#remember to set clear boundaries if you need to!
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the mood of being tempted to go headfirst back into taleblr vs feaer
I completely understand where you’re coming from, anon! Taleblr is a bit of an intimidating source material with a bit of baggage and loads of emotions packed with it (the fandom itself has been lovely, however dead it may get at times <3). If you want to get back into taleblr, I completely encourage it! It’s a fun thing to be into! There’s not many rules so you can just do whatever you want, so it can bend to fit anything else you’re into at a given time! Also I’m a little lonely and would love to have more people in the tag ^^ I follow everyone I see in there ^^’
It’s good fun to be able to think back to something that’s so important to my formative years and consider how I personally would work with the world if given the option. There are so many fanfics I want to write, so many comics I want to make…
Whether you choose to get back into taleblr at any rate, I’m happy you’re considering it ^^
#see I can’t leave taleblr bc it always claws me back#so I have to convince other people to stay here with me ‘j#in all seriousness tho#do whatever you feel like!#if your time in taleblr was full of anxiety and coming back might spark negative mental health#please proceed with caution!#it’s fun to mess with old nostalgia-based fandoms but your health comes first!#remember to set clear boundaries if you need to!#most of all; we control canon! it’s what we make it!#if you like any of my designs or headcanons I encourage you to take it to work with for yourself!#that may not go for everyone but that’s how I think of it ^^#if you’re too worried or Icked by what happened to join the fandom entirely#steal the characters#just take any character you like working with and make them into an oc and BAM#they’re yours now#idk how convincing I���ve been anon but I hope you have a good night and that I helped you make your choice
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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How to Reinvent Yourself!!
(none of these photos are mine!) “Pour yourself a drink, put on lipstick and pull yourself together.” - Elizabeth Taylor
Mindset!! This is one of the most important things that comes with reinventing yourself. Therefore that toxic, negative, insecure, and judgmental mindset has gotta go. Say hello to your new positive, secure, lavish, and uplifting mindset! Now, first thing you need to do is stop taking EVERYTHING so personally. Should you really be spending your whole day overthinking what this person says about you. NO! The only opinion that should matter when it comes to you, IS YOU. Next, think with a “so what?” type of mindset. Someone doesn’t like you? So what! Someone judges you? So what! Say so what, and move on. Lastly, take care of your mind!! You can’t create a whole new mindset if you don’t take care of your mind. So, heal whatever is making your mind stressed and fill your head with lots of good thoughts. You could compliment yourself, do shadow work, watch uplifting videos, just do whatever makes you feel good.
2. Set boundaries!! Not only should you set boundaries for yourself, but also for your relationships. Whether thats with a bf/gf, family members, or even friends. Whoever it is, they need to understand to not cross the line. Now, if they don’t understand then they obviously shouldn’t be around you. This year we are only surrounding ourselves around people who deserve to have access to us. Now, let’s talk about examples of having boundaries . First example, someone may be touching you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. For that reason you move a bit away from that person and clarify that they’re making you uncomfortable. If they call you selfish, so what? They need to understand to respect your boundaries. Second, someone is disrespecting you? Tell them that you don’t like their behavior and to stop. Last example, a stranger is using your belongings without your permission? Tell them that they should have asked and you don’t want them using your stuff. If any of these people don’t respect your boundaries, get them out of your life!!
3. Change the way you dress, talk, and walk!! I would like to clarify quickly, only do this if you want to. Moving on, I’ve learnt that slower walking and talking is better. Now I’m not saying to walk and talk in slow motion. Just slightly do it slower. This way, you can play attention to your behaviors more. It can be really important to observe yourself. Not only that but in a world moving fast, walking slow makes you stand out. Also make sure when you speak, it’s clear. That way people can understand you and what you’re saying. Finally, let’s go over the way you dress. Wear outfits that make you feel good, stylish, and fit you well. If you want to wear an outfit, don’t shy away. Wear it if it makes you feel happy! When you wear an outfit that makes you confident, the outfit is even cuter. Don’t forget, have fun with fashion and experiment with pieces.
4. Self-worth!! You need to understand that you’re an absolute BLESSING on this Earth. You are here for a reason and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. There is not a single flaw in you. You see your insecurities? Yeah, well someone out there has them too. Just because you have a few insecurities, doesn’t mean that should bring your value down. You should bring your value up and add taxes by realizing your worth.
“It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.” - George Washington
Love you dolls sm!! Remember to always wear a smile and stay pretty 💋
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#glow up#that girl#wonyoungism#becoming that girl#it girl energy#clean girl#pink pilates princess#girl blogger#health is wealth#it girl#elizabeth taylor#george washington#hollywood glamour#old hollywood#old hollywod glamour#classic hollywood#pink blog#pink aesthetic#pink pilates girl#pinkcore#girlhood#girlblogging#girly stuff#girlblogger#this is a girlblog#girlblog aesthetic#just girly things#lana del rey#taylor swift#natalie portman
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Go For It, Jamil!
Summary: Scarabia hears their Vice-House Warden has a crush and are a little too enthusiastic to help out.
AN: I really like the idea that the dorm mob loves their wardens and vice wardens. It makes me think of the tsum event where all of Savanaclaw was in tears because they thought Leona got turned into a little burrito plush, lol.
I got Omar and Babkak from the Aladdin Broadway musical. There's also a Kassim there but I thought it sounded too close to Kalim so just kept it to the two of them.
Warnings: Pining. Apparently I'm really into that. AFAB reader with she/her pronouns.
Spring had come to Night Raven College. With the blossoming trees, chirping birds, and returning sunshine, one thing everyone could count on was Kalim’s annual Welcome Spring party. Of course, he also had a Welcome Autumn, Welcome Winter, Welcome Summer, Farewell End-of-School-Year, Beginning of School, Halloween, New Year's Eve and Day, basically anything party. The difference here was that there were generally more flowers.
“And we can have the cherry blossom trees around the entrance of the courtyard!” Kalim was saying. Jamil dutifully followed behind him by a few steps, taking down notes for the numerous things they would need to order. “That way when the wind blows the petals will swirl everywhere and it will be super pretty!”
“MmHmm,” Jamil muttered, only halfway paying attention.
“And I was thinking the food should be fruit-themed. Blueberries, strawberries, plums, apricots, rhubarb - is rhubarb a fruit? It’s sweet but it’s like celery, right? Cause it grows in the ground in a stalk?”
“It’s a vegetable.”
“Oh, and pastels! I can get bolts of silk and we can have them hanging from the ceiling in panels and string beads between everything.”
“Sure.”
“And it’ll be the perfect backdrop when you confess to (Y/N)!”
Jamil nearly tripped over his own feet. Both of them froze at the sound of a shattering pot. Looking up, Jamil felt dread build in his stomach as a wide-eyed first-year stared at the two of them, obviously having overheard Kalim’s (obviously totally ridiculous) announcement. There was a broken flower pot at his feet.
“I-Uh-” The first-year stuttered. “Sorry, I’ll get a broom.” He dashed off like his feet were on fire.
Jamil sighed. The last thing he needed right now were rumors swirling around. “Kalim, what are you talking about?”
Kalim blinked at the retreating student before looking back at Jamil with a beaming smile. “(Y/N)! It’ll all be super romantic, right? And spring’s a time for new beginnings. We’ll have a string quartet and I’ll set up a gazebo with hanging lanterns and you can take her hands and look her in the eyes and say-”
“Okay, okay, okay!” Jamil quickly said, clapping a hand over Kalim’s mouth before another eavesdropper got the wrong idea. “You have way to clear an image of all this.”
“Of course! I think it’ll make a great story for your wedding!”
Jamil heard a gasp. He turned just in time to see the first-year from before ducking behind the corner with another in tow.
Yup. There was the headache coming.
“Kalim,” Jamil said, measuring his words as steadily as he could. “I’m not going to confess anything to (Y/N).”
Kalim pouted. “Aww, why not?”
“Because I don’t have feelings for her.”
“What? Of course you do!”
“I promise I don’t.”
“Don’t worry, she’ll definitely say yes.”
“That’s not the problem here.” Jamil sighed. “Look, I get that you have good intentions, but you don’t need to go overboard and be involved in everything. We talked about this, remember? The whole thing about boundaries?” Actually, (Y/N) had mediated that conversation a few days after Jamil’s Overblot. Is that why Kalim had become convinced they had some sort of romantic attraction? Because talking about feelings must lead to the extreme of those feelings?
Kalim looked chastened, a certain wet puppy dog look that would make most people fold instantly. Jamil was not most people. “Right, I remember. I just…” Jamil waited for Kalim to continue, silently hoping he would just drop it. “I want you to be happy, you know? And I think you’d be really happy with (Y/N)!”
Jamil looked at Kalim sideways. “It’s more of a two way street, you know.”
“Well, yeah, but (Y/N) likes you too!”
Jamil tripped over his own feet again. He felt a strange kind of dread at the way his heart skipped a beat as a warm feeling flooded his chest.
“She-what-Where did you hear that?”
Kalim shrugged, smiling coyly. “I can tell. Just like how I can tell you like her.”
“I don’t,” Jamil said firmly.
Kalim held up his hands in surrender. “I hear you! Boundaries! I won’t mention it again.” He added under his breath, “Even if I think you two would be really cute together.”
“I heard that.”
*
Behind them, hidden in the long shadows of the Scarabia hallways, a cluster of students were beginning to plot.
*
The next day, Jamil was taking some time to relax between classes. Well, as much as he could relax. Mostly his thoughts were occupied jumping between organizing for the Welcome Spring party, creating a mental schedule of what school projects were do when, planning what he would make Kalim for lunch for the next week-
“Jamil!”
He turned to see (Y/N) waving at him. He felt his heart start thumping rapidly in his chest. Stop it, He thought. I can’t let Kalim get in my head like that.
“Hi,” She said, coming up to him.
“Did you need something?”
“Not really. Just saw you over here stuck in your own head again.” She elbowed him playfully. Jamil felt himself smile without realizing it and quickly schooled his features to a more serious expression. “Want to take a break? I snagged these cookies from Sam’s. Tomorrow’s the expiration date so I got them on sale.”
Jamil wrinkled his nose. “Is it worth it?”
(Y/N) shrugged, taking a bite of a cookie. “It’s in the budget. You know, whenever Crowley actually decides to pay me.”
“You know, if you’re ever short on food you can always come to Scarabia. If Kalim’s not throwing another party with a buffet I can get you something. I always make extras for Kalim, anyway.” This was not entirely true. Jamil had had practically his entire life to get used to cooking for Kalim, and it was only recently that he had started making larger batches, packaging them up to deliver to a certain magicless prefect who’s nutritional health he definitely didn’t worry about.
(Y/N) smiled and offered him the cookie bag. “You look after everyone all the time, don’t you?”
Jamil smiled back and took a cookie. They sat in an alcove in the hallway, chatting about nothing of significance. Jamil told a story about how Floyd had insisted Jamil teach him how to spin on his head during basketball practice and (Y/N) told him stories of her recent trip to Harveston, Epel’s hometown, and the sled race against the surprise Royal Sword Academy students.
Jamil saw movement out of the corner of his eye, but whatever it was disappeared before he could catch it. “Sorry, what did you say?”
“Oh, about the stuffed animals. Sebeck won’t admit it, but I think he still has his squirrel plush in his room. I don’t think it’s magic anymore but it is really cute.”
Jamil heard the drag of a bow on strings and looked around.
(Y/N) frowned. “Are you okay? You seem distracted.”
Jamil shook his head. “No, sorry, I’m fine. I thought I heard-”
Music started to pour around them. Although it was the calming, one might almost say romantic, type, they both still jumped at the sudden noise. Jamil jumped up, looking around, and took a hit of sunflower petals directly to his face.
“Omar!” Someone hissed. “Be careful!”
“Sorry, Babkak,” A voice squeaked back.
Wait, Jamil knew those voices. He whipped around the corner, seeing a group of Scarabia first-years. Several formed a string quartet, softly playing music. The other two had a bucket of flower petals, one of them throwing handfuls in the air while the other directed a zephyr spell to blow them across the hallway. The two froze with wide eyes at the sight of their Vice-House Warden.
“What,” Jamil said, voice steely and arms crossed. “Are you doing?”
The string players looked nervously at each other but continued to play. Omar gapped like a codfish. Babkak stood up straight with a confident smile. “We’re setting the mood!”
“What mood?” “For your confession!”
Oh. Oh, no. Now Jamil realized how he recognized them. Babkak was the one who dropped the flower pot yesterday and Omar was the one he had dragged with him to eavesdrop. They must have heard what Kalim had said yesterday about him and (Y/N) and taken the wrong idea. And, Jamil justified to himself, it was definitely the wrong idea.
“Jamil?”
Jamil turned so fast the first-years were momentarily worried about whiplash. (Y/N) stood at the corner, looking curiously at the impromptu band and flowers. Behind him, Jamil could hear them hastily whispering to each other to keep playing and trying to get the effect of floating flower petals just right.
“Something going on?” She asked.
“No!” Jamil said, perhaps a little too quickly. “They were just leaving.” He glared at the first-years. “After they clean this up.”
(Y/N) took a step forward. Jamil felt his mouth go dry as she reached up and plucked a few stray yellow petals from his hair. “Is this for a botany project or something? Kind of romantic, huh?”
Jamil felt his face burn with embarrassment.
“No!” Jamil said, at the same time Babkak said, “Yes!”
“Okay,” (Y/N) said, rolling closed the half-full bag of cookies. “Well, I should probably get going. I need to see what kind of trouble Grim has gotten into while I was gone. I’ll see you later, Jamil.” She waved to him and then the first-years.
“What made you think this was a good idea?” Jamil asked, trying very hard not to yell, when (Y/N) was out of earshot.
“Sorry, sir,” Omar said, dejectedly picking up flower petals. He glared up at Babkak. “I told you we should have gone for the romantic dinner. And rose petals, not sunflowers.”
Babkak waved his friend off. “Don’t be so cliche. Besides, sunflowers are way better! They’re pretty and you can eat the seeds!”
“Hey!” Jamil snapped. The two boys looked back up at him while the other first-years were trying to discreetly pack up their instruments. “I asked what you were doing? Did Kalim put you up to this?”
“No, sir, this was all us!” Babkak said, a little too proudly. “We wanted to help.” “Yeah,” Omar said. “We’re all rooting for you, Vice-House Warden, sir!” The other first-years made noises of agrement.
“Rooting for me?”
“With (Y/N), to tell her you love her!”
Jamil groaned, covering his eyes with his hand and rubbing his temples. “I am not in love with the Prefect.” Jamil missed the skeptical look the two gave each other. “Look, I appreciate the…vote of confidence, but I’m not going to confess anything to anyone any time soon. So whatever else you have planned, or whoever else you told this rumor to, you can give it a break. Understand?”
“Yes, Vice-House Warden,” They all echoed dutifully.
As Jamil marched away, Omar leaned over to Babkak. “I’ve got twenty madol that say he confesses before the spring party.”
*
Jamil’s muscles were burning, and he welcomed it. He needed the distraction after this morning and basketball practice against Floyd in full force was a pretty good diversion. Ace had been uncharacteristically distracted all practice. Although Jamil couldn’t help but notice that Ace seemed to pass a little harder than necessary.
During a water break, Ace came up to Jamil. He tossed his water bottle between his hands, taking a step away and then closer.
Jamil knew he would regret it before he even asked, “What’s up, Ace?”
Ace startled, surprised Jamil had made the first move. “I heard something,” He said. “In potions class today.”
“Did someone blow up something again? Anyone get turned into an animal or something?”
Ace pressed his lips together. “Do you like (Y/N)?”
Jamil couldn’t decide whether to be exhausted, flustered, or annoyed. “Who told you that?”
Ace’s eyes widened in shock. “You do?!”
“No!” Jamil snapped back. “People are just going around spreading rumors.”
“Huh?” Floyd asked, sliding over on the bleachers. “I thought everyone knew already.”
“Knew?”
Floyd flashed his sharp teeth. “Come on, Sea Snake. Everyone knows you’re, what’s the land term? Head over heels for Shrimpy.”
Ace dropped his water bottle and jabbed an accusatory finger at Jamil. “I knew it!”
“You don’t know anything,” Jamil said, shoving Ace’s hand aside.
“Oh?” Floyd said, leaning in a little too close. “So that means she’s available then?”
“No!” Ace and Jamil both shouted at the same time. Ace glared at Jamil. A few other members of the basketball club glanced over, snickering to themselves at the outburst.
Ace puffed out his chest, planting himself solidly in front of Jamil. “Look, (Y/N) is one of my best friends. And if you do anything to mess with her then… then…” Ace fumbled, running out of steam with his threats before catching his second wind. “Then you’ll have to deal with Jack!”
Jamil crooked an eyebrow. “Jack? Not you or Deuce?”
Ace shrugged. “Jack’s the biggest. But Deuce did used to be a delinquent. I’ve seen him be pretty brutal when he wants to. And I guess Epel can scrap up too, when Vil isn’t around. Probably couldn’t convince Sebeck to help out, he’d just lecture about a knight’s honor or something. Ooh, Ortho had a blast cannon! So, you know, watch out!”
“I like how you didn’t put yourself in the line of fire there, Crabby,” Floyd said. He rolled his shoulders. “But you know, I think Shrimpy is pretty great, too. I don’t want to see her sad or anything. So if someone were to maybe break her heart,” He glanced sideways as Jamil with crazed wide eyes. “Can you swim, Sea Snake?”
Jamil just glowered back at him. “Can everyone just stop talking about (Y/N) today?”
“People are talking about me?” All three of them jumped. (Y/N) walked into the gym, Grim hanging off her shoulders. “I thought I felt my ears burning.”
“Shrimpy!” Floyd immediately ran up to her, sweeping her up in a tight squeezing hug. Grim jumped off her shoulders with a yelp. Ace yelled and pulled at Floyd’s jersey, trying to pry them apart.
(Y/N) weakly patted Floyd’s back with a free hand. “Hi, Floyd, hi, Ace. Sorry, I need Jamil real quick.”
The two boys froze, slowly turning their heads to stare at Jamil, who was busy hiding his face in his hands. They watched like hawks as (Y/N) walked over to Jamil.
“Hey,” She said. “You okay?”
“Fine,” He said, waving her off. “Just one of those days, you know?”
She frowned. “You need me to talk to someone? I can chew out Ace if you want. Floyd is sort of out of my league, though.”
Jamil sighed a laugh. “No, that’s fine.”
“Oh! Right! Hang on.” She slung her backpack off her shoulder, reaching in and pulling out a familiar water bottle. “Here, you left this in the library. One of the Scarabia first-years found it and asked me to bring it to you.”
“Oh, thanks. I was wondering where it was.” Jamil didn’t mention that he hadn’t been in the library at all today. As he reached to take it, their fingers brushed. Jamil grabbed the bottle and jerked back like he had been scorched. His heart was hammering, not from the exercise of basketball practice, and he was momentarily worried (Y/N) would be able to hear it. Not to mention if she would notice how clammy his hands had suddenly become.
“Well,” (Y/N) said. “I guess I’ll get out of your hair-”
“Wait!”
The entire basketball team, plus (Y/N) and Grim, turned to the sudden outburst. Babkak had half way thrown himself out of the doorway entrance to the gym, hand extended in a Stop motion. Omar guilty peaked out from the door frame.
“Uh, I mean,” Babkak said, back peddling.
“You should stay!” Omar jumped in. “I mean, we should all stay to watch practice! Support your local team and everything!” He weakly punched the air. “Go team?”
Jamil opened his mouth to chastise them again before (Y/N) spoke, “That sounds fun. I don’t get to see you guys play too often. If that’s okay with you, though.”
“Oh, um,” Jamil stuttred.
Floyd jumped up, throwing himself over Jamil’s shoulders and smiling wide. “Of course you can stay! You can watch Sea Snake show off!”
Jamil elbowed him. “You’re the one who shows off, Floyd.”
(Y/N) shrugged, smiling. (And Jamil definitely didn’t feel his heart flip.) “I don’t have any plans.”
As everyone got back in position for practice, Ace took his place, whispering to Jamil, “Remember: Ortho has a laser cannon.”
Jamil rolled his eyes.
From the corner of his eye, Jamil saw the group of Scarabia first-years shuffle into the bleachers around (Y/N) and Grim. He thought he saw a few of them hiding objects behind their backs, but was pulled back to the game before he could investigate further.
He lost himself back in the game. Sneakers squeaked against the waxed wooden floor, the bounce of the ball reverberated around the gym, each quick and practiced movement by the players blurring at the edge of Jamil’s vision. Another player passed him the ball. He faked left, turning around Floyd, before lining up a shot at the three point line. He raised the ball, arms tensing in preparation to shoot and-
A blare of sound echoed through the gym, bouncing off the acoustic walls and tumbling down around everyone in attendance. The ball slipped from Jamil’s hands, falling uselessly in a pathetic arc and bouncing across the court floor. Jamil turned to the bleachers where the noise had come from. The first-years, Jamil now recognized them as the string quartet from earlier, now made up a brass band. The noise he had heard was the blast from a tuba. The rest of the band joined in, trumpets, french horn, and bugle. They started playing a high-energy marching tune. How many instruments did these people know how to play anyway? Omar and Babkak had red and yellow pom poms, waving them enthusiastically. Babkak passed a pair to a bewildered (Y/N).
“Go, Vice-Housewarden Jamil!” Babkak cheered.
“Show them who’s boss, sir!” Omar whooped.
Everyone froze, looking from the impromptu cheering section and band to Jamil then back again. Jamil’s face felt as hot as the Scalding Sands desert at noon. It didn’t help at all when Floyd started cackling.
He began to march over to confront his dorm mates, again, when a new echoing sound made him pause. (Y/N) had thrown her head back in laughter. She stood, waving the pom poms above her head.
“Go, Jamil, go!” She cheered.
Jamil was pretty sure he was going to spontaneously combust at any second.
*
The rest of practice had been a disaster. Every time Jamil got the ball the bleachers would erupt in noise, distracting him and everyone else trying to play. Jamil had never felt so off his game, fumbling the ball, bumping into his teammates, and losing focus at every moment that mattered, and most of the ones that didn’t, too. He purposely avoided turning in the direction of the cheering squad, partially because he wanted to discourage whatever activities the first-years were insistent on doing, and partially so he didn’t have to see (Y/N) cheer for him so enthusiastically. (And, maybe, so she wouldn’t be able to see how flustered he was becoming with every second.)
A teammate had patted Jamil’s shoulder in sympathy as they headed to the showers after practice. “Don’t worry,” He said. “I bet she still likes you.”
Jamil resisted the urge to punch him.
Now, at least, he was back in a rhythm of something he knew how to do: cooking. Ever since his stint in the Culinary Crucible, the ghost chefs had tapped him and a few other stand out cases to help out in the kitchen every once and a while.
The kitchen filled with the scent of roasting spices and sizzling meat, spilling out into the cafeteria sitting area. Students had started lining up way before the kitchen officially opened to secure their plate of Jamil’s cooking. Jamil felt the tension melt out of his shoulders, much like the butter in the pan he was currently using, as he fell into his familiar rhythms.
“Thanks again for your help,” One of the ghost chefs said, floating by with a steaming bowl of freshly made turmeric rice.
“Not a problem,” He replied. “It gets me out of my own head.”
“Oh?” Another ghost asked. “Having troubles, youngster?”
“Girl troubles, maybe?” Another snickered.
All the ghosts jumped as Jamil brought down a butcher knife to decapitate a fish. They collectively decided it was maybe best to drop the topic, already deceased or not.
“Ah, Jamil, chef, sir?” A student volunteer said, warily eyeing the butcher knife. “Someone was having an issue with their meal. They wanted to talk to you.”
So much for his relaxation. Jamil quickly let the others know what to keep an eye on in the kitchen and headed out to the main sitting area. He scanned the tables. It looked like everyone was enjoying their food as far as he could tell. He looked back into the window of the kitchen. The volunteer student pointed at a table near the back by a window. He was about half way across the room when he realized that the student was a Scarabia student, a first-year in fact. And, now that he thought of it, he didn’t think he had seen that student in the kitchen before he had come to talk to Jamil.
Jamil froze, seeing exactly who was sitting at the indicated table. This was a set up. He turned around to go back, only to be stonewalled by two now very familiar Scarabia students.
“Hello, sir!” Omar chirped.
“Taking your dinner break?” Babkak asked. “Great! We have the perfect table for you.”
They both hooked their arms around Jamil’s and practically dragged him over to the table where (Y/N) and Grim sat.
“Oh, hi,” She said, blinking at the surprise arrival. Jamil felt his throat tighten and couldn’t formulate a response.
The musically talented first-years descended to the table, quickly picking up her plate of food to whisk a tablecloth over the table, setting down a candelabra which was quickly lit, and a vase with a dozen roses.
“Roses,” Omar whispered to Babkak with a sly smile. Babkak rolled his eyes. The two shoved Jamil into a seat opposite (Y/N). A plate of food was set in front of him. The sneaky Scarabia student from the kitchen grabbed Grim, shoving a plate of tuna tartare in his paws before he could protest. Then, the group of wannabe restaurateurs vanished as quickly as they had appeared. The two left at the table, Jamil and (Y/N), looked at eachother with confusion. Jamil dropped his head to stare intently at his plate, stabbing at the sayadieh with his fork.
“Hey,” Jamil was jerked out of his thoughts by (Y/N)’s voice. “I wanted to apologize for earlier, at practice. It looked like we were a pretty big distraction.”
“You don’t need to apologize,” Jamil said. “It wasn’t your fault.” He glared at the first-years eagerly watching from a table a safe distance away.
“Yeah, but still, I don’t need to make your life any harder.”
Jamil looked up at her. She was twirling her spoon around the tabouli, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. “You don’t make my life harder,” he insisted. “In fact, you’ve made a lot of things easier. My relationship with Kalim is a lot better now, for one thing.”
She smiled at him, and his heart definitely didn’t skip a beat. “Well, glad I can help, then. But don’t sell yourself short. You’ve been doing a lot of work since everything that happened.” She waved her hand, regarding the invisible thing they both understood. It was still hard to talk directly about his Overblot, the manipulation, abuse of magic, and kidnapping aside. (Y/N) had told him she wanted to give him space for it, to consider how he felt and talk to others at his own pace, but still trying to address the root of the issues. That was when she had started organizing those sessions between her, Jamil, and Kalim, giving them a place to directly talk with each other without outside pressures and influences, helping them work things together as friends instead of the master/servant role Jamil so often felt himself confided to.
“This is great, by the way,” (Y/N) interjected, scooping up a mouthful of tabouli. “I can always tell when it’s your cooking. Thanks for those leftovers the other day. I know Grim really likes them too.”
“Oh, yeah, of course,” He said. He didn’t say, “I didn’t make it for Grim. I made it for you.” He blanched at the intrusive thought and snatched up his water glass, taking a large gulp and trying not to choke.
“You sure you’re okay?” (Y/N) asked. “You’ve seemed kind of on edge all day.”
“I’ll deal with it later,” Jamil said, looking over at the first-years who started enthusiastically nodding and giving him thumbs-up.
(Y/N) drummed her fingers against the table. “Listen, actually, there’s been something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about-”
“Lgeimat!” Jamil shouted.
She blinked at him. “Sorry?”
“The lgeimat! I left them in the fryer! Sorry, have to go, have a good night!” Jamil shot up and zipped back to the safety of the kitchen.
“I didn’t know we were having lgeimat tonight,” Omar said from their spying perch.
Babkak thudded his head on the table at their third defeat. “We’re not.” He grumbled.
*
Jamil collapsed on the low couches in the Scarabia common room, arm flung across his face to cover his eyes from the late evening light. The day felt like it went on forever. Jamil had caught himself constantly looking over his shoulder, jerking at every unexpected sound, in anticipation of an over eager group of first-years.
“Hi, Jamil-Oh,” Kalim stopped himself, looking over at his drained friend. “You okay?”
Jamil sighed in response. “Long day.”
“Oh.” Kalim sat down next to him. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Jamil peered out from under his arm at Kalim. At least that was one improvement, again, thanks to (Y/N) specific intervention. Kalim had slowly been teaching himself not to jump to conclusions or take it upon himself to fix everything by throwing money or extravagance at it, but by taking the time to hear other people, namely Jamil, out first. Of course, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t throw money or extravagance at the problem in the end, but progress was progress.
Jamil gave Kalim a halfhearted glare. “It’s all thanks to that rumor you started.”
Kalim blinked. “Rumor? Oh, you mean about how you’re in love with-”
“Yes!” Jamil cut him off, sitting bolt upright. “That! Some first-years heard you the other day and have been following me around, trying to start up some grand romantic gesture.”
“Oh, yeah, I heard about that. I think it’s sweet.”
“Sweet?”
“That everyone believes in you! Everyone knows how hard you work. We all want to see you happy and with the person you love.”
Jamil stood. “Kalim, I’m not-”
“Nope.” Kalim said shooting up. He put his hands on the taller boy’s shoulders, forcing him to meet his eyes. “You’ve been different ever since winter break. You smile more when (Y/N)’s around. You’re not so tense all the time. And whenever we’re in a group, like at the cafeteria or dorm meetings or parties, you’re always looking for her. And when you see her your whole face just lights up! Do you know how often you talk about her? It’s a lot, Jamil! ‘Oh, I wonder what (Y/N) would think about this. Do you think (Y/N) has that in her world? Do you think (Y/N) likes spicy or sweet food? Do you think (Y/N)’s doing okay at Ramshackle? Do you think she needs help with any repairs like when we stayed there during VDC training? (Y/N) sure works real hard to catch up with a whole new culture. Do you think (Y/N) would want this extra curry?’”
“I don’t sound like that,” Jamil protested weakly.
Kalim sighed, hands on his hips. “I’ve known you my whole life. I know what you’re like when you’re mad, I know what you’re like when you’re sad, I know what you’re like when you’re happy, and now I know what you’re like when you’re in love.”
Jamil pushed back. “I’m not in love with her!”
“Yes, you are!”
“I’m not-” Jamil cut himself off. He felt suddenly dizzy. He sat down hard. “Oh, I’m in love with her.”
Kalim threw his hands in the air. “Yes! Thank you! Finally!”
“But,” Jamil continued, and Kalim tried really hard to keep his frustration to himself. “I can’t tell her that. I can’t… put that kind of pressure on her. She has enough going on with Grim and Ramshackle and trying to find a way home and… Sevens, she’s going back home, Kalim! I don’t know when or how, but she won’t even be in this universe! And what, I’m just supposed to show up and dump this emotional baggage on her when she already has everything else to worry about?”
Kalim sat down next to Jamil. He twirled his fingers together, trying to collect his thoughts. Why was it always so hard to know the right thing to say? “You said feelings were like a two way street yesterday, remember? So don’t you think (Y/N) should have a say too?”
“Kalim, I can’t-”
“Yes you can!” Kalim shouted, jumping up and clapping his hands. “You’re Jamil Viper! If anyone can do it, can do anything, it’s you! And keeping everything bottled up isn’t fair to you or her or anyone. So-So-” Kalim frowned, trying to look stern, a very strange expression for the normally boisterous boy. “So go tell her how you feel right now, and let her decide what happens next! That’s an order as your house warden!” Kalim flinched. “Please.”
Jamil stared at him for just a second too long, making Kalim squirm with worry that he had gone too far. Then, Jamil sighed, resigned, a half smile on his face. “Well, if my house warden is ordering it, how can I say no?”
*
Despite what he had told Kalim, Jamil dreaded every step towards Ramshackle dorm. Even with the ‘order’ from his house warden, Jamil considered turning back. Instead, with each uncertain step, he plotted out exactly what he would say. Was it just as simple as ‘I have feelings for you?’ Should he have some grand gesture ready? Absolutely not. Those first-years had spoiled that concept for him.
Before he realized it, Jamil was walking up the pathway to the dilapidated dorm. He stood at the front step, fist up ready to knock. It hovered there. A plan, he still needed a plan. He couldn’t just walk in without a plan of what to say, what to do. He’d had the entire walk over here, how had he not come up with a more solid idea?
The door snapped open in front of him, Grim hurdling out, crashing into Jamil’s chest. “What-? Oh, hey!” Grim said, rubbing his head at the bump then cracking into a wide smile at the sight of Jamil. “Did you bring us dinner again?”
“Uh, no, not this time,” Jamil said, already thrown off.
Grim frowned. “Meh, whatever. I’m going to Sam’s anyway to get some tuna.”
“Milk and eggs!” (Y/N)’s voice called from inside. “You’re getting milk and eggs! And oranges if they have any.”
“That too!” Grim said. He winked then sped off down the path.
(Y/N) appeared at the doorway, clearly having sprinted to catch the dire beast before he left. “Grim, I said we don’t have the budget to- Oh, he’s gone. Right, sure, why not?” She sighed. “Hi, Jamil.”
Jamil swallowed hard. “Should I come back later?”
(Y/N) waved the idea off. “No, it’s fine, you’re already here. Come on in.”
Jamil followed her into the dorm to the sitting room just past the entrance hall. Despite the age and wear of the building, it was clear that (Y/N) had taken a lot of pride in fixing it up and keeping everything in order.
“Sorry, I was in the middle of doing dishes,” (Y/N) said, whipping her wet and slightly soapy hands against her skirt. “Go ahead and take a seat, I’ll get some tea and snacks.”
“It’s fine,” Jamil said, quickly standing back up after having just sat down on one of the overstuffed couches. “I know where everything is, I’ll get it.”
“No, no, you’re a guest. Take a break, I’ll get it.”
“It’s fine really. I’m sure Crowly has been keeping you busy all day.”
“And you’re just as busy. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”
“No, really, I-”
“Jamil!” Jamil jumped at her sudden outburst, his hands frozen in the air. She huffed and put her hands on her hips. “Honestly. You take care of everyone else all the time. Let me take care of you for once.”
Oh no. Oh no.
“Now sit down while I go make some tea.”
He sat down. This was worse than he thought. He really was in love.
She wanted to take care of him. Of him. When was the last time someone offered to take care of him, to lighten his load, to take responsibility for the burden? For as long as Jamil could remember that had been his job, his life. Kalim, Najma, his parents, the Scarabia students, everyone and everything. It was like he didn’t realize just how tired he was until (Y/N) offered to help. Why did her snapping at him just now make him feel so relieved?
Almost without thinking about it, Jamil’s feet took him into the kitchen. (Y/N) was standing at the stove, setting down a heavy teapot on the burner. She was mumbling to herself about something, Jamil couldn’t really hear what. His ears were ringing.
(Y/N) noticed that Jamil had come into the kitchen, turning to face him. She frowned, eyebrows knit together. “Jamil, I told you that - Oh!”
Ignoring his anxiety, ignoring that nagging thought that he didn’t have a plan, ignoring the churning nervousness in his stomach, Jamil pulled (Y/N) into a tight hug, burning his face in her hair.
“I like you,” He said, so softly that he had to repeat himself to make sure she heard, to make sure she understood the depth of his feelings. “I like you. I think I might even- I feel better when I’m with you, like I can be better. I don’t feel like everything I’ve done up until now is just in service to someone else, because all of those things lead me to meeting you. I feel like I can think clearly, that I don’t always have to be on alert. I want to take care of you, I want to be with you, I want us to be together. And I know - I know I’ve done horrible things in the past, I know you’ve seen me at my lowest. But you still see me, me, not anything else. Not the servant, not the diplomatic aid, not the Overblot monster- How could I not fall in love with you? So, (Y/N), please. I just - please.” He wasn’t quite sure what he was asking ‘please’ for, he only hoped she would understand.
(Y/N) trailed her fingers along his back, threading through his long hair. She pulled back, as much as Jamil’s embrace would allow. The corners of her eyes were dotted with tears. “Jeeze, Jamil,” (Y/N) said. “Way to steal my thunder. I wanted to say it first.”
Jamil let out a cracked laugh, tears welling up in his own eyes. “You did?”
(Y/N) hiccuped, laughing. “Yeah, of course. I thought I was being kind of obvious with it. I finally decided to suck it up and tell you at dinner earlier, but you just ran away so I thought you knew what I was going to say and didn’t feel the same.”
“Sorry, I guess I was nervous. And those first-years all day…”
(Y/N) laughed out loud. “I was wondering what was up with that. Was that Kalim or something?”
“For once, no. They took it upon themselves to try and set us up.”
“Aww, they care about you.” She hugged him close. “And I can see why.”
*
That weekend, it was finally time for the Welcome Spring party, and there were, indeed, more flowers than usual. Kalim was flitting around, making sure everything was organized and where it needed to be. Jamil had asked if he could leave for the morning, coming back when it was time for the party to start. And, even though he had been the one to ask for the time off, Jamil had double checked that it was okay with Kalim no less than a dozen times before he actually left. Kalim insisted repeatedly that he would be fine, that he had a handle on everything. And, maybe, for the most part he did. It definitely helped that Jamil had assigned tasks to several other dorm members the night before to make sure Kalim didn’t get too overwhelmed.
Just as the golden hour set in, magical floating lanterns bobbing along in the air amid swirling flower petals, the guests started to arrive. Kalim had sent out a recommended dress code ahead of time, requesting pastels, whites, and gold. Something to fit in with the refreshing and floral mood he wanted to create. Mostly, he was happy to report, everyone was able to follow the requirements. Heartslabyul students especially were rigidly adhering to the dress code under the watchful eye of their house warden. Most of them wore pinks, as it was the required color when taking care of the dorm flamingos so they already had something that would fit the theme. Savannaclaw didn’t much stick to theme, but had tried to comply with sticking puffy peony blossoms through belt loops or behind their ears. Octavinelle wore light blues and corals, studded with shimmering scales, pearls, and other bits of underwater flora. Scarabia, of course, as the hosts, were the most bejeweled, taking inspiration from the fairy gala that had inadvertently plunged the campus into chaos, but also resulted in beautiful flowing white and gold garments. Pomfiore stayed mostly in lavenders and lilacs, highlighted by golden embroidery in fantastic scenes and shapes. Ignihyde, for those who did show up, dug out whatever was the lightest color in their wardrobe, mostly staying in light blues. Similarly, no one was expecting much from the usually dour-toned Diasomnia. But, not wanting to create a social fopaux at one of the few events he had received an invitation to, thanks to (Y/N) reminding Kalim to expand his guest list at the last minute, Malleus had ensured that all his dorm members wore mint and emerald green with gold dotted throughout.
There was a noticeable absence of two usually prominent figures, but Kalim assured everyone Jamil and (Y/N) would be arriving soon. And, although Jamil had tried to slip in quietly while everyone’s attention was focused on the dance floor for an aerial ribbon performance, Kalim’s squeal of delight quickly diverted everyone’s attention. Jamil held in a groan as attention whirled to him and (Y/N). They both wore outfits from the fairy gala, meticulously designed and created by Professor Crewel. She squeezed his hand in support, dragging him further in, head held high while ignoring the stares. A few Scarabia students gave congratulations, thumping Jamil’s back as he passed. Ace caught Jamil’s eye from the other side of the room. He pointed to Ortho, who was waving excitedly, and drew a finger across his throat. Jamil rolled his eyes.
As the aerial dancers finished, (Y/N) drew Jamil to the dance floor. As a band kicked up (seriously, how many instruments did those Scarabia students know how to play?), (Y/N) wrapped her arms around Jamil’s neck as he placed his hands on her hips. He really hoped she wouldn’t notice how sweaty his palms had gotten.
“You’re nervous,” (Y/N) said. “I’m not used to seeing you like that.”
“I’ve just never really done this before,” Jamil said. “Not dancing, I’ve done that plenty. Just the whole relationship thing. I never really had a chance before. I don’t want to mess this up.”
“I think you’ve been doing pretty good so far.”
Jamil smirked. “It’s been two days.”
“Well, see? You’re gaining experience already.” She leaned forward, placing her head on his chest. “I’m nervous, too, you know. Not about this. I’m really confident how I feel about you, and I want to stay with you for as long as I can. I mean about everything going on around us. There’s a lot of unknown. Technically, you know, I don’t even exist. Don’t have any papers like a birth certificate or passport or even a valid nationality. But I know I have great people helping me out, including you. And knowing they’re on my side, it helps make things a little better. And I’m on your side. So everything will work out, you know?”
Jamil hummed. Lowley, in a quiet voice so he could dismiss it if she didn’t hear him, he asked, “Can I kiss you?”
(Y/N) looked up at him, smiling, eyes twinkling. “I’d like that.”
*
Off to the side, behind a bolt of silk cloth, Babkak handed Omar a 20 madol note.
#wafflefriesfic#fanfic#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#x reader#jamil x reader#jamil x yuu#jamil viper x reader#jamil viper#fan fiction
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Ok let's imagine: Laura's teacher
note: yall i have too many imagines idk which gifs have used and which ones i havent but love love old man logan and wanted to do a teacher fic because i read @mcrdvcks "Until I Found You" and got super inspired, i also love laura and writing for her, almost never edited lmao
It was a rough start becoming a teacher, it was something you always dreamed about. You knew it was mundane, following a schedule and a pattern. But it was soothing to you, it was hard to adjust after a rough childhood, being around an emotionally explosive parent, you didn't have structure. School is where you had that, its where things could feel normal. But then you got older, and it was nothing like elementary school.
You had wanted to teach for younger kids but wound up with the middle school age. You remember a teacher telling you'd be good with junior high age kids. But you had hated middle school and hadn't dreamed of wounding up in one. You worked with your sister while you got your degree, though your majored in English. You loved working with special needs students, so her classroom was a good place.
But you wanted to focus on words, writing, and reading. You worked on building your emotional tolerance, really learning how to compartmentalize, especially with special needs children. There's a lot times you just can't put yourself first because your student needs you. It's a career that takes a lot and sometimes there doesn't seem like much of a reward. But that a student says something funny, or you are just a have moment where you look at them and you just feel care. That you wanna watch them grow because they had so much potential. It was hard when you knew the at-home life wasn't easy, wanting to do as much as you can for your students. You had to learn about boundaries and how much you could talk about with them. When you had to feel like you were almost betraying their trust if you and to report something they said.
If you saw a child in harm's way you had to report something about, not that you didn't want to. The children's safety always comes first, and that reality always hit when you had to make the hard decision. You haven't had to do much, but the times you had all you wanted to do was protect them, get them out of their situations. You did because you never got rescued, it just wasn't bad enough. But enough to set you up with a bucket full of mental issues. Then you dove into your teaching, putting on an act as you stood in a room full of preteens.
It's been two years since you started teaching in your own classroom. There was a whole feeling as you stepped into the room every morning. You turned on the switch for the vanilla candle melts, it had just turned seven o clock, when you look up to see Laura. She medium short hair, dark brown almost black eyes, she had a green backpack and a jean jacket. She wore sunglasses but knew when she walked into your classroom her hood needed to be down and her sunglasses away from her eyes. Laura came in early every morning and stayed until you left. You always waited for her father to show up, he would come in some mornings and bring your iced caramel maccatio.
You didn't like to admit but he was awfully handsome. In a rugged sorta way, his beard looked soft, and his eyes were a mossy shade of green. His hand which touch yours as he passed the drink over to you, your eyes scanning his outfit, a black suit, lightly wrinkled but of course he looked good. "What do you do?" You asked, as he cleared his throat, pulling at the tie.
"I'm a chauffer." Logan revealed, feeling lightly embarrassed as you smiled over at him.
"On the weekends I worked as a delivery driver, you like driving?"
"Yeah." He shrugged, "Got a bum leg." Logan nodding down at his right leg, as you scanned his face, before looking down at his leg. You wanted to press and asked what happened but he seemed uncomfortable.
"Thank you for the coffee, Logan." You smiled, before glancing over at Laura who sat at her desk, scribbling down in a notebook. She reminded you so much of you when you were a child. You could tell that she had been through a lot, she seemed to escape into writing just like you. You could also tell she really looked up to Logan and loved him very much. She regularly saw the school counselor for her anger issues, you'd walk her down and cheer her up after her sessions.
Singing 'Shake it off' with her to help her relax, one day her father came, "You listen to Taylor Swift?" Logan gruffed, walking into the room with the ice coffee, Laura following behind him.
"Yeah I do." You replied, glancing over at the Taylor Swift quote on your wall.
"Hmm, Laura keeps playing it." He grumbled.
"I can't say I'm sorry, Logan." You replied, crossing your arms over your chest. "But hey, I brought you a donut." You said, grabbing the box and handing it to her, she grinned up at you, looking up at her dad with a raised eyebrow. She took out a pink donut with sprinkles, humming as she brought it up to her mouth. "You want one?" You asked, as she moved the box up towards her dad.
"I wouldn't want-."
"Just take one." You groaned, mocking him as he grinned over at you. His crow's feet crinkling and making your stomach flutter a bit at the little sparkle in his eyes.
Logan brings up a donut to his mouth, humming while Laura mumbled something about going to the bathroom. He moves the donut away from his face and you stand up grabbing a tissue. Glancing up at him as you dabbed at his beard. "Got some frosting here." You smiled, glancing up into his eyes before leaning over to throw the tissue away.
"Sorry." Logan flushed a little, as you let out a little giggle before Laura walked back into the room with a smile on her face.
Later in the year, you went to a museum it matched the theme of the book you were about to read. You wanted to introduce it to them in a cool way, hoping it would interest more of the kids. Logan had signed up to a chaperone. Laura sticking to your side, which meant Logan wasn't too far off. He was grumpy with everyone but seemed to soften up with you. Little did you know how much Logan liked you. He never questioned why Laura came early and stayed later, you just accepted the coffee with an understanding gaze. He also thought that you were beautiful, even on the days you didn't wear makeup. Logan had been surprised, though he hadn't shown, he'd just scanned your face taken in each curve, freckle and indent.
There was definite tension between you and Logan, the other English teacher met up with you later during lunch. Giving you a look with raised eyebrows, "What?" You laughed, Maggie smiled over at you before glancing over at Logan while he sat by Laura.
"You and Logan." She started.
"What do you mean? We're just friends."
"Brings you coffee almost every morning." She added, you shrugged rolling your eyes. You've known Maggie since elementary school, you weren't surprised that she became a teacher. You weren't on bad terms, but you weren't really close since late middle school. But then you wound teaching the same thing at the same school. Your friendship igniting was nice, though it was really only inside the walls of the school. She had a family, and you were single, your lives were very different. You weren't sure if you were going to find someone, and then Logan walked into your life. Though you doubted he would go for someone like you.
When you got back to the bus, you wound in a seat with Logan. Who took up a good portion of the seat, moving his thighs into the aisle to give you room. Because you were a little bigger, you blushed feeling slightly embarrassed at your size. You imagined that Logan was used to skinny, fit women and you were chunky, and your body was built like models. You had stretch marks, you had extra fat on your love handles and hips. Eventually you healed your relationship with food, and you started to accept your body. But you had a crush on Logan, you wanted him to like you.
Then he pressed against you when the kids started filling up the bus, his arm moving the seat of the bus. You glanced up at him with heat in your cheeks, he was so warm, and he smelt like cigars and coffee. Logan glanced down at you as he heard the thrumming of your heart, noticing the flush in your cheeks. A smile curved on his face, and he moved to look up at the ceiling of the bus. When the kids all filled the bus, Logan moved back a little, but you slid a little closer. The side of your hip pressing into his, he stopped moving away from, relaxing his arm. You sniffed, your nose twitching as you glanced out the window, Logan looking over at you.
tags: @ohtobemare @dis-plus-fanfic-reblog-writes @onlybunss @squishyfruitloop @jessjessmarvelandhp @chronicallybubbly @delicateholland @bubblegumholland @mega-kittyglitter-1 xx tags
#old man logan x reader#old man logan#old man logan xmen#logan 2017#old man logan 2017#hugh jackman#logan howlett#wolverine#james howlett#the wolverine#hugh jackman fanfic#hugh jackman x reader#logan howlett fanfiction#james howlett x reader#logan howlett x reader#laura kinney#laura howlett#x23#laura x23#dafne keen
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You're dead. Or, at least, you should be. You remember what it felt when the bullet pierced your chest, the blood rushing out too fast, too much to stop. The man in red smirking above you. And yet, here you are. Alive. Safe in bed. One week before the day of your death.
Redo; Rewind is a story about time. Of an ordinary person working an ordinary office job. Sure, you might work for an info broker and, sure, you sometimes (often) commit acts of corporate espionage for said job, but that's just business.
This is something far beyond that ordinary life.
Time travel. It seems you of all people are capable of it. To manipulate time and bend it to your will. It may not be something you asked for, but you need it now more than ever.
Someone wants you dead. And they've already succeeded once. You can't allow it to happen again.
(Please note that Redo; Rewind is currently rated 18+ for depictions of violence/death, references to drug and alcohol use, explicit language, and heavy themes.)
Play as a customizable MC! Choose your MC’s appearance, gender, skills, and more!
Romance, befriend, or antagonize any of the 3 romance options.
Learn how to master your time control ability and use it to your advantage.
Avoid past mistakes and inadvertently come up with new, much worse ones!
Try not to die. Again. And again. And again...
Victor/Victoria Zhang [M/F] - Your boss and owner of VZSystems, the front for their true work as an info broker. Clever, professional, and cold—a classic business major. That's how they appear, anyway. Having worked for them for sometime now, you know that, despite their intimidating appearance, they hide a much softer side underneath. Will you maintain the status quo as employer and employee, or will you cross the boundary set by your positions?
August Astaire [M] - Hitman, assassin, whatever you want to call him, the man's a killer. That much is clear after he put a bullet through your chest. But is that all there is to him? As arrogant and cruel as he seems, you can't help but wonder if there isn't more to him than meets the eye. Maybe if you play your cards right you could even turn an enemy into an ally. But, even if he plays for your team, how much can you really trust him?
Amara Ingram [F] - Your coworker of about two months now. You don't know her well yet, but she seems genuinely kind, with a good sense of humor and a sharp mind. Since being hired, she's quickly earned her place, proving to be an invaluable asset with her skill in engineering and programing. Undoubtedly, someone you're glad is on your side, but could your feelings for her extend beyond the professional?
[Demo] - Available Here! (Last update: September 15th 2024)
[ROs] - Additional Details Here!
#interactive fiction#interactive novel#twine if#twine wip#cyoa#if wip#intro post#redo; rewind if#redo rewind if
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paper hearts
simon "ghost" riley x gen!reader
summary: ghost loves you, but you're tired
warnings: bittersweet angst?
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“Don’t look at me like that.” Your arms are crossed over your chest and you cast your gaze downwards, your eyes locking onto your socks. They must have become the most interesting thing, because your eyes wander along the blue swirls covering your toes, trying to find anything to anchor on to, anything besides Simon.
“How am I looking at you?” His voice comes out gentle, making your chest pinch.
“Like you love me.”
Your eyes travel back up to him, and you instantly regret it. When you meet his gaze, you notice that his lips are downturned and he’s missing the usual creases by his eyes that always appear whenever he’s looking at you. Instead, his under eyes seem to have darkened.
A sigh leaves your lips. “I just don’t know anymore,”
“That’s okay.” His acquiescence tightens the pinch that rests under your heart.
You shift your weight onto your right leg. “Is it though?” You feel like you’re going in circles with him.
You give yourself the excuse that if it was raining, you would let him in. Though tonight, the sky is clear and filled with stars, and there’s not a breeze in the air, so you keep the imaginary boundary up, somewhat shielding yourself from the intangible grief that fills the air.
He takes a half step back and runs his hand through his messy hair. You figure he hasn’t been deployed in some time, since you can see the slightest of curls starting to form in his hair. His hair was always an indicator of when he was leaving, before he would set off to wherever the hell he goes when he leaves you for months on end.
“I thought you died, Simon. And then I didn’t hear from you or anyone for over two weeks. I didn’t know what to do and I couldn’t talk to anyone about it either because even I’m not supposed to know what your job is.”
You shift to your other leg. “Do you know how exhausting that is?” You refuse to let any tears fall from your waterline.
You keep going, “Every time you smile at me, I memorize it. Or when you hug me, I memorize the feeling of it. I remember each moment that I have with you because whenever you walk out that door, I have no way of knowing whether that was our last moment together and you take a piece of me with you each time you leave.”
The damn cold has made your nose runny so you let out a sniff. “I feel like I’m falling apart, Simon.” Your voice cracks and you hate yourself for it. You curl your hands tighter around your middle.
Simon brings his hand up to gently cup your elbow and he starts to say something but you hold your hand up, “I know what I got myself into, Si, I do. And I’m sorry that I’m being selfish right now.” He starts shaking his head.
“I can’t imagine what you go through during your missions; all the horrors you are privy to everyday,” You look out behind him, to the street light that keeps flickering, threatening to burn out completely. “But this is hard for me, just as I know it's hard for you.” Your eyes are back on his and they look watery.
His hand is still on your arm, the warmth seeping into your skin. When he replies, his hand softly squeezes you, “You’re the love of my life, but I’m fine with not being the love of yours.”
The pinch in your chest grows even more, and you no longer know if you can contain your tears or not. “That’s not the problem, Simon.” Your eyes flicker back to the street light; it’s still flickering ever so slightly. “I just need some time, okay?”
You take a step back, and his hand drops from you. He’s still looking at you like you held up the stars and the moon for him, but he nods, “Okay.”
Once he’s off your porch and has driven away, you look towards the lamppost, only to notice that the bulb finally burned out.
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#mw2 ghost x reader#mw2 ghost#cod ghost x reader#simon riley#simon riley imagine#simon riley angst#simon ghost riley imagine#simon ghost riley angst#cod ghost imagine#cod ghost angst#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley fanfic#simon riley x you#ghost x you#cod ghost x you#angst
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time management
time management is all about planning and controlling how you spend your time to be more efficient and productive. some key strategies to help you manage your time better include:
・prioritize tasks: identify what's most important and tackle those tasks first. you can use methods like the eisenhower matrix to categorize tasks by urgency and importance.
・set goals: having clear, achievable goals can help you stay focused and motivated. break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks.
・create a schedule: plan your day or week in advance. allocate specific time blocks for different activities and stick to your schedule as much as possible.
・avoid multitasking: focus on one task at a time. multitasking can reduce your efficiency and increase the chances of making mistakes.
・take breaks: regular breaks can help you stay fresh and maintain high levels of productivity. techniques like the pomodoro technique, which involves working for 25 minutes and then taking a 5-minute break, can be very effective.
・eliminate distractions: identify what distracts you and find ways to minimize these interruptions. this could mean turning off notifications, setting boundaries with others, or creating a dedicated workspace
for example, sometimes i get so caught up with talking to my friends online that i forget to start my homework when i get home. an easy solution is to simply move my phone out of the room.
・review and adjust: regularly review your progress and adjust your plans as needed. this helps you stay on track and make improvements over time.
do you have any specific areas where you struggle with time management?
there are several great time management apps that can help you stay organized and productive. here are a few popular ones:
todoist: a comprehensive app for managing tasks and projects. it’s available on multiple platforms and integrates well with other tools like gmail and slack.
toggl track: ideal for tracking work hours and managing schedules. it’s great for freelancers and small businesses.
forest: a unique app that uses a gamified approach to help you stay focused. you grow a virtual tree by staying on task, and if you get distracted, the tree dies.
notion: an all-in-one workspace that combines notes, tasks, and project management. it’s highly customizable and great for both personal and team use.
clockify: a free time tracking app that helps you track work hours across projects. it's useful for individuals and groups.
trello: a visual tool for organising tasks and projects using boards, lists, and cards. it’s great for collaboration and keeping track of multiple projects.
thanks for reading! remember, mastering time management is a journey, not a destination. stay focused, stay organized, and make every moment count.
feel free to reach out if you have any questions or need more tips!
❤️ nene
#that girl#becoming that girl#student#productivity#study blog#student life#chaotic academia#academia#nenelonomh#study#ibdp#ibdp student#study motivation#studyblr community#study notes#study with me#international baccalaureate#diploma#ib diploma#studyblr#studying#100 days of studying#study inspiration#study inspo#study community#study space#time management#self improvement#self love#self care
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it’s truly wild to me that people are having issue with chappell roan setting a clear boundary of “please do not harass me in public, respect when I say no to a photo and please leave my family alone” and are saying the behaviour she’s talking about is “part of fame”
it shouldn’t be. that shouldn’t be normal at all. celebrities are human too.
I remember this same thing happening with Anthony mackie on tiktok as well bc some woman went up to him while he was clearly just living his life and he turned down the interaction with her, which he should have every right to do, and she made a tiktok calling him rude and essentially making out she was entitled to his time when she is a literal stranger.
some of you need to go watch/read misery bc it’s a literal horror story about how terrifying fan culture can become that is scarily close to reality at points and some of you are on the path or defending people on the path to becoming a real life annie wilkes tbqh
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PAC: “good karma my aesthetic. keep my conscience clear, that's why i’m so magnetic.” 🩰🍥🫧🪷
• what do you need to hear right now?
disclaimer ✩: take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i really appreciate y’all sm <3 for the patience, the love, the feedback and support. y’all are the greatest ever. i’m open to pac suggestions as well, so don’t hesitate to slide in my ask box! xoxo.
pile 1 ☂️ —
heyyy pile 1 ⭐️ what you need to hear right now is: release. relax and let go of any unhealthy attachments you may have to a certain person, place, idea or thing. i think you've been holding onto someone/something or the idea of what it could be/could’ve been. i pick up a feeling of yearning. you’ve been wanting something to work out in your favor, so you’ve been holding out…waiting to see if this situation will turn out how you anticipate. big 3 of wands energy. you’ve been waiting awhile now (i’m hearing weeks for some, months for others) for a clear answer. i think the more you wait around and stall things, the less likely things will go into motion. don’t chase, attract. remember that things will flow naturally to you and it’ll always work out in your favor no matter what — when one door shuts, several more will open. don’t put a time frame on it, you’ll get your answer/wish/clarity when you least expect. keep focusing on yourself and what you’re currently doing! whether that be going to school, work, the gym, studying, spending time with friends, etc. there’s a certain area in your life that you greatly want change to occur in, i’m heavily picking up for some that this is in regards to your love life, and again — i keep hearing that things will unfold in your favor when you least expect. very soon. you’re on the brink of something great, just don’t overthink it. relax, take a breath and just BE. your guides will handle the rest. love, prosperity and abundance are on the way to you. it just may not appear in the way you envision, which doesn’t mean it won’t happen at all. think about it this way, you might fantasize about coming across your dream person while you’re in a bookstore (on some ‘harry met sally’ type shit lol) so every time you go into a bookstore you’re kinda anticipating that to happen, but let’s say your busy at work or you’re frantically trying to prioritize doing your school work and studying and out of nowhere you look up and make eye contact with this person you’ve never seen before but you can feel the ✨vibe✨ like WHOA that’s…my person. i just see you being in your element when you meet this person pile 1, your mind will not be preoccupied/you will not have any precognitive thoughts — your person will just reveal themselves to you out of the blue. okay i feel like i’m getting carried away lol but everything’s gonna work out even better than you imagined pile 1 💗 trust that.
other channeled messages:
don't settle for less, pink + white by frank ocean, strawberry milkshake, chemtrails over the country club by lana del rey, leo sun, cancer moon, vedic astrology
pile 2 🦢 —
what's goodddd pile 2! i feel like you're in your self-love/healing era. you just bounced back from something and you did it with such resilience, ease and grace might i add. i'm hearing church girl by beyoncé, “i'm gonna love on me, nobody can judge me but me! i was born free.” okayyyyyy pile 2 i love this for y'all. i think some of you are really working on strengthening your throat chakra by speaking up for yourself and setting boundaries. just saw a meme that said “how i reclaimed the word ‘cunt’ by being one” OH WOW WOW WOW. i think you’re just over a lot of people and their bullshit, you may have just gotten out of a relationship, had a friendship breakup or recently left a job. good for you 💗whichever situation applies to you, i know it was draining and heavy on your shoulders. you finally feel like a weight has been lifted and you can spread your wings and be free. idk why i’m hearing some of you might be listening to a lot of lana del rey lately? (random but REAL af lol) i love that you know yourself at the core pile 2, you can’t fake it…if somethings not pleasing you or it’s not in your best interest, you know how to walk away and find something better. you don’t even know it, but you're inspiring to a lot of people. i think what you need to hear is: keep being your true authentic self. never forget where you came from and who helped you along the way, because i see that you have a big, bright and successful future ahead of you pile 2. you’re gonna be a star. “the diamond in the rough” from aladdin is what i’m hearing. you’ve got the wit, talent and empathy to get where you need to be in life. i wish you nothing but happiness and success pile 222 ♾️
other channeled messages:
hurricane by bridgit mendler, switch a n**** out by summer walker, olivia pope, sagittarius rising, cancer moon, pisces energy, save your tears remix by the weeknd & ariana grande, on my shoulders by sabrina claudio, red dress
pile 3 💵 —
hi pile 3 🤗 i’m getting rich vibes from y’all already lmfao, even if you aren’t (yet) there’s this energy of being very well-kept and liking the nicer things in life. you love you some good ol’ retail therapy. the message you need to hear right now is: spend your money wisely. i think you need to budget/save a bit more pile 3, you can sometimes go a bit overboard and indulge in the latest clothes, upscale restaurants or beauty products. you like nice things!!! there’s nothing wrong with that at all, you just need to make sure you’re prioritizing and balancing your earnings. some of you that picked this pile have very young energy lol like i can see you chilling at like 12am scrolling on youtube/tiktok and ooo’ing and aaa’ing at so many different product reviews and adding shit to your cart. some of you are tempted to buy stuff from the tiktok shop too lolll that was so oddly specific but i also feel like you've been big on protecting your peace lately. kickin’ back by mila j is coming to mind, “i’m kickin' back and i’m lightin' up doin' what the fuck i want. just rolled a wood, i’m feelin' good. just me, myself and this blunt.” i know das rightttt pile 3 🤭 you know your worth and you’re not settling for less than anything that you deserve — i love this.
other channeled messages:
luxurious by gwen stefani, need to know by doja cat, i just had an epiphany i need to go to tiffany’s, fenty gloss bomb, chanel chance, scorpio moon, catching flights not feelings
#pac#pick a card#pick a pile#pac reading#pick a card reading#intuitive reading#love pac#love reading#pac tarot#tarot reading#tarot#tarot pac#energy reading#p1utofairy
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Red Light, No Entry | Hyung line
Summary: sub!Ateez scenarios about you/them stopping a scene
Word count: 7 394
Warnings: written at the beginning of each member's scenario, other than that just general awkwardness and misunderstandings
A/N: This post is the sixth and last part of my Kinktober 2024 series! You can find the masterlist for it here.
A/N 2: Since the fic got quite long, this is only the first half - you can expect the maknae line version soon!
Hongjoong (cnc, hongjoong pretends to be in distress, pegging, a few tears)
The moment Hongjoong asked you to try consensual non-consent, you were both wary and excited. On one hand, you'd already dabbled in quite a few rougher sessions, all of which you'd come to enjoy a lot. Not to mention how he always made sure to reassure you the whole way through, proving it really was just a form of stress relief for him and he wasn't actually uncomfortable.
But now, most of that reassurance would be taken away. Hongjoong wanted to feel small and helpless, to not have any other choice but to take what you'd give him. He found it freeing, knowing he could abandon his leader persona for a moment and just trust you to make all the choices for him. And with the added pretense of not being on board, he could thrive in the almost dangerous dominance emanating from you, in the feeling of being so desired you couldn't help but pounce on him. And hey, worst-case scenario, he could always use his safeword, right? Not to mention the extensive preparations you both made for this scene, discussing any potential boundaries and turn-offs.
And yet, now that you were finally here, you couldn't help but feel massively underprepared anyway.
Hongjoong was on all fours, tightly gripping the pillow his face was buried in while you pounded him from behind. Despite said pillow, you could still hear his muffled protests, whines, and whimpers, growing more desperate by the minute.
You made sure to hold him firmly by the hips, playing your part in the play-pretend scenario of using him solely for your pleasure. Whenever he made another haphazard attempt to get away from you, you were right there to pull him back on your strap, pushing him into the mattress to make him stay.
At first, everything was fine. Intense, but doable. Every now and then, a sound or a jolt from your boyfriend would startle you a bit, but each time, you'd just try to remember the countless times you'd rehearsed and discussed this to remind yourself it was all fake.
However, as time went on, that certainty steadily chipped away.
The pained and desperate noises you were pushing out of Hongjoong started to sound a little too desperate, and the tremble setting into his limbs sure wasn't helping either. You kept trying to tell yourself he would use his safeword if he needed to, but what if he forgot? What if he was stubbornly pushing himself to enjoy what he'd suggested, or worse, because he was scared to let you down? What if he was simply too deep in subspace that he didn't know how to get out of it anymore?
"What's your color, babe?" You panted into his ear as you leaned down, getting a whimpered "Green!" in return.
And yet, you still weren't convinced. After all, how could you be when the more he pretended to struggle, the more you started to feel as if you were actually hurting him? Sure, your main focus was on securing Hongjoong's safety and comfort, but have you stopped to consider your own feelings as well?
"Oh god," Hongjoong sniffled out a few seconds after your check-in, voice watery from the way you were jostling him around. "It's too much Y/N, I really can't! Please, no more!"
Perhaps he was just trying to immerse himself back into the scene after your question, but the moment he lifted his head from the pillow to beg, revealing the tear-stained pillowcase, you knew you were done.
"Baby, red," your voice cut clear through the hot air.
"Wh-what?" Hongjoong stumbled out dumbly, looking back at you in confusion. He was met with your sorry frown, one of your hands sliding down to smooth circles across his lower back before carefully pulling out of him. He wanted to whine at the sudden emptiness, but something told him he probably shouldn't make this about himself right now.
Gingerly, you grabbed his waist and flipped him over, making sure he was lying comfortably. "I'm sorry hun, but I don't think I can push through this one. You know I don't mind roughing you up one bit, but when I don't have the usual reassurance you give me throughout sex, it makes me feel like I'm actually hurting you."
Hongjoong pushed himself up on his elbows, eyes growing wide at your words. "But love, I said beforehand that I'd only be pretending, I even told you I was green when you'd asked! You didn't hurt me in any way, I promise."
You sighed, though a small smile still made its way onto your lips. "I know, babe, but even then, your acting started to feel a little too real. I mean, look at you, you literally have tears in your eyes," you said as you wiped his damp cheeks. "And I know you sometimes tear up even during milder scenes, but there I'm always sure you're actually enjoying yourself."
Hongjoong pondered your words, looking to the side with a serious expression.
"I'm still completely fine with throwing you around and punishing you when you get bratty, and hey, maybe we can try again another time in a more relaxed, beginner-friendly way, but for now, I want to be 100% sure you're on board with everything I'm doing."
After a moment, Hongjoong let out a sigh, wordlessly nodding as he shuffled onto his side and beckoned you over with open arms.
You took him up on the offer in a heartbeat, wanting nothing more than to hold your precious boyfriend and ease any remaining guilt you felt. Trying your best to work around the awkward slotting of your harness against him, you let yourself be wrapped up in his embrace.
"It's okay, love, I understand," Hongjoong began, giving you a soft kiss on the top of your head. "I know it won't change your mind right now, but please believe me when I say I really did like this a lot. I always tell you right away when I get even a little uncomfortable, you know that."
You hummed in agreement at his words, tucking your cheek further into his chest as your finger traced the tattoo on his arm.
"That being said, we can absolutely stop for today if you're not feeling it anymore. I thought this might be something fun and new for us to try, but it's also something I can absolutely do without, trust me. As much as you care about my comfort, I care about yours."
"...so you wouldn't be opposed to this turning into some soft, sappy lovemaking instead?" You asked with a shy smile, looking up to meet his loving gaze.
With a giddy laugh, he shook his head before getting up to straddle your lap. Cupping your cheeks with his warm hands, he swooped down for a big, fat smooch.
"Never."
Seonghwa (doing stuff in public, plugs, seonghwa spirals for a second)
For the longest time now, Seonghwa had been wanting to do something in public. You were unsure at first, considering how private the two of you were about your sex life. He insisted, though, claiming this would be different since no one around you would actually know what was happening. And so, the two of you agreed to try.
A few days later, you were getting ready for an outing with his friends and their partners. Deciding that this was a good opportunity for your little adventure, Seonghwa came up to you with a small, vibrating plug you sometimes used on him. Resisting the urge to take him right then and there with the way he bent over for you so prettily, you helped him put the toy inside. You hadn't even turned it on yet, but your boyfriend was already buzzing with excitement by the time you left your apartment.
But as the two of you arrived at the bar for the night, that excitement turned to something different. A vague unease, of sorts.
You could tell Seonghwa was nervous as he sat down at the far end corner of the booth, quietly eyeing the place as he stuck close to you. Grabbing his thigh, you successfully got his attention again, though not without a small, surprised flinch.
"Are you still okay with doing this, hun?" You asked tentatively, giving him an inquisitive look. Seonghwa gave you a soft smile, resting his slightly clammy hand atop yours. "Of course, whenever you're ready."
Truth be told, Seonghwa wasn't as sure about this as he had claimed to be. In his head, the idea always sounded so hot, being claimed by you in such an intense way with people around. Not to mention the thrill of sharing such a dirty secret between you, making him feel giddy at the added layer of intimacy.
But now, as the plug pressed against him from the inside every time he shifted around, the arousal and excitement he was expecting never really came. Instead, as he watched his friends gather around and chat, he started to feel dirty, and not in a good way. Every time his gaze flicked to someone's face, he could feel a strange churn in his stomach, a mix of shame and guilt swirling around inside. Everyone else thought this was just a normal, fun hangout with friends, so why did he have to bring his own twisted desires into it and force it upon them? And what was worse, despite his adamantly disagreeing brain, he still couldn't help but get aroused, cock starting to strain in his slacks and making him feel that much dirtier.
He couldn't do this. The wish to indulge his perversion just wasn't worth disrespecting his friends like this. They all looked so happy and unassuming and to think he'd even do something like this to them- oh god, he was starting to spiral.
You, on the other hand, either didn't notice his awkwardness or pretended not to, too busy talking to San's partner next to you to pay too much attention to him. You didn't turn on the plug right away either, deciding to wait a bit to surprise him instead.
The entire time you were chatting away with the others, Seonghwa watched you in anxious silence, ogling the small remote you were holding under the table. Waiting. He was feverishly contemplating whether to stop you now, to end the scene before it could even properly begin, but with all the stress and anxiety coursing through him, he couldn't help but freeze instead. You looked like you were having so much fun, and he didn't want to interrupt that by complaining about the thing he himself had brought up.
Clenching his fists in his lap, he tried to will his slowly rising hard-on down, but to no avail. As humiliating as his situation was, his body was reacting anyway. Maybe the humiliation even helped in some twisted way, who knows. He wouldn't be surprised, given how much of a gross pervert he was already-
He was brought out of his frantic thoughts when he saw your hand twitch. The movement was almost unnoticeable, but given how closely he was staring at your hand already, dreading this exact situation, it woke him up in record time. While you were laughing along at something Yunho had just said, he watched in slow motion as your thumb inched towards the small "On" button. There was genuine fear in his chest now, feeling as though he could only watch and not intervene, too small to do anything.
Until you hovered directly over the button and Seonghwa's body seemingly moved on its own.
His hand snapped forward to grab your wrist, almost making you drop the remote in surprise. His grip was tight, though you could feel a slight tremor in it as he held onto you.
Turning to look at him, your teasing smile quickly fell as you finally noticed his wide, shaky eyes.
"Baby, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
Your words came out hushed so as to not alert anyone beside the two of you, and yet the calming effect it had on Seonghwa was immediate. Despite his hold on your wrist staying firm, his shoulders noticeably relaxed, allowing him to let out a shaky breath he didn't realize he was holding.
"I- I," Seonghwa gulped, eyes glazing over slightly as all the suppressed tension suddenly released from his body, "I'm scared."
Your own chest tightened at that, moving your free hand to rest over his as you gave him a worried pout. "Do you want to wait a bit longer or should we just stop altogether?"
There wasn't a moment of hesitation before your boyfriend chose the latter, relieved when you immediately agreed. Putting the remote away, you stood up and quickly excused the two of you, lying about needing fresh air due to a headache. In times like these, you really were a lifesaver.
After shuffling out of the booth together, with Seonghwa holding your bag in front of his crotch as inconspicuously as he could, you headed straight for the bathroom. You waited for him outside while he took care of the toy, letting him borrow your handbag so that he had somewhere to put it.
A few minutes later, the bathroom door opened again, and outside stepped a considerably red but much calmer-looking Seonghwa. He sheepishly handed you your bag back before digging around his coat pockets, only to fish out a small bottle of hand sanitizer.
"How dumb of me to think they'd have paper towels in there instead of hand dryers. Now my hands are gonna feel gross for the rest of the night," he huffed half upset, half to ease the slightly awkward tension between the two of you.
"Yeah, I'm afraid we can't do much about that, baby," you replied sympathetically. "But besides that, you good?"
His blush deepened at your question, lips pressing together nervously. "Ah, uh, yeah, everything's fine. I guess I just expected this to feel a lot more fun and a lot less disrespectful. I couldn't look anyone in the eyes I felt so bad." He let out a small chuckle at the end, but you could tell he was more disappointed than anything. Whether in himself or the situation altogether, you didn't know.
You hummed in understanding, drawing closer to him as you put your hand on his arm. "It's okay, love, you didn't mean to disrespect anyone. And it's not like they had any idea, anyway. They won't be hurt by this, I promise. The only thing that happened tonight was that we figured out another boundary to be mindful of in the future."
We. Oh, how he loved that you said that. It was a small choice of words, and yet, in this situation, it meant the world to him. This wasn't him fucking up and being a terrible person, you were in this together and it really wasn't that big of a deal. Well, it was a big enough deal to make him never want to do this again, but as for this one-time mess-up, it really wasn't worth beating himself up over it.
"So, you ready to head back?" You took a step forward, offering him your hand.
He smiled sheepishly, lowering his gaze to your outstretched hand before enveloping it in his own.
"Of course, whenever you're ready."
Yunho (pet play, cfnm, collars and leashes)
Considering everything else up until now, it only made sense for the two of you to try this.
No matter who Yunho talked to, sooner or later, his behavior would be compared to that of a dog, or, more accurately, a puppy. He really liked the comparison, especially whenever you made it - including in the bedroom. Not to mention how he tended to refer to himself as Puppy too whenever he happened to fall a little too deep into subspace.
"Mmh, Puppy's gonna- Puppy needs-", "Please keep going, Puppy can take it, Puppy wants to be good for you!"
And so, one evening after an hour of passionate lovemaking where Yunho had once again slipped a bit too deep, the topic of his beloved pet name came up once more. Sooner or later, the conversation turned to pet play, with both of you agreeing to try it out to see if it would suit you. The two of you discussed in great detail both what you were curious about and what you wanted to avoid, snuggling even closer together at the exciting plans for the future.
No specific date was set, both to keep Yunho on his toes and to make everything feel more spontaneous. Nervous yet hopeful, he had no choice but to wait for you to initiate.
By the time Thursday rolled around, Yunho had partially forgotten about your promise, both because he didn't want to pressure either of you and because he was so caught up with work that he was glad his mind got any rest at all these days. And even though the big project he'd been working on was finally finished today and he could rest for a few days, he was still so mentally spent he had no energy to celebrate anymore.
Which is exactly why you picked Thursday as the day, since you knew your boyfriend could really use some time off from all the working and thinking. Not to mention you both had Friday off, meaning you had all the time to take this at your own pace.
Yunho quietly shuffled into your shared apartment, turning around to take off his coat and shoes. Putting everything away, he sluggishly turned back to face the hallway, only to startle as you suddenly appeared before him.
"Hey there," you smiled. "Long day at work, huh?"
Yunho blinked away his shock for a moment but smiled nonetheless, nodding softly. "Yeah, I feel like I'm too tired to even speak at this point."
To his surprise, his response only made you smile wider.
"Good things puppies don't need to speak then, right?"
Oh.
Oh.
You could see the succession of emotions flicker in your lover's eyes - confusion, realization, shock, excitement, nervousness, lust.
"Wait, are we really-"
You shushed him with a finger against his lips, tutting softly. "What did I just say, hm? No speaking, Pup. Not unless it's your safeword or something absolutely necessary. Got it?"
After processing your words for a second, all Yunho could do was nod meekly, meeting your gaze with his unsure one.
Your finger on his lips trailed to his cheek as you gently cupped it, rubbing his cheekbone with your thumb. "Good boy. Now come on, let's get these off."
Yunho stayed still for you while you pulled his sweater over his head, fixing his hair with a small giggle as you let the garment fall to the ground. You'd worry about that later.
His pants soon followed, and so did his boxers. You helped him step out of the fabric pooling around his ankles before grabbing one of his legs. He leaned against your shoulders for support as you took off his sock, setting his leg back down before repeating the same process with the other.
Just like that, Yunho was left completely bare before your still fully clothed form. Something about that contrast made him shiver, made him feel so much smaller than you despite your actual size difference.
It only took a small push on his shoulder to get him to kneel on the floor, looking up at you with nothing but trust and devotion.
"Now, Puppy," you began, not missing the chill running down his spine at the pet name, "there's one more thing we gotta do before we can really begin. Do you know what that is?"
Yunho shook his head no, eyeing you curiously.
You walked around him to where your coats and jackets hung by the door. You picked up a jacket, and Yunho could immediately see something hiding in one of its pockets. He knew what it was even before you had the chance to pull it out.
A collar.
A collar and a leash, to be exact.
"Now, I didn't get you a custom one or anything since we're just trying this out," you explained as you crouched down in front of him, "but if we do end up enjoying this, I'd love to get my puppy one that's made just for him. Would you like that, hun?"
It would appear Yunho was especially slow with responses today, too busy slipping into a different type of daze with each of your words and actions. He was scared to nod his head again since you were putting the collar on him right now, so a small whine had to do. Hopefully, you got the message.
The silent tension as you fixed the collar around his neck was broken with a final click! as you attached the leash to the front, completing the look you'd decided on for tonight. Making sure the collar wasn't too tight, you stuck two fingers under it, surprised to feel Yunho's racing pulse as well. He sure knows how to put on a calm facade.
Standing up on your feet again, you ignored the popping of your knees and straightened up with a small huff. You could only hope Yunho's knees would be more durable than yours.
"Look at you, my pretty pup," you cooed, leaning down to ruffle his hair a bit. "You're too cute to stay out here by the door, don't you think? Come, you deserve a snack for being such a good boy."
And with that, you began walking, leash in hand.
...Only to stop after two steps, feeling said leash tugging your hand back.
You staggered a bit but quickly regained balance, turning around with a raised brow. "Come on Puppy, what did I just say? So much for calling you a good boy when you can't even follow your owner."
Despite your disappointed tone, you were more worried than anything. You looked your boyfriend up and down, looking for any signs of discomfort, but found none. Although his eyes looked a bit hesitant, the steadily growing sight between his legs hinted that was more from the unfamiliarity of the situation rather than actual unease.
Before you could prod him any further, Yunho gingerly leaned forward, placing both palms on the hallway floor. Slowly, shyly even, he began crawling after you.
You watched the muscles in his back move as he clumsily approached you, not even bothering to sit again as his head hung low. "There's my good boy. You're doing so well!" You praised him earnestly, hoping to ease any potential embarrassment he might be feeling. This was supposed to be relaxing for him, after all.
Tugging on his leash again, you finally got him to crawl with you into the kitchen, where you pulled out a chair from the dining table.
Yunho, as expected, stayed on the ground. Just like before, he stayed on all fours, solidifying your decision to get him some knee pads if you were ever going to do this again.
Grabbing a small bowl of frosted wheats you'd prepared in advance, you sat down in front of him.
"Sit."
The command was simple enough for Yunho to follow almost immediately, showing his slightly red knees.
Happy with his fast response, you ruffled his head encouragingly. "Good boy! Here you go."
His eyes flicked up at your words, not expecting to see your hand outstretched with a single piece of cereal in it. His arms twitched as he wanted to grab it himself but quickly stopped at the pointed look in your eyes. The blush on his face grew even deeper as he realized what you wanted from him, lips tightly pressing together in embarrassment.
Nevertheless, he obeyed.
Shuffling forward the slightest bit, Yunho's eyes fluttered closed as he pressed his mouth to the "treat". A moment later, you felt his lips touch your palm for just a split second before retreating again, the small square peeking out from between them.
You watched as he ate it, waiting to give him his next command.
"Down."
A small whine left Yunho at your order, along with a pout settling on his still-red face. He was quite literally giving you puppy eyes.
You just tutted at him in disapproval, gently tugging at his leash to remind him who was in charge.
"Only good boys get treats, Pup, come on. Down."
With his bottom lip still jutting out and his brows furrowed, he finally did as you said, lowering himself to rest his forearms against the cold kitchen tiles.
"There you go! Good boy," you praised him again, letting him sit back up before handing him another piece of cereal. He took it into his mouth with no hesitation this time, and you were pleased to see him getting used to his new role.
Until you got to your next command, that was.
As you watched Yunho swallow his second treat, you opened your mouth to give him the order you were looking forward to the most:
"Speak."
Like the flip of a switch, you could see all of the tension and hesitance return to his body at once. His hands fidgeted in his lap, eyes refusing to look anywhere but the floor.
"Puppy," you spoke in a warning tone, drawing a small whimper from the man before you. "Why are you being so difficult? You know what to do."
Taking a few shallow breaths, Yunho seemed to be steeling himself for something. You watched as he took another, longer breath, chest rising as he looked at you with determination - only to crumble again immediately.
"What is it, hun?" You asked gently, leaning down to pet his hair comfortingly. "Come on, you can do it. This is the last one and then we're gonna move on to something else, okay?"
You thought he'd agree, that this was just one of those moments of uncertainty where your boyfriend needed to be reassured before you could continue.
But, to your surprise, he shook his head.
Worry flooded your heart this time, making your chest tighten. The hand in his hair slipped down to his chin, gently tipping it up to make him look at you. But as he finally met your gaze again, you were met with an even more unsure set of puppy eyes than before.
"Oh honey, what's wrong? Is this too much?"
Hesitantly, Yunho nodded.
"I'm sorry, it's just-" he took a deep breath, curling in on himself slightly, "it's weird, I can't do it."
"What's weird?"
"I don't know," he replied. "I- I thought I'd like this- and some of it I do, really! The collar, the leash, the crawling around, the way you were talking to me, all of it was nice in itself, but when it's all combined like this and I can't even talk to you properly, it just..."
You waited for him to continue, but nothing. "'It just' what?" You softly prodded further, voice coming out in almost a whisper.
Yunho let out another conflicted sigh, pressing his cheek down against your thigh.
"It just feels too dehumanizing," he admitted at last. "And, like, I guess that's the intended effect, but, I don't know. I guess I still need to feel at least a little human even when you treat me like a dog, as confusing as that is. Less barking, more talking, so to speak."
You chuckled at his simplified explanation, making him smile as well.
"I mean, we're still going to need to discuss this later to make sure I know exactly what you mean and want," you began, "but I think I understand it well enough for now. And I'm sorry if I pushed you too far, you could have stopped me way sooner."
"It's okay," Yunho hummed. "We planned all of this together so I knew what to expect. I just needed a bit to decide if I liked it or not, and what exactly I didn't like about it."
You nodded at his explanation, silently petting his hair.
"Well," you spoke up again, making Yunho raise his head from your lap, "I think we should end it here, then - for today, at least. What do you want to do instead? Do you want to take this to the bedroom and do something more familiar, or do you want me to go get your clothes and just stop altogether?"
Yunho weighed his options for a minute, eyebrows furrowing together in concentration.
"Would you be upset if I said I wanted to stop completely?" He sheepishly asked, worried you would take it the wrong way. "Not because you did something bad or anything, I just feel a bit more soft than spicy at the moment."
To his relief, you just chuckled, leaning closer to remove his collar along with the leash. "Of course I won't be upset, Yuyu. Tonight is meant to be about you, to help you relax after all the work you've had to do lately. I want to do whatever makes you happy."
"So you wouldn't mind cuddling on the couch while we finish that box of cereal on the table?"
"I'd love that."
Yeosang - (mirror sex, body insecurities)
You were lying under the covers, phone in hand, mindlessly scrolling while you waited for your boyfriend to get ready for bed. You had no problem staying up for him since he was usually rather quick. This time, however, you were beginning to grow impatient, seeing you'd already been waiting almost double the normal time.
Ten more minutes stretched on, steadily adding to your irritation. You'd already called out to Yeosang once to hurry up, only getting a startled "Y-yeah! Just give me a minute!" in return.
Even after said minute, though, your boyfriend seemed nowhere near done. The shower wasn't even running anymore, having been turned off a good while ago. Just what was he doing in there?
Having had enough, you got up with a huff, stomping over to the door again. As expected, it was unlocked. Yeosang didn't really bother with locking it since you never came in unless it was an emergency.
"Yeo, I'm going in, this is getting ridiculous," you announced as you began opening the door. It had been a while since he'd finished showering anyway, so you shouldn't walk in on anything too crazy.
It would appear that your presence was still rather unwelcome, though, as Yeosang squeaked out a jumbled mess of stuttered protests at the door creaking open. And yet, he made no real effort to keep you out, likely too surprised to react in time.
Your brows furrowed as you took in the sight of him, standing before the mirror in nothing but his boxers and arms shielding his chest. "What are you doing?"
Yeosang froze at your question, frantically searching for an answer. "I- I, uh, I was just... looking?"
"At what? Yourself?"
When he sheepishly nodded, you couldn't help but chuckle. "Hun, it's been like fifteen minutes since the shower's turned off. Don't tell me you've been standing here this whole time."
His silence was enough of a response.
"Yeo," you sighed, closing the door behind you before walking over to where he stood.
He stayed quiet as you appeared next to him in the mirror's reflection, avoiding both your and his eyes. Soft arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer.
"You should get dressed, love," you murmured against his shoulder before giving it a small kiss. "It's too cold in here."
Once again, he nodded wordlessly, looking around for his pajama shirt, only to find you already offering it to him. You helped him put it on, and he had to admit, the shirt did make him a lot more comfortable for a multitude of reasons.
"So what were you doing in here, hm?" You asked again, and Yeosang inwardly sighed. He should have known you wouldn't give up so easily. "You said you were looking at yourself, but why? What is there to examine so thoroughly?"
You tried to speak lightly, not wanting the atmosphere to get too serious and make Yeosang feel too exposed. Or not more than he'd already been, rather.
"I, um," he began, unsure of how to put all the bad thoughts raging in his head into words, "I don't know. I just feel like I've gotten worse, somehow? Like the reflection in front of me isn't exactly what I remember it to be."
Ah. Now you understood.
"Honey..." you called out to him softly, opening your arms to invite Yeosang into your embrace.
This wasn't exactly a new state for Yeosang, as you'd found him in similar headspaces in the past. Ones where despite his incredible looks and physique, he couldn't quite see them for himself anymore, feeling a vague sense of deterioration instead.
You'd do your best to console him, of course, and with enough patience and effort, it always worked, nurturing your boyfriend back into his happy, confident mindset. And so, you didn't let his defeated words deter you, knowing you'd get him right back on his feet again in no time.
You could feel some of the tension release from his shoulders as he melted into you, hiding his face in the crook of your neck while your fingers brushed through his soft hair. Your other hand slowly slid up his shirt, giving him ample time to stop you just in case, but he let you keep going. You came to a stop at his shoulder blades, feeling around the expanse of his back before giving him light scratches. The touch made him shudder in your hold, sighing contently into your skin and making you smile in return.
"I know you probably won't believe me right now," you began in a hushed voice, "which is already crazy to me because you know that I'd never, ever lie to you about something like this," Yeosang nodded into the crook of your neck, signaling to you that he was listening, "but please believe me when I tell you that nothing's different about you. You are, were, and will always be my handsome, gorgeous, beautiful, breathtaking piece of art of a boyfriend."
Yeosang shifted a bit in your hold, hands coming down to tightly clutch at your shirt.
"I'd love to list all of the things I love about you, but I'm afraid we'd be stuck in this bathroom for the next few days," you joked, earning a small huff from him. "So let me just name a few for now, hm? Let you see yourself a bit through my eyes instead of yours."
After a beat of silence, you could feel a shy nod against your shoulder.
Taking that as your cue to continue, you straightened up, gently prying Yeosang from your embrace. His eyes flicked to yours for a split second, full of nervousness and vulnerability.
As softly as you could, you grabbed his shoulders and nudged him to turn around, Yeosang confusedly complying until you stopped him right in front of the mirror. He met his own eyes on accident before quickly looking away again, finding the bathroom counter in front of him much more interesting.
You, however, couldn't have that, reaching up to take hold of his chin and tilting it back in the direction of the mirror. "Don't look away, Yeo," you chided softly. "I want you to admire yourself with me."
Your words caused another shiver to run down his spine, somehow feeling more exposed like this than when you'd entered the bathroom a few minutes ago.
"Now, where to begin," you muttered mostly to yourself, looking him up and down in the mirror. "Let's just start at the top, shall we?"
You began with his hair, freshly brushed and incredibly soft as always. You played around with the strands as you showered him with compliments, twisting them in this and that direction, making Yeosang smile.
You then moved on to exactly that next, pointing out his pretty lips and an even more beautiful smile, causing his cheeks to redden as his expression turned bashful.
His striking eyes and adorable birthmark followed before you began trailing lower, now focused on his firm, wide shoulders. Your eyes were locked onto Yeosang's the whole time, watching his gaze flit between yours and whatever part of him you were currently appreciating. As the minutes dragged on and you moved from one spot to the next, pressed up against your boyfriend's back, you could see his eyes slightly gloss over, a dazed look creeping into them.
"Now, for one of my absolute favorites," you announced with a playful grin as your hand trailed down from his collarbone, grabbed the hem of his shirt, and tugged it up. You looked at Yeosang pointedly as you held the bunched-up fabric in front of him, waiting for him to get the message. You could hear his breath hitch as the realization dawned on him, meeting your eyes unsurely before leaning forward and biting down. You just gave him a proud smile, petting the back of his head before returning your hand to his front. You took your time, languidly moving down his sternum before taking a sharp turn to grab one of his pecs. Yeosang gasped at the sensation, reaching back to hold onto your thigh for support.
"I've said this a million times already, but God, do I love your boobs," you spoke dreamily, squeezing the muscle under your fingers. Yeosang squirmed in your hold, kept in place by your other hand clutching his hip.
A small, weak sound reverberated in his chest as your pointer finger drew circles into his skin, dangerously closing in on his nipple. His eyes stayed completely focused on your hand now, steeling himself for the inevitable pinch. It didn't do much, though, as you still managed to squeeze a delicious whimper out of him when you finally did it, making him press back into your body.
"You're always so sensitive here, aren't you?" You teased, brushing over the bud with your thumb to soothe it before moving to do the same with the other one. "I can never get enough of playing with them."
By the time you were done with his chest and began trailing even lower, Yeosang was panting. His hold on your thigh tightened, trying to keep himself steady even when his legs started to go weak from your ministrations. His other hand grabbed the wrist of yours holding onto his hip, as if scared you'd even think about letting go.
But while your words and caresses clearly had a very positive effect on your boyfriend, you weren't exactly content just yet.
You could tell he was slowly gaining some of his usual confidence back through your touches and words of appreciation, and yet, his eyes kept slipping away from his form in the mirror. Every time he'd do so, you'd sternly remind him where to look, to enjoy his body with you.
At first, he obeyed, meeting your eyes through the reflection again with an even darker blush spreading through his face and down his neck. Once you got below his neckline, small whines of protest joined his responses, but he listened nonetheless.
But the moment your hand finally landed on his crotch, a switch seemingly flipped inside of him.
You smirked as he let out a pathetic whimper, his faint abs visibly tensing at the feeling. "And what do we have here?"
With the shirt still in his mouth, Yeosang couldn't exactly answer, limited to nothing but desperate whines and panting. Even then, he tried to make his feelings clear, turning his head away to try and hide into your neck again.
You were quick to stop him, though, untangling your wrist from his grip to hold his jaw in place.
"No, no," you tutted. "You know better than that, don't you?"
And Yeosang, being your lovely little good boy, almost conceded again, the tension in his neck easing as he slowly began to turn back.
But the moment the hand on his hard-on began moving, he knew he was done.
You wavered for a second as Yeosang suddenly whipped around, too fast for you to stop him this time, and shoved his face into your shoulder. A part of you wanted to scold him again, yet something told you now might not be the best time.
"Hun?" You asked softly, rubbing circles into his back. "You okay? Talk to me."
It took Yeosang a moment to realize through the haze in his mind that he still had the shirt in his mouth. Taking out the now wrinkled material, he hid his face back in your shoulder.
"I'm sorry, but I can't do it like this," he muttered, and you could feel the heat radiating off his cheeks. "Everything else was okay, even if a bit embarrassing, but it feels really weird to be looking at myself while you do... that."
You hummed thoughtfully, ruminating over his words. "So you're saying everything we did before that was okay? Do you think it helped you at least a little, or should we do something different?"
Yeosang shook his head. "No, no, it was really nice, actually. I was embarrassed at first, but once I pushed through that, it actually felt very comforting," he admitted, wrapping his arms around your waist.
"I mean, if you could push through that initial embarrassment and ended up enjoying it, then, maybe..." you trailed off, snaking a hand between your bodies to tease at the hem of his boxers, "even this could work?"
Much to your disappointment, Yeosang vehemently shook his head, tightening his hold on you. "N-no, I really don't think so. Everything else made me feel more confident and comfortable over time, but this instantly made me self-conscious all over again. It just- it feels weird to watch myself like that, I don't know."
"It's okay," you replied, retracting your hand to put it on the small of his back instead. "If it doesn't feel right, then that's that. As long as I helped you feel even a little bit better about yourself, I'm happy."
Yeosang couldn't help the small, shy smile that spread across his lips. He knew words couldn't describe just how much you cared about him, and yet, with the two of you standing here like this, baring your hearts to each other, it was almost palpable.
What was even more palpable, however, was the obvious, unresolved problem pushing into your thigh.
You pulled away slightly, just enough to look into your boyfriend's eyes again.
"So..." you began, a coy smile on your lips, "since we said no more mirrors for now, how about we take this somewhere else and I make you feel even better?"
Yeosang's eyes widened at your offer before a small, bashful grin appeared on his face. "If you'd be so kind."
You chuckled at his sweet tone, knowing far too well his thoughts were anything but sweet right now. Nevertheless, you grabbed his hand and opened the bathroom door again.
"Then follow me, pretty boy."
taglist: @justconniez @domribo @another-random-fanfic-blog @imrllytootiredforthis
Thank you for reading! And remember, feedback is always very appreciated! <3
#sub!ateez#ateez smut#ateez x reader#ateez headcanons#ateez hard hours#ateez oneshot#ateez fluff#sub!yunho#sub!hongjoong#sub!seonghwa#sub!yeosang#ateez imagines#ateez oneshots#ateez reactions#kinktober 2024#sub!atz#sub!ateez reactions#ateez scenarios
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♡ꜞ˖ ᴘɪᴄᴋ-ᴀ-ᴄᴀʀᴅ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ
What do you fear as a shifter? How should you deal with it? 🍞
⌇ reality shifting themed tarot reading | masterlist | voting
pile one
Overall, you seem to struggle with taking ownership of the decisions you make. And you’re quick to overthink things and together this causes a lot of inner conflict. It seems that one major thing here in regards to your shifting journey is that you fear is being stuck in limbo, you might be anxious over how long it takes and how you might possibly miss opportunities because of this ‘delay’. As others (seem to) move forward, you fear being left behind by the world. This makes you ponder a lot about what direction your life (/shifting journey) is going in… over and over again… and it makes you feel confused, unsure and hesitant. You need to remember that you are the master of your own destiny. Don’t try to blame ‘the universe’ if your situation is a result of choices that you’ve made.
Sometimes it might feel intimidating to take the first step toward resolving the inner conflict and its roots but that doesn’t mean progress isn’t possible. You can break this frustrating ‘feeling of stagnation’ with some creativity, courage, and clarity! Just do whatever you can to make YOURSELF feel like you’re (more) ready to face whatever is coming towards you - whether you review past DR ideas and scripts or indulge more into DR related topics etc. The point is that you should counterattack your overthinking nature - if you feel that you start spiraling again, do something to assure yourself and to get on track again! Your mind will often have conflicting thoughts but don’t let it ruin your decision making skills.
On a side note, you might also fear getting hurt in your DR - whether mentally, emotionally or physically. There is some kind of imbalance or gap between mind and heart or just misaligned values. If you feel like you’re forcing yourself to experience things that you actually don’t want to experience (or that make you lowkey uncomfortable), try to think about where this stems from. I feel like you might not even be aware of the fact that you’re doing this… Re-evaluate your choices and address these misalignments (inner conflicts) to regain your balance back and to clear up the mental fog. Trying to develop a deeper understanding of your DR self, their values and beliefs might also help you in understanding what you actually want to experience there. Good luck!
pile two
This is a bit tricky but i think you might fear becoming or being emotionally immature, not wanting to come to terms with your feelings, being defensive about it and lying to yourself or trying to deceive yourself that you’re okay/strong/healthy etc. through senseless meaningless pursuits/things (ex. casual flings, shopping, eating - leading to dependencies/addictions). Frightened and threatened by your own sensitivity, fearing losing control over your emotions, you might try to conceal your insecurities by presenting a distant and uncaring (or overly strong, pretty, overpowered = flawless=unreachable) facade to the outer world. In fact, you might fear being controlled by emotions (through yourself or others) or becoming someone who misuses their emotional intelligence. This might stem from past trauma where you experienced emotional dynamics that were used to manipulate or to exert control. Overall, there is a need for setting boundaries, learning how to be more resilient against emotional manipulations, and becoming more emotionally stable and confident/free/autonome through healthy self expression and management of emotions.
You might also fear not achieving the desired level of success, stability or happiness. You yourself might even worry about becoming too materialistic, too arrogant or losing touch with other values the more time you spend as a (limitless) shifter. While you understand how lucky you are to get to know about shifting in this life, how many opportunities this brings and how it can provide security and comfort, it might not necessarily be solely ‘enough’ to lead to a fulfilling life. You’re concerned about how to balance all these things to not turn into extremes. Deep down, it’s very important to you that you maintain your integrity but you’re afraid of not being strong or capable enough to do so in the face of these limitless opportunities and freedom that shifting entails. Trying to focus more on quality than quantity while choosing your path (your journeys, DRs, your background, your life etc.) will bring you closer to a fulfilling life.
pile three
You seem to fear discontentment and dissatisfaction at a personal level. You fear that all these experiences will just lead to apathy, disinterest and overall detachment from life or from being alive! You worry that life will just feel boring in the end and you’re scared of what that means. This might be triggering for some but some of you might ultimately fear coming to a point where you’d rather want to d*e then stay alive.
I can see that deep down you take this very seriously and you have respect for the freedom and limitlessness that shifting offers you but you know how we humans are and how fragile our mind can become just because we’re not ‘prepared’ or ready yet for what we have to face in our lives.
If you had the choice, you would like to always have a direction or an end destination in mind, you might hate living an aimless life. You don’t want to stagnate; you want to always progress. And while you hate feeling like you’re trapped in your circumstances, you oftentimes stay unwilling to make sacrifices for change because you fear wasting these sacrifices or missing opportunities later on because of these sacrifices. There might be an overall resistance to letting go or a reluctance to see things from a new perspective. I feel like you're someone that would hate being a people pleaser and not having any independent thoughts - becoming narrow minded like others (in your opinion). You don’t want to bend down or surrender. And coming back to the beginning, you fear reaching a point in your life as a shifter where you feel like you have no further direction, where you feel pushed into a corner, forced to start living like the others and adapting their mindset because your way of doing things led you to a stalemate.
You need to remember that this perception you have is influenced by your attitude and opinions and is not completely free of prejudice or illusions. While some of these imaginings might be a possibility, it is important not to lose yourself in those or rather to not restrict yourself by those imposed limits. Why think about the end when you haven’t even fully started your journey? Stay open-minded. Seek stability in this overwhelming chaos of opportunities. Release outdated attachments, learn as you go and do so with flow - learn about what makes you happy and what fulfills you. There is no need to think about the afterwards when you haven’t even come close to the end. Just think about the next step while taking care of yourself, your health and happiness. You won’t be hanging aimlessly in the air, you’re more than capable to assert control and structure in your life, at any time. But try to do so with integrity, flexibility and empathy to ensure that your ‘order’ does not become oppression (of yourself).
#shifting#shiftblr#pac reading#pick a card reading#pick a card#pick a pile#pick a picture#tarot readings#tarot#pac#shifting fears#fears#shifting advice
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In Poor Taste [P5]
(Yandere × F! Reader)
[Warning: addiction, alcohol, ageism, sexism, misogyny, mention of bodily harm, religious trauma]
[A/N: its high time we show yuki some love 🫶]
[Series Link]
You were never crazy about spoiled rich men. They couldn't stand being unremarkable.
"Bless me, father, for I have sinned."
Silence. The stuffy wood walls felt as if it was contracting.
"It's been five years since my last confession, and I accuse myself of the following sin."
No answer yet as per customary. Lukas tugged at his tight collar, anxious. His blunt fingernails reached inside the gap, letting a puff of air hit his chest dripping with sweat.
"I am lost, father."
"And why did you say that?"
"I have nothing special about me. I never really had to try hard to get what I want, and now... I don't know which path to take."
"You walk with God, my child."
Something within his chest inflated, leaving him gasping for air.
"Is that all there is, Father?"
"We are all nothing without Him. He will show you the way."
Lukas wanted to get out of the booth, but he couldn't. His body was frozen in place. Panic set in as he tried to squirm only to find his strength redundant.
"I don't see it, Father!", he tried to scream, but his voice came out weak, "I don't see it... I need to forge my own."
"And how do you plan to do that, when you are unspecial and lost?"
The priest's voice wasn't singular anymore. It dissolved into a chorus of many, thunderous and firm. Lukas heaved, choking on the taste of pennies. He felt a weight from the other side pressing against the confession window, closing the walls in.
The curtain cracked open. Lukas could only look as a hand reached in and grabbed his collar, harshly yanking him forward as if he was a ragdoll. His body was then unbound, light and fluid like water.
He gasped, his eyes fluttering open. Lukas felt the cold sweat on his neck. Between dream and reality, he almost remembered the bruised knuckle and the familiar fingers that pulled him awake.
___
Yuki figured the newbie was a quick learner, but he didn't think Lukas would pick up on your introversion that quickly.
It was ironic that this newcomer was already half of the foreign staff present in the end-of-year dinner that the foreign dept threw. The other half was you. Together you and him sat, tall and quiet. The cozy private restaurant lounge was bustling with chatters, but not one peep from this pair. Far off from the other side of the long table, Yuki could only steal glances at you who only nodded and smiled at any attempts at conversations that went your way. He was worried that Lukas might try something weird tonight what with alcohol so readily available, but so far he had seen nothing but a rather impressive effort at maintaining social norms. He assumed that ought to clear his mind, yet any time he found himself letting his guard down, he was sorely reminded of the punk rock clothing site. Some parts of him were starting to manifest doubt - was he the weird one for fixating? Was it some... American norms he failed to consider? After all, Australian culture could very well be less intense than its riveting cousin. Deciding at last that he was overthinking, he tried to keep up with the conversations around him.
If something bad were to happen, you'd say something, right?
"Say, Sakamoto", he jumped at Tahara's voice, surprised to see she had her attention on him now, "are you ever gonna get married?"
Instantly, eyes were on him. Yuki shifted, laughing nervously.
"Yeah", another voice chimed in, "You're 26, you're earning good money, you got your family's name. Women must be flocking to you."
That voice would be Hanao, quite possibly his least favorite senior. 33, begrudgingly married and completely removed from the concept of boundaries, he could only get worse with a pint in his hand.
"I have some unmarried cousins who would look great on you", Tahara piled onto the mess she herself caused, "Do you want a blind date with her?"
"Or look around the dept", Hanao exclaimed, his ugly habit of getting loud when he got drunk seeping in, "so many young, beautiful ladies are lining up for you!"
Yuki couldn't help but notice the discomfort on the faces of the "ladies" in question, their gaze downcasted or unsubtly turned away.
"Hanao, that's not fair to them", Yuki finally interfered, treading carefully so as not to trigger another terrible habit Hanao got up his sleeves when alcohol got into his system - getting angry, "they are not lining up for me, I'm sure."
"Nonsense", the older man dismissed, waving him off. Yuki's back felt cold as Hanao fully turned to his younger female colleagues who had gotten stiff and awkward, walled in by the long table and the crowd of coworker.
"Wouldn't you ladies want him? He's a bit dull and quiet, but he's a good kid. He is handsome, and his wallet is thick, too. I'm telling you, if you want a chance you better be quick."
The young women politely tried to move on from the topic, but it only fueled his insistence. Stressed out that Hanao was stuck on talking about marriage, Yuki finished his drink painstakingly fast. Hazy now, he landed the pint harshly.
"Excuse me... I should go for a smoke."
"Hey, what's the rush? Are you embarrassed?", Hanao asked, "It's okay Sakamoto, men only get finer with age! Sit down, I think Ms. Sasaki is interested, right?"
Yuki was already standing up with a cigarette in his mouth by the time Sasaki meekly protested. Something about "Mr. Hanao, you're so mean. He will hate me now!"
He looked at the girl. Yuki barely remembered any interaction they had with each other. Did they ever even talk? She was smiley, cheerful, and she had a sweet voice, but he didn't find anything reeling him in. In fact, the expectant look on her face as she tried to make eye contacts made Yuki queazy. Nervous and tense, he excused himself without even acknowledging her presence.
Sometimes, the body remembers things the mind tries to forget.
The smell of food followed him outside. Yuki hurried to a street corner, anxious for that first hit of nicotine to cool his head. Tipsy and disoriented, he was fumbling with the lighter when he saw you. He must had missed you slipping out of the party when Tahara and Hanao cornered him with their tedious talk of marriage. You were on your phone. Your thumbs were still hovering over the bright screen when you. Clearing his throat to make his presence know, Yuki was startled by the blank stare you gave his way.
"Everything okay?", he asked and walked over to stand by your side. Your eyes didn't follow his movement. You looked straight ahead, your face drained of any expression.
"Yes", you tried to sound casual, but your voice were light as air, "everything is fine."
He finally managed to light his cigarette. The first pull was long and crisp. His flexed shoulders dropped as he leaned against the wall and sigh, satisfied. From the corner of his eyes, he could see you tapping on your phone, your fingers typing up a storm. Something was wrong, he could tell, but he didn't want to push. Beside, he was just drunk enought to feel content keeping your company in silence.
It was by the second cigarette that you peeped: "can I have one, Sakamoto?"
That messed with his buzz. Propping himself upright, he turned over to face you.
"No."
You didn't respond. Instead, you stared at him with desperate eyes and quivering lips. Yuki watched your fingers curling up and flexing. A twinge in his chest made him drop the stern tone.
"What happened?"
You hung your head. Your quiet, exasperated voice was almost swallowed by the city's white noise: "please..."
He sighed and fished out one, seeing that it was no use persuading you. His hand hesitated as yours reached over, starved.
"You've quitted for 3 years. You were doing good."
You didn't say anything.
"Are you sure?" He asked for the last time, and the ache in his chest tugged again as he saw you nodding. He handed over the stick and watched helplessly as you stuck it between your teeth. As a last ditch effort, he tossed his lighter into the nearby dumpster.
"I'm sorry", he sighed and took another drag, puffing smoke out his nose, "you can call me a hypocrite, I deserve it. But I just can't-
He was cut off by your cool skin grazing his own as you took his cigarette right out of his mouth. Gently, you placed the burning end onto your unlit one and pulled until you've successfully kindled.
"I'm sorry", you choked, handing back what you'd stolen. He took it, slow and bewildered.
"It's okay. I'm worried, though. Did Lukas do something weird? You know you can tell me."
Your shoulders closed in. You couldn't look him in the eyes.
"No, not Lukas."
__
Lukas didn't like the hot, crawling excitement his body manifested when you were near. He couldn't focus. After the concert, he didn't want to face you. He tried to tell himself many things: you weren't any hotter than the girls he had back in college, you were too independent, you didn't bother to act feminine,... Didn't matter. You had something else that he wanted.
That was why no matter how tedious and stressful the dinner party was for him, someone who didn't know a lick of Japanese, he would rather sit in silence than to talk to you. You were quiet next to him, as if lost in thought. The entire day, he had noticed you spacing out and getting distracted. It was out of the ordinary for someone as put-together as you to keep saying "I'm sorry, I must have forgotten". The final straw was when you blankly sipped on your drink only to spill on your skirt. You didn't even react, only sighing and wiping it off with the tissue he handed over.
"Excuse me", your voice was monotone, "I'm going to the bathroom."
He didn't know who that was directed at. Only him, he assumed, since everyone else were lost in their own coversation. Seeing that your beer had splashed on the floor near where you sat, he reached over to wipe it off. His hand was nearby the phone you had forgotten when it buzzed, its screen lighting up.
"He is going through an episode again"
Lukas never thought of himself as someone who would snoop - after all, he never really cared for any women to reach that point - yet that text from your mother stirred up a morbid sense of curiosity. He watched the bright screen blinking again as another text popped up.
"Please... talk to your brother. He's threatening to do it again."
The screen door slid open, snapping him out of it. Quicking resuming his position, he smiled at you who were carefully finding your way back to your seat, side-stepping your coworkers. Your weary smile was poorly faked.
Lukas' heart beat fast. He was itching to ask you about what he saw, though he decided to hold it in. He didn't know how to begin the conversation without admitting that he had violated your privacy...that would warrant a strong reaction. Yet, within his curiosity, Lukas caught a glimpse of anticipation. How would you look at him, if you were to get mad? He tried to imagine you scowling, your jaw flexed and fists clenched. He wonder if you would curse him out. Maybe, you would even hit him.
God, he hoped you would.
Lost in a fantasy, he was grounded again when you softly excused yourself out "for some fresh air". Nobody paid any mind when you rushed off, your feet barely touching the ground.
Maybe now wouldn't be a good time to test out the validity of his craving. Lukas drew his attention to the rest of the party, trying to forget about it. He didn't understand a single thing, but Sakamoto's side was getting loud: he saw the guy bashfully trying to get through a coversation before excusing himself shortly thereafter with a cigarette in his mouth.
Anxiety bubbled in his guts as he sat alone and confused, bothered by the mental image of you and Sakamoto outside, bumping into each other. Would Sakamoto notice something was up with you? He might - the senior was sensible and keen-eyed. Lukas wasn't in love with small details, but he had seen the way the man covered for your lies on the spot. Short on breath, he caught his own fingers playing with the hem of his button-down shirt. Lukas tried to remind himself that whatever fixation he had on you should come to a stop, but amidst a feverish daze he couldn't resist the instinct to insert himself into your narrative. He didn't care if your mood would worsen. In fact, he hoped it would. He hoped you would take it out on him. Pulling himself up, he hurried after you.
By the restaurant entrance Lukas looked left and right, his heart racing. He didn't like that the reason he chose to be out was to interrupt your conversation, so he convinced himself that he was looking for something else, like a convenient store to get a pack of smoke. After all, he had a bad habit of craving them when he drank. Maybe, he could even look for Sakamoto and ask for one.
Lukas walked down the street, his eyes scanning faces of strangers. They didn't look his way, blurring past him like shadows. He wondered if he looked the same to you - a flash of color that breezed by, flat, voiceless, inconsequential. He didn't have time to let that thought eat him away when he caught Sakamoto's tall form leaning against a wall, half of his body hidden in an alleyway. Lukas took a long stride toward the man only in time for the buildings to move to the backend of his vision, revealing you who were giving a lit cigarette back.
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It's no secret that consent online is just as important as consent irl. However, navigating consent on Tumblr can look a little bit different than in person. Here are some reminders on how to do so:
ASK before sending sexually forward messages or photos. Unless someone has it very clearly stated on their blog that they willingly accept sexual messages and photos, ask before you do so. Additionally, posting NSFW content ≠ consent. Remember that just because someone is not in a monogamous relationship does not necessarily mean they're seeking a partner or willing to flirt. If you're not sure, ASK!
RESPECT DNIs. Those are in place for a reason. People clearly state those who they are not comfortable interacting with. Do not cross that boundary. Especially respect age DNIs. No one under 18 should be engaging with NSFW content, but some blog set strict 21+ or 25+ rules.
BE CLEAR with your intentions. Tell that person exactly what you're looking for. Do not use the guise of friendship to seek out sexual attention. Do you want to just exchange messages or photos as well? Do you want something for just this once, or do you hope to maintain an ongoing relationship with this person?
"Yes" to exchanging sexual messages or sending photos is not a blanket statement. Be sure to establish boundaries/limits. This can include sexual acts that should not be discussed or whether or not you'll show your face in photos.
Understand that people's boundaries can change. Just because someone was once willing to exchange photos or sexual messages doesn't mean that they always will be. If they tell you "not right now" or "maybe later," that does not mean press them until they say yes. Respect the boundary and move on.
Not everyone wants to engage with NSFW content. Refrain from adding sexual tags/comments on SFW posts. Make your own post!
Respect "No" and "I'm not interested." Do not press someone or think you can change their mind. If someone blocks you, they want you to leave them alone. Do not make new blogs or message a sideblog to try to talk to them. If you saved photos they sent you, delete them.
Do not feel guilty about enforcing your own boundaries. If someone crosses a line, you have every right to tell them they made you uncomfortable or block them. You don't need to sacrifice your comfort level to appease others.
Be safe, remember consent, and have fun!!
#🎀#thank you to the lovely femme who helped me write this post#consent#sapphic nsft#lesbian nsft#wlw nsft#nsft
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GLOW UP DIARY #4 : THE IMPORTANCE OF BOUNDARIES
"when u laugh,u think more positively"
-Park sunghoon (enhypen)
© bloomzone
#4 BOUNDARIES
💬:Boundaries are limits we set for ourselves. Everyone's boundaries are different, and they are based on what is personally important to us. They can be set in several aspects of life, such as work, relationships, family, and in conflict it can be physical or emotional limits and help to determine a person's comfort level, needs, and preferences. Essentially, boundaries dictate how we want/ allow ourselves to be treated, and how we treat others. Healthy boundaries allow for accountability, respect, and open communication.
Drawing the Line: Understanding and Setting Healthy Boundaries
﹙ 💌 ﹚ If you grew up in a home where no boundaries were set or where people violated your boundaries, setting and maintaining boundaries may be difficult. It is okay if it is hard. Setting clear boundaries is not selfish, it sets the tone for healthy relationships and is an important part of one's own well being. If you ever notice you feel resentful or drained by a person/place/situation, it may be time to look at the boundaries. Remember, boundaries are not threats or ultimatums. Sometimes it is hard for other's to respect our boundaries, but this is not a reflection of you.
Healthy boundaries look like...
• valuing your own opinion
• respecting limits set by you/ others
• not compromising own values for someone else
• sharing information appropriately
• effectively communicating needs/wants
• accepting "no" from others
• being able to say "no"
• being able to identify when a boundary has been broken
TYPE OF BOUNDARIES
Physical Boundaries: These relate to personal space, physical touch, and privacy. Examples include not wanting to be hugged or feeling uncomfortable being touched without permission. "I need personal space and don't appreciate being touched without consent."
Emotional Boundaries: These separate your emotions and responsibilities from others. Examples include not allowing yourself to be blamed for someone else's issues or not taking on other people's problems. "I'm not comfortable discussing my personal feelings right now."
Mental Boundaries: These protect your beliefs, opinions, and identity from being violated. Examples include not arguing about your values or not allowing others to belittle your thoughts and ideas. "I respect your opinion, but I disagree and prefer not to discuss this further."
(there is a lot of types but I focused on these 3)
How to set boundaries
Setting boundaries may take time and practice. Don't get down on yourself if it feels hard.
1. Identify what behaviors from others is acceptable for you, and what might cause discomfort
2. Clearly communicate your boundaries with others. Learn to say no and be assertive.
3. Decide what to do if someone breaks your boundaries. This may mean a tough discussion, taking time away, or ending a relationship.
4. Get clear on your values, needs, and limits. Reflect on what's most important to you and where you need to draw lines.
5. Start small if it's hard at first. Practice with something minor before bigger issues.
6. Use "I" statements to explain your boundary without blaming, like "I'm not comfortable with..."
7. Be direct, firm, and respectful when stating your boundary. Don't over-explain or get defensive.
8. You can't control others' reactions, but you can control how you respond. Calmly reinforce the boundary if needed.
9. Be consistent in upholding your boundaries. If you allow them to be crossed, they won't be taken seriously.
ıllı ⠀ : ⠀ Remember setting and maintaining boundaries is not about controlling others but about creating a space where respectful and healthy interactions can thrive. ❛ ⠀ ♡ ⠀ !!
© bloomzone
#𝜗𝜚 ── ⊹ ‧#becoming that girl#wonyoungism#glow up#wonyoung#dream life#it girl#creator of my reality#divine feminine#it girl affirmations#love affirmations#it girl energy#stay focused#feminine energy#i attract#boundaries#sunghoon#dream girl tips#vanilla girl#self development#kpop#pink aesthetic#jang wonyoung#study aesthetic#mental health#skincare#self confidence#self improvement#fashion
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Whoops, you got hit by a bus, and now you're in the world of One Piece. But not everything is quite as you remember it...
General Tags: afab reader, she/her reader pronouns, isekai, monsterfucker reader, vampire!kid, werewolf!killer, wyrm!heat, minotaur!wire, everyone has a human form, smut heavy, unhealthy relationships, dubious consent, serious violence, spoilers for Wano arc, starts pre-timeskip. There will be a lot of more intense kinks, please check AO3 for all current tags.
Chapter 10 - Terms and Conditions
Now that you're part of the crew, it's time to set some ground rules.
WC: 4k
Masterlist | AO3 | Chapter 1
You sat sleepily in Heat's lap, well, not his lap really, more like the middle of his tail. It was coiled in a tight spiral, your rump sat firmly atop it, your back pressed against his warm chest and his warm arms around your center. His naturally hot body temperature soothed the aches you still had from yesterday, he was taking such good care of you, knowing how worn out you were from taking most of the crew. He graciously hadn't attempted to mount you, but he hovered close by, which was welcomed given his sweet doting and care you were very much in need of. Your joints ached from the positions you'd been in for such a long period of time and your pussy was raw and aching. You didn't speak more than needed and Killer had provided soft foods, knowing your jaw was stiff from all the pussy eating and cock sucking you'd done. You were happy though. You felt content, and finally safe and secure in your position here. Well, as safe as you could be, now that you were officially a pirate.
“Now then Mouse,” Kid grinned, “let's make things official, aye? We believe ya story now, or at least we're trying our best to. It's still hard to accept yer from another universe. But you've at least proven your usefulness to us, so ya can stay on the crew. How bout it, Mouse? Ya wanna join my crew?”
“Yes captain,” you smiled sleepily, “will my job here be as your… bed warmer?”
“Aye, you'll be our ship whore,” Kid smirked, “only for the four of us here though, unless we decide to give someone a night with ya as a reward. You good with that?”
“Yes captain, as long as my boundaries are respected,” you stated.
“Of course lass,” Kid replied, “Wire will draw up a contract for ya later. He's the most knowledgeable here, he'll make sure your boundaries are laid out for us. Everyone we let have you will be made clear of your conditions. You're still up for the four of us free using you, aye? It was your original offer. I did let you live, after all.”
“Within limits, yeah,” you responded, trying to not let your lust-addled brain distract you from an important conversation. Being free used by four big, strong, attractive, well endowed men? Ohhhh what a horror, the worst thing you could imagine. “I like what we've got going on. Will I be given a share of the loot like the others?”
“Of course lass,” Kid chuffed, “if anything you'll be paid better. You'll be saving us a great deal of money by servicing us instead of having to spend money on island whores. We'll give you your own room, for convenience. Everyone else shares but the four of us, but I'm not sure anyone is keen on losing sleep whenever we have need of ya. There's a lounge in the castle we barely use, we'll have it cleared out for ya. We're on our way back to Sabaody as we speak, you can go to the shops and get whatever you need to get set up once we dock. We'll back pay you for your time since ya started servicing us.”
“Thank you captain,” you replied gratefully. You didn't expect him to pay you for your time as a prisoner. “That's generous of you. I won't let you down.”
“You'll probably find your bed doesn't get much use, unless you're in need of a break,” Kid continued with a chuckle, “but it'll give you somewhere to keep your shit anyway.
“Speaking of resting,” you interjected, “I had a bit of an idea. In terms of the free-using. I was wondering if you'd make me a more long term wearable collar, something that won't irritate my skin, thin perhaps. With a tag that has your jolly roger. I thought maybe we could use it as a signal, if I'm not wearing the collar then I'm in need of rest.”
“EXCELLENT IDEA!” Kid roared, spooking you a little as he thumped his fist against the table, “I'll make ya a collar that'll make everyone jealous of ya!”
“Thank you, captain,” you smiled, nuzzling sleepily against Heat's bicep.
“Tired, Mouse?” Kid smirked.
“Mmm,” you mumbled, “I feel like I'm hungover from yesterday. Drunk on dick I guess. And pussy.”
Killer and Wire snorted while Kid made a boisterous laugh. “Before you fall asleep,” Killer jumped in, “is there anything we need to know for the immediate future?”
“Mmm,” you mumbled, trying to sit upright, to which Heat helped you, nuzzling his face against your back, “you need to get the ship coated before Ace's execution, cos after that the only coater I know will be busy.”
“Where do we find him?” Wire asked.
“You're all familiar with the coater already, in fact you met him the other day,” you alluded, “Silvers Rayleigh, he can coat the ship. You'll find him, or at least his wife, Shakky, in grove thirteen at Shakky's Rip-Off Bar. You unintentionally helped his friend rescue that mermaid by helping the Straw Hats escape, so he should be amenable to coating the ship.”
“He's the coater?” Kid exclaimed, “the fuck is the ‘Dark King’ doing coating ships?”
“Paying for his alcoholism, mostly,” you yawned, making the others snort laughs.
“Alright then Sleeping Beauty,” Kid laughed, before his smile fell to a more serious expression, “we don't have to worry about this whole execution shit, right?”
“There'll be a war, but your crew won't be involved,” you replied, “it'll all happen over at the marine base. You'll just see it on a screen on Sabaody.”
“Alright then,” Kid huffed, pleased and relieved with your answer. It was no secret that there was tension in the air regarding the execution and whether returning to Sabaody was even safe tight now. There were reports that Whitebeard was on the move to save Ace, and it made Kid uneasy, but he trusted your prediction, you hadn't let him down thus far. “Go get some rest then princess, we promise we'll behave till you're up to it. I'll have that collar for ya before your pussy is ready to get destroyed again.”
Kid winked as he stood and grabbed a boob as he passed by, making you squeal and slap his hand playfully as the captain chuckled. You started to stand as well, but Heat swung you onto his back to carry you, making you giggle as you grabbed his horns for support. “Giddy up!” You laughed. He pretended to buck you, which only made you giggle more, Killer shaking his head with a grin under his mask as Heat carried you out. He and Heat were in high spirits, overly relieved and happy that your story had been proven true and you got to stay. You'd promised Heat to do some sunbathing with him on top of the dinosaur skull while the sun was out, it was a good excuse for a nap and a cuddle really.
You hopped off Heat's back as he made it up, he was surprisingly fast and agile in this form. It'd made you curious as to why he didn't use this form more, to which he had told you that it ‘wasn't polite’ to go around in that form, whatever that meant. Maybe it was like how zoan fruit users usually stayed in their human form? Heat laid down first, making a pleased grunt as his head rested on the pillow he'd chucked up here earlier, his long tail stretching along the skull like an arrow pointed at the distant Sabaody that hovered on the horizon.
“I'm really glad you get to stay,” Heat hummed as you got comfy next to him, resting your head on his chest, tucked into the crook of his armpit.
“Yeah, me too,” you murmured back with a big yawn. Heat gave you a soft smile and a little squeeze before the yawn caught him too.
“Alright, ready to get started?” Wire asked, tapping the tip of the feathered pen against the page in front of him, “I've made a list of kinks the crew like to indulge in. You just let me know which ones you're comfortable with. Ready?”
“Yup!” You smiled back sweetly, leaning forward and resting your face in your palm, your elbow against the table. It was just you and Wire in the navigation room, he didn't want you to have the pressure of the others watching you and potentially pressuring you into things you weren't comfortable with.
“First item - free use for the four commanders, under the circumstances that your collar is on. That much I know you're good with, but what about outside of that?” He asked.
“A big maybe,” you replied, “I'm a regular woman without the collar. If they can seduce me, sure. But I reserve the right to deny them without consequence.”
“Okay, seems reasonable,” he replied, the pen making scratching noises as he jotted it down, “I have a list of things you've already participated in, so I'll just run through them quickly so you can confirm them for the contract. Touching of all body parts, vaginal fingering, vaginal penetration, cunnilingus, blow jobs, deep throating, face fucking, use of strap on, cum on body including face and genitals and inclusive of female cum, cum in mouth, creampies. Threesome, degradation, praise, bathing together, face riding, both giving and receiving, those are the basics, yes to all of the above?”
“Can we make an amendment for no cum near my eyes?” You asked him, “otherwise yes to everything else.”
“No cum near eyes, got it,” he wrote on the page, “the next set is things you've done that are on the more intense side. Gangbang, bukkake, self-wetting, humiliation, somnophilia, exhibitionism, bondage, pet play and master/servant dynamics, both as dominant and submissive. Amenable to all of those?”
“Somnophilia is the sleep one, yeah?” You queried.
“Aye,” Wire confirmed.
“Okay, yeah that's fine,” you confirmed, “but um… I don't want Heat watching me use the toilet anymore. And I'm not eating out of a bowl or shitting in a litterbox.”
“Noted,” Wire replied, scribbling that down, “you were fine with the self-wetting though? What about other watersports?”
“I've never tried but, I'm not not curious,” you replied unsurely, “the self-wetting was… enlightening.”
“I'll put it down as a maybe, for future experimentation. You can change your mind later if you want, same goes for anything on this list,” Wire assured you, “now for the requests. Anal fingering, mouth to ass, anal sex. Receiving and giving. Thoughts?”
“Yeah, those are fine. I've done a few on the giving end as well, but I guess that person wanted to keep it to himself,” you noted, “just uh… only receiving the whole way with proper lubrication. No spit as lube bullshit unless it's only fingers.”
“Got it,” Wire confirmed, “next up, use of toys such as dildos and vibrators, use of nipple clamps, impact play, with hands and equipment. Bondage such as shibari, cuffs, bed, wall and furniture mounted restraints. Sensory deprivation. Tickling. Forced orgasms. Edging. Thoughts?”
“No to the tickling, limited to impact play. I'm not a fan of pain,” you explained, “light smacking is fine, but you can cross off anything too painful, otherwise yes to everything else.”
“I'll cross off knife play and hook suspension,” Wire said as his pen ran a line through several items, “next set. Foot play, non-con roleplay, softcore roleplay such as maid, fisting, sex under the influence of alcohol and drugs, use of purpose built furniture such as breeding benches, double penetration, of separate holes and of multiple cocks in one hole.” Wire looked at you expectantly, his pen paused over the page.
“Uhh, no to fisting,” you ran through the list in your head trying to make sure you remembered everything, “um… yes to one in the ass, one in the cunt. Maybe to two in my cunt, I've never tried. Definitely no to two in my ass.”
“I think you could manage two in one,” Wire smirked, “as long as I wasn't one of them. You took me so well.”
“Mmm, I certainly want to try,” you hummed, “quit reminding me of your big beefy cock or I won't be able to concentrate.”
“We're almost done,” Wire snorted and shook his head, “anything else not on this contract, we'll ask first. You'll be paid the same split as Heat and I get. You'll use the colour system for safe words regardless of if your collar is on or not. Green when prompted to go ahead, orange if something needs to change or you need a break, red if you need to stop. No consequences will come from using the safe words so please don't be afraid to use them. By signing this you agree to remain up to date with your birth control unless an explicit agreement is made to impregnate you, you may expect that from Heat or Killer, Kid and I aren't the type to want babies. If an accident happens, Kid promises not to kick you off the ship. The rest of the crew will keep their hands off you unless you give them permission, otherwise a maximum of once a week we may choose to allow them a night with you as a reward. You won't allow anyone outside of this ship to touch you without permission from your captain. You will remain on this crew unless relieved of your contract by the captain. You'll also be given regular STI screening, as the four of us do, and all other crewmates will be required to use protection with you. Do you agree to all these terms?”
“Sounds good to me,” you hummed, openly ogling Wire's muscular torso, “you wanna fuck?”
“Sign here first,” he shuffled the page over to you and you quickly signed it, biting your lip as he stood and rounded the table. He loomed over you from behind your chair, running his hand up your neck until his hand was sweeping your chin up, forcing you to look at him. You pushed aside the page with its drying ink and sat on the edge of the table, spreading your legs for Wire to slot between them.
“What happened to having a sore cunt?” Wire mused, running his thumb over your lower lip, pressing against the soft flesh. He was all for fucking you, he'd been thinking a lot about your tight cunt and wanted to take his time with you. He worried though that you were ignoring your limits.
“Well you see there's this thing called ‘remembering how fucking big and hot your cock is’ and unfortunately I'm no good at disagreeing with my pussy, she wants what she wants,” you purred back up at him, peeking out your tongue to lick his digit before taking it in your mouth, humming as you sucked his thumb.
“You're so cute when you're being submissive,” Wire grinned, replacing his thumb with his pointer and middle finger and gagging you with them, “I have been wanting to get a taste of that pretty cunt of yours. No collar though,” he hummed, running his finger down your neck and tracing a trail of saliva over where the collar would sit, “so I have to ask, can I taste you, princess?”
“Please do,” you huffed, pulling your legs up so your feet rested on the table, showing off your flexibility as you sat back. You'd never properly redressed after waking up, still just wearing one of Heat's old shirts, large enough to fit as a baggy dress on you, your pussy exposed and inviting underneath. You tugged on the hem of the shirt to reveal yourself to Wire, who hummed appreciatively as he ran his thumb between your folds.
“Already wet for me,” Wire cooed as he knelt, “such a good girl.”
He kissed your thighs softly, making you giggle, before his teeth sunk into the soft flesh and the giggle turned to a moan. He nipped you a few more times before his tongue ran a fat stripe up your cunt, and your hand pushed away his hood to tug at his short hair. His tongue lapped against your pussy as he pulled your legs to rest over his shoulders, giving the occasional suck of your bud that made you whine. He was clearly enjoying himself as well, grunting against your cunt as his tongue bullied its way inside you, licking at your walls while his hand looped over your thigh to thumb your clit. You could feel his pointed sideburns against your thighs as he ate you out, his thumb making small, firm circles on your bud as his thick tongue wiggled inside you.
“Oh fuck that's good,” you moaned, laying back against the table, “just like that, fuck.”
His other hand weaselled up under his chin, the end of his middle finger toying with your asshole and spreading the slick and spit that had rolled down around the ring before sinking in. There was a spark of electricity in your clit as his finger pushed inside your ass, not quite finger fucking you, just toying with your hole for extra stimulation. It made that coil in your stomach pull tight, your back arching off the table as you fisted his hair, holding him tight against you. You could feel the coy grin he made against your cunt, and you made the mistake of looking down, immediately catching his eyes that were watching you carefully from between your legs. Those fucking eyes, they always did something to you, and you threw back your head with a groan, cumming on his tongue, his finger forced out of your ass by the contractions your orgasm made.
He gave you a few more greedy licks that made you shiver before he stood, making a show out of unfastening his pants and laying his thick erection against your stomach as his shorts and briefs pooled at his ankles. He rut his cock between your folds, getting his shaft coated in slick and spit and rubbing against your over-stimulated clit. “You're so pretty like this, blissed out with my cock laying against you,” he noted, “pull your shirt up, I wanna see your tits.”
You obediently did as he asked in your post orgasm daze, squishing and kneading your tits for his enjoyment. He groaned as you pulled at your own nipples, your hips rolling to grind against his shaft on their own accord. “You want it bad, huh? Cute little bunny, horny little thing,” Wire purred, putting more force into the rutting. He took himself in his hand and pressed the head of his cock against your entrance, pushing only the tip in and stretching you out. That on its own was enough to make you whine and try to shift to take more of him. “So greedy, trying to get more already. I'm gonna have fun taking my time with you,” he teased, pulling his tip out and sinking it back in over and over, making you whine at the emptiness each time he removed himself.
“Please!” You begged, “want it, want it so bad.”
“Yeah? You want this?” He asked, suddenly sinking himself in, to what he knew was your limit, before entirely leaving you empty again, his cock rubbing against your clit. “Use your words baby.”
“Want- want your fat cock,” you whimpered, “want it splitting me open. Wanna feel you filling me, please.”
“Such a good girl,” Wire cooed, bullying his cock back inside you, but not moving any further. You only said you wanted it inside you, you never said anything about moving. Wire was a master of restraint, any of the others would have already been fucking your brains out by now, while he enjoyed watching you writhe against the table as he warmed his cock. “That feel good, baby? You like keeping my cock nice and warm?”
“Y-yes,” you whined, “feels so full, hnng. Fuck me Wire, please, please please please.”
“Well, since you asked so nicely,” he toyed, before pulling out most of the way and slamming back in, prompting a scream from you at the sudden heavy thrust. He did it over and over, pulling out slowly, then pushing in hard and fast, driving you insane as you got enough stimulation to feel incredible but never enough to sustain the building orgasm, and you got the feeling that was purposeful. Wire was only doing exactly as you asked, he was testing you, teasing you to see how far you would go to beg for it. You reached between your legs to rub your clit, but he quickly grabbed your wrists and folded them against your chest, pinning you down.
“Please,” you begged, “more, please, wanna cum on your cock so bad.”
“How bad do you want it?” Wire teased, “what are you gonna give me in return?”
“Anything!” You cried, “please, anything, please fuck me harder!”
“You're gonna let me frost your face, and you're gonna wear it for the rest of the day,” Wire growled, “you're not washing it off till bedtime. Everyone's gonna see what a little slut you are.”
“Yes! Yes!” You whined, trying and failing to fight his hold to try and fuck yourself with his cock, “please, please, please.”
“Good girl,” Wire praised, before finally committing to a hard and fast pace that had you shrieking and seeing stars. Your pussy made obscene squelches as he fucked it, Wire making grunts and tightening his grip on your arms as he used you like a cock sleeve, loving the way your pussy was already fluttering around him, so desperate to cum, choking his cock like it was desperate for him to breed you. “You gonna squirt for me, bunny? Gonna make a mess?”
“Y-yes,” you moaned, unable to escape his hold as he started to overstimulate you, making you dizzy as you felt your orgasm rushing at you. “C-cumming!” You shouted before your thighs clamped around him and shook hard, cum dripping off the side of the table and on to the rug below, some of it drenching his abdomen. His cock never stopped pumping you, the wet sounds now increased tenfold with the added lubrication while you squealed and writhed before finally stilling with a heavy pant.
“Good whore,” Wire purred, “such a good girl.” You barely heard what he was saying, practically lifeless against the table, all you could do was whimper pathetically. Wire got close to his own peak and pulled out, climbing onto the table and straddling your chest. He pumped his cock over you, pleased by the half-lidded puppy dog eyes you were giving him, too weak and fucked out to do more than lick the end of his cock or feebly suck on the tip when he pushed it between your lips. “Close your eyes sweetheart,” he cooed. No sooner had you closed them did he grunt, and you heard his palm hit the table next to your face for support as the first hot spurts of cum hit your face, aimed mostly for your lips and cheek, some of it getting in your hair. It was a large load, and you could already feel it start to drip as he panted, rolling off you to lay on the table beside you, his legs hanging over the edge while yours were folded up, feet against the edge, knees together and still shaking.
“What do you say?” He teased.
“Th-thank you,” you whined.
“Good girl,” he huffed, before surprising you with his softness as he linked his hand with yours, “you're gonna do well here, and we're gonna take good care of you.”
“Mmm,” you replied sleepily, resting your eyes for a moment and enjoying his warm hand encompassing yours. Later you would go to dinner with Wire's cum still coating your face, sitting in his lap so it was clear to everyone who's cum it was. Everyone told you how pretty you looked, and promised they'd paint you too soon.
[Next Chapter] - coming soon
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