#regrettably it never goes away

[moutheyes]

gelboys cinematography go brrr: episode 3

people seemed to enjoy my previous post on the exquisite cinematography in gelboys so I might as well go ahead and yap to my heart's content about it. here's what i noticed + loved in episode 3:

reversing chian's POV

@aikawa-kazuki has a great breakdown of the layering in the scene towards the beginning of the episode, which shows chian "stuck" between bua and fourmod. but when we got to the end of the episode, I lost my marbles over these shots:

because now, after spending the entire episode with chian, marinating in his headspace, we finally get to see his POV of that same scenario (now with added misery, having gone through it once already). and we get it threefold! 1) behind the shoulder shot, once again establishing those delicious layers; 2) the intimate straight-on reaction shot of his face as his expression falls; 3) most devastatingly, the camera then assumes his POV, showing the audience exactly what he sees: the possibility of fourmod, who is in the center of his vision but chian's not sure he wants to commit yet, and the unreachability of bua behind him, attention snagged elsewhere.

at the start of the episode, he goes to fourmod and plays it cool. at the end of the episode, he chooses to be alone...

chian's visual motif: an island in chaotic waters

... but chian actually is alone, a lot. @tinrange breaks down the implied context of chian's social life and his lack of human connection, and the knowledge that he's living alone, separated from his family, drives that home even more. in the scenes above, bua is always with moo, while fourmod has his gang of friends, and chian is by himself. but even when he's with his classmates, he cuts a lonely figure, and the cinematography highlights that, whether it's situating him alone in a cluttered—albeit empty—house (think back to the boisterous fullness of fourmod's house, for comparison) or with others but somehow still the odd man out. there was also a snippet of conversation that implied chian had already been accepted to a uni program, so while his classmates are studying or even just hanging out, he's left to his own devices, scrolling endlessly through social media or binging shows on 2.0x speed (fantastic detail btw).

that's why this subway shot was so effective, as it pans from the train emptying at the final stop back to chian, alone with his angst. the external space finally reflects his internal state.

framing digital fantasy vs. reality

jumping back to the very first scene to quickly talk about the transition here between the portrait mode recording of chian and bua doing their dance challenge and the following shot, which brings the viewer back into "real" space—the physical reality behind what we see on a screen, basically. the framing is the same, but the field of vision in landscape mode gains both width and depth. instead of chian and bua dancing next to each other on the same plane, he's now separated from bua and moo, diminished due to the camera's perspective and his seated position—as well as his emotional state.

panning + tilting across POVs

something I've really enjoyed about gelboys is the use of the slow, deliberate pan to shift POVs within a scene. usually panning and tilting are used to create suspense and/or reveal new information (ref. the train scene above), but here it's also used to extend the take, to let the viewer sit inside of a scene for longer while still providing a change of perspective or additional information. it's hard to illustrate effectively without gifs (and I currently lack the ad*be access to make them myself) but I'll try my best. here's a simple example:

this is a continuous shot that pans very slightly from left to right. at first the camera is centered on fourmod, with chian only partially framed—but still enough to let the viewer see his expressions clearly. after chian says he'll wait with fourmod until his phone is charged, we get the following information: fourmod's pleased little smile followed by chian turning away to avoid [fill in the blank—fourmod's earnestness? his own feelings?], and, as the camera moves to center his face, a complicated little smile.

this kind of transition happens a few times in each episode. the following scene was the most effective use of it, and was combined with a more definitive POV shift via cut:

the first two frames show the shift from chian's POV to fourmod's, as chian rejects fourmod's choice of sappy IG caption. the camera tilts down to focus on fourmod's expression as it goes from forced smile to crestfallen. this time, chian's face isn't kept in the frame; the viewer no longer knows what he's thinking as he decides to end the date and leave. the cut that happens there situates the camera firmly in fourmod's POV to close out the scene. (while chian is the POV character for this episode, fourmod is technically the protagonist of the entire series so this wasn't super jarring, and the initial tilt shot helped ease that visual transition anyway.)

the rollerblading scene also uses panning to briefly change POVs, and the way it does it is kinda clever, switching the moment fourmod takes a picture of chian, but all of my screenshots look dumb. my eternal devotion for a gifset of this scene...

don't forget about baa... he's there...

yeah. can't wait for sad boys club next week!! :')

[ddarker-dreams]

What Remains Unspoken.

Yan Chrollo x F Reader x Yan Feitan

Warnings: Yandere themes & unhealthy relationships. Word count: 2.2k.

If there’s anywhere Feitan looks out of his element, it’s in the sun. 

The celestial object serves as his antitheses — warm, bright, and inviting. Given his pallid countenance, he must agree. On the rare occasions you can go outside, he keeps to the shadows, whose darkness could never match the depravity festering inside his rotten soul. You believe night itself would flee from him if it knew a fraction of his crimes. 

When you first saw him enter direct sunlight, a certain superstition overtook you, triumphing over reason. You observed with tentative expectation, waiting for something to happen, whatever that something may be. For his skin to break out into blisters, flesh to sizzle, and howls of agony to dominate the air as he disintegrated into a pile of ash; in short, a demise befitting a monster like himself. Regrettably, this didn’t happen. Disappointment weighed heavy on your chest when he went on his merry way. 

Presently, he stands hidden amidst a cluster of trees, acting every bit the fairytale ghoul your overactive imagination wished him to be. Through the branches' interstices, light speckles his dark outerwear. It’s a hot, balmy day, though evening’s arrival soothes the worst of the heat. 

Unlike him, you’re dressed for the weather. This morning, upon leaving your shower, you found the comfortable clothes you picked out beforehand ‘mysteriously’ replaced. A short, light blue dress featuring a sweetheart neckline and spaghetti straps laid there instead. That wasn’t all. Jewelry, heels, and other various accessories were tossed haphazardly alongside it, like you’d been undecided on what to wear before a first date. Except you hadn’t been the one to get everything out. Feitan was. Prior to that, he never took any interest in what you wore. 

No, that attribute belongs to another, whose memory fills you with sickening dread. 

You sit at a wooden picnic table, examining the park’s abundant foliage. There’s little else for you to do. Feitan’s yet to give any indication as to why you’re here. Typically, his modus operandi consists of stashing you far away from the public’s purview. From time to time, you’ll travel elsewhere, always using methods that limit your potential interactions with others. This part of the park may be less populated, but hikers and families can still stroll by. You take care not to draw attention to yourself when they do. 

Sighing, you stand, fully aware of the eyes monitoring you in the distance. Unsure of what else to do, you approach the last place you spotted Feitan. He says nothing as you approach. You hug yourself, almost regretting your decision to seek him out. By giving you no parameters to work with, you’re left constantly second-guessing yourself, fearing that you’ve broken some unspoken rule. Standing by his side feels like a safer bet than risking a stranger coming over to strike up a conversation. 

“Bored?” Feitan asks. 

You freeze, thinking over your next words with care. If he believes this little outing is a ‘privilege’, you doubt he’d appreciate you maligning it. Then again, he’s suggested creative punishments for your tongue whenever it’s formed a lie. Considering this, you decide it’s best to redirect the conversation. 

“I’m just wondering if there’s anything I should be doing,” you say. When he raises a thin eyebrow, you hastily add, “Sorry, I mean—” 

He flicks your forehead, silencing you. 

“So nervous,” he croons. “Like little rabbit.” 

Irritation bubbles up inside your chest, like a geyser ready to erupt. You want to scoff, asking why he thinks that is, but the provocation goes unchallenged. He isn’t wrong, per se. Every snap of a twig or distant conversation the wind carries instills unease. Endless grisly possibilities swarm your mind. All it could take is a greeting, wave, hell, even a look for Feitan to decide that person’s committed the ultimate transgression. 

Suddenly, this preoccupation flees your mind.

Shivers erupt all over your body. Your breathing halts, as do all other forms of movement. The five senses that categorize and make sense of the world recede, like the shoreline moments before a tsunami. What remains eclipses common sense. It’s this unprovable premonition, a whisper amidst the universe’s chaotic chorus few can ever hear. No tangible stimuli support this phenomenon. You’d believe yourself temporarily mad, if not for one damning detail. 

You’ve felt this before. 

The time you’d been found after your first (and only) escape. 

After a well-meaning Hunter pried you from the shackles of captivity, for less than a minute. 

Then, at the height of your hubris, when you yelled that your first love would be your last. 

The intensity honed to a fine point. It pierced through you like a gunshot, so visceral that you’d check yourself for signs of the wound. You never found anything. You think it was how your brain wanted to make sense of the unknown, mistaking the force of concentrated emotion for a flesh wound. This extremity wasn’t kind, but it wasn’t malevolent either; it was oppressive. Heavy, carnal. A starved beast prowling toward cornered prey. 

When you’d been subjected to this, the subjugator always spoke some variation of— 

“—Apologies. My control waned there, for a moment… but can you blame me?” 

Someone’s touching you. Someone’s cupping your face in their hands, devouring each detail of your being, and Feitan’s letting them. You stumble back, only to be caught. The hands holding you in place are larger than Feitan’s. Warmer too, a little less calloused, though no less stained in oceans of blood. If Feitan’s eyes are knife-like, trying to stab through your skull for any hint at your inner thoughts, then these eyes are calm. Calculating in a way that makes you feel small. 

“You’re lovelier than I remember,” the man murmurs. A breeze passes through, displacing your hair, which he tucks back into place. His lips twitch upward, indicating amusement. “What? Did you believe you’d ridden yourself of me?” 

Despite your reverie, you shake your head. The man before you — Chrollo Lucilfer — smiles. It’s deceptively soft. Had you not known him better, you’d think the fondness he currently regards you with as warm; the gentle flames of a hearth. There are tells that reveal another story. His grip varies in strength as he’s reminded of how delicate you are, indicating a lack of his usual ‘mindfulness.’ You both know he’s putting on a front of normalcy, yet the charade is rarely this lackluster. He descended upon you faster than the human eye could comprehend. There’d been no casual stride, just an impulse to have you as immediately as physics would allow. His pupils are dilated and his cheeks slightly flushed, like you were a substance to get drunk off of. 

The embrace he pulls you into is tight enough to make you squeak. 

You expect him to rile you up, whispering teasing words into your ear, yet he’s silent. Unusually so. He buries his face into the crook of your exposed neck, breathing you in, holding you close. Any pretense of cordiality is dropped as he acts like the greedy man he truly is. This neediness is reminiscent of a child reunited with their lost, favorite toy. 

The unsettling intimacy doesn’t last for long. 

Chrollo releases you from his grasp. The relief is fleeting, as you’re acutely aware of Feitan’s presence. He’s stationed not far behind you, watching the scene in silence. The sadistic man’s capacity to share fully eluded your understanding. From what you can remember, Chrollo’s more willing to discuss their past, but solely on his terms. He’s never explained why Feitan is the way he is, or how he views you. 

“He’s fond of you, in his own way,” is the most you got out of Chrollo, during a late-night talk. “He’s just shy.” 

“It’s good to see you again, Fei,” Chrollo greets. 

Feitan nods — his way of returning the sentiment, you reckon. In Chrollo’s absence, you’ve learned to interpret his behavior to minimize friction. The deference he has for Chrollo is subtle yet undeniable. Others might misinterpret Feitan’s silence as indifference, but you know better. In Chrollo’s presence, he straightens his posture, giving him rapt attention. He follows any order given by his boss. 

Especially those regarding you. 

Ever since that fateful September, Feitan went from a background character in your life to the lead role. He didn’t reveal much, just that you wouldn’t see ‘the boss’ anytime soon, as he needed to ‘fix things.’ York New was a sore subject that you rarely broached. Nearly ten months have passed since you’ve last seen Chrollo. Physically, he’s the same. There are bandages wrapped around his forehead, covering his forehead tattoo. He’s wearing his teal earrings, dark jeans, and a gray v-neck. 

Seeing him now, it’s almost like nothing’s changed. 

Almost. 

“Lost in thought, love?” Chrollo wonders. 

Blinking rapidly, you realize they’re both staring at you, awaiting an answer. 

“You’re… you’re back,” is your genius observation.

“I am.” 

“You were… um… gone,” you fiddle with your fingers, “For a long time.” 

“I was,” he agrees with a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. You see dark circles forming beneath them. “This entire affair has proven itself tedious. No matter. In a few short days, it’ll all be over.” 

“There’s more to take care of?” 

He hums, the sound low and somehow eerie. “You could put it that way. Originally, I was going to wait until after I evened one last score to see you, but impatience got the best of me.” 

“Ah,” you shift your weight from foot to foot. “That explains it, then.” 

“Explains what, dear?” 

“You seem, I don’t know… off? Creepy to the second power? Cubed?” 

Chrollo gives you a blank stare. Feitan’s hissing something about how you ‘talk too much,’ his displeasure evident. It dawns on you then that you haven’t interacted with Chrollo in so long, it’s possible his tolerance for your nonsense isn’t what it once was. Especially considering the state he’s in now. Regret churns your insides as silence fills the air, thickening it like smoke. You think to apologize, only to recall their dislike for insincerity. Feitan never wanted apologies, whereas Chrollo accepted them if proven genuine through a rigorous process. 

You wince at the sound Chrollo muffles behind his hand. 

Then, much to your disbelief, it evolves into a chuckle. 

His shoulders tremble as his eyes turn crescent-shaped, gleaming with mirth. He shakes his head and clears his throat. After a few seconds, he regains control of himself, though his posture is less rigid. This visage aligns better with your memories of him. He liked pretending he was ordinary — almost as much as you liked pretending to believe him. 

Feitan clicks his tongue. “This girl… always says. Never thinks.” 

“You must admit, it’s a cute habit,” Chrollo says.

To this, Feitan mutters a phrase in his native language, turning his gaze away from you. 

You cross your arms over your chest. They both had an irritating tendency to talk about you like you weren’t present, a pet peeve you hadn’t had to deal with in a while. The candidness they displayed made you wonder what they spoke about when you weren’t around. A pandora’s box best left unopened, surely. 

Chrollo pries one of your hands free to hold in his own. “Words cannot convey how much I missed you."

He follows this admission up by kissing the back of your hand.

“... I can’t stick around much longer, I’m afraid,” he murmurs. “Bear with me a while longer.” 

Another chaste kiss. After allowing his lips to linger on your skin a while longer, he relinquishes his grip, tucking his hands into his pockets to deter him from further indulgence. 

Unexpectedly, it’s Feitan who shifts the topic. 

“Boss,” he speaks, now lurking by your side. “She watch the fight?” 

Furrowing your eyebrows, you glance between them, thrown off by the cryptic language. Truthfully, you don’t want to know about whatever it is Chrollo has to do. From what you can glean, it’s likely to involve people getting hurt or dying. You’ve learned the best way to keep your conscience clean is to remain ignorant. If you press on certain issues, Feitan will gleefully overshare gritty details you could’ve gone without. 

His response is swift and firm. “No, not this one.” 

“... That bad?” Feitan asks. When all Chrollo does is smile, he adds, “Heh. Poor clown.” 

Chrollo’s phone vibrates in his pocket. Upon reading the caller’s name, he steps away. “Keep an eye on her for me a while longer, Fei.” 

The aforementioned man grunts. 

Chrollo spares you a long, final look. 

His lips part, as if he intends to say something, before they shut. Inquisitive, you tilt your head, not used to him hesitating. He’s always projected this self-assured image — untouchable, near omnipotent. Flaws don’t suit him. There's this invisible screen that separates you from men like him and Feitan. Their access to abilities beyond comprehension elevates them, setting them apart.

You prefer it that way. Categorizing them as 'others' is easier than reconciling the fact their more human than infernal.

Eventually, he gives you an unusually reserved smile. 

"After everything's over, I'll find you."

[gallusrostromegalus]

I haven't seen any dog stories in a while. How are Charleston and The Hanukkah Goblin doing?

Dog updates!

The first one is a little sad, but also how life should go. Arwen is 14 now and while she's still moving, eating, pooping and generally enjoying life, she also has canine dementia and sundown syndrome where she gets extremely nervous and her dementia gets worse after dark. She'll be with us for a while yet, but it's something we have to manage now.

One person who is very much helping her manage is Herschel. My parents are traveling a lot while they still have the knees for it so I spend a lot of time up at their house, and Charleston and Herschel come up too. Being a Corgi, Herschel likes to manage things, and Arwen would like someone to manage things for her so he's become her self-appointed guide dog.

When I call the dogs for food or outside, he goes and finds her deaf ass and herds her to the location. Normally she doesn't go outside after dark but when the boys are there she's willing to wait for Charlie to chase away anything that might be lurking out there, and then follow Herschel's ass around the yard at night.

Very literally.

She's also got cataracts forming and I think his bright white backside is easy for her to see in the dark, so she follows it around.

During daytime walks she sees well enough but neither she nor Charlie are fans of strange off-leash dogs running up to them (a regrettably common problem out here. I don't care if your dog is friendly MINE ARE NOT!), so both of them prefer to walk half a pace behind Herschel so his more socially adept and knife-filled face is out front to intercept any unwanted solicitors. This does tend to give people the opposite impression though- because he is so much shorter, Herschel gives the impression of a tiny, charming mafioso flanked by his two large and surly bodyguards.

Like, they absolutely would kill a bear for him.

But Charlie and Arwen would also try to kill a bear on general principle.

At night, when Arwen barks at shadows, Herschel runs up and stand between her and the alleged menace, and does his best to look large and intimidating and for as silly as he looks, he does have a very good growl. After a moment, when the alleged bear or congressman or other horror fails to appear, he will stick his nose into the offending shadow, and finding nothing, be satisfied that their joint effort has successfully chased the problem off, and report back to her. This, more than anything else, seems to alleviate Arwen 's fears.

I guess we all just need someone to take us seriously when we're frightened.

Charleston, meanwhile, has gotten into giving safari tours of the front range's small vertebrates.

After eight years of managing his exceptionally high prey drive, something clicked earlier this summer and instead of immediately lunging his whole face at any approximately bite-sized animal in an attempt to expedite it's journey into his stomach, Charlie has started *pointing* at things until I come look at them and tell him he's a good boy. This started with a mole, something he'd never seen before and that moves above ground in a strange way, so he wasn't sure about eating it, so he only alerted at it. "GOOD BOY!" I shouted, giving him all the cuddles. "GOOD SPOT! GOOD JOB NOT EATING IT!"

It's important to reward behavior you want to see.

Since then, he's been trying out pointing at small creatures in the grass and then making very pointed eye contact with me until I come look at them. This is a little tricky when walking both dogs because Herschel is still very much in his "inhale wildlife" phase, but usually I can lock the little gremlin's leash and go look at whatever Charlie has cornered while Herschel attempts to develop telekinesis to will the critter into his mouth.

So far, Charleston has found: a baby rabbit, several baby rabbits in a cluster, an adult rabbit with Jackalope virus, several voles, several moles, a fledgling owl, only the two mice, several mouse-sized grasshoppers and cicada, someone's pet rat (the person was searching within earshot and 'Socks' was collected forthwith), a beanie baby that had me fooled for a hit minute too, a marmot which I didn't know lived down here, a groundhog which I didn't know lived up here, a mink, so many toads, a wild turkey chick, so many more garter snakes and last night, an aquatic shrew.

I don't know if there's an Audubon Society for small things that scuttle around in the undergrowth, but I am inclined to join solely to get Charleston recognition for his service in surveying them.

[banquetwriter]

saw you asked for viktor x reader requestssss, may i ask for some fluffy modern au ones? love your blog!!

AN: tysm !! and yes i love for modern au!viktor bc maybe he has a chance to be happy :((

warnings: i mention the pandemic a lil and some sad stuff about his disability but over all fluff :), ooc viktor bc im not used to writing him rip

i feel like in any universe viktor has nightmares, in a modern world he would wake with a jolt of fear, drenched in sweat. eyes dark and sunken in. his leg is killing him and he sighs peering at the time. 2:34 am. ahh of course he cannot possibly get a full nights sleep.

he doesn’t want to wake you of course. you need your sleep, more than him but he just can’t handle it. the pain sometimes it’s just too much. he rubs his forehead reaching for his phone and dialing your number. to his delight and concern you awnser almost immediately. “viktor?” your worried voice says through the phone.

“are you ok? did something happen.” you ask, your voice isn’t tired- like it should be. “no- just another bad dream i’m afraid. why aren’t you sleeping?” he asked with a small amused smirk.

silence met him on the other end “darling you need to sleep-“ he tries to reason before you cut him off complaining about how he never sleeps.

definitely still a work-a-holic… can’t for a moment pull himself away from work. in a modern world he is definitely still a scientist… maybe working in the medical field? possibly! the tech world seems most likely….

he’d always have accesses to the newest gadgets and do-dads. stuff that blows your mind but for him? another tuesday. and for being as technologically advanced as he is he doesn’t care much for tv show or modern movies…

he’d like the classics of course but he strikes me more as a classic ligature guy… maybe just some self projecting but some gothic lit perhaps?

he also eats extremely healthy. and when he does eat it’s not to enjoy the food it’s purely to keep him going… and your snacking habits and fast food would amuse him slightly.

of course he’d get invited to speak at many tech (or medically i’m telling you i can see him in the prosthetic industry) events. jayce forcing him to get all black suit and tie fancy. which he would hate.

what he wouldn’t hate would be seeing you all done up pretty/handsome, wondering how he managed to trick you into falling in love with him.

viktor sat in front of his full length mirror (a space specifically for him to be able to down while getting ready) adjusting his tie before using his crutch to stand up. the only thought running through his mind was how much he didn’t wanna go

then he saw you rush out of the bathroom “ugh we are gonna be late” you said worried putting in your earrings or adjusting your own tie. but viktor didn’t here your complaint. he saw his beautiful partner. his love struck eyes followed as you rush to his mirror. he slipped a hand around your waist.

you turn to him finally done adjusting your outfit he just smiles back. “you clean up nice.” you whisper before planting a small kiss on his cheek. if you wear lipstick he admires the mark before regrettably rubbing the mark off.

and even if you don’t wear it he can feel the spot burn all night long as he watches jayce mingle through the crowd.

since his right leg is the leg he needs his crutch for i think it’s safe to assume he can’t drive. he most likely could when he was younger when he used the cane not the crutch but even then after a few years he most likely wouldn’t be able to

and even if it sounds a little uncharacteristic i think he would have a personal driver. he is definitely making bank in the tech (or medically yk yk) field, especially being an inventor.

so he wouldn’t have one to be an ass but simply because he cannot walk places and the modern world relies on cars… if you can drive he much prefers you to do it however.

during the pandemic since he is most likely immune compromised i don’t see a world where he goes out much before let alone after a global pandemic. which makes his anxiety worse.

it’s better for his pain to be able to run his business from home or a quarantined lab but his mental health suffers. when the band are lifted and your allowed to go out more he has a panic attacks a lot.

during zoom calls sometimes you’d be just out of frame holding his hand as you read or something. it took a while and a lot of convincing but he eventually started to go to therapy

ik big deal for mr i don’t deserve anything good in my life…

as his health declines and he is forced to stay home rather than choosing to stay home he becomes close to bed ridden. you quit your job to help care for him more full time. he hates it.

he hates the pitty looks from jayce and all the people that worked for hextech. he doesn’t have to worry about money of course… but he wishes the world would allow him more time.

i don’t know how modern the medicine is in piltover but i’m assuming it’s decently close to ours ??? and if so he would decline at about the same rate. if our modern world has better medicine than of course he takes advantage of it to a point

until having to pop 5 pills every three hours takes a toll and he slowly stops taking them.. but he always has you to remind him why he takes them. so after increasing his therapy sessions he starts to take them again.

i’d imagine he likes to spend every domestic moment he can. massaging your legs as they lay across his lap as you ramble on about whatever tv show your watching. chuckling at your reactions as he reads

being able to brush his teeth with you in the shower… just the pure domestic bliss he basks in. having a lonely childhood he is has never been more happy to experience a life with people he loves !!

[junichan]

Dirty Monkey (Platonic SWK x Reader)

Summery: A regrettable insult leads Reader to give the Monkey King a bath and a little TLC.  

The Wukong in this story is based on Monkey King Reborn, and heavily inspired by @celestialkiri’s and @sixteenthchapel’s monkey boys. (I love their art and AUs so much, omg!) I also think calling the self-insert character ‘Reader’ is terribly clever, so I used that here.

Warnings / Triggers: None, a brief mention of naked monkey butt.

Reader overhears Wukong and Bajie bickering and throwing insults at each other as per usual. It’s a normal occurrence early in the journey. Most of the time these barbs roll off their backs and the only ones really bothered by their antagonism is Tang Sanzang, who just wants his disciples to get along. But this time Bajie goes a little too far.

“Dirty monkey,” Bajie sneers.

There’s an instant of silence, as if everyone knows he’s crossed a line, even Bajie. He starts to open his mouth to backtrack, even as Wukong’s expression goes frighteningly cold. The monkey’s muscles tense, his lips pulling back from his teeth. He’s ready to maul his fellow disciple.

“THAT’S ENOUGH.” Reader’s voice is rarely so loud. It crashes over them, crushing the tension with the force of a shockwave. There’s even a growl to her voice. The surprise is enough to break Wukong’s momentum; he’s never heard that tone of voice from Reader before.

Wukong will never admit it out loud but he loves these little hints of the steel in Reader’s spine.

“Both of you need to cool it,” Reader continues, fixing Bajie with a glare that makes him shuffle self-consciously before turning it on Wukong. The monkey huffs, refusing to feel reproached. But at least he decides to walk away, rather than continuing to fight or argue.

A few days later the travelers stop for a rest. Wukong has been even more abrasive and distant to the others than usual. While the rest of the little group is making camp, Reader finds the monkey some distance away, glaring at the horizon with his back hunched and the fur on the back of his neck bristled. Wuknong refuses to admit it but clearly Bajie’s crack about his hygiene hurt his pride.

That’s when Reader grabs his arm and pulls him off. Wukong of course tries to shrug her off, snapping at her to leave him alone. (He’s a king after all, he’s not about to be dragged around by his elbow like a child.) But Reader insists that he must come with her somewhere and her persistence gets him curious enough to relent.

She takes him to a secluded natural pool, and that’s when Wukong notices the little wooden bucket Reader brought along. She intends to make him bathe. He clues in really quick and can’t help feeling a little dejected.

“So you think I’m dirty too.”

He’s about to call her an idiot and go back to brooding on his own somewhere when she stops him.

“No. You just stink. You’re covered in dried blood and who knows what else from the last ten demons you fought.”

She’s got a point, as much as he hates to admit it. He tries grabbing the bucket from her, insisting that he wash without her supervision, but she keeps it out of his reach. Once again curiosity - and the not-so-secret fact that Wukong’s going a little soft on Reader - gets the better of him. Even so he grumbles as he allows himself to be ushered into the cool, clear water.

Wukong thinks shucking his clothes will scare the human woman off, and it does embarrass her enough to politely look the other way, but she doesn’t leave. (Don’t worry, Reader doesn’t see anything besides his bare backside for a few seconds. This is a SFW story. Also, LOL, monkey butt.)

To his surprise, Reader wades in after him. He tries not to look too interested in what she’s doing. He even tries objecting again when she takes some soap out of the bucket. But as soon as her gentle hands start working the sweet-smelling soap into his fur the demon monkey practically melts.

Neither of them say anything as Reader slowly and carefully washes Wukong’s back. It reminds him very much of when he was home on Flower Fruit Mountain. All the monkeys in the troop would groom each other, for both hygiene and socialization, and as the highest-ranking monkey of them all he was always given the most attention. There was a reason he was called ‘Handsome Monkey King’ after all. Back home he had been almost meticulous about taking care of his appearance, but since being on the road it had seemed less important.

So Wukong kneels in the water, while Reader stands behind him. The feeling of the human’s fingers gently working the blood and dust off his fur feels really, really good. The cool water is refreshing, and the soap smells a little like jasmine and sandlewood. Having someone groom him makes him feel like a real king again. And more than that it makes him feel a little homesick.

After a while, he can’t help but wonder out loud, “Why are you doing this?”

Reader pauses for a moment. She’s behind him so Wukong can’t see her smile, but he can hear it in her voice as she explains, “A dirty monkey is a monkey that’s unwanted and unloved. You are neither of those things, and I don’t want you to forget that.” Her arms encircle him from behind, and he feels her cheek press against the top of his head while she hugs him.

Wukong can’t remember the last time he was told he was loved and wanted so directly. Or the last time someone dared to embrace him! Certainly, it was long before he was imprisoned under a mountain for 500 years. For a moment he’s stunned into uncharacteristic speechlessness. Then he scoffs to cover the awkward moment of sentimentality. “Tch. Don’t be stupid. I know what I am.” The usual edge to Wukong’s voice isn’t as sharp, and the hand that he places over Reader’s gives the smallest, softest squeeze. Quietly he admits, “…It’s nice to be reminded though.”

The Monkey King won’t say the words, but Reader knows that he means ‘thank you’. And she’s glad to have lifted Wukong’s spirit a little.

Before the moment can get any more awkward, Reader steps back and grabs the bucket to rinse Wukong off - by dumping the bucket of water over his head!

“Hey!!” The demon sputters, shaking water from his eyes as he turns to glare at Reader. But she’s laughing so much it’s hard to stay angry and he starts chuckling too. He gets her back as they’re moving toward the shore by shaking the water off his fur and soaking her in the process.

They stay by the pool for the rest of the afternoon. While they dry off Reader washes Wukong’s clothes too. (And discovers the Monkey King never bothered to learn how to wash them himself. ‘That was what servants are for.’ No wonder they were so gross!) By the time they rejoin the others, Sun Wukong looks like a brand new demon.

Bajie immediately protests that it isn’t fair that Brother Monkey got a glow up, which strokes Wukong’s ego even more. The whole ‘dirty monkey’ slight is well behind him now.

After that, the Monkey King became a lot more mindful about the state of his fur and clothes while on the road. Every so often Wukong would plop himself down in front of Reader with his back to her. He wouldn’t say anything, but they both knew it was a silent request / demand for some grooming. Sometimes Reader found it a little annoying, especially if she was in the middle of something, but she always indulged him, combing her fingers through his fur until it was silky soft.

He never forgot what Reader said. He would make sure that no one ever had the chance to imply he was dirty. Sun Wukong was loved and wanted, and everyone should know it just by looking at him.

[lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom]

MASTERLIST

Crosshair

You're Different

Synopsis: Ever since Crosshair made a snide comment about leaving a team member to die, you've had a lingering thought. Even though you knew he loved you, doubts rose.

Okay Again

Synopsis: After spending months on Pabu recouping from the empire, Shep gets under your skin. You blow up at the unfair treatment, and Crosshair helps you calm down.

Forgiven

Synopsis: You reminisce on the first time Crosshair fought against you and his brothers. He thought you'd never forgive him, but he is surprised when you reunite.

Dog Days

Synopsis: You met Crosshair while he was taking Batcher for a walk. Passing your house quickly became a daily task you all looked forward to. Is it wrong to say you caught feelings for him? And was Crosshair really jealous of the attention you gave Batcher?

CX-2 (Clone Assassin)

Does the End Justify the Means?

Synopsis: CX-2 never planned on forming a relationship, but once he did he had to protect it. Even if it meant killing hundreds to keep you away from Hemlock. MENTIONS OF BURNS AND TORTURE!!

Echo

Confessions on the Marauder

Synopsis: You and Echo finally have a moment alone on the Marauder. Of course the pressure gets to one of you, and confesses.

Worst Case Scenario

Synopsis: After an ambush from the Empire, you, Echo, and Omega must escape by yourselves. Hunter and Wrecker sacrifice themselves to let you three live. Based on Season 2, Ep. 16

One Day

Synopsis: Echo is, understandably, not taking Techs death well. Comfort ensues!

Hunter

Knight in Rusty Armour

Synopsis: After a bad run-in at a market, Hunter has to save you and Omega. You can't help but feel like a failure for not being able to protect Omega by yourself...

Marry Me?

Synopsis: After an insufferable separation from you, Hunter realizes his true feelings. That he never wants to be apart from you- that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

Wedding Planning

Synopsis: Now that Hunter has popped the question, you and Omega start planning the wedding! Little do you know, Hunter overhears and falls a little more in love. Part 2 to 'Marry Me?'

Something Just Like This

Synopsis: After getting your happy ending, you spend some needed down time with Hunter. Oh, and your two kids! This is a part 3 to 'Marry Me?' (Could be read by itself)

I Will Protect You

Synopsis: As a defective Jedi you are reassigned to The Bad Batch. How can you resist Hunter? Especially when he confesses after seeing how good you are with Omega.

Calming Waves

Synopsis: After finding out Omega has been taken for the third time, you and Hunter must comfort each other. Set at the end of s.3 ep.11

Moment of Peace

Synopsis: Hunter relaxes after a hard work day on Pabu, only to be interrupted by Gonky and reader. Fluff ensues!

Tech

Absurd Thoughts

Synopsis: During a regrettable moment of insecurity, you think Tech considers going off with Phee. Assurance pursues, Tech only wants you.

Familiar Faces

Synopsis: Tech's death was not a reality you were ready for, you relied so much on his love. After months of grief, you find he might not actually be dead.

Bookworm

Synopsis: You and Tech have a moment alone on The Marauder. What better way to spend it than reading! Accompanied by Tech on his datapad, of course.

By Your Side

Synopsis: During an escape from the Empire, you break your arm. Tech is quick to be at your side, fixing you up. At the intensity of the situation, feelings are revealed. Warning for descriptions of broken bones!

Falling Swiftly

Synopsis: Being a friend of Phee's, you meet The Bad Batch. Tech catches your eye, and you eventually get to live out your dream with him on Pabu.

Wrecker

Headaches

Synopsis: Wrecker always goes to reader for help with his constant headaches. Based on S 1, Ep 5-7 when Wreckers inhibitor chip was giving him bad headaches!

Back Home

Synopsis: After searching for months, Wrecker is finally reunited with you. You couldn't be happier.

Bundle of Joy

Synopsis: Wrecker is scared he might hurt your newborn baby. You reassure him he won't, and that he is a good father. Warning for descriptions of birth!

Performance

Synopsis: Wreckers sees your performance as an acrobat and immediately falls in love!

Clone Force 99 (platonic)

Winning Approval

Synopsis: You felt as if you were living a purpose-less life, so when Hunter asks you to join his crew, you say yes! Not everyone on the force is as happy though... Takes place during and after Season 1, Ep. 2.

Brandon Stark

Following You to the Ends of the Earth

Synopsis: Your time with Bran, Meera, and Hodor in the Three-Eyed Raven's cave. Unsaid feelings become said.

Part Two.

Perfect Queen?

Synopsis: As the new queen and lady of Winterfell, you feel out of place. Thankfully, Bran reassures you of your position and loves you for who you are- not who you are trying to be.

Zuko

'Fake' Feelings

Synopsis: In a pinch, you have to pretend to be in a relationship with Zuko. Little do you know it was never pretend for Zuko. Synopsis: In a pinch, you have to pretend to be in a relationship with Zuko. Little do you know it was never pretend for Zuko.

Kang Dae-Ho

Nightmare

Synopsis: Dae-ho wakes up from a nightmare, with you being the only one by his side to calm him down.

At Least We Have Eachother

Synopsis: Dae-ho and you both join the squid games for the benefit of the other. Neither of you know about it, until you find each other after the first game.

Anything is Possible?

You are number 230's, rapper Choi Su-bong, sister. Just because you are on 'Thanos Team', does that mean you can Dae-Ho cant get together? Will you survive long enough?

CREDITS: @thethreeeyed-raven

[burnednotburied]

Chapter 3: Cursed Creatures

AO3 Link | Masterlist

Pairing: Abby Anderson x fem!reader

Fic Synopsis: Abby goes looking for Owen and ends up on the wrong end of your knife.

Tags/CWs: angst; slowburn; enemies to friends to lovers; talks of purity culture/ideals and “sin”; internalized homophobia and some comp-het feelings (they’re both so gay but so dumb about it); animosity between WLF and Seraphites; blood/gore; descriptions of being hanged; religious/cult-like ideas

Note: This is not at all how I thought this chapter would start. Alas, I am riddled with religious trauma, and Taylor Swift just released the song “Guilty as Sin?” I mean… “My boredom’s bone-deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry? I dream of cracking locks, Throwing my life to the WOLVES” Are you kidding me? It’s perfect. So this started out differently than I planned. But what was I to do? I am just a girl.

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There were many topics on which you had been educated in-depth but were never supposed to experience first-hand.

Sex was one of those topics.

You knew the mechanics of it. The anatomy that was involved. Its purposes and benefits. The dangers of it.

You had been told, vehemently, that it was something that should never be done outside of the safe and proper confines of marriage.

Which meant you could never do it because you could never marry.

The Prophet had to remain pure.

Set apart.

Free from romantic, familial, worldly ties.

You were taught to suppress any desire to do otherwise. A task that you had been mostly successful at upholding.

But there were times when your eyes lingered where they shouldn’t and your own thoughts made you shiver and blush.

It was the sin of lust.

The other major vices were usually easily circumvented. You could be disciplined and selfless, just and kind, modest and brave.

You always did what you were told, and you didn’t ask questions.

You told yourself that you weren’t weak; you just knew your place. You knew what was expected of you, and no other options had ever been made available.

So, like thrown clay, you had allowed yourself to be molded into the person you were today, each piece of you carefully and intentionally shaped by the hands of others.

The Elders created the perfect Seraphite specimen. Quietly devout. Enigmatic. Indelible. Untouchable. Obedient.

A mouthpiece disguised as a leader.

A Prophet.

They made you.

You were not a naturally occurring thing.

Sometimes you didn’t even feel human.

Lust was one sin you knew could be concealed, buried far below your surface, unseen by critical eyes.

It was a small act of rebellion. A hidden glimmer of defiance. Although, you weren’t doing it on purpose.

And it was made especially loathsome due to the regrettable fact that it only ever happened to you when you were looking at or thinking of a woman…

Now the Wolf stood in front of you, hammer held tightly in her right hand.

Demons were quickly descending upon you, and you had just witnessed (and neglected to intervene into) the death of three of your own people. The only person you helped was the Wolf, your enemy, who you were meant to kill.

You could guess what the Elders would say if they were here now. How disappointed they would look as they pointed out your many failings.

For once, you didn’t care.

Strangely, despite everything, you felt like a bird whose cage door was just thrown wide open.

Or a well-trained dog that had been mistakenly let off leash.

You could breathe. Unrestricted.

Your eyes remained glued to the Wolf.

Her back was to you, her soaked clothes clinging to her skin. Her shoulders rose with each of her deep, deliberate breaths.

Time seemed to slow as your eyes traced down the length of her arms, taking in her strong form…

See, you knew the sin of lust was bad, if only because it made you stupid.

Or distracted, at the very least.

Demons were coming, and you had just been moments away from gutting this girl.

You definitely couldn’t trust her.

But you didn’t have to trust her to look at her.

A series of snapping twigs and high-pitched shrieks from the surrounding forest instantly brought your attention back to the approaching threat.

Demons were another one of those things that they taught you about but never thought you’d actually encounter.

When you arrived on the mainland that morning, you had been led to the network of Seraphite-built bridges, above the city, concealed in the clouds.

Nearly your entire day had been spent in the sky.

If there were any Demons below, you didn’t see them.

Honestly, you hoped you’d never have to come across the cursed creatures.

The sounds they made were animalistic, but somehow still eerily human. Like a voice that was either enraged or overwhelmed with pain.

You had been told that they were unsavable. Completely consumed by the disease and irrevocably punished for their sins. No longer even human.

As a child, you heard stories of the first Prophet valiantly fighting off hordes in defense of her early followers.

In training, they taught you how to fight both Demons and human adversaries alike. Although the former was always theoretical.

You were shown sketches, detailing the different stages of it.

Foolishly, you thought you were ready.

But nothing could’ve prepared you for what came running out from the cover of the trees.

It moved faster than you would’ve thought possible, too quickly for you to take it all in, but the glimpses you captured were grotesque.

It went straight for the Wolf, swinging its arms wildly. She effortlessly dodged its attack before striking with the hammer. Hard. It was dead in just three blows.

Two more approached from behind you, closest to Lev, and it was past time for you to be useful.

Lev was a skilled archer, but he was still a kid. And Yara, also a kid, only had use of one of her arms.

Both of the Demons were focused on Lev. He fired an arrow, hitting one of them in the chest, but it didn’t take it down.

Its back was to you.

You couldn’t let yourself freeze again.

You closed the distance between you and the beast, lifting your dagger with both hands and bringing it back down swiftly, piercing deeply through its skull.

It let out one last pained shriek as it fell.

The Wolf had taken out the other Demon before Lev had to loose another arrow.

But there were two more where those came from. One swung at the Wolf, and the other came for you.

You were able to dodge, narrowly missing the impact of its savage attack. Stepping back, you continued to evade its blows.

You swung at it, but the thing was fast. Your blade cut into its shoulder instead of its head. Ripping your weapon out, you tried again. This time, you hit your target.

That was two for you.

“Prophet, look out!” Yara shouted. Before you could discern which direction the threat was coming from, you were brutally thrown to the ground, the wind knocked out of you entirely.

Death wore the grisly face of the Demon standing above you.

You had dropped your dagger, leaving you completely defenseless.

Lev’s arrows pierced its throat twice.

It kept coming.

You blinked and it was on the ground. The Wolf knelt over it, hammer crashing over its skull repeatedly, past when the thing was decidedly dead, until the hammer actually broke in her hand.

You just blinked again.

She saved you.

Why did she save you?

You scrambled to your feet, your breaths coming too quickly.

You tried not to panic.

You had only almost died.

You were fine.

The Wolf dropped the splintered remnants of the hammer and stood, shaking out her hand. You stared as she walked over to where your dagger lay on the ground and bent to pick it up.

She looked at you for—as far as you could tell—the first time since you’d cut her down from the rope.

She walked over, holding your gaze.

You realized that she could kill you now. That that was likely why she had saved you.

So she could end you herself.

Because you were the Prophet, and a Seraphite. Or because you had nearly killed her before.

She could even do it with your own weapon. The one that had been meant for her.

You imagined that would be satisfying for a brutish Wolf.

As she approached, you noticed that she towered over you, making you doubly aware of the fact that this was not a fight you would win if it came down to it. Especially when you were unarmed.

She stopped when she stood only a couple feet in front of you, turning the dagger over in her hand and simply offering it to you, handle-first.

Dumbly, you slowly reached out and took it.

Her hand fell back to her side.

There was a hint of a smug little smile on her face, like she knew what you had been thinking.

“Try not to drop that again, yeah?” she said, voice low. It was the first time she’d spoken directly to you, and you resented the way it made your cheeks warm.

Before you could come up with a competent response, Yara interrupted.

“Prophet, Wolf! Come on. We have to move!” She held a lit torch in her uninjured hand. Lev stood at her side, ready to run.

“Where are you going?” the Wolf asked, unsure if she would be following. You were already moving to join Yara and Lev.

“Out of these woods. We’ve gotta run! Now! The coast is this way.”

They took off into the trees with you close behind. The sound of footsteps falling behind you informed you of the Wolf’s apparent decision to tag along, at least for the time being.

You could also hear more Demons, closing in on either side, chasing the torch’s light. Which meant they were after Yara.

You ran faster, trying to close the distance between you just in case.

As she passed an abandoned vehicle, one of the Demons jumped out, tackling her to the ground.

Lev shot an arrow through its head as you ran to her, pushing the dead Demon off and helping her back to her feet.

The horrifying chorus of even more of them, just beyond your vision, made you startle with each screech.

“They’re all around us!” Yara cried, moving closer to her brother.

The Wolf, weaponless after breaking the hammer, quickly looked around, finding a glass bottle. She grabbed it and threw it at the next creature that emerged from the forest.

The Demon slowed, momentarily stunned, and the Wolf wasted no time knocking it over and bringing her foot down on its skull hard and fast.

Just one stomp and it was dead.

You flushed again, transfixed.

Stupid.

You should not find that attractive.

But she was undeniably incredible.

You shook your head in an attempt to refocus as you turned to watch Lev take down another with a couple well-aimed shots.

A shriek behind you revealed the presence of yet another. You turned to meet it, killing the thing easily enough.

It seemed your training in combat had been sufficient after all, at least where Demons were concerned.

“That was the last of them,” Yara said.

“You guys okay?” the Wolf asked, like she might actually care.

“Yeah,” Lev breathed out, bow and arrow still at the ready.

“We have to keep moving before more come,” Yara insisted, taking up the lead again as she pressed forward.

You all ran after her.

“Every direction looks the same,” said the Wolf. You were inclined to agree. “You sure you know where you’re going?”

“It has to be this way,” Yara said, quietly determined.

“What the hell am I doing?” the Wolf muttered to herself under her breath.

The four of you picked up your speed as the Demons grew closer.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Abby seriously had no idea what the hell she was doing.

She was running through the woods, fighting off Infected with three Scars.

And one of them was the Prophet.

Who had been fully intending to disembowel her not too long ago…

Something had to be wrong with her. Maybe it was brain damage from nearly suffocating.

Because this wasn’t like her.

A couple hours ago, Abby was killing Scars. Happily.

Well maybe that wasn’t the best word for it. It didn’t make her happy. She just didn’t feel bad about it.

And now, she was prancing through the forest and going out of her way to protect Scars?

The kids were one thing. They seemed to be just as in danger with other Scars as they were with the Infected.

What had that one woman called them? Apostates?

Abby had done enough reading to know what the word meant. She guessed they must have broken some stupid, insane rule and run off.

Or been kicked out.

Either way, from what Abby had gathered, they had gone rogue and were being hunted by their own people.

Which meant they weren’t necessarily her enemy.

But the other girl. The Prophet…

Abby didn’t know what was going on with you.

Were you going rogue too, or were your friends just dead and you needed help getting past the Infected and out of the woods?

And yeah, you had been about to kill her before. But you’d stopped as soon as there was a distraction. Took the out the second it was offered.

And then you had been the one to cut her down.

So maybe you didn’t want to kill her.

That counted for something, right?

Abby didn’t let herself think too much about how pretty you were.

How stunning your eyes looked when they met hers.

How your fingers felt, lightly grazing her bare skin for just a second, then leaving all too soon.

And how you had definitely blushed when she spoke to you.

See? She totally wasn’t thinking about any of that at all.

And she was probably delusional.

And way too distracted, spending any amount of time or energy thinking about such crazy shit while you were all actively running for your lives.

Abby was bringing up the rear of the group, and she knew a horde of Stalkers was not far behind her.

She really hoped these Scars knew where they were going.

“It’s just up here!” the girl, Yara, shouted from up ahead, leading the way to a wall of hanging vines.

The boy, Lev, pulled the vines aside, revealing an opening behind. Yara carefully but quickly maneuvered through. You waited until both she and Lev were on the other side before looking up at Abby expectantly.

There wasn’t time to argue, so Abby went next. You followed closely behind, then let the vines fall back into place, hiding your path from the Infected that pursued.

On the other side, Abby was met with the sight of several dead bodies, clearly recently slaughtered.

She couldn’t tell from this distance what had killed them. Or if they were Scar or WLF.

“Those are fresh. There another way around?” she asked, maneuvering around the corpses.

Lev spoke up. “If there were, would we be going this way?”

Okay. Fair point.

Yara pointed to a chain link fence with the torch. “Come on, Lev. Get it open.”

The kid tried to bend the steel wires up to create an opening. It didn’t budge, despite his efforts.

“Move,” Abby said. He did.

She strained as the piece of fencing gave way beneath her hands.

“Get in there, Prophet,” she said, teeth clenched.

----------------------------------------------------------------

You quickly slid through the opening and popped up on the other side.

Finally, you were free of the suffocating forest.

The clearing was illuminated with light of the full moon.

You wandered on ahead as Lev, Yara, and the Wolf came through the fence behind you.

“Prophet?” A new voice spoke out as you turned the corner. The reverence in the person’s tone alone told you that you were dealing with a Seraphite.

You turned toward the voice to see a woman you recognized but whose name you couldn’t recall. She was large and stood tall, the side of her face bloody and a pickaxe in her grip.

She had been part of a patrolling squad in the area. You’d seen her briefly earlier in the day, with Emily, after the Wolf had been captured.

The woman saw that you were, in fact, who she thought you were, and she bowed her head out of respect.

“Are you alright, Prophet? What are you doing out here? Where is Emily?”

You were at a loss for words.

Her voice was calm and concerned now, but you knew that she would kill Lev, Yara, and the Wolf if given the chance.

“I—”

Your two friends entered the clearing behind you, drawing her eyes toward them.

“Apostates,” she hissed, and instantly her demeanor changed.

She rushed past you, ruthlessly throwing Yara to the ground and lifting Lev up by his neck.

You moved without thinking, your dagger still tightly clutched in your fingers. Again, you raised your arms above your head, just as you had done when fighting the Demons. Using all of your strength, you brought the blade down above her head, piercing her skull. The weapon was long enough that it exited through her chin.

Her body slackened and slumped to the ground. Dead.

You stared down at her, feeling the weight of what you had just done.

This wasn’t a Demon. It wasn’t an animal.

She was a living person.

And a Seraphite. One of your own people.

You were supposed to be her Prophet. Her leader. Her new hope.

She hadn’t been watching her back because she never imagined that you could betray your people like that. That you would pose a threat to her.

You continued to stare, holding your breath. You couldn’t look away.

You didn’t deserve to look away.

You felt a sob rising in your throat. Your eyes began to water.

No. You would not cry.

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Abby was the last to enter the clearing.

By then, the Scar was already holding Lev in the air, and you were already approaching from behind, lifting your dagger.

Abby watched as you killed her.

Woah.

You were good with that knife, she’d give you that.

Yara and Lev got back to their feet and watched as you stared down at the dead Scar, unmoving. Like you were frozen.

You weren’t even breathing, and you looked like you might cry.

Abby had been wondering how many WLF soldiers you killed today before you got to her. If the three she’d seen hanging when she first came to were yours.

Now, she was sure they weren’t.

Because based on your reaction, that had to be your first time.

She wasn’t usually one to be especially sensitive to the emotions of others, but when she heard you sniffle, finally taking in a ragged breath, she couldn’t help but move towards you.

Abby thought of her own first kill. How easy it was to do in the heat of the moment, but how torn up she’d been in the aftermath.

She understood that it was necessary, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard as hell.

She fought the urge to put a hand on your shoulder, or even rub your back soothingly. Reminded herself of who you were and who she was and all the reasons why she shouldn’t even be here right now.

Instead, she bent to retrieve your dagger from the body. She tried to hand it back to you, but you were still stuck, staring down.

“Hey. You did a good job.” She took your hand in hers, placing the handle into your palm and closing your fingers around it. She didn’t let go, allowing her hands to fully encompass yours.

Abby waited until you met her eyes. “You saved them,” she said, nodding towards Lev and Yara, who were both silently watching this unfold. “You did what you had to do.”

You drew your eyebrows together at that, like you wanted to argue. But you seemed to change your mind, ultimately just nodding your head lightly.

She let her hands drop and glanced back down at the slumped body again, her eyes catching on something.

“Wait. Is that my backpack?” Abby asked, looking more closely.

Beside her, you lifted your shoulder in a half-hearted shrug.

“Probably. Emily gave it to her earlier,” you said numbly.

Abby didn’t need to ask who Emily was. She could guess.

She reclaimed her belongings while you pulled yourself together.

“Are you two alright?” you asked the siblings.

“Yes, Prophet,” Lev answered, watching you closely. Abby noticed that you seemed to bristle ever so slightly at his use of your title. You didn’t say anything though.

She held her rifle in her hands again, happy to have her stuff back.

Especially the guns.

Wordlessly, the Scar kids led the way into the nearest building.

Out of habit, Abby began gathering supplies as you went along, taking ammo and medical supplies and anything else that seemed useful.

“How’s the arm?” she asked Yara, breaking the long stretch of silence.

“I have it under control,” the girl insisted defensively.

“Okay…” Abby took a box of ammo from a cabinet. “Grab any supplies you find.”

“We can’t touch this stuff. It’s Old World,” Lev said, like that should’ve been obvious.

“Are you fu---? You need supplies. We’re not out of the woods yet.” She opened and then shut a drawer. “Pun fucking intended.”

“What’s a pun?” Lev asked from another room.

Abby didn’t have the energy to answer that question.

Instead she said, “I’ve never seen Scars go after Scars like that before.”

“Seraphites,” you and Lev corrected in unison as you explored different rooms of the building.

Again, she ignored. “So what the hell did you do?”

“I shaved my head,” Lev answered simply.

Abby scoffed. “Fine. Don’t tell me.”

The group passed through building after dilapidated building, heading towards the coast. At least in theory.

“We’re almost there,” Yara said. “Just a little farther.”

She led the way down a steep drop-off into another run-down building. One where you wouldn’t be able to get back out the same way you went in.

“Now what?” Abby threw out, tired and frustrated.

“I’m quite confident it’s this way.”

“Quite confident?” Abby repeated incredulously.

“You don’t have to follow us,” Lev pointed out.

“You want me to leave you three out here alone?” Abby shot back.

Your response was an immediate and insistent, almost panicked, “No!”

Everyone else turned to you, surprised.

“Let’s just get out of here,” Lev offered.

Abby found the front doors, but they were held firmly closed by a metal gate on the outside.

Above the door was a large opening, too high for Abby to pull herself out of, but not too high for someone to climb through with a boost.

“If you get us through there, we’ll open the gate,” Lev said.

Abby remembered again that these were Scars she was dealing with. And like hell was she going to boost you all up to safety just so you could leave her stranded here.

“Get them out,” you said, as if you could read her mind. “I’ll stay with you.”

Lev started to protest but stopped after one shake of your head.

Abby nodded. “Okay. Come on.”

He gave you one last look before walking over to her, stepping into her open hands and pulling himself through the opening.

“Your turn.” Abby looked at Yara. “Watch that arm.” She carefully helped the injured girl maneuver up and out.

The all too familiar shriek of Infected sounded off behind you, coming from deeper in the building.

On the other side of the doors, Lev pushed at the gate. It wouldn’t budge.

“The gate’s stuck!”

“Fuck! Hurry up!” Abby looked back and forth between the door and the direction the Infected were coming from.

“We’ll look for another way!” Yara said, and the two of them disappeared from view.

Abby tried to stay calm and prepared herself for the inevitable fight.

“They’re not going to leave me,” you said, drawing her attention. You held your knife at the ready, rolling your shoulders back.

She didn’t respond, not sure if she believed you.

“They won’t,” you reiterated.

“I hope you’re right, Prophet.” She offered one of the weapons from her stash. “You ever shot a gun before?”

You shook your head but accepted the firearm anyway.

“Come here. I’ll show you.”

What Abby hoped would only be a few Infected turned out to be an entire horde. Runners, Stalkers, Clickers, and even a couple Shamblers.

You were fighting them off like a champ.

Seriously. She was impressed.

You’d kept the gun, watched her rushed demonstration on how to operate it, but ultimately chose to primarily stick with the dagger.

Both of you had been fighting for several minutes as you moved through the building. No sign of the other two Scars. Abby had pretty much resigned herself to needing to find her own way out.

She cleared the room she was in, lowering her weapon to take a breather.

You were in the next room, and it sounded like you had cleared that one out too.

The only warning Abby had before she felt the blow was you urgently shouting, “Wolf!”

A Stalker that she failed to notice had her pinned to the ground, knocking her rifle from her grip in the process.

It reared its head back as Abby struggled, fighting to get it off her.

A gunshot rang out, and the Infected slumped, lifeless.

She shoved it off her and sat up to see you standing there, borrowed gun still aimed and ready.

“Good girl!” Abby exclaimed, beaming up at you from where she sat on the floor.

Wait.

What the fuck?

She meant to say “good job”…

Actually, she hadn’t meant to say anything.

You lowered the weapon. Based on the look on your face, you were just as taken aback by her use of those words as Abby was. Although, she managed to keep it from showing on her face. Mostly.

She stood quickly and fumbled through a recovery. “Good shot. That was—I mean—It was a good… A good shot. Good job.”

You smiled softly at Abby’s obvious display of nerves, walking over to where her rifle had fallen when she was attacked.

You picked it up and returned it to her.

“Try not to drop that again, yeah?” you said, mimicking the teasing tone Abby had used when she said those same words to you earlier that night.

She made a face. Something that was equal parts embarrassment and amusement.

“Prophet! Over here!” came Lev’s quiet voice from the next room.

You shot Abby an I told you so look before the two of you ran after the sound.

----------------------------------------------------------------

When Yara collapsed, the Wolf picked her up and carried her.

You listened as she quietly comforted your dear friend, encouraging her to keep breathing and promising to find somewhere to rest soon.

Your heart felt soft for her in that moment.

Or maybe you were just exhausted.

Lev led the group with you in the back, gun drawn and alert to the best of your current abilities.

You entered a clearing, full of enormous metal boxes and small, raised buildings. All things from the Old World that you had never seen before and didn’t have words for.

The Wolf instructed Lev to start checking the doors of all the small buildings. It took a few tries before he found one that was open.

The inside was in noticeably better shape than any other structure you’d seen on the mainland, with a few simple, fully intact pieces of furniture.

You watched as the Wolf moved through the first small room and into the second, carefully setting Yara down on the couch. She went over to the windows, checking again to make sure the four of you hadn’t been followed.

When Yara began to slowly remove her overshirt, you were quick to help, being especially careful with her injured arm.

It was swollen and bright red from her elbow down to her fingertips, visibly mangled. You had to bite back a gasp.

Lev stood on the other side of the room, a horribly worried expression on his face.

It wouldn’t be helpful for you to panic now.

“Hey,” you said to him, light and encouraging, drawing his gaze to you and away from his hurt older sister. “It just needs to be set. Okay?”

You turned your eyes to the Wolf who was still hovering by the window. “You know how to do that?”

The face she made confirmed what you already knew. Yara needed much more than just for the arm to be set.

Still, the Wolf walked over, instructing Lev to cut the discarded overshirt into strips and telling Yara to lean back.

You helped her, kneeling on the floor by the side of the couch where her head lay, ready to assist in any way you could.

“I’m gonna move it, okay?” said the Wolf.

“Okay.”

They were both speaking so softly.

“You ready?” she asked.

Yara nodded, reaching her uninjured hand out for one of yours. You held it, letting her squeeze as tightly as she needed to.

The crunching noise the arm made as it was set nearly made you sick.

Yara let out a series of pained noises, panting and grunting. You used your free hand to gently brush the loose strands of her hair from her face, tucking them behind her ears.

You whispered that the worst was over, and that she would be okay now.

You didn’t know if that was true, but you hoped it comforted her a little.

The Wolf broke a leg off a wooden chair, took the newly cut strips of fabric that Lev offered, and went to work bracing the newly-set arm, using the chair leg as a splint.

Yara watched the Wolf’s face.

“What’s your name?” she asked.

The Wolf secured the last piece of cloth before she answered, meeting Yara’s gaze.

“Abby,” she said.

She stood, looking to Lev and then to you.

“I should go,” the Wolf—Abby—said.

You stood too, to walk her out.

Lev quickly filled in the space that you left, kneeling in the same spot and taking Yara’s waiting hand in his.

Abby grabbed her backpack and followed you into the first room, toward the door.

You paused, turning to face her.

“Are you—” You wanted to ask where she was going. What she would do next. Really, if you were being honest, you didn’t want her to go at all.

But you didn’t have the right to ask for any of those things, so instead you went with, “Are you okay?”

You gestured to your neck, meaning to indicate the dark, noose-shaped bruises that circled her own throat.

It felt like so long ago that she’d been hanging in front of you, unfortunate to find herself on the wrong end of your dagger. But, realistically, only a couple of hours had gone by.

She cleared her throat, her own fingers instinctively ghosting over the marks.

“Oh umm… Yeah. It’ll be fine.” She waited a beat before adding, “Thanks for cutting me down.”

You didn’t know what to say to that, considering it was technically your fault she needed to be cut down in the first place.

You settled on a nod and a tight smile.

She turned to go, twisting the doorhandle and stepping back out into the rain.

Before you could close the door behind her, she looked back and said, “This area gets a lot of traffic. Whatever shape she’s in…” Abby leaned closer, hand on the door frame, “You need to get out of here by tomorrow.”

Again, you nodded. “We’ll be fine.”

She held your gaze for a moment longer before she turned and walked down the steps.

You shut and locked the door.

----------------------------------------------------------------

As Abby walked away from the office trailer, she couldn’t help the images that came to mind.

She kept envisioning you and Lev and Yara, dead.

Hanged and gutted by the Scars.

Or shot by the WLF.

Or ripped to shreds by Infected.

She had real responsibilities. A friend to look for. A whole community counting on her.

She had a war to get back to.

But if she left now, would she always wonder about what happened to you?

The urge to stay near you—to protect you—was so overwhelming. She didn’t know where it was coming from or what she should do with it.

You were not safe, but she knew you were much safer with her.

Isaac had warned her that the first Scar Prophet had been able to make even the most dedicated soldiers turn on a dime. He said that with just a few carefully chosen words, she could make a person question where their loyalties lied.

It had seemed so ridiculous just that morning, but now you were doing the same thing to Abby.

You were in her head.

But this didn’t feel like manipulation.

She didn’t know what it was that drew her to you, but it felt real. Natural. And entirely unintentional.

Or maybe she was reading you all wrong, and you really were a master manipulator.

Abby needed to make a decision. Because she was currently standing still in the pouring rain with the trailer still in view.

She chose to trust her gut.

And her gut was telling her to turn around. To stay with you.

Owen would have to wait.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Note: Thank you to anyone who’s read all three chapters of this! The fact that literally anyone has is absolutely bonkers to me. I’ve already learned so much about myself as a writer since I started writing fics a couple weeks ago. For example, this week I learned that I DO NOT enjoy writing fight scenes… Unfortunately it was thoroughly unavoidable for this chapter. Regardless, I really hope it was interesting to read, and I’m looking forward to fleshing out the relationship between Abby and my reader more and more!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Just a Girl 5

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as possible cheating, low self-esteem, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: you move in with your sister when your luck turns for the worst.

Characters: Walter Marshall, possible Andy Barber

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜

You stand in the open garage, gangly and out of place. You hear the back door snap again and sense Walter as he strides through the open gate. He comes up beside you and presses his arm against yours. 

“Here,” he holds out the stemless glass of wine, “figure one of us should enjoy it.” 

“Oh, thanks, I...” you stifle the complaint that you don’t drink. You suppose one won’t hurt.  

“Not much for wine,” he wiggles the can in his hand. You can smell the hoppy beer from there, “so, I was thinking shelves right across the back wall,” he spreads his fingers in a gesture across the breadth of the garage, “what do ya think?” 

“Right, er, what kind of shelves.” 

“I got storage in the basement. Mostly beer glasses and the like. Some car models. It’s gonna be a little bar or whatever. Need somewhere to chill,” he nudges you with his elbow, “’specially since I’m making lots of new friends.” 

You glance over at him from the corner of your eyes and step forward. You go to the wall and touch it. They’ve been newly put up and finished. Sturdy. You knock on it so you can hear where the anchoring is. 

“Could do,” you mutter, “when did you do these?” 

“Just finished them. A regrettable winter decision,” he chuckles, “don’t forget to try the wine. I’m sure your sister wouldn’t want it to go to waste.” 

“Oh, yeah,” you shift, standing on an angle to him. You raise the glass and take a sip, your face scrunching up at the acrid but sweet flavour. 

“You really don’t drink, do you?” He scoffs as he nears. 

“Never really saw the use in it,” you shrug. 

“Should be clearer after living with the jackass Barber,” he snorts, “you seem like you could use the escape. Must be awkward pent up with the newlyweds.” 

“I guess...” you rub your neck. “So, the shelves, how tall--” 

“We can talk business tomorrow,” he interrupts, “I’ll get dinner on. How about you come hang on the deck while I cook?” 

“Sure, er,” you turn to him stiffly, “I could help.” 

“That’s sweet,” his eyes flick up and down, “but I invited you. You sit back and relax and enjoy the wine. It gets better the more you drink.” 

You clamp your lips shut and follow him back through the open door. He hits the button for it to close and directs you through the gate. You head up onto the deck and look around as you clasp the glass in both hands. 

“Sit,” he insists as he points to the cushions on the wicker frame. “I’ll get this going...” 

You take his command. You sit in the very corner of the patio couch and cross one leg over the other. You have a habit of trying to make yourself as small as you can. Next to him, it's easy. 

You sit and shrink as he moves around. He lights the barbecue then disappears inside once more. He brings out a plate of burgers and some veggies to grill, along with foiled potatoes to bake. He returns one more with the bottle of wine. 

“In case you want a top up,” he winks. 

“Thanks,” you murmur. 

He picks up his beer and sips as he goes to work. He puts the potatoes on first and closes the lid. He turns to lean on the railing and watches you. You drink to keep yourself busy. 

“So, you hear Jack White is coming to town?” He asks. 

Your eyes flit to him then away, “yeah.” 

“How about you tag along?” He offers. 

“Oh, I can’t--” 

“My treat,” he interjects. 

“It’s nice but...” 

“But what? You’re a fan.” 

“Sure, but er, it... would be too much.” 

“Hm, who says so? Seems like you got too many people in your ear. I wanna take you out. We can get some dinner too.” 

“Oh, would that... are you... asking me out?” You blanch. 

He guffaws, “uh, already did. You think I brought you over for your thoughts about shelves? It’s a bonus.” 

“Uh. I didn’t think... oh.” 

“Oh? I thought I was pretty forward. Why are you here if you’re not into it?” 

Because you told me to. Because you made me. Because I can’t go back. 

You shrug, “guess I misunderstood.” 

“You’re cute, you like good music, and I like you.” 

“You do?” You frown. 

“Don’t act so surprised,” he scoffs and nears the couch, he sits next to you. Close. Too close. “The other women around here, they talk too much. You’re calm, quiet. I’m too old for all that. I know what I want.” 

You nod as your throat tightens. 

“And you need a man, not a boy,” he tickles your side and swigs from his beer. 

You fidget. A chill ripples over you. You’re reminded of another instant, another touch that made you unsure, another man who told you what you wanted. 

You wince at the sliver of a memory and the glass slips in your hand. You garble as it tips before you can right it and it splashes onto his shirt, soaking the sleeve and down the side. He retracts in surprise. 

“Sorry,” you squeak, “I’m sorry, Walter, I didn’t mean to.” 

He stands and puts his beer down. He chuckles and you squirm, preparing yourself for his rage. You stare at him as you straighten the wet glass. 

“I’m really sorry, I don’t know what happened.” 

“It’s good, just some wine,” he peels his shirt over his head and your eyes widen at the reveal of his thick torso. You gulp as you can’t help but notice the thick muscles and dark trim of fur. “You get any on you?” 

“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” you look down, thankful for the excuse to tear your gaze away from him. 

“I’ll go grab a fresh shirt,” he says. “Can I get you anything?” 

“N-no,” you stammer out and stand up, “I’m sorry.” 

“Relax,” he nears and rubs your shoulder, “it’s adorable when you get all flustered but I’m not mad. Pour yourself another glass.” 

You keep your eyes down and nod. He brushes by you, too close for your liking, and you go to the round glass table. Adorable? You don't know if you've ever been called that.

You take the wine and pour from the long neck. You don��t know what else to do. You’re so nervous. Maybe the alcohol will help. You’ve heard it called liquid courage. 

You pick up the glass again and go to the railing to look off into the green yard. You didn’t notice the hot tub before. His yard is just as well kept as any. As you try to distract yourself from what he said, your mind resists. 

He likes you? You’re not that stupid that you don’t know what’s going on. You’re only unsure. He’s moving so fast and you hardly know him really. He doesn’t really know you and yet he acts like he does. 

Even so, you don’t feel like you can deny him. You try, over and over, and he just bulldozes over you. Still, you can’t name one thing he’s done that’s been so wrong. 

The back door snaps again as Walter appears. He pulls down a tee shirt and smiles as he shakes out his hair. He combs his fingers through his curls. 

“Thought I got this mop under control,” he chortles as you watch him over your shoulder. He grabs his beer from where he left it and approaches, “so... you checking out the hot tub?” 

“Oh, uh, no, just... the flowers--” 

“My daughter deals with those,” he says, “you wanna hop in after dinner? Get in a soak?” 

“Erm, I don’t think so. I don’t have a suit.” 

“And?” 

You blink at his suggestion. Naked? You look down at the wine and gulp another mouthful. 

“You keep drinking that wine and think about it,” he taps your butt and backs up, “I should get those burgers going.” 

You keep your eyes ahead of you, staring off across the lawn as your heart races. What do you do? You can’t go back to your sister’s house, not after your run-in with Andy. You’ll just have to stick it out and hope he forgets about the hot tub. 

[steddiealltheway]

Part Four of The Danger in Romanticizing. Part One. Part Three. Ao3 Link

Steve reaches out beside him, trying to wind his arms around the warm body next to him. His arms wrap around a bare torso, smooth even as his fingertips trace over tattooed skin. He presses his chest against the man’s back, pulling him in closer and burying his face in the dark messy curls and breathing in deep.

It feels... perfect.

Steve wonders how he got so lucky to be able to wake up next to this perfect man.

His heart thuds in his chest gradually getting louder and faster to the point that it startles Steve. He slowly cracks an eye open, wondering what the hell is happening, confusion clouding his brain.

“Steve!” Robin yells, knocking louder. “Wake up!”

Steve is suddenly startled back into reality, scrambling back and staring at the pillow in his arms that used to be...

Fuck.

That would be the last time Steve goes to bed thinking about not thinking about Eddie which ultimately ended with him... thinking about him. And dreaming about him.

He groans and rubs his hands over his face.

“Steve!”

“Just a minute,” Steve groans. He slowly makes his way out of bed and opens the door a few inches. “What?”

Robin looks him up and down. “What type of dream were you having? You’ve never slept that deeply before.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Steve says, closing his eyes and leaning his head against the doorframe. “What time is it?”

“Ten.”

Steve cracks an eye open. “What?”

“Yeah, you slept in for once. But hey, do you want to go to Chrissy’s and Eddie’s tonight? They invited us over for dinner.”

The last thing Steve needs to do is see Eddie. “Yeah, that sounds great.” Shit.

Robin smiles wide and says, “Great. Now shower before you stink up the place.”

Steve gives her a look before he shuts the door. He glances down at his chest and notices the way his chest hair is slightly damp with sweat. “Gross,” he mumbles as he grabs a towel and makes his way to the bathroom to try to wash away all memories of the PG dream that somehow wrecked him.

-:-:-:-:-:-

All day, Steve tries not to worry about the upcoming visit.

It’s just Chrissy, Robin, and the man who he’s only seen twice who is quickly taking up all the space in his brain.

It doesn’t help that Robin’s been pressing him about the dream which was first out of concern when she thought his nightmares had come back. Once Steve had (regrettably) informed her that the dream was definitely not a nightmare, her concern turned into morbid curiosity.

“Come on, you’ve told me about your wet dreams before. Why is this any different?” Robin asks as she puts on mascara.

Steve fixes his hair in the mirror next to her and groans, “It wasn’t a wet dream.”

“Okay, so an even easier dream to share with your best friend,” she says, nudging him.

And any other time, Steve would’ve given in, but with the subject of his dream being the best friend of Robin’s girlfriend, who Steve swore he didn’t like, it makes things... complicated.

Robin gasps, “Was it something about Collin?”

Steve grimaces, “God no. Don’t put those thoughts in my head or my unconscious brain might betray me.”

“And did it betray you last night?”

Steve narrows his eyes at her. “Why do you want to know so badly?”

“Because it’s clearly bothering you!”

“I think it’s bothering you more than it’s bothering me,” Steve snarks back.

Robin huffs, “You’re deflecting.”

“Dating a psych major has expanded your vocabulary, I see.”

“Steve.”

He sighs and turns to Robin. “It was nothing really. I was just cuddling with some random person, and it didn’t make me want to get out of bed apparently.”

The frown on Robin’s face deepens as she moves back from the mirror and puts her mascara down. Her eyes follow the tube down to the counter as she contemplates something. She turns to Steve and asks, “Do you want me to try to set you up with someone?”

Steve instantly thinks of Eddie and suppresses a groan as he shakes his head. There’s no use trying to get with someone else until he can successfully unromanticize Eddie. And yes, it’ll be torture, but he doesn’t want to hurt someone else in the process like he has in the past.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Robin asks gently.

Steve gives her a sad smile and shakes his head. “I was really an asshole in high school.”

Robin lays a hand on his arm and squeezes. “No use punishing yourself for it now.”

He knows she’s trying to help him feel better, but it just further confirms what he already knows. He wishes he could call some of the girls he dragged around back when he was so hung up on Nancy and couldn’t think about the feelings of anyone else involved. But it’s too late now.

Steve glances at himself in the mirror. He knows he hasn’t physically changed too much from when he was in high school considering it’s only been a few years, but he sees a new haunted expression in his eyes that didn’t use to be there before. He’s grateful that Robin and the kids had such a drastic effect on his life and changed his entire worldview, but sometimes he misses the blissful ignorance that came with being a popular asshole.

He glances down at his watch and decides he should probably change into something more presentable for dinner. His heart lifts a little when he thinks about wearing his blue polo with the green stripe and hoping Eddie will find some amusement in his preppy choice. “I’m gonna get changed,” Steve dismisses himself, quick to lock himself in his room so he can stare in the mirror longer than necessary.

Soon enough, he’s listening to Robin’s poor instructions as she attempts to guide him to Chrissy and Eddie’s place while getting distracted and forgetting key turns. “You’ve been dating Chrissy for a month now; shouldn’t you stop worrying about perfecting your mascara?”

Robin continues to stare at herself in the mirror, somehow still focused on the mascara she’s been touching up for hours before they even left. “I would like to date her for another month, and if that means perfect mascara, then I’m keeping it that way.”

Steve rolls his eyes at her and hits his brakes sharply when Robin yells at him to turn right. He sighs and asks, “And in the two years you’ve known her, you’ve had perfect mascara every time?”

“I would touch it up anytime we were put on a shift together at the coffee shop.”

“And every time during your destined first class together?” Steve asks, smiling as he recalls all the time Robin would come home bitching and moaning about how wonderful her coworker Chrissy seemed but she never had a chance with her. But last year when they unknowingly registered for the same class and Chrissy sat next to her, Robin seemed to have a small change of heart. She used to tell Steve that the universe perfectly aligned in order to get a class with her. Steve was quick to point out that it was pretty lucky for her to already be working at the campus coffee shop with her.

“Every time,” Robin says.

Steve shakes his head and checks his hair in the mirror as they approach a stop sign. He quickly stops himself when he realizes he’s a bit of a hypocrite to make fun of Robin for wanting to look perfect when he’s doing the same thing.

“Oh! It’s right there!” Robin says as Steve nearly misses the turn into the apartment complex.

Thankfully, Robin puts her mascara away and guides him to a parking space. When they get out, Steve stares up at the building and whistles low. It’s one of the nicer apartment complexes in the area that he and Robin couldn’t afford when they first got here.

“They’re on the third floor,” Robin announces, gesturing for Steve to follow her.

As he makes his way up to the top floor, Steve thinks that maybe he does prefer their cheaper first-floor apartment. He takes a deep breath as Robin knocks on the first door to the right. It swings open almost immediately and Chrissy practically jumps out of the door to hug Robin.

Steve smiles and politely averts his eyes to let them have their moment. He hears Chrissy say, “Steve!” as he’s also pulled into a tight hug before being welcomed inside.

He looks around at the space, a living room decorated with nice darker blue and pale pink tones in front of him and an open kitchen to the right with a tall kitchen island that acts as a bar next to a small dining area. There’s only one hallway to the right where he assumes Chrissy’s and Eddie’s rooms are.

“Eddie! Our guests are here!”

Steve smiles as he hears light cursing coming from the room on the left, closest to the living room before the door flies open and Eddie leans out with a sheepish look on his face. “And what if I said my room is not ready for Steve’s tour?”

Chrissy rolls her eyes. “Then I would say that you’ve been in there for hours procrastinating, and I would ask if a clean room is a true representation of how you live.”

“Then I would say you’re rude.”

Chrissy sticks her tongue out at him before grabbing Robin’s hand and pulling her to the kitchen to test something she’s cooking.

“It smells amazing in here,” Steve says as he takes in the smell of baking bread.

“That’s all Chrissy. I’m pretty sure I would burn the place down if I attempted to make a grilled cheese,” Eddie confesses as he makes his way to Steve.

Steve laughs. “What do you do when Chrissy isn’t available to cook?”

“He starves!”

Eddie glares at Chrissy momentarily. “I know how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and order takeout.”

“Very impressive, Munson,” Robin says with a laugh.

Eddie frowns and wraps his arm around Steve’s shoulders. “I’m going to take Steve here on a nice tour of the place so I can get away from you two.” As the girls roll their eyes, Eddie lowers his voice and says, “You see what I have to deal with every time you’re not around?”

Steve turns to him and fights the urge to run a nervous hand through his hair because of the close proximity. “It’s a very rough life you live.”

“Someone understands!” Eddie exclaims dramatically. “And before anyone can argue with me, let me start your tour.” He grabs Steve’s hand and runs down the hall which startles a laugh out of him.

“Why are we running?”

“It’s a speed tour so you don’t get the chance to truly look at my room! But first, we have Chrissy’s room.” Eddie opens the door on the right and gestures around at the room filled with pretty pastels. “She has a wonderful bathroom to herself but much less closet space.”

Before Steve can really comment or take it in, Eddie rushes off to the door to his room, opens it, and shuts it. “My room.”

“Wait,” Steve says as he gets a flash of dark colors and clutter. “You can’t do that.”

“My house, my rules.”

Steve goes to cross his arms but doesn’t when he realizes Eddie’s hand is still in his. “And what if I break the rules?” he challenges.

“We’ll just have to see, won’t we?” Eddie flirts easily.

“Eddie!” Chrissy groans loudly. “Stop being a perv.”

Eddie sighs, “I’m not- hey!”

Steve takes the distraction to open the door and rush into the room, nearly stepping into a pile of clothes in the process. He wasn’t lying when he said it was not ready for a tour.

“Well… this is me…” Eddie comments, scratching at his neck and flushing a light shade of pink. He stoops over and grabs a pile of clothes before dumping them in a laundry basket in the corner of the room.

So, maybe he isn’t so perfect after all. Steve tries to shrug away the thought that maybe that’s okay and instead tries to focus on chiseling away at the perfect image he’s started to form of Eddie. He glances around at the posters covering the wall with things that Steve doesn’t recognize until he spots a few picture frames on Eddie’s desk. He bends down and sees a picture of Eddie with an older man. “Is this the uncle you told me about? The one that works at the plant.”

“You remember that?” Eddie asks as he makes his way over to the table.

“Of course,” Steve comments nonchalantly.

 Eddie gives him a quick questioning look before turning his gaze toward the photo. A fond look crosses over his face. “Yeah, that’s my uncle Wayne.” He points at another picture frame with a picture of him and a few guys with matching shirts on. “That’s both Hellfire Club and Corroded Coffin – my metal band.” He moves on to the next frames and continues, “And you’ll never guess who those two are.”

Steve laughs at the picture of Chrissy and Eddie in graduation gowns much like the picture he has with Robin except Eddie’s sticking his tongue out and making devil horns with his fingers while Chrissy laughs and holds up what looks like a pom-pom.

“Chrissy was a cheerleader?”

Eddie snorts. “The queen cheerleader actually. I carried that pom-pom under my gown during that whole ceremony so she could have it in photos.”

Steve smiles as his mind tries to form the memory. He looks around at the other frames and can’t help but ask, “There's no pictures of you and… the sort of boyfriend who has no name?”

Eddie huffs and looks down. “No, it’s not… like that. I don’t think. It’s not serious, I mean. Maybe. I don’t know.” He shakes his head and quietly says, “His name is Declan.”

“Declan?” Steve can’t help but say with a laugh.

“What’s wrong with the name?” Eddie asks defensively but a small smile tugs at his lips.

Steve just shrugs and repeats, “Declan.” The name doesn’t feel right.

Eddie sighs, “Well, it’s not like he chose it, Steve.”

The tone Eddie says his name makes Steve cross his arms. “What’s wrong with my name, Eddie?”

An interesting redness creeps up Eddie’s neck as he shakes his head and says, “Nothing.” He suddenly gasps and grabs Steve’s hand, tugging him to the corner of his room. “I have to show you my sweetheart.”

Steve’s heart simultaneously skips a beat and sinks as the nickname slips out of Eddie’s mouth. But then Eddie is gently caressing a guitar hanging on the wall in a way that makes Steve’s heart yearn for the same touch.

“She’s gorgeous,” Steve comments, turning his attention to the guitar. And although he’s never known much about instruments, he can understand why this one deserves the attention it receives from its owner. And it’s especially gorgeous when Steve imagines that same owner playing it, slowly moving his fingers across the strings and-

Steve shakes his head and tries to get a grip of himself, but he can’t help but envision something with Eddie especially when the whole “not serious” comment plays over and over in his head.

“You alright?”

Steve glances back at Eddie and nods with a tight smile. “Just lost in thought.”

It seems as if Eddie’s going to ask what he’s thinking about, but instead, he says, “Let’s finish up the tour.” He maneuvers around a stack of papers and books lying on the ground and leads Steve to another door on the left side of his room. “And here is my meticulous bathroom that Chrissy requires me to keep clean in case we have guests over.”

Steve glances around as Eddie leads him through it to the other door that leads right back into the open living space. “Weird layout, I know. But it’s grown on me.” Eddie shrugs and gestures at the end of the hall. “That there is our laundry room, but that’s not important. What is important is this,” Eddie announces, grabbing Steve’s hand again.

Steve can tell that Robin is staring at them, but he lets himself get lost in all that is Eddie as a tour guide when he suddenly yanks the curtains on the wall open. At first, Steve thinks it’s some type of joke until pink and orange light somewhat blinds him as a glass door is revealed. Eddie opens it up immediately and tugs him out onto a small balcony with a small porch swing. But Steve barely notices it as he stares out at the view.

He hears a small creak behind him and he turns to see Eddie sitting on the porch swing, rocking back and forth slowly. He gestures Steve over, and he’s quick to join him, liking how it’s on the smaller side so he has an excuse to stay in Eddie’s space as he looks out at the sunset. “It’s beautiful,” Steve comments, not sure what else he can say to describe the sight. He’s never been the greatest with words, but beautiful seems to encapsulate the moment perfectly.

They both sit there in silence for a few moments, leaning into each other’s space and watching as the sun paints the sky as it slowly goes down.

Eddie pushes his shoulder into Steve’s a bit before quietly asking, “So, everything went alright with Buckley, I assume?”

Steve’s heart sinks as he recalls the previous day. “Yeah, we talked it out a bit and had a nice night. But I’m sorry you witnessed that and thank you again for all that you did.”

“It wasn’t much,” Eddie shrugs it off.

Steve turns to him and looks him in the eye, catching the way the light makes his eyes turn an amber color that nearly distracts him from what he’s saying. “It meant a lot to me.”

The sincerity of it must unnerve Eddie, as he quickly changes the subject. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed by the way.”

“Noticed what?” Steve asks.

Eddie’s eyes flicker down. “The horrendous polo.”

Steve laughs and can’t help but note that Chrissy was right about Eddie deflecting with humor, but maybe one day he’ll be able to get past that.

“You look good though,” Eddie admits and turns away as he says it; the lack of the overly flirtatious tone Eddie usually uses makes Steve feel damn butterflies in his stomach.

“You do too,” Steve replies, taking a moment to truly appreciate Eddie’s aesthetic from the ripped jeans to the band tee shirt with a hem that was cropped probably with a pair of blunt scissors to the big silver rings that adorn his fingers. But Steve’s eyes rest on a bit of blank ink peeking out from under the collar of Eddie’s shirt. “You have to tell me what your tattoos mean.”

Eddie smiles softly and points at the bats on the side of his arm. “This was my first one, and I was absolutely scared shitless. I mean-”

There’s a light knock on the door that interrupts them. Chrissy pokes her head out and says, “Phone for you, Eddie.”

Eddie sighs, “Is it important?”

Steve can’t help but feel a little pride at the fact that Eddie would be willing to ignore a phone call to continue this conversation with him.

“Not to me, but I guess it would be to you,” Chrissy answers with an edge to her voice.

Steve sees Eddie’s entire persona shift as he stands up quickly and asks, “Now?”

Chrissy nods but doesn’t look pleased about it while Eddie glances at Steve and back at the living room a few times before mumbling, “Shit,” under his breath and rushing inside.

Steve stands up cautiously and gives Chrissy a look. “Sorry,” Chrissy says entirely apologetic as Steve follows her back inside. But by then, the call is already over, and Eddie is rushing off to his room.

Steve watches as Chrissy storms off after him and closes the door behind her with a little more force than needed. “What’s happening?” Steve asks Robin.

Robin just shrugs and watches cautiously as it’s revealed to them that Eddie’s and Chrissy’s walls are much more soundproof than their own. But as muffled as it is, there’s no mistaking that an argument is occurring.

“Would it be horrible if we snuck into the joint bathroom so we could listen in?” Robin whispers.

Before Steve can answer, the door to Eddie’s room opens, and Eddie comes out having changed into a black pair of jeans with no rips, a plain black shirt, no rings, and his hair in a low ponytail. Chrissy follows him out with a clearly frustrated look on her face. “You said you would be here for this dinner.”

Eddie turns around and argues, “You know he doesn’t call often!”

“Because he isn’t good for you!”

“Because he works hard! He’s always on call at the hospital! I’ve told you this, Chris!”

Chrissy follows him toward the front door. “You could’ve invited him to dinner.”

Eddie turns back and lowly says, “You know that’s not how he works he… I don’t know.’

“Please, Eddie, listen to yourself.”

Eddie shakes his head and grabs his keys and wallet out of a bowl by the front door. “Don’t do this right now, okay? Just let me have this moment so I don’t upset him.”

The pair stare at each other for a few moments, a brief silent exchange occurring between the two of them that makes Steve wonder if that’s what he and Robin look like.

“At least apologize to our guests,” Chrissy says curtly.

Eddie glances at the two of them slowly, cringing as he takes Steve and Robin in as if had forgotten about them. “I’m sorry. I just… I have to go.” His eyes linger on Steve for a moment before he repeats, “I have to go,” and rushes out of the apartment.

Chrissy puts her head in her hands and sighs as the door closes loudly. “I apologize on his behalf.”

As Steve finally processes the conversation, he gently asks, “Was that about Declan?”

Chrissy nods and looks back at them tiredly. “Yes.” A timer goes off, saving her from saying anything else as she preps the dinner made for four.

The disappointment settles in Steve’s gut, but he tells himself not to let it show. He’s been there before, having feelings so intensely for someone that it seems like the most important thing in the world. And the feelings are only exasperated by someone who only gives you some of their time as if you’re a second thought… and by the sounds of it… Steve wonders what Eddie’s definition of “perfect” is. And how far he’s already romanticized this man.

Selfishly, he wonders if he would ever be better than the romanticization, and if Eddie would ever choose him over this “sort of” boyfriend.

Steve shakes his head. Slowly but surely, his own romanticization is being chiseled away, and as much as he knows it’s a good thing, it feels so bad.

Tag List, I know it's been MONTHS. I am so so sooooo sorry ahhhhh. But I have SO MANY plans. I SWEAR. I love you guys:

@henderdads @heyitsmeep @estrellami-1 @she-collects-smut @paperbackribs @panicatthediaz @the-unforgivenn @mackdaddyofheimlichcountyy @bookworm0690 @steddiereid @cherries-and-smoke @brbsoulnomming @deadfromtheneckdown @cosmos-lore @vhelt @i-less-than-three-you @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @whycantiuseunderscore @ytmnzwhre @vacantwatchers @ilovecupcakesandtea @irregular-child @spilled-jar @snapshotmaestro @myownworstenemyyy @silversnaffles

@surreal-honeypot @redfreckledwolf @dcamato @lostonceandneverfound @ajs624 @auroraplume @space-invading-pigeon @bookbinderbitch @leather-and-freckles @inapickleinajar @phirex22 @notaqueenakhaleesi @beckkthewreck @mightbeasleep @th30ra3k3n @fandomfix8 @tanthamorelover @3ldr1tchang3l @little-trash-ghost @haelreadsshit @moonythepluviophile @saramelaniemoon @slutty-weather @tinyplanet95 @foolishness-and-confusion @ape31 @thephantomhood @ilikeititspretty @zaddipax @jcmadgirl @shotgunhallelujah @notfromtwitter

@monsterloverforhire @sherilitchi @anaibis @ashwagandalf @overhillunderhill @marklee-blackmore @messrs-weasley @tolgakolik @pearynice @fruitandbubbles @classof86baby @aellafreya @r1ver-6 @l0st-strawberry @munsonslure @moltenchocolatelavacake @sleepdeprivedflower @0milkman0 @ihavekidneys @bird-with-pencils @sharingisntkaren @novelnovella @zoeweee @socksfanpage @viridianphtalo @octopus-in-cripsis @lillemilly @genderless-spoon @pineappleskiesxx @meganwinchester @phoenixtheone @jaybren @patricks-fabulous-face @idoquitelikebread

[fanfoolishness]

Severance Masterpost

With season 2 of Severance wending towards its conclusion, there are doubtless more of my stories to come. Given this inevitability it is imperative that I provide you, cherished readers, with a simple way to access these annals of Lumon Industries and its severed workers. I apologize for the regrettable delay in the penning of this masterpost, but if you harbor grievances regarding my tardiness, kindly devour feculence. Last updated 3/18/2025.

And for my AO3 versions: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2905794

-

Canonically Compliant Tales and Scenarios

The News, drabble. Mark Scout answers a knock at the door. He'll never be the same.

The Rewards, 1500 words. Mark Scout gets fired from Ganz University, but a new path presents itself.

New Threads, 1731 words. Lumon requires company clothing for all severed workers. Mark Scout gets fitted.

first day jitters, 1500 words. Mark Scout's first day at Lumon.

The Barrens, ~ 2000 words. Mark Scout goes camping to clear his head. It doesn't work.

Nine Hundred and Seventeen, 1500 words. Leaving the Break Room isn't easy.

ghosts, 2400 words. Sometimes it feels like Devon's grieving two deaths.

Another and Another, 1375 words. Mostly, Mark tries not to think about his drinking. Mostly.

Session 7.2, drabble. Mark S. attends a particularly punitive Wellness session.

Perks, drabble. Dylan G. examines his rewards.

the way we get by, 4000 words. Mark S. suffers from a mysterious illness, and his terminal only shows the sort of numbers that make him feel like crying.

the empty desk, 2250 words. Focus on 1x05/1x06. Mark S. grapples with Helly's empty desk.

The World in Kodachrome, 1200 words. Irving and Burt explore a world of countless colors.

what's in a name? Drabble. Helly R. reflects on her own.

All Glory Be in Service to the Nine, drabble. Harmony Cobel returns home.

unsteady, ~1100 words. Devon is there for Mark. Every Mark. Spoilers up to 2x09.

Verbal Meta-Analysis and Graphical Interpretation of Kier's Word:

Food and its absence: a long-form essay on food as connection throughout the show. Season 2 update.

Severance and facing grief - hopes for the ultimate narrative goal of the show.

Mark S. is fading away - thoughts on reintegration.

All my Severance fanart can be found at @doodlingfoolishness.

[sparklecryptid]

AtB!Reveal due to the kids singing one of Uncle Ardyn’s favorite songs for his birthday - ‘Before He Cheats’

“I believe,” Persephone says as she and her siblings stare at the mess magic had made of Ace’s bar, “That we may have gotten a bit carried away.”

The rest of their siblings shift nervously under Ace’s stare. Persephone is the only one that meets his gaze.

“You also took part in this.” Persephone gestures to the mess around them. “This isn’t all our fault.”

In the corner Ardyn is still passed out with a party hat on his head. Ace turns to their uncle and something in his gaze softens. They all know that Ace and Ardyn have a relationship that goes beyond what is expected of uncle and nephew. They all know that Ardyn would take Ace in as his own son if the world would let them have that.

“Fine,” Ace concedes to her point and turns his gaze back to his siblings, “You’re right, but I expect help with cleaning this up.”

Persephone wonders which of them will have to wake Ardyn up to clean the area he’s in.

The siblings share a look and decide that Ace can do it.

-

In the middle of their cleaning, the Crownsguard arrive much to everyone’s shock.

“Uh,” Thanatos says because that is very much Cor and Clarus standing in front of them, “Hi, welcome to Genesis, how can I help you?”

“You don’t work here,” Ace deadpans and casually moves to block Ardyn from view. Persephone has a feeling their uncle is feigning sleep now, and that it’s probably for the best that things don’t escalate.

Persephone steps forward to stand beside Ace.

“Is there anything we can help you with?” She asks pleasantly. Around them her siblings shift, subtle enough to not be noticed to anyone that isn’t highly attuned to their magic. Persephone knows that none of them want to fight, but it’s never good when government officials come knocking at your door unannounced.

Cor raises an eyebrow.

“We’re here about the video from last night.” Is all he says.

The air freezes.

“What video?” Ace asks carefully, “I don’t recall posting anything that would draw the attention of the Crownsguard.”

“It wasn’t you,” Clarus says and looks directly at Bard who is frantically scrolling through her social media feed and rapidly paling, “Your sister posted a rather interesting video last night, we would like to speak to you all about it.”

“Shit,” Bard swears as she watches a video on her phone. She looks up at the incredulous gaze of her siblings and sheepishly smiles.

“Sorry.”

“What the fuck, B?” Mercury says, “What did you post?”

“Do none of us remember last night?” Bard asks, “Because I remember nothing after Uncle broke out that mead made from that Old Sol recipe-“

Ace furrows his brow. “I remember singing.” He offers.

Persephone frowns.

“I think there was - oh,” Persephone sighs, “You posted us doing magic didn’t you?”

“Regrettably,” Bard says, “That’s the case.”

“I pity your notifications,” Jupiter says.

Cor clears his throat, all eyes go back to him.

A dark chuckle in the back of the room makes everyone freeze.

Ardyn stands, an intimidating figure even with the silly party hat on his head.

“If you must interrogate my darling nieces and nephews,” Ardyn drawls as he strides out from behind the table to stand between Ace and Persephone and drop a hand on each of their shoulders, “I’m afraid I must insist on being there. I have little faith in their father to do the right thing you see?”

[ordinaryschmuck]

Why I Love The Owl House: Part 5-The Themes

Prev Part

Salutations, random people on the internet who are already skimming past this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

And we’re just two parts away from me never talking about The Owl House again! In previous parts, we’ve talked about the characters, their relationships, and the narrative threads that are closely tied to them. For this part, we’re now discussing the show’s themes and messages. And I’ll level with you all: I’m admittedly...faulty at this part of media analysis. Anything regarding the discussion of a theme or message that a story tries to tell is something I struggle to do right. I regrettably either come across a theme through luck or piggybacking off of what others have said and throwing my two cents in. When it comes to putting it in my own words, I just…have issues in describing what the theme is. Hell, this whole part was the hardest to write because I often drew a blank of what to discuss or how to dig into it further. A part of me, deep down, KNOWS what a story is trying to say but I, a lot of the time, struggle finding the right words to best convey it.

Yeah, isn’t that rich? An English Major with a limited vocabulary and an ineptitude towards analysis. My life sucks sometimes…

With that said, there are some things that I’ve noticed about The Owl House and what it’s trying to tell to kids and maybe a few adults. A lot of its messages are definitely simple to older audiences, but with the things it has to say to kids it makes The Owl House something important to watch if they’re to shape the future. And no, I’m not talking about those lessons told at the end of each episode, but overall themes that occur through the course of the series. As far as I can tell, The Owl House has about…thirteen things to say about life, love, the trials of growing up, and how to deal with people. Plus, much like the narratives, it’s all tied closely to the characters and their personal journeys. Does the show say everything it needs to say well? Or is this another case of “If the show had more time it’d be better” and all that yada-yada? Well, let’s find out together as we count off the things that The Owl House has to say. Starting with a point the series makes exponentially clear:

(Also, prepare thyself. This one is twenty-five pages)

Honesty is the best policy 

I don’t know if you noticed, but these characters tend to lie. A LOT. And we’ve already gone into great detail with how often Luz lies in previous parts. Whether it's to her mom, her girlfriend, or friend group, Luz tends to keep some dark truths from the people she cares about. It’s partially selfish, but it comes from not wanting them to worry about her when they’re the ones currently going through it. It’s part of Luz’s bigger flaw of caring more for others than she does for herself (Which we’ll get to later), but the point remains constant that if she told the truth sooner, she’d have saved a lot of pain and heartache for herself and others. Same goes for other characters who lie for similar reasons but with greater consequences.

Going from least hurtful to most, let’s start with Eda, the one who lies in two different ways. The most obvious lies come with her pain, primarily the curse. She initially chose to keep her mouth shut about it, hoping that it’ll never turn into a big deal or a problem. If you’ve been paying attention to her character’s journey, you can tell how wrong that assumption was. When keeping it a secret from the rest of her family, the Owl Beast came out at the worst possible time, making Dell disabled and Gwen desperate to get the beast out of her precious daughter. By underplaying how bad it is to Raine, it makes Raine think their relationship isn’t serious enough so they break it off. She didn’t even tell Luz and King until they met the Owl Beast themselves and tried to survive it. Eda had King in her home for eight years and this was the first time he’s ever known ANYTHING about the Owl Beast. And even then, she still hides that it’s getting worse by the day, giving King and Luz an IDEA of what Eda’s going through but withholding the part that could upset them. Just telling them about the curse is arguably Eda at her most honest about what’s wrong with her, and she still doesn’t want to reveal everything. It’s part of this underlying problem where Eda’s unwilling to reveal the pain inside herself because, well, she’s the big bad Owl Lady. The most powerful witch on the Boiling Isles. And with a title like that, she doesn’t want anyone to know that she’s fragile. She tried being fragile once in the beginning of “Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances,” detailing what the curse does to her, and it made her mother go a little overboard in wanting to help her precious daughter. Needless to say, she’s not willing to go through that again, especially since Luz and Raine proves her point by putting themselves in danger when knowing how much Eda hurts. When Luz learns about how bad the curse got, she practically threw herself into the arms of the Emperor to find this specific thing that could help. And with Raine, while Eda opened up more about the curse and how it affected her magic, she still remains tight lipped about another thing: Her kids. She never brought them up, hiding her turmoil about them leaving her for good and was lucky enough that Raine found out soon enough so that SHE won’t abandon Luz and King when they still need her. It’s fortunate that Raine found out by accident, but UNFORTUNATE that it led to them getting captured to save Eda so she could talk things out with her kids. In Eda’s eyes, vulnerability means that you need to be helped or protected, with the ones you love paying the price more. She hates that feeling and despises it even more when people she loves get in danger because of it. Eda eventually finds her way out of this mindset thanks to the love King and Luz share with her and how Hooty and Dell prove that facing pain head on is the only way to heal from it. It was a slow process, but one that eventually led to her opening up more, even allowing herself to cry when she would usually hide her pain with a smile or push it down for the sake of a brave face. She becomes honest with her own pain, with her curse, and how much she truly cares about her loved ones. However, that’s more of a general lie with Eda. There’s one specific lie that she told that went on for way too long.

Lying to King about being a King of Demons seemed harmless at first. Eda was just messing around with what she thought was a pet. Only for that pet to prove he’s more intelligent than she thought and, as a result, more delusional. King took being the King of Demons as part of his whole identity, with every action he made trying to live out that fantasy. By the time Eda revealed the truth, it’s like telling a child that there’s no such thing as Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, AND the Tooth Fairy all at once. Only the effects would be ten times worse because it would destroy all of King’s sense of self AND give him questions that Eda wouldn’t have any answers to. Eda knew this inevitability would come any day now, so she put it off as long as she could, initially hoping that King would outgrow this fantasy himself so she won’t have to rip off this particular bandaid. Only to be backed into a corner because King and the others almost got killed in trying to prove that King’s really, well, a king. This time, telling a lie actually put someone in danger, so Eda tried the truth for a change and, well…it crushed him. More accurately, it shattered King’s core identity and sense of what's real and what isn't. Eda saw this, immediately felt guilty for holding it in for too long, but never comes to regret this decision. It’s something she KNEW needed to be done from the start and accepts the “consequences” of what comes from this lie. I put “consequences” in quotes because aside from a lot of tears being shed, this was the first step to King growing up and he would come to appreciate the honesty (even though he had a long, emotionally draining road ahead). Eda telling the truth WAS for the better, even if she should have told it long ago. But, all things considered, the lie wasn’t THAT bad of one. It was done to keep King happy and let him have some childhood innocence for a while…As for the lie AMITY told?

All Amity had to tell Willow was that her parents are forcing them apart because Willow’s family isn’t rich enough. That’s all. It wouldn’t have been great, but it would at least be the truth and Willow could have understood…Maybe. Well, there’s a slight possibility that Willow would have tried talking things out with Amity’s parents or continue to be friends despite them, not caring what they’ll do to her. Amity, not wanting to take that chance, decided it’d be best to make herself look like the bad guy. So, she lied that she doesn’t want to be friends with Willow because her magic is weak, thus distancing herself from her first real friend. Was it an extreme decision that crushed Willow’s heart and left her unsure if she’s capable of doing anything right? Yes. But to be fair…Amity said that lie when she was probably seven years old. I’d like to see what morally correct decision you made at seven.

But the first lie isn’t the worst part about Amity’s decision. In actuality, it’s how she decided to keep the lie going for years until Luz showed up and intervened. In Amity’s “defense,” which is really a frail excuse, she didn’t have any choice but to keep up the act. She already said it, it did its job, and now she has to commit to her lie or risk putting Willow in the warpath of her parents. Amity says it herself that she’s not brave enough to fight them for Willow, so she instead puts on a mask that makes her appear to be a mean girl and further separates herself from her now ex-friend. This led to Amity disrespecting Willow and belittling her because it’s better to have Willow hate Amity instead of let Odalia follow through on her threats. It wasn’t until Luz showed up and started improving Amity’s life that she realized that being nice FEELS nice. Is that an oversimplification? You better believe it is, but I talked about these three characters and this aspect of Amity and Willow’s relationship three parts in a row so LET ME SIMPLIFY! Anywho, it is good that Amity told the truth and it’s even better that she apologized, but it doesn’t change how the initial lie made things worse. In an attempt to protect Willow from Amity’s parents, she left Willow to face bullies and judgmental peers without anyone to comfort her or be in her corner. At least, not until she met Gus and then later Luz. It was almost a well-intentioned lie like Eda’s with King, but while Eda put off the truth to protect King’s innocence, Amity destroyed WILLOW’S with a single lie. By the time the truth came out, it finally STARTED the healing process. It didn’t fully heal Willow, but it STARTED to, with her admitting that making things right with Amity is what jump started her having more confidence. Confidence that she’d have since the beginning if Amity wasn’t the one to crush it by saying Willow being weak is the reason they can’t be friends anymore. Amity had her reasons, and I went over them thoroughly enough in previous parts (Go read THOSE), but it doesn’t change that Amity caused a lot of damage to Willow by lying about why they can’t be friends. On the bright side, while she did keep it going for too long, she at least made things right in about a couple years down the line. It’s not like she kept this one lie going for a dozen years until adulthood and letting things get so worse that it was almost too late to fix things. That would be AWFUL…Anyways, let’s talk about Lilith.

Lilith proves that a lie of omission still counts as a lie. For YEARS she kept in the secret of cursing Eda and for YEARS let Eda’s life get worse because of it. I’ll get to how thoroughly screwed up things got with Eda in a minute, but to keep things brief: Things would not have been as bad if Lilith fessed up sooner. There might have been a lot of yelling, a bruised nose, and Eda proclaiming she has no sister sooner, but time tends to heal all wounds. And they would have had more time to heal if Lilith spit the truth out at fourteen. She would have more time to fix things and prove that she can help Eda, just like how Amity started fixing things with Willow once revealing who was the REAL weak one in the relationship. Now, these are two VASTLY different scenarios and Eda would most certainly have been out for blood immediately, but I’m certain that if the rage settled they could have worked things out and Lilith might have helped Eda with the curse sooner. And, heck, if you go back FURTHER, there’s a chance that honesty could have stopped the curse altogether. If Lilith was honest about her own inadequacy and confessed to Eda about how she’s POSITIVE that her sister would win, Eda would have just shrugged and given the Emperor’s Coven position to Lilith no problem. Granted, joining that coven would have been its own can of worms, but it would have certainly saved Eda a lot of emotional and physical pain. Unfortunately, problems with showing weakness apparently run in the family and Lilith didn’t want to admit that she wasn’t stronger than her sister. She needed to PROVE it…by cheating and completely derailing Eda’s life in the most outrageous fashion. And Lilith would learn years later that the truth really does set one free. But again, I’ll get to that in a minute…

We all have our reasons for being dishonest. They’re selfish reasons in hindsight, but we still have them. Sometimes it’s to stop others from worrying about us, other times it's to hide something we’re ashamed of, and most of the time we just want to stall a bad reaction that we KNOW is inevitable. What we need to learn is that the truth ALWAYS comes out eventually, whether it's through us or through others. We can try to deny the truth, bury it, and hope that it never gets out, but it always does. And what The Owl House tells us is that it’s a GOOD THING for the truth to be out there, especially for loved ones. There might be secrets we HAVE to keep to ourselves, but if you can’t be honest with the people you love, then they can’t effectively help you nor can you help them. It’s always important to be as honest as you can be, because the more you put off the truth the worse the consequences will be. Because you never know how bad one action can snowball into something worse. Which brings me to another theme in the series…

Your actions can have unintended consequences

There are two characters this applies to: Luz and Lilith. You can…probably see where this is headed.

Luz and Lilith tend to make mistakes in the series, Luz more so than Lilith. Granted, Luz’s mistakes mostly stem from her character flaw of not thinking things through, mixed with some impatience and being afraid of confrontation. In other words: She’s a teenager. Dumb teens are going to do some dumb things, and while Luz is smarter than people will give her credit for, she’s still the kid who angered a Slitherbeast by stealing Amity’s wand when Eda’s lessons seemed like they were going nowhere. And that’s just a MINOR thing in Luz’s adventures. We already went over the domino effect last time and how Luz texting ONE LIE to Camila ended up putting her in a more stressful position than how telling the truth outright would have. There are also the many times Luz almost got herself killed, sometimes due to overconfidence or being too emotionally driven to take down someone threatening the people she loves. Most notable examples of that second one definitely comes from being hyper focused on fighting Lilith and Belos in “Young Blood, Old Souls,” which led to the destruction of the portal door and Luz struggling to get back home. Or how Luz thought she could take Belos head on again in "King's Tide," nearly getting petrified in the process if not for smooth talk and tricking him with an invisible branding glove. As for her near death experiences caused by overconfidence, well, let’s see: You have her going on that fake quest for Adeghast, pretending to be an abomination, fighting Grom, challenging Boscha to a grudgby match (That might as well count), and trying to steal the healing hat. And that’s just the stuff that happens in Season One, with some of it carrying over to MORE consequences aside from just almost dying. The wacky adventures in Hexside made Odalia think she has a case to get Luz, Willow, and Gus expelled. And when getting caught by stealing the hat and Lilith consequently using her as bait, it leads to Eda’s curse getting irrevocably worse and Luz being forced to destroy the portal during her attempt to save Eda from Belos. A part of growing up is learning that if you don’t think far enough ahead, you could cause disastrous consequences. Thankfully, for each mistake Luz makes, she is often quick to correct it when the problem arises at any time. Plus, after so many near-death experiences, it eventually molded Luz into becoming the kind of person who doesn't wants lasting consequences over something stupid she did, trying to be more careful in her approach to something. Because Lilith proves just how disastrous it can be to yourself and others if you don't think about the consequences.

The thing is, Lilith PARTIALLY knew the repercussions that came from cursing Eda. Simply put, Eda would have lost the duel and not join the Emperor’s coven. It was a selfish plan made by selfish desires, but Lilith believed she had things all figured out and that things SURELY wouldn’t snowball from there. Turns out, she didn’t think ahead enough (Yeah, big shock). Because everything that went wrong with Eda’s life is all Lilith’s fault. The Owl Beast attacking their dad? Eda running away from their mom? The distance Eda has with her whole family? Eda breaking up with Raine? It all circles back to the curse that Lilith put on her. Now, Eda owns partial blame as some of these were caused by HER actions that no one forced her to make. Yet the curse didn’t help much, especially as it got worse the older Eda got with her magic fading away with the curse’s effects. Lilith excuses this by saying she didn’t expect the curse to last more than a day, as if that actually means anything. Look, I get that she was young and very stupid, with her hyperfixation on joining the Emperor’s Coven blinding Lilith from what was right and wrong. But she still kept that secret for YEARS, not wanting to reveal it until she got a cure for Eda, only to make things worse not just because the curse got stronger and the distance with Eda and Lilith became greater. It’s because., by the time Lilith DOES spit out the truth, Eda’s already at her lowest point with the curse and is furious at Lilith for kidnapping Luz. Just like how Camila would have been LESS upset if Luz told the truth sooner, Eda would be significantly less blood thirsty if Lilith came out and admitted her guilt from the start. I said it with the honest theme: Time heals all wounds, and Luz and Camila prove that forgiveness CAN come if someone proves they’re sorry enough and had more time to reflect on their actions. Lilith was just afraid of that inevitable confrontation that she kept her mouth shut for YEARS to avoid it. She was too scared of facing her own consequences, and it’s why it’s a smart decision to let Lilith decide to SHARE the curse. It finally allows Lilith to understand what she put Eda through and express her apologies far better. It finally hammers into her mind what she did was wrong and how she can take the steps to improve things…We barely see any of this, but at least she’s NOW experiencing consequences for herself instead of letting someone else’s life get worse.

The Owl House does a great job of showing that anything we do, no matter how big or small, can always cause big problems for ourselves and others. There’s no changing that, and what matters most is how we react. If we wait too long, things can only get worse and it’s for the best to fix things as quickly as possible instead of pushing aside the inevitable. And be careful of what you do because you never know when one stupid idea could lead to something even worse for your future. However, while The Owl House does show how our actions have negative consequences, it is smart enough to say that the opposite is true. You see…

Your existence changes lives in unexpected ways

Whenever we do something bad, the domino effect it causes could lead to disastrous outcomes that we could never prepare for, but that doesn’t mean our existence is nothing but accidentally causing harm to ourselves and others. Existence is actually about changing the lives of people around us, a lot of the time for the better. And there’s no character that perfectly proves this more than Luz Noceda, who is the very reason that most people in the Isles is living their best lives.

“She also caused Belos to—”

SHE IS THE VERY REASON THAT THEY’RE LIVING THEIR BEST LIVES! Nearly every person she's come into contact with is better than they were before meeting Luz because she has this tendency to make life better through mere existence. Sometimes it’s unintentional, with Vee being the first person Luz helped. When Vee saw Luz in the Demon Realm, she saw that there was a chance to escape Belos and took it with no regrets…That is, until Luz showed up again, but it all worked out for the best. Vee got a home she felt safe in, friends to spend her life with, and a family that treats her as one of their own because Luz unintentionally gave her an out. And when Luz officially met Vee, she did everything to secure her future sister a safe space to live in. As for other characters Luz more DIRECTLY changed for the better, Eda and King are the first in that regard. They were looking for someone to steal something for them, only for Luz to bring them together as a family. She became the daughter that Eda never had but likely wished she did as Luz is just as chaotic as Eda was but with more of a good heart. Luz gave Eda someone to care for, someone to FIGHT for, as she proves that having someone in your life is a lot better than living alone as a criminal with her son being misconstrued as a pet. With Luz around, Eda allowed herself to love again, letting other people back in because she needs to when taking care of this fun, energetic girl that practically crashed into her life. And with King, Luz gave him someone that is almost ALWAYS on his side, being protective and caring towards this cute little guy who never had a friend before. Luz was the first person he’s consistently interacted with that’s anywhere CLOSE to King’s age, and she was there to offer warmth and snuggles, endless support in finding the truth about his people, and inspiration on how to handle someone like The Collector. With Luz’s help, King went from a greedy demon hungry for power that will never be his, to a sweet boy who learned that all he ever needed was the found family around him. Luz met two misfits who often fought but cared for each other, and brought them to become even closer as a family. A family that would be nothing without her, with the same going for Luz’s friends.

Luz formed her very own squad of pals, all of them coming together because she was there to make them close. Willow and Gus were already buddies when they met Luz, but she was still there to make things better between Willow and Amity and, through inadvertently meddling in Hunter’s life, made him and Gus the best of bros. The most unlikely of friendships, one rekindled while the other forged through adventure, all happened because Luz showed up and improved all their lives. I already THOROUGHLY went over how she was able to change Amity’s life for the better, so…go read that. As for Willow, Luz acted as a cheerleader that often pushed her first best friend to do something that was stupid and reckless but ultimately for the best. Whether it’s pretending to be an abomination or playing grudgby against a team’s captain, Luz nudging Willow towards adventures allowed her to find her true magical strength, face her bullies, and become a confident witch that Amity would relearn to respect and for Hunter to love. With Gus, while neither are as close to each other as they are with Willow, Luz still helped him get something he always wanted: More friends. Before Luz or Willow, Gus was looking for someone to like and respect him instead of using him as a way to get something they want. Then here comes Luz to not just be another friend but unintentionally give Gus the chance to make more of his own. She gave him glyphs to help impress Glandis kids, only to grow closer to Matt when someone like Bria started showing her true colors. And, again, meddling in Hunter’s life led to him and Gus going on an adventure that brought them together as bros. Now, how did meddling lead to that? Well, aside from giving Hunter his first social interaction with someone close to his age, accidentally giving him an emotional support bird, and being the first crack in the wall around his heart, Luz also took Hunter into the Emperor’s mind and completely shattered his worldview. By the time Gus found Hunter, the poor boy was shattered and desperate for comfort, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Gus was just the one there to pick up the pieces with Hunter paying him back when it was Gus’ turn to need help. Luz created this friend group where the kids all care and help one another and gives them the opportunities to grow and better themselves for the company they want to keep. These four wouldn’t be as close as they are without Luz. Willow, Gus, and Amity might not even have the CHANCE to meet Hunter or know who he is if not for Luz intervening and helping him out of Belos’ hold.

“But she still help free The Collector–”

Oh, you mean the child who was falsely imprisoned and needed to learn how to play nicely and safely with others? The same child who wouldn’t have been better if not for Luz teaching him the value of a mortal life? THAT Collector? Because you’re right. It is good that Luz helped free them, even if accidentally.

“But she still helped Belos–”

OKAY! Okay. I get it. You have this weird obsession with Luz accidentally helping Belos and believing that everything wrong with the Isles is because of her, regardless if it was an accident or not. Good for you and go f**k yourself. But let’s not forget that Luz is the reason why Belos’ regime toppled. Heck, she was doing that before she knew Belos was a problem. In Hexside, they limit students to stick to learning one magic track before graduating and picking one coven. It’s a blatant display of preparing them for the inevitable, only for Luz to come in and allow Principal Bump to realize maybe it’s worth letting kids sign up for multiple magic tracks before making a final decision. The results make the adults remember how much they miss their covenless days and a character like Jerbo being inspired to change the system when he grows up. Luz already started the gears turning to tear down the systems Belos built ALL IN her first day at Hexside no less. By the time she does meet Belos and see how clearly evil he is, Luz still goes about trying to ruin every part of his plan. Luz slows down his plans to flee the Isles after committing genocide by blowing up the portal door, she saves the palismen Belos would have used to extend his worthless life, and goes so far to help Lilith and Hunter, his most loyal soldiers, turn their backs on him. Luz was cleaning up the “mess” she made for helping Belos long before she knew she was “responsible,” which she wasn’t. Belos knew this, and it’s exactly why he revealed that Luz helped him with his plans, even though he could have tricked anybody. He used this ploy to trip Luz up, only for it to make her more determined to stop him…until the guilt became too much to bare at one point, but that’s where her friends, the support group that SHE cultivated because of HER actions, came in to encourage Luz and tell her nothing is her fault. And when Luz came back…she died. But the Titan, the GOD of this universe, took note of Luz’s actions and all that she did to give King a good life as a shining light of kindness and would then give Luz the powers she needed to come back, rip Belos out of the Titan’s heart, and let him melt away in the boiling rain. You can claim all you want that Belos’ rule is all because of Luz, but Luz still ruined all of his plans and stopped him for good, doing it intentionally and unintentionally. Meaning that everything she “caused” was being fixed by her own existence.

…Okay, might have went on a bit of a rant there, But I can’t help it! You see, I made a post THREE YEARS ago, listing the ways Luz improved lives and how that wouldn’t have happened if she never came to the Isles. And one person, on THREE SEPARATE OCCASIONS, replied to that post and mentioned how those problems wouldn’t have existed if Luz never came at all. And it just feels like it devalues Luz’s accomplishments, the good that she did, and takes away some of the blame from Belos. Luz didn’t force him to use coven sigils or steal palisman or even commit genocide. That was all him and if it wasn’t Luz it would’ve been someone else he tricked to get what he wanted. We don’t blame Hitler’s dictatorship on the guy who stopped him from stepping into traffic before having the chance to DO all those bad things, and we definitely don’t blame the fourteen year old who couldn’t tell that the spineless, shaggy human would become the most dangerous person on the Isles. Because if you want to go so far back as to blame Luz, then you can blame Eda too. After all, she’s the one who told Luz about the time pools, she’s the one who allowed Luz to stay, and she’s even the one who’s responsible for Luz coming to the Isles in the first place! Yet you don’t see people blaming HER for all the world’s problems, do you? No, you f**king DON'T…Though, now that I think about it, if we could transition to this finger pointing and unnecessary blaming, there are some positive things Eda’s existence brought out into the world.

Real quick: I’m not saying that everything good that happened to the Isles and Luz’s friends is because of Eda. Only a lunatic would go that far. What Eda DOES get credit for is how she gave her kids a better life. Luz was from a world where most kids never got her or her weird interests and actions. She was a social outcast looking to be understood and Eda gave her that chance of understanding. She brought Luz into a magical world, protecting her from its darker edges, giving her a chance to explore, and letting her find her people. Eda found a kid who was alone in her own world and brought her to one that would eventually greet her with open arms. Things weren’t perfect at first, as Luz almost died three times within her first week, but with Eda’s guidance and care, she gave Luz a place she could call a second home and two people she could call an extension to her family. Speaking of family, Eda is the reason why King has one. She saw a little creature that lived in the cave of a dangerous monster, took him home with her, and that creature grew up to be her pseudo son. She treated him as a pet at first, thinking nothing of it, but as she grew to realize his intelligence and childlike behavior, she started treating him more like a son. Plus it’s a good thing that she got King out of that spire. He would have grown up alone as the last of his species with no one but the mute Jean-Luc as company. By taking him with her, Eda gave King a warm home, good food, and, eventually, Luz. All that is before King legally made himself a Clawthorne, making his family larger and causing Eda to cry tears of joy because she grew to love the little. She grew to love BOTH her kids as she wouldn’t be the same without them just like how they wouldn’t be the same without her. Eda didn’t think much when taking these two in, she was only being charitable. Still, regardless of intention, Eda managed to improve the lives of two innocent kids that needed more love in their life.

Life is a chaotic thing, giving us consequences to our negative actions but also rewards ourselves and others through the mere act of existing. Sometimes we’re rewarded and other times the people we love are. In either case, we can never truly know how much a simple action can affect someone’s life, whether or not we intend to do so. If Luz is any indication, as well as Eda to a lesser extent, then the show is trying to tell us that your life might seem small and your choices smaller, but you’d be surprised by how big of an impact you can leave on the world just by being yourself. It’s a beautiful sentiment that the show stands by, being one of several ways it tries to tell people that they matter. Especially with this next theme.

There’s nothing wrong with who you are

In case you’re wondering, no, this isn’t about how the show normalizes sexualities, genders, different races, and overall equality. Though, real quick, that IS a valid and important aspect of the series that not enough people took into account, meaning that we SHOULD spread that message more so that it can stick. However, for this theme, it’s more than just about representation and letting many different kinds of people feel seen as individuals. It’s more about the image issues that a few different characters have.

Starting with the most obvious, we have Willow, The Owl House’s shy girl. The poor girl starts off so unsure of herself because she’s not as good as others in one specific kind of magic even though it’s obvious to everyone in the room what Willow’s real talent is. It doesn’t help that most of her classmates judge and make fun of Willow for her “weakness,” with the time she had on the show being spent proving to herself and others that she isn’t weak. It’s why when Willow DOES mess up or feels unable to help that it causes her to break down and think that maybe she is just “Half-A-Witch Willow” like all of her bullies say. Thankfully, she has her support system to be there for her, Luz and Gus constantly acting as cheerleaders to raise Willow’s spirits and Hunter sharing how much he admires her strength and kindness. Interestingly enough, he also has the same confidence issues as Willow, having no natural magic and always pushing himself twice as hard to be seen as an equal among his peers, who are some of the best witches in the Isles. They’re also GROWN witches who had more time to mature their magical capabilities, but nonetheless, it made Hunter constantly feel like he wasn’t good enough either. It’s what makes him and Willow having each other in their corner kind of beautiful. Most of the people they see everyday look down on them, with Willow and Hunter not doing themselves any favors. But together, they can remind each other that they ARE worth more than anyone bargained for. Though, they don’t JUST have each other. Again, Willow has her cheerleaders and Hunter eventually has Flapjack pulling him in the right direction. To be honest, I’ve said all that I’ve needed to say with these two, how they grew, and how they affected each other. Or rather how Willow affected Hunter, as it’s still mostly one-sided. If you want to find out why, just go back and read parts one and two, it clears things up better. For now, I’ll say that these two definitely had their fair share of confidence issues, with Willow’s being obvious from the start while Hunter’s became more apparent the more his heart opened up. When you’re surrounded by people you think are “better” than you, it’s easy to feel like you matter less despite your own talents. But in some cases, a lot like Hunter, people are better at hiding it.

Take a look at Eda. With the amount of confidence that she has and the ego she flaunts, you wouldn’t guess she has image issues. But then you look at the curse and it all becomes clear. Eda’s regrets, nightmares, and worries proves that she does care about how others see her and react to her bad side. It’s not as prevalent or as evident as Willow or Hunter’s issues but it’s still there, with things getting worse when the curse took away Eda’s magic. She’s no longer the most powerful witch on the Isles, losing all the fear and respect she’s garnished and is now forced to relearn to be powerful in different ways. She bounces back but not without a lot of frustration, more towards herself if anything else. Eda hates the fact that she’s “weak” now and was desperate to get herself back to the top as quickly as possible. It’s not until she learned that her curse can become a strength instead of a weakness did Eda really begin to feel better about herself. I mean, I’d probably feel better about myself too if I could suddenly transform into a hot harpy. She certainly isn’t complaining, and good for her. She proves that you can always get over your issues, no matter how long it takes. For Eda, it might’ve taken her late thirties or…early forties? Regardless of how old Eda is, it definitely took a long time to get better and, even then, she still has The Collector's manufactured nightmare about people seeing her as a monster, which clearly got to her. The unfortunate truth is that it takes time to heal and you won’t be completely cured. There are times you will have good days or bad days, with Eda representing that through her false, and sometimes honest, bravado that tends to hide how messed up her issues really are. It’s good to show kids how slow that progress can be, even if it’s handled in a way that’s not as noticeable. However, while one’s issues can take time to fix, others’ tend to get worse with more time and, of course, more trauma.

Luz definitely had her issues, even before the whole Belos thing. She hoped being a “chosen one” would help her fit in, was worried about being seen as fragile, and became concerned about tanking her reputation on the first day of going to Hexside. Luz may be a proud nerd at heart, but she’s also one who cares about how others see her, whether it’d be her classmates or the people close to her. It comes with spending years of others signaling Luz out as “the weird girl,” with the Boiling Isles giving her a fresh start. Luz can be whatever she wants, even the hero of her own story…only to feel worse about herself once growing some attachments. Every time she accidentally caused troubles for other people, it caused Luz to sometimes believe she was a burden and needed to fix any problem she indirectly caused. Just look at how Luz reacted to accidentally making Amity lose her job. After getting it back for her, Luz was ready to accept that Amity would never want to see her again, despite Amity sharing the blame for it. Because Luz, at her core, is a good person, and it hurts her deep down when she sometimes hurts the people she loves in this world that she feels more at home in. It’s why Belos telling Luz that she helped him with his genocide affects her so much. It’s not true, everyone in the show knows it’s not true, and even members of the fandom who aren’t idiots know that Belos is full of crap. His actions are still his own and what Luz did is nothing wrong compared to his horrible deeds. Yet it still gets to Luz because it takes all of her issues of feeling like a burden turned up to the highest degree because she blames herself for the Day of Unity happening and all the craziness that comes from it. It hurts her so much that she forgets one important detail: She’s just a kid. Her mistakes are common, but nothing to beat herself up over. She’s still growing and learning to be better, not having the mental or emotional maturity to know better than to trust a shaggy man that claims to be on her side. As long as Luz makes it clear that she regrets what she did wrong and learned from it, which she always does, there’s no one with a rational mind that will blame her. It’s why it hurts that Luz doesn’t think she deserves it. Even though everybody constantly reminds Luz that life is better because she’s in it, it’s still something hard for her to accept. The times she accidentally caused trouble back home likely attributed this behavior, having only Camila in Luz’s corner as everyone else was busy calling her a freak or a problem child. Sometimes when you’re told your whole life that you’re a problem, it’s hard to stop seeing yourself as one. That’s Luz to a T, and it’s not until she found people that understood her and how she’s neither a problem nor a screw up did Luz slowly start to believe it, even though part of her can’t help but go back to the guilt she felt about things she didn’t mean to do.

We all have our reasons for self-doubt and sometimes self-hatred. It can stem from how others see us, how we see ourselves, or sometimes how we BELIEVE others see ourselves. And it can be an issue that could unfortunately last decades, where we get better but not completely healed of what hurts us. The only way to help ease that pain is remembering, simply put, there’s nothing wrong with who we are. Are there times when people SHOULD improve themselves? Absolutely. But if you’re anything like Willow, Hunter, Eda, and Luz, you should know that there’s not much you need to improve aside from your attitude. You’ll make mistakes, you’ll go back to how you feel, and you will find it hard to get over this problem you’re dealing with. But with the people you love cheering you on and reminding you that you ARE loved in this world, then that’s already the first step you need. And if you think you’re not someone worth the effort as there are more people suffering harder than you, just remember…

Your pain matters too

Sometimes, the nicest kinds of people tend to think that the problems of others outweigh anything that they’re going through. Especially those who lived most of their lives being told that they matter less than anyone else. And…you can already tell which two characters this theme applies to.

Luz and Willow are both victims of caring too much. You wouldn’t think that’s an issue, but it very much becomes one when helping others stop you from helping yourself. Luz is a more popular example of this as she will frequently throw herself into danger just to help the people she loves. She’ll even treat helping someone as a distraction to her problems like helping Eda reunite with Raine and getting Kikimora out of the Emperor’s Coven to forget Luz’s promise to her mom. Or using Amity’s desire to join the Bonesborough Brawl as a way not to think about her dad. Luz constantly decides helping people is more important than anything she could be going through, with Willow being in a similar yet less intense boat. “For the Future” proves this, with Willow hyper focusing on making Hunter happy and suppressing her own stress and anxieties of her fathers as she did so. It’s exactly what Luz does throughout the series, just as a one-time occurrence that Willow learns from quickly. Her caring for others more than herself fits her good-natured attitude, but after her talk with Hunter and Gus it’s likely Willow won’t return to this behavior again…Which in turn presents a problem with Luz and this theme.

That moment between Gus, Hunter, and Willow in “For the Future” is great, but it feels like LUZ needed a moment like that with the people she loves. She KIND OF gets it with Amity in “Reaching Out,” but not to the same extent Willow got with her boys. Amity just boxed Luz into a corner and forced her to spit out what’s bothering her, with the truth and how Amity reacted to it making Luz think she can be a little honest with her feelings. Only for her to go right back to distracting herself so she doesn’t confront her emotions in the very next episode, with Eda helping out by telling Luz the story of how she first met Raine. Meanwhile, Gus and Hunter told Willow that they appreciate her and everything she’s done for them, but tell her it’s okay to feel sad and to let it all out. And…Well, since there was only one episode left after that moment and all of it was dedicated to fighting the bad guys and giving our characters happy endings, all we can do is assume that Willow DID learn from her adventure in “For the Future” and grew from it. Even though Luz sort of gets that same lesson, there’s never this explicit case that she’s growing from it. If you dig deep enough in how she slowly admits what’s wrong or how she’s willing to vocalize her journal entry about what’s bothering her, then you can see that Luz learns a little. But when she’s the character that constantly puts others' needs above her own, especially for mistakes she didn’t intend, then it feels weird that she doesn’t get the same thing Willow got. If anything, it makes what Willow went through feels more like a lesson of the week than an application of this underlying theme within the series. It’s still a valid lesson to teach, but if this was something both Luz AND Willow needed to learn then Willow needed more moments in the spotlight of putting others' needs in front of her own and Luz needed more of a scene like Willow’s to better herself. It’s still fine as is, it just could have been better.

Still, it’s an overall good theme to teach kids. The Owl House is clearly telling them to be kind to others, primarily through its main character being the purest one of the bunch. But as good and important it is to spread the message of kindness, it’s equally essential to let them know it’s okay to focus on themselves sometimes too. You’re not going to properly help anyone if YOU’RE not feeling good yourself. Whether you just need to cry it out or talk it out with someone you love, it’s important to think of yourself from time to time. It’s not selfish to care about your own well-being and you won’t be a bad person for taking a day to just…decompress. You can do much worse than make yourself happy. As for those who HAVE done worse, well, there’s a theme meant for them.

People can always improve

The Owl House is one of those shows that spreads the message of turning enemies into friends instead of leaving them as, er, enemies. And if it’s enough to piss off Lily Orchard (Don’t bother with her), then you KNOW the show is doing something right. But in fairness, the show makes it clear that this decision is best reserved for those who are explicitly complex. Just look at Amity, Lilith, Hunter, and The Collector, characters we would have never expected to be reformed by their first appearances. Amity started out as generic prissy mean girl #115, Lilith was a snooty witch with a stick up her bum, Hunter was a charismatic fighter who threatened the lives of “criminals,” and The Collector was a god-like being who seemed to take joy in wiping out an entire race of people. Not great setups for characters you eventually want us to find redemption. Thankfully, The Owl House is a smartly written show and knows that you got to show layers to a person and why they’re like a certain way.

Amity and Hunter are by far the best examples of this. Every episode they’re in shows a new layer to them and the lives they live. To keep things brief (because I’ve talked enough about them already), they’re both kids who grew up with parental figures that made them believe that you have to always do what you’re told to justify your existence. Odalia and Belos both proved that there will be major punishments for when Amity and Hunter fail, motivating them to do their best for the wrong reasons. And doing their best often meant putting others down or doing something without knowing better because…what else could you do? Run away? Fight back? Stand up for yourself? Yeah, easier said than done. Hunter is proof that it’s not that simple, with Belos physically mistreating Hunter whenever he spoke up or how Belos WILL send his guards out to hunt Hunter down. Not everyone can be like Amity who has a parent that EVENTUALLY cares enough to kick the more abusive parent out. Sometimes, when you’re on your own with no real support group, it causes you to do as you're told without learning until later that it was the wrong choice. Amity and Hunter both show that, and it isn’t until meeting their friends that things start to change for the better for them. And they sure did change, with Amity and Hunter always getting a little bit better, even if their living conditions made it a bit difficult to do so. Plus, they’re kids. Kids are allowed to grow and change, especially if they’re always learning from their mistakes before doing something TRULY unforgivable. Unlike…other characters that I’m not a fan of in a different show I tried so hard to love. And when it comes to fictional storytelling, especially ones aimed for kids, I usually try not to avoid the “They’re just kids” argument because…yeah, obviously they’re just kids. That doesn’t change how well the writers handle their redemption, because if I’m left questioning if this character is MEANT to be redeemed, something screwy is going on here. With The Owl House, the writers consistently remind you that these characters are young and naive, with that knowledge playing into Amity and Hunter’s redemptions as it makes it an easier pill to swallow. And it doesn’t work JUST for these two.

The Collector being a kid is the central point to their redemption. He literally doesn't know better and–I’ve also gone over this a lot too, I know. But the point keeps being valid every time you look at The Collector’s actions. Even with the way they put Luz, Eda, and King into playing his weird games, The Collector still sits down and mopes because they all kept winning. It’s very much the same as a sad, lonely child who doesn’t like losing or people having more fun than them. All The Collector wanted was to play and have fun, but was punished for it because his siblings abused The Collector’s naïveté and made it look THEY were responsible for the other Titans…going extinct. And being falsely imprisoned for thousands of years tends to leave one a little agitated, as well as overly excited to be free and let loose. He didn’t do better because they never KNEW better, with Luz understanding that after just ONE real conversation with the kid. She was as freaked out as anyone else when first meeting The Collector, but, just like with Hunter and Amity, the more Luz got to know him the better she understood why The Collector acts the way they do. Everyone has reasons for their actions, some of them more justified than others. And even for the unjustifiable, it’s not too late to turn things around.

Lilith’s redemption still has some issues. Again, I VERY MUCH went over that enough. Yet it again comes with the best intentions of proving that you’re never too old to change. Lilith cursing Eda was wrong. VERY wrong. But she at least admitted to it and put the work into making up with her sister, already off to a great start by sharing the curse with Eda. Sure, Lilith still felt aggravation towards Eda and would occasionally act a LITTLE stuck upish, but the more Lilith stuck around the more it’s revealed how desperate she is for approval. Even a quick bit of Lilith making a little ice sculpture of Luz as a teacher giving Lilith a gold star speaks VOLUMES of her need for authority figures to give Lilith approval. Even if said authority figure is a fourteen year old who just knows more about glyph magic than Lilith. It also helped that Lilith had Hooty there, bringing out her best and bringing some levity in her life. It makes her from thinking that she’s at the lowest point of her life to realizing that life just got started for her and that she CAN make improvements, have better connections with the people, and can be a kinder person instead of a cold, stick in the mud. And with each episode we see her in Season Two, Lilith DID get better as a character and as a person, finding her true self and proving that you don’t NEED to be dragged through the coals forever to better yourself…Even if a sick part of me kind of wishes she was. I just feel like everyone forgave Lilith a little too fast, and while improving herself is fine, forgiveness is a completely different thing. But I also went over THAT enough, so I’ll just stick with the fact that while Lilith’s redemption is the most flawed here, it still does the job to prove that people are never just one thing forever.

People can change, and a lot of the time it’s for the better. They might have done things they’re not proud of or learn to regret, but everyone has a reason for it. Whether it’s how they’re raised to act, how their goals blind their morals, and quite literally didn’t know better. For these people, it’s always best to give them a second and maybe even third chance, especially if they have a clear desire to change. Some certain cynical sycophants will sometimes say that a character shouldn’t be redeemed because they don’t deserve it, but that’s not really how redemption works. It’s not about DESERVING redemption but proving you’re capable of it. When a show paints how a character is always bad and needs to change yet consistently goes back and forth on them being better or worse without much apparent growth, then that’s where it becomes a problem within the story. But if the show reveals layers to a character, proving that they’re flawed but good deep down and allowing that character to better themselves throughout the story, then it’s writing the message correctly. There are cases where there’s a good person deep down a LOT of hot garbage, with a lot of morally dark actions burying them deeper, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t forget that bright light of a human being that still wants to do good and trying desperately to claw their way out of their own pile. It’s…a complicated metaphor, but people are just the same as that: Complicated. We can grow and be better, it just takes time and love to do so. Although, to teach a message like that to kids, it is important to make one thing clear…

Some people don’t deserve redemption/forgiveness

This is the most ESSENTIAL distinction to make when writing a show about bringing the best out of others and getting them to change and redeem themselves. Yes, there are people capable of being good but there are still people out there who are too far gone to change or refuse to see how they’re a problem on all accounts. You can reason all you want with them or try your hardest to bring them out into the light, but no matter what you do, they’ll still refuse to accept that they’re the problem.

Kikimora is a perfect starting example of this. “Follies At the Coven Day Parade” was our first and…honestly, It’s our ONLY insight into there being more to Kikimora than a psycho who’s very okay with child murder. Luz catches Kiki getting stressed over not being able to see her family due to her duties being more important. The Owl House has done more with less when it comes to trying to hook viewers into sympathizing with characters worthy of redemption. I mean, just look at what they eventually try with Boscha. Besides, you don’t need a BIG reason to help someone into the light. As long as it seems like there’s a GLIMMER of a hope, then that can be enough to make it justified to help them. It’s only dependent on how quickly that glimmer gets stomped out that you realize mistakes were made in helping someone. To Kikimora’s credit, it seemed at first she was grateful for Luz and the others to help her be free of the Emperor’s Coven, even if a little annoyed by their flawed plan and ridiculous antics. It’s not until Terra (We’ll get to you in a sec) mentioned a promotion did Kikimora’s true colors show. When it seems like she’s at her lowest, Kikimora is willing to find an out so she doesn’t get disposed of like your average Golden Guard (Which she might have always known about?). But when it seems like she has a chance to be on top? Well, then Kiki will say her family could rot for all she cares if it means she’ll be seen as the best of the best. It’s that desire to inflate her already big ego, mixed with the insane drive to do so, that proves how Kikimora isn’t one to change because she has no desire to. Her only desire is to look out for herself and do what’s best for her, but to a selfish degree that often leads to others getting hurt. To Kikimora, the only problems that she needs to take care of are those who try to prevent her goals of reaching to the top. And she’s not the only one.

It still amazes me how Amity desperately tried to convince Odalia not to assist a genocide. I said it before, and I’ll say it one more time: This was Amity’s last attempt at proving that her mother isn’t evil. And we all know how well that turned out. The reason that it amazes me that Amity even TRIED because…there hasn’t been an ounce of kindness that Odalia showed to anyone. With Alador, there’s at least SOMETHING, whereas the nicest thing Odalia did was compliment on Alador’s work. Still, even then, it isn’t much given that she didn’t really know how much Alador would appreciate the compliment. So if Odalia never acted good, why bother reaching out? Well, as I’ve said several times before, it’s hard for a child to accept that their parent has ZERO good inside them. Amity wanted to see for herself, once and for all, if there’s really NOTHING good in Odalia and the answer…was exactly what she needed to hear. Even if it’s baffling that Amity tried to reach out, it’s still good that she did. It’s always important to at least TRY instead of giving up on someone outright. Amity more than anyone knows that not everyone is completely bad, so it’s great that she and kids watching understand that sometimes what you see really is what you get. A better example of this is Terra.

No one really tried with Terra. Specifically, no one in the CAST tried with her. The most people did was try to reign Terra in and tell her NOT to kill children and that didn’t really change anything. The fact that Terra RELUCTANTLY agreed just proves how deranged she is and how no sane person would want to change her. The writers knew this as even they didn’t try giving Terra that many layers outside of a crazy person who liked torturing the youths. And given that this is a series that loves showing how most of its characters are layered with a few of them deserving redemption, it’s perfectly fine to show one that’s one-dimensional and bloodthirsty. It helps sell the fact that not EVERYONE is redeemable, like having Season One Boscha act as a one-dimensional bully to make Amity’s redemption more digestible. You got to show a bigger bully to prove how the other isn’t so bad, and that’s what makes Terra so important. She’s the bigger bully, and her actions prove that while SOME people are capable of change, others like Terra are more than fine with who they are. And I’ll give Terra this, at least she’s sociopathic enough to understand she’s the bad guy and LOVES that about herself. Unlike others who genuinely believe what they’re doing is for the greater good.

Belos is the best example of how some people will just NEVER change. It’s never too late for one to redeem themselves in some way, but Belos has been living among witches and demons for CENTURIES. He had hundreds of years to see that there’s nothing wrong with who they are and take note that they’re kind people just living life and not really hurting anybody. Instead, he focused on the bad parts. The witches who made him dance for his book. Lilith, who punched him in the nose. And, of course, the witch who stole his brother away. These all circle around in his brain for as long as he lived, ignoring the TRUTH behind these responses. The Fang brothers and Lilith only treated Belos that way because he killed the Fangs’ brother and put Luz and Lilith in danger for his own reward. As for Evelyn, she didn’t STEAL Caleb away, he willingly followed her to a new world. Yet Belos refused to see anyone else’s point of view and that witches were ALWAYS the problem. Never him, and not anyone else. So he dedicated his entire life to fulfilling his plan, mutilating himself and becoming less human by the day, all so he could wipe out witches and demons from existence. He justified it because of his idea of the greater good, believing he was some tragic hero pushing himself to do what’s best for humanity. In reality, he was just a sad old man who never took the time to ask “What if I’m wrong?” And if he DID ask that, well, he likely suppressed that thought deep, deep, DEEP down inside himself so he wouldn’t have to think it again. Belos was a monster that would never change because he didn’t think he needed to despite having all the time, all the chances, to see that he could be wrong only to deny and refuse any other possible answer. Not even Luz, who forgave most of her enemies, wasn’t even willing to give Belos a chance, appealing only to his ego instead of his humanity as she knew full well he wouldn’t listen. The only person who really tried with Belos was The Collector, a child who learned the concept of kindness and forgiveness for the first time in their life and didn’t know better. If that doesn’t say a lot about Belos, I don’t know what does.

It’s always important to preach the message of helping people better themselves. There are good people in this world and it’s admirable to help those who want to be good but need to learn or relearn how. However, not EVERYONE is going to be like that. One way or another, they don’t see themselves as someone who needs to change. They either think there’s nothing wrong with them or believe that the rest of the world should change itself first. You can TRY to reach out to them and maybe you’ll succeed in some way with a few of these people. Just don’t feel too disappointed when it turns out that some people are too broken to fix. In that regard, there’s not much you could do to help them and you’ll often find yourself fighting against them. And you might want to make sure none of those people get too big of a dangerous job, because you’re not going to like what they’re capable of. You’ll see why in this next theme.

The ones who make the rules are sometimes the most dangerous

Not ALL the time, mind you. There are SOME nice people running things…probably. But not EVERY person should be in charge. There are those who abuse the system for the chance of lifting themselves up higher or hurting those whose only crime is existence. They have their “reasoning,” but it always boils down to excuses in some ways. It’s always based on “How they’re raised” or “It’s based on what their religion says.” While that explains their actions, never does it justify anything they’ve done as it’s a weak shield against the arguments about their moral character. Your upbringing and religion doesn’t stop you from coming across as a turd nugget, and if you’re wondering who I’m calling out with this, it’s the kind of people that Belos represents.

The absolute tragedy is that there are people in real life who are a lot like Belos. It’s just that he’s exaggerated for a storytelling effect and to keep things simple for the kiddos. Regardless of that, he still acts like those you’d see and hate. He’s a maniacal, manipulative leader who made the ranks through lies, smooth talk, and telling people what they want to hear. Because when you act like you know better than others, and do so with enough confidence, you’d be surprised with how easily people will be convinced to follow someone who speaks nothing but nonsense. And nonsense really is the name of Belos’ game, as he manipulated a group of people’s sacred beliefs and formed a religious oligarchy just so he could kill those he was manipulating in the first place. As far as my admittedly limited political knowledge goes, there hasn’t been a person that’s gone THAT far, as most of them actually believe the crap they’re saying. It’s just Belos who manipulates beliefs to get his way. The Witches consider the Titan their god? Then he’ll use that god to make them think he’s unhappy with how witches use magic. It’s similar to how people use the “It’s not what God would want” when making their stance on other people’s rights, except it’s not THEIR god that Belos believes in. He’s a puritan who thinks that all these sins he’s committing to the people of the Isles is worth it because it’s what HIS god wants. And for the record, I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with believing in God or any god for that matter. But if you really believe that God would want you to kill others to appease him when his teachings boil down to love and forgiveness, then I don’t think you’re worshiping God the right way. That’s something Belos doesn’t realize, as he would twist his own soul into a pretzel for the sake of his “holy mission.” Yet that mission was nothing more than a shield to hide behind his discrimination. Much like other “leaders” in the world.

Am I projecting how I see certain scumbags on social media onto Belos? Most definitely, but I feel like Dana Terrace is most certainly doing the same thing. Look at any conservative online and tell me that they don’t have similar mindsets to Belos. Because to me, they definitely do, and it’s the way Belos transformed the Isles that makes me worry about those real life dingles. Especially with how REAL the Isles feel in that regard. Oh, things seem fine. In fact, things are relatively normal with people living their lives without any real negatives. That is, as long as you join a coven, otherwise you’ll be marked for death if you break the one important rule. Everything seems to be alright for everyone who stays in line and follows the rules, much like real life society. We can live normally and be at peace as long as we ignore the problems that exist, do as we’re told, and never CONSIDER straying from the path. And that acceptance of how things are is exactly what the bad guys in charge use to get what they want. They spread their message to those who WANT to listen and are fine with what’s being preached, all while painting those who say otherwise as the purest of evil. When, nine times out of ten, it’s usually the person preaching that crap who turns out to be the real scumbag. They don’t want you to think differently or question why things are the way they are, either because they don’t want their own place in the world to be challenged or, like Belos, they actually believe that people who are “other” are actually evil. It’s why he gave these people, who were initially content with their lives, a system that seemed to encourage in-fighting, proving that you’re the best at a specific skill, and letting others climb to be the most powerful in the world for the sake of their god. Belos devised a way for witches to basically fight each OTHER, temporarily playing the long game so he can stall until finding a way to kill them all at once when his time was starting to run out.

I wouldn’t say that the show is ENTIRELY anti-government. If it was, the ending wouldn’t have implied that Raine and Darius have basically started their own. To me, the show is more likely saying that you need to be careful in who you put your faith in to lead you. Not EVERY politician is evil, but none of them are saints either. A lot of them have ulterior motives for letting them lead, with a person like Belos showing just why we should be wary of who to trust. Belos may be an exaggerated worst case scenario, but one that’s very much possible if we don’t prepare well enough to stop those just like him. As for who’s who, well, that’s up to your own beliefs and research to find out. Just remember that even though someone is in charge, that doesn’t mean they have your best intentions in mind. Though, keep in mind, this is mostly about the people in politics. There are authority figures you should be wary of, but most of the ones who know you personally are trying to keep you safe. It’s the ones that have known you for years. Ones who want to make sure you’re having the best life. And while they’re not always right, there are some out there who want to do right by you. And what authority figures are those? Why, your parents of course!

…Look, I wrote myself into a corner and I needed a good transition into the next theme. I know parents are nowhere NEAR the same government officials or those who uphold the law, but they at least uphold the law in YOUR house. Though, some of them aren’t perfect at it.

Parenting isn’t easy

There are a LOT of parents that do their best in this show. The only real exception is Odalia because…she’s Odalia. It’s the rest that shows they’re doing all they can to give their children a better life. Willow’s dads are willing to give up their jobs to continue Willow’s education when she’s expelled, Perry wants to support Gus’ talents, and, hell, even one of Boscha’s moms seems desperate to be a part of her daughter’s life by asking to join in on the Moonlight Conjuring. There are some decent parents in this show, but not a lot of them tend to get credit for their efforts. Mainly because, in some cases, their efforts aren’t good enough to those who’ve had…similar experiences that turned out for the worst. Those types of people tend to not feel good when a show says, “Give your parents the benefit of the doubt.” You can…already tell where this is going, and I want those fans to know that their emotions are valid and, if I were in their shoes, I would feel the same way. However, I think there’s some value in how The Owl House tries pointing out a parent’s love is the most essential part done right, even if some parents tend to fumble at first.

Starting with the most forgiving, we have…Camila.

“LE GASP!”

DO NOT get me wrong: Camila is still the best parent in the show and one of the best cartoon moms of all time…That doesn’t mean she hasn’t made any mistakes. In fact, Camila acknowledging her mistakes is part of what makes her one of the best parents. She was a single mother trying her best to raise Luz right, but got lost along the way due to how OTHERS perceived Luz, not so much how CAMILA saw her. She loved Luz’s wackiness and oddities, it’s what made Luz…Luz. Camila was just worried because not everyone would feel the same way, and that would mean Luz would not fit in with…anyone. And with everybody judging Luz and even judging CAMILA, it left her feeling pressured to make a change to fix the situation. Her fault was that Camila decided on sending Luz away to a camp in an effort to help her daughter, only for that to make Luz feel like SHE’S the problem. It’s not what Camila intended, but it’s how her actions came across, and it immediately left some bad tastes in some fans’ mouths. Some of it was very unwarranted as too many jumped on the hate wagon by calling Camila a bad mom who doesn’t love her daughter despite a fair amount of evidence pointing to the contrary. Still, when she does things like send Luz away or unintentionally guilt Luz into thinking she can never return to the Isles, some fans can’t help but see their own dismissive or possessive parents, even if Camila isn’t meant to be like that. She’s a mother trying her best and made a few mistakes along the way. She at least learned from her mistakes, managed to be better, and was given more depth for why she acted this way. And her character was certainly more well-received than other problematic parents doing their best.

If you couldn’t guess already, Gwen and Alador are the other two. I’ve said ALL that I’ve needed to say about them, there’s no need to stretch it out further, and so I’ll just speed by them. Firstly, they’re both characters where you understand the intention the writers were going for. They’re meant to be parents who genuinely love their kids but went about supporting or helping them the wrong way. Gwen was a mother who wanted to cure her daughter’s curse at all costs due to the pain it caused Eda and the rest of the family. She just ignored Eda’s feelings about the matter, not being satisfied unless the curse is gone FOREVER. And all that ignoring led to Eda distancing herself from Gwen because of all the intense and ineffective treatments, with an extra side-effect of Gwen ignoring Lilith because her problems weren’t as “important” as the one she caused. Though, that last bit might have been a thing long before the curse. At least, that’s what’s implied. Her actions were less than ideal, and to some fans, it would take more than a single “I’m sorry” to make things right. Unfortunately for Gwen, she never really got a chance to prove she’s forever changed like Camila did. Outside of redeeming herself at the end of her introductory episode. The next time we see her, she drops the news to Eda that Dell is about to visit, giving Eda no time to mentally or emotionally prepare herself for her father’s arrival. It was done with the best of intentions and Eda would have refused until the day she died anyways, but it’s still the same as Gwen showing up unannounced with a new and “totally legitimate” cure. Camila at least put in an effort to be okay with the Isles, even if some aspects freak her outyears after her first visit. But that’s the benefit of being a character who was allowed to grow and change because the writers found a way to include her in the main story. Gwen didn’t have that luxury, with the show barely having enough time to fit her in at all. I feel like the reason for that was because the writers didn’t have plans for Gwen outside of her introduction, so they just hoped that what she did in that episode would be enough. And…it is for a mostly one-off character, but it causes SOME reservations with fans due to the years of damage and neglect Gwen partook in. I would still personally say that what she does is enough, but I’m a person who didn’t have a mother problem like Gwen, and the fans who did are likely going to respectfully disagree with me. Though, I feel like I can confidently say that Gwen’s mistakes are an easier pill to swallow than Alador’s.

Alador is very much not an improvement as he constantly stayed out of Odalia’s way and did what she said to make her happy so she wouldn’t do anything WORSE to the kids. Even though what she already did wasn’t all that great to begin with, Alador kept telling himself that Odalia will somehow be even worse if she doesn’t get her way. He tried to SUBTLY steer Odalia off course, but still did next to nothing to really stop anything she’s done. He does when she finally goes too far, but to some fans’ eyes it’s too late. Now the question is: Is Alador stopping Odalia from assisting a genocide and promising to do better ENOUGH to accept? And to some fans…the answer is no. It’s a good start, but it’s hard for some people to accept an apology that seems to come too late. It’s even harder to accept because the show’s about over and there’s next to no time for Alador to improve himself as a good parent. I get that he WANTS to, but wanting to be a better parent and actually being one are two different things. Trust me. The epilogue hints that he did well enough for Amity to still be happy to see him, it’s just that we don’t get to see that change for ourselves, thus making it a harder pill to swallow that he’s really a good parent.

It is a good thing for kids shows to say that parents are doing their very best. I’m willing to say that there’s a VAST majority of parents who actually love their kids, even if they sometimes make decisions that could unintentionally upset the child at first. It’s nice to tell kids that their parents still love them, and it gives the parents watching The Owl House a chance to see some of their mistakes be painted negatively and it’s not too late to change. However, there are still teens and young adults who DIDN’T have the best parents growing up, and they’re going to be slightly willing to resent some attempts to make imperfect parents better. It at least works with Camila, with only those who disagree being fans who hyper-focused on her worst attributes and ignored her most nurturing moments for the sake of just…hating her, I guess. Ever since “Thanks to Them,” the hate train for Camila has LONG since left the station with barely any passengers on it anymore, and it’s all because of Season Three having her confront her mistakes and improve on herself. We don’t get that with Alador and Gwen, so saying that they’re parents doing their best doesn’t really cut it because we never got the chance to see what their “best” ever was. Both have their moments that make me appreciate the effort, but they’re a case of the intention being better than the execution, making this a lesson that needed better planning for its other parents. Though, in fairness, the lack of proper preparation for making imperfect yet loving BIOLOGICAL parents MIGHT have something to do with The Owl House LOVING the Found Family trope…

Family is more than blood

Ah, the found family trope. Something that’s genuinely wholesome every time it’s used. Whether it’s outcasts and weirdos finding acceptance through each other or poor sad sacs finally experiencing love for the first time with someone who isn’t a blood relative. The Owl House loves this trope, especially with its main trio. I’ve said…pretty much all I need to say about these three and how important their love for each other is. Their bond is at the core of what makes the show so compelling, and seeing them be happy together is what makes watching The Owl House great. On top of that, it also does a job of showing that you don’t need to be a child’s birth parent to be a GOOD parent.

Eda’s a surrogate mother to Luz and an adopted mother to King. Neither of them are her flesh and blood, but she will ALWAYS treat them as such. At least, she eventually does. Initially, Eda kept pushing the label of Luz being her APPRENTICE before sticking with calling Luz her “kid” and would treat King more as a pet before seeing him as a son. It’s partly Eda not wanting to accept that she likes having people in her life, and partly because the writers were not a hundred percent sure about character dynamics until almost halfway through the second season. Regardless, by the time everything is all figured out and accepted, Eda basically starts to become mom of the year. She prioritizes Luz and King’s safety above anything else, takes time out of her day to get those kids the things they need on the day-to-day, and will get extra murdery when someone so much as THINKS about hurting her babies. It gets to the point where if the pressure of her kids being in danger becomes too much, it’ll cause Eda to break, making her one of the few cartoon parents who absolutely refuses to let her children get mixed up in the danger. The parental figures of shows like these tend to accept that it’s something the kid HAS to do or begrudgingly goes along with it because…it makes the plot easier. Even the parental figures who tell their kids to be cautious when approaching danger tend to still bring their kids into said danger. With Eda, she’s the rare case where I’ve seen a mother actually cry from stress over worrying about her children, which proves how strong her love is for Luz and King. You don’t need to be a biological mother to love your kids, and Eda proves it. As well as a certain someone else.

I do want to gush about how Camila is the mother Vee never had, taking the poor little snake in when she had nowhere else to go. The problem is that there’s not really a greater focus on it, but, at the same time, there doesn’t need to be. We understand everything from something as simple as Camila running to hug Vee when she reveals her new form. At first, Camila may have been put off by the SURPRISE of Vee, mainly because the reveal of a snake demon pretending to be her daughter was a bit too much for her. But after calming down and seeing Vee for what she is (Which is a scared teenager with boatloads of trauma), Camila agrees to let Vee stay with her because the girl has nowhere else to go. That very act shows off Camila’s kindness, sure, but the little bits we get in “Thanks to Them” shows that this is more than a woman offering a teen a place to stay out of the goodness of her heart. There’s that first hug I’ve mentioned, sure, but we also have Vee learning Spanish fluently and a picture of Camila proudly teaching Vee how to make empanadas. It makes it seem like there’s a genuine effort to make Vee a permanent member of the family, with Camila not seeming to be against it. And her final hug to Vee at the end of the special cements that she’s more than happy to have Vee in her life, which is further confirmed in the pictures we see in “Watching and Dreaming.” Vee became a permanent part of the Noceda family, joining in on family outings and graduating with Vee in pure glee. She hasn’t been with them long, but Camila and Luz love Vee like a mother and sister would, being something that’s so genuinely heartwarming to think about despite how little we see in the show…It also feels more earned when compared to Hunter and Darius.

I still appreciate what was MEANT to be done with Hunter and Darius, don’t get me wrong. It’s sweet to give Hunter a father figure and someone to consider family outside of Belos because…it’s Belos. Hunter deserves SOMEONE to love and guide him outside of Flapjack, and Darius is revealed to be someone that was strict but understanding about Hunter being a teenager. Plus, with the information that he was close with Hunter's predecessor, and the knowledge of what happened to previous Golden Guards, you can take this as Darius wanting to keep his friend’s memory alive through Hunter. The potential of what they could be is there and what we see is still good. I really do enjoy that Darius seems ready to take Hunter in after Hunter was ready to accept that he has no one, even taking interest in Hunter’s love of wolves the second he talks about them. It’s certainly charming…but we also barely see any of it. More than that, we’ve hardly seen it built up. I know the same applies to Vee and Camila, but here’s what they have that Darius and Hunter don’t: Time and close proximity. Even when they’re off screen together, they’re still together and you can imagine the bonding they MUST be going through, even if they’re off-screen. You can’t live in the same house with somebody and NOT form some kind of connection with them. For Hunter and Darius, while they MIGHT live in the same castle, but they’re often both busy with duties and responsibilities to even TALK to each other. At least, that’s what we can assume from these two. Camila and Vee seem significantly less busy with one another, so it’s easy to imagine that they have all the time in the world to chat and bond. Hunter is rarely in the same room as Darius unless in uniform. I get that Darius cares for the boy, what with how overprotective he got and ready to rain hell once learning that Hunter’s in Belos’ mind too. But that’s the only real big showcase of their bond between “Any Sport in a Storm” and “Watching and Dreaming” that so much as hints to their relationship. It’s a decent attempt, but it’s another one of those things where I wonder if it’d turn out better if we had more time.

Regardless, it’s still an effective theme. Only a third of the found families here were allowed to have a lot of attention on them, but Camila and Darius were still allowed a chance to prove their loving parents despite not having a lot of time to show it. Familial love isn’t JUST defined by the blood one shares. It’s something experienced the exact same way through adoption or considering someone to be close enough where they might as well be family. Blood’s not all that binds us, and it’s sweet for the show to say that, not only for the kids looking for a new home but also for ones looking for an out from a hostile environment. They WILL get a better life with people who will love them regardless of being related or not. And it’s not just a familial bond you’ll get from people out in the world. Because while you might currently feel alone without anyone there to understand or love you, just know this:

You’ll find your people

This one…really applies to a lot of the characters in the series. One way or another, they each experience a state of loneliness at some point, having no one in their life for a period of time to then having the closest companions and romantic partners that make things…better. These are characters that likely thought they’d never find anyone, but they’ve either now have one person or a group of people that make them feel seen and heard as an individual. And I could go on entire essays about these characters…but this whole sticking thing has gone on long enough, so we’ll lightning round these examples.

Luz was your average nerd that no one understood, with her antics being too weird for anyone to even want to associate themselves with her. That is, until she found herself in a land that’s weirder than her, yet ironically remaining a social outcast due to her being the only human. Yet she still manage to befriend almost every person she met, with all of them showing up to celebrate her birthday. It made Luz go from the loneliest girl in her grade to basically the leader of her own squad of losers and town sweetheart to the lives she saved.

After losing a friendship with Amity, Willow spent a lot of her time all alone and struggling to catch up with others, bullies in particular calling her half-a-witch. But we already established where this led her. She got two personal cheerleaders and a boyfriend that all express how amazing and talented Willow is, having blossomed into the badass she is now. She even repaired things with Amity, making a friendship that’s stronger than it was before.

Older kids used Gus for his intelligence and didn’t respect him for his age. Now he’s the personal cheerleader of a whole group of friends who have his back and value both his input and needs.

Amity may have had “friends” like Boscha and the whole mean girl clique, but it never felt real to her. She was surrounded by people, but never felt more alone until meeting Luz and understanding what real love and friendship felt like. It made Amity want to be better as a person, giving her a chance to rekindle a friendship with Willow and making things better than they’ve ever been.

Hunter had NO friends his age, only having a bird as a companion that he had to keep secret from his controlling, bloodthirsty uncle. It wasn’t until the bird kept pulling Hunter in the right direction did he manage to become friends with a girl who acted like an annoying sister, a new best bro, and a crush turned girlfriend, all inspiring him to stand up Belos and be his own person. And also Amity was there.

Vee had next to NO ONE in her life, and she was a monster in the Boiling Isles that was hunted down by Belos. By coming to the Human Realm, not only did she find peace, but she also found a family, made easy friends, and became part of a group that likely makes her feel a sense of belonging she never experienced before. And you know what? Good for her.

Throughout Hexside, all Eda had was Lilith, which implied that not a lot of students were a fan of her chaos. That is, until she met Raine and finally had someone who both understood her as well as wanting to join the fun.

Speaking of Raine, they were a top student for sure but one that was looked down upon/underestimated due to being a bard witch. Eda was the one who saw their potential and talents, being an easy first friend and eventual girlfriend who brought more excitement to Raine’s life.

It is HEAVILY implied that Camila was a closeted nerd who never had anyone that understood her until meeting Manny. Those two geeks assuredly bonded over their shared interest in Cosmic Frontier, making Camila feel loved and understood by a man that I REALLY wish we got to see in canon. Just one flashback or SOMETHING!

Lilith likely didn’t have any friends in Hexside, though it’s possibly by choice. She focussed more on studying and being better than her sister, with that mindset carrying over to the Emperor’s Coven as she won’t give up unless EVERYONE recognized her for her talents. Friendship took second place to those needs, and, for all we know, means that Hooty is her very first real friend. And that’s sad because…it’s Hooty, but at the same time it makes their friendship all the more beautiful with how much Hooty makes Lilith happy in a time when she felt like there was no one who’d face her let alone like her company.

And finally we have The Collector, who was alone for EONS, wanting to just play games and make friends. The only snag was that he was too powerful and needed a guide, with King stepping up as the role of The Collector’s (forced) best friend. And while the job wasn’t the BEST position, King grew fond of The Collector, making them feel fuller as a person.

Like I said, a LOT of characters felt alone for so long. The good news is that they eventually found those who made life better just through their company alone. And that’s good to teach–GREAT, even. Because it doesn’t matter how long it takes for those who feel so alone. Whether you’re a teenager or even an adult, you’ll find people in your life who will effortlessly make you happy. You just gotta let them in when they find you and allow them to make life better. For some of you, it might be hard to let friends into your life because you feel too damaged beyond repair. And for that, there’s another thing to remember…

Love heals all wounds 

On top of being lonely, a lot of characters tend to be…emotionally broken. At the very least, a lot of them needed a hug more than anything ele. At most, they need a whole new life with people that actually understand the importance of love and kindness. And I…pretty much just speedran my way through most of those characters, as well as thoroughly going over the two biggest examples in this show throughout every part of this dang review series. Amity and Hunter are their best selves now because of the new friends that they made and the families they formed. Most of their baggage, bad behaviors, and worst memories are darn near forgotten due to those in their lives making things better. I’d just be repeating myself to an excessive degree if I went further with these two. They’re the best examples for sure, explicitly showing how much a person can become better off with someone showing them what love feels like. The same goes with, like I said, a LOT of characters on the show. Luz was in a depressive state, one that made her question whether or not people would be better off without her, and was only healed through reassurance and reconfirmation that people loved her and are happy BECAUSE she was in their lives. Eda was a person that pushed away everyone in her life, from families to romantic partners, until she had two kids in her life that gave it meaning and encouraged her to reconnect with those she left behind. And do I even need to explain Vee? The connections we make with people is only important because of the love we share with one another, in a variety of ways. Romantic, platonic, even familial, a person saying “I care” can do wonders to a person’s psyche in ways you don’t even know.I should know. I speak from experience as a person who often felt like no one cares about him or his existence. It means WONDERS whenever I hear someone say they value having me around. Reassurance that you’ll find your people is one thing, but being reminded that the love you get from them is as essential just feels…so right. Because, yeah, of course relationships and love go hand in hand. It’s part of why The Owl House is such a delight to see and why this next and final theme hits so hard. And while I say final theme…it’s really one of the first things the show ever had to say.

“Us weirdos gotta stick together”

On top of being lonely and desiring love, The Owl House is a show of outcasts. As Luz puts it best, they don’t fit in anywhere so they just fit in together. Our main trio, of course, are the primary examples of this. King’s the last of his species with delusions of grandeur that makes him difficult to socialize, Eda’s a criminal wanted by the Emperor for not joining a coven, and Luz was the weird girl in school that became too much to handle. The three of them never really fit in anywhere so they found unity through each other. They’re the only ones who really knew and understood each other better than most people and would go through so much if it meant making one another happy. They were weird, but that’s what kept them united as people who can be their true selves while being…mostly unjudged. There is some teasing and some questionable looks, but it often comes from a place of love as these three would do a lot to make each other feel loved. And it’s not just with their group. 

Luz took Eda’s words to heart, setting out to form a weird little group of her own. She went out to make friends who were social outcasts as well. You have Willow, the powerful girl who couldn’t get good enough with one type of magic, getting ridiculed by both peers and faculty. And Gus, a magical prodigy who is OBSESSED with humans. Both of them get along great with Luz, appreciating her siliness and joining in because it was fun for them. What’s even better is that they’re not the only weird bunch in school. The Detention Track kids also came together, due to a shared “oddity” of wanting to learn more magic by combining different kinds of spells. They went about things the wrong way and were definitely a little too chaotic, but that’s just what kept them all so close together. And “Any Sport in the Storm” showed them making new friends outside of their group, more so with Viney as the episode mostly hints that the same applies to Jerbo and Barcus. Speaking of Viney, though, she managed to become close with Gus, Willow, and surprisingly Skara, all of them sharing an understanding of being underestimated in one way or another. Weirdness tends to attract more weirdness, with The Owl House saying it’s a good thing. It furthers the theme about how you will find your people, with these little groups proving that you’re never too weird for EVERYONE. And, even further, your weirdness can inspire others to let out their inner weirdos. Amity was allowed to be a more of an open nerd, sharing her love of Azura with Luz, and Hunter was allowed to take interests and show off how he enjoys something without worrying about how others judged him. In fact, NONE of these characters worried about how they were judged as people because of the company they keep. Most of them may have been a little odd, but they all felt seen, heard, and appreciated for who they were. But that remains a final question: Who WERE they?

What does the show mean with the word “Weirdo?” What are “weirdos” meant to represent? There’s the obvious answer in saying that it’s meant to be more literal, saying that the show is speaking to anybody that’s more or less odd or goes against the grain, in a way. Although, even then, what does that mean? What counts as weird? Is it weird to be a fan of something you love? Is it weird to be unpopular or to not shine as brighter as others? Is it weird to…love someone…who happens to be the same gender…?

Maybe I’m overreaching, but this is where my mind goes when the show says “weirdos.” It’s a very vague term that can apply to a lot of people who don’t feel like they fit in for a variety of reasons. Stuff like loving a certain thing or loving a certain someone COULD fit into that and it makes the message of sticking together all the more important. Because it’s true, weirdos should stick together. Whether you like it or not, we’re all in the same boat. People will look down at us as if we commit the worst crimes, when all we did was act as our unique selves. We didn’t hurt anybody, we never PLANNED to hurt anybody. We just want to be allowed to exist, and it’s perfectly fine to find unity through that desire of existence. No matter how you’re seen as weird, from who or what you love, to the way that you act, and the way that you talk, you’re allowed to be who you are. We don’t like being judged, so we shouldn’t judge others who just want the same things we do. So unite, because us weirdos have got to stick together.

And that…is that. That’s all the things I figured that The Owl House tried to say to the kids. I may not have gotten EVERYTHING, but these are what stood out to me and they’re the lessons that I love most to have come from the show. If there’s any theme you want discussed, then by all means share. Tell everyone how there’s more to this series that makes it stand out from all the other kids shows with a point. And, more importantly, how it does it well. Because at the end of the day, while the messages can be a little muddled, I wouldn’t say that The Owl House has anything bad to say. At all. Its heart is always in the right place, and that’s what I personally admire most about this series.

Speaking of admiration, I’m running out of things to talk about why I love this show. So, tune in next time for the FINAL PART as I discuss more of what does and doesn’t work with this series as I finally conclude why I love it so much. It’s…likely going to be emotional, so see you then.

Next Part

[radioroxx]

hi pluto i’m here to ask if u have any isat headcanons. about anybody! hope u have a good sunday :))

HAPPY SUNDAY VIA can i call you via. hello

ive mentioned my tattoo hcs before but im gonna expand on them as best i can rn because i think about it occasionally (i am making a lot of this up. right now! for you!)

ok so odile has a lower back tattoo she got in her 20s and i feel very strongly about this one 1. because i think its funny 2. because it makes her 10x cooler. the other day in my moots disc we talked about the idea of odile having a past polycule that she broke off from and so ive adopted that idea and decided the tattoo is a matching one. she does not regret it at all and is still (somewhat) in touch with her ex’s. siffrin was the first person she told about this, drunkenly btw, and for months afterwards he couldnt remember if it was Actually Real or just something his brain made up (and they were too scared to ask lol)

siffrin has star tattoos on his back and shoulders! i was considering giving him sleeves but i changed my mind,, he got them while he was still travelling on his own. possibly theres a region that is more well known for tattooing (havent decided what this would be though)! he was interested from a ‘learning about new culture’ perspective, also just because Why Not. he chose to get stars because it felt right. he somewhat regrets it. (maybe, post canon and later on their journey, he would try out something else. different designs. things inspired by his family! or things he wants to remember)

isabeau has no tattoos. not from not wanting them, but from just never really having the interest. UNTIL travelling with the party. until staying up late with sif in their shared tent and finding out that, on his travels, he learned how to (very basically) give people tattoos. and begs him for one. its like 2am and neither of them are thinking clearly so they agree. they ‘borrow’ odiles ink pot she uses for writing, a sewing needle that isa happens to have on hand, aaaand it. goes very poorly. as youd imagine. he is lucky to have the long sleeves to cover it up. whatever design theyd been going for was absolutely not achieved. but! he cherishes the memories regardless. (incredibly, they would try this twice. the second time would be after bonnie joined the crew, who would catch them awake, beg siffrin for a tattoo of their own, be told ‘no’, but would still be allowed to watch as long as they PROMISE not to tattle to madame and mira in the morning. bonnie absolutely tattles).

mira! does not seem like a tattoo person to me. i think she would be intimidated by the idea- partially in relation to the change belief, partially because she wouldnt know what to get. i like to think tattoos are probably pretty controversial to the religion… some people think they are a very powerful form of change! something you cant take back. others disagree for the same reason, that its permanent. so pre canon no tattoos for her. but!! but! as i mentioned before with siffrin getting tattoos for his family, i think mira might consider something as well (confidence boosted by the fact that the others will be matching). other than that though, it just doesnt appeal to her much.

bonnie has no tattoos also aaand it will stay that way for. a little bit. this is something that upsets them greatly because i also like to believe that nille has PLENTY of tattoos! possibly some she even got when she was much much younger! irresponsibly, of course, and many of them are regrettable. so she steers bonnie away from making that same mistake too young (tries to encourage them to wait until they are 18 at least). maybe bambouche as a whole is a very tattoo-supportive town, which is where bonnie got their interest. this does not stop them from making little paintings up their arms and having the others help out as well, to make up for it, in a non-permanent way.

i havent actually designed what any of their tattoos would look like… thats gotta be something i sit down to think about,,, one day maybe ehe

[vidalinav]

Stu(died): Chapter 6

Summary: Finals week and Cassian’s birthday

Masterlist, Stu(died) Chapter List

I don’t know if anyone really follows this anymore or if anyone even remembers what happened last chapter, but... I finished this chapter. Nesta’s a bit aggressive in this one btw. 

~

Nesta will blame it all on these godforsaken holidays.

That’s why she goes to Cassian’s family dinner and stays through the night, because the cheer has her in a chokehold and she can barely gasp a no. That’s why she behaves nicer than she is. That’s why she doesn’t bother arguing when his mom asks what they are to each other. Tutor x Student? This is not a fanfiction!

It must be the lights, the cheer, the joy that regrettably seeps into her skin and drowns her in glitter. That’s why Nesta stays and talks in a voice so soft she can barely recognize herself. She looks in the mirror, too, that day to see if the difference in her persona is a tangible thing, something that she can turn on and off like the bathroom light switch, but all she sees are fake reindeer ears and snowman pajamas.  

Who are you?  

So, Nesta decides that an alien who likes Christmas and being well fed has inhabited her body. And it’s an alien that kisses Cassian that night. 

The real Nesta would never do such a thing.  

The real Nesta is a professional. Strictly business. Cassian is a student and tutoring is her job, and she contemplates this as she watches him across the table, biting at a pen. What if he makes a mistake, she thinks. Pens over pencils?  

He leaves teeth marks on the cap, and she wonders what the alien sees in him. A guy who leaves all his mistakes on paper. He’s left-handed too which makes it worse. All the ink is smudged, and his palm is a Smurf level of blue.

Cassian doesn’t care. Cassian doesn’t care about anything.  

Then why did he give you a gift? Why did he invite you? Why does he stay?

The alien speaks and it’s decidedly in Cassian’s favor.   

“So,” Cassian drags, “I know you don’t like going out. Or at least you prefer to be staying in, but I thought we could do something next Wednesday.” 

Cassian taps his pen against the table in way her heart has repeated every time she thinks of that night. The christmas lights. The warmth in her chest. The soreness in her arms because they were wrapped so tightly around him. 

But Nesta does what she does best, dismissing him with a simple shrug of her shoulders, giving nothing away. Because there is nothing there. She’s his tutor.  

“Wednesday’s a school night.” 

“You’re in college,” Cassian counters.  

“And college is still school,” Nesta says, shaking her head a little too abruptly.

Everything feels abrupt. Wrong. The oddity of the movement has her scrunching her nose. Why is she nervous suddenly? That must be what this feeling is. Apprehension. Danger. A terrible need to hide. She doesn’t feel this way decorating the tree at his house, not even meeting his family. No, in fact...

She feels like she belongs there. 

Nesta doesn’t even belong here, in this body, sitting in this room, watching this boy-man-child-person rattle the table with his jostling knee, playing drums with writing utensils. 

So, Nesta breathes in a disgruntled sigh, and raises her chin like a bad habit. 

“I’m busy Wednesday,” Nesta says, her voice final, like she’s ending an essay and hitting submit. Grade me harshly, she thinks, but this is business. This is education. This is forward thinking. 

It will be better this way, she thinks. But like many other times before, Nesta isn’t sure who this is better for. It’s all muddled up in her brain, because this is what Cassian does. He confuses. He distracts. 

And Cassian never stops prodding like he should. In fact, he leans back in his chair, a certain smirk on his face meaning he’s ready to negotiate. Dinner and movies and after session snacks and walking her home and buying her books. It’s always that smirk and sometimes it’s a soft, gentle smile right after she agrees, breathless and bitter that he convinces her so easily. 

It’s an indecent look. One so confidently sure of himself that Nesta’s sure she’s not staring at the same Cassian.

Her heart pounds in her chest and Cassian, the alien, smirks. “Well, I was hoping you could find someone to cover your shift.”  

“And why would I do that?”  

There it is. Cassian smiles and it’s reminiscent to a holiday. Glee inducing. Glitter infested. Green and red and bright, retro lights. Trees taller than she is and warmth. Warmth to chase away the bitter frost. 

He leans his head in his palm and he smiles as he places the pen behind his ear, chewed up cap and all. 

“It’s my birthday next Wednesday,” he says as if Nesta doesn’t already know. She does. She knows too much about him. She’ll blame it on that forgettable freshman year, the semester he sullied his name and ruined their chances of... friendship. He did this to himself, she thinks. 

Cassian leans closer, a covetous whisper of his words like he’s keeping some secret. I’ll share this with you, she reads from his tone. 

Share this with me, the alien agrees. 

“I want to spend it with you. I thought we could see a movie.” 

Because she’s been talking about wanting to see one--or rather complaining that she never has the time. 

Cassian leans back as if he’s ready to hear her terms, but Nesta holds her breath. She tries to will her heart to stop sounding like drums. She swears she can hear it get louder, a whole orchestra sitting in her chest. 

I hate movies sits right on her tongue, but that alien squanders the thought. Oh no, the alien thinks, you want this. The alien is joyous. The alien likes this attention. 

So it’s no wonder when the alien takes control, pushing that ridiculous need to panic outside of her body. 

“What movie?” it asks. 

Cassian’s eyes widen and he shoves his notebook away as if it’s blocking his view. “You agree?”  

“I didn’t agree,” Nesta says, defensively, “I asked what the movie will be.”  

But Cassian shakes his head. His hair is neatly tucked behind his floral scrunchie and a few curling wisps of black escape at his neck. Regrettably, she feels a strange urge to grab at the straying piece and tug. 

But she hates that scrunchie. She hates his hair that’s never neat. She hates the indecent way he walks through this earth as if already knowing who he is. Where is his confusion? Where is his fear? 

“We can see any movie you want, but I think you’ll want to see that horror movie coming out.”  

Nesta scoffs, “You hate horror movies.”   

“I don’t hate you, though,” he quips, his lips tucking up fondly. A little comically. A little too neat and nonchalant. A little too calm and self-assured.  

Maybe an alien is inhabiting his body.  One side of his lips is raised and his eyes are a rich shade of amber in this library light, and she wonders... are you flirting with me?  

I hate you sits right on her tongue, so immediate she almost says it aloud.

Only the alien stops her from spewing the words. Rip if off like a Band-Aid, she argues. Then he can hate her and go find a new tutor and she’ll never have to see him again. The alien doesn’t like that thought at all. She feels her stomach drop at the thought, dipping like she’s racing down a hill. 

Maybe she’ll puke and this will all be over with. 

But if he does get a new tutor, someone else will have to tap at his notebook five hundred times and sigh this one, Cassian!  Someone else will have to keep him focused and resist his bribery, his negotiation, his eyes and his hair and his voice. 

“This one, Cassian,” she hears herself tiredly sigh, when he looks back to his homework a little too lost to have been paying attention this whole time. “Anyways, I can’t get it off. I need two weeks' notice for things like that and Janie won’t cover for me. She’s going back home after her last final.”  

Cassian frowns and Nesta ignores how that expression makes her feel. She is tired of feeling, she decides. “I’ll still see you that day, right?”  

He sounds desperate. Likes she’s ruined his hopes and his dreams. Nesta refrains from telling him that his work ethic will do that for him. 

“We have a tutoring session in the morning. As is my job.”  

“You’re job... Right...” But Cassian merely nods, instead of arguing like she thinks he might. “I’ll take it,” he says, seemingly content with the bare minimum she gives. 

But the alien inside of her sits back, wound tight and ruthless... it is not satisfied with bare minimum. 

It is not tired of feeling. 

~

The house is warm, but Nesta’s face is still red. There seems to be a permanent state of cold that’s been permeating her body and it’s not another of bout of sickness that would have her regrettably missing Wednesday. Her nose is cold to the touch and her feet, though covered in enough socks to be safe enough as shoes, are freezing. She looks in the glare of the microwave and even there she can see it. 

She looks like fucking Rudolph. 

And yet, instead of lying in her bed, smothering herself in blankets, and turning on the space heater that may or may not light her room on fire, she is in the kitchen, trying not to put her head in the stand mixer. 

“Woah,” Emerie says, dropping her towel where she pats at her wet hair. Nesta sighs before facing her loving, but judgmental friend. What will she say at her flushed cheeks? “Are you... baking?”  

“No,” Nesta answers quickly, rolling her eyes. “Can’t you see? I’m trying to get the mixer to knock some sense into me.” 

“Well your head might be too big to fit in that bowl,” Emerie jests. “Have you tried the emulsion blender and the big pot?”   

Nesta only sighs, her gaze moving across the endless about of mixing bowls. Is this what hell feels like?   

“Hmm,” Emerie says, “you’re doing your lovesick sigh. Must be serious if you’re baking and sighing. Anyone I know?” 

Emerie gives her a pointed look, one just as indecent as Cassian’s smile. 

Cassian. Cassian. Cassian. 

Cassian who can’t get out of her head. 

But instead of replying, Nesta straightens her stance and runs her hand through her hair, tugging at the ponytail. Get it together, she repeats to herself. “Nothing’s serious. I just wanted dessert is all.” 

“You’ve never touched a whisk a day in your life.”

Nesta scoffs, “that’s not true. I licked the batter off of it the last time you made cake, remember.” 

“I do actually,” Emerie nods wistfully. “That was good cake.” 

She moves to inspect the counter where Nesta currently rests her head in defeat. There’s flour and eggs and milk and oil. Sugar and baking powder, and there’s too many bowls for Nesta to know what to do with. Who needs this many bowls? What person decided they needed 15 plus bowls in their pantry? 

“You have flour in your hair, you know.” 

Nesta shrugs, “casualty of war.” 

“Ahh, must be about someone I know then. You only start mentioning war when you’re too busy fighting your feelings.” Emerie chuckles at the seemingly clever thing she says, but Nesta doesn’t find her words so amusing. 

“I have no feelings,” Nesta answers immediately. “In fact, I don’t even want make this cake anymore. I’m tired, actually.” 

“I mean... it is exhausting hiding from the truth.” 

Nesta glares up at her friend, but Emerie only smiles wider at her look. Of course, she’d have friends who found her glares endearing. How inconvenient, she decides. Next time, she’ll pick friends who hate the same things she does... or have no friends at all. 

But that thought makes her chest ache, so she dismisses it quickly. 

Emerie points to the mixture of melted chocolate. “For Cassian right? When is his birthday again?” 

Nesta sighs, lowering her head once more on the counter. 

“December 16th.”

“So you’re dating now?”

Nesta scoffs, wondering how Emerie reaches that conclusion. But Emerie merely points to the spoon covered in a fluff of butter and sugar, as if that will convince Nesta of how ridiculous she seems. 

“No we’re not,” she remarks sternly. 

“Nesta... you’re baking a cake.”  

“I like cake.” Which is true. It’s her favorite dessert. She happens to be lucky her younger sister lives hours away, or she’d eat it every day. As is her right. 

“Okay,” Emerie shrugs simply. “Then you’re baking a cake when you have a final tomorrow and you could be studying.”  

“I’m taking a break! Aren’t you the one always going on about self-care?” Nesta can’t help but wrinkle her nose, grumbling about being reminded of her impending doom. Because she does have a final tomorrow. A final she could be studying for if not for the fact that a frat boy has her in a chokehold. 

Take your fucking cake and be done with me, Nesta thinks violently. 

Emerie waves a hand, “That’s to Gwyn. To you, I say there’s a hunky boy that follows you around like a lost puppy, and you are under no obligation to like him but...” Emerie’s words hush to a whisper and she puts her hand to her lips as if keeping a secret. 

Everyone with their fucking secrets!

“I think it’s clear that you do.”  

“No,” Nesta dismisses, shaking her head. “Negative.”  

“Denials not just a river in Egypt,” Emerie sings.

“What about Egypt?” Gwyn inquires. The door shuts abruptly and Gwyn sets down her bag of books with a loud thud. Emerie tuts, because it’s obvious she’s been studying instead of taking a break like she’s been trying to encourage. 

Gwyn doesn’t take a break for anyone.  

And neither does Nesta... usually. Neither does Nesta always and it doesn’t matter if this class is an elective that was never really that hard, she should be studying to make sure without a doubt she doesn’t miss one problem. 

But Emerie doesn’t goad at their friend, instead she takes a piece of chocolate off the counter and raises it to her lips. “I was just telling Nesta here that's she’s obviously infatuated with our nosy neighbor. Why else would she be baking?”

“You’re baking?” Gwyn questions, thoroughly astonished. “What 18th century novel have we set foot in where you’ve suddenly gone domestic? Is this what love does?” 

Gwyn blinks and for a moment Nesta doesn’t know what to do with that expression, but then Gwyn is moving to the couch, picking up the bag of brightly colored balloons. “Is this what the bat is for? You told me it was for your sister.”

Emerie’s brows furrow and she looks to Nesta confused. “Bat?”    

She means the stuffed bat that Nesta picks up at the giftshop Gwyn sometimes works at, near the hospital. Nesta volunteers there so... what can she do? It’s just there and Gwyn is laughing while she blows up balloons, telling her that she gets a 30% discount on all the things and suddenly Nesta is grabbing the black toy. It’s a heating pad just like her lobster. 

It doesn’t make any sense, but Nesta also buys a card. It’s the alien! 

Happy birthday, you old bat, it writes. 

Nesta grimaces, but when she looks up at her friends, she throws up her hands. “We’ve known each other for two years! It’s just a friendly tutoring gift. Like good luck with the semester, thanks for keeping me employed. Hope you fail again soon. It means nothing!” 

But at her outburst--which is a little too high-strung that even Nesta blinks at her own antics--Emerie backtracks.  Emerie fiddles with a spatula on the counter, turning it over and her voice gentles into a soft tone, all placating like she’s a child.

Great... now she’s hysterical. 

“You know it’s okay if it does mean something. You are allowed to like someone. It’s a perfectly okay thing to do... and it’s just as well if it is or if it isn’t Cassian.” Emerie places her hand on Nesta’s arms and Nesta tries not to shirk in on herself. 

This is what she hates. She can feel it like a lump in her throat. The feeling of being seen, watched, peeled away layer by layer as if she means to rip off her skin and discover all the secrets Nesta hides. She hoards them away like a little dragon and her gold. What will they do once they find it, she fears. How will they ruin her? 

Danger. Danger. Danger. 

She feels unsafe. Nesta shakes her head, her face feeling hot and she wants to go to her room, except that’s the cowards way out and she can’t be seen like a coward. She’s a bad bitch. She feels nothing. 

“I say this because I want you to know that we love you whether you date this man or not. Whether you date anyone or not.” 

Gwyn shrugs though her lips don’t raise comfortingly like Emerie’s. She’s rather upfront as she says, “we love you so much that we’ll threaten his favorite part if he hurts you. I know several ways we can make it look like an accident.” 

Nesta laughs a short sound. “So do I,” she says, softly, suddenly tired. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Emerie waves, “we can help hide the body and all that jazz... but can we also help with this cake? Do you want help with this cake?” 

I want you to stop looking at me, Nesta thinks. 

“I wish Cassian had never come into our lives,” she answers, though she doesn’t know how honest her words are or what they actually mean. 

Nesta lays her head on the counter, contemplating the emulsion blender and that giant pot Cassian had made her soup in. She wonders if flour is as hard to clean as glitter or if it will stay on her face and her clothes for a little bit longer, evidence of her crime. 

But Nesta concedes to the offered help. If she ropes Emerie and Gwyn into this then at least she’ll have someone to blame when Cassian inevitably starts asking questions. 

~

“It’s a little misshapen,” Nesta says and it is. At best, it reminds her of the one from Harry Potter--massive letters spanning the entirety of the cake. But at least, she spells all the words correctly. It could have had an entirely different name on it, too, which Nesta contemplates doing more than once as she frosts.

Cassian looks to the cake like it’s made of pure gold and any mentions of Caspian, Callum, Carlos, and Cade fall off of her tongue. Because C.A.S.S.I.A.N is written in big, bold, blue lettering, just like the corners of her notebook when she absently scribbles.

Cassian lights up somehow when he smiles, and his lips are wide staring at the chocolate. The hazel shine like a warm cup of tea and she can see all of the amber swirls. Rich cinnamon. A baker’s dream. A reader’s paradise. 

He is the embodiment of the word cozy... just like being in the library, surrounded by all these books.

But these feelings are made up of lies, she tells herself, and his face makes her want to puke. At the very least, she’s starting to feel nauseous and she wonders if Cassian can tell. She practices schooling her facial expressions in the mirror to look aloof and she hopes the hour has done her well, because her cheeks are starting to feel warm. 

She looks red, looks dire and distressed in that mirror. She looks like she is going to fail a test--has already failed it and there’s nothing to do to save her grade. She’s being dramatic, Nesta keeps repeating to herself, but the words do nothing to make her seem calm. 

She doesn’t think she seems calm now, but Nesta will keep telling pretty lies. She’ll keep swallowing them, pushing past the lump in her throat. She’ll fill her stomach with something that soothes. 

“You made this?” Cassian asks.

Nesta shrugs, trying not to fiddle with the sleeves of her sweater because she can help the movement. She’s in control of her body and she always has been. She is a stronger bitch than this. 

And a cake is no big deal, she reminds herself. She can make cake for anyone, even herself. If Nesta wants cake, she can make cake and she can eat the entire thing in one go. She could even take back this one and run. 

But Cassian gathers his arms around the base of the cake as if wanting to tuck it to his chest, and suddenly she remembers the thought from freshman year. That he must give good hugs.

Nesta recoils, tucking her arms across her stomach.

“I almost don’t want to eat it,” Cassian notes lightly. 

Nesta startles in her seat. 

“You have to eat it,” Nesta demands, forcefully. She’s been staring at that cake every time she opens the fridge and it takes every bit of willpower not to say to hell with Cassian and eat it herself. She’ll be damned if he doesn’t let her eat some of it. Isn’t that what Emerie keeps saying last night? That she can make her cake and eat it too. That it will be her reward. 

“I made it for you,” she argues and she can feel her face getting hot. “Why wouldn’t you eat it? Isn’t that bad luck or something?”

“Bad luck? Like a fortune cookie?”  

“Bad luck like a curse. You don’t eat it and you don’t get your birthday wish.” 

Cassian’s lips raise lightly, slowly, schemingly. “I get... a birthday wish?” 

Nesta pauses, hearing how the words sounds. They sound childish and stupid. This will ruin her street cred’. She’s not going to be the smart one anymore. She’s the stupid one. The one who makes up things that don’t even make sense. 

“But you have to know...” he trails off, shaking his head as if it’s obvious.  

Nesta refrains from yelling get on with it as she asks, “know what?” 

Cassian squints, his gaze focusing on her face, curious but apprehensive all at once. Cassian laughs, but the sound is short. Almost scared. 

“So, when we were in freshman year, I had a whole day planned about how I wanted to spend my birthday. My family had plans too, they were going to come up and take us all out to dinner. Do it big. Fancy steak house and... I don’t know, go carts or something. They said it was my first birthday away from them and they wanted it to be special.” 

“Okay.” 

“I told them to stay home, because I wanted to spend it with you.” Cassian gives her a knowing look, but Nesta doesn’t know anything, so she keeps quiet, leaning on every word. “In my mind, it would have probably been dinner too, the seafood place that’s a bit out of town, and maybe the bookstore because I figured if I could get you into a bookstore, you’d start talking about your romances and I could play down the fact that I was nervous as hell and I didn’t know what to say.” 

“You were the only person I wanted to spend my birthday with. It’s like... I met you and it was only you from then on.” Cassian shrugs, lightly, and Nesta watches as he closes his notebook, with an air of finality. As if to say studying is not as important as you. As bold of a claim as it is. 

“So you have to know, Nesta. The only wish I have is you.” 

The only wish I have is you. 

The only wish I have is you. 

The only wish I have is you. 

The words replay in her mind and Nesta can feel her face getting warm. Her chest feels different. Nausea, maybe... so Nesta, stares at the textbooks instead of looking into his eyes. 

She snaps her fingers quickly. “I think you’ll understand this chapter more if I can find this textbook I’ve been meaning to give you. I’m going to go check.” 

“Right now?” Cassian asks, astonished. 

Nesta shrugs, nonchalantly. “No time like the present.” 

“Nesta...” 

But she moves, swiftly from the table and into the aisles, willing herself to not look back--hoping upon hoping that he will leave her alone. 

Cassian follows her with a soft call of her name. “Nesta...” 

“Nesta,” Cassian speaks, hushing his tone to not disturb the one or two other students they pass along the way. Nesta doesn’t know how far she’ll go, but she’s hoping she’ll make it to Australia by Tuesday... or at least deep enough for Cassian to give up, inevitably resigned to the fact that she won’t be distracted in her pursuit. Just ignore him, she thinks. “I don’t need a textbook right now. You don’t need a textbook.” 

“I think your grades would beg to differ.” 

“Did something I say bother you?” 

“Your entire being is bothering me,” Nesta scoffs. 

“Bothered how?”

But Nesta keeps moving, her head straight and her gaze straight ahead. 

Cassian grabs her arm, a strong but gentle pressure. Nesta eyes the touch, startled by the fact that she doesn’t immediately shrug him off. “Tell me so I can make you feel better.”  

“As if you have so much control over me,” she says, though she still doesn’t shove him away. 

“No, but you have control over me,” Cassian says, loudly. Nesta gives him a dirty look for speaking so loudly in the quieter part of the library, and he looks apologetically at her. Then he rolls his eyes, smiling fondly as if to say see. “I want to please you, to make you happy... and I thought I was doing a horrible job until that kiss.” 

“Don’t bring up that kiss,” she said, loud and outraged and also furious that he has her yelling in a library. 

“Why?” Cassian goads, pushing the conversation forward, which is so unlike him to do. “You kissed me, remember.” 

“You invited me to spend Thanksgiving with your family, and besides you didn’t push me away.” 

“Oh no, I wanted to kiss you.”

Nesta crosses her arms, giving him a look that means there will be no arguing with her. “Well you shouldn’t.” 

But Cassian’s lips raise, undignified and stupid. “In fact I want you to kiss me again.” 

He moves closer to her and Nesta takes several steps back. He’s as tall as she remembers, and there’s no comforting table or textbooks that stand between like a barrier. She supposes she could grab one from the shelf and chuck it, hope it meets his face. She can run. She can transfer schools. 

But that would disrespecting the books and that thought has her clenching her impulsive fists. He’s tall and he smells good. Pages and pillows and soft sheets. Something like fresh air. Something a little darker with more muted notes. A little like getting lost in the woods. 

A little like being found. 

Cassian looms over her and for once he doesn’t back away and Nesta doesn’t assert space. He raises his hand, his palm gently, hovering close to her skin... waiting to see what she’ll do if he gets close. Nesta closes her eyes and Cassian trails a thumb down her lips as if tracing a map. 

“Do you want me to kiss you again?” He asks, his breath so soft against her cheek.  

She can feel the books against her back and it reminds her of romance novels. Cassian and her in between stacks, sneaking in dark corners for clandestine meetings. Anyone could see them. Her boss could see her. The tutoring monitors could crawl up to the fourth floor and shout, this is what we pay you for? But no one is here. It’s only Cassian, and his hulking frame. That red sweatshirt spilling across his chest.  

Nesta glares, crossing her arms. She hums, and she’ll say it’s to make him wait, but it sounds much too wanton--a deep groan in the back of her throat.  

“That’s not a yes,” he muses.  

“This is coercive,” she says, kicking her foot. “We’re in a library,” she seethes.  

But he smells so good, and he hovers over her just right. The perfect height to be pinned against bookshelves. It almost seems sacrilegious. Would that damage the books, she thinks. What if they push against it so hard, each shelf falls over like dominoes? There would be no hiding what they’ve done, then.  

Cassian smirks as she thinks, that dimple in the corner of his mouth shining on his face and she wants to place her thumb there... She wants his lips on hers. His body on hers. His hands skimming across her skin like he’s tracing words on a page.  

If she touches him first, he can touch her. If she only says yes, then she can taste him again. She looks to that floral scrunchie. She’d be able to pull on it, pull at his hair and hear his groans and finally find out what they sound like outside of her conspiring imagination. The ones hidden so deep, she thinks no one will ever find them.  

Nesta looks to his eyes, but they’re much too bright. She can see herself in them, all flushed. Interestingly enough, she doesn’t look frightened. She looks ready... wanting... waiting... eager. 

Nesta can’t help biting at her lips. “Books make me weak,” she mutters to herself. A fatal flaw. 

“Oh I know,” Cassian says, smiling. “But I'm not going to kiss you unless you expressly tell me yes. I’m not going to kiss you, unless you want this, Nesta.” 

So, Nesta pushes at his shoulders. 

It only takes a tap before Cassian is pulling away as if nothing happens at all, here between bookshelves. Is that disappointment in his gaze or does he just assume she will say no? He doesn’t appear perturbed. If anything, it seems expected. Or perhaps he’s a gentlemen and he does mean what he says. 

“Back to Gauss’s law it is,” he says, softly. 

But Nesta is strangely disappointed by that.

She can imagine following him back to the table where they’re tucked away in a space that is reserved for those who want to talk and study. Not the quiet area where she usually studies by herself. They go back to the table now and they’d pass blow up mattresses and every once in a while a student in a dinosaur costume would roam the hall as someone else films them from behind. Just like every true finals week, when students become so tired facts turn into fiction.

Right now though, there’s no one in sight. It’s quiet and strangely calm and… the alien grasps Cassian’s hand because Nesta is tired here between shelves.

Finals week lunacy has sunk in completely, she thinks. She can barely recognize herself at all as she stares at her flushed face in the gleam of his eyes. It’s no wonder she’s contemplating how sane she truly is. 

Cassian swallows, she can see the bob of his adam’s apple, but his gaze is open and warm and he’s wearing her favorite sweatshirt she could just wrap herself in. If only he wrapped his arms around her. 

So Nesta does the only sane thing, she can grasp, all thoughts of Gauss gone and instead, Nesta begins writing romances on his lips.

~~~~

Stu(died) Tagged List:

@arinbelle @my-fan-side @sophilightwood @nestaarcher0n @duskandstarlight @soitsgorgeous @swankii-art-teacher @lordof-bloodshed @thewhelk @daisy-in-danger @highqueenevankhell @lovelynesta @sirendeepity @champanheandluxxury @ladynestaarcheron @moodymelanist @teagoddess99 @spoilersteph @angelic-voice-1997 @bo0kmaster69 @drielecarla @generalnesta @cozycomfyliving08 @confusedfandomslut @dread3r @sv0430 @unhealthyfanobsession @simpingfornestaarcheron @talkfantasytome @sayosdreams

~

Do they get together after this? ahahhahahhahauahaahhfa 

no. 

[johnwickb1tsch]

john wick x model!reader imagine pt 3

masterlist

trois

-It is a regrettable side effect of your career that the paparazzi are always curious about what you’re up to. For once you’re able to use this to your advantage. The actor Derek Prince has been asking you out for ages. For once you say yes, and take no pains to keep it a secret. You’re photographed going into Nobu, and leaving together to return to the New York Hilton. You don’t accept his invitation for a nightcap, saying adieu politely without even offering a goodnight kiss. You can tell the famously handsome actor is utterly shocked by this treatment. He’s used to having women throw themselves at his feet.

You almost feel bad about it.

-You go on three more casual dates over the next few months with Derek, and the media loses their goddamn minds. The tabloids have you hiding a baby bump, and TMZ claims you are secretly engaged. It really should be illegal, to print such trash. They think you’re the perfect Hollywood power couple.

You are merely biding your time.

You are walking down a tree-lined street in New York when a rider geared in black on an ARCH motorcycle pulls up beside you. Your heart swells, and you just know.

He flips up the visor of his full helmet. “Need a ride?”

“You have no idea.”

You can tell by the crinkle of his eyes that he is smirking at you. You take the helmet he offers you and climb on, so glad you’re wearing jeans, some long-clenched anxiety releasing as you wrap your arms around his waist. You’ve been on a Vespa before, but never a proper motorcycle. It growls like a beast of the jungle beneath you as he pulls away, giving you a thrill from head to toe. Traveling like this with John is a revelation, the curve of his perfect little ass snug between your thighs, your arms around his trim waist. You trust him implicitly, driving this wonderfully dangerous machine through the mean streets of New York.

Maybe it’s ridiculous, but you feel invincible.  

He takes you to a cemetery, of all places, but it’s secluded and shaded by old trees, and has a stunning view of the city below. He sits sidesaddle on the bike with you cradled on his lap between his long legs, his leather-clad arms around you. He looks at your left hand, and you do not miss his sigh of relief.

“So, you’re not engaged…”

It’s not elegant, but you snort at the idea. Maybe you’re feeling a little reckless, after your diabolical plan actually worked to bring him out of the woodwork, and back to you. And maybe you’re a little annoyed that it had to come to this. “Not unless you’re asking, Mr. Wick.”

Fuck. You did not just say that out loud.

You feel him stiffen behind you, and your heart goes into a freefall, certain you’ve ruined everything with your big mouth.

But then his arms tighten around you, and he buries his face in your hair. “There is nothing I would like more,” he grumbles into the bend of your neck.  

Suddenly, your heart has wings. Is this is? The moment you’ve longed for, for what feels like a lifetime?

“Yeah?”

“But I can’t do that to you, y/n.”

Again, that poor muscle in your chest takes a dive, and you’re certain there’s nothing but sharp rocks below to catch it.

“What do you mean?”

“I know you must have an inkling of what I do.”

“You’re not a spy?”

“’Fraid not.”

“You work for the mob.”

“Not the Italians, but something like that.” A long silence draws on before he actually speaks again. “There are bad people, who if they knew about you, and what you mean to me…”

You’ve seen enough movies to fill in the blanks.

The problem is, you don’t care. You’ve reached the end of your rope.

“I don’t need a ring, John. Or a picket fence. I don’t even really want children. All I want is you. All I’ve ever really wanted is you.”

“You have me, baby.”

This only appeases you slightly.

“You don’t have a lover in every big city across the globe?”

He actually chuckles at that, a sound from deep in his chest you feel rumbling against your back. “No.” A long silence ensues, filled only with the sounds of birds singing. It’s miraculously quiet up on the hill with the dead. His next words make your own heart sing. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved, y/n.”

You lean back on his shoulder, offering your lips. This kiss is slow, and deep, and so precious. All your time with him is so precious. “I love you too, by the way,” you say when you finally part, resting your forehead against the scruff of his cheek.

You feel him smile.

-You return to your apartment, the one rented in a different name that the paps haven’t found yet. Unfortunately, it seems that Derek has. You’re sure your agent is to blame for that. He’s loved all the extra publicity of your association with the actor, completely unaware of your ruse.

Derek is waiting in the lobby, and frowns when he sees you walking up hand in hand with some devilishly handsome rogue in a motorcycle jacket. John is already a large man, but the way the jacket pads out his shoulders and chest does things to you. It probably intimidates Derek too, so he puts some extra steel in his tone, lowering his voice in an attempt to sound hard. You just barely repress a laugh, because you have already been cruel enough.

“Who the fuck is this?”

Derek has been in a few action movies, and he fancies himself a tough guy. He starts to square up. You feel the change in John, the tension singing in his frame. Suddenly, he is a loaded spring, a gun ready to fire, and your hand tightens on his, praying you can avoid a scene. Even though Derek’s taller than John, somehow you just know that your real boyfriend would wipe the floor with the actor.

You feel like its serendipity when one of the elevators opens beside you, and fabulous old Mrs. Ginsberg steps out with her yippy little powderpuff of a dog. You pull John into the elevator as the doors are closing. “Sorry Derek. It’s not you, it’s me.” You get to see a split second of his stupidly handsome face turn totally gob smacked before the doors close, and you are heading up. You cackle to yourself, which is sharply interrupted by John’s mouth crashing onto yours.

“Please don’t tell me you actually let that idiot touch you?”

“It would serve you right if I did,” you grumble, still so annoyed by his disappearing act.

He actually growls, and you realize that he really was well and truly jealous. You’re not sure what it says about you, but you fucking love it. He presses you into the wall of the elevator, that intense dark stare locked with yours. Even when the elevator reaches the your floor, he does not move.

“You little minx. Did you orchestrate this whole thing just to get me to find you?”

You lift one eyebrow in answer with a smirk, and you have a split second to anticipate your doom in the clenched line of his jaw before he falls on you, devouring your mouth in another merciless kiss. Then, he honest to god hauls you over his shoulder, exiting the elevator.

“Oh my god, put me down!” you shout, half laughing, half alarmed.

“I don’t think I will.”

“You don’t know where we’re going.”

“Then you’d better tell me.”

You give him the number, and he has to put you down so you can get out your keys. But once the door is open he grabs you up again, and he doesn’t let go until much, much later.

-In the quiet of the night you stir in John’s arms, realizing he is wide awake, stroking light circles on your shoulder as he stares up at the ceiling. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“There might…be a way.”

Your sleep addled brain doesn’t compute at first. But then it dawns on you, and you pop up on your elbows. “Really?” You know you sound desperate. You don’t care. You would risk anything. You are so miserable without him.

He nods, his eyes shining like obsidian in the dark. He traces the curve of your cheek, and you close your eyes, realizing that tears are streaming down. “John…”

You would give anything, you realize, to actually have this man by your side. The relief you feel inside at hearing there is even just a possibility is palpable. Like a muscle long clenched finally released. You narrowly clamp down on the urge to weep. A small, strangled sound escapes you, and he holds you harder, as though he knows. He knows your every tell. He knows the agony of possibility and uncertainty. 

“Would they really let you go?” You hate how small your voice sounds. You don’t know who they are, exactly, and you know better than to ask by now. But you do know that you hate them. You hate them, because this man belongs to you. He is the other half of your soul. By cosmic rights, he should be yours at night, and in the day too. Every hour, by your side, in your arms. 

“I’m going to try.”

“Will it…be dangerous?” You are so afraid of the answer, which you are already certain is yes.

“Maybe.” He is hedging. He doesn’t want to scare you. You appreciate the lengths he’s gone to, to protect you. You really do. You also know that you don’t really truly understand. How could you?

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

The smile he pays you is so tender, without a drop of condescension. He brushes a lock of hair behind your ear. “I don’t think so.”

“What will you have to do?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Will you have to…kill people?” His hand against your skin freezes, and you wonder if you’ve gone too far.

“Wow. I really haven’t fooled you at all, have I?” he marvels.

You press your lips. “That night in London, at the Ritz? You had blood on your shirt.”

He closes his eyes.

“You knew all this time?”

“Maybe.”

“And still you wanted me?”

“I’ll always want you, John.” It’s simply the truth.

He looks at you with wonder and reverence in those soulful brown eyes. 

“Baby girl.”. He kisses you softly, and you can feel the love in it. He presses his forehead to yours, closing his eyes. He does this for a long time. “I’m not a good man, you know.”

“You are, to me.”

- Before he disappears into the darkness again, hopefully for the last time, you ask him how he got into doing what he does. He admits that he was taken as an orphan, and moulded into a weapon for their own ends. 

“You mean you were...a child soldier?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

“Jesus Christ, baby...”

Your heart breaks for him, and you pull him close. At first he is tense, resisting your sympathy, but then you feel him relax, resting his head on your breast with a heavy sigh.

“How...” How the hell did he turn out the way he did, you wonder silently. Kind, and sane. And yet, you have seen glimpses of the darkness that lurks below. He has never offered it to you, but perhaps there is a savagery he saves for others in the world. You believe to the marrow of your bones though, that he does not hurt anyone who does not already deserve it.

You do not judge him. You are no angel either, and the resilience of this man’s soul is a marvel to you. You don’t know how its possible, but you love him even more.  

-When you say goodbye in the wee hours of the morning, John looks at you with an intensity that gives you chills, as though he's memorizing your every molecule. You have no way of knowing, but he is thinking to himself that there are only two ways this can go: he’ll come back to you, or he’ll be dead.

He can’t live without you anymore either.

He kisses you with toe-curling tenderness, his big hand cupping your jaw. He has learned over the years that there is such a thing as the self-fulfilling prophesy. So he pushes thoughts of his doom aside, and makes you both a promise.

“I'll see you soon, y/n.” 

“Very soon,” you amend. He smiles at that. 

“My greedy girl.” 

“Only for you, John.”

He releases a shuddering sigh as he presses his forehead to yours again, as though you are the altar he prays upon. “I meant that I am not a good man, y/n. But know that I loved you with my whole heart.” 

“Do not speak of yourself in past tense to me.”

He pays you a grim smile that squeezes your heart like a merciless fist.

“Promise me you'll come back to me,” you insist, your fingers curling in his jacket. 

He nods. 

“I'll be seeing you.”

It had to be true. The alternative…is unspeakable.

--------------------

masterlist <<PART 2 PART 4>>

[hawkeshep]

re that ask me stuff post, who are your canon pcs in the dragon age games?? what are their names, what class/race, who did they romance?? I love learning about other's pcs!

HOOHHHHHHmygod thank you for asking this 🥹

I was actually going to make a separate OC sheet on my pinned post where I go into more detail and share screenshots, and you’ve just pushed me to actually finish that! But in the meantime...

DAO:

Admittedly, I have not played DAO in a hot minute, but...

-My Warden’s name is Cliodhna Amell, and as you can tell by the last name, she is a human mage! I have yet to fully flesh her out, but she is a blood mage who romances Alistair. Her main party is Alistair, Zevran & Morrigan. She puts Anora on the Fereldan throne, and stays a Grey Warden searching tirelessly for the cure with Alistair.

trips and falls and 7,373,839 pictures of Hawke fall out

AHEM—

DA2:

-Next up is the actual light and love of my life my Iris Hawke, my favorite local idiot. She is my Fereldan-Tevene special mage rebellion princess and she romances (this word seems pale in comparison to the depth of her feelings for him) Fenris (think rivalmance but with me laughing maniacally in the background while manipulating the game to make it so I don’t ever have to be mean to him). Iris genuinely does not have a main party in my headcanon, as she takes the whole merry band out with her to do Kirkwall's dirty work. She predominantly utilizes fire (maximum chaos) and specializes as a force mage. Later, after Kirkwall has beaten her, her friends, and her family down enough, she dabbles with blood magic. Yes, this goes Extremely Poorly™️. More at 10!

Post DA2, and with her family now scattered across Thedas, she decides to go on the run (with Fenris, and soon their son, close behind) to protect Kirkwall from the Exalted March that never came.

(I actually have her entire story mapped out and could talk about specifically her for hours on end, I have stopped myself)

DAI:

-Miss Vaenera Lavellan the woman that you are. Unfortunately, I am predictable as hell so she is also a mage (what can I say? I love fire). As Clan Lavellan's Second, she straight up wasn’t even important enough to attend the actual Conclave, standing juuust far enough away that she just barely heard the cry for help from the Divine inside (war flashbacks to the wrong voiceline playing: what’s going on in here 🧍‍♀️) But genuinely, the worst case of wrong place, wrong time as the spare to the heir. Her rise as Inquisitor is a rocky one, leaning heavily on the advice of her advisors and Enchanter Vivienne. To keep that amazing streak of luck going, she romances Solas! What started out as reluctance to trust, followed by frequent visits to hear of his amazing stories and abilities as a dreamer mage, turned into regrettably, a lot more than either of them had bargained for. She is a predominantly storm magic Knight Enchanter, with a party mainly consisting of Solas, Sera & Blackwall.

Post-Trespasser and Pre-Veilguard, she actually joins the efforts of the Shadow Dragons, freeing slaves and fighting corrupt mages alongside Dorian, my Hawke and Fenris, as well as the occasional stint as a Red Jenny with her good friend Sera.

DATV:

(tbh she is a total WIP, but I will do my best)

-Visenna de Riva, EASILY the scrappiest Antivan Crow there ever was, and the bane of Viago's existence. Not too much info on where I want to go with her just yet, but she (YOU GUESSED IT!) is a mage with a spellblade specialization who romances Lucanis. Her main party is Davrin and Lucanis!

Aaaaaaaand let me stop myself so I can finish my nicely formatted sheet!

Thank you so much for asking and I would really love to hear about your OC's as well, if you'd like! 💜 Please tag me if you have any writing on them!