#respect aroace people

[denerturee]

The best trio forever

[knifearo]

ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story

[pikp0kcas3]

The Hazbin Hotel fandom’s issue with accepting aromanticism and asexuality

Now that it is officially Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week, I want to talk about this!

I find that, as an aroace myself, I am constantly grasping at good representation and coming up empty— it usually ends up in one of two ways.

One: the character is portrayed as emotionless, cold, and robotic in nature. It’s the question aromantic and/or asexual people are often asked: “Are you heartless?” The answer is no, of course, but general media makes it out to be the opposite.

Or two: Their lack of attraction is seen as something to “fix” because they “haven’t found the right one yet”, and they end up with a partner as a “happy ending”.

It frustrates me greatly because of how little people actually see aromanticism or asexuality as a true part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

So when I watched Hazbin Hotel, and I found out about Alastor being aroace, I was over the moon. I was on cloud nine. I also saw how his voice actor has looked up the term as an attempt to learn about aroaces, which makes me OVERJOYED?? Amir is truly a blessing, and I love that he’s proud to embody a character that’s part of our community. It’s so beautiful to finally have a proper character, a fan favorite at that, who just so happens to be aroace— and that’s another thing I love about this.

It’s never explicitly stated in the show (though it is stated in interviews), but it’s rather clear when you’re watching, isn’t it? Alastor’s aversion to any sort of sexual advancement, coupled with Rosie’s blatant “I know you’re an ace in the hole” comment sort of spell out his asexuality pretty clearly, as well as what side of the spectrum he falls upon. In addition, his Valentine’s day card was strictly platonic, which caters to his aromantic side. It feels so validating to finally be represented, to finally have a character in media who shares the same lack of interest in romance and sex as I do.

When I entered the fandom to look for more content, I kind of expected to see the same respect for Alastor’s orientation there too. But that… wasn’t the case? I am fully aware that aromanticism and asexuality are both spectrums— of course, aromantic and/or asexual people can enter those kinds of relationships. I’m not denying that and they belong in the community as much as anyone else on the spectrum.

But, the more I see the same line again and again and again, the more it feels like an excuse to just ship what you want.

Usually I don’t mind shipping? I’m often a firm believer in people shipping what they like as long as it’s harmless and they don’t go crazy over it. I also know for a fact that Viv doesn’t have a problem with people shipping her characters. They are fictional, after all.

But in this case, people are ignoring the very thing that makes Alastor a part of the aroace community! People are ignoring his lack of romantic or sexual attraction!

Is this not the same as changing a gay character’s orientation to suit a straight ship? If not, how so? I’m told that we are a part of this community, so why aren’t we being treated like it? Why is it so hard to accept the people on the end of the spectrum who aren’t interested?

Something I’ve been noticing throughout my life is that society has not exactly progressed very much on the idea of accepting asexual or aromantic identities. Maybe we have, a little, since the old days— but hell, people in “the old days”, which in truth wasn’t very long ago, believed that asexuality was a medical condition to be “fixed” by taking the right medication or having sex. That’s a pretty low bar to clear. And on the romance side, you’re seen as a “late bloomer” or “boring” if you don’t express interest. These days, being friends with someone is treated like a gateway to them possibly becoming a lover. Not getting married, not going on dates, not wanting a partner— it’s all treated like a crime when it’s not.

Maybe I’m selfish, or sensitive, or I’m butthurt over nothing, or I’m making it all about me. Maybe I’m gatekeeping or whatever the term is. But please, please, please, I just want an aroace character like me who simply is not interested in sex or romance.

And I want fandom to respect that. I admire the creations that fans make— the art, the animatics, the writing and the character analysis. And I want people to keep creating because creation is indeed a beautiful thing.

But I really would like people to treat aroace identities like they’re important. Like it’s more than just a spectrum to get wiggle room to wrangle in another ship.

[captain-k8kat]

Hate that the aro and ace tags are 99% discorse and people defending their right to exist, like it sucks and it's not the aspec people's fault, really. I just want to find community, y'know?

[shouts-into-the-void]

I don't know if I can properly articulate the deep disgust I have for how "ace/aro people can still have sex and/or relationships" and "asexual/aromantic means little-to-no attraction" have been co-opted by non-aspecs in order to dismiss and ignore those identities, not even just in cases to justify shipping characters.

[beanghostprincess]

i'm aware that due to luffy's more cheerful personality and looks, a lot of people might find it weird to picture him in sexual situations. especially since most of us see him as aroace (as if aroace people couldn't have sex or be in love but, y'know, that's for another time) and it's completely understandable to not feel comfortable around sexual stuff if you don't like it with this specific character. however, being uncomfortable around that type of content and infantilizing luffy's character to the point that you consider it problematic or wrong to put him in romantic/sexual situations is too much and you should let people enjoy characters however the fuck they want. if you don't like something just scroll and ignore it, but don't try to make everyone follow your own moral compass and likes because we're all different and luffy is just a fictional character.

people often forget he's the captain of a pirate crew. he's mature and has critical thinking and if seeing a cheerful/cute character instantly makes you assume he deserves to be "protected" from sex/romance, you are: infantilizing his personality (that may or may not be neurodivergent coded, but that's another story), villainizing sex and romance instead of just seeing those as something you don't personally enjoy but should let other people consume, and using being aroace as a shield from the real world and a stereotype instead of actually being inclusive and truly seeing him as aroaspec. friendly reminder that aroaspec people can have sex and be in romantic relationships because it's a spectrum. that's the whole thing about it. it's understandable to not be comfortable around sexual situations with a character you don't perceive as sexually active, but that doesn't mean it's wrong to write him that way. let people do whatever they want with their idea of luffy and have fun!

[onesidedradiostatic]

holy shit i don't think I've ever seen a ship be described as this as the first sentence under the fanon section. this is fucking incredible

[popcornoncemore]

Say it with me Hazbin fandom:

Ace👏doesn't👏necessarily👏mean👏sex👏repulsed👏

Aro👏doesn't👏necessarily👏mean👏 romance👏repulsed👏

It's a spectrum and we need to include all versions of aroace identity, not just the kinds we're most familiar with

[cosmicredcadet]

Some of you will see a character that is actively repulsed by romance/sex and heavily non-partner coded (sometimes they even actively just say that they do not want a relationship!) and y'all will still respond with "But aros/aces can still date and have sex!!" like okay bud it'd be so much easier for you to say you don't respect repulsed and non-partnering aros and aces. stop beating around the bush trying to pretend to be oh so supportive when you obviously feel uncomfortable about our existence even in fiction.

[send-noodles-not-nudes]

So a lot of my feed has been about thunderbolts lately (haven't seen it yet but I'm planning to watch it eventually) and consequently, there's been a lot of talk and fics and memes about Yelena

I love her, so I'm happy that I've seen so much media around her, but there's one thing that makes me sad:

Yelena is aroace, and a lot of people don't portray her as such.

My initial reaction isn't anger. A lot of people don't know; I've seen through my own life that most people don't know what the fuck an asexual is, let alone what aromantic means, nor that you can be one but not the other. I've had to educate a lot of people, and that's just part of being aspec. So please, when you see people who mischaracterize a character as allo when they're not, don't have a knee-jerk reaction of anger just because of something that's more likely than not simple ignorance that wasn't intended to harm. Only get mad if they're being intentionally ignorant and rude.

That being said, for those writing fics/making memes/posting hcs or whatever else you do, please remember that Yelena is aroace according to the writers. It may not be super explicitly confirmed—Devin Grayson only said that she was "likely" to identify as ace, and the aro bit comes from a comic where she says that "no, I'm not a lesbian. I'm not anything"—but it's plenty enough to call her canonically aroace, and she's heavily aroace coded in comics and the mcu.

Plus, you can still write plenty of fics with an aroace character! Make a platonic x reader where they're QPPs! You still have plenty of options! I'm absolutely not trying to take that away from you and I encourage people to keep at it!

But in the same way you (hopefully; I know there are still people who do) wouldn't write a fic of a canon gay character in a straight relationship, please don't write Yelena as allo. If you've ever craved representation for yourself, you should understand why it hurts to have representation taken away from the aspec community. We have so little representation. All I ask is that you respect what representation we do have.

[unpopularvivian]

Literally Just An Ace Thing:

Me: *Reading a book* How was your first day of discovering your favorite ace, aro or aroace character?

Fandoms: Great Textbook! We made a lot of content for them!

Me: *Instantly puts down my book* Goodiegoodiegoodieletmeseeletmesee! >:)

Fandoms: That's the best part! All of them are romantic or sexual shipping content! :D

Me: ......

Me:

WHAT

[foenixed]

The "robot/alien learns how to love" trope is just aphobia btw.

[meaningless-mayhem]

It's such an upsetting feeling when you're friendly with someone but then they hit you with something they say that lets you know that they fundamentally will never understand you :(

My roommates are painfully straight and I fear they will never understand asexuality

I told one of my roommates that I'm asexual and at a later point they literally said "maybe you haven't met the right person yet" or something close to that effect

And another time I mentioned to another roommate that I've never had a crush before and they said "you're lying"

I know they mean nothing by it but it kind of irked me

I'm usually really open about my asexuality but when people say stuff like that I'm reminded that I should really keep my mouth shut sometimes.

[roses-are-repulsed]

if a repulsed person asks you to be aware and cautious about their repulsion, then i expect you to respect that. it doesn't take much to be a decent human and avoid certain topics around certain people. it's not that hard to stop making sex jokes or stop talking about your partner or whatever else someone has asked you to stop doing around them.

it is literally the one thing you can do as a decent person. You are terrible if you try to guilt the person or actively and openly exclude them because you think they are a kill joy for their repulsion or you think their repulsion censors you. If you cannot to the basic decency of respecting someone you supposedly care about then you are not someone worth hanging out around.

[contradictory-label-culture-is]

Aroace poly lesbigay culture is

- constantly being accused of not caring about / abusing my partners because I don’t have romantic or sexual attraction to them

- constantly being told my aro or ace identities can’t be real because i date

-constantly being told I can’t be gay and lesbian despite being a boydyke and literally having a boyfriend and a girlfriend (two more hoes than you man so who’s really winning!)

- constantly having to try and explain the concept of loving without romantic or sexual attraction

- people trying to “snitch” on me to my partners??? People have legit gone behind my back and been like “btw your boyfriend/girlfriend (misgendering me always lmaoo) calls themself (I explicitly go by shi/hir) a lesbian/gay man” as though they a) don’t know that and b) don’t care

Oh that last one?? WTF?? Snitching for that?? Huh bro that's insane, like they expect some kind of really upset reaction?

[skylarmoon69]

I literally JUST thought of this.

Okay, so I'm not Aroace but when an Aroace person comes out to you as Aroace, don't say, "Oh, there are plenty of fish in the sea!" Or "Oh, you're just not ready yet!" Or "Oh, well Aroace people can still date!"

Yes, some Aroace people still date. Yes, some Aroace people just aren't ready. But c'mon!

I'm not Aroace and even I can understand that if someone says they're Aroace, it means they're Aroace!

People need to learn to understand that and respect that!

Furries and therians too! A lot of people discriminate against furries and therians when they've done nothing wrong except have fun and be themselves!

Like, I'm not Aroace or a furry or a therian but even I know to respect that that's who they are.

Some people need to grow the fuck up and respect that.