#maybe this is something to bring up in therapy
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wisterianightmare · 1 day ago
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It may also be worth noting that it’s often very difficult to see something that you’re standing too close to. Just because you aren’t placing motifs intentionally or aren’t able to notice patterns in your own writing doesn’t mean that they don’t exist there.
If you don’t mind an anecdotal example, I often bring up minor details of the stories I’m working on in therapy to illustrate and contextualize the struggles that I’m having with skill regression. After self-consciously referring to my current wip as my “silly little self-indulgent fanfic” my therapist gave me the look and firmly explained that I was exploring complex traumas and themes of grief using plot devices that directly mirror my experiences with chronic pain, and that sure: maybe my skills have regressed and the art isn’t as artful, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t deep. I can’t see the forest from within the mass of trees, but that doesn’t mean my readers aren’t astute enough to get the message. And there was, in fact, a message.
You’re right, though. It’s ok if there isn’t. Writing doesn’t require prerequisites. Meaning and morals and nuance really are optional in something you’re doing for yourself, and a hobby should be something you enjoy. But I don’t want anyone to think that their words don’t have meaning. Even in its simplest, most saccharine self-indulgent forms, your writing is meaningful. If it is something you choose to share, there is someone out there who will find something of value in it. You said it yourself OP: you are merging words into worlds. That’s poignant. It means something.
I was kinda upset earlier that most of my stories I have in my drafts don't have any kind of meaning or overall message, then I had to remind myself that I do this for fun and for me. This is my free time that I use to merge words together into worlds
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winisayswhat · 15 hours ago
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Who is secretly competing with you ? Why? [Short PAC]
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This isn’t a prediction. It’s not therapy. It’s just a mirror,meant to help you pause and listen to yourself. If something resonates, hold it close. If it doesn’t, let it go. You’re the one in charge. Always.
God Bless !
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Masterlist
Paid read
Customized moodboard
Customized moodboard part 2
Divider-@uzmacchiato
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Pile 1
"This reading is just a quick peek into where you’re at. If something feels right, there’s probably more to know. A personal reading can give you even more clarity straight to the heart of what you’re dealing with. If you’re curious to see what comes up for you, I’d love to help you explore."
This person is probably close in age or just a little younger. They don’t come off as aggressive necesserily ,they may even act friendly ,but something’s off for sure. They’re the type to watch everything you do without saying much or letting other or you know . You might not talk often, but then they’re keeping tabs. They notice your wins, your moves, your style , new makeup , hairstyle , people you hangout with and they take mental notes.
Why are they competing?
There’s some kind of obsession here. They’re caught in a loop of comparison and it’s wearing on them. You seem to do well in areas where they feel stuck , or where they lack or are trying to succeed ,maybe it’s your confidence, your relationships, or how people respond to you.They’re not really thinking about their own path. They’re just trying to stay one step ahead of you, even in subtle ways. It’s exhausting to watch but they can’t help themselves. It's like a bad habit they've gotten used to .
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for being here ,it means more than you know!
if you’d like to support me, you can: ♡Book a reading (they're detailed, gentle, and full of care) ♡ Send a tiny donation even a little helps a lot ♡ Or just leave a kind comment or reblog , it really keeps me going
Whatever you choose, just know i’m really grateful. your support helps me keep doing what i love, and sharing magic with you 🌷🕊️
Sending you soft hugs and good energy always ♡
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PILE 2
"This reading is just a quick peek into where you’re at. If something feels right, there’s probably more to know. A personal reading can give you even more clarity straight to the heart of what you’re dealing with. If you’re curious to see what comes up for you, I’d love to help you explore."
This is someone you’ve been close with for sure , a friend, maybe someone in your circle right now,collegue?. She’s confident, used to attention, and usually comes off strong. Around you, though, her energy shifts. She might act supportive, but it doesn’t feel real at all. She watches how people react to you and may try to outshine you without making it obvious.
Why are they competing?
She feels like you’re taking up space that she used to own. Maybe you’ve grown in ways she didn’t expect. There is jealousy she’s not talking about, and she’s playing little games. She might be very subtle with it ,downplaying your wins, bringing up your mistakes(secretly but infront of people with power , boos?lecturer?) , or trying to one-up you in conversations. She wants to stay in the spotlight, and you make that harder for her.
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for being here ,it means more than you know!
if you’d like to support me, you can: ♡Book a reading (they're detailed, gentle, and full of care) ♡ Send a tiny donation even a little helps a lot ♡ Or just leave a kind comment or reblog , it really keeps me going
Whatever you choose, just know i’m really grateful. your support helps me keep doing what i love, and sharing magic with you 🌷🕊️
Sending you soft hugs and good energy always ♡
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PILE 3
"This reading is just a quick peek into where you’re at. If something feels right, there’s probably more to know. A personal reading can give you even more clarity straight to the heart of what you’re dealing with. If you’re curious to see what comes up for you, I’d love to help you explore."
This person is very driven and stays busy possibly someone you work with or who’s in a similar field. They might be older or more experienced, but they’ve got their eye on you(INTENSE, like I felt it). They’ve built their life with discipline and effort, and while they don’t talk much about it, they’re paying attention to how you move. There’s some quiet tension there.
Why are they competing?
They’ve worked hard for everything they have, and it’s frustrating for them to see you doing well without what they consider the same struggle. To them, you come across as natural ! someone who draws things/people/opportunities in without trying. That makes them feel overlooked or ignore . They’re not out to hurt you, but they want to prove their way matters too ! and they’re using you as the measuring stick(Maybe people who used to approach them , approach you know ?)
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for being here ,it means more than you know!
if you’d like to support me, you can: ♡Book a reading (they're detailed, gentle, and full of care) ♡ Send a tiny donation even a little helps a lot ♡ Or just leave a kind comment or reblog , it really keeps me going
Whatever you choose, just know i’m really grateful. your support helps me keep doing what i love, and sharing magic with you 🌷🕊️
Sending you soft hugs and good energy always ♡
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ultra-raging-ghost · 1 day ago
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vodwatching and lukeys doing his best but he kinda didn't get to the full root of how bad felt about water? bad was panicking, confused and indecisive about how he felt about water but knew he didn't want to upset her - so regardless of how he felt, he was planning on just not exploring his own feelings to make her happy.
of course, running up to someone about this issue and going "we have a social emergency, this is horrible news" gives off the impression he doesn't like her back but when lukey dug a little deeper bad was avoiding exploring how he felt and boiled it down to "I don't know what to do". Aromance is a complicated topic and yk something something experts meme, we on Tumblr.com know that a qpr (and further therapy probably water has possession issues but that's whatever we love her evil) would be a good scenario for them, but that option wasn't really expanded upon and Lukey just continued under the impression that bad 100% wanted to turn water down.
Water, yesterday, actually presented the idea of a qpr to bad in so many words - that it didn't matter if he liked her back but shed like to continue doing what they were doing - but I fear bad didn't pick up on that at all because he finally got the idea of romance through his skull and his ears started ringing and somewhere a volcano named Vesuvius blew up for the second time in a centamillennial. Or maybe he did pick up on it, Bad presented the idea of continuing to date water just to test out how he feels about her but of course we as the audience know he wouldn't tell water that, he'd just say yes to more dates and lead her on. Everyone say thank you lukey for telling him not to do that.
The BEST case scenario, in my mind, is water taking it well and bringing back up the idea that bad doesn't need to rush his feelings right now and they can keep hanging out.
The worst case scenario is Bad completely and utterly fumbles this, brings lukey up in a panic, and water takes it horribly (as she should) and they break up again. Cheers!
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cressidagrey · 16 hours ago
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Ever time you update I think, surely the Leclerc’s will learn their lesson. SURLEY THEY CANNOT GET ANY WORSE!! But there they are, like Sisyphus, pushing the “we only see Belle when it’s convenient” rock up the hill (the bottom of the hill being not seeing her unless they need something and the top being the family therapy session). They can’t remember Belle is in the family group chat when they’re plotting to fix their public image but they can remember when they want her to plan a family vacation? TYPICAL (read this in Schmidt’s voice from that one New Girl episode 🤣)
I have many thoughts about Pascale 🤬🤬 nothing to say in Therapy but asking Belle to sort out accommodations for the family vacation because she’s good at it!! MA’AM DO YOU REALLY THINK SEEING WHO YOUR DAUGHTER AND SHOWING HER YOU’VE CHANGED, IS BY COMPLIMENTING HER VACATION PLANNING SKILLS???
Don’t get me started on Charles either!! Asking if it’s true that Galahad and Fleur are descendants of Blanche?? He can see that people on the internet are talking about it but instead of reaching out to his sister to confirm if it’s true he thinks “Nah, its just people and their wild theories on the internet.” The bar is on the floor and he is tunnelling under it!!!!
Also, how dare you make me re-live the trauma of Oscar’s first Win??? I literally had a visceral reaction to McLaren emotionally gaslighting Lando live and you bring it up when I blocked it out? CRIMINAL 🫵🏻 But then you made it all better 🤗
Thank you for another amazing chapter and the reminder that boundaries exist!!
-🐀
🐀 ANON YOU ARE ON FIRE TODAY 🔥
“like Sisyphus, pushing the ‘we only see Belle when it’s convenient’ rock up the hill” YOU’RE KILLING ME. This belongs in the Louvre. Or maybe in Pascale’s inbox, CC’d to every Leclerc with a subject line that just says “👀”
Let’s break this down:
Pascale’s grand gesture: trip logistics Honestly… if Pascale were a Hallmark movie protagonist, the final romantic speech would just be: “I booked the hotel, Isabelle. I even emailed the itinerary. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?” Ma’am. She is not Expedia. She is your daughter.
Charles tunneling beneath the bar He sees the theory. He knows the family name. But Belle + love + Max + horses = ”coincidence”? Charles, this is why Oscar is in the group chat and you are not.
The Oscar win trauma revival Listen. I, too, am still emotionally bruised from that race. But if we all have to remember the 7th ring of McLaren-induced chaos, at least we get to heal together. With cookies. And chaos. And one (1) protective Max Verstappen ready to scorch earth if needed.
I’m so grateful for you and your analysis — it makes everything worth it. May your coffee always be strong, your inbox free of Pascale’s nonsense, and your vacation never ever planned by Charles. 💌🐀✨
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mothinked · 21 hours ago
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The openings Ellie had to attack Abby and in turn sever their truce were innumerable at this point. Weeks of travelling and fighting as a unit (quite effectively, might she add) did nothing to make Abby ease up. Everything Ellie said or did put her under scrutiny. This was valid given she'd been a damn terror and force to be reckoned with in the theatre. Undaunted by the physical advantages stacked against her, she used her speed and cunning against Abby's tactical stealth.
It was stratagem versus brute strength. Ellie's scrappy fighting style against Abby's years of military training and discipline made for a very bloody, very violent fight with Jesse, Tommy and Dina being collateral. She fought and fought until her body could no longer withstand the abuse and it took Dina's brave assault to prevent Ellie's impending death under Abby's fists... Wrath, she learned, was one hell of a drug.
Over time, Ellie adopted a different style—she fought with a swift albeit less direct efficiency. No more disregard of the damage her body could take. In Seattle, rage was her greatest weapon. Her sharpest blade. A means to an end... to Abby's end. But it hadn't been called upon since their final confrontation: she didn't kill people anymore unless it was the only option. They needed to give her a good reason. Otherwise, she evaded. Saved her energy and ammo for the infected.
Did Abby think that even after letting her go on the beach, Ellie would have changed her mind all these years later? The thought of at least cocking her rifle had crossed Ellie's mind upon laying eyes on Abby when she and Lev emerged from the snowy forest. This woman was the architect of her misery—of her desolation—and the weight of their history was... well, it was hefty. Her shame and guilt weren't easily swallowed and seeing Abby after so long brought her trauma back to the surface.
And she'd dealt with that trauma through therapy and self-reflection. Took her a damn long time to heal and move on. Then Abby showed up, unbidden, and suddenly it was like Ellie couldn't fill her lungs with enough air anymore. It was a tightness in her chest that never went away. Her anxiety worsened over the weeks she spent with Abby. It was the Abby who looked close to how she had before the Rattlers, not the unrecognizable shell she was reduced to, left emaciated and without dignity to die in the California sun.
Even at the time it was happening, Ellie knew it was wrong to have forced Abby to fight like that. And threatening a kid, an unconscious boy caught up in the cycle of violence Ellie just couldn't break? What the fuck had been wrong with her? It was a line even Joel and Tommy never crossed. The last of her humanity was cast aside that day and maybe it was something that Ellie couldn't ever seek vindication for.
And of course it always came back to Abby herself.
Abby Anderson was the living, breathing reminder of every terrible act she had committed in the name of vengeance. She thought she could overcome the internal struggle that came with being the other woman's presence but at this point, Ellie was too damn worn down to bother trying to hide how effected she was mentally. Panic attacks struck at the worst possible times. Memories of the rainy ruins of Seattle kept her from getting any decent sleep.
Once, she watched Abby bring a blunt weapon down on a runner's skull and in that moment, she was back in the basement. All she could hear, feel, was the impact of that golf club. It was the crack of Joel's head splitting open on the killing blow. The sickening smell of iron in the air. Seeing his brain matter drip onto the tiles: the final touch to Abby's canvas of retribution. Nothing could erase this image of his insides being outside. The recollection left her retching in the wake of combat somewhere out of view of the two Fireflies.
She wondered if Abby had to watch her dad die in that operating room.
Ellie's eyes were trained elsewhere during Lev's wordless exchange with Abby. It was Jack's change in behavior that drew her attention, pulling her from her thoughts. He whined softly when she spoke his name, looking over his shoulder at her while trotting ahead only to face forward sharply to indicate something in the distance. "Yeah, sure, whatever," Ellie muttered dismissively, her brows knitting together. She put away her canteen and brought out a small pair of binoculars, squinting as she used them to scan the stretch of interstate they'd been skirting for hours. Looting the vehicles for any supplies, hoping to find a pair of unbroken sunglasses.
Her other hand adjusted the cap on her head—black with a brown leather beak, a snarling grizzly on the front. Short auburn locks were stuck to her face and neck and her skin was already sunburnt so she couldn't disagree that they needed to find some shade soon.
Jack whined again and jumped up onto the roof of an SUV. The rusted-out carapace creaked under Ellie's boots as she sought a higher vantage point. "... You ever see a hoard of infected before?" she asked, glancing over at Abby with a grim expression. "They're a couple of miles off from here." They mostly consisted of runners, clustered together but moving slow. Stragglers were usually the ones who alerted to anything unlucky enough to wander in their path and she'd seen them pull down a deer once, tearing the poor creature apart while it was still alive.
"They migrate, like animals." Ellie sucked in a deep breath and dropped down from the SUV with Jack in tow. The binoculars were handed off to Abby so she could look for herself. No more time was wasted after this sobering discovery—she picked up her pace and began leading them away from the interstate, away from the hoard of infected she hoped to never see up close. They were probably two days off from reaching the forest region and that was a lot of ground to cover and navigate through. After a few minutes, Ellie slowed enough to fall into step with Abby.
She didn't talk right away. Didn't turn her head to look at her until the first couple of words came out. "We can call it a day at the lake, set up the next camp there." It was structured as a statement but her tone of voice made it into a suggestion left for Abby's consideration. Ellie had no issue leading the way but was familiar by now with how she operated. She wanted to be in the know with no surprises. They had been making joint-decisions without issue up to this point. Avoiding any of those fubars or snafus. And fortunately, Ellie was pretty adaptable to most situations she faced.
It’s the look (or more like a glare) from Lev that’s thrown in her direction that tells Abby to chill the fuck out. There’s no visual or verbal acknowledgement but instead, she allows her posture to relax a bit, shoulders lowering to let the physical tension in them flow away. Or that’s the at least the hope. Though she’s hinted to him before that Ellie isn’t to be trusted, she hasn’t gone into explicit detail into why. He’s smart. More than likely he has an inkling of why Abby feels the way that she does but she also finds him to be far more trusting of the other woman than she would like. Their travels forcing constant close quarters had done wonders for the two of them socializing while Abby had maintained a distance, sometimes to her own detriment. Despite another human being on this trip, it was more isolating than she had anticipated.
As hesitant as she was to take Ellie’s direction, this place was mostly new territory for Abby. She’d largely avoided entering Nevada on the way to Jackson even if it meant adding a day to their trip. To swing around the tip and then travel through Utah which was more familiar had felt like the safest route but now she was putting their well being in the hands of the woman she considered a great enemy. She wouldn’t label it as trust, no. Ellie would be utterly mistaken to think Abby was trusting her. It was nothing more than examining the situation at hand and making a decision based on logic. Ellie somewhat knew the area, Abby didn’t. Simple as that.
The mention of the basement is enough to give her pause on if they really want to continue forward or try to divert around. Any longer in the heat and they risk issues. There’s a few glances between Lev and Ellie before Abby finally nods her head. “Alright. Lev and I didn’t come this way. If you’ve been through here before and think it’s the best route, lead the way.” It’s the most she’s willing to offer in terms of a compromise and if Ellie is waiting for a please, it’s not going to come. She doesn’t like not knowing what’s ahead but she doesn’t have much of a choice. Doesn’t mean she has to like it though. Lev gives her a look, a look that says offer something to show that this compromise is legitimate and that if Ellie does her part, you’ll do yours. Pursing her lips, Abby can’t help but shrug as if to say like what? There’s not much to offer right now in the middle of god damn nowhere. “Get us to the forest aaaand I’ll set up camp..?” Good enough, it earns another nod of approval from Lev and she steps to the side as if offering Ellie the wide open landscape in front of them to navigate.
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egforsakentakes · 2 days ago
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hi hello !! this is my first yap session ask here!! ^_^
(alas huzzah! throws my beloved Two Time hcs at you like birdseeds!! sorry if it’s long,, i have more yap sessions for later! straightens stack of papers)
⚠️ s/h, poor mental health, religious trauma/psychosis, slightly grotesque descriptions, detachment from oneself(?)
~ [ Two Time has an obvious staring problem. They’re so used to smiling that their smile is their resting face. ]
~ [ I like to think that Two Time was always mentally sick in the head, even as a child, and it went untreated. They were disturbing. They were obsessive. The cult didn’t help, it just gave them a place to let it fester. ]
~ [ Two Time has a bad hogging habit. At first they would hoard items like broken glass, rusted screws, or dead bugs. For some reason. Due to their religious psychosis and growing paranoia, they would eventually begin hogging trinkets that were actually valuable, saving it for possible "impending doom." This soon became a problem during Forsaken… you can probably piece together why.
TWO TIME!! ELLIOT JUST THREW A PIZZA TOWARDS A 32 HP GUEST GO GET IT!!! ]
~ [ Two Time has low empathy—it’s the backbone of their selfishness and freakish nature. It’s not that they’re incapable of helping others, it’s that their understanding of emotions is skewed and messed up, mainly because of their devotion to the Spawn. (wake up two time pry your eyes open please)
For example, if someone were literally dying in front of them, Two Time might hand them a medkit if equipped, but not out of compassion or urgency. "I assume you need this? Would this help?"
They lack the ability to connect with the desperation or emotional weight of the situation. To them, suffering is just another facet of life, something to be endured or transcended through the Spawn’s teachings that will soon bring them to it. "Ah. Such non-believers are clawing—scraping—begging for such temporary happiness! I do often find myself wondering why they choose that path, when you can choose the Spawn!!!!" They see themselves as a vessel/tool of the Spawn, and view others through that same warped lens. Every act of their assistance comes with a rationalization, not an emotional connection. ]
They most certainly aren’t a good person, but they aren’t pure evil. They just don’t feel the way others do. (what they need is therapy but delusions are free) ]
~ [ I find it funny on how the entire fandom unanimously agreed that Two Time has scars on their arms. I am absolutely apart of that ;3
Two Time self harms. It comes in a variety of different forms (scratching, using the dull of their dagger, etc.) The cult often practiced this as well as detachment from oneself. The blood from the blooming scars on your arms evaporate into the sky, as your body is preparing for its spiritual flaying. Spawn, I ask of you, to unite me with you, flesh and bone, or nothing at all. I am content in any image you have decided of me. They are very good at handling injuries and are more than capable of medical treatment on their own. ]
~ [ I did yoink this one from a genius anon but it lives in my head now:
Gender? Ego?? Self identity??? What are you talking about???? That was considered an outside infection. To be truly free in the eyes of Spawn was to peel your soul from the flesh-wet prison of your body and offer it to your beloved God! Everyone in the cult was considered genderless. The body could keep its petty labels (Azure, for example, still went by he/they—preferred out of politeness) but the soul? The soul was considered your "pure true form" that was simply trapped in the vehicle vessel that is your body. The soul didn’t have an identification to go by. You were simply taught that your soul was just the property of Spawn.
Two Time bought into this like WAY too hard. They were already unraveling by the time they joined, and the cult’s rhetoric just greased the slide. They started peeling away their identity like dead skin—maybe both metaphorically and literally following their years in the cult ?? They scraped off their old name, their old voice, their old gender, until only "they" remained. Basically how they adopted their theyfailure lifetsyle ^_^ ]
~ [ You’ve probably seen this headcanon a million times but AFAB Two Time….,,, 🤤🤤 they actually began questioning before the cult found them. Surprisingly, the cult was very accepting of this and encouraged it! (it was more to push them into the whole body vessel thing) If a cracked shell was easier to hollow out, why not help with the breaking? ]
~ [ This might be niche but are there any selectively mute Two Time enjoyers in the house…. i also enjoy the "rambles about the Spawn for 10 hours straight" to "suddenly closes their mouth and won’t say a single word for two whole days while communicating exclusively via vibes and uncomfortable eye contact." types of Two Time :3 ]
~ [ Azure was guilty of also thinking Two Time was a weird, freakish creature when they first met. And honestly? Fair enough.
When Two Time first joined the cult (i hc around mid-late teens), Azure was quick to greet them and show them around—because hip hip hooray someone around my age I can befriend! This basic act of kindness lit up something deep in Two Time’s system. They didn’t try to talk to anyone else their age. Two Time would actively seek out Azure's location thanks to the reluctant help of other members, memorizing his daily patterns—where he tended to the flowers, where he sat to eat at dinner, where he prayed… and when they found him, they would just stand nearby and stare. Or shift close and sit in uncomfortable silence.
And the thing is, they genuinely didn’t see anything wrong with what they were doing. It was comforting to them—being near Azure. Watching him. Studying how he moved, breathed, existed. Yeah they’re weird!!
It was only after Azure introduced them to more of the cult’s customs and mannerisms, that they slowly began to build what resembled an actual friendship. Then it blossomed further.
All bro said was hi btw ]
~ [ Two Time usually isn’t the one to start conversations. They just don’t feel like it :( If you want to talk, you’d better initiate. ]
// if it isn’t taken, could I go by koipond ⛲️ anon? :3
not taken! All yours:)
welcome^_^!
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lightgamble · 2 months ago
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DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN | 1.01, 1.02 & 1.03
I'm not him anymore. And, I won't let myself be.
#Daredevil Born Again#Karen Page#Matt Murdock#Daredeviledit#Karedevil#ddba spoilers#Daredevil Spoilers#Not Revolution#GIF set#Mine#I'm aware the show's called Daredevil: Born Again and Matt Murdock is Daredevil. But he's not my fav character by a long shot.#I like Matt. His MO is a push-pull relationship. He doesn't trust easily. He's very self involved and he's naturally self destructive.#But currently there is too much Matt and not enough Other People. I'm missing my warm fuzzys. I'm missing the emotional element.#(I do not miss the ninjas. Do not bring back the ninjas.) I'm cautiously interested in the idea of Frank having#a f**ked up fanclub - who he has no interaction with and who are co-opting his symbol for bad. If that's what's even happening?#I'm curious about Matt and Fisk both falling into old patterns and mirroring each other. I like the tense undercurrent between Fisk and#Vanessa. I don't know where that's going but I'm happy to wait and see. I just need something to care about? I'm not sure what the goal is#Matt's life is too easy. He became a successful lawyer with a proper office with no effort and barely an inconvenience.#He now has the perfect law partner who keeps the office running and has no personal issues and never questions him. She even found him a gf#Now it's a little messed up that his gf is a therapist coz boy does he need some therapy but she is also not very interesting.#I want to see Karen's apartment in San Francisco. I want her to have a cat. I want her to be a reporter or an#investigator? Maybe she just comes back to NY on her own. Matt screws up BIG and she shows up. Because he needs family and#she's all the family he has left. I want bickering. I want laughter. I want tears. And glaring and eye rolls.#I did not sign up for a show where Matt pretends he wants to be a lawyer for 9 episodes.#If the original version of this show was 'Matt pretends he wants to be a lawyer for 18 episodes' I can see why they changed it.#(This is the least spoilery post ever... but better to be safe than sorry)
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cent-scratchnsniff · 7 months ago
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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ah0yh0y · 2 days ago
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Things that have happened in the tile that I’ve posted
- mogs become a TEENAGER DAD IM RUNNING OFF TO ACTUAL RELAIBLE FAMILY
- said family are parading her around like a performing monkey boo
- rich kids are stupid
- SHE MPVES THE DOOR FROM THEBDEUCALION TO THE SILVER DISTIRC T I DONT LIOENTHIS AT ALL
- also everyone in the silver district family treats her like her dead mum for some reason. I feel like this is crow manor again but inverted black is opposite of white yknow
We got a couple of names for the wunderpis divinities yay! Nightingale and another one maybe one more idk I read this last night
I could not care less about the murder get back to squall teaching her shit please
- mog having a nervous system set to flight or freeze is coming up ALOT girl. Why is no one allowing therapy
- holiday seems stressed
- I DO NOT TRUST THE TWINS but also the I will be sent to GIRL BAD EVIL SCHOOL and BOY YOU JUST HAVE ENERGY SCHOOL, it’s funny in an ooooh boy dear god way
- I wanna hear more about the dresses mog is wearing how is she taking this how is she wearing colours and not showing it on her face
-Moggers being only thirteen seems wrong she should have aged the whole 5 years with us be sixteen fr
- I really wanna know how time works will I ever pay attention to the chapter titles no bring back chapter title list headings page
- Main battle got to do with the giant carp . Probably or something else to do with that or it’s something to do with getting therapy by monologue and something to do with performance
- I don’t think the Dalrjngs will be a reveal of evil like with my bestie Mildmay the book is too close with that
- I think it will be a well meaning probably messed up idea of status that idk makes them wanna lock mog up with them for the greater good. Or like she realises they don’t see her as her as well cursed child vs dead child
- Wishlist: jupi read some parenting books please
-elders get overthrown
-become socialist please wunsoc
pooor mog I’m gonna rend Laurent saint james limb from limb
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matteoberrettini · 2 months ago
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bringing positivity for once: today at work i was told that my coworkers said i'm good at tutoring 🥹 and yesterday one coworker sent me a message himself thanking me for my tutoring 🥹 and then my therapist told me the others in this group thing i'm taking part in all like me 🥹😭😭
#actually therapy was very... good today. like. made me feel good. i'm still like scared but i feel like maybe i'm not doomed#which is a new thing for me lol#also i made known again my desire to do more hours at work and the hr person said mh i see here they were already considering for you......#1 more hour. which lol considering how i'm already doing pretty few hours that almost feels like a joke like 1h and they're not even sure 😭#she said in the future it'll be more for everyone gradually. but she said she'd bring it up now with who makes the decisions and we'll see#i'm hoping the amount of commitment and quality i bring when i do my job will mean something otherwise i'd feel very crap lol#especially bc like i think they gave A Lot more than 1 more hour to a coworker that's been here for like 2 months lol ....... doesn't feel#very good tbh. like i do my best and more all the time and have for almost 3 years and i rarely get appreciation or smth lol but when it#comes up i'm told my coordinators are happy with me they've never complained i'm doing great....... but maybe getting smth back for all my#hard work would be good? i think they rely too much on the fact i really like it there but like i need to survive i need money and i also#don't want to be made a fool of. you know. i'm way too much of a doormat but how this will play out will be key. i love my workplace and#i understand that being a small company and a social cooperative means there's less money but if your budget is big enough to give#someone who's been here 2 months like 10 more hours than the standard it can be big enough to give someone who's busted their ass off for#3 years just as much. or i'll feel like i'm being fucked over lol#we'll see#i said i was bringing positivity lol i mean mostly i'm happy i'm just like. still dealing with a bit at work#and while being told i'm good is great i do hope it translates into something favorable to me bc i'm young and this is my first real job#and i love it there but i'm not dumb and i don't like being taken advantage of. i don't want to but if need be i can look elsewhere#anyway lol i'm glad that people like me and/or my ability to explain and teach? and apparently i'm not completely awful? go figure
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royaltea000 · 1 year ago
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How (if at all) has Temp changed after the whole "being burned at the stake because the french were salty" deal
Well for one I think he has a big fear of fire now naturally and (I forget to draw this constantly but) burn scars over half of his body not just on his face. He’s kinda self conscious about em and has his bad confidence days but he’s learning how to love himself more these days and it’s getting better :)
I also wanna go the really angsty route and say that because of the smoke inhalation damage to his lungs - he can’t sing beautifully like he used to and even his speaking voice is raspier and a bit quiet now
He and France are very cold and barely civil to each other now - everyone knows not to leave those two in a room together alone. More often than not Gil ends up being the default mediator between em lol
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ultimateaclrecovery · 1 year ago
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I’ve been asking the boy to come meet the pony fairly regularly since the start of the year and it’s been nothing but excuses (some legit others … less so)
And while yes this planned the cliche 30 business days but the contrast is staggering. Like my one friend suggested it to me and the other responded so enthusiastically and yes she rode horses and they both have dogs and thus are more animal people and both live closer to the barn but like still.
Also I am now excited for my friends to meet my pony!
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thedressagedraft · 1 year ago
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I need a tranquilizer after all that, tbh.
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gongziyus · 2 years ago
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i don't know how to say this without sounding like a freak but mila jovovich is one of the super thin celebs i don't feel threatened by
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iamnotlookingidonotseeit · 3 months ago
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day one million and one of the struggle of whether to come out to my parents or not
#u can tell the therapy is working bc i've been trying (w mixed results) to float opportunities to have more vulnerable conversations w them#i'm proud of myself for that#up until recently i don't think i could have faced the idea that my feelings are worth bringing up unprompted#even when it's positive things like 'this meant a lot to me' or 'i'm happy to see you'#there has always been this internal pressure to hide and keep my emotional distance and be only and exactly what i'm supposed to be...#but back on topic: the creating openings and taking initiative thing has also been difficult bc it leaves me open to disappointment#i know you can't force ppl to meet you or even (intimately familiar w this one) understand what you're trying to say#and i hated it when my sister's response to this failure to react was to try to manipulate a 'correct' response out of them#so i don't wanna find myself doing that#but if i'm not gonna do that then i have to admit that (1) i didn't get what i want and (2) maybe can't or won't#and while that's not New per se (i have been resigned to not getting what i want emotionally for most of my life)#it still stings and it feels kind of raw bc i am new to acknowledging validating and/or even feeling my feelings#if there is one thing i have been learning from therapy it is that it is okay if it takes time or if something doesn't work#and that sometimes it takes others time too so even if everything isn't hugging and crying in the moment it doesn't necessarily mean#that nothing got through#so i'm not ready to give up yet or refuse to try something different#it's just that i feel i need to get some hint that they'll give me something back other than 'ok' and change the subject b4 i try coming out#i am more and more convinced that it's something i want to do; because keeping this from them makes me so sad#accepting that i am queer and opening myself up to being honest about that has allowed me to be so much happier#but it's a happiness i can't share with them. and it feels like such a loss that i can't let them see me happy#even so all the same i feel like i have to try to reach out to them and make them hear that i love them before i can do that#because it would break my fucking heart if it made them treat me like a stranger#i sometimes still don't feel like they treat me like their kid so much as a cordial acquaintance or a colleague#but those moments of love really mean the world to me and i feel like i have to find a way to fill myself up on it in case i lose it#on some level i know it can't all be gooey emotion and there's no way around having to feel some feelings alone#but that little taste of connection... the night of T's wedding... i know it CAN happen and it makes it so hard to keep reaching and missing
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weisscreamcake · 4 months ago
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the one thing i’m at peace with about my sisters abusive behavior is that i will never forgive her
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