#right to jail

[snarky-magpie]

Me: omg David Thewlis plays Hades in Kaos

My husband: Who?

Me: David Thewlis

My husband: again who?

Me: you know, Remus Lupin

My husband: who's that supposed to be?

Me: okay, this marriage is over

[averywiseanimatedcat]

Michael is a fox and we were a coop full of chickens.

[mediumsizetex]

So far a lot of people aren’t getting this ref by SelenophileNSFW

https://www.patreon.com/Selenophile

[shunukitrash]

...I hate... wverything

[joyful-soul-collector]

I'm a simple man. I see one (1) stupid opinion and I immediately unfollow

[thevices]

I thought these boys were normal (tm) but the mate has confessed to me that he uses the magic eraser in the shower to exfoliate

[queerb]

I know I've complained about this before but who tf uses corn chex to make puppy chow??

[pathologicallypedantic]

People who use a group photo as their main pfp on dating websites should go to jail

[namtan]

every time i’m reminded l*gan p*ul is the us champion

[pangur-and-grim]

one funny thing is that after committing a crime, Belphie will lie down super flat and look up with his big wet eyes. not stressed out or scared, just accepting that he’s broken the rules and might’ve earned a time out in the kitten room. it’s the “I’m waiting for you to carry me away” position

[almostempty]

got me stupid wtf

You didn't have to do the puppy eyes again, Mr. Pascal! 😭

[nando161mando]

A message from one of the four young women who are going to jail for protesting Elbit Systems, Israel’s largest arms manufacturer

[kaffkanya]

they were SO boyfriends here i went insane a little bit like okayyyyy alrrr lets flirt during the life threatening situation

[anna-scribbles]

constant internal thought process

[paintedcrows]

Some Fords! (and Martin K Blackwood is also there)

[jedi-starbird]

APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)

New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.

He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.

The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.

"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."

Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!

Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.

When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.

Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.