And I'm not saying that to sound quirky, it's just that when people constantly look at you like you're a different species and tell you you're weird you start to notice you're the odd one out xD I really don't expect people to always be there for me, I just hope for some conversation from time to time, some texting, nothing more. (And I think unless something really serious is going on in your life you can find time to answer a text from someone you say you like/see as a friend.) I really admire you for reaching out to others just like that, I always have a feeling I'm a bother. It doesn't help that initial small talk is extremely hard form me, it takes a lot of energy and brain power from me Anyway, at this point I think I'm the one who doesn't want to make friends anymore. I already gave up on trying to do that irl, it's like "level impossible" because apart from horrible personality I'm additionally very visually unappealing xD But in general, I think it would be safer to not expect anything from anyone. It's always like "hey, maybe they really do enjoy talking to me" and then it's like "nope, never mind, you really do suck". I don't need that reminder every couple years xD I'm old and tired. Anyway, don't worry, I'll be fine. I just haven't got enough sleep and I've been stressed lately, that's why I'm whining. I know I shouldn't do that on social media but here we go lol. Hugs for you!

[gentlehue]

hey cyn! you’re probs not awake rn but i wanted to ask if you had any makeup tips or products you would recommend cause i have decided that this year is the year im wearing makeup. just wish i came to this decision 2 months ago ago when i had time to practice and not two days😔

HIII !!! omg ive been experimenting with makeup for quite a while now and have gone thru all the awkward stages so i def have a lot of thoughts LOL

since you're just starting out and you only have 2 days, i'd recommend starting with the basics aka blush, mascara and a lippie (+ concealer as a bonus step if you wanna use it!!) i feel like these three are the makeup products that REALLY make a difference and theyre also the easiest to use 😊 (also this is lit my makeup routine if u just add highlighter LOL)

for blush i like to do rare beauty liquid blush in "believe" and then top that off with kiko unlimited blush in what i think is shade 05 LOL it rubbed off the packaging 😫 but im extra and have a fear of the blush wearing off just one blush will do! id start with powder blush since thats easier to use imo 😋

i rly like pinky brown colours in my makeup since i feel like thats what suits my skin best but make sure to find what looks best on you!

for mascara maybelline sky high is my holy grail fr its the one tt product that truly lives up to the hype 😫 if you dont wanna do mascara but still wanna give your lashes Something then do some vaseline on a spoolie !! i love doing this in the summer or when im not in the mood to take mascara off when i get home LMAO it gives them a nice lift imo 😚

lippies are SO fun i feel like i cant recommend a specific one because i switch it up all the time, but atm my fave is maybelline lifter gloss in shade 005 petal!! i also rly like the summer fridays lip butter balm in vanilla beige!! if you dont wanna do a coloured lip, you can always get a clear lip gloss:) the one by essence is rly nice imo 🤔

start out with cheaper/drugstore brands to experiment with, then move on to high end if thats something you wanna do!! but dont get high end straight away cz if you dont like it it wouldve been a waste of a lot of money 😭 there are so many cheaper brands out there:)

remember that it'll take time to find exactly what you like!! embrace the journey and enjoy it instead of just trying to rush through it ☺️ also if youre someone with sensitive skin, def pay attention to if a product is safe for that and stop using it if you get any sort of bad reaction! i dont have any sensitive skin recs because i dont have sensitive skin 😣 just stay safe!!!

TAKE YOUR MAKEUP OFF WHEN YOURE DONE W IT!!!! so your skin can stay nice n healthy <3 make sure to do this very thoroughly so theres no residue whatsoever

i hope this helped cutie!!! 💘

[liloinkoink]

Can u plz explain the treebark yellow rose au?

Or tag me in a post that explains it? 💚💛❤️

I’m intrigued but I don’t rly understand it

sure! i can try!

hmmm. Ren and Martyn are a superhero duo, Frostburn and Rose. they’ve been doing their thing together for about a year, but recently, things have gotten a bit… strained

i’m. putting this under a cut bc it got long. there’s something wrong with us

this got referenced briefly in House Fire, but their world’s a little short of 20 years out from a poorly-understood Catastrophic Event. it wiped a lot of cities off the map and caused strange powers to develop in some survivors. with the world in chaos, a lot of ppl with newfound powers started causing problems, which lead to a rise in both villains and heroes to stop them

Ren’s got temperature control based powers (which allows him to use both fire and ice) as well as enhanced healing. Martyn has… nothing, but a lifelong interest in robotics means he’s made himself some gadgets that protect him and allow him to fight (such as his suit, which is insulated to protect him from Ren freezing/burning him)

we have a lot of backstory stuff for both of them (esp Martyn. i’m so invested in his backstory) but it doesn’t rlly matter for this question. what matters is they become friends when they’re about 9 and are afterwards inseparable. they end up living together, and during that time Ren takes up heroism. Martyn figures him out and joins him, bc Ren is his best friend and he doesn’t want Ren risking his life alone

it works out fine for a bit, at some unspecified point before House Fire, Martyn gets injured in some fight bc whoever they’re fighting figures that’ll hurt Ren even if they can’t Physically hurt Ren, and Ren sort of panics. so he starts benching Martyn. he wants to take on all the difficult stuff himself so that Martyn stays safe. if someone throws a car at Frostburn, after all, he’ll walk it off. if someone throws a car at Rose…. well, Ren doesn’t want to find out!

Martyn takes this poorly. he’s pretty mad about it. he feels pretty pathetic and kind of useless. Ren benching him is embarrassing and it scares him. he just doesn’t want Ren out there alone. but he’s Martyn, so rather than say any of this TO Ren, he just mopes and complains out loud to himself when Ren walks off.

on one such occasion, Martyn isn’t actually alone. he gets approached by a man who claims to be a civilian that Rose helped, who overheard Rose’s predicament and who thinks he can help. his name is Doc (vtuber doc, from martyn’s lore, not docm77—we’ve been calling him docv to distinguish him lmao) and and he studies powers

Docv gives Martyn a card and an address. he says if Rose is willing to help him, he’ll help Rose prove to Frostburn that Rose is strong. if Rose wants powers, Docv will give him powers—he has all these abilities in reserve, but hasn’t had a chance to test how well they work. if Rose will help Docv with his research by using these powers and reporting back, Docv will give him full access to using them

Martyn doesn’t go immediately, but w Ren repeatedly benching him whenever things seem hairy, he’s got time to decide. eventually, he goes to Docv’s lab, and Docv explains his research and his plan

Docv can give people powers temporarily. he can give some to Martyn, and then Martyn can use them to prove to Frostburn how strong he is. how? Martyn takes on a villain persona, and he takes on Frostburn. if his villain persona wins, then Frostburn will have to see how strong Martyn is, and he’ll stop benching him. Docv gives Martyn powers, an injector he can wear to administer them to himself, an alternate conscience, and even a Martyn suit to protect him and enhance his strength (also it does some other stuff don’t worry about it). (the suit, which Martyn wears under the Thorn costume, is the fourth one in cherri’s design lineup for these guys. don’t worry abt why it’s labeled “test rat” that’s probably fine)

Martyn has to keep his identity as Thorn a secret from Ren, of course, but it won’t be hard—Ren is rarely home anymore.

Docv only asks one thing in return. he’s very interested in Frostburn’s powers. when Martyn/Thorn beats Frostburn, Docv requests Martyn bring him back to the lab so Docv can take a look, as payment for Docv’s help. Frostburn’s one of the city’s strongest heroes, after all, surely bringing him in the least Martyn can do for Docv

i think that about catches up to the fic that’s published? i don’t know if this made sense lmao feel free to ask any follow up questions if needed

[pretty-little-martyr]

still thinking just a little abt yesterday when I, the only trans man in a room of cis people + one of my other nonbinary friends, had to explain to the cis people that No, they/them'ing someone isnt Always the "safe" option, solely because one of them noticed my they/them pin below my he/him pin and was like "oh you use those too? should i use that for you?" and when i said i do prefer he/him it was somehow a massive confusion for all of them. they were all like, isnt they/them better, and safer? and i had to patiently explain that yes if you don't know someone it is safer than just assuming, but after someone has informed you, it is not. the "safer" option. you need to remember what they actually like being called. and not just put them in a third category if their pronouns dont align with their face by your perception.

i do use he/they, weighted on the He side, but i dont mind a little They every now and then. but because im living in florida i p much only introduce myself with he/him, and honestly, even in more liberal circles, i would get only they/them if i didnt, because i didnt align with the group culture's view of what a man really looks like. i dont pass, i have little interest in the concept, my gender is faggot and in a lot of spaces my femme-masc blend often gets flagged as Womanly in some manner. if i dont have my mustache out, i get she/her'd, which, i mask all of the time when im in public unless im outdoors (too hot, where i live), so that's pretty frequent, but even in spaces where i looked more masculine id still get they/them'd.

i think we rly gotta bring the concept of degendering to The Cis:tm: since they have some kind of grasp on misgendering now, but seem to somehow not really recognize that stripping someone of gender altogether can be just as rude and hurtful. and the discussion i had--which was very, very awkward, i am still getting used to speaking openly about being a trans man, so used to spaces where either the trans part puts me in danger or the man part puts me at risk of being pitched out--is proof that they can understand these concepts as i managed to impress upon them that if someone asks you to use alternating pronouns, or tells you you can use 2 sets but they prefer 1 more than the other, you should listen to them and give it a try, even if its a little difficult for you (a lot of people get confused with pronoun-switches, ive found). and i impressed upon them that they/them is not always the safer option and can sometimes be rather rude as well.

jsut still something that im sitting with as one of my cis friends so confidently said they/them is always the safer option, and also, now im wondering how many of these people will switch to predominantly they/them'ing me, now that they technically "have permission" or whatever

(my nb friend helped me explain shit also shes great, but the group was primarily asking me, not them. for some reason lmao.)

[inkykeiji]

CLARI BBY WHEN ARE WE GETTING A NEW GOJO FIC?

HEHEHE I DUNNO ANON BB uhhh i’ll probably feel like working on it when season two starts airing!!! i have a great idea for a gojo fic that i love so much that i definitely do want to finish,,, at some point,,,,,, hoping seeing him animated again will help motivate me to get it done!

[broodsys]

garden updateee (long post lmao)

peach tree first:

have harvested upwards of 50 peaches from it. have invited the neighbors to freely take peaches (don't think they have tho). have given peaches to my brother. so many are getting partly eaten by critters (i don't mind this)

probably have an additional 30-40 in the worm bin (partly eaten ones, gloopy ones, ones that were seriously damaged early on, etc)

ended up with two gallon bags full - and i mean full - of frozen peach slices and a good bit of peach sauce (well, i call it that, but it's really just cooked down/pureed peaches and a bit of sugar. it's good!)

could i have been more productive with it? yeah! however! wasn't expecting this at all! i cannot stress enough how much of a surprise this has been

after all the peaches have been harvested im gonna trim this poor tree down so hard. bc at present it isn't just bowing a bit under the weight, the main trunk goes up and up... and then starts coming sharply back down. roughly like so:

except with a lot more branches and all but yeah not actually drawing this lmao.

gonna try to espalier it a bit. there are lower branches that i'm going to be keeping and hopefully i can get some wire or something to give it some support, bc clearly during growing and harvest seasons it's gonna need that support. but i'm taking the height off... again, lmao. i've already done this!!!! it is growing so much

however, i think i know why. about midway through last year, we moved the worm bin over near it. and the worm bin has holes drilled in the bottom. so all those nutrients have been sinking into the soil and i think the peach tree was just like oh? nutrience? for me??? and went apeshit lmao

other garden news:

although i've mostly been talking about the peach tree, many things are going above and beyond. the rose bush out front is covered with rose hips that are probably about as wide as a half dollar? and it's grown to about halfway up the second floor. ridiculous. some of the canes are easily as wide as a quarter

we also have a grape. idk what type bc like the smartest person imaginable, i lost the tag. also i don't think it's ever gonna fruit but that is okay bc it is a sprawling beast and beautiful and it is sending vines up that are on the first floor roof

a lot of plants i have mostly to control temperatures indoors. so the rose bush covers the front of the house and some of the dark roof shingles, while the mystery tree and grape cover another part of the house. i was letting the peach tree get a bit taller to become a shade tree since it wasn't seeming to bear (but still not ridiculously tall!) but uh. A Mistake 😂

currently in the process of getting one of the many many manyyyy marionberry canes to root so that i can plant some in the backyard. it's very well established along the side yard and we get a ton of fruit from it, so why not just keep it going?

and we have a nectarine tree out back that's in its.... hmm. second or third year, but i think second. it's older than that, but in terms of being in our garden. so it's not bearing yet, no real surprise, and it's having some of the same issues the peach tree originally had, but the peach tree is no longer afflicted so i suspect the nectarine will end up okay as well

gonna be repositioning the metal gazebo frame (canvas top long since destroyed) into the center of the yard so that we can safely hang a new tarp from it and provide some central shade. looking forward to that, altho it'll be a lot of work. been using the water i saved up all during the rainy season and so far i still have a lot, which is nice - been doing a lot of water-wise planting and letting things get their own water and all. i've managed to keep the bucket pond going even tho the plastic is starting to crack and i'm dreading the eventual day the whole thing goes... sm life in there

but it's cracking bc the winters are getting so cold that the water freezes several inches down and expands, so it's like... rly tricky to deal with? debating about getting a solar powered water bubbler for it. just smth to keep the water moving a little bit and hopefully prevent it from freezing sm

i have mulched a tremendous amount this year, as i usually do. countless cardboard boxes - only plain ones, or ones with dyed parts removed, and always removing all the tape. forever trying to reuse stuff. there are still problem areas in the back and front yards, but some can't really be dealt with - like we have a lot of stray cats in the area and they sure do like to use yards as litter boxes 🙃like they're just gonna be here, it's a thing, but it does mean taking that into consideration wrt what/how we grow things

i keep getting frustrated and sad with how many things are dying out there but like. yeah. it's gonna happen. a) transplant shock is a thing, no matter how careful i try to be, b) it's hard to tell how heavily i should water things tbph, c) our soil is different all over the place, and the soil out front is very poor - which some things prefer! but definitely not all, and d) climate change. even hardy natives aren't necessarily hardy anymore, and over time native ranges seem to be shifting, so it's difficult

but i'm trying to not focus sm on what's dying and more on what's thriving, bc a bunch of stuff is :')

[coredrill]

okaaaaaaaaay bravernine thoughts. lol (lots of lulu)

i have never been more intrigued and confused and clueless abt where this show is going to go and i am HOOKED. i called my one (1) shot in abt smith dying in ep8 and so now i am just along for the wacky ride until the end!!!!!!!!!! also my understanding of time travel stories is very poor compared to my understanding of wow cool robot stories so that is undoubtedly a part of it FNDNFBJD

i’ll probs catch more on a rewatch and others have pointed this out but. it seemed like the “timeline” changed right when we got the ep1 flashback/eyecatch? like that’s when hibiki’s arm wound vanished and switched to her head, and wehn we saw hiro again, and also lulu’s demeanor switched from being sad to more determined? so like. i wouldn’t be surprised if lulu shenanigans happened as well in that time…………

also lulu. obviously bravern is smith + knuth + brainwave bot but i would NOT be surprised if there was some of lulu in there too. since her brainwaves were in there too? which would make sense as another ingredient in the bravern soup, if he gets his clinginess and more childish demeanor from her in addition to his horniness from knuth and his heroic attitude and love for isami from smith. which is maybe why, after the “timeline switch” i just mentioned (idk what else to call it) lulu suddenly Knows Smith’s In There in a way she didn’t SEEM to before? like she called bravern “smith” ofc but this was like. deliberate in a different manner imo. idk. lulu is up to Some Shit tho and like everthing else i am SOOOOOOOOOO excited to see it !!!!!!!!!!!!

i know i keep making haha funnies abt smith trying to outgay kaworu and like. when it comes to queers in mecha anime i rly don’t think anything can reasonably “outdo” eva due to its impact (heh) and the fact kaworu and shinji did all that in 1996 but like. lewis smith is putting in the bravest effort i’ve seen by a LONG shot……………….what if that tokubro u met in hawaii loved you so much he became your undead horny super robot soulmate (“hey tumblr user coredrill what if you stopped beating this joke format to death” LISTEN i think its funny still. lmao)

hmmmmm i feel like i had more to say but. i forgor lmao. surely this won’t be like every other week where i am like “these are all of my thoughts 😇” and then i continue to make AND ANOTHER THING posts every 3 hours like clockwork. surely things will be different this time. surely i am not also stuck in a timelo

OH WAIT I REMEMBERED. but yeah i was just thinking abt how like. smith gets so fucking angry abt how the lulu are used and so when he contributes to bravern he makes it so that isami can pilot him safely. and not a lulu-pod-scenario. because he loves lulu and he loves isami. i am going to tear my skin off of my own body

[marzipanparty]

hewwwooo i posted all these on twitter first but yea i made this bc robo sweats rly hard when they get pokemon related asks about their characters and i’m a mf who loves pokemon way too much not to have pokemon headcanons about said characters 👍👍 i’ll put my headcanons in the read more!

Quest & Lucario- there really wasn’t a better pick in my mind for our emotionally intelligent, tough, blue-coded, dog-loving love interest than a blue dog that can shatter boulders with its fists of steel and read the auras of living beings. And bc lucario can read its trainer’s emotions i think it’d be a good therapy dog for quest! I personally like think that quest would’ve found lucario as a little rilou like how he finds the puppy in the game’s good end extra for him.

NakedToaster & Totodile- so i picked shiny totodile bc it’s green little reptile just like a certain cryptid green lizard mascot in bloomic LOL… but i also oddly i think they’d have a cute dynamic together?? Chill toaster would take great care of their excitable little chompy gremlin 🥺 and let them play games on their phone like in this pkemon movie screenshot 😭

BUT! I also want to mention another headcanon that before Toaster had totodile, he had a Porygon-Z that disappeared and learned how to talk. This talking porygon-z being Bloombot 👍

xyx & Alolan Meowth- obviously i had to pick a cat pokemon as a stand in for xyx’s actual cat. I chose alolan meowth specifically bc the pokedex mentions these meowths being especially cunning and intelligent, and i’d like to think these two would affectionately try to pull pranks and one-up each other constantly. But they love each first and foremost!! And if those two smarmy assholes ever decide to team up pull a prank on someone else, god save that poor soul LMAO

Nightowl & Sylveon- i’d like to think nightowl had an eevee since childhood! Eevee also evolves into sylveon with high friendship/affection and i think nightowl would certainly be able to do that LOL although having such a girly looking pokemon would probably rly piss his mom off and would probably threaten to take it away from him 😢 but i think he would manage to keep it safe and bring it to college with him. The pokedex also mentions that sylveon’s ribbon feelers emit a calming aura and so it would be a rly great emotional support pokemon for poor nightowl 💖🥺

June & Politoed- cute frog girl gets cute frog pokemon EASY. but yea there are a few frog-like pokemon to choose from but i ultimately choose politoed bc the simple water typing and cute design felt the best for June 👍 i did briefly consider Bellibolt but i felt the electric sub-typing didn’t suit her 🤔 i’d definitely pick it if i was choosing full teams than one partner tho

Two2 & Yamper- i vaguely remember it being mentioned that Two has a little dog like in their pfp! And pokemon has a lot of dog pokemon to choose from 😅 but i ultimately picked yamper bc i like the idea of anxious and skittish Two with a very friendly and zippy little dog! Yamper never fails to cheer up Two 🥹 also i personally think the electric typing suits Two as well

BigLady & Tsareena- two boss queens being boss queens together 👏👑 i think Lady would have gotten tsareena as a little bounsweet not thinking too much about it and be pleasantly surprised as it evolved! Tsareena has a grass/fighting typing and stomps the shit out of things with its powerful legs, so i think it suits our beautiful and strong Lady 💖💪

Salocin & Nidoking- i personally think Salo and his late wife would be one of those double battle couples with their matching Nidoking and Nidoqueen respectively! After his wife passes tho he’d keep nidoqueen since it’s also his nidoking’s partner 🥺 i also think nidoking’s ground typing fits salo pretty nicely. Another headcanon i have is that his new partner Mara would have a cute normal type pokemon like a minccino!

Onionthief & Venusaur- i originally was going to have a just a bulbasaur as onion’s partner bc it’s more onion-shaped, but i ultimately decided that onion would be the type to fully evolve his pokemon. He’d definitely have his venusaur since it was a wee little bulbasaur tho, they are lifelong partners! Venusaur would definitely help take care of onion’s siblings, and play with them by letting them climb all over it and picking them up with its vine whip 😭

[possibilistfanfiction]

hi i just wanted to say thank you for writing about queerness the way that you do - it’s incredible and has been immensely helpful to me lately. like i’ve agonized over wanting a haircut and a binder and to change my pronouns and have never had the courage to do anything about it, but reading your stuff is making me want to go through with it all. i had to pause a few times as i read your most recent piece (ava’s pov of butch bea) because i was overwhelmed with relief seeing ava and bea want that stuff too. i didn’t realize wanting it could feel so freeing. like i’ve never seen queer people written like that before, and never knew i needed to see it until now. it’s helped me feel okay about wanting the aforementioned things, and also okay about not knowing what i want or how i want to be. all around your fics are so healing and enlightening as far as gender and sexuality go, and gender and sexuality aside they are also flat out masterpieces. i cannot even begin to describe how much they, as well as your other posts on the subject, mean to me. thank you so much

:) thank u!

& i will say that i have spent the better part of the last 15 or so years just vibrating around trying to figure out what makes me feel good, especially in my body & how others perceive it. which is really hard! but trying stuff rocks — i figured out i wanted top surgery but not to transition in other medical ways bc i got a binder! the peace i felt with one felt right, & then i got to explore from there. i have had … so many haircuts lol & most of them have been good! (imo everyone deserves to buzz their hair at least once & just. deal with it lmao. a rite of passage.) now i don’t give a fuck about “what side of the store” clothes are on bc i know exactly what i want clothes to fit & feel like, & i have a tailor, so i just pay more attention to fit & fabric than i do any “men’s” or “women’s” demarcations, especially when most of the places i shop are mostly just vaguely androgynous earth tones anyway lol.

(of course this is with the caveat that there’s enough safety/financial stability but) try everything! especially stuff that’s not at all permanent!

there’s no way i would know what makes me happy & peaceful now if i didn’t try stuff in the past! do i want to wear button downs & chinos & have ppl call me sir?? no i would rather pErish. but did i always know that! of course not, & i got to have the space to try how that would feel. i definitely also know that i never want people to think i’m straight (lol but ppl are stubborn); i had a weird summer bc my hair was rly long, which i loved, but then started to feel just dissonant about… occasionally a little panicked by? (in addition to some transphobic nonsense thru work, which ofc doesn’t help). but once i sat down & was like what the fuck is going on — & felt safe enough to just sit for DAYS in dysphoria to try to figure out the root of it — i was like oh ok cool, easy, i can fix this. i knew i didn’t want to cut my hair rly short again (probably never again or at least for a Long Time, i don’t like ppl thinking i’m a man), but i didn’t wanna keep it long, so i was like ok great, stupid masc bob here we come, & my hairstylist is queer & has a soft butch wife, so i was set lol. but without getting to have space for the past decade to just try things, & to learn how to sit in dysphoria thru therapy rather than just Run Away from the feeling every time, that would’ve been a lot harder to navigate. i used to be VERY adamant abt they/them pronouns but i don’t feel that way anymore, & nothing earth shattering happened or has happened, i just… don’t care. i care more abt my privacy & agency than abt disclosing identity & experience than i do a pronoun, & so i get to make that choice whenever i want, which has been rly wonderful. & getting to try things will help you learn where ur most comfortable, especially as u continue to grow & change.

& like… it’s fun! queerness is so fun! i think beas queerness is fairly ~fraught~ canonically for obvious reasons but in any universe it’s nice to just let her take a fucking breath. kiss a girl, put on a hoodie, cut your hair, take a nap by the beach. it’s not so serious, not all the time. & ava is just FUN, her queerness is so so bright. to me it’s always just seemed like she was never Not queer bc ava has so much life to live & so so much to discover abt herself & the world. she’s falling in love with everything all the time, & with Wonder! & of course that includes queerness! it’s at the center of it bc it’s who you are & who you love, but it’s also just… people, & connection. i used to write rly angsty shit abt being queer & in moments of indulgence i do still enjoy a romp ofc to flex those wow sin & hell & an orgasm being so holy muscles lol, but queerness is my everyday life, & it shows up in the soft happy places more than anywhere else.

anyway, try everything!! especially a binder (bind safely!!!!!) & pronouns, even just online or w a few of ur ppl. if there’s a word you like for your identity, try writing it somewhere or just telling a friend (i texted my best friend that i liked the word ‘dyke’ a lot after having made ‘dyke on main’ jokes abt myself for ten years … we both just laughed). & of course haircuts & clothes are so fun, & they should get to be fun!

but even beyond that (& part of why i think ppl like reading stuff i write, maybe?) is that like so much healing for me in pleasure & peace in my queerness is so tied up in those same feelings abt … everything. food! sex! moving my body! my home! small acts of service! luxury! softness! skincare! the ocean! like whew, waking up & being like this brings me quiet joy, mary oliver was RIGHT, just lets the whole world kinda shimmer. not loudly, not in any remarkable way, but eating good food & having a good beer with someone who sees you for who you are; fresh flowers in the vase; LINEN PANTS; the dog asleep at your feet — all of those things to me are both queer & holy, inextricably together in my life. my wife’s queerness is very compatible w her religion & spirituality, & that’s rly rly beautiful to get to be around. queerness is abt deep care, too, in small ways: checking up on a friend after top surgery, still masking indoors, keeping my dog on lead unless i know her recall will be perfect. it shapes every part of my life. to me the mundane is the most glorious thing, & i have figured things that i love bc, for as scary as trying stuff can be (what if people see me? what if i hate it?) — you know, the most important question: what if you love it?